#but i do want to acknowledge the things i received in my inbox recently

[targentis]

friends, romans, countrymen, if you have repeatedly:

crossed someone's boundaries

disrespected their significant other

generally acted inappropriately toward them, thus ultimately leading to the ending of your friendship with that person

no, the correct approach to this is Not just showing up like nothing happened and going "i miss being friends, i want to be friends again." cool! i'm sure you do. did you give any consideration as to why the person you're not friends with doesn't reciprocate that feeling? great pro-tip to all who needs it: think outside of your own experience for once, and you might get better results with your relationships. just my two cents.

[cloudcountry]

hiiii Auburn!! I saw you opened up some requests and I immediately thought that it would be so nice to see jealous/angsty Ritsu after you return from the mission in ep. 17! Or maybe just how you think he would react to this specific inter-house mission. I am thinking likely not established relationship, maybe heavy pining? (Could also turn into a confession moment???)

I'm kinda thinking out loud in your inbox haha, but this is something I would be interested in seeing and I am hoping it's something you would be excited to write:)

SUMMARY: ritsu is not very happy with the mission they sent you on (without him.)

COMMENTS: THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING RITSUUUU TT0TT I WAS SCREECHING WHEN I SAW THIS AAA

its also kinda funny because i literally . sent a request of this kind of concept to a friend of mine ... we are all hiveminding right now ASGDJAHSGD i wrote this so quick holy shit

The bombardment of texts and missed calls that popped up on your phone after you had regained cell service should have clued you into your business partner’s mood. Usually very effective at communicating, only keeping his thoughts in a single message, he had messaged you multiple times over the course of your mission, inquiring about your current state and sending information he found about recent anomaly cases on islands.

It was helpful and sweet—you simply never received any of it. Ritsu always took such good care of you, even if he wasn’t there to do it physically.

You read through each message with a smile and liked each one with the hearts he usually claimed were unprofessional. Seconds after your first heart appeared, Ritsu was typing a new message.

Come see me at the diner at 7pm tonight. I have much to discuss with you.

Oh no. Your smile falters. Is he truly angry with you? It’s not like you had control over the situation. Texting him back, you explain that the anomaly affected your cell service, and that you would have contacted him sooner if you could.

He leaves you to read.

You would have called him every night if they’d let you. What part of that does he not understand?

You part ways with everyone and make your way to the diner, arriving approximately twelve minutes early. Ritsu sits in his usual booth, empty coffee mug at his side, pouring over his textbook with a furrowed brow.

“Ritsu? I’m back,” you pipe up, clutching the straps of your bag nervously.

“Please, have a seat,” he says, all business and no friendliness.

You sit down, pressing your lips together. He doesn’t look up at you, opting to focus all of his attention on the book instead of acknowledging you.

“If you want to talk to me, then talk to me. I didn’t come here just to sit with all this tension,” you say softly, coaxing him to give you something, anything.

Ritsu clears his throat, finally looking up at you. His face is impassive, but something is wrong—you can’t tell if he’s frustrated or angry. Embarrassed, maybe? Whatever the case, he would no doubt tell you if you kept up the pressure.

“Is it about the mission?” you ask, leaning a bit closer, “Come on, you can tell me. I won’t laugh or anything. Promise.”

“It was brought to my attention,” he blurts, adjusting his tie with a steady hand, “That you went on a reality dating show with our fellow ghouls as contestants to win your heart.”

You nod slowly, unsure as to what about that would make him so upset. When you don’t speak, Ritsu continues, busying his hands with the pages of his textbook, flipping through each one at random.

“Have you become distracted while you were there? It would do you well to not forget our goal of reinstating the Gala, and Sinostra obtaining the Laurel Crown.” he reminds you, almost scolding you amidst the soft humming of the refrigerators in the kitchen.

You hear the question that remains unspoken.

Did any of them successfully win your heart?

You lean back in your seat, sighing deeply in relief. He wasn’t angry with you—Ritsu was just worried that you actually fell for one of them.

What a silly thing to stress about!

“Ritsu,” you smile, reaching across the table.

You grab his hand and he stills his meaningless flipping of pages. You watch his throat bob as he swallows, eyes trained on your hand.

“I don’t like any of them like that. You don’t need to worry about any of the ghouls distracting me from you,” you chastise him gently, squeezing his hand, “You’re my favorite.”

At those words, you have a great pleasure of seeing fire blossom across his cheeks, his hand shaking ever so slightly underneath yours. His chest is heaving and this time you know it’s embarrassment—he’s practically shaking at the praise, even if he's hiding it well.

“Are you positive?” he asks, voice firm as ever but inexplicably soft at the same time.

“Well, I’m with you right now, aren't I? I think I’m pretty sure,” you point out.

His shoulders relax a bit with relief. You open your mouth, then close it, hesitating.

“I would have called you,” you murmur, “If I had cell service. I tried to, actually. So...since I can tell you everything now, thank you for taking care of me. I read through some of the files and articles you sent. You’re quite kind to me, Ritsu. You’re irreplaceable.”

“Then—Well, we should meet tomorrow then, too.” he huffs, fumbling for his recorder (which was undoubtedly recorded the whole thing, and you hope it is so that he can listen to it over and over and know how much you love him.)

Even if you have yet to say it.

“I would love that,” you smile, giving his hand one more squeeze before you pull away, “Don’t forget what I told you. I’ll always remind you, though. If you need me to.”

Ritsu nods far too robotically—it’s as though he didn’t expect communicating with you to be so easy. You just gave in, explaining the feelings he could not reach, peeling over your very rib cage so he could catch a glimpse of your heart.

You hope he noticed how much of it was occupied by him and him alone.

[breelandwalker]

I recently saw a popular post that was talking to ex-Christian converts to Paganism about how the gods have prevailing indubitable and unquestionable authority and that Pagans need to realise that (this capital P despite there being no single pagan religion, but a thousand diverse ones). I made my long retort to that through a reblog, but I still think there is an underlying problem with this idea. If you believe gods have "authority" and will punish you and you tell others to not anger the gods due to this — you are encouraging religious fascism.

If you encourage religious fascism and "authority of the divine" — you are encouraging the image of a god who is basically the State. Religious fascism leads to imperialism, colonialism, to oppression, to control and conquest, to exploitation.

How do I communicate the idea of religious fascism to people, how do I discourage it when so many think the gods are mighty and just and should not be questioned? When this misunderstanding prevails among deity worshippers because they cannot see their gods in any other way but a cop?

I ask you this because Paganism and Witchcraft are so interconnected with each other. A lot of people who discovered witchcraft also do deity work and follow pagan practices of some kind. Thank you for your time!

You realize you came to the inbox of a secular witch who's pagan on the side to ask this, right? But all right, I'll play ball.

First off, where in the blithering heck are you getting "religious fascism" from the idea that deities have divine power and authority? That's...kind of what makes them deities?

Don't Anger The Gods Or They'll Ruin Your Life is kind of a default stance in at least a dozen monotheistic AND polytheistic cultures I could name. The more casual treatment of deities in some sects of modern paganism is very different from historical attitudes toward deities. Plenty of people still adhere to the Gods Should Not Be Fucked With way of thinking and that is perfectly valid.

Assigning blame to The Powers That Be for mortal imperialism, colonialism, and so forth does not accomplish what you think it does. Equating a deity with The State implies that the deity approves of and encourages those attitudes, rather than the truth of the matter, which is that human hubris and bigotry will take any excuse to claim they're in the right when a ruling power seeks to oppress others. So by saying it's the fault of the gods, you're playing right into that same system. "Oh it's not us HUMANS that want to conquer and enslave, it's a divine mandate!"

If you want to question the deities you work with or argue with them or tell them to come back with a warrant, that's your business. I would advise against trying to tell others that they're only viewing their deities as almighty because they can't get past an authority figure model based in earthly systems. Claiming that acknowledging deities as divine authorities is a "cop" mentality is one helluva reach and it really sounds like you're trying to project / force your opinions on others.

While it IS important to examine our own thinking and motivations when we think that we're receiving divine instructions or mandates or inspiration, it's equally important to remember that the Christian concept of sin and the long-standing attitude of It Is Not Smart To Disrespect Deities are two different things. And it sounds like you're still working through some issues of your own when it comes to the divine.

So....good luck with that.

[azaharinflames]

Morning - Eddie asking anon from yesterday again 😀

God you could totally be right that the show makes Eddie's return about custody issues, and I agree with you I would hate that.

Maybe the simplest answer is that they both come back but Chris is just a recurring character going forward, not a main.

If they do come back I wonder how they'll address Eddie's dynamic with bucktommy. I'm firmly in the belief bucktommy will be back together by the end of this season (whether they keep them together after that who knows). Whilst I loved the eddietommy friendship (i actually kinda prefer it to Buck + Eddie friendship!!) I didn't love how much Eddie was a bit of a 3rd wheel in scenes I would have preferred to be just bucktommy.

I'd hope going forward Eddie just calls Tommy a dumbass for being insecure over nothing and they can be mates again. I can never figure out just how much the show wants to address/ignore/bait the buddies, but at least recently they seem to be making more of a stand against it thank god.

Ryan seems so so done with it in interviews, so if he does come back and all 3 (him and bt) are on screen again surely the numbskull interviewers can't keep asking about buddie after every episode 😬 but I bet they will

Hi!

I do think the show could pull a custody battle; however, after the latest BTS (please stop reading if you don't want some vague spoilers), I do feel like he could come back because of that. Because he wasn't dressed in blues, therefore he is not currently a firefighter. And this has to be weeks after 813, so I think the custody thing won't be that bad, or the catalyst (end of spoilers)

I do agree with you, there is something to be revisited with the BuckTommy dynamic with Eddie. It was fun to have them three in a scene before, and arguably,y I will say they did a good job at showing who was Buck's boyfriend, and who was his best friend, but given what transpired in 811, I feel like the dynamic should change a bit. This is not necessarily in the way they interact, but more in (like you said) the way Eddie is there in some of their scenes.

He does feel like an add-on in Season 8, but I do think that was a direct result of Chris being gone, and the writers not knowing who to pair him with if it couldn't be with his son. I think some of that could be solved by bringing Chris back - if Eddie and Chris come back, I don't think Eddie will be in as many BT scenes.

Also, I don't think we'll ever see a scene where BT and Eddie talk about Tommy's insecurity. They did that to narrow down BT's issues (so they'd be easily fixable), and in a way to speak to the audience, but it won't be as big as we think (IMO). Buck and Tommy will deal with their issues (hopefully to a good result), and next time we see them with Eddie, the show won't even acknowledge Tommy's insecurities. At least that's what I think.

As for Ryan - look, that man is done. He's done with Buddie and, honestly? I think a part of him is also done with all the harassment cast and crew, but especially Lou, received. He has a good relationship with Lou, I wouldn't be surprised if he wants to show him support and show where he stands to the toxic Buddie stans.

Anywho. This got long, sorry haha.

My inbox is open for ranting, venting, giving your opinion (unpopular or popular, I'm happy to receive and discuss both), and even confessions! However if you don't want yours posted, please make sure to say :)

Take care <3

[katyspersonal]

Ok, smol rant about the recent fandom drama for your inbox lol. You have done the same in mine, so now we’ll be even fjfhfd.

I remember seeing a post about kids and parents where the OP wished that they could explain to the domineering parents that they weren’t “making excuses” for their actions, but giving reasons for them. It’s a huge point of contention between parents and children. One I brutally relate to. As the children, we often want our motives to be understood, even if we did something that violated a moral boundary.

It makes the judgement feel less dehumanizing, because then the parent knows that we are just human too. We feel acknowledged as flawed people without being seen as purely bad.

This is what writers do for their morally corrupt characters too, right? The war criminals everyone fights over. I have seen some instances where the author did outright excuse the war criminal’s actions, but it’s far more common, especially in recent years, for writers to provide reasons for their villain’s actions.

Sometimes it’s a grand philosophy the villain has, sometimes it’s delusion, other times it’s simple lust for power, and other times it’s a sympathetic background. Sometimes it’s a mix of all of them. It can get messy, but recently the big debate in fandom is usually over evil characters having sympathetic motives or being victims of a cycle of abuse/violence.

*glares at Marika*

This is getting more and more heated in fandoms and now even the Soulsborne fandom, which is depressing. I mostly ignore it because I’m tired of it. Pretty much all of my favorite characters these days are tragic villains because I just love that archetype. I’m drawn to it and have been for as long as I can remember. But that means I see this argument surrounding all of these characters 24/7.

I am more sensitive to moralism, I’ll admit. I haaaate Puritan rhetoric in fandom, so I usually feel more frustration towards the “irredeemable pure evil character is so bad, WHY are you excusing abuse?” shit. But seeing this Hornsent stuff recently, I’m also getting massively uncomfortable with the literal excusing of genocide in the story. Even if it’s fictional, that just….BRUH. Both sides make me a bit queasy.

And all along, I can only think: This fighting is so pointless because both sides are latching onto a very simple perception. They think the story Miyazaki wrote is meant to EXCUSE the actions of the cruel people in the story, but in truth, it’s giving REASONS for all sides. To make things more realistic and god forbid, EMOTIONAL!

Marika’s story destroyed me, and now learning more details about the Hornsent, I feel bad for many of their people too!! The whole thing is a big tragedy, totally pointless. Something tells me that was the point because [gasp], Miyazaki tells that story over and over.

I remember seeing a random gamer comment on YouTube about Marika’s village, and all it said was, “Well. Now we know why she did it.”

THAT’S IT. THAT’S WHAT MIYAZAKI WANTS US TO FEEL. Not “Omg she was totally in the right!!”

Miyazaki’s “cycle of violence” trope is NOT apologist preaching. It’s not about excusing the war criminals. It’s about showing how people fuck each other up for generations out of received and inflicted injustice and pain.

And some come out on top in the end, unleashing twice as much violence as the other group because of how much power they attain. (Marika).

I also wish fandom would be careful about comparing too much of this story to real life as well, because that’s where the weaponization of certain events in history comes into play, and it just leads to moralists beating love-blinded simps over the head with “You’re defending she-Hitler!”

That’s just a cheap-shot because this IS all still fiction at the end of the day, and nobody should be deep-throated with Catholic guilt for getting a bit defensive of an immoral character 💀

Anyway, I’m going off, but I will say this, it reminds me of the whole Shabriri thing. Of course the Frenzied Flame curse and ending is sympathetic in one way. Destroying a world that is SO ruined by suffering is an understandable craving if you reach the bottom of despair. This is almost the exact of motive of [GUNSHOTS] [SOUNDS OF BEING STRANGLED] and so, I love it even more of course. LET IT ALL BURN.

But Shabriri being a liar does get the point across!!

The FF doesn’t fix anything in the end. That’s why I fought for the “Shabriri is not right” take and marveled at how much of the fandom was swayed by his lie, but I also understood why too! It’s a beautiful, perfect lie.

But no matter how tender, how exquisite…you know.

So….I guess now the same thing repeats. People fall for Marika’s side and see her cruelties as justice, while others go too far and paint her as a wholly dark force of evil that is being “excused” by the story. But in truth, THE FRENZIED FLAME IS BOTH SOMETHING TO BE UNDERSTOOD AND FOUGHT AGAINST.

JUST LIKE MARIKA’S WRATH.

Melina was right all along.

Ok rant over. Thanks for all the based and nuanced takes recently.

PS: Lowkey, to this day I wonder, why did that mf George Lucas somehow deliver the story of Vader’s fall in such a simple way that painting the very IDEA of giving into the “dark side” as a tragic decision all around. Giving into the FF is a tragic decision, Marika seeking revenge and going way too fucking far is a tragic decision. WHY DID LUCAS SOMEHOW UNDERSTAND THIS AND YET FANDOM IS STILL CONFUSED WHEN WE TRY TO EXPLAIN THAT CHOOSING TO PERPETUATE THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE IS PART OF THE TRAGEDY. MIYAZAKI IS PRACTICALLY SCREAMING IT AKSJDHDDJ—

Heyyyy Crow, I am so sorry for being a couple of weeks late to respond this ask ;-; I am scatterbrain about asks, you know :pensive:. ....and I also see that you did decide to waste it into my nothing-blog, instead of posting your beautiful, based thoughts in YOUR blog where more people can see them? You chicken dffdhs

Being the reclusive misanthropist (as far as fandoms go), I've been avoiding most of these problems! And my first exposure, through an EX mutual, happened to be the "woooow FromSLOP excused genocide by giving Marika a sad backstory, what were they thinking?!" side. The exposure only kept growing until I ripped the bandage, yet it did make me so angry that the first chapter in my large SOTE defence essay ( x ) was JUUUUST about it. 🙄

Marika was not "just" evil even in the base game either, giving off the impression of someone wanting to build a perfect world of light, life, safety and abundance even at the expense of oppressing "potential threat" species. She waged war on the Fire Giants who had 'evil god of fire', caused natural disasters and whose fire existed as anathema to the Erdtree and declared her victory the start of the "better age"! That already spoke of a lot of complexity, without forcing the audience to agree with her motivations and actions but instead understand what weight they held in the grand scheme of things!

What DLC did add was simply a lore on Marika's origins as a Goddess, and what made her vulnerable enough for the Two Fingers to seek her! Divinity is further stated to not be a great thing via Miquella's whole arc, but the wish to change the world to the better hits harder when you personally were a victim of its fundamental corruption! She did not instantly become a good person over DLC lore, nor she was just evil person and nothing else in the base game! War against Fire Giants (maybe Dragons?) was the means to topple the current powers and establish her reign, oppressing certain species was the mean to preserve it. She searched not solely to take revenge on the Hornsent, but to build a different world where what they did would not happen, ironically ending up causing more injustice ANYWAYS! Miquella fell into this trap. Heck, GIDEON fell into this trap!

On a more general note, detached from the specifics of this game: I do still find it more strange to be angry about villains being given sympathetic traits, as a concept. People who are just "born evil" are such a minority that they hardly can say anything about nature of men. In any case, 'explanation is not an excuse' works not only as a tool to still judge someone's sins, but ALSO to explain that writers making a character more elaborate is not a demand to like this character or excuse their actions! Everything has reason… This is why no one is entitled to declare they know what is good and bad for everyone. Not just people like Marika or Gwyn, but even us.

Granted, all the "they want us to like a she-Hitler now?!" sentiments arrived from the same people who also believe that Miquella's character was "assassinated" and use that absurd 'they'll never make me hate you miquella sweety' tag or whatwasit that has no reason to exist!! Character assassination. You know, that writing trick writers do to make you despise a character who has been established to be likeable before. I just can't forgive this "logic", of assuming that giving explanation for character's tyranny = wanting audience to see them as morally right, and assuming that making a character fall from grace = wanting audience to hate the character.

No, no, NO! Completely WRONG! What writers, GOOD writers, want audience with BOTH of these things is EXACTLY what you said: to understand the reasons of what happens and why! Miyazaki is a good writer, that wants audience to find their own answers, and always wanted! It is not being a love-blinded fan but a common knowledge in the fandom that Miyazaki admitted so himself. Zullie (Youtuber) highlighted this, writer of Paleblood Hunt highlighted this... Miyazaki's talent and genius did not magically evaporate just over the awful sin of not dropping any hints for Miquella x Radahn in the base game, and you, as a Fromsoft veteran, probably know it better than I do.

And, yeah, speaking of love-blinded, you know that only recently I've encountered the other side of the situation. Amongst all that vitriol over "writers wanting us to think this and that but we won't!", some people were angry at how fans were effected by Shaman Village's lore, and I saw why. Nobody should feel unsafe in the fandom just because they happen to refuse to hate The Bad Character TM when loud people decided that fandom should, and I did TELL Blender so!

That whereas we, small lore blogs, do not see the "danger" of highlighting character's sins or assuming them as accountable as possible, the "danger" of negative perception of the character exists, in the form of people who sees resulting hatred as moral act!Before SOTE dropped, I've noticed the problem with Mohg! While despairing over why his fans preferred a more charitable interpretation of him instead of "more interesting" sexual offender one, I kind of ENTPed the answer to my own question seeing them bullied for liking said Totally Canonically Sexual Offender. 🙄

I understand why certain people would get so defensive about how to interpret Marika that they'd jump at an objective well-researched post without even reading it (!!!) as some kind of a threat for their happy fandom experience. I insist that if you do enjoy your own vision more, nothing can threaten it, not even canon ffs, but that's not entirely true because we engage not in a vacuum but in a fandom.

Gehrman fans, for one, are more interested in protecting themselves from being blocked on the spot, vagueblogged about and shunned as "misogyny apologists" than in ensuring no one's vision can differ from their. I am a better person and fan than I was 2-3 years ago, but I remember the urge to tear every hater apart even if they did NOT insult or bully anyone. Because they could, and I remembered situations when they would. I also remember the first time I responded on Gehrman slander with cold head and politely. It was such a good memory. Marika did not create a presumably inaccurate life-size replica of her dead student. She started genocide. Thus, yes, I assume that vitriol from haters is even more severe. You mentioned people drawing parallels with real events and excusing them, and everyone here knows it does happen. I understand why.

....however, what did we JUST conclude about "understanding the reasons for someone's behaviour"? That it simply humanises them, not automatically excuses them!

You know I'll be proud of myself over this one for a week at least XD I might have created a sort of gravitational field in my blog, that did attract some people who really dislike Marika and dislike fans that "woobify" her (do kids still use this word?). It might be just something autistic, because in my vision, just because I call character fascist or otherwise point out something awful about them doesn't mean I hate the character or call for hate! Same applies to @val-of-the-north, of course! It is very difficult to communicate that I am not here to be a part of antagonism, and when I get 'reactionary' anons I'll focus on their comfort over comfort of hypothetical people that only might see my posts. This alone gets me involved by effect. I will be at least part of the problem whether I want it or not, so is everyone who posts any observations and opinions in the fandom at all. Unfortunately, the ONLY way to be 100% good fan is to not participate in the fandom beyond being a content machine.

It is very easy to get caught in a cycle of reactionary paranoia and "returning" aggression. But bad fandom experiences should not make anyone resort to attacking-on-sight even if this person wasn't hateful but just shared their observations. Just as much as how experience with bad writing excusing vile things should not make anyone resort to trashing on explanations (and "heretical" fans that acknowledge them for a good measure). Both sides have the understandable reasons for being cringe. Both sides ALSO deserve to be grabbed by the collars and get their heads hit against each other, like in a sort of an outdated anime gag. 🙄

Anyway, man, thank you for this rant. You've put everything so well, and in a very short form. I still think you are better at 'Fromsoft philosophy' than I, and you WILL accept my compliment!!! Honestly, the dreaded practice of "caring about discourse" is not all reductive and evil or whatever. Heck, you kinda prove that it can be as much an expression of passion as creativity!

[mattywrites]

Okay, Tumblr mutuals, I want to present my scenario to you, and I'd genuinely like your input in the comments, or as an anonymous inbox if you aren't comfortable sharing shit publicly. I was in a casual situationship / friends with benefits type thing for a while, and we'd see one another regularly, with the strict knowledge that it was only physical. We clicked in that regard and there were no complaints whatsoever. We remained friends for the months we saw one another. However, recently, she confessed her love to me and asked me to stay over. I politely declined, acknowledged her feelings towards me, and then ended the 'with benefits' side of the friendship as it's cruel to continue being physical with someone knowing that they love you while you aren't able to reciprocate and share in those feelings with them. I thought things were cool. Cut to Saturday night when she came to my cocktail lounge with a different bloke. I served them as that was the professional thing to do but my disdain must've been apparent as I received a text message the following day asking, "What have I done to you?" I replied with, "I'm not gonna lie to ya' and you know I hate drama but bringing your new bloke to the bar was a pretty shitty thing to do. I'm all for you finding your happiness and finding someone. As a friend I'm genuinely all for that. However, I thought you would've had enough respect for me to at least not bring them to my lounge where I have to serve them". After I sent that I received about eight rapid fire messages that I haven't looked at yet but can only assume they're impulsive, angry screeds, as the I saw the notification for the last one and it wasn't the beginnings of a positive message, "You better get used to it because I'm going to be doing this more and more". Lmao. I consulted several mutual friends of ours and they said I did nothing wrong and that she's just being vindictive / trying to make me jealous. I'm not the jealous type so that isn't going to happen but I am curious as to what my mutuals here think and if I was the asshole in the situation. Feel free to let me know your thoughts as I'd love some alternate perspectives.

[americanrecord]

hey kelsey! i just wanted to say that i still think about the love letters series all the time lol. it’s crazy how much nostalgia can hit me over a fic, but i think that’s just a testament to how well written it was and how much of your heart you poured into it. and obviously, when i started reading it was for axl (unfortunately), but val and jill quickly won me over lol.

i just remember some of the asks you would get would frustrate me so bad because it felt like i was watching some people just reduce the girls to side characters or miss the point entirely. like, you would write something so nuanced and layered and then people would be in your inbox talking about the boys (like no shade ig cause like, yeah, they’re hot and fun, i get it but cmon). but yeah, i can’t imagine how frustrating that was on your end. i feel like that was such a big part of why people couldn’t fully appreciate it for what it was.

anyway, i think it’s really cool that you’re still writing and doing it on your own terms now. law school on top of everything else sounds like hell on earth, so i hope you’re giving yourself credit for even being upright through all of that. and if you do come back (to duffmckagans or wherever), i think a lot of us would be happy just to see you around again — whether you’re posting the fic or literally anything at all. but either way, i’m glad you’re still doing what you love, even if it looks a little different now. you deserve that.

hi! this is so sweet ♡ honestly speaking, the series has been a thought that's been sitting in the back of my mind every day for the last almost five years, but it was a few really kind recent messages and acknowledgments of support (as well as a push to return to writing it from my bad-influence-friends (said lovingly)) that pushed me back toward it on top of my personal motives as detailed in my last ask. it was knowing that i wasn't the only one who cared about it and that there were people out there who missed it or who really wanted to read what did exist of it that had me going: man 😭

which, like, if law school is true and that does come to fruition, who knows how much free time i'll have to even do all of this again. my gut says none. however, it really does make me happy to hear that it can drag up so many happy memories for people, especially when it was always a bit of shit-storm behind the scenes. i think most people started reading for either axl or izzy (or just the gnr boys)—which, btw, i'll never knock anybody for; it's why i started writing—but i do know so deep in my heart that what excited so many people by the end were either the girls/the relationships/the original aspect of it, which i truly am so grateful for. like, seriously. the amount of love the series as a whole got, bad apples aside (ha), is overwhelming and still motivating.

towards the end, long before more band controversy popped up and before i decided to branch off with original things, it really was the asks that started to grate on me. even writing so far in advance, having 30 chapters pre-loaded at any given moment, wasn't enough to deter receiving so many missed-nuance/intentionally cruel "confrontations" over super fake things. like why on earth was i called a cunt over actions of a fictional character! and for what? because people were mad valerie was the main character and always had been? always would be? never-guaranteed-anything-otherwise? it was just so, so frustrating and really leeched the love out of it for me. like, literally every week it went from my excitement (yay! new chapter) to dread (damn it, new chapter) because after seeing people's reactions from the "present" timeline of the fic, it made me fear for what was already written in the "future" of it. it was sign number one that some part of me at least wanted to redirect things to bend to people's will and i did not want the project to turn into anything i didn't want it to be. all else was just a perfect storm to deleting it. i have bounced back, however, and i have learned how to say "fuck you, it's my story," so i do think i could face the interweb with a little more confidence and not get so defensive bc, at the end of the daaaay, this is fanfiction. puuuuuure fanfiction. rpf, arguably the fakest kind. then it just leaves my other difficulties with posting, which i'm trying to iron out.

part of me does think people learned really quickly that i wasn't messing around when that fic got deleted, but like. eh, it was gonna happen anyway. i'm sure non-reader followers to duffmckagans took their first fresh breath of air in like three years.

but, yes! writing originally is still going well. i've written a draft and have it sitting next to my bed awaiting edits, but i've been a little too busy to get my head back into that headspace, whereas i find it's always easy to return to this one and to rewrite old things than it is to generate entirely new ideas. i had to start at the beginning because there were a lot of choices i made along the way i wouldn't make today, to a point where it would've been fruitless to return any other way. (plus, like, the amount of things i forgot?).

and thank you for your support!! i am still moving for right now .... probably firing on all cylinders for way too long now, but i have hope that it will settle soon and that i can find a minute to catch my breath before something else comes knocking. i do think i will be returning to duffmckagans quite soon, so if anybody who jumped ship wants to follow me again over there, regardless of whether or not anything comes of the writing, feel free. i've missed connecting with people very much 🩷

[away-ward]

Hello! I wanted to take a moment to address some up coming changes.

I can see that I've been getting a lot of new followers lately, and as always, this comes with an influx of new asks and messages. I want to be clear: I am not, nor have I ever, been bothered by receiving an ask or message. I love getting things in my inbox. Sometimes the content of the message bothers me, or I disagree with what's been sent, and that takes some time to navigate. But the act of communicating and starting a discussion has never been the issue for me.

However, this blog as has been functioning more or less as a Devil's Night fandom blog since 2022, and I've been receiving messages in my inbox since about October of that year. Just recently, we passed 300 messages (which, WhooHoo! yay us for having a (mostly) drama free time!)

Because I get new followers frequently, those who have just finished the series or who just found the blog, I tend to get some pretty similar messages. Since I've had this conversation before, I usually don't have anything new to say, and I don't want the blog to become the same post over and over again. At the same time, I have a hard time not responding to people who have sent in a message with genuine interest.

I have done a lot of hard work to make sure the tags are for organization, and not just for visibility or talking to my followers. For instance, if you want to find all my thoughts and views on Emory Scott, you can search for "#emory scott" on my blog, and it will bring up every post that is about Emory Scott. Because I don't tag for visibility, I will only add a character tag when the post applies directly to them. There's more about my Tagging System on the master list posts. This is true for all characters. I also frequently use "Character discussion" and "Series Discussion" or "Ko's dns tag" for posts that are more general about the series.

If You Are New: please, please, please, go through the character tags before you send me a message. I have been responding to messages for almost 2 years, 300+ replies. Someone has most likely already expressed your thoughts that I have responded to. I know it's a lot of backlog and you just want your thoughts responded to, but at least try to make sure I haven't already said the thing you're looking for.

Plus, the character tags are fun!

Again, I'm not mad! It can just be a little exhausting if all you're looking for is my thoughts, that I've already posted them somewhere else. Maybe you're not looking for my response, and you just want a place to post your thoughts anonymously. If that's the case, please clearly indicate that, but know that I won't post it. I'll read it! But I have no interest in being an anonymous message board (though maybe someone else can start that blog cause it sounds like that would be very popular...).

The only exception to this is Alex. Because I acknowledge that I get a lot of, what I would consider, Alex hate messages I don't like tagging it as Alex Palmer, because then it will go into the Alex Palmer tag, and readers who do enjoy her character will be forced to either block me (which is fine) or endure the several posts that hate on a character they like. I hate the idea of doing that to someone, and so I tend not to tag her.

Brings me to our first change:

Going forward, I will be tagging all the posts that have Alex as a topic of discussion as "no alex tag". It's just kind of funny to me to have a tag that literally is "no tag". It's, like, a joke.

When I come to a past post that is Alex centric, I'll be changing that as well, but it'll take a while to get through. However, I know I have some major Alex posts, and those I will tag immediately. My thoughts on Alex rarely change, though I go through phases of intensely disliking her to being mostly indifferent. I wish I had reasons to like her.

Second Change:

I usually try to respond to asks quickly, and in a timely manner because I hate making people wait. Waiting for someone to read and respond can give me anxiety, and I probably project that on to other people. That's my issue. However, I don't always have the time and I don't always like having huge sections of the blog that's just messages. If they're short enough it's not a problem, but I rarely receive messages on the shorter side. I know it can also be overwhelming to others.

So, I'm going to start queuing or scheduling my message replies, limiting to one or two a day, depending on how long they are or the content. This, hopefully, will avoid creating huge blocks of text on my blog and your dashboards.

Last time I made a change like this was when I started numbering asks and answerers, and that worked out great. People started using the numbers which made referring back easier! I hope you appreciate that I'm trying to keep the blog a bit cleaner and easier to navigate, avoid being repetitive, which is tough especially for new people coming in and not wanting to read a huge backlog of posts, and creating a more fun blog for everyone.

Thank you to everyone for understanding and working with me on this! The messages in my inbox will becoming out soon. Will open the anon messages if anyone has anything to say, though please be aware it might take me a while to reply - Thank you!

-KO

[cagedchoices]

Been seeing a lot of anon negativity lately and I just wanted to pass along, in addition to the usual "do not listen to whatever they're saying, this is your blog and you can run it however you want as long as that means you are not hurting anyone" and "block them if they persist, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life" as someone who analyzes problem behavior in psychology for fun, my personal advice is to never respond to anon hate if you can help it.

I've only gotten actual anon hate once in the 11 years I've been on tumblr and it was several years ago at this point. The most recent thing I dealt with wasn't actual anon *hate* but rather, I expressed a dislike for people constantly making "jesse stop playing with robots we need to cook" jokes in my askbox, which resulted in several people sending me more of those knowing it would get some kind of reaction from me. The only reason I got that to stop pretty quickly was because I stopped answering those kinds of messages and I stopped letting people know what other kinds of things could be weaponized against me. I've observed pretty carefully over the years that the blogs that get the most anon hate tend to be ones who readily respond to it.

No matter how funny or full of sass your response may be or how well you might think you're eviscerating these people in all their glaring insecurities, most of the time the only thing they are trying to accomplish is to get A Reaction out of you. It doesn't matter what kind of reaction, it just has to be some sort of acknowledgement that they can latch onto. So answering their asks, posting a screenshot of their message, or even making a "to the anon in my inbox/my friend's inbox/etc" post is enough for them to know their message was received and that's enough reward for them to continue doing it. Thus, my thought is to never even let them know you got a message in the first place. For all they know, tumblr glitched out and ate the ask or you blocked them and they sent that 500-word rant into the void and wasted their time and energy on nothing. People hate wasting effort on things they aren't getting anything out of.

[sunsetosirias]

Hello! this is in ref. to your COA post! I have a fuzzy memory on the topic because me and my teammates did play around the time of COA 2 still being in the line up, but it was like a good few years back. From what I recall though, they used to "phase out" the COA essences every 1-2 years. So you basically had a smaller time to pray to the gatcha gods to get skins (it also inticed people to whale for skins more). They later changed this around COA 4 after they kept bringing that line up back into circulation for smaller COA related stuff as a "limited return." Now they seem to have ditched that system all together. As for why they don't bring 1+2 back into the line up now, I cant say I'm all too sure. My main assumption is its probally something to do with sales or general public intrest the line ups upon their inital release. Might be worth harrassing a dev in their monthly QnA doc over /j

Thank you for your reply, I don't know how long this was sitting in my inbox and I'm sorry for the delay.

From the reblogs I've received, another reason the first two COA essences don't return is due to the limited tag they have as there wasn't a specific COA tag yet, with some people not wanting them to return as they'd paid for skins they believed were limited. I'm not sure if public opinion has changed on this as it's been years and I joined the game at the tail end of the COA 4 essence.

If there really is no way to bring the first two COA essences back into circulation, it would be pretty heartbreaking. I barely see people use those skins, it's always COA 3 onward but that's because they return every year. Maybe there isn't much public interest because the first two essences are rarely seen in game and rarely acknowledged by IDV in the grand scheme of things.

It makes me wonder about the more recent community's reaction if IDV announced they were bringing the COA 1+2 essences back. One can dream.