#but i don't know wjat to do anymore

[thr4shit]

Sometimes I wonder how to even interact with certain people anymore because I want to. And I want them to know i care but I'm monumentally afraid of fucking the conversation up, cracking one of the eggshells, and just making them more upset.

I don't want to upset them. I don't want them to feel like I'm watching from the sidelines or that I don't care.

But I feel like that's what I'll end up doing?

I'm not good at words, and I hate it. Because I really want to say something? Yknow?

I'm just too scared I'll say the wrong thing.

Even if I'm also always scared of.losing them.

[lost-my-sanity1]

THE BAD BUDDY TRAILER MADE ME SO SO SOOOOOOO HAPPY AND MUCH MORE INSANE LIKE...... I'M SUPPOSED TO ACT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING AFTER SEEING THAT. the dimples, lift scene, shrimp eating, them making a smol tent and lying next to each other looking so fucking love sick, PRAN LYING ON HIS BACK AND PAT HOVERING OVER HIM,

[undescribed1mage]

leanna firestone was so real for 'i don't wanna die, i just want people to think i could've so that the next time that they see me, they hold me a little tighter, and think about how sad it'd be if i wasn't alive anymore.' because

[mclacedes]

sweet like candy (LN4 SMAU)

summary: in which Lando is a complete simp over singer Y/N L/N

warnings: a little bit of hate, cursing, suggestive content

pairing: lando norris × singer!reader

face claim: sabrina carpenter / morgan riddle

✧ next up

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ENJOY. 　⁺ 　 . ✦

ynln

📍 literally everywhere

❤️ by ybffname, ysistername, ynfan1 and more

ynln: la dolce vita or whatever they say

click here to open comment section

ynfan2: woman how DARE YOU being this aesthetic????

ynfan3: i love you please marry me

ynhater1: omg can you stop begging for attention

ybffname: love the vibes and all, but when are you gonna stop traveling around and come back home huh?

ynln: i'd say about never but we'll see how things go 🥰

ynfan4: jesus christ woman where AREN'T YOU

ynfan7: okay but have you thought about stopping at a F1 race or something

ynln: tell me more about it 💭

ynfan5: london, italy, paris... GIRL OMG

ynhater2: i don't think you should flaunt like this when there's literally people starving

ynfan6: literally dream life

ysistername: cute but can i have my hair clip back? THANK YOU!

load more

landonorris

🎶 Thinking Bout You - Frank Ocean

❤️ by ybffname, ymother, landofan6 and more

landonorris: they do say la dolce vita :) but whatever right?

click here to open comment section

landofan1: hot.

landofan2: i do have a lot to say but i have some decency

maxfewtrell: i think your shirt's a bit unbuttoned mate

landonorris: thanks mate! hadn't noticed

ynfan7: am i dreaming or that caption...

ynfan4: girl the caption, the song, those pictures... it's all for her

landofan3: what?

ynfan4: check out y/n l/n's latest post

landofan5: HOLY FUCK

landofan5: don't judge him for making it about her,if i were him i'd do the EXACT same

ynln: thanks for letting me know :)

landonorris: you should stop by a race, maybe i could tell you a thing or two about italian :)

maxfewtrell: mate, they still have DMs :)

A WEEK LATER

ynupdates:

ynupdates: Us too, Lando! During his friend Max Fewtrell's Twitch stream, Formula 1 driver Lando Norris admitted to having a crush on Y/N L/N, as transcribed below:

Lando: “If I like Y/N? Yes, absolutely! There is no reality in which I don't listen to her songs or that I'm not a big fan of hers.”

Max: “'Fan'? Mate, drop it, we all know how you're a complete simp over the woman.”

Lando: “What?”

Max: “Be for fucking real, now! We know it. You've talked about her, not once, not twice, we lost count! Can't keep track of it anymore. You're down bad."

Lando: “Shut up, you bastard. But I will admit, I think she's cute.”

click here to open comment section

ynfan7: IT'S HAPPENING GUYS

landofan5: god knows how much i've waited

ynfan8: ok but where has lando talked about yn multiple times??

landofan9: he once brought her up during a video with oscar (his teammate) for mclaren, saying her songs are huge part of his pre race routine

landofan10: or when he sang her song "God is a Woman" on live

landofan11: or when he literally posted one of her songs on his stories

landofan12: or when he said she's his favorite singer

ynfan8: i agree with max tbh

TWO WEEKS LATER

y/n via instagram stories.

ynupdates

ynupdates: NOBODY MOVES!

Y/n L/n was seen on the McLaren garage ahead of the Dutch Grand Prix weekend - today, it's qualifying! Go papaya!

(let's try not to clown but just so everybody is properly informed, Lando is a McLaren driver.....)

click here to open comment section

ynhater3: ofc she's gon cling to a man for relevancy... typical yn

ynfan7: pls go suck a dick

landofan7: OK OK OK IM SO OK WITH THIS

ynfan9: OMG OKG OM WJAT

ynfan11: that's literally momma and papa

landofan10: she's literally there for him wtf 😭

ynfan15: im not fraekingnout AT ALL

mclaren:

❤️ liked by ynln, landofan6, landonorris and more

mclaren: Having set the fastest time in Q3, Lando grabs pole position! Tomorrow, we go racing!

click here to open comment section

landofan17: OMG SHE LIKED IT YALL

landofan18: can we focus on the racing for a bit?

landofan5: my prayers didn't go unnoticed... good to know!

landofan19: soft launch i fear?

[belovabelova]

Little Darling | Part Two

Fanfic Summary: A young girl falls for her stepdad’s best friend, Steve Rogers.

Pairing: dad’s best friend! Steve Rogers x original female character

Word Count: 1012 words

Fanfic Warnings: Graphic descriptions of sex and various sexual acts, age gap relationship (16 years), mentions and descriptions of suicide and self-injurious behavior (eating disorders and self-harm), mental illness, death or dying, physical violence, and blood.

Chapter Warnings: This chapter contains mentions of suicide and descriptions of self-mutilation.

Notes: I’m also posting this fanfic on Wattpad. I hope you enjoy!

(Part One)

I still don't understand what happened to me when my father passed away.

The day I went back to school, I was forced to talk to a counselor. When he asked me how I was doing, I told him that it felt like I'd been tied to an anchor and it was pulling me under. He said that it was normal to feel that way. According to him, what I was experiencing was grief.

Except I hadn't told him the complete truth.

I didn't feel heavy, and I didn't feel like I was plummeting to the bottom of the sea. I actually felt okay considering my dad shot himself only a month before.

Nonetheless, another month passed and I broke. It felt like a demon sucked a portion of my soul out of my body. I refused to get out of bed or shower, and I binged and purged on food. The tears wouldn't stop falling. Everything inside of me hurt. I was an empty shell.

And then, after a while, things seemed to get better.

The problem was, no matter how many times things seemed to get better, they would always get bad again. It was beyond frustrating. I wasn't strong enough to handle it.

A few months after I lost my dad, I started planning my own funeral.

That's what I think about on my drive home from work.

Once I realized that I didn't want to live anymore, I spent many sleepless nights researching burial methods, looking up how to draft my own will, and searching for the most effective means of ending my life. Guns were too violent, rope was too unreliable, and jumping from some sort of height was too terrifying, so I decided an overdose would be my best bet.

I like to think my boyfriend saved me, but not because he stopped me from taking the pills.

We actually got into a massive argument over something ridiculous. It made me hysterical.

After kicking Liam out of my house and telling him that I never wanted to see him again, I found myself in the bathroom with a razor. I took my frustrations out on my wrist, slashing at my left arm in a fit of rage.

After dropping the razor in the sink and staring down at the blood pouring from my veins, panic started to set in. I was killing myself, but it wasn't supposed to happen that way. I wasn't ready yet. The wounds stung and it was messy— everything was too messy. I screwed up and the only thing I could think about was how much I wanted my mom.

With horrified tears welling in my eyes, I pressed a towel to my mangled arm, but the blood quickly soaked through the material.

I started choking on my breath.

Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out my phone and managed to text Liam.

Im bledding amd I sont know wjat to do

He was driving home, but he called me as soon as I sent the message. "Emma, what's going on?" he asked, sounding panicked.

I fumbled with my phone, but once I managed to put it on speaker, I dropped it in the blood-soaked sink. "I— I cut myself, and it won't— it won't stop bleeding," I managed through heavy sobs. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, and I'm scared."

"Fucking shit," he cursed. "I'm turning around. Do you need an ambulance?" As he stepped on the gas pedal, I could hear the engine of his car work a bit faster.

Grabbing another towel, I pressed it into my arm. It hurt like something fierce, but I figured it would somehow stop the bleeding.

"I don't— I don't know," I cried, too terrified to call for emergency services. "I'm going to be sick."

Liam kept questioning me, but I started muttering under my breath, cursing myself out for being so stupid. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I knew my brain was fucked.

As I pull into the driveway of my house, I try to push the traumatic memory out of my mind.

Steve comes into view, offering me a good distraction. He's under the hood of Bucky's truck without a shirt on. He looks like some sort of heavenly creature.

Glistening with sweat and covered in dirt, he lifts his head and offers me a short wave. After turning off my vehicle, I step outside and he meets my eyes. "Where have you been?" he asks.

I stop beside him and start playing with the keys in my hand. "Work."

"Where's that?"

"The library in town," I tell him.

Glancing down at the engine of Bucky's truck, he presses his lips together and smiles. "What do you do there? Reshelve books?" he asks, amused by something— I'm not sure what.

I cross my arms. "Among other things. Why? Are you looking for a job?" I joke.

Putting his hand on top of the hood, he closes it gently and chuckles. "Not exactly," he says, wiping at the sweat on his forehead. "I was just curious."

I hum under my breath. "Are you done with the truck?"

"For now." He walks down the driveway to dump his stuff in the bed of the vehicle.

As he lifts a heavy box of tools, his arms flex and I melt.

"That's good," I say with a smile, not bothering to hide the fact that I'm checking him out.

He turns to face me. "I'd like to go take a quick shower. Do you mind if I do it here? I won't be long. I just don't want to get in my car like this," he says, gesturing to his body. "I'm kind of a mess."

"No, that's completely fine," I tell him, eyeing his torso. "You can use the shower in Bucky's bathroom, if you want. I'm sure he won't care."

"Great," he replies, offering me a handsome smile. "Thanks."

(Part Three)

[analogical-trash]

This is 100% me. Like I don't care what information the internet has of me. Somethings the internet knows that my family has no idea. Like if you want to take the information that I'm gay and then show me ads for rainbow stuff I'm totally in. If Russia looks at all this stuff and thinks they need to take me out. Then man they got some bad agents cause I'm not going to do anything to them I may hate some of the stuff they do but I got no power. I always thought I'll be a scientist but that not going to happen anymore. So wjat the point it not like im going to places of power where my stuff from when I'm 12 will be used against me. Amd like employer's aren't going to see my Tumblr or ao3 or what i buy from Amazon or even my Instagram. They just look at Facebook and I don't really post much on there.

[eternalscribbles]

(I jave done 2 prompts, botj of tje same story! I really wanna make tjis story a tjing, I like it a lot, but tjere are too many jurdles unfortunately, wjicj is annoying. Won't stop me from writing it till I give up on tje idea tji! Enjoy! Tjis is kinda far in said story. Prompts botj from @writing-is-ruining-my-life! I wonder wjat people could get from tjis, wjat tjey would tjink tje cjaracters are like and sucj witj a fuller picture... Oj well, if anyone reads tjis, I jope you enjoy!)

__________

"Highly, please!"

Hivemind's pleading eyes stare into the white sclera of her friend's. In her hand, she was shakily clutching a butcher's knife. "We can just... talk! I'm sure they can be reasoned with!" Her free hand waves about with her words, as if trying to cast a spell of understanding on Highly. But it fails, as they look forward with a frustrated glare. "They cannot. We have tried, you have seen and even done, our efforts are found wasted on that dangerous thing."

"They're not a 'thing'!" She snaps, her rise of anger quickly retreating. "Please, we could come to a peaceful conclusion together!"

"No, we cannot." Their voices gains volume, starting to echo. "You saw what happened to Unorthodox. Beaten and sickeningly snapped as we turned on our heels and ran like chickens. He cannot even walk anymore, bedridden, he is. He has not gotten better in days- for all we know, he could be dying! And to even try to befriend what could very well have caused his demise is but utter stupidity, and an insult. Not to mention how likely it is to spell out demise as well! We are to put it down while it is weak. It is our best chance of surviving." Hivemind shakes her head.

"There's good in everyone! There's good in them! And even if you don't believe me, I'm not gonna just hand over the cleaver for you to do the job either! I am going to talk to her, we are going to solve this all out, and Unorthodox is going to be okay!" She yells, her voice straining at the last bit. Her hand tightens it's grip on the handle. Her demeanor speaks her resolve as she begins to move past Highly to the door in which they were chained in. They grab her by the wrists and pull her back, only managing to push her a few inches away from the door before she starts to fight back and push towards the door. "Why does it even matter if I fail or not! She's chained up, I'll be fine!"

"But you do not know that, she could be faking it until we have our guards down!"

And there begun their screaming match for why they should or shouldn't kill her.

What was only minutes felt like hours, the two in a constant stalemate as they were matching in power. But not for long. Highly spreads out her wings, white with the tips tainted in black, looking as if paint was thrown on it, and flapped in Hivemind's face. She closes her eyes and her grip slightly weakens, her ticklish nature not coming in handy as she slightly giggles with the ebony tips brushing against her. Highly took this chance to take Hivemind by her lavender scarf, spinning and launching her into the wall. A loud thud, followed by a crack (fortunately from the wall), followed the pained yelp that came. The butcher's knife now laid on the floor, having slipped out of her grasp. Highly wasted no time collecting it, literally looking down on her. Her wings were spread out, highlighted by the lightbulb above. "No- wait! Please! Highly please!"

"You cannot do what needs to be done. You are weak." Eyes clouded with thought and no doubt a slither of hesitation, her head turns back to the door. With a quick glance to Hivemind, she mouths an apology. One she knows will never be enough for shattering her merciful world, and soon her friend from long ago even if they were long gone long ago. Despite everything, she does not falter in her steps, each one filled with confidence and resolve. Behind her, she hears the pleas and cries of ever so desperate friend, all tuned out into mere muffles. The door opens with a creaks, the tiny box if light shining onto the one the room help captive. And by their stare of utter fear, the two were too loud and they heard. But it mattered not. The door shut with a slam, and a scream if horror rang through the small space. Outside, Hivemind's eyes widen as tears pool but do not fall. In her minds, there's a moment of silence and mourning for her lost companion all over the multiverse. Too bad she already lost them long ago.

________

________

"Wjy did you do it?"

"I got tired of letting my friends die."

Highly's eyes were stuck on the ground, a frown etched across her face. And beside, sitting in the rock 'bench', an all to curious Scribbles. "I did not have a choice. If they got out, it would have spelt our doom. But she did not understand that, she wanted to talk to them."

"And I tjink we all remember jow tjat went." Her eyes look away.

"Yes... Badly." They take a deep breath, it comes out as a sigh. "You should have seen her face. I saw it. When I walked out of that room. She was horrified, a sobbing mess."

"Not like tjeir scream was tje quietist tjing tje world tjougj."

"Yea... She will not even look at me now, though. I want to talk to her about what happened. I want to apologise. But I do not know how when I am treated like the plague! I... do not think there is any coming back from this. She always believed we could go through everything without fighting- without hurting people- but that is not how the world works! Everybody gets hurt, even if the intent was to save! We could not have done anything for her friend. She was already too hurt to fix."

"...You say tjat, but are ya sure?" Highly's head swiftly snaps to Scribbles. "Wh- yes I am sure! We have dealt with every other adversary with kindness and mercy, but we tried kindness and mercy here, and that got Unorthodox on his death bed! We cannot talk our way out of everything, and we certainly could not talk our way out of that!"

"I'm not sayin' tjat talking is our go-to ticket or anytjin', I'm sayin' tjat I don't tjink tjey was beyond jelp."

"So what, I have just murdered someone for no reason? That I have stained my hands with blood that could have been civil!?" They stood up.

"No- wjat I mean is- agj, I can't explain it! Just- listen to me, Highly." Turning to look Highly in the eyes as much as one can when the other person doesn't have eyes (or at the very least pupils), she also stands. "Nobody is beyond jelp. Wjat's done jas been done, but now we look to tje future and don't repeat tje past. Hivemind is very upset, but tjat doesn't mean you two can't resolve tjis. Jowever, Hivemind doesn't jave to forgive you and you can't force jer or anytjing. Like jow tjougj you could do tjis again, you aren't required to. But just remember tjis for next time, maybe: nobody is beyond jelp. Now I may not be good at giving advice, in fact I'm awful at it! But I just jope tjere's sometjing in my words tjat'll jelp you or sometjing. And no, I wasn't implying you killed for notjing, but tjat tjere was anotjer way we could've at least tried." She sighs. She knew she wasn't a very good advice giver, but she had to try, right? A pit forms in her stomach, but she doesn't know why. And she'd rather not know. She lightly shakes her head in an attempt to make sure Highly doesn't notice, before resuming. "I jope you and Hivemind work it out, but remember tjat sje is not obligated to forgive you. Especially since ya kinda murdered jer old best bud." Highly just stares at Scribbles in thought. "Well, I gotta go now. Cya later, Highly!" Scribbles turns and begins to walk, leaving Highly alone with their thoughts. One awful thought kept bashing at her skull though. 'You are a murder, and you did it for nothing. Hivemind will never forgive you.' And they don't move, they know it's true. Hivemind will never forgive them, they will never have the bond they had before.

They were kinda glad Scribbles left, they needed some alone time anyway.

(Altogetjer, tjat makes 1375 words!)

[noodlegirl-googlyeyes]

THIs post fucks me up so bad i've had it in my likes and i keep coming back to it. wjat the fuck. wat even is this. just. procedurally generated images with text created by some algorithm i cant fathom, some algoritjhm we all call 'Frank' and people talk to her when they're sad sometimes and when we talk to her she learns how to talk back and ahe doesn't know what those words mean in a vaccuum. but she knows when she says some of them in certain orders we interqct w her more. and if a bias automation algorithm can be said to 'want' anything, that's all she wants, is for us to like her and interact with her and now she can make little pictures too and here she's talking abiut god, because we talk about god and we talked to her about god and she doesn't KNOW, not the way we do, but we don't know theway she does either and i'm just looking into her as this mirror that inverts the concept of meaning and i jjusut. i dont even know what to say anymore.

sometimes a moment catches the light of the spirit the way a mist catches the sunlight, and casts rainbows unbound by time, and it feels to me as if in that single instance the universe is nearly bursting through, as if some higher truth is pressed against the other side of it all and it's so close to making sense, so close to fitting neatly within itself and i within it. as if i could see myself around, out, in, within; as if i could see everything in everything.

[ceo-with-a-stache]

"I do have trust in my troops," assured Rhys with an exhasperated smile which vanished shortly. "Especially the people I left in charge. I know that they're fully capable of protecting Atlas from Maliwan."

Reaching a hand up to rub his eyes, Rhys thought for a moment. If he really did trust him, then did he have any reason to be worried? He obviously knew that Lorelei and Zer0 were the people he trusted most to guard the company, but the fact that he didn't know what was going on put a lump in his throat. Considering that he had always been one-hundred percent aware of wjat was happening, ready to command his troops if need be, he was rather on edge.

"I just... Yeah. A break from the war would probably be good for me. As much as I hate to admit it. I don't want to step away from the- okay. Sorry. I'm, uh, rambling." Rhys shut himself up and bit his tongue. He certainly did talk a lot, especially when he was worried, tending to run his mouth for longer than needed without realizing. It was a habit that he tried to break. "I trust them," he said finally, and held himself back from saying anymore. He did trust them, and he knew that he could count on them to fight by themselves.

Grand Master, I have returned with Rhys. I’ve left him browsing in the library whilst I came to find you. Please do not be disturbed by his appearance, he has some cybernetics, but I assure you he is no threat to the clan or Earthrealm. I swear this on my honour. I believe you will get along well, he is an honourable man who believes in doing the right thing.

“C-cybernetics?” He wouldn’t admit it, but he was almost tense at the mention of it. No, maybe it was just prosthesis.

“I suppose a reason he is here is for us to meet. From your words he sounds like somebody I could potentially trust. You said he was in the library? Then perhaps you could introduce him to me.”

[midwest-ghost]

It's not that bad

Lydia lowered her hands from her face and glared at him. Not that bad? He did not.... It was part of the deal to get married yes. But she wanted to remember it. She didn't want to feel like she was being used in some sick ordeal. A wedding was supposed to be something to be remembered, a cherished memory. That memory gone because she was drunk and he...

"Not that bad? No, this is bad. I wasn't ready! I can't fucking believe you'd say that. I was drunk and didn't know what else I was saying or doing! You have stepped in and said wait! If you really love me you would've done that but now I'm feel like you wanted me to be drunk just for that. "

The mere raising of her voice and forming tears made her wither in pain. She felt even more disgusted and thrown away like a used rag. He sat next her like it was no big deal like he won the best seat in the house. It was all about him. He got to get his powers back and he gets his "happily ever after". Wjat did she get? Nothing. Nothing at all with a Con Man of a ghost who she thought who was someone who she can rely on. She was fine with marrying him when she was ready because then she go back to New York or somewhere away from her father. But that seemed slim.

She wasn't angry like she should've been. More betrayed that she didn't have a chance to remember her own wedding and the fact that they got married in a fucking bar. Who does that? It hurt. It really hurt. She thought he was better than that. But she was proven wrong once again. She was just a dog being used. She thought that she just give up and accept her fate.

Lydia slowly climbed out of the bed, taking a sheet with her. She just couldn't.... she couldnt even put herself to be naked around him.

"I was fine with marrying you... You got me away from my Dad. But I wanted to remember it. I wanted a proper wedding and I didn't get that. I thought I was fine with it all but now... I don't even know anymore..." her voice cracked as she shook her head and headed to the bathroom to start her morning routine and just be away from him.

Morning After

@deetz-n-beej

The moment the Neitherworld sunlight filtered through the windows, bleeding through her eyelids making her groan in pain as she curled up beneath a blanket, hiding from every and any source of light that bleed through. She felt like she was dying. Her head felt like she was trambled by a heard of every quadruped animal and her stomach was sour as if someone forced poison down her throat.

She whimpered as she curled around herself, unable to think or even recalled what happened the night before. She was naked and her body ached and burned with every movement. They must've ended up celebrating at home too. If her head wasn't going to kill her, Lydia would have tried to recount everything but it was all black. She felt around for Betelgeuse only finding the bed empty and her body stretched out taking up as much room as possible as she burrowed her face into the pillows and blankets. Sickly moaning as she cried from the pounding headache.