#but i feel better so yay :) hopefully i'll keep improving

[queerstudiesnatural]

hello! :•D

[linguenuvolose]

2024 goals - March progress

I can't claim I focussed on my goals at all this month... Idk I don't really see them as goals either they're just kinda.. things I keep some track of. I know I said this last month but I think April will be more productive because this month for sure spring will feel like it's here (we're still waiting for the trees to turn green, it snowed A Lot last week, just to give you an idea of the situation).

Anyway love and light below are some reflections on my specific goals :)

Get back into a reading routine

I've kept on reading Orlando by Virginia Woolf and I only have 35 pages left. I'm still not consistent at all with it, I read a bit about once a week. I find it so hard to reach for the book instead of my phone, it's annoying because I really do enjoy the book.

Meet friends at least once a month

I've had some good hangouts this month, mostly others that have been reaching out. I'm happy because one of my friends came to my boyfriend's show and was so excited about it and I'm happy they are bonding! In April I have plans to go visit a friend who lives in another city (one of my closest friends who will also meet my boyfriend for the first time) and I'm also planning to reach out to another friend!

Do the damn exercises for my back :(

I did them like.... 2,5 times :( not good at all. And my salsa classes stopped in the middle of the month and I've decided to not continue so it's not looking perfect. Hopefully with the extra light we get now I can have more energy to do them in the evening.

Get better at Portuguese

I signed up for the Portuguese course at uni <3333 Hopefully I'll get in and I'll be able to do that in the fall. I studied in some way 11 days of the month which isn't nothing!! Started doing Clozemaster and I really like it, especially on the writing mode (let's be honest, all my knowledge in Romance languages makes the "choose from these four options" a walk in the park for me). It's super annoying that the free plan only allows you 30 words a day. What I really should do is produce more, write little texts and stuff.

Get my license

We're still waiting for the permit to be able to practice driving with my boyfriend but it's taking a while... I've had 2 lessons though (was supposed to have 3 but one got cancelled). I don't know that I feel that I'm getting any better but I do really have to start studying the theory. It would be nice to talk to my instructor also and ask him what he thinks a reasonable time frame would be for me. In my head I'm seeing myself getting the license during the summer but who knows.

Get back into the habit of going on walks

I have been on some walks this month but more in the sense of I am somewhere and walk a bit instead of taking the closest subway. But I mean now with the change of the hour and the warmer weather I for sure am seeing myself going on more walks!

Go to the theatre more (youth discount my beloved) and also to some museums!

I went to the Maurizio Cattelan exposition at the Modern art museum because my friend had a free entrance with her job. I actually really liked it! Unfortunately I was in a bit of a hurry so I didn't have time to meander or look at the other expositions but I would love to go back! They do the free entry on Friday evenings so I think I might go!

Improve my sleeping schedule

I actually compiled my statistics for this this month (yay!). Slept an average of 7h15 but if we just look at work nights it's 6h20. Not great... It's not something I've paid particular attention to this month but I think I should. I think a goal could be maybe sleep before 1 more often (this month it was 3 times hihihi ma come siamo messi raga).

[lucaajex]

Log Entry 9

It's been awhile Celestials.

There's so much that has happened since the last I wrote. I'll do a quick update before I discuss two projexts I will be working on (not procrastinating on either).

Since the last I post, I had gotten a new job (I quit that). I live in the Bay Area still and really enjoy it. No, I'm not unemployed. I took another job working with something I enjoy consuming. The job keeps me busy. The coworkers seem to have a mutual understand of the goal at hand. Working together to move forward and not against to move backwards.

I've gotten back into gaming, reading, and now, obviously, writing. Which will be the news further down in the post. I completed my degree in June of this year then went to comic the next month. Exciting. Finally got to see Tahoe.

Yes, I am still single and enjoy being so. I have come to better understand my unique sexuality. This has helped with feeling more comfortable with myself and who I am. Yay me, huh?

My kid is growing, so proud of them and everything they have achieved. Their strength in getting through all the tough times (health wise and my mental issues). They are have excelled in so much, in more than I ever have as a child. I will continue to give them world.

I have become better at controlling my mental health and emotional issues. Understanding that when I am checked that I need to correct myself, not take offense. It has taken a lot of time self-reflecting, looking outside in, studying my own behavior, ques and patterns. Learning to catch myself, learning to allow myself to break down, learning to let go, learning to accept flaws and perfections as they are. I still have a long way to go, but I continue to work on myself as I do not like many attributes and behaviors I have. I returned to blogging to help me with this and the two projexts.

So, the projexts, "Dreaming Stories" and "The Academy". I will work to make a few chapters and register my copywrite. While I want to share the story freely to read, I also don't want my idea reused. Trust me when I say the "Academy" is my baby, this has been a 10-year brainstorming idea that has improved vastly with time. I'll be typing and likely doing audio storytelling as I want to improve my skill. Plus, hopefully it'll give context on some of the characters. "Dreaming Stories" will not receive the same love unfortunately.

Stay tuned~

[caracalled]

i have decided i am sick of endless scrolling and never feeling like i am in power of my own time, I barely even remember anything I did after sinking several hours into scrolling. I feel like my brain has this urge all the time to get the little content dopamine hits which mainly leads to mindless scrolling on youtube and tumblr.

So I am changing my environment and making some rules for myself regarding social media:

My laptop stays at my desk and I only use tumblr + youtube on my laptop (with time restrictions), so I don't accidentally rot in bed all day. I also hang out on forums there but I think that's fine bc of how slow paced they are.

because I am in a long distance relationship, calling with my partner is only allowed on my ipad in the evening (this will stop hopefully when he moves in with me in may)(yay :D)

if possible, I only take my flip phone outside and leave my smartphone at home. I urge my friends to call instead of texting.

I deleted my instagram + twitter accounts a long while ago but that counts too I think

no social media apps on my phone except for bereal and letterboxd

Less social media related but a huge change for me: I got a wristwatch recently and it's so nice to not have to get out my phone and accidentally see a message to tell the time!

There's also the issue of my attention span and passive media consumption in general so here are some things that are gonna change/have changed:

I don't have streaming, so for anything I can get at the library, I have to plan ahead and take a walk to my local library so I can watch it (so I get a nice little walk too! :D)

No Spotify either, so music I either get at second hand CD shops or on bandcamp and listen to them on my ipod (which doesn't have internet)

Youtube is a big problem, but I took a 1 week break recently which massively improved the situation. I might do that again and also I'll definitely put restrictions on youtube. I don't know if that will be enough so I think I have to find a better solution long term?

I usually check my phone first thing in the morning so from now on in the evening it goes on my dresser. Since I typically either scroll tumblr or read webcomics I will keep my ereader on my nightstand and read manga on that instead in the mornings.

Video games are always allowed. Mainly play short indie games anyway plus I think this consumption falls under active in my specific case, and overconsumption has not been a problem really.

I think this is still pretty rough around the edges. I need a better idea of how I want to handle uni work and productivity, and also taking rest times? I think being able to not really do anything at all is incredibly important for my mental wellbeing and I want to find ways to do that, but also I would like to stay on top of my work enough for it to be stress-free for me to engage with. I think starting some sort of exercise and making walks more frequent + longer so I actually walk more than my average 5k steps a day would be nice, plus those walks would give me some more space for my thoughts. And my uni offers meditation classes near me, so I will also see if that is interesting at all this semester. Let's see how this goes!

[daisyvisions]

yay i’m glad you remember me! and i saw your sangyeon fic, i’m so glad i convinced you to write it bc it was perfect hehe 😆 actually i’ve kinda been keeping up with your fics bc i check on the tbz smut tag like once a week to see if any new stuff is out but i haven’t had the time to visit anyone’s blogs and send asks like i usually do :/ so i have no idea what the lore is on your blog now lol i’ve been scrolling down just skimming through stuff quickly and saw y’all talking about fruit and i was so confused for a bit lmao

also i saw someone say kamusta to you and omg i didn’t realise you were filipino!! i am too but i don’t live in ph anymore tho i moved abroad like 15 years ago 😢

also i wanted to tell you i actually started a writing blog on here and i saw that you liked my first fic on your main!! but actually i lost access to that blog and it discouraged me a lot from continuing my writing 😭 it’s a long story but i can explain more if you want

also writer’s block sucks! i hope you find a way to overcome it so we can continue reading your awesome writing :D and it sucks to hear that life isn’t going as smoothly as it should be for you, you deserve a lot of happiness and i hope things get a lot better from now on <3

🥺 thank you for the kind words and the support! dont worry there's not much lore that went on just moments like the great fruit debate honestly hahaha but omg you wrote?! WHICH ONE?! 😭 and you're filipino too?? 💕

yeah the writer's block got to me especially with all those things going on in my life but I had a sudden realization over the weekend so hopefully it helps me improve! thanks for checking up!

but babe omg dont get discouraged in fact, I always believe that when you lose something it's actually a sign of manifestation happening in your life so maybe at the time something was happening? idk that's just me haha but please omg you should continue dont get discouraged! if you must repost them go I'll support it again! 🥰

you, me, and everyone here deserve happiness and feeling better about ourselves! ✨