#but i couldnt word it without it sounding like i was reaching so it mightve just been me projecting icl

[plan-3-tmars]

thinking about how in kazui's first birthday timeline he tells haruka that he enjoys his birthday because it gives him a good excuse to start a conversation with friends he hasn't seen in a while,,

"Hey, it feels like it's been a while, doesn't it? /

Oh, by the way, it's my birthday today. / Want to have a smoke together?

- 2023 Bday Timeline with Shidou

"Well, come over if you feel like it. Staying alone all the time will make you feel down. I can keep you company if you need to relieve some stress."

- 2024 Bday Timeline with Mikoto

[beatricebidelaire]

just for tonight (let me pretend)

pairing: Kit Snicket / Beatrice Baudelaire

summary: Kit and Beatrice share a dance at a masked ball.

word count: ~1.1k

alt: ao3

Beatrice and Bertrand were talking by the bar while Larry prepared the drinks, and Kit looked on from a distance.  The place was loud with music and everyone dancing to it, and it was hard to hear what they were saying. Fortunately, Kit was still able to make out the gist of their conversation from the way Beatrice’s lips moved.  Beatrice-lip-reading was actually quite easy to learn, if you spent a little time studying those lips while she talked. Or sang in the opera, of course.  Beatrice sometimes talked a lot and also sang fairly often, so it made it an even easier task.

She was talking about a letter from Lemony and how she planned to respond to it.  She started reciting a sonnet.  Kit wondered if Lemony knew how lucky he was, but then thought he must do, the way he talked about her. But he probably didn’t know how lucky he was in the aspect that he didn’t have to hide and could just talk about this freely.

He had no idea, and she would never tell him about it, ever.  Jacques was a more interesting case, probably.  They never talked about this subject either, but sometimes they didn’t need to talk about things to understand each other.  Sometimes she felt they had some kind of unspoken mutual agreement of list of things to avoid talking about. Plus, Jacques was also extremely close to certain people who Kit was sure knew, and any of them might’ve told him.

Larry handed Beatrice a drink, and of course it was root beer float, because what else could it be?  Kit closed her eyes, trying to force her feelings down, and found she couldn’t.  She needed a distraction of something, fast.  Perhaps she could use a drink herself, definitely not a root beer float, though.  When she walked over to the bar, though, complaining this to someone who might understand sounded like a tempting idea too.  “Dance with me,” she demanded at Bertrand.

He looked back at her, almost expressionless.  He didn’t cast any sideways glance at Beatrice or anything, but she felt she could still hear what he was thinking, could sense the wheels spinning inside his brain.  “No,” he rejected, flatly, and Kit wasn’t surprised.  She was, however, a little annoyed, and wanted to tell him not to interfere.  It was probably too late.

Beatrice, on the other hand, seemed slightly surprised. “That’s rude,” she admonished with a frown, then said immediately. “Dance with me, K.  Don’t mind him.”  She took Beatrice’s hand, pulling her towards the dance floor before Kit could turn back to glare at Bertrand.

“I like your choice of outfit for the masked ball,” Beatrice said, looking at Kit approvingly while guiding their moves as they reached the dance floor.

“I …. didn’t particularly dress for it?” Kit asked, perplexed.  Surely Beatrice, queen of disguises and an actress who frequented the stage often, of all people, could see that.

“Exactly,” she nodded, serious and sincere. “That’s a rather bold move, I think.  Not everyone has the courage to choose to do so.  It’s a statement, especially amongst everyone wearing similarly styled masks and dresses and suits trying to blend in.  I admire that.”

Kit blinked, not having expected that.  Beatrice liked extravagant stuff, didn’t she?  It felt odd to be complimented by Beatrice in this aspect.  Nice, but odd. Made Kit feel a little lightheaded.  “Not everyone’s in similar styled masks and dresses and suits trying to blend in,” she managed, her gaze landing on Beatrice’s dragonfly wings.

Beatrice beamed, looking delighted. It was amazing how radiant someone could look just by smiling wide.  Positively unreal.  “I know!  This dragonfly outfit is amazing, isn’t it?  One of a kind, really.”

“Yeah,” Kit agreed, feeling herself grin back at Beatrice, like some kind of reflect her body just decided to do without her brain deciding on it first. Did these dragonfly wings have magic abilities?  Sounded plausible. “Truly one of a kind.” She almost added “you are” at the end, but stopped herself in time.  They were talking about the wings, weren’t they?  Stay focused, Snicket, she told herself.

Beatrice laughed, then gave Kit a twirl.  The scenes of other people dancing flashed past for a quick second, and then Beatrice’s back in the view again, looking right into Kit’s eyes. Obviously Kit had looked at Beatrice’s eyes many times before, but she didn’t think they’d ever been in this close proximity.  It felt too close, too intimate, too direct.  It was exciting, but also a little frightening if she were to be honest.

It felt like just a few seconds, and it felt like a whole night, and then Beatrice twirled her again as the same tunes came up again.  Kit let herself enjoy the speed of the spin, and Beatrice’s firm hold on her hand. It was a nice combination, she decided.  Top quality.

They danced past Monty and Gustav and the snake resting on Monty’s shoulders.  Beatrice, with her natural affinity for animals, stopped to say hello to the snake, and let it take it climb onto her wings before climbing back onto Monty. Kit’s eyes followed the snake’s path cautiously, even though both Monty and Gustav assured her that the snake was in fact very friendly and not all lethal.

The snake climbed back onto Monty’s shoulders, and Kit and Beatrice continued dancing.  A fast song came up, and they sped up their moves accordingly. Beatrice kept changing the directions they were moving towards, completed with sudden sharp turns and dramatic stops and immediate spinning again.

It was even better than a taxi drive in the city, and Kit let herself just immerse in all this for a moment. Just tonight, she told herself. She could pretend that every moment tonight was an eternity.  Every touch, every smile, every detail on Beatrice’s face.

Just tonight.

Tomorrow, she would go back remembering that Beatrice was someone she could never have.

Just tonight.

She was going to enjoy the figurative light that seemed to be radiating out of Beatrice, or perhaps she should call it literal, because the dragonfly dress had small light bulbs on it.  Truly one of a kind, just like the person wearing it.

Beatrice dipped Kit, and Kit thought that it was really strong of her to be able to dip Kit while wearing the who-knew-how-heavy wings.  But then again, everyone always knew Beatrice was the strongest out of them all.

Beatrice’s face was dangerously close again, her facial features clear in Kit’s eyes, especially those lips.  Kit let imagination run wild.  Just tonight.

The song ended, and Beatrice pulled Kit back up again.  Kit felt slightly disoriented as she stood up on her feet again, but it was probably just because of the pose moments ago.

“This is fun,” Beatrice declared grandly.

Kit smiled weakly at her.  “Yeah,” she agreed.

Just tonight.

[blessethwrites]

stars exploding

(Day 1 of MultiSaku Month)

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: SasuSaku

Summary: Don't get Sakura wrong, she was happy she and Sasuke were becoming friends, following everything that had happened. Ecstatic even. But hell, did he have to be on her mind all the damn time?

On AO3

Her love for Sasuke had always been one of her defining characteristics, Sakura was starting to realize. Back in the Academy that was the thing everyone knew about her and, to be fair, she hadn’t minded. Then when they were placed on the same team that damn crush continued to be her driving force even as Naruto and Sasuke kept growing and improving, not only as shinobi but also as people; it was somewhere around the Chunin exams that Sakura had decided her feelings were more than an infatuation and had been brave enough to call it love.

It all spiralled from there. And somehow after all those years, after an entire damn war, that same love she held for him remained so deeply ingrained in her very being that she couldn’t imagine ever not loving him.

Except. She let out a heavy sigh once she finished up the last of her paperwork. Now things were different. There was no war anymore, there was no need to run around chasing Sasuke and silly as it might’ve sounded, it felt like the beginning of a new era. And for once, Sakura was happy with where she was. She was enjoying settling into her new life. That was a challenge of its own -- even after a few months, at times she still had trouble remembering it was all over -- but not an unwelcome one. The others, at least, seemed to be struggling with getting used to the newly established life of peace as well, and Sakura thought there was a sense of relief in navigating their new lives together.

She pushed herself up from her desk and stretched in an attempt to work out the kinks in her back. Ino would tell her to stop overthinking everything and just enjoy it; and she’d be right, of course, even though Sakura would never admit that to her face. The thing was, there wasn't a switch she could turn to stop thinking. In fact, thinking was all she’d been doing lately and somehow it all kept coming back to Sasuke. As it always did.

She wondered, not for the first time, why she seemed to be the only one unable to move on. Their former classmates had. Karin had. Ino had. Meanwhile, Sakura was stuck. Or at least, she had been. She still believed she’d always love Sasuke, except lately she was starting to realize that didn’t necessarily mean romantic love. After all, platonic love was just as precious.

So one could say she was slowly coming to terms with the fact that perhaps while she did love him, it was only as a dear friend. A very, very dear friend. And she tried to treat him as such, she reasoned with herself. She'd come to pacing around the room which wasn’t all that spacious to begin with and nodded along to her thoughts. Yes, ever since Sasuke had been released on probation she’d made sure to be friendly while not being too friendly to a point where he might feel uncomfortable. She really wanted to build a relationship with him that wasn’t based on a childish infatuation followed by years of separation. She wanted to get to know the man he’d become and to become someone he could trust in return; she wanted that teammate bond they lacked, the one she’d dismissed as boring when she’d been younger.

And it seemed he wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea. Of course, she hadn’t been so forward as to tell him all of that but she’d made an effort he appeared to recognize. She would even go as far as say he tried to return it in his own way. And she was incredibly happy he did, naturally, but that didn’t mean she was equally happy that he occupied so many of her thoughts.

“Friends, you idiot, friends,” she chastised herself and let out a low groan. She was hopeless, was what she was. She immediately tensed once she heard a snort come from behind her and whirled around, fists ready, only to recognize the chakra signature at the very last moment.

“Um,” she racked her brain for something to say, mind drawing blank. As much as she thought about him, nothing could really compare to the real thing, she realized as she watched Sasuke raise an eyebrow at her. “Hi?”

He let out another snort and shook his head; there was something akin to fondness in his eyes, though Sakura must have imagined that. “Hi,” he returned her greeting dryly and she had to stifle a grin. During the past months, she’d come to find he had a very dry sense of humour; right now he was basically teasing her. “I see you’re busy, should I come back later?”

This time she let the grin spread on her lips and leaned back until she was perched on her desk. It wasn’t as unusual as it would’ve been some time ago, to have Sasuke stop by to visit her at the hospital, but it also wasn’t as if he’d made it into a habit. A happy surprise, Sakura would call it. “Is there something I can do for you or did you just come to tell jokes?”

He seemed amused by her comment but didn’t say anything. He was watching her, eyes calculating, and she had no idea what he was looking for until he finally spoke up. “You haven’t had dinner yet, have you.”

The tone of his voice suggested it was a statement rather than a question and that he knew perfectly well she hadn’t. Sakura threw a glance at the old clock sitting on the desk next to her and then her eyes returned to Sasuke almost defensively; it wasn’t that late. “No,” she said cautiously, hoping to avoid a lecture. Not that Sasuke was the type to give her one, generally, but she’d had enough from both Ino and Naruto to last her a lifetime. She shrugged lightly. “I was going to head home soon anyway.”

He merely hummed, unmoving from where he was leaning on the wall, and Sakura crossed her arms. Her days of trying to decipher his grunts were over; if he wanted to say something he’d have to use actual words. She raised an eyebrow at him, stifling a smile as he snorted, apparently having understood her silent protest. “Come eat with me. I made too much food.”

His wording was a little off but it was still major progress from the closed-off boy he’d used to be, Sakura thought fondly. Then her brain caught up with the fact he’d invited her to have dinner with him and she had to look away, choosing to focus on a few of the manila folders sitting on her right side. As she straightened them out, making sure they were perfectly aligned with both the desk and each other, she cleared her throat. “Um, yeah, sure, that’d be nice.” When she finally glanced back at him there was something in his eyes she couldn’t quite read. “Thank you for offering.”

Sasuke shrugged, shifting his weight slightly, and looked around the room. “You done?”

Sakura bit her lip and it took everything in her not to fidget. She could certainly find something to keep her busy if she looked for it, like a last minute patient or a nurse who needed help; those were always easy to find. And on any other night that was precisely what she would’ve done. But tonight Sasuke was here and he wanted to have dinner with her, and as anxious as the idea made her, she was also looking forward to it. She threw him a small smile and pushed herself away from the desk. “Yeah, all done.”

Sasuke grunted once again, in response to which she reached to poke him in the ribs; no grunting on her watch. He let out an amused huff and Sakura’s smile grew as the two of them headed towards the main entrance. She couldn’t help but think how weird it was that spending time with Sasuke felt so normal. She’d expected there to be a certain awkwardness, all things considered, and while there had been in the beginning, it had all but dissipated by now. Yet another example of how much better their platonic relationship was as opposed to the one-sided crush she’d had, she thought.

When she glanced at Sasuke out of the corner of her eye, she was surprised to find he was already looking at her. “What?”

He didn’t move his gaze for a while and once he finally did, Sakura realized she’d been subconsciously holding her breath. “You get lost in your head a lot,” he said simply without offering any more explanation. He didn’t need to, anyway, she knew exactly what he meant.

“Sorry.” She threw him a sheepish grin and had to resist the urge to rub the back of her neck; she refused to completely turn into Kakashi. The ghost of a smile on Sasuke’s lips told her he knew exactly what she’d been thinking which made her grin widen. “I promise for the rest of the night I’ll be one hundred percent present.”

Sasuke didn’t offer a verbal response, something Sakura was about to tease him for, when she spotted Shizune talking to Kira-san on the front desk. She glanced at them and raised a finger to signal Sasuke she’d be just a moment; then she moved to approach the two women.

“Hey,” she smiled and nodded in greeting before turning to Shizune as the nurse moved to give them some privacy. “Do you need my help with anything? I wanted to check with you before I head out.”

The look Shizune gave her had Sakura raising her hands and hurrying to explain; she didn’t want Shizune thinking she was shrinking her duties or anything of the sort. “My shift ended a few hours ago, but if you need me then of course I’ll stay--”

The woman laughed, hands coming to rest over Sakura’s. “I know, I know. I was just surprised you’re voluntarily leaving, that’s all; I’m pretty sure Naruto-kun had to drag you away last time.”

The memory made Sakura flush as she recalled Naruto insisting she was overworking herself and quite literally carrying her out of the hospital; while she appreciated the concern, it was embarrassing. “Yes, well…” She trailed off and her gaze slid to Sasuke who was patiently waiting for her by the doors. He raised both his eyebrows when he caught her gaze and she shook her head before turning back to Shizune, not quite managing to contain her smile.

“Ah, I get it now.” Shizune’s tone was teasing but the warmth in it was unmistakable and Sakura’s flush became even more apparent.

“It’s not like that, Shizune, don’t tease me,” she laughed it off. “Not you too.” She’d been getting suggestive looks and wry smirks for at least a month now and she wasn’t sure how many more times she could repeat the phrase ‘we’re just friends’. She wasn’t mad, she knew nobody meant anything by it, but she could definitely go without it as well.

Shizune’s smile turned apologetic. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” She glanced down the hallway behind Sakura and let out a semi-amused breath. “You better get going before there’s an emergency and you end up staying here the whole night.”

Sakura snorted in agreement before saying her goodbyes. Finally, she returned to Sasuke’s side. “Okay, now I’m really all done.”

He held the door open for her, a gesture that would’ve made her past self swoon. If she was being perfectly honest it made her swoon now as well, but she told herself it was only natural. She would’ve enjoyed it regardless of the person.

“Are you inviting Naruto?” she spoke up once they’d started walking. As far as she was aware they were headed towards Sasuke’s new apartment at the centre of the village and while it wasn’t far from the hospital, she didn’t want them to spend the walk in silence.

Her question made him huff as he glanced at her, amused. “I said I made too much food but not that much.”

She shook her head at the familiar teasing but there was also a side of her that grew even more anxious now that he’d more or less confirmed it would just be the two of them. It was fine, though, it really was. Friends had dinner together all the time. It was fine.

“How’s work at the hospital?”

It wasn’t the question itself that surprised her rather than the fact he’d asked it at all. She quickly tried to shake the surprise off, however, and simply shrugged. “Not a lot going on right now, but that’s good news.” She paused, considering. “Of course there’s still a ton of paperwork, but at least I also have some more time to do research. Actually, Hinata’s been letting me have a closer look at the Byakugan and it’s really fascinating.”

She wasn’t about to go into detail about her findings for one because the information was only to be kept inside the Hyuga clan and for another, most people would find it boring even if she could talk about it. In any case, Sasuke was a smart man, she had no doubt he’d understand the secrecy around the Hyugas’ bloodline limit.

He seemed to hesitate for a moment before glancing away, looking anywhere but at her as he spoke. “I don’t mind if you want to research the Sharingan.”

Sakura actually stopped walking for a moment out of sheer shock. The Uchihas were notoriously secretive when it came to their bloodline limit, even moreso than the Hyugas. For Sasuke to say this to her…

“I wasn’t trying to imply--” she started to say once she remembered to keep walking but he simply sighed, cutting her off before she’d had the chance to explain she hadn’t mentioned Hinata in some attempt to rope Sasuke into letting her do the same to him.

“Sakura. What you find will benefit me as well,” was all he said and she could feel her heartbeat slowly return to its normal pace. That made perfect sense; of course he’d want to know more about the Sharingan, especially since he was the last living Uchiha. She was overthinking everything, as usual. Sasuke cleared his throat and although his voice was quiet, Sakura heard him perfectly. “I trust you.”

“Oh.” Even if she’d wanted to, she couldn’t have helped her wide smile. There were a lot of things she could say in return, from Thank you to I trust you too, but she had a feeling Sasuke still wasn’t completely used to being so open with his emotions and she didn’t want to scare him off. Baby steps, she reminded herself. “Okay then. Whenever you’re free you can stop by the hospital and we can get started. Just make sure to let me know beforehand.”

Sasuke gave a sharp nod and after a beat proceeded to surprise her yet again. “Are you free tomorrow?”

She fumbled for a response, letting out a small, unsure chuckle as she did. “Um, sure. Does noon work for you?”

This time the nod was the only answer she received and before he could throw any more curveballs at her, she found they’d reached his apartment. He unlocked the door easily enough -- Sakura would forever be jealous of doors which didn’t need prodding and punching to open, unlike her own -- and led her to the dining room. The apartment wasn’t big but Sakura liked that about it; she had a feeling Sasuke did too. Somehow it had a homey feel to it, despite the scarce decorations. Perhaps it was because there was a bit of Team Seven scattered around every room -- a few of Kakashi’s books were resting on a shelf in the dining room which also served as a living room, the bathroom smelled of kiwi and mango, courtesy of Sakura leaving a spare bottle of shampoo in case she needed to sleep over, and she also knew for a fact that the fridge was well-stocked with instant ramen. In any case, whatever it was, it made her feel at home. She had to imagine Sasuke felt the same way, despite his actual childhood home being on the other side of the village. He’d mentioned to her a few weeks back that it felt more like a graveyard than a home, and her heart had broken for him.

“Here,” he said as he entered the room, placing one plate on the table in front of Sakura and one right across of it, where he took a seat. “It’s omusubi.”

Sakura could see that but she also knew what he really meant; it was basically the equivalent of him asking if it was an acceptable meal. She gave him a small smile. “It looks lovely.” And it really did. She could spot fish flakes and what appeared to be tomatoes, and she found herself thinking this was a very Sasuke-like meal. “Itadakimasu.”

Sasuke echoed her words and the two of them proceeded to eat in silence -- strangely enough, Sakura didn’t feel any of the unease she’d expected. This was technically the first time she and Sasuke dined together, just the two of them, and it was actually a nice change of pace. With Naruto there was always this sense of urgency to their meal, especially seeing how quick he was to finish his food. Sasuke, on the other hand, took his time.

She remembered how he’d be just as fast as Naruto back in their childhood, matching his pace with ease, but she also assumed that had been merely a part of the rivalry the two of them shared. Now things were different. While the rivalry was still there, Sakura liked to think it had taken a turn for the better.

“There’s anmitsu in the fridge,” Sasuke said some time later, eyes not moving from the rice ball he was holding with his chopsticks. His tone was even, as if describing the weather, but Sakura couldn’t help staring. While that was one of her favourite foods, he hated sweets. She knew that because back when she was young and crushing on him, she’d made a point to catalogue all of his likes and dislikes. And sweets definitely fell into the latter category.

It made no sense unless he’d developed a sweet tooth during all those years away from Konoha, a thought that made her unreasonably sad. She knew he’d changed, she wasn’t stupid, but there was something about the idea of not knowing him as well as she used to that unsettled her.

And that was precisely why they were doing the friendship thing, she reminded herself. To get to know each other better. So she hummed in a way she hoped seemed casual enough and swallowed the last of her food before replying. “I didn’t know you liked sweets.”

The amusement was plain in his eyes though the rest of his face remained impassive. “I don’t.”

“Oh.”

Her response, or the lack of thereof, seemed to amuse him even further, but there was also that same flash of fondness she’d thought she’d imagined earlier. He didn’t say anything else as he too finished his meal until at last, he stood up and moved to go to the kitchen. Sakura watched as he disappeared behind the door only to return a few moments later with a small bowl of anmitsu.

“Wait, you also made this?” When he’d mentioned having sweets she’d assumed he’d just bought them. Sasuke grunted in response and she couldn’t even find it in herself to get mad. “Wow. I-- Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me before you’ve made sure it’s edible,” he said dryly but she could see the careful way he was watching her as she tried the dessert.

She didn’t know what she expected but it was good. Everything tasted just as it was supposed to and she smiled. “It’s great, Sasuke, thank you. Not just for dessert but the whole meal. And,” she added with a laugh, “for getting me out of the hospital.”

A snort of amusement and another easy silence fell upon the room. Sakura took the opportunity to get another look around. Sure, she’d been there before with Naruto and Kakashi for team bonding or something of the sort, but now, with nothing else to do, she found her eyes drifting. Not entirely surprising that they landed on a picture, the only one she could see, standing innocently on a small coffee table. Their old genin photo.

It was Naruto who had given it to Sasuke, frame and all, upon his return, but the mere fact he’d kept it and displayed so openly had warmth blooming in Sakura’s chest. They had different teams now and Sai and Yamato were without a doubt part of their little family but even so, the four of them -- herself, Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi -- had something that felt special.

Sasuke noticed her gaze, naturally, but he didn’t say anything. She had a strong feeling he didn’t like to think about those times, regardless of all the good parts, and she respected that; one thing she’d learnt as a medic was that everyone coped in different ways.

“Once again, thank you for the meal,” she repeated as she set the now empty bowl down on the table, suddenly unsure of what to do with her hands. She ended up clasping them in her lap in order to resist fidgeting. “I guess I better get going now. I have an early shift tomorrow and you can imagine what those are like.” She’d stood up at some point and now had to bite her lip to stop talking; she could feel the words bubbling up under the surface and she didn’t think Sasuke would appreciate her rambling.

“I’ll walk you.”

He was also standing, moving around the table to stand in front of her, and she blinked up at him. “Are you sure?” She didn’t add that she could take care of herself because if after everything they’d been through he still didn’t see that then there wasn’t much else she could do. And besides, she had a feeling he hadn’t offered in some misguided attempt to protect her; Naruto usually walked her home after every little gathering they attended, and when he wasn’t able to, Kakashi did it instead under the excuse he was headed in the same direction as her anyway. Hell, even Sai had walked her on one memorable occasion which nearly ended with him in the hospital.

Thus, she concluded, Sasuke was just being a good friend. Still, she didn’t want him to feel as though he had to simply because other members of their team did.

He looked at her in a way that said plenty; if she had to interpret it as just one sentence, however, it would be something along the lines of Of course I’m sure, I wouldn’t have offered otherwise. Another smile grew on her lips and distinctly she remembered Ino saying something about how she’d been smiling a lot lately.

The walk to her apartment was, unsurprisingly, silent. But Sasuke didn’t seem to be in a hurry, matching her slower pace without complaint, and when she felt the heat of his body by her side, she realized they were walking closer than usual too.

Upon reaching the door, she turned to face him. “Thank you for walking me.”

He was about to respond with another grunt, she could feel it, but when he saw her raised eyebrow, his lips twitched in amusement. “You’re welcome.”

Pleased, she turned back around to face the door and was about to insert the key when her mouth opened without her permission. “Would you like to come inside?” She froze, scrunching her nose at her stupidity, and took a breath before looking over her shoulder at Sasuke who hadn’t moved an inch. “For, uh, tea?”

She watched his face carefully, ready to backtrack the second he showed any sign of annoyance, and promptly stopped breathing when he smiled. It was only a half-smile, granted, but it was the closest to a genuine one she’d seen from him and it was directed at her. It softened all his features and even his dark eyes, which had seemed so emotionless a few years ago, now appeared warm.

“Yes,” was all he said and her heart skipped a beat.

So much for platonic feelings.

[taegijae-blog]

BREAKFAST DELIVERY 9

pairing: 2jae

genre: fluff, if you squint there’s angst

word count: 2k

description: the school’s hottest boy im jaebum wants to get a certain boy’s number.  but the first problem is: he’s unhappy and not eating.

status: completed

note: this was originally posted on wakaba’s wattpad @/jaeholics

| part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |

Youngjae brought a clean thermos and a confused heart to school next day.

He wanted to return it to its rightful owner, and as much as he wanted to leave it for his anonymous food giver, the label on the thermos told him otherwise.

It couldn't be Park Jinyoung, could it?

He hoped it wasn't.

He walked around throughout the halls, searching for the person with big ears and a constant judgmental look on his face.

And there he was, talking about something to a girl.

Youngjae rushed up to him and held the bag like a bunny, nervously blinking. He stopped his conversation with his hands mid-air, staring at the younger.

"Um... I think this is yours," he said quietly, handing over the bag. Jinyoung blinked.

"That's the bag Jaebum asked me to give you, though," he said with a growing frown, taking the bag and looking at its contents. He ignored the expression on Youngjae that was becoming a mixture of confused and terrified. Taking out the thermos, he scowled. "The hell? This is my thermos."

Jinyoung then glared back Youngjae, who was cowering with every passing second that he was being stared down at. "You ate out of this?" He scoffed and took only the thermos, shoving the rest back into the bag.

"Gross."

He walked away from him, the girl clinging next to him.

🍽

The lunch bell rang.

Jaebum strolled down the hall to reach the cafeteria after rejecting a few girls' offers to eat together. As he was passing by the empty algebra classroom, a hand reached out and pulled him through the open doorway.

It was Youngjae who seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"Y... you okay-"

"Are you trying to mess with me?!" Youngjae almost screamed out. Luckily, the hallway was empty so no one heard him. "Are you doing this just for your own entertainment?!"

Jaebum was absolutely confused until Youngjae showed him the bag that was missing a thermos. He cursed under his breath and raised his hands, trying to calm the other down. "hey, listen-"

"You enjoy making a joke out of people's happiness and then crushing it, don't you, Im Jaebum?" Youngjae's voice grew quieter, but the rage was still there. His voice cracked near the end of his words, evidence that he was just about to cry.

The room was dark without the lights on, but Jaebum could still see the sadness painted on Youngjae's face. The younger sniffled and stared at the floor.

"I don't want your pity. I don't want you to even acknowledge me because you make me uselessly happy about things that turned out weren't even real," Youngjae said shakily, his arms and shoulders trembling. The amount of sniffling coming from him grew. "I know... that you think I'm disgusting. Just like your friend Park Jinyoung."

In Jaebum's eyes was a sudden sparkle.

Youngjae threw the bag at Jaebum and wiped his eyes with his sweater's sleeves. "Leave me alone and don't ever talk to me again.

...I hate you."

Youngjae rushed out the room, stumbling into the doorway as he did so.

Sliding down against the wall, Jaebum held his face with a long, exhausted sigh.

🍽

"What have you done to our Jaejae?!"

"Yeah! You better tell us or else we'll beat you up!!"

Kim Yugyeom and Kunpimook Bhuwakul assumed wide stances in front of Jaebum's gang, holding chopsticks as weapons.

Jackson Wang coughed.

Jinyoung stood from his seat and pulled the depressed-looking Jaebum up with him.

"Come here. We're gonna talk."

Mark and Jackson watched as their friend was pulled away in silence. They turned back to the two sophomores, who were still in the ready-to-fight stance.

"We know martial arts," Mark said with an arm around Jackson's shoulders.

"Never mind," BamBam quickly said as they both turned around and returned to their table where the unresponsive Youngjae sat. "Hyung, we'll make sure those jerks never hurt you again, okay?"

"Yeah!" Yugyeom agreed, rubbing Youngjae's back. "They can't do whatever they want to just because they're seniors!"

"Be quiet," Youngjae muttered, voice muffled since his face was on the table and covered by his arms.

🍽

"Jinyoung," Jaebum glared at his friend sternly once the two were in an empty area. "What the fuck did you say to Youngjae?"

"Listen, Bum," Jinyoung replied while rolling his eyes, arms crossed over his chest, "you never told me that you'd be using my thermos for that."

"He told me that you said he was disgusting!" Jaebum eventually yelled, his patience running out. "Why are you being rude to him, anyway?"

"'Rude'? I was the one who told you he was being cornered by those girls. I was the one who found him after getting kicked and told you to come. I was the one who gave him that bag. It's always been me caught in your stupid little love chase after him," Jinyoung said with a sneer, narrowing his eyes at the other. "Don't you even understand how I feel? Did you ever consider what this is all doing to me?"

Veins in Jaebum's neck popped up as his anger grew. "This isn't about you! You just happened to—"

"I've liked you since sixth grade."

Jinyoung stuffed his hands into his pockets as he watched Jaebum fall silent. there were glimpses of disappointment in his eyes, along with sadness.

"Yeah. Exactly. You never knew that, did you?" Jinyoung quietly asked, stepping away from the person he wasn't sure he could consider his friend anymore.

Jaebum paused before slamming his foot into a nearby door.

He screamed out of fury at himself.

i just wanted you to know that my feelings for you are genuine. nothing that i have done, or said on these notecards are lies. Crumbling up the piece of paper in one hand, Youngjae raised his other arm. "May I go to the infirmary?" "Sure." He grabbed his belongings and headed out the classroom, eyeing the empty desk of Im Jaebum. With a sigh, he took out his phone and started texting someone. ???-hyung

[c.youngjae]: hey [c.youngjae]: hyung [c.youngjae]: are you busy? [c.youngjae]: i want to talk for a bit [c.youngjae]: i'm, [c.youngjae]: there're a lot of things on my mind

Youngjae headed down the stairs, searching for the large room known as the auditorium. He knew it was rarely used unless the band or orchestra was planning to have a concert in the near future, anyway. Avoiding the gazes of any teachers that were walking by, he led himself down the path that would take him to the outside of the auditorium. On some of the soft, freshly mown grass, he sat down and shakily exhaled.

His phone buzzed.

1 new message from: ???-hyung

[???]: i'm here

Youngjae sat with his knees up close to his chest, typing away with his thumbs. 

???-hyung

[c.youngjae]: i think my biggest fear ever just came true

[c.youngjae]: the guy that was giving me food

[c.youngjae]: it turned out to be im jaebum. the popular guy.

[c.youngjae]: i was just...

[c.youngjae]: so incredibly mad

[c.youngjae]: bc his friend, someone called park jinyoung personally called me ‘gross’

[c.youngjae]: i couldnt help but think about how hes been doing all this for his own entertainment...

[c.youngjae]: so i yelled at him

[c.youngjae]: and even though i know im angry at him for being a total jerk, smth about him makes me want to forgive him

[c.youngjae]: because despite all that,

[c.youngjae]: he's been a sweetheart to me

[c.youngjae]: ...and i kinda didnt listen to what he had to say

Youngjae shut off his phone with a sigh, tilting his head up to glance at the sky. the clouds that swirled around and restricted any blue from showing were dark. His phone vibrated in his hand so he unlocked it, checking the new messages he received.

???-hyung

[???]: you didnt hear him out, huh?

[???]: i think you should.

[???]: you never know what mightve been going on in his mind.

[???]: are you skipping class?

[c.youngjae]: yeah

[c.youngjae]: i'm sitting outside our school's auditorium

[???]: outside?

[???]: i hope it isnt cold.

[???]: its supposed to rain soon

[???]: do you have an umbrella?

[c.youngjae]: no

[c.youngjae]: i'll be fine

[???]: ...if you say so

Youngjae sighed once again and rubbed his eyes. He felt exhausted and didn't want to see anyone for the rest of the day. his teachers, classmates, even friends...

But the face of mysterious, sunglasses wearing 'Def Soul' would appear in his thoughts.

That was always something strange. Whenever he was down, he realized, he would either think about that person or directly text him. Before his two best friends, BamBam and Yugyeom, would come Def Soul.

What was wrong with him?

The clouds dropped bits of rain as his eyes dropped some tears down his face. Youngjae felt sad, but his body was too numb to be expressing any of those emotions. His phone slipped from his hand and fell onto the grass while his head leaned back. He opened his mouth and ate a few droplets of rain, hugging his knees closer to himself.

He wanted to stay like that until it was night, when no one could see him.

Footsteps along the pavement were getting closer to Youngjae.

"I'm sorry," a voice from behind him said sullenly, the footsteps stopping once close enough to Youngjae. He didn't bother looking at who it was because he just knew by that voice.

"'Sorry' is just a word," Youngjae replied, a tone of ruefulness in his quiet words. The sound of some wires and cloth shifted around behind him, and suddenly the rain stopped falling on his head. He tilted his chin up slowly to be met with the sight of Jaebum holding an umbrella over him.

"I never meant to hurt you," Jaebum practically whispered, crouching down to his knees while still holding the umbrella for the other. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Youngjae could see the genuinely apologetic expression the elder had on his typically flirtatious face.

Shaking his head slightly, Youngjae glanced straight ahead as he hugged his knees even closer. The wind became a bit stronger and he found it to be rather chilly.

Youngjae choked on a few of his tears as he replied, "I know."

Reaching his arm out, Jaebum used his hand to hold onto Youngjae's chin and pull his head to his direction so the two would face each other. The younger seemed so drunk in his thoughts that he didn't do anything in retaliation; he only stared at Jaebum in a way that the upperclassman found to be extra gorgeous.

"I like you, Youngjae... a lot," Jaebum murmured as he leaned closer in order to place his lips on the other's. Both shut their eyes in the process, holding the kiss in a long, gentle moment. The umbrella in Jaebum's free hand fell onto the grass as it crawled its way over to Youngjae's own hand, entwining their fingers together.

His tears tasted sweet.

Once the two slowly separated their mouths, Youngjae started to bawl. His body gave up its strength and plopped backwards into Jaebum's torso as his shoulders trembled while he sobbed.

Jaebum properly sat on the ground and wrapped his arms around Youngjae's body, holding him close.

"I'll never forgive you," Youngjae cried between his sobbing, gripping tightly on one of the elder's hands. His head was resting against Jaebum's chest and his eyes were glanced up, squinting at him, although his vision was blurry due to the tears. "I'll never forgive you for playing with my emotions like this."

"Baby..." Jaebum muttered as he stuffed his face into the other's cold neck, but to his horror, a hand met his cheek harshly in the form of a slap. He rubbed his cheek, staring at the crying mess that was Choi Youngjae.

"Don't call me that, ever." he coughed, choking on some more tears. "Forget that I even kissed you."

He threw on his backpack and sprinted away, leaving Jaebum alone and in grief once again.

Clutching his face, he screamed into his palm.

"What have I done wrong?"

And why was he losing everything he cared for?