#but i feel like there has to be something kindred in them from the beginning even though ava couldn't trust him less

[beastsovrevelation]

Ava and Adriel are NOT cooperating. I'm writing Ch 2 of And the Sea became Blood. It's meant to be Enemies to Lovers (aka Villain annoys Heroine until she falls in love with him), so they're supposed to lock horns, but they're being civil. For fuck's sake, they're at some party, discussing how neither knew their dad. What is happening here.

Also, I'm not sure what's more scandalous - the fact that Archangel Michael will fall in love with the Antichrist, or the fact that she's bordering on functional alcoholism... She's having a hard time, let her be.

[weclassygirl]

bewitched

⋆˙⟡ sauron x fem!elf!reader (witch) ⟡˙⋆

summary: years of hidden yearning and need and a night to remember

warnings: smut (fingering, semi public) light choking, slight voyeurism kink, exhibitionism

word count: 2,2k

author’s note: had to add it in before a real work begins (my first smut so...). they needed it for sure or they would have done it in front of Celebrimbor once they couldn't take the tension anymore. enjoy! (previous part -> scheme)

It was rare to see him like that, in his element, focused only on his work. You found yourself captivated how he moves around the workshop, how Celebrimbor valued his work. The forge worked day and night, trying to work with mithril, each smith has made their suggestion, offered every metal known to the peoples of Middle-Earth and yet none of them wished to connect with the stone.

They work for weeks, an attempt is made at stretching out mithril but with no desired result. A crown for the High King became a task kindred to that of creation of the Silmarils. You’ve worked nearly without rest, aiding in empowering the precious metal, Celebrimbor notices your vigor and the way Halbrand moved with ease around you, like two flames lit up to reach the same purpose. He would propose any idea his mind came up with to Celebrimbor and then to you, always to you. 

The Lord of Eregion found it unusual how quickly the two of you made connection, after all these years you’ve opened up to someone and he wasn’t even an Elf. He did not interfere in this, you seemed to work better because of Halbrand, even if it was possible. 

He came to you each night, overseeing your progress in your craft closely, being in a physical form made the contact easier. You couldn’t be by his side all the time, people would have noticed, he found moments he could talk with you, not about his plans or your craft. A simple conversation shared by two people with the same ambitions.

You’ve known him for years and yet he came up with ways to surprise you. You were glad he was in Eregion, not the shadow in your mind, you felt yourself drawn to him and he to you. Like, call to like.

His enthusiasm for work showed, a bit too much for your liking sometimes. You’ve seen Galadriel sneaking around Eregion, conversing with the librarians, which made you uneasy. 

Something was wrong.

You saw him by the pond, a long day of work visible in his eyes, the way his shoulders slumped ever so slightly. Only a dim light illuminated him but you could still see his brow adorned by dust and shards of metal and you wondered how long he would look like this. A mortal man, handsome in his own right, who wouldn’t fall for his charm? 

The feeling in your gut lingered, his identity was bound to be discovered. He knew you worried and assured you that he had a plan.

“And what if it fails?” you ask as you come down the steps. Many would have stopped being his collaborator, but not you, not when you’ve been by his side for so many years, whether at first you hated the very thought.

“Do you truly think so little of me?” he counters.

You huff, this man… “I think that it is a risk, staying here longer than you need to. This…” you gesture toward his appearance “will not fool everyone. They will notice.”

He steps closer and places his fingers under your chin, he likes to see you try and tear your sight away from his. He knows that you’re not the one to walk away from a challenge.

“With time, they will see and believe whatever I want them to.” he pulls away but the feeling of his fingers lingers.

“How long do you plan to retain this form?” you ask. He tilts his head and looks down at his clothes and hands.

“Is it not to your liking?” 

“I didn’t say that.” you tease. You look over the trees to the towers. “Eregion is the realm of the Elven smiths not men. You're a King, they’d expect you to be with your people.” he takes your hand, the illusion from it lifted in the comfort of his presence. He traces the scar absentmindedly.

“And would my queen join me?”

Queen… He never called you that before. “We’re not bound.” you remind him.

“And yet the idea entices you, after all these years.” he lets go of your hand and places his on your shoulder. “Shame to let it go to waste.” 

“Why not have it all for yourself?” you ask genuinely. He could have it all, Middle-Earth, all of the races under his rule. His hand snakes up to your cheek, making you look up at him again.

“I’ll burden myself with the crown and let you cherish in the light of it. No one to command or put you through suffering again.” 

“On my deathbed.” you whisper as he leans closer, his breath on your neck making you shiver. 

“I’d prefer little death slipping from your mouth.” 

Despite your defiance, you lean into his touch as his lips place kisses on your neck and for a moment you believe it to be an illusion, another vision conjured up by him, far away from your reach. He reminds you of the realness of this moment when his hand cups your jaw and closes the distance between you. 

You’d make a fool of yourself if you pushed him away, especially when he’s been on your mind for so many years. He would have reveled if he knew the many sleepless nights you’ve spent trying to get rid of the revenant feeling of his touch. How with every disappearance from your chambers you longed for nothing more than to ask him, beg him to stay. Perhaps he knew with how he looked at you right now, eyes dark with desire, his lips slightly swollen from the kiss. 

You push him back onto the stone bench, his hands wander to pick up as much fabric as they can when you straddle him. He grabs the back of your neck to crash your lips onto his, you bite at his lips, wanting more and accidentally draw blood. He pulls away and swipes his thumb over the cut, black blood spreading over his lip. He looks up at you and brings the thumb to your lips, he brushes against them once until you open your mouth and lick away the blood from his finger. The sight would have sent him to the Undying Lands that very moment, but he couldn’t part just yet until he had his fill of you. 

His hands slither under your dress, his touch like fire lingering on your skin. Carved by Morgoth and worshipped at Sauron’s hands. He takes your hand in his and kisses each darkened finger, his lips linger on the scarred one. 

“I take it it’s to your liking then.” he teases and you grab his jaw, his stubble softly digging into your skin.

“Your shadowed form was quite pleasing as well.” you retort and kiss him once more. You’d let him swallow you whole, let him corrupt you even further just to have him near you. 

He hand slips between you two and dips into you, the intrusion welcomed as you draw a breath between your lips. The bundle of nerves that ached for him, falls apart at the simplest touch. Your head tilts back as he withdraws his fingers only to push them back in, his rhythm increasing slowly, he would not have you out of his grip yet. 

Your cunt clenches around him when he adds another finger and Sauron grabs at your throat, putting the smallest pressure that could bring you to the edge. He chuckles as he watches you, his lips kiss up your throat.

“So willing.” he taunts and you return from your bliss state at his words. Your hand sneaks under his robe to return the favor, he groans as you grab his cock, your hand moving in time with his fingers deep in your cunt. 

There’s a wicked smile tugging at your lips and he wishes nothing more to let you have your way with him. He knows he’s done for as he takes your appearance, breathless and wanton. 

A witch that bewitched his body and soul. 

You gasp when he pushes away the fabric covering your breasts, his mouth dives to devour. Black Speech slips from your mouth when he pulls at your nipple and oh, how cherishes the sound. He taught you it, even if you picked it up from the Orcs guarding your cell in Forodwaith. 

“Fuck.” you breathe out as his hand picks up its pace and another tugs at your nipples. You moan against his neck when your hand on his cock begins to falter, to blissed out to form a coherent sentence. You kiss up his neck and move to brush your lips against his. 

The night settles over Eregion and he wishes to stay in this moment, create an illusion of the two of you to roam and work in Eregion while he fucks you endlessly in your chambers. Your mind drifts again but is snapped to reality when the two of you hear people approaching. You pull away but his fingers stay inside you, his pace dying down but not fully.

“Mairon.” you warn him and a corner of his lips lifts up. 

You never called him Sauron, the Abhorred, and he was grateful.

The chatter grows and you feel a soft wind around you, Sauron’s hand continues its ministrations. You realize he’s cast an illusion over the two of you. To anyone looking it would appear as if the two of you were having a simple conversation on the bench. Any wiser would see a scandalous scene and you wish you could see their reaction. 

You recognize them, the smiths you worked closely over the years, they call out your name. “Still awake?”

You nearly curse Sauron when he adds another finger. You try your best to respond under the illusion. “Yes.” 

“Discussing new ideas.” he adds and flicks over your bud with his thumb. You nearly smack him but the pleasure is too great for you to care. 

You’re too far gone to continue the meaningless conversation, Sauron takes over your voice until the smiths leave. Your hand squeezes him ever slightly, moving faster with each stroke and he grabs your hair. 

“Careful, witch.” his threat is interrupted by the moan that follows. You smile mischievously, oh how you could just stop the time to feel him bring you to your pleasure over and over again. 

“Would you let them see?” you question against his lips. You on display as he laps at your folds and sets a relentless pace with his cock buried deep inside you. Doing whatever he pleases with you, whatever you wish to do with him.

His pace quickens and you spiral close to your release. His breathing becomes labored with each pump of your hand. 

“I would make them wish they were you.” his words set you ablaze as you spill around his fingers. You moan into his mouth, body shuddering with release and he does not let go until your body completely gives out. Your head falls into the crook of his neck when his fingers leave you and immediately miss the feeling. 

He brings up his fingers to your mouth and lets you taste yourself from them. You lick them clean like a starved woman and the sight arouses him even more, his cock straining against his robes again. He licks up your hand, swallowing every last drop, truly worthy of each other.

He lifts you up from him and kneels before you, you arch your eyebrow when he lifts your dress once more. His tongue darts out to clean every drop that has not coated his fingers, the heat pools inside you as he slowly laps at your folds. You arch your back, in too fucked state to form a coherent sentence. His hands travel back to your breasts and you whimper in pleasure.

You feel your second orgasm coming in waves and he lets you ride it out on his face, gladly cleaning you up again. His moans reverberate against you, Black Speech on his tongue as he praises you. You look down at him as he comes up, your need for him still growing but you hold yourself back, you’ll have him completely another day. 

There’s no turning back now.

He kisses your neck, jaw, cheek and finally lips. Your tongue makes its way into his mouth, his passion burning brighter with each touch. Years you’ve longed for this and won’t feel satisfied until you have him all.

“Bind yourself to me.” he whispers against your lips and you consider this time. He brushes away strands of your hair and you melt into his touch when it lands on your cheek. 

“Not yet.” you respond, the words he so often spoke to you when the matter was brought up. You knew that if you did and he was no longer within your reach you would have gone mad. He would have loved to see the havoc you would wreak in his name.

You lean closer to him as he kneels before you. Your hand cups his jaw before pulling it to you. Your words a threat and a promise.

“Make sure your path to glory doesn’t lead to a grave and I will.”

He smiles. 

You were perfect.

next part --> wonders

[etherfabric]

How the Universe provides for you + Songs

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

Strength, 3 of Pentacles

You have loyal allies in your challenges. A lot of unforeseen inconveniences you can't seem to avoid are in your energy, but this time, you feel the support - be it physical incarnations of kindred spirits, or those from the other realm connected to you. Yes, your heart is pounding and your knees are shaking, and these instances definitely aren't what you would've put on your wish list in a million years - but you surprise yourself with your bravery amidst it all. You thrive in collaboration with likeminded people, even in the face of your antagonists. The Universe is sending you storms so you can see how well you build your structure, and feel like the badass boundary expert your past self dreamed they could be.

This was a test, and you passed with flying colors. All your hard inner work is tangibly paying off, and you feel elated and proud - rightfully so.

Pile 2

Queen of Pentacles, The Fool

You finally stopped caring so much. You figured out where (or with whom) you lose the energy you so desperately missed all this time, and despite the struggles of letting go, you are now light as a feather. But in contrast to the past, where you were simply too scared to attach fully, so what else is there to do but float... you can now fall back on and draw from the deep roots you grew in fertile ground. Nourishment tailored to your needs is in constant supply, and plenty of opportunities to extend that generosity onto are emerging on the horizon. But this time, you know what to look for to have it reciprocated.

There might be people you still deem generally lovable you had to leave behind, and trust that hearing their criticism or seeing the effect of your absence on them will never truly stop hurting - but you know your worth and needs better than ever, and are determined to ultimately look ahead to the promising future. The Universe provides for all, and not just through you.

Pile 3

7 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles

The Universe is fueling your fierce protector side. You respect your own time more than ever, and see the value of patience with yourself. Your vulnerability is no longer a source of shame, it has become your most precious inspiration. Outside disturbances can't faze you out of your serenity with your true self. You worked hard for where you are, and you are not letting anyone counterproductive get close to it. Take the various toxic coping mechanisms projected onto you as the compliments that they are - you trusted in your balance, followed what felt right, and are reaping the rewards, while others still cling to the very same mindset that starts itching once you are around.

You understand the delicate relationship between healthy aggression and egotistical overkill, and are a role model for those wanting to follow you. The blessings you have already received are shining brighter than ever, and it's only the beginning. Isn't it so worth it being seen as the bad guy? Your people love you for what you are doing for them. No one can take this away from you, because you know how to keep it - becoming more authentic every chance you get.

Pile 4

2 of Swords, The Hermit

I can imagine you clicking on this particular reading with a kind of scoff. "Oh yeah? Providing for me? I see fuck all." Dare I recommend to expand your understanding in which ways one can receive...? I see you clinging onto promises you kind of already know aren't very, well, promising. But for some reason you only want it that way, almost to try to prove a point no one even challenged you on. Your idea of what you need and what you want have no space for differences inbetween. This might not sound pretty or comforting - I feel awfully confrontational saying this to you actually, and my Cancer Mars is shaking like a leaf - but I see the Universe providing you with an ultimatum.

Drop the rope if you truly want happiness (and not just validation for how great all of your ideas are), or be stuck in the frustration eating away at you. Look at what you already have. Yes, it's not the ultimate dream, but you have to first step inside of you to be able to receive. Because inside of you is where you will feel the love that's on its way to you - not craning your neck out as far as you can, desperate for a crumb to roll by.

[estellan0vella]

Every King Needs His Queen ❀ Sukuna (REQUESTED)

Masterlist

Shibuya has been transformed into a chaotic battlefield, where curses and sorcerers clash amidst crumbling buildings and terrified civilians.

Amidst this turmoil, Sukuna's malevolent laughter echoes through the streets as he fully takes over Yuji's body. The vessel’s power thrums with the intoxicating mix of youthful strength and cursed energy, and Sukuna relishes the sensation.

His eyes, now with those signature four pupils, scan the destruction around him with a predatory glint. The chaos, the screams, the destruction—all of it feels like home.

But something, or rather someone, is missing. A sense of familiarity tugs at the back of his mind, and a cruel smile curls on his lips.

"Soon," he murmurs, his voice a deep growl that resonates through the air.

As he strides through the wreckage, curses and sorcerers alike fall before him, either fleeing in terror or meeting swift, brutal ends. The ground trembles beneath his feet, not just from his power, but from the anticipation of a long-awaited reunion.

His mind drifts to her—his queen, the only one who has ever matched his malevolence and power. The queen of curses. His wife. He knows she is near. He can feel her presence, a familiar darkness that has always complemented his own.

She is here, amidst the chaos, drawn perhaps by the same forces that had lured him into this city-wide massacre.

Then, amidst the dust and the ruins, he sees her.

She stands tall, regal even in the midst of destruction, her eyes blazing with a mixture of power and fury. Her presence commands respect, a dark aura surrounding her that makes even the most twisted curses shrink away. She is as breathtaking as ever, a vision of lethal beauty.

"Ryo,"

"My queen," he replies, his tone dripping with a twisted affection. He strides toward her, every step purposeful, until they are mere inches apart.

For a moment, they simply stand there, the world around them fading into insignificance. The connection between them crackles in the air, a potent mixture of power and passion that has endured for centuries.

Then, without warning, Sukuna pulls her into a fierce, claiming kiss. It’s a clash of teeth and tongues, a battle of dominance that neither wants to lose. She responds in kind, her fingers tangling in his hair as she pulls him closer. The kiss is both violent and tender, a reunion of two kindred spirits.

Around them, the battle continues, but they are lost in each other, oblivious to everything but the sensation of being together again.

When they finally break apart, both are breathing heavily, eyes locked onto each other with a fiery intensity. Sukuna’s grin widens, his hand caressing her cheek with a surprisingly gentle touch.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmurs, and there is an unspoken promise in his eyes—a promise of chaos, destruction, and an eternity spent together.

“And I, you,” she replies, her voice softer now, but no less fierce. Her hand moves to rest over his chest, where Yuji’s soul still struggles against the overwhelming force of Sukuna’s possession.

Sukuna’s gaze darkens as he senses the resistance. Yuji’s soul, though weakened, still fights, still clings to hope. It is an irritation, a distraction from the moment of their reunion. But she is here now, and together, there is nothing they cannot achieve.

“Shall we?” she asks, her voice a seductive whisper.

With a nod, Sukuna places his hand over hers, their combined cursed energy flaring with a deadly intent. She closes her eyes, focusing on the task at hand.

Yuji’s soul, already battered by Sukuna’s presence, begins to crumble under the combined assault. There is no mercy in their actions, only a ruthless efficiency borne of countless battles fought side by side.

Yuji’s soul screams in silent agony, a final, desperate cry that fades into nothingness. The vessel is now completely theirs, unchallenged and absolute.

“It’s done,” she says, her eyes opening to meet his once more. There is a sense of satisfaction in her gaze, a dark triumph that matches his own.

Sukuna’s grin is feral as he leans in to capture her lips in another searing kiss. This time, there is no urgency, only the promise of what’s to come. The city may burn, the world may crumble, but they are together again, and that is all that matters.

As they pull apart, she rests her head against his chest, listening to the steady, powerful beat of his heart. His arms wrap around her, a rare moment of tenderness amidst the chaos.

“Together, we will reign supreme,” Sukuna murmurs, his voice a dark promise.

“Always,” she replies, her voice filled with unwavering conviction.

They stand there, savoring their reunion amidst the destruction. The cacophony of battle seems distant, a mere background to their intimate moment. However, a familiar presence makes itself known, the air around them growing colder, charged with a different but equally potent energy.

Uraume steps out from the shadows, their loyal servant and confidant, a figure whose loyalty to Sukuna is as ancient as their bond. Uraume’s expression is a blend of reverence and relief, their eyes fixed on Sukuna with unwavering devotion.

“My Lord,” Uraume says, bowing deeply before turning their gaze to her. “My Lady.”

She smiles, a rare, genuine expression of warmth. “Uraume. It’s good to see you.”

Uraume straightens, their eyes flicking between the two. “I’ve awaited this moment for so long. The world will tremble before your combined might.”

Sukuna’s laughter rumbles through the air, a dark, mirthful sound. “Indeed, Uraume. The world has grown complacent in our absence. It’s time to remind them of true power.”

With a nod, Uraume steps closer, their presence adding another layer of strength to the trio. “What are your orders, my Lord?”

“For now, we enjoy this moment,” Sukuna replies, his arm tightening around his wife. “But soon, we will lay waste to those who dare oppose us. We will carve our legacy into the very bones of this world.”

His queen’s eyes gleam with anticipation. “Together, we will reshape this world in our image. Nothing and no one will stand in our way.”

Uraume nods, their expression resolute. “As you command.”

The three of them stand amidst the ruins, a formidable trinity of power and malevolence. Around them, the battle continues, but they are an island of calm amidst the storm. The reunion is not just a personal victory; it is the herald of a new era of terror and domination.

As the night deepens and the fires of Shibuya burn bright, Sukuna and his queen walk side by side, Uraume following closely behind. The city is their playground, the world their canvas. With every step, they leave behind a trail of devastation, a reminder of the unstoppable force they have become.

[koji-haru]

Time Travel Au Part: 2

[Sorry this took too long and how short it is. I've just been going from one holiday onto another, and writing on my phone is just 🫠. Anyway, hope you enjoy it anyway.]

Under a large oak tree were two figures in a comforting embrace. Lilith had her head on Lucifer’s lap as his deft fingers braided her soft hair, adding some flowers in between. The thick foliage provided both shade from the afternoon sun, though some managed to pass through, speckling both with golden light. Lilith stared at the canopy, her mind preoccupied. While they told her that Eden was paradise, every day it felt more and more like a lie. From the forests to the beaches, everything was perfect. All following the same repetitive rhythm, and she was to dance along with it over and over again. For Lilith, it felt like torture. Everything felt stagnant, like there was no room for change since everything was already perfect. And the thought of living this life forever… well, the thought terrified Lilith.

Then, there was also Adam. From the very beginning, he never seemed to have liked her, and while the feeling was mutual, recently, Lilith felt that he has grown more forceful. They couldn't even stand being near each other anymore. There was one time when she confided in him her feelings of wanting more out of Eden. She had expected the usual response of disagreeing with her, scolding her of disobeying God. Instead, he pointed towards the walls that surrounded Eden.

“Those walls exist for a reason. Ever wonder what's beyond them?”

And when he pointed it out like that, then yeah, now she wondered, and she has been wondering ever since. What was beyond the walls? What were they separating them from? Was there life outside the garden? So many questions in her mind, and yet she couldn't have the answer. Not if she continued to play by God’s rules.

—--‐---------------------------------------------------------------------

Adam laid under the gentle warmth of the sun, soft grass cushioning him. His hand lazily brushing the jaguar on top of him. The last few days had been such nice days for him. He saw Lilith less as he drove her further and further away, and he was pretty sure that anytime now her and Lucifer would get caught, or she'd eat the apple. Either way, he couldn't wait.

He had fully intended to spend the day just lazing about, spending time with his new best friend, Amora the jaguar, enjoying the sun as he hummed a satisfied tune. A little reward for himself for doing so well despite Lucifer and Lilith's presence. Suddenly, a small shadow loomed above him. He peeked one eye open to check who was disturbing his sunbathing time. Leaning over him was a familiar face, one that he hasn't seen much.

“Adam.”

Michael called for Adam's attention. Cold blue eyes boring into Adam's, wavy golden locks that hung just above his shoulders framed his handsome, yet delicate face.

For a short moment, Adam remained laying on the grass as he stared back at Michael. What was he doing here? Did he do something suspicious for Michael to come down? Has he been caught already?

Adam blinked slowly, calming his nerves. He gently patted Amora to get off him. He sat up, twisting his body to face Michael. Well, here goes.

“Hello, what can I do for you, um…”

“Michael. I'm one of Lucifer’s brothers.”

Adam pretended to beam up at the mention of Lucifer.

“I thought I might find him with you considering his latest passion…” Michael looked around. “Lilith isn't with you?”

Adam deflated at Michael's question. He looked down as he mindlessly picked on the grass.

“...No. I haven't seen much of Lucifer or Lilith lately,” Adam replied, his voice with dejection, a little frown on lips. “But that's alright! I've got Amora here with me!” Adam stretched hid arms wide, shaking his hands as he proudly presented the jaguar that was lazily lying down beside him. He loved all the animals in the garden, but he and Amora, they were kindred spirits. As friendly as she was like the other animals, the jaguar also had a mischievous side. Sometimes, he'd catch her randomly pushing others animals off a spot for no particular reason at all. Maybe she just didn't like them, and honestly, Adam can relate. He also liked to bother some people for no particular reason, or well, he used to have those people.

Michael cocked an eyebrow at that. That wasn't right. “You're saying you haven't seen both of them in a while?”

Adam shook his head.

“Adam, Lilith is your partner and Lucifer is the main caretaker of this garden. That includes you and Lilith. It is not right for either of them to exclude you.” Michael declared, his voice ever serious. “Stay here. I'll correct this.”

And with that, Michael unfurled all of his six wings, pure white at the top fading into blue at the tips, and took off to the skies.

Adam had met Michael before in his previous life, although they didn't interact much. The angel was always busy with work that he took maybe a little too seriously. Actually, everything about the angel was too serious. Always straight and to the point, it was either business or nothing at all. He swore the guy never took a break. But honestly, that was what he liked more about Michael than with Lucifer. Michael was someone you could trust, he was someone that kept his promises. The few times they did interact was when Adam was still new to Heaven and being angel. While Adam picked up some skills over the thousands of years he spent as leader of the exterminators, Michael taught him most of his fighting skill. Michael was just cool like that, definitely the better brother.

Adam watched Michael take off to the skies searching for both Lilith and Lucifer. He really hoped that Michael would catch them on the act, that would make his day even better. Adam wrapped his arms around Amora as he buried his face on her silky fur while humming a happy tune. The jaguar purred in response, nuzzling against Adam in return.

I just found a way to get rid of them. Nice.

Part 1

Part 3

[artsymeeshee]

It isn't much of an ask, as more of a thank you.

Your heavier toned sea grunk comic with Stan discussing his thoughts of suicide has always held a place in my heart.

I started into the fandom around January 2022, and was pretty introverted getting into it. At that time, I was around 13 years into my undiagnosed depression, and failed one attempt to end it in that span. My introverted nature and being so warped kept me from wanting to engage with others from the fandom. I figured I was an outsider with more issues than what could be handled, and no one would be there for me(and I wouldn't blame them).

I didn't think that around July 2022, people would begin reaching out to me, understanding me, and accepting me. I found kindred spirits and my family. And in September, my best friend found me. She is the Ford to my Stan. She has stuck by me and loved me when I have been unlovable and it wasn't required. And we bonded over our favorite guys of course. She got me into Tumblr, and this was one of the first comics that I saw, and it made me bawl. It felt like talking to my best friend face to face, even 500 miles apart.

Then, shifting into December 17, 2023, I tried again to go, standing in the freezing night on the edge of the local bridge, seeing the dark, and waiting to embrace it. And everything that I loved flooded me in that darkness: My best friend, all my friends I had made, my family, and this comic. Stan felt that way, but he held on, because he got Ford back. It was part of why I stepped down, and just sat for awhile, and took the time to finally get help. Those feelings are now distant and rare when I reached out for proper help.

Even now, I'm struggling, but not wanting to be in that place again. Just feeling like I'm inadequate as a spouse, but we are both working through it. It has been difficult the last few weeks, and this comic emerges again today, and flooded me all over again with the reminder that Stan chose to live, even if it was hell for a long time, and I can do it too.

So, if you haven't fallen asleep on me yet, I just wanted to thank you for making this comic. And for all of them. It resonates with me deeply, and frequently more than you'll ever know, and at points, has kept me here.

Thank you 👉👈

🥺🥺 Oh wow. I don't know what to really say but thank you for opening up and telling your story. I know it can be really hard to open up like that. It makes me happy to hear that things have gotten a lot better, even if it's not 100%.

That comic was a spur of the moment kind of thing because I was originally going to make just a vent post of myself but then something about wanting to get out particular thoughts I've had through Stan seemed like a better approach. Perhaps this could come as a bit of surprise to some but as much art of Ford I've done, Stan is actually the favorite of the two.

I kind of thought that comic was going to be my last at the time. My mind spiraled pretty bad during that time last year and figured that it wasn't worth trying to say how I've been and just leave because I genuinely believed I was better off no longer being part of the Fandom. I still think I do on some days but seeing messages like these or even small encouraging ones is enough to think I am still worthy enough to stay.

❤️

[bl0rbohandbag]

– some vampire the masquerade x changeling the lost concepts that will not leave me alone.

"but vtm and ctl are from different settings–" shhhhhh :)

— part 2.

before i begin: i have been dabbling in vampire the masquerade and changeling the lost content for a while, i am not a fan of changeling the dreaming and vampire the requiem is unfamiliar to me. anyway! buckle up, enjoy the ride, this is kind of long.

trigger warning for abuse/unhealthy parental relationships because vamps i guess.

first of all: i recently read vtm: bloodstained love. while it focus on the more romantic and sexual aspects of kindred relationships with a lot of references to obsessive/posessive behavior and grotesque acts of love, it also made me wonder how those would translate to platonic or familial relationships. add some changeling shenanigans to that and we have some interesting concepts to play with! and with that being said...

– you're a changeling. kidnapped into arcadia and trapped there for who knows how long. in your durance, you dream of going back home, of reuniting with your friends and family, escaping your keeper to finally, finally enjoy freedom in the world you were born in.

– and one day, you do escape. back into your world, never feeling completely safe with your keeper looking to get you back and huntsmen being a very real threat, but you're ready to rebuild your life and enjoy your newfound freedom.

– there are various mentions throughout the ctl books on how unsuspecting or heedless changelings might have their freedom stolen again, this time by kindred. so, as it turns out, you'll have to deal with creatures other than the true fae who are more than willing to keep you caged!

the angst potential in a changeling reuniting with ther parent(s) only to find out they've become something inhuman, and not all that different from their keeper is unmatched.

maybe you watch them from a distance first. maybe you excitedly seek them out. maybe you just randomly bump into your parent by complete chance, after presuming them dead or deciding to abandon your old life. maybe they find you.

but the point is: they're kindred. so different from when you last saw them, as a teenager, as a child, before you were taken. as if having huntsmen and your keeper after you wasn't trying enough, a vampire parent comes (back) into your life to make it even more complicated.

a ventrue dad will make his ghouls your bodyguards, following you day and night. it makes you insanely uncomfortable, as you liken them to changelings serving true fae back in arcadia. he says it's because of his own dangerous kindred affairs that might affect you, but after an unplesant encounter with the huntsmen he might just decide you shouldn't be out and about at all.

your parent is either a neonate or an ancilla by the time your return from arcadia. your fetch is dead for whatever reason, expired, after living a life in your stead, automatically making the vampire believe their child is dead– now imagine their surprise and confusion when they see you– real you, living and breathing. and maybe you're distraught, too, seeing that they haven't aged a day or should, depeding on how long you've been gone, be most definetly dead.

(this is absolutely NOT going to send the vampire parent into a mental breakdown and spiral into obsession upon discovering the child they have lost and buried was literally a soulless copy of their real child who got kidnapped by faeries. a clone made out of twigs and a cat's eyes that stole their child's place and they never noticed. everything is just fine. it does not them affect them mentally at all :3)

(bonus points if the fetch was killed by the vampire parent's enemies after being entagled in their mess. they feel like they are getting a second chance and will absolutely not screw it up! cue you, poor changeling, being locked away or put under heavy surveillance.)

on the other hand, a kindred parent who currently has a living fetch of their child just being EXTREMELY distraught when they keep spotting someone who looks exactly like their kid at random places they definetly shouldn't be at is very funny and kind of unsettling!

(a vampire mom just feeding on mortals at the club, socializing with other kindred, perhaps dealing with some unresolved issues with her sire, etc. Then she spots you, her real kid, unbeknownst to her, just chilling, among all those dangerous vampires, when you're supposed to be in your dorm room at least a thousand miles from there. she calls the fetch's phone, expecting you to pick up and start explaining yourself. your fetch answers the phone, talks to her, sleep-drunk and confused as to why she's calling so late, but the person she's looking at has made no motion at all. they're not talking. they have not picked up the phone. but that's her kid's face, she's sure. what the fuck?)

for low-humanity ancillae/elder kindred, having their child back might bring about long-forgotten mortal feelings of genuine parental love, although they might express in the very unorthodox way kindred would. they simply do not understand why their child does not want to be around them. they just want to bond with you and keep you safe where kindred and fae can't get to you, make up for lost time. what do you mean they're "just like your keeeper"?

i think a lot of kindred parents will leave you be, mostly brujah or gangrel, knowing you'll be safer if they keep you away from their world. provided there was no fetch to replace you, they think it's amazing enough you were found alive and well after years of being a missing person. you don't like talking about what happened in your... "durance"... fine, they'll keep the investigators off your back, too. they might not even know you're no longer human. but they are going to check on you once in a while, or keep tabs on you, or even have some of their people watch you from a distance. just to make sure.

(just don't let them catch wind of all the changeling shenanigans or huntsmen attacks on your person. that might just change their mind...)

kindred parents might believe you're safer away from their world, yes, but they can just as easily bring you into the mess of kindred society without a second thought.

not very fun being a fairest when your toreador mother insists you show your mien to impress her fellow clan mates and other kindred with your overwhelming beauty. she's always been a pageant mom, so this shouldn't surprise you. there's several layers of wrongness to this, from having your changeling identity exposed to multiple vampires to further your mother's social status to this very situation bringing back so many unpleasant memories from your durance, and it's bound to end badly.

(the toreador pageant mom could very easily be a nosferatu pageant mom, a cleopatra now living vicariously through your fae-given beauty.)

(she will realize how terrible a mistake that was when vampires start really paying attention to you. or not. who knows.)

(gifts that could easily have come from a true fae lord start pouring in. letters written in excessive passion, bouquets of bloody roses, dresses made out of human skin, all delivered by equally dazed-looking ghouls. perhaps your mother will know, then, she fucked up severely. or maybe she'll just tell you to be grateful for those wonderful gifts.)

on another hand, a nosferatu parent taking one look at their fairest child's mien and deciding "oh. no kindred can see you like. ever. stay away from toreador specifically". you don't know what a toreador is, but you'll try to heed the advice.

your ancilla mother meets your motley and proceeds to show them baby pictures of you, taken in the 1870s shortly before your abduction to Faerie. they are very well preserved and you look most proper in your little sailor outfit.

you have a beast/ogre seeming and your gangrel parent thinks you're pretty rad :) you go hunting together.

your tzimisce dad has living furniture made out of human skin, but it's nothing you haven't seen in arcadia before. he's a little disappointed by your lack of enthusiasm, and very offended when you tell him your keeper had better taste in couches. trying to evade a tzimisce dad after he's been made aware of your existence is a difficult task, and you will get caught and held captive at one point (for your safety, of course!). if there is a fetch currently living your life, they will be immediately killed or horribly tortured (read: vicissitude) for the crime of decieving the tzimisce and impersonating you, regardless of you already having decided to leave said fetch alone.

(tzimisce dad thinks you should be thankful. he dealt with the imposter. shouldn't you be happy?)

(if he’s got cash and has some land within his domain to spare, he might let you build a little home not too far from his own to give you a semblance of independence to try and settle you down. might.)

(on the other hand, you have the chance to become a really good escape artist. take your time in captivity with your tzimisce dad to practice your escaping and running away skills, after all, every good changeling needs it! you also get the bonus of reliving your childhood/teenagehood with all the sneaking out.)

(quick intermission: all of these concepts might result in low-clarity for the changeling?? i'm not too sure how clarity damage works yet.

update: it absolutely might!)

your malkavian mother thinks she's plagued with visions of her missing child, glimpses of what they might look nowadays, wherever they are. this is actually you, visiting her in her dreams through oneiromancy.

(everyone thought, back then, that it was just a scare. you wandered into the forest and for ten hours people searched for you, only to find you safe and sound, without a scratch in your body or a speck of dirt in your shoes hours later. but she knew better. she knew that wasn't really you. it haunted her for the rest of her life, and it haunts her unlife even now. she never made it to the hedge.)

you can't take your tremere parent ANYWHERE. you give in after endless nagging and take them to a goblin market, but their arrogance will get them roped into terrible deals if you don't keep your eyes on them full time. you do take this as an opportunity to show off your changeling capabilities. you're in your element.

(you also drop life-altering bits of Faerie lore at random or inappropriate times. it sends them spiraling. you just hope they won't share it with anyone...)

darkling changeling just chilling with their nosferatu dad in the sewers, sharing rats.

and that's all for today, folks.

[thatfeelinwhenyou]

KINDRED — 35

It’s your final year of highschool, and your only goal is to graduate top of your cohort, as usual. Except as student council president, your advisor can’t seem to leave you alone. What happens when you take Decelis Academy’s top student, their star athlete and put them in front of a camera?

smau + written (2.1k words)

❥･• episode 35 — live my life on my terms

With the persistent urging from your concerned friends, who've been expressing their worry about your well-being, you decide to head home to freshen up and grab a few personal items before returning to the hospital, hopefully before Jungwon wakes up. The anticipation is filled with more dread than fear because you're well aware of what awaits you. As you leisurely stroll along the familiar sidewalk, you begin to mentally prepare yourself, rehearsing your comeback to the lines you expect your mother to say upon seeing you.

"This is not like you, what happened to my once-behaved daughter."

"Look at what that violent boy did to you."

"Your future is more important than some high school fling, Y/N."

In some ways, your mother has a point. You have indeed changed, but whether for the better or worse isn't something she should unilaterally decide. It's a pretty subjective matter if you think about it. True, you're no longer the academic prowess that effortlessly intimidated your peers.

In that process, however, you've gained the ability to express emotions, to breathe, and to savour the intricacies of life that are exclusive to your youth. It’s not fair and unjust for your mother to try and take those experiences away from you.

Arriving home, the familiar scent of the place wraps around you like a comforting embrace compared to the smell of bleach and cheap air fresheners. The house echoes with memories of a time when things were simpler, and you were the dutiful student everyone expected you to be. But now, as you unlock the door with the spare key hidden beneath the mat, you feel the weight of recent events pressing on your shoulders as you step through the threshold.

The once-familiar haven now feels like a foreign space—from the walls adorned with academic achievements to the shelves of neatly arranged trophies, you witness a past that no longer wholly defines you.

Your call for your mother echoes through the living room, where an eerie atmosphere hangs in the air. She’s not home.

Before heading back to the hospital, you take a moment to freshen up. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, you gather a few essentials into a bag, hoping to slip away without encountering your mother's potential reproach.

Not wanting to keep Jungwon waiting, you swiftly descend the stairs to gather the remainder of your items. You’re not even certain if Jungwon is even awake, yet an inexplicable desire relentlessly pulls you back to his side. The amusing twist is, he hasn't even formally asked you out, leaving you in suspense about how you'd respond if he did. Your relationship with Jungwon lacks clear labels, perhaps defined vaguely as "friends who kissed," but nothing more.

Rounding the corner into the living room, you're taken aback to find your mother seated stoically on the couch. The room seems to hold its breath, charged with the unspoken tension between you and her. Her eyes, weighed down by heavy bags, lock onto yours, unveiling a profound depth of concern and emotion.

As you stand at this unexpected crossroad, you know there is nothing you can do to avoid having this conversation with her. So, you decide to stand firm as you greet her.

“Didn’t think you’d be coming home so soon. Why? Did you finally realise what I meant? Did he leave you?” There she goes again with her assumptions.

You sigh as you bring your belongings up to your chest and say, “Actually, I came back to grab some stuff before going back to the hospital.”

“Hospital? Why would you go there?”

“Jungwon. He’s hurt.” With a smirk playing on her lips, your mother scoffs. “Well, that’s where you’d expect a kid who fights every day to end up, don’t you agree?”

“He got hurt because of me. Don’t speak on situations you don’t know about, Mother.”

Your mother's eyes narrow, and a snide remark escapes her lips, “Hurt because of you? Sounds like a troublemaker. You always did have a penchant for attracting problems.”

You take a deep breath, your patience tested. “He's not a troublemaker. He's someone I care about deeply, and he's going through a tough time right now. I don't need your judgment.”

The atmosphere in the room grows heavier, but you stand your ground, refusing to let her negativity seep into your convictions. Your mother, sensing your defiance, continues with her disparaging comments about Jungwon, questioning your choices and the people you associate with. Yet, with each hurtful word, you find the strength to assert your boundaries.

“I won't let you belittle him or undermine my decisions. Jungwon is important to me, and I won't allow anyone, even you, to tarnish that.”

Your mother, surprised by your assertiveness, falls silent for a moment. Your brazen defiance is a scene she hadn't expected to happen, ever. As she comes face-to-face with this newfound persona in you, an epiphany strikes her—you've grown up. Much like your father before, it dawns on her that you, too, are preparing to leave, not just physically but emotionally, for someone else.

“All I ever wanted was the best for you. Why can’t you see that, Y/N?” Her voice carries a mix of desperation and frustration, as if grappling with the reality that her daughter is becoming her own person, separate from the mould she had envisioned.

You meet her gaze with a level of maturity she didn't anticipate. “I appreciate that, Mom, but I need you to understand that what's best for me may not align with your expectations. Jungwon is going through a difficult time, and I want to be there for him.”

Your mother's eyes soften briefly, but the resistance is still there. “You're throwing away your future for someone who might not even be there for you in the long run. Your father did the same, and look where it got him.”

Your resolve remains unshaken. “I'm not Dad, and neither is Jungwon. I can't let fear dictate my choices. 'Don’t let anyone step on you'—isn’t that what you always reiterate?”

She sighs, a mixture of exasperation and resignation. “I just worry about you, Y/N. It's a tough world out there, and you're making it even harder for yourself.”

You take a moment, choosing your words carefully. “I appreciate your concern, Mom, but I need to live my life on my terms. I hope you can find a way to support that.”

As you utter those words, a poignant silence hangs in the air, carrying the weight of unspoken expectations and the subtle shift in the dynamics of your relationship. The room feels charged with the acknowledgment that you are no longer the girl she once shaped to fit her ideals.

The faint sound of a clock ticking highlights the passage of time, and in that moment, you’re reminded of Jungwon laying on the hospital bed, possibly waiting for you. You cast one last look at your mother, her eyes reflecting a blend of worry, bittersweet nostalgia, and a mother's unconditional love, before turning to walk out the door.

As you are about to leave, you catch sight of your phone, untouched and nestled atop the shelf for your taking. Your mother remains silent, watching as you pocket the device, likely lost in her own thoughts. The door closes behind you, marking a departure not only from the house but also from the expectations that have bound you for so long. The next chapter of your life is unfolding, and you’re determined to face it with courage and authenticity, even if it means challenging the expectations of those closest to you.

You can't help but ponder how things might be different the next time you step foot in this house, or if there will be any change at all. Perhaps, despite your earnest expressions, the essence of the house will persist, unaffected by the sentiments you shared today.

Yet, you consciously push these musings aside, acknowledging that worrying about potential outcomes serves no purpose at this moment. Instead, your attention pivots to the immediate present—your journey back to the hospital, where Jungwon patiently awaits your return

It's late morning when you stroll back into the hospital. Jungwon is already out of bed, looking way more refreshed than he did the night before, but your heart aches when you see the brusies covering his otherwise perfect features. As he catches sight of you, his eyes light up, as if the whole world suddenly brightened with your presence.

The vibe between you and Jungwon is undeniable, and it doesn't go unnoticed by the others in the room who voluntarily exits to give you two space. Well, everyone except Jay, who has to be pulled out of the ward by Sunoo, giving you a cheeky wink before closing the door.

“Hey there, I was looking for you.”

“I know.” You slide into the seat beside him on the tiny hospital bed, a space Jungwon graciously made for you. Stretching your legs out, you playfully nudge his feet with yours. You feel his gaze on you, intense and longing, as if he senses something weighing on your mind and is patiently waiting for you to open up.

“I had a chat with my mom earlier today.” He stays silent, listening attentively as you continue, “It was a much-needed conversation, but now I'm worried that I might have said some things that hurt her. I just can’t shake it off my mind.”

You look to him, seeking advice. Jungwon's eyes soften, and he reaches out to gently hold your hand. “You did what you had to do, Y/N. Your feelings matter too.”

He squeezes your hand reassuringly, offering a small, understanding smile. “If there's anything I've learned from all this, it's that you can't control how others react. You can only be true to yourself and hope they understand eventually.”

Leaning against the side of the bed, you let out a sigh. “I hope she does, Jungwon. I don't want to hurt her, but I also can't keep suppressing my own feelings.”

Jungwon nods in compassion, his thumb tracing soothing circles on the back of your hand. “Give it time, Y/N. Emotions take a while to settle. In the meantime, I'm here for you. Whatever you need, I’ve got you.” His support warms your heart, and with a grateful smile, you rest your head on his shoulder, taking comfort in his presence.

Jungwon’s words resonate as you recognise the profound truth in the realisation that changing someone's entire mindset is no quick fix—it's a gradual process that takes time and unconditional efforts.

As you contemplate these thoughts, you come to accept that, even with all the time in this world, certain aspects may remain unaltered. It's a reality that demands compromise, a delicate balance of understanding and being understood. You acknowledge the concept of mutual comprehension without the imposition of force, hoping that, in time, your mother will come to understand that too.

As your mind grapples with a flurry of thoughts, Jungwon is also caught in a whirlwind of emotions, his attention laser-focused on the spot where your head rests on his shoulder. It’s evident you’re not the only one pondering the line between you two, and contemplating the boundaries you have crossed as 'friends'.

In this quiet moment shared in the hospital room, Jungwon turns to you, and his eyes reveal a warmth that speaks volumes. The air around you changes, and he takes a deep breath, as though summoning the courage to express what's on his mind.

"Y/N," he begins, his voice soft yet resolute, "there's something I've been wanting to ask." You can already sense the direction this conversation is going, yet you decide not to hold him to any expectations just in case it doesn’t.

"I've been thinking a lot about us, about what we are," he continues, the sincerity in his voice echoing in the room. “And if what happened yesterday didn’t already make it clear to me, it is now. I like you, a lot.”

“Y/N, will you let me be your boyfriend?”

The vulnerability in his question, the openness in his eyes, tugs at something deep within you. A mixture of emotions swirls in your chest and you take a moment to savour the weight of his words and the unspoken connection that has brought you to this juncture.

The hospital room, with its muted sounds and sterile surroundings is a stark contrast to the little bubble that the two of you are in. Your heartbeat syncs with the soft hum of machinery, creating an anticipative symphony that accompanies the unfolding scene. Finally, a soft smile plays on your lips as you reply,

"And will you let me be your girlfriend, Jungwon?”

The soft kiss that ensued undoubtedly sealed the deal.

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♡。·˚˚· ·˚˚·。♡

authors note: i have nothing to say but sorry… 😔 also this chapter is dedicated to user beomsbeanie, not sure if you’ll see this but if you do, tysm! you have blessed my life too 🫶 side note: KINDRED IS ALMOST COMING TO AN END!

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[haru-dipthong]

THE JURI EPISODE (My utena fansub ep 7)

This is my favourite episode of the whole show. My phone background has been the shot of the falling sword ever since I first saw it. I love everything about it, so I really wanted to be sure I did it justice in the translation!

ただもし彼女が本当に世界を革命する力があるというなら私がこの手で奪ってやるさ。

But if Utena truly possesses the Power to Revolutionise the World, I’ll steal it from them.

BIG MOMENT! This is the first time one of the student council uses they/them for Utena. You may notice that the Japanese is 彼女, often translated as “she”. So why am I translating it as “they”?

In the fountain scene, Juri draws a parallel between Utena and Shiori. She begins to frame all of Utena’s behaviour through a lens of heterosexual lust/love, which makes her completely flip out as it makes her feel more alone than ever because (I believe) she saw a kindred spirit in Utena’s gender non-conformity, and sees that cameraderie dry up because of the phantasm of heterosexuality.

After the duel, Juri has rediscovered hope in herself and in the world. I believe part of this is because she realises she was wrong about Utena. Their duel is essentially over whether Utena is deserving of the ring, which, to Juri, is a question of whether Utena is really driven by heterosexual love. Through her loss she is forced to admit that she was wrong, that Utena is not motivated by heterosexual love for the prince, and there was and still is a cameraderie there. Using “they” is an admission that she was wrong, and an indication that she understands Utena a little more. It’s in direct contrast to the fountain scene when she calls Utena “a little girl”.

That’s my interpretation anyway. Anya’s interpretation is that Juri is distancing herself from Utena in this scene; that Juri has realised that “miracles are real, just not for me”. In this interpretation, “they” also makes sense — by gendering Utena as nonbinary, Juri reaffirms her position as the only girl in the duel system. She is attempting to process the idea that Utena is special by distancing them from womanhood (and therefore she, a woman, is doomed to live without miracles).

“Sure sure, there’s lots of narrative justification for it,” I hear you say, “but it’s simply not in the original japanese script!”

Well, actually, there’s justification for this too. 1. Utena’s use of 僕 (boku) is untranslatable — we lose that gendered meaning in translation. It needs to be added back in somewhere, and this is the place. It’s not a perfect compensation (boku is self-identifying while “they” is an external identification) but based on the narrative elements I’ve mentioned above, I think it’s acceptable. 2. Japanese rarely uses third person pronouns, and doesn’t have a gender neutral one. I think Juri uses it here because she doesn’t want to say Utena’s name (still a bit sore from the loss?) so I don’t see the gendering here as being important to keep in the translation.

-----

奇跡の力で勝てると自惚れてるがいい。

If you beat me with the power of miracles, you're entitled to your conceit. (from ohtori.nu)

If by some miracle you beat me, you can keep your shallow dreams. (my translation)

Like I said above, for Juri, this duel is about whether or not Utena is driven by heterosexual love. 自惚れる is usually translated as “to be conceited” but here, Juri is saying that she’ll allow Utena to keep pining for her lost prince with the alternative being that she will shatter Utena’s dreams. With that in mind I thought it better to phrase it in a way that extends and makes clear Juri’s resentment of Utena.

-----

奇跡を信じて。思いは届くと。

This was the hardest line in the whole episode. I went through several iterations:

Believe in a miracle, and your feelings will be returned.

If you believe in a miracle, he’ll love you back.

Just believe in miracles, and your love will be returned.

Miracles can happen. Your true love will love you back.

The phrase 思いは届く literally means “your thoughts will reach their destination”. In practice it means something like “your feelings will be understood and reciprocated”, and it was hard to find an English phrase that had a similar meaning while still sounding good as a repeatable quote. Anya’s keen eye for natural and polished dialogue really helped here, as they were able to pick the best sounding combination of first- and second-halves of the line. We ended up with

Believe in miracles, and your love will be returned.

-----

@dontbe-lasanya outdid themself again with this edit. It wouldn't be nearly as good without their help!

Be sure to follow for updates! You can find previous episodes here:

[thosewildcharms]

We talk a lot about Rick saying he knew he was in love with his son's best friend, but we need to discuss Michonne's love for, and loyalty to this man since they met. He's always been the one for her.

oh for sure, she chose him from the beginning even if she wasn't fully aware of doing so. btw, if you haven't seen it already, i would recommend this post by @glamaphonic (which is basically required reading in my opinion) for the full trajectory of michonne's feelings for rick.

while I don't necessarily think she was in love with him since day one, you're absolutely right in that it was building from the moment they met. these are the things that stick out to me but let's be real it's not a comprehensive list because she loves him so much. she loves him so so much!

the way she pretty much instantly decided the prison was safe and that she wanted to stay there because of rick. not just by understanding why he was mistrustful of her, but by seeing how he had built a legitimate family from the way he reunited with carol and thanked daryl for taking care of judith. it took her five minutes to clock him as a legitimate leader and has supported him ever since. so much so that in 7x12 she tells him, completely honestly, that he should lead all of the communities. she genuinely admires him, and thinks there is no one better or more capable than him (of course, that's not true: she is lol i'm always so ticked by how surprised she is when he asks her to lead with him in 7x12).

when she sees rick having hallucinations, instead of treating him like a wild animal that you should only approach slowly and carefully (like everyone else did) she sees herself in him and goes out of her way to make him feel better. if anything it actually makes her trust and understand him more. and she gets him to crack a joke and smile!

the fact that not only was she not angry, but told him she completely understood that he had to consider giving her up to the governor, who she *knows* is a psychopath. that SHE of all people was the one to empathize with him for having to make that choice? that is truly bonkers when you think about it. a level of loyalty and understanding and care that makes very little sense considering how they still barely knew each other then. but it ~*~must have been something else then~*~

the way she bursts into tears of joy and looks to the sky in thanks after finding carl and rick after the prison. you know she would have been glad to find anyone when she started following that trail but you could tell that those two are who she wanted to find more than anyone else. and the fact that doing so seemed to restore her faith? shut up???

after she finds rick and carl she asks him "is this home? or just a stop along the way?" she was willing to stay put and build a home with just him and carl without bothering to look for anyone else. as @glamaphonic said, she claims them right then and there. (btw i noticed that a similar conversation happened with carol and tyresse in The Grove, and also with sasha and abraham in...some later episode idk which one, but they're in an office building. i just thought it was interesting! i wonder if the carol/tyreese instance was a nod to the comics?)

rick thinks that killing a man with his throat is the worst thing he's ever done. certainly carl saw it as monstrous (as it made him think he was a monster too, for being too similar to rick) even daryl backed away from it. only michonne saw it for the heroic act it was and it made her fall in love with him. and she made him feel better too. again, she sees a kindred spirit in him as someone willing to do anything, including things most people would not do, to protect his child.

she is always ready to back him up and fight with him, as well as for him. the only time she disagrees with him is when she knows there is a better option for them, and even then she's gentle and supportive while she convinces him there's a better way (directing the group to alexandria, "i'm still with you", the fight against n*gan, the end of towl 1x04, probably more that i'm forgetting). she considers him her equal in every way, and considering how self-reliant michonne is, that says everything.

okay but seriously the EASIEST way to piss michonne off is to talk shit about rick, talk shit to rick, put your hands on rick, or even just look at rick in a way she doesn't like. she just starts yelling and/ swinging, which is hilarious because she's normally so collected.

on the other hand the only thing that makes michonne lose her shit completely and genuinely panic is if rick is legitimately in danger (the end of 6x09, the bridge)

if she thinks he's dead, she straight up just. stops. mid battle. just drops her weapon and stops. i'm almost glad we never got flashbacks to the time immediately after the bridge because it might have been too devastating to watch.

she never rejects him. even when they're at odds, she's still goes out of her way to show him she still supports him (5x16, their kiss in 7x08).

rick straight up would not have survived losing carl if he hadn't had michonne. she is so loving and patient and gentle with him even through her own grief it's incredible. she loves him SO much (and i have to point out, rick is the same for her. as devastating as carl's death is, watching them work through it together was beautiful).

she is always trying to ease his burden and be a legitimate partner to him. there are countless examples of this but the big one for me is how she considers n*gan her responsibility after season 8. rick made the call but she backed him and kept backing him even though everyone was against them, even when they both had doubts. she completely meant it when she said she wanted for them to make all of their decisions together and for once he's not completely alone as a leader.

speaking of the n*gan thing. michonne stands in maggie's way until maggie asks her what she would have done if it had been rick who had been butchered in front of her, if she could have just let that go. definitely, the answer was no. just like rick couldn't have if it had been michonne.

(because she can't live without him anymore than he can live without her).

she was flipping over dead walkers for months after the bridge and did not move on for over 6 years because she could *feel* he was still alive despite all evidence to the contrary and also simply because there was no one else she wanted. it's him or no one. just as it's her or no one for him. you can actually see her flinch a little toward the end of her kiss with ezekiel.

wearing his clothes and wrapping them around herself like a hug when she really really missed him

talking to him long after he was gone

setting off to find him on foot over nothing more than a hint that he was alive

all of the ones who live. like, that would honestly need its own post but do we even need it? that show dialed this love story up to like a twenty. she spent an entire episode saving him from himself. almost died trying to find him in the first place. jumped his ass out of a helicopter. her faith in him and them saves the entire world.

truly, her response to his proposal/vows is spot on: "it could only ever have been you." it was always him, it was only ever going to be him. it's him, or it's no one.

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers: 1x04 - An Affair of Honor (Part 2)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Picking up where we left off, where Penelope spent her evening watching Marina dance around with Colin. Fun times, I'm sure.

Sisters

You know, I do not know how, at the minimum, Penelope's feelings weren't ever found out. She's trying to stay very calm and held in while Marina lists attributes about Colin that she's very well aware of already. He is kind and funny - that is why Penelope loves him. She does know he can dance well, she's been dancing with him, too, when she's not watching from the sidelines. And, while I have no idea - really - when Marina would have seen him with Gregory and Hyacinth, Penelope most definitely has. And she knows. She definitely knows.

As upset as she is, she's also a bit irritated. Because up until then, Colin has almost been her little secret. Sure, there have been flirtations before, but nothing ever serious. And the startling thing is now Marina sees him for the wonderful option that he is. And that stings. And is annoying at the same time.

The thing about this is that Marina is over the moon overjoyed to have found Colin. But there's a difference between Pen and Marina's feelings. I don't actually doubt that Marina is fond of Colin in this moment. That she thinks he's a pretty cool person. That he's a person she doesn't mind spending time with and maybe someday she could grow into loving him. But that isn't what matters to her in this moment. It's the fact that he's the perfect match for her situation that has excited.

And Penelope knows that, which does make it extra hard for her. Yes - there is a bit of selfishness in the fact that she is deeply in love with Colin, and she doesn't want him taken away. But she also really does care for Colin as a person, and does not want him tied to Marina under false pretenses. And thus she begins to push back.

It was important to set up Marina and Penelope as allies at first -- to show that they each found a kindred spirit in each other. Because it shows the complexity of this no-win situation. Penelope does care about Marina -- because she does care about Marina, she doesn't go to her easiest tool first -- Lady Whistledown. But it is a pivot in their relationship. And Marina doesn't seem to notice it.

Pen pushes that Colin's too young (and I think Colin is around 20 at this point?). But Marina says something really key -- that despite him being young, Colin is set on making a connection and settling down. He isn't like the rest of the guys his age who are spending their time flirting and screwing around with many girls, many of them hating the idea of marriage and being tied down. Colin is an idealistic romantic -- he wants marriage and a family and once he's got that idea in his head, he'll stick with it no matter what. Marina gets that about him.

So does Penelope, honestly, but she had always wished and hoped that maybe he'd figure it out over her. Which again, makes all of this feel like a knife to the heart.

Marina also understands his hero complex. She states outright -- did you see the way he rescued me tonight? And it'll tie in later when he admits to her -- had she come to him in the first place about the situation, he would have helped her anyway. From this point forward, Marina is going to begin to manipulate the situation in her own favor. She understands Colin well, and his own youth, naivete, and romanticism is going to be used against him.

And this is where Marina is so lost in her own fantasies of saving herself from a terrible marriage to Rutledge or some other old man or being thrown out onto the street. Her plans of having a good life are coming together and she wants Penelope to be with her on this.

Penelope feigns tiredness and climbs into bed, wanting to get away from the situation. Marina has got to know something deeper with Penelope is going on -- though how Pen's actions don't completely clue her in here, because Pen can't keep her emotions in check, is kind of funny. But Marina continues to try -- attempting to placate Pen with the idea that she and her, along with Eloise, would be sisters. It's an idea that makes the reality of Colin slipping away to her all the more real -- and all the more painful. Getting Eloise as a sister through Marina's marriage would be gut wrenching when she would be near Colin all the time and never truly be able to have him. It's a mockery of something she would like -- Eloise as a sister.

Penelope winces when she says 'imagine that' to Marina's insistence of being sisters. It's truly the worst outcome imaginable.

The minute Marina leaves, Pen straight up has a panic attack. She gets out of bed and paces around, torn between having a full on crying breakdown, while mulling it over what things she could possibly do. It's an a heart wrenching moment, for sure.

Of course, she isn't going to have that much time to process (which is key) because Eloise is throwing rocks at the window, wanting her to come down.

I have to wonder -- how many times did Pen or Eloise sneak out of their houses to go visit the other one? I feel like as children it is something they would do -- maybe meet in secret after dark. There is such a comfort and ease between the two of them, when I would think -- it'd be a bit scandalous for anyone to be meeting in the middle of the night.

Anyway... Eloise is excited that her detective work on Lady Whistledown seems to be working, and she's got new leads. Pen has humored her about the LW business up to this point, and even starts out this scene humoring her here, but while when there weren't other things weighing her down, she could take a little satisfaction of Eloise's fruitless hunt, she isn't in the mood.

As Eloise goes on about LW, Penelope grows impatient. Not helping is how Eloise describes LW -- as a woman of means, as an elderly widow who is able to do what she wants in society unincumbered. How LW has freedom and yet is able to stay invisible to society. And this pushes Pen to lash out.

Eloise is taken aback, because Eloise is the type of person to ramble on and sometimes gets so self involved she doesn't always notice what's going on with those around her. She has no clue what's going on with Pen, and was under the impression that she'd be with her on this discovery, so it's shocking -- not only that her often doormat of a friend is speaking out and cutting her off, but invalidating her interests.

Penelope throws it out that some 'silly' writer's identity isn't important. Part of it is self protection. Part of it is the fact that playing detective and playing such games does feel childish. We're reminded that Pen was pushed out into society and is being forced into that world -- a world that Eloise is not yet in nor ever desires to be. And this is really the rift that keeps coming between them.

The crux of this scene is that Pen's being forced to grow up -- forced to reconcile the reality of her life and all her dreams and fantasies with what the real world actually has in store for her. Eloise does call her out on her claims of maturity. No, Pen isn't being the most mature -- when she can't keep her emotions in check, can't keep herself from a venting tantrum or holding her back from hurling hurtful insults.

But Pen is coming to terms with adulthood.

The last bit of this argument is difficult to watch, because it's Penelope at her lowest and most scathing. Something Eloise probably doesn't see very often -- if ever.

Pen has probably held on to a lot of these deep rooted feelings for a long time. Eloise can go on and on about not wanting or needing marriage, but Penelope seeks it. For a multitude of complex reasons. Yes, a big part of it is her romantic nature -- that she loves love and love stories and marriage seems like romantic happily ever after she's always desired. But also, marriage is a form of validation -- that someone wants her. And Penelope has spent a lot of time being ignored and when she isn't, she's being ridiculed. The idea that there'd be someone to actually push against that thought, against her own inner demons of self worth, has always been a foundation of her fantasies.

The line Pen throws at Eloise about how not everyone can be a pretty Bridgerton is said out of jealousy. Something she thinks Eloise takes for granted -- even though it's a thing Eloise has pushed back against, wanting to be taken more seriously than what she looks like. In a way, it's a perfect dig at Eloise, and Pen knows it. It's a line thrown out in anger and frustration of her own situation -- if she was prettier maybe she wouldn't be in this situation, maybe she would receive love, and it's not really about Eloise at all. Of course she instantly regrets it as Eloise runs off.

And I'm glad they let Pen have these moments of ugliness. It makes her character more complex, more human, more identifiable. We all lash out, we all say things we don't fully mean, we all end up hurting people we care about. Pen and Eloise always bounce back, but there are differences between them that sometimes test their friendship.

This whole sequence is a really wonderfully done part of Pen's arc.

The Duel

This might be one of my favorite Season 1 Colin moments... The show does a pretty good job of layering in some humor even when the show is going to push in heavy with the drama.

I love that Colin is helping his mother return home safely. I'm amused that Violet is kind of trashed in the first place, tbh. But Colin is the one who will make sure everyone will get home safely. And I love the teasing nature of it -- and that Violet knows her son well enough that she can call him out on it.

But, the best part of this scene is really Anthony and Benedict hiding away in the other room. They're discussing duels and honor and Benedict taking over and it's all very serious stuff. But the minute they see Colin, it's like they're all children again as Anthony and Benedict rope Colin in. Colin's line :

Good god, did someone die?

Always has me laughing. But it's also so telling of the nature of the ABC brothers. You know that this isn't the first time that Anthony and Benedict have been up to something and have pulled in Colin, most likely, against his will. Colin's had a nice evening with a girl he likes and now his brothers are being dramatic, as they always are. I love it. And I love that Colin is always the one to bring humor to the situation.

Just as an aside, I kind of like this little, cozy study area. This is Anthony's study, I believe? And it's different than the one in Season 3. How many rooms does this place have, exactly?

Anyway, Colin and Daphne don't really get screen time together -- being in two different plot lines and all, but it's a shame they didn't explore this dynamic a little more (something you can't do when you only have 8 episodes in your TV season), especially when they're close in age, and probably did a lot of their growing up together.

So, it's fascinating that Colin is attempting to be the voice of logic and reason. He so often does not care to adhere to any of society's rules -- just that night, he danced around the room with Marina in a fanciful way that was uncontained and not following the rules of dance that society has laid out, but honor and respectability are important to him.

To Colin - Simon has dishonored Daphne, and to make it right, he'll come to his senses and marry her. That is the proper thing to do. And when Daphne pushes back against that idea (because she does know better) Colin claims that they'll both do the "gentlemanly" thing and fire wide. Because that's how you're supposed to deal with these things. With logic and not emotion.

And again, I find it such a fascinating take take that Colin believes that this is how everything will play out -- that his brother and Simon will just go through the motions of this drama and not be pushed by emotion. That their honor will win out.

Of course, Daphne does know better. She understands that emotion wins over logic -- and it's something Colin will someday understand, too. But in this moment, interestingly, it's honor and logic that gets Colin to fold. Daphne mentions that Cressida did see Daphne in the garden, and if Cressida says anything, their whole family will be ruined.

And Colin can't have that.

So he helps Daphne -- as a way to save her, save his idiot brother, save Simon, and save all of them. Colin will always try to do what he thinks the right thing is -- whether it work or not, he'll always try.

The whole duel sequence is really well done - the suspense building as Daphne and Colin ride their horses to intervene. It's visually captivating and the tension is brought so high.

The drama of it all!

But I think, watching this back from a post-Season 3 perspective (and as someone who prefers Colin to Simon) there's such an interesting contrast here.

And it's been hard to put into words - I've been thinking on it for a good twenty minutes now, and not quite coming up with the best way to put it.

Honor is a key thing to this time period and this society, and Simon understands that as well as Colin does. But when it comes to matters of the heart, they deviate considerably. Simon would rather die protecting the honor of his word to his father, than to admit he has feelings for Daphne. Colin, meanwhile, would die if he was unable to express the feelings of his heart. There's more honor in being true to oneself.

Simon is the expectation of society. He is stoic and distant and guarded. He plays the roles society expects him to play. And is protective of his affections in a way that's deemed acceptable. Eventually -- Colin's bleeding heart will get stomped on and he'll try to be a Simon, only to realize that he isn't that kind of person, and never will be.

Alright then -- half way through Season 1! :)

[sylus-wife]

sylus really has me wondering if he even has a heart in his chest at all? I mean, with his current form, there is some dialogue that suggests that there is something beating in there — maybe it's some sort of fake heart that was put there (this may be a stretch)?

my doubts about him having a real heart stems from two things — 1) the knowledge that his current form isn't his real form and 2) the fact that he didn't die from being shot in the heart and can regenerate from his injuries when it is night time and has made multiple allusions to not being able to die. the dialogue above suggests that maybe he does have a heart in there, but then there are also these lines that he says??

he's just so ominous 😭 (third pic is from where you touch directly where his heart is/should be)

the first two lines he says here could be interpreted as him meaning that he's never been scared or excited before, but I can't find myself agreeing with it due to his tone of voice. I think he wouldve came off as more arrogant like a "heh, I wonder what THAT feels like 😼" with cockiness in his tone, instead of the "I wonder what that feels like... 😮‍💨" with a visible longing in his voice

his heart being a fake/imitation would also explain why his heartbeats are so irregular and high, as it would not function how a real heart normally does, as well as the fact that he still breathes perfectly fine after being shot directly in the heart (which then begs the question of how he even breathes, or if he even needs oxygen to begin with)

and then there's this line?? I'm probably over thinking it, but this line could either mean 1) a more likely conclusion of the plants being unable to produce oxygen due to the environmental conditons of the N109 zone (which it is true that plants arent able to thrive in the N109 zone as told in sylus' myth), or 2) they are unable to produce oxygen around him due to sylus not being able to produce any carbon dioxide when he exhales, as that is something produced by humans and animals which would ultimately exclude him

some could argue that sylus does have a real heart inside him and that in this scene he just regenerated his heart wound, but I just can't agree because his regeneration speed would have to be LIGHTNING fast to recover from being shot in the heart, and from what we've seen from this scene and when his cheek was nicked by MC with the knife, there's a visible delay between how long the injury lingers and the recovery + he also purposefully lowers the gun from where MC intended to shoot him in the head to where his heart is, which THEN makes me wonder if he can die from being shot in the head and through his brain.. and then it also makes me wonder what would happen if he was shot in the heart while under the sun?? would he die instantly or would he just recover extremely slowly?? sigh, this man is just so complicated

this isn't even including the amount of times that sylus just straight up says that he's heartless man,,

I also think that sylus longs to have a real heart, as it is hinted at in the 2nd image that I show here, as well as the fact that he probably doesn't view himself as someone capable of human emotion since he does not qualify as a human, and wants to feel in the way that humans do, plus he most likely views himself as a heartless monster (excluding but as well as in a literal sense) and therefore he believes that he is lacking something to be sensitive, even tho he is already a sensitive person and does not realise it 🥺

this bit is also a stretch, but what if his "real heart" lies in MC? we know that sylus has referred to us and him as "being the same", and that we are "two kindred spirits", and that they both have aether cores implanted in them

sylus also suggests that we have some sort of debt that we have to pay him and that we owe him our life, which could mean that we owe him our own/his heart?

but if our heart does belong to him, how did we even end up with it to begin with? and does this mean we have to die for him eventually? or if he has to take MC's life like how MC took his (though I dont actually know if he died during that scene as he is still capable of grabbing MC's hand in his as theyre holding the sword in his chest, but he either couldve died shortly after and was possibly reborn or he was temporarily subdued by the sword)? maybe the reason sylus is unable to die is beacuse we have his heart?

I didn't really think that last part through all that much, but hopefully there will be some more clues/hints down the line that suggest to something similar to what I'm trying to say

in conclusion I have no idea what's going on with this man dude

[hannahlikeso741]

One Song to my Desires (HL Boys reactions towards their desire for Female MC.)

Well I had a dry spell of writing, so I'm going to fix that. Going through my playlist and I decided to write some drabbles for the HL boys based on each song, surrounding the theme of desire towards Female MC. Borrowing @hogwartslegacyreactions format again.

Sebastian Sallow :

He isn't the subtle type, Sebastian knows what he wants. Her.

She had him from the beginning they locked eyes at Professor Hecat's class, which set off a chain reaction of adventures together. She is just in sync with him, knowing his next moves be it in dueling or his thinking process. Everyone may know her as the hero of Hogwarts or the new 5th year, but not to Sebastian.

No one knows her like he does.

He knows the little things about her, he has been paying attention when she isn't looking. She has little tells that Sebastian predicts her response almost accurately, then it slowly grows into him having tunnel focus on her alone. He will admit he is greedy, he wants more from her. No not want, need.

He needs to taste her skin and lips, he needs his hands to explore her body, for his whole being comes alive with her mere presence. It makes him growl in jealousy that other suitors would even dare come for her. He needed to be her one and only.

Afterall, that hunger inside him for her is getting insatiable.

Ominis Gaunt:

They didn't have the best first impressions towards each other, but Ominis slowly grew fond of her presence. She didn't shun him away, and since the events of their 5th year he could use the friendship.

Something Ominis had started to notice was how his heart raced at her voice saying a mere hello to him. It was a sudden rush that he felt in his veins, that never happened before. Slowly, he noticed his body responding to everything about her. Her scent, her voice, her touch... Oh how her touch haunted him so. He just only wanted to carry on in this world in his own terms, but why is it he find himself wanting to simply be by her side? His own body betrays him with a yearning for her to hold him, to be tangled into her arms, to let his tongue taste the heat of her skin, to hear her voice saying she was his.

Deny it all he wants. But his body speaks and listens to her.

Garreth Weasley:

She is playful, up to no good. The whole package. Garreth was surprised to find someone that understands and supports his love of mischief. It was almost likened to a kindred spirit that he doesn't find in his other friends.

Garreth finds himself spending an awful lot of time with her, laughing at her jokes, giving big ideas that she willingly contributes and humours him about. They are sync, but he wants more from her. More than friends.

He just merely wants to be by her side, giving his all to her. It is killing him to wonder if she will reciprocate his feelings. Garreth finds himself thinking of her even in class or a study session, his mind worries for her. Could she not see how much he wants to woo her, putting all his love for her? Every little touch she gives makes him want to tell her that he wants them to be real and every smile she gave him would make him want to claim her lips for his own to take.

It would be his idea of a heaven with her, proving how much of a lover he could be.

Amit Thakkar:

He isn't the type to confront, but Amit knows he came dangerously close with her.

Sure she had to protect him plenty of times when he gets too frightened or be it her reassuring him that things are fine even when it wasn't. But he was more than just a Gobbledegook speaker, astrologer wannabe or a scared duelist. He wanted to prove that to her, for he was so tired of her having to continuously protect him.

It was frustrating, he wanted to show to her that he is more than what she thinks of him to be. Give him a chance, and Amit will show her who really was in charge. All he just asks for in return was respect, for she had captivated him so. She had a wild, untamed beauty that ignited a flame in him. He respected her for the qualities she had that he doesn't, but all he asks is for her to look at things his way. To understand him, for Amit understands she will never be tamed and he frankly, likes that about her.

Just give him a reason to stay, and Amit knows he will.

Leander Prewett:

There is no one quite like her. She is the whole package that Leander knows is out of his league. She wouldn't look his way. Why would she? The hero of Hogwarts, beating him in everything Leander thought he was good at the minute she landed. Leander can't catch up to her. Maybe that is how she captivated him. How much she was in tune and control with that power she wielded. As if she knew how to be a leader. Something Leander wishes he could be, but he admired that sort of qualities in others. It was so wicked of her to creep into his dreams at night, to have his heart wrenched in her hand and she had no clue on the power she had over him. He didn't want to admit he was falling for her, it was just a game his feelings playing on him as he imagined himself wanting to be at her side, to worship her and adore her. Pride be damned, he would bare his soul wide open as an offering for her. It is a beautifully wicked game his heart was playing, and he let himself get caught in it's web.

Everett Clopton:

When did she captivated him? Could it be that glint in her eye as she raced him alongside that broom course? Or was it that wink she gave when she said the sights of their detour was worth it? Everett can't name a moment when, but since then she crept into his mind. Everett begins to notice little things at first but it graduates slowly towards her spirit. How she captivates him so when she gets reckless, throwing caution to the wind quite literately. A daredevil that has nothing to lose, . He begins to wonder if she behaves like that toward her lover. Would she enjoy experimenting with the possibility of being caught? He let those thoughts haunt him in his dreams as he begins to be aware of the rising heat inside him that he needs to quieten with the image of her, her voice reaching unholy notes that would make an angel blush. Everett wanted... more. He wants her to make him go further, to take him to his limit until he begs for mercy. She is the only one that could make him submit to his lust fully, satisfy that hunger deep within like an adrenaline rush of a broom race. For now, dreams will do to satisfy his burning desire.

[girl-next-door-writes]

Broken Hearts

Characters: George Weasley x reader

Summary: George Weasley has been in love with you for four years, not that he could tell you that because he is fairly sure you’re in love with Charlie. Sometimes the world forces truths to be told for fear of losing them forever, and some truths should have been spoken sooner.

Word Count: 2333 words

A/N: The wonderful @imaginemyfavoritefics was one of my reblog draw winners and as their prize requested some fluffy George Weasley, so here you are. I am so sorry it has taken me so long, but I hope you enjoy.

At the tender age of sixteen, George Weasley fell in love. Totally, completely, heart and soul in love. Not that he knew what this feeling was when it first hit him, no, that would take him a while to figure out, although he was never certain that what he felt that first time he saw you was love, because surely love is deep and that needs more than simply seeing you, right? Although, and this theory came much later from his little sister, maybe kindred spirits recognize each other immediately and that is where the deeper connection lay.

It was a bright day despite the slight chill in the air, the beginning of the Easter holidays looked promising with talk of a little quidditch as those gathered at The Burrow chatted over breakfast. The sound of the front door opening and a familiar voice calling ‘hello’, had Molly jumping to her feet, hands clapping as she rushed to greet her second eldest.

“Charlie! I wasn’t expecting you until- oh my goodness! Hello dear, it is so lovely to finally meet you!”

His mother’s words piqued George’s interest and he exchanged a look with Fred before they both snuck to take a look. That’s when it happened, when George’s life went from a world before seeing you to a world in which he was painfully aware of your existence.

As you pulled back from his mother’s tight hug, a shaft of sunlight from the window fell upon your hair, creating a halo effect. He could have sworn his heart stopped entirely for a moment when you smiled, your face lighting up with such joy that he felt a pang of jealousy at not being the reason for it. George wanted you to smile at him like that, though he had no idea why, and then his mother had turned, guiding you towards the kitchen, towards him.

“Fred, George, why are you two always under my feet?” Molly asked in exasperation, causing you to giggle. Your eyes met George’s and he felt his cheeks heat in the warmth of your attention. He was so flustered that he didn’t even manage to say hello before you were ushered past him and seated at the kitchen table.

“Hope you two have been keeping out of trouble.” Charlie grinned at his younger brothers, and suddenly George realised something bloody obvious; you were here with Charlie.

Over the next few years, you were a frequent visitor to The Burrow, Charlie’s plus one to many events, although it was never entirely clear to people what that really meant. You had an apprenticeship working closely with the older Weasley, a great honor most people would kill for, and the two of you were clearly close. Molly already had the pair of you married off in her head, although Arthur felt the relationship was more like siblings, no romance.

George found himself looking forward to the holidays more and more, each one giving him the chance to spend some time with you. When you had given him your address and told him to write, he could have burst with excitement. Of course, you then extended the same offer to Fred which took the shine off it a little, but you had given it him first, and that was what he clung to.

It was a cold November evening at the end of Half Term that George’s fragile hopes were well and truly crushed. He had found himself sitting with you on a blanket as you watched the firework display, he and Fred had put together. A certain amount of fire whiskey had been consumed, which is possibly why he was able to speak in full sentences despite your arm touching his.

“You Weasley boys are so clever.” You hummed, eyes watching the bursts of colour in the sky above.

“Maybe you should tell some of my professors that.” He joked, stealing a glance at you as he preened at your compliment.

“Ah, don’t pay any attention to them. You and Fred will be just fine out in the big bad world. So, Fred and Angelina? He seems to be very happy, but what about you? When are we gonna hear about you asking someone out?”

George froze up a little at that. How could he possibly say that there was only one person he wanted in that way, and that you were that person, but he didn’t have to say anything as you continued on.

“You know, you shouldn’t wait for too long. That’s how you get stuck in this weird limbo where you end up with the object of your affection calling you ‘mate’ and not seeing you as a romantic option in the slightest.” Your eyes had now fallen on Charlie who was laughing and joking with Bill. As if sensing your gaze, he looked over and waved.

“Get over here, mate! You’ve gotta hear this!” Charlie called and you nodded, slowly getting to your feet and giving George a soft, sad smile.

“Whoever they are, they will be damned lucky to have you, just remember that.”

As he watched you walk over to Charlie, watched his big brother lazily wrap an arm around your shoulder and pull you against his side, George felt his heart completely shatter. Here he was pining for someone who was clearly in love with his big brother, life just was not fair.

Tugging at the bandage around his head once more, George put on a brave smile to hide just how self-conscious he felt. He busied himself with helping put up the marquee, following orders issued by his mother, avoiding actually socializing with people. He was happy for Bill, and they definitely needed a party to focus on in these dark times, but he wasn’t ready for the sympathetic looks he would be getting all day, especially not from you.

“There you are Georgie-boy.” Charlie grinned as he wandered over and patted his brother on the shoulder. “Mum told me to come give you a hand with glasses or something. Not sure what that woman is thinking giving you and me this job, may as well ask Ron while she’s at it.”

“Yeah.” George smiled, not that it quite reached his eyes. “We’d best not break too many of them.”

“You know who would be great at this?”

“Charlie Weasley, I can’t believe you have been volunteering my services!” Your voice cut through the air, the underlying amusement in your tone not lost on your best friend. As you came into sight, George felt his heart pick up speed, his tongue seeming to expand in his mouth while also drying out. You looked gorgeous, and he didn’t have the words to do you justice.

“I was just talking about you, mate! Come on, give us a hand.”

“Or maybe you could show me and George how it’s done, since you are ‘so good’ at all this.” You teased, moving to stand in front of George. Your hands came up and he swallowed thickly as your fingers adjusted his tie. “There you go. So handsome. Hey, Charlie, why can’t you look as good in a suit as you little brother?” You smirked, barely dodging Charlie’s attempt to swat your arm.

“I knew I should have brought Madeline to this.”

“You do realise I would have been attending this wedding anyway, right? Your mum would have sent me my own invite, or I could have been George’s plus one.”

“So, I’m basically saving my little brother from having to spend the entire day with you, I deserve something for that sacrifice.”

“I’ll make you a badge or something.”

“Who’s Madeline?” George finally managed to speak, he got out two whole words without his voice cracking.

“Oh, she’s the unfortunate soul who has agreed to date your brother. I mean, someone had to take that bullet.” You shrugged, a teasing smile on your face and not a hint of sadness or jealousy.

“Right, that’s it, no more plus one’s for you.” Charlie playfully scowled, heading into the tent to get to the actual task of sorting out the glass wear.

“I’ll just be George’s plus one then,” you called after him as you headed inside too, “at least until he gets himself fixed up, then I’ll just get your mum to adopt me.”

Shoving his hands in his pockets, George trailed after you, smiling to himself at the thought of you being his plus one indefinitely.

The world had got so dark, everything felt heavy, and any joy had been sucked from life. George stood in the kitchen of the safehouse, staring into his mug, trying not to think about what the morning would bring. Hogwarts had always been a safe place for him, for so many people, and knowing they were on the precipice of the most important battle was terrifying. Not that he could admit that, he had to be brave, right? He couldn’t show weakness.

“Sorry we’re late.” He heard Charlie’s voice and his head shot up, even as Bill was quietly reassuring him that it was okay, he was here now.

“I’ll go put the kettle on, can’t see anyone getting much sleep tonight.” You said before walking into the kitchen, a warm smile lighting up your face as you saw George. “Hey there, handsome. You want a brew or you good?”

“I could do with a top up, this one’s a bit cold.” He admitted, feeling guilty at how happy your presence made him. He should have been praying you weren’t coming, that you wouldn’t be put in danger, but right now he realised he needed to see you, needed a reminder of what it was they were all fighting for.

“How you holding up?” You asked softly, not intending for your conversation to be overheard.

“I’m okay.”

“Liar.” You smirked, and George found himself chuckling.

“I’m shitting myself. You?”

“Yeah, pretty much trying not to think about it because I think it scares the crap outta me. We’ll be okay though. We’ve got each others backs, and we can do this.” Your hand ran over his bicep, and he felt his breath stutter.

“You’re bloody brilliant, you know that.”

“Well, my tea making skills are legendary.” You joked.

“No. I mean it. I need you to know that I think you’re amazing. You’re so smart and brave and funny and gorgeous. You make everything feel better, just by being there. I should have told you years ago, should have been telling you every time I saw you, but there’s a very real possibility that I’m not gonna get the chance after tomorrow, so, I need you to know.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but Charlie and Bill bustled into the room and whatever your response would have been was lost in the chatter. More and more people crowded into the kitchen and even though George never had a chance to steal a moment away with you, he was happy knowing he had finally told you how he felt.

Dust from all the rubble hung in the air, making it thick and clawing with each breath. George had made his way to the Great Hall, relieved to see so many of his friends and family still standing. He pulled Fred into a hug, silently thanking every god he could think of that they had made it through. His relief was short lived though as his eyes scanned the assembled crowd and he failed to find you.

Breaking away from his brother, he frantically began searching, not wanting to look at the fallen, laid out on one side of the hall, he did not want to see you in that number. Charlie stumbled into the room, a lazy half smile on his lips as he wiped away some blood from his face. Once his mother had finally released him from her embrace, George had asked where you were, and Charlie had to admit he didn’t know, he’d lost track of you somewhere near the astronomy tower.

George’s heart was beating so loud that it was all he could hear, throbbing in his ear as he tried his best to keep calm. His hands shook as a myriad of emotions crossed his face, he was about to enlist Fred’s help to go search for you when he saw Charlie’s face light up. Turning to follow his brothers gaze, he saw you helping some Hogwarts pupils into the room, clearly in need of a little medical attention.

You looked up and smiled as soon as you saw Charlie, your eyes then searching for his little brother. Once your eyes locked with George’s, you began to walk towards him, your steps getting quicker until they were a full on run. Heading straight past Charlie, you threw your arms around George and held him so tight he thought he might pass out.

“Hey, love, you’re gonna have to let go a little so I can breathe.” He joked softly, smiling as you pulled back a little and looked up at him.

“It’s not my fault, I love you. You are the one who started it.”

George felt his knees give way. Had you just said that you love him? His hands came up to cup your face, his eyes searching yours for any indication that he had misheard. When he found none, he closed the gap between the two of you and kissed you like his life depended on it.

“Finally!” Fred declared, “All it took was a war and possible imminent death.”

“He got there eventually.” Charlie smirked, placing his arm around Fred’s shoulder and pulling him away.

“Four years! I’ve had four years of him going on and on and on…”

Fred’s grumblings went on unheeded by the two of you. George was just so happy that his broken heart was now whole, and he had every intention on making sure you would be his plus one for the rest of his life.

[sloanesallow]

True or False

Written for the Pride event in the HL Discord server. Sebastian x Ominis SWF though these two got real flirty real fast | just under 1k words [read on Ao3] | [read on wattpad] | [tumblr masterpost]

It’s quiet—too quiet.

Silence is usually what Ominis prefers, especially when he is trying to sleep. But tonight he is restless, tossing and turning beneath the silken sheets until he throws them off his body in frustration. He rolls onto his back, hands resting on his chest as he resigns to counting blob-shaped objects in his mind.

One.

Two.

Th—

Ominis clenches his jaw in annoyance as the dormitory door creaks open. He knows it’s Sebastian immediately, recognizing the shuffle of his feet and murmuring curses when he bumps into the edge of a desk.

“Oh,” Sebastian laughs, realizing his attempts to be sneaky are in vain. “You’re awake.”

“No thanks to you,” Ominis grumbles. Against his better judgment, he asks, “Where were  you?”

“Around.”

Sebastian’s tone hints at something devious, but then again, when is he not up to something illicit? This is hardly the first time he’s returned to the dungeons well after curfew, but recently there’s a curious levity to his mood. The rumors Ominis overhears indicate Sebastian has been spending a lot of time with the new fifth-year, doing Merlin-knows-what.

“Feldcroft,” Sebastian adds after a moment. “Anne says hello.”

Ominis sighs, not bothering to point out the obvious lie. He settles against the pillow again and shuts his eyes, hoping that Sebastian is exhausted enough from his gallivanting to sleep, for once. But then the mattress dips as Sebastian plops himself down, invading the space and all of Ominis’ senses.

“You know what we haven’t played in a while?” he muses, mirthful as ever. “True or False.”

Ominis pinches the bridge of his nose as he feels the beginnings of a headache take form. “We aren’t children anymore, Sebastian.”

His pout is nearly audible. “Come on, Ominis. Indulge me!”

“I always indulge you.”

Sebastian huffs a laugh, sidling himself closer so their socked feet are touching. “We both know that’s not true.”

Ominis is tempted to shove his so-called friend from the bed, too tired to deal with Sebastian’s brand of humor. The proposed game never made any sense anyway, feeling more like an interrogation than actual fun. It was better to placate though, than risk putting Sebastian into a dour mood with rejection.

“Fine,” Ominis relents.

“Ha! I knew you couldn’t resist,” Sebastian says before humming in thought. “True or false: you’ve been paying Weasley to help you with your potions assignments!”

“I thought that was obvious,” Ominis replies, not bothering to act ashamed of the arrangement with the Gryffindor. “That was too easy, Sebastian.”  

“Well, if I asked something more tantalizing, you’d yell at me!”

“I do not yell at you.”

“You do,” Sebastian snickered, nudging Ominis with his elbow. “Not to fret, I happen to enjoy it. Though I’m hurt you wouldn’t come to me for help.”

Ominis clears his throat, not having a reasonable explanation for his actions. Sebastian is his best friend but is also incredibly busy with his own courses, all while caring for Anne. Not to mention whatever bond is fast-forming between him and the new girl.

“True or false,” Ominis starts, attempting to catch Sebastian off guard. “You weren’t actually in Feldcroft tonight, you were with whatsername.”

Sebastian nervously laughs. “How’d you know?”

“I always know,” Ominis replies. He thinks about the few brief encounters he’s had with Hufflepuff’s latest. “You reek of mallowsweet.”

“I do?” Sebastian unceremoniously sniffs himself. “You say it like it’s a bad thing. Don’t tell me you’re jealous.” 

Ominis cannot hide the heat that floods his cheeks. “Absolutely not.”

Sebastian chuckles.

There’s always been something unspoken between them, a boundary that has never been breached, but Sebastian loves to toe the line. Anne says the two are kindred spirits that squabble like an old married couple. Ominis tries not to think about their dynamic too often, fearful of giving it any more credence than it deserves. He isn’t jealous, or possessive, he just misses his only friend.

“True or false,” Sebastian begins. “Do you still like Anne?”

“Not in the way you think,” Ominis frowns. He admits there was some boyhood infatuation when they first met, but her wild personality makes Sebastian look like a saint. Out of the Sallow twins, Ominis has his preference. “I’d rather you not play matchmaker, Sebastian.”

“Who says I’m playing matchmaker?”

“True or false,” Ominis says, hopeful Sebastian is growing bored with the back and forth. “You once had a dream in which you snogged Professor Hecat, and it was so vivid you couldn’t attend Defense Against the Dark Arts for weeks!”

“Did not!” Sebastian scoffs, jostling Ominis as he flops onto his back in exasperation. “You’ve had your fair share of naughty dreams, too, and don’t try to deny it. I’ve heard you in the middle of the night, murmuring in your sleep. I wonder who you’ve been fantasizing about.”

“That’s none of your business,” Ominis responds, flustered.

Sebastian rolls onto his side, crowding Ominis again. “Isn’t it?”

Ominis tenses and sucks in a breath. He is used to Sebastian’s proclivity for physical touch, except in moments like these where it threatens to turn intimate.

“True or false,” the timbre of Sebastian’s voice only adds to the tension. “You’ve been dreaming about me.”

Ominis slowly exhales and decides he won’t be swept away so easily. “True or false? When you’re with her, you’re wishing it was me.”

“I knew you were jealous,” Sebastian laughs, his breath fanning across Ominis’ face, closer than he’s ever dared to be before. But he doesn’t answer either. “True or false?” Their lips graze as Sebastian speaks and Ominis has already decided how the rest of the evening will unravel. “You want me to kiss you.”

“Truth.” 

[pointrudiment]

Theories On Other Tai and Van Dynamic…

We know that Tai and Other Tai compartmentalize memories and information and also that Other Tai acts as a dissociative outlet for Tai when necessary.

I think Tai seems so capable of moving forward and succeeding because she often feels so separate from her memories (often memories are being relayed to her) above them even (this contributes to and inspires disbanding relationships with those who survived the wilderness including Van).

Van is the only emotional component in Tai’s psyche that is shared with Other Tai. After the wolf attack, Other Tai accepts Van’s presence and encourages it. Ironically, Tai shows little respect for Van’s belief in her counterpart while Other Tai exhibits full respect for Van’s dedication to it. This is definitely a recipe for disaster because in her denial, Tai cannot even allow Van to love her. And it’s devastating to her adult life because she’s only willing to accept love that maintains her denial.

I think that even before the first scene in the adult timeline of season 1, Other Tai knows about Van’s cancer (yes, I know that Van was not intended to be a surviving character at that point, but I’m working with the narrative as a whole now whether or not this was the intent of the creators, so go with me).

The information was given to Tai by Jessica Roberts. Tai dissociates the information as she does with all of her triggers, but this one prompts Other Tai to remerge because Van is their only source of connection to one another shattering Tai’s tight control (along this same vein, I do think that when Other Tai remerges in the wilderness after season 2, it has something to do with Van’s safety).

Other Tai tells Sammy about Van (the red head by a heart in his drawings which he has drawn smiling, healthy, and bright in stark contrast to the frowning, exed-out, dark images). This gives us an intimate portrait of how Other Tai sees Van and that Other Tai will stop at nothing to keep Van as Sammy drew her. These drawings could also be Other Tai’s plans to get to Van.

Sammy begins to exhibit some potential, “Other Sammy”, behaviors. This wouldn’t be surprising considering Tai’s first encounter with, The Man With No Eyes, was at her grandmothers deathbed at a similar age. Sammy’s introduction to this other entity is also at the potential of a deathbed, so to speak (van). It is almost being presented here as a physical manifestation of generational trauma passed on at the coming of a time of death. This is more evidence to the depth of the connectedness between Other Tai and Van.

Tai can refuse to acknowledge this, but Other Tai is quick to share as she recognizes Sammy as kindred. Mutilating his toy and framing him for painting on the door were actions that were almost sibling-like in nature which denotes inherent fondness. This is why Other Tai manipulated a scenario in order to hurt Simone that did not actually involve Sammy. Sammy and Van are now both tied up in Tai and Other Tai’s battle for control over her consciousness because they are both loved by each personality.

Other Tai sacrifices the family dog in order to give Van more time while she finds a way to get to her. I also think that Van has known that Tai would eventually seek her out again when Other Tai remerged. It’s why the visit was tense and fraught but not completely a surprise.

Despite Van’s opposition to any of Tai’s attempts at connecting what’s happening with Other Tai to Van, she keeps Tai around; brushing it off each time Tai says that she shouldn’t have come. Van still believes in the significance of Other Tai.

Even though she has long given up on Tai herself, she is still holding on to Other Tai as the anchor to what once was or could be. As messed up and violent as Other Tai can be, Other Tai wanted, accepted, and let Van in without condition.

The ritual continued at Lottie’s compound because I think Other Tai told Van it needed to (or more likely Van concluded that was Other Tai’s intention from the beginning) and Van said what she had to, to Tai in order to make it happen or in the least to open up the possibility of it. Van knows that Other Tai and Lottie both commune with the same entity and probably didn’t think it was a coincidence they were in that situation. I don’t think it had anything to do with a desire for violence directly, but more a desire to be a part of something bigger than herself especially already being on the brink of death. And also a desire to let happen what happens; to be able to release control one last time of the internal chaos that has had the reigns over her life. Over all their lives. Van didn’t trust expressing this to Tai.

Anyways, moving forward…I don’t think Other Tai is done sabotaging the life Tai built in spite of her especially if Tai attempts to pick up some of the pieces. She will have to tread carefully and I think she will know that she can’t move through it without Van. But Van will not be an easy sell. Van will remind Tai that Tai specifically moved forward without her. There will be such an angsty dynamic with trust and grief here because it took Tai over 20 years to learn what Van knew all along and tried to tell her from the get go and she was stubborn at the expense of everyone she claimed to love. I’m not sure Van will fully trust Tai especially if/when Other Tai is dormant. She will think it is a ploy of Tai’s. And I think Tai will continue to be weary of Van’s propensity to trust Other Tai but not her. She will think it is a ploy of Van’s.