#but i do own two bfu shirts

[shaniacsboogara]

Getting tips from work is making me WAY too comfortable with the idea of spending all my money on Watcher merch

[sagamemes]

disastrio’s 'the pin list’ text starters.   below and under the cut, you can find ~100 messages dug up from the pins of the cursed group chat of three international friends. slightly edited for roleplay purposes. spelling errors opted to keep in tact to maintain the Energy(tm). edit as you please. tw: nsfw, mention of abuse.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u should know by now i'm not as much a complete person as i am several sitcom tropes stacked in an anxiety blanket

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   things that should not be present in making spaghetti and meatballs: sparks   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   things that were present when i was making spaghetti and meatballs two minutes ago: sparks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   give it a good deep fry and it'll make reddit front page

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you piece of fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm not making this up it's a real post

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i just really don't like the look of american hollywood boys apparently

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   quit trying to post porn [name]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what's deeper than emotional? are you going to /fuck/ the house?

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i genuinely don't know what i expected googling that thing but that was not it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i legitimately don't know how you're expecting me to reply to this

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm setting up my bfu episode

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u might finally be free of "[full name] fucks."

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   plural of jerry's is jerry'ses

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you're sharing so there's a trail in case someone ( maybe yourself ) goes missing when ur backs are turned

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i have yet to whip out dicks young lady

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   lizard brayo

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   fuck the fuck off tunglr

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what are Christmas goblins if not depression goblins with prettier aesthetics

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we're just two bitches trying to watch [actor] and then go to bed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   maybe complaining is what gets it off.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   well yeah, it's hard to knock on a door that doesn't exist

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   murdered by demons is our go-to

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we sound like the casting calls for the leads of the same gay cowboy movie

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   any blanket is a weighted blanket when u carry the weight of ur sins

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   We have some Amazing 🌈Bottoms🌈

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] i am confiscating ur thumbstacks

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   YOUR HUBRIS BECAME YOUR DOWNFALL

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what can i say i'm a sexual deviant and i can't be stopped

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   the stars neglected me. they haven't assigned me a fetish

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm pretty sure 'you are going to be the death of me' was like. the disclaimer of this entire squad

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   swipe right if you dare!

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but it tracks for the pachycephalosaurus

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   I SWEAR TO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   this chat is going to give me an aneurysm

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   "fully automated luxury gay space communism" is the best tag i've ever seen

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   why don't you have a stockpile of mothman memes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i really do owe my life to the aesthetic

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   u coax the worst things out of my mouth and then [screenshot/save/pin] them to record my mistakes

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur not allowed to die its just the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you two are going to be the death of me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   why are you paying for microsoft office in 2019

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   it's nearly [zodiac] season, bitches

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i see your "will make content for rarepairs" and i raise you "will make content for pairs literally no one has ever considered and probably for a good reason"

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i was DOOMED and thus so are all of u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i am going to snap your fingernails vertically in half

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   own that garbage

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh fuck that suck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   we were building a desert set which was less exciting and more construct-y but it did lead to the following conversation:   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   guy walking in: chickenwire, huh. what's gonna come out of that?   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   me: quicksand

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   viva la resistance motherfuckers

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   well the ass and the face are the most disturbing part

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   it was still very much about the shape of his teeth

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   a real whoosy boi

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   if i suffer y'all suffer that's the rules

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   also icb ur liveblogging your crime

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   granted i do still want the [body part(s)] to be attached to the person and not just laying around somewhere

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm gonna go with "have repressed all memories of this by tomorrow and even looking at this conversation for context isn't going to provide us with information"

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ... Well if u ever commit a crime and need to change ur hair ur all set

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh god i'd completely forgotten about the teeth conversation

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   something about that ass Haunts me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name]'s teeth are,,,,,,, h*t

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur not late, any time is a good time to hate capitalism

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh shit [name]s pulling out the big guns

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   listen as far as the things you could come back to go i think this is a good one

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   Amateur theatre energy is alarmingly similar to redneck ingenuity energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   threat acknowledged

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i take it back i don't want any more information

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what do we say to the god of baby germs

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   and then Goth happened

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   turn everything into a photishooot

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   but u also would have got pictures of me depositing the tiger in the cow shed

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i feel like you constantly forget that i'm always full of Good Points

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   you want to punish urself by seeking unhealthy relationships. also the stars say u may want to have ur feet fucked

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   "white orc sex slave" is not a phrase i thought i'd hear today

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   yeah raw sexual energy

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] perks up at the mention of lying to the fbi lmao

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   yall are dumb and i love u

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   HOW CRYPTID IS THE COWBOY IF U CAN TELL HE'S INDIFFERENT

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [image file saying 'mothman respects your position but must express his dissent. also you're going to die.]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ...do i need to make the vampire joke

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   ur amazing and so good and so important and lowkey i'm crying abt how much i love u and u deserve every good thing i love u thanks for coming to my ted talk

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   look me in the eyes and tell me steve wouldn't crawl up thanos's butthole to save the world and get bucky back

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   [name] i am going to choke you

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   my brain was immediately with "she took the shirt off to wipe away the blood of someone, possibly someone she murdered, and then had to put the shirt back on

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i literally never know what i'm going to come back to when i open this chat

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i make no excuses for who i am as a person

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i am going to jump off the edge of the earth.   [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   and that's not me saying flat earthers are right that's me saying i will flatten it myself and then jump off

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i'm trying to show sympathy you fuck

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   what can i say, i'm an escapist bitch

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   i never want to see dick and clown in the same sentence ever again

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   oh fuck off. i don't know what they've done but it's [name] so it's gonna be bad.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ]   icb we have a test run on new year's eve

[vincent-frankenstein]

Ghost Hunter AU

“yea boy im doing one of these bullet point outline things bc i dont have time to ever write this but im not letting this idea go to waste //dabs

sorta inspired by bfu bc i just started watching that yea boyyyy

this is such a mess im sorry

so lets set the context 

virgil and logan are both youtubers. virgil runs a paranormal channel, talking about different conspiracies and ghost stories and whatever; logan specializes in educational videos, specifcally history

and they watch each other’s channels and dont have a crush on each other what no

but then one day, their topics coincide

logan’s doing a video talking about the gruesome history of some old prison, and virgil’s doing a video on the ghostly legends that surround the place

they collab, and their viewers love it. they work really well together too; virgil’s spooky humor and logan’s skepticism mesh together and the fans adore them. it’s educational, it’s terrifying, and it’s fun. 

“hey, maybe we could collab more often?” Virgil asks when they go out for coffee after filming. “If... if you want.”

Logan does want

they make a joint channel not a week later

and thus begins their ghost hunting career

break here bc damn this got long shdfklhsdfk

virgil provides the terrifying ghost stories. logan provides the history. together, armed with their knowledge and their trust in each other, they conquer some of the most haunted spots in the world

including goatman’s bridge ofc

the video of logan yelling “FUCK YOU GOATMAN” goes viral within a few hours

“i cant believe you achieved meme status before i did,” virgil remarks, scrolling through their tag. “unfair.”

logan hastily pulls out his vocab cards. “uh — ah — then perish?” he says, and virgil laughs himself breathless

but then, they decide to investigate the legend of an old, abandoned house

it’s said that the house is haunted by an evil demon, who lures people inside and kills them in horrible, cruel ways. no one who sets foot in the house ever returns

so, naturaly, Logan and Virgil are going to spent the night.

they set up in the living room with sleeping bags and an ouija board and a spirit box and set to work

“Are there any demons in this house?” Virgil asks, ignoring Logan’s skeptical laughter. “Hello?”

The spirit box crackles and shrieks

and then

“L̪͈EÁ͂̌̾͐̃V̼͂È̲̱̟̔̑”

the clearest voice they’ve ever heard. even logan is shaken, eyes wide as he glances around the room. 

but the voice didnt sound angry, or evil, or cruel

it sounds scared

“GE̙͚̩͉T̺̯͔̲̟̍̈́̈ͤ͐ ̓ͤ̓̋O͖̳͔͕̺͚̯ͯ̃́̏ͬͩ̑UṬ̹̬͇͔̆̔ͨ͛̓” it screams. “GE̙͚̩͉T̺̯͔̲̟̍̈́̈ͤ͐ ̓ͤ̓̋O͖̳͔͕̺͚̯ͯ̃́̏ͬͩ̑UṬ̹̬͇͔̆̔ͨ͛̓ P͖̪̭͉̘̄͒͆ͮͬLE͚͎A̤͚̙͚̯̻͕ͯ̾ͦ̃ͯͮ̐SE”

virgil nearly drops the spirit box, his hands are shaking so badly. the room has grown so cold that their breath fogs in front of their faces. even logan has nothing to say.

they barely have time to share a glance before two men appear

one stands in the shadows, dressed all in black, his cloak billowing around him, one eye seeming to glow bright, poisonous yellow

the other has ashen skin and furiously beaming red eyes, hidden behind shattered glasses. his clawed fingers are curled into fists; his pastel-blue outfit stained with rusted red. one horn curls into a sharp point; the other is cracked off at the stump.

“i̻̘̽̂̏ͅ ̻͎̟̖t̞̞̅̍r̫̬̝̈́̂̏ȋ̥͎̰̟̲̠̯̉̋͆́̍ͥe̫͈̘͈̭͉ͩ͑̆̈́̐̾d ̣̥tô͚͓̤̥͐͌͛ ̄ͩͯ̑waṛ͑n̐̍͂ͦ ̞̹̣yͨ̔ͪͥͯou̟̻” he whispers, garbled

and in the split second before he lunges, Virgil spots tears in his eyes

they just barely escape with their lives. their gear is gone, left back in the house, and their lives are changed forever.

“well,” virgil says, breathless and terrifed. “you can’t be skeptical anymore.”

“shut up,” logan says. 

the logical thing would be to stay away from the house. logan says as much, at least three times. but virgil can’t stop thinking about the way the demon had tried to warn them, had pleaded with them to leave

there’s more to this story, he knows it. he wont let this one stay unsolved

so they dig through the town’s history, find records of the house’s owners, search and search and search until finally

Dolos Morel. the last known owner of the house. though he lived hundreds of years ago, there are no records of his death. he was imprisoned young, sentenced to death, but he vanished the day before he was set to die. 

he’s yet another unsolved mystery. virgil’s so used to those, he almost passes it by

but one thing stands out, one thing that makes virgil sure he’s the guy

he was born with one yellow eye

“this is him,” he says, slamming the records down on logan’s makeshift desk in their hotel room. logan scans the papers and nods, eyebrows furrowed

“why do you care so much?” logan asked, though he has to admit, he’s become invested in this as well

virgil doesnt answer

tears pooling in crimson eyes flash through his mind

finally, he meets logan’s eyes. “too many people have gotten hurt because of him,” he says. “i mean — shit, logan, we’ve got a real demon and some sort of immortal asshole on our hands. we should at least try to get to the bottom of it. isn’t that what we do?”

virgil doesn’t know where this heroic streak has come from. logan isnt sure what to think of it

hes not blushing shut up

but he and virgil have been partners for years. he’d follow him anywhere.

and so, armed with as much knowledge on exorcism and demonic protection as possible, and as many lucky charms and bottles of holy water as virgil can carry, the two set off to solve the mystery

they sit in the dusty living room, side by side on the floor. virgil turns on the spirit box and takes logan’s hand instinctively, and logan’s too busy watching the box to notice

“Why are you here, demon?” Virgil asks, getting straight (gay) to the point. “Are you Dolos Morel?”

“n̟̮̆ͦ,̯̫̖̦̼͚ͫ͐̋̊ͧ̄ ̝no̙” the box whispers through a cacophany of static

“Is Dolos Morel in this house?” Logan asks, more serious than Virgil has ever seen him on a hunt before. 

the voice hesitates

then: “yes̰“

virgil and logan share a look. virgil opens his mouth to ask more questions, but then

“ÿ͍͈ͣou͎̱͔͎̫̥̻ͤ͐̈́͐̔͂̚ ͖̭͙͙ͅh̤̠͔̜̲̙ͬ́ͧ̒̍̚aͨ̔̊͌ve̜̮͖͔̅͊ͭ̽ ̞͎̼͖̬̼̅ͦͦͨ̑ͪͮͅto ́̑̈ͫ̆͑le̳̹͛̈a̞̥͕͈̪̙̞v͖̇e̳͈͔ ͍͇̝̯̟̌̓̊̋̂y̜̍ou̺̱̪̼̟ ͉͇̹̼̗̭͕h͚a͐V̥̮̤͇̫̤E͓̹̥ͯ̓̈́̚ͅ ̟̔T̫̻̃͛O͖̫̞̰ ̂ͩ͆ͥ̈́L̬̳̞͔͇̪̲̊̔̎̽̄́̔E̲̩AVE͍̩̦̜͎ͩ̓͋̍̈́͐ͅ ̞̘̫N̿̋̉ͤ̽͋̆O̺͊W”

he wants to leave, his legs are about to give out, but the fear in the demons voice roots him to his spot.

“No!” he yells. “We’re not leaving.”

the spirit box goes silent. no crackling, no static; it’s like they turned it off

the air grows deathly still

“very well,” says a new voice, clear as day through the spirit box. “enjoy your stay.”

the world shifts and hisses and crackles and then goes dark.

when virgil wakes up, he’s in a dark room. his hands have been bound. he struggles and yells and screams for logan, and his stomach drops in terror when there’s no response. 

“you can’t get out,” says the first voice they’d heard in the spirit box. it’s more subdued, a whisper. “there’s no escape.”

“fuck that,” virgil growls, never once stopping straining against his bonds. “tell me what the hell is going on. where is logan?”

he doesn’t know where this bravery is coming from, red-hot and acidic as he snaps at the demon he knows is waiting just outside. maybe he knows he’ll die anyway, whether he’s polite or rude as all hell

“i-i can’t, kiddo,” the demon says. 

virgil hears remorse in his tone, maybe, and clings to it as his only hope.

“we came to help you,” he says. “but i need to know what’s going on. are you working with dolos?”

the demon falls silent. for a moment, virgil grows disappointed

but then the door opens and the demon stumbles in, his own clawed hands pressed tightly over his mouth

he meets virgil’s eyes, and shakes his head. no.

virgil remembers another unsolved legend he studied a while back: a man who would summon demons to trap them in agreements, getting himself eternal life, eternal power, and eternal fame in the process

“you’re trapped with him,” he guesses, and the demon jerks his head in a shaky nod. 

he cant feel good about being right for long

a loud yell pierces the air and virgil’s lungs forget how to work. “let me out,” he hisses, as his mind screams logan’s name. “you have to let me out now.”

“I-I can’t!” the demon cries, tearing his hands away from his mouth. “Dolos forbade it, I can only attack —”

“Then attack,” virgil says without hesitation. he plants his feet firmly on the ground and says it again, tensing beneath his bonds

the demon lunges — virgil spins — and the demon’s claws slice right through the thick fabric tying him to the chair. they sliced through his shirt, too, and his back aches, but he doesnt have time to dwell on that. 

he’s gotta save the man he loves

Logan stands across the room from Dolos Morel, among a minefield of broken chair bits. his face stings where dolos slapped him, and theres no chance of escape

but he’s smart. he’s cunning. he’s already gotten some of Dolos’ backstory and only confirmed what he already suspected

he hears a crash in a room down the hall and knows

he is not going to die here

virgil bursts down the door, brandishing a water gun like a deadly weapon, and soaks Dolos with a loud warcry

“Eat holy water, you shit!”

Dolos splutters. “I’m human, you fool. Holy water cannot harm me.”

“no,” logan says. “but this can.”

and he grabs Dolos and punches him directly in the face

logan shakes out his hand with a wince as dolos collapses to the floor and virgil becomes Too Gay To Function

and the demon steps forward and kneels beside his master, placing his hand on the weird symbol on the man’s left wrist. 

Dolos wakes with a start as the demon grabs his hand. logan and virgil stand watch as red light fills the space between them

“s̺̱̆͑ͨͅa͍̣͌̾y i̒ͧ͌t̜͕ͧ̓” the demon whispers

dolos’ fight drains and he slumps against the wall, his glowing eye fading to dull brown

“I release you” he whispers, and crumbles to dust.

the demon stumbles away from the pile of dust. he sobs once, then twice, and then doubles over, trembling, his eyes overflowing with tears

logan laces his fingers through virgil’s as he straightens up

“Thank you,” he says hoarsely. “thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“my name is patton,” he says when he’s stopped sobbing, “and i owe you my life.”

BONUS:

so now virge n lo have a Demon Friend and theyve p much proved the existence of the supernatural, but they dont want to stop making videos

still, it’s a few weeks before either of them brings up the notion of finding another haunted place to investigate

but virgil cant stay away from the supernatural for long

“I found our next stop,” he says, shoving his phone into logan’s hands. “A theater mysteriously burned down there like, 60 years ago. they say the spot is haunted by the spirit of the man who died in the fire.”

logan scrolls through the article, and nods. “it looks interesting,” he says, and returns virgil’s smile.

“let’s go find this Roman Kingsley.”

i might make a second post abt roman if yall are interested owo

[poepill]

askmeme

@cybzilla hello n thnk u for the ask cyb !!💕💕💕

also idk what i did but tumblr ate up half of my responses so i had to retype and make it in a separate post bc it wouldn’t let me edit the first oops, but !! here it is !! srry it took a while, putting it in a readmore since it got a bit long

Be- Have you changed much as a person in the last year?

mm i like to think so. in the small ways, there are little habits i hav now that i didnt then. like drinking peach tea every morning and waking up at 6 am every day. just the idea of peach tea gets me out of bed in the morning, which i gotta do if i want to get my bby bro to school so they count to me!! and then there’s bigger ways, like how a year ago i was living on my own & moving back home has been a shift to my priorities and hav taken on more responsibilities. hopefully the changes to come will be for the better too

In the Woods Somewhere- Have you ever had a supernatural experience?

ohhhhh i gotta think. it'sbeen a while, and most stories i know happened to other ppl….mm ok this got a bit long and not as spooky, but the first supernatural thing i can rlly remember happened at my cousins house when we were like 10? 11?? we would do our own ghost investigations (thank u zak bagans ghost adventure) which their mom HATED, but the five of us would sit in their bedroom in Complete darkness in different corners of the room, digital cameras rolling, asking questions & just waiting, Hoping for a voice, a touch, Something to happen…i mean we watched ghost adventures we were practically EXPERTS (buzzfeed unsolved who ?????) also this always done at their house bc that place was Haunted haunted. it was mostly my grandparents who experienced it, from seeing figures and touching and hearing voices, but theyre mexican Mexican™️ so they were p chill w it all lmao especially after the ghosts helped my grandpa from falling off the bed (another story).

anyway we wouldnt get much in our investigations tbh, plus 5-10 yr old kids sitting in a totally dark room in tense silence??? oh we were TERRIFIED, but we had to find proof no matter the cost!! (aka until their mom found out & made us stop). we would get small things like balls of light something that sounded like voices, mayyybe some shadows, yet the most memorable time of the whole thing was once when we left the camera on while we went to eat, and when came back to check the camera was dead. after it charged it we watched it, and within the first 10 min we saw a ball of light (thank u again mr bagans) leave the baseball we’ve been tryin to convince the ghost to move, zoom right towards the closet, and then a few seconds later there was a creaking sound, and we realized that the closet doors were sliding themselves shut…and those things were HEAVY, u needed two hands to do close them, and hav definitely never moved by themselves before. then a few minutes later we noticed a pencil on the desk slowlyyy, slowly roll right off (which was not as big but still exciting esp when we tried to recreate it and it wouldnt roll no matter where we put it). we watched it over and over, and while not too intense as other supernatural things that hav happened to us we were ECSTATIC (& scared as hell esp my cousin who didnt want to sleep in their house anymore after that oopslkfkfjdjd). we had proof!! gosh i wish i could find the video,,but it had mysteriously disappeared a week later....altho that might hav just been one of our parents lol.

our “ghost investigations” were TERRIFYING ngl but genuinely fun and, in hindsight, Maybe we Hadnt caught a ghost or supernatural presence, mayb it had been a few kids w a camera scaring themselves in a dark room, but,,,mayb,,just maybe,,,,*clenches fist* there Had been Something in that room,,,  

either way there have definitely been more credible occurrences since then but that’s for another time @ryan bergara hmu for ur next bfu my dms r Open  

Nobody- Who in your life is important to you?

list of ppl important to me aka “ppl I’d die for”: my friends, who promised to watch sonic w me so u KNO this is for life 😔💕; my bby bro, who kindly peerpressured me into buying the quark shirt im wearing rn

and.a lil cheesy but. myself too ✌💕

[obsidiancreates]

"Wh-? I jus' woke up..." with anyone? *hugs*

(*hugs back*)

(Anyone remember…this ol’ prompt? All the way back from November 2018. Boom, it’s got a sequel now! So uh, a lot of blood mentions. JJ got beat up pretty bad, and there’s a dead guy. Oh, oh this got much darker than I meant it to. Well, that’s what happens when you binge BFU for days, I guess.)

“Jackie! JACKIE!”

Jackie’s eyes flew open and he twitched in alarm, the shouting of his brother rousing him from the deepest sleep he’d had in weeks. “Hnn?”

Marvin ran into the room. He was twisting the end of his cape in his hands, shaking. “Jackie, something happened and Schneep said we need to get to the hospital now!” Word’s spilled from Marvin so rapidly that Jackie could hardly keep up. “Schneep got a text from JJ and it was a lot of nonsense except for one word and it was ‘Help’ and he said his phone glitched and it said ‘Help him’ with that creepy font Anti loves and he heard laughing and we have to go find JJ, we have to-”

“Wh-? I jus’ woke up…slow down,” Jackie mumbled. Then Marvin’s words slipped in through the fog of sleepiness, and Jackie shot up out of bed. “Does Schneep know anything?” he demanded, scrambling to find his suit. “Any way to narrow down JJ’s location?”

“I-I don’t know. I can try a tracking spell but if Anti is involved I don’t know if it’ll work!”

“Just try!” Jackie ran into his bathroom and changed into his superhero suit as quickly as he could. 

His hands shook as he put on his belt. He pictured JJ in the hands of that demon, his little brother at the mercy of Anti, and he nearly threw up. “We’re gonna find him. We’re gonna find him,” he mumbled to himself. He ran back out the room.

Marvin stood in the middle of Jackie’s room. He’d cleared away some of the clutter and held a book in one hand. His other hand was extended out, magic swirling around it, as Marvin muttered words in a language Jackie didn’t know. Marvin turned his palm up, and looked at Jackie. “I need something of JJ’s!”

Jackie nodded and scanned the room. He picked up a handkerchief that JJ had given him when, much to the gentleman’s horror, he learned that none of them owned one. “Will this do?”

Marvin nodded. “Put it right above my palm.” Jackie obeyed. The handkerchief hovered just above Marvin’s palm as wisps of blue and green magic swirled around it.  “Okay, I need a map or something!”

“Will a phone-”

“Yeah!”

Jackie held out his phone. Marvin closed the book he held and tucked it back into his bag. He pointed that hand at Jackie’s phone, and the magic flowed from the handkerchief to the phone. The last bit of soft green disappeared, and Marvin wobbled where he stood. “Oh fuck, I should have practiced that one more,” he said, wiping his forehead. “Did it work?”

“I think so! Can you make us a portal?”

Marvin nodded. The room filled with the soft blue and green glows, and then they came together in a circle. With a flash of light the portal opened and the two jumped through.

As soon as they were through Jackie stumbled back, his hands flying up to cover his mouth.

JJ was slumped against the wall of an alleyway, sitting across from the corpse of a man that Jackie recognized as one of the small-time villains of the city. JJ was covered in blood. It was all over his vest and shirt, staining the white a bright red and turning the blue dark. It was splattered on his face, his neck, everywhere. 

The alley floor was not better off. There was a pool of blood on the ground and tails of it everywhere. The other man, the body, lay in a huge puddle of it. Jackie couldn’t process what he was seeing. What had happened? How did it happen?

Marvin’s mouth hung open. “Holy shit…” he breathed. 

“Marvin,” Jackie croaked, “Get JJ.”

Marvin snapped out of it. “Right, right.” He went over to JJ, who had barely moved the whole time, only slight twitching as he breathed far too shallowly, and screamed. “Holy shit!” Marvin leaned JJ’s head forwards, exposing the bloody, matted mess that was the back of his head. Marvin put his hands over the wound and began muttering a healing spell with urgency. 

Jackie’s eyes wandered to the dead man. He slowly approached the body, which laid on it’s stomach on the pavement, it’s face turned to lay on the left side. He had a terrible feeling that it had been done on purpose, so that he would see who it was. He moved it a little bit, to see the front better and check for wounds. He reeled back almost immediately.

The man’s throat was slit.

Jackie could almost hear Anti’s laughter. The glitch was behind this. He had to be. ‘He must have tried to make this guy kill JJ for him! I bet he told him that JJ and I are related. Promised him revenge on me.’

But…why would this man be dead, and not JJ?

“Jackie, we need to get JJ to the hospital now,” Marvin said. “I did a healing spell but it won’t be enough for very long! I-I don’t even know how much blood he’s lost, but it’s too much!”

Jackie backed away from the body and turned to his brothers. He picked JJ up while Marvin opened a portal. Jackie looked down at his youngest brother’s face. Too pale, covered in blood, eyes twisted shut like he was having a nightmare…

Rage boiled in Jackie’s chest. Whatever Anti had done, he would regret.

(Okay this has a potential for a part three but we all know my procrastination habits so no promises.)

[hotdadlicense]

ahh for my dearest zhenya @fapfapfashion lover! heres that bfu post i said id make for you like monnnnnths ago i PROMISE i never forgot! just :(:( life. but anyway this was FUN i love youuuu! disclaimer: im not rly in the fandom this is all stuff i see through like just some friends reblogging stuff every now and again and whenever i go to the tag to find stuff sometimes but ANWAY I HOPE its semi coherent <3<3<3 love YOU.

OKAY I FEEL LIKE i said YEH ILL MAKE YOU A MASTERPOST FUCK YEAH but now im like hmmm making a buzzfeed unsolved masterpost is.......not that much cos its like? all there on their youtube channels like its not like music or stuff where theres yknow albums! singles! unreleased songs! special live performances! music videos! documentaries! band info! like its all over on buzzfeed multiplayer youtube and buzzfeed unsolved network youtube but whatever i can ramble about dumb shit and link some stuff so ayeee.

heres the links to the actual videos:

SUPERNATURAL

+ season one // two // three // four // five

+ supernatural: postmortem

TRUE CRIME

season one // two // three // four

+ true crime: postmortem

all eps in order (including postmortem)

personal favs

a vid that bab @chantillystars linked me and i watch it every time im feelin not fresh so i can smile

someone elses better done video round up master post! op ur incredible

now under the cut cos i realy did ramble :(

okay so THE HOSTS!

RYAN BERGARA (insta//twitter)

the fucking creator and inventer of bfu its his baby and im so proud of him and how far its come <3

when the season finale of the latest supernatural premiered it trended at number 1 over the fucking new lion king trailer and he got emo on twitter and insta about it and i cried a lil bit

fucking loves sports basketball or whatever themeparks popcorn and paddington bear

not scared enough of ghosts to not sleep in a haunted house but is scared enough that he absolutely will scream the whole entire time that he is in said haunted house

first ghost encounter was on the queen mary when he was a teenager. the ghost knocked his toothpaste of the shelf and he freaked. and now he has shat his pants at every bump in the night since. icon!

works his ass for to produce mass amounts of content for us like its fucking insane? all up there are like 9 seasons of bfu plus post-mortems and its only been going since 2014?? plus everything else hes got happening??

rly sweet and funny but like in a frat boi kinda way but like. a frat boi you could trust?

SHANE MADEJ (insta//twitter)

wasnt actually the original cohost!

(BRENT was the orignal host but had to beg out a couple episodes in cos he was juggling too many commitments so which fair!)

ryan and shane were desk partners and longtime buzzfeed pals that ? if i remember correctly? interned together back when they first started?

ryan turned to shane one day and was like ‘yo, wanna cohost this show with me?’ and shane was like 'sure.’ and honestly trying to picture it now without shane?? okay ryan and shane just bounce off each other so well theyre like a dream team. god bless them being desk buddies and work pals.

shanes a freak

does not believe in ghosts spirits orbs and all things that go bump in the night like he seems to genuinely want to but like. science and his big ass brain wont let him.

very smart! can rly work a patterned floral shirt! or plaid! kinda gives a dad vibe in glasses but then he talks and its like okay please never supervise a child!

v into history! so much so that he has his own lil show on buzzfeed aka:

RUINING HISTORY

stars him along with ryan and sara (his beautiful and smart and talented gf who also works at buzzfeed <3) with some other ever changing cohosts

hes also responsible for The Hot Dog Saga aka THE HOTDAGA and i know there are people that adore it but! in their own words! id rather walk into the sea.

ryan, too, hates the hotdaga and i feel like this was? about the hotdaga after shane sung something fuck if i remmebr

RYAN + SHANE

these gifs are from the ?second ep? i saw of them honestly it rly sums up the ryan/shane dynamic i guess

but like. the way ryan looks and laughs whenever shane says something mildly funny? hearteyes mutherfucker

above when i said shanes a freak? yeah.

ryan letting shane live as long as he has? true friendship

whenever theyre at the lil desk in their lil basement talking cases shane just talks shit and ryan just lets him and i fucking love them

the LAST FRAME

oh one time they lucked out with a hotel that had a jacuzzi tub <3

yknow what? this was actually kinda sweet. like yeh bitch

shane madej: nations greatest tragedy.

i can hear this in my head just looking at these gifs and it makes me laugh everytime and thats BAD cos a child fucking died

shanes a freak pt.2

OH SHIT one time in postmortem they joked that brent was coming back and shane was leaving and fuck? they had to actually address that it was a joke fUCK

its not all shittalking and screaming there really is some fond and happy shit too

bfu most recognisable and iconic line.

shanes hottest pick up lines when hes on site

the comments on the video for this ep about this part are fucking hilarious please read when you watch that ep

okay its common knowledge that shanes a demon which ill tlak about in a sec but THIS SCENE RIGHT HERE? ryans the fucking demon. like the way hes just standing there, hands clasped behind his back, giving shane (whos acting like a CHILD) that Look? demon bout to kill the dumbass chillin at a haunted house on halloween. come to collet a soul or 10. magical!

OKAY SO SHANE TALKS SOME BIG GAME IN THE EPS but HIS love for ryan will always melt my heart like HE LOVES and cares about ryan so much and supports buzzfeed unsolved so much and whenever things get dumb on social media shanes ready to call it out and make a post or just like. praise ryan (like he rightfully deserves) and yeah im emo about it anyway hes shane being cute part one and heres shane REALLY FUCKING going all out (!!!!!!!!!!.meme)i LOVE him also being cute part two

‘id walk into the sea.’

shanes a freak pt.3

ryan: “Are ghosts real?” shane: *this dumb face*

NERDS

i laughed for like 10 minutes the first time i watched this part thankyou shane

THEM LAUGHING TILL THEY CRIED ABOUT SOMEONE THAT DIED PLAYING THE PIANO

a real insight to shanes mind

ryan really puts up with this

shane got a bowlcut once just for funsies like okay youre no joba but good job i guess

TROPES/ICONIC MEMES/WAHTEVER:

shanes a demon

+ free real estate.meme

+ the office.meme

+ he aint right

+ JALDSHFK FUCK

+ ryan acknowledging that shane is a demon thankyou

+ like the good thing about having a guest fill in on the few times shanes been away has been ryan always being like okay so the demons not here so lets just acknowledge That

goatsman bridge

+ the video that started all this aka the one you reblogged hehhehe

+ what a fucking JOKE

+ an absolute JOKE

+ bridge owner fuck OFF

+ ksdjhfgjhsdkj.meme

sallie house

+ shane was insufferable this episode i fell in love for real how did ryan LIVE

+ like imagine trying to feel your heart beating while fucking shanes over there doing That

+ rock n roll buckaroo

+ swell has become apart of my daily vocal i hate

bobby mack

+ ‘hey there demons. its me, ya boi.’

+ ‘and frankly i dont believe in you, so i feel like im writing a letter to santa claus right now.’

+ tweet.meme

+ overall a great ep

+ can shane calm the fuck down okay i need ryan to make it out of this SAFELY and ALIVE

father thomas

+ ryans FACE also shane being that annoying sibling to ur parents

+ father thomas really went into this thinking he could help these boys to be fair shane was taking notes. ryan was just? dying inside

+ freak

+ imagine being like a 70 yr old priest hearing some dudes walking into ur congregation and overhearing ‘jesus said chill.’

bigfoot

+ ryan does not rly believe in bigfoot but shane does so like you win some you lose some

+ in the least shippy way possible this epsiode is ultimate soft gays going on a hike

+ like its just such a sweet domestic ep

+ <3

+ just happy babbey

[banshee-cheekbones]

11 for the sappy prompts? BTW I love your whole thing

11 = “I thought you didn’t want me.”

I went with Shyan for this one, but let me know if you wanted another pairing and I’ll see what I can do! 

also written for prompt roulette at the bfu writers discord, using the prompt ‘coffee shop au’ and for day 2 of the shyanpositivity event (i’m late, what a surprise). 

roughly a G rating, 1.3k, on ao3 here.

true love (is making fun of assholes together)

Ryan’s fairly certain that he’s been scrubbing at the same non-existent stain on the counter for the last five minutes.

They’re closing in twenty minutes, and there’s only a handful of customers that are still hanging around, regulars that Ryan can trust to head out before they flip the sign. Normally, he’d take advantage of the quiet to try to get a head-start on their closing routine, would go clean the bathrooms or tidy the tiny break room, but he can’t bring himself to move.

That would mean that he’d have to stop eavesdropping on the asshole sitting at the table closest to the counter.

He came in fifteen minutes ago, ordered a black coffee and a croissant, pulled a disgruntled face when Shane asked him if he wanted the croissant toasted, as if the answer should have been obvious, and dropped down at the nearest table heavily enough for the chair to creak alarmingly. Immediately after he finished demolishing his croissant (leaving behind a flurry of crumbs over both the table and his shirt), he’d yanked his phone out and called someone, and it’s that conversation that Ryan can’t stop listening to.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Based on the fact that Shane has been pretending to count their leftover baked goods for the last several minutes, Ryan suspects that they’re both in the same boat. Shane only glances from the glass display case to wave goodnight to one of their regulars before he returns to staring at the muffins and croissants, mouth screwed up like he’s trying with all his effort not to laugh.

Ryan can relate; he’s met some real dickheads since he started college, has unfortunately encountered quite a few while he was on the job, but this guy truly takes the cake for being an asshole. Even with only being able to hear one half of the conversation, it’s pretty clear that he’s trying to work the ‘nice guy’ angle, and based on the way his face is growing increasingly red and crumpling into a look Ryan can only describe as crestfallen, the person on the other end of the line isn’t falling for it.

“But…” The guy trails off, presumably because he’s interrupted, and Ryan glances at Shane out of the corner of his eye. Shane’s eyes are twinkling with mirth, and there’s a slight, but still noticeable, shake to his shoulders, like the laughter is about to burst from his chest like an animal escaping from the zoo.

“But I thought you didn’t want me,” the guy continues, and he sounds so pathetic that Ryan kind of wants to throw the rag he’s been using to ‘clean’ at his head.

“Oh my God,” he whispers instead, stepping away from the counter and walking behind Shane. Out of habit, he trails his fingers along Shane’s back before he steps over to the espresso machine so he can pretend to polish that.

“This is better than the last six movies we’ve watched,” Shane replies before he breaks into a beaming grin and calls out, “Have a good night!” when another one of their regulars drops a tip into the small jar on the counter and heads out.

Before Ryan can say anything, it somehow gets even better.

“Well, if you didn’t want me, then why did you help me study for that exam?”

Laughter abruptly bursts from Shane’s chest like a thunderclap, and that’s enough to make Ryan lose it too. There’s no point in trying to restrain himself; it’d be like trying to cap a volcano after it’s already erupted. When he glances up, he’s not surprised to see that the guy is glowering at the two of them, phone still hovering in front of his ear, but that just makes him laugh even harder.

“Seriously, man?” Shane splutters, tears flowing down his lightly stubbled cheeks. “You actually just asked someone that. For real.”

The guy spits out a few half-formed words, face growing increasingly redder, and after only a few seconds, Ryan decides to put him out his misery.

“C’mon, dude,” he says, shaking his head. “They aren’t into you. And I don’t blame them, frankly.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Shane stick his hand out, and Ryan automatically fistbumps him without turning his head.

For a few moments, the guy doesn’t say anything coherent. His face reddens further, until Ryan is actually afraid he might have a heart attack, and his grip tightens on his phone until Ryan half-expects the case to crack.

And all the while, Ryan just can’t stop laughing.

Eventually, the guy shoves his phone into his pocket (Ryan assumes that whoever was on the other end has already hung up) and gathers up the rest of his things. Once he’s on his feet, still glaring at them, he reaches out and, like a particularly vindictive cat, pushes the saucer that his croissant came on to the floor.

The saucer hits the tile with a loud thunk, but it doesn’t actually break, and for a few seconds, the guy simply stares down at it with the most perplexed expression Ryan has ever seen. He wheezes helplessly, and tears start leaking from his own eyes.

“Don’t worry, we’ll grab that for you,” he says, leaning heavily into Shane’s side, ribs aching, bracing himself on the counter with one hand so that he doesn’t simply fall over.

“Fuck you,” the guy mutters under his breath, cheeks nearly purple with rage as he walks towards the door.

“Have a nice night!” Shane says cheerily, throwing in a wave for extra emphasis. As soon as the guy’s back is totally turned, that wave turns into an jauntily extended middle finger, and Ryan laughs even harder.

“Jesus Christ,” he says, wiping at his eyes once the bell over the door quits ringing. The shop is totally empty now, and even though there’s still technically ten minutes before close, he doesn’t feel guilty about stepping out from behind the counter so he can turn the sign over and flick the lock on the door. “What a fucking guy.”

“I thought his head was going to explode.” Shane comes out into the main area to start stacking the chairs on the tables, but he’s only done two before he stops and starts laughing again, almost silent with the force of it, shoulders heaving. When Ryan looks over, Shane is simply pointing at where the saucer is still lying on the floor, totally intact. Eventually, he manages to choke out, “The fucking plate,” before he sags back against the counter and dissolves into wheezing. He looks simply delighted at the sheer absurdity of the situation, and even as Ryan chokes on more laughter of his own, he falls a little harder for the guy.

Once he’s pulled the blinds down over the two windows that face out onto the sidewalk (it takes a few tries, because his shoulders are shaking so hard), he crosses the room to where Shane is wiping at his leaking eyes with the back of his hand.

“C’mere,” he says, curling a hand into the rough fabric of Shane’s barista apron and tugging him forward a bit. Shane gasps loudly as he casually tosses his long arms around Ryan’s neck.

“But Ryan,” he proclaims loudly, like an aghast actress in a soap opera, “I thought you didn’t want me.”

“You know damn well that isn’t true,” Ryan answers, shaking his head and trying his best to restrain his laughter so that he can actually slot his mouth against Shane’s.

“Do I, though?” Shane raises one eyebrow and lightly drums his fingers on the back of Ryan’s neck, eyes still sparkling with tears of amusement. “Maybe you should prove it.”

“Fine,” Ryan shrugs, pressing Shane back against the counter and leaning up onto his toes. “I will.”

(By the time they manage to break away from each other, Ryan having satisfactorily proven his point, they’re already half an hour behind schedule.

Ryan regrets nothing.)

[starwrite-er]

Romance Is Dead - Poe Dameron x Reader

A/N: I while ago I was talking with Zoe ( @the-new-fanfic-order ) about a BFU!AU and lmao i couldn’t let my words go unwritten also this is based on the Viaduct Tavern episode lol simply because it has the spirit box and nice tables

“So, this is it. The historic Viaduct Tavern.” I announce, glancing back at Poe who hums in acknowledgment.

“Incredible floral display out here.” He says, managing to keep his voice incredible earnest.

“Impressive architecture,” I go along with Poe’s apparent line of thought. “Kinda strange that there’s something more sinister that lurks beneath.”

Poe wheezes out a laugh, watching me, the corners of his eyes crinkling fondly. “So poetic,” He says as we grin at each other. “C’mon, let’s go grab a pint.”

The pub is still well lit when we step inside, albeit also empty. It’s certainly not too shabby, the bar clean and the chairs covered with leather upholstery, the colour scheme complementary. A shame it’s probably haunted.

Poe snaps his fingers as something occurs to him. “Y’know what would really send the fans into a frenzy?”

“What?” I ask, eying him curiously. “Whatever it is, it can’t possibly beat the hot-tub at the Dauphine Orleans Hotel.”

“Okay, maybe not,” Poe laughs at the memory. He reaches into the deep pocket of his coat and pulls out a short candle and a lighter, waving it at me. “But everyone loves mood lighting!”

“I’m sorry, but what the fuck?” I laugh in confusion. “Why the fuck have you been carrying around a candle in your pocket?” Naturally picking out the opportunity for an innuendo, Poe winks dramatically at me. I shake my head, still smiling though. “Okay, yeah, I walked straight into that one.”

“Really, though, we should put together a couple of promo pics, so I hope you brought your spirit box,” Poe grins at me, setting up the candle on a low table. I sigh at his endearing behaviour, passing him the equipment which he places alongside the wax stick. “Great! Now take off your jacket.”

“Uh, why?” I question, eyebrow raised. “Dude, if you want me to get changed in a haunted building, it’s not happening.”

“But you’d get changed elsewhere with him?” Jessika pipes up from her place behind the camera.

“Oh my god, you know that’s not what I meant,” I roll my eyes, shrugging off my jacket. Something clicks as I do so. “Wait, Poe, is this why you decided to pick out my outfit for this video?”

“Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we have a winner!” Poe’s grin never falters as he takes off his own coat, revealing a white shirt with the top couple of buttons undone. Wow, okay.

Within a few minutes, Jess has enlisted the help of Snap, who was going stand behind at the hotel, and has put together a makeshift set, complete with lighting, her camera taking a plethora of shots.

“How much are you willing to bet the ghosts here hate us for this?” I ask Poe, leaning forward.

“If this place is actually haunted.” He points out, to which I roll my eyes.

“Don’t be such a spoil sport,” I chide. He chuckles, and a lame thought pops to mind. “Besides, you know what they say.”

“What?” He prompts me to continue.

“Romance is dead.” I state, grinning as Poe genuinely laughs at my low-quality joke.

“Jesus, you two are sappy,” Jess says, smiling at us. “But, hey, we have some good shots here. Hope you two enjoy dating rumours, though.”

“Eh, it wouldn’t be fun otherwise.” Poe replies, standing and offering me a hand.

“Aw, and here I thought you only stuck around for the spirits,” I coo, blowing out the candle as Poe pulls me to my feet. “Now, let’s go bust some ghosts or whatever, shall we?”

[lengthy-artery]

Tagged by: @beaniegara, thank you Naluh x

rules: tag 9 cool kids

Color(s) I’m currently wearing: Grey, grey, dark navy, and a fluorescent pink t-shirt.

Last band t-shirt I bought: Don’t own any, but I have a fair collection of shirts from my uni’s musical theatre society.

Last band I saw live: Haven’t seen any live.

Lipstick or chapstick?: Neither.

Last song I listened to: This. The first two really get me in a fluff-writing headspace and I don’t know why.

Last movie I watched: I just got home from seeing Love, Simon!

Last three tv shows I watched: Brooklyn 99, BFU Supernatural, Critical Role

Last three characters I identified with: Critical Role’s Caleb Widogast, and beyond that I don’t know. I don’t often identify with characters.

Book I’m currently reading: I am slooooowly reading Lords And Ladies by Terry Pratchett.

I can’t think of anyone to tag who hasn’t already been tagged, so this is a free-for-all tag! Consider yourself tagged if you want to do this!

[crimsxnflxwerz]

Don’t Want it Troubling Your Mind [bfu fic] -chapter 3

Don’t Want it Troubling Your Mind Fandom: buzzfeed unsolved Pairing: Shane Madej/Ryan Bergara; Shane Madej & Ryan Bergara Summary: Shane Madej really liked Ryan Bergara. He was funny, a joy to mess with, and took his brand of teasing pretty well. He would consider him a friend, kind of. But when the team goes to investigate the Franklin Castle for ghosts, Shane gets more than he bargained for, and the results could cost him his friendship with Ryan. Rating: teen Warnings: Demonic Possession, Existential Crisis, Complicated Relationships Authors note: This is a repost from Archive for people who don’t like Archive/prefer tumblr/etc. sup guys.

In the middle of their third movie, this one was about strange disappearances, Ryan fell asleep. His head was resting heavily upon Shane’s shoulder. It was a weight that felt strangely nice. Shane nudged a popcorn bowl with his foot that they’d set on the floor, and leaned his head back against the couch. He heard the voice of the narrator on the television saying something about a man who disappeared in Mexico, but he wasn’t really paying much attention anymore.

He thought about how Ryan would probably have a supernatural explanation for this one too. Like the girl who drowned in the hotel water supply, that was a poltergeist, not just a tragic accident. It was almost like Ryan couldn’t really accept that sometimes those things happened. People died, and sometimes we can’t explain why. If this was a time before medicine, he’s sure Ryan would have a supernatural explanation for cancer, for heart attacks, or mental illness. Everyone did, at the time.

He guessed though, that some of those things were real, with his new-found evidence. He had half a mind to ask Anael about the girl at the hotel, or the man in Mexico, or maybe even D.B. Cooper. A part of him, though, wanted to keep it all a mystery. It was more fun that way, he thought. Yeah, they looked at unsolved cases, and yeah, they made him question things a little bit, but ultimately, he stood by what he had said before. He was okay with them being unsolved. It’s so exhausting to go through life trying to solve everything. There wasn’t always an answer, and that was the truth.

He felt Ryan shift a little into him with a soft mutter. He moved his arm so he could put it on the back of the couch, to keep it from getting crushed between them. With his other arm, he grabbed the folded blanket Ryan had taken out for him earlier, and spread it over them.

As the voice on the television droned on, Shane felt himself drifting off. He was warm, and comfortable, and he needed a good rest.

In his dream, he’s hot. He takes off his shirt and starts unbuttoning his pants when he realizes that the heat isn’t coming from the air around him, it’s coming from inside him. He’s not sure what to do, watching his skin as it rapidly dries up, blood rushing through him, his body blushing in awkward patches. He curls up in a ball, breathing heavily. Even his breath scorches his throat.

From behind him, a pair of hands grab his shoulders. They’re cold as ice, and where the hot and cold skin meet, steam billows out. He turns to face the person touching him, but the steam is thick and white and he can’t see through it.

He blinks. He finds himself in a bedroom. It’s a dark blue, light peeking in from the moon illuminating strips over various furniture and clutter. He’s sitting on the bed there, his face turned to the side, watching a body cast in shadow. His own body moves on its own, leaning in towards the figure, and kissing them delicately. The figure lets it happen for a moment, before pushing him back an inch.

“No,” and it’s sounds like Ryan. But why would he be kissing Ryan? His head hurts, his chest hurts. He didn’t mean to do that— The figure gets up, standing in the light, and it is Ryan for a moment. Then his body twists, and he becomes a shadow even in the light, a void of swarming bees. There’s a noise, like static radio, in his ears, drowning out everything else. He can’t move, even though he wants to leave, to get away.

Shane jolted awake, looking around the room frantically. The light in the kitchen was on. The television was turned off, the droning narrator silenced. He looked to his side, and Ryan was gone, but the blanket remained. He looked towards the window to see that it was still dark out. His phone chirped.

Low Phone Battery – 12%

He groaned as he leaned over to dig his charger out of his bag. The blanket slipped off his shoulder onto the couch. He plugged his phone in, and watched it until the screen darkened from inactivity. He rubbed his eyes. He could barely remember his dream now, as the edges of it began to blur and fade, but he does remember something very vividly. He remembered not being able to control his body, feeling trapped as he kissed his friend. He shivered at the mental picture. He didn’t dwell on it, however, and backtracked to the hot and cold. What even was that? He remembered the cold hands from Franklin Castle. The demon named Anael had done that, right? Well, if the demon was actually real, and not just a rabid figment of his imagination.

A clatter in the kitchen, followed by a hushed curse, practically made Shane jump. He stood up sleepily and ducked into the kitchen. The first thing he saw was the time: 3:53 am. The second thing he saw was Ryan bent over to retrieve a metal spoon from the floor. He put the spoon on the counter and started when he saw Shane peaking in.

“Whoa, dude, don’t scare me like that!” Ryan said, smiling a bit and laughing. “I didn’t expect you to be awake. You looked pretty clocked out.”

“Well, with all the noise you’re making,” Shane teased. Ryan flicked at his arm playfully. “Nah, a dream woke me up.”

“Oh? What kind of dream?” Ryan asked, moving the spoon to a cup in the sink. He grabbed a mug on the counter that was steaming slightly. He guessed Ryan made coffee or something. He hadn’t noticed when he first came in, but it did smell like it. He looked around to see what he’d made it with.

“Just a freaky dream about demons or something,” he said quickly, then, “is that coffee? Did you brew a pot or-?”

“Oh, this? I just used my Keurig. Feel free to make yourself a cup, though. I have half and half in the fridge.” He paused, thoughtfully, and took a sip from his cup. “What kind of dreams have demons in them?”

Shane nodded and opened a random cupboard, finding the mugs by luck alone. Well, he figured they were there, because the cupboard was right above the Keurig. He took out one that said, “Boo Bitches” in a font that looked like bones. He related to this mug. “I dunno, the freaky kind?”

While he picked out a kind of coffee to have (Normal or dark? Or really dark. Such a hard decision), Ryan leaned against the counter and sighed.

“Sorry if I drooled on you earlier. I didn’t think I was that tired.” He said. “The guy just kept talking, and his monotone voice put me right out.”

“Haha, no worries. I was surprised your head even reached my shoulder.” Shane teased. Ryan rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless.

“You’re the one that’s freakishly tall!” Ryan accused. Shane popped a k-cup into the coffee machine. It read Jim’s Quality Morning Brew. Whatever a morning brew was. He hoped it was good.

“I dunno,” Shane said. He merely shrugged.

“One time you hit your head on an exit sign.”

“That was a low exit sign!” Shane argued, although the point was convincing. “Talk about real fire hazards.”

“Well, they’re not hazards to people of normal height.” Ryan said, unhelpfully. Shane moved over to the fridge and grabbed the half and half. His coffee poured rather loudly into the mug as he glared at his friend.

“Sure, you’re normal height, and I’m a monkey’s uncle.” He said. Ryan laughed, grinning, his hand on his chest. Shane grabbed his cup when it was done pouring, and got a spoon to mix in a bit of half and half. He sipped it, the heat warming his body. He watched Ryan laugh with humor in his eyes.

“Maybe you are!” Ryan chuckled. He took another sip of coffee.

“Did you sleep well, though?” Shane asked.

“Yeah, actually. You’re comfier than you look.” He teased. He scratched he back of his neck. “You look so lanky, but it’s actually kind of nice.”

“That’s good.” Shane paused. The silence between them was soft and natural, and it stretched on a bit while they drank their coffees, both leaning against the kitchen counter. Ryan tapped away on his phone, probably playing a game or something. Shane wished his phone wasn’t in the other room charging, although he probably wouldn’t be able to focus on it anyways.

“What are you doing today at work?” Shane asks.

“Editing the video,” Ryan said. He shrugged. “We got a lot of pretty good footage. Maybe we even found something this time.”

Shane shrugged, but there was a small part of him that felt hot on the inside. He thought about the cold hands from the basement, from his dream. He thought about the static noise. He didn’t want Ryan to find anything. How could he deny what’s happening to him if he caught something on film?

“Maybe we did,” he said. “But probably not.”

Even though they both had coffee, at 4:30am they piled back onto the couch and fell asleep under the blanket. Pressed warmly into each other’s space, their sleep was dreamless and quick. Shane felt as if he’d simply blinked and it was suddenly 9:15am. They got up together, brushed their teeth, and popped two bagels in the toaster oven. Shane complained about plain cream cheese, and Ryan was exasperated ‘What is salmon flavored cream cheese? That sounds disgusting!’ They took their own cars to work. It wasn’t super busy at the moment, but that was good, because they would be less distracted that way.

Ryan started editing the video together, adding the commentary screens and other miscellaneous things that made their show a little quirky. Shane poked around on their social media pages, looking at suggestions for places to go and cases to talk about. Of course, it didn’t take him long to stumble upon the various comments about how the two stars of Buzzfeed Unsolved should get together. Honestly, the comments made him feel so tired, like he was talking to his mother over and over again, and listening to her say ‘you’ll find someone eventually’ until his ears started bleeding. Their favorite thing to point out was his apparent single-ness. Well, he was single, but it was by his own choice. If you don’t go fishing, you never catch any fish. Shane didn’t want to date, so he never went out of his way to find a date. He was perfectly fine making friends at the office, eating lunch with coworkers, and chilling at his apartment alone.

Well, at least he used to like that stuff.

He was going to try and go back to his apartment today, of course. He couldn’t live with Ryan. Well, he could, but it would be kind of rude to just invite himself over for forever, wouldn’t it? He’s sure Ryan wouldn’t want to see his face 24/7 anyway.

Where Shane lacked in dating and going out, Ryan made up. He went out a lot, dated girls on and off. He wasn’t a player, no, none of that. He just wanted to have fun, a lot of his exes remained friends with him, it was no big deal. No one’s expecting him to settle down yet. Well, Shane doesn’t know his friend’s whole life. Maybe he is getting pressured by his family, and just ignoring them, like any other young adult. A few weeks ago, Ryan broke up with that girl Helen Pan. He heard it was mutual, though, so that was good. In fact, Shane’s pretty sure he’s still seen Helen around just as often, looking happy and casual.  

He was glad they were still friends. It reminded him of one of his coworkers and close friends Sara. He really enjoyed her company, and there was a point in their relationship where he could have seen himself dating her. He wasn’t sure, though, if he really wanted to date her, or if he was feeling pressured to date someone so that people would stop asking. In fact, there was a day that they’d gone out to lunch together, and he asked her if she wanted to go out for a coffee sometime. It was a sneaky way of seeing if she was interested. Although, it mustn’t have been that sneaky, because she picked up on it immediately.

“Shane,” she said, a soft smile on her face. “Are you asking me out?”

“I- I, uh, I,” he stuttered, a blush spreading across his cheeks. “M-maybe?”

She giggled. “I think you’re a great friend, Shane. Maybe let’s keep it that way?”

Shane let out a long breath. “O-oh.” He was expecting to feel crushing disappointment, but instead he felt a little lighter. “Actually, I’m okay with that.”

As he was daydreaming, staring down his computer, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned in his chair and saw that it was their cameraman David. He had a camera bag slung over his shoulder.

“Did the footage turn out okay?” he asked. Shane’s first reaction was to turn and ask Ryan, but when he looked, Ryan wasn’t at his desk.

“Oh, um, I would say ask Ryan, but he doesn’t seem to be here.” Shane said. David shrugged.

“Well, I just ask because the cameras were acting weird today while we were shooting a different video. I hope that the film from Franklin Castle isn’t messed up.” He said. “That was a lot of footage, if it’s messed up…”

“I’ll find Ryan and ask him if he ran into any problems, okay?” Shane said. David nodded and wandered off. Shane looked over at Ryan’s desk again. His laptop was open to the video editing software they use. His headphones were laying haphazardly on his desk, next to a stack of papers and an empty mug.

He figured that Ryan got called away to do something. No need for concern, of course. Although, it must’ve been important for him to stop editing to go do it. One time, Ryan had told him that he either did it all at once, or not at all. It’s a sentiment that people tend to share. Just get it over with while you’re inspired, and then it’ll be done, no more worrying. Shane thought about how hard it was to get back into the swing of something once you’ve left it for a bit.

Just then, his phone buzzed.

Ryan: Dude, you gotta come see this! I’m in the studio.

At the text, Shane’s blood ran cold. Normally, he’d be excited to go in and listen to whatever sound that Ryan thought was a voice, but this time was different. This time, he wasn’t sure what was real and what was fake. He felt himself starting to get a little overwhelmed.

It’s just a video or audio clip, Shane, nothing to worry about.

Shane: Be there in a sec.

He made his way to the studio and peeked inside. He could see Ryan in there, listening to something, adjusting things occasionally. He walked up and knocked on the studio door to get his attention. Ryan turned quickly, and smiled when he noticed Shane. He took the headphones off and let him into the room with him.

“I was looking through the videos, and I realized that some of the clips got a little messed up.” He said. Shane thought back to what David had said about the cameras. “At first, I was a little disappointed with the corrupted video and audio, but then I noticed that it was only happening in a specific part of the house.”

Ryan handed Shane a pair of headphones. When they both had headphones on, he pulled up a video file on a monitor and played it. It was a shot from a camera at the top of the stairs to the basement. The scene where Ryan accused Shane of being scared of the basement. Shane hadn’t even thought about how they were still filming, so it was weird to see the conversation played back. Everything was playing fine, until Ryan started going down the steps. A part of the screen’s pixels seemed to die, and the audio clipped in and out for a bit, before the screen just turned black completely. You could still hear the voices, but they were muted. After about two seconds of this, there was a much clearer voice over the other audio. It was a deep voice, smooth and haughty. It grumbled a little when it spoke, like a warning.

It’s cold, down here.

And then the video and audio went straight back to normal, like nothing had happened. Shane felt like someone had poured cold water down his back. The voice was so clear, so breathy and real. In fact, the video didn’t even have Ryan’s tacky subtitles, but he knew exactly what it had said.

“Well, it,” Shane started, but honestly didn’t know where he was going to go with that.

“That was definitely a voice. Something knew we were there, I would even say it knew we were recording.” Ryan said, excited, but also horrified. “It’s so clear! It said, it’s cold down here. That’s so crazy!”

“That- that’s doesn’t prove anything though,” Shane said, desperately grappling for something to disprove it. “It could be… could be anything. Maybe it’s one of the camera men.”

“Shane, are you serious?” Ryan said, exasperated. “That’s clearly a voice! It doesn’t sound like David or Steve.”

Shane took the headphones off. He felt his head pounding at the evidence. “You must have edited the clip or something. That can’t be real. Ghosts aren’t real.” He knew he sounded crazy right now, but he didn’t care. The voice in his head, the things he was seeing, the demon… it was all real?

“Seriously?” Ryan asked, taking his own headphones off as well. His voice rose. “I wouldn’t fake this. I’ve waited so long for evidence, and you’re just going to tell me I made it all up?”

“I don’t know!” Shane was practically shouting now. “I don’t know what this is! It’s can’t be real, I don’t believe it! I don’t want it to be real! I thought this show was a big joke from the beginning, I never expected it to be serious! I didn’t want it to be!”

Ryan furrowed his brow. He looked mildly offended. “Then why did you even join the team if it was never real to you? How can you not accept evidence right in front of you?”

Shane groaned in frustration. He looked down at his shoes. “I need to go, I’ll talk to you later.”

He turned to leave. As the door was closing, Ryan shouted, “Don’t bother!”

Shane went right back to his desk and packed up his things. He was tired, upset, and confused. He emailed his manager and said he was getting sick, so he went home. He got in his car, throwing his bag in the backseat. Shane sat in the driver’s seat and put his head in his hands.

He flipped open his phone and dialed the number of the last person he texted that wasn’t Ryan. It rang three times.

“Shane?” a feminine voice said on the other end. “Is everything okay? I saw you walk out of the office.”

“I may have fucked up,” he said, his voice a little shaky. “Sara, I really fucked up.”

“What happened?” Sara asked. There was a rustling through the phone, as if she had gotten up or moved. “Do you want to talk in person or-?”

“I- I don’t know,” he stuttered. He felt the headache getting worse. Keeping his eyes open hurt, so he closed them. “I have such a bad headache. I don’t think I can drive.”

“I’m coming to get you. Do you want me to take you home?” her voice was soft, but he could tell she was a little panicked. He wished he could be a little clearer, but his tongue felt swollen in his mouth.

“I- I-“ he tried, but failed to answer. His phone slipped from his hands to the floor of the car. He noticed that he hadn’t turned the car on. He couldn’t remember where he’d put his keys, anyways, so he guessed it didn’t matter. He heard Sara’s voice coming from the phone, a static sound, like an imitation of a human voice.

Why did he say those things to Ryan? Yeah, the show was supposed to be comedic, but that didn’t make it a joke. Ryan worked really hard to get the show to even happen, and Shane just stomped all over it. He wasn’t sure to think. He was pretty sure he was losing his mind. He just hoped he didn’t lose Ryan as well.

A few moments later, his driver’s side door opened, but he was still sitting with his head in his hands, and didn’t respond to the movement. He felt smaller, warm hands on his shoulders, an arm across his back. He leaned into the warmth.

“Shane, what’s wrong?” a voice said. He recognized it as Sara. He wondered if she had trouble finding his car. He always parked in the same space. He was a creature of habit just like anyone else. Why was this happening to him again?

Oh, right. Skeptic. Yeah.

“My head hurts, it must be from fucking up my sleep last night.” Shane said, although he was lying through his teeth. He knew that his headache was from hearing that audio. From seeing that video clip. He knew the headache was from the evidence, the stress, the anxiety. It was real, it was all real. The demon was real, and it really wanted to ruin Shane’s life.

“You said on the phone that you fucked up,” she said, and it was soft and gentle. He always thought her voice was nice. She was small and warm, quirky and funny. She always seemed to know what to say. “What happened? What did you fuck up?”

Shane lifted his head slightly. Though, when he did that it felt as if the world had dramatically tilted, so he put his head back down. “It’s Ryan, I really fucked up with Ryan. He probably hates me now.”

“Oh, no, no, no,” she reassured, rubbing his back in large circles. “You and Ryan, you guys fight, but friends fight. Whatever it was, he probably doesn’t hate you.”

“I called his show a joke.” He admitted. Sara made a soft noise of disapproval.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have done that, per say,” she said. “But he doesn’t hate you. How could anyone hate you? You’re great.”

Shane pulled his hands away from his face, opening his eyes to stare down at them. He heard a small, sharp voice in the back of his head. It said, mockingly, ‘yeah, you’re great.’

“Do you have any migraine medicine?” Shane asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Sara pulled away to rummage through her purse. After a moment, she sighed.

“No.” she said. “Want me to take you home?”

“What about the car?” he asked.

“You could get it later, I’ll tell the supervisor about it.” She said. She gently tugged on his shirt, and he stood, slowly. He blinked open his eyes, and it hurt, but he figured that he wouldn’t get any better sitting around in a parking lot.

Sara took him to his apartment building and made sure he got upstairs and into his place okay. She came in and helped him get something for his migraine, too. He let himself be fussed over, since he was too tired and upset to have done anything anyways. When he was situated on his couch with a pillow and a comforter, Sara put the back of her hand against his forehead. He laughed.

“What do you think, doc? How long do I have?” he joked. She giggled, withdrawing her hand.

“I’d say three months, better get to that bucket list.” She said, and they both laughed. She sat on the arm of the couch and sighed.

“Listen, Shane,” she started. “I don’t really know what happening with you and Ryan, or just you and work, but if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you.” She paused. “Also, I know I really great therapist…”

Shane gave a small huff of laughter. “Thank you, Sara. To be honest, I think I’ve just been stressing myself out lately. I think I’ve just been questioning things lately that I’ve never questioned before.”

Sara tilted her head, reaching down to play with Shane’s hair a little. “Like what?”

“Well, this sounds dumb, but,” he paused, biting his lip. “I’m kind of starting to believe in ghosts? Or maybe I’m just going crazy and I don’t know it?”

Sara laughed. “Oh yeah, you’re definitely crazy.”

“It’s just been a crazy week, I think.” Shane admitted. “It can’t possibly get any worse. I’ll be better next week.”

“Don’t jinx it.” She smiled, giving Shane’s hair one last flick, before standing up. “If I was a witch I would cast a good vibes spell for you.”

“That sounds like it’d be nice,” he said. He really did mean it. Maybe witch stuff was real, too, now.

“I should probably get back to the office now, but if you need anything,” she said. “Don’t be shy, just hit me up.”

“Thanks Sara,” Shane said. “You’re great, you know that?”

“Yeah.”

Then she collected her things, wished Shane one last goodbye, and she was gone. Shane felt comfortable in his apartment, but now that no one else was there, he could tell a sort of tension returned. He closed his eyes, hoping the pain medicine would make him drowsy, so that he could slip into easy unconsciousness. He didn’t want to think about what happened today. He didn’t want to think about how it would change his friendship with Ryan. He didn’t want to think about demons, or ghosts, or witches. He just wanted to sleep.

If only the world would let him do that.