#but i feel like no matter what i do I'll always just feel like people are looking at me like im from the uncanny valley
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
luesmainblog · 3 days ago
Text
i hope it's okay to add my thoughts as well, as this is something i think about a lot as a System(multiple people in one body, which the majority of people see as inherently a delusion) and a Kinnie (essentially "i was this character in a past life". again, most people consider that delusional).
it does not matter how stupid or obviously fake the delusion sounds to you, and it is not your responsibility to bring someone back to reality. in many cases, that can actually be worse for them, not better. what matters is, are they Functioning? do they need help from you in this moment to function? if they are distressed, how do you alleviate the distress? you do have to pick your battles carefully when it comes to delusions. it's relatively easy to show somebody, based on evidence, that they are not turning into a werewolf. it can be much harder to convince them they aren't poisoned, especially if there is no food left to test and no rational reason why they would be. but you know what you CAN do? put a bunch of black food dye in a drink, give it to them and tell them it's activated charcoal and that'll disrupt anything they've ingested. hell, if they're not currently on any oral medication, you can give them the real thing. yes, it's treating the delusion as Real, but it's also performing a harmless action to make them feel safe again. "monster spray" type shit. one that people in other mental health circles may be familiar with is the delusion that you are an evil, horrible person who just poisons everything around you and is better off dead. this one is often hard for people to deal with, because it can come from a number of different places, each with their own approach needed. of course for a normal highschooler you can usually just ask them if they've done [terrible thing someone real did] and when they say no you can declare that CLEARLY they can't be the worst person in the world, then. sometimes it comes from intrusive thoughts that a lot of people are uncomfortable talking about; convincing someone they're not terrible just because they fantasize about fucked up shit is largely an excercise in teaching them that actions are what actually matters, which many people inherently disagree with due to their upbringing. but i honestly think the hardest one has to be people who've ACTUALLY done something wrong - or, at the very least, people who are convinced they did in a past life or another dimension. because with them, you have to focus on moving forward as a better person and living with the guilt, and that one can either be a lot to ask, or it can be extremely frustrating because you don't personally believe this guy was actually dracula, so why is he so worked up about killing people who were not real? sorry, big wall of text; my point is, there are some delusions where if you want to address them and help, you need to be prepared to be uncomfortable and possibly even grapple with some genuinely hard questions. or, you can try and find a way to distract them from their thoughts. it won't always be possible to reality check someone, and you need to be okay with that if you're going to be close with a delusional person.
and i've said this before, but i'll say it again: who cares if the lady at ihop thinks she's cleopatra stuck in the present. what does it matter? let cleopatra work at ihop, it's not your business. if it's not hurting you, and she's managing the stress of time travel just fine, leave it be.
also, i feel like this should go without saying, but one of the worst ways to make someone's distress even worse is to accuse them of faking their mental health issue. seriously, the amount of times i have seen somebody have an anxiety freakout like OP describes and be told "you just want attention, you know damn well there's nothing wrong with the food, sit down" is genuinely heartbreaking. if that's ever happened to you, from the bottom of my heart, i am offering you a full serving of your favorite food.
I want to add to the post I just reblogged about delusions and how to help people with them, but op was specifically schizophrenic, and the last time I tried to share a related story on a post like that, a different OP got extremely angry that I didn't have an identical disorder to them and accused me of derailing, so I'm making a new post.
I have severe anxiety. The things you can believe when you are going through an acute anxiety attack or panic attack can be so extreme they can be classified as delusions. I've been convinced I poisoned myself, I've been convinced I had rabies, I've been convinced a building was going to burn down, I've been convinced my blood was full of bug eggs that were going to hatch and kill me.
Doctors and family members who have helped me the most were people who took those fears seriously, who examined me no matter how irrational my fear was, and who told me why, based on what they observed, my fears were unlikely to be true.
Instead of "you can't possibly have rabies", it was "the dog is vaccinated, so it can't have rabies, and the skin where it nipped you is not broken."
Instead of "Of course your blood isn't full of bug eggs" it was "bug eggs would have hatched by now" which was so coldly logical it completely snapped me out of my panic.
Instead of "I'm sure you didn't poison yourself", the doctor looked at the bug spray and the ingredients and listened to how I used it and said "based on your exposure, you haven't been poisoned".
4K notes · View notes
cl-0v3r · 2 days ago
Text
Mel is alive, but at what cost
Mel was nearly killed TWICE, her mother began being a struggle, she'd been thrown aside and trying her best to stop her, her boyfriend is not doing well, neither is anyone else (can't blame them) and the fact that she hadn't cried or spoke much about this situation to anyone a single time?? She IS upset about every single thing, yet she stays strong and enduring every bit of torture. The most she did was tell Jayce that Ambessa put her palm on the table, and let him know that she is going to push for hextech. That's it, nothing remotely related to her feelings.
The fact that she was constantly looking at Caitlyn, being able to understand her grief and knew she was in pain?? Mel knows this feeling. She'd went through it.
And in the end SHE has to pay the price of her mothers incompetence.
The intro is very much foreshadowing, we know the hands represent black rose/LeBlanc.
Tumblr media
This is what happens in act one, she gets kidnapped by them. The lyrics do correspond to the characters as well (not just Mel, everyone.)
"Tell you you're the greatest" plays as a petal of the black rose floats down the screen, I think it adds significance to the power this organization holds, possibly the Medardas greatest foe.
"But once you turn, they hate us" both Ambessa and Mel were present in this line, I think its foreshadowing for when Ambessa switches up for whatever reason and goes against both Piltover AND Zaun. And Mel WILL go through change as well, a change that could hurt her relationship with others, and receive interest from others too.
"They hate us" could be read individually too, I feel like its a sort of "realization" ?? Perhaps Ambessa WASN'T the one that switched up, maybe Piltover switched up on them, and maybe Mel JUST got out of wherever she's taken to, and saw the mess Ambessa had done to her city??
Tumblr media
I think this represents ACT TWO.
The hands pull away and it sort of looks like Mel is fighting back, a "get away from me" type of scream. you know what this reminds me of??
Tumblr media
Don't mind me just pushing my Jinx/powder-Mel parallel agenda
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Here is when i think Mel truly learns about LeBlanc/BR, she curiously and slowly goes to grab the rose, she learns about the history between her Mother and them, Kinos death, and most of all, learns about HERSELF. The lyrics speak otherwise.
"Pray away, I swear
I'll never be a saint, no way"
This feels like a parallel to caitlyn of sorts if that makes sense. Caitlyn had done everything to try and stop the council from attacking the Undercity, she kept her mouth shut when Jayce asked about Jinxs grenade, she was willing to protect Vi and the undercity, but how many times has she been tossed around? She'd been burned, exploded, kidnapped (god knows what happened during that time) and hit in the face by the same person, her MOTHER died because of the same person. She has every right to go insane. And she is hunting ONE person, which is Jinx. Although she is harming the people around her along the way.
What if Mel goes through a similar situation? Her mother pushed for war in her city, she dragged the enemy along with her even if she didn't mean to, she manipulated everyone around her INCLUDING Jayce, she LITERALLY got Mel hurt from the chembarons attack and killed so many people during a MEMORIAL to get her hextech weapons, Elora is most likely DEAD, not to mention whatever happened in the past between them. And the thing is, this will NEVER end throughout the entire season.
And what if she learns what she is? That she's 'blessed' by Kindred? The fact that the wolf is quite literally in her blood?
I feel like the "ill never be a saint, no way" also sort of indicates Mel will realize she'll never be able to push for peace and mercy like she always hoped for no matter what, and she comes to accept that as much as it hurts. But not like how ambessa accepted the wolf, but she sort of realizes she needs to push a little violence, towards nobody but the one and only, Ambessa "fine, if you want me to be like you, I guess I'll be like you towards YOU." Type of acceptance.
I think its also related to Mels new outfit too, she's dressed like her mother, in red and all of that. I will still stand by the idea that she has plans to decieve, but she will do something she doesn't want to do.
Mel was left with no choice, that lyric sounds like realization, acceptance, but also like a plea at the same time, an "I'll never be who I wanted to be" because in the end, she's still a Medarda, she's still her mothers daughter, she still has violence in her veins, she will never not suffer from the weight her name holds, and she will never escape it either, its like a shadow.
The Characters won't be themselves at their core this season. And those vital parts of their characters that represent them are no longer there in the intro, they all have given up what makes them, THEM design wise. (e.g.) Vi without her tattoo, Viktor hiding his identity with the mask. And the thing is, they did that to themselves because they do self-harm, they're changing themselves because THEY want to, they're forcing themselves to do that, they think they're undeserving and they're erasing their past selves.
But Mel? Mel doesn't have her gold accessories, Jewelry, or her Armor, she'd been stripped bare and hidden away because of the brutality of her name. She pays the price her mother brought to HER city. She's forced to change herself against her will, because nobody is giving her a chance to push for her ideals.
This entire theory never ends, and with all of this? I kinda do see Mel actually committing Matricide, it lifts the "Ambessa will die" theory further.
254 notes · View notes
intimidatingpuffinstudios · 16 hours ago
Note
What would be the RO's little everyday acts or ways in which they'd show their love and appreciation for MC? I mean, there's the big acts, but relationships are really made and nurtured by the little everyday things in which someone shows their interest in the relationship and the other person
Well, there are obviously LOTS of things they'd all do, so I'll list one for every RO to keep things manageable~
Morkai: would always check if the MC has eaten and keep food and drink at standby. Like cooking breakfast, making a sandwich, things like that. Will fuss about the MC not dressing warmly enough or taking on too much work or not eating enough vegetables.
Straasa: is always checking in with the MC about how they're feeling. Overwhelmed, stressed, did you take a break today? How did you sleep? What can I do to help? Will keep on top of the MC's physical health, making herbal remedies specifically for them.
Daelynn: Well, Daelynn always wants to be around the MC, so she has their back through everything. Doctor's appointments, hard talks with other people, helping the MC do something they're scared to do--she is there for them.
Eledwen: makes sure that the MC's environment is safe and stress-free. Clean home, steady meals, enough sleep. When the MC talks, she listens and makes them feel seen and accepted.
Manerkol: ALWAYS makes it a priority to spend time with the MC every day, just the two of them, no matter what else is happening. The MC always comes first, and Manerkol always shows up.
Rai: is always bringing the MC little gifts that made them think of the MC and thinks up amazing ideas to take the MC on dates every week. They like to show off their MC to anyone who will listen and will praise them nonstop.
Sielthan: keeps finding ways into mischief and always makes sure to drag the MC along for the ride. Basically, they get the MC into trouble but are always there to pull them out. They lament that things are not fun if the MC is not with them.
Cy: oof, this is a difficult one XD What does Cy NOT do? Well, they love picking out the MC's clothes and dolling them up and spoiling them with endless gifts, big and small. Daily massage is also a given. If the MC mentions they want smth/would like to do something--even in passing--Cy will see it done.
Zach: loves to connect with the MC in quiet, understated ways. Reading together, being in the sane room while each does their own thing. Zach is always trying to get the MC alone with them and will joke they're going into withdrawal if they don't get their MC fix.
63 notes · View notes
mvmnbnv · 2 days ago
Note
Am i blind for not seeing how Caitlyn manipulated Vi? I keep seeing this take and I don’t understand it. She hurt Vi in an inexcusable manner, both physically and emotionally by making classist implications in her anger…
But manipulation? If Caitlyn wanted to manipulate/ guilt-trip Vi into joining the enforcers or killing Jinx all she had to do was say “I had the shot” to Vi instead of her father. But she didn’t bring up the dinner at all or oil & water for that matter. In fact not only did she not blame Vi (initially) or guilt-trip her; Caitlyn blamed herself: “My arrogance led me to take on more than i could handle and she paid the price”. That’s something someone like Vi who always blames herself and takes responsibility for everything really needed to hear so i was happy with it.
I think Caitlyn’s intentions were genuinely good throughout the first episode, both regarding Vi & the undercity but she still had the same flaws from season 1: thinking the enforcers are the ‘good guys’ here and there are just a few bad apples among them (i bet she probs thinks the ones who killed Vi’s parents were just bad apples lol) ; approaching some matters in an insensitive, entitled manner (springing the badge on Vi instead of having a conversation with her first about the reasons why she thinks it’s the best recourse… well at least she apologized for that ig)
I already feel like they pushed Caitvi in a terrible direction that’s hard to come back from in a satisfying way… i think if people willfully misinterpret ALL of Cait’s actions in the worst possible light you guys really won’t be happy w the ending bc there’s a point a relationship really can’t come back from in a healthy way. I doubt even now if it can…
I haven't used the word manipulative just yet because it's a pretty touchy thing with a specific meaning, but apparently you can be manipulative without knowing. She plays on vis emotions a lot, telling her wearing a badge is how she can show that she doesn't support jinx, which just isn't true. She doesn't need to wear one to show that. I'm not gonna blatantly say it's outright manipulative but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth nonetheless. And just blatantly enlisting vi after she explicitly said no and explained her trauma around enforcers is just...bleh. maybe distasteful more than manipulative but regardless it's just icky.
And yeah a lot of people think they're doing right but are actually just awful..."interpreting her actions in the worst possible light". How else am I supposed to interpret what she's done? She undid a ventilation system that gave the undercity clean air, she enlists vi after she said no, saying its easy to hate zaunites, is ready to get jinx even at the cost of a childs life, ffs she hits vi and leaves her there, it's bad, some of it downright corrupt. Apologizing to vi for springing the badge on her doesn't negate her bigoted attitude toward her and the entire undercity, it's not vis job to prove anything to her, especially if it ultimately means letting anyone get hurt at the cost of getting jinx. She sees vi as her possible example of what people of the undercity could be, and even that's fucked up, because once vi doesn't do things the way she wants she thinks she's "no different" than jinx or any other zaunite. I don't think they could have a healthy relationship with all this. I don't even want vi around her after all that tbh. I know it's gonna happen tho so I'll just see what they decide to do
30 notes · View notes
starchaseriseverything · 2 days ago
Text
You can’t hold me here, Mother!”
“I am your mother, Regina!” Walburga yells back. “You will listen to me!”
“I can leave any time I want!” Regina yells. “Sirius and Andromeda did! So why can’t I!?”
“You have no one to go to, Regina.” Walburga walks up to her. “Absolutely no one. No one cares about you. Not even I.”
“Fuck you, Mother . I hate you.” She sneers. “I will always hate you. I’m leaving and you can’t stop me.”
Walburga smacks her daughter’s cheek. “I can and will.” Regina holds her cheek and runs up the stairs. She slams her door and locks it so her mother can’t get in. She flops down on her bed and stares at the letter sitting on the desk. She hasn’t read it yet, but she knows if she wants closer, she’ll have to. She stands up and sits down in the chair, gently grabbing the letter and slowly opening it. The first word she reads is, Regulus. Regina takes a shaky inhale and starts reading the whole letter.
Regulus, you can get away. You can run from that house. I did and I made it. You can, too. Andy and Uncle Alphard made it. It’s time for you to get out of there, too, Reggie. And I know mother still calls you by your deadname. That’s not right, Reg. You have been going by Regulus since you were twelve and it’s time you get away from people who still call you Regina. I know James would love to see or even hear about you living your best life, even if it’s not with him.
Either way, just tell me what you’re feeling. If you don’t want to run, that’s fine. You still have me to talk to. But if you do run, Effie and Monty have a room for you and your friends are waiting here for you, too. They wait by the door or even sleep in your room sometimes waiting for you, and even if they don’t admit it, they miss you and want you out of that house just like they got out of theirs. I know they’d be happy if you just ran and didn’t stop running until you decided to call someplace home, even if that wasn’t with them. So, just, please, get out of there and live your best life whether that’s with us or without us, it doesn’t matter, just get out of there.
Love, your brother, Sirius
Regina smiles at the letter and stands up and grabs a suitcase from her closet and starts shoving clothes in it. Which is weird because she’s a neat freak and hates when things are all messy, especially when people just throw stuff, but her brother is right, it’s time she gets out of that house and away from her parents. So, instead of weeping in her room all day, she decided to get out of there, forever.
She runs down the stairs with her suitcase in hand and just runs, runs right out the door and doesn’t stop until she finds someplace hidden. She then pulls out her wand and apparates where she’s been many times, The Potter residence.
She smiles at the door before ringing the doorbell and putting her wand away. An older lady answers the door. “Hello. I don’t think we were expecting anyone today.” She backs up. “Come. Come in.” She then walks to the steps and yells, “Kids! Were you expecting anyone today!?”
“No, Mum!” A boy yells back and Regina closes her eyes, recognizing it immediately, James’s voice.
The older woman hums and turns back to her. “Well, then, what is your name?”
“Regi- Regulus. Regulus Black.”
The woman gasps. “Oh my. Should I call Sirius down? Or Barty? Or any of your other friends?”
Regulus shakes his head. “No. I think I'll surprise them.” Regulus sets his suitcase down by the door. “Just a quick question.”
Effie stops and turns around. “What is it dear?”
“How many of my friends are here? Living here?”
Effie hums and starts counting on her fingers. “Well, there’s Lily, Dorcas, Barty, Pandora, Evan, Sirius, Remus, Emma, Aurora, and my son, James.”
“Why do you let everyone live here?”
“Because it’s the nice thing to do and that’s just how my parents taught me.” Effie chuckles a little. “Well, not this nice, but that’s just how I am and how I raised James to be. Some people don’t have good homes like James does, so they need someplace to live or even stay for a few days and that’s what I give them. A place to stay or one to live. Most choose to live but some, like Peter and Alice and Frank, they choose to stay for the summer or a few days because they have nice homes and would miss their family too much. It’s just what this family does, sweetheart, and I hope you get to be a part of that.”
Regulus smiles. “I hope so too.”
“So, I need to make another bedroom?”
Regulus nods. “Yeah, I’m living.”
***
“My sweet,” Regulus says, lovingly. “We are not having another child.”
“But-”
“Three is enough.”
James sighs and flops down in the chair behind him. “I think we should.” He mumbles.
“No.” Regulus replies, sternly.
“Why can’t we-”
“It’s not your body, now is it?”
James’s face falls and he leans his head on his hand. “You know-”
“No, James.”
“Fine!” James groans. “I won’t put another baby inside you.”
“Good.”
“Guess that means we can never do the fun stuff again.”
Regulus’s head whips up from his book. “What?” James looks to the other side of him. “James,”
“What?” He asks, turning his head back to him. “What is it, love?” Regulus opens his mouth but closes it again. He doesn’t even know what to say to that. James sighs and stands up to stretch. “Well, better get to bed.”
“James, It’s ten.”
“So?”
“AM.”
“So?”
“It’s still morning.”
“So?”
“You just woke up.”
“So?”
“You are not going to bed, James.”
“Are you bossing me around?”
Regulus nods and goes back to his book. “Yep.”
“You said I can't do that.”
“That’s you.”
“So, it’s different when you do it?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“It just is.”
James hums and walks towards his husband. “Really?” Regulus hears the change in his voice and gulps. Regulus nods back, not being able to get anything out. James takes Regulus’s book and sets it on the stand beside him. When Regulus doesn’t look up, James guides his head up to his. “How is it different?” He whispers.
Regulus gulps again. “It just is.”
James hums and nods. “Yeah?”
Regulus nods. “Yeah.”
“Papa! Daddy!” Euphemia screams, running towards them. James straightens up quickly and looks over to their daughter.
“What, dulce chica?”
“Can we go to the park?” The black-haired girl asks, jumping up and down in excitement.
James looks over to Regulus, he shrugs in return. James looks back to the girl. “Of course. Go tell your brother and sister to get ready.” Mia smiles and runs off, yelling for her siblings. James chuckles and turns back to Regulus. “We can’t ever have any peace, can we?”
Regulus shakes his head at his husband. James leans down and kisses his lips before walking down the hallway to make sure they’re ready in time.
***
Regulus laughs as both him and James lift up their daughter that’s in between them and she squeals. Leo’s walking beside Regulus and holding his other hand while their oldest daughter is walking beside James. Regulus looks in front of them to a woman approaching them. Regulus inhales a breath when he realizes who it is. Walburga.
She glares at the two before looking at the three kids next to them. She bends down in front of the girl in between them and smiles. “Hi.” She says as James tries to hold their daughter back but she just pulls his hand to make him stop. She’s still holding onto her fathers hand when Walburga speaks again. “What’s your name?”
“Euphemia. But Papa and Daddy call me Mia.”
She smiles at the young girl. “Hello, Mia.” She turns to the young boy by Regulus’s side after glaring at the man holding onto his hand still. “What’s your name?”
“Leo.” He mumbles softly.
“Hi, Leo.” Finally, she glares at James then turns to the red-haired girl beside him. “What’s your name?”
Rose holds up her hand in front of her father and he takes it, putting their entwined hands beside them. “Papa said not to talk to strangers.” Rose mumbles.
“But I’m not a stranger.” The older woman says. “Your parents aren’t doing anything to tear you away, are they?” Rose shakes her head. “So, what’s your name?”
“Rose.”
“Nice to meet you, Rose. I’m Walburga, but you can call me Wally.”
“Wally?” Euphemia asks, giggling.
Walburga smiles at the girl.
“Isn’t Wally who grandma always talks about?” Rose asks, looking up to her father. James looks down at her.
“I wouldn’t know. Your grandma doesn’t talk to me about stuff like that.” She looks over to her dad this time. Regulus doesn’t answer, still in shock. Rose turns back to the lady as Mia and Leo laugh. She made them laugh. Regulus thinks. She made my kids laugh.
Regulus snaps out of his daze. “Come on, let’s go to the park.”
“But, I wanna stay.” Leo whines.
“Let’s go see Aunt Lily and Aunt Pandora, then.”
“Eclipse and Luna?” Mia asks, looking up to her dad.
Regulus nods. “And Harry, Lillian, and Lewis.”
Euphemia jumps up and down and pulls her fathers down the sidewalk past Regulus’s mother. Regulus looks back to her as they pass. She smiles at him and turns around to walk away. Regulus turns his head back in front of him. She smiled? What kind of sick bitch smiles?
-
Walburga kept a straight face throughout the whole funeral for her husband. She didn’t cry once because ‘Black’s don’t cry’, at least that’s what her mother always said. So, she hasn’t cried since she was seven. She didn’t want to get crucio’d again. She didn’t even cry when she married Orion, her cousin, when she wanted to marry someone else. They were even talking about their future together when her mother brought up her engagement. Her engagement that was set from the time she was born. The one where she couldn’t get out of it even if she tried. And oh did she try, but her mother always brought her back, time and time again every time.
Euphemia was the love of her life and she couldn’t ever marry her. Ever. So, instead of telling her about the engagement that was set before she was born, she decided to just break it off. And it wasn’t the best way to go about it, either. They had a horrible fight over something she can’t even remember now. Probably something stupid, maybe something important. Walburga couldn’t remember even if she tried.
A few months after their break up in Hogwarts, she was dating a Gryffindor. A Gryffindor that's nice and generous, unlike her, he’s perfect for her. She’s kind and generous and so much more. He doesn’t deserve her and neither did she. After Hogwarts walburga got an invitation to a wedding, one called ‘The Potter Wedding’. Walburga rolls her eyes at the ridiculous name. (Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous) Potter always was like that, one for stupid things. But I guess there’s two Potter’s now. She thinks.
Walburga was surprised by the invitation, not because Effie remembered her, but because she wanted her there. Walburga sighs and slouches in the arm chair, dropping the invitation on the floor as she pulls her hand to her forehead and holds up her head with it.
She can’t go. She never could. She can’t be associated with a blood-traitor, but Salzar does she wish she could. She wishes she cried then, but she didn’t not for years after that. The first time she cried since seven was when Sirius left. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to accept her daughter as the heir, it was because she wishes her daughter went with her son. To get away from this family even though she couldn’t. She was happy one child didn’t turn out like her and she knows her children talked about not turning into her.
She wishes she could’ve stayed with her promise. The one where she promised her brothers to not turn out like their parents, but instead, she did, and so did her youngest brother. The middle brother, though, he got out just like her niece and son. That was the first night she cried over her brother, her niece, her son, and her daughter all in one go.
The second time Walburga cried was when Regina left right after their argument. Their argument that was supposed to be a simple conversation in which Walburga subtly nudged her to leave the house, but turned into a full-blown argument. At least she left. Walburga thought.
So, when Walburga was walking in the park one day and sees someone who looks exactly like her daughter, she realizes her daughter isn’t her daughter, they’re her son. Walburga smiles and about walks away to cry, but sees the smile on her son's face as he lifts up a girl with another man. The little girl laughs and gets set back on the ground. Her son is holding a little boy’s hand and the other man is trying to get the other girl to hold his other hand.
She decides to walk up to them, but doesn’t show her smile. She’s gotten good at that over the years, having to hide her excitement and discomfort. She couldn’t when she was with Effie, though. She always brought out the emotions in her. All of them.
She glares at the two men, not wanting to show them she actually cares and squats down in front of the girl and smiles. “Hi.” She says. “What’s your name?”
“Euphemia. But Papa and Daddy call me Mia.”
Named after her grandmother. Walburga thinks. She smiles again at the young girl. “Hello, Mia.” She turns to the young boy by Regulus’s side after glaring at the man holding onto his hand still. “What’s your name?”
“Leo.” He mumbles softly.
“Hi, Leo.” Finally, she glares at the other man, not wanting to reveal she cares, then turns to the red-haired girl beside him. “What’s your name?”
The red-haired girl reaches her hand up to her fathers to hold hands. He does and puts them at their sides. “Papa said not to talk to strangers.” Rose mumbles.
“But I’m not a stranger.” She is, but her son isn’t doing anything. “Your parents aren’t doing anything to tear you away, are they?” Rose shakes her head. “So, what’s your name?”
“Rose.”
“Nice to meet you, Rose. I’m Walburga, but you can call me Wally.”
“Wally?” Euphemia asks, giggling.
Walburga smiles at the girl.
“Isn’t Wally who grandma always talks about?” Rose asks, looking up to her father. Walburga looks up also. The man looks down at her.
“I wouldn’t know. Your grandma doesn’t talk to me about stuff like that.”
“Mia, Leo.” Their heads go over to her and away from the other conversation. “Why did the scarecrow win an award?” She asks.
“Why?” Leo asks.
“Because he was outstanding in his field.” The two kids laugh at the joke that their grandmother taught her and it’s stayed in her head ever since sixth year.
“Come on, let’s go to the park.” Walburga's son says. Walburga nods and stands up, understanding that he’s trying to get his kids away from her.
“But, I wanna stay.” Leo whines.
“Let’s go see Aunt Lily and Aunt Pandora, then.”
“Eclipse and Luna?” Mia asks, looking up to her dad.
He nods. “And Harry, Lillian, and Lewis.”
Euphemia jumps up and down and pulls her fathers down the sidewalk past her. Walburga sees them walking away and then her son's head turns to her. She smiles at him, hoping he gets the message that she still cares no matter what. She then walks away, not wanting to disturb them anymore than she already has.
She closes her eyes as she leans against her front door, slides down, and sobs on the floor.
25 notes · View notes
royalarchivist · 8 months ago
Text
[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
Tumblr media
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
252 notes · View notes
Text
The fans: Ugh Sonic was just so preachy. I mean obviously he's supposed to be the good guy, so any uncomfortableness I feel here and any way I feel like Sonic's choices are framed as being why some other people have shitty lives is just bad writing because he is obviously supposed to be right always, but this characterization makes no sense. Isn't he right for the things he did?
Ian Flynn, using Kitsunami to say the (barely even at this point) quiet part even louder: Hey it's almost like ever since the Mr. Tinker event we've been purposely running with the critique of Sonic as being more selfish than he appears. Sonic is upholding a system of Eggman v Sonic that currently benefits him and shuts down talk of how to improve the current system because he likes his own personal enjoyment and he's attached enough to Eggman that he'd rather Eggman pretend to be a good person than be stuck in prison for life. He doesn't even quite practice what he preaches. We are trying to show that the current hero v villain system and Sonic's recklessness currently affects some people poorly and that Sonic isn't a perfect hero.
#fandom wank#sonic the hedgehog#idw sonic comics#idw sonic 2024 annual#2024 sonic annual spoilers#idw somic comic spoilers#idw sonic spoilers#idw 2024 sonic annual spoilers#i just be ramblin#god one of these days I need to commit to the sonic character essay#because you HAVE to be able to see Sonic as a multifaceted character that is surprisingly selfish and a bit self centered despite his image#as a good hero who is always right to understand what the writers for Sonic Prime and Idw Sonic are trying to do#The point is not that Sonic is secretly a bad guy or anything#the point is that we're already primed to assume that anything Sonic does is a good thing because he's a hero and protagonist of what is#considered a 'children's media'#And people who can see those moments in different games or properties times where Sonic isn't being so good as him actually not being so#good of a person are primed to explain it away as flaws of the writing or the genre at that time *because* Sonic's behavior is not said to#be bad or punished in those games#And become we're already primed to assume that Sonic is already the good guy who's making the best choices no matter what‚ it's supposed to#be shocking when the narrative takes a step back and gives a critique of this status quo by showing us the effects of it#But instead of having some sort of eye opening event or being willing to meet the narrative where it's at#99% of the people who post here got uncomfortable and just doubled down‚ saying that because these things are being pointed out and some of#Sonic's actions (that aren't even alien to the games)#are being framed in a not so good light‚ then it must not be purposeful. That it must be bad writing through and through and just bad#Sonic characterization#because for people who claim they want Sonic as a series to be deeper and more thought out they sure start to pearl clutch when they feel#like a property isn't being as shallow as the very same games they think kinda suck#anyways anyways sorry about the rant I'll get back to regularly scheduled posting after this#vent post
92 notes · View notes
skunkes · 5 months ago
Text
if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
46 notes · View notes
lilacerull0 · 19 days ago
Text
i feel like reading/watching mbf immediately means knowing who i am as a person and... i cannot allow this
#you all know that i can't stand gatekeeping and how that's why i bring up what i like all the time in various contexts#but the surprising thing with mbf for me is that i can't talk about it as freely to people who don't know me#because i can't find a way to translate it without having to offer some crucial segment of myself#i enjoy sharing ideas and thoughts more than anything else but i don't like sharing me the person behind them#because i really cherish my individuality as something important in spite of where it takes me sometimes#i don't want to tarnish it!!!! i don't want even the smallest piece of it to be missing because i wouldn't know what to do anymore#i'll stick to typing out thoughts here and to my mom and to my med textbooks#but i must say it feels strangely refreshing to have something that is only my own this way because i always have to put myself out there#and this way i am not giving anyone the opportunity to twist it into something terrible about me#my spontaneous outbursts might ruin this for me though#letters from stephanie*#i dislike that i can't step outside of my own experiences with this like i usually do because art should be shared#this is suchhh a crazy person post#i think i finally get what my dad means when we fight about how i shouldn't say everything i think all the time#he doesn't want me to filter myself he wants me to preserve who i am from harm because stepping up sometimes won't help#who i'm trying to help but it will ruin me in some way even if it just makes me upset#i think that's how he manages to be calm without betraying himself?#he isn't lying he's just saying what he thinks when it matters and to those that matter#like most of the time i am right to single myself out but there is a particular shade of grey when i shouldn't do it#idk this is literally donna telling the dr YOU CAN STOP NOW.#realistically i just need someone to calm me down when my passions turn against me#overly personal post once again i am sooo sorryyyy look away
9 notes · View notes
suniside-crossing · 5 days ago
Text
.
6 notes · View notes
soonhoonsol · 1 year ago
Text
you guys ever get tired of friends who only talk about themselves? how do you respectfully tell them off?
21 notes · View notes
mint-corset · 7 months ago
Text
Genuinely asking, because I'm so conflicted on this emotion.
Is it normal to be a little pissed that someone hears something bad happen in the house (Like a loud noise of something breaking) and they call out "Are you okay" and proceed to not check on you. Like at all. No follow up.
And in my defense I really didn't respond because after the thing snapped and broke my brain had to catch up to anything that followed, and by the time I realized what happened I also realized "Oh wow thanks I guess I'm glad nothing worse happened and I'm not hurt or anything"
Like am I little irritated? Yes. Very much so. But I'm also not going to make it a problem. I'm just sorta silently sitting here wondering if maybe I'm just a neurotic bastard.
10 notes · View notes
medicinemane · 2 months ago
Text
Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them
Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening
It's all I really ask
#I forgot what this was about part way through writing about it; but then I remembered it's about Ukraine#like I just need to know that you actually understand what's happening there and what people are going through#you want me to care about your thing? show me you have any any any grasp of what's going on in Ukraine#it's uh... it's too many friends where if I'm just honest... this is about them#people I adore but people where... I don't know if they ever even once listen to what I have to say#...though maybe it's better this way... at least if they just ignore me I can say they just don't understand what's going on#that they're just being fed lines by other people or don't care#...if... they... knew the shit Ukrainians go through and still didn't care... would be a lot harder to respect them#would take a certain level of callous to do that and... these are people I care about very much so#...but I don't know; eats at me... you know#...and even on less serious topics... boy I wish you'd ever listen to me#if it weren't for the fact you say you like me... I'd be pretty damn sure you can't fucking stand me and I do nothing but annoy you#...I don't know if you've... ever... listened to anything I've said on any subject#when you do; you usually correct me... even though; brilliant as you are... you're erm... not always right#I don't get it... I don't get you... every word I say seems to be wrong... I'm so stupid and you're so smart#and yet you get real upset when I want to die... so you must actually like me and our communication styles don't match up#thank god you never seem to read my tags... or... much of anything else I say#truthfully I'd follow you anywhere; and you can treat me any way you want#but man I don't think my thoughts or opinions matter to you even a little... I think I just exist to be your rubber duck#...that's how it feels anyway#but all that aside... just wish you'd listen to me on Ukraine cause it actually matters#this post started out about some other people too... and sure... I like them well enough; and they're maddeningly wrong#like sputnik levels or wrong#drives me nuts; like you're not stupid and you're not cruel so why do you act so stupid and cruel?... turn you brain on#but uh... I actually just don't care about them that much#where as you... I could put it into words... but I won't#it's just a shame... like forget any of the stuff about me; it's just you're so kind... wish you'd care about what's going on in Ukraine#...I gotta stop or I'll go on all night; and I'm already too tired#mm tag so i can find things later
2 notes · View notes
sealeneee · 2 months ago
Text
siiiiiiigh
#i am in fact a grown adult who is still incapable of talking about their feelings and thoughts to people so I'll just rant here#my relationship with my mother is. so weird. it's not always bad but it always ends up bad for one reason or another#she can be perfectly civil and i'll still be irritated. other times i do try to tolerate it and engage and she ends up saying something#upsetting to me either way.#i don't want to keep being rude to her i don't want to get mad and annoyed all the time but i just can't stop. it's always like this#and i hate myself for it and i hate her and i hate everything about it#today i was leaving for work and she was like. i'll take the trash out of your room and i told her not to do it. she kept insisting and i#had to raise my voice at her to maybe get the point across to get her not to touch anything#and yes my room is a fucking mess and it is something to be embarrassed of. i just feel so fucking tired all time time and i keep tellin#myself that i will clean it this time for sure and then i don't. most of the time it's my mother taking care of it without my permission#and i am grateful for it bc nobody likes living in a mess... but i also fucking hate it because it makes me feel even more worthless#i just can't get rid of the feeling of shame. no matter what i do.#and back to the mother thing. i told her that if she touches anything i will go to her room and throw out anything that isn't nailed down#even though objectively i have no reason to oppose her helping me#but i also fucking hate it#maybe being rude is the only way to get it across. but also i get irritated about anything so easily#i feel shittier and shittier every day. had there been an easy and painless way of killing myself i would have done it already#and despite how much i want to blame this on a disorder or lack of access to medication. there is no magic pill that would fix me is there#i'm just a shitty person who cannot get it together despite everything being handed to me#i'm literally bad at anything and everything. i'm not even a good blogger lmao#people have it much worse in life and still do better. me? i'm useless. there's no helping it. i should have died from covid or something#nobody will save me. nobody cares enough. besides one person whom i push away because i can't stand her and i don't even know why 👍#if i stop messaging people first most of them would forget about me#i am alone. a lonely person in a messy room desperately trying to be entertaining so someone will pay a little bit of attention to me.#not to mention the geopolitics#i won't even go there. i hate the possibility that people might see it mentioned and give me shit for it#one more thing that is apparently my fault. directly or indirectly#all i want is to leave this country. spend the day with someone who cares for me like an actual friend. and then shoot myself so i don't#have to go back#sealene.txt
5 notes · View notes
mars-ipan · 3 months ago
Text
this is gonna sound incredibly virtue signal-y i fear but i have been feeling. so fiercely protective of all the transfems i've ever met lately
#marzi speaks#I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO EARN GOOD BOY POINTS HOLD ON LET ME. EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE#obvs we're in kinda a tense political climate rn#and i'm noticing trends have been getting . increasingly misogynistic lately?#in like . a subtle but for sure still noticeable way#and women are being dismissed and all this awful shit#and ppl are going. completely mask off about it when the woman happens to be a trans gender#and it reminds me of when i was a little girl. and how my mom spent so much time in my childhood#training me to not stand for and take misogynistic bullshit from anyone. and to defend other women too#she taught me to assert myself in professional or academic environments. she taught me to stand proud and take up physical space#once as a kid my great uncle (who's always been a nut) didn't let me come on a fishing trip because i was a girl#when i came to my mom crying about it because i loved boats and fishing and my family she just about murdered him. completely tore into him#my whole life my mom has been there to tell me that people will try to put me down. they will try to overlook me or dismiss me#or make me feel smaller. and if i dare to get too confident i'll be labeled bossy or a bitch#and that no matter what i do i cannot let those pieces of shit win. i cannot let that stop me#and that i'd have to fight so fucking hard for it my whole life and it won't be fair but i will do it because i have no other option#and i'm seeing a lot of transfems having to navigate that now too#but they didn't get the privilege of being trained in this since day 1. they have to figure it out on their own#and the demonization right now is so strong that a single misstep can be. so dangerous#and it makes me so mad. all of that built up anger from every time i've had to learn how to not take misogynistic bullshit comes to a boil#the little girl scout in my brain who grew up forcing people to see that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants fuck you is ACTIVE rn#she's angry. she's so angry. because she's seeing the same bullshit she dealt with in middle school being repeated again#anyways. transfems. i love you so much. you deserve so much fucking better.#i hope you can safely advocate for yourself. until then i will fucking yell and scream from the rooftops because this shit is so unfair#you should be allowed to succeed and you should be allowed to fail. and you should be allowed to take up as much goddamn space as you want#and wear whatever the hell you want. transfems i love you and i am so so angry on your behalf. modern feminism has failed you#and i am going to kill someone over it#remember to be loudly and unapologetically yourself as much as you safely can. do not let them crush your spirit
3 notes · View notes
eros-ghoulette · 5 months ago
Text
I need cuddles. I fucking need them
2 notes · View notes