#but i couldnt remember the real name LMFAO

[choccy-milky]

exploring together 🔦

[angstics]

3.3k words summarizing queliot if you've never seen the magicians. or if youve seen it and you want to indulge in my insane criticisms. lord touch his mind

okay so the magicians was a tv show about a bunch of post grads learning magic in magic university then discovering that the fantasy world from a kids book series was actually real and the Beast of that world was out to get them. WHO GIVES A FUCK. the crazy people were focused on the relationship btwn main character quentin coldwater (depressed, heart on his sleeve, surprise sex maniac who is new to magic and loves those books) and gay best friend eliot waugh (substance addicted (big surprise!!), gay trauma, named after evelyn waugh oh you know…) they form a friendship and it’s weirdly touchy and close. eliot keeps trying to seduce quentin but it’s never serious. i dont even think quentin notices. anyone remember the “lets not talk” scene? he was about to fuck that sad man. anyway this tension was actually fulfilled by the end of the 1st season with a drunk threesome including the two and their best friend margo. they at least kiss and cuddle and MAYBE sucked dick if the ghost of his girlfriend who haunts him later is to be believed (which i do #cockinhismouthsunday).

at this time articles that were like “THIS SIFI SERIES IS PROUDLY BISEXUAL” were coming out which. lol. lmfao! quentin never had any sort of queer identity. not even a hint of it. the homophobia of the show started with the regurgitation of the “sad drunk lonely sex-crazed” gay man trope with eliot, then the “everyone is fluid but no one actually has same sex attraction” trope, THEN by sidelining and killing off almost every gay or trans character, THEN THE QUENTIN THING. and the quentin thing turned people insane. let’s see why.

so after the threesome, eliot and quentin continue having a good friendship. there is some tension that isnt present with margo which sure is a choice… but it is resolved by a heartfelt crowning ceremony nd hug. oh theyre kings of the magic land now btw. eliot and q are pretty much separate from this point on xcept for certain episodes/moments. it is strange they dont have any storylines together. but love finds a way. at some point a version of eliot sacrifies himself for quentin. if u look at the scene it is on instinct it is crazy. then they reunite at the end of s2 but it’s all business really. the show was really involved w its nonsense plot.

anyway season 3. hahaha. so like i said theyre separate most of the show past s1. this is true in this season xcept for episodes 305 and 313 (with some notable moments in between). the plot of this season is that they have to go on quests to collect keys. the creature that gives eliot this plot calls quentin his “brother of the heart”. ok! when they see each other for the first time in a while in 304, they hug in a very sweet way :) look at this photo from bts during that scene :) i have it framed

after a series of other quests, 305 turns out to be the Eliot and Quentin quest! finally a story with the two! the quest is for the “time key”, which is fabled to be given to whoever solves the mosaic puzzle in fillory (magic world). the puzzle? they have to arrange 100s of tiles in a way that depicts “the beauty of all life”. quentin is very excited about it. eliot is happy to hear him infodump. they eventually get pushed into fillory to solve the mosaic. turns out they were also sent DECADES in the past. there might have been a way out but they were dead-set on solving the mosaic and getting their key. so they get to work. they live in a cottage attached to the mosaic and they spend hours, days, months on it. just the two of them and the mosaic. this episode is called “a life in a day” which is so perfect you wonder why the writing couldnt be that good within the show.

at the 1 year anniversary, quentin kisses eliot. and eliot kisses him back. and you wonder woah what does this mean?! well keep wondering girl because this tv show does not care to explore any of that. it chugs on and eliot and q fight about “living their lives there” and quentin gets a Wife and has a child with her and then she DIES (leaving her as a narrative incubator rather than an actual character, which is very in line with the sexism of the show). and they grow up and decades pass and the child grows old enough to leave and it seems eliot co-parented him but (again) the tv show doesnt care to show you that. and this whole time theyre working on the mosaic. years and years. eventually they grow old. it’s just the two of them. until eliot dies. quentin goes to bury him in the mosaic plot and he finds a special little tile. he places it in the mosaic. he gets the key. the puzzle is solved. “the beauty of all life”. but quentin is alone. his life companion is gone. and that’s the last we see of him.

we go back in time til before they enter fillory. their friend stops them and she has the key through time shenanigans and they never live that timeline. UNTIL!!!!! they do. they remember it all. what does decades (50 yrs btw) of living happily together mean for them?!? FUCK ALL APPARENTLY!!!! because the next episode (306 if yr keep track) they mention it ONCE AND NEVER AGAIN. and there is so much beneath the surface with the looks and the line that mentions it (“go be life partners with someone else” eliot says jokingly in a manner that shouldve been the catalyst to quentin’s magic-induced suicide spiral later that episode).

ok quentin does mention it once more to his dying dad. but nothing about his Male Life Partner Of Fifty Years. Nothing. they dont even talk about it with their best friends, leading one to believe they just kept it a secret . which. okay.

okay. so theyre apart til the last episode of the season. and quentin decides to sacrifice himself by locking himself in a cage with a monster for all of eternity. he says the quest prepared him for it which is yikesss. eliot refuses. but quentin insists. they travel to the prison (he gets back together with his gf during this trip btw they had been apart that season after some shit. one of their worst writing decisions i hate this stupid ass cockroach relationship). quentin almost exchanges himself. then eliot shoots the monster. dooming them all.

so the monster doesnt die. instead he possesses eliot. and that becomes the story for season 4. at first quentin and co think eliot is dead. and it’s devastating lol. an interesting thing is that the monster was so. touchy with quentin. unbearably so. it’s such a perverse reflection of eliot’s touch. which is sorta pointed out by quentin in this quote (paraphrase) “i know it’s not eliot. but he has his face and his eyes…”

anyhow 405. hahahahahaha. so this episode it’s revealed eliot is alive but trapped in his own head. and to get out for a moment and tell his friends he’s alive, he needs to confront his most terrible most shameful memory. the whole episode is him trying to figure out what it is. meanwhile, quentin and co are setting up a plan to kill the monster. and quentin breaks up with his gf (lol). in a deleted scene that WAS shown in promo they argue about the monster. and quentin says “im team eliot”. lol

anyhow, eliot’s hit a dead end. he cant figure the worst thing that’s happened in his life. then his memory of quentin (theyve been hangin out) says he’ll “sacrifice” himself if he had to. eliot smiles and says “i know youre just a memory… but youre a very generous one.” and quentin says— (im reciting this from memory btw all of this has been from 4 years of NON STOP thinking about it) quentin says “well you sacrifice for the people you love” and he gives eliot a VERY pointed look. and then it dawns on eliot. and the guilt is instantly palpable.

hahahahha. hahaha. hahahahahaha. okay so eliot goes to the memory he knows is the worst thing he’s ever done. his most traumatic memory, after a lifetime of violent homophobia and bad choices. the person possessed before him described this memory as being “the day he left home”.

the memory? the day they remembered their past lives. did it happen? fifty years. it happened.

theyre sat under a wedding arch (that was the b plot of the episode lol). it’s beautiful. eliot watches the memory play out, standing in front of the seated figures. the guilt. the guilt.

outside, the tension is building. the plan to kill the monster is in motion. quentin has to coax him to a certain spot. he has to look at him as he kills his best friend.

eliot doesnt know this but he gets anxious watching it play out. there is a certainty that this is it. the first time viewer has no idea whats going on. we never saw the direct aftermath of them remembering. we always assumed there wasnt anything.

well a year after 305 aired, a yr after thinking THAT WAS IT, they recontextualize Everything.

it is worth saying here that in the promo interviews leading up to season 4, quentin’s and eliot’s actors were sussing it UP. quentin’s at some point talks on q’s queerness, saying it was the one aspect of his life he didnt feel anxious about.

well

what happens is that quentin asks eliot for a relationship. remember how it was quentin who first kissed eliot? it happens again. heart on his fucking sleeve. i can recite this scene pretty well so im going to fucking do it:

did it happen? fifty years. it happened. it was sort of beautiful. it really was. i know this is gonna sound dumb but … us. i mean we work. we know it cause we lived it. who gets that proof of concept? (eliot smiles uneasily) we just got injected with fifty years of memories so i get that youre not thinking clearly. no im just saying… what if we gave it a shot, would that be so crazy? (eliot looks down, worried and thoughtful. quentin smiles RADIANTLY it is BLINDING) why the fuck not?

editors opinion: quentin is such a beautiful person. to be so truthful about something so scary is unthinkable. especially in context of him being so hopelessly and quietly in love his childhood best friend, and his whirlwind romance with previously mentioned gf, and all the tragedy he endured with these two. but this is someone who loves with his whole heart. what was he supposed to do? contain it?

then eliot hardens.

i know you and you arent… whats the matter? dont be naive it matters. (pause) q i love you but… that isnt me and that definitely isnt you. not when we have a choice. (quentin looks away. he wipes his eye) oh. okay. sorry.

and silence. the real eliot, the eliot who isnt the memory, looks on. tired and angry, he speaks to himself:

what the hell is wrong with you? what the hell are you doing? someone Good and True… Loves you. yeah it was a little crazy but you knew. you knew this truly mattered. and you just SNUFFED IT OUT.

then he looks to the memory of quentin. soft as the clouds:

q. im sorry. i was afraid. and when im afraid i run away.

then he kisses him. and he hits you with the thesis of the episode:

if i ever get out of here q… know that when im braver it cause i learned it from you.

well

thats his most traumatic memory. he is granted passage to consciousness. what is the first thing he sees? quentin. the real quentin.

q? (smiles) q (laughs) it’s me. it’s eliot. ok come on no games. it’s eliot. i said no games. (eliot looks around, worried as all hell) fifty years (he walks towards q) who gets proof of concept like that? what? peaches and plums motherfucker (this is the symbol to their mosaic life) im alive in here. (eyes as wide as saucers, heart in his throat) eliot…

and he ruins their plans of killing the monster. “eliot’s alive.”

then the episodes keep rolling. “eliot eliot eliot. why do you care so much about him?” “because i do.” and “wow i love that plan. except the part where it doesnt save eliot.” quentin gets back with his gf for reasons only the devil knows. but fine ok whatever quentin and eliot will HAVE to talk post-saving. even if the writers ignore it once more they have some kind of relationship. and they do save eliot in the finale! you know who they dont save? lmfao

quentin dies. in a manner that many including myself found weird and unsatisfactory and suicidal. and he never gets to know how eliot feels. never. he’s just gone. their story means nothing 💯

editors note: this ending broke me. i was using the show as a depression crutch, so a fate so hopeless ruined me. cant blame the show for my mistake but being so technically bad certainly didnt help.

well when the show came back for its next (and final lol) season, they did attempt closure for eliot and quentin. for some reason this was all contained in 3 episodes, most of it in the third (503) but what the fuck ever. it has its moments.

the episode is basically about eliot and alice (q’s gf i dont think ive mentioned her name. sorry alice) going on a mini quest up a treacherous mountain for grievers to return a piece of quentin’s soul back to the underworld. their fights are soooo funny. toxic lover vs almost-lover.

alice at some point says “well he was MY boyfriend this is MY pilgrimage and you just TAGGED ALONG” and (blood obviously boiling) eliot goes “right, because he meant nothing to me”. and this highlights something so sneakily homophobic about this whole affair. quentin and eliot’s relationship never mattered to the narrative as much as all the other straight relationships, especially quentin and alice’s. like i said, they would separate for entire seasons. you will be happy to know that not 1 episode goes by without quentin and alice conflicting and making up conflicting and etc. i dont understand how quentin and eliot’s relationship wasnt important enough. they were best friends, they kissed multiple times and had sex AT LEAST once if the mosaic subtext isnt considered. and the mosaic… it isnt just that they lived together for 50 yrs and raised a child and were happy, something they couldnt quite grasp in their old lives… they achieved the beauty of all life. that is a monumental achievement that shouldve changed not only their lives, but their stories.

the thing about the confession is that it wasnt planted in s3. talking about 405, the writers said they came up with it while working on that episode. it was essentially a retcon. though its inclusion explains why they didnt talk about it literally, it doesnt excuse the narrative outright ignoring it. it DEFINITELY doesnt account for why it ignored the rest of the SAME SEASON it was ESTABLISHED IN. if this was quentin and alice, they would be talking about it nonstop. and guess the fuck what when they get back together it is *non stop*.

SO. 503. they are on their pilgrimage. tensions build. eliot hallucinates quentin’s voice (it’s a soundbite from the mosaic when eliot dies which is depressing). they meet another traveller who is grieving his long dead boyfriend.

the traveller asks who theyre grieving and alice goes My Boyfriend and eliot looks away and says he knew him as a friend and it’s so sad it makes me want to die. why did they invent new exciting ways for gay people to be ashamed of who they love. i hate this show.

anyway the traveller talks about his boyfriend and how he was a magician who died young and how his dreams were haunted by him. and eliot is listening so intensely you want to jump hale appleman for being so good at this acting thing. alice goes to sleep and leaves the two alone. then they really start talkin:

(the traveller asks) have you ever had love? (eliot smiles small, hesitant) love…? yeah love. (pause) the friend we’re putting to rest. (traveller is delightfully shock) wasnt just a friend.

truly truly truly cant describe to you how much it physically pains me that it took 2 seasons and for one of them to die and a conversation with a stranger to get to this point. why wasnt this always part of the narrative. why does this only matter now after 2 yrs of fans badgering you about why this isnt part of the fucking show despite BEING PART OF THE FUCKING SHOW! it is dead obvious this was never the intent so even with something that should feel right feels wrong because the show never wanted it. it never wanted quentin to be in love with eliot. but it doesnt make sense if he isnt. i hate this show.

the convo continues 🙄:

does she know? oh god no. a torrid secret affair. (eliot looks away) no, nothing like that.

and i wish eliot was given a proper story. i wish i knew what was going on in his head through all of this. i wish i wish.

so it is revealed that quentin and eliot “had love” and that eliot is keeping it a secret (a revelation considering they werent intimate on screen past the 1 yr anniversary, they were only ever referred to as best friends by cast and crew, AND even what they were was obscured in the confession scene. and their feelings didnt matter past 405 fuck this world). this is huge. it should be huge. eliot’s first arc is about how he cant fall in love until he does and gets his heart broken. quentin’s stories are so wrapped up in alice that having another love interest should complicate that entirely. it doesnt.

the climax of the episode is when eliot expresses difficulty of letting go of quentin and alice says “he was your friend” and eliot replies (quick as if not meaning to) “he wasnt just my friend.” and wowww. how cathartic. the first time in the history of the show they talk about it. 5 seasons btw.

and eliot tells her about the mosaic and how “we loved each other for a really really long time.” and how he told him to fuck off and how he died for him and how he was never able to talk to him again. he just died.

and that part is supposed to be cathartic too. it feels cathartic for eliot the character at least. but to me the Viewer. i was sick of how they were trying to appeal to MY thoughts of what he should be feeling. as if trying to placate me. cuz if it was soo important it wouldnt just been solved after this episode. he DGAF about quentin after this. i dont get it. why cant they write a proper story.

well one line that stuck with me and i truly felt was this:

alice: he was pretty in love with you eliot: i wouldnt say that alice: .. i would

and then eliot looks at her the most devastated a man can look.

thats it. that’s quentin and eliot. a heartfelt and final fuck this show. the fic goes crazy esp the 2019 shit.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Ok this is a monster of an ask oops

RAGGHH KARASU COMEBACK BUT WHERE WAS OUR LOCKER ROOM SCENE I AENT THAT IN MID EPISODE AND HADNT REACHED IT YET BUT WTFFFFFFFFFF NOOOOOOOOOOOOO but now that you mention it the cousin vibes are so real LMAOAOAO I was not expecting that duo lowkey

YEAHHHHH CAT FAMILY LMAOAOA it’s so cute I wonder what their dad’s name is??? But WAHOO WE BROKE FREE OF THE NAMELESS CHIGIRI SISTER ALLEGATIONS

ok gonna merge everything here because I think I scrolled past four consecutive posts that were just our convo LMAOO

Ok but aikus name still has me rolling atp idek what to think maybe it’s a weird schrodingers cat thing except it’s schrodingers aiku im still treating it like his first name is Oliver though….when I read it I thought they purposely flipped the order because he’s half Swedish (?? Forgot lowk) so they followed the western naming convention but I also forgot his dad was the white one…I know a good handful of people who end up taking their moms maiden name for practicality if they live in Japan though so maybe??? Whatever I’m not changing my preconceptions LMAOAOA

Also you associating me with Karasu >>>> MY LIFES WORK IS COMPLETE I’m laughing though because it’s the way that even I had to double take like wait was this me…..

YESS ok we both know the vision it definitely exists but yeah the hair and personality would fit the pirate scene really well #swashbucklingau

LMAOAOAPA I just remember thinking it was so ridiculous how it had a chokehold on so many people like wdym countries as people….also I’ve said this before but the amount of research you do is insane PARENT BLOG POSTS LMFAOOOSOSJSOA that’s some dedication right there and yeah I think the American hs experience is pretty universally understood (ig?? At least on the surface via media) so it’s usually not a problem

REAL it’s literally insane to me also heavy on that Nagi’s biggest opps are nagireo shippers who always defend reo from him and talk about how toxic and bad nagi is and how reo deserves better bro if you think that why do you ship them??? I will never understand the majority of the fandom but anyways

DHSHSSISHHS THE FACT THAT PEOPLE THOIGHT YOU COULDNT SEE JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU DONT READ IM CRYINGGGG seriously what did they think like hello just from a technical platform standpoint that doesn’t really make sense either oh my god

EXACTLYYY like I’ll see the vision and that’s what makes me lore dive into them but if the lore is not loreing it usually doesn’t last very long but REVERSE SITUATION EITH AIKU IS SO REAL literally me like Im knee deep in his character and lore and story but I will not swerve with those visuals im begging someone to pass him a razor i CANNOTTTTT

LMAOOO the brother slander is so funny it really makes the banter within the story feel authentic and not forced though!! Im laughing rin being like “my brother called me a nuisance and abandoned me and said I was shit” and readers brother is like “oh”

WAIT A MINUTE NOW THAT WE HAVE HER NAME ISNT THEIR SHIP NAME JUST YUKI^2 LMFAOOOOO this is amazing

OOOOOOHHH LMFAO OPP KAISER REAL I’m also loving the world five side characters I’m ngl I straight up forgot about Pablo reading your list here and I’m like “PABLO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???” LMFAO Adam Blake too lowkey but anyways

OOOOOOOOH WAIG I NEED TO PULL OUT GOOGLE FOR THIS also just to confirm these are all real horse breeds yes..? I’m ngl I was gf contemplating if you made these up for the Pegasi breeds or if you’re basing them off real ones but based off your latter description about the wings I’m assuming they’re real SHDHSHDJD ok edit: considering I found actual pics on google im going with real but omg yukis Pegasus fits him sm….also wait palominos are gorgeous wtf getting thrown back into a horse era with these searches also KARASUUU had to look up a chart of horse face markings wait the star is so cute too omg wait ok ik you said horse wings match their cost but imagine Karasu’s pegasus had that purple fade out gradient on its wings like his hair OR had that iridescent crow feather quality…anyways

MAMA Y PAPA GOODBYEEEE LMFAOOOO but yeahhh makes sense i saw a lot of insane discourse in passing in the aot fandom….waiting for the day educated people speak up in fandoms and knock some sense into whatever’s going on

IM. MAD. LIVID. FURIOUSSSSS NOOOOOO OUR GLORIOUS KARASU SCENE YOU CANT DO THIS TO USSSSSSSSSS MANIFESTING WE STILL MAYBE GET ONE POST GAME LOVKER ROOM SESSION??? PLEASEEE IM BEGGING WHY DID SAE GET ALL THE SHIRTLESS SCENES UUUEGHSJSHD

REALLLL honestly that’s kinda how i view it LMAO from what I pick up it still feels rough but I’m also laughing like lmao “dummy poopoohead” vibes I think it really captures his Osakan-(??) ness (???) because they’re known to be rowdier and louder and less uptight than most prefectures but as a result they’re actually usually friendlier so their words feel a little more like banter insults than actual “you fucking suck shit stain on the planet” but I still take it as him fitting into the loser agenda LMAOO

LANSOAO IM CRYING it probably doesn’t help we don’t see him much in the manga or even the main show rn either sooo I can’t blame you LOL

SHSHS honestly it might be an activity for your break then I remember when I first played it took a…good amount of time to get through the beginning stuff LOL but LFMAOAOAOAO WRIOTHESLEY REAL I actually love his character he’s so funny sometimes too your taste is great

I SAW THST WHILE SCROLLING ALL HAIL MIRA MEMES LMFOAOAOAAO the hair is actually fantastic idk what you’re talking about

Yess fr!!!! He looked good in this ep too!! But PLEADEE I almost forgot about that….very curious to see how the end of the nel gets executed though

ALMOSTT….NOO KARASU DISAPPEARANCE…but yuki moments….omg you’re so real they will 100% put yuki on the cover (am I delusional for hoping we get a Karasu one) sigh more Karasu scenes please 8bit

LMAOAA ok but here’s the thing did I ever leave….more like I took a slightly casual hiatus but I never STOPPED liking him technically I think the whole post manshine match thing maybe made me a little bored but epinagi fixes that but I REMEMBER LMAOOO ok but jeirin doing that challenge was insane I can’t go that long without mentioning Karasu but WTF nagi haters are actually a different breed (ofilliteratewhosaidthat??)

LMDFO it was too funny thank you dub va but YESSS NAGIS VA!!! He’s one of the ones I think matches pretty well dub wise like I see the vision

LFMSOFUWISJSUS SUBWAY SURFERS IM CRYING WHY DOES IT SLAP TJOUGH??? But REAL lowkey I think he’d play every mobile game available too I bet he’s got like 1 TB of storage on his phone just for gaming

ok next response:

REAL it’s ok you’re out of the writers block slump it’s only a matter of time!!!

ALSO FR I love the switch up from the teacher from being mad to concerned also I think you did a good job implying that it was because the teacher was like omfg are you eating enough?? And not omg muscle man awooga LMAO I’m crying at your concern though it’s completely valid I’m just losing it that sounds like a wp comment

YESS they also REALLY laid it on thick with the gambling in his most recent profile and now also his bet with sae in the u20 match makes more sense too so I loved the little details you threw in about that!! MANUC PIXIE AIKU PLEASEEE I’m imagining aiku in a tinkerbell costume I can’t it’s giving fairy godmother aiku but SO REAL you should just be in charge of the character dynamics department for bllk atp

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY SHDHSJSB THIS DUO SOLOS this is how it should’ve been in canon…I wish these deeper complexities were more visible in the real story but alas they’ve gotta do some marketing

PALSPDAK STOP FR??? I was thinking about that and I was like wow this is a really unique name Mira came up with this time I wonder how she chose it LMAOAOOOAOAO ok that makes more sense but once again the research and dedication goes hard x2

Realizing I replied to the gambling paragraph in an earlier one but YEAH gambler aiku fr LMFAO

YESS PACING WAS GREAT!! ATP maybe im a Mira glazer but actually your pacing is like perfect for me…i think the speed you develop your stories at is right in the middle of the Goldilocks zone im typically kinda picky with the stuff i read and bad pacing and timing is kinda a big turn off so but also i forgot to consider how Nagi’s the youngest out of all of them that adds a whole other layer to the entire dynamic on the u20 team

TRUE sigh more Karasu moments when…but that sae insult is going down in history fr gold

YEAHH I TRMEMBER YHAT LMAOOO im crying it’s the oaeu effect but aikus aura alone already has wingman effects wait i can imagine kaiser losing his mind with nagi LMAAO as he should

If you ever make more canon au one shots you know ill gladly eat them up THIS WAS FIRE

- Karasu anon

LMAOAOA I’M SORRY THIS TOOK ME A SEC TO RESPOND TO…fall break is over alas so my week of freedom is done and my week of finals has begun BUT literally 1.5 weeks until i’m free for the winter!! this is also about when the pomegranate ink comeback happened hehe so we’ll see what’s in store (but definitely lots of chronically online time to make up for all that i lost studying and shit 😭)

HAHAHA APPARENTLY THE LOCKER ROOM SCENE IS AT THE END OF THE GAME!! so we still have hope…still made they gave us sm sae time but WHATEVER karasu manga comeback means we’re still winning!! PLEASE karasu and charles were literally giving the cousins that are forced to sit together at the family table during a reunion and they lowkey have nothing in common but they’re still gang?? like karasu genuinely could’ve babysat charles (given that he’d be like 13/14 when charles would be 10/11) but yet they somehow feel like bros 😭 ngl i was slandering charles with jeirin before that chapter came out because he was a v random character that didn’t feel necessary to the story but NOW?? oh i’m a charles glazer…like that’s me and karasu’s son #real

FINALLYYYY SHE’S NAMED SOBBING FR wait maybe now she should pull up in some fic or another…pursuit perhaps 🤔 or maybe smth new since her reader and bff (who is implied to be tullia for those in the know) were like a little trio in fwtkac ft. occasionally unnamed yukimiya gf appearances so i could lowkey combine unnamed yukimiya gf and koyuki chigiri into one person and then have reader w karasu and tullia with otoya 😯 rip yayoyuki BUT to be fair shoyoi (barou + yayoi karasu) is lowkey better

LMAOO yeah i thought it was smth along those lines too!! kinda like how we don’t call kaiser “kaiser michael” 🤔 and it would make sense for him to keep his mom’s maiden name because like imagine his name is smth like…karlsson JFHDHSJE OLIVER KARLSSON I’M CRYING anyways yeah he’ll always be an oliver to me i’m ignoring kaneshiro on this one anyways i’m basically him atp and i say it’s fact

HELPP WE’RE ALWAYS CHATTING ABT KARASU OFC I ASSOCIATE HIM W YOU actually wait this reminds me of when THREE different people sent me this edit of nagi because everyone thinks of me when they see him now (good as they should) and the craziest part was i already had it saved 😭😭😭 insane levels of nagi glazing going on here but someone has to do it 🙂‍↕️

pirate au in the miraverse when…i need to write for chigiri ngl i really do like him but ONLY my version of him which makes it tough to genuinely consider myself a fan 😓 same w reo and also geto from jjk but alas 😩 too many favs not enough time 🌝

THE CONCEPT OF IT IS INSANE wasn’t it like crazy problematic too?? JFDJDHSN trust i will ALWAYS be researching please it’s like my favorite thing i always put my heart and soul into it 😭 even more light hearted fics i try to give a little thought to!! like for otoya’s bfb i actually looked up pictures of bakeries and their window displays so that i could describe the bakery accurately…i think it helps that i travel a lot though?? like it gives me ideas and general senses for WHAT to research/what cultural differences are generally prevalent if that makes sense 🤔 even in like the one kaiser fic where he’s an angel i used the story of castel st angelo as inspiration because i’ve visited it!! and then a lot of the settings are also places i’ve seen myself so i knew what i wanted to reference (like the church the two meet in is the capelle medicee in florence and the place where reader dies is st peter’s basilica!! i even used the inscription on the dome of the basilica in the fic but with the words changed slightly) and i do think that makes it easier than having the entire internet at my fingertips but not knowing what to search up

sometimes it feels like they just ship nagireo because it’s the most heavily implied and reo likes nagi not because they actually like nagi OR the dynamic that nagireo has?? which like tbh me too BUT that’s why i don’t ship it 😭 people need to bring back rare pairs like it’s okay to ship reo with someone you think he’d be better with even if they don’t interact much ☝🏻 i’ve seen shidou and reo a lot…saw a rin and reo edit yesterday and people were CRAZY in the comments it was so funny everyone was hating and i was like “it’s really just not that deep if they like it they like it honestly i bet that would be a funny dynamic”

LMAOO i think it’s more like it must just not cross their minds that i can see them?? especially on wattpad with the nature of the commenting function and how stories are found/interacted with it can feel removed from the author as compared to ao3 where it feels like you’re talking directly TO the writer when you comment

EXACTLYYYY I LOVE AIKU SM NOW like his character?? his vibes?? PEAK but the visuals?? COULD BE peak if he just fucking SHAVEDDDD UGH AIKU PLEASE some people say they could fix him meaning they could stop him cheating…look i have no delusions more desires to stop a man from being unfaithful BUT i definitely COULD fix aiku (have a one night stand w him and shave his facial hair while he’s sleeping #communityservice)

LISTEN BROTHER SLANDER IS ALWAYS NECESSARY i love my little bro but making fun of him in fics is just too entertaining 😭 please that’s exactly how it would go…like “my brother told me i was defective and should quit on my dreams and die in my room 😐” “oh 😯”

YUKI SQUARED HELP I LOVE THAT okay so basically proof they’re canon yup yup

JFHDHDS YES THE WORLD FIVE (minus dada silva because i cannot see him racing) PULL UP mostly because i didn’t want it to just be kids?? like this way there’s experienced jockeys in the running too ☝🏻 and ofccc kaiser is the BIGGEST opp in this omg he’s like actually evil it’s hilarious

the pegasi are all real colors yes!! they’re based on thoroughbreds (the breed) since i took inspiration from thoroughbred racing for pegasi racing (my horse i used to have was a thoroughbred that used to race so i know a lot abt the industry KFDJDJ) so all of them are colors that thoroughbreds can theoretically be (that’s why they’re all relatively normal colors…palominos are rare for thoroughbreds and same with flaxen chestnuts [reader’s pegasi’s coloring] but it’s still possible so i let it slide) for like realism’s sake LMAOO and all of the wings are based on bird wings!! otoya’s would probably have wings like a dove whereas yuki’s would probably have wings like a grackle and karasu’s would be like a crow’s (ofc)

aiku and i are the mother and father of blue lock CANONNN FKFJSJS tbh i think there’s more sane people than not in most fandoms but the issue is the crazy ones are like a vocal minority so it seems like there’s more of them than there actually are??

WE STILL HAVE A CHANCE TRUST WE WILL GET THE FULL GLORIOUS HD 2400PX ULTRA ZOOM ON HIS ABS AND ARM MUSCLES the 8bit animators do love giving us insane shirtless shots so i think we’ll be good

karasu osakan king love to see it LMAO actually i think that’s kinda common where like the “rough” people in a country are usually the kindest whereas the more “polite” groups tend to be more scathing LFJDJS i bet with karasu his insults also just feel meaningless because he’s always saying them so it’s like okay wtvr he doesn’t actually mean it 😭 loser agenda will forever be strong with him i fear!!

WRIOTHESLEY’S NAME IS SO FUCKING DUMB BUT HE’S SOOO FINE him and alhaitham are literally genshin karasu and nagi tbh it’s not a surprise i like them DKFJDJ but yeah my genshin adventures will likely be winter break activities

HAPPY TO PROVIDE MEMES ALWAYS wait speaking of which i finally collected enough text memes to make another meme post KFJDJD i love posting those instead of writing #productive

if there’s a volume in between the barou cover one and the third selection we might get a karasu cover?? since he was so key to the recent match…idt there’s enough chapters for that unless they really draw out world five match or maybe also give us reo’s pov in second selection with shidou?? we’ll def get a yuki cover for third selection though idt anyone else would make sense (wait also when we finally get to NEL imagine a chris prince cover i think i’d cry from joy)

LMAOOO NAGI HIATUS it’s okay he’s lowkey been kinda irrelevant in the manga too recently i’m just obsessed with him so no hiatuses for me…pls that challenge was insane i was like no way i already have to pretend like idk anything abt anime in my day to day life like that challenge is just me irl why would i force myself to do it online too 😭

NAGI’S DUB IS SO PEAK!! and yeah he just gives me the vibes that he just downloads whatever games he gets ads for so he doesn’t have to wait for the ad to finish playing LMAOOO he’s kind of an ipad kid actually but it’s okay because he’s cute and we love him

i’m hoping i don’t lose motivation by the time i get to write again 😭 it’s also been almost two months since i posted any xreader content so i’ve actually genuinely been slacking…tbf i would’ve had the sae one shot done already without the polar detour so that’s kinda on me LMAOOO but anyways yeah i really just need to get rid of these requests and have them out of the way so i have less things to worry abt 😩 probably going to leave requests to be event-only things for a while i think just so a) they’re more special and b) i don’t have quite as much on my plate

i’m a wattpad veteran ik exactly how their minds work 😓 i think her immediately asking if he’s alright and stuff did make it obvious it was a wellness check but you never know with people these days 😭

aiku really subscribes to that “99% of gamblers quit before they win big” mentality LFJDJS LMAO WAIT HE CANONICALLY BETS ON HORSE RACES RIGHT??? i’m going to make him an npc in the pegasi au solely so he can gamble HAHAHAHA omg tinker bell aiku this is a new level to the oaeu it’s lowkey funny because he has the green and everything too 😭 but i do think it’s a common trope especially in non canon duos where the “traumatized” character is magically fixed by the power of love and the other character just being super perfect?? and especially with a pair like nagi and aiku it would’ve been super super easy to fall into that where aiku is so perfect and mature and wise that he manages to make nagi into a well adjusted human who has normal motivations and plays soccer and whatnot but i wanted to show that while nagi may have been better off with aiku than in canon he still would have issues no matter what because aiku is also just another guy not an actual substitute for parental love and guidance ykwim (since imo that’s the root of all of nagi’s issues)

sometimes the fan service and marketing get to the best of us 😓 i do think it’s easier in prose form vs manga/anime to show that depth though?? like in polar we got to hear nagi’s every thought and although a lot of their dynamic WAS revealed through their physical interactions and whatnot having those thoughts was definitely helpful in developing the complexity of their relationship!! although with visual storytelling there’s a lot of subtleties with body language that can be utilized as substitutes for internal narration so it’s definitely POSSIBLE just tricky and sometimes hard to do when the animation isn’t top notch

FHDJJSSN CAN YOU IMAGINE I FR CAME UP WITH THAT it would truly be insane work…but nope it’s an actual place i’m too lazy to be THAT original especially since i doubt anyone’s looking up what school they went to in order to see if it’s real 😭

KDFHDHS NOT THE MIRA GLAZING PLS 😭 i appreciate it though!! pacing is def smth tricky to balance and everyone also has different preferences for what they prefer but i think as long as you’re confident in your work and write well pacing does come pretty naturally?? at least for me i just try to think of the main scenes i NEED to happen in the story (so like with polar i NEEDED aiku to meet nagi, nagi to go to aiku’s school and play soccer with him, aiku and nagi’s friendship to be shown, aiku and nagi to join the u20s, nagi to clash with sae and shidou, and nagi to finally take initiative at the end and be the one to win the game against bllk) and then let the connections between those main beats to flow naturally as i write based on the established characterizations from canon and what i need for the plot to make sense (for example the scene with the teacher, the entire tryout scene, the scene where aiku throws out nagi’s jellies, the beef with sendou, the sae/nagi dynamic, and the advice + connection with shidou, and pretty much everything else were all improv that came to me as i worked) which i think makes the pacing feel more natural maybe

wait also speaking of mira glazing someone commented on the instrument (in their bookmarks) that they could write an essay on the symbolic connection it has to a german arthouse film i was like damn i feel like this is lowkey a peak compliment

NAGI’S LITERALLY THE BABY OF THE U20S there’s another scene i was going to add where aiku makes nagi hang out with hayate so he can make more friends and they just go to hayate’s house and hayate gardens while nagi plays games and they don’t talk at all because they’re both introverts and then as nagi leaves he’s like “i guess if they’re like hayate then friends aren’t THAT bad” i ended up not including it because again it was already so much longer than necessary 😭 but that just has such sibling vibes to me especially and shows how it wasn’t JUST aiku who adopted nagi ykwim?? like the others cared abt him too (minus sendou kinda but even he respected nagi after he stood up to him)

LMAOAOA AIKU JUST HAS A RIZZFUL AURA his wingman energy is so strong he doesn’t even need to try it just happens unintentionally 😭 PLEASE kaiser and nagi would be hilarious to me i can imagine kaiser trying to tease nagi or crush him or wtvr and nagi’s just like :x because bro does not gaffff also as we see in manshine city vs bm motivated nagi is in fact clear of both isagi and kaiser so assuming nagi stays motivated while in germany he’s def pissing kaiser off so bad just by genuinely being talented at the sport 😓 also though i don’t really see nagi trying to compete with kaiser to take over the team the way isagi did?? so like kaiser would be like “this is my team they serve me and you’ll never be on my level 😈🌹💙⛓️” and nagi’s like “okay 😐🐥” and then he gets put in anyways because he’s actually really good HAHAHA wait also they wouldn’t have the mikage translators so nagi would fr have to learn german to play on bm?? and aiku’s a quarter german so imagine nagi comes home on break and accidentally starts speaking german to aiku because polar aiku canonically has a swedish accent (hehe i looked up what swedish accents sound like on reddit and used the responses from swedes to describe how aiku talks!! another non canon thing that made sense to me because aiku was born in sweden so why not??) and aiku is like WHY TF DO YOU SOUND LIKE MY GRANDPA 😨😨😨⁉️⁉️⁉️

HAHAHA I DO LOVE THESE SILLY LITTLE CANON AU MOMENTS like i said i can’t think of anything rn but maybe someday i’ll have an idea…perhaps something nagi and rin focused because they’re my other favorite underrated nagi duo (albeit much less underrated than nagiaiku) 🤔

[blkkizzat]

Woooh I've been a bit MIA for the most part lately but it's been for good reason...Kali I'm on the last chapter before proof.. my book is damn near DONE BABES! And unfortunately not a speck of smut in sight but there might be a love scene in the sequel. Unfortunately, my parents have to read this novel as it's hopefully going to be my debut and I 100% refuse to let them know what I find hot. They don't deserve that.

I'm also writing a Sample Writing piece so I can go back to school. So I'm giving myself more work.

I never got my fried cheese, but the craving went away with my time of the month, so I'm okily dokily.

I generally ONLY like mozz sticks and cheese curds from a greasy bar. Is it the best place to eat? NO. BUT if I have one more cheese curd served with a three house sauces and not ONE of them is marinara I'm going to freak. Worse is when they try to give you No sauce and then say, we don't serve marinara. Then why tf do you have cheese curds?

Anyway... onto my thoughts this evening.

Big celebrations with ya mans. I'm thinking

Gojo, has to go all out. He takes the day off. He showers you in gifts (nothing expensive just things he knows you like) take you out to an elaborate dinner to top before taking you home and making you forget your name. Like you aren't sure what happened or how you ended up on the kitchen counter, but Gojo's house keeper is not entertained when she finds you both naked on her previously clean counter

Geto is more low key and sophisticated a good dinner, some dancing. He let's you pick your favorite spot out and orders you the good dessert. You get home and yes he does pipe you down. Respectfully.

Nanami, he does not like going out. Something about him screams home body to me. He cooks you dinner. Candles, flowers, the whole 9 just at home. He still gets dressed nicely. Lays out a pretty dress so you feel sexy. His reward to you for your celebration is like 4 orgasms on his tongue. He doesn't ask for reciprocation, this night's about you..but you give it to him anyway.

Toji... you're getting dick. Metaphorically and physically. Like he's not buying you shit but he is dicking you down. Like can't walk the next day Dicking you down. You can't even complain. You're satisfied. Your toes barely move without twitching. He does, however, make you toaster waffles the next morning. With orange juice.

Choso...sweet baby that he is...plans something elaborate ..that does not happen. He planned to do the Nanami thing and cook for you and give you a nice relaxing day. But he failed to remember he could not cook. Nearly burnt the damn apartment down. Instead, he orders your favorite take out. Puts on your favorite movie and let's you put your cold ass feet just under his legs to keep them warm. You end up making love on the couch while he's praying you don't smell the burnt food he had to throw away...you do but it's okay cause he's cute.

One stress done and another ready to beat my ass- 🧠

🧠nonny! sorry ml ive been so tired and busy myself i couldnt get to your ask, i have a little back log i still need to get through 😭.

First congrats on your book! That's amazingggg! Smut isn't needed and yeah definitely not if your parents are going to read it 😭😭.

Oooh are you going to go back to school for writing? I love the commitment!

"Worse is when they try to give you No sauce and then say, we don't serve marinara. Then why tf do you have cheese curds?"

NO OKAY CAUSE REAL!!! Or if you can tell the marinara they are using is old/not fresh, urgh.

Also fhjdasfkjhagdfhjab lmfao i know gojo house cleaner would quit if she wasnt getting paid so well. i cant imagine the messes she be coming across. but totally agreed!

Oooh and Geto! I bet hes such a good dancer too, so smooth. I see him being good at salsa and that shit be so touchy/sensual y'all ripping each other clothes off by the time you get home.

Ah yes, Nanami home is his castle! I can also imagine that with lots of flower petals, candles and essential oil. you'd feel like you were somewhere else the way he'd transform your living room.

TOJI MY MANNNNNNN. LISTEN I WILL GLADY TAKE THE TOASTER WAFFLES AND OJ (THAT I BOUGHT AT THE GROCERY STORE) OVER ANYTHING ELSE!!! <333

"Puts on your favorite movie and let's you put your cold ass feet just under his legs to keep them warm."

SEE IM CRYING NOW CAUSE THATS MY BABY GIRL AND THAT IS A NECESSITYYYY!!!! I absolutely love that, esp cause my feet are always cold tbh. He's so cuteeee ahhhh i love him. This was super cute!

What about Sukuna though? I feel like he would need Uraume to remind him of the big event, then Uraume would fine out what you like, buy it and then sukuna will give it to you lmfaoooo

[fictionfixations]

a nrc dorm tier list imo would be like..

(based on compatibility, besides preferences)

Heartslabyul

….why is thinking about it making me suddenly blank out on what every other dorms name is. wtf.

After a second option which idfk what dorm it is, would be Octavinelle. Ish cool. I'd probably be one of the sea creatures that'd die in the ocean tho.

..I've completely left the ranked by order of favorites option. So now I'm just saying what I like, with heartslabyul uncontensted.

I like Pomefiore's dorm uniforms, although I'd probably combust trying to remember everything when im as scatterbrained as Kalim

I took a test to see what dorm I'd be in and got Savanaclaw. Which sucks because I'm not the biggest fan of athletics (running can be fun but i just. hate being outside.), but im, well, as stubborn as an ox. which is funny cause thats my chinese zodiac sign

A dorm I'd probably want to be in instead would be Ignihyde because fuck yeah. introverts. indoor people. game people. anime people… these are my kind of people man >:D (but im horrible at technology stuff. a lot of its probably more memorization but if its not interesting me i dont focus. i swear most of my brain is stuffed to the brim with information about fandoms im not even in anymore and are completely useless to me. and i just. cant forget.?? ITS STUCK THERE. like. uh. dream smp. the existence of c![creator] and cc![creator] for clarification. because iirc, twitter trending was posts of 'DREAM ABUSED TOMMY AND CAUSED HIM TO KERMIT SEWER SLIDE' when it was all minecraft exile arc?? so they had to clarify NO it is not real and is roleplay. or like, this one post i read once of this person making like an essay about the dream smp, so the teacher just thinks its this really elaborate story. and then the last bit is sharing actual images about it, and how they're going to be shocked when they see pixels LMFAO. but like. im not int his fandom anymore, and i think it ended anyway??? so im just. huh??)

if only you could have the option to intentionally forget things and intentionally remember others..

actually clarification on heartslabyul but i ran out of characters on discord since thats where im writing my notes. uhm. i love heartslabyul, everything about it, and the characters and story-- but. in all honesty. if you put me in heartslabyul id do HORRIBLE. i wouldnt get along with riddle at all even though hes my favorite.. id just. get really pissed off. like, cause im really stubborn?? so i do this thing where the more someone tells me to do something the more i dont want to. even when i probably should :'D

anyway. um continuing on. I'd hate Scarabia. me and heat do NOT mix. ive once fainted (well. i was feeling really hot so i was seeing colors. and at one point i just couldnt see anything anymore. but i kept moving cause i was in a line. ..it didnt occur to me to talk to someone bout it??? i just wanted to get to where i knew some cold water awaited me. and then i walked right into a wall and then everything went blank for 10 seconds, thats apparently how long i was out, huh.) also im the type of person who focuses more on literal meanings instead of between the lines..

diasomnia. i honestly dont know that much about it. diasomnias just., nowhere on the list. i cant really put it anywhere can i? honestly id probably cry being yelled at by sebek LMFAO

[youredreamingofroo]

20-22 and 8-10 pleaseee ❤️

got a REAL big fan here, making me answer 6 questions 🤨

under the cut again cuz longggggg ass post LMFAO

20: Pick your favorite edit you've done

I dont really have a fav, its kind of hard to choose sometimes, but heres a couple of favs :)

21: Pick your least favorite edit you've done LMAO okay, doing a couple again cuz its hard to pick

first two sims have never been shared and I do plan to share them under the unrooleased tag, but anyways I hate the first one cuz of the text. I generally just hate all the pics I took from the second render, I just didnt know what i was doing or how to do the things i wanted to achieve. now LISTEN FOR THE LAST ONE, i know ITS CUTE BUT .... i just hate Leo's facial expression, its not how i want it to look and i couldnt fucking get it to look right, so i gave up on it.

22: is there an edit you didn’t like when you made it but like now?

so surprise surprise its actually my navi post pic, ONLY because the plan for this render was for it to be a like text conversation between an AI and Roo, so Roo is supposed to look annoyed at his phone and I only realized AFTER I finished rendering and got it into GIMP, just how stupid the conversation seems especially since some of the dialogue is supposed to be cut off but that doesnt work over text ykwim, and i ALMOST scrapped it, but I stuck it out cuz I thought it'd be cute idk, then I hated it, now I LOVEEEE it.

I dont think ill ever actually share the intended dialogue, but the AI was supposed to be named ROO - Recondite Ovoidance Overseer, and at the end of my navi post was supposed to be the end of the conversation with Roo commenting "That's not even how you spell Avoidance. Stupid technology." I mainly scrapped it cuz I figured nobody would read it and it doesnt make that much sense 🙃

8: show an unedited screenshot and the finished product

Bringing back the Cataleya render (if you were expecting any TS4 screenshots im sorry 😭😭), honestly all the before and afters of the renders from that post would probably give you whiplash but this is the one that i thought best showed off "before and after" screenshots/renders

9: show us your most recent edit an edit of my own edit cuz I made my laptop Roo themed and I needed a wallpaper version of the navi banner lmao

10: show us your oldest edit okay now THIS one i can get behind because I actually really like my first edit now looking back on it, im also doing a second one cuzzzzz im really proud of it as well looking back on it. My OLDEST oldest edit (the Catty one) was my first blender render as well, that one I used someone else's pose (i dont remember which one) and then my very next edit (of Constance) is where I made my own pose with a reference and it came out pretty nice, the vogue stuff is reallyyyyyy cute I love it, granted there is a LOT of noise on the first vogue one but from faraway it looks rlly good