#but i do hope people understand where im coming from with the answer i gave

[tennessoui]

Just to clarify, I was the one who was all "Wait, people LIKE WIPs??" and I am someone who for my mental health has to be really careful with unfinished stories. It's great for those of you who like them! It's just hard for me to understand in anything but the super abstract. :)

thanks for adding some context to that ask! it was a bit jarring to receive, as someone who continuously works on wips and has strong opinions about their importance to fandom.

i do think that not liking wips or not reading them is a worryingly fast, growing part of fandom which can spell pretty grim things for writers' longevity in fandom and even their longevity writing fic in general. we need to be encouraging and welcoming and reading fics that aren't finished; we need to get invested in fics that only have ~3k works so far; we need to recc wips to other people and cheer the writers on, or we're really not going to see a lot of people writing wips anymore.

[azulpitlane]

just pr part two I ln4

pairing: lando norris x ricciardo!reader summary: you are beginning to warm up to lando but it all comes crashing down when you overhear something you weren't suppose to, includes writing + smau notes: im back! hope you guys had a good holiday!! p.s if you sent requests i am working on them!! this one is pretty long but i tried to fit it all into one part warnings: a tiny tiny bit of smut, but barely anything part one, masterlist

"So when were you planning on tell me?" Your brother asked accusingly the moment you opened the door of your apartment. A few hours prior, you had called Lando and demanded for him to come over knowing Daniel was going to arrive soon and interrogate you and you refused to deal with this on your own. It was his idea in the first place.

"Um, lovely seeing you too Danny. Need help with your bags?"

"Don't give me the sarcasm right now y/n." You could tell he was genuinely agitated with your response and you sighed and opened the door to let him in. He quickly walked to your kitchen and saw Lando sitting there with a sheepish smile.

"Hey Daniel...how are you?" He immediately knew that was the wrong thing to say since he started stalking his way towards Lando.

"You motherf-"

"OKAY OKAY! Calm down Danny, just sit down and we'll talk." You fortunately were quick enough to stop him from getting to Lando. You gave him a stern look and though you were younger, Danny knew to listen to you when you gave him that look. He reluctantly sat in front of Lando while you sat yourself next to him.

"It's not what you think."

Daniel raised an eyebrow, a mixture of amusement and concern on his face. "Oh, really? Because the pictures and the headlines seem to tell a different story."

Lando, always quick with a comeback, attempted to diffuse the tension. "Well, mate, you know how the media exaggerates everything."

Daniel's gaze shifted between the two of you, and he let out a sigh. "You're dating, aren't you?"

You nodded, feeling the weight of the admission. "It's complicated, Danny. We didn't plan for it to happen."

He leaned back, crossing his arms. "Complicated is an understatement. You're my sister, Y/n. And you," he pointed at Lando, "you're...Lando."

"I'm going to try and not be offended by that."

"You know what I mean. I just don't understand why you didn't tell me before."

"Well we're only two months into our relationship so we wanted to figure things out privately and decide if we were ready to fully commit to each other before telling people." You reciprocated the explanation that you and Lando made up an hour prior.

"And are you fully ready to commit to each other?"

You nudged Lando's thigh since Daniel was staring directly at him, expecting an answer from him.

"Yup. 100%."

Danny responded with a skeptical look, "That doesn't sound too convincing."

You gave Lando a harsher nudge, he was doing an awful job at making this convincing.

"Look, I know I haven't been perfect, but y/n she just...brings out a side of me that nobody else does. I know I should've spoke to you before making a move and I regret not doing so, but I don't regret y/n. And I don't regret that night when we first bumped into each other outside of the paddock," realizing his mistake he quickly added, "where we first admitted our feelings."

You glanced at Lando confused at the pause in his speech, but he avoided eye contact and kept his gaze at Daniel. You weren't sure if he was referring to the night you guys hooked up or if he was just trying to make the relationship believable. You then looked at your brother noticing his expression was softening, a part of you felt guilty for lying to him about this relationship so you quickly added an apology.

"We really are sorry you had to find out through social media, I wish we told you before those pictures were released, but there's no point in dwelling in it now. This relationship wasn't intentional, it just happened and we're serious about it." You said trying to talk as softly as possible to make it believable.

"I can't say i'm thrilled about this, but I forgive you guys. I was just angry at the moment because everybody was saying all these crazy things about my baby sister, and I was mad Lando was the reason behind it. But you guys are grown adults and can make your own decisions so whatever you think is best for your happiness, I will support it."

"Oh thank God." Lando grabbed your head and kissed it, you knew he was doing it to irritate you and you wanted nothing more than to smack him hand away but you just smiled and accepted his affection.

Daniel on the other hand, openly showed his disgust and quickly added, "Okay, don't push it."

yourusername

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 290,335 others

yourusername im just a girl (with a himbo bf and overprotective brother)

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user THE HAND PLACEMENT OH LORD

user just fell on my knees

user himbo bf is so real

user OKAY SO DANNY OFFICIALLY KNOWS

user it looks like he approves aww

landonorris himbo?

yourusername the jokes write themselves landonorris i dont get it? what is a himbo? user he fr is a himbo im crying user yourusername baby are you sure about this one?

user everybody say thank you y/n because we're gonna get so much lando and daniel content now

yourbff oh! hahaha...

user what does she know🤨 user shes seen the photos of him with other girls i fear...

danielricciardo landonorris hand placement is a bit inappropriate no?

landonorris sorry mate... user she wasn't lying with the overprotective part😭 user daniel is in cockblocker mode

As soon as Danny left, you both quickly left each others embrace and went back to your usual snarky banter. He was quick to leave your apartment but before he could, you stopped him wanting to clear some things up.

"Okay so for this to work, we need a set of rules," Lando rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something, "uh, no interruptions please, you can speak when I'm done." You could see him roll his eyes again, but kept his mouth shut nonetheless.

"Rule number one, no kissing in the lips, even in front of the cameras."

"That is so stupid, we alre-"

"What did I say? No speaking until I am done!"

"Bossy. I like this side of you." He smirked at you suggestively and you ignored that comment all together, not wanting to give the satisfaction of a reaction from you.

"Rule number two, no posting each other without permission. We must both approve of the post." He lazily nodded, not really caring about these rules.

"Rule number three, we cannot tell anybody, besides your team of course, that this is fake. I mean nobody, not even your close friends, we can't risk Danny finding out."

"Anything else, princess?"

"Chill with the affection, you were practically hogging me when we were with Daniel."

"You weren't complaining last week when you were under me."

You blushed and quickly used your hair to cover it. You guys hadn't talked about that night and you were trying your best to avoid the topic. It was a drunk mistake, that's it. It's not like either of you would do it again. Even if it was the best sex of your life, you would never admit that out loud.

"Shut up, that was a drunk, stupid mistake," His smirk fell and was replaced with an emotionless look, "rule number four, no talking about that night, got it?"

"Yeah, whatever, can I go now?"

f1gossip

20,492 likes

f1gossip Lando and Y/n in Paris today! The two just landed and are there with a few of Lando's friends. They confirmed their relationship a few weeks ago on instagram posts and sources say they've been together for a few months prior to the posts. Thoughts on the new couple?

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user its funny to think that he might be daniel's brother in law in the future lmfao

user idk about them... lando was just seen with other girls before their posts

user probably just friends chill user yeah fr, lando always says those other girls are just his friends

user honestly im happy he's finally settling for a nice girl, no more drama

user it couple

user omg they both love photography...imagine all the pictures they take of one another

user omg. i need to see y/n's camera roll🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️

user the all black fit >>>>>

user the girlfriend effect is starting already

user IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM (IM OBSESSED WITH THEM)

As you and Lando began the charade of a fake relationship, you couldn't shake off the feeling that this was going to be more complicated than you initially thought. The staged photos, the forced smiles, and the scripted interactions started to wear on you. But for the sake of your relationship with your brother, you pushed through. This is the first time you and Lando left Monaco together and he had dragged you to Paris for a few events he had. You were there with his friends so you had to keep up with your act practically all the time until you went to sleep.

"Wait, we're sharing a room?"

Lando raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, it's more convincing that way. We're a couple, remember?"

You sighed, realizing the extent of the relationship. "Fine, but no funny business. We stick to the rules."

He smirked, "You're no fun, princess."

You shot him a warning look, "I'm serious, Lando. This is for my brother's sake, not for our amusement."

He chuckled, "Alright, alright. No funny business. I promise."

You begrudgingly entered the room and noticed there was only one bed. You turned to him with a blank look on your face and he gave you an innocent smile, knowing you were pissed.

"Really, Lando? One bed?"

He shrugged, feigning innocence. "Oops, must be a mistake. But it's not like we haven't shared a bed before, right?"

You shot him a glare. "Rule number four."

"What?"

"Rule number four: no talking of the night that got us into this mess in the first place."

"Jesus, you weren't being serious about those rules?"

"Dead serious." You moved around him and got your pajamas from your suitcase to change in the bathroom.

"If I knew you were going to be this boring I would've fake dated someone else." He mumbled in response.

"I heard that!" You yelled from the bathroom.

"Yeah well you were meant to!" He sassily replied.

You came out of the bathroom bare faced and wearing a skimpy set consisting of a tight tank top and tiny shorts. If you knew you would be sharing a room with Lando you would've never packed this, but it was the only thing you had on you right now. You noticed Lando looking at you and you were expecting some sort of remark on your outfit but it never came. He just watched you with a look you could not name, you couldn't help but feel a little self conscious under his hard gaze. You opened your mouth to question him but you were interrupted by three knocks on the door. You quickly went to open it, wanting to get away from the sudden tension in the room.

"Hello! Room service here, may I step in?"

"Oh sure." You didn't even realize Lando had ordered anything while you were in the bathroom.

The man walked in and at that moment he seemed to notice your outfit for the first time and subtly looked you up and down. You felt uncomfortable but before anything else could be said Lando stepped in front of you and tipped the guy. He blushed knowing he was caught and quickly made his way out.

"Uhh what did you order?" You asked wanting to fill the weird silence in the room.

"Hot chocolate, it's uh for you." You gave him a questioning gaze and you didn't know if you were hallucinating but it looked like he was blushing. "Daniel mentioned something about you guys always sneaking out of bed to drink a cup of chocolate before sleeping when you were younger and you had an insane amount of chocolate when I went over to your apartment so I'm guessing you still do it."

You couldn't help but smile at the memory he mentioned. It was a tradition you and Daniel had when you were kids, sneaking out of bed to share a cup of hot chocolate before sleeping. It was a comforting routine that continued into your teenage years. The fact that Lando remembered and went through the trouble of ordering it made you soften towards him, at least for a moment.

"Wow, you actually remembered that?" You chuckled, feeling a bit nostalgic.

Lando scratched the back of his head, a bit embarrassed. "Yeah, well, I thought it might help make this whole pr thing a bit more bearable. Plus, I know you love it."

You sighed, realizing that maybe there was more to Lando than just the cocky and flirtatious exterior he presented. "Thanks, Lando. That was...unexpectedly sweet."

He shrugged, trying to downplay it. "Well, don't get used to it. It's a one-time thing. Im gonna uh get in the shower now."

You nodded and he left you alone with your thoughts, you couldn't shake off the mixed emotions swirling within you. This fake relationship was becoming more complicated by the day, but there were moments, like this one, that blurred the lines between acting and reality. You couldn't deny that there was a connection between you and Lando, even if it was born out of necessity. You sat on the bed and picked up a book to stop your overthinking, it was just a cup of chocolate. No big deal.

Lando came out of the shower and was faced with an empty cup and you knocked out on the bed. He picked up your book and marked the page you left off on before placing it on the bedside table. He grabbed a pillow and blanket and got comfortable on the small couch in the room before he drifted off into sleep.

The next morning you woke up before Lando and quickly noticed he was not sleeping in the bed next to you. You felt bad seeing him cramped in the small couch across from the bed and you mentally kicked yourself for falling asleep before you could volunteer to take the couch, he was the one that paid after all. You got up and silently approached him, he looked so peaceful and you thought about how chivalrous his gesture was. You knew there was more to him than his arrogant persona, but you were surprised he was letting you see a part of the real him after all this time.

"I know I'm attractive but watching me sleep is a little creepy don't you think?" He said suddenly while keeping his eyes closed.

There was that arrogance.

"Oh you're awake? There goes my opportunity to strangle you in your sleep."

"Kinky girl."

"Just shut up and get up, we have a lot to do."

landonorris posted a story

You were shocked when none of Lando's friends joined you two today seeing as you were exploring the city. Once he had told you they wanted to do their own thing, you expected for him to go back to his cocky self since there was nobody around, but he constantly kept a hold on your hand, gave you his jacket when you got cold, and even helped with your photography.

You had brought your camera in hopes to capture some good pictures of the city of love and he helped by giving you some ideas. You were confused by his kind behavior since you guys kept a low profile and weren't recognized by anybody as you walked around. You didn't mind this side of Lando though and appreciated this personality before he became a cocky jerk again.

"Did your team tip off any paparazzi anywhere that I should be aware of?" You asked thinking maybe there was someone watching.

"Uh no actually. I asked for a calm day before we go to the event later tonight. That's where all the photographers will be."

"Huh, so you're telling me you organized this whole day yourself?" You asked slowly not understanding why his team would set up a day in Paris with just you two without exposure to it.

Lando grinned mischievously, "Well, I thought we could use a break from the chaos. Plus, Paris is a beautiful city, and it seemed like a waste not to explore it properly."

You raised an eyebrow, still skeptical of his sudden change in behavior. "And you're not going to pull some elaborate prank or reveal that this was all a setup?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "No pranks, no setups. Just a day to enjoy the city and each other's company. Is that so hard to believe?"

Considering Lando's usual antics, it was indeed hard to believe. However, you decided to go along with it, enjoying the unexpected break from the scripted events and staged moments.

As you continued exploring the streets of Paris, Lando pointed out interesting landmarks, shared anecdotes about his previous visits, and even suggested some hidden gems for your photography. The day unfolded in a surprisingly genuine and enjoyable manner.

At a quaint café, Lando insisted on treating you to a cup of coffee, saying, "Consider it a thank you for putting up with my chaotic world for the past few days."

You couldn't help but smile, finding this side of Lando surprisingly endearing. "You're not so bad when you're not trying to be a pain, you know?"

He winked, "I'll take that as a compliment."

The two of you strolled along the Seine River, taking in the iconic sights of Paris. The Eiffel Tower loomed in the distance, and you couldn't resist capturing the moment with your camera.

As you snapped a few pictures, Lando leaned in and whispered, "You know, you're not so bad either, princess."

You rolled your eyes, but there was a warmth in your chest that you couldn't deny. Maybe, just maybe, there was more to this fake relationship than meets the eye.

The day passed in a blur of laughter, shared moments, and a surprising connection that seemed to grow stronger with each passing hour. It was a side of Lando you hadn't expected, and you found yourself enjoying his company without the pressure of the public eye.

yourusername

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 342,293 others

yourusername j'adore paris

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user mother posted!!!

yourbff you look absolutely incredible..and he's there

yourusername 😭😭 be nice! landonorris im starting to think you dont like me... user LMFAO OMG

user y/n.jpg WHEN????

user lando taking her to the city of love...yeah they're not breaking up anytime soon

landonorris my pretty girl

user 🫠🫠 user oh to be lando's pretty girl, y/n won at life

user remind me how lando pulled her??? shes so gorgeous

user he beat the norizz allegations

danielricciardo there should be a jumpscare warning for the last slide!

user HAHAHAHA landonorris why am i always being attacked in y/ns comments

As Lando mentioned, you were going to make appearance at the PSG game which you actually were excited for since you were a big football fanatic. You both changed and met up with his friends in the lobby before heading out again. The game was going great and you had even met some of the guys' girlfriends and befriended them rather quickly. After being surrounded by men the whole trip, you were glad to have some women around you to socialize with. You then all made plans as a group to go to an after-party to celebrate the teams win.

The party was huge, there were even some PSG players there and you were suddenly glad you chose a nice outfit to go to the game with, not wanting to feel underdressed.

As the night wore on, Lando pulled you aside again, away from the bustling crowd. "Having fun, princess?"

You nodded, a smile playing on your lips. "Yeah, surprisingly. Your friends are great dancers, by the way."

He grinned, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Well, we're a talented bunch. But you're the best dancer here."

You laughed, not expecting the compliment. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Lando."

He leaned in, his lips dangerously close to your ear. "I don't know about that. Flattery seems to be working quite well tonight."

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the blush that threatened to surface. "Smooth talker."

"Only to you." He replied and he stepped closer to tug a piece of hair behind your ear. You became aware of his proximity and couldn't help to feel your heart start racing. You instinctively put your hands on his shoulder as he looked down on your lips. You felt yourself leaning in before something caught your eye over his shoulder, a camera. Someone was filming, that's why he was acting like this. You don't know why the idea made you a little sad, so you snapped out of it and turned your head so his lips landed on your cheek. His eyes were filled with confusion, weren't you just leaning in too? Did you not feel the spark that ignited between you two today?

“No kissing. Even on camera, remember?” You said sadly then rejoined the girls as he stood there confused.

You spent the rest of the night separately until the girls decided they were tired. You volunteered to go look for the boys and as soon as you stepped outside through the backdoor you heard Lando’s voice.

“I mean we just started and I’m already regretting it. Its just so hard to be around her, she has all these rules that im technically breaking by telling you,”

Your heart dropped realizing he was talking about you. You stopped listening, not wanting to hear the rest because you knew it would only hurt. You realized how much you were beginning to like Lando thinking you could get through the constant facade he has, but after hearing his words you were starting to think it wasn’t a facade. He was just mean. You began to wonder if all the other snarky and rude remarks he made weren’t sarcasm, but the real way he felt about you.

You went back inside, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping, and saw the rest of the girls had reunited with their boyfriends so you assured them they could leave and you were just waiting for Lando. With teary eyes you made your way to the small bar and ordered a water.

As you sat at the bar, nursing your water, you couldn't shake off the mix of emotions swirling within you. The revelations from Lando's words had left you feeling hurt and confused. You had let your guard down, allowed yourself to enjoy the night, and now it seemed like it was all a part of some elaborate act.

“Not having a good time?”

You looked up and were slightly starstruck to see Kylian Mbappe sitting next to you.

“Um no not anymore, unless youre the host of this party! Then im having a blast.”

He laughed at your comment and you blushed in embarrassment.

"Don't worry, it's not my party. Why are you alone?"

"I'm just waiting for my friends, they're outside."

"Hm, so why aren't you outside with them...?"

"Y/n." You replied knowing he was subtly asking. "But I just uh needed some water," you said quickly trying to think of an excuse.

"Y/n's a beautiful name, I'm Kylian."

"Oh I know." He raised his eyebrows at your response but before he could say anything else Lando had appeared out of nowhere. He gave you a tight lipped smile and put his arm around your waist after seeing who you were talking to.

"Kylian! It's good to see you mate, sorry to interrupt but we were just heading out." He said as he used his other hand to shake Kylian's.

Kylian reciprocated the handshake with a friendly smile, though his eyes flickered with curiosity at the sudden appearance of Lando.

"No problem at all," Kylian replied, glancing between you and Lando. "Nice meeting you, Y/n. Enjoy the rest of the night."

You nodded, a bit flustered by the unexpected attention from both men. "You too, Kylian. Maybe catch you at another party."

As Kylian excused himself, you turned your attention to Lando, who still had his arm around your waist. His grip felt possessive, and you couldn't help but shoot him a questioning look.

"What was that about?" you asked, a hint of irritation in your voice.

Lando's gaze flickered between you and the direction Kylian had walked off. "Just making sure everything's alright. I noticed you talking to him."

"It's not like I was in distress. We were just having a casual conversation." You replied before being dragged away by Lando and seeing his friend, Romeo, trail behind you too. Ahh so that's who he was talking to.

Lando raised an eyebrow, his tone slightly defensive. "Casual conversation, huh? Seemed more than that."

The ride home was quiet, none of you knowing what to say after your almost kiss and hearing him talk about you. You thought about the situation the whole ride to the hotel and were getting angrier by the second, he was the one that suggested this idea and now he was regretting it? And worst of all, why was he talking to others about this and not you?

"As soon as you got to your room your thoughts were interrupted by Lando's voice, "What if someone had taken pictures? Do you know how bad that would look on your part? Flirting with other men while in a relationship with me."

You rolled your eyes and defended yourself, "I was not flirting with him."

"That's not what it looked like to me." He said with a hard tone.

"Why do you care? We're not really dating."

"Oh I know, you remind me any time you can, but we're doing this for the sake of your reputation too."

"As if you cared about me and maybe I remind you all the time because in reality I would never date an asshole like you." You answered bitterly as you moved around the room trying to get yourself ready for bed.

Lando followed your movements and gave you a hurt yet irritated look, "An asshole, huh? That's what you think of me?"

"Yeah."

"You know, you're no prize either! You only think of yourself that you fail to see the obvious." Responded with clear frustration in his voice.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

Lando's frustration boiled over as he paced around the room. "It means you're so caught up in your own world that you don't see beyond your own nose. You're oblivious to what's happening around you. I'm trying here, more than you can understand."

You scoffed, not buying into his sudden change in tone. "Oh please, spare me the act. You're the one regretting this whole thing, talking about it with your friends, and then acting possessive when I talk to someone else? What game are you playing, Lando?"

He looked at you in confusion, "When did I say I regretted..." Realization hit him as he remembered the events from earlier that day, "you heard me talking to Romeo. No, no you don't understand, it's just... more complicated than I thought."

You crossed your arms, not willing to let him off the hook that easily. "Complicated? Enlighten me."

Lando hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I didn't expect... I didn't expect to care, alright? But spending time with you, even in this ridiculous situation, it's messing with my head. And it's not just about the reputation, it's... something else."

You raised an eyebrow, "Something else? Care to elaborate?" You asked with attitude.

He groaned, having enough with your sassy tone, and before you knew it, your back was getting pushed into the wall as Lando trapped you with his arms on the side of your head. You got flashbacks of the party as you looked up at his face that was only centimeters away from yours.

"You're so frustrating y/n. I told Romeo I regretted this because it's so hard to be around you when all I think about is the night I fucked you." You sucked a breath in, shocked by his bold statement. He brought one of his hand down to your jaw and traced his thumb on your bottom lip. "I have to hold myself back when I'm around you, you have completely fucked with my head, it's so infuriating."

"Then...then why did you agree to this whole fake dating thing?" You asked, almost whispering.

He chuckled and replied, "I didn't have to agree to it. It was my idea." Your eyes filled with confusion, remembering he had told you it was his team's idea, "I suggested it so I could get another chance to get a taste of you. Tell me you don't want this. Tell me you haven't thought of that night we had sex." He asked with a gaze full of lust and frustration.

You could feel your walls crumbling down at his seductive tone and close proximity. You shook your head and weakly responded, "I can't."

He smirked at you before taking one of your hands in his own and moving it to his hardened cock.

"This enough elaboration for you?" He asked with a cocky tone. You could feel yourself getting wet and had enough of his teasing. You moved your hands to his face and brought it to your own. The kiss was messy and full of built up frustration and anger, a perfect combination to your relationship.

As the passionate kiss continued, you found yourself getting lost in the moment, forgetting the complications and frustrations that had filled the air just moments ago. Lando's lips moved against yours with a mixture of intensity and tenderness, creating a whirlwind of emotions within you.

Eventually, he pulled away, his eyes searching yours for a reaction. Your breath was heavy, and the room felt charged with tension. Lando's fingers traced the outline of your jaw, and he spoke in a low, husky voice, "I can't keep pretending, y/n. This is more than just a pr stunt for me."

Conflicting emotions swirled within you. On one hand, you couldn't deny the undeniable chemistry and connection you shared with Lando. On the other hand, the complications and rules that had governed your fake relationship loomed in the background.

"I don't even know what this is anymore," you admitted, your voice shaky.

Lando leaned in, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "Maybe it's time we stop pretending and figure it out together. No more rules, no more faking."

As you looked into his eyes, you saw a vulnerability that you hadn't expected. It was as if the arrogant facade he had meticulously maintained was crumbling, revealing the real Lando beneath.

"Can we even do that?" you wondered aloud.

Lando smiled, a genuine and sincere expression that took you by surprise. "I want to try, y/n."

You sighed, feeling a mixture of uncertainty and excitement. "What about the paparazzi, the public, and your career?"

"I don't care about any of that if it means I can be with you," he confessed, his gaze unwavering.

With a tentative smile, you nodded, realizing that maybe that maybe you can trust Lando after all.

As the night continued, you had deja vu to the night that got you and Lando in this position in the first place, except this time he was gentler and made you feel special.

more notes: im not comfortable enough to write smut, sorry🧍‍♀️and as per usual, this is not proofread lol

tags: @gulphulp, @cassiopeiia24

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[barbiiecams]

mine

rafe cameron x reader, fighting. this is short but i been thinking ab this a lot..

“rafe im letting you know right now i will fuck her up if she tries me.”

“yeah okay.” he chuckles, not believing you in the slightest. “she won’t try anything baby, leave it alone.”

he took another sip of his drink while you gave him the dirtiest stare. all night his ex, sofia, was staring you down, whispering about you, and giving you dirty looks. she didn’t like you because you came straight after her, and that was fine because you didn’t like her either.

“all night she’s been starting shit. i let her bumping into me slide, but now she’s over there clearly making jokes with her ugly ass friends. does she hate herself or something?” you sat up in your lawn chair.

one thing about it, you were never afraid to get down with someone especially if it was about your man. you definitely weren’t as crazy as rafe himself, but just maybe if you were pushed hard enough.

and this bitch who was now walking up to the two of you new exactly which buttons to push.

“great, now she’s walking towards us.” now you were really sat up, ready to smack some common sense into her if she tried it.

“you summoned it.” rafe jokes as you hit his chest, half jokingly and half not.

as she started getting close enough to the point where you could hear her feet in the sand, rafe pretended to be on his phone.

“hi y/n, hi rafe!” she says in a very unrealistic friendly voice. rafe doesn’t answer, and you just look at her with a look that says ‘why are you here.’

to your dismay, topper suddenly comes up next to rafe. “yo bro, they’re making it snow inside you gotta get some.”

and rafe being the addict he was, plus not wanting be around his ex, he got up as quickly as he could. “be right back.”

you truly should’ve went with him, but you didn’t. you wanted to get up and slap him for leaving you there with her in the first place.

he walks away, and sofia takes this as an opportunity to sit down in rafe’s chair. you weren’t having this tho.

“can i help you?” you ask.

“we can’t just talk? we have all this unnecessary beef.” she says.

“i wonder why.” you mumble as you stir the drink with your hand. the drink that was starting to become indented like a stress ball the way you were squeezing it. you hoped that Jesus was on your side and hers. at any moment you could easily crash out and she would have to deal with it.

“y/n, i don’t hate you.” she says with a smirk on her face that said otherwise.

“well we’re nowhere near acquaintances so you might as well.” you told her. yea, you were on that tonight.

“what’s all the hostility for?” she giggles, “sounds like you know where he’s bound to come back to.

now you know she did not just…

“excuse me?” subtly and slowly, you started tying your hair up.

“i mean come on, rafe with someone like you? it’s not meant to be.” she chuckles.

“and what do you mean someone like me?” suddenly the jewelry on your ears, hands, and neck started coming off too.

“do i seriously have to explain it? im not trying to embarrass you.” she laughs some more while looking you up and down.

now you were standing up, fully out of the chair, thinking about each and every way you’d do some damage to her face.

she got up from her chair as well, trying to match your energy but she still didn’t get what was about to happen.

for some reason, she’s just not getting the hint that you were genuinely about to rock her world in the worst way.

“there’s a reason why YOU’RE his ex. i hope you understand that.” you said. you were trying to actually speak before you did something she wouldn’t like.

“and that’s cool. but soon the roles are gonna be rever-”

she couldn’t even get the whole sentence out of her mouth until you slapped her clean across the cheek.

a few people saw this and immediately went “damn!”.

and when she sat there, just holding her cheek and looking at you as if she couldn’t believe you would actually hit somebody, they started going “nah i wouldn’t take that.”

she regains her composure. “you thought that was cute?” she says before attacking you right back, and now you were in a serious catfight with rafe’s ex.

a crowd forms around the two of you in a circle, people recording and being extremely loud.

you were getting hits in, but so was she, so now you had really no other choice but to maneuver your hands to her hair and drag her.

sofia was on the ground, pinching and gripping your arm that was holding her head while you threw blows to her face repeatedly.

“LET ME GO!” she screamed.

“TOLD YO ASS TO STOP FUCKING WITH ME.” you said while you got your punches to emphasize your words.

many people must not have liked sofia, because aside from your few friends at the party cheering you on, other randoms were even for you.

“DO HER SHIT IN, Y/N!”

“YEA Y/N FUCK HER UP.”

“THATS WHAT TF SHE GETS.”

blood started dripping from her nose, getting all of her face so you definitely weren’t stopping — until you were forced to.

the crowd was getting bigger and bigger, voices were getting louder and louder, but someone must’ve had to run inside and notify rafe that you were in a fight. that man wasn’t stopping a coke rush just to see a fight, let alone some random person.

but hearing that it was you fighting? oh he was on go.

a big pair of arms wrapped around your waist, forcing you to be pulled away while you could see toppers hands forcing the grip you had on her hair off.

you weren’t gonna stop that easy. you fought against their restraints and tried hitting her as much as you could, but in reality the two of them were way stronger than you.

“that’s ENOUGH.” rafe yells.

“yea listen to your man!” sofia says while scrambling to get up.

“at least you finally got the hint he’s mine!” you responded real quick.

rafe’s hold on you was real tight. your arms and legs might’ve been free, but you couldn’t go anywhere even if you tried.

once sofia was up, she was quick to try and charge at you again. “you bum bitch.”

you used your free leg to kick her to the ground, sending her to her ass once again. “WHOS THE BUM HOE?”

everyone gassed up at that as well. you’re not the type to fight like this. you really didn’t even know you had all this in you. but tonight, she pushed the right buttons and sent you over the edge.

rafe wasn’t amused at this at all. “would you stop?!” he yells again, now picking your legs up which forced you into a bridal position.

“RAFE PUT ME DOWN!” you yelled at him.

“you can be put down once you’re calm.” he says while walking away with you in his hands. he had to push through the huge crowd with a bunch of ‘move out my damn way’’s.

topper wasn’t too far behind the two of you, chuckling to himself about the fight he just had to help breakup.

the whole time rafe was muttering to both you and himself. “i leave you alone for 5 fucking minutes.”

rafe brought you inside away from the party and up into his bedroom. once you two were there, he threw you down onto his bed with an annoyed look plastered on his face.

you just sat there in silence looking at him as he then wiped a hand over his face. right after, he spoke up. “what’s wrong with you?”

you make of face of serious offense. “what’s wrong with me? what’s wrong with that bucked tooth ex of yours?”

he let the tiniest smirk crack at your joke but he put it away quickly.

“what did she even say? did she hit you first?” he asked.

“she kept talking shit. so i slapped her.”

“what did she say is what i wanna know.” he huffs.

you sigh. “she kept saying how i’m not pretty enough to be with you, how you’re gonna go back to her soon. it was pissing me off.”

he snorts, “do you genuinely believe that?”

“obviously not-”

“then you had no business to be hitting on her.” he says in his firm dad tone that you absolutely hate.

“um yes i did. and don’t even try to have a talk with me about this you’ve literally done worse-”

once again he cuts you off. “this isn’t about me.”

you roll your eyes. of course he’ll never admit he’s a hypocrite.

“whatever. why are you defending her? maybe she wasn’t wrong after all.” you shrug. you knew this was a stretch, but it was pissing you off how he’s basically saying that you’re in the wrong.

you watch the furrow in his eyebrows form. “what are you talking about? i’m not defending her, but you can’t just be going around almost sending girls in a coma.” he tries to reason.

the only thing you can do is sit there with still an annoyed, and upset expression on your face, adding a pout on that couldn’t help but stick.

he sighs while sitting down on the bed himself and bringing you into his lap.

“i know she makes you mad baby, i get it. and you’re right, i’ve done and probably would’ve done worse if it was me. but i know you, y/n. you don’t fight like that. i don’t want you to get in trouble.” he tried comforting you while stroking your thigh.

“she needed the common sense knocked into her anyways.” you said while snuggling into him.

he chuckles, “that i can agree with. but next time she really does make you feel like you need to attack her, just tell me. if there’s one person that will humble her good enough it’s me.”

this makes you crack a smile, but then both of your phones went off with messages.

opening yours, many people are already sending your fight video to your phone.

your friend then texts you after sending the video to a group chat you’re in with her, and a few other friends.

‘girl you knocked the mario coins out her head she went home crying 😭’

your other friends start responding and laughing at the whole thing in the group chat, and both you and rafe are sitting there, laughing as well.

“shit baby, who knew you had that in you? my girls got some heavy hands on her.” he kisses your cheek while taking out his own phone to text his friends.

“i don’t even crash out like that. but clearly it’s different when it comes to you.” you chuckle while getting up and dragging him with you to go party again.

nobody dares to try this with rafe tho. everyone knows he doesn’t play about his girl.

[firstdivisiongirl]

Mitsuya x Fem Reader: Trust in Some

@yv1-chxn asked: CAN YOU MAKE A MITSUYA X FEM READER THAT HAS ISSUES? LIKE, ANGER ISSUES, TRUST ISSUES OR JEALOUSY ISSUES AND THERE'S MITSUYA WHO IS REALLY UNDERSTANDING PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU. Hi! Thank you so much for the requests. You are actually my first requests on here. Mitsuya is one of my favorites so I’m happy to do it. I decided to do trust issues. Hope you enjoy!!!

You had a hard time trusting people.  It all started when you were a kid and your dad went to work and never came home.  And it only got worse when your last boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend.  When you and Mitsuya started dating, you thought you’d get over all of these trust issues.  Mitsuya was an amazing guy.  He made you feel like the only girl in the world.  Yet here you were, sneaking around with Hakkai.  “I told you he’s not cheating on you,” he said exhausted, “he doesn’t have a secret girlfriend.  Now let’s go.”

“No,” you exclaimed and whispered, “I don’t believe you!”

“Trust me.  All he talks about is you all the time.  I could write your biography.”

You took your attention away from your conversation, just to see exactly what you hoped not to see.  A girl walked up to him.  She had a short blush pink haircut with bangs.  She was really cute, of course he’d cheat on me with her you thought.

You ran out from your hiding spot, snout and tears running down your face.  “Mitsuya,” you cried, “I should have known you’d cheat on me.”

“Sweetheart.  This is Hina” he said, gesturing to the girl next to him who gave a friendly smile.

Your head was spinning.  You felt so dumb.  He loved her and you’d never be good enough for him.  Just like how you weren’t good enough for your dad or ex boyfriend.  The tears came out harder.  You ran away, afraid that Mitsuya would break up with you.

After running for a while, you ended up in the park.  You sat down on the plush grass.  You looked out at all the happy people, wishing you were them right now.  

“You okay?” he asked, sitting down next to you.

“No,” you answered, too ashamed to look at him.

“Hina is just a friend.  I don’t even find her attractive.  The only reason she came with me was because I needed help with something.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“I’ve been so indecisive about an anniversary gift for you.  I needed her help, so she said she’d help.  Come on, let’s go to my place.  You can play with Luna and Mana, while I finish it.  Then I’ll show you.”

You went home with him feeling a little better.  You played with Luna and Mana while Mitsuya was busy working on your gift in his room.  After about an hour, he came out, holding something.

“Happy Anniversary Y/N!  I know I'm technically a few days early, but I felt bad for making you think I didn’t love you.  So, here it is,” he said, handing you a denim jacket with lots of different patches, “I knew you loved this jacket and I felt bad it was falling apart, so I fixed and customized it so you never have to get rid of it.”

You looked at your jacket, it had all these patches in lavender and gray patterns where the holes used to be.  But you noticed the left pocket had embroidery on it.  It was a gray outlined heart with his initials and yours inside it in lavender thread.  “You embroidered it with our initials?” you asked, staring at it.

“Yeah, that’s why I asked Hina to come with me.  I didn’t know what color to use.  I asked Luna and Mana, but they both said hot pink, but you don’t like pink.  Hina suggested I use both, hence the gray heart and lavender writing.”

You kissed him passionately as a thank you for the gift.  After a few seconds you broke apart, resting your foreheads against each other’s.  “Thank you,” you said with tears welling in your eyes, “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.  I’m sorry I’m like this.”

“Don’t apologize.  I understand.  I’d never ask you to change because I love you for you.” He kissed you passionately again.  It might still be hard for you to fully trust people, but this moment showed you that maybe some people you could fully trust.  And Mitsuya was definitely one of them.

Please do not copy, modify, translate or repost my writing on other platforms. Comments, reblogs and likes are highly appreciated!

[tfyoulookingatgiuxs]

Gameboy

Billy Hargrove x NonBinary!Reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: You didn't think the day could get any worse than this, but apparently you were wrong. tired from work, you came home and had to endure the shouting of your boyfriend and his little sister Maxine. Billy was going too far and you had enough.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: +18 MDNI!! angst, blurb, very bad language, argue, broke-up, sigarettes, threats, intimidation, use of Y/N, no prounons NonBinary!Reader, theme about sex, theme about violence, anger issue, daddy issue, toxic relationship, bad ending. (Please be careful what you are about to read, the themes here are quite heavy and with a bad ending. If you don't feel like it, don't read, thanks)

𝐀/𝐍: My first Billy Hargrove One-Shot. I have to say that he's a character i dont have much interest to be honest, but if you want me to do more one-shots about Billy let me know! Please support new writers and reblog! Im sorry for my english, this is not my native language. Hope you enjoy! (DIVIDER NOT MINE)

Fuck, fuck and fuck! You thought in your head when you wanted to scream. You had just left the bar where you worked and you could tell you had had a rough day. Your boss didn't stop tormenting you, by now you seriously thought he was mad at you. But that doesn't mean you stopped trying, moving forward and taking criticism and then improving yourself, but despite this the people around you seem bad every day.

You didn't have to think about it. Absolutely not! Now you would have gone to your boyfriend's house and he will surely console you, tell you that everything will be fine–wait...no. Absolutely not. You haven't done these things for almost two months because of your full-time job and the constant evenings where Billy went out, obviously not caring that you needed him. You tried to talk to him a couple of times to find out if something was wrong but he only answered "I'm fine, we're fine, why are you asking me?" You seriously started to think if you were the crazy one or if tiredness was playing a bad joke on you. Billy seemed calm and sees nothing wrong with your relationship. You didn't say anything. You knew the issues Billy was going through with his father lately, so you let it go and once again agreed with him, and blamed it on the stress.

You got to his door before you even knocked and Billy opened it angrily, which scared you. As soon as he noticed you he took a breath and gave you a simple "Hi" before letting you inside. It often happened that you went to sleep at your boyfriend's house, especially when his father wasn't there. As soon as you entered you felt a certain tension in the air and saw Billy take his jacket from the coat rack. You were about to ask something but the boy with golden curls beat you to it "Leave Max alone, that little bitch won't come out of her fucking room until I say so" With that I left the house slamming the door.

Right from him. He doesn't even tell you where he's going or with whom.

Apparently he had argued with Maxine, his younger sister. You completely ignored what Billy said to you and went to Max's door. You could clearly hear that she was crying and that hurts you. Since you met Max she has always seen you as a second parent: kind, helpful, affectionate and above all loving. You were happy to have this relationship with her and when she happened to argue with her brother, you couldn't help but go and console her or try to resolve the situation. Before knocking you looked around, the house was a real mess, or rather a disaster, all of Billy's things scattered everywhere, starting with: weights, ashtrays, porn magazines and gameboys. Shit...

You still don't understand how you managed to fall in love with an imbecile like him. So handsome with those curls and shining face but also so arrogant, messy and not very polite. You gently knocked on the door “Max, it's me Y/N, can I come in?” You heard the little girl sniff and she agreed. You opened the door and found Maxine in tears and her face completely red from the outburst. Her pillow was wet while her cleres were a shade of red from crying. She was lying on the bed and as soon as she saw you, her breath seemed to come back. You sat next to her while you used your fingers to fix some strands of her red hair.

"Maxine...what happened?" You said almost whispering. It took her a while to answer you but in the end she did "Dad...a little while ago he was here and he was arguing with Billy," she began "I didn't know what they were arguing about but then he started hitting him.. ." Her tone was shaky as she tried to collect herself "Did Dad hit Billy?" You asked and she nodded “Yes, the asshole” okay, you got the point. “I stopped him but after mom and the asshole left, Billy started yelling at me” you raised an eyebrow “Why on earth?” The question of when might be obvious seemed difficult for Max to answer. “I don't know for sure, he just told me that I shouldn't meddle in his business” you hugged her and she immediately hugged you back.

“I'll talk to him, I promise” You said and Max looked up immediately. "No Y/N, don't do it. He's too angry and I don't want him to be angry at you too" you smiled at his sweet thought towards you. Max was now like a little sister or a daughter to protect for you, you wouldn't have let Maxine spend the evening locked in her room even though she hadn't done anything "Don't worry about me, I can handle your brother" Oh well, knowing how to handle Billy Hargrove was a big word, but that didn't stop you from consoling Max and preparing her some snacks to stop her crying.

You laughed and joked and Max had finally regained her smile and as if you were a good parent you put a blanket over her while you turned off the light, leaving Max to sleep peacefully. After at least fifteen minutes, Billy came home with a bottle of beer in his hand, you snorted at the sight. You had been waiting for him all evening and you would have at least hoped that for once he wouldn't come back drunk although he seemed quite sober.

"Where have you been?" You asked as you crossed your arms over your chest. He looked at you with a face that got on your nerves, he was bored.

"I asked you, where have you been" You repeated and he made a small moan and then replied "Outside for some fresh air" You didn't want to ask why he was drunk, you had gotten used to it by now so you let it go. Meanwhile he had thrown his jacket on the sofa.

"Why did you and Maxine argue?" Billy turned to look at you. He sat comfortably on the living room sofa bare-chested while he was ready to light his cigarette which he held between his lips. "Where's Max?" He asked "In her room to sleep after you made her cry" his face didn't change a bit, he was serious and definitely bored "Y/N, I specifically told you to leave Max alone, she was supposed to stay in her room " you nodded "In fact, she stayed in the room, but I kept her company" He let out a laugh and then looked back at your figure "You shouldn't have interacted with her" you shook your head "I'm sorry Billy, but I don't stay at your rules" at that statement he took the cigarette out of his mouth "I just want to know why you picked on her, you know I don't like seeing you or your sister like this"

"It's none of your business. What happens here is none of your business Y/N" you were shocked "Excuse me? You're my boyfriend, what happens to you is a fact that until proven otherwise concerns me too" You took a few steps closer towards the sofa. Billy giggled again and you were sure that the next one he would make would drive you mad "And let's hear, why on earth?" You gave an obvious look "Um, hello? We're engaged Billy, engaged!" You timed the last word well "Oh right, I forgot" he said it in a sarcastic way and now your nerves were getting frayed "Oh, I'm sorry this is weighing on you Billy" you too played the sarcasm card and he rolled his eyes "What the fuck Y/N! Now I have to tell you everything I do?" You nodded quickly "Yes, you piss me off that I have to tell you where I'm going, with who and why otherwise you'll ban me from going out" You almost screamed but then lowered your voice remembering Max in the other room.

Billy had lit his cigarette in the meantime "But that has nothing to do with it -" you stopped him while your blood was boiling "It certainly has something to do with it William!" Your eyes were different, they were like Billy had never seen them and when you used his real name he understood that you were seriously pissed. Billy hates being called by his real name and you knew it very well, you did it on purpose. You wanted him to understand how serious you were and how tired you were of the current situation.

“How dare you call me?” Even though he was drunk, Billy was high and his eyes were fixed on you as they gave you a horrible feeling. They wanted to intimidate you, but you weren't like that and he knew it from the first moment he met you. Even if you were afraid that he would knock your teeth out and then make you spill all your blood until you apologized, but you were brave and you wouldn't let yourself be bossed around.

You pointed your finger at him "Oh no! Don't try to make that angry dick face because I'm the angry one, you understand?" He was surprised by your arrogant response "Things have been going on like this for two months and I can't stand it anymore. You barely look at me, all you do is go out in the evening and you don't even tell me where you're going, but you do it when you're too drunk to drive and I have to pick you up" You started and he looked like he was listening intently "And this happens every Friday night Billy. I come home from work tired and destroyed by those filthy pieces of shit and instead being close to me all you do is complain" He snorted and now gave you a different look. He put the cigarette in the ashtray, even though he hadn't smoked it at all. He seemed calm and approached you smiling lovingly... was it the alcohol by any chance? Or maybe bipolar?

"Okay honey, you're right. I'm sorry, now how about we go relax over there–" you pushed him. You were disappointed. His response disgusted you more than expected "No Billy. You won't play your fucking game on me telling me I'm right when in reality you just want to take me to bed and fuck me the way you like it" his face was back and angry more than first "But apparently the other times you didn't hesitate to open your legs for me" it was cheeky and disgusting and you slapped him. You had become a burning fire and you were sure that you would burn him and his house down "Because I was blinded by a filthy imbecile asshole like you. I thought you loved me..." You felt the burning in your eyes as your eyes became shiny. You were too weak to face the truth but you needed it...as much as you loved that boy with all your heart, he would never love you "Oh so now it's me not loving you?" He said dramatically and the tears came out and this time you screamed "Billy, you never console me and only seek me out when you feel like having sex with me. What did you take me for? A toy? I'm your fucking gameboy by any chance?" He tried to answer but couldn't find the right words and blurted out "Shut your mouth" your nervous system was out of control and you raised your voice again "Not this time Billy! Not after I've opened and closed it as you please!"

Now you didn't care who could hear you or who you would disturb. You were tired. You didn't want this. You wanted a serious relationship with a serious person. You wanted someone who values ​​you and takes care of you when you need it, always available and who doesn't see you as a sex toy giving you false illusions. "Calm down, young lady! Show respect" you looked at him and in front of you you had another person. Not Billy Hargrove, but William Hargrove...the real him. Despite everything he was that and you were sorry for ruining yourself by being around him. You didn't think he would ever threaten you, an attitude you hated and hoped your boyfriend wouldn't attribute to "Wow...now you're threatening me?" Billy later realized what he said and didn't reply "Congratulations Billy Hargorve. You ruined my life. You made fun of me and took advantage of me and used me to please your cock when it got hard and needy. But worse…you became your father” you never thought you would say it, but you did. With that sentence you knew you would unleash his anger and you didn't give him time to react "It's over." You announced and then headed towards the door and exited the house as he yelled after you in anger. You didn't want to hear it or deal with it ever again. You had endured enough and it was time to end it.

You had ended a year-long relationship and you now ask yourself in tears as you walked quickly to your house as you had done. You didn't know that obviously. You will never understand, you loved him, what did you need to know or realize? As beautiful and magical as love could be, it was also blind and cruel. It seemed to be a difficult game where the only possibility of victory was to survive until the game itself got tired of testing you, and then it throws a truth in your face that you would rather ignore. But ultimately it was better to suffer for the truth than to live in something that didn't exist.

Now you needed to get up and continue to live your life but you weren't motivated to move forward and live like you did before working, especially now that the only person you loved was just a liar who loved playing with people's feelings and what's more he preferred masturbating to porn magazines than spending sweet moments with you. Would you have suffered? Yes. And you don't know for how long, but you hoped for little since you couldn't cry and dry up your tears for someone who never deserved you and who the only thing he ever worshiped was your body.

[devourable]

So, I love all of your OCs so far! I’ve been wondering: how would the yanderes feel about a darling with a young kid? (To make it simple, other parent isn’t in the picture, aside from maybe sending money.) Please, thank you, and have good day!

i decided to answer this for all of my yandere ocs bc im a sucker for found family/single parent tropes 🫶 cw! spoilers for future ocs + mentions of child neglect

🚼 the yanderes x single parent darling

⛪️ | abraham would be a bit surprised, to say the least. but he comes from a community where people get married and have kids the moment they’re out of high school (if not the moment they become adults) so while he would be sort of caught off guard, he’d adapt pretty quickly. he’d definitely fantasize about becoming a little family unit, probably even subtly propose the idea of expanding every so often. he wouldn’t exactly love your child — at least, definitely not the way he loves you — but you wouldn’t be able to tell with how well he treats them.

🚬 | the delinquents would be more like four older brothers more than anything. theyre all a bit too young to take on a proper parental role, nor would any of them have a real desire to, but they’d definitely have fun sharing their singular shared braincell with your kid. your child would probably grow up to be a massive little troublemaker thanks to their influence, but that’s why you love them, right? if the other parent is still involved one way or another though, they’d immediately put a stop to that. no reason to be involved with your ex now that they’re in the picture.

🌲 | mykolas would be curious of your child. he’s never seen such a young human up close before (considering he was always accused of eating them) so having a chance to actually be around one would be a new experience for him. he’d quickly start to refer to your child as his own, calling them his cub more than their name and carry them around on his shoulders or head whenever they go out together. it wouldn’t be uncommon to see him protectively curled up around them while they’re taking a nap.

🪸 | similarly to mykolas, the mermaids would be sort of curious about your child, though arguably less so as they have seen human children before. they have a very vague understanding of how to care for your child and would constantly search the sea for things that could come in handy for caring for them — you can expect to have a constant supply of eroded toys and suspiciously good quality clothes for them. they’d also try to teach them things that they’d teach the fry of their pods, though obviously they can only do so much teaching something that isn’t meant to live in the sea lol.

💪 | valentina grew up as a parentified older sibling, so while she wouldn’t particularly enthused about taking the role again so soon after getting out of it, she’d be capable of adapting to the role. she knows how to take care of a child and would ensure your kid’s cared for when they’re being watched by her, but she probably wouldn’t be able to establish much of an emotional connection to them without making an active effort to. but she does love children, so she’d learn to love yours too.

👑 | althea would hate your child. plain and simple. she’d view them as the living embodiment of you not keeping your promise to her, of you giving your love to someone else before she had the chance to have you to herself. while she’d never overtly mistreat your child, she’d be incredibly cold toward them and try to find reasons to avoid interacting with them. they’d be spoiled relentlessly with the hopes that if she gave them everything they’d need to live, neither you or her would have to deal with them.

🥩 | rhodes wouldn’t think much of your kid for the most part, but they’d express a gentle fondness for them the few times they do meet them. they’d affectionately greet them, offer them a treat, and hold a little conversation with them to keep them busy for a bit while you run errands or eat or whatever you need to do. they’re kind of awkward with children given they have nothing in common with them and have little experience with them, but surprisingly they’re a natural with yours.

🫀 | melchior has no interest in human kids. therefore they wouldn’t care much for yours, seeing your child more like a pet or something along those lines rather than a sapient being. their treatment of them would reflect that; they wouldn’t be necessarily mean or anything, but they’d be a bit patronizing and talk at them more than they’d talk to them. it isn’t out of malice, they’d genuinely think that that’s how you interact with children and any attempts to correct them would be met with confusion and frowns.

🕷️ | the alt kids would be wonderful parents to your kid. they’d more or less be sort of a mix of abe and the delinquents, but with the added bonus that they’d care deeply for your child as they’d see them as an extension of you rather than a mix of you with someone else. they’d come up with a system to help your child have a good upbringing and stick with it — faust would take up helping them study, anton would teach them manners and etiquette, and delta would help them with their social life. they’re so good for you and your child, see? they live for the idea that them treating your child well and loving them will make you love them all more in turn.

[heartofwritiing]

Hello!!! I saw that Lovejoy was being interviewed by MTV and I was wondering if you could write something where the reader is an interviewer and interviews them and Wilbur is like flirting with them the whole time, I totally understand if you don’t write it. You’re an awesome writer by the way:))

first omg thank you for saying im an awesome writer! i really appreciate it!! 🥹 second; THIS RIGHT HERE I will try my best since I don't really know how to write flirty but I hope you like it anyways!!

*I tweaked it a little that the reader is a fan of lovejoy but thats just me self reflecting… also this is unedited and kinda rushed so please forgive me if its not good and there are any mistakes!

musicianbur x fem!reader

-

“We are here with lovejoy at the biggest festival in new york city!” you didn’t try to hide your excitement as you spoke so enthusiastically into the microphone and looking directly into camera.

Lovejoy was one of your favorite up-and-coming bands. Working for an independent entertainment network gave you some advantages when meeting people in the industry you admired. But doing an exclusive interview with Lovejoy, you couldn’t wrap your head around. Since you first started listening to their music, you were so enthralled by their sound and lyricism, how could you not be a fan.

“How are you guys this hot afternoon?” you giggled and held the microphone towards the person standing closest to you, Wilbur. The lead singer of the band.

You would be lying if you didn’t find him attractive at all when you were standing right next to him. You couldn’t deny the nerves in the pit of your stomach standing so close to him that your arms bushed.

Following down the line were; Ash, Mark, and Joe at the end. They all chuckled at your remark about the weather and nodded in greeting.

“We're doing good! Just got off stage and feeling great! This is- well most of us anyways- first time in new york so we're excited to be here. ” Joe answered.

You nodded and brought the microphone back over to yourself.

“I was watching your whole set, and I gotta say, you guys were incredible! I am such a huge fan of you guys! I'm kinda freaking out that I get you to interview you!”

Other interviewers would always say that in apathetic tones but Wilbur could tell from the smile that graced your lips and sparkling eyes, your words were genuine.

“thank you so much, glad to meet a fan.” Wilbur winks. You almost stutter out the next question but play it off by clearing your throat, hoping the mic didn’t catch your falter.

“I know you guys love your fans, and they love you tenfold, so I imagine getting to meet them is such a great experience so, Do you have a favorite fan interaction?"

Mark was the one who answered the question first, but Wilbur wasn't listening to his response because he could not take his eyes away from you. In addition to being polite and praising their work so graciously, he also thought you were extremely attractive. Everything from your hair framing your face to your beautiful smile seemed to pull him closer to you like a magnet.

Wilbur's eyes burned into your skin while he watched you listen to Mark intently. You could feel him staring at you and it wasn't making you uncomfortable, but it made your pulse race in excitement. glancing at Wilbur briefly, He held your gaze for a few seconds before looking away quickly as he had gotten caught. You couldn't help but the mixture of thrill and confusion that washed over you. You knew something was happening between you two, but you weren't sure what it was.

Mark finished his response, then each member had answered until you had to hold the microphone up to wilbur for his reply.

"Yeah, I love every interaction I get with fans, especially when they're so genuine and lovely,"

You do not know why your mind automatically associated that with you, maybe it was the slight tone in Wilbur’s voice that gave you the impression.

At some point during the interview, Wilbur moved closer to you. Bystanders would see him shifting his feet to debauch his nervousness, but you understood what he was doing was on purpose trying to closer to you. The nearness between you made your face flush, and your heart quicken. You weren't sure what to do with yourself as every time you leaned over to let the others speak into the mic you were unintentionally brushing against Wilbur.

Sadly, the interview had to come to an end after you asked some questions that were sure to satisfy your producer’s. With an outro and a ‘cut’ from the camera man, you had called it a wrap.

Bidding your goodbyes to the band with firm handshakes and your genuine congratulations to their success you had finished your time with them.

When you turned to walk away to help finish packing up the equipment, a voice calling your name made you turn around in surprise.

Wilbur was jogging over to you with a nervous smile and reaching a hand over to you. He seemed like he had something on his mind he wanted to tell you so it was his turn to ask you a question. You waited with bated breath.

“I was wondering if I could get your number? if not I totally get it. I think you’re really nice and would maybe like to get coffee with me sometime?” Wilbur asks, shoving his hands in his jean pockets and rocking on his feet. It was honestly so adorable how anxious he was.

You on the other hand couldn’t believe the leader singer of your favorite band was asking you out- not asking you out- it was just your number and coffee. Maybe something more if you were lucky but, you wouldn’t get your hopes up.

There was no harm in accepting his offer to take you out so you simply said;

“I would love to,” Reaching for your phone in your back pocket, you handed him the device and he typed his number into your contacts.

Once he was finished, he passed your phone back to you and grinned, like he had just won the lottery he was so happy.

“I’ll text you so I can let you know when Im free!” you say, sliding your phone back into the pocket of your jeans. Wilbur nods.

“We leave in a few days, end of the tour so we get a few days off before flying home so i have plenty of time to see you.”

“Im looking forward to it,” you say and his smile brightens somehow.

With a quick hug and ‘message you soon’, you both say your goodbyes when you get an all clear from your crew the van is ready to go.

Wilbur went back to join in with his group falling into conversation. With one final wave as you both gave each other one last look of longing, you climbed into the van being greeted by air conditioning and sat back with a sigh.

You couldn’t help the butterflies in your stomach as you drove off from the thought of the next time you would see Wilbur soot again.

[jj-maybanks-daughter]

pictures

jj and john b find the pictures you sent to your boyfriend, but sarah figures it out.

pairings

jj maybank and daughter

pogues and niece

warnings

mentions of nudes, cringy texts, cursing, (lmk if i missed anything.

“dad, i’m getting in the shower!” you called out to him as you walked into the only bathroom of the château, other than the one in your uncle john b’s room. 

“k!” he shouted back.

john b and jj saw your phone on the counter, looking at each other, than back at the phone. “should we…?” john b asked

“well…” jj looked at the phone really wanting to, but he didn’t want you to be mad at him. “fuck it let’s do it.”

john b snatched the phone “what’s her password? if she’s anything like you it’ll be 12345” 

“ummm…” jj answered looking guilty

john b typed in the obvious password. “umm.. actually let’s not.” he said, placing the phone down, screen first. he saw the pictures you sent to your boyfriend, tristen.

“woah man what’d you see?” jj asked grabbing the phone.

“you know man, it is hers…” john b said, acting innocent of what he just saw. he tried to keep jj from seeing it, because he didn’t want to deal with the wrath of you too fighting for the next week.

jj looked at him with a raised eyebrow and began typing in the password 

“no man don’t!” john b said trying to stop him. not only because of the fighting but to keep you from knowing that your own dad saw your nudes. 

“AH GOD WHAT THE F-“ john b slapped his hands over his mouth, careful so y/n wouldn’t hear. not that you would anyway, you always sing in the shower. 

jj looked at his friend “what the fuck do we do about this?”

“wait did he ask for it? john b asked

“oh shit” jj said. “ew this is fucking gross” he added. 

tristen 

it’s my birthday, babe. gimme some cake

y/n 

i don’t have the ingredients 😔

tristen 

not that kind of cake, sweetie 

y/n

ik 😝

attached image 

john b acted like he was barfing, and jj was holding it down 

“do we say something?” john b asked. 

“idk we should ask sarah and kie.” 

“good idea.” 

the girls came inside and sat down. the boys explained to them what happened. 

“this is what your gonna do,” sarah started. “ask her for it and say i’m going through it, as soon as she gets out of the shower, so she can’t delete it. then, when i find them, i will have to be the one to talk to her and will have to tell you. she would be mortified if she knew her dad saw her nudes.”

“kiara added. “she wouldn’t trust you with anything ever again.”

jj just sighed. “when did our little girl grow up. i miss when the only thing we had to worry about with her was where her stuffie was.” jj said looking down at the ground, half joking, half serious. 

y/n finally got out of the shower. 

“hey kid, sarah’s gonna go through your phone while you get dressed.” jj shouted through the hallway. 

“no,no,no, wait!” the pogues gave eachother a look. 

“it’s fine y/n/n, im just going to turn off this thing in your settings, go get dressed.” sarah said grabbing the phone off the counter. 

y/n hoped that she closed out of the tab, where she knew what she did. her heart was pounding. 

after around 5 minutes, sarah knocked on her door. “can i come in?” 

y/n opened the door to let sarah in, but shut it after her. 

“i’m not mad, can you just explain this for me?” sarah said sincerely, showing her the screen. 

“i-i i just wanted to make him happy” she admitted, hanging her head in her hands. 

“i know y/n/n, but do you know the dangers of this? it could end up with his friends, your friends, everyone, and even though you trust him, i know that because i know your smart enough not to send these to people you don’t trust, his friends could have his phone and send it to themselves and all this stuff that you didn’t think about happening.” 

“i understand,” y/n said looking up at sarah. “i just…i just thought like…well i don’t know .” you sighed putting your head back where it was. 

“this is what your going to do. ask him to delete the picture and the texts, you don’t want them getting out and you should’ve thought about it before.” 

“ok” you said grabbing the phone from sarah. as you typed, you looked at her. “does my dad and them know?” 

“no, but i feel like i need to tell them.” 

y/n nodded her head but was still upset. she knew sarah was just trying to do the right thing.

“did he answer?”

“yea, he said he did it and he respected my decision” she showed sarah the phone. 

“you got yourself a keeper y/n/n” she said grinning. “now go to your camera roll and delete it.” 

“done.” 

“i’m proud of you, y/n/n”

“why i sent nudes?” you said looking painfully at the ground. 

“it’s not easy asking for him to delete them, i’m proud of you.” 

sarah leaned in for a hug and y/n accepted it. 

“now im going to go tell your dad, but ill keep in the details about what you asked him, ok?” you nodded your head, embarrassed.

sarah walked out, smiling, the pogues knew it was a success. sarah didn’t lie about telling your dad what you said. 

“phew, nice save, sarah.” john b said. 

“can i get an amen to that!” jj added, cracking open a beer.

[mikeyelistsukasa]

Hanako,Sakura,Teru,Tsukasa & Kou seeing Darling‘s SH scars for the first time

Tw: self harm ofc,scars mentioning,basically dark topic

An:yeah it wasnt requested,i wrote that because…why not?Enjoy NOT PROOF READ

please do not self harm yourself. And im sorry to those who already done it or ho though it. Stay strong and don’t give up. Ily all

You were cleaning the bathroom today because yashiro was sick today and kou had to leave early

Not that you minded. You still have company and that is hanako and those little adorable mokke‘s.

This is a lot better than going home and just lying in bed doing nothing or homework.

„say s/o-chan/kun, how come you agreed to clean the bathroom? Most people would decline it you know, GASP don’t tell me you enjoy my company~“

„Oh sush will ya? Im doing this cause i feel bad for yashiro…but i suppose you are correct about me enjoying your company“

Hanako smirked, happy at the response you gave him

„Now tell me where is the sponge and gloves so that i can start cleaning the toilet“

„Oh!- its over there“

Hanako pointed to the left corner

„I’ll bring them to you :D“

Hanako decided to spare you these 5 steps and decided to bring them to you

But just as he turned around he saw you pulling your sleeves up so that you wont get your sweater dirty

You reached out your hand to take it but before hanako gave it to you he

He noticed scars?

This boy stared in shock at your wrist

„Uhm…hanako? Can you give me the gloves already?“

Suddenly you are being grabbed against dour wrist

„S-S/O YOUR ARM I- WHAT HAPPEND ?!! WHO DID THIS?!?? DOES IT STILL HURT??!!“

It took you a second to understand that he is talking about you scars

„O-oh! I totally forgot i had them“

You laughed a little seeing hanako‘s worried expression

„DONT LAUGH! YOU ARE HURT“

Just before he could go to grab some bandages you gently grabbed his hand

„Pft Hanako…im okay.“

You sat down with the ghost

„Im sorry for laughing i guess heh, your worried expression was pretty cute tho~“

Hanako flushed at that but you could still he his concerned look

„To answer your questions. I self harmed. I did that to myself. And no they do not hurt anymore because i quitted“

You smiled gently hoping it will relax the poor boy for a bit

But i think you only did worse

„Yourself??? Why??? Dont tell me someone forced you to do it to yourself. When did you quit???“

„Geez give me a break dude haha….i had a very hard time back then where i thought doing this is the only way to release stress.i had big family issues at that time but now everything is doing well.and to answer your last question i did about 2 years ago. So again do.not.worry“

Hanako blinked processing every word you just said

„I see“

Suddenly he stands up reaching out a pair of gloves

„Well ready to continue cleaning?~“

You and Sakura were sitting in the broadcasting room enjoying some cup of tea while reading books

„Hm“

„Is there something wrong?“

Sakura asked without taking her eyes from her book

„No not at all. I just got really invested in the book you gave me its very interesting i like it! Thank you by the way“

Sakura smiled to herself hearing that and went back to reading her book

Suddenly instead of reaching her cup, Sakura accidentally spilled her cup of tea with her elbow all over your pretty white gloves

„Ow ow ow ow ow hot hot hot!“

„Oh no dear- im sorry i didnt mean to do that, it was an accident“

You slowly take off the glove

„It’s alright don’t worry hah! Everyone doesn’t mistakes“

Sakura couldn’t help but let a slight sigh of relief hearing that

Thought that relaxed aura she just had disappeared right this instant after seeing your wrist

You stared at her in confusion

„…..S-sakura?“

Sakura stared at your wrist realising those are old scars and coming to a conclusion that you stopped this awful habit

…but just in case-

„You don’t do this anymore. Right?“

„Eh? Oh! Nono don’t worry i quitted. Im okay now :D“

„Understood“

Sakura grabbed gently both of your hands

„I’ll go get you new gloves“

„Oh don’t worry it’s okaaaaaaand she is already on her way„

“Hey s/o.”

You saw Teru sitting next to you

“How come you always wear a sweater under your uniform? I mean its summer. Aren’t you like sweating under there?”

“Ah hello Minamoto-kun. No im not sweating under it. And i wear it because its my favourite sweater! Ofc i wouldn’t wear it if it was that hot for me, i dont like it that much to the point i would sweat under it”

“Well nothing i can do. Also i told you, you can use my first name”

“Yeah yeah okay prince minamoto (¬_¬) “

Boink

“Whaaa what was that for T-T“

“you know exactly why :)“

“say... Wanna go out tomorrow like i dunno swimming? I heard it is going to be very hot tomorrow”

“Hmmm…yeah sure! Im free tomorrow so i don’t mind”

“Great! I’ll meet you there”

And just like that the bell rang and you went your ways

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚢 | (• ◡•)|

You were waiting for teru at the beach for about 10 minutes already

“Phew, he sure didn’t lie about it being hot today”

You took off your favourite sweater and wrapped it around your torso(or hips idk)

“S/o!”

“Speak of the devil”

You turn around to see none other than Teru Minamoto

“Hey Min- Teru… well where do you wanna go first?”

“Hm how abouuutttt…some ice cream?”

“Sounds great to me!”

And just like that you guys went to get something to refresh youself

And while you two eat you remembered that you need to apply some sunscreen

“Teruuuuuu~”

“Yeah?”

After teru saw s/o holding the sunscreen he without any hesitation sat down allowing s/o to put suncream on him

“In return I get to put sunscreen on you correct?”

“Hmmmmmm alright alright”

After some minutes s/o finished and took off her clothes revealing herself only in a bikini

Teru slightly blushed after seeing s/o in such clothes but stayed respectful non then less

That is until he saw s/o do a ponytail revealing scars on their shoulders

“S-s/o…”

S/o sat down signalling teru to put the sunscreen on their back

“Teru? Is something wrong?”

“What…happened to your shoulders?”

“O-oh… well you see back when i was *insert younger self* i had fallen into pretty deep rabbit hole after loosing something/someone important to me….”

Teru couldn’t tell if you finished talking or want to add something more

“But…”

S/o shows their left/right arm to show more scars

Woah!How did he not notice them before?

“I was only getting more and more let down with each day. To the point i started to let out my anger on myself”

Teru looked at your expression seeing that you were uncomfortable with the topic so he put the cold sunscream without saying anything on your spine

„C-COLD you jerk!!!!“

„Haha. Im sorry we don’t want you get burned right?…Also promise to quit what you are d-„

„I already have don’t worry, these scars are like from 2-4 years ago“

„Oh! Well if you feel like doing it again let me know and I’ll be there gor you“

„pft You sure are cheesy today“

„Well what can i say? Im spending time with the most beautiful person right now“

„Oh my~“

„S/O S/O S/O S/O S/O S/O S/OOOOOOOOOO“

„Sigh what is it tsukasa.“

„Let’s go find some supernaturals to smash!“

„Heh yeah-no not today im very tired right now“

„Awh :(„

„Don’t give me that look“

:(((((

…

„Fine just not for too long…“

„YAAAAAY“

‚i don’t think we will find a supernatural anyway‘ i thought

When out of nowhere i heard some noise

But that was probably just my imagination

„OHHH A MOKKE“

„W-wait tsukasa don’t run away!….great now im alone“

Suddenly i heart the same noise again but this time it sounded like someone was…growling?

Just as i turned around i saw a big supernatural right behind me

I barely managed to dodge his attack but in the process it ripped off my sleeve

„TSUKASA??!?!?!NOW IS A GREAT TIME TO SMASH A SUPERNATURAL“

You closed your eyes ready to take the supernaturals attack

….but nothing came

In fact you heard some…unpleasant noises

You opened your eyes just to see tsukasa smashing the supernaturals face against the floor

You stood up glad that you didn’t get hurt and went up to tsukasa

„Hey…tsukasa thats enough“

„It hurted you…“

„Hm? No it didn’t don’t worry so lets just g-„

„Your arm“

You looked at your arm confused since you don’t feel any pain on it

„Oh! Tsukasa those scars are old its okay it wasn’t the supernatural that did it!“

„There are others that hurt you?…“

Tsukasa stood up and placed his hands on your shoulders

„Tell me who“

His dark aura made you kinda nervous

„Well how do i explain this to you…the one that caused these scars was me“

„S/o is hurting themselves???!!! (」°ロ°)」 „

„No! I mean- it was a long time ago…so do not worry i am not being hurt and im not hurting myself“

Tsukasa didnt quite fully understand why you did that in the first place but hearing you being safe is all that matterd to him.

„well then…LETS GO FIND MORE TO SMASH“

„NO-„

You and kou had teamed up at school to be partners in cooking class

‚They probably teamed up with me cuz they struggle with cooking‘

‚i teamed up with him to spend more time with him‘

Yeaaaaahhhh cooking sure was something

Honestly he didn’t even notice your scars right away after you rolled up your sleeves

He noticed it when he told you to cut the cucumber

„Ow! Stupid knife(╥_╥)“

��S-s/o are you okay?“

„Yeah just a tiny scar on my finger heh“

„Wait let me see- S/O YOUR AR-„

You quickly put your hand against his mouth

„is everything okay here you two?“

„Y-yes mr. (Teachers name)“

That was close

You shouted with a whispering voice

„What was that you idiot???we almost got in trouble“

„your arm its full of scars!!!!“

„Yeah??? So what“

„What do you mean so what???? I got concerned and-“

„You two! Out.now“

…

„.:…Promise to not tell nii-chan that i got into trouble“

„I promise-„

„OH RIGHT your ar-„

„Sighhhh you still on about that?“

„Ofc! What happened??? Who did this???How did it happen???Does it still hurt??? Should i bring anything????“

You let out a small laugh. You hate to admit it but kou being so worried is so cute to you

„Its alright kou. Those are my old selfharm scars“

„huh- but-but why would you hurt yourself?“

„Sometimes people do harm themselves. Some stay up late. Some stop eating and well…“

You looked at your wrist

„Some people harm themselves physically“

Kou grabbed both of your hands

„I might not have a right to say anything about this but please don’t ever do this again! You matter so much to me…the last thing i want is to see my friend/bf/gf/partner suffer while i dont do anything!!! I will do everything and anything you want just please…“

Hearing that made your eyes form up some tears

„D-don’t cry!!! Did i say something wrong??!!!?“

„Oh kou… i promise. Those are old ones so dont worry I’ve stopped…it’s just…hearing this i-„

You hugged Kou tightly which startled the exorcist

„Thank you“

…

Kou hugged you back tightly

„You’re welcome“

Hope i left you satisfied. Stay safe you all and don’t do stupid stuff

[014miki]

♥︎‹ 𖤩 𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃 .

C: song lyrics (specially), no gender specification (i try), care, comfort, soft behavior, little praises. (maybe by bi-han and later by you) nothing explicit or sexual, at least for now. bi han (sub-zero) x reader. a/n: It's my first story, be kind if you're going to make a comment or request. ¡enjoy! > used song: me and my husband by mistki.

You really cared about him, there wasn't a moment where you didn't think about him because he forever was stay on your mind, ¿how could you help it? He was your husband, by pure instinct you couldn't stop thinking about his well-being even though he is the most stubborn man on the planet. Still, he and you so doing better than most couples, anyone would have given up on your situation but you still remain stable despite the conditions you currently find yourself in. "me and my husband do it better"

Bi han had attended with his brothers a "test" that they would perform on some boys whom you did not know at all, at least you would have liked to know but he had not told you anything about it because it was not an interesting fact or one that you should know, or that was his words. Even so, you couldn't help but feel stupid sitting in that bed that you both shared, you felt insignificant and a waste of oxygen.

You couldn't help but think that you would disappear, your memories, everything you had seen and experienced with your eyes, your body, everything with you. You leaned your back against the mattress, resting your body except for your mind, you still had that guilt that tormented you every time he went on a mission with his brothers, you also worried about them but not to the same degree you did with him. Your eyes point lost at the ceiling, your gaze does not reflect anything, not even the brilliance that characterized you, impossible to do so under these conditions.

──── "¿Where are you, bi-han?" you think aloud.

──── "Im here, dear." he's talk, you hadn't noticed when he arrived at the temple where you both stay.

──── "¡Bi-Han, are you ok!" you answer happy and you huggie him.

──── "Yes, ¿You worried for me? I have told you many times not to do it, i will always come back." scolds.

──── "Sorry.. i.. i can't.. You are my husband and me too i'ts logic my reaction for you and you brothers."

──── "I understand but i i'm a lin kuei, i'm take care of myself and others. Specialy for people i matter to me." He responds as he places one of his hands on your cheeks, caressing it a little with his thumb. You could feel how rough it was.

──── "O—Okay... please... never again you scary me for this stuff. C'mon, come with me..."

He doesn't respond but agrees to your request, releasing your face and separating himself from you as he follows you. The look he gave you a moment ago fades as he remembers how things the day for him and his brothers today, rubbing the wound he had made on his arm a little, he assumed you had noticed it but he wished you hadn't.

As they advanced, he began to feel down and sad as he began to think about why he was doing all this ¿Why follow Liu Kang? ¿What did he having for done or have he done to improve things? For him he had done absolutely nothing and it brought back memories of how his father behaved the same or worse for him.

He felt shocked with all this, but then he remembered you, he thought that thanks to you he hadn't given up. I knew that you and he do it better, you knew that every time he was present you felt like someone special and with value and you both knew that neither of you would have a painted face and you would be united to this life today and always, not even death would separate you two.

but now it's time to tend to the superficial wounds, then the emotional ones and finally give yourself a little rest. Sometimes even a grandmaster needs a break from daily stress next to someone.

"and that someone is you."

Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it and please let me know if you notice any errors. I hope you like my first story (maybe so it won't be the last)

[solomons-poison]

maybe obey me?

heartbreak angst?? “your leaving arent you” sorry if im being vague..

Heartbreak

A/N: You're totally fine with your request! I just want to make sure you get what you were looking for :) This is my first time writing angst without comfort, and tbh I haven't even really written angst aha.. These all feel a little wordy, especially Simeon's, but I hope you enjoy! This one kind of escaped me 😬 they're not very headcanon-like lol

Featuring: GN reader || Diavolo x reader, Barbatos x reader, Simeon x reader, Solomon x reader

Warnings: angst of course; breakups; mentions of falling in Simeon's part; mentions of death in Solomon's part

══════════════════

Diavolo

You both should have known better from the start, but as they say, love is blind, and it certainly seemed to give you both blinders to the fate of your relationship.

The topic of the future of your relationship was not something you had discussed in detail with each other... or at all, really. One moment, you were the human world representative and he the Prince of the Devildom. And the next, he'd taken you on as his precious lover.

Sure, you'd had a small discussion of logistics regarding marriage with the brothers at one point, each of them expressing their desire to marry you and bring you into the family. Even Solomon had joined in on the discussion, clearly having fun regarding this debate topic and the advantage he'd have as a fellow human. Eventually, you all had come to the conclusion that, at this point in time, marriage wasn't yet feasible due to the newness of human and demon collaboration.

It wasn't that you two didn't understand this conclusion; after all, it was Diavolo that had pointed this out to the others. But perhaps in your eagerness to explore these feelings, it made you two ignore all the other details regarding this issue. That not only was a relationship between a human and a demon not viewed positively by most demons, but you were also dating their ruler, someone that lived by a completely different set of rules from others. Someone with expectations and priorities to meet, plus the possibility of needing the Demon King's approval as well.

And so, it should have only been natural and understandable what happened next, but the pain of it would still stay with you both forevermore.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" were the words Dia uttered to you one night while holding each other close. You hadn't yet mentioned your concerns to him, in fact you hadn't even finalized your decision on what you were going to do about it. But somehow, he still knew. Both of you sensed where things were going, even though you didn't want to admit it. You couldn't answer him that night, but you knew you'd have to eventually.

It was you that walked away first.

Maybe the honeymoon period of the relationship had worn off, or perhaps it finally hit you about the strange and even nasty looks other demons gave you when they saw you and Diavolo together. The whispers carried to both your and Diavolo's ears about the people's opinions. You didn't want to run away from the issue. But at one point, you realized that this wasn't something you two were meant to force.

Relations between humans and demons would grow eventually, if the exchange program and improved education had anything to do with it. But that change was still a long way off, and you owed it to yourself but also the ruler of the Devildom to cut things now, before any long-lasting damage was done.

You quickly and quietly sorted out a return to the Human World. It wasn't without protest from multiple parties, and surprisingly even Lucifer could not agree with your decision right away. But eventually everyone folded. You hadn't needed to mention your decision to Diavolo, either. He never questioned you again after that night, seemingly coming to a mutual understanding, and he permitted the portal entry without a word, seeing you off with some simple words of farewell.

Everyone else was uncomfortable with the situation but knew there wasn't much they could do to change your mind. They continued to visit you on rare occasion in the human world over time, providing their emotional support and distracting with silly antics. But no one could ignore the palpable tension in the air when you eventually decided to marry and Diavolo arrived to give his best wishes, a smile on his face but not in his eyes.

All you could do was remind yourself that you did what had to be done.

══════════════════

Barbatos

Catching feelings was never on Barbatos' agenda. Not that he was some cold, unfeeling robot, incapable of emotions. But he'd spent so many years at Diavolo's side, essentially "tamed" after all that time, always busy attending to the needs of the kingdom and the Prince, he didn't have time to entertain the thought of a relationship.

But upon you entering his life, his concept of his wants and needs completely flipped upside down. You did have to fight hard for his affections to start, but once he came to terms with how he felt, it was like something switched in him and the floodgates opened.

What was initially a business-like and cold demeanor, melted into a warm sweetness and a surprisingly playful personality. He would invite you for tea and sweets made specifically for you, even making baking dates on occasion; he was much more open in his mannerisms and jokes, and others would find him talking about you during casual conversation.

Diavolo was delighted, of course. Barbatos was extremely good at hiding his emotions, but his employer knew him long enough to see through it all. He loved witnessing his hard-working butler practically lovesick, his eyes always coming back to look at you during your visits to the castle, lingering a moment longer than usual during your meetings. Everyone else was just astonished by the effect you had on this stoic butler, and how you managed to bring out this seemingly new side to him.

However, the joy was not to last. Although your interactions were often limited to just within the castle, your few interactions in R.A.D. managed to catch the attention of a few students, leading to gossip and rumors about the strange influence of the human world exchange student.

At first it was just jokes regarding your ability to wrangle so many demons under your belt. But as time went on, the gossip became vicious, accusing you of purposefully trying to influence the Prince and interfere in Devildom matters. After all, if even you could get to the heart of the Prince's right hand man, what could stop you from getting involved with the Prince himself? Some commoner nobody that had no business getting involved?

Diavolo had warned before that the relationship between demons and humans was still a rocky one, but perhaps you hadn't fully understood the consequences when you chose to pursue Barbatos. And even Barbatos was guilty of wearing rose colored glasses as he came to know you and fall for you.

As the rumors only worsened, you both knew something would need to change, but perhaps you were a little more idealistic in your options than your lover, hoping for a choice that would please everyone.

But Barbatos had different priorities to consider, ones that were millenia in the making. And although he wanted to follow his heart, he yearned for it, his priority lay ultimately with the crown, and Barbatos was the first to walk away.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" you couldn't help but ask him finally. He had approached you at R.A.D. stating he needed to discuss an important matter with you, alone. You knew in your heart that if it was something school-related, he would make a formal meeting with the others involved. And the ever-spreading rumors regarding your "true intentions" certainly didn't bode well for a growing relationship, either.

Admittedly, your question threw him off, but the following silence was enough of an answer for you. In the end, your breakup was mutual, after he laid out his concerns and provided his evidence for his decision. But it didn't fix the gaping void left in both your hearts afterwards, and try as he might, the effect on Barbatos was clear as day. No one could find a way to refute your mutual decision, and you remained one of Barbatos' biggest regrets for all the wrong reasons.

══════════════════

Simeon

Falling in love with you is as unexpected for you as it is for Simeon. He convinced himself that he felt the same for all humans, including you, though he believed every human unique and a special individual. But every interaction with you had him falling further and further into the rabbit's hole well before he even knew what was happening.

By the time he understood his feelings, he was tightly wound around your little finger, always eager for your attention and your love, and you were happy to give it to him. And although the others, particularly the brothers, were a little upset about your choice in partner, they were still happy for you two and felt it was a sweet match.

That's why everything seemed picture perfect, to start. You two went on dates, learned more about each other's respective Worlds, baked together, and you encouraged his creativity in his writing. He helped you grow and learn, but it wasn't one-sided; Simeon definitely changed as well, becoming more open to his own feelings and desires. You two were the picture perfect couple, in everyone's eyes.

But something nagged at the back of your mind, your gut telling you that something wasn't quite right. You did your best to ignore it, though, as Simeon really did seem to be the ideal boyfriend, attentive to your wants and needs, thoughtful and considerate and the very definition of an angel. You did your best to reciprocate and things seemed to be going smoothly for a while.

It wasn't until you spotted a feather on Simeon's bed one day, pure white at the base but noticeably darkened at the tip with a black you could only attribute to Lucifer's wings, that you realized your hunch was correct. Something, someone was causing Simeon to fall. And you just knew that you were the cause.

You didn't want to jump to conclusions, but it was difficult bringing up the concept of a fallen angel without making it obvious you were concerned for Simeon. And little by little, your suspicions were confirmed as you witnessed his behavior changing, his sins floating up to the surface more and more often and the occasional fallen feather measuring how much further he'd fallen.

You weren't even sure how to bring it up to him. Sweet, smart Simeon would do his best to either rationalize what was happening, or even worse, try to put the blame on himself instead of you, and any debate with Simeon was difficult to win. Time and time again, you considered how to broach the subject, but in the end, you couldn't do it right. You could only hope that leaving him would correct things, save him from this devastating experience.

The distance between you two started to grow, slowly at first, but Simeon eventually noticed the way you were slipping from his grasp. It wasn't long before others began to catch on as well, particularly Lucifer and Luke, noting the awkward air that formed between the two former lovebirds. However, conversations trying to investigate died on their lips, unable to make you answer, and you had none to give them anyway.

Simeon did his best to try to repair what was breaking, but it only seemed to push you further away each time, leaving him utterly lost. At least if you yelled at him, screamed, even hit him, it would be better than the utter nothing he was left with. But you couldn't bring yourself to say the words you needed to, the true reason for why you were drifting from him.

Simeon knew something was wrong, but he feared your answer more than anything, or rather the rejection he knew was coming, so he did his best to pretend even though he knew that was wrong. The right thing would be to confront you, be open about his worries and his desires, ensure you know that he would never blame you for anything that would come of this relationship, but he seemed to lose his words when he saw you.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" was uttered through his lips finally, one evening, but they fell upon no one's ears but his own.

Eventually, you were the first to walk away. When you did finally voice your decision to end things, he knew it didn't make sense, but he respected your agency enough not to question your feelings. It wasn't until years later he discovered the truth of it, but he never blamed you for it, although his heart ached just a little bit more, never having forgotten your love.

══════════════════

Solomon

Solomon never intended to get this involved with you. He was simply intrigued by you, a human world exchange student that he later found out to be an incredibly powerful sorcerer that also managed to attract the attention of several high-ranking demons.

You were a fascinating person, a once-in-a-lifetime individual that he couldn't help but want to get to know better, to get closer to as time went on and be your guide. He couldn't help but be attracted to you, even more so than he thought, and that's what led to the greatest dilemma he's dealt with in ages.

Solomon avoided making close relationships with normal humans after repeat incidents of outliving them every single time. There was a reason he dealt with mostly demons and witches now, people that were a bit hardier that he wouldn't have to say goodbye to so soon.

But with you, he couldn't help himself. You were like a siren, calling him closer and closer with your sweet song, until he was totally ensnared. And it wasn't long before he realized what these feelings were, the tight feeling around his heart and the way his eyes could never leave you when you were in the room.

He knew he'd come to regret this, he always did, but his brain and his heart battled long and hard about how to deal with this. For a while, he let himself indulge in your presence, and the fantasy that he could have a normal life with you, move in together, get married, maybe found a new magical society together.

But as time passed, celebrating multiple birthdays together, and he started to notice physical signs of aging, gray showing in your hair roots and wrinkles developing at the corners of your eyes, it scared him about what was coming. Of course, he spent ages looking into ways to elongate a human's life, like what had happened to him. But he didn't even know how to broach that subject with you even if he had found a way.

What if you declined? Would you two try to settle for what time you had left, together, watching you slowly die as he remains unchanged? Could his heart even take that?

Or what if you accepted, but came to hate everlasting life like he did? What if you became immortal, but the never-ending years made the world bleak and gray for you, too? And you lost the light in your eyes? He would never forgive himself for that.

So he did the next best thing he could think of, and decided to not even give you the choice. Of course, it was easier said than done, but he couldn't figure out another way around it. He became more distant, less intimate with you, building up his walls again that you'd spent ages breaking down to begin with. At first you didn't quite catch on, but the more it happened, the more it dawned on you what was happening, although you couldn't place why.

"You're leaving, aren't you?"

He knew the question was coming, and he hated himself for how second-nature it was to feign a smile for you. You both knew the feelings you had for each other, but Solomon hid his worries and true reason for leaving in his heart, far away from you.

He was the one that stepped away.

He'll play it off as a loss of interest, that for an immortal like him, it was inevitable that he'd fall out of love at some point and to not take it personally. You knew this was bullshit, however, but couldn't find a way to get to the bottom of it. It was a very rough breakup, one that confused and saddened everyone else that had been watching you two get together, these two magical peas in a pod, inseparable and complementary to the other.

Asmodeus was ready to give Solomon hell for you, he was the most worried one of the bunch, and Barbatos knew too that something was off. But they couldn't do much as you refused. In the end, Solomon never confided his true reason for leaving, but you just knew it wasn't as cut and dry as he made it out to be.

[vogelmeister]

Eurovision 2024: my experience as a fan

One thing about me is that I love Eurovision. I have all the winners plastered on my door at home, I can beat anyone and everyone at European geography. Each year for a week in May, I am people’s go to for anything and everything Eurovision, from explaining the big five to promoting my favourite songs. I willingly get up at 5am to tune in live, I have written two academic essays on Eurovision, and both essays have a sense of passion running through them where you can tell I love the topic- may or may not have been called out once on that. I knew so much about the topic that neither essay required much research. When I lived in the Netherlands, I attended Het Grote Songfestivalfeest, probably killing my seat neighbours with my singing and poorly articulated Dutch when De Diepte came on. As well as that, my friends and I took a trip to Rotterdam and visited where the contest was held in 2021. Having me, an Australian, alongside a Dutch person and a Greek, exploring Rotterdam highlighted to me exactly what Eurovision should be about. Unity. 

Being in a room of Eurofans gave me joy that is unexplainable. I just remember realising, ‘hey I found my people’

However, I always knew ESC 2024 was going to be a hard watch for me, even before the boycotts begun. About a year ago I went through a massive friendship breakup with one of my closest Eurovision friends, and their villianisation of me meant that watching with them wasnt an option. I didn’t want to watch alone. That’s all I will say on that. I had a year to deal with that, anyway, and even when people were boycotting the event after October 7th, I thought, theres actually no way that Israel is actually competing this year. They surely will send something too political and get dq'd, right? Most of the knowledge I have of Palestine and Israel comes from my year 12 modern history class, which as my friend and I discussed today, was taught neutrally- and it’s not in Israel’s favour. I was there when Hatari spoke out in 2019 and did the banners, and I remember the shock and understanding what a big deal this was.

I toyed with the idea of boycotting myself. I had my reasons. I auditioned for a play, which didnt work out for me, as I was too distracted by Eurovision week to care. I was less invested in Eurovision as a whole, and I would get sleep. But in the end, I decided not to. My friend (who found out I liked Eurovision after I bitched about my ex friends not enjoying that I had other interests asides from Taylor Swift) was already coming around to watch.  I decided my mental health came first, before boycotting and before being an activist. If I could save this one piece of my mental health, I would be fine. Stupid delusional me, well she had hope. I wanted to support Joost, and the other artists who were stuck in this shitshow of a year. I staunchly boycotted Isreal’s song, I have only heard it in full once, and that was against my will. I even blocked her on Spotify. 

I looked at it all positively- this all meant I was going in more blind than ever. I bought my 2024 CD, but I also broke a lot of traditions- I didnt do my predictions like I do every year on my whiteboard, I didnt film the first semi qualifications with the caption ‘im in spain’ and put it on my story, and I hardly watched the NFs. I liked Eurovision, but this year, with all going on, I felt guilty and ashamed. I have been ashamed of being a eurofan before, but not on this level. I felt like I was trapped in a glass box, kicking and screaming at the ebu but they had airpods in. The answer was so obvious. Ban Isreal, like you did with Russia. People were harassing artists for competing, especially Olly, who I realised had no choice in the matter anyways. I ended up thinking “just get through the week, soon it will be over, and you’ll have fun with your friend.” I have never wanted Eurovision week over in my life. I just wasnt excited.  Europapa basically became my ride or die, built upon my love for the Netherlands, and the genuine good vibes of the song. Joost was charismatic, and the song had a nice story. Another one of my friends, who realised I was eurofan after I posted a video on my story where you could see my Dowue Bob poster (I have my reasons for keeping it), found a watch party and it was free. She had her drivers license so she could get us there, and my other friend and I agreed. It would be fun, I would bring my Dutch flag and my orange beanie and wear my Sam Ryder shirt. 

The first semi happened. My friend came over, we slept on the couch. I enjoyed myself, the qualifiers werent shocking though and I guessed 9/10 of them. It was pretty mid, but it was fun. The only issue was Poland being robbed and the Australian commentary on SBS being dicks to Portugal, which they backtracked in the final. It was insufferable, but the worst was yet to come.  

The second semi. I was so excited to see Joost perform and bonded with my Dutch coworker over him and his song, which honestly was beautiful. If she didnt know how much I love the Netherlands before, she does now. I did notice that when Israel qualified, all the sickness in my stomach just exited the room, as the worst that could happen, happened. But sadly, I knew it would happen. Seeing the videos, however, of Palestine protesters and the booing and shouting, despite attempts to silence us, was beautiful. It showed exactly where the fandom stood, what we thought. And my mum was even happy about Israel being treated like bullshit. 

And then shit started to go down. 

The second semi press conference. The kaarija video. Joost being followed around for propaganda content by Israel. Joost’s “why not” and throwing the Dutch flag over his head.  Marina falling asleep (queen). Bambi being dehumanised by Israel’s delegation and asshole of a commentator. Zionists kept making excuses and I got a few threats on TikTok of all places for supporting a bully manchild. Well, fuck you, at least I am not suporting genocide. It was a mess. My friend asked me for my opinions on the qualification while at work and i basically told her I didn’t want to talk about it. I looked so sad on break my coworker offered me a banana. 

“Treat Eden Golan as human! She’s only 20” I wondered, how could I? How could I treat someone as human when they were basically a puppet, a face for a genocidal nation. How could I do that when that same genocidal nation was tearing apart the one thing I loved?  Her delegation certainly didn’t treat Joost Klein as human; certainly just as another tool they could use to promote their propaganda machine. I felt sick. He wasn’t the only one. I was so proud of Joost, and I will always be proud of him, I think. What he did during the press conference after semi 2 took guts.  Normally I would be pissed at a delegation getting mistreated like this, but not today. As far as I was concerned, this was good riddance. Get the fuck out, you’re not wanted here. 

On Saturday, I started to realise I had this heavy feeling in my chest and it wasn’t leaving. I felt on edge, and yet I was a world away in Australia. I listened to “I can do it with a broken heart” fifty times on my way to work that day, confident that maybe I could power through this matinee shift without cracking. My favourite thing in the whole world was falling apart before my eyes, and it was easily avoided. I felt sick at work, there were points when I was thinking “I can’t do this.” But I could. I would. I would get through this shift. I messaged one of my friends in NL asking her how she was and she said she also wasnt having a good time, to which I confessed not wanting to get out of bed that morning because I was so sick with discomfort. 

People were continually asking my thoughts, if I enjoyed the shows, the memes were sent and I had to put on a brave face because crying over a song contest is stupid and im a coward and hate being an outspoken activist.

The final straw for me was Joost Klein getting disqualified. This would have been a devastating blow for me no matter which nation it was, but it being the Netherlands, the one country I love more than anything else, the one song that was basically my ride or die in this shitshow of a year: well it felt personal. It showed the double standards of the EBU- how could an incident, hardly worth a fine, get Joost kicked out of ESC when Israel waltzed in with a smugass grin and a kill count. If it was about Joost's parents, I hope he hit them hard. the misleading information, the lack of transparency, and AVROTROS's discomfort over the whole ordeal was the cherry on the cake and really, actually showed me in full colour who the EBU were and that they didn't give two shits, bending the rules for Eden and using everyone else as scapegoats. That Joost, or any of the other artists were not allowed to have boundaries. Instantly I messaged my friend,  and went “I am not fucking going to this watch party.” She agreed with me, the vibes would be off and probably zionist. My other friend, who was staying the night, was still keen to watch ESC. Instead of going to the livestream in Hurstville, we all  came to mine at 5am and we elected to watch together.  To finish what we started. As my friend said, “it could be the last one.” 

I saw myself witnessing the death of Eurovision.  All because someone wouldnt fucking kick out a country. When I woke up in the morning, I saw that Bambi had posted a statement saying they had issues with Israel and the delegation, and even the EBU fully admitted that Israel had broken rules. Yet where was the punishment?

I will confess the 5am start time hurt more this time around. Normally I would be bounding down the stairs, box of chips in hand, and excited to see the memes. Today, it just hurt. Dancing around to Europapa didn’t hide the emptiness in my soul about the disqualification, about the double standards enacted by the EBU this year.  The interval acts were mid. Petra talking about the rules, saying shit like “it’s apolitical” stung with irony I had never felt before. I put on a brave face and I had as much fun as I could but in reality, I was sad and angry. Wishing I had gotten into that play. That I had the guts to boycott and explain to people why. That Joost wasnt disqualified for shit Eden Golan would have gotten away with. 

After the show, I felt empty. Switzerland won, and congrats to them obviously, I like The Code. But after the shitshow of this week, all I felt was free and relieved. Israel still came top 5 and it confirmed what was sickeningly true. People still support Israel. People were still pulling the “Croatia robbed” game, unaware how tone deaf that feels in the current circumstances. It didn’t matter who won, as long as it wasn’t Israel, but it never felt like Israel lost. All I wanted to do was cry. My friend was showing me Eurovision memes probably unaware that I had been through the worst Eurovision of my life, and just wanted to cry and be left alone. No hate to her obviously but I was fucking trying to hold it together all morning, but I couldn't express my emotions on the matter. I hope AVROTROS sue the shit out of the EBU. I hope Joost gets a hero’s welcome home in the Netherlands. I hope past artists speak out. I hope Isreal gets banned. 

I will be celebrating the small wins this year. I will be streaming the artists that stood up to the ebu, streaming the ones that spoke out, and of course, continuing to support Joost Klein. I will never forget watching Ukraine sail past Israel in the televote, a win of itself. I am thankful to those in the arena that spoke out against the EBU and booed both Israel and Osterdahl.  To those who smuggled in flags, to those who refused to be silent. I will get over this, I will, but seeing the outcome of this week leaves little joy. I hope this isnt the end of Eurovision, but wherever we go now, I think a part of me did die this week.

[swanprincesspixie]

Hey, i apologize if this might be kinda negative, you can feel free to answer privately if needed

i was into shifting before actively, until mental health got very bad and i gave up at last year's summer, (tho after giving up i mini-shifted by accident few times, only my vision wasn't working in most of them) but those still didn't courage me to come back into shifting because i got the mindset even if i shift ill get back here anyways, sorry im just mentally ill i struggle with trying to be positive, im recently getting myself back, i intended and expected to shift a few nights, though i didn't had even slightest progress or any feeling like im close like how i used to have before, i think its either cuz im uncontrollably pessimistic or its because i can't take shifting serious anymore?, is there anything i can do to change my beliefs? Like any advices to unlearn anything i got into my head from a year of giving up?

Please don’t apologise! You have nothing to be sorry for💘

I’m sorry you’re struggling with your mental health and I hope you know you’re loved and worthy!

You wont shift back here unless you want to. Something that can maybe help you with that fear is just scripting “I wont shift back to my cr unless I want to”.

I think the reason we “fail” is because we’ve decided we failed. When you wake up in your cr after an attempt you instantly start questioning where you went wrong. One thing you can do is just decide “nope. I shifted.” Doesn’t matter if you woke up here!

I would just say to persist in the assumption that you’re a master shifter and always wake up in your desired reality. Everytime you have a negative thought just remind yourself you already shifted lol who cares about this negative thought???

I found that law of assumption has really helped me so here are some notes from my journal that I think could be useful for you (most of these are from tumblr so credits to the people who said these first but I just wrote them in my journal to remind me):

1. If you do not accept you failed, then you did not fail.

2. All realities are equal!

3. The less you feed the ego, the weaker it gets

4. We overcomplicate things because ego wants to understand so badly but self already understands everything.

Again credits to the blogs who said all this first, I’m sorry I don’t have the names but I just had these written in my journal because I found them helpful!

I hope there’s something in here you found helpful. I wish you nothing but success on your journey:)

[nattyluvs]

PINK ROSES - chapter 12

felix paces around his living room, double checking every single little thing, nervous out of hid mind.

he didnt even understand, this isnt even thag serious? people came to his house as a child all the time, a few playdates, cousins, family friends, though it was never a girl, or rather, a girl he was starting to like.

he proceeded to walk towards fhe bathroom mirror to check his appearance one more time until he heard the doorbell's ringing. straightening out his shirt a little, he went to go answer the door.

standing at the door was yn, with her outfit a little more comfortable than usual, also sith a backpack strapped to her back. "looking beautiful as always" was in the back of his mind.

"hi yn..um you can put your bag anywhere, but dont take your shoes off because we're going somewhere." he said, gesturing for her to walk a little further into the house.

"oh, okay! where are we going?" she asked, setting her bag down by couch. she took another glance around the apartment-like place, tidy and clean.

"better than my dorm atleast." she thought before turning to felix while he started talking.

"ah, actually i was hoping we could bake some cookies if you dont mind. i need some ingredients though so we have to go to the store." felix spoke, voice muffled a bit due to looking through cabinets.

they walked side by side to the grocery store a few blocks away. it was a little chilly, and they probably could've gone to the campus store but its 10x more expensive.

"i didnt think it was gonna be this cold.." yn suddenly confessed, rubbing her arms a little.

"here,"

felix reached into his pocket and put his hand into hers, handing her two hand warmers.

"i was going to use them when i got cold, but you need them more. it wouldnt be nice to let my guest be cold now would it?" he turned to her and smiled

"right, thank you."

they arrived shortly at the grocery sotre, scanning through the isles and grabbing all sorts of stuff, chocolate chips, sugar, flour.

about to turn into another isle, yn stopped to look at a certain isle corner.

"look they have flowers, im totally gonna buy a bouquet." she pointed out, grabbing the boquet of pink roses on the stand.

"pink roses are my favorite too, actually." felix confessed out of nowhere, making yn smile a bit. he offered to carry the roses for her as they headed into another isle.

hearing a notification from her phons, yn pulled it out of her pant pocket and starting to type.

distracted by her phone, walking and texting had her accidently bump into somebody, making her phone go flying.

hazardly she went to pick up the phone, no damage being done thankfully. she turned to the person bumped into snd gave a quick apology.

"ah, im sorry about tha-huh? taehyun?" suddenly suprised at the man stood infront of her was someone she knew.

"yn? i havent seen you in so long, how are you doing?" taehyun spoke, equally suprised to see someone familar.

their conversation peaked felixs intrest, suddenly not so interested in the types of sugar infront of him.

seeing them talk so openly and freely made him..envious. not jealous, envious. he wished him ans yn could talk so comfortably that way one day.

wait..what? felix never even stopped to wonder why they even know eachother. he was caught up in his thoughts until he heard yns voice talking to jim again.

"sorry felix, we got caught up talking abit, this is taehyun, he goes to witney high with niki, beomgyu, and them you know?" felix failed to notice the way taehyun's eyes lit up at the mention of a certain someone.

"ohh, i see nice to meet you taehyun."

"nice to meet you too felix, so, you guys go to the university across the way?"

"yup" yn responded "were just hanging out you know? wanna relax a little before a bunch of hard studying comes."

"i see, goodluck on your test, study hard."

felix nodded a little, and then started to emternally panic when taehyun leaned down to whisper something in yn's ear. he couldnt figure out what he was saying, or what yn's response was, but he decided not to make anything of it.

after a little more talking, taehyun left while yn and felix left aswell.

on the walk back, felix was entirely confused. were they dating? no, they didnt even kiss and were to awkward with eachother. and what did he even say to her? its not like he could ask, that would just be nosy.

suddenly starting to drop the silence, felix began to speak

"you know, we carry around flowers snd groceries while we walk together people will think we are married." felix's inner thoughts that should have never been said aloud was spoken.

"i hope we do."

"what?"

"nothing, with how old you look people will think youre my dad."

"excuse you? i dont even look that old, youre just playing with me!"

"are you doing anything this weekend?" yn asked, curious as to whether she could stay a bit in the morning or leave as soon as she wakes up.

"not really, i have an audition and an interview for a dance position though" felix said, taking the last batch of cookies out the oven.

"speaking of that, i have something to ask you, and i might aswell ask you since you're here."

yn turned her head, curious to what he could possibly ask related to an interview. she didnt have experience in that kind of thing.

"do..you know how to tie a tie." felix softly spoke, head looking doen in shame.

yn burst out in laughter, "thats it? you dont know how to tie a tie??"

"stop, its not funny, i just never got taught how, my mom always did it for me."

"good thing i happen to know how, put the shirt on so you dont have to put the tie on seperately."

felix nodded, walking away into his room to change into his interview outfit. slowly but surely, he walked out with some nice clothes on and the untied-tie in hand.

"why do you need to dress up for a dancer interview anyway?"

"hey, i may be applying to be a dancer, but its still like a big company, i have to make the impression." felix spoke, handing her the tie.

"makes sense"

she walked closer to where he was standing, tir in hand. she proceeded to wrap the tie under his collar, not realizing how close they were.

after the tie was finished, they both slowly looked up at eachother. felix's eyes couldnt focus on one spot. hn was unable to look away, his gaze capturing her. they stared at eachother so long she couldve counted all his freckles. they finally pulled away after awhile,

"sorry, i zoned out." "me too, dont worry about it."

"hey, i have a spare bed but theres only hardwood floor in here, ur gonna have to sleep in my room."

"no its fine! the hardwood floor isnt gonna be that bad."

"no, you might have back pain in the morning and itll be my fault, here its already set up in my room"

inside felixs room was his bed, with the set up bed on the floor next to it, yn went to the bathroom to put on some pajamas, shortly coming back to lay in the bed.

she sat there on her phone a bit, while felix was turning the lights off and locking the doors.

shortly, he came back to set the phone down on the bed, while starting to strip of his clothes.

"woah, im still in here you know."

"im only taking my shirt off i promise, i cannot sleep with one on."

she wasnt very curious until she took a little perk from her phone screen, seeing felix and his defined abs standing infront of the bed. god damn, holy shit, does this man work out for a living? he cant even carry bags of groceries??

letting those thoughts fly away for now, she put her phone to charge as felix turned the lights off.

"goodnight yn"

"goodnight, lixie"

previous masterlist next

a/n: theyre cute i hope they break up, also sorry for any errors i didnt proofread because im embarassed

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[shallanigans]

oooh im so glad u watched dbd! yeah so charles, in the comics, is canon bisexual. he's also, in the show, a teen boy who died in the 80s. which. the AIDS crisis. the first person to die of AIDS in england did so in 1981. take that, and then pair it up with his reaction to edwin's confession, particularly what he says.

hes not closing the door to edwin or this opportunity--what he is doing, is saying that they have the rest of forever to figure this out. he's not wrong. he just needs for the two of them to be able to reach that forever first, and to do that they need to run up the stairs and away from the doll spider demon.

i think, for charles, who is so devoted to edwin, and clearly loves him above all else, the answer he gave was perfect--he cant say hes in love with edwin back, so he doesnt. he cant say hes in love with edwin back, because he doesnt know! as a bi person, ill say this. in my experience, there have been a few times, where there have been moments of, i dont know yet. and obviously that is not everyone's experience, and im not even saying that is charles' experience! but he loves edwin so much, and he wants to figure out if he loves edwin in a romantic way too--and to do that, he needs to think about it, and again, he cant do that on a stairway to hell running from a demon. perhaps, its even more than that--perhaps, he wants to figure out if he can. has he thought about his sexuality before? has he ever been attracted to a boy before? has he ever consciously been? maybe these are things he needs to think about. he likes girls, check. maybe he likes boys too? he's a detective, he'll figure it out.

i do think that expecting a love confession reciprocation (which we did get, it was just not a romantic one, and even then, it wasnt shut down forever) right away, and then not getting it, was not necessarily bad thing. ultimately, dbd is a story, a tv show, there are characters and then there is development--there is build up. so to not get that confession, it makes sense storytelling wise. because we havent gotten to see charles come to terms with his sexuality, or even think much about it (consciously), beyond being attracted to crytsal. (and. all those longing yearning loving looks directed at edwin lbr) we get to see edwin come to terms with his sexuality in s1. he was repressing pretty hard and wasnt even aware he was in love with charles. so, in the hopes we get a s2, maybe we'll find ourselves with a charles having an oh moment scene. id kill for that

I would absolutely love to see this, and I know in the show the love confession wasn't explicitly a shutdown. However, based on Edwin's comments to Niko that "it made us better friends"/that Charles didn't feel the same, and also based on comments from the showrunners about how they wanted to focus on the platonic friendship between them, I am not so optimistic.

In the case that it does happen, I'm frankly not looking forward to a several-season love triangle between Crystal, Edwin and Charles. Of course, I understand Charles not reciprocating Edwin's feelings immediately (and especially not in that setting). However, I really don't care for his romance with Crystal because I feel they have no chemistry. It annoyed me that Charles pretty much put the whole thing out of his mind afterwards and went back to wanting to be with Crystal for no real reason other than she's a girl who was a good friend to him. I understand that TV shows work like this, but I'm tired of love triangles in general. If Charles and Edwin don't get together (or at least Charles doesn't address Edwin's confession in some manner) in season 2 I probably won't be watching it. I've seen too many teen shows drag on with unnecessary romance drama between people who have no chemistry, and I don't want another one to add to the list.