#* texts.

[peterbasara]

Peter: But is it a sexy aura? Peter: because there's something about a good milf sometimes man Peter: Like i wouldn't say no to kris, i'd be a kept man happily and turn a blind eye to many things just to get into that will Peter: no point wasting time when you could get a sure thing easy @reggiellewellyn

Reggie: You only have to be around the woman for five minutes to know that it is Reggie: Kris Jenner aura Reggie: Right? That's what I'm saying Reggie: Dont thing its on the cards tho Reggie: Guess I should move on or whatever @peterbasara

[astramachina]

super low effort costume for last night's Halloween party! 😅 in my defense I didn't know whether or not I'd be able to actually attend until like. three days prior.

we then played the new Observation Duty because it felt appropriate. we didn't win a single round. there were nine of us.

[fionanotshrek]

imessage 📲 madelyn

fiona: hey there beautiful! hope you are doing well. i feel like it's been too long. fiona: how was christmas this year? :)

[devrim-selvi]

Devrim: Tebrikler Kardeşim (congrats bro) Devrim: Happy for you both.

@kenxmatsui

[greengideon]

Gideon: You given much thought about Thankgiving this year yet? Gideon: Want me to set a plate for you at my place? @aurorabaystarter

[mad3lyncline]

𝑻𝑬𝑿𝑻𝑺 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀 𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑷 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑻 . starters from a variety of real texts that have cursed my family group chat .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i didn't see that [ name ] is holding his junk until after i sent the pic

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] just ate some fig newtons , the extra long ones

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] fuck yeah , go give that beer your dick !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] maybe he'll let you down quicker if you give him an open mouth kiss

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you'll want to keep the gondola operator alive but everyone else is dispensable

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we have parked our lard asses under displays for souvenirs and we are both NOT MOVING .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] no more mountains you've lost your mountain privileges

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we still have our sense of humor , but [ name ] may lose theirs at any moment .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we are safe . we think . no need to worry . i don't think .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] it's funny now , but i can feel myself getting a bit cranky .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm really sick with icantgotowork disease 🦠 it's rough

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] have you guys gotten diarrhea yet ?

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i hear [ name's ] ex is writing a diss track

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] okay getting food bird pooped on me

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i just ate a cake that said 'happy birthday baby jesus'

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] the autism is strong today

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] there will be no butt cakes and please take me off this thread

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'll start growing my pubes !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] [ name ] is making us celebrate president's day with a cake

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] my favorite thing is explaining slang that mom will absolutely hate

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] their old dog looked like a cigarette

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] yeah it's really hard being really good looking all the time

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm about to be that asshole that brings their leftovers on a plane

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i have to focus on one weird thing a day or i'll die

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] congrats bunghole i'm proud of you 🥰

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] just so you know : penis .

[cyberneticnightmares]

seeing nowhere near enough willry shenanigans in 70s conversation pits like come on y'all

shit writes/draws itself

[privpari]

➝ cj + eva

cj: hey there, sorry to bother you. cj: my name is cj, i don't think you have my number and i definitely had to go through the staff directory to find yours BUT cj: were you still interested in working out together?

@anderseva

[mercyofmone]

continued from here... @chicagomxde

[ sms ] — what a way to say hello.

[ sms ] — i'm surprised that you have my number since it's been a year since we last spoke. what's that thing called when someone stops talking to you ?

[ sms ] — oh, it's called ghosting. ever heard of that ? cause that's what you did. so i'm shocked you even have my number. i expected you'd block me but i digress.

[anderseva]

texts 💬 danneva

EVA: hey, convict. so much for that date, huh? [not delivered] EVA: missing a date with me is torture, but are you okay? are you playing nice with whoever you're stuck with? [not delivered] EVA: i know you said you're only a Sylvester by name, whatever that means, but one of your sisters is here. Joni, i think? she's okay, or she was the last time i saw her. [not delivered] @dannyssylvester

[liamalexanderr]

liam: do you still like pancakes ?

@dahliayoung

[astramachina]

you ever read a fic so good for the first time in ages that you go into a fugue state.

[fionanotshrek]

imessage 📲 rudy

fiona: hey hey rudy! fiona: how's the holidays treating you?

[puckjake]

texts 💬 fuckerman

JAKE: Flores, please tell me you're good? Is the shop good? I need both of you in one piece because I'm gonna need some new ink to relax my mind after this. And in case I need to remind you, you already confessed your love for me online a few days ago so don't try to take it back now, but I love you too. How about tattoos, drinks, and...I can't say chicks since I'm back with Bree but we can find a lil mamacita for you once all of this is over, okay? [delivered] @daniflorespsu

[giselle-archive]

text message ⇆ santana & giselle

Giselle: i'm glad you liked that playlist, and i'll take that appreciation whenever you feel like giving it to me. though, that goes against our 'taking it slow' agenda so... Giselle: anyways, there's something i need to tell you, and you're not going to like it, but i need you to promise me that you won't spiral. @limalatina