#but i did progress a lot and might finish today so its ok....yes

[enden-k]

me @ myself: no art until you caught up w event, we need to stay strong 💪

me the same day:

ok but what if NOW is the perfect time to draw this hkvthm modern au idea i had in mind for months now—

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression - Niconama Vol:6 - ASMR (Free section)

Part 1

K: Hey, good evening. Here we are live with The Freedom of Expression on our Niconico channel. I'm Kaoru from Dir en grey.

J: Good evening, I'm Joe Yokomizo, pleased to be here.

T: I'm Tasai from Tokyo Sports. Great to be here.

Kami: I'm here too!

J: Ohh!

T: Kami!

Kami: Its been a while.

J, T: It has!

J: Are you well?

Kami: Yes, I'm well. Glad to be here.

J: I can't tell whether he's actually ok or not from his tone, haha.

T: Yeah, haha.

Kami: No no, I'm well.

J: You are? Oh, there are comments saying, 'Kami, long time no see!'

T: 'Kami!', 'Its Kami!'

Kami: Thank you.

J: Kami, you are popular.

K: Well, recently we've only been doing the type of stuff where Kami has no chance to join in.

T: Thats right, haha.

J: Yeh, sorry, Kami, we've been leaving you out.

Kami: You've been leaving me out of your plans?!

J: Well, its more that your turn just never came, haha. Can you forgive us? We didn't mean any harm.

Kami: Ok, I understand.

J: Leader, are you in tiger mode from the start today?

K: Tiger? This is leopard print.

J: Oh, leopard? haha. I thought it was something like that. I was wrong?

K: Yeh, haha.

J: Ok, so lets get on with this. Leader, its been 6 months already since we started at niconama. Hows it been for you this past 6 months?

K: Well, the atmosphere is totally different from what it was like in our old studio.

J: Yeh, it is, isn't it?

K: In that place it was pretty agonising trying to get set up before recording.

J, T: Haha

K: It was always just those old guys getting angry 'cause the equipment wouldn't work and stuff..

J: Yeh, they had a lot of trouble, right?

K: Yeh, and we would be bored by time we got started, and it was kinda bright.

J: Yeh.

K: You know, just recently I was in that old studio doing some recording for my blog, and it was dark!

J: Haha, did you imagine doing TFOE there?

T: Did it bring back memories? Haha.

K: Its dark, and too bright, we were bored, we could hear weird voices from outside the building..

T: Haha

J: Like, 'Oiiiiy!'

K: Yeh.

J: Ahh, ??? Well, this studio is much nicer, and the staff know exactly what they're doing. I mean, its been six months, so are there any things you think you'd like to try from now on, Leader?

K: Hmm, yeh. I kinda wanna go and broadcast on location somewhere.

T: Ah, yeh.

J: Can that be done? Live on location? It seems like it might be difficult.

T: Yeh, it might be quite hard.

J: The staff are looking a bit stirred.

T: They are looking at you like, 'Its impossible, Joe!'

J: Haha

K: Yeh, it might not work if we don't have the right environment.

J: Yeh, it might be difficult. Well, if anyone has any suggestions of things you'd like us to do, please leave a comment. As we are live today, we'll be picking up your comments as we go. You can leave questions, messages, or things you'd like Kaoru to talk about, anything is ok. You can also tweet comments using the hashtag TFOE. So, before we get started, we'll just touch on some recent news that Dir en grey fans will be happy about of late. The first news is the announcement of the album release date! *applause* As you know, everyone, the album is named Phalaris, and will be released on the 15th of June! *applause* So, Leader, how is the production coming along?

K: Well, its going.

T: Ohh, does this mean you have a bit more breathing space now?

K: Well, we are progressing.

J: You're progressing? Its not finshed yet?

K: No, its not finished yet. We are not that far yet.

J: People are saying they reserved it.

K: The members are all working on it now.

J: Oh? Someone asked, 'Are you ahead?'

K: Hm, no, I wouldn't say that, haha. We are just  on course.

J: You're progressing as normal for Dir en grey?

K: Well, the staff might be panicking a bit.

J: Haha

K: There's a load of stuff to manage at the studio, which must be tough...like for the engineer, and people...but as for the members..well, we are doing our parts as normal.

Kami: What percentage have you finshed so far?

J: Ah, Kami, thats a good question.

K: As for percentage.....probably about 30%.

J: Eh?! No way!

T: 30%?! haha

J: But the release is the 15th of June, right?

K: Yeh.

J: And today is March...27th? Right? Only three more months!

K: Thats right.

J: Is that ok??

K: *shrugs* Its ok, isn't it? 

J, T: Ohhh

T: I can't tell, haha.

J: Yeh, I don't know if its ok or not, haha. There are lots of shocked comments saying 'Only 30%! Is it ok??'

K: If it wasn't ok, I wouldn't be here doing this show, right?

T: Yeh, I was worried about that, haha. I thought you might say you couldn't come today.

K: Well, its not really like that, there are certain things that we can only do with staff, so in that sense, today is quite an important day.

J: Ahh. Well, since you actually came here, lets have a blast.

K: Well, we've been here recording since about lunch time, right? So, I was doing what I could before that, and then after I finish here, I'll go back and do some more.

T: Oh, thats hard.

J: It is hard, yeh. By the way, can you tell us how many songs will be on the album?

K: No, I'm not saying anything.

J: Nothing? Guys, you'll just have to look forward to it. Uh, reservations are now open for the album with special benefits, we did have some people saying earlier that they already reserved it, but please check that out everyone. So, in addition to this, there will also be a nationwide tour from June! *applause* But regardless, for now you are just working on the album, right?

K: Yes, but as for the tour, there are some areas we havn't been to in a while too, so it will be good.

J: Ah, lots of applause in the comments. Everyone is looking forward to that. Ah, someone saying they are going to 6 shows!

T: Amazing!

J: They are so enthusiastic! 'I applied for the tour!'...'The tour starts before the album is out', haha, yeh...Ah, also someone saying 'Niigata, at long last!', 'I'm excited for the album and the tour'...'I hope I get tickets!'..Ah, lots of comments like this, thank you! And on top of that news, in a few days time, on the 30th of March, the DVD titled Average Psycho 3 will be released! Congratulations! *applause* This one is all ready to be released, of course, yeh?

K: Haha, of course! If it wasn't I think we might have pushed the release date back!

J: Yeh, if you'd had said its like 70% done, I'd be likd 'Ehhh?!', haha

K: Haha, no, its ready.

J: Its ready to go on sale, so have you all reserved it? Thats Average Psycho 3, on sale really soon. Please look forward to it. Now, now, as for today's show, the staff have been giving us lots of ideas to try up to now, and they have a great one for us today...A first experience for Kaoru, playing with a dummy head microphone! *applause* You can see this surreal object on screen now, its the dummy head. Did you know about this type of thing, Kaoru?

K: Yeh

T: Did you??

K: Yeh, its used as recording equipment.

J: Oh, really?

K: We thought about using it once quite a long time ago, and borrowed one.

J: Oh, right.

T: But you didn't end up using it?

K: I don't think we did, yeh.

J: What, did it look the same as this one?

K: Yeh.

T: It looks like a Moai face

J: Yeh. Tasai, did you know about these?

T: No, I've never heard of a dummy head. I had no idea what it was.

J: Yeh, when I looked at the script, I had no clue what dummy head was. Tasai, you said 'maybe its a dummy fart', didn't you? (*dummy no he* = dummy fart)

T: I did not! Why are you trying to make me look the fool! haha

K: But thats what it seems like if you just look at the letters, right? (*ダミーへ/dummy he*)

J: Yeah, it makes more sense when you actually look at the thing, I'll just give a quick explanation about it, for the viewers. The name 'Dummy he' refers to 'Dummy head mic'. Voice actors use these for whispered lines, or chewing noises, and for ASMR effect. If you use headphones or earphones to listen, you really get the realistic sensation of being close by. So, viewers of todays show, should get their headphones ready. If you do that, you will be able to enjoy the show all the more. And Kaoru will say some of the lines that you have sent in of things you wanted him to say into the mic. He'll be saying the type of things you'd never normally hear him say, and you can listen with your headphones. Its a stunning idea, right?

T: Its amazing. They really like this.

J: What do you think of this idea, Kaoru? It seems fun, right?

K: Well, they asked me about it last time, so I said I thought we could give it a try. I didn't really know what it was going to be like though back then. Haha!

J: Haha, you were just agreeing to be polite!

T: Yeh, look at the comnents, they are stunned!

J: He'll be saying stuff he never normally says, right in your ear! Can you believe it?

K: Well, you don't KNOW that I never say this type of thing, right?

J: Yeh, maybe you do say this stuff, they just think you don't.

K: Haha.

J: You might be full of it really!

K: Hahaha!

T: Yeah, like when talking with the other members, or something.

J: Yeah, haha. But at least its the type of stuff you never say around us. Thats the type of stuff, he'll be saying today. Ah, there are some people who have never heard of ASMR?

T: Kaoru, have you heard of it?

K: No, I've never heard of it.

J: It seems like a lot of people don't know.

T: But if you search online for it, a lot of results come up for this...stuff about how it feels nice, and things.

Part 2

[athela-3]

crushing defeat

1.7k words; gen/comedy; hints of shipping if you blink, look here, and look away again; if everyone gives aspec vibes that’s my bad, I have no idea how allos work; 3 am nonsense is practically its own genre; mild language (canon-typical); no content warnings.

Yuki’s never had a crush before. Normally that’s not a problem, but now that he really needs to know what it’s like, nobody else in Mankai can seem to give him a straight answer. And what does cake have to do with anything?

“You. Elite Swindler. What's it like to have a crush?”

Itaru looks up from his phone and finds himself face-to-face with Yuki's inquisitive eyes. “Um.” He blinks, stalling for time while he forces his brain to take a U-turn from his game. “Why do you ask?”

Yuki sighs, swatting aside a strand of hair and tucking it behind his ear. “My character's supposed to be in love, but no matter how many times I try saying my lines it never sounds right. The Director said I should try asking around to get an idea what it's supposed to feel like, and you're sitting right here. So are you going to tell me or not?”

“Huh.” Well, that sounds like something she would do, Itaru concedes. He sits up, placing his phone face down on the sofa next to him. “If I have to describe it, I'd say it's inconvenient. Just because you like someone doesn't mean you'd like liking them. It's kind of like pulling a gacha and getting an SSR. If it's your favourite character, cool, but if it's a character you don't like and you already have three other copies of the exact same card, and now you have to grind all over again… not cool.”

Yuki rolls his eyes, and for a second Itaru thinks he's about to be on the business end of his trademark sarcastic zingers again. “But what is it like? It can't be as sappy as it looks like in Muku's manga.” Beat. Slowly, with dread creeping into his voice: “Is it?”

Itaru opens his mouth to answer, only for a better idea to spring into mind. He cranes his head to look into the kitchen, where Homare is nursing a cup of some fragrant tea blend with a complicated, bougie name. “Hey, Homare? How would you describe the feeling of falling in love?”

There's a brief pause, filled only with Yuki's wide-eyed Oh-No-You-Didn't stare, which Itaru diligently avoids. Then Homare places his teacup on the saucer with a gentle plink and replies, with the absolute certainty of an astronomer looking at the night sky: “Devotion astride with every doki doki… a sugary somnambulism, nefelibata's mazurka of watchfulness, feather-light fingertips painting patient litanies!”

“Exactly.” Itaru grins. “See? It's not that hard.”

Yuki's expression is flat, but Itaru thinks he can see the gears turning inside his head. Eventually he sighs. “Fine. You've made your point.”

“Look, that's all I've got,” Itaru shrugs. “Besides, why don't you ask someone who definitely knows what it's like? Have you tried asking Muku?”

“Duh. He tried to hand me a bunch of romance manga for reference. But that's fiction. If I want my acting to be realistic, I need to look at real life examples.”

“Why not ask Masumi then?”

“And listen to him babble about the Director for the next three hours?”

“Mm. Kazunari?”

“I'm not an idiot. I already asked everyone in my troupe.”

“Tsumugi?”

“I would, but he's not home. Tasuku says he's out tutoring. And before you start, I already asked the Muscle Freak. He mumbled something about high expectations and ran off.”

“Citron?”

“You've got to be kidding me.”

“Taichi?”

“The Dumb Dog? That's… a good idea. Plus I needed to check on his sewing anyway, he's supposed to finish them this—”

“Yo, Taruchi, where are you? Don't just go AFK on me like that!”

They turn to see Banri emerging from the stairwell, phone in hand and an annoyed look in his face. Itaru waves him over at once, relieved to find a potential back-up partner. “Banri! You gotta help me out, man. I need you to describe what having a crush is like.”

Banri stares slack-jawed, caught totally off-guard. “A crush? It's distracting, that's what. I mean, they're all you can think about, right? No matter what you're doing or where you go, you just keep thinkin' about 'em.”

Itaru snaps his fingers. “Right! And you know you've got it bad when you keep finding excuses to be around them. Or when you do weird stuff to get their attention, like giving them things or teasing them or picking fights with them—”

“Why would you pick a fight with someone you like?” Yuki squints, thoroughly unimpressed. “You can't expect them to fight with you and then magically like you back afterwards. That's just stupid.”

“Well,” Itaru grins, “it is.”

“Ah, but such is love!” rejoins Homare, his sentence punctuated by a neat clink as he places his drained teacup in the sink. “Even the greatest of geniuses are fools when it comes to love. Perhaps I should write a poem about that… the overripe ache of tenderness, rotting one's mind even as it enriches the soul…”

Banri shakes his head sharply. “Yeah, whatever. Just get the interrogation done with so we can start the next match.” With that, he marches off into the kitchen, brushing past Homare without a word to fetch a glass of water.

As the poet leaves, still murmuring fancy thesaurus words under his breath, Itaru turns to Yuki and raises his eyebrows. “So? Think you got a better idea now?”

“A little,” Yuki admits. “You're not so useless after all.”

“Huh. I don't know what I expected. Guess I'll take what I can get.”

At that moment, the front door swings open, and in walks Juza, carrying a bag full of groceries in each hand. Behind him is the Director, bearing an identical bag in her arms and pulling the door shut behind her with her foot. “We're home!” she shouts.

“Welcome home, Director, Juza. Whoa, that's a lot of loot today.”

She laughs. “Turned out there was a sale, and since it's important that we save money I thought we might as well stock up ahead. I was lucky Juza came along to help, otherwise I couldn't have carried all of this back alone.”

While she stops by to talk, Juza keeps heading for the kitchen to unpack his groceries, only stopping when he realises his roommate is blocking the way. When it becomes apparent Banri has no intention to step aside, a scowl clouds over his face. “Move.”

A corner of Banri's mouth quirks upward. “Or what? You can't touch me, your hands are full.”

“Don't have to. You can stand there if you want, but the Director won't like it.”

Begrudgingly, Banri inches aside just enough for Juza to squeeze through. When he sees the topmost layer of groceries, he makes a small wolf-whistle. “Three bottles of strawberry milk? What d'you think this is, Hyodo, a damn onsen?”

“Ya gonna stand there babblin', or ya gonna make yourself useful?”

“Nah, I'm good.”

“Oh, Banri? Since you're already in the kitchen, and you're not doing anything,” the Director chimes in, industrial-grade cheerfulness dripping from her every word, “why don't you help me make dinner?”

Itaru snorts. “Curry duty? Ouch. I'll press F for you later.”

“Actually, tonight is sweet and sour pork. I got a deal on bell peppers, but they have to be eaten quickly,” she tells him, before calling out to Banri: “You can start by washing and chopping them, by the way.”

“The Currian chooses not to make curry?” If Yuki's eyebrows rose any higher, they'd completely disappear behind his fringe. “Did you hit your head on the door coming in?”

“I'm sorry, we can have curry tomorrow if that's what you want,” the Director smiles sweetly, and Itaru wonders if this is what she's like in the office. He tries picturing her giving instructions to her juniors and suggestions to her superiors, all in that inhumanly saccharine tone of voice. The mental image alone gives him the chills. “Oh! How's your role study, Yuki?”

“Eh, it's a work in progress.” He pauses, eyeing her with a slight squint. Oh, no, Itaru thinks, here we go again. “But now that you're here, why don't you tell me what you think a crush is like?”

“Me? I haven't had a crush since…” her voice trails off. She walks to the kitchen, places her groceries on the counter, and starts unpacking them alongside Juza. “I don't remember. What I do remember is that when you've fallen in love with someone, you want them to be happy. You remember the little things they like and don't like, because there's no feeling like seeing them smile and knowing it's because of you, or something you did. If they're happy, you're happy. But if they're upset about something, then you feel bad too, even if it wasn't your fault.”

Yuki hums a wordless acknowledgement, face scrunched in thought. “And you?”

Silence. After a few seconds, Juza looks up from the cabinet he is currently stuffing with raw pasta. “…Me?”

“Yeah, dumbass. Who else?” Banri snorts. “Oi, gimme the pineapple. I can't find it in this mess.”

“Didn't get any.”

“What, so we're making sweet and sour pork without pineapple? Who eats sweet and sour pork without—” Realisation dawns in his eyes. He blinks, as if startled, glances at the Director, and looks away again. “Oh. Huh. Well, that's interesting.”

“Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Settsu?”

“None of your business. Now answer the damn question already so we can cook in peace.”

“We ain't cooking, you are,” Juza points out. “An' I dunno.”

“You don't know?” Yuki presses impatiently. “Or you're not telling?”

“Dunno. Never had a crush.”

“Tch. Of course you've never liked anyone. All you like is cake.”

Itaru nods comprehendingly, shooting up in his seat. ”Banri's got a point, you know, the cake does kind of give it away. Bet you also like dragons.”

“Wait,” Yuki interjects, “what's cake got to do with anything?”

“You don't know?” Itaru twists to face the boy completely. “Aw, man. I thought you of all people would know. Do you like cake?”

“What does it matter?”

“C'mon, it's just a yes or no question!”

“They're OK? I'm not that big on sweets, but I like the really pretty cakes. Especially the ones with edible flowers on top.”

“The real question is,” Banri looks up from the cutting board and points the knife at Yuki, “would you rather fall in love or eat cake?”

“What kinda stupid question is that?” Juza mutters, still playing grocery Tetris with the cabinet and therefore completely missing the death glare Banri sends his way.

“Shut your cakehole, nobody asked you.”

Yuki's brows furrow, and Itaru notices his eyes flickering to Juza before he settles on a reply. “If I had to choose, I guess I'd choose cake. Having a crush sounds so exhausting. Besides, I know what cake's like, so I know what I'm getting myself into.”

Itaru claps his hands together, triumphant. “See? Congratulations, you're Team Cake! Don't worry about the dragons, we'll get there when you’re ready.”

“But what does any of it have to do with—you know what, forget it.” Yuki throws his hands into the air, mere millimetres away from clocking Itaru's head. “I should've asked someone who knows what they're talking about. You guys are hopeless.” With that, he turns on his heels and makes his exit, presumably off to interview the next hapless sap to cross his path.

“Good luck!” the Director calls out.

Itaru shakes his head. “And here I thought we'd get more affinity points than that,” he mutters. “Talk about being hard to please.”

“Don't blame him, it is a tough subject to crack,” she points out. “Oh, does that mean you're free right now? In that case, can you please make some rice while I get the pork ready?”

“Welp. Is this a mandatory quest?” She nods, and he sighs, slowly stretching to his feet and pocketing his phone. “All right. But you owe me cake. All this talk's got me craving a slice.”

“I'll grab you some tomorrow, how's that sound?”

Banri's head snaps up again. “Hey, if he gets cake for helping, then how come I don't?”

“You don't even like cake,” Juza grumbles.

“I’m just sayin’, it ain’t fair. And don’t pretend you don’t want some.”

She reaches past them to grab the packet of pork on the table and laughs. “All you had to do was ask. You know what? I'll get you cake. Both of you.” She pauses to scratch her chin. “Come to think about it, maybe I should just get a nice big cake for everyone to share. I've got a feeling we're all gonna need it come tomorrow.”

[starryknight09]

That’s not how Ironman goes out

Febuwhump Day 7: poisoning

Read on AO3.

________________________________________________________

Peter pulled his grey hoodie on, practically bouncing on his feet as he finished dressing.  Today was going to be the best day.  He was headed over to Ned’s this morning to work on the new Star Wars Lego set his friend had gotten for his birthday last week, and then he had plans to take MJ out to a new Mexican-Korean fusion restaurant she’d been talking about ever since it opened last month.  They’d been together for almost three months now and he still loved seeing the look on her face whenever he surprised her.

“Peter can you come here for a minute?” Aunt May called from the living room.

“Yeah!” He answered, not thinking anything of it.  He shoved his wallet in his back pocket and toed on his shoes, checking his phone for any messages before pocketing it as well.

He made a detour to the kitchen to grab an apple out of the bowl on the counter, enjoying the crunch of it as he took a huge bite before turning to find May sitting on the couch across the room.

“What’s up?” He asked, barely understandable, around a mouthful of apple.

“Come here.” May patted the couch cushion next to her.  The oddness of the invitation made him stop and focus.  He noticed a characteristic crinkling in the corner of May’s eyes, something she only did when she was worried and trying to hide it.  It was an expression he’d seen more than a few times ever since she’d discovered his vigilante identity.

“What’s wrong?” He moved to stand in front of her.

“Sit down honey.”

“No, I’m good.  I have to get going to Ned’s soon or I’m going to be late.  I promised I’d be there by noon.” He said, checking his watch for show.  The way May was acting made him want to escape.  Made him afraid.

“I need you to sit down.” May patted the space next to her again.

He had the irrational urge to whine, ‘I don’t want to.’  To stamp his feet and refuse.  Because no good news ever came from scenarios like this.  But instead of refusing, he forced his knees to bend and hesitantly sat down next to his aunt.

May reached out to hold his hands.  “Honey, I have to tell you something.”

His heart started racing.  “May, you’re scaring me.”

“You know how Tony had that fundraiser last night?”

He nodded.  Tony had invited him, but it was a stuffy black-tie event, which wasn’t really his thing, and Peter had already had a readymade excuse not to go.  He’d made plans with MJ and hadn’t wanted to disappoint her by cancelling.  Tony hadn’t minded because Peter was heading up to the cabin tomorrow to spend the weekend with him where there wouldn’t be a bunch of uptight old people milling around.

“Well,” May continued, “we’re not sure how it happened yet, but somehow someone managed to slip something into Tony’s drink.”

His stomach dropped out of his body.  No.

“Is he dead?” His voice trembled, afraid to hear the answer.  Afraid that the reason May had positioned him here was to deliver the news that his last remaining father figure was gone.

“No honey.” May reassured him and his eyes closed as he let out a sharp breath of relief.  She squeezed his hands.  “But he’s very sick, and they’re doing everything they can, but we just don’t know yet what’s going to happen.”

He bit his lower lip to keep it from quivering as tears welled up in his eyes.  This couldn’t be happening.

“Why would someone do this?” He managed to choke out the question.

“Oh honey.” May tugged him forward into a hug.  “I know.  It doesn’t make any sense.  They think it was someone from that ridiculous group.”

Peter clenched his jaw.  He knew exactly what group she was talking about.  After Tony had saved everyone, and almost died in the process, a group of zealots had become vocal about how reversing the snap had set back all the environmental progress Earth had made after losing half its population.  They hated Tony for what he’d done.  They believed life had been better before the reversal because the human race was no longer multiplying at a rate that the Earth couldn’t sustain.  Apparently, there’d been less hunger.  Less pollution.  Less war.  But infinitely more heart ache.  Peter didn’t think any of the other stuff even came close to canceling that out.

“I think we should go see him.” May suggested, rubbing his back as she held him and the tears slid down his cheeks.  “Just in case.”

In case he died.  The words went unvoiced.  The very thought that it was even a possibility made him want to scream.  Because of some hate group.  He should’ve gone to that party.  Maybe he would’ve sensed something.  Maybe his ‘Peter tingle’ would’ve caught on.  But no, he’d chosen to hang out with MJ instead.  

“Yeah.” He said, trying to get a handle on his emotions.  “Let’s go.”

“Ok.” May gave him another tight squeeze before releasing him.  “He’s at the compound.  I’ll drive.”

It’d taken months, but they’d rebuilt the compound, like some sort of symbol, bigger and better, in the same place where it’d been desecrated.  Peter usually felt some amount of awe whenever he drove up to it, but not today.  A numbness had descended upon him ever since he’d gotten in the car.  It was as if he couldn’t process any more emotion, good or bad, until he knew if Tony would be ok.  Like a kind of limbo.

The clop of his sneakers on the immaculately polished floors echoed ominously throughout the silent halls. May had tried to throw her arm over his shoulders in support on the walk in but he’d shrugged it off.  Even though he desired the comfort, he hadn’t wanted to be seen as weak by any other Avengers they might encounter.  They already looked at him like a child.

He and May rounded the corner and Peter stopped up short.  Tony’s door was at the end of the hall, and he was almost afraid to cross the remaining distance.  He didn’t want to see him hooked up to machines with wires attached and tubes coming out of him.  Seeing him like that was always hard.  The man was supposed to be larger than life, so anytime something happened where he actually appeared mortal, it was like the cosmic forces were out of sync.

“Come on baby.” May nudged him forward with a hand against his back.

Peter took a deep breath and managed to put one foot in front of the other again.  He could do this.  He had to.  He’d never forgive himself if he didn’t see Tony and something happened.  When they got to his door, Peter paused again, but he forced his hand to grip the door handle and twist it open.

“Hey kid!” Tony greeted him cheerily, sitting up in bed and not looking at all close to death.

Peter froze, not quite believing his eyes.  His gaze shot over to May, wondering if this had all been some sort of cruel trick, but she looked equally shocked.  His eyes darted back to Tony, afraid to believe it.  But the man seemed fine.  Maybe a little drawn and tired but not on death’s door like he’d been led to believe.

He took a halting step forward, not quite ready to trust it, and worried that too much hope might shatter the mirage in front of him.  

“What’s wrong Pete?” Tony frowned.

“You…you’re ok?” He asked, taking another step forward.

“Yeah I’m fine.” Tony held an arm out towards him, encouraging him to come closer.

Peter hurried over to him, grabbing Tony’s arm once he got close enough.  He was real, solid and warm

“You’re ok.” He repeated as if in affirmation.

“That’s what I said.  Try to keep up kid.” Tony smirked at him, and Peter felt his resolve crumble.  Relieved sobs bubbled up and out of him, shaking his frame.

“Shit.  Come here.” Tony pulled him into a comforting hug.  “I’m fine.  I promise I’m fine.”

A minute later Peter heard the familiar click of heels enter the room behind him, but he didn’t lift his head, still working on regaining his composure.

“Oh.” He heard Pepper say in surprise.  “Oh May.  I’m sorry.  I forgot to call you back.  As soon as I got off the phone with you Bruce figured out the antidote and an hour later Tony was fine.  I can’t believe I forgot to let you know.  I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok.  I’m sure you had a lot on your mind.” May reassured her.

“Still, that’s no excuse.  Oh sweetie I’m sorry I scared you.  It was touch and go there for awhile but Tony’s going to be fine.” Pepper placed her hand on his back.  He really didn’t want her to feel bad.  He tried to pull himself together.  Tony was perfectly fine.  He wasn’t going to die.  

Peter took a deep breath and pulled away, wiping his eyes as he sniffled.

“Sorry.  I didn’t mean to fall apart.” He gave them a tight smile.  “I just—  Well, we thought you were dying.”

“Dying?  You told them I was dying?” Tony threw an accusatory look at Pepper.

She crossed her arms and raised her voice, “We thought you were dying.”

“Pfft.  It’d take more than some crazy zealot to take me out.  Don’t you know me at all honey?”

Pepper rolled her eyes.

“I mean seriously, poison?  That’s not how Ironman goes out.” Tony shook his head and then looked at him with a smirk.  “Right?”

“Right.” He agreed with a nod.

“If anything, it’ll be in a blaze of glory.”

It took every ounce of Peter’s being to not think about Thanos and Tony snapping the gauntlet, coming as close as anyone could to death.

“Yes, at the rate you’re going, you will probably blow yourself up someday.” Pepper deadpanned.

“Hey!” Tony said indignantly.  Peter couldn’t help it.  He snorted out a small laugh, the numbness and fear inside him finally melting away.

“No,” May smiled, joining in the fun, “it’s going to be—”

“Old age.” Peter interrupted, not wanting to think of any other possibility at the moment, not even in jest.

They all quieted down, and Tony looked at him, a soft smile on his face and eyes alive and twinkling.  “Yeah. Old age.  That could work.”

[bearpillowmonster]

FF6 Review (Overall)

I'm going to rate similar to the way I did FF7 Remake, but in only 2 parts, so there will be an overall review then a separate deep dive into the characters.

I played this game using an emulator and I'm not ashamed of it because I used the FF6 Relocalization project which I'll link

Basically nerd talk and explanation of what that means: It's basically a retranslation of the original SNES script using the GBA port as a base and mixing and matching some of the best parts so there you go. They have a way to mod the PC version to have the OG sprite work because sheesh is that thing ugly and they also have a way to resprite and resound the GBA version but this is the easiest and logical solution to get the best of all worlds. There's also "Anthology" which is the PS1 port that adds some CG custscenes which I just watched off of YouTube because it's only a few of the major scenes.

Anyways, yeah, I'm glad I emulated it especially because of the fast forward function. That first chunk would've been rough without it because you're left just waiting for one of your party's commands to be ready but it eases up as the game goes on because you get pretty busy with the combat.

I'm not a fan of turn-based RPGs which was the main reason I haven't touched a 2D FF game until now so this is my first and oh boy, what a first!

Could you just watch a playthrough or read the story then? I wouldn't recommend it. There are certain things that I feel are better experienced.

Gameplay actually wasn't all that gruesome, as I mentioned, it got better thoughout but I know for a fact that I didn't do everything it had to offer because I see other people doing it online and I just had no idea how. That's not to say it's not newcomer friendly though, I mean I beat the game, didn't I? I think it would've just gotten complicated and made me confused if I learned how to do everything in the game anyway.

I found myself liking some of the mechanics and recognizing some of the systems from games as late as today (I'm not sure if this is where they started but I wouldn't be surprised). The random encounters weren't all bad because of the emulator's speed up function but there were definitely times where it felt a little out of hand with the amount I was getting. (I'm looking at you Cave to the Sealed Gate!) So it's all pretty familiar, though there are "Relics" which are kind of like Materia but each member has 2 each where it gives you an ability, f.e. Reflect, every attack hits, extra power, auto cast protect, heal with every step, etc.

One of the drawbacks of using BSNES though was that there was no toggle for a L or R shoulder button, just turbo and while that's not a big problem, that is the button to Flee a battle, so I just never fled. There is an item that lets you escape any dungeon or battle but I didn't really use it, same with the permanent item that Mog has in the cave (pretty late in the game). I'd rather there be a repel than the warp stone, but I figured that if I just fought whenever the opp arrived then I wouldn't have to grind, which is another thing I hate about RPGs! Luckily, I didn't really feel the need to grind other than for the ending.

Difficulty wasn't really a grind but make sure once you get to the floating island, that you know what you're doing because that level was annoying and I felt a very stong spike in difficulty as soon as I landed on it. Another thing is that sometimes it'd glitch and an enemy would have infinite health so I'd just sit there on fast forward, watching and watching then finally use Libra and no damage was made, might be an emulator thing, might be a game thing and although rare, it still happened.

There are these sections called scenarios where the game branches off into multiple different paths and you can choose which order to follow the specific sets of characters. I really like that aspect and makes it seem less linear and interactive because it's letting you choose how to tell the story. I have a thing for games that let me interact with it (That opera scene is pretty interactive too).

For a 2D sprite game, it has quite a personality with its cutscenes. They can be very cinematic and defintely makes the characters just that more engaging with some of their mannerisms.

Ok, I get it now. The music is bomb. If anything, that would be worth doing a remake for, to get orchestral and updated versions of some of the themes. (I'd probably cry at that opera scene) But Celes' theme is probably my favorite. The PC port has pretty good remixes for the most part though.

Could this use a remake? It's a trivial matter because I think a good majority of fans want it to be remade and I understand why but at the same time I understand the other side of the argument as well. This was the last 2D FF game and that's special, in a way, the story kind of reflects that. And I think with all the personality comes a bit of caution because you might see something in these characters or scenes that may be misinterpreted or done differently in a remake, similar to how you read a book and just imagine how it's playing out. I think it lays enough ground so that you don't "have to interpret" like with most NES games (how the Super Mario Movie was born) from an outsider's point of view, it may first seem that way though. (myself included (yes, I know this was SNES era. Shut up!))

What would I want out of a remake? I would want the airship to return and be able to move around freely but keep the towns pretty faithful (which makes for more linear opportunities). I could see Edgar's tools being used similar to Barrett's but we have "First Soldier" now which is a 3PS Battle Royale, why not have his tools play similar to that? Then actually give him story opportunities to pick up his tools rather than "just because you bought them" It would be a nice natural progression. I would suggest the same with Sabin and Cyan, have them learn their Blitz and Bushido moves by being taught by Duncan, you do learn one move from Duncan in the vanilla game but I'd see it as more opportunity to build your characters and make it feel rewarded. So, in those aspects, I would like to see FF6 remade or improved but as for everything else, they should keep it a lot similar to the original than FF7R did. I think that's where a lot of the criticism with FF7R came from (as well as what I mentioned in the previous paragraph) While I'd prefer a gameplay overhaul similar to what they did with R, I'd rather keep the essence. There aren't sequels or spinoffs or anything of this game so this is all it has (unless you count the ports but that's minimal).

In the CHARACTERS section, I compliment the side-quest system but I would like there to be a better indication as to "what" you're doing, rather than just looking up the next steps or be left to travel around until the goal is clear. They have the quest completion menu as well as waypoints in FF7R, I could see that being put to good use in a game like this. It would also be cool to actually "visibly" wear the gear that you equip to your character but I understand why that isn't utilized in most of the games (probably makes for better character models) especially considering most of these characters' costumes could use an update. You didn't get to use the Magitek suits nearly as much as I thought you would from the marketing and even the dang cover and logo, so a remake could improve on that as well. Another small complaint is that it doesn't tell you what the items do WHILE you're in battle, only when you're in the menu, sorting them and while some are staples like Phoenix Down, I still don't remember what the heck a 'Gold Needle' does.

Overall I'd probably rate the FF games that I've played (but maybe not finished all of) as such: FF7 > FF13 > FF6 > CRISIS CORE > FF15 > FF12 but I think 6 and 13 are kind of interchangeable because if you said one over the other, I wouldn't really argue.

[goth-girlfriend]

Endeavor’s Intern

(4/?)

Pairing: Endeavor/Enji Todoroki x Student Reader

Rating: Fluff

Warnings: none?

Notes: Spelling errors? I was going to finish it with this part but decided I’d like to add a bit more before I finish.

💙❤️🖤❤️💙🖤💙❤️🖤❤️💙🖤💙❤️🖤❤️💙

“SHOTO!” I jumped onto his back and clung to him. His hands grabbed my thighs to keep me from falling off his back.

Deku looking shocked, his eyes wide.

“ARE YOU TWO DATING?!” Denki stepped into ask.

I laughed as Shoto seemed unamused, I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my chin on his shoulder.

“What do you think?” I asked and tilted my head.

“Yes?” Denki asked instead of answering.

“...........ok.” I shrugged and moved upwards and tried to get higher.

“So, let’s get to class.” I said still cling to Shoto.

He sighed and started to walk, Deku fell into step on our left, Denki to our right. He was curious that’s for sure.

“Also no, it’s not Shoto I’m dating. He’s just the bestest friend in the whole world!” I squeezed him.

He sighed and bounced to get me higher. Denki didn’t seem impressed or like he believe it.

“So winter break comes up next week. What are you going to be doing?” I asked.

“Spending it with my step mom.” He said keeping a straight face.

“Awe, that’s sweet. I like her, she’s sweet and pretty.” I smiled at him.

“Yeah, Dad never stops talking about her.” He looked back at me.

“Anyways, what about you guys?” I asked the other two.

“I’ll be him with my mom.” Deku answered.

“I’ll be with the fam, you know how it is.” Denki said and sighed with a smile.

“That’s sweet.” I said, we finally stopped at the class door.

“Oof, such a short walk.” I mumbled.

“Because you weren’t walking.” Shoto said rolled his eyes.

“Hehe,” I smield and opened the door, “What are we waiting for?”

We entered the class only three of four people were here. I made my wya to my seat and took a deep breath and sighed. Deku and Denki went to their seats and I was lucky to be beside Shoto.

“So where are we going?” I asked and tilted my head.

“I don’t know, he said it was a surprise. My brother and sister don’t know. I think they would freak out if they figure out his second girlfriend is the same age as his last child.” Shoto whispered back.

“Yeah, So it’s just you me and the big guy?” I asked, I paused and thought, “and Deku?” I I nodded in his direction.

“I was going to ask him until Kaminari showed up. I was just lucky you showed up to break the silence.” He was so serious.

“Oh, well, tomorrow is Friday. Do it then or you never will.” I sighed and pat his shoulder.

“Now I’m cold soooooo,” I slid closer to Shoto and hugged his left arm.

“You’re so warm.” I pressed my cheek into his shoulder, “So warm.”

A lot of people rushed in started to take seats just as the bell rang.

“Everyone shut up and sit down.” I smield At Aizawa as I moved to my desk.

It’s gotta be a struggle being a pro hero and a teacher. Especially with this class.

“Alright, as a reward for how good most of you have been doing and have grown. We’re going to be having a party.” Cheers erupted.

“SHUT UP BEFORE I CANCEL IT.” Everyone stopped.

“It’s nothing fancy, just our class. Today is our last day before break starts. We’re going to run a quick test like on the first day of school to see how much your control over your quirk and skills have improved. So get out of here and go get dressed.” He sighed and pulled out a juice pouch.

“Atleast it’s not a test.” I mumbled and stood up lingering at the back of class avoiding the big group. The day went by, just like the first day, long and sweaty. Luckily it wasn’t as hot as the beginning of the school year.

Bakugo still reminded number one, followed by Midoriya who tied with Todoroki then Shoji, Tokoyami, Kirishima, me, the rest followed, and the most important part, Mineta was last. I smiled, he’d progressed but not enough to move up. He was lucky the first time Midoriya didn’t have a quirk exactly but this time he lucked out.

Every sat down taking deep breaths and trying to relax on the drying field. Todorki sat his legs ages did him and leaning back on his open palms. I dropped beside him a threw my myself back over his lap.

“It’s hot.” I whined taking his right hand putting it on my forehead, “You’re such a good friend.”

The rest of the Deku squad came around and started to chatter, I was staring up at the sky as it started to turn from its pale blue to a darker blue. The sun was moving over making room for the moon. I sighed and sat up.

“Deku, I need to talk to you and Todoroki.” They both looked at me. “Privately.”

After they followed me to a more secluded part of the field I turned to Shoto and gave him a look. “So, this isn’t my business so I’m leaving.”

I turned and walked not waiting. I made it back and plopped down beside Tokoyami who was sitting in the shade of a tree. Just a calm and nice person to sit silently with while the time passed. He opened his right eye and looked at me. I gave a small smile and he nodded before closing it again. This is what a friendship is made of, no words, just a peace full silence.

Time passed and I found myself staring at the sun through the leaves thinking about times I’ve spent in secret at the Todoroki Estate. My parents didn’t know, they lived in a different city, I had been staying in a student apartment until the school opened dorms. Whenever unexpected breaks came up I’d just tell them I was staying with Deku and his mom and they approved. In reality I’d go and stay with Shoto and stay in his house in the guest room. I might be infatuated with his dad but I’m not a loose woman. I arched my chest popped my back and stretched my legs out. My mind drifting to memories, of shopping with Shoto using his dads card, spending time with Endeavor, stuck under his heavy arm pressed against his side as we watched movies. Lingering in his office when he was busy with hero stuff. Hanging out with Shoto more and getting to know more about Endeavor then I would’ve expected. Soft touches and forehead kisses. Helping mend his and Shoto’s relationship, they might not be lovey dovey but now they can hold a simple conversation without cold stares and loud Soba slurping. I thought of every picture in my camera roll and Snapchat, picture with Enji, pictures with my future step son Shoto, pictures with both of them. Pictures of just them together. The day came to an end, and everyone finally started to head back in. I walked beside Tokoyami, just casually. When everyone was hot and back in the classroom Aizawa told us to dress nice for tomorrow for a photo. Everyone mumbled an okay and then left.

“So, Shoto....” I started as I dropped onto his bed, “How’d it go?”

“He said yes.” His simple answer as he looked through his closet.

“Great.” I chirped and stretched across his bed.

“He now also knows you’re going to be my step mother.” I chocked.

“what....” I faced him.

“A family vacation and you would be there, I can’t lie and say I invited you. It would make no sense for you to just show up. So I told him you were dating my dad.” He found a white button up shirt and grabbed closet hanger.

“Oh, so I can call him son in law now....” I grinned up at him as he tensed.

“Sure.” He mumbled and didn’t face me.

“NOW TELL ME.” I shoved myself up, “Where are we going?”

“Ask Endeavor when you see him today, now get up we have to get to class. I won’t be late for this photo because you’re interested in my dad and vacation.”

The party passed quickly, Momo tried to make a move on Todoroki which was stopped by Deku accidentally bumping into Iida who bumped into Uraraka who bumped Momo out of the way and away from Shoto. It was a calm first period, we took photo’s with Aizawa Separately and then together as a large group. He seemed happy as he looked at his phone until Kaminari screamed.

“IM GOING TO MISS YOU DADZAWA.” and then hugged his shoulders which led to a group hug.

The rest of the day was spent watching movies, when the day finally ended class 1-A spent all night singing Karaoke and playing games. Everyone heard Bakugo genuinely laugh after Kirishima tackles him and started to tickle his sides. He’s the only one brave enough and the only one who would’ve survived. Bakugo was nice the rest of the night, small ‘heh’s coming out of him every now thin. Leaning on each other and smiling talking about things that happened until Mina brought up the game of secret Santa we had all decided to play. So everyone traded gifts and decided to not open them until Christmas the only thing being you have to send a video to the person who sent it to you. I thanked Todoroki as he gave me a box. I gave one to Kirishima, who gave one to Bakugo, who gave one to Deku, who gave one to Tokoyami, then Mina, then Shoji, then Ochako, then Mineta, then Sero, then Ojiro, then Jirou, the rest followed until everyone had one gift.

“Group chat! Everyone has to send a picture of what they get!” Kirishima said and made a chat before anyone could deny.

I smield down at my phone as people sent messages with names and pictures. The night ended and we all went our separate way in the morning with goodbyes, take care, hugs and platonic cheek kisses.

I was the last one, everyone had left. I head back up and grabbed my bag, and a bag with the things I needed. I walked home, looking up at the sky. It was starting to pepper itself with stars. I made my way up an apartment building to the third level. Room 300, I opened it. It looked exactly how I last remembered it. Navy walls, white counter tops. Black glass Kotatsu, navy cushions with stars and constellations. I sighed the cold air filled my lungs. I stepped in, and turned on the bright white lights. I locked the door behind me. The kitchen was still small, white walls, black stove and sink, black refrigerator, wood knife block with gold knives I bought for the esthetic. I saw a bowl of mangos and picked a note that was laying on it.

‘(Y/n),

Were sorry we couldn’t bring you home. We sent a grocery order, If you’re reading this note it means the order made it to your apartment. Your dad and I sent you gifts we bought for Christmas. We love you, and stay safe.

Also, I sent a few extra hundred to your bank account buy yourself something nice while your off for break.

We love you, Merry Christmas. Well call you soon.’

I nodded at the note and just sighed. I made my way to my room, the walls here mimicked the living room with gold trim. I had placed metallic vinyl stars along the crown and down wards. I stepped over to my desk and it’s chair. I looked at my bed, king size leaving almost no room for anything else. Two standing lamps on either side of the head of the bed. The windows beside it were letting the moons light shine in through.

I sighed and laid in my bed and took in the feeling of the cold heavy blankets. I felt my eyes stinging, Why was I crying? I’d get to spend a week with Enji and Shoto and Deku. But I guess after that I’ll be alone for four weeks. Being alone that’s why, I sighed and rolled onto my stomach burying my face into a pillow. I pulled the blanket over myself and fell asleep in the moonlight.

I woke up heart racing to tapping on my window. I looked at the window ready to face whatever it could be. All I came to face were large slow raindrops pelting themselves against the window. I watched the skies, bright blue and purple lightening bolts lights up the dark. I wish it could rain forever sometimes, but I guess that’s just not the case. I sighed and pushed the blankets back feeling the heat build up. The rumbling of my ac started up, I yawned and stretched. At some point last night I ditched my pants and bra. I pushed myself up and took a shower and got ready to do nothing. It’ll be this week and next week before I get to see Shoto and Enji. What should I do?

I looked around my living room and huffed, “I probably should’ve stocked up on entertainment. I guess I can go to that large art store down the street. Or binge watch some Netflix.” I grabbed my phone to check my bank account. I’d been saving up and rarely spending to be able to splurge on myself on Christmas. I’d saved up $800, and let me see what my mom sent. “600?!”

“I have $1,400.00 to spend on myself! I could do so much... but I should probably save it for vacation in case I want to buy something.” I closed my phone and just decided to binge watch Avatar The Last Airbender. I got antsy and started to practice baking. I wasn’t bad but I wasn’t a pro.

I sighed leaning on the counter staring at the screen, Zuko’s back story played and I spoke to myself. “He’s definitely the reason I’ve had so many explosive crushes.”

The rest of the day went by slow, I recited the deliveries of present, I made cupcakes and a cake, an egg pudding, and I tried my hand in mochi. I sighed and started to make the icing to actually finish the cupcakes. I looked up smiling at a funny scene from Avatar. I started to pipe on the icing, and smiled at the black and white swirls.

The first week passed slowly, I used every tube of paint I had and still cut them open, I wore down every crayon, used every pot and pan at least five times. I started watching naruto with fillers, and took up sculpting with ten pounds of air dry clay I got on sale for four dollars. I smiled at the little frog I had finally finished, I put it in the sun to let it dry with the other frogs and turtles.

‘Hey you wanna come over?’ ❄️🔥

‘Yes please😢’ ☀️🖤

‘Alright, you should know what to bring by now. We’ll be there to pick you up in 30.’ ❄️🔥

‘Your such a life saver 😭 do you like sweets by the way?’ ☀️🖤

‘Sure, what’s your address? Natsuo will eat it if I dont so what do you have?’ ❄️🔥

‘A bakery, I just sent you my location’ ☀️🖤

‘You live in a bakery? 🤔’ ❄️🔥

‘Nope, just been bored. I’ll pack so see you when you get here.💙💙💙’ ☀️🖤

‘Food?’ ❄️🔥

‘Bread???’❄️🔥

‘🍩🍩🍩??? 👀 👀’ ❄️🔥

I finished packing and grabbed my favorite pillow and went to the kitchen and packed two cakes and about two dozen different muffins, and a tin of all my cookies.

‘I’m ready.’☀️🖤

‘You live here? 🤭🤭’ ❄️🔥

‘Yeah why?’ ☀️🖤

‘Your husband doesn’t seemed to pleased....👀’ ❄️🔥

‘HE LIVES IN A MANSION MY APARTMENT IS LIKE HALF THE SIZE OF ONE OF YOUR SMALL CLOSETS. 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔’ ☀️🖤

‘Sorry 😅 just come out.’ ❄️🔥

‘I need help to bring boxes down. 😐’ ☀️🖤

‘He’s going.’ ❄️🔥

I opened the door and came face to face with Enjis chest before he knocked.

‘Enji!’ I cheered.

“Shoto said you needed help.” He said and stood there looking down at me.

“Yeah, I uh....work for a baked and I have a lot of sweets that I’m not going to eat so I asked Todoroki and he said I could take them so he and Natsuo could eat.” I smiled up at him.

“I see.” He looked past me at boxes.

“Well let’s get these down then.” He picked up the boxes with ease and took my bag still after I denied.

I followed him, my phone and wallet in hand, I looked at the building one last time before getting into the car. I sat in the back Shoto passenger and Enji driving. I smiled and scooted to the middle and watched the scenery from the middle of the windshield.

We made it to the estate and I learned Natsuo and Fuyumi wouldn’t be home till Wednesday, considering it’s Saturday I can love on my boo. I settled in the lavish guest room and then made a bee live for Enji’s office. I burst in not knocking and found him standing over his desk. I moved behind him and hugged his waist pushing my right cheek into his back.

“I missed you.” I smield and squeezed him, it had no physical effect considering the man was rock hard.

He pulled my off and turned around, I hugged him again and he took me into his chest. He was so warm, and broad. I smiled into his warmth and enjoyed the physical affection. I felt tears pricking at my eyes, I’m not alone anymore.

The next two hours I spent talking to Enji and kissing his cheeks at random times and hugging his neck and shoulders and arms. I left once he got a phone call and it sounded important. I found Todorki staring at one of the boxes I brought.

“Let’s eat!” I said and popped the box of cake open.

His aurora darkened and he held up a knife, ‘I’ve been waiting for this.’

He cut into the cake and we started to feat, we finished the cake laughing on a sugar high at the sound of Shoto’s chair making a funny sound.

I smield at Shoto and he smield back.

“I’m glad it’s you and not just some random lady who doesn’t care about anyone else but herself.” His words were weird.

“I don’t know what you mean but okay.”

“You make us happy, my dad, you spend time with me and see me as a person and friend when no one else did.”

“Stop Sho, I’ll cry.” I said now understanding.

“He’s lucky, and if he messes up he’ll lose the both of us.” He threatened before stuffing himself with more cake.

His belly now round as he slouched.

“I love you both, really, as much as I can. I really honestly do.” I smield down at the empty messy box.

“I’ll clean up, go clena your face.” I handed him a napkin and patted his head.

I cleaned up thinking about what the future could hold and wondering what it does hold for the future.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

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[silenceofthecookies]

Only One

Pairing: Kurosaki Ranmaru x female reader

Word count: 1333

Warnings: mentions of cheating and breakup, use of alcohol

Summary: Inspired by Ranmaru’s song ‘Only One’. Ranmaru goes to the bar to drink away his feelings after being dumped again, and he runs into a girl who is doing the same. 

Ranmaru sighed and sat down at the bar. Another girl had dumped him. He had seen it coming, they had been fighting more frequently lately, and he had already found out she had been cheating on him. The only reason he hadn’t brought it up earlier, is because he believed he deserved this. Relationships had never worked out well for him. Cheating, attempts at controlling him, at changing him,… these were common. Yet he kept trying, because maybe, one day, he’d end up in a good relationship.

As if. With his personality and his past, no normal woman could ever love him. They’d want a stable, well-off man who showers them in love and affection, not a grumpy, aggressive man in debt. Not that he’d tell anyone about the debt, he knew these relationships didn’t last long and not everyone had to know this. He ordered a drink, took a sip and sighed. No use in wallowing in self-pity for too long.

His attention got caught by a soft sobbing. A few chairs to the right he noticed you, trying to stop your tears by drinking. You were dressed up nicely, but the makeup running down your face showed at you weren’t here waiting for your date to show up. A breakup, he guessed. After all, he was here for the same reason. The difference between the two of you, is that you probably didn’t see it coming. Ranmaru signaled the barman to give you another drink.

As you were crying, a new glass was put on the bar in front of you. Looking up, you noticed the barman giving you a small smile.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t order-“ “It’s from the young man over there.”

Looking over to where he was pointing, you noticed a man with silver hair and heterochronic eyes. He looked a little rough, but he was very handsome. As you caught his eye, he smiled a little and nodded towards you, before returning to his drink. This confused you, as often when men treated women to a drink at a bar, they wanted at least a conversation. Yet he didn’t seem to be very interested. You were quite happy with this, as you weren’t really in a conversation-with-a-stranger kind of mood.

The evening progressed, and sadly the gentleman to your left wasn’t the only one who bought you a drink. More men did, or offered, but they did want a conversation. You refused all of them, which ended in a lot of dirty looks and words, which didn’t really make you feel any better. Just when another man was about to bother you, the silver-haired man stepped in.

“I think the lady wants to be left alone.” “Oh really? And who are you to know what she thinks?”

The man stared at Ranmaru, clearly annoyed about his interference. The two stared each other down for a while, before the man grunted and walked off. Ranmaru sighed and visibly relaxed. Finally, he turned to you.

“I can sit down next to you, if you want? We don’t have to talk, but it might keep people away from you.” “…why would you offer that?” “I’m guessing you’ve just been dumped? So have I, and I wouldn’t want to be bothered by other women trying to pick me up right now. I’m guessing you’re the same. If you want to talk, I’ll listen, but if you don’t want to, I can just sit next to you and make sure nobody else bothers you.”

You were shocked. Handsome, considerate, and he just got dumped? Who would dump a guy like that? After looking at him in disbelief, you realized you had to give him an answer, so you nodded at him. Ranmaru nodded back, grabbed his drink and sat down in the seat next to you. A few moments passed in silence, before you finally spoke up.

“I’m Y/N, what’s your name?” “My name is Ranmaru.” “Thank you, Ranmaru.” “Don’t mention it.”

You stayed silent for a while, thinking your day and your whole situation over. Your boyfriend of two years had been cheating on you for the last 3 months with a colleague. He had casually dropped that bomb after a dinner to celebrate your 2 year anniversary. ‘This was a goodbye dinner’ he said. ‘I want to leave you so I can be with her’. After that he casually walked off. You were too shocked to ask for an explanation, or to stop him. Once you came to your senses he was long gone, and you broke down. Not wanting to go home yet, you decided the local bar would be a good place to drown your sorrows.

That’s how you ended up here, next to this prince charming in a leather jacket, being protected by his company. The silence was quite comfortable and you had no intention to disturb it. Slowly but surely you calmed down, and realised how stupid you had been. Heartbreak or not, you should’ve known better than to go drink your sorrows away at a bar. Not one to waste a good drink though, you calmly finished your glass and say goodnight to Ranmaru, smiling slightly and thanking him once again before leaving the bar to head home.

The moment the door fell shut behind you, Ranmaru regretted not asking your number. Sure, the situation might not have been right, but the moment he saw you smile, Ranmaru fell. Hard. It was only a small smile, yet it was enough for him to see how beautiful it was. How pure. However, he would have to live with the consequences. You were already gone.

---

That fateful evening had passed, and you were working at the local coffeeshop. You quite enjoyed your work there. The pay was nice, and your colleagues were amazing. When you told them what happened with your ex, they started asking you for his address to ‘pay him a visit’. You had quickly talked them out of it and got to work, but you noticed them looking out for you that day.

Your shift was nearing its end, only 30 more minutes to go. You weren’t usually one to count down until you could go home, but today had just been bad luck all around. You had slipped on a patch of wet floor you hadn’t noticed, you had spilled drinks, a machine broke down while you were using it… At this point you just wanted to lie down on your couch and not move anymore.

Breaking out of your thoughts you looked up at the customer that just came in, surprised to see a face you recognised. It was the man from the bar. His eyes widened at the sight of you as well, and his grumpy look turned into a smile.

“Hey. Y/N, right?” “Yes! Your name was Ranmaru, right? What’ll it be?” you asked, already writing down his name on the cup.

He gave you his order, and you started making it. What a coincidence to see him here again. Finishing up the order, you called his name and handed him the drink.

“Here’s your coffee, enjoy!” “Thanks. Say, are you ok?” “I am, no need to worry! It takes more than that to keep me down!”

You smiled widely at him, nearly forgetting how bad your day had been. Ranmaru stared at you for a little. There was that beautiful smile again. Taking a deep breath, he made up his mind.

“Hey, do you want to go on a date with me?”

He had no idea why, but he felt like this time, it could be different. Maybe this relationship wouldn’t be controlling or abusive. He watched your eyes go wide, your cheeks turn red, and thank god, you graced him again with your smile.

“I’d love to. My shift ends in 25 minutes, if you have time?”

Ranmaru smiled too now, happy you seemed so eager. Yes, he could feel it. This time it would be different.

[a-medvezhonok]

Part 6  & 7 April and Sterling

I’ve combined two parts. So warning you that this is a long one.

The rest of the afternoon and evening was filled with mostly proving and baking the bread. The girls had gotten into a good routine and were already on their last loaf when Sterling’s mum came back.

-Oh, you girls are cooking up a storm. And my, it’s so lovely to see you again April- At this, she went over and pinched April’s cheek. Sterling felt like dying from embarrassment. –Hi Sterling. – The greeting came out all stiff and awkward. Sterling didn’t reply.

-Now April, I just got off the phone with your father. - Even if she did notice how both girl’s stiffened at the mention of April’s dad, she called no attention to it. – He wanted me to tell you that he and your mother are currently having a bit of a misunderstanding between each other, so it might be best if you stay the night here. There was a deathly silence from both of the girls, neither showed any expression.

- And I obviously told him you are welcome here anytime. Plus it might do Sterling some good as well. Cheer her up a bit.

-Mum!

-What? A girl’s sleepover like old times? Might be nice, watch a movie, talk about boys you like and all that.

April looked like the rug had just been pulled out from underneath her- but Mrs Wesley, I don’t have any of my things.

-Oh, I’m sure Sterling can provide you with something. How about this, whilst you girl’s clear up here, I go put the spare mattress in Sterling’s room, ready for you when it’s time for bed. – At this Sterling’s mum went upstairs.

- I.. I guess I’m staying the night then.

- I’m so sorry your dad did that to you. If you feel uncomfortable, I can totally ask Blair to sleep in my room with me, and you can have her room. I know you think she hates you, but she’ll understand.

-No, no it’s ok. I don’t need another reason for her to despise me. Plus we can handle one night, It’s just like old times, right? - At this, she looked up at Sterling, worry written all across her face.

-Yeah, one night. Won’t be hard. Just like old times.

April seemed out of it, her eyes glossed over when she mumbled – it’s just a sleepover, a sleepover where we talk about boys.

They spent the rest of their baking and cleaning up in silence, slightly dreading what was to come. It was one thing being alone together during the day, but during the night, things were about to get a whole lot more complicated.

After finishing clearing up they went upstairs and Sterling found some clothes for April to wear as well as a spare toothbrush. When April came back from the bathroom after having changed, Sterling did not expect the sudden jolt it did to her heart to see April in her clothes.

-You look good.

-Oh haha, mock me all you want, it’s your own terrible fashion sense.

-No, I meant it serious…. You know what, never mind. Ummm.. Now what? Do we watch a movie?

- I don’t know, I’m quite tired after today.

- Oh yeah, totally, me too.

April laid down on the floor mattress. Sterling was left in the weird position of sitting on the bed looking over her.

-Sterl?

-Yeah?

-What’s going on with you and your mum?... I mean you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But if I can help in any way I -

-Well for starters turns out she’s not actually my mum.

April suddenly sat bolt upright – What? – With anyone else who could have told her something like that, she would have doubted them. But she knew how much Sterling hated lying, and she would have no reason to not tell the truth.

-Yeah turns out she has an identical twin, who abducted me by the way, but that twin is my real mum, and Blair isn’t...- she couldn’t finish the sentence. After taking a deep breath she kept going – she’s not my twin sister, she’s my cousin.

Sterling felt like a damn that had just been broken, everything started gushing out. As she was explaining what had happened, April sat up onto the bed next to Sterling, hand on thigh listening intently. As soon as Sterling couldn’t hold herself together anymore and the tears started pouring, April wrapped her into a tight embrace, stroking her hair and rubbing her back. She whispered to her, whilst Sterling buried her face in April’s neck.

-Oh Sterl, I am so sorry. I know it must feel like you have lost a family, but they are still there, they are still your family. Blair is still your sister. Maybe not biologically speaking, but you have lived your lives together as sisters – She gently pushes Sterling out so she can look into her eyes. –So you are still sisters. As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and Blair entered without waiting for a reply. – Hey, you’ll never guess what ha- She stopped dead in her track. – April?! Sterling quickly wiped away her tears. – Yeah her dad kind of didn’t give her a choice but to stay the night here, so be nice.- Blair didn’t respond, which for April’s standards was her being nice.

-Oookay, are you alright?

- Yeah, was just explaining what had happened, that’s all, nothing new. Are you ok?

-Yeah, yeah, well as long as you are ok, if you need anything let me know. And I can tell you about what happened tonight whenever I see you tomorrow. Love you, night.

-Love you too- at this Blair smiled sadly and closed the door.

April suddenly breathed out as if she had been holding her breath the entire time. -She didn’t throw me out of the window, so I guess that’s progress, she likes me now.

-Yeah next thing you know you’ll be sitting on her bed, consoling her tears. - They both laughed.

-But thanks for telling me about your family, I know how hard it is to talk about that kind of thing. I’m sorry if I forced it out of you.

-No, no. It’s ok. Its nice telling someone outside of the family, who isn’t as wrapped into all of it.

-I smell like you. – Sterling looked confused at the sudden topic change. April picked at the t-shirt she was wearing.

-Really? Because I can definitely smell you.

-Aww thanks, are you saying I need to shower?

-No,-

-I know, I was just poking fun – April’s eyes were so gentle looking.

-I can smell your hair.-As soon as Sterling said it she instantly regretted it.

-No Dorito this time? –Sterling was grateful for April’s save.

-Yeah just full Mexican restaurant in there, I think there’s a burrito tucked behind your ear. – At this Sterling as part of the bit reached out behind April’s ear, but the other girl flinched, and Sterling retracted her hand and apologised.

-Sorry

-No, I’m sorry.

April put her head in her hands. – How are we going to survive tonight?

-We could use it as an opportunity, there’s no one in this room who could potentially tell on us.

-I can’t say goodbye again, it’s too hard.

At this Sterling replied in a dejected tone. – Yeah, I don’t think I can be told goodbye to again either.

-I’m sorry I put you through that. -April looked down.

-Ok, hear me out. How about we just cuddle, you know as friends do, no kissing. Just good old fashioned Christian cuddling.

-Not a thing.

-Well, we can always be pioneers.

April looked so tired. She got onto her own mattress. And turned away from Sterling.

-Goodnight Sterl.

Sterling turned off the light.

-Sleep tight Apri.

-Don’t make Apri a thing, it’s not a thing.

-Ok, goodnight Ape.

-You somehow made it worse.

Sterling looked up at the ceiling.-I always do.

Part 7

Sterling just started to drift off to sleep, when she heard the faintest:

-Are you still awake?

-Yeah, why? - mumbled Sterling.

-Can you move your arm?

Sterling was too drowsy to fully understand the instructions.

-Huh?

-Can you please move your arm it’s … distracting. – Sterling was lying stomach down while her arm was hanging off the edge of her bed.

-Distracting?- Asked Sterling as she moved her arm.

-I couldn’t sleep, all I could think about was touching it. - Suddenly Sterling was wide awake.

-Oh, I mean you can do that if you want to - She let her hand hang off the side again. It stayed there for a few moments until Sterling felt something brush against her fingers, she flinched instinctually.

-Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. – April sounded so dejected, her voice barely audible in the silence.

-No, it’s ok. How about now- Sterling moved her positioning further to the edge of the side of the bed so that she could just about see April in the dark. She saw April’s hand move this time and managed not to flinch when it touched hers. April’s hand was slowly working around Sterling’s as if trying to memorise the feel of every line. Sterling knew it sounded awkward, but she couldn’t help but say –Your hands are so soft.

April chuckled. – I like your hands too. They’re surprisingly elegant.

Sterling was grinning – Of course, you had to throw in the “surprising”, couldn’t let me just have that one could you.

-Surprise is good. You surprise me in lots of ways Sterling Wesley.

If Sterling thought that it was difficult when April called her “Sterl” she now realised that paled in comparison to hearing her full name on April’s lips.

-I surprise you?

-Yeah, you do actually. - Suddenly April was kneeling next to the bed.

-Do you want to come up here? - Sterling patted the space next to her.

-You really think that’s a good idea?

-If you don’t, I might have to join you on the floor. Although actually, how about you stay creepily kneeling at the edge of my bed, and I’ll just go to sleep whilst you stare at me. That works too.

-Fine, scooch over.

-Really?

-Yes, before I change my mind.

Sterling quickly moved up so as to allow room for April, who had already made herself comfortable under the covers. They had left a gap between them, but April had found Sterling's hand again and was holding it as they lay there looking at each other.

-Can I ask you a question? asked April tentatively.

-Yes, anything.

-Why did you kiss me? - Sterling felt like she had just been shot with an electric current.

-What do you mean?

-I’m not sure, never mind forget it.- As April was second-guessing her question she started to move away and remove her hand, but Sterling held onto it, pulling her back.

-I kissed you because I liked you. You started talking about people needing to tell the truth, and I felt like I was going to explode. So I kissed you. - April didn’t say anything for a while.

-Can I ask you another question?

-Only if I then get to ask you one.

-Deal.

-Ok go ahead.

-When did you know?

-Know what?

- Don’t make this harder for me, you know what. When did you know that you.. umm wanted to kiss me? That the idea crossed your mind.

Sterling felt her whole body go red and numb, she was relieved that it was too dark for April to see how flushed she must have looked.

-Oh, I definitely can’t tell you that, it’s too embarrassing.

-Embarrassing? – As April was asking she was edging closer to Sterling.

-Yeah, there’s no way in hell I am telling you that.

-You won’t get a chance to ask me a question back in return. –April teased Sterling.

- I’m okay with that.

-Really? You find it that mortifying? Was it when I had the Dorito in my hair? That snack really did it for you huh?

-I was actually already into you then.

-Really? Because I was trying to trace when I had noticed a shift in your behaviour, and yeah it was around the Solomon’s temple time. Although you were already acting strange at the debate an-

-Please stop.

-Ooh am I close? Was it at the debate? Did my kayaking and swimming to shore story awaken something deep within you? - As April said the word “deep” she grabbed Sterling’s upper arm. That was the last straw for Sterling.

Either to stop herself from screaming or to shut April up, she climbed on top of April and bent down to whisper in her ear.

-If you don’t drop this topic right now, I will hurt you, either emotionally or physically, I’m not sure yet. But you will be hurt

Unfortunately, the reaction this got from April was for her to get that mischievous look in her eye, which could only mean bad things for Sterling. She quickly found out what those bad things were. April flipped her over onto her back and grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her, whilst April held her there, straddled on top of her, she whispered back in the blonde’s ear.

-I really wouldn’t advise you to make those kinds of threats to me. - At this she sat back up, looking down on Sterling. - Honey. - The air seemed to be crackling between them. Sterling was worried where this would go if she didn’t back down.

-Okay, fine, you win. You can let go now, even if you do play dirty. – April clambered off of Sterling’s hips, but this time when lying back down, instead of leaving a gap between them she snuggled up to Sterling, placing her face at about Sterling’s neck, wrapping her legs around Sterling. As April spoke Sterling could feel her voice vibrations against her own neck. It made her toes all tingly.

-Well, you’re the one who started it.

-Actually you did, with your questions.

- That’s a good point. You should take up debating, you’d be really good at it. - Both girls laughed. It was one thing to hear each other’s laughs, but both girls were in awe at what it was like to actually feel each other laugh with their bodies so entangled.

-Good night Sterl.

-Good night April, and for real this time. Don’t go waking me up about some stray arm.

-Sure.

-Promise?

-Promise.

They finally fell asleep, in an embrace, each heartbeat feeding off the other.

[whenimaunicorn]

Pretty Boy

Fandom: The Last Kingdom Characters: Uhtred x Reader Rating: Explicit

This is a request for @tephi101​ - Happy Yule!!! I took a stab at enemies to lovers in 3000 words... ok 3059... I don’t think you’ll begrudge me the final 59 words though ;)

 Your camp for the journey’s first night is secluded, in a small ravine far enough from the road that your warriors are not likely to be noticed by any passers-by. You are not yet in Earl Alfheim’s territory, but even here it would be better not to be seen; anyone might carry tales of armed men, and wonder where they are going. You sit now around a modest fire with your most loyal men: Burki, Thurgild, and Sigurd. A small goatskin full of ale, courtesy of Thurgild’s provisions, is passing around the group before you settle in for the night.

Raucous laughs drift up to your ears. “Curse them for fools,” you hiss.

The disturbance is coming from another fire, a separate camp set up just about a hundred yards away. Uhtred’s men.

Burki turns and spits in their general direction. “I don’t like working with Saxons.”

“Working for Saxons,” Thurgild corrects. “Most of the men he brought are as Dane as the rest of us. Funny how Alfred is getting so many of his enemies to do his bidding.”

You swallow a warm mouthful of ale, then pass the canteen along. “He gave us no choice,” you remind your crew. “And I’d much rather be smelling this cool night air than the stink of a Wessex dungeon.”

Sigurd tips the mouthpiece of the bag toward you in silent agreement before taking a drink.

A sour twist remains on Burki’s mouth. “Still, adds insult to injury to be partnered with the very man that tied you up and brought you in, don’t you think Y/N?”

You growl at the reminder. “Uhtred got lucky when he caught me, that was all. We’ll give him the slip just as soon as this promise is fulfilled. Then go somewhere far from the reach of Alfred and his hirelings.”

Sigurd finishes his lengthy swallow, then with a satisfied sigh and tosses the visibly lightened skin at Thurgild. “That’s the end of it.” He stands, ignoring the group’s groans of disappointment at such an early depletion of the ale. “I’m turning in. A lot of ground to cover tomorrow, before we can set to spying.”

Your other men stand too, with grunts of begrudging agreement. Only you remain seated, your mood blackened. You nod them off and scowl into the fire.

A moment later you whirl at the crunch of leaves to your right.

Firelight gleams off the fair face of Uhtred Ragnarsson, the traitor who now calls himself Uhtred of Bebbanburg. He tries a winsome grin as he approaches the seat beside you, so recently vacated by Sigurd.

“Watch it, pretty boy,” you say. Thurgild is still close enough to hear you, pausing on the way to his tent to look back. You wave him off and glare up at Uhtred. “What makes you think you are welcome by my fire?”

Uhtred tosses his twisted hair and sits down anyway. At least he still dresses as a Dane. “Since you called me pretty,” he smirks. He lifts a goatskin. “And because I have ale to share.”

You refuse to allow his sparkling eyes to soften your own scowl, but you reach out for the peace offering. He keeps a hold of it, sliding closer to you along the log, his expression playful and what some women might consider tempting. You huff and snatch the skin away from him.

The calculation in Uhtred’s eyes changes as he watches you drink and stare back at him flatly. He looks toward your warriors, disappearing into their tents. “Which one of them is your man?”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes as a better retort comes to mind. “They all are,” you deadpan, watching surprise make his cheeky confidence falter. “I sleep in Sigurd’s tent on Thor’s day, Burki’s on Freya’s day…” you trail off as Uhtred’s eyebrows climb. “You are surprised? What, do you not handle it this way with your men? Don’t tell me you all hump together, at the same time…” You scowl and give up the ruse as Uhtred’s brows crease in offense. “None of them is ‘my man,’ fool. I don’t need to share a bed with them to have their loyalty. They follow me because they respect me, as I am certain your men do too.”

Uhtred leans back, palms lifting. “I meant to imply no such thing.”

“You only wanted to know how I could possibly resist your charms, then.”

“Perhaps,” is all he says staring now into the fire. You definitely seem to have taken the wind out of his sails.

“We should make plans for how we will approach the fort tomorrow.”

 *

 Alone with Uhtred, scooting up a ridge on your bellies, you peer down at the fort to inspect its defenses. Apparently he, like you, would rather take the risk to see things for himself than try to piece together a plan from information reported by his men. Absently, you wonder how your two groups are getting along as they wait for their commanders to return.

A little checkpoint has been set up on the road below, and the guards change as you watch.

Uhtred leans closer than he needs to, making sure his voice won’t carry. His breath tickles your ear as he speaks with the barest rumble of vocalization. “Did you see the signal the man flashed as he approached?”

You made the same gesture with your hand. “They must not always know the faces of their replacements. We could use that.”

Uhtred seems likely to say something else, but you hear a crunching in the brush somewhere behind your position. It could be an animal, but better to be sure. Without wasting time on saying anything, you shove at Uhtred’s shoulder, rolling him under the cover of the bushes off to the right.

You wind up on top of him, pressed together from chest to knee as you share the tiny hiding space. His breath is warm on your cheek as you peer out from under obscuring twigs.

Uhtred chuckles, creating very interesting movements in the warm body beneath yours. “Y/N, if you wanted to roll around with me—”

You cut him off with a hiss and a glare. A dry branch snaps not too far away and Uhtred’s face goes serious too. He looks out toward the source of the sound and then neither of you move another muscle, other than the soft rise and fall of your chests, pressed together, breathing in sync as you listen.

Someone is stomping in your direction. You feel the flex of Uhtred’s pectoral muscle as he moves his arm carefully, quietly. A moment later he presses the hilt of a weapon into your hand.

The footfalls grow closer. Uhtred tries to signal something to you with his eyes, but you aren’t certain of his meaning. Only that he intends you to be ready to strike. You can see your opponent’s feet now, and they stop suspiciously near.

You hear the sound of steel clearing a scabbard. Uhtred’s arm whips up, and a stone clatters several paces away. He’s made a distraction, surely intending for you to roll out of the bushes and strike.

You launch yourself out from under the cover and make a sweep for the man’s legs. A single cry escapes his throat as he goes down, but you’re sure to silence him the instant his throat is within reach.

Uhtred remains in a crouch after crawling out behind you. He looks around warily, then flashes you a warm smile. “I knew you would make quick work of that.”

“I told you before, pretty boy, I’m better than you.” You wipe blood from the blade on the warrior’s coat and then toss Uhtred’s dagger back to him. “You only got lucky the day that you caught me.”

“I am beginning to believe it,” he answers, surprisingly humble. “I am glad that we are now on the same side.”

You force a small smile. Don’t be so certain of that. You kick at the body. “We’d better hide this and move on.”

 *

 Luck runs out as the day progresses. The next patrol that runs into you is dispatched too, but with much more effort, and you both take wounds in the process. That, and one of the horses spooks, so you are now left sharing a saddle as your remaining mount carries you both back to your hidden base. Still, Uhtred seems inexplicably cheerful. The music of laughter touches his voice as he speaks behind you. “Earl Alfheim will surely notice three of his patrolmen missing from his hall tonight.”

“So we’ve lost the element of surprise,” you grumble.

Uhtred’s arms squeeze once against your sides. He insisted he needed to lean against you for balance, holding on to the front of the saddle between your legs, but you suspect his wound is not actually that bad. “That is what he will think, yes. He will draw in his men, and lock his fort up tight, believing we made a mistake.”

“Didn’t we?”

You don’t have to turn to know that Uhtred is grinning. “Not necessarily.” His hair brushes your cheek, bringing with it the musky scent of a vigorous man. “He will retreat into his hole, expecting us to try to attack him there. Meanwhile, we will be stealing his cattle. Perhaps we’ll take the town, as well.”

You frown. “Do we have enough men to do that?”

“We don’t,” Uhtred says cheerfully. You feel like smacking the insufferable man. “Not to hold any of it. But if we annoy him enough, he will send his men out to take these things back, and in the streets of the town, or out driving cattle, each one of our warriors is worth three of his.”

“We barely took three of his today,” you remind him.

Uhtred waves his hand. The gesture is so close to your body that you are surprised with an involuntary thrill, a sudden wish that that hand had actually brushed up against you. “Only because we were trying to be quiet. They would be no match at all in open combat.”

“You plan to get lucky again, then.”

“Always.”

 The rest of the ride back is excruciating, not because of the pain in your side, but because you keep expecting Uhtred to lay his hands on you and it never comes. His voice is sweet in your ear, his body warm and intriguing at your back, and the sway of the horse creates a friction of your haunches against his hips that you imagine has to be driving him mad. But not once do his hands creep to your thighs, nor do his lips brush along your neck, nor any of the other number of things you wait with baited breath for him to try on you. He had been so interested in flirting with you before. What had changed?

And so the ride is painful for you not physically, but in your soul. Because as Uhtred continues to not touch you, you are forced to realize how desperately you want him to. Working together today, with the respect he showed for your skill, and the ease with which you both took to coordinating in battle, it was as if you had danced together already. A glimpse that gave you confidence in how well your bodies would slide and fit together under the furs, as well…

You might have caught something in his eye just as you are dismounting, after returning to the camp. But his men are fussing over the injury in his leg, and Thurgild is ushering you off in the other direction so he can examine the gash across your stomach.

 *

It’s nothing, really. A shallow strike, the bleeding easily stopped. But when Uhtred appears hours later with the offer of some magic ointment to soothe your wound, you don’t send him away. You beckon him closer, nestling back into your furs, and draw your tunic up and show him your bandage without a word.

There’s something heavy in his eyes as he kneels down beside you. You know how you must look, laying flat on your back with your trousers loose and belt-less for sleep, holding the hem of your tunic up just beneath your breasts. It’s hard not to flinch, to go rigid and ready for action, as this warrior who so recently hunted you down now looms over you. But it’s exciting, too. To expose your soft belly to him, to force yourself to remain completely vulnerable under his gaze.

There’s a sting as Uhtred removes the cloth bandaging your wound. You give no sign of the sensation other than holding your breath. He gives a satisfied nod at the state of your wound. “Not deep.”

“Not deep,” you agree. Thurgild only had to sew it together with a few stitches in the middle. You’ve had worse.

Uhtred opens his jar, scoops out a jellied paste with two fingertips. “This has a bite at first, but once it soaks in it will numb everything.”

“Good. That ache was starting to get annoying.”

He starts at one edge of your wound, working it in gently. The sting is immediate and your body twitches. Uhtred’s other hand comes down on your flank, steadying, soothing, and he makes a low humming sound under his breath. “Trust me.”

And you realize that you do. Somewhere during the wild engagement that got you this wound, Uhtred had earned your respect.

The fingers of his left hand continue to play over your skin, bared between hip and ribs, in silent distraction as he spreads the stinging ointment with his right. The edge of the wound he had started with is already sinking into blissful silence.

You arch your back just a little, not enough to disturb his work, only hoping to encourage that left hand. Uhtred’s calloused palm feels as good as you’d hoped, warm and strong as it conforms to your curves.

He finishes with the ointment, and wipes his right hand dry. He does not stop touching you with his left. You stare up at him from your pillow of furs, not saying anything, hoping the look in your eyes is enough. Your pride won’t let you admit out loud to this man what you want from him.

His thumb strokes your side once, twice more. He examines your face, his own expression unreadable, though his perfect lips are softly parted like they are readying for a kiss. Then he looks down at your belly, turns, and sets to work applying a fresh bandage.

He does not look back up at your face. But as you watch his eyelashes flutter, it feels that he is memorizing the sight of your curves under his hands. And when the bandaging is done, he does not rise, does not lift his hands from your body, does not utter a single word.

Uhtred leans in, long hair brushing against your flank, and presses a single kiss just below your navel. The sensation sends ripples through your entire being. The whiskers on his chin tickle your lower belly as he tips his face up to regard you with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. “I can think of one other way to soothe your pain.” Cheeky fingers curl around the top of your trousers.

You groan a little at the way your body responds, a flash of heat stabbing through your core, but the look of triumph that passes across Uhtred’s face annoys you. “Humping seems likely to break open fresh wounds,” you point out. “Thurgild would have your head.”

“Not humping,” Uhtred responds with a grin. “We’ll save that until you have healed.” Then he starts drawing the fabric down.

He removes your trousers slowly, pausing to kiss each new inch of bared skin. Every press of his lips kills any protest trying to formulate itself in your mind. You will just have to trust that he’s up to something you won’t regret.

When he has your lower half completely bare, his lips do not cease their work, kissing your thighs soft and slow, melting the tension out of your legs with massaging hands. He settles his body between your knees, spreading you more and more open, until you feel the air against your cunt, wet and waiting.

His kisses travel in that direction, along your inner thighs, and you inhale slowly in anticipation. You had not expected Uhtred to be so generous a lover as this. But if he is this intent on proving why you should yield to him, you are wholly ready to lay back and enjoy it.

His finger slides along your slit, just before his tongue follows. He emits a soft growl as he presses your legs apart wider, almost impatiently, and then his hot mouth closes over the little bud of pleasure just above your opening.

You suck in air, fingers curling through the furs at your sides, as Uhtred takes you on the ride of your life. He wields his tongue even better than his blade, and you praise whatever woman must have taught this to him, so he has such skill to share with you now. You start to moan, desperate little sounds, as an answering pressure rises inside you; hot, liquid pleasure that feels likely to drown. And when Uhtred pushes two long fingers inside you, beneath his still-sucking mouth, you arch your back and choke off a scream.

His hand finds yours, fingers curling together, anchoring you as that pleasure explodes into something about to overwhelm your sanity. You feel no shame in sobbing his name as you climax, all pride vanished under this wicked tongue.

He licks you steadily as you shudder and unwind, holding your hand firmly, not relenting until you push him off and shut your knees against the sensitivity. Uhtred laughs and slides up to lay beside you, arm scooping in around your chest, mindful of your belly wound. The one you can’t feel at all anymore.

“I like the way you call my name,” he murmurs pridefully into your ear. He nips it playfully. “And surely your men must have heard that.”

You give him a lazy swat, already feeling too sleepy to engage him properly. “Surely, that was your plan all along.”

“Perhaps.”

Read more fics from the Let’s Be Danes For Yule event!

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[rhubarbbaby]

Strawberries and Art 2

Jihoon x Y/N

Genre: College AU, Fluff Word Count: 4,2k Summary: Like every passionate art student, you spend most of your time immersed in your drawings and paintings. The day you meet Jihoon, your everyday life suddenly gets a lot more exciting...

All chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

Chapter 2

The rest of your day had passed in a blur. Time had seemingly stopped making sense after you had met Jihoon. You tried to go on with your day as usual even though the world seemed to have readjusted itself along its own axis. Love at first sight was certainly nothing you believed in but the question whether a thing such as “crush at first sight” existed, did cross your mind more than once.

Your brain continued replaying the short conversation you had had with him over and over again. It was as if you had temporarily lost all control over your train of thoughts. You were not oblivious that the sudden change in your feelings was because of Jihoon, a boy who was still a stranger to you, nothing more than a fleeting encounter. And even though you were aware of all those things you still could not get yourself to stop thinking about him. Suppressing your thoughts did not work; you even caught yourself doodling some human outlines that suspiciously seemed to resemble him.

In the afternoon you had realized that concentrating was an impossible quest so you simply stopped fighting it. It took you between two and three seconds to come to the conclusion that, yes you did have a crush at first sight on Jihoon, and (god damn it) you couldn´t wait for the party tomorrow to see him again.

The next morning you woke up to three unread messages from Jo.

Jo: “You still up for the party?”

Jo: “I´ll come pick you up at 8.”

Jo: “Oh and I asked Hansol about Jihoon :) From what he told me he seems like a really great guy. Also he says Jihoon is this super talented songwriter which is just incredibly hot if you ask me…”

Oh my god.

You: 8 is perfect.

You: You talked to Hansol about it?? Jo!!! That´s so embarrassing.

You only had to wait a few minutes for her answer.

Jo: Don´t worry. I didn´t tell him you fell in love at first sight ;)

Jo: See you at 8

You: I´m not in love with him!!!!!!

Thinking about the party filled you with anticipation which had an accompanying taste of a mixture between nervousness and uncertainty. You knew that your brain was probably just overreacting, likely Jihoon would turn out to be boring, maybe even rude and you would have forgotten about him by tomorrow. But it has been a while since you had been as thrilled meeting a boy as you were now and you wanted nothing more than for him to turn out to be the person you imagined him to be. Another problem was, of course, that you didn´t have the slightest idea how you would start a conversation with him. You had never been the type to approach people just like that, especially not people who were as hot as Jihoon.

The party wasn´t until the evening and your thoughts were still circling around him like a moth searching for light. You knew you had some assignments due next week that you wanted to continue working on and so you made the conscious decision to stop letting your thoughts distract you, not until 8 at least. But it is not easy to lure a moth away from light; some would argue that it is sheer impossible.

You were finished with your art history homework at about 5. Somewhere far in the back of your head your mind tried to remind you of the portrait assignment which would have to be finished in a week.  You knew the assignment would make up 30 percent of your grade and you didn´t even know who you wanted to draw yet…But you really did not want to think about that right now. A certain person seemed much more important at the moment. Also you still needed to pick an outfit for the party.

As you stood in front of your wardrobe, you suddenly had to giggle. The situation, you were in, reminded you a bit too much of one of those overly cheesy, almost ridiculous romantic movies. Of course the poor innocent girl didn´t know what to wear to the party her crush was at. Because you absolutely did not want to fuel the cliché any further, you quickly decided to put on simple black pants and a t-shirt you really liked. Finding a suitable outfit wasn’t too difficult, you thought.

Maybe it really was because your pants seemed to be a bit scratchy, or maybe it was because you had looked at yourself in the mirror once too often and had noticed that the back pockets of your pants were making your butt look weird. Whatever the reason for your decision, you changed your black pants for a pair of jeans in the last moment. Possibly, some of those cliché movie scenes were not as unrealistic as you had thought.

Jo: I´m here! I´m waiting downstairs.

You: I´m coming.

Downstairs you hugged briefly to greet each other. “You look pretty! Is all this for Jihoon?” “I´m only wearing regular jeans!” you replied with a smile on your face, your tone slightly outraged. “I know. I´m sorryyy. I´m just so excited already. Hansol told me some things about Jihoon and I think the two of you should marry.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “JO! I don´t even know him!” “Not yet!”

Hansol would be waiting at the party, which meant you had the ten minutes’ walk to exchange essential information. According to Jo, Jihoon was a music student just like Hansol but while Hansol had an understanding of rap and hip hop, Jihoon was considered an exceptionally talented songwriter. Hansol had apparently got to know him because they had to do a school project together last semester.

Your anticipation was now growing with every step you took. Going out was nothing unusual for you, normally you weren´t nervous or overly excited though. On a normal evening you would have met up with Jo, the two of you would have had too many sugary alcoholic beverages and then you would have danced until your feet were going to give out. Not that those normal evenings weren´t fun, but today was different. Today was different because for the first time in months you were looking forward to talking to a boy. Your heart starting beating a tiny bit faster when you could finally hear the dull music of the party that was already in progress.

“Ok, listen. I thought about it. When you see him, I think you should walk up to him and tell him that he owes you a drink because of that strawberry.” “Jo! You´re crazy! I´ll never be brave enough to do that.” “With an attitude like this you won´t…just saying. I really think you should give it a try. You can´t just hope he´ll come up to you …” You hadn´t thought about that yet. Yes of course you were aware that you might actually have to start a conversation but in all of your carefully arranged, delicately placed fantasies, it was always Jihoon who approached you. The possibility that he might not even intend starting a conversation with you was not something you had considered. A wave of anxiety swept over you. It felt like waking up in a bathtub full of cold water, which once used to be comfortingly warm when you got in. You definitely didn´t know enough about him to be invested in a hypothetical relationship that might never become reality. You needed to slow down. “You´re right. I´ll try to talk to him.” “No you´re not just gonna try. You´re going to do it.”

Hansol was waiting at the entrance. “Good evening, ladies.” He grinned. He hugged you before pulling Jo into his side and giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Let´s do this!” you smiled while trying to sound confident but you knew Jo was able to hear the pinch of uncertainty in your voice.

“I´ll go get you two something to drink.” With these words Hansol had left to find alcohol. Looking around the room you tried to orientate yourself. You have never been here before but it was obvious you were at a frat house. Hansol had mentioned some guy called Jackson Wang who apparently was the host of the party. You had never heard of him before but he was apparently really good at hosting parties, the people around you seemed to have a lot of fun.

Even though you would never have been able to admit it, not even in front of yourself, your eyes started wandering across the room searching for him. And just like in one of those exaggeratedly cheesy romantic movies, the ones you thought so little of, you discovered him immediately. He was standing far back in a corner where he was talking to some people. Yesterday you hadn´t noticed, you had probably been too busy staring at his face, but he was very small, which was funny because in the few seconds you talked to him you had found him to be quite a bit intimidating. Not in a bad way, he simply seemed to take up more space than he needed which was probably due to the way he carried himself.

“I see! You found him already,” Jo ripped you out of your thoughts. “Come on! Go over there and say hi!” “There are so many people with him. I´d rather wait a little…” “Fair enough. Then let´s go dance!” she smiled and pulled you with her onto the “dance floor”, which technically was just the living room.  A few minutes later Hansol joined you again and gave you both drinks. “I´m going over there to talk to some friends. Is that alright?” he asked directed at Jo. She just nodded and gave him a short kiss before turning back to you. You immediately downed your glass to build up a certain level of alcohol, which you wished would help you speak to him at some point. You normally did get drunk fairly easy and so you could already feel the slight effect of the alcohol in your body after the first glass. After the third one, you and Jo could finally dance unrestrainedly and even though your gaze wandered over to him every few minutes you still lost any kind of tension you were holding in your body. God bless alcohol.

“Hey I have to go to the bathroom. You coming with me?” Jo asked. “Sure.” You held onto her shirts so you wouldn´t lose each other in the crowd. Slowly you made your way through the masses of sweating, dancing bodies. The bathroom was in the back so it took you a few minutes to arrive there. Jo immediately disappeared behind the bathroom door while you waited outside. You leaned against the wall and for a second you did nothing more than just breathe. You looked up at the ceiling and took deep breaths in and out. You could feel the alcohol in your body and the cool wall on your back gently pulled you back into reality.

“You came.” The voice tore you from your state of utter peace. The music was loud, you could feel the bass in your body, everywhere people were screaming at each other to make themselves understood, the voice that had caught your attention was comparatively quiet, calm and seemed to be very close to you. You couldn´t be sure that the sentence was directed at you, still your gaze shot to the side to see where the voice was coming from. Jihoon stood close beside you, also leaning against the wall. He was smiling at you expectantly. It was similar to yesterday, right off the bat your brain started to absorb his features. Every line, every mark, every twitch of muscle, no matter how small. For a moment (which lasted far too long) you simply stared at him. Fuck, what did he say?

“Yeah..” you managed to stutter an answer just before the situation drowned in a blend of an embarrassing and awkward silence. You were still looking at him, doe eyed, not knowing how to act further. Jihoon just chuckled and in that moment you could´ve sworn it was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard in your entire life. “Why are you laughing?” you couldn´t help but grin back, his smile was contagious. “It´s just…you look cute when you don´t know what to say.” As soon as the words left his lips, your body literally catapulted itself into shock. Did he really just call you cute?? You were probably just lost in thoughts again, surely you were just daydreaming. Your eyes did not leave his face, you were certain you had misheard what he had said but his smug, maybe even a bit arrogant smirk told you otherwise. You were still lost for words. It must´ve been seconds and you still hadn´t answered…

His smile was fading a little. “Hey sorry if I overstepped any boundaries, I know we don´t know each other yet, also I´m a bit drunk.” Now it was your turn to laugh. “It´s ok. I think you´re cute too.” You had not even the faintest idea where your sudden confidence was coming from (you would probably have to thank the alcohol for it tomorrow morning). “You think I´m cute, huh?” he asked, and you couldn´t help but wonder again how he could be so fucking hot. The hands in his pockets, his collarbones peeking out slightly above his neckline, the smug smile with which he was looking at you. “So, will you let me buy you a drink?” Just as you were about to answer, Jo came out the bathroom door again. “I´m ready! Let´s…,” she stopped mid-sentence when she saw who was standing next to you. Her surprised look quickly changed into a knowing grin. “Uhm..I want to look for Hansol. Is it ok if I just…” “Don´t worry you can leave her with me. I´ll look out for her.” Jihoon chimed in with an assuring smile. Even if you were not even expected to answer, you were completely speechless. An hour earlier you had racked your brain about how you would approach him, you remembered. “What a gentleman you are. Thank you.” she responded. “Text me if you need anything. I´ll look at my phone. And wait for us to walk you home!” she added, addressed to you. In the next second she had already disappeared into the crowd. “If you don´t mind I´ll get us something to drink?” “I´d love that.”

Minutes later you were sitting on a garden bench in the backyard. On the wall of the house there were paper lanterns attached, which made wonderful little colored spots of light dance around you. That Jackson Wang really knew how to throw a party, you thought again. You could still hear the music, but the walls functioned as a shield and made it appear as if the music was coming from far away. You and Jihoon weren´t the only ones who had gone outside to have a proper conversation, many couples had found the backyard to be the perfect place to make out, intertwined they sat there and you were sure that nothing would be able to keep them away from each other in that moment. But because you were drunk, and most importantly because Jihoon was sitting right next to you, you didn´t even give them more than a second of your attention.

Jihoon sat there, legs casually spread, with one arm on the backrest. You sat (very) close to each other, much closer than you probably would have, had you not been drunk. You had one leg on the bench so it was easier for you to face him. “You´re an art student, right?” “Yup. You´re a music student? Hansol said you are a very talented song writer.” Laughing out loud, he threw his head back. You were still nervous; your heart was still clearly beating a tad too fast and you had no clue what to do with your hands. But his laughter was contagious and his voice was soothing and so full of ease that all your nervousness was slowly guided out of your body. “Did he? I mean, he´s not wrong. I do indeed love writing songs, and I suppose I´m not too bad at it. Not sure I would call myself very talented though.” “Oh so humble.” You grinned. “Would you call yourself a very talented artist?” “No, I guess I wouldn´t. I´m not even sure I´m talented. Maybe I just love art. I think drawing the line between talent and just being hard-working is not always easy. That´s of course because talent and being hard-working are not mutually exclusive. You can be talented and hard working. That´s why I think it´s not always easy to detect talent.” Jihoon just looked at you, his face twisted into a slight smile. Why didn´t he say anything? “What?” you asked with a hint of shakiness in your voice. “It´s just…I think this was one of the smartest things I´ve ever heard a drunk person say.” Your eyes became big and suddenly your nervousness was back again. “I´m not that drunk!” “It was still smart.” You did not know what to say to that. You just looked at him and for a few seconds, neither you nor he said anything. But it wasn´t an awkward silence that begged to be broken, so the two of you just sat there, staring at each other.

“So tell me, what do you like to draw?” And you told him everything. About your obsession with peonies, about how you loved to draw old people because every single wrinkle, every scar seemed to tell so many stories. You told him about how you got off the bus three stops too early last summer just to paint a field of poppies, you told him how you once won an art contest in elementary school with a drawing of a hedgehog, that you didn´t even like. And you told him about how your mom had cried when you got accepted to art school because she was just so proud of you. While you were talking he listened attentively. And if you weren´t so immersed in your narration, if you were a little less drunk, you would´ve probably noticed the way he looked at you. Not once did he take his eyes off your face. When you were finished he told you about music. He told you how writing songs soothed him like nothing else. He told you how satisfying it was for him to finally finish a song. He told you how much he loved to sing and about that one night a few years ago the neighbors called the cops on him because he was singing too loudly in the middle of the night. You listened to every single word he said and if he wasn´t so immersed in his narration, if he was a little less drunk, he would´ve probably noticed the way you looked at him. Not once did you take your eyes off his face.

The buzzing of your phone ripped you out of your thoughts.

Jo: Hey, we´re about to go home. Are you ok? I don´t want you to walk home alone…

Fuck. You had totally forgotten the time. It was already 2 am. Jihoon saw you looking at your phone. “Is everything ok?” “Yeah, it´s just…I should probably go. My friend is leaving and she wants to walk me home.” “And what if I walked you home?" “You would do that?” “I just kept you from having fun with your friend the entire evening. I think I even owe you to walk you home.” He chuckled. You felt your cheeks flush. “I did have fun with you though.” “I´m very glad to hear that.” “And you´d really walk me home?” “Sweetie, it would be my pleasure.” he smirked. Sweetie. You definitely were not prepared for the pet name. All of a sudden your heart was beating so fast, you thought it would jump out of your chest. Your cheeks, rosy before, suddenly felt incredibly hot. “Thank you.” You answered, relieved after you noticed your voice didn´t leave you hanging.

You: I´m ok! Jihoon is going to walk me home. You don´t have to wait for me!

Jo: Use condoms!

You snorted and suppressed a laugh. Jihoon looked at you, his eyebrows slightly raised. “Sorry, my friend just texted something funny.” “What did she say?” Your heart seemed to have stopped beating for a moment. You didn´t think he´d ask that. “I, uh…nothing…she just…” you stammered. He laughed while never taking his eyes off you. “It´s ok. You don´t have to tell me.” “It´s just…” you tried to explain but instead you buried your face in your hands. This was so embarrassing! You didn´t know what reaction you expected from Jihoon, probably there wouldn´t have been anything to improve your situation anyway, but his low chuckle definitely made it worse. “I make you nervous, huh?” Your heart was still beating so fast and your cheeks had to be deep red by now and as much as you tried; you didn´t manage to look him in the eye again. So you just nodded. “Come on. Let´s walk for a bit.”

He stood up and stretched out his hand to pull you on your feet, which would not have been necessary, but you enjoyed the touching of your hands. It was the first time you touched each other on purpose. And even though it was only your hands that touched, you couldn´t help but feel more and more attracted to him. He didn´t let go of your hand, pressed it even more firmly and then gently pulled you past the left over party guests. Out of the front door, you just kept walking, your hand still in his. “Where do you live?” He sounded calm, relaxed and you knew you would be happy to hear nothing else than his voice for the rest of your days. “Basically on the other side of the campus. It´s a ten minutes ‘walk.” “Alright.”

And then the two of you walked, holding hands, side by side, so close other people would´ve thought you were a couple. Neither of you said anything for a few minutes. As before, the silence was not unpleasant at all, you simply enjoyed each other´s presence. Also, your heart finally had the opportunity to return to a normal pace, and the evening air cooled your cheeks. “I would love to see you again.” He underpinned his statement with a slight squeezing of your hand. You looked at him; he was focused on the walk, so you granted yourself a second to stare at him. He really was just so beautiful. The hair that gently fell in his face, his cheekbones, his neck. “I want to see you again too.” “You have to show me some of your drawings. Especially that one hedgehog drawing you were speaking of.” “Jihoon! I was 8 when I drew that and I didn´t even like it!” you made your voice sound playfully outraged. He couldn´t help but smile, his whole face lit up after hearing you say his name. He could definitely get used to that. “I bet it´s still good.” “No it´s not. But I can show you some other drawings.” “Guess I´ll have to settle for that.” He grinned. “Yes! And I want to hear some of your songs and you have to sing for me!” you said self-confidently. Your nervousness had completely disappeared from your body and had given way to a pleasant tension. “Deal.”

“This is me” you said as you came to a stop outside your building. He let go of your hand, the warmth leaving your palm empty, you wanted nothing more than to grab his hand again. A second later he had pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it out to you. “Here, type in your number.” You complied and gave it back to him. “Text me when you get home?” you asked shyly. “I promise.” And then came the moment, the moment in romance movies every viewer awaited eagerly, the moment you two should´ve kissed, or at least hugged. But you didn´t. Both of you were so absorbed in each other that neither one of you dared, nor even thought of making the first step. “Goodnight, Jihoon.” “Goodnight, Y/n.” And with that he left. You looked after him for a moment. Hell, even the way he walked was sexy.

Back in your apartment, you pushed your shoes off your feet just to fall into bed right after. You doubted that your remaining strength would be enough to change into your pajamas. Your body was so tired, but your mind was awake. Endorphins seemed to have decided to simply continue the party in your stomach. You were just lying there, arms outstretched, staring at the ceiling with a grin.

After, what had to be about 15 minutes, you heard your phone buzz. Never before had you reached for your phone so quickly.

Unknown: I just got home. Goodnight, Sweetie. Don´t forget to drink lots of water!

You read the message and you didn´t know it was possible, but your grin got even wider. Your phone pressed to your chest, your clothes still on, you started drifting off to sleep. You would just text him back, and save his contact in the morning, you thought. And with that, your body fell into a pleasant sleep.

Hi! It´s me, Jo. I´d like to thank you for reading my stuff! I really hope you enjoyed it. If you have any feedback, comments, requests, questions please let me know!

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression - Episode 46 The filming for the Dir en grey Real Avatar music video.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this episode, uh, this week's episode of the Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san...it feels like a while since we were last here.

J, T: Yeah.

K: We've been on location, plus last time we filmed 4 episodes at once. Quite a while has passed since then.

T: It has.

J: Nothing new with you?

K: No, nothing.

T: Hahaha

J: Tokyo Sports seems pretty busy..

T: Yeah, I watched you two recently...on Niconama.

J: Ah, yeh. You wrote an article, thanks for that.

T: I was a bit envious while working on it.

J: Yeh, but what about that Tokyo Sports hoodie? How is it doing?

T: Yeah, it looks like its selling.

J: Right.

T: Thanks to you two.

J: No, no, its thanks to Kaoru, but..

K: No, no, its nothing.

J: You gotta make something else for round two.

T: Yeah, there might be a T-shirt collaboration in the works.

K: Ehh? Im looking forward to that.

J: Eventually we'll have like a The Freedom of Expression x Tokyo Sports collaboration set?

T: Yeh, and we could sell that, then go to Okinawa.

J: Go to Okinawa? Haha.

K: Hahaha.

J: Our plan is steadily progressing that far..

T: Together with you Joe.

J: Yes, please, haha.

K: Ok, so Joe, can I ask you to get us started today?

J: Got it! This is happy news, the news that Dir en grey will screen an avatar music video. Dir en grey will reveal a new music video on New Years Eve from 11:00pm, which includes avatar characters created using 3D scans of the members. The Explosion screenings of 'The World You Live In', have been sold out. So an encore entitled 'The World You Live In - additional' will be held on New Years Eve as an online broadcast. As well as a special talk event with the members, a music video with real avatar characters, made by 3D scanning each member, will be screened. Kaoru?

K: Thank you

J: This is good news, isn't it?

K: So as a rule, we always broadcast this show on Friday, but we've made it a bit irregular this time in order to talk about this. Well, of course, I've seen it already.

J: Have you? What was it like?

K: Well, first of all, as for the filming, we did our make up and costume etc, and had cameras surrounding us 360°. We filmed it there first, and then in a different studio, we put on clothes that had pointers all over them, and I played air guitar...

J: Ah, you performed.

K: And then we took photos seperately.

J: It sounds like hard work, was it?

K: Not really, it was over quite quickly.

J: Really?

K: For the photo shoot in full dress it was like, 'flash..flash..Ok, finished'. It felt like a waste of all the make up I was wearing. Like, 'Isn't there anything else?' haha.

J: Ah, if only you could've have done more...But when you were finished with all that, they made it into a moving person?

K: Well, yeh, it has the kind of atmosphere as if its in a game.

J, T: Ehh?

T: What are the facial expressions like?

K: It wasn't possible to go as far as making different facial expressions. Well, i mean, you could do that if you had the time, but we didn't...

J: This time you didn't go that far? But its the first time for Dir to try this kind of thing, right?

K: Yeah.

J: Was there any kind of catalyst that made you think, 'Lets do this'?

K: Well, there was a kind offer saying like, 'We can do this kind of thing'..

J: A suggestion came, and you decided to give it a go?

K: Yeah, thats it, kinda like that.

J, T: Ahhh.

J: You know, this is...

T: It looks interesting.

J: Its exciting, right?

K: When I was playing, there was a pointer right in the position that I usually hold my guitar, so they asked me if I could change the position.

J: Ah, the the postion you play the guitar?

K: Yeah. They tried to help me change the position, but it was still interfering, so I ended up playing up here at chest level, which would nomally be impossible, haha.

T: Hahaha

J: Pretty high up, its not very Kaoru style, is it?

K: I think it'll be a sight to see.

T, J: Hahaha.

K: Its soo high up! Haha

T, J: Hahaha.

J: By the way, are you influenced by anyone in particular as to the position in which you hold your guitar?

K: No, its just the best position I can play in, based on the size of my guitar.

J: Ah, I see. But somehow you ended up playing up here while filming this mv?

K: Yeah, well..I had to raise the position a bit.

J: Ahh, did the other members have to change anything?

K: No

J: Just you? Because it got in the way of the pointers?

K: Yeah.

J: Ahh, really? Die always plays quite low down doesn't he?

K: Yeah, he does. When we first put on all those pointers and mimicked playing the instruments, it came up on screen as just like moving lines. Even just looking at that, I could tell it was Die straight away.

J, T: Ehhh.

K: The shape on screen looked just like Die.

T: Thats pretty interesting.

J: He's very characteristic, isn't he? How do you film the drums? With pointers on them?

K: Haha, pretty tough, right? We had to use a photo of the drums and stick them on.

J: It seems like drums would be the most difficult to play by air. Or was it not that bad?

K: Well, if the positions of the pointers were set then...

K: Ahh, and it was over very quickly?

K: Yes　

J: And you were holding your guitar up here? I say that, but I don't know how good it looks *1, haha. Well, if i had to choose, playing it lower down probably seems cooler. There was a lot of people in the 90s playing guitar like that, right? Punks and stuff. They played it quite low down. There isn't anyone who plays it up high, is there?

K: No, not really.

J: How about actually holding it like that, Kaoru?

K: It would be pretty difficult to play.

J: It could be the 'Kaoru position'.

T: Haha.

J: The cool position!

T: Haha

K: Yeah.

J: Im looking forward to this.

T: The song is the new single 'Ochita koto no aru sora'?

K: Yeah.

J: Are you gonna test this out once and see the reaction, then maybe do more?

K: I think it would be interesting if we could spend a bit more time on it, and brush up the backgrounds and stuff.

J: You might be able to make new creations using only this. I am looking forward to this.

T: The broadcast will start at 23:00, ohh so its gonna be on as the year changes.

J: Yes.

K: First we'll show the same footage that was in the explosion screening, and then after the year changes we'll appear, and then play this mv.

J: Ah, I see.

K: During the live broadcast with the members, we'll play this. And then we'll kinda talk a bit.

J: I see.

T: This is a great way to bring in the new year for the people watching.

J: Right? There wasn't much good news in.2020, so they will really appreciate this piece of hope appearing at the end of the year. They'll be looking out for the postion of the guitars!

T: The same position as ???*2

J: Thats it.

K: It seems like Kami had no interest in this topic.

J: Isn't he here today? Are you there, Kami?

Kami: Yes, I'm here. I've seen it too.

J: You've seen it?!

T: Have you?!

Kami: Yes, I have.

J: Cause he's a god, right? He's different from humans.

K: He sees what we see.

Kami: Because gods have power.

J: Power? Even low grade ones?

Kami: But, no, it was very interesting.

J: You enjoyed it?

Kami: I did enjoy it, it was cool.

J: Did you notice anything about the postion Kaoru was holding his guitar?

Kami: Ah, no, not really.

J: Haha, didn't you? As a god, is there any scenes you would recommend to watch out for? Or any points to pay attention to?

Kami: Well, of course the images were good, but I really thought the song was good. Dir en grey are good at writing songs.

J, T: Hahaha.

K: Thanks, haha.

Kami: I think you have talent.

K: We're good, right?

J: Yeah! He's acting like a judge.

Kami: Thats because Im a god.

J: Well, yeah. Haha, saying, 'You're good at writing songs' to a pro. Thats a first. But thats just like Kami. So, you liked the visuals, but you heard the song again in a new light?

Kami: It was fun.

J: Ah, it was fun? Thank you.

T: How about making a Kami avatar?

K: Ah, yeh.

J: We've never seen what Kami looks like..

Kami: I can't show you that yet.

K: We could make an avatar, and then have it come on screen, when he's here.

T: Yeah, like in this area of the screen.

J: Yeah! If its technically possible.

K: Tasai could create the character.

T: Hahaha.

J: Like his legendary..Oh, lets do that.

T: But I can't draw him, I need to see him. Otherwise I'd have to imagine what he looks like.

K: Yeah, just draw it from imagination.

T: Like my own image of Kami?

J: Yeah, something like that. Well, in that case we could each try drawing him..

K: Even if it isn't a moving character, we could put it up on that line that appears when Kami talks..

J: Yeah, I see.

Kami: Im just a regular old guy.

K, T, J: Hahaha

K: Well, we know that...

J: Yeah, from what we've heard from him so far, we can gather that.

T: Thats it. I could kinda get an image of him by listening to all of his stories.

K: A combined picture of him.

J: Or a loud talk session with him. Thats not nice to think about, is it? haha

K: Yeah, with that voice, it might be a bit tough.

J: Haha, yeh, it would be exhausting.

K: Yeah.

J: Yeh..

K: Ok...well, also, this is a bit of promotion for me, but from February we will start our Explosion Screening tour of our Meguro RokumaykanGig live. We'll go all over Japan with it, and the member will also..

J: Join in, do a talk session?

K: Yeah, we'll do talk sessions.

J: You'll be there? Well, it has been announced already, so people can already check out all the info in realation to that.

K: Is that all?

J: Yeah, I think so.

K: Well, I'd love it if everyone was able to watch the live broadcast tomorrow.

J: Yep, don't miss it.

K: Ok, lets finish here for today. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1 Not sure if this bit is entirely right.

*2 Couldn't figure out.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 2x9 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

This review is dedicated to Dalila Bela, who turns 19 today. Happy birthday!

After a long wait, there she is at last - Muriel Stacy, decorating her new home with potato stamps. What a lovely way to show she is a kindred spirit. She’s basically like an older Anne. 

Marilla and Anne utter the same words upon passing Miss Stacy, who is cycling in the opposite direction at top speed - ‘My heavens!’ - except their intonations are so different. Marilla is shocked at the sight of the unconventional-looking stranger, while Anne is in awe of her, and especially the fact that she’s wearing trousers. I don’t think the women of Avonlea, be they progressive mothers or not, won’t be so fascinated with her, though.

And again, Miss Stacy acts exactly like an older Anne, going on and on about potatoes and tardiness and motorbikes before she’s even caught a breath. I can’t wait for Anne to finally meet her. And that concludes the cold open. 

I don’t care what Prissy and Josie, or their mothers, say about Miss Stacy- I’m with Anne on this one. They shouldn’t judge their new teacher before they’ve met her up close. She’ll warm her way into their hearts, I’m sure. I actually know it for a fact.

I simply cannot believe Billy brought a gun to school and is openly proclaiming he’s about to kill an animal, a living being, with it. And it’s not just any animal - it’s the fox, Anne’s fox. What has it done to him that he’s so personally violent towards it?

Again, Gilbert alone is the voice of reason (unlike season 3 Gilbert, who is the most confused individual I’ve ever seen and has the eyebrows to prove it). ‘There’s no fox here, so how about you put the gun away?’ It’s as if he speaks for me. 

Who does Billy think he is, calling his teacher ‘little lady’? He’s lucky she’s not Phillips, otherwise he wouldn’t get away with such disrespectful behaviour. 

Once again Anne uses the exact same words as someone else, but with a different intonation. Prim and proper Tillie’s ‘Oh my goodness!’ is one of disapproval (which she’s not to blame for, that’s probably just what her parents have taught her), while Anne’s is an expression of pure admiration and fascination. [Side note: Let’s put things into perspective, though - what would you think if your new teacher showed up to school with no bra on, on her first day at that? I don’t really know what to think of corsets anymore, so I’m not sure how to take this. You tell me.]

What, now Matthew and Jerry, two of my favourite AWAE men, want to catch the fox too? I understand it’s stealing people’s chickens, but hey, a fox must eat too, and it’s not like it can get its food in another way.

What’s happening to Bash? Is farm life not his speed? I’m worried about him, I hope he’s alright. 

For this next scene, the introductions, I’ll insert a note from when I first watched this episode. I notice I’ve been doing that a lot lately, but well, it seems I’ve got quite a lot of first impression notes on this season written down, so why not make them public now, here where it’s appropriate? Here goes:

And, just as I was fascinated, things got dramatically bad. Anne wouldn’t stop saying quite private things about everyone who spoke, and Miss Stacy reprimanded her for spreading gossip, resulting in her being unable to come up with words to describe herself (the method used for introductions was everyone would use words starting with their initials to describe themselves. I really wanted to know what Anne would have said about herself, as nobody else seemed to struggle much with the exercise (although I myself always do when asked to do it).

Alright, now I’d like to add something to this. When Ruby describes herself as ‘romantic’ and looked for a G word for ‘Gillis’, I could swear she thought of a certain young man right to her left - heck, she even looked at him before quickly blurting out ‘girl’. Well, yeah, she is a girl. But she’s also defining herself through Gilbert too much. I hope she knows how much potential she has beyond him. Besides, he only has eyes for Anne. I wish we’d got another season so we could see how far Ruby and Moody go. I liked them, but we saw too little of them together. #renewannewithane

Ok, but... it was like Miss Stacy just finished Anne’s sentence. ‘Ruby has a crush on...’ ‘Gilbert Blythe?’ Well, yes, but that’s not what we’re talking about. See, I’m noticing details I did not deem significant enough to note down the first time around. This is what rewatches are for. 

Rachel Lynde needs Marilla’s help. That’s a first. Oh, well, it’s rumours, what else. She’s against Miss Stacy. I really don’t like her right now. 

No, seriously, what is happening to Bash?

Of course, what the mothers of Avonlea fail to see is that, female or not, trousers or nor, corset or not, Miss Stacy is much more capable of teaching the young minds of Avonlea school than her predecessor. Or at least she’s much more willing to educate them properly. Of course she’ll tutor Gilbert. And Anne will soon find her way into her good graces. I hope. Nay, I know it. 

‘Appalling, stupid, clueless...’ this is what I hoped wouldn’t happen, but it happened anyway. Now Anne is beating herself up for the scrape she got into by complete accident. Gosh, I hope someone can fix this.

From my old notes:  And again, Cole knows how to fix things, and he does so, brilliantly I would say. Also, with the way he goes out into the nature, raises his hands and shouts out “Come to me, Muse!”, I can totally see him being a pagan... and who’s to say he’s not? I mean, Anne has the makings of one too, remember the Beltane ritual in season 3?

Rachel’s only job seems to be to stick her nose in other people’s business. She has no right to go around asking about Muriel’s marital status and whether she wants to be an old maid. But as anyone who’s watched the full series knows, this will be carried over into season 3.

Seriously, Rachel right now reminds me of Anne earlier with all the gossip, and I see now why she (Anne) made such a bad impression on Miss Stacy. Unfortunately, she (Miss Stacy) cannot assign Rachel Lynde an essay.

Anne’s mind is all taken over by the fox... so much that she’s fallen asleep over her papers... and now, disaster after disaster lead to a small fire, which grows into a bigger fire. If Anne’s essay burns in it, I’ll literally cry. I know a thing or two about lost work. Why, half of this very post I had to write a second time after my computer decided to restart the page with the unsaved draft open. But hey, this is not about me. 

So I guess they’ve figuratively and literally forced Miss Stacy into a corset. That’s sad. But I see she’s not giving up on her unique identity.

Oh, great, now the found brothers are fighting. I guess it turns out Bash’s problem is he���s inexperienced in farming and he needs help, but Gilbert is pursuing his own future now and doesn’t seem to care all that much. I feel bad for Bash. But we know Gilbert will stay at least another year and Bash will figure farming out by the time he has to leave. 

Ah, I see Anne is feigning sickness so as not to go back to Miss Stacy after yesterday’s fiasco. Well, I’d do the same if I were her, but I’m not quite sure that’s the best solution to the problem at hand. Marilla’s suggestion seems much better to me. Going together so Anne has someone to vouch for her... reasonable and concerned like a true mother.

I see Bash is trying to figure out horse-riding on his own. It looks tough. But he can manage it. 

It’s a shame Jerry won’t help Anne with the trap... but well, he was promised good money, and his large family is so poor... the ends sort of justify the means here. Still, Matthew is not in the right to plan on skinning the fox for money. 

Gosh, things are heating up between Shirbert. Anne seems to be all the more determined to find and develop her vocation now that Gilbert is working on his. And he doesn’t seem to care much about her feelings right now, being so busy studying and all. But I wonder how this whole thing really makes him feel. 

Hey, there are the potato light bulbs! The first science lessons Miss Stacy teaches the class. And they never forget it. How inspiring!

Hey, I just realised something. In her ramble in the cold open, Miss Stacy mentioned that you can use potatoes for a lot of purposes... well, here’s the second one she demonstrates in this episode. Stamps and... lighting a bulb.

Marilla, who took up Miss Stacy’s offer to stay and observe, seems to be a new supporter of the young teacher. See? If people only gave her a chance and saw what she does and how she does it, she might soon be a hit in town. But no, some choose to condemn her instead, as if she’s ever done them wrong. Just like the fox. Except the fox stole some chickens. Miss Stacy is perfectly innocent. 

And... poor clumsy Moody had to ruin everything just as Rachel and the ProgressiveTM mothers came in. Too bad. But hey, it’s him who recalled this very first lesson later on when they were graduating, isn’t it? 

Hey, Bash has gone to see Mary. Things are getting serious. I guess.

Alas, the mothers are not too pleased with how the lesson turned out. Luckily, Marilla was there to see the whole thing from beginning to end and can support Miss Stacy in front of the rest of the women. And it seems Gilbert and Anne are ready to step in and defend her as well. On their second day with her. That speaks volumes. 

Oh, so he’s visiting Mary to talk about Gilbert. But he also talks about himself and his idea to go deep into farming. His story is truly an inspiring one. And also, he’s staying with Mary for supper. As I said, things are getting serious. 

Anne decided to show Miss Stacy the story clubhouse... nice. But she’s made another blunder in doing so. She’s forgotten Cole is hiding there from his parents. And now they’ll force him into farming again... as my younger self said when I saw this for the first time, ‘this episode is one of the most devastatingly dramatic ones of this series – ever. What a way to lead up to the season finale’. I think that says it all. 

Ah, yes, nobody told Gilbert that Bash wouldn’t be home for supper this evening. Too bad... now he’ll think Bash has run away on him. Meanwhile, Bash is having a good time with Mary. But there’s no way for Gilbert to know that. How unfortunate. 

One shot, one gunshot and... wait, it seems the fox has not been killed yet. But the poor clubhouse... Billy is the worst person in this series, hands down. I can’t even. I’m crying. Real tears. Right now.

See, Anne’s blunder was not telling Miss Stacy about Cole. After all, she swore her to secrecy. But it was a blunder nonetheless because Miss Stacy takes her duty as a teacher more seriously than her promise to Anne. If only she’d known the full story... Cole might have been saved. 

Miss Stacy riding with Harmon Andrews... I wonder what Rachel, aka the Avonlea yellow pages, will make of that. 

‘Sometimes you just have to use your imagination.’ This is powerful because it comes from Marilla. Also, perhaps this is the hidden sense of humour that L.M.Montgomery talked about in the book, which I’m currently rereading. 

I can’t, I just can’t. Now Cole feels betrayed by Anne, and Anne is devastated about the clubhouse.... and the women of Avonlea are against Miss Stacy, and Matthew disappointed Anne... can nobody be happy in this episode? It’s truly tragical and devastating. I should not have opted for rewatching it right before going to bed, on a school night at that. How will I sleep now?

Gosh, Cole really has had it now. I’m not saying Billy Andrews did not deserve it (he did and he does), but violence is never the answer. Still, I guess it’s justified now. Too bad it will probably lead to even more trouble for Cole. See, even he’s scared of what he’s done. He surely didn’t mean for it to go that far. And to the creators - this is no way to end an episode.

Let’s sum up: we meet Miss Stacy; intonation matters; the fox is in danger; Billy the bully has a weapon now - how bad can things get?; Bash struggles with farming; Anne accidentally makes a bad impression on a kindred spirit; appalling, stupid, clueless; ‘Come to me, Muse!’; Rachel Lynde sticks her nose into things that are not her business - what else is new; potato light bulbs; Bash visits Mary; the clubhouse is destroyed; Anne accidentally betrays Cole, leading to dramatic consequences; a disastrous ending to a devastating episode.

[bssaz97]

Great here’s one to combat jaune’s growing sadness and depression ruby and the others have decided to make jaune a “happy room” with the sole purpose to make jaune happy and smile but jaune being the sad boi he is doesn’t want to use it which leads to an awkward situation where the girls have to literally drag jaune there kicking and screaming thank you for reading this have an awesome day

The Happy Place

Jaune: Guys where are we going? And why do I need to be blindfolded?

Ruby: You’ll see soon enough. And no peeking otherwise that’ll ruin the surprise.

Nora: Alright here we are!

Jaune could hear one of them opening a door and then feels one of them pull him inside. Once he assumed was inside of the room Jaune heard the sound of the door being shut.

Ruby: Ok, now you can take the blindfold off!

Jaune does as instructed and takes off the blindfold with relative ease. When the darkness of the blindfold is removed his eyes begin to focus on the environment around him. When his vision is back to focus, he sees that it was not only Ruby and Nora in the room with him, but Ren, Oscar, Yang, Weiss, and Blake too.

Everyone: Surprise!

Ruby: What do you think?

Jaune: .....what am I supposed to be looking at here?

Nora: The room silly.

Jaune starts looking side to side and started to notice a certain amount of detail that had been put into this room. Specially things he sees are a stack of comics, a gaming setup, various action figures, various posters, and even a bubble chair. This room looked like an ideal place for a young man to relax in. Which begs the question.

Jaune: What’s this all about? I mean I get it’s a cool looking room but that doesn’t really explain what this surprise is about.

Weiss: *rubs face* Oh for the love of-Ruby, can you explain the purpose of this room to him please? I don’t wish to ruin the moment by playing 20 questions.

Ruby: Ok... Jaune, we’ve had this idea for awhile and now that it seems like we’ll be here for awhile, we all put some effort into making this room for you. *arms gestures to the entire room, even doing a little twirl*

Jaune: .....you all made this room...for me?

Ren: That’s correct. We know that we’re not used to being in one place for too long as of late so to help with this, we’ve put in the effort to making a room for you to relax in when you feel the need to wind down.

Yang: Or if you’re down in the dumps or stressed, you can come here and take your mind off of things.

Blake: Plus we’ve taken the liberty of placing some snacks you may like.

That said, Blake opens up a pantry that has various snacks (chips, cookies, and cereal boxes, etc.) Weiss also kneels down time open up a mini fridge with various types of drinks (bottled water, sodas, and juice, etc.)

Weiss: With refreshments.

Oscar: We’ve asked Ironwood to also add free CCT connection in here so that you can contact any of us in case you want any company. Basically what we decided to call this as-

Nora: Jaune’s Happy Room!

Ruby: So....what do think? *She and everyone gave big smiles*

Jaune: .....Wow. This is.....great! I mean wow, I can’t believe you guys...did this.

Nora: Yeah! We spent a lot of time and lien to pay for all the stuff in here for you to enjoy so you can go nuts whenever you feel like.

Jaune: .....REALLY? That’s amazing guys I’m so...touched.

Ruby: Alright well now that you have seen the room, why not try it out for a bit?

Jaune: *Nods* Sure...that sounds great! I really appreciate this guys. *Sits down in bubble chair* Already like it so far...

Ruby: *Giggles* Ok come on everyone let’s give him some time to enjoy himself a bit. Oh! But before I forget! *Petal bursts to a calendar on the wall* For every time you get in here, please mark on the calendar and survey sheet here so that we can see how much the room is helping or what we can improve about it.

Jaune: Ok...sounds good.

Nora: Have fun Fearless Leader! *waves*

Jaune: See you later *waves weakly*

Once the door shut, Jaune could hear the footsteps of the others walking away from the door. When he could no longer hear the footsteps, he got up from his chair and looked around him and frowned. Without a another word Jaune went to the calendar and marked today’s date and wrote on the survey (writing down that he had been there for four hours) then dropped the pen. Jaune walks over to the door and opens the door then leaves.

Two Weeks Later...

Jaune is at the training room where he was training against a sparring drone, he had the drone set to the second highest difficulty and it was really bringing him to his limit.

Jaune: Ok. ‘breathe’ you git this Jaune! Alright let’s go! *charges at the drone* HAAA!

*BZZZZZT!*

Jaune: *Stops charging* Huh?

The drone returns to its default stance and powers down. Then the entire training room powers down and concluded the training session.

Jaune: What the heck?! Why did the simulation turned off! It’s not even 2:00 in the afternoon!

Ruby: ‘Ahem!’

Jaune turns around to look behind him and sees that Ruby along with Yang, Nora and Weiss. However they did not look to be in a good mood.

Jaune: Uh, hey girls...what’s up?

Weiss: Oh don’t you ‘what’s up’ us, not after what you’ve been doing!

Jaune: ...What have I been doing?

Yang: Ruby show him.

Ruby: Jaune Arc you have been recording false information on your time in the Happy Room. In fact you haven’t spent ANY time in the room!

Jaune: What are you talking about...I spend time there, Nora you’ve seen me go there!

Nora: I wanted to believe you. But you broke mah heart Jaune. You BROKE MAH HEART!

Jaune: Girls come on. Why would I lie about going into the room? Besides I have been in the room, maybe spent not as much time as you all may want but I have been there! And I use it, the entry proves it.

Ruby: Maybe...but there’s one flaw in your explanation.

Jaune: ...And that is?

Ruby: *Leans in* The gaming monitor keep track of the amount of time you’ve used it, all the comics are untouched, and ALL the snacks and drinks are all unopened.

Jaune: .....Ok fine! I haven’t been using the room, I’m sorry! I just-I feel like you guys are treating me like a kid! All the stuff in there is what a teenage boy would like!

Yang: Jaune we didn’t make that room to make fun of you, we did it because we care about you! Look...nobody wanted to say it but I’m saying it. You have a problem Jaune, and like or not all that depression and stress is going to hurt you in the long run. Our Dad went down this road and it didn’t do him any good by just ignoring the problem!

Ruby: Jaune please, we’re asking you as friends. Use the room, because we care about you!

Jaune: *sad face* .....Girls I....I’m sorry I didn’t know that it meant so much to you.

Nora: Well it does! So are you going to use the room now.

Jaune: Yes, yes, I’ll use the room now. I can’t guarantee that I will use it often but...I’ll try.

Weiss: That’s all we ask.

Two Days Later...

Nora: FEARLESS LEADER LET GO OF THE COLUMN!!

After not even attempting to go into the room, the girls and boys of RWBY and (J)NPR took it upon themselves to drag Jaune into the room and force him to spend time in the room. Which lead to the current situation of Jaune holding onto one of Atlas’s column beams for dear life.

Jaune: NO! I DON’T WANNA!

Weiss: JAUNE MILES ARC YOU ARE GOING INTO THAT ROOM! WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT!

Jaune: NO!

Ren: JAUNE YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD!

Jaune: THEN LET ME GO!

Blake: THIS IS RIDICULOUS! IT’S JUST A ROOM JAUNE, IT’S NOT GOING TO KILL YOU!

Jaune: IT MIGHT AS WELL!

Ruby: VOMIT BOY IF YOU DONT LET GO THIS INSTANT YOU LOSE YOUR ‘THIGHS’ PRIVILEGES FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH!

Jaune: !!! *Lets go and drops to the ground* Oof!

Ruby: Now’s our chance guys! PULL!

Jaune: *Getting dragged away* NOOO!! YOU TRICKED ME!

Meanwhile...

Ironwood walks down a hallway with Winter, Penny, Qrow, and Clover in tow.

Ironwood: So how’s the progression of Amnity Tower doing?

Winter: The progression is promising but the resistance from Robyn Hill’s end is starting to catch on.

Clover: General, I can try to talk to her again sir if you want.

Ironwood: That won’t be necessary, once we finish the tower the public will know about its purpose and all will be well.

Qrow: Surprised you still have optimism when you’ve got almost everyone in the Atlesian Council wanting your figurative head.

Ironwood: I can assure you Qrow, everything I have invested in will bring promise and hope not only to Atlas but humanity as a whole.

Jaune: I DON’T WANNA GO TO THE HAPPY ROOM! DON’T TAKE ME THERE!

The group turns their heads down the left hall where they see RWBY and (J)NPR drag Jaune Arc down the corridor.

Jaune: YOU’RE KILLING ME I TELL YOU! YOU’RE KILLING ME!

Eventually the screaming leader leaves the line of sight of Ironwood’s group.

Winter: .....

Clover: .....

Penny: .....Oh what fun they must be having!

Qrow: It’s times like this that make me wish I didn’t toss away my flask.

Ironwood: ....Winter, remind me to check again EXACTLY what Miss Rose meant by investing in a...recreational environment for Mr. Arc.

Winter: Duly noted sir.....

-Fin-

Hope you guys liked this new post, this one was a great one to write and originally was going to be more angsty than I thought but I like the way this turned out. Talk to you all later! Stay safe and be careful!

[myhockeyworld87]

Nervous Regrets - Tyler Seguin - Part 16

Word Count: 3655

POV: Tyler

Warnings: Soft Smut, swearing

Notes:  Not really anything but I like this chapter better haha. And I like the way 17 is going too. As always feedback is welcomed and appreciated. Peace. Love and Hugs Y’all

Of course, your sex hold out on (Y/N) didn’t last long at all; in fact it wasn’t even twenty-four hours. It was impossible to resist her charms when you got home from the game, and when she mentioned it would be one of the last times the two of you would be together in the house; all your resistance melted away. She fell asleep almost immediately afterwards; whereas you stayed awake watching her, paranoid that she would cramp or something worse. At some point you must have fallen asleep, for the next thing you knew you woke up and (Y/N) wasn’t next you. You panicked. “(Y/N)?” you yelled out. You listened for her answer, but nothing came. Jumping out of bed, you ran into the bathroom; thinking she was there. She wasn’t.

Dashing out of the bedroom, you shouted again. “(Y/N)! Babe, where are you?” Still no response came. You checked the kitchen, then the office; she was nowhere to be found. You were just coming from the garage checking to make sure her car was still here; when she opened the sliding glass door and came in from outside with the dogs. “Jesus, babe you scared the shit out of me? What the hell were you doing?”

 “Relax, Ty. I was just outside playing with the dogs. We waited for you, but at eight o’clock we decided to go outside without you.” She came over and kissed you. “You must have been exhausted last night to sleep through these guys this morning.”

 “I couldn’t fall asleep right away. How are you feeling?” You touched her belly and the small little life growing inside her.

 “We feel amazing. Were you worrying about us last night? I told you, I felt fine.”

 “I might have been a tad worried.” You answered her sheepishly.

 “Ty, I think that first time was a fluke; plus I promise to tell you if happens again. Now go get your butt dressed before they start coming to pack this place up. They’re supposed to be here shortly.” The movers were coming today to get the house ready for the big move tomorrow, though (Y/N) had packed some things already. “I’m going to head over to the new house here in a bit to start labeling where I want things to go. Did you want to come?”

 “Yeah, we don’t have to be at the arena until later to go over film; so, we’ll have to take two cars. We should probably take these guys to get used to the place.”

 “Ok well go get ready. I’ll make you breakfast real quick.” Heading back into the bedroom, you grabbed a quick shower; then ate the breakfast (Y/N) prepared for you. By the time you were finished the movers came and (Y/N) got them started on packing things before the two of you headed to the new place.

 The dogs were in the car with (Y/N), since she would be staying longer and then heading back to the old house later. You walked over and opened her door, before she could get out. “Sit tight boys, there’s something mom and I have to do first.” (Y/N) eyed you skeptically, hesitating as she got out of the vehicle. You scooped her up in your arms easily as you headed to the front door. “I told you I was going to do this once this house was ours.” She giggled, yet looped her arms around your neck.

 “Ty, you don’t have to do this.”

 “Yes I do. It’s tradition, plus I like carrying you.” The two of you stepped across the threshold of the empty house. “Not quite like the last time we saw it.”

 “Nope, it’s better; because it’s ours.” She brought your lips down to hers in a kiss that left you breathless; though she pulled away too soon. “Ok put me down so we can go get the rest of the gang.” Setting her down you headed back out to the car to the dogs. “Ty, would you grab my stuff in the back.”

 You kept the guys on their leash until they got the lay of the land. “I’m going to go take them out in the back; so they get a feel for the yard.” She nodded then started taking her pre-made labels and placed them throughout the kitchen. By the time you came back into the house, about thirty minutes later; the kitchen was littered with pink post-its. “Geez babe, this is a lot.”

 “Well I talked to the designer last week, and she suggested doing these so things could be placed where we wanted; when they unpack.” She surveyed the room. “Yeah I may have gone a bit overboard.”

 “Maybe a bit.” As you looked at the labels, you saw where she had the silverware drawer labeled, where the dishes should go, as well as the wine glasses. Everything had a placed marked, it was probably a smart idea. “Did you do this for every room?”

 “Well just the main ones. You know our bathroom, the bedroom and a couple other things. I’ll let her do the rest. Though it feels weird telling someone where my underwear should go; so I’m bringing those and some other personal things over myself.”

 “Just don’t overdo it. In fact, you should wait till I get back and I’ll bring whatever you want over.” The dogs start roaming around the house, though Cash stayed beside both you and (Y/N).

 “I’m sure Cash and I can handle it.” You frowned at her. “But I guess we can wait for you too. What time is Jamie’s party tomorrow night? I’m trying to figure out where and how we can get ready for this thing in the midst of the move.”

 “It starts at eight. I’ll talk to Jamie and maybe we can just all get ready over there; it would probably be the easiest.” You bent down and scratched Cash’s ears. “I gotta run, or I’ll be late. It should only be a couple hours. I’ll meet you back at the old house around two.”

 “Sounds good hun.” She leaned over and kissed you soundly, before you turned to head out the door. “Come on Cash, let’s go label the closet.” You heard her saying as you shut the front door.

  By the time you returned home at two-thirty, most of the house was packed up. There were boxes everywhere; and it looked like a UPS store instead of a home. The dogs were sitting by the door outside, whining to be let in; but you knew that probably wasn’t a good idea with the chaos going on inside. At least a dozen or more people where shuffling furniture here and there, some of it being carried out to the truck that was parked in your driveway. It took you a good ten minutes before you found (Y/N). “Looks like they are making good progress.” She was on the phone, yet gave you a quick kiss before she continued her conversation. You had a quick chat with the head mover who explained things were moving ahead of schedule and wanted to know if you wanted them to start moving everything out of the house. Which meant there would probably be nothing here for the two of you tonight. Not wanting to make that decision you said you needed to speak to your girlfriend first. Patiently you waited for her to get off the phone.

 “Tell me again, why we are moving right now?” She breathed as she hung up the phone. “I just spent the last twenty minutes talking to the furniture store about when the new bed and stuff will arrive and at the moment, they can’t be sure.”

 “Isn’t that the designer’s job?”

 “Well I haven’t been able to find her since I came back. Apparently, she went to handle another crisis with the kitchen table. I don’t even want to know about it right now. Everything’s a cluster fuck.”

 “Then I suppose you don’t want me to ask if the movers should take the bedroom and put it in the truck right now.” She looked on the verge of tears, so, you grabbed her waist and pulled her close to your chest. “Babe, just breath, everything will be fine.”

 “How is it going to be fine? They can’t find our new bed; they want to take our old one. Where are we going to sleep Ty? Oh, and they broke a set of the dishes.”

 “We’ll buy new ones. It’s not that big a deal.” You stroked her head soothingly, hoping to calm her down. “And we’ll just have him take the bed in the morning; or we can sleep in a hotel. Whatever you want to do? Just stop stressing, it’s not good for you or the baby.” You could feel her relax a bit in your arms as you peppered her forehead with kisses. “Did you have lunch?”

 She looked up at you, searching her mind for the answer to your question. “Ummm…now that I think of it no.”

 “Babe, you need to eat. You’re probably just hangry right now.” She gave you her famous side eye; the one she reserved for when you’d said something she didn’t like. “Ok, here’s what we are going to do; I’m going to go talk to the movers. I’ll tell them to leave the mattress, and tv. We’ll camp out here tonight one last time. Then you and I are going to go grab something to eat.”

 “What about the dogs? We can’t leave them here; they’re sort of freaking out with everyone going in and out of the house. That’s why I put them in the backyard.”

 “We’ll go to the café, where we can sit outside with them. See its fine.” You tried to keep your voice nice and calm as you spoke. “As for the rest of it, we’ll deal with it as it comes. Ok?” She nodded her agreement. “Alright, you go get the dogs and I’ll speak to the movers.” Tapping her on the butt, you sent her on her way.

 An hour later you were seated outside the quaint little café, when (Y/N)’s phone rang. “It’s the designer.” Silently you’d hoped she had good news, as (Y/N) was finally starting to forget about all the chaos going on.

 “Put her on speaker.”

 “Mr. and Mrs. Seguin, I wanted to give you an update on how things are going.” When you’d first hired the designer she had the impression you and (Y/N) were married. The fact that (Y/N) never corrected her pleased you beyond words. “So good news, they found the new bedroom set and bed. It was on the truck ready to be delivered tomorrow morning.” Visibly, you saw (Y/N) breathe out a sigh of a relief. “I know that’s a huge relief to you. Unfortunately, I don’t have good news on the kitchen table. They actually made it the wrong height; which I’m not sure how that happened, as I double checked the measurements myself. They’ve assured me that they’ll have a new one ready within forty-eight hours.”

 Hoping to prevent (Y/N) from freaking out, you answered. “Well we can live without a kitchen table that long. We can eat at the island.”

 “That’s very true, Mr. Seguin. The movers should be finished getting all the furniture out of the house within the hour. I know that’s not what our original timeframe looked like; but since you had a lot of stuff already packed, it was easier than they expected. They have left the mattress and a few things per your request. They’ll be at the new house around nine in the morning if that’s good with both of you.”

 “That sounds perfect. Thank you so much for everything.” (Y/N) hung up with the designer, with those final words. “Well looks like we’ll be camping out tonight.”

 “It will be fun. We can pretend we’re at the lake house; sleeping under the stars.” She didn’t seemed convinced that it would be as much fun, as the picture you were trying to paint.

 “I just thought our last night in this house would be different.”

 “I thought you weren’t really in love with that place?” She’d been none too thrilled when you made her move into the house after the accident; knew it held bad memories for you both.

 “Well, I didn’t initially want to go back and live there, after everything that happened. But, over the last few weeks, it just reminds me of all the happy times we spent there.” A ghost of smile played across her lips. “I guess I just wanted to have one last nice dinner there with you, or something along those lines. I just wasn’t thinking though; everything would be packed up anyhow. It was stupid.”

 “Babe, it’s not stupid. We can still have a nice night tonight. We’ll make it special, I promise.” You weren’t exactly sure how you were going to do that but you’d do anything to make her happy. “Come on, let’s head back over to the house; grab those boxes you wanted to take over, and get them unpacked.”

 “Alright.” A plan started to formulate in your head on the drive over. Finding the designer, you pulled her and the mover aside to ask them a few favors; while (Y/N) was busy answering a few other questions. You loaded the car up with the stuff (Y/N) wanted to move in personally and headed over to the new house with her. It took about an hour longer than expected, as you were trying to give extra time for your plan to be implemented. Finally around seven, you all headed back to the old house for the evening.

 When you walked in the door, (Y/N) gasped. “What the…?” Your mind echoed her exact sentiments. The movers had moved your mattresses onto the living room floor; while the designer had transformed the living room into a romantic setting. There were twinkle lights strung up along the ceiling; a small table and two chairs draped in fabric, set off to the side of the room for the two of you to eat the dinner you’d ordered out. She’d also had the mattress covered in vibrant pillows and blankets; almost as if you were on an intimate camping trip in India. The designer had definitely gone all out, and you’d definitely be compensating her, for all her troubles. (Y/N)’s eyes sparkled as she surveyed the room. “Ty, did you do this?”

 “Well, obviously I didn’t do it; but it was my idea.”

 “Oh my god, Ty it’s perfect.” She went up on her tippy toes and kissed you. “This is like some sort of dream.”

 “You said you wanted tonight to be special.” Holding her around the waist, you deepened the kiss; letting (Y/N) know how much you loved her. The doorbell rang and the two of you broke apart. “That must be dinner.” It wasn’t the same as making one last dinner in the kitchen, but it was from (Y/N)’s favorite restaurant.

 ��I can’t believe you did all this for me.” She was taking the food out of the containers and placing them on the plastic plates that had been left out on the table. “The chicken Madeira smells wonderful. Babe, you’re the best. I love you so much.”

 “I love you too, (Y/N).” Wrapping your arms around her, you asked. “Are you happy?”

 “You know if someone would’ve asked me that six or seven weeks ago; I would’ve told them, I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again. But right now, in this moment; I’ve never been happier.” She leaned back into your chest. “It’s all because of you, you know?”

 You rubbed the baby, growing inside her. “I think it’s both of us babe; and well maybe this one right here too. I gotta agree with you, this is the happiest I’ve ever been. There’s only one thing that would make it better.” She looked at you questioningly. “For you to marry me, and before you start; I’m not asking. I’m just putting it in your head to think about.”

 “I know Ty. We just need some more time.”

 Tamping down a frustrated sigh, you said. “You’re right. We’ve got all the time in the world babe. I’m not going anywhere. Well, except to the new house; but we’re all going there. Come on let’s eat before this gets cold.” Dinner was amazing, as the two of you talked about what room to make the baby’s and when you were going to go shopping for all the furniture. Once you’d both eaten and had desserts, you looked at the beautiful woman sitting across from you. “Dance with me?”

 “What...There’s no music?”

 “We don’t need any, but if you insist.” Pulling out your phone, you scrolled through the playlist, until you found a slow song; then hit play. “Shall we?” She took the hand you offered, and you swept her into your arms, and swayed to the music. Leaning down, you kissed her forehead, as the two of you twirled around the living room. You spun her around, then dipped her back in your arms; giving you a nice view of her cleavage. With the make shift bed behind you, you gently laid her on the mattress; then leaned down and kissed her.

 She tasted faintly of chocolate from the dessert you’d just shared, as you swept your tongue inside. Her hands skated down your back, untucking your shirt so she could feel your skin. You pressed your hips into her and she moaned. “Mmmm...you feel so good Ty.” Nibbling down her neck, you ran your hands along the sides of her body, softly caressing her as you went. Wiggling a hand between your bodies, you cupped her sex feeling the warmth there. Your fingers stroked her through her leggings, and her nails dug into your back. She was panting, wanting more; hips rocking into the palm of your hand. “Ty...I...need...”

 “Shhh, babe. I know what you need.” You slipped your fingers into her waistband, and found her clit; flicking the little nub with your thumb as you slid two fingers into her. “God, I love how wet you always are for me. Do you know what that does to me?” You pressed your hard cock into her, letting her know how much you wanted her, as you scissored your fingers inside her. She moaned louder, the sound drowning out the music playing in the background. She jerked up seeking more. “Come on baby. Cum for me.” Your thumb pressed down on her clit, as your fingers hit her g-spot and she screamed. Legs shaking, as her pussy contracted around your fingers. You pumped your fingers in and out gently as she came down from her orgasm.

 She kissed you hard, as you slipped your fingers out of her; and she whimpered into your mouth. Her hands went down to your shorts, pulling them down. “I need you inside me...now!”

 “Greedy, aren’t you baby?” She lifted her hips as you took off the leggings; both of you still clothed from the waist up.

 Her hand wrapped around your cock. She stroked the hard length and you sucked in a breath through your teeth; her movements going faster aa you pumped into her palm. “Who’s greedy?”

 “Stop teasing me babe.” Taking your hand, you nudged her legs further apart. Placing your cock at her entrance, you thrust slowly into her; she sighed. She wrapped her legs around you, pulling you deeper into her. “Damn, you feel so good (Y/N).”

 She rained kisses along your jawline, as you started to pump in and out of her. The two of you building up a rhythm; your hard shaft pounding into her wet pussy. The sounds of your love making filling the room. She bucked up against you causing you to drive into her harder and faster, until you were both moaning. (Y/N) shattered first, her orgasm sweeping over her body, as she writhed from side to side. You swallowed her moans in a passionate kiss, as she quivered around your cock; and with one last thrust, you followed her into bliss.

 Both of you were breathing heavily as you rolled onto your side, taking (Y/N) with you. “I think I can safely say we are leaving this house with a good memory.” She whispered, as she dropped a kiss on your lips.

 “Agreed, babe. Though it’s been awhile since we were both so rushed we didn’t fully undress.” You were playing with the hem of her t-shirt, trying to get it off of her.

 “Mmmm. It’s like we’re teenagers afraid to get caught.”

 You laughed at her words. “Well, there’s no one here to catch us but the dogs; so, we can get rid of this now.” Slowly she sat up and removed her shirt and bra, then laid back down beside you.

 “Ummm, what about you there Mr. Seguin?”

 “Your wish is my command Miss (Y/LN).” You whipped the shirt off, tossing it across the room. Then loomed over her body, raining kisses all over her; making your way down to the baby, where you placed your lips reverently. “Hi little one. Are you ready to move into your new home? You’ll never get to see this one, but someday I’m going to tell you all about it. Even the part where daddy was stupid, but don’t worry I’m never going to be dumb again. And you and me and mommy and the dogs are going to be a big happy family in our house. I love you baby, be good in there.” You looked up to see (Y/N) smiling at you but one little tear sliding down her cheek. “I love you too, (Y/N) and can’t wait to start this next part of our lives together.”

[nyrator]

some more ny life updates, feat. MBTI stuff, dreams, financial decisions, ACNH checklists, and Radiohead opinions

incredibly depressed lately to be honest, but trying not to be too depressed for this post- basically a place to vent without being super negative because it be public and stuff, helps calm me down, maybe

helping other people with depression is too hard for me, I think. Feels bad to distance myself, but I think avoiding rumination is all I can do when it gets to that point

decided to re-take one of those personality things recently because why not, friends were doing it. I don’t hold much weight to them personally but at least I seem to be consistently this result every few years

for reference, an earlier test:

https://www.16personalities.com/istp-personality

reading through the weaknesses and romantic parts, it almost eerie how it describes me. It’s wrong on the sex part, but feels right just about everywhere else. They even quote me on saying this at the end part. The nice thing is, apparently Kresna’s personality result is my ideal match, which is fitting.

I tend to think my personality is a very flawed one, unfortunately, at least when it comes to social relationships. I don’t like being flattered or praised, nor do I tend to show appreciation to those that deserve it, I feel. Feeling people are slighted by my lack of attention or affection for them more and more.

Energy in general is such a hard thing to grasp. Lately I just can’t seem to do or focus on anything, nor do I have any strong desires to do anything. Feels hard to draw or make anything, and I’m wondering how I’ll finish up that Artfight thing. All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep, maybe just change my sleep schedule and only be awake when no one else is, and just keep to myself

been laying in bed a lot lately, and I’ve noticed a trend in actually having dreams when I’m taking a nap- or at least, that weird “trying to take a nap but keeping eyes half-open basically because I don’t actually want to fall asleep” zone

both dreams I had this week involved different things that I forget, but the core part was basically my family assaulting me, pinning me to the wall, and speaking my darkest secrets into my ear.

First one was my late sister being a prick and possibly uncovering my secret and me trying to get rid of her, while her boyfriend grabs me by the throat and lifts me off the ground into the wall as she mocks me. Second one that I just had earlier tonight, I don’t even remember the context, but basically had my mother disgusted by me, forcefully pinning my arm behind my back and slamming me face first into a wall, telling me she’s aware and disgusted by all my secrets.

Earlier this month, I also had one of my first dreams in months, but it was one of my reoccurring humiliation dreams. Except this time, there was blood. It was a very uncomfortable dream.

I wonder if these dreams mean anything about my psyche or whatever lately.

but yeah, have a lot of money lately, yet still feels sickening to spend money on myself still. I feel like I’ve spent too much on myself lately, and it feels bleh. I like spending money on Kresna, but he doesn’t let me do it often, but it’s always appreciated when he does.

ended up setting up an eye exam in three weeks- decided to order my own frames this time, but shopping for frames is hard. Ended up buying these two (since I always seem to have to buy two pairs for some probably insurance-related reason), but frames are extremely hard to shop for, at least for me, and that lavender look I like is extremely hard to come by

I wonder if I show my appreciation for lavender too much- I think I want to go for thicker frames like the top one, though the bottom ones are like my old frames (same company), and have that metallic lavender look that I love. If I ever had a dream car, it’d be in that color, honestly.

speaking of cars, my neighbor is trying to sell us her old 1997 Saturn for $250, but I’m not sure if I want it, to be honest- One, it’s so old, two, it’s a stick, which I only have basic knowledge on how to drive, and three, I don’t like driving. I think my mother told her yes, which is unfortunate, but we’ll see how it goes.

some other financial decisions lately- bedding, bottles, and slippers (not shown- the more convenient backless purple slippers I now regularly wear, as well as more personal items)

throw pillows are good for holding while sleeping and for preventing my arms from waking up entirely numb sometimes

been thinking about buying more clothes and furniture, but now that I probably won’t be getting the extra $1000 with my unemployment, it’s even harder to justify buying anything. I’d like a new desk, at least- something able to display things would be nice. My boss told me I’ll be going back to work soon hopefully, so that would be nice, especially since this virus is a good excuse to not bring back my coworker and to give me full-time hours, but even then, spending money is hard. Been thinking about a new mousepad since I’ve had this old one for longer than I can remember (probably a college gift), but even something simple like that is tough.

in other random news, slowly trying to make progress in ACNH still- and by that I mean I’ve finally started keeping a checklist for items (had Bugs/Fish already, but now have DIYs and man there’s so many DIYs I’m missing, also Dresses - Umbrella tabs of clothing, basically everything but Tops and Bottoms so far, and mannn, there’s a lot of stuff, but I basically have almost every accessory/sock/shoe in purple/pink at least, now just grinding my way through the rest of the colors I skipped. Also caught a Golden Stag today, only three beetles left (Giraffe, Hercules, and Elephant, I believe)

should probably start saving my extra bugs/fish for making models for Justin Beaver and Hot Topic, I realize- collecting those models really doesn’t interest me much, but at the same time, I have a weird obsession with trying to 100% Animal Crossing games (at a reasonable speed, of course- figure I’d wait until next year to worry about those two)

haven’t tried dreaming yet and honestly my island is still a mess that I’m still hesitant because I still have no idea what to fill it with or how to organize it

one last thing I did buy is the rest of the Radiohead albums though- I now own all their albums, except disc 2 of In Rainbows, though. Should probably listen to that on Youtube, not sure where to find a physical release of it. Decided to rank them, because I like ranking things apparently, even though overall it doesn’t mean much since my tastes shift constantly, and every album is good to listen to in my opinion (honestly more of a way of solidifying a future “best of” playlist)

Personal feelings of ranking at the moment:

Hail to the Thief (every song is top tier, I just want to shout them all out, but in particular I think “A Punchup at a Wedding“, “Myxomatosis“, “2+2=5″, and “Sit down. Stand up” are my favorites)

In Rainbows (my old favorite before HttT blew it away, though I think ”Weird Fishes/Arpeggi” is still my favorite Radiohead song, also shout outs to “Videotape” and “Jigsaw Falling Into Place”)

Kid A (I was lukewarm to the album at first, but it has a lot of tunes that stand out to me, “Idioteque” is also one of my favorite Radiohead songs, also shout outs to "Everything in Its Right Place" and "How to Disappear Completely")

OK Computer (this is where placings start getting fuzzy, “Paranoid Android” was their first song I ever listened to and loved back in high school, thanks to Ergo Proxy, great song, though I think I’ve oversaturated myself to this album by having it play as my driving music when I still had a car. Shout outs to “Exit Music (For A Film)” and “Let Down”. “Karma Police” is also up there but feels a bit less than those I suppose)

A Moon Shaped Pool (I’d place this higher when I’m looking for a more somber/reflective album to listen to, otherwise about tied with OK Computer. My favorite on the album, “Daydreaming”, is what reintroduced me to Radiohead and got me obsessed with them- this album was my first album, though it’s definitely softer compared to their usual stuff. Also driving music so a bit oversaturated, and it feels harder to shout out specific songs, but shout outs “Ful Stop”, “Glass Eyes”, and heck, basically most of the later songs on the album)

Amnesiac (Some good songs, but just not to the levels of the others. “Knives Out” is a great song though, and I tend to like the first half of the album more than the last half, last half is pretty weak to me honestly- though I got it fairly recently, so may require more listenings)

Pablo Honey (the latest album I got, so it’s still fresh in my head and thus nothing is permanent with it compared to the others, but mannn, people undersold this album, it feels solid front to back. I honestly want to put it higher, I think. Hard to identify individual songs, but shout outs to “Blow Out” in particular, “I Can’t” as well- but again, every song is great, so might say it’s close to A Moon Shaped Pool levels in rankings)

The Bends (one of their first albums I got, also a car album, but definitely didn’t click with me like the others. I have warmed up to it more than I originally did at least- I mainly got the album because heck yeah “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” is a great track, also shout outs to “The Black Star”, that’s like, one of my random “mouth out the chorus in the car” songs. I also tend to have “High and Dry” in my head a lot for some reason, but yeah, good car music, but not much else going for it I think)

The King of Limbs (the second-latest album I own and also the least listened to album I own, but it feels very... non-standout-ish. Like it’s almost too simple-sounding, or repetitive, or something, definitely the weakest album in my personal opinion. Can’t even think of a song to shout out, so I guess “Lotus Flower”, honestly, but again, I need to listen to the album more. Good background noise but just nothing that jumps out at me)

but yeah radiohead is definitely my favorite music group, I’d say, and also realize almost every album has a bonus disc, so hm, more music to find it seems (admittedly I’m not a fan of live music in general, which seems to fill up a lot of these bonus discs)

[weheart-dianelockhart]

So Little Time VI

This story might not be relevant come next Thursday (FINALLY WE MADE IT), but it sure is fun to write! Enjoy!

“Nine letters!?” This was too much for Diane to take in all at once.

“They came to the office first. You were still recovering and I didn’t want to slow anything down. So I told Kurt.” As Marissa spoke she could feel her voice becoming more tentative as Diane’s expression dropped.

She stared at the counter, not realizing her knuckles were turning white with the sheer force of her grasp on the marble.

“And then we started getting them here. After the fourth one, I consulted an agent.” Kurt continued cautiously, waiting for her to blow at any moment.

“An FBI agent?” She clarified, not raising her gaze.

“Yes. A friend of mine. I asked him to look into this guy and...”

“And what, Kurt. No secrets.” Her eyes bore into his.

“And he’s a suspected domestic terrorist.” Kurt watched closely, gaging her reaction. A single blink was all he was allowed to see. Her stomach turned in somersaults.

“After his wife died, he went nuts. Fell into a bad place and took money where he could. The Damask Gang got to him and he started doing their dirty work. He’s got access to hundreds of weapons.” Marissa chimed in, helping to fill in the gaps. Though she wasn’t sure that statement would put Diane’s mind at ease.

Diane took a step away from the counter and transitioned into a pace. The severity of the situation setting in. This was her life they were talking about. Her life that was suppose to have been taken away a mere few weeks ago. If it hadn’t been for Kurt’s perfect timing, they wouldn’t be sitting in this kitchen.

“They don’t think his vendetta against you has much to do with the gang, but he’s wanted for a lot of deaths. The FBI thought it would be best to put you under protection.” Kurt wanted to get everything on the table, meanwhile kicking himself for not telling her earlier.

“Surveillance?!” Diane spun around.

“You didn’t even notice them. They were just placed to keep you safe. And when the letters continued coming—“

“I started taking all of them to the lab for prints. But, so far, they can’t find anything.” Kurt finished Marissa’s thought.

Diane, still absorbing, returned to her bar stool. She nodded slowly.

“What did the letters say?” She asked softly, her shaky voice unrecognizable to even herself.

Marissa and Kurt hesitated. He spoke first, “The first ones were direct threats to you. Describing...” he couldn’t bring himself to finish.

“Describing what he would do to you if...you know.” Marissa had dreaded this explanation.

Kurt stared at the counter. Diane slipped her hand into his urging him to continue.

“Then they got more specific. Like he was watching you. So I upped the security and was meeting with them today to discuss their plan on moving forward.”

Diane’s spine chilled and she visibly shuttered at the thought of her every move being monitored.

“So that’s where I was today. I didn’t think it would take all afternoon and I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Diane blinked and shook her head. She could not remember a time when she had felt that petrified. The feeling was sickening.

“That day that I went back to the office. When the two of you looked like you’d seen a ghost? I’d already gotten a letter?”

Marissa held up three fingers causing Diane’s eyes to widen.

“And now this one.” Marissa held up the newest envelope. Kurt quickly took it and ripped the side. Unfolding the letter, he scanned it, his expression turning glum.

“What does it say?” Diane inched closer.

Kurt looked over the paper and gave an audible sigh.

“It’s about me.” Diane snatched the letter from his grasp and felt her heart sink as she read.

I’m becoming impatient. I can’t sit around all day and watch you prance around. You want this to go away. Fine. Let’s make a deal. That husband of yours seems like a fair trade. A life for a life. Justice.

The sound of Baker’s voice pounded through her ears. Justice. His last word before he thrust the cold blade into her abdomen. Dizziness set in and she held onto the island. Kurt was on his feet before she could think, steadying her body with one hand resting on her back and the other holding her shoulder. Marissa jumped up and poured a glass of water.

“Look, nothing is going to happen. We are under 24-hour protection and this damn fool wouldn’t dare get close to you.”

She hadn’t noticed the tears pooling in her eyes until they spilled freely. “But it sounds like he’s not afraid to come after you.”

Kurt looked to Marissa who shrugged in empathy. “Could you give us a minute.”

She gave a nod and took the letter into the living room.

“This is unfair to you,” she whispered, “It’s so unfair.”

“He won’t get to you. I won’t let him.” Kurt squeezed her hand and leaned in to find her eyes.

The guilt was unbearable. This never should have involved him. Diane sat up abruptly and pulled away. Standing and straightening her skirt, she wiped sharply at her cheeks. “You have to go.”

She turned on her heels and headed for the bedroom.

“What are you talking about?” Kurt called after her, “Diane.”

When he reached the bedroom, she was pulling out clothes from the closet and dresser. The pile on the bed was growing by the second.

“Woah, woah, Diane stop.” Kurt approached her as she brushed passed him on the way to the closet once more. Another pile of shirts was tossed at the bed.

“You can’t stay somewhere that isn’t safe.” The tears were back and her hands were shaking.

Kurt did the only thing he thought would help. He intercepted her next cross to the dresser and wrapped his arms around her. Stronger than she was, he was able to pull her close with barely any struggle. She resisted at first, whimpering at his contact, but finally relaxed into his embrace. Her knees could not hold the weight of her exhaustion and they buckled just as Kurt moved them to sit on the bed. She sat with a gasp and immediately sucked air through her teeth. Realizing she had twisted and disturbed her heeling abdomen, Kurt let her go slightly.

“Are you ok?” He squeezed her shoulders.

She started to nod, responding to the present question, but soon found herself shaking her head no. It was hard for her to distinguish what was shaking more; her hands, head, or thoughts.

“I’m not going anywhere. That’s final.” Her head was resting against his chest as her body came down from its sudden adrenaline high.

Diane couldn’t will herself to speak. Her breathing returned to her version of normal and the pain in her stomach caught her attention. Wincing, she sat up from his arms.

“I might have overdone it.” She stood and moved to the floor-length mirror. Pulling up her shirt, the bruises were revealed, still every shade from blue to yellow. Her stitches, dominating the left half of her exposed stomach, remained intact. They would continue to dissolve as the weeks progressed, according to her doctor, but they provided a constant reminder.

Kurt’s eyes followed her and soon his body did the same. Taking one wrist, he freed her from the mirror’s reflection. Placing her on the bed, he began returning the clothes to their drawers and hangers. Diane watched her husband tidy up the carnage of her panic.

“I just can’t watch you get hurt.” She spoke after a few moments of silence.

“Who said anything about getting hurt?” He kneeled in front of the bed.

“We can’t predict his next move. And if it was you I would never forgive my–“

Her sentence was severed by the sound of glass breaking in the kitchen. They froze, not breathing until they heard Marissa’s voice, “Sorry! Trying to get another glass of water!”

Restarting their breath patterns, they started chuckling at their paranoia.

“Look at us,” Diane remarked. Cupping his face, she continued as her smile faded, “This is fucking insane.”