#but i dont like being treated like im a fucking genius because of something i can control

[nightfallsystem]

does anyone else also have neurotypicals expect you to be fucking Einstein because your autistic?

my mother expects me to be smart because im "gifted" and it makes me so fucking mad, being autistic isnt really a "gift" to me, i am the same as any other person just with some more struggles and needs.

[successfulgoddess333]

ZENDAYA EATING A PIZZA!

TOUGH LOVE RANT!

Hi now that I’ve got your attention

I’m going to yell at you

Cuz I love you but y’all killing me with this

“I have the urge to move”

Or my favorite

“I didn’t get symptoms”

Mmmm this one is ultimate favorite

“How do I enter the void?”

😃

Sweetie what do you think my posts are about???

How to find the tooth fairy?

Please stop asking me that when it’s literally in ALL MY POSTS

I literally got blocked cuz I was asked over and over again

By someone I thought was a friend

How to get in the void

I told her

It’s in my posts

Read my posts

I guess she didn’t wanna do that

All you’re doing is meditating

Yall act like you have to clean a whole warehouse or work a 10am to 2am shift!

Like it’s giving

“Omg I have to lay still and affirm and breathe and actually be relaxed and ignore the 3D which I hate anyways and leave this physical plane to go to my 4D which is pretty much me in my most powerful and purest state to gain peace and comfort and manifest my desires because I was born to do this and then wake up with my desires because it’s literally so easy ugh that’s too much it’s soo hard!!

SOME OF YALL ARE GIVING THAT EXACT ENERGY

Im not comparing trauma or anything everything you’re going through is valid

But somebody is probably going through something so horrible

And they don’t know about the void state or manifestation in general!

YET YOU DO!!

Because guys I love you but you’re all asking the same thing over and over and over again

It’s driving me insane

Every post I make is about the void

What it is and how to get in

If my account was about making bagels

Would you ask me

“Do you make bagels?”

You see what I mean?

I love you so much but stop asking the same thing

And I made a post on boundaries

Still had someone asking me to enter the void for them

How am I gonna take time out of MY DAY

To enter the void for someone with the SAME POWER AS ME!!!!

That’s like helping a genius with his homework

You already know how to do it tf you asking me for????

😐

Bro

What do you think the void is???????

It’s not Disneyland

It’s not your mamas house

It’s not a Beyoncé concert

STOP TREATING IT LIKE ITS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING EVER OR THAT ITS OUT OF REACH OR OH I ONLY GET IN IF IM LUCKY

IT IS LITERALLY NOT!!!

There’s is no luck when it comes to the void

I’m not gonna keep repeating myself

Everyone on here keeps telling yall the same things

Yet you still ask

How to enter

Or

Complaining about not having symptoms

BECAUSE YOU GOT USED TO IT THATS WHY YOU HAVE NO SYMPTOMS ANYMORE AND EVEN IF YOU DO IDC IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR WHOLE BODY IS BEING DRAGGED ACROSS THE MF ROOM IGNORE IT YOUR SYMPTOMS IS APART OF THE 3D REALITY

WHY?

BECAUSE THEY ARE APART OF YOUR BODY AND YOUR BODY IS PHYSICAL THIS WHOLE REALITY IS PHYSICAL THERES NO POWER HERE YOU ARE THE 4D!!!!

THATS WHERE THE POWER IS AND ITS POWERFUL BECAUSE OF YOU

ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE YOU YOU HOLD THE POWER YOU ARE THE REASON WHY YOU EITHER ENTERED OR HAVENT BECAUSE ITS BASED ON YOUR ASSUMPTIONS

THE 3D IS A PHYSICAL REFLECTION OF YOU

YOU DONT LIKE IT RIGHT???????

OK MEDITATE

How???

BITCH JUST LAY THERE FOCUS ON YOUR BREATHING AND YOUR PEACE

AT THIS POINT SAY

FUCK MY DESIRES IMMA GET THEM ANYWAYS

IF YOUR ONLY GOAL FOR THE VOID IS TO MANIFEST YOUR DESIRES

YOU’RE GONNA GET IN ANYWAY BUT YOUR GOAL SHOULD INCREASE WITH EVERY STEP

WHEN YOU LAY DOWN FOCUS ON JUST FINDING PEACE AND CONNECTING WITH YOUR SELF DEEPLY FUCK THOSE SYMPTOMS FUCK ANY 3D REACTIONS IF YOU GET NO SYMPTOMS EVEN BETTER NOTHING TO DISTRACT YOU

IF YOU GET SLEEPY KEEP AFFIRMING YOU’LL WAKE UP IN THE VOID

DIDNT WORK?

DO IT AGAIN

“But I’m_(excuses)”

NOPE

DO IT AGAIN THIS IS FOR YOU NOT JUST YOUR DESIRES BUT YOU ARE GOING HOME TO GET THE PEACE YOU DESERVE

THE 4D IS YOUR HOME ITS CALLING YOU!!

YOU CREATED IT THE UNIVERSE TRYNA LET YOU KNOW WHOS BOSS

THAT BOSS IS YOU

SO LIKE A BOSS

GO TO WORK

GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

STOP COMPLAINING STOP RESEARCHING GET OFF OF HERE NOW!!

AND STOP USING ME AS YOUR VOID COACH I MAKE POSTS TO INSPIRE I RESPOND TO DMS FOR ASKS THAT I HAVENT ALREADY COVERED IF YOU NEED A QUESTION READ MY POSTS BEFORE YOU ASK

Not to be rude but you might get blocked if you ask

“How to enter the void?”

Bro

ALL MY POSTS TALK ABOUT THAT

Quit overcomplicating

You made the void

It exists because of you

Put YOURSELF on a pedestal not anything or anyone

Sometimes I feel like yall just use me and other blogs on here to get info on something we already talked about on our posts

Just for you to get mad when we get fed up with repetitive questions

BLOCK ME THEN BUT IM NOT ABOUT TO BABY YOU IM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH THE POWER LIES WITHIN YOU GIRLIE

READ BEFORE YOU ASK BABY

If this still doesn’t help you

Idk what else to say

I love you much love 🩵

[strwbmei]

i love bottom ei BUT UGH TOP EI??

i think im mentally ill for this but oh gods please hear me out💪💪

i want ei to strangle me while electro surges through her fingers finger she pounds the ever living fuck out of me to breed me bonus if she has a dick percing to zap your cervix everytime you try saying something snarky despite the shock at your neck and the hand squeezing your neck enough to keep you silent

“how’s that? hm? Baby you always have to be so cruel dont you? I dont mean this my love.” she’s reassuring you as you feel her other hand squeeze your hip. its tight enough to give you another bruise to look back at in happiness

who knew the same woman you ride and give head to could be so domaineering when she had the chance? sweet and shy yet so fucking good at making you sob and smile at the same time

“Love you’re twitching stop moving or i cant make you m-.. feel good.” she pants out shes a bit like a puppy when she wants to be though you felt a snarky remark bubbling up but you couldnt speak this time you knew you had to be silent otherwise it’ll be worser for the only source of light in the room to grow bigger and hurt your neck more with its shock

The piercing being used as a conductor for electricity is actually so genius.

Ei really doesn't want to hurt her precious darling, but what else is she supposed to do when you treat her as if you're above her? When you take all that she gives you for granted?

Ei is a goddess. Your goddess, for that matter. She doesn't ask that you bow your head to her or grovel at her feet, but why must you always disrespect her so? Has she not been good to you; given you everything you wished for as soon as you said the word?

No, she has been lenient. Far too lenient. Perhaps Ei's (admittedly) special treatment towards you has led you to think that the two of you were equal when that couldn't be farther from the truth.

Everything that you want to do, you can only do because she allows you. As long as you are in Inazuma—in her territory—this will always be the case.

Did you really think that Ei, a trained warrior and an Archon, couldn't break free of those flimsy ropes you had always liked to tie around her wrists? Not for a second did you have her cornered and helpless. Ei thought you understood that, but it seems she was mistaken.

It's so easy for her to pick you up, bend you over, and fuck you until you're apologizing and begging for her to slow down. Even easier for her to make you cum until your brain is turned into mush from the overstimulation.

And what better way to drill that into your head than to actually do it to you?

"My love... Stay still, hm? You know I don't wish to hurt you." You squirmed around her pierced cock, the metal acting as a conductor for the gentle yet tantalizing jolts of electricity that traveled up your spine. The piercing at the tip of her dick was just a joke you started at first, but you were pleasantly surprised the first time you saw it.

"Bullshi-" You half shriek in pain and half moan in pleasure as a sudden surge of electricity hits you. "Have you not earned your lesson?" Ei frowns. She doesn't want to see you in pain. Moreover, she doesn't want to enjoy seeing you in pain.

Still, if this is the only way, Ei has no other choice.

[voiceofthesilly]

Hi, uhm.

Your designs for the voices in STP are..

Genius.

The premise of their design are simple (birds(?) with animal skull heads(?)) yet it makes them so distinguishable!

Also your art is very yummy- It's beautiful.

Ajsjadhdja thanku!! this means a lot, espeically since i love your designs for them a LOT Gonna take that as an opportunity to explain them some bc i havent really done that so beware, long rant under the cut

The general idea was for them to have masks of various woodland creatures, as a general reference to the cabin being set in the woods and to add a bit of a fairytale twist, as often in fairytales guiding voices in form of animals appear But thinking about it skulls are such a sick idea and might use them for less cartoony iterations honestly

From left to right!

Cold was actually pretty hard to pick an animal for - @3zethe3zr has been immense help figuring those out with various voices and we went through options like wolves and bears before i settled on lynx (quick, efficient and solitary assassin). I wanted Cold to feel big and overpowering, blocking out everything else. In a way that silence is big, sorta. You might also notice that they're the only voice without markings - its partially because everything i could come up with felt too on the nose, and partially because well. what symbol better than vast emptiness. Largest voice! 8'2" tall

Paranoid is a mouse, i feel like the association here is pretty straightforward. Big wings to hide behind and bald patches from overpreening. Their pattern is the eyes, they can't seem to get rid of them. Some on the feathers, some straight on the skin.

Hunted gets a hare mask because i said so and hares have amazing prey eyes. It's rather large, but always crouched over and ready to bolt, making it much smaller than it could be - Hunted always says we're small, but there's a moment where Wild refutes that. Of course it's not in reference to physical size there, but I wanted to use that nonetheless. Target mark on their chest and mask. Eyes on the side of the head - not sure where i heard it first but it was sych a good take i had to do it

Hero !!! I struggled a lot with the animal for them, went through a bunch of deer, wolf, even bird at some point (birds were off limits). In the end went with 3zr's squirrel suggestion - a little kind voice sitting on your shoulder. Hero also gets a cape, as a treat. for being there always. And because they're a hero and im no edna mode. Markings are the slits in a knight helmet!

Stubborn was im pretty sure the first one who got designed at all, due to intense stubborn brainrot. Animal is a boar, due to the mfs being extremely hard to kill, though i did want to go with a wolverine for a while. His mask is moved aside, he's straighforward and has no need for hiding anythin. Masks off and knives out, am i right . He's the shortest voice in the lineup (whole 3'7"). this is because im not tall and i like him. I tried to strike a balance between squarish and triangle build. His wings are proudly on display, and so are his scars - a testiment to our resilience.

Opportunist! my littlest guy who missed being a weasel by like 3 milimeters and ended up fox. because of course he did. He's fucking tiny - i usually like making voices who dont consider us strong bigger than they think, but in this case it felt fitting to make it something he works with. The markings are pointed knives, pretty self-explanatory i feel. Usually partially hidden under the chest feathers. Also, his arms are hidden behind his back here but the palms are red - blood on him hands

Smitten is a deer! They always felt very noble to me, and, well, heart shape in the antlers! The mask is somewhat ill-fitting and she can't see well but that's alright, love is blind. The largest marking by far - he's not one to hide his nature, and his heart is as big as the markings would suggest. I wanted to give her this sorta chivalrous fairytale knight build. Wings folded into a wing shape!

Contrarian is another long boi, i felt it would work well for whatever silly limb contortions hed do. The animal is a natterer's bat specifically - again, 3zr's genious idea

Neck feathers meant to resemble a jester's collar. Funky patterns meant to be confusing and disorientin. In the lineup in particular i didn't do it, but the idea is that with the mask slightly more up and beak open it almost looks like he has three heads, paralleling Stranger

Skeptic i wanted to have a very solid build, so square he is. The markings are question marks - both on the mask and feathers. He's a little silly with his saying wink out loud, so he gets to have a question mark tie. Wings folded behind mimicking a trench coat. He deserves glasses

Broken is actually second longest! It doesn't matter though, does it. They can be as large as they want, doesn't change anything. Mask is a raccoon dog - felt fitting vibewise. Bald patches around neck, wrists and ankles, as if remnants of shackles locked around them. The markings are meant to mimick both cracks (in shape) and chains (in layout). Mask pulled up for them double sad eyes and because there isnt even a point in hiding

Last up, cheated! Hedgehog bastard. I guess kinda paralleling Razor in that regard? They're not particularly big and their feathers are ruffled. Uses wings for extra expression! Markings meant to both resemble scars and diamond suit

Also, earlier verisons!

[safetycar-restart]

Hiiiii lemon here, gonna drop a somnophilia ask in beforehand (and hope it doesnt get lost in the fanmail lmao) if thats alright bc im gonna be travelling around that time and will likely be in no shape to send it in then (its v exciting but its so stressful i swear im going crazy i wont be surprised if i turn into a motherfucking banana before this is over. A banana anon. Abanananan. If this doesnt characterise the chaos my life is rn i dont even know) (oh crap the banana is taken already. Am i a hybrid? Lemonana? Balemon? Banamon? It looks like a banana and then you take a bite and surprise surprise its evil?? I dont know i should get to the ask prbly)

So idk if this is weird actually but i was thinking seb getting to play with you while youre asleep instead of the other way around? 

I mean, he is an early riser and sometimes he would wake up unbearably horny. It starts out as him cuddling up to you, kissing your neck maybe, nuzzling into your shoulder insistently, and he always shakes you awake when he cant wait any longer because he would never do anything without your explicit permission. 

And some morning he shakes you awake, and you swing an arm lazily around his neck and tell him he can go on, so now he is grinding against your hip, and it’s so nice—it’s a steady pace that’s almost lulling, and you’re warm and happy and have your favourite boy here with you who is so cute when he is needy, and it’s not like you were fully alert in the first place, so you start to drift back to sleep. 

He stops and shakes you awake again.

The problem is, you really don’t want to wake up yet.

“What’s the matter, love, do you need something?” you mumble, and he hides his face into your shoulder guiltily, realising he isn’t letting you sleep when you probably want to. But what if you want him to stop or something and you can’t because you’re asleep? You hum and settle more comfortably against the pillows. “Wake me up if you want to come, but not earlier than in half an hour.”

It turns out to be pretty fun—most of the fun being how into it he unexpectedly is. Because you trust him with this? You trust him to be a good boy and do everything right while you’re not watching him, but also trust him with your body so completely? 

He is not allowed to come until you wake up and give him explicit permission, but other things may vary: sometimes you will tell him beforehand that everything is fair game but he cant wake you up before your alarm goes off (otherwise he doesnt get to come for the rest of the day), or that he isn’t allowed to touch you, only help himself. 

Initially the main rule sounds something like “no orgasms while i’m asleep” and he is puzzled by it. Turns out, the question is, should he wake you up if you’re about to come? You don’t think there is much use in this rule, surely you’d wake up if you were that close, but you keep it anyway—and turns out the little shit can be extremely sneaky when he wants to, and not a little bit smug about it, too. So sometimes you wave the rule on yourself. As a treat.

With love, 

Lemon 💜🍋

p s hope everyone is having a fun kinktober the 15th, will look at what yall were up to as soon as i can! 💕✨🥰

Okay so lemon sent this ask a while ago and I have been counting down the days until somno day because this ask is fucking AMAZING. Lemon you are an absolute genius this is incredible.

Also lemon, we need a travel update. I assume you've gone insane, but we need to know the level of insanity. Update us!! We require a debrief.

Okay anyway, back to seb somno!

Before you came along, seb never really woke up horny after he was like 15. But then he gets into a relationship with you and suddenly he's waking up horny all the time? Like his body is aware that he's next to you and knows you'll make him feel good.

And of course, you love waking up to a horny seb, and love being woken up by a horny seb even more. Because the times when Seb wakes you up himself are just the best. He's so painfully hard, whining into your ear and finally shaking you awake because he cant take it anymore.

Being able to grind against you feels so nice. Not just because it's getting some much-needed friction, but also because he feels so warm and safe? He can can cuddle into your side, head resting against your shoulder as he grinds against you.

But then you fall back asleep and seb panics?

I also think it would take seb a minute or two to realise that you've fallen asleep? Because he's just so wrapped up in how good it feels to drag his hips against you in the warmth and comfort of the bed.

And then he looks up at you to get a kiss and realises that you've fallen asleep? Seb panics so much.

Because he doesnt know when you fell asleep. What if he's been grinding against you and you fell asleep basically the moment you said he could?

He feels so bad. He has no idea what to do, but he's also still so hard and not moving his hips against you feels like absolute torture because now he knows how good it feels.

So he shakes you awake, because he figures if he's going to get in trouble, then he should own up to it. That's one of his rules: he must always tell you if he's been bad and if he's honest with you, he'll get a lighter punishment (you have never needed to punish him, but he insists that you have rules for that).

So he shakes you awake, and you're very confused.

"Close to cumming?" you ask him, still half asleep. You assume he's woken you because he needs permission to cum.

"No..." he mumbles, "you fell asleep, and I.. I didn't know so I kept on going."

Now you're even more confused.

"Yes?" you say, "I told you that you could? Seb, why would you think you'd get in trouble for doing something I gave you permission for?"

"Cause you were sleeping," he explains, "you weren't... you didn't know?"

You roll over to face him, cupping his jaw, "You're my good boy. I know that you'll always follow my rules, even when I'm asleep, and I know that you'd never hurt me. So you can grind against me when you wake all hard and achy, yeah? You're a good boy, and good boys get to do that."

Seb cries at your words, shuffling closer and hugging you tight because he cant he gets to have this, cant believe you trust him with something as precious as your body.

From there, he gets more used to it. He understands he's always allowed to grind against you, that he can get pleasure like that for as long as he wants until your alarm goes off. And he knows that when you wake up, you'll always let him cum.

It's actually him that asks about him touching you while you're still sleeping. Cause he wants to make you feel good?

You're open to the idea, and you know he'd never hurt you.

Seb loves it so much! Even more than grinding against you, just settling between your legs and licking you for a little while is the perfect way to start the morning.

[taintedpearls]

dogtooth, ellabs x reader headcannons ౨ৎ⋆

with special guest @satellitespinner !

dont buy tlou | free palestine

masterlist. | her version!

pairing: roommate!ellie and abby x fem!reader

warnings: nsfw at the bottom, no outbreak/modern au, fem reader, fluff and i think that's it?

wc: 2.1k

a/n: this is fully inspired by @beforeimdeceased chaotic roommates series! it's literally so good so you guys need to show her some love. me and izzie were texting and suddenly we just became genius' with so many thoughts... anyway i lov her and her genius mind! we have another ellabs collab coming soon 👀👀

roomate!ellabs who were best friends with you and when you needed a place to stay they happily invited you to join them on their lease !

cooking with them is... chaotic. but some days it can be good!

bumping your hip with ellie because she sucks at cooking and her getting all blushy and flustered

abby gently grabbing your hips to get around you

taking .5s of them ALL THE TIME!!

they hate it but you love it

they have no idea how to use the ring camera you installed, one day they've locked themselves out and are begging you to let them in

"open the door it's cold out 😕" "let us in.... babeeee 😞"

falling asleep while watching a movie like a literal dogpile

while beforehand y'all were arguing for twenty minutes on what movie to watch because you and abby wanted to watch scream and ellie can't handle horror for the LIFE of her

(so you eventually settle on a romcom) (it was 10 things i hate about you) (you've already watched it five times)

abby and ellie playing video games and ur sorta just sitting there staring at their hands watching them play

"did you win?" "no i died."

when you do end up playing a game with them, it's usually fortnite

abby is so gentle with you and constantly helping you through the game

"good job babe!" "show me those bike skills" "want the sniper? i know you said you like those"

however with ellie....

"BABE BABE BABE KILL HIM SHOOT HIM SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT" "FUCK HE HAS TO BE A FUCKING BOT THERES NO WAY" "FUCK YEAH I GOT HIM TAKE THAT"

ellie putting her hands on urs on the controller when their first teaching you how to play and whenever she gets touchy <3

sitting on their laps while they play...

sleepover with them go NUTS

ellie buys SO MUCH SOUR CANDY

abby fucking HATES sour candy and you and ellie are trying to trick her into having a warhead

"no im not putting that vile shit in my mouth" "abby it's literally so sweet trust me" "no eat it it's just candy" "just try! 😕"

pouting to get your way and she gives in (and immediately spits it out)

pouting to get your way works with them no matter what

abby would be a personal trainer and also work somewhere in analytics

ellie would be a mechanic and livestream for a living (she acts like it's no big deal but she's gained a surprisingly large following)

reader owns a bakery that's also a flower shop and always brings in spare treats for them to have!

"guys i got doughnuts for you!"

you buy them flowers all !! the !! time !! and you assign really specific meanings to them

"so the poppy means... and the tulip with the poppy means..."

they're pretending to listen... (they are listening so intently)

them ganging up to tickle u at least once a day (you act like you despise it but in reality your devouring it)

FORCING THEM TO MAKE TIKTOKS WITH YOU

abby's texting you "Babe wdym I have to take a quiz on what aura I have." "can u just do it?"

omfg forcing abby to get tiktok because she refused to get it for so long only for her to be on it more than you and sending you the most random shit

getting into an argument with one of them is certainly something !

ur refusing to talk to ellie and ur communicating to her through abby (ellie is speaking to you directly and you are sitting cross legged staring at abby) "abby tell ellie im not speaking to her rn" and ur being DEAD serious... they're laughing their asses off

kissing abby in front of ellie to make her jealous when ur fighting

and whenever ellie and abby are fighting you straight up ignore them until they come to their senses and apologise

matching tattoos! you have a sun, abby has a moon and ellie has some stars

uno and they both have extra cards under the table

"are you guys cheating" "OH MY GOD NO OF COURSE NOT-" "HOW COULD YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT?!" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" "WE WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU A GAMES A GAME"

ellie standing up to get water and you yell at her from the 826 cards that slipped

abby and ellie pull pranks on eachother all the time!

and you are constantly getting caught in the middle of it

one time you contribute and both of them are arguing on who did what prank having zero clue it was you

and you're just giggling off to the side

the two would have such bad jealousy issues

like they see u GLANCE at another girl and they're dragging you home

and then they go "we aren't even jealous people! she was practically eye fucking you. that's why we left!"

like girl she had a whole bf

imagine covering them in lipstick kissed and taking a picture...

making them do the lipstick trend

OR the nail polish eye colour trend!

u having a hard day and they’re RUSHING to comfort you

girls were STRESSEDDDD like ellie's holding you while abby's rushing to get the bath filled up

"stupid fucking bathtub isn't filling up!!!!!!! hurry up!!!!!" and now they’re more stressed than you😭

the nicknames.

ellie's pretty basic with it. calling you babe, baby, honey, pretty girl, etc.

but with abby she likes to be unique with it. calling you princess, darling, etc.

and u reversing the nicknames on them...

talking to abby and she's helping u w something and u go "thanks princess!" then kiss her on the cheek like nothing happened

she's like "tf??"

but with ellie she's chasing you around the house and pinning you down till you say she's daddy 😭

how rewarding it is for them when they see u get all blushy and stuff

they would feel so cocky and proud of the themselves

abby sending you playlists and ellie showing you drawings

and the gifts they would get u ! like gift giving isn't their love language but they wanna spoil you

“oo i like that shirt” abby’s already ordered it. in every colour.

like you sneak a peek at a bracelet and now it's ellie's job to keep you distracted while abby runs in and buys it

sleeping w a stuffy and being so tired and giving it a kiss on the cheek and bestfriend!ellie is all like “where’s mine”

she gets jealous with the amount of plushies u sleep with

she's the typa girl to joke "hey mamas where's my kiss" after u get home from work and ur just staring at her like 😐 with flour all over you from a failed recipe

“no? okay sorry babe”

goodcop!abby badcop!ellie when u do something bad!

"babe.... just tell me where u hid my keys and all will be good" "ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP WOMAN...."

then they end up finding the keys under the couch

but u lowk hid them there cause you didn’t want them to leave..

abby had a snapchat hey mamas phase and ellie was there to see it

AND ellie uses it as blackmail in the gc

abby: "Ellie you're so dumb how could you get the directions wrong." "wanna see a magic trick."

abby backtracks so fast in hopes it'll save her from her fate (it doesn't).

"and that's the end of my magic show! thank u and goodnight 🙏 " then ellie disappears because she knows abby will beat her ass

they have pictures of you in a gallery and you don’t know about it

“is this me sleeping?” "gimme my fuckin phone back-" "you ain't seen NOTHING"

you would take so many pics of urself on their phones!

like at dinner and you've managed to sneak one of their phone's under the table and are taking silly selfies

and you take videos of them snatching their phones back

the screen is all black and all you can hear is rustling and the faint sound of ellie whining "babe my storageeee" and abby's just laughing

flipping them off by accident in a photo (both me and izzie are victims to this).

you mean to do 🤘 or 👍 but instead do 🖕

ellie's feigning hurt and abby's laughing so hard

abby uses “😂” and “LOL” but then ellie uses “😭” and “LMAO”

abby is so literal with her texting

She types like this. Always uses proper grammar no matter what.

and ellie... ELLEI TWXTS LIKE THIS

"babky were is tje lrnon" "ALL CAPS NO PUNCTUSLYIK PJNCTISNTILN"

ur the only person who can translate ellie's awful texting so you'll occasionally get texts from joel saying stuff like "Kiddo do you know what she was tryna say here?"

ellie is 100% dyslexic

and a professional yapper which is why she likes streaming so much

abby fights the urge to tell her to shut the fuck up

and sometimes after like a really hard day at work all you wanna do is relax and they just let you

sending them paragraphs about how much you love them just out of the blue

ellie’s like “??? r u gonna kys “

abby leaves you on read and smothers you when she's home

abby chronically leaves people on read

ellie greets you by slapping or pinching ur ass and abby greets you by giving you a kiss on the side of your face ellie also pretends to fuck you from the back whenever you bend down to pick something up

the amount of facetimes when you didn't live with them! and the amount you get when your on some sort of work trip

falling asleep on call and them taking secret screenshots of you and texting eachother in fear of waking you up

facetiming you on abby's macbook

abby uses apple and ellie uses a microsoft laptop

when ur on a work trip and they're harassing you to call

“i’m in a meeting” “answer facetime”

"gimme 5" "5...4...3..2......"

nobody’s home except you and you burn yourself cooking

they are be RUSHINGGG home

"guys it's fine i literally barley did anything" "YOUR GONNA DIE"

“ARE TOU OKAY?!?” "i am literally fine"

omg the day they actually pay attention to work and your at home and don’t have a lot of time for you is the day you die

"i'm in a meeting what's up" "im dynggg.... come back......... zhelllpppppp....."

and then you get all bratty and needy they obviously punish you for it later ... i'll leave that to your imagination.

“come home or i’m gonna fall ill” “YOURE GONNS FALL ILL??"

sitting in abby's lap while she's working from home <3

she's sitting on her chair and ur straddling her with ur face in her shoulder

biting her arm randomly and she's like "ow wtf?!"

biting her for the first time and she’s was all like “?!” this girl was alarmed.... "are you going feral what is up with you"

eventually she just gets used to it at some point

zero reaction to you biting her now

they go to the gym without you and send gym selfies

abby LOVESSS to flex

she'll never admit it but this girl is trying so hard to excentuate her muscles around u

throws you over her shoulder effortlessly

annoying her and going "watcha gonna do abby? kidnap me?" and she, in fact, does.

“let me go!” and she just pats ur ass

and ellie's always wearing shirts that show her arms off

making them kiss

"awh i think we need a ship name now!" "SHUT UP"

forcing them to talk to eachother by ignoring them and then they have to talk to eachother on wether or not ur pissed at them or if ur just not in the mood to talk

them fighting over everything including you

but you're not official with either of them and could go flirt around if u wanted

them showing up at whatever place u have a date at or something and trolling the poor girl ur out with and then angry dragging u home

they get SO possessive

ellie listens to boygenius and you had to beg abby to listen to them and now she loves them

ellie's got 21 savage, the weeknd, drake, tyler the creator, the neighborhood, chase atlantic, etc on her playlists

her and abby have similar music tastes with distinct differences

like abby listens to tyler the creator as well, chase atlantic, HOZIER, frank sinantra, frank ocean.

all of you love phoebe, mac miller, lorde and childish gambino!

and you LOVE kali uchis. ur the lalalala to their okokok.

you discovered her when she released telapatia and have been obsessed ever since

both abby and ellie had a girl in red phase...

sleeping together in abby's bed bc hers is the biggest

ur favourite mornings are ones when you can't even get up and out of bed because abby's spooning you and ellie's arm is hung loosely over ur waist

your situated in the middle with abby on ur right and ellie on ur left

waking them up with breakfast!

abby waking up to smelling some delicious food and hugging you from behind with her eyes closed and neck shoved into ur shoulder "smells s' good baby... wanted to spoil us even more after last night, huh?" in her raspy morning voice

all ur in is an oversized tee and some white bow cotton panties (it's one of abby's post workout shirts)

the only dirt abby has on ellie is the amount of foul photos she has of her sleeping

ellie drools AND snores

latching on to you for dear life

ur shoving the pillow over ur ears in hopes she'll stfu 😭

and she NEVER does 😕

sleeping skin to skin with them :)

"take of your clothes" "why? you wanna...?" "no i just wanna feel u... is that okay?"

abby has soft skin and ellie has a bunch of random bruises and scars

abby and ellie are genuinely head over heels for u in all seriousness

even if they don’t like eachother they cope with it for you!

smooching one of them really hard and like forcing the “MMMMWAH” sound

ellie has a main insta with zero posts and a spam with 827

abby has three accounts, one for gains, her main & her stalker (for ur safety obviously)

meanwhile u just have a main which u post on all the time and a private that nobody knows about for stalking

ellie shit posts. "lol" and it's a photo of a rat smoking a cigarette

ellie dgaf bout what she texts

sent to abby cause you made a joke about her being breedable in bed

nsfw!

ANGRY MAKEUP SEX.

ellie kisses ur tummy before she eats it

and abby puts her forearm on ur lower stomach and applies pressure 😵‍💫

abby calls u good girl

abby comforting you when ellie's going just a little bit too aggressively and manhandling you

[stevengrant-my-beloved]

(he love me) he give me all his money I Part 2 [18+]

Part 1 I Series Masterlist

summary: A brief interaction with a catfish on a sugar daddy website leads to something quite unexpected and suddenly you're on the radar of genius tech billionaire Nathan Bateman, and honestly, you don't mind the attention.

chapter warnings: none (?), light sprinkling of daddy kink (as a joke mostly but...)

a/n: honestly i dont even know where im going with this but here we are

also just a note about the texts in this fic

> Texts like these are from Nathan. [bold and italicized]

> texts like these are from you [italicized]

The next morning finds you laying in bed, eyes wide open as you scroll through the text thread you now had with the CEO of BlueBook.

You're really hot.

That's the text that the Nathan Bateman had sent you the day before, the one you'd opened but still hadn't replied to, and honestly you didn't know what to write back because Nathan fucking Bateman had called you hot.

Thing is, you know that you're hot, you're fucking smoking, you had thousands of pictures on your Instagram to prove it, but you never did get used to compliments, especially when they came from someone like Bateman (a man you'd lowkey been thirsting over for years).

And, fuck, you realize how casually you'd spoken to him yesterday, and a part of you cringes because he's probably just sitting in his huge cabin in the mountains or some shit, gawking at your audacity to not only speak with him like you were old pals but to also seen zone him.

Then there was the issue of the eighteen hundred dollars just sitting in your bank account. Somewhere along the way you'd managed to forget he'd actually sent you money because of a stupid joke in a video.

You open up your mobile banking app, your finger hovering over the send button for a few moments, before hurriedly typing out the necessary info to send back the money you'd received.

Successfully sent.

You sent $1800.00 to Nathan Bateman.

Not even a second later, you get a banner notification from the man himself.

You seen zone me AND you give me back my mon...

And in the panic to put your phone away, you fumble and accidentally click on the notification, which meant Bateman could now see that you'd seen his text.

> You seen zone me AND you give me back my money?

> Were you lying in your Top 10 video? About me being your favorite?

And not even a second later-

> Well?

You imagine him sitting in his swivel chair, in some big office in his cabin in the middle of god knows where, one eyebrow raised up like it usually is in almost all the pictures that have been taken of him. Maybe he's stroking that luscious beard of his as he waits for you to reply, and there's a part of you that wants to ignore him a little more, see what he might do next, but you don't want to risk the possibility of him just not ever talking to you again so you text back.

> i panicked okay?? ur like this rich CEO guy and im just some silly goofy internet person ..

> and bout ur money. that was just a lil joke for the video, please keep your dollars Mr. Bateman

> Fuck off with that Mr. Bateman shit. Call me Nathan

> And, it's my money, I can do what I want with it.

You chew on your bottom lip, typing out words and deleting them, unsure of what to say to him.

> ik you've got enough of it to go around but i really dont know how i feel about just taking your money..

> Think of it as compensation for what you had to endure at the hands of Imposter Bateman.

> i- dude that was a JOKE

> Too bad I'm quite literal-minded.

> Okay in all seriousness, can you go back to how you were yesterday? 

> Just talk to me like you would with any other friend.

> And I'm sending the money back. Treat yourself to something nice.

You've received $1800.00 from Nathan Bateman

"Daddy Bateman sends his regards."

---

Texting Nathan became a regular thing after the initial awkwardness. It was simple stuff at first, short greetings throughout the day, followed by things like 'spent some of that 1800$ u sent on this shitty coffee' with a picture of you holding your coffee cup or 'thoughts?' accompanied by the Imposter Bateman drawing you made one day, basically just a rough sketch of an Among Us astronaut with Nathan's head instead of a visor. He'd always reply, no matter how late he got sometimes (he was a busy man after all, you could understand), even sending back blurry pictures, sometimes of piles of paperwork, sometimes of strings of code on a computer with messages like 'that looks awful i'm suing you for psychological damage' (with regards to the Imposter Bateman sketch) or 'good to know my money's being put to use' and 'let me know if you need more'.

That last kind of text was always followed up with a transfer of money into your account, anywhere between fifty dollars to two thousand, and any attempts you made to return the money were just straight up rejected.

> am i a charity case?

> No.

> so why spend ur money on me when u could be donating?

> First off, I barely send you any money. Second, I do donate, actually.

> 2000$ isnt 'barely any money'

> wait i forgot who i was talking to nvm-

> so why give me money?

> Because I can.

> ugh whatever

> can i post about u? about us being mutuals and u sendin me money n shit

> Sure.

> cool

---

You'd felt a little bad about keeping your followers in the dark about everything that had transpired after you'd posted the sugar daddy video, especially when they'd been so invested in getting Nathan's attention for you, but in the end it didn't matter because once you posted the screenshots of the notification that you'd received when Nathan followed you and when he'd sent you money, your fans had excitedly started tweeting about your 'sugar baby era' and about how you'd gotten Nathan Bateman of all people to follow you first (because yes, you'd made sure to clarify that little detail, which Nathan later confirmed in a tweet).

And since everything was now out in the open, you and Nathan began interacting outside of your Instagram DMs, tweeting at each other about the most random things. You'd even tagged him in a couple of Instagram posts with captions like 'this post was sponsored by @thenathanbateman_official . cause i bought these clothes with his money' or '@thenathanbateman_official can u please text me back im sorry i used ur money to buy new airpods i know better now #bluebookissuperior'

Your fans loved it. It seemed like they lived for every interaction between you and Nathan, and honestly, you lived for them too.

You'd even turned on notifications for the guy! You didn't even do that for the friends you knew in person, although, it didn't really amount to much since Nathan rarely posted anything on his Instagram. It was usually just reposts from different accounts that had mentioned his work, or the occasional post on his stories about life at his secluded cabin.

You'd asked him about it only once.

> where do u actually live tho??

> cause im dying to know

> Can't tell. Last thing I need is the press coming out here.

> i wont tell anyone. pinky swear

That's the first time he'd called you.

"Hey," his low voice sounded through your phone. You could hear a faint buzzing in the background but besides that, it remained quiet for a few seconds.

"It's Nathan."

You swallow the lump that had suddenly formed in your throat. "Uh, hi, yeah, what's up?" you ask, mentally kicking yourself for how awkward you sounded.

"Needed both my hands free to get this job done, so I thought I'd call."

"Yeah, no, that's fine."

"You wanted to know where I lived yeah? Any guesses?"

You hum, like you're deep in thought. "I always thought you might be on a private island or up on a mountain maybe."

Nathan chuckles, and you try not to focus on the way it causes a shiver to run down your spine. "I have better things to spend money on than a private island. And no, I'm not up on a mountain."

"Okay, so where are you then?" you ask, holding back a remark to the comment he'd made about 'having better things to spend money on'.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he asks, and you try not to focus on the way your thighs had involuntarily clenched together at the way his voice dropped just a little.

"Yeah, that's why I fucking asked, Bateman," you bite back, hoping he doesn't catch onto how out of breath you sound, because holy fuck, Nathan Bateman was talking to you on the phone and you were pretty sure you were having a mild heart attack or something.

"Relax sweetheart," he says softly, and yup, that definitely made you throb a little in the nether region. "And didn't I tell you not to call me that?"

You try not to focus on the way he calls you sweetheart, either.

You and Nathan ended up talking for hours (2 to be exact), about your work and his, about your next video, about his money that was still in your account, going back and forth trying to argue about what you should and shouldn't spend it on ("Kitten, you absolutely cannot spend my money on anymore Apple Products, I will block you I swear-" he'd said, to which you'd replied "I posted a picture wearing cat ears once, a year ago. Let it go. Also, screw you, it's my money now, I get to buy whatever the fuck I want."), before you eventually said your goodbyes and headed to bed.

You try not to focus on the way your heart is still hammering in your chest even hours after your call with Nathan.

---

"Did I wake you up?" Nathan asks one night, after he'd called you at around 2 a.m. in the morning.

Luckily for him, you'd actually been getting ready to do a late night Twitch stream.

"Nah, I was up. Going live on Twitch in a bit."

"Right, right. Reacting to another bad web series? Or are you gaming this time?"

You pause for a few seconds, still not used to the fact that the Nathan Bateman was so aware of your online presence. Technically, he was aware of everyone's at any given moment, but it still threw you off.

"Gaming," you reply as you check on your cam settings and make sure you have everything set up for the stream.

The calls had become a regular thing too, at some point. Usually you'd text Nathan, and ever since that first phone call, without fail he'd call your phone instead of replying to your text, and that conversation almost always went like this-

"Why the fuck would I put everything aside just to text you, when I can just call you and work at the same time?" he'd say.

You'd scoff and reply with something like "Wow, fuck you too asshole," before the two of you would settle into pleasant conversation about anything and everything under the sun.

This time was just like every other time, except-

"Alright, I need to start the stream soon, so..."

You hear him sigh, before saying, "Yeah, yeah, I'll let you go. Don't stay up too late."

"Yessir. I'll text you later."

"Good girl. Have fun with the stream." And with that, Nathan hung up.

The next few hours had gone by pretty quickly. You'd started the stream, played a couple of hours of some old indie game that your subscribers had been requesting for you to check out, before signing off.

It was only after you had gotten ready for bed at 4 a.m. that Nathan's words had really settled in.

Good girl.

You didn't think that would do it for you, but surprise, surprise, it obviously did, especially because it came from Nathan, and you find yourself tossing and turning in bed with a growing ache deep and low inside you, your skin growing warmer by the second.

"Fuck," you whisper out into the darkness for no one to hear, squeezing your thighs together only to feel how wet you'd gotten and it was honestly a little mortifying how one man's voice coupled with the words 'good girl' had gotten you to this state.

You always had been a sucker for praise, but this was new.

Just as you're about to turn over to sleep on your side (because yes, you're going to ignore the way your underwear is essentially sticking to you from how wet you are), your phone pings with a new notification.

> Make sure you're home tomorrow at around 3 p.m.

> ?

> Just make sure you're at home.

You roll your eyes at your phone (with the biggest smile on your face), before typing out-

> yes daddy

You see Nathan typing for a few seconds, which is a little weird since he's usually quick to send a reply.

> Good girl.

> You should sleep. We can talk later.

> Night.

You stare at your phone, wondering what the fuck happened because Nathan usually isn't one to leave a conversation first, at least not with you. Even if he said you should sleep early, he usually was up and texting you until the sun rose, but apparently not tonight.

Weird.

You don't have much time to dwell on it though, because you get another notification from your mobile banking app.

You've received $2500.00 from Nathan Bateman

"For being a good girl."

[jcwriting]

Written in the Stars

summary ↬ being soulmates with a werewolf? pretty easy. being jungkook’s soulmate? the easiest thing in the world. there’s only one teensy tiny problem. he doesn’t want to fuck you.

pairing ↬ werewolf!jungkook x reader

genre ↬ soulmate!au, abo verse, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort (this is so fucking dramatic and for what)

word count ↬ 10.4k my hand slipped

warnings ↬ swearing, angst (but with a happy ending bc im a sappy bitch), jk is stupid in love (emphasis on stupid), mentions of violence (very brief and i don’t go into too much detail but just to warn yall), slight nsfw (sex is a big topic for like half of this but not sex is had...i know im shocked too), half of this is background info/setting up the story the other half is finally addressing the summary lolol, jk is kind of an asshole but he has reasons!!!!!

authors note ↬ hello lovelies! here’s a small little thing for you all (laughs in 10k word count). this has been sitting in my drafts for fucking ever and i just needed to get it out there and out of my hands. im thinking about writing a part two where the actual ~*/sex/*~ is had but im still on the fence about that. please let me know what you think! i literally crave your interactions so pls dont be shy,,,,,okay love you bye :)

(ps i was so close to naming this Rewrite the Stars but since this has absolutely nothing to do with The Greatest Showman i didn’t. but i was close,,,,so fucking close)

You always knew Jeon Jungkook was destined for great things.

It was written in the stars, your mother had told you after he had first stepped foot into your family-owned grocery store. Your mother didn’t have any special powers, she just had a thing for astrology. While you normally shrugged off her random proclamations about divine intervention and planetary alignments, you found that Jungkook was something you couldn’t ignore or chalk up as your mother’s latest tea leaf reading.

From the moment you set eyes on him you knew he was different. While your family held zero claim to any sort of mystical or magical inclinations, you were well aware of those who did. It was no secret that non-humans roamed the Earth in plain sight, even though it had taken humans eons to realize this. After years of savage wars and civil unrest, agreements had come into place and governing bodies were adjusted to accept the changes that had finally been made. But, this was all before your time. You were the generation that was born into the period of peace, the first children to not experience bloodshed before they could walk. The world you knew now was almost a complete one-eighty of what it had been.

Where before those who were not of human blood had to do everything they could to blend in, now could be free of the shadows. Your classrooms had both humans and non-humans in their rosters. Some of your teachers were hybrids. Curriculum expanded to teach humans about a world that had once been entirely unknown to them. One of your favorite teachers was a witch who regaled your tenth grade class with stories of goblin wars, wizard duels, and vampire covens. All tales that you had once thought were nothing but fiction were now anything but.

Which is why, the second Jeon Jungkook entered the grocery store that your parents owned and that you had worked at since you were old enough to speak in full sentences, you knew who he was. You didn’t even question it.

He was a werewolf. A powerful one. You could see it in the way he carried himself. The purposeful strides he took down the narrow aisles, the confidence in his broad shoulders. Humans weren’t nearly as sensitive as their hybrid counterparts but you also paid attention in your classes. Or, perhaps you were more aware than other humans. Never in your life did you have the issues other faced when meeting a non-human for the first time. You always knew who they were without them having to tell you. You just knew.

So, when Jeon Jungkook stepped up to your register with a bottle of water and some raw beef, you didn’t flinch. Didn’t bend under his dark gaze or shuffle your feet in an awkward attempt to break the silence. Instead, you flashed him your customer service smile and rang up his items. He didn’t say a word as he paid, barely sparing you a second glance as he strode out of the store.

“He’s going to be a great and powerful man,” your mother said in that feathery light voice of hers. “It was written in the stars.”

You couldn’t help but agree.

Jeon Jungkook came into your store everyday for the next month. He bought the same thing every time. A bottle of water and a package of raw beef. The only time he spared you any words was to say thank you or the occasional hello if the sun was shining. Usually, he was alone. Sometimes, he came with a few members of his pack. You liked those days. He smiled a little brighter and talked a little louder when they were around. Especially around Taehyung.

Then, after a month, he didn’t come in. Not for an entire week. From Monday to Sunday, you hadn’t seen a hide nor hair of him. A part of you was worried, so worried that you almost stopped Taehyung in the middle of the street to ask of Jungkook’s whereabouts before realizing how insane that made you look, the other part was chastising yourself for caring. Jeon Jungkook was a customer. Nothing more, nothing less.

The following Monday had come and you had finally stopped glancing at the sliding doors every five minutes. You no longer expected his commanding presence to rock your little world. Instead, you continued your day as if it had been any other. That was, until, Jeon Jungkook stepped through the entrance looking as if he was walking on air. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

“Did you have a good heat?” You asked when he stepped up to your register. Jungkook fumbled the water bottle he had been setting onto the conveyer belt before turning to stare at you.

“What did you just say?”

You didn’t shrink under his intense glare. “I was asking if you enjoyed your heat. Seems like you did.”

“How do you know I was in my rut?”

“Oh, is rut the correct terminology? Sorry, they always interchanged them in class, I was never sure what was appropriate.” You shrugged and rang up his items. “It was kind of obvious, though. You seemed pretty agitated about a week-and-a-half ago, then you disappear for a week, and now you’re back looking happier than ever. If it wasn’t your rut then I want to know where you went on vacation because that’s where I’m heading to next.”

Jungkook laughed. That almost made you jump out of your skin. You had never heard him laugh before. It was throaty, it was deep, and it was wonderful. “I’ll be sure to send you the link to the Airbnb.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

He smirked. “I’m here every day, aren’t I?”

You tilted your head as you accepted the cash he handed to you. “Clearly, you’re not that reliable.”

Jungkook laughed again. It was becoming your new favorite sound. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to appear flaky.”

“You’re forgiven,” you decided as you handed him the plastic bag of his purchases. Teasingly, you added, “just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

He flashed you a smile that showed off his sharpened canines. “Don’t worry, darling. I never make the same mistake twice.”

Jeon Jungkook kept his promise. He showed up everyday, like clockwork. Bought the same thing. Arrived at the same time. The only thing that changed was how he treated you. It wasn’t that he treated you badly before, he had always been polite. But now, he talked to you. He asked you questions and answered yours. More often than not, he laughed.

(It had become your favorite sound.)

For three months, this continued. The two of you had settled into a comfortable routine, something you relied on and expected. Until, he changed that.

Until, Jeon Jungkook asked you out on a date.

“What did you just say?”

“Are you free? Tonight?” You glanced around, almost expecting to see some sort of supermodel posing behind you to explain the absolute absurdity of the situation. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for the hidden cameras. I think I’m getting Punk’d.”

Jungkook sighed and placed both hands on the counter that separated the two of you. “Look at me.” You did. Slowly and warily, but you did. “Does it look like I’m lying to you?”

Narrowing your eyes, you regarded him carefully. He seemed serious. But, then again, do you ever really know someone? “I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen you lie before so I wouldn’t know the difference.”

“Fine. Ask me what color my shirt is.”

“What color is your shirt?”

“White,” he deadpanned. You glanced down at his chest. His shirt was black.

“Jungkook!”

He threw his head back and released a full bellied laugh. Even in your exasperation you couldn’t help but soften a little. “I’m sorry, darling. I couldn’t help myself.” Annoyed, you huffed and spun to face the cash register. Stabbing your finger onto the touchscreen, you ignored Jungkook’s obvious presence on the opposite side of the counter. Until his hand reached around the card reader and grasped a hold of your chin. The warmth of his fingers forced your head to turn to meet his.

“Come to dinner with me.” His voice was nothing but a rumble in his chest, his eyes so black and all-consuming you couldn’t do anything but agree with him. He seemed pleased by your response as his fingers tightened against your skin and a grateful smile flicked past his lips. His gaze darted down to your mouth and your breath froze in your chest.

“Are you going to kiss me?”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to?”

“No.” You tried to shake your head but his grip didn’t allow you much movement. He was taken aback by your answer, a small frown tugging at his mouth. You quickly backtracked to fix the situation. “I don’t want our first kiss to be in a grocery store. That’s a new low that I refuse to reach.”

Jungkook chuckled and tapped your chin gently. “Alright, darling. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Again, he kept his promise to you. He showed up at your parents house exactly at seven, wearing a button-down shirt and slacks. The tulips he had gotten for you was thrust into your hands the moment you opened the door. Flashing him a genuine smile, you hurried into the kitchen to set them in water while your mother grilled him on his birth time. You were quick to drag him away, practically throwing him towards the car as you waved goodbye.

“Sorry,” you sighed as Jungkook opened the passenger door for you. “She has a…thing for astrology. She’s probably creating your star map or whatever right now.”

“It’s okay,” he responded once he got into the drivers seat. “It’s sweet of her to care.”

You snorted. “She’s delusional is what she is.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t believe in astrology?”

“Do you?”

Jungkook shrugged as he pulled out of your dirt driveway. He looked so damn attractive behind the wheel it was honestly unfair. “Not really saying I do or don’t. All I know is that there are a lot of things out there that are out of our control. If believing in the stars and planets helps you gain some of that control back, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“God, don’t talk like that in front of my mother. She’ll want to start dating you.”

He grinned and placed a hand on your knee. “Tell her I’m already taken.”

You didn’t get a chance to respond to that. Not that he didn’t give you one, it was just that you literally had nothing to say. With just one sentence he opened the floodgates of your brain and the amount of thoughts that were flying through your conscious was painful. Anxiety fluttered in your stomach and you pressed your lips together to keep you from word vomiting onto him. No, it was better to keep your mouth shut and let the moment pass.

By the time you reached the restaurant you were a trembling mess of nerves. Were you guys dating? You thought this was just a ‘testing the waters’ date, not a ‘you’re my girlfriend now’ date. Did you have to make it Facebook official? You hated that shit.

Jungkook didn’t comment on your obvious distress, though. He merely placed a hand on the small of your back, ignoring how you jerked in surprise, and led you into the quiet bistro. Nodding politely to the hostess who was practically panting at the sight of him (you honestly couldn’t blame her) and pulled out your chair for you. When he sat down, he started talking. Idle chat at first. Commenting on one of the dishes, asking about the college classes you were taking at your local university. Before you realized it, wine was in your glass and your shoulders were loose. Previous nerves forgotten, you lost yourself in Jungkook. You drank, you ate, you laughed, and genuinely enjoyed his company. Honestly, it was the best date you’d ever been on.

“I have to be honest with you,” Jungkook spoke after he finished his raw steak. “I have an ulterior motive for asking you here tonight.”

“Oh,” you mumbled around the shrimp you had just tossed in your mouth. “So…this isn’t a date?”

“No, it is,” Jungkook clarified quickly around a dry chuckle. He seemed…nervous. It put you on edge immediately. “This is definitely a date. And, also, more.”

“More? What, is this a proposal too?” You were joking. A 100% joking. But Jungkook was staring at you so seriously it made you panic. “Jungkook, if you get down on one knee here I swear-”

“I’m not proposing,” he assured you. “This is something more than that.”

“More?” You parroted. Jungkook sighed.

“Do you know what a true mate is?”

Right there, in that quaint little bistro, on a date with quite possibly the most untouchable man you’d ever met, he explained how you were irrevocably his. His true mate, his soulmate.

Jungkook explained everything in great detail, which you appreciated, because honestly, you had no words. He explained how when he was born, the witch who cared for him told his father that his future glared brightly ahead of him, but only when he met his other half. True mates were rare. Mating was common, the wolves in his pack could have multiple mates or a lifelong one, but true mates were destiny. Someone or something out there had forged the two of you together. You were essentially each others other half. He was made for you and you were made for him.

“But…aren’t true mates only for wolves? I thought it’s impossible for a human to be a true mate,” you asked in a shaky voice once Jungkook took a breath.

“It was supposed to be impossible. Until, I met you.” Jungkook stared at you with a sort of reverence that made your entire body blush. “I have no idea how you are. I’ve spent hours researching. I’ve consulted with members of my pack and others. No one knows why.”

“Are you sure, though? I mean…what if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not.” Jungkook shook his head. “I visited the witch right after I met you. She took one look at me and told me that I had finally found my true mate. She said she’d never seen a future so bright before.”

You had no words for that. For the first time in your life, you were speechless. Jungkook seemed to understand. He let you sit in silence as he paid for the bill and walked you out to the car. The drive back to your parents house was the same. You couldn’t speak. The shock rendered you stupid.

By the time Jungkook pulled into the driveway you still hadn’t spoken a word to each other. You stepped out of the car before he could open the door for you. Walking up to the porch steps in a trance, you didn’t hear him follow you until he clasped your wrist in his hand. Turning to face him, you were surprised to see his brown eyes so big. They practically sparkled in the moonlight and he looked so soft and sweet you nearly melted into the wood beneath your feet.

“Please,” he whispered. “Can you…just - are you okay? You’ve been so quiet. I’m worried I’ve scared you off or something.”

With that voice, it was impossible to deny him. So, you said the first thing that popped in your head. “Do we have to make it Facebook official?”

Jungkook stared at you before bursting into laughter. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

You blushed and glanced down. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I can’t remember my Facebook password so even if you wanted to change it I don’t think it’ll work.”

“So that’s why you never accepted my friend request,” Jungkook teased. Before you could squeak out a response, he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you forward. You kept your arms crossed across your chest but let yourself fall against him.

“Don’t make fun of me,” you whined as you buried your face into his shoulder. He smelled so good, a mixture of pine and spice. “My brain hasn’t worked since you told me I’m yours, so bear with me.”

Jungkook chuckled and gently swayed you from side to side. “Does that mean you’re okay with this? All of this?”

Sighing, you lifted your head up and stepped away from him. Jungkook was not impressed and pulled you back to him. Your heart swelled in your chest and you wrapped your arms around his neck in consolation. “Honestly? I haven’t really processed anything. You’ve had your whole life to come to terms with this. I just found out thirty minutes ago that I’m someone’s soulmate. It’s a lot to take in.”

Jungkook nodded as he tapped his fingers against your hips. “I know. It’s a lot…I’m a lot. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be with me. I won’t-”

Now it was your turn to burst into laughter. You couldn’t believe those words had left his mouth. It was easily the most absurd thing you’d ever heard. “Jungkook, I want to make something very clear. I have no problem being your true mate. That’s not the issue here. Well, there really isn’t an issue. It’s just…hard to believe, I guess. I have to process that this is my new reality.”

“Really?” Jungkook perked up and looked so fucking cute you couldn’t help but cup his cheeks. His skin was so warm despite the cold autumn air that surrounded you both. “You want to do this? Be with me? Be mine?” All you could do was nod. You were so overwhelmed with emotions. The shock was evident, but a piece of you was so happy. You felt whole.

Jungkook’s face split into a wide smile that caused his nose to scrunch up. He wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around. Squealing, you slung your legs around his hips and held on. Normally, you’d rather die than show this much affection to someone. But, this was Jungkook. Your soulmate.

“So…what do we do now?” You asked once Jungkook set you down. “Is there, like, a ceremony or something?”

“I have no idea,” he admitted as he stared down at you. He had a hand against your jaw and was rubbing your cheek tenderly. “I really didn’t think I’d get this far.”

You scoffed at his ridiculousness. While recognizing you were Jungkook’s true mate was going to take some time, believing that he thought you’d deny him was utter nonsense. “What if…what if we date, first?” You suggested timidly. “I know that sounds kind of weird considering we’re supposed to be the loves of each others lives. But, I don’t really know you all that well. And, I think this is going to take sometime for me to get used to. Maybe we should date, get to know each other, and just learn how to be with one another.”

“Whatever you want,” Jungkook agreed. “We can do whatever you want. Just as long as I have you, I’m happy.”

Two years passed.

Two blissful, wonderful years. Two years of dating, two years of loving, two years of being Jeon Jungkook’s. It was everything you could’ve asked for and more. You had never felt so loved and cherished in your entire life. He respected you, he took care of you, and most importantly, he was there for you in every sense. Since the moment you met him, you hadn’t been alone. He hadn’t let you. Jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.

And, it was the same for him. You were there for him when he transitioned into the leader of his pack. You were there when he took over the CEO position from his father and encouraged and supported him every step of the way. You let yourself be loved and in return he let you love him. It was wonderful.

Except, for one tiny thing.

While the emotional aspect of your relationship flourished and bloomed into something beautiful, the physical side remained stagnant. Make out sessions and heavy petting were a norm in your relationship. At first, it didn’t bother you. In fact, you loved that Jungkook was taking things so slow and so seriously. But, eventually, your needs began to grow. You found yourself wanting him in more ways than one, wants that only he could satisfy. Jungkook refused. Every time.

It wasn’t like he refused your every need. No, Jungkook was extremely attentive. When it came to himself, that’s when things got dicy. He had no problem spending hours between your legs, worshipping you until you were crying from the overstimulation. Yet, he wouldn’t let you anywhere near him. Not without lack of trying on your part. The minute your hands went down to his waistband, he pushed you away. Every time you tried to dip your mouth to the obvious bulge in his pants, he lifted you up and kissed you breathless until you forgot your name. It wasn’t until after a year of dating that he finally let you grind on his clothed cock. Even then, he held off until you finished and then walked out with quite possibly the worst case of blue balls. You hated that he did this to himself. The worst part was, you couldn’t understand why.

The one time you had brought it up to him it had resulted in the worst fight the two of you had ever gotten into. It was the only argument that was never really resolved. After the yelling and the tears, all you got out of Jungkook was that mating with a wolf was not pretty. It was extremely dangerous and he refused to put you in that kind of danger. End of discussion. No matter how hard you tried to persuade him or broach the subject, he shut it down. Hard. Eventually, you gave up.

He even spent his ruts away from you. Every three months, he left you for a week. You knew he had a place somewhere up in the mountains and you assumed that’s where he went. You had no idea. There was no point even asking to come along. You loved your boyfriend and didn’t want to purposely give him a heart attack. You hated it when he left. As much as you tried to hide it and convince him that you were just fine, he wasn’t stupid. Being away from him was tough. A piece of you was missing whenever he was gone. And you were only whole again when he returned.

This past week had been one of those weeks. He had left on Sunday for the mountains. He was agitated and clingy, how he normally was pre-rut. Jungkook wouldn’t let you leave his side and you spent most of the weekend on his lap or wrapped in his arms. Not that you minded. When he left your parents house on Sunday night, you’d had to coax him out of the door. Promising him that you’d be okay and that you’d see him next week. It wasn’t until several kisses later did Jungkook finally leave.

While you’d been doing this for two years, it never got easier. More manageable? Sure. But definitely not easier. All you could do was go through the motions. You went to work at the local bakery, came home and helped your mom with dinner, watched TV with your dad before going to bed. Taehyung and Jimin would visit often, threatened by Jungkook to keep you company. While you assured them it wasn’t necessary, you secretly didn’t mind. They made you laugh and made you temporarily forget your boyfriend was miles away from you. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he’d call you to tell you goodnight. But those times were rare. Normally, you didn’t hear from him until Friday or Saturday when he was finally coming out of his rut and returning to the world.

By the time Sunday rolled around, you were a jittery ball of nerves. Not in a bad sense. You were just excited. The anticipation killed you and it took all of your willpower to sit and wait for his text to tell you to come over. Your parents always left you alone on these Sundays, unable to deal with your hyperactiveness and constant fidgeting.

This Sunday was no different. You puttered around your room for the better part of the day. You spent the other part in the kitchen, baking like your life depended on it. Jungkook loved your cookies and you always made sure to come over with at least three batches after his ruts. He always said that was his second favorite part about coming home, after seeing you, of course.

You had just finished packaging the final batch in a glass cookie jar when your phone dinged. You didn’t have to read the message, you knew exactly what it said. Pure joy rushed through your system as you threw on your coat and shouted a hasty goodbye to your parents. Juggling the cookies and car keys, you sprinted to your car. The drive to Jungkook’s was thankfully not long. About ten minutes, as long as you didn’t hit any traffic on the main road. Luck was on your side, though, and you showed up at Jungkook’s house in eight minutes.

Taehyung’s car was in the driveway when you pulled up, which wasn’t odd. Although Jungkook owned the house, the members of his pack were almost always around. While most preferred to travel in their wolf forms, you knew Taehyung and Namjoon preferred cars. Something about being able to listen to their own music without comments from the peanut gallery. You didn’t really understand and didn’t really need to. You had just chalked it up as one of their many quirks.

Carrying the trays of cookies in both hands, you shut your car door with your foot before speed-walking up the stone walkway to Jungkook’s home. The screen door was shut, but the wooden door was swung wide open. You had just reached for the metal handle when you heard it.

A deep, threatening growl ripped through the peaceful quiet and froze you in place. You knew it was Jungkook. While you had only heard it once, you’d never forgotten it. It was when the two of you had attended a party and an alpha from a neighboring pack had cornered you in the hallway. Jungkook had found you cowered against the wall as the other alpha had caged you in. The sound that had left his chest had given you equal parts comfort and fear. Comfort, because he was there and you knew you were safe. Fear, because you could see in the way he bared his teeth and how his muscles vibrated, he had been furious and bloodthirsty.

That’s what you felt now, fear.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

From your vantage point in front of the screen door, you could see directly into the kitchen. Taehyung was leaning against the granite countertop and Jungkook was seated at the island. The tension was so thick you practically choked on it.

“Enough, Taehyung.”

“No,” Taehyung snapped, seeming just as angry as Jungkook. “I’m not dropping it. Not this time.”

“Yes, you will,” Jungkook snarled. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Too fucking bad.” While Taehyung was also an alpha, he acted so much like a beta you never really noticed. Until now. “I’m not going to sit by and watch you do this to yourself anymore. Not spending your ruts correctly is only causing you more harm than good.”

“I’m doing things the way I want to, and it’s working-”

“The hell it is!” Jungkook growled at the interruption but Taehyung ignored him. “It’s not working, and you know it. Anyone with two fucking eyes knows it. It’s getting so bad that the pack is noticing, too. Even Namjoon has realized something is wrong, and he’s as oblivious as they come.”

“If they have a problem with me they can take it up with me.”

“No, they can’t. Because you won’t listen. Your head is so far up your ass you can’t even hear yourself anymore. What you’re doing right now is not working. Something needs to change.”

“Like what?” Jungkook spat.

“You know what,” Taehyung bit back. Jungkook was practically vibrating from rage. You knew you needed to go get someone, someone from the pack to calm the two of them down. Things were only escalating, but you couldn’t move. Your brain screamed at you to run but your legs were rooted in place. “That’s is what’s so frustrating, Jungkook. This, all of this, could be solved. She’s right there-”

“Don’t.” Jungkook stood up so fast the chair he sat on flew backwards and hit the wall with a resounding crack.

“Why?” Taehyung threw his arms up in the air. “Why not? I don’t get it-”

“Because I don’t want her!” Jungkook yelled, the force of it rang throughout the house. You had no idea who the she was that they were referring to. You assumed it was someone from the pack. It was well-known that wolves with human mates sometimes turned to other she-wolves to help with their ruts. You figured that’s what Jungkook did whenever he went away for a week. It had bothered you at first, but you knew he had his needs and that they were at a biological level. You refused to make him feel guilty or ashamed for taking care of himself.

“You don’t want her?” Taehyung was enraged. You could tell by the way he straightened his spine and unfurled himself to his full height. Jungkook bristled in response and the muscles in his back strained against the thin material of his shirt.

“No, I don’t!” Jungkook exploded. “What don’t you understand about that? I don’t want her around me. I don’t need her, I’m fine on my own. The thought of having her there when…God - it makes me physically ill.”

“She’s your girlfriend. Above all of that, your true mate. You’re seriously going to deny yourself of her, for what? Just because you don’t like having her around?”

Oh.

That’s when it hit you. They weren’t talking about some random she-wolf. They were talking about you. You were the one Jungkook didn’t want. You were the one Jungkook didn’t need. You were the one he didn’t like having around. As the weight of the words sunk into your mind, you felt your chest becoming tighter and tighter.

Then, you’re heart broke right in half. You dropped the container of cookies and didn’t flinch when it shattered against the wooden slats. The sound unstuck your feet from their position on the porch and your fight or flight system took over. Without a second thought, you turned on your heel and ran.

You didn’t know if anyone was behind you, you didn’t turn around to check. Hands fumbled for the car door as you threw yourself into the drivers side. Pain ricocheted throughout your chest cavity and you struggled to breathe. Your brain was blank, the only thing your mind did was move your body to get you somewhere safe. You had to leave and you had to leave now.

Miraculously, your fingers found your keys and inserted them into the ignition on the second try. A flutter of movement occurred to the left of you but your eyes didn’t let you look that way. Instead, they focused on the rearview mirror as you reversed out of the driveway. Your right hand found the gearshift and moved it to drive. Soon, you were tearing down the street as your ears refused to register the agonized howls that echoed behind as you kept staring forward. Adrenaline pumped through your system and your body shivered in response, the splash of hormones had created a blanket of fake calm over you. The emotions, the pain, the thoughts were swirling inside of you, ready to break free and drown you, but your brain wouldn’t allow it.

It wasn’t until you reached the end of your long driveway that you felt the original spike of adrenaline fade away. Your mother was in the front, tending to the flowers, and looked up when she saw your car fly into its usual spot. She stood up and her face twisted into a frown when you got out of your seat.

“Honey, your aura…it’s concerning.” The blanket was yanked away and the pain crashed over you.

You couldn’t say a word, all you could do was collapse in your mother's arms and cry, cry, cry.

It took you two days to calm down. The tears had stopped rolling and your shoulders no longer shook from trying to hold your sobs behind your teeth. Your mother hadn’t left your side, leaving your father to answer the door whenever someone knocked. The only person who did was Taehyung and Jimin. Jungkook never showed up.

Well, that was a lie.

Jungkook did show up every morning and night, without fail. But he never came to your doorstep.  Instead, he was in the woods behind your house, patrolling, not daring to leave the protection of the forest. A part of you wondered if he was respecting your obvious need for space or if your mother had paid a witch to set up boundary lines that didn’t allow him to cross. Either way, you were grateful that you couldn’t see him. There was an incessant tugging in your heart to be near him but you staunchly ignored it, which would’ve been impossible if you saw his achingly beautiful face.

I don’t want her. I don’t need her. Having her there makes me physically ill. Those three sentences played in a constant loop in your head, like a horror movie you couldn’t escape from. You were the protagonist who couldn’t escape the maze, but the villain wasn’t kind enough to kill you off. No matter what you did, your brain wouldn’t stop repeating those three sentences. Your mother burned sage, she pressed crystals into your palms, she muttered ritual after ritual, but nothing worked.

You hated how affected you were. You had always told yourself that you would never be the girl who’d get so wrapped up in someone else they didn’t know who they were anymore. Independence was something you prided yourself on, but you seemed to be at a complete loss now. You couldn’t stop the waves of sadness and self-hatred at your depressed state. It was amazing how empty you felt yet so full of pain at the same time. Your mind and heart couldn’t seem to decide which hurt worse; your heart for having your soulmate so obviously reject you, or your brain for trying to make sense of the situation. When did this happen? How did this happen? How had you been so blind as to not see it?

“I don’t think we’re soulmates,” you rasped to your mom on the third morning. It had been the first words you had spoken to her since you had fell into her arms. She looked up from the bundle of herbs she was smoking.

“Why do you say that?”

You stared at your hands that had curled in on themselves. “I don’t make him happy. I-I never realized how uncomfortable I made him. I wish I had known. How did I miss it?”

Your mother tutted gently and gathered you in her arms. She smelled of lavender and wax. “This is good. I’m glad you’re letting yourself have this moment. Let’s sit in this and allow yourself to be embedded here.” But you didn’t want to have this moment. You didn’t want to have any moment and you’ve felt enough to last a lifetime. Instead, you rolled over, let sleep overtake you and tried to ignore the distant howling that rattled your window pane.

By nightfall of the fourth day, you were forced out of bed. Partly by choice, partly by force. Your parents had dipped out to run to the grocery store, despite your mother’s insistence that she could stay. You and your father managed to convince her to leave and you had gotten up to wave them goodbye. Sure, your heart was broken, but the least you could do was kiss them on the cheek before they left. You had turned around to shuffle into the kitchen to try and shovel something down your dry throat when a loud knock sounded at the front door. Hesitating, you carefully peeked through the kitchen window and saw Jimin on your front doorstep, dressed in all black.

Sighing, you stumbled over and pulled the door open. You figured you couldn’t avoid them for much longer. “Hey, Jimin.”

“Christ, you look like shit.”

You huffed out a laugh as Jimin stared at you in horror, not having the energy to be offended. You also knew, in a weird way, that this was Jimin’s way of caring for you. “Yeah. My mother’s covered all the mirrors in the house.”

Jimin nodded as he glanced at you from head to toe. “I want to ask if you’re okay but…” He gestured to your gaunt frame swaddled in a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants. For the first time in two years, they were your own clothes, not Jungkook’s.

“I’m fine, Jimin,” you heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the doorframe. “Do you want to come in? I think my mom boiled some tea not too long ago.”

Jimin shook his head. “Can’t. Jungkook would have a fit if I got that close to you right now. I’m already pushing my luck just by showing up.” He doesn’t care, you thought bitterly, and almost said it out loud but you caught yourself at the last second. Jimin wasn’t stupid, though. He knew what you were thinking. “Hey,” he murmured, eyes going soft, “are you ready to talk about it?”

“No.” You shook your head. A wave of sadness washed over you but the telltale prick of tears didn’t come.

Jimin understood. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he rocked back onto his heels. “Are you going to talk to him?”

Letting out a heavy breath, you crossed your arms over your chest. “I know I have to. I just…I just need time.”

“Take however long you need.”

It was another 48-hours before you finally snapped. While you had spent the majority of the two days that had passed to make yourself resemble a human being, you couldn’t focus. You couldn’t move on. Why?

Because Jungkook wouldn’t leave you alone.

His presence was constant. He circled your house every hour of ever day, the large shadow of him in wolf form darkened the trees behind your house. The howling had stopped but the pacing hadn’t. You hoped he was at least sleeping, but then you got annoyed at yourself for caring. You didn’t know why he was out there, it made no sense. Jungkook’s words were so different from his actions it made your head spin.

But, you needed to move on with your life. You had to. The only way it was going to happen was if Jungkook did too. It hurt. God, did it hurt. Yet, as sad and utterly pathetic as it sounded, you were used to the pain at this point, had resigned yourself to it. A part of you worried you wouldn’t know what to do without it.

Shaking off that depressing thought, you tugged on your rain boots and stepped outside for the first time in a week. The air was heavy with the promise of rain, the clouds low and gray. You tugged the hood up on your sweater to prevent your hair from completely frizzing out before you walked to down the back deck steps.

The backyard of your parents house was expansive. The home you had grown up in sat on top of a sloping hill that your mother had turned into her personal greenhouse. You stepped past rows of raised garden beds and pruned plants until you reached the line where the neatly mowed grass met the twisted ferns of the forest floor. As you had suspected, the ground was scorched with the evidence of past rituals. While your mother hadn’t out right admitted, you had figured someone had come and created a boundary line. It was obviously specific to Jungkook since Jimin and Taehyung were still able to visit. While your mother’s methods were extreme, you understood. As difficult as it was to move on with your life with Jungkook sequestered to the forest, you couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like if he was within a few feet of you.

With a deep inhale, you sat down on the damp grass and waited. After a few minutes, you could hear the faint sounds of paws hitting the wet earth. The galloping got louder and louder until there was a momentary stretch of silence before it changed to footsteps.

When Jungkook emerged from the trees, you weren’t prepared. Although you knew you wouldn’t be, you still weren’t expecting it to hurt this bad. Your chest squeezed painfully at the first look of his broad form. Technically, it had been two weeks since you two had truly seen each other, the longest you’d ever gone. What hurt the most was how badly you longed for him. You wanted nothing more than to run straight into his arms, bury your face into his chest, and forget everything. Just forgive and give your heart what it wanted. But you remained firmly in place.

Jungkook looked as if he had seen a ghost. Which, to be fair, was probably true since you hadn’t seen the sun in seven days. His normally golden skin was pale and even from where you sat you could see the dark circles bruising under his eyes. Clearly, he hadn’t been sleeping. You hated that you noticed. You hated that you cared. He was dressed in all black and his chest strained against the material of his sweater. His hands were balled into tight fists at his side and the sight reminded you of why you were here.

“Hi.” Probably wasn’t the best start but it was the best you could do. Jungkook didn’t respond so you soldiered on. “I-I know you don’t want to be here, so I’ll make this quick. I just…wanted to apologize. I had no idea I made you so uncomfortable. I’m not sure how long you’ve felt this way about me, not that it really matters, but I wish you had told me sooner. Maybe things would’ve been easier for you, who knows.” You released a heavy sigh and tried to shove down the stone in your throat as you forced the next words out of your mouth. “But, all of that doesn’t matter anymore. I think I understand what you need, now. I know you loved me at one point, but I’m obviously not what you need anymore. And…t-that’s okay - I swear it is. All I want is for you to be happy, Jungkook. And I think, in order for that to happen, I need to move on. We both need to move on-”

“Stop it,” Jungkook broke in with a harsh voice that cut your sentence in half. “Stop talking.”

It felt like he had slapped you in the face. A wave of humiliation washed over you and you visibly flinched. Staggering to your feet, you locked your gaze onto your boots in an attempt to hide the tears that dripped down your nose. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, not expecting it to change anything. You began to turn away but Jungkook stopped you in your tracks, again.

“Wait, no - stop. Stop. Please…don’t go,” he pleaded. When you turned around, his eyes were frantic. Jungkook’s hand was raised from his side as if he thought about reaching out to you but something stopped him. His words were at war with one another and you were caught in the middle, at a loss for what he was trying so desperately to convey to you.

“Jungkook, I’m so confused.”

“I know. I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.” Jungkook tucked his head into his hands before dropping down into a squat. “This is all wrong. This is all so wrong.”

You knew you should walk away. You had said your piece, it was time to move on, just as you had said. Yet, you couldn’t. It was as if your heart was tethered to him and your body couldn’t handle the pain of walking away. “Listen-”

“I don’t know what to do.” He cut you off but the bubbles of anger that had risen from being interrupted popped once you saw how lost he looked. His tattooed fingers threaded through his hair, allowing you to see the pure anguish that twisted his features. “Whenever I feel like this, I come to you. Because you always know what to do. Any situation, no matter what, you can handle it. It’s something I’ve always admired about you.”

The way he spoke to you now, so reverently and so full of awe, made your head spin. Nothing made sense.  It was such a blatant contrast to the brutality that he had spat out a week ago. As much as you wanted to believe what he said now, those stupid words could not get out of your head. It was a constant reminder that never shut up.

“I don’t know what to do either,” you admitted in a quiet voice.

“Tell me,” Jungkook begged, as if he couldn’t and refused to comprehend what you had just told him. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Whatever you want from me, I’ll give you.”

You were shaking your head before he could finish. “There’s nothing you can do, Jungkook. Nothing.”

“Don’t say that.” He stared at you, horrified. “Don’t say that to me. Please, there has to be something.”

“What could there be?” You cried. Tears streamed down your cheeks now. “You said it yourself, being near me makes you sick. Why would I stay? Why would you want me to? I refuse to make you uncomfortable anymore - so that’s that.”

“It isn’t,” Jungkook argued back. “It can’t be. I-I can’t lose you, I can’t. I need to make this right, please just let me. Please.”

But, you were tired. You were so fucking tired. You were exhausted of the emotional rollercoaster that you were on that you just wanted to crawl away and hide. All the fight seeped out of you as your shoulders slumped forward. Jungkook saw this and the blood drained from his face. You were giving up, he could see it, and it scared the shit out of him.

“Jungkook, I need to go, okay? I-I can’t do this.”

“No!” Jungkook shouted and shot up to his feet. The pure panic that choked his voice brought on a fresh set of tears that you struggled to hold back. “Just let me explain, okay? I swear to God, after you hear what I have to say, if you still want me to, I’ll let you go. I won’t fight you on it. But, please let me tell you the truth. Give me a chance to make this right. You deserve that.”

You hesitated for a moment. Deep down, you knew you should let him talk. Not because you necessarily thought he deserved to, but because he was right. You did deserve the truth, no matter how much it broke your heart. With a heavy sigh and a quick swipe of your cheeks, you nodded. Once Jungkook was sure you weren’t going to leave, he began pacing. Looking every bit like the wild animal you knew him to be but never got to see.

“Mating with a werewolf is…brutal. It’s intense, it’s painful and it isn’t pretty. It’s essentially a breeding session where I use you as a vessel to fulfill my innate biological needs. It’s not romantic, it’s not gentle. Even for she-wolves it can be too much. The thought of subjecting you to something like that - that type of pain…I couldn’t fathom it. I don’t think you understand just how precious you are to me. The image of you being battered and bruised because of me, something I did…it tormented me, day and night.” He paused for a moment, the pained look in his eyes made you shiver. You hated that he had gone through all of this turmoil on his own, and you especially hated how you never made more of an effort to try and relieve him of it.

“I couldn’t do it. That’s partially the reason I waited so long to tell you that you were my true mate. I knew ruts were something I would never expose you to even though it’s such a huge part of my life, a wolf’s life.” Jungkook looked you straight in the eye, the intensity of his dark gaze took your breath away. “I know the practices other wolves partake in when their own heats or ruts arrive. I know you know them too. But, I need you to understand something. The moment you allowed me to be yours and vice versa, I haven’t had anyone else since. I swear on my life, I’ve spent every single one of my ruts alone. I wouldn’t and I won’t do that to you.”

“Isn’t that painful, though?” Your voice cracked but neither one of you acknowledged it. While your knowledge on ruts were expansive, having done plenty of research since being with Jungkook, you had obviously never experienced one.

“It’s manageable. It’s way more painful for a she-wolf to go through her heat alone than it is for a male.” Jungkook clenched and unclenched his fists as he resumed his pacing. “The worst part is being away from you. I’ve been going through ruts since puberty, I can handle them. But not being able to be with you for a whole week…I hated it. Still do. I dread that three month mark. And as time went on, I became more and more miserable. Being apart from you was almost unbearable but the other option…I never even allowed myself to consider it.

“It came to the point where the pack was noticing. I wasn’t getting the proper pheromonal release from my ruts and it was beginning to affect those around me. Taehyung has been on my ass for months now to get over myself and take you with me during my next rut. Each time I’d give him some excuse, but it was getting harder and harder to justify what I was doing. At first, I was convinced it was because I was protecting you. But you’ve been so understanding and so patient with me and my life, those excuses were becoming useless. Eventually, I think it was because I was protecting myself. I was - am - so scared. I’m terrified that I could hurt you when I’m like that. That I wouldn’t be able to notice or worse, ignored, if something happened to you. Living with that type of fear became debilitating. So, I just kept my mouth shut and kept you away from that part of me.”

Jungkook shook his head and chuckled humorlessly. “Now I know that was the worst possible thing I could do. That I was just hurting you more. What you walked into last Sunday was a culmination of my frustrations that I was refusing to deal with. While it’s not a valid reason, I’m well aware of that, I need you to know that what you heard was not the truth. It couldn’t be further from it. Because the truth is that I’m hopelessly in love with you and the thought of being without you hurts worse than I ever thought was possible.”

It wasn’t the first nor would it be the last time that Jungkook left you speechless. It took you a full minute to process what he had said. Jungkook granted you the silence although he became increasingly more agitated as time passed. His boots scuffed the dead leaves that littered the ground and his pacing led him closer to the ashes that lay before your feet. Then, he’d suddenly stalk off with a growl as he was forced to keep away.

“I-” you cleared your throat around the lump that had found a home there. “I had no idea. This whole time…I thought it was because you didn’t want me.”

“God, no.” Jungkook swore heavily as his muscles bunched and coiled beneath his clothes. “The - the fact that…you - fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. That’s not it, that’s not it at all. You’re my dream girl, you’re the love of my life, and I want you every second of every day.”

Maybe it’s because you were emotionally drained and had no mental strength left. Maybe, you needed to hear those words from Jungkook more than you realized. Whatever the reason was, it wasn’t worth trying to figure out an explanation as you sunk to the ground and burst into tears.

Jungkook lost it across from you. Broken whines stained the air as he carded through his hair anxiously. He kept trying to get to you, to try to soothe you. But the boundary was unfortunately doing its job and each attempt was met with failure. Curses were spat out until eventually, he got as close as the boundary would let him and fell to his knees. He began spewing whatever came to mind first, unsure of what to do. All he knew was that you were crying because of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He thought hearing you cry from your bedroom window was torture, but nothing could compare to hearing you break down in front of him. Nothing. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m sorry…please, I’m so sorry. I - don’t cry, darling. Please don’t. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, I swear.”

It wasn’t tears of heartbreak that leaked from your eyes. Instead, it was tears of relief. While your heart had wholly accepted his words as the truth, the logical part of you reminded yourself that the two of you had way more talking to do. This was far from over, but the relief of knowing that he loved you and he was yours…it was indescribable.

You finally lifted your head up and were shocked to find Jungkook’s cheeks glistening with moisture. Your only thought was to comfort him as you scrambled forward to do just that. Instead of feeling his smooth skin against the palm of your hand, you were blocked by what felt like a wall although nothing stood in your way. Frowning, you realized with a start that the boundary worked both ways. Jungkook let out a frustrated growl as he glared at the ashes that was stopping both of you from getting what you wanted. It was silent for a few moments until an idea popped into your head.

“Wait here,” you announced before jumping up and taking off for the house. Ignoring Jungkook’s distressed cry, you ran inside. You yanked your car keys off from their designated hook and quickly typed out a text to your parents to let them know where you were going before spinning around and sprinting back outside. Jungkook was where you left him, although he stumbled to his feet when he saw you reappear.

“I’m going to your house,” you announced, breathless. “No witch is stupid enough to go that far into werewolf territory. If you want to talk to me there, then follow me.”

Jungkook stared at you for a heartbeat until the words you spoke clicked. “Y-yeah. Yes. Okay. I’ll be there.”

With a curt nod, you ran to your car. For the first time in a week, a faint sprout of hope bloomed in your chest.

It was the longest and shortest ten minutes of your life. The drive to Jungkook’s seemed to last a lifetime but also was over within a blink of an eye. The tears had stopped flowing by the time you pulled your car into his driveway, but you felt the telltale prick in your eyes when you saw him burst from the trees. Your heart ached as his long legs ate up the distance between you two as you wrestled with your seatbelt and threw the car into park. By the time you freed yourself, he was at the hood of your car.

The two of you stared at each other for a few breathless moments. You weren’t sure who moved first, but it didn’t matter as you crashed into each other’s arms. The moment his searing warmth enveloped you, you dissolved into another puddle of sobs. The feeling of his thick arms banded across your back, his torso molded to yours, and his hair tickling your ear, felt so right. Another wave of crippling relief washed over you and you practically melted against Jungkook. But he held you up, just like he always had.

He leaned against the front bumper while his hands were everywhere. Cradling your head into his neck, smoothing over your hips, or running circles over your shoulders. He was crying, you could feel the tears dampening your hair. But you were soaking his shirt so no one was in any position to complain.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t,” Jungkook hissed fiercely as he squeezed you tighter. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, not in the slightest.”

“Kook,” you sighed and pulled your head back to get a good look at him. “It takes two to tango.”

“Not this time,” he argued. “You’ve put up with so much. You’re everything I could’ve asked for and more. It was my own fears that got in the way and created this mess. And I’m so sorry for that, darling. I’m so fucking sorry.”

You shushed him gently, running your thumbs over his cheeks to swipe at the dried tears. “I know you’re sorry. I believe you.”

Jungkook dipped his head further into your touch with a pleased rumble vibrating through his chest. He kissed your palm gently, sniffing at your wrist. It made you giggle. “Missed that,” Jungkook mumbled as he stared at you with stars in his eyes. “Missed you. Missed you so much.”

A fresh wave of tears cascaded down your cheeks. You were positive that you looked like a mess, hair in a knotted bun, face red and puffy and you kept sniffling every two seconds. But Jungkook looked at you as if you held the world in your hands. “Missed you too,” you murmured in return. “Please, next time, just talk to me. I may not have the answers you’re looking for all the time, but I’ll always be here to listen.”

“I know,” Jungkook whispered. “There won’t be a next time, promise. If I happen to be stupid enough to put us in this position again, I give you full permission to punch me in the face.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You lifted yourself onto your toes to brush your lips against his, dropping back down to your feet when his head chased after yours. “Or maybe I just won’t kiss you for a week.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened comically and he actually looked terrified. “I’d rather you just punched me in the face.” You tilted your head back and laughed. Jungkook tugged you closer and nosed your throat before peppering gentle kisses along the exposed skin. Sighing happily, you tilted your head to allow him better access and rested your cheek on his shoulder.

“I love you,” you said quietly. Jungkook froze for a split second before he sank against you. Squeaking in shock, you scrambled to brace yourself against the sudden weight pressing you towards the house.

“Say it again,” Jungkook pleaded. You couldn’t deny him. Dusting feather light kisses to the shell of his ear, you repeated those three words again, and again, and again. Each time you did, Jungkook held you a little tighter and cried a little harder.

Eventually, you’re murmured promises became softer and softer until the two of you just enjoyed each others presence. “C’mon,” you finally whispered as you started to lift yourself off of him. Jungkook growled and refused to let you move an inch farther. “Kook, come on. Let’s go inside. Your ass must be numb by now.”

“Don’t care,” he grumbled but he at least shuffled forward a bit more so that your combined weight wasn’t squashing his ass against your car.

“You might say that now, but you won’t be saying that later.”

Jungkook grunted at your logic but he at least raised his head and looked at you with the sweetest eyes. “Please tell me you’re staying.”

Giggling, you asked, “do you want me to?”

“Obviously,” he scoffed. “I want you here forever.” Jungkook tilted his head thoughtfully. “Actually, you should just move in with me.”

Christ, this boy was going to give you whiplash. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Jungkook, we just made up. The whole reason we were in this mess is because of poor communication. Don’t you think we should work on that first before anything else?”

“But…we could work on communication all the time if we’re together 24/7.” Despite his pout, you knew he wasn’t totally serious. Although you were sure it was going to come up again.

“Alright, you maniac,” you said fondly. “Take me to bed.” Jungkook’s chest rumbled happily as he lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his trim waist.

It wasn’t a long walk to his bedroom, but the exhaustion of the past week caught up to you and the gentle rocking of his steps lulled you into a serene state. Not quite asleep, but not quite awake either. You were aware when Jungkook placed you on his bed, practically engulfed in his scent. The last thing you remember before falling asleep was the words Jungkook pressed into your hair has he slid in behind you.

“Love you forever, my darling girl.”

©jcwritings Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.

LINKS:

masterlist

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TAGLIST:

yzkyzkuniverse

[atlabeth]

because i love you - spencer reid x fem!reader

summary: spencer has a best friend in one of the secretaries at the office, but after a case nearly goes very wrong, he can't seem to figure out why she's mad at him.

a/n: hey yall..,. this is my first cm fic and i dont know if im gonna write another one but. im dipping my toes into the water. im going. im not confident in my ability to write these characters at all but its cool. its chill. its aight. is it? idk. i wrote this very quickly and it is NOT proofread so i apologize if it's a fucking mess lmao!

warning(s): cursing, mentions of violence on past cases, y/n and spencer both being little shits, argument between them but it all ends in fluff <3

wc: 2.5k

Spencer could tell that you were mad at him.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out — the way that you avoided him in the office, how short you were with him when you actually did talk to him, you just ignoring him as a whole unless it was related to business? He hated it.

Just this morning, he had entered Garcia’s office to ask her about something regarding a detail for one of his files, and you had been in there chatting with her. When you had spotted him, you had made up some shoddy excuse, dropped off the papers in your hands, and gotten out as quickly as possible.

(“Garcia, do you know what’s wrong with her?” he asked, brows furrowing as he watched you leave.

Penelope sighed as she thumbed through the papers, shaking her head in the process. “Reid, you’re going to have to ask her yourself. I love you, but this is something you have to work out on your own.”

“Garcia—! She’s been avoiding me ever since that last case, but I don’t know what I did wrong. I just want us to get back to normal because this— I don’t like this.”

She sighed as she set the stack of papers on her desk and turned to him. “Reid, as much as I wish I could help you, this is your responsibility.” Her eyes twinkled as she gave him a smile. “Trust me though — I think you’ll be surprised with how it works out.”)

A secretary and an agent — the two of you were a bit of a rare pair around the BAU, but it was a much appreciated friendship on both sides.

Spencer didn’t know how it had taken him so long to meet you, but the first time he laid eyes on you? The easiest word for how he had felt was enchanted. You were beautiful, there was no question about it, but he told himself that you were completely out of his league. Women who looked like you — he had seen enough in college to know that he didn’t stand a chance.

But despite that, he found himself talking to you more and more whenever you had papers to give to him, or whenever you passed by his desk. One night, the two of you were both knee deep in paperwork when almost the entire rest of the office had left; it was a very long four hours after closing hours that you had ended up leaving.

Spencer had finished his in half the time. He stayed so he could keep talking to you as well as keep you company. It was then that he knew he would never be satisfied with just friends — but because there was no way you reciprocated his feelings, it was something that he would have to settle for.

(But really, being friends with you wasn’t settling for anything. No time with you was ever enough, so anything he could get was something he was happy with.)

The more the two of you talked, the more you clicked. You never shut him down on his info dumps, you actually encouraged him to continue — a very welcome first — and you never treated him any differently or made him feel ashamed about the parts of himself others had put him down for.

You made it very clear that you liked every part of him, and soon enough, Spencer Reid had found a dear friend in one of the BAU’s secretaries — or his ‘favorite secretary’, the way you jokingly referred to yourself. If only you knew how true that statement was.

All of this — it was why Spencer couldn’t stand you being mad at him. The two of you had been fine before he left for that case and fine when they all came home, but the next day? Something was wrong, and with the way that you were avoiding him, it looked like Penelope was right. This was something he would have to figure out on his own.

-

“He what?”

Derek sighed and crossed his arms as he leaned against the countertop. “Pretty boy took off his vest while he was trying to deflate the situation — said that it was the only way the unsub would trust him. Reid trusts in the profile more than he should sometimes, and we thought that this guy wouldn’t shoot, but he did. If he didn’t have such shitty aim, then it most likely would’ve gotten him—” he tapped the side of his torso, “—here. He’s lucky it missed. It… it would’ve been bad.”

“God,” you muttered, the coffee in your grip becoming increasingly less appetizing. “I— I can’t believe him. Why would he do that? You— you have those Kevlars for a reason, why would he—?”

Derek shook his head. “No idea. I just… thought you deserved to know. Pretty boy wasn’t going to tell you, and— well, I know that something like this is important to you. You ever gonna tell him how you feel?”

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks as you elbowed him, your anger at Reid temporarily forgotten. “I have no idea what you mean, Morgan. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some— some papers to get to.”

He laughed as he took a step aside to give you room, but his expression softened a bit. “Just— go easy on him, okay?”

You sighed and spared a glance back at him. “No promises.”

-

It had been almost two weeks of this. Almost two weeks straight of no casual talking, no hanging out by his desk in your free time, no lunch breaks spent together, no coffees, nothing. It was driving him crazy. And of course, this was when they didn’t get any cases. Spencer didn’t even have a cross country trip to get this off his mind, or a way to avoid your avoiding of him.

Every time he tried to talk to you, he got nowhere. A mumbled excuse would get you away, or you would suddenly have to print something out right that minute, or there was a phone call you really had to get to. Spencer didn’t know how he was supposed to fix something when he didn’t know what he had done wrong.

But one morning, he was prepared. Spencer was tired of this silent treatment, and he was going to break it one way or another. He had seen you leave Hotch’s office with a stack of papers, and he knew that this was his one chance.

He had gotten up from his desk and all but ran through the bullpen, not even bothering to take the steps as he turned down the hallway, managing to catch you right on the turn. Your eyes flicked up briefly before returning to the end of the hallway, your destination much more interesting than anything Spencer had to say.

“Y/N—” Spencer started, but you cut him off before he could get anything out.

“I don’t have time to talk right now,” you responded curtly.

“You’re walking down a hallway. Besides, you were just with Hotch, so I assume that you’re taking those to Agent Johnson— he was in his office last night, so they’re obviously dealing with something together. You have approximately two minutes and thirty seconds before you get there, so you have enough time to listen to what I have to say.”

“Fine. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Come on!” he pleaded, each of his steps matching two of yours. “Why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not.” You didn’t look up your papers, trying to speed up your pace to get away from him, but with the legs that Spencer had it was hopeless. Right when you were about to turn the corner, he stepped in front of you and blocked your way. The absolute nerve.

“What are you doing?” you fumed, finally forced to make eye contact.

“I want to know why you’re mad at me,” he repeated. “I know you are, you know you are — ever since the last case, you’ve been completely ignoring me on anything other than official business. You’re— you’re avoiding me, and I don’t like it.”

“I’m surprised you don’t already know,” you said, the bitterness not lost on him. “You know, IQ of 187 and all.”

“Look!” he exclaimed, growing more irritated by the second with your beating around the bush. “If— if I did something wrong, then I’m sorry—”

“If you did something wrong?” you scoffed. “God, you are so— ugh!”

Your eyes darted around to ensure that you were alone, then you grabbed his arm and pulled him into an empty conference room. You let go of him then stalked to the other side of the room, dropping your papers on the table to cross your arms.

Spencer looked down at the wrist that you had dragged him in there with and pulled down his ruffled sleeve before fixing you with a disgruntled look. “Well? Are you gonna tell me what your problem is?”

“My problem is you!” you cried, letting one arm loose to gesture with it. “Spencer, you almost got shot!”

“But I didn’t,” he countered. “Things like that are part of the job, you know that. And how did you even know?”

“I—” you paused and pinched the bridge of your nose, muttering curses under your breath. "Morgan told me, but I really wish it had come from you. And I know it’s the job, but you— it’s like you don’t even care, Reid! You just— how many times have you taken off your goddamn vest while trying to talk down an unsub? How many times have you put yourself into danger when you didn’t need to?”

“Around—”

“Don’t answer that!” you interrupted. You pressed the heel of your hand against your forehead and screwed your eyes shut for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “You can’t keep doing that, Spencer!”

“Doing what?” he demanded, taking a step closer in what you took as a challenge. “You— you keep saying how mad you are at me, but you won’t tell me anything about it! How do you expect me to fix anything if you don’t—”

“You can’t keep being so careless!” you yelled, cutting him off once more. “You can’t keep throwing yourself into danger without a second thought!”

“I told you, it’s the job!” He ran a shaky hand through his hair and shook his head, letting loose a long exhale. “Every time I get on that plane, something could happen — you know that. Why— why don’t you treat anyone else like this anytime they do something stupid?”

“Because I love you!”

You immediately clamped your hands over your mouth after the words fell from your lips, taking an instinctual step back as both of your eyes widened.

You’re an idiot. You’re an idiot, god, you’re a fucking idiot — what the hell was wrong with you?

Your crush on Spencer Reid was a secret that you worked very hard to keep, considering that you were constantly surrounded by profilers and nosy people alike almost all hours of the day. It had become something you were aware of about a week after you had met, the very first time that he brought you a coffee. From there, you were doomed to fall completely head over heels for the doctor, despite him showing no signs of reciprocating your feelings.

Luckily for you, Spencer seemed to be completely oblivious to it. Unluckily for you, Spencer seemed to be completely oblivious to it.

But now? Now, there was nothing you could do. You had already started writing your letter of resignation in your head as you stared into each other’s eyes, your own wide with mortification and Spencer’s with something unreadable.

“...you love me?” He posed it like a question, something you thought was completely ridiculous with how you had just made a fool of yourself. Any words were stuck in your throat, so all you could do was nod.

He stood there in silence, the seconds feeling more like years, before he took a step closer. Now more than ever you were focused on his eyes, the way that they stayed trained on your face the entire time, drifting down to your lips for just a second before returning.

Before you knew it, he was standing right in front of you. Spencer placed a finger underneath your chin and tipped it up slowly before meeting your lips in a kiss that you had most definitely not imagined happening before. You returned it eagerly, but it took you a few seconds to register what was actually happening.

“I, uh— I love you too.” He was still so close to you, the proximity already causing your breath to stop, and you were sure that you could’ve passed out with those four words. “And I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

“You… you do?” Any early fury had been extinguished, replaced with confusion, awe, and the unmistakable feeling of being loved.

He loved you.

“Ever since that first day,” he admitted. Spencer’s hand slowly fell back to his side as he took a cautious step back, as if he was doubting his sudden boldness. “I... I knew it after the first night with all that paperwork.”

As a sigh fell from your lips, a huge weight on your shoulders dissolved as well. “I’m sorry,” you said quietly. “For getting mad at you, and avoiding you. But… you get it, don’t you? Why I worry so much?”

Spencer nodded. “I think about you all the time in the field. It— the thought of you, it keeps me going when things are hard. And I always think about how glad I am that you’re back here, away from all the danger. That’s how it is for you, right?”

A small smile formed as you echoed his sentiment. “Exactly. There are so many people that care about you, Spencer, and I’m one of them. Every time you get hurt, it hurts me too. And I don’t want to lose you, so… just be more careful, okay?”

“I will.”

The earlier silence returned — neither of you really knew what to do at that moment. You idled for a second before you picked up your papers from the table, and with a slight push up onto your toes, you kissed him once more. Soft, short, and sweet — but the unsaid promise of more in the future had Spencer smiling into it.

“I, um— I actually do have to get these to Agent Johnson. This has made me really late, but…” You found yourself laughing softly; this whole thing had left you giddy. “But I’ll see you at lunch. Maybe we can grab a coffee and talk about this whole thing.”

“I’d like that,” he said, his smile seemingly stuck on his lips. You felt your cheeks heat up as you returned it, and his eyes remained trained on you as you walked out.

His job was hard, there was no question about it. But you… well, you made it a lot easier.

Spencer considered himself the luckiest man alive to love and be loved by you.

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Hey! If your uncomfortable please ignore this ask, but i was wondering if you could write something similar to malcome & marie? Thank you! Happy belated birthday!

Thank you baby! I actually thought about this ask for a bit. As a community we do NOT support or want anything like that in our lives, okay?

But if you as a reader would be uncomfortable with reading this then do not.

this will be kinda very similar to the plot of malcome & marie sooo....

Pairings: Film creator!tom x used to be sex worker!reader

WE SUPPORT SEX WORKERS. YOU ARE GOLDEN😩🙌🏽

Summary: after a celebration its time for the downfall

Warnings: argueing, slut shamming, smut mentions. Drinking, smoking. Not proof read. TOXIC- suicide mention.

I hopw this is just as confusing as it was in the actual movie, cuz yeah. Pls dont be shy to say something about it. And tbh if it isnt that good to you i dont blame you, its currently 11:16 and i should be asleep.

You and tom walked in, a wide smile on his face as he danced around and shut the front door behind him. “Baby i did it!”

A faint smile played on your lips as you walked to the kitchen “yes you did, tom. You hungry?” You asked, opening the fridge as he went to go get a bottle of remy and two glasses, the rings shinning bright on his finger. “Yeah, can i have uh-“ he thought, stopping in his tracks and jerking his head as he couldnt think of anything.

“How about pancakes?” He randomly said and you chuckled “pancakes? Really?” “Of course! A sweet treat for a very sweet day” he walked up to the kitchen placing the glasses and the remy down.

You laughed again before taking out the pan, he also got to work by getting out the mix and the water while you got everything else. A cigarette in your mouth as tom helped light it while you mixed up the powder with the water.

“I never knew i could make it so far” he muttered, grabbing the remy and pouring it into the glass, tilting his head back and letting out a small moan from the sting in his throat. “You did a good job”

“Ya know, everyone is so judgemental, like i could walk around with my shoes untied and somebody would fucking give me a glare- or even what you call it. a stank eye” you nodded at his words letting him know you were listening, “but when i made that fucking movie i had all these women just- i cant even explain it” he shrugged, walking around the house with the glass in his hand, a wide smile on his face while you sighed and puffed out the smoke, the sizzle from the mix going on the buttered pan audible before he speaked again.

“They just kept on telling me how fucking talented i am, how i get women so fucking well. I mean goddamn im such a fucking genius” he edged on, cocky as he stomped his feet at his words,’ such, a, fucking, genius’

“Yes you are tommy” you looked down and seen the mix bubbling, taking the spatula and flipping the pancake, shifting and leaning on your right leg as your dominant hand sat on your hip, the other holding onto the cig.

“But it’s confusing. Any other time they would probably fucking- what do you call it” he snapped his fingers before taking a sip. “Aha! Fucking cancel me!” He pointed at the ceiling. “Why would they do that tommy” you lifted your eyebrow, “youre only writing a good story” you sighed, looking at the plates and rubbing a mark that was left on them.

“People now days do it just because....just because their bored- or even because they dont like them- BUT-“ he lifted his finger towards you “they have no reason to”

“Mhm, you should wait for the reviews” you took the cigarette and put it in the ash tray, taking the fire out before putting the pancake on the plate.

“They have to be good! I can make fucking millions off of this” he smiled, quickly walking over before chugging his drink.

“Yes...yes you can” “and then we could buy a fucking island, a boat and even a horse!” He laughed, amazed and he set down the glass before coming behind you, pressing kisses to your neck as he watched you put the batter on the pan again.

“What makes you want a horse?” “What makes you think about reviews?” And with that you shrugged “just because a few reporters and new york news writers like it doesnt mean that everyone will”

“Why are you being so negative? Goddamn you bring the worst out of everything y/n” he let you go, and you looked at him, giving him the famous eyes.

“The worst? How about you go fuck yourself” you said, aggressively grabbing the spatula to flip the pancake. “Go fuck myself? Whats your problem”

You stayed silent, wondering if you should just go outside and smoke another cigarette or hear him bitch and moan. “Y/n you have a problem every other fucking day. I try to talk to you but you dont. You rather talk shit and let it marinate” he rested his hands on his hips and starred at you while you bit your lip and put the pancake on the plate, grabbing the syrup you put the right amount for him before aggressively walking to the table and slamming it down.

Your heels clanking against the floor as you made your way to the bathroom. Leaving tom by his self as he let out a harsh sigh and rubbed his chin, thinking about what he should do before finally grabbing a fork to eat his breakfast.

“You know. You do the same shit every night- you curse me out then the next hour you wanna suck my dick or something” you starred at yourself in the mirror, biting the side of your cheek before you took of the heels, then coming back out.

“How dare you, thomas” you said harshly, walking back to him and watching him eat the pancakes. “How about you be fucking mature and stop eating”

“No. I dont wanna fight” he shrugged, cutting the pancakes fancy before he placed them in his mouth. “Your such a fucking bitch” your eyes squinted as you leaned forward.

His eyebrows raised and he cleared his throat “a bitch?” He let out a loud laugh, tilting his head before coming back “i think we both know whos the bitch here”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” “Oh you know exactly what im talking about” and with that your jaw basically droppped to the floor “why are you suprised?”

“Have you ever thought-“ you caught your words before repeating them “im the reason why youre gonna get millions, if i was never there for you. If you were never in my life youd still be in that house that you hated so fucking much” you walked closer.

“Trust me baby you were apart of it, but you sure as hell werent the main character” “then please-please tell me who else was doing sex for money?” You asked, and he didn’t answer, instead continued to eat the pancakes.

That made you more aggressive, quickly walking to the table and snatching the plate. “How dare you have to nerve to talk shit about me while you eat what i made you”

“Fuck you y/n” “no fuck you!” He dropped the fork, his face becoming a shade of red. “Im the reason why youre in this fucking house right now, im the reason why you have that fucking ring on your finger” you said, then put your fingers on your ring.

“Dont you fucking dare take off that 50,000 thousand ring y/n” “why shouldnt i?” “Because you love me dont you, darling?” that made you soften up a bit, taking your fingers off the ring as he smiled, telling you to come over. He sat you on his lap, taking the cigarette out of his jacket that youre wearing, grabbing the lighter from his pocket.

You put the cigarette in your mouth and he repeated the same action, lighting it for you. “I love you y/n”

“Mhm” you smiled, taking out the cigarette to press your lips on his and he rubbing your hips, the passion over the tension in the room. “Oh well i thought the movie was shit, i uh- couldnt help but think thats not how it ends” you teased with an old grandma accent and he laughed.

“Yeah i did to, how does man get with a prostitute and marry them” he teased back making you both laugh. “The movie felt so real, it reminded me of my friend miranda” you playfully said with a more younger high pitched voice.

And it went back and forth, laughs leaving both of your lips until he pushed the buttons “man she really was a thot” your eyebrows furrowed as he laughed to his self. “Man he really was desperate for a blow job” you said in your serious voice “man i wonder why he hooked up with such a thot”

“I didnt mean it like that-“ “fuck you” you got off his lap and walked back to the bathroom. “Here you go again y/n!” He shouted, and you turned back around.

“Your so fucking selfish” “we werent even talking about that-“ “no fuck you. All you do is say i-i-i” you yelled, words strong. He stood up agitated “you know what you wanna argue, lets argue”

“You gave up on me” “if i gave up on you why would i marry you” “our love was strong in the beginning and then you just-became you” you looked at him up and down.

“That was because i was in love with your body” he smiled “really? Why didnt you just leave me on the fucking street!” You yelled again, “because I thought you deserved better, maybe you should still be in that fucking old apartment with fucking big ass rats running through it, men twice your age fucking your loose ass whole”

“FUCK YOU” you shouted pointing at him “maybe i shouldve used that sloopy mouth of yours to stay on my dick so you could stay shutting up” “NO FUCK YOU THOMAS” and with that you walked away, into the room this time before tom followed behind you.

“Please leave me the fuck alone before i flip out on you, please just leave” “no”

“You know what. I feel like once you feel like you gave everything they wanted and more you expect them to stay with your sorry ass” “oh im not sorry. And thats not true” he shrugged, standing infront of the door as you sat on the bed. “Im so embarrassed to call you my husband” you shook your head.

“Why shouldnt i be embarrassed to call you my wife?” He shrugged again, leaning against the door looking at you. “If it werent for me you wouldn’t be as happy as you are now” “what makes you think im happy y/n! Im really not” “and you think i am?!” You looked up at him, getting up and walking to him but he continued to back up, until you both were in the open hallway with a table in the middle of it.

“I was never happy in the first place” you said, eyes starting to tear up. “Dont give me fucking alligators-“ “do you know how embarrassing it is for someone to tell you to get your own fucking ride home because you wanna fuck someone else?” You asked, your voice changed as you wiped under your eye, smuding the makeup.

“I had to ask Harrison to give me a ride home. I was scared tom” you sighed, shoulders becoming slump. “What if i ran into somebody i fucked? And they forced me to have sex with them again or else theyd report me to the police?” You asked, breaking down and falling to the floor while tom watched, guilt and shame all ocer his face as he leaned against the table.

“I watched you with my two own eyes make out with someone then the next day you asked me to ride you. But you wanna slut shame me for being broke and needing to survive, that broke me so much. And i did it” you choked “i gave consent everytime, brusied my knees from getting on them for you. Just to make you happy. I let you get full of yourself and now its all about you” you whispered and he came down to you, holding you and pressing kisses on your hair while you broke down more, hiding away from him. “You let me stay out there on Christmas day” a frown met on his lips, thinking back on the day and how you were probably reallty cold, he knew you couldnt stand it.

“And i gave consent to getting married to you, your such a hoe” he couldnt help but chuckle “no seriously your a hoe to feeds for attention” you made eye contact with him, and then you both broke into laughs, sniffels leaving your lips causally but easily ignored knowing you feel slightly better.

And with that you both beard his phone ding, well multiple dings. You told him to answer it, check it. And it was a review, he stood up and helped you up, walking to the livingroom before going over to grab the glasses and remy, pouring it in both cups you both took one.

“Alright, this is from whats her name....janice!” He said, sitting on the couch and you sat between his legs in the floor, sipping the drink. “Overall the movie was great. But there was a few things that werent right in my opinion-“

With that his eyebrows furrowed, you played with the carpet as you waited for him to continue, he leaned forward with his elbow on his knee using his thumb to scroll. “I couldnt understand why the character had all these strange things about her, why the sex scenes were that necessary”

“Ding ding ding”

“Shut up y/n you arent helping- i don’t understand how jhon and candy got along and became freinds if they continue to have intercourse. What the fuck are you talking about? Bla bla bla” he muttered, skimming through it “how candy and ron got along? Shouldnt they be together of they clicked so well?”

A small laugh left your lips “me and Harrison? That wouldnt be so bad”

“How in the world did they get married? Honestly the whole relationship is toxic, but i see it as they were to late to give it up, they were already in a too tight knot. Thats not true we are madly in love with each other” he jerked his head at the phone.

“Ms janice does have a point” you cleared your throat a bit. “Y/n please. Ms janice has no fucking idea what shes talking about jhon and candy are in love with each other and they have problems sometimes....well most but oh well its not to late either one of them couldve got up and go”

“Not if one loved more then the other and it was to late to go, janice is right tom” you crossed your arms.

“Do you wanna-“ “no tom i dont. Just speaking my opinion, coming from a woman your being pretty harsh about it” “well it wasnt really about candy-“

“That doesnt make any sense, shes the main fucking character” you looked at him. “It was more on how jhon viewd candy” “then why was candy always in camera”

“Because...” he shrugged. “Your so dumb” you got up and sat far away from him on the couch, he eyed you in confusion “isnt that fucking movie based off of my life. Like im some type of experiment and you solved made something out of it” you dozed off, swirling the remy in your glass. “Im not feeding into this” he ignored you, until you got up and barked at him, which he looked at you as if you were crazy before doing it back “fucking prick!” You stomped off out of the livingroom and went outside.

“Fuckin-“ he couldnt come up with anything before he let out something random “fuckin mood swinger-“ you finally took the time to take off your makeup and dress, muttering words about him “thats why he stinks, smellin like a gorrila- asshole- man whore” you took a bath too, you didnt feel your best at the moment.

Tom on the other hand just took off his shoes and aggressively stomped on the pillows, throwing a tantrum and jumping on the couch and punching air, kicking it until he accidentally fell.

By time you were dont he thought about it “harsh?” He questioned and walked into the room, finding you reading a book on the bed with the night light on and a cigarette in your mouth.

“Y/n?” “Yes thomas?” You looked up at him “harsh?” He asked and you tilted your head at him “i wasnt being harsh about it” “mhm” you shut your book and set it on te night stand, he undressed until he was in his underwear and climbed into bed with tou.

“How was i being harsh about it” you sighed and rested the cigarette in the ashtray, not putting it out just yet. “You arent really aware of others feelings tommy” you said simply. “What does that mean?” He asked, crossing his arms and sitting up next to you, both backs against the headboard and he looked at you.

“It meas i loved you more then you loved me” his eyebrows furrowed at the statement “that cant be true” “tom it is. You didnt say it but you did. You only wanted me for my body. My love and soul came later and i was to blind to notice. That was my bad”

“Loved?” He questioned. “I think i started to love you less and got on a even level with you, then we built together” you shrugged, crossed a leg over your other one and crossing your arms to. He let out a small laugh, “you know i never understood why jhon died in the end and why candy committed suicide” you said and his heart sunk a bit low.

He cleared his throat before saying something “i know you’re afraid of losing me, y/n. I never told you this but ive read your journal” he nodded his head and you bit your lip, knowing every single letter you wrote and how much it sucked thinking back about those days.

“I know how much you loved me but hated me. But something really grabbed my heart. ‘I want to keep tom, hes like my soulmate. My hearts gotton closer by every minute and moment ive been with him. Even though i feel like ive been burned by some of the things hes done, id forever love him. Losing him would be like losing me entirely’”

“I still don’t understand” you mutter, silently wondering how he knew word by word. “I took advantage of that. Because when i was done reading it i knew it was true, it is true. I couldnt feel it in my heart, thats why i picked you up and took care of you. I noticed you really care for me and ive done nothing but asked you to suck me off, i thought i was making both of us happy by giving you what you needed, or wanted. I became so happy when we got closer, you told me about your new apartment and i was so excited, but it wasn’t because of me entirely. I wanted you to myself. I needed you to myself and you needed it too. So if you lost me you would lose everything, give up on love.” Everything he said was true, it wasnt what you wanted to hear but he needed you to hear the truth.

“So candy gave up on it” he shrugged “she didnt try because there was no need to, she didn’t think anyone else would love her, ‘without tom i have no one else, i know ive done some un speakable thigns with him but i can tell by his eyes and heart that he wants something, he just wont tell me’” he smiled, quoting off of your journal again with a smile on his lips. “Thats why i try every time to keep this relationship strong, go to therapy with you, kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are everyday, cook you breakfast when i know your trying to do something new”

“So youre only doing this because you dont want me to kill myself?” “No y/n. I did it at first but then i opened my eyes and noticed how much i really fucking love you” he uncrossed his arms and reached for your hand. “And i know you love me too, on a even page” you both shared a crooked smile, using your free hand and grabbing the cigarette and putting it to your lips. The time currently 4:30 in the morning as he reached for the cig, your eyebrows furrowed as you let him take it. “Since when do you smoke?”

“Since i had too much of your bullshit” “shut up” you both laughed, slapping his chest as he handed it back, a small laugh leaving his lips. “Im sorry for giving you such a headache” he muttered and you ignored it, putting out the cigarette and turning off the night light, keeping your distance from him you got under the covers and shut your eyes, and he did the same, turning away from you so you are back to back.

A smell of bacon filled your nose when you woke up, a faint smile on your lips as you got up, walking to the kitchen and finding thomas cooking.

“Whats the special occasion?” “I know youre trying something new”

[thompsborn]

do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.

also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this

ironhusbands:

when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—

he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters

you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.

and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!

when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too

like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.

rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be

and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.

so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.

for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.

rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.

but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.

they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!

so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay

and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too

and thats when tony is like. well.

about that.

he might be calling from a payphone.

on a random street corner.

and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.

rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.

a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™

but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT

and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it

tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now

so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT

rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?

and tonys like wtf are gatherings

and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok

tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough

but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER

so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.

SO MUCH anger

because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and

and he’s gonna fix it

and this is the first step

so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice

tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says

rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off

anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:

rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?

but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—

door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK

of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it

until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time

(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)

sambucky:

firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws

also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected

update from after writing this: i lied

let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve

thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away

children. they are children.

which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway

and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD

and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.

its so funny to me okay its SO funny

its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.

post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess

i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.

okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!

SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.

bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.

also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”

bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop

sam havin a nightmare too

because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.

and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact

but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.

sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck

steve and sam probably got it

the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.

what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.

sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.

therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”

and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.

there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.

its gone, and he gets it.

sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it

it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead

but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”

its the way sam says, “me too.”

and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”

its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but

but its this and its them and that can wait

it can wait

they can take their time if they want to

maybe they’ve earned that much, at least

(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...

when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.

that's what makes it worth the wait.)

[bisaster-energy]

I just rewatched Avengers and I'm fucking LOSING it

I forgot bro...

I forgot how annoying Steve was alsmalmdns

And dont come at me saying that I don't like him simply because I love Tony Stark (as i should!!) Because i remember being so fucking irked when I first watched this movie!! And I just remembered how mad I was when I watched it again cos I forgot like 60% of what was said and what happened tbh

And Steve. Oh my god. Listening to what he said just pissed me off a majority of the film!! Like bruh! What are you doing hon!!

I get it tho like he just woke up, the future is crazy, all his friends are dead it's insane and fucked up!! But jfc his instant dislike for Tony is weird as hell 💀

He doesn't treat anyone else with the same disdain? Like i get it bc Tony has a loud personality and not everyone has to like him ofc

But he's just so...ugh

Like Tony is on the ship next to Steve and they just bagged loki and thor is gonna show up soon. And Tony is doing his normal rambling shit and basically tries to get to know Steve?? At least that's how i saw it? But ig it pissed steve off cos he just ignored what tony said and said "fury didn't tell me he was calling you in" and he just seemed upset that tony was there? Idk if it was because he came late or cos Loki surrendered like moments after tony showed up or cos he made a joke about steve doing pilates to stay spry (lmao) but he didn't seem happy that Tony was there :/

And later Tony's labbing it up with his shiny new science bro Bruce and poking him (cos that's what he does) and obv bruce would tell Tony to cut that shit out if he really was upset by it but all he can say is "ow!!" Before steve busts into the lab like "ARE YOU CRAZY YOUTRYNAKILLUSALL?!?!? no offence doc :)" and bruce is like "ok I'm not gonna hulk out chill" and basically steve is just in there to tell tony off (I seriously wonder if he was camping outside the lab waiting for Tony to do something he didn't like because he came in RIGHT after tony poked Bruce so)

And i get why he would do that but bruh im pretty sure bruce is fine lmao plus he and tony seem to be getting along so far so idk why he thought "dear god the genius is gonna get us all killed with his reckless behavior!!" And went in to save the day lmao. Maybe I'm just being a bitch but if i were steve I'd see if there was a real problem first. And hulk is a scary concept I get it but steve literally said to Bruce that the only thing he cares about is the fact that he can find the tesseract ans yet every chance he gets he's like "careful guys we don't wanna set banner off now do we?" Like bruh if you were concerned about how much of a handle he has on hulk why didn't you just god damn say so instead of lying to this man's face 😔

What I got from the scenes between tony and bruce vs the scenes between steve in bruce is that Tony trusts that bruce could handle being on this mission while steve just...doesnt :/

So naturally Tony thinks something hinky is going on with shield and bruce fuckin agrees cos hell yeah Science Bros plus SHIELD is sus

And steve is like "don't go snooping this is why shield doesn't like you stark >:( now get back to finding that cube" and then he fucked off to literally do exactly what Tony was doing but without hacking.

Are you kidding me?? We always talk about how much of a hypocrite steve was in Ultron when he was mad at tony for keeping secrets and then keeping the Stark murder a secret but this man showed us who he was from the get go lmao

But then they find out *gasp* Tony was right! Big shocker there huh. And SHIELD is super sus and loki is like bruh y'all cant defeat me like this smh

And one of the most MIND BLOWING scenes in this film is where they're all arguing around the scepter, who's being a chaotic little bitch

Now keep in mind, the scepter was definitely influencing everyone but it didn't tell them WHAT to think or say lmao so i have to assume that to some extent they mean that shit

So I'm just supposed to be focusing on steve so sorry for going off topic but Fury turning the topic of the conversation to tony saying how he built his fortune off of weapons?? That shit was uncalled for like bruh...there was a whole movie about his character development and how he shut down his weapons bc he found out they were hurting innocents...

But anyways

Steve takes this opportunity to call tony out for being narcissistic. His evidence? I'll have to get back to you on that cos i have no fucking clue.

Here's the big argument where we get most of our good old anti-steve content tbh:

Steve says tony is nothing without the suit

Again: where is this man's evidence?? Why is he saying these mean things?? AND I KNOW IT'S COS OF THE SCEPTER BUT NO ONE ELSE WAS TALKING FOR THIS LONG OR ZEROING IN ON ONE PERSON SO STFU

He seems upset that tony actually answers his question like...you asked what i was without the suit? (The best part is that natasha did a little head nod, agreeing with tony calling himself "genius billionaire plybiy philanthropist")

says he knows guys worth ten of Tony without any of the stuff he listed

He just met Tony. They haven't even known each other a week and he's ready picking at his insecurities?? Crazy. Plus when steve says "I've seen the footage. The only person you fight for is yourself." Like ok there wasn't exactly a war for him to go and fight in but go off rogers. When was he supposed to fight for other ppl and what makes you say he didn't?? I'm so confused about the thought process here. And the footage he saw? What was it? Him saving people at the Expo? Him fighting terrorists? A sex tape of him that got leaked??

Says Tony wouldn't sacrifice for someone, wouldn't let some guy crawl over him while laying on a wire

Again how does he know that Tony WOULDN'T?? He's just saying random shit at this point and I just cant

And Tony again gives a smart remark because that's what he does plus it's funny

He said he would cut the wire, which is such a tony thing to say tbh. Like,,in Afghanistan they were like "build us weapons or die" basically and he said "I pick the third option" and got the hell outta dodge

And steve is upset by this answer as well! Another shocker. He says "always a way out" like lol why not? Why are you so pissed? What is the issue darling??

And Tony FINALLY stoops to Steve's level of throwing out insults and says "lmao like you?? Bruh your talents came from a science experiment. Your "heroism" came from a bottle you clown" (obv he didn't say it like that what I said was actually meaner tbh i just hate steve)

And the worst thing i think steve said in the entire film: "you may not be a threat but you better stop pretending to be a hero"

I was just VIBRATING with anger at this I was LIVID. Tony has so many damn insecurities and this is not helping!! Like bruh wtf is Steve doing rn!! Everyone else stopped arguing at this point and is just LOOKING at steve basically tell Tony he's nothing special for no reason besides him not liking tony for reasons unexplained

And wanna know what Tony doesnt do? Listen to him. Im actually pretty sure he told him to fight him twice and tony doesn't get the suit either time lol

And steve has NO comeback for that so he just tells tony to straight up fight him lmao

Idk why I keep forgetting that Steve likes to resolve disagreements by fighting in alleys. So he's ready to post up as if tony is some jock who just wont leave this poor dame be and tiny asthmatic Stevie is the only one willing to stop him. Steve you are HUGE now and tony is just existing next to you and you're yelling at him for it. This scene makes steve look a lot less like a hero and a lot more like the bullies he so fervently advocates against ngl

And then steve grabs tony when shit starts to hit the fan bc "you cant go alone!!" Like bruh just follow him lmao why are you stopping him (just a personal pet peeve tbh not really a big deal i just didn't like it)

And I'll say this again: IK THE SCEPTER WAS MAKING EVERYONE ANGRY AND SHIT! I GET IT! But out of that whole mass argument Steve was the only person focusing on one individual and for such a long ass time too! Tony said one thing that was on the offence instead in defence of himself that whole time and I'm crying cos how tf does the impulsive asshole have more self control than the golden boy Captain America?? I'm at a loss here folks

The way i see it, Tony and Steve don't like each other. They rub each other the wrong way. But the reason i don't like Steve is that he has contempt for Tony right off the bat with no explanation? And meanwhile Tony's whole childhood was probably riddled with Captain America. He probably saw Steve every damn day, or heard his dad talk about him in a higher regard than his own son. So he probably had this ingrained jealousy of Steve from the start and he STILL managed to be as civil as he usually is. But Steve?? I can only fucking guess.

So yeah there's my rant sorry I've been doing so many of these recently I just had a lot of time on my hands and decided to watch some Marvel and get pissed about it lol

TL;DR: after watching Avengers again I realized that Steve has always been pretty shitty so his character development wasn't exactly a drop, more like a stagnant line that no one noticed because he was pretty okay in the Captain America movies

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

[piratemadi]

please make your critical post of supernatural those are literally the only posts about supernatural i care about, especially since i side eye the heck out of the many people who give supernatural a pass because they ship two boring white dudes (dean and castiel) PLEASE

omg ok nobody make fun of me for posting an earnest criticism of this show i enjoy critical analysis and being a hater

i think most of why this show sucks has already been covered pretty thoroughly but these r the main things abt it that piss ME off.

the racism runs so SO deep. supernatural is supposed to be an exploration of americana thru horror (and i’ll give them that. like the idea of deconstructing america and all its fallacies thru horror is genius and in competent hands it would be absolutely incredible. but anyway) but it only really scrapes the surface of what is inherently horrific about americana! something like that is supposed to be an INTERROGATION of monstrosity and how america (and western society more broadly) creates monsters out of human beings and how white christian morals are established as the ONLY acceptable morals and how anyone who falls outside of those norms (non christian, non white, lgbt, people with substance use disorders, prisoners, the poor, indigenous people/cultures etc) are monsterized, so to speak, because of an oppressive and unloving colonial society. like u cannot have a horror narrative abt monsters attacking family values and white suburban life without invoking some very old and racist conventions! but instead of subverting that supernatural just reinforces it! it consistently fails to make any kind of real statement because the most demonized parts of society are the people who are also treated the WORST in canon! native american beliefs are stolen and turned into stupid bogeymen without the show ever featuring a native character or seriously grappling with the inherent violence of america as a colonial state, black men are consistently portrayed as angry and evil while black women are treated like shit (dean’s happy ending at the end of s5 is with a white woman he fucked one time instead of with the black woman who he was in love with??), impoverished people are mostly ignored and when they’re not theyre monsters (theres one episode centered around a poor rural family that commits murder and cannibalism. no supernatural stuff or monsters. just poor people. thats the scare).

theres this consistent fixation on preserving american suburbia, on saving “normal” (read: white middle class) people and it sets up this dynamic of like. the “real world” is the white middle class and then there’s hunters including our mains who defend that “real world” against monsters and demons, which is just Everything Else. and the writers PRETEND to struggle w the question of monsters and what makes one but they just toss it around without ever actually committing to answering that question with compassion or narrative coherency. they have multiple episodes about characters who were raised human, who want to be human, but have to be killed because of an inherent evil nature. there’s a plot in the early seasons about how one of the main characters has demonic powers, and instead of saying that doesnt make him inherently bad and he’s allowed to fully access all parts of himself without being fundamentally evil, they consistently frame intrinsically neutral traits as inherently evil specifically because they go against a christian ideal of morality! and eventually he learns to suppress these powers and that’s that!

and then it establishes christianity as the guiding principle of america, not in a way of like “american culture and history is deeply steeped in white supremacist protestantism that has led to incredibly fucked up views on god and love and morality and thats what we have to deal with as people who live here”, but in a way of like “the christian god is real and he’s a white guy who fucking hates you.” which like. Ok. they bastardize and trivialize any religions that arent christian while building the entire series on christianity. Ok. like i guess its possible to write stories about white christianity without implying that every other religion is full of shit but supernatural did not do that on any level

its also just. really poorly written. i genuinely loved the first season i thought it was really well paced and that the characters were introduced really well like the first season is a GOOD horror story in terms of family as horror and the inherent terror of americana. but the pacing and the character development started tripping up in s2. by s3 they started raising the stakes Exponentially which honestly is such a kiss of death for good fiction like every season mounting a bigger badder antagonist than the last one is the surest way to kill a story bc it means the earlier entries in that story become basically meaningless in the face of the new bad guy. u dont need to raise the stakes to write a good story! a well written story abt the horror and drama of a close knit and unhealthy family caught up in something they don’t really understand isn’t Less emotionally resonant than, like, having to stop the world from ending, because at the end of the day its Fiction and none of it matters beyond what u can make the audience really Feel. im not gonna feel sorrow if 7 billion fake little people die. i didnt cry when the death star blew up whatever planet it blew up. what DOES make me feel sorrow is a few truly well written characters whose relationships are complicated and tragic and whose motivations i can understand and whose inner lives i can imagine. raising the stakes destroys a good story and thats exactly what happened to supernatural (not that the racism and misogyny and american protestant moralizing wasn’t killing it already)

also, the misogyny makes the female characters basically impossible to watch. like not a single person on that show is a good actor (except sterling k brown love u king u were the best actor that show ever saw) but they didnt even give any of the women anything to work with. its literally so cringey to watch any woman onscreen except maybe like. bela talbot and she was treated like utter shit.

god. you know that expression dont fall in love with potential? i dont do that w people i do it w fiction. i came off black sails and the untamed and frankenstein and i watched the first couple seasons of supernatural with my friend and it was like...there was so much room for it to SAY something about monsters and how society creates them thru violence and how deeply horrific american protestantism is. like theres so many questions and concepts that it brought up that it never actually SAID something about. shithole of wasted potential. and yeah dean and castiel is stupid there i said it

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[nachotrash]

MORE INCORRECT QUOTES WITH MY MOOTS

ft: @catchmewiddershins @lilikags and @paradise-creator // no haikyuu boys this time

Pauline: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Wid, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.

------------------

Pauline: We're having a baby. Shiyu: Oh, congradu- Wid, slamming adoption papers onto teh table: It's you, sign here.

---------------

Pauline: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Shiyu, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Wid, whispering: Because I have little hands. Shiyu: Because they have little hands.

------------------

Wid: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

--------------

Lili: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

---------------

Wid: Pros and cons of dating me. Wid: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Wid: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

(cons. you're the smart one😔)

----------------

Shiyu: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?

-------------

Pauline: Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.

-------------

Shiyu: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

(*lipbites in 166 cm*)

--------------

Wid: I don't dab. I stab.

(nOw WhEarE HAvE i SeEn ThIs BeFoRe)

----------------

Shiyu: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

(t-pose to assert dominance)

---------------

Shiyu, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because... Shiyu, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

(lmao baby nacho really be bold)

--------------------

Shiyu: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

------------------

Lili: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.

----------------

Pauline: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

--------------

Pauline: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? Pauline: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

(we are the squad now)

---------------

Lili: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

---------------

Wid: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Wid: I need my socks.

------------------

Pauline: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

(yes yes you are how dare you)

------------

Shiyu: Yeah I'm LGBT. Shiyu: cuLt leader. Shiyu: God hates me personally. Shiyu: cowBoy hat. Shiyu: *sniffles* Trying my best.

(my asexual ass be like;)

-------------

Wid: *plays shreksophone* Wid: Woo. Wid: Time to listen to this on loop for all eternity. Shiyu: ...Genius coping mechanism my friend

---------------

Shiyu: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Pauline: Killed without hesitation.

----------

Pauline: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

---------------

Pauline: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

-----------------

Pauline: I hate Lili. Shiyu: "Hate' is a strong word. Pauline: I have strong opinions.

(oh no)

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Wid: How does that even work? Shiyu, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?! Wid: Your face doesnt make sense.

(...fair enough)

------------

Pauline: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

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Pauline: My stomach growled super loud in French. Pauline: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. Shiyu: Bonjour. Lili: Le growl. Wid: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

(reminds me of the 'ill speak french between your legs' tumblr legend and im wheezing)

------------------

Shiyu: *tapping fingers on table* Lili: *taps fingers back furiously* Wid: …What’s going on? Pauline: Morse code. They’re talking. Shiyu: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … - Lili: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

-----------------

Shiyu: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely. Wid, Lili, & Pauline: Okay. Shiyu: If you don't want to die, give me all your money. Wid: Bold of you to assume I have money. Lili: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die. Pauline: Bold of you to assume I can die.

(pauline is a goddess. goddesses cant die)

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Lili: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? Wid: Strong. Shiyu: Weak. Pauline: An idiot, is what your are.

(as long as you dont flinch or scream youre strong. unless you get punched in the gut by someone like ushijima ofc)

--------------------

Shiyu: Those darn tall old people. Wid: Darm em' indeed. Pauline: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough. Lili: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead. The Squad: Lili: Hahaha. Lili: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?

-----------------

Wid: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Pauline. They're mad at you. Pauline: No, it's Shiyu. They're just being gramatically correct! *meanwhile* Shiyu: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. Lili: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. Shiyu: I stand by my choice.

------------------

Wid: What do we think of Shiyu? *pause* Lili: *sighs* Nice pal. Pauline: I think they're gay.

=------------

Wid: Where is Shiyu? Pauline: I'll do you one better, who is Shiyu?? Lili: Here's a better question, why is Shiyu?

(i dont know man. ive been trying to figure it out for the last few years)

--------------

Wid: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake? Wid & Lili: One, two, three- Wid & Lili: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks! Shiyu: Our turn, Pauline! One, two, three- Shiyu: Vanilla! Pauline: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake?

----------------

Pauline: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Wid: A doll. Shiyu: A cinnamon roll. Lili: A sweetheart. Pauline: Pauline: ...stop it.

(cant deny the truth bby)

---------------

Wid, Pauline & Shiyu: *screaming* Lili: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Shiyu?! Wid: Wait, why are you asking Shiyu that when Pauline and I are also here? Lili: Because Shiyu wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

(i mean... its true )

-----------------

Pauline: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Wid: Fucking Shiyu and Lili were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

(manifests dvalin cause i wanna ride on their back and fall off)

-------------------

Lili: Wake me up- Wid: Before you go go Shiyu: When September ends Pauline: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

(cant wake up- WAKE ME UP INSIDE)

--------------------

Shiyu, watching Pauline & Lili panic : What's going on? Wid: Pauline is having a midlife crisis and Lili is just having a crisis.

--------------

Lili: *Gasp* Pauline: wHAT?? Lili: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish? Pauline: *inhales* Wid, in another room with Shiyu: Why can I hear screeching?

(shiyu: same shit different day)

----------------------------

Shiyu: Christmas is cancelled. Wid: You can't cancel a holiday. Shiyu: Keep it up, Wid, and you'll lose New Year's too. Wid: What does that mean? Shiyu: Lili, take New Year's away from Wid.

--------------------

Pauline: So, are they your friend or... Lili: They’re like Wid, but if Wid was ordered to be around you. Pauline: Oh, so Shiyu. Lili: Precisely!

(if its about how annoyed i always look then you ahve a point)

----------------

Wid: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Pauline: When have I been paranoid? Wid: Um, when you first met Lili you thought they were an undercover cop…? Pauline: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Wid: And last year you were sure Shiyu was a mermaid! Pauline: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! *Later, when Pauline’s theory is proven wrong* Wid: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Pauline: I still think Shiyu is a mermaid.

(id gladly be one)

--------------------

*Wid drunkenly wanders around the manor and Lili is drunkenly giggling* Shiyu, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Pauline. Pauline, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

----------------

Wid: We need to distract these guys. Lili: Leave it to me. Lili: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Pauline & Shiyu: *immediately begin arguing*

(*pulls out dictionary*)

------------------

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. Shiyu, with Wid and Lili behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Shiyu: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Shiyu: Pauline FUCKING FELL OFF!

----------------------

Wid: What is love? Pauline: An emotional minefield. Shiyu: A neurochemical reaction. Lili: Baby don't hurt me.

(BECAUSE FUCK EMOTIONS)

--------------------

Pauline: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Wid: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Lili: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Shiyu: Put spaghetti in it. Pauline: I am no longer taking suggestions.

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Shiyu, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Pauline: Gray. Lili: Grey. Shiyu, turning to Wid: Now tell them what color you think it is. Wid: Dark white.