#but i certainly learned a lot about what does and doesn't work and where i could have made improvements...

[cinnabar-cemetery]

maybe i'm setting the bar too high looking only at exchanges and big bangs and the like... events that require social interaction, ya know?

my favourite events were always themed weeks/months, but the last time i participated i was still capable of churning out multiple drawings/amvs a week and even then i would prefer themed months, so i could spread out my entries more without feeling like i'm not participating enough...

[tenwhiteandalusians]

and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.

[felassan]

David Gaider: "If I really dig into my empathy, I can kinda see the thinking here. Like, let's say you don't actually know much about games. You're in a big office with a bunch of other execs who also don't know much about games. What are they all saying? "Live games do big numbers!" "Action games are hot!" Your natural response? "We should make more action games, and all our games should have live service!" Cha-ching, right? Then some uppity devs spoil your buzz by saying "that doesn't apply equally to all games" or "we have an established IP with an audience that has certain expectations". You frown. You go look at their sales. Good, sure, but not as spectacular as live service and action games! Profit's great, but what's the point if you're not #1 in the charts? If you're not making headlines? If the devs can't make it work, this is THEIR failure. This, after all, is the future of gaming! Eventually, you're going to ask yourself why we (the company) even bother with those other games. Like single player games. It's a question you've asked aloud before. The fans bristle, but you're not here to supply every audience what they want. You're here to make money and increase share value. Maybe I'm being unkind. There are certainly all sorts of lessons a company could learn from a game like Veilguard (I still haven't played it, so I'm going off what other people have said), but "maybe it should have been live service" being the takeaway seems a bit short-sighted and self-serving. Not that there's any shortage of that, when it comes to deciding why a game doesn't do well. For the anti-woke crowd, for instance, there are woke games that do well and woke games that do poorly and only the ones that did poorly did so *because* they were woke. Says more about them than the game. My advice to EA (not that they care): you have an IP that a lot of people love. Deeply. At its height, it sold well enough to make you happy, right? Look at what it did best at the point where it sold the most. Follow Larian's lead and double down on that. The audience is still there. And waiting. ❤️" [source thread]

--

User: "Maybe they can sell the IP to Larian. Or someone else who would treat it respectfully." David Gaider: "I suspect Larian is, smartly, done with working on third-party IP. You do all that work, and the IP overlords do little more than dictate the minutiae and make your life difficult and then you have to cut them a huge slice of the proceeds too? Not a lot of studios are going to bite THAT hook. [source] I know you said SELL the IP, but there's no way EA will relinquish its hold on an IP that could potentially do big numbers. In their ideal world, a studio takes it on, does all the work, and they rake in the cash. Giving up that kind of potential would require BIG money... and who would buy it?" [source]

[jessica-problems]

Seeing @thydungeongal constantly wrestling with people interpreting her posts about D&D in ways that seem completely alien to me has convinced me that there are actually multiple completely distinct activities both being referred to as "playing D&D" Before we begin, I want to stress that I'm not saying one of these groups is Playing The Game Wrong or anything, but there seems to be a lot of confusion and conflict caused by people not being aware of the distinction. In fact, either one works just fine if everyone's on the same page. So far, I think I've identified at least two main groups. And nobody seems to realize the distinction between these groups even exists. The first group of people think of "Playing D&D" as, well, more or less like any other board game. Players read the whole rulebook all the way through, all the players follow the instructions, and the gameplay experience is determined by what the rules tell each player to do. This group thinks of the mechanics as, not exactly the *whole* game, but certainly the fundamental skeleton that everything else is built on top of. People in the second group think of "Playing D&D" as referring to, hanging out with their friends, collaboratively telling a story inspired by some of the elements in the rulebooks, maybe rolling some dice to see what happens when they can't decide. This group thinks of the mechanics of the game as, like... a spice to sprinkle on top of the story to mix things up. (if you belong to this second group, and think I'm explaining it poorly, please let me know, because I'm kind of piecing things together from other people saying things I don't understand and trying to reverse engineer how they seem to be approaching things.) I think this confusion is exacerbated by the fact that Wizards of the Coast markets D&D as if these are the same thing. They emphatically are not. the specific rules laid out of the D&D rulebooks actually direct players to tell a very specific kind of story. You can tell other stories if you ignore those rules (which still counts as "playing D&D" under the second definition, but doesn't under the first)And I think people in both groups are getting mad because they assume that everyone is also using their definition. For example, there's a common argument that I've seen play out many times that goes something like this:

A: "How do I mod D&D to do [insert theme here]?" B: "D&D is really not built for that, you should play [other TTRPG] that's designed for it instead" A: "But I don't want to learn a whole new game system!" B: "It will be easier to just learn a whole new system than mod D&D to do that." A: "whatever, I'll just mod D&D on my own" And I think where this argument comes from is the two groups described above completely talking past each other. No one understands what the other person is trying to say. From A's perspective, as a person in the second group, it sounds like A: "Anyone have some fun inspirations for telling stories about [insert theme here]?" B: "You can't sit around a table with your friends and tell a story about that theme! That's illegal." A: "But we want to tell a story about this theme!" B: "It's literally impossible to do that and you're a dumb idiot baby for even thinking about it." A: "whatever, jerk, I'll figure it out on my own."

--- Whereas, from B's perspective, the conversation sounds like A: "How do I change the rules of poker to be chess, and not be poker?" B: "uhhh, just play chess?" A: "But I already know how to player poker! I want to play poker, but also have it be chess!" B: "what the hell are you talking about? What does that even mean. They're completely different games." A: "I'm going to frankenstein these rules together into some kind of unplayably complex monster and you can't stop me!" ---

So both people end up coming away from the conversation thinking the other person is an idiot. And really, depending on how you concieve of what it means to "play D&D" what is being asked changes considerably. If you're only planning to look through the books for cool story inspiration, maybe borrow a cool little self contained sub-system here or there, then yeah, it's very possible to steal inspiration for your collaborative story from basically anywhere. Maybe some genres are kind of an awkward fit together, but you can make anything work with a little creativity.

If, however, you are thinking of the question in terms of frankensteining two entire board games together, then it becomes a massively difficult or even outright nonsensical idea. For example, for skill checks, the game Shadowrun has players roll a pool of several d6 at once, then count up how many rolled above a target value to see how well a character succeeded at a task. The whole game is full of specific rules about adding or removing dice from the pool, effects happening if you roll doubles, rerolling only some of the dice, and all sorts of other things that simply do not translate to rolling a single d20 for skill checks. On a basic level, the rules of the games work very differently. Trying to make them compatible would be much harder than just learning a new game from scratch. Now, neither of these approaches is exactly *wrong*, I guess, but personally, I find the rules of TTRPGs to be fascinating and worth taking the time to engage with all the weird little nuances and seeing what shakes out. Also, the first group, "TTRPG as fancy board game" is definitely the older and more widespread one. I kind of get the impression that the second group largely got into D&D through actual play podcasts, but I don't have any actual data to back that up. So, if you're in the second group, who thinks of D&D as basically a context for collaborative storytelling first and a game second, please let me know if I'm wildly misunderstanding how you approach D&D. Because I'm pretty sure it would save us a whole lot of stupid misunderstandings.

[arciam]

Deep Dive:

Jayce vs. Romance

(Or, Part 7½ of the "Underrated JayVik" meta series.)

I did say all the way back in part 7 that I might write a separate post about my perception of Jayce when it comes to romantic relationships, so that's what this is.

Obviously, this character-read is very informed by the notion of JayVik being a thing - because, y'know, so is my read of the show - so to start with, we'll have to take the following things for granted for the sake of argument:

Jayce is not straight (I'm not opposed to the idea of a cosmic love which transcends gender, I just don't think it has to be "only" that - we can have both you know)

Jayce's feelings for Viktor, at least by the end of the show, are romantic in nature and Jayce is aware of it (how him and those feelings get there is one topic of this meta)

I will extrapolate a lot from how Jayce behaves in his relationship with Mel, seeing as there are very limited points of reference otherwise

All of this is a personal hypothesis, not a claim to truth

And, if at any point you get the impression I'm talking about a character who might be on the spectrum here, I'm not saying that, but I'm not not saying that iykyk

Now, with all that out of the way:

1. Let me first tell you the story of a nerdy kid

Born into a lower House of toolmakers in the elite part of the city, this young man attends the prestigious academy as - essentially - "the poorest rich kid", where his only friend just might be the teenage daughter of his high-society patrons (who, by the way, are the only other people he will think to turn to outside of his family before deciding to end his life).

He's both a handy and a cerebral guy who has spent most of his life in single-minded pursuit of an outlandish (and also... quite illegal) idea. Everything in his life revolves around it; he hangs tapestries of magicians on his walls and fills his windowsill with interesting crystals he found. He travels to deserts and conducts covert research with dubious equipment, all in hopes of making his singular dream a reality.

So, if his lower status or the weird vibes of his hyperfixation didn't make him a loner, then the necessary secrecy surrounding his special interest certainly would.

(...At the same time, however, he just so happens to also be tall, built, conventionally attractive and carry himself with confidence - so when we as the audience first meet him, we kinda assume that he would be a popular person who has it all, though only because we're conditioned to assume so of people who, well, are like that. Also, the show does a clever thing by first introducing him to us bantering with a pretty girl who appears impressed by him, before we learn of their sibling-like relationship.)

Now, why do I say all of this when it has nothing much to do with romance?

Because this is the boy Jayce never stopped seeing in himself.

A nerd always tinkering away on his model railways in the basement by himself, essentially. He doesn't lack self-esteem necessarily; he is comfortable with who he is and confident in his cause, but he does rather see himself as the odd one out.

Even as the show goes on, despite his charm, his looks, his eloquence and talent for public speaking, I don't feel like Jayce ever truly realises the power and the appeal of him. He knows it tends to "work" whenever he takes the floor (and he is absolutely thrilled with the positive response), but I feel like it's a skill he steps into like a pair of dress shoes, more so than something he views as an innate part of who he is.

2. Boy meets girl - and boy (in one night!)

✨Pop quiz!✨

What happens when the guy who considers himself the least eligible bachelor in the room meets the two - in his eyes - coolest, sharpest, most capable and most admirable people he's ever seen?

(Or more importantly, when those same people express an interest in him and the singular thing his whole life revolves around?)

Well, essentially this:

Sorry, wrong image.

This:

This leads me to headcanon #1 regarding Jayce's relationships with other people:

Anytime any person Jayce looks up to tells him he's a good boy so much as gives him the time of day, he is thrilled.

3. So about that windfall...

Irrespective of all of what I just said though, Jayce also strikes me as a guy who... while definitely not uninterested in having a romantic relationship, doesn't ever actively go for people in a romantic way (or physical, for that matter).

And y'know, case in point is really just how my girl did all of that

yet not only is Mel still required to close the entire gap all by herself in the end, but even in moments where Jayce might recognise her flirtation, you just never see any gears turning in his head like "maybe I should do something about this".

(I remember actually laughing out loud when in episode 4, Mel sways her hips at Jayce asking "To what do I owe the pleasure~?", and for a moment, as Jayce hesitates, I obviously assumed he would pick up on the suggestiveness in some way - if only as recognition on his face -, only for him to go "It's Heimerdinger..." Like, literally the least sexy thing to possibly say in that moment. 😂)

This is why I previously described Jayce as a guy to just kind of... roll with the punches in situations like that.

Though less flatteringly, in conversation I have also likened him to the specific breed of man in real life who "seem content to let themselves be picked up like windfall" - not particularly choosey about who gets to do so and instead opting mostly for the path of least resistance, romance-wise.

Which brings us to headcanon #2:

Jayce - while a highly emotional person who is not afraid to show it - doesn't tend to consciously concern himself with and think about his feelings, what they mean, or where his romantic interests lie, really. He's mostly just along for the ride.

4. By God it's Mel Medarda with a steel chair..!

Now, what do you get when you combine these factors into one character?

Well in this specific case, you get Jayce Talis who - when one of the most capable and admirable people he knows decides, for some reason, that she wants a piece of him - is more than happy to oblige and be with an amazing person. He's just thrilled to be there, basically.

Congrats, Mel - you've managed to push through Jayce's complete lack of response to your advances and unlocked his rare "love-starved boyfriend" skin as a reward!

...So what about Viktor, then?

Well.

He didn't.

As I mentioned in the original post as well, my personal JayVik pet theory is such that "if at any point during their partnership Viktor had made a move first, I do believe Jayce would have put up the equal amount of resistance he did with Mel, so... zero."

(And when I say "move" I mean MOVE - again, nothing short of a smacker or outright love confession would have been enough to spark Jayce into action yet at that point.)

If we're taking the idea that Jayce is "not straight" for granted (which we are), then looking at both Mel and Viktor through Jayce's eyes, I honestly don't believe Mel ever had that much over Viktor in terms of being a viable romantic option - other than the simple fact that she is the one who claimed that spot.

Or, as @glassvines wrote in response to the original post: "Viktor had all the cards...but none of the confidence".

5. Now go sit in the corner and think about what you've done

So yeah, that's tragic and all, but then how do we get to this point?

"Now, all I want... is you."

(Oh hush, don't pretend this is not what that line actually means.)

Point being, if Jayce - while he might not have refused Viktor and may have been equally happy to "oblige" - never consciously considered his own desires and wouldn't have actively pursued a relationship not explicitly handed to him... then what happened for him to end up here, dishing out banger after banger of quotable love confessions which contain the clear message of "I have made my choice, and it's you"?

...Well, in a way I sorta gave it away with the very first image of this post, didn't I.

Oh, what a timeout in the naughty corner can do to set a guy's priorities straight...

With Jayce spending weeks in stark isolation at the bottom of a ravine in the most extreme allegory of "getting locked in a room with someone until you talk it out" (except the guy you're locked in with is you), this proves to be an absolutely crucial time of introspection for him in a multitude of ways.

It's where he faces the wrong turns he took, realises that Heimerdinger was always right about the Arcane's corruption, and recognises the ways in which Mel had used and manipulated him.

It's also where he finally realises what - who - was most important to him all along, and in what way.

(The first three, you can glean from the voice lines played over the scene by the way, in case you're wondering.

So is that last bit just me making stuff up, then? No - it's an interpretation for sure, but not a fabrication. See, the shot of Mel's image burning away before Jayce and giving way to Viktor's instead is not only interesting for drawing yet another parallel between them, but also for being a shot that is otherwise out of place with the voice lines. For instance, there are several lines from Heimerdinger, yet Jayce doesn't envision him; there are none from Viktor - a striking absence in and of itself -, yet he does appear.

If nothing else, what this tells us is that this shot is - mostly - detached from Jayce's other epiphanies that I specified above. At which point, if you then take the shot by itself and purely at face value, it does become a... surprisingly candid symbolism really, if you ask me.)

To be clear though: The preference was always there.

After all, Jayce had previously already recognised that his place had always been with Viktor. Also he did dip out of Mel's bed to go see Viktor before he could have even known Viktor was sick that one time, so...

He just hadn't really thought about what that meant.

But lo and behold, it only took a stint in boyfailure jail for Jayce to consciously come to the realisation of not only that, but also that he is, in fact, not content to be windfall about whom he pledges his love and loyalty to anymore.

He wants to close the gap this time.

And to think: all of that even before he learned that Viktor was also the cause of his lifelong special interest in the first place like whaaaat. Imagine the day he must be having...

Jokes aside though; obviously, there is something to be said about Jayce meeting mage!Viktor and finally understanding - as I pointed out in part 13 - just how much Viktor truly needs him, and this perhaps being the final piece of the puzzle for Jayce to realise his priorities as well.

It would have made this post even longer though, and not even added very much, since I do believe multiple things can be true at once here.

Part 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/7½/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20

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[mind-intheclouds342]

Helping Daisuke!

(I don't know why but i think you all gonna think that the way i write its pretty funny and weird, it's just so different making it in spanish.

My first language isn't english and i'm trying my best doing this for the first time!

I hope that at least you can all enjoy it a little bit)

This is pure fluff

You thought you were going to have a horrible experience on that ship, but a light was there to brighten your days.

After finishing high school, you weren't quite sure how your life was going to keep going or what you were going to do.

Your parents were very worried about you, immediately urging you to do different things that only ended up putting more stress on you.

Until they achieved this, and you accepted, you needed to escape from them and have time for yourself.

You never imagined that one day you would reach space, it was something unreal for you.

The fact that they hire people with no experience at all it seemed so strange, but you didn't complain too much about it or think of it.

You ended up being Anya's intern, who was in charge of the nursery.

You liked her a lot, she was so calm and sweet with you, and you felt secure having another woman on the crew.

At the beginning of the trip, you were extremely focused on learning as much knowledge as possible from her, where the medications were located, CPR techniques, how to perform a routine check-up, and other things.

In any case, you kept a certain distance from others, feeling defenseless in front of everyone else since they were older than you and had the necessary experience to do their jobs, while you only felt like an intruder.

But not with him.

Daisuke had gone through a situation similar to yours, ending up as Swansea's intern, helping him with mechanical work.

But you two hadn't exchanged a word until that day…

Swansea: "Hey (Y/n), I need you to help me with something, and it would be better if you bring your emergency kit"

You had been alarmed immediately upon hearing the man call you, but you nodded to accompany him; he certainly looked upset, making you wonder what had happened.

Swansea: "I couldn't find Anya, you were the closest one to ask for help, because I need you to fix this idiot soon."

He mentioned, pointing at a Daisuke sitting on a box, thinking about what had happened.

You immediately noticed the drops of blood on the floor, you began to carefully examine the boy's body until you found that he had a piece of metal embedded in the palm of his hand.

You tilted your head, analyzing the wound for a moment; it wasn't large, the metal was cylindrical and of small diameter.

"How did that happen?"

Swansea: "Ask the fool, I don't wanna here, if I keep seeing him I'm going to smack him"

He ran his hand over his face in frustration before leaving.

You couldn't help but smile, noticing that he was truly worried about the boy.

You approached and sat down in front of him.

Daisuke looked up to see you, and his eyes soon began to search for something else to focus on.

"I'm going to need you to lend me a hand."

You said, extending your hands, hoping he would do the same.

Daisuke: "Really, it wasn't as stupid as the boss says! Seriously, I was doing something very, very important"

He began to speak nervously, to which you just kept staring at him, waiting for his hand. Defeated, he finally handed it to you.

"So, what was that totally not silly and super important thing you were doing?"

Daisuke: "As you can imagine! Swansea couldn't fix inside the ventilation ducts for obvious reasons! I wanted to help him and I climbed up! But… I fell and my hand got stuck as you can see… It was for a good cause!"

"Mmh"

You hummed, focused, watching the swelling around the metal, and touched the boy's fingers, making sure it hadn't pierced any tendons or bones.

Daisuke: "Does it look very bad? It doesn't hurt as much as you might think"

"It's going to hurt."

You warned him, leaving him confused, when you put on a glove and ripped the metal off, making him let out an extremely high-pitched scream.

Both of them stood there, surprised by how he had shouted, the boy immediately turning red.

"The good thing is that it didn't go through anything important, you were lucky."

You began to clean the wound carefully.

Daisuke: "Great… Great… Soooo… what things are you into?"

You raised your gaze curiously for a moment at his question.

Daisuke: "I need to talk to distract myself from the pain."

"What do I like?… Lemme see… I like watching series… Listening to music… Read… Normal things, I guess? Nothing extraordinary"

Daisuke: "Those are awesome things! What kind of series do you like to watch? Oh! What's your favorite music genre? I can teach you some awesome songs! Do you like movies? I love action movies! Ka-pow!"

You couldn't help but laugh a little at his enthusiasm while you were already bandaging his wound.

"You're going to have to take good care of yourself and we'll do some check-ups from time to time, okay?"

Daisuke: "You mean like dates?…….I mean! Medical! Medical dates!! Medical appointments?"

You were surprised by that and smiled at him, raising an eyebrow, starting to understand what all that nervousness was about.

"We can also have dates, if you like, although it will be difficult on the ship, but if you're okay with a day playing cards and watching the screen, then I think we can make it work."

Daisuke: "Are you serious??"

You could see how her entire face lit up with your suggestion.

"I'm not going to deny it, you're cute, and you're the only one my age, I feel much more comfortable with you."

Daisuke: "Eh-? Seriously, is that all you see??"

"…You have never spoken to me! How could I like anything else about you if I don't know you?"

Daisuke: "It's just that talking to girls makes me nervous… I was afraid of saying something that would make you think I'm an idiot-"

"Okay, so… What do you like about me?"

Daisuke: "…That you're my age… and you're pretty…"

You crossed your arms at his vague answer like yours.

Daisuke: "How handsome do you think I am? The most handsome one in the crew, am i rigth?"

He smiled, running his hand through his hair, making you laugh.

"The second one, I would say~ but Captain Curly is too old for me."

Daisuke: "I didn't want to know that! Lie to meeeee!"

He stayed, and you could only laugh more, to the point where you accidentally started to snort, covering your mouth trying to stop laughing.

Daisuke found that even more adorable and magnificent, his cheeks flushing even more, thinking that he might have a chance with such a sweet girl who laughs at his silly words and actions.

"Remember, no matter how much it itches, you mustn't scratch it, okay?"

You indicated to him after you had caught your breath and stopped laughing, you had to return to the infirmary to leave the emergency kit you had taken.

Daisuke: "Got it!"

He brought his hand to his forehead and smiled at you.

You returned the smile and approached him to leave a kiss on your cheek before leaving.

He stood in place for a few seconds before jumping up, shouting with joy, raised his hand wanting to high-five someone, but realizing he was alone, he high-fived himself.

Something he immediately regretted but it was worth it.

Anya: "Oh, (Y/n) was looking for you"

"I was helping Daisuke, he had hurt himself, here I bring the kit to put it back in place."

Anya: "Yes, it had a very nasty wound"

"…How do you know?"

Anya: "Well, I was the first to see it but Swansea suggested that you should see it to test what you've learned, I'm sure you did great."

You let out a chuckle upon hearing that, so Swansea took it upon himself to help you talk to each other, he really do cares about Daisuke.

[blade-liger-4ever]

Smokescreen is more like Orion Pax/Optimus Prime, and here's why I think this.

So, I know my post deconstructing Jack's informed "Prime-like" qualities is making the rounds, and seeing as I promised to do one with Smokescreen and how he is like Orion/Optimus, I feel now would be a good time to make good on that promise.

Buckle up and hang tight, especially since TF One will be mentioned as well for this post.

So, from what we know of Smokescreen in TFP, he was one of the last few cadets inducted into the Elite Guard. That right there tells us that the young 'Bot has raw potential, since not just anyone gets into the Elite Guard. By all accounts, he threw himself into the rigorous training and powered through to become well received, and made enough of a statement to become Alpha Trion's bodyguard. That right there takes talent, even if he did want to do his part and fight on the front line and beat Decepticon heads in. And yes, he was distraught to be relegated to Alpha Trion watch duty and yes, he was disappointed to not be out there in the thick of it fighting with his fellow Autobots for the greater good.

But he accepted it.

Not once was it mentioned that Smokescreen put in a transfer request for the front line of the War. He may have wanted to fight and, maybe, gain a little glory and be like the heroes he'd heard about, but it actually never got to his head, or his Spark. Instead, he rolled with what he had and came to genuinely enjoy a friendship with Alpha Trion, learning a lot from him as well. Smokescreen still took a chance to get in a fight, but he never went in without at least a rough outline of a plan, as evidenced by his debut episode and then again later on, even in the infamous episode where the team gets the Star Saber.

Speaking of, that episode shows us another of Smokescreen's great traits: his refusal to be intimidated by the Decepticons - including Megatron himself.

And the thing is, Smokescreen truly is fearless in front of Megatron in that episode. He's brought before the Lord of the Decepticons, surrounded on all sides with no escape, and is almost certainly seconds away from death or horrid torture. But what does he do when asked who he is?

Smokescreen smirks and sarcastically asks, "Why? Who wants to know?"

The boy nearly got backhanded into oblivion for that, and he still kept his scrap together! Put anyone else in that position, and some transmission fluid is seriously getting leaked.

Except, of course, for one 'Bot.

Optimus Prime.

This is where their similarities are shown first. Like Smokescreen, Orion/Optimus has tremendous talent that, at first raw, gets refined over time. While he is nowhere near as brash or reckless as Smokescreen started (outside of TF One), Optimus always wants to do his part, and throws himself into his work and dreams and gives it his all. He consistently comes out better and stronger from his trials, and doesn't fear Megatron or anyone else on the Decepticons' side, just like Smokescreen. Here, they're shown as similar, including with how they both stand up for what's right, and plant themselves in the ground and fight for what is good and greater than themselves.

Another similarity they share is how they accept their wrongs and don't shirk them onto another. While I have many reservations on his portrayal in TF One, the writers nailed Orion/Optimus when he takes full responsibility for the race when he and D-16 were met with Sentinel after the fact. Additionally, Orion/Optimus was always eager to make a point for the greater good and was willing to be an engine of change for others, no matter what. On the same token, while Smokescreen had a tendency to be overzealous in proving his worth to the team, he persistently pulled his own weight and, when it came to messing up, he always took full responsibility for his actions. He even went beyond that, often feeling so remorseful that he continually offered to leave the team if he was "unfit for [them]" (be honest with yourselves, Optimus at any point before becoming a Prime would do almost the exact same thing.) Furthermore, whenever he was being verbally attacked by another teammate, Smokescreen took it and didn't give crap back. Even when Vince threw that burger at his window, his payback was more on behalf of Jack's dignity than his own.

Just think about it: why would a human throw food at him specifically? It logically would have been directed at his passenger, a notion that's reinforced by Jack's desperation to hide from Vince's sight. And if you want to really get deep, compare it to Orion standing up to Darkwing for D-16 in the mines. Are both courses of action immature? Yes, but they're done on behalf of someone other than themselves. It's even shown again when Smokescreen defends Optimus' choice to destroy the Omega Lock against Ratchet. While this is the first time he's ever spoken up to someone on the team, it's in defense of Optimus and pointing out that Ratchet has no place to read Optimus the riot act for a make-or-break decision in an already desperate situation that would have doomed millions to billions of more lives. Smokescreen had always stayed quiet and followed directives as well as he could without a word of complaint up until that moment, and the only reason he raised his hackles was because Ratchet was lamenting a loss that pales in comparison to the disaster that was averted [and was ultimately Ratchet's own fault for creating.]

This is the beauty of the similarities between Optimus and Smokescreen. Neither of them take particular offense when they themselves are attacked/ridiculed, but will fight tooth and nail for those they care about if you so much as say one nasty thing about their friends. They both hold fast to all that is good, want to help change the world/make it a better place, and are proactive about it. And while they both start out like high school jocks (I'm mostly thinking of G1 Orion Pax for this), they never let their abilities go to their head and make them think of themselves above others. Instead, they merely see their abilities as tools to help those around them: Optimus used his mind, eloquence with words, and physical power to kick off the change he wanted on Cybertron, while Smokescreen willingly offered his full array of skills and fresh power to aid Team Prime for the War effort and replenish their numbers.

These traits wonderfully show that Smokescreen is, in actuality, a worthy Prime for the future. He puts others before himself, he is active in helping those who need it, he runs into the fire when others run from it, and turns down a chance to become a Prime because he knows he doesn't have the experience for it. This especially is important because it shows that while Smokescreen was a bit starry-eyed about war and ranks, he never wanted power.

He wanted to be an agent of good, just like Optimus.

And he was.

That's all I really have left to say. If you enjoyed this, I'm really happy. TFP Smokescreen is my second favorite character in, possibly, all of Transformers. I wish his potential for the Primacy wasn't slept on by so many fans in favor of Bumblebee, and that we could actually see him take up the Matrix after Optimus (preferably) retires to enjoy peace for once.

See you around people!

"Autobots, roll out!"

[wuwapetal1s]

write anything abt geshu lin or calcharo im begging on my hands and knees ill give u my first born or a kidney whichever u want

I don't need any organs can I have a pair of knees maybe (ty for the request anon :3)

Love languages

content: sfw, rambling-ish format, not entirely proofread (it's midnight currently), swearing used, etc.

reqs open!

— Calcharo.

Calcharo is an ‘acts of service man’ through and through. To me, he doesn't seem the best at giving affection verbally though he thinks he's *very* good at it personally. As in, you will ask him for comfort or reassurance and he'll give it to you readily… But it will sound so stern coming from him.

“I feel uncomfortable with [such and such]..”

“I understand. I will rectify/fix that.”

Communication KING, though I imagine it can still feel very intimidating to bring stuff up to him. It will always be met with understanding, and he certainly would try his hardest to accommodate what language/tone you'd rather hear in those moments (autistic.)

Getting back to the original point, he will do just about anything for you. There's hardly any limits or rules to that fact. He will kill for you, he will fight for you, he will get in trouble with the law for you, etc etc. He'll also grab extra of your snacks the moment he's back in town and stops at the market before he goes to visit you.

Tired from a long day at work or studying? He'll clean up as quietly as he can while you sleep. You'll wake up to all the dishes done and your living space looks pretty much spotless.

He's the kind of man to learn how you organize things pretty easily, even if you're a very messy person. He's very clued in on anything that involves you (smitten, much?) and he's also just got a keen eye on him.

"Ugh, I can't find where I left my-”

“Bottom drawer of the nightstand.”

“Oh.. Thank you!”

He loves holding and kissing you as well, it's his favorite thing to be welcomed home to. Just the ability to sink into your arms is like heaven to him. Receiving, he probably likes physical touch a lot more, but he feels 100x more satisfied doing something for you to show he cares :).

— Genshu Lin.

Genshu Lin is a possessive man. It's subtle, but it's definitely there. Above all else, he adores you. He's a deeply devoted person when in a relationship, though I don't feel like he's had a lot of experience to pinpoint that exactly, but it's his nature. I believe he enjoys gifting you things he gets his hands on, trinkets or otherwise.

He mostly enjoys giving you things you can make use of or wear. He always gets a warmth in his chest when he sees you in the bracelet he got you (one that matches his that he keeps tucked away for safekeeping) or using pens he gave you after you kept losing your last ones. As long as it works, suits you, and it means a lot to you, he's snatching it up.

I also believe he's a sucker for stealing kisses in private. He may not seem it to anyone else, but he's a softie. Just for you though. Cooking something or simply sitting around? Funny how his lips just found their way to your cheek!

He's a bit more apprehensive about receiving it unless it's the time you two lay in bed together, then he'd let you rub his back or play with his hair. In return, he most enjoys quality time.

Even if it's something as mundane as running an errand or having to pick something up from the pharmacy he wants you there. He'd tell you “I don't need your presence, I just prefer it” if questioned, but he does need it. More than he knows or even lets on, he wants you and needs you there. He hates having to be away from you. It drives him up a wall almost. Like nearly insane.

After long hours working or even days/weeks of it he wants nothing more than to just lay with you and bathe in your presence as if it's a balm for his soul :’).

I love these men they're so fine

[evilminji]

Know what's been haunting me? And my Yandere loving brain?

What if... an SI-OC? Fffffucked UP™?

Like? STRAIGHT up "....Oh No. I have? GRAVELY miscalculated."? Cause? And I'm probably wrong here, or forgetting nuisances, but? Dooku? Left the order and began his Fall? NOT because he disagreed with the vast majority of Jedi philosophy... but?

Because of what the Jedi had BECOME.

Senate attack dogs. Indentured servants. Following NOT the Force or their Orders Mandate, but a mere GOVERMANT. Politicians. Straight into ruin and slaughter no less! It was vile. Corrupt. A perversion and degradation of HIS beloved Jedi Order.

He was proud and filled with grief, isolated. Palpatine chose well.

But! He was ALSO a Master Jedi with DECADES of Mastery under his belt. You do not become that with out clear vision of what you want. Who you ARE. And Dooku? Very CLEARLY planned on winning. Killing Sidious and taking his place. An unfortunate necessity, really. In his Grand Plan™.

Too?

Start over, obviously.

Instead of just leaving and starting a NORMAL Religious Schism, building a temple on Serrano, and publicly calling his old Council members lil bitchs. Slap fighting in the town square, as is traditional. Maybe sending pass aggressive notes back and forth in the hands of increasingly spoiled Padawan, because OUR temple at least FEEDS these POOR WAIFS. Etc etc?

Dude went the SITH route. Of... you know... "kill everybody".

Bit extreme. Just saying.

However! Dooku? Not well! In fact, DEEPLY unhinged and masterfully hiding it! Because he is, in fact, a MASTER jedi! And know how to fucking DO THAT. So that slow creep of Deepyly Crazy? No one sees it. Gives ya time to miss the countdown to Boom, as it were.

Which leads to our dearly beloved SI. She? Is a well meaning IDIOT. She can't help it. It's the Force, man. All that feel good juice, clogging up her brain! Making her? Optimistic! Vaguely perky! Wanting to see the GOOD in people!!!

Disturbing, she knows. But it is what it is.

And MASTER Dooku? Feels? Stern but warm. Stalwart. Like one of those ancient trees or great temples in a quite moment. Old and powerful, not necessarily KIND, but certainly not UNKIND. Just... fussy, you know? Proper. Collected and self contained. Doesn't like messy and dirty and needless noise.

So... what's an itty bitty Crecheling to do? To stop this Respected Master from falling? Well... Yoda seems to think "babies" works? And SHE is Baby...

Better scrub down so I'm EXTRA not "why are all children so... sticky?" and make my self look as presentable as possible. Then? Plan: Stalk the Respected Master Dooku Like A Duckling is a GO~! Yoda finds this INSTANTLY hilarious. Starts feeding her insider information (One of his many, later Great Regrets).

Dooku likes THIS tea. Meditates in THIS garden. Ask him about THIS subject, no one listens to him rant about it, he'll enjoy lecturing you about it for HOURS. She actually learns quite a lot! Man's a good teacher. And SHE? Is a dutiful, polite, thoughtful, shining young paragon example of what he feels the Jedi SHOULD be.

She LISTENS. Unlike his foolish peers. She tries to better herself, day by day, instead of running around screaming and playing in mud. Asks after etiquette from the courts he's traveled too, so she does not offend in the future. Does not react with blind disgust to questions others would deem heretical!

Instead? SHE comes from a JEDI place of approach with compassion and consultation of the Force. What creates the most GOOD? How can we strive for the kindest, most ethical, most equal social possible? What brings the universe the most Light? Where do OUR duties end and the duties of OTHERS begin, and when is it time to call them on their failings, should there be any?

It is? Delightful~ if he were not already committed to his path, he would seriously consider taking her on as a Padawn. Like the Granddaughter he never had. In FACT? He is conflicted. While he does not wish to lose the bright little light he has become so accustomed too? He should probably do what is best for her.

He IS leaving after all. Eventually. Perhaps after Qui-Gon finally knights his own padawn. He can convince the man to come with him. A talk between them has been so very, very long overdue. And the man is like a son to him. Young Obi-Wan is a fine young Jedi. Upstanding and collected, could use a bit of tempering. Outrageous flirt. It would be hilarious.

It's a good plan.... right up until it isn't.

Until the Council's BLINDNESS lead his SON to dying alone. For Sidious little games. And the place in HIS chosen lineage is USURPED by some WHINY SAND COVERED BRAT who can not CONTROL himself! No. NO.

Absolutely Not.

As far as HE is concerned? HIS lineage? Goes him, Qui-gon, Obi-Wan, and then SI-OC. No Sand Brat. Is he spiraling? Oh yes. Has been for a while. But now? NOW someone just kicked out a major support beam. The building is a'shaking. SI-OC is worried. Knows this could make or break his Fall.

Doesn't realize that ship has sailed LONG before she arrived.

Jedi Master's do not Fall over night. It is the slow erosion that kills them. Death by ten thousand cuts. He was already thousands deep. Bleeding and bleeding, beyond her abilities to heal. Yoda could have changed things. He is a Master. But a mere Crecheling? An untrained child? No. She stood no chance.

Does not realize that, as she stands in the heart of the storm. The center of the bear trap. As composed Master Dooku grieves and rages, hair disheveled and robes a mess. No, he can not come to the comm right now. No, he is not taking visitors, thank you. Please, Master Dooku. Please! Drink some tea? Eat? Something. Anything. I beg you.

It is a focal point. An anchor to cling to, in that great Fall. As SI-OC fusses with blankets and music that might help, pressing her small and fragile light against his shields like a comforting weight. As though trying to protect him from the pain. As though ANYTHING could protect him.

Sits with him, in remembrance.

Comes with him, to the funeral.... where stands the sand brat. At HER Master's side. As though enough has not been stolen. How dare he? How dare THEY? To allow this!? Hatred festers. Rage. The mania that Darkness brings. He sees now. Ooooo ho ho, does he now see.

The Order has become Rotten. It cannot be saved. The Jedi have lost their way.

The old must be purged... and they must begin again.

It's all so CLEAR now. So simple. The path forward. Its so obvious now, HE is not leaving, oh no, THEY are leaving. It would be madness to leave a vulnerable Crecheling in such unfettered corruption. Exposed to the nonexistent mercies of Sidious and his ilk. Not to mention, Force knows what filth they'd attempt to stuff in her head behind his back!

Knight Kenobi is an adult. Can comport himself and defend his person. SI-OC can not. She is just a youngling. Should have BARELY been a padawn. But... things have changed.

SI-OC fall asleep, comfortable and certain she is perfectly safe, in MASTER Dooku's apartments. Just another Tea Time and obscure Force Philosophy lecture. Maybe some hands-on etiquette lessons. There are many, MANY different ways to take tea. And... man... the room is so cozy. Always so comfortable and tastefully inviting. Warm an... an snoozy... feelin... *thunk of a small child falling over, dead to the world*

Drugged? Sleep suggestion? Soothing bedtime tea? Yes. Yes, he did. She stood literally negative chances. He scoops up HIS granddaughter and leaves droids to pack the rest. Tucks her under his cloak. No one thinks to even check. Who would? He is trusted. Respected. It is well known how he dotes upon the child. Old age has softened him, some jest.

The dangers of attachment indeed. But it is not HIM who is in danger. It is HER who his attachment endangers. Because he can not let go. WILL NOT. Because it can crossed from caring to obsessive. Possessive. To mine, mine, mine.

Children are not property. Not toys or trophies. Teddy bears to squeeze until your hurt stops. They are living, breathing, entities in their own right. Which is something a JEDI would be able to accept. The SITH? No. No, see, his Great-grandpadawn is HIS. This is HIS family. HIS Jedi order. HIS plan to "fix" everything.

She done fucked up.

She wakes up on a ship to Serrano with COUNT Dooku.

His... his eyes turn Interesting Colors now. Ha ha... she is... staying Very Calm. It is REALLY important to stay VERY calm. No sudden movements. We Do Not startle the Darksider! Eeeeeeverones FRIENDS here! R-Right?

Oh of course. Nothing to be worried about, dear. You're just going to his Manor until the NEW temple is finished. (Neat. Terrifying. So, SO many horrifying parts of that sentence). And SI-OC? Pulls the good ol "never argue with the crazy person with a gun" technique. Smile and Nod! Mmmmhmmm! G-great! Can't wait!

(Oh god, help me)

War breaks out. She's on THE Separatist planet. But not? Before crazy grandpa? Has hired bounty hunters to find him force sensitive kids. You know, for the NEW Jedi order. Because we're all pretending here. Smile and nod, fellow hostages. For the love of the Force, smile and nod.

She's not entirely even certain half these children were from families that WANTED to give them up. It makes her sick to think about.

She still has to have Tea Time. Because she, a child, is the HEAD of the New Order. And he has decades of Jedi knowledge to impart. Also? Lonely and fixating. We're a happy family. Because I say so and have hostages. That's why you love you, don't you dear? *SI-OC with a wide, terrified hostage smile* mmmmhmm!

The Jedi? Have figured out what happened. Crecheling mysteriously disappeared at the same time a Count Dooku? They originally thought she tried to follow him. Got lost or grabbed by slavers. But now... NOW? Oh Force they know they horrifying truth. The Darksider stole a CHILD.

Everyone remembers SI-OC. She was the sweet little duckling. Well behaved and polite. A kind child. Worried for Count Dooku. And now look at what's happened?! The CIS is trotting out the "head" or their "new order" and it's their lost Crecheling. Now a teenager. Terror in her eyes and a fixed jedi smile.

The Creche Masters have to be physically dragged away from stealth ships. (They're just going to talk! They're jUST GOING TO TAL-!!!) Plo Koon is fucking HELPING and that's NOT helpful! No, your commander do NOT have "a point"! You can not do just a "little bit" of murder as "a treat"!

A certain Quinlan Vos? Never heard of him, of course, rocks up to this New Order with a smoothie. Has betrayed the OLD order and the Republic. Definitely for realisies and not because he's here to spy! Heeeeey, kiddo. How you holding up?

Answer? Oh THANK GOD, AN ADULT JEDI! Halp! Followed by gross sobbing. So... you know... not GREAT. Wouldn't recommend it.

But! The INTEL. Sweet holy shit, kid. Chips. Palpatine. Dooku behind the Clones. Everything ELSE she's quietly been noting down. Uuuuh, yeah. Yeah that WILL be... real useful.... Holy shit. No, seriously, give him a second. Just like that? Huh. Didn't even have to convince you. Wow. Okay.

Well then! Let's fuck over some Sith!

How the Shadows go about it? Probably very action movie and nail biting. High octane. Sweet big budget cgi effects. They get the De-chipped clones involved. Fox gets to finally, FINALLY shoot his boss. Never a happier man. He deserves it.

But that's not important. What IS? Is Quinlan Vos? Showing up to the Temple, with a burger and smelling strongly of smoke, and like.... over 450 force sensitive younglings, teenage and below. And probably a litter of tookas. Because what? Were they supposed to LEAVE them?

She takes One(1) step into the temple and gets hit with like? Three generations of Guilt Complexes. Man Pain. Yoda, Obi-Wan, AND Anikin? Mother FUCKER, you were 9! What were you supposed to DO? Bite him?! You literally JUST GOT HERE. *SI-OC has used Logic against Skywalker Guilt... it is not very effective!*

When? When will she be freeeeeeee? Cannon Yoda had the right idea.

She should go hide in a fucking SWAMP.

@babbling-babull @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @lolottes @hypewinter @mayfay @hdgnj

[surelysilly]

i love your King Of Hell Danny (superphantom) au and i would greatly (very much) appreciate it if you could talk more about it (King Of Hell Danny) i love his (danny) smug cat energy (smug) in all of your drawing for it (hell is under New Management)

i hope you're ready for this some rambling but ask and you shall receive!!! yes i waited to post this for superphantom week i gotta shill for my own event, y'know :9

So. You want to know more about King of Hell Danny, is it?

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5

Well. Well. He's certainly Danny. Or more specifically I've decided as of recent, Dark Danny. I'm waffling on whether he's Dan Dark Danny or just... Phantom sans Plasimus. The latter feels less likely as i try to flesh him out, but you never know with these guys... he does prefer to look like his 14 yr old self though.

But whatever version he is of himself... it's post-TUE, and he hates himself more than anyone is allowed to know.

Not sure exactly how he ended up in the SPNverse (portal probably!), but he'd definitely prefer going back to his own world/dimension in a heavily buried sense of self-flagellation and unreliable narrator-ness.

Everyone is waiting for him there, not here, wherever he is exactly. This implies anyone is left alive, but he never said that. People (Crowley, etc.) just assume so.

and he's the worst lil jerk you could ever meet, at a first, second, and third, glance, anyway.

Smug cat, indeed. He does what he wants, when he wants, how he wants, and taking over Hell felt right. (isn't that where he'd go? he thinks, after learning Hell is actually real.)

he's overpowered for sure, but it also comes from a misconception for what he is. Not a demon, not human, a secret Third Thing: weird ghost.

i like to think most regular ghost counter measures work on him, but no one thinks to try them because that ain't no ghost??? He plays the part really well though, pretending to be a demon (and gets mislabelled a crossroads demon for his red eyes) -- it doesn't bother him to kill people, but he doesn't go out of his way to do it anymore.

KOH!Danny having it out for the Winchesters is a very thoughtless and fun thing, and it would piss him off when they try to summon Crowley, but in all actuality, he'd probably end up begrudgingly working with them or something.

And ultimately betray them.

I also think his goal would be to fuse with Lucifer when he's freed from the Cage. That should give him enough power to bust a hole back to his OG dimension, right?

maybe. Who knows.

You can certainly find him at DIY skateparks across the globe. He's an asshole to anyone and everyone, but god have mercy on anyone looking to cause trouble while he's trying to have a good time (he feels guilty about it, though, having fun -- it's a circle of shame/guilt/fuck it we ball mentality, here for a good time not a long time).

he can 'see' Castiel's wings and if in his presense, will pluck at them because he's annoying like that.

Crowley became his lap dog though, regardless of intial beheadings because... Hell generates a lot of paperwork the way Crowley was running it, and KOH!Danny don't got the time for all of that.

eventually I'm sure someone will figure him out, ghost weaknesses and all, but it's not 1:1 SPNverse ghost: no bones to burn, no records of him being alive ever, etc., but he's definitely solid enough.

i could see a later quest like what the Winchesters did to find Crowley's remains, but they'd spiral down a hole of "where hell did this creature even come from???" and the Men of Letters/Angels/anyone wouldn't know jack about what he even is exactly.

i'm so rusty on SPN though... but those are my cobbled together ideas. I'd place him mid-ish seasons Supernatural (because ive only really seen s4 thru s8...) but i think the 'hijinks' of later seasons could be fun with the seriousness of early, early seasons sprinked in!

[thegoldencontracts]

Is it just me, or is Azul's whole character arc contain some really good commentary on modern society (Particularly the hyperindividualistic grind/self improvement/hustle culture)?

I know this seems like a curtains are just blue moment but hear me out-

A man of a minority race in his country, bullied for not being conventionally attractive, for not being athletic, for his race, really, his- everything. And how does he react to it?

He grinds to improve himself. He chases after increasing numbers—more money, more talents, more, more, more. He becomes skinny. He becomes a human. He becomes talented and powerful.

But is this really the best way for him to react? Hell no! If everything was right, he would've been given a place to find solace, a therapist, a healthy outlet for his emotions. But no such place exists. All he can do to find comfort is furiously chase after self improvement, more and more until he can't even be sure if it's really improvement anymore.

I've seen this kind of thing. Online, and in real life. People—particularly men, but I've also seen it happen to women—who are treated poorly by their peers, who aren't given a safe place to recover and share their emotions, who end up learning hard into self improvement.

And so Azul, like these people. becomes fit and talented and human. But... is he happy?

Well, he's on the verge of overblot by the time we meet him, and he has heavily disordered eating patterns, so that question answers itself. He seems happy to an undiscerning eye, maybe. Successful, a teenage owner of a successful business. But he is certainly not happy.

And Jade and Floyd, though they're his friends, certainly, don't act like it. They struggle to admit they care, straight up calling themselves "business parters." Isn't that a thing in a lot of men's friendships nowadays? Where unabashed affection is seen as "cringey" or "lame"? They're concerned for him and his issues, clearly, but they still make insensitive jokes about it at times (I'm looking at you and the fat jokes, Jade Leech).

Azul is miserable. But still, even though he has friends, he has no healthy outlet for it. What does he do instead? Grind for more. And in the process, he hurts other people, too. He is, in his current state, not the best person. Because of his trauma, he's hurt others, taking their talents and even forcing them into servitude.

A lot of people stuck in hustle culture do absolutely shitty things. And like with Azul... there's no excuse for it. Seriously. I love Azul, but I will be the first to admit, he's not a good person.

But then the overblot happens. He loses his life's work. But is that really so bad when his life's work was a collection of times he'd hurt other people? Yes, a particularly shrewd individual could say "Well, he earned those talents, fair and square. He always delivers on his end of the bargain." But we don't know that for sure. Especially since we've seen him use the fact that a magicless sixteen year old is having access to food and shelter held over their head by the supposed "responsible adult" in order to take their home. Yes, this was likely his worst moment. Still— him losing the contracts wasn't so bad. I think it was a wake up call for him.

Unfortunately, though, because of all the turmoil he was already dealing with, unresolved trauma, and just general assholery Leona was partaking in, he snaps. And he, again, hurts people.

Azul isn't sent to jail, or fined beyond belief, or turned into a disgrace, or anything. He is told, forthright, especially in the manga, that though what he was doing was unequivocally wrong, he still has the work ethic he's built. He sees that, in their own way, Jade and Floyd will be there for him.

Because he's done bad things, and lost himself quite a bit, but he's still young. He can improve, and though he definitely doesn't seem to, a good observer can notice quite a few things. Him being forthright with Riddle in Book Six. Eating treats in the Glorious Masquerade. Book Six especially shows his own weird kindness, I would say, with how he helps save the world—"but only for the stock market", of course. And especially with him and Riddle's interactions.

In our society, so many of the things people grind for, hurt others for, likes, follows, status, wealth—these things can vanish in an instant. If you're even falsely accused of a crime after years of hard work, there is a good chance you won't have a job by the time the issue is resolved. A single scandal or controversy can all but wipe our your follower count. These things, though we can't always see it, just like Azul couldn't, are as fragile as the paper of the golden contracts.

But you still have yourself. Azul still had his work ethic. Those contracts are never coming back. Maybe that's for the better. But even at Rock Bottom, Azul persisted. His life probably seemed like it was over. He overblotted in his own restaurant, he'd lost his own life's work, and people saw him at his most vulnerable.

And for a lot of people, these kinds of things happen, and they, too, must persist. Though I don't want to go into details about it because it's a bit personal, I had a moment like this too. But after a long, long time, and a lot of work, things got better, and I found a new normal.

Do I think that all stories end with relative happiness like Azul's, or even mine did? No. Definitely not. I'm not even trying to say this is about the value of persistence. But Azul's story really does remind me of a lot of people, particularly young men, who get roped into hustle culture. Who do and say shitty things for their own gain.

It's just an interesting thing, honestly. Kinda makes me wanna write a fic where he gets talked down by an activist who tells him his ideals are the product of a toxic capitalistic society that shuns talk of feelings and anybody that isn't seen as productive enough because holy shit he reminds me of at least three people I know and they all need a therapist

[woso-dreamzzz]

Copy

Alessia Russo x Child!Reader

Summary: You want to be like your sister

It was obvious to just about everybody that you were the happy little accident of the family. Your brothers and sister were so much older than you, with jobs of their own while you were just starting school.

No one liked to call you a mistake though it was certainly the word that went through everyone's mind when they saw you and Alessia standing next to each other.

It was the word that everyone in the England team was thinking of the moment Alessia showed up to camp with you by her side. You were settled easily on her hip as you aimlessly sucked your thumb, no matter how many times your sister pulled it from your mouth.

It wasn't exactly the plan that you would come with Lessi to camp but Mummy and Daddy had to go away and Luca and Gio were too busy to look after you so Lessi was the last choice.

Lessi's your absolute favourite. Mummy and Daddy say it's mean to have favourites but you don't really care. Gio and Luca can stick together because they're boys and you'll stay with Lessie because you're girls.

You want to be like Lessi when you're older and you want to do everything she does.

You didn't use to see Lessi a lot when she played for United but she plays for Arsenal now so you see her a bit more regularly. Lessi's your biggest idol and she doesn't smell bad like your brothers do so you like to be with her all the time.

"Alright," She says, smoothing down your hair," Do we want laces or velcro?"

You look at the two shoe options she's showing to you. You look between them, biting at your lip as you swing your feet back and forth.

"What're you wearin'?"

"Well, I've got laces."

"I want laces!"

Lessi laughs. "Of course you do." She slips the shoes onto your feet and double knots your laces because you're still a bit too little to do them by yourself. You're learning though because Lessi can tie her laces by herself so you're going to learn too.

Alessia's big and tall as she leads you by the hand down to the gym. You want to be big and tall like Lessi too someday and you lean easily into her side as you walk.

"Well, looks like the smallest member of the squad has arrived." Ella's the one speaking and you wave at her. Ella's Alessia's adult best friend so you need to be nice to her. You're Lessi's proper best friend though because she tells you that all the time but you still have to be nice to Ella because Lessi will get sad if you don't.

So, you smile and wave at Ella as Lessi sets you up at the machine she's about to use. It looks very big and complicated but Alessia knows what she's doing because she loads some weights onto it and starts pulling on a rope thing to lift it up and down.

You circle the machine suspiciously, looking at all angles as Lessi takes big, deep breaths as she pulls, releases and then pulls again.

You kind of want to try and you reach your hand up to grab onto it too.

Alessia smiles fondly at you but removes your hand. "Sorry, tesoro. You can't help me."

You frown at that. "Why?"

"Because I have to do this by myself."

"Why?"

"So I can get stronger."

"I can get stronger like you too!"

Alessia's still smiling at you. "You're only little, tesoro. Maybe when you're older."

You don't like that answer. If you wait too long then maybe Alessia won't like you anymore. You don't want her to not like you.

Your bottom lip wobbles and she sighs.

"Hey," She says," How about this? I left my bottle over there by Mary. It's pretty heavy and I need a strong girl to go and grab it for me."

You turn to look where she's pointing. It's one of those big bottles that holds a gallon or something and it's sitting on the floor by where Mary's working out.

"I'm a strong girl," You say and Lessi laughs.

"I know you are. Can you go and grab it for me?"

You nod. You make to run off to grab it before you backtrack so you can give Lessi a hug and a kiss.

You weave your way through the gym before scaring the socks off Mary when you suddenly just appear and start dragging Lessi's water bottle away with you.

"Jesus," She says, placing a hand on her chest," You need to stop popping up like that. You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry," You say, straining as you drag the bottle with you.

"Do you need some help?"

"No!" You say quickly, puffing out your chest," I'm a strong girl like Lessi. I can do it myself."

"Alright then," Mary says," Off you go then."

You kind of think this is like what Lessi's doing on the machine. She's pulling on something with weight and now you're pulling on something with weight.

So, technically, you are copying Lessi. You like that. You're too little to use the machine but you're not too little to copy the exercises Lessie does.

She's beaming as you come back, dragging the bottle the whole length of the gym towards her. She rewards you with a kiss on the head and half a chocolate bar.

You get tired pretty quickly when Lessi sends you off to do other things that mimics what she's doing on the machines. You wish you were big enough like Lessi to use them but you think doing these little errands makes up for it.

It gets you very tired though and suddenly you can't copy Lessi anymore. You wish you could but you're very tired out so you just kind of sit down with her as she finally goes through some stretches.

You crawl between her legs and rest you head against her shoulder.

Lessi's hands come up to adjust you so you're settled nicely in her lap as she chatters away to Maya and Ella. She's managed to keep stretching around you and you just let yourself sag against.

"I think someone needs a nap," Maya says pointedly and, even though you're exhausted, you still hear her perfectly.

"No," You grumble to Lessi," No nap."

"I think it would help," Lessi says.

You shake your head. "No. Are you nappin'?"

"No."

"Then I'm not nappin'."

Lessi laughs at that before getting to her feet.

You whine when she pulls away from you, stumbling to crowd into her space again.

"Hey," She says," It's alright. I'm just stretching my legs a little."

"Stretching too," You reply softly even though you're swaying a little bit because you're sleepy.

"Come on." Lessie leans down to pick you up and you go limp in her arms. "How about that nap now?"

You shake your head and take a firm grip of her shirt. "Nap if you nap."

"Well," She says," I guess we can nap together today."

[corviiids]

hello thank you for asking i am very flattered. i would be most honoured to give some advice that i am most certainly unqualified to give!!

ok advice 1: hey why does everyone keep telling me to read and write a lot

i think this is the most commonly given advice. i have always found it true but incomplete, because on the face of it this kind of focuses a little too much on volume. which by itself just isn't going to do that much for you, or it will, but it'll do it very slowly and ineffectively, because the second part of this advice i don't see nearly as much (and the part that makes it work for me) is that after you read or write something you need to do The Why Interrogation. what are you looking for?

when you like something, why do you like it? not just in terms of copying and learning an author's stylistic quirks or techniques, but in a more abstract way:

is it the narrative? that the premise is novel, that the progression of the story is unexpected and thrilling, that the stakes are high?

is it the characters? what is it about them? do they have compelling backgrounds? does the author spend a lot of time in their heads? is the pov internal in a way that lets you experience the story from their shoes? does their biased narration tell you more about them? or is it a detached narration that lets you see the characters in a way they don't see themselves, so the gap is intriguing?

is it the telling? maybe the prose is beautiful - what makes it so? sentence structure? unconventional use of grammar and punctuation? elegant, sophisticated vocabulary? or maybe the dialogue is sharp and human so conversation flows naturally. is the story paced carefully? does the author linger more in certain moments?

the same exercise is useful for what ISN'T working.

if your attention is drifting, what's making it drift?

purple prose? clumsy prose?

does the narration drag?

do the characters feel stagnant, and why?

plot doesn't make any sense?

maybe this sounds obvious, but imo it's a crucial piece of the advice that i just don't see as much because people tend to focus on volume of works consumed/created. the reflection and analysis is what makes that volume useful, otherwise you're just churning through content. the question should always be why, why, why. why did that work, why didn't it work, why did i like this, why does it suck. then proceed to: if i were doing this, how could i make it work?

advice 2: don't forget that all the words you need already exist.

this is more subjective advice. this is something that works for me personally. so ymmv. have you ever tried magnet poetry? you should try magnet poetry.

i always see writing as kind of a puzzle. if i have an idea in my head, the idea exists. the job is actually a translation exercise: how do i express the thing in my head as a thing other people can see? in this way it's like visual art, but it's also not like visual art at all. in visual art you choose where all the lines and colours go, completely freely. any line you draw is a brand new line.

in language, all your parts already exist. all the words already exist. (you can make new ones if you want but that's a whole different thing.) you are plucking symbols out of a collective understanding. it is like lego. all you are doing is selecting the most effective pieces and placing them in order. so for me, i am simply trying to find the 'right' words to fit each context as best as possible. it becomes a game of arrangement, which determines your expression.

then syntax and punctuation become your rhythm, which is how you determine flow. sentence length, word length, whether you omit words or use more, whether you want to be a bit unconventional. character also plays into this - i am not writing an advice 3 because i am getting self conscious but advice 3 would have been consistency of voice.

so i would prioritise vocabulary and timing. what are you trying to say (which words do you pick) and how do you want the reader to experience your words, how do you want the words to feel and sound (how will you pace your sentences)? remembering that all the parts are already there. it is the world's biggest game of magnet poetry.

advice 3 which doesn't exist: keep your voice consistent.

this advice doesn't exist. im not writing this i got embarrassed and stopped at 2. but if i did write this it would say, remember who you are. (remember who is writing your story. are you a character or are you god? remember how much you know. remember which feelings you have access to.)

[twisted-king]

Hello! Since you also write genshin, I've thought about reader or F!S/O being from Teyvat. But that isnt really the main point. How 'bout their F!S/O is from Sumeru and is strictly bestfriends with Cyno and Alhaitham. How would Trey, Azul, Jade, Floyd, and Jamil feel about their F!S/O having boy bestfriends back at her world? Maybe if they're jealous, reader tries to comfort them by saying that Alhaitham is engaged(to Kaveh)XD Lol

You dont have to do this if its to much♡

Oddly specific but I like the cut of your jib!

Also can be read as genter neutral, I don't reall mention gender on this one?

Trey, Azul, Jade, Floyd, and Jamil X F!SO from Teyvat

who is also besties with Cyno and Alhaitham

Trey Clover

Well youre from a whole different world! Magic seems to exist in some capacity at least.

He doesn't know what a Zatyun peach or a Sunsettia is.

But he tries v hard to make you things that remind you of home sometimes!

He actually does a pretty good job at it too!

And thats where the issue arives.

Whenever he asks about your homeland he knows he is going to hear about your best friends

He's trying SO hard to be normal about this

Trey loves you so much but, he gets a little jealous!

You've done so much with these two!!!

"And Cyno's jokes are the absolute WORST! I swear some of the things he says are worse than Ace's!" "Oh that's... nice!"

but they're your best friends! He really shouldn't be jealous.

"I still don't understand why Alhaitham is so jacked, like all he does is read books all day!"

He really shouldn't be jealous

"And I'm kind of glad its never too hot around here! Like I know he works primarily in the desert but like put a shirt on sometimes! You know?"

But damm its hard.

He tries to be subtle (not really)

"So have you ever like... done anything with one of these guys?" "What do you mean?" "Like have you dated one of them..?"

oh.... OH!

You laugh at that, he's embrassed "Oh gosh NEVER! They both have boyfriends anyhow! Alhaitham is engaged!" "Oh."

You nod and give him a little kith

Wow he's relieved!

Azul Ashengrotto

He loves learning about you and your home world! Truly!!!

Azul thinks your mind is briliant, you're so smart and quick on your feet due to years of travel!

With travel comes a lot of experiences

a lot.

without him.

He's playing it cool though! suuuper cool

"Oh I remember Alhaitham would never answer anything that wasnt formatted or completed properly! maybe you could do the same? it would certainly free up some time, no?" "Of course it woudl free up some time, dear... But" "buut?" "Well it wouldn't be fitting of my benevolent nature now would it, my love?"

Azul keeps trying to prove he's a better boyfriend than your old friends

He needs you to know he's the best option for you <3

"And could this 'Cyno' make you a delightful seafood pasta like this?" "No, not really, he was more into rice." "I see..."

Oh hey he made you curry and rice

You know, by the way. He is NOT sneaky

After another bout of showing off, you finally say something.

"They have boyfriends, you know?" "huh?" "Cyno and Alhaitham? they have partners. You don't have to be jealous." "Why would I be jealous, dearest?"

DENIER

Denies his jealous to this day but he gets happier after you reassure him.

Jade Leech

Yeah he's super cool about this!

for the most part...

He's extremely interested in learning about the flora in your world!

and he thinks those vishap creatures you compare him to sound rather interesting.

Jade being rather curious in nature comes in handy! since he doesnt seem to get jealous.

His questions are... odd, though. they kind of make sense?

"Cyno once took out like-- 10 guys in like a MINUTE! it was so cool! "Is he that fast in the depths of the sea?" "No-" "I see..."

Sometimes he's a little less slick though

"OH my gosh Alhaitham is so weird about soup! He hates the stuff because it could get on his books of all things!" "Does he consume beverages as he reads? tea perhaps?" "Yeah, sometimes." *Pleased eel noises*

He's just being careful :)

Jade often prefers to dicuss your best friends while in the kitchen. he likes spending this time with you!

And he has his knives and mushrooms at his disposal.

*chop chop chop* "And so Haitham and I used to skip out on akademiya meetings together-" *chopchopchop-* "But Cyno would ALWAYS 'catch' us just before the meeting would actually ends-" *ChopChopChopChop-* "So then he'd bring us to Kaveh, Alhaitham's fiance to-" "He has a fiance?" "yeah,why?" "no reason." *chop~ chop~ chop~*

He's still keeping the information from his... questioning in mind.

Can't be too careful, after all.

Floyd Leech

He loves his shrimpy's stories!!!

He hates his shrimpy's stories :((

Floyd is reaaal conflicted. He thinks you're so interesting! your world seems like fun!! he wants to go there with you.

But not with those men you keep talking about

"So sometimes there are these HUGE mushrooms that kind of act like a launchpad! they're super springy." "Eh? Jade might like soemthing like that... OOOH! do ya think if I throw someone (Ace) on one of those they'd still bounce?" "Yeah they would! one time while going after a criminal, Cyno had to-" "Eeeeh I'm bored. You coming to my next game?"

Subtlety? not THIS eel

He audibly groans when you bring them up sometimes.

But he still loves hearing you talk! so it really confusing sometimesz

"So genius invocation uses 8 elements, 7 from the nations, one is omni. Usually the cards are based off of vision users like Diluc of mondstadt, Arataki Itto, from Inazuma... OH! there is one of my best friend, Alhaitham, he's dendro and Cyno's is electro, its actually" Oh he's no longer looking at you.

You get an idea... "There is one of Haitham's fiance, Kaveh" "Oh really?"

GOT HIS ASS

You're his girlfriend, you know him best.

He's a little less weird about listening to your stories now, he's way more enaged.

He still tugs you closer to him when you mention other men, but thats kind of normal for him now.

Jamil Viper

A confident king? He's not really jealous. He knows he can be better than them.

Plus they're just friends to you.

But in all honestly he like... doesn't care too much about Teyvat.

You're here now, with him. not them.

Don't get him wrong, Jamil likes hearing about what your world!

There's only oneee little thing he doesnt love hearing.

"Sometimes I miss the food from Teyvat... Cyno always made the best Tahchin." "The best you say?" "Yeah! he shaped it like a pyramid every time he made it!" "Have you ever tried mine?" "You make tahchin!?"

He's smug, you'll love his cooking more than that Cyno's.

He serves you a plate of tahchin, golden brown, perfectly seasoned, barberries topping the rounded rice dish "So, what do you think?" "This is so good! I kind of miss the padisarah petals though.."

The hell is THAT?

"Is it... not up to your expectations, my flower?" "No its delicious! I think I just miss the way my friend would make it.."

He's a little grumpy about it!!

Jamil gets kind of huffy with you next time you're together.

He's not ignoring you but just don't bring up food for a while.

Snake man will just respond with "Why don't you ask Cyno." when it comes to cooking for the next day or two...

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 6

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11 | Ep12)

I meant to post this on January 1st since we didn't get a new episode that day, but then I got distracted making gifsets and writing other meta. Oh, and I was also busy finally watching the show with my mother. Whoops. But my thoughts on episode 6 are finally here! ENJOY <3

Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude guu/mueng with each other unless I point out a significant pronoun switch.

To recap: Style has spent all of last episode coming to terms with the fact that he was falling in love with someone who regularly kills people. By the end of the episode he has come to a conscious decision that he wants to be with Fadel no matter what. Fadel ends up spending the night in Style's bed where they have a significant conversation about trust before they make love. "Making love", because love is finally most definitely involved in the act.

No. 1: Morning Cardio

It's the morning after and probably the very first morning in their relationship that they wake up together. They bicker and Style finally gets his morning cardio in. All is good, all is well, everyone is happy, no one is sad. I desperately try to repress any memories of how this episode ends in order to get through this scene without sobbing. I end up crying anyway as I think about how the first time they hooked up Fadel abandoned Style on the floor of a cold, dark room after punching him in the gut and now Fadel is lying on top of Style, cuddling and kissing him in a warm room filled with the brightest sunshine.

Anyway, so Fadel wakes up Style who really doesn't want to get up yet. Fadel chides Style for not setting an alarm. But Style won't lie there and get scolded again and so he immediately scolds Fadel back: "I told you to hold back and you didn’t listen to me, either." And since everyone loves the language tidbits so much, here is the literal translation of the "I told you to hold back" part:

Last night I told you to stop เมื่อคืนอ่ะ กูบอกให้มึงหยุด [mêuua keun - àh • guu - bòk - hâi mueng - yùt] last night - [particle] • I - tell - for you to - stop

As grumpy as Style is about being woken up and having to get out of bed, there's a lot of amusement in his voice when he says this and his facial expression is also warm as he looks at Fadel. But then he closes his eyes again and immediately goes back to being a little morning grump as he dramatically laments that his body is sore and that he oh so sadly can't go to work. Fadel is now so relaxed around Style that he finally starts cracking jokes and playing along with Style's antics, offering to take Style to the hospital while trying to scoop Style up bridal style (haha. style. 🤭) in order to take him just there. But it's too early in the day for these games and Style really does not wanna leave the bed just yet. And so he impatiently complains about Fadel trying to carry him, and then explains: "I was just being overdramatic." In Thai, the word that was translated as "overdramatic" is สำออย [săm-oi] which my native speaker friend defined as "pretending to be weak about something" and explained that it's a negative word that is mostly used to make sarcastic remarks. That would certainly fit with Style's slight morning grumpiness. I also looked up the word on thai2english which defines the word as following:

[to] look for sympathy (by acting excessively sad or crying)

Style wasn't exactly crying when he complained about his body being sore, but he sure was looking for sympathy. So he clarifies that he was only pretending and that Fadel didn't need to maneuver him out of bed and then goes on to say: "I know you’re like a block of walking ice, but you should learn to read between the lines." In Thai Style uses the word อารมณ์ [ah-rom] here which translates to "mood" or "feeling" or "emotion":

An ice wall like you should learn to read other people's mood/emotions. กำแพงน้ำแข็งแบบมึงอ่ะหัดอ่านอารมณ์คนอื่นบ้าง [gam-paeng náam kăeng - bàep - mueng - àh - hàt - àan - aa-rom - kon èun - bâang] ice wall - like - you - [particle] - practice - read - mood, emotion - others - some

And Style's current mood is "staying in bed" and "wanting to be babied". The message finally reaches Fadel and he pushes Style back onto the pillow. He props himself up above Style and comes back to what Style was saying about his muscles being sore. "They say we should hit it right where it hurts. It’s like exercising. That’s how your body builds stronger muscles." Style responds with a challenge: "Thanks for the trivia, but I don’t see why you’re telling me this." In Thai he actually phrases it like a question:

[...] but what are you telling me this for? แต่บอกกูเพื่ออะไรเนี่ย [dtàe - bòk - guu - pêuua à-rai - nîia] but - tell - I/me - what for, why - [particle]

(Alt. translation: But why are you telling me this?)

I personally prefer it phrased as a question because it makes the challenge a little more direct. With the exception of rhetorical questions, a question encourages a response. With Style phrasing it like a question, Fadel is pretty much obliged to respond because a question is expected to be followed by an answer. And the answer is? "You need to exercise daily."

Fadel leans down and starts pampering Style with kisses. By now Style's morning grumpiness has faded away completely and is replaced by contentment instead as the lyrics "And now I'm yours / All yours, baby / Now I'm yours" play. Now they are officially each other's. They are officially in love.

No. 2: Awkward Encounters

Unexpectedly, Style's dad returns from his fishing trip just in time to catch Fadel leaving the garage. Style walks in on his dad having a very awkward interview with Fadel and comes to Fadel's rescue. By now Style is much more awake and in a considerably brighter mood than he was right after waking up. His dad immediately starts teasing him about Fadel, but Style isn't having it. He shoots his dad down by calling Fadel his "friend" (part of me wonders if he does that because maybe Fadel and Style haven't really discussed how open/official they wanna be with their relationship outside their inner circle of KB/FS and he doesn't just wanna drop the news to his dad without checking in with Fadel first), he lets his dad know he is being embarrassing and then gently sends Fadel away, releasing him from this very uncomfortable situation that he was suddenly trapped in. And I just adore the way Style stares after Fadel, watching him leave without tearing away his gaze:

Even when his dad starts making a teasing sound, Style takes a moment to fully process that his dad is talking to him while he himself is too busy looking at Fadel and having his attention and thoughts fully on his boyfriend. It's only when his dad starts speaking properly that Style finally turns his head towards him. His dad continues to tease him but even with Fadel gone, Style still isn't in the mood for it and quickly changes the topic to his dad's fishing tip. And their ensuing banter is very endearing because you can just clearly tell how important Style's dad is to him and how much they genuinely like each other. And a little detail I also love is how Style's dad wears a vest similar to the one Style wears later in this episode.

(Btw, y'all, Style stares after Fadel for so long that I had to go with using only every 3rd frame to make the gif fit in the 8mb size limit. That's how long Style stares for jgkdkjfdg)

Side quest: To Play or Not to Play

Now, if you read my previous metas and especially my ep3 meta you'll know that I've been arguing for Style not actually being into sleeping around all that much. Now, you could take Style's dad asking Fadel "Are you his one-time thing or are you taking him seriously?" as confirmation that Style is a player after all. However, I still don't think so. First of all, I'm not gonna believe it until Style has said it himself and even more importantly his actions and behavior also convince me otherwise (considering how many lies all the characters in this series constantly tell) and second of all, I'm not sure Style's dad himself actually knows whether his son sleeps around or not. After all, this is the same man who only the other week said "I forgot you like men". And also the way he was so surprised about seeing an unfamiliar face coming out of his house lets me think that Style usually doesn't have any random over-night visitors. Not to mention his dad being surprised about Style's type ("Oh, well, who’d have guessed that’s your type?").

And all that isn't to say Style never has a one-night stand. I'm just saying, I don't think it happens on a regular basis. As I said in my ep3 meta, I think Style makes very deliberate choices of who he sleeps with and that is also confirmed in episode 5 when Style mentions how his dad tried to set him up with some mechanics but Style wanted to be able to choose for himself. If Style does have one-night stands, it seems like he either never brings them home or he simply just doesn't sleep around often enough for his dad to be in any way used to it. Personally, I think it's the latter. I think Style gets picky about who he sleeps with, because to him sex matters (as discussed in my ep4 meta as well).

Oh, and also in Thai the dad uses the expression หลอกฟัน [lòk fan] which is a colloquial phrase which my native speaker friend explained as "to trick someone into sex". And by the way, Style himself uses that exact expression in episode 4 at the Rise Up meeting when he bitches about getting nailed and bailed. And now I'm a bit angry at myself that I felt too awkward to ask about this phrase back when I was writing my ep4 meta, because the "tricking" connotation of this phrase definitely adds some nuance to Style's anger in episode 4. But coming back to episode 6, I think Style's dad isn't necessarily saying this because of his son's potential love life habits and it's more him being a bit of a protective dad who wants to make sure the people his son keeps company with aren't gonna cause heartbreak to his son.

No. 3: Make the Most of It

Style and Kant meet for a drink and Kant gets right to the point: "If they really decided to carry out their operation tomorrow, and got arrested by Captain, what should we do?" Style doesn't like the thought of Fadel (and Bison) being arrested and suggests a solution: "Let's stop them." Kant reminds him that he can't just walk up to Bison and outright tell him to abandon the mission and Style agrees that Kant would not make it out of that situation alive. "Unless you leave him right now", Style says. Or more literally:

Unless you get out of his life from now on. นอกจากมึงจะออกจากชีวิตไบซันตั้งแต่ตอนนี้ [nôk jàak - mueng - já - òhk jàak - chii-wít - Bison - dtâng-dtàe - dton-níi] apart from, except - you - will - depart, leave - life - Bison - since, from - (right) now

It's not like the literal translation is a big difference from the official translation, but I just thought "leave his life" sounds more dramatic and I'm sure some of you will appreciate this little tidbit of info as well.

Style doesn't know if Kant can simply just just get out of Bison's life or not but what Style does know is that he himself certainly can't just drop out of Fadel's life to never see him again: "But as for me, I’m getting kinda attached to Fadel". Or what he actually says:

But to be honest, I've already begun to worry about Fadel. แต่เอาจริงๆ กูเริ่มเป็นห่วงฟาเดลแล้วนะ [dtàe - ao jing jing • guu - rêum - bpen hùuang - Fadel - láew - ná] but - honestly, seriously - I - begin - be worried - Fadel - already - [particle]

Thai doesn't have verb tenses, so I think a possible translation would also be "I'm beginning to worry about Fadel". Personally, I think present perfect tense is more fitting, since last episode Style already told Kant "I’m beginning to worry about him now", which – something I missed it in my ep5 meta in my hurry to finish before episode 6 dropped and have since added to the post – but what Style says in reality in episode 5 is:

I'm worrying about him now. ตอนนี้กูเป็นห่วงฟาเดลแล้วว่ะ [dton-níi - guu - bpen hùuang - Fadel - láew - wâ] now - I - be worried - Fadel - already - [particle]

(Alt. translation: I'm worried about him now.)

In episode 5 Style says nothing about "beginning to" worry, no, in episode 5 he clearly states that he is already worrying about Fadel and so I think it makes sense to interpret his statement in episode 6 as "I've started to worry about Fadel", since it's something that began in the past (episode 5) and is still ongoing as of this point.

Anyway, so Style questions if Kant would be able to get out of Bison's life and lets him know I myself can't get out of Fadel's life now that I've started to worry about him. We immediately see proof of his worry as he practically begs Kant to hurry up with getting the boss behind everything arrested so that this mess can finally come to an end. And once again we see that Style is quite the optimist: "Those two will be free, and we can go on with our lives."

I think it's not just optimism that led Style to say this words, but also bit of wishful thinking and most importantly, a lot of hope. He is well aware that the situation is messy and difficult, but he still hopes, hopes for the best, hopes for a happy ending for them all. There's gotta be a way, right? If Captain Christ only wants their boss, then everything will be fine, right? But Kant reminds him of the bitter reality: "You think Captain would let them walk? They kill people for a living. If they ain’t shot dead on the spot, they’d at least get a life sentence."

I think deep down Style already knew this, but actually hearing it out loud hits different. I think it's only now that it truly sinks in for him that it will likely be the very last time he'll get to spend time with Fadel. Style sinks back into the bench, looking miserable. Kant moves over to Style's bench to comfort him: "We can only make the most of what we have now." For once, Style isn't in the mood to talk. He grabs his drink, clinks cans with Kant, and they both try to wash away their worries with beer. It's not helping. Style stares dejectedly into the air.

No. 4: Please Don't Be Mad

(Side note: in my ep3 meta I couldn't quite tell if Style went to the bar to purposely seek out Fadel or not, and well, I have my answer now hahaha)

Just like Style already mentioned to Kant and to us, him and Fadel are spending their evening at the heavy metal bar. Fadel tells him that this is the first time that he didn't come to the bar alone and Style tells him "Happiness shared is happiness doubled". Style is serious, he really means it. He is here because he wants Fadel to be happy, wants them to be happy together. Fadel makes heart eyes at him. Style gives a little smile back. Fadel gets the tickets. The ticket seller informs them that the band will be playing for the last time. Style looks serious again. The band isn't the only one having a last time. The ticket seller continues: "It’s gonna be a memorable night." Style looks towards the ground. This hits different for him. "You’re right," he finally says, "for me, tonight is certainly going to be a memorable night." And again, his tone is serious. His words hold a certain weight to them, he really means what he says with all his heart. Then he looks at Fadel. Style was speaking to the ticket seller as he was saying this, but really, it's a message to Fadel. I'm going to remember this night, he says, I'm going to remember you. Style may not be able to tell Fadel about how this will potentially be their last night together, but at least he can be honest about his feelings. This night matters to Style, and it matters a lot. The knowledge of this possibly being a goodbye weighs on him and we can tell by the way just how serious Style has been throughout this short sequence. Not the loud, bubbly boy that we've all grown to love. I think Fadel can also tell that something is off about Style, because he raises his eyebrows at him and stares at him quizzically for a moment before he turns to enter the bar. Style follows him.

Once inside, Style is looking rather tense. There is something on his mind that he needs to confess but that he struggle to say. In the end it does burst out of him. "I don’t really like heavy metal," he shouts in the middle of a heavy metal bar. It makes for a funny moment, but Style is clearly distraught. Fadel says he already knew that and Style is relieved that Fadel isn't angry. Now, I've had some thoughts about this.

I'm not sure this confession was really about Style's music preferences at all. It kinda reminds me of how, remember episode 5 of Bad Buddy when Pat "confessed" to Ink, but it wasn't really about his feelings for her at all but rather Ink and that confession served as a stand-in so that he could get the weight off his chest without having to open the real can of worms? Yeah, I think we have something somewhat similar happening here. Now I do very much think Style was absolutely telling the truth when he said he doesn't like heavy metal music. After all, we did see him jamming out to a song that was very much not heavy metal music, so the content of his confession definitely wasn't a lie. But I do think it served as a bit of a stand in for all the things Style CAN'T confess to right now. And there is a lot that Style could and should and probably also kind of wants to be confessing to: the fact that he knows of what Fadel does, the fact that Kant has informed the police of Fadel and Bison's next mission, the fact that said police will be awaiting the brothers there, the fact that this will likely be Style and Fadel's very last night together. Not to mention the fact that Style hit on him for a car before he fell in love for real. But as Kant pointed out earlier that day when they were having a drink together... It's not like they can just walk up to the brothers and just say it. The brothers are killers after all. And in a way, I think Style's confession serves not just as an attempt to be more honest with Fadel but also as a way to assess how Fadel will react if he learns that Style actively lied to him.

Style looks almost a bit too upset and guilty for it to be just about his music preferences after the truth is out of his mouth.

The situation is a bit awkward, because he ends up yelling it loudly in a room full of heavy metal fans, but I don't think he really cares about that more than a whoops in this moment, because what really matters is: "You’re not mad at me, are you?" There is so much urgency to it, his expression kind of pleading:

I'm sorry that I wasn't being honest with you. You're not mad at me, right? You're not mad that I lied to you, right? Please don't be angry with me. Style is so very stressed about this. Fadel's reaction is important.

And Fadel? Is not angry that Style lied. In fact, to Style's surprise, Fadel actually already knew the truth about him (foreshadowing, anyone? 👀). Style is veeery relieved about this:

มึงไม่โกรธอ่ะ กูก็สบายใจแล้ว [mueng - mâi - gròht - àh • guu - gôr - sà-baai jai - láew] you - not - angry - [particle] • I - [sentence link] - happy, pleased - already

In the subtitles Style says "All I want to know is that you’re not mad at me" here. I checked the original line with a native speaker friend who translated it as "You're not mad, then I'm relieved" (and if you put the Thai line into Google Translate it also spits out "If you're not angry, I'll be relieved") which I think matches what Dunk is portraying here through his body and his facial expression a lot better. However, the official English translation summarizes the whole point of the confession very nicely: all Style wants to know is how Fadel will react to the fact that Style actively lied to him and he's desperately hoping that Fadel won't be angry to find out the truth.

And then Fadel isn't angry. And tells him that he wants to see the real Style. Style tilts his head at him, not looking entirely convinced despite the huge relief just now. There is still a lot Style is currently keeping from Fadel, things that are a much bigger deal than his music preferences. Style is still keeping truths from Fadel, still lying to him. And then Fadel drops: "But still, liars should be punished." This has Style genuinely stressed again. There is almost a bit of fear in his voice when he inquires what the punishment will be as he reluctantly lets Fadel drag him away. Style now knows that Fadel won't be angry at him for lying, but there will be consequences (a punishment) (again: will this be foreshadowing? 👀).

No. 5: Fake Fan

Turns out Fadel's punishment isn't all that scary after all, even if Style isn't too hyped about it. Nevertheless, he patiently sits there and lets Fadel paint his face without stopping him. But no matter his patience, Style still can't let Fadel do this without at least a verbal protest. He points out that that Fadel isn't wearing face paint either and is almost kind of offended. YOU aren't wearing any so why are you making ME do it? Style then questions if Fadel even has the skills for what he's doing. Unlike before, Fadel now easily gives up information about himself to Style without hesitation: "I used to wear the same makeup as my favorite band."

A major running theme that we've had going on over several episodes now is how Style keeps trying to get Fadel to loosen up and to have fun. We saw this happening in episode 1 already when Style tried to get Fadel to play along when he made him get the pin off his shirt himself (which actually happened even before Kant made Style hit on Fadel). We saw it in episode 2 when Style pretended they were on a cooking show and provided commentary while Fadel was preparing a customer's food. We saw it in episode 3, when Style follows Fadel to the heavy metal bar for the first time and tried to get Fadel to party and to scream a little. We saw it in episode 5 when Style convinced Fadel to wear the matching couple shirts, pulled him into a dance, and even got him to sing karaoke. And what's more, we've also seen Style trying to get Fadel to socialize. And yeah, of course a lot of what Style was saying and implying about Fadel doing things with Style specifically he said because he was actively hitting on Fadel, but I do think he genuinely meant it when he said things like "But some things are better done together" (episode 2, sports field) or "How’d [having a good time all by yourself] even work? You need someone to 'scream' with" (episode 3, heavy metal bar).

So Style has been trying to coax Fadel out of his shell pretty much since the beginning, has been trying to get him to just enjoy life, has been trying to pull him out of his loneliness. And he's doing it again here: the moment Style learns of Fadel's old hobby, Style immediately suggests Fadel paints his face too. Matching make-up for the two of them. It's something that Fadel clearly enjoys and also they'll do it together. Obviously. Because some things are better done together. And happiness shared is happiness doubled. But Fadel refuses, because he never lets anyone see him with band make-up on.

Edit: There is so much going on here in this scene that I totally forgot to mention a very important language note (and I'm really mad at myself that I didn't catch my mistake before publishing this meta): the word for make-up/putting make -up on is แต่ง [dtàeng] which also means "to marry". So when Style says "Then you should put some makeup on, too" it actually also sounds like he is saying "Will you marry me, then?", which is why Fadel suddenly stops and looks up at him. Make of that double meaning what you will 🤭

After that we get even more running themes: only moments ago Fadel said "I want to see the real you", but this is something that goes vice versa for Style as well. In episode 5 he told Fadel "I promise that no matter who you are, I’ll still like you" and while this was mostly in reference to Fadel's secret hitman identity, this sentiment counts for everything else about Fadel too. And if Fadel enjoys wearing his favorite band's make-up, then Style will also like him for that. Style wants see Fadel's real him and he wants Fadel to be the real him, to live the real him. "How long are you going to live someone else’s life?"

And it's not just that. After episode 5 I was discussing the double date scene with @secriden in our DMs and she talked about how Style was giving Fadel a safe space to participate in all that socializing by being even sillier than Fadel so that Fadel didn't have to be embarrassed about dancing silly dances or wearing silly couple shirts. And I think the very same thing is going on here. Fadel never lets the public see his painted face, whether it's out of fear or embarrassment or something else. And Style offers for them to wear matching make-up. "Try just being someone you want to be," he says, "We’ll do it together." Fadel isn't alone in this, Style is right here, by his side, with him. A safe space. "There’s nothing to be afraid of." Not if Fadel is with Style. Style will support whoever Fadel is underneath his thick, icy walls no matter what. Style is set on it. And tonight, potentially their very last night together, Style will gladly wear make-up for Fadel and Fadel will wear make-up too for his own happiness. They'll do it together and there is nothing to fear when Style is with him. Well? How about it?

Fadel is quiet. He lets Style grab his face and paint on him. Style gives Fadel an encouraging nod, like See? It's not that bad. It's not that scary. I'm right here with you. Be happy. Be you. I love you.

Now, the tear tracks that Style draws on Fadel's face are obviously foreshadowing to how this episode is going to end with Fadel crying because of Style's "betrayal". But honestly, the very first time I watched it? This foreshadowing went right over my head. Admittedly, I was also running on just 3h of sleep that day because I'd been up all night finishing my ep5 meta so I could post it before the new episode dropped and took a 3h nap around noon, so that might have also been a factor in that, but yeah, it totally didn't occur to me that the episode could end in Fadel's real tears (not sure if that made the last scene better or worse tbh). No, the thought that I had instead while watching the episode for the first time was: "Are those the tears that Fadel never got/gets to cry?" And to be honest, I do hope later down the line we'll get a scene where Fadel finally lets it all out, let's out all the pain from all the trauma(s) he's been through while Style is right by his side, supporting him through it, is there for him. Because they'll do this together and Style will always be ready to happily offer and create a safe space for Fadel, just like he did in episode 5 when he was asking Fadel about his parents or when he was trying to get Fadel to let lose and dance a little in the bowling alley or now when he's offering to wear matching make-up with Fadel. And when Fadel cries (and I hope he will cry, and not just from Style's "betrayal"), then Style will offer a safe space for Fadel to cry in, too.

No. 6: (Bitter)Sweet Happiness

Both in make-up, they now proceed to have the time of their lives at the concert, smiling the brightest smiles. They even get to take selfies with the band. Fadel is happy, and so is Style. I think this may actually be the most carefree we've seen Fadel in the entire series so far and it's all thanks to Style.

After the concert they end up standing by a glass window. "Thanks for coming with me," Fadel says and Style looks at him with the warmest, most loving, most adoring expression.

Of course Style accompanied him here. He had promised Fadel in episode 3 already that he would make Fadel 'scream' at some point (that is to have fun, basically) and now they're both here, Fadel is having a good time, and Style is happier and more in love than he could ever have imagined. Fadel continues his little thank you speech: "If it weren’t for you, I’d probably have sat alone over there." Style knows this very well. He saw him sit all by himself last time, refusing to have fun with Style. He saw Fadel stand by himself in the crowd. And even then he was of the opinion that "You’re supposed to have fun with your friends at a place like this". And now Fadel is here. Having fun with him. And there is absolutely no need for Fadel to thank Style, because just getting to see Fadel smile makes Style happy already.

However, as the night is coming to an end the happiness Style has been feeling is overshadowed by the knowledge of what is about to happen next. It's overshadowed by the knowledge that this is almost certainly the last time they'll get to spend time with each other like this. "You wanna come over tonight?" Style asks, "I want to cuddle you to sleep." He doesn't want this night to end. He wants to hold on to Fadel just a little longer, wants to hold him for as long as possible before all of this is over. And best case-scenario, he also manages to stop Fadel from going on the mission like he suggested when he was getting drinks with Kant.

He looks at Fadel with hopeful eyes. But Fadel declines. Style's dad is home and besides, Fadel's got work tomorrow. Work? This has Style listening up. He seizes the opportunity, just like he did back in episode 5 on the floor of the garage. He starts subtly grilling Fadel: "Grocery shopping? I’ll help." Which, by the way, is actually: "The market? I can go with you."

ตลาดหรอ เดี๋ยวกูไปด้วยได้นะ [dtà-làat - rŏr • dĭieow - guu - bpai - dûuay - dâai - ná] market - ? • moment - I - go - too, with - can - [particle]

And that makes me cry a little, because the market one of their spots by now. Like, of course Style would gladly go to the market with Fadel. But Fadel isn't going to the market. He tells Style he's doing something else. But Style already knows exactly what Fadel is doing and where he's going. Once again Style tries to get Fadel to spill the truth: "You’re doing a lot of second jobs, aren’t you? What else do you do besides working as a host? You can tell me. I won’t judge." I promise you I won't judge you for being a hitman. I already know this and I'm cool with it. And if you would just SAY it out loud already then I could tell you not to go through with the mission tomorrow. Then I could keep you by my side just a little longer. Please tell me. Style looks at Fadel with big eyes, full of hope and encouragement.

But Fadel does not say what Style wants him to say. Style is disappointed.

He leans back against the glass wall, upset. In the gif on the right it actually almost looks like he could start crying any moment now:

Fadel is confused, but amused, assuming Style is probably just being his usual overdramatic self. He laughs and asks Style what's wrong. Style side-eyes him, still upset and pouting.

This is potentially the last time they'll be together. Tomorrow Fadel will probably get arrested. Tomorrow Fadel will probably be taken away from him. And he can't even talk about it. Can't even stop him from going.

Fadel continues on:

You act like we're not going to see each other again just because we won't be spending the night together. แค่ไม่ได้นอนด้วยกันเองทำอย่างจะไม่ได้เจอกันอีก [kâe - mâi dâai - nawn - dûuay gan - eng - tam - yàang - jà - mâi dâai - jer gan - ìig] only - not - sleep - together - just - do - like - will - not - meet/see each other - again

Style might not be able to outright tell Fadel that he's acting like that because they actually, for real may very well never see each other again when the night is over, but at least he can try to be as honest about his feelings as possible: "It’s been a good night. I don’t want it to end." I don't want to say goodbye. Fadel tries to console him. "When I’m back, there’ll be more nights like this." Style so badly wants to believe him.

He looks at Fadel with big, hopeful eyes. You promise? Fadel nods. And I think, despite Style knowing that the police will interrupt Fadel's mission and that it won't go smoothly and will likely end in his arrest, I think despite all that deep down Style holds Fadel to that promise. And we can once again see how optimistic and especially how hopeful of a person he is. Now matter how bleak the situation seems right now, Fadel has promised to come back and Fadel has promised that they'll have more nights full of happiness together. And a promise is a promise, right? You can't simply just break it. And so Style hopes for the best. He might not be able to get him to stay but at least Fadel will be back. Because he promised.

They seal that promise with a kiss. And it's interesting, because Style doesn't immediately close his eyes when Fadel goes to kiss him but instead looks at him for a moment longer. And then his eyes keep fluttering open for a moment. It's almost as if he can't tear his eyes away from Fadel, as if he can't help but use every opportunity to look at Fadel, to catch every last glimpse of Fadel while he still has the opportunity to do so. They break apart and Fadel tells Style that he's (also) very happy tonight and Style (re)confirms his own happiness. They lean their foreheads against each other. And again, Style can't really close his eyes and fully sink into the moment the way Fadel can. It's like he tries to close his eyes but they keep fluttering open a second later because he just can't keep his eyes away from Fadel, is compelled to keep looking at him while he still can, while Fadel is still right there with him. And even when they break away from each other and turn to look out of the window towards the stage, it takes Style a couple of seconds to tear his eyes away from Fadel, who is already looking elsewhere:

After they've turned around, their hands find each other. And I think in that moment Style really needs that support through his distress and I think Fadel can feel it, even if he can't figure out what exactly is up with Style and why he is acting the way he's acting.

No. 7: Moving On

Fadel and Bison's mission has passed. Kant's brother nearly got caught in the crossfire. Kant wonders if Bison saved Babe. Kant guesses that Bison saved him. With that he also implies that if Bison was the one saving Babe (since Bison is the one who actually knows and recognizes Kant's brother), the one taking the shot must've been Fadel, implying that Fadel would have injured or killed Babe. But Style, who has been spending a lot of time with Fadel and has slowly been getting to know the real Fadel underneath all those walls, just can't imagine Fadel would shoot a random kid. When he asks Kant "You think Fadel would shoot Babe?" it's definitely in defense of Fadel. And that's interesting, because so far he's always been supportive of his bestie and his investigations. He hasn't always been happy about it, but he still never fought Kant about it. This is the first time we see Style actively go against Kant to stand on Fadel's side instead.

Style continues: "You think he knows you’re a snitch?" I think this is partly still a bit of an attack on Kant in his defense of Fadel in the sense of What, does Fadel to have a reason to kill your brother because you did a shitty job staying undiscovered? and partly a genuine question to find out if Fadel would actually have a motive to shoot Babe on the off chance that he did mean to do that. Not that Style actually believes that, though.

Kant says no and says that his work is over and that he's done being a snitch. This should be good news to Style, but Style doesn't look very comforted. In fact, Style barely acknowledges Kant's words. His mind is somewhere else, is with someone else. "I want to see Fadel." Once again we aren't simply just told through text that Style worries about Fadel but we are also shown. And on top of worrying, Style also misses him.

As so often when Style expresses genuine care and attachment to Fadel, Kant immediately disapproves: "Style! You have to get over it. You can’t ever get together with him. Move on." In Thai, Kant uses the word ตัดใจ [dtàt-jai] when he says "get over it". Thai2english defines this as:

to part with something, to give up something (somewhat unwillingly)

Style is unwilling to give Fadel up. He can't part with Fadel, no matter how much he knows he should if he wants to get out of that mess of a situation. "It’ll become a funny story," Kant says, but Style isn't laughing. He is miserable.

No. 8: Will They or Won't They (Come Back)

Fadel and Bison's mission hasn't gone to plan (neither for them, nor for the police), they've gone completely MIA and our two remaining love struck boys that were left behind now stop by the restaurant in the hopes of meeting them there in person if they're already not picking up their phones. However, Style and Kant find the restaurant abandoned as well. Style looks a little disappointed when he states that the diner is closed, but he's not necessarily all that surprised and he is definitely very concerned. Kant walks away from him to check the inside through the windows just in case and Style follows him. They run into the black cat and end up having a little chat.

And what's interesting about it is that during that little chat Style isn't even all that depressed, despite still not having any clue whatsoever about Fadel's whereabouts. In fact, he actually sounds kind of cheerful when he asks and talks about the cat, unlike in the scene before where he was simply just miserable. Style's tone as well as his expression do both get more serious when he says "I guess [the cat] misses Bison, then. He’s a food source, after all", but no matter how troubled he is about the whole situation, no matter how worried he is about Fadel's well-being and no matter how much he misses him, he won't let himself wallow in misery.

Kant says "Why do I have a feeling that this isn’t over? They can’t run forever, that’s for sure. If they haven’t completed their mission, they will definitely come back" and once again we see Style's optimism and bright outlook on life when he replies "I guess you’re right. Before things went down, you saw how attached they were to us". But similarly to the scene in the beginning when they were having drinks, Kant comes back with some realism: "No matter how much you love someone, you gotta prioritize saving your own butts, right?" Style thinks about it for a moment and raises his eyebrows like Yeah, I guess that's true...

Once again, his expression gets more serious and his smile fades but we know he's not giving up any hope of meeting Fadel again whatsoever, because he'll be back in a week to check on the restaurant again. And let's be real, the series might not have shown this to us but we all know Style went to the diner every single day of that week. Possibly even multiple times a day.

No. 9: Something Special to Eat

A week later and we see Style checking on the restaurant again, this time without Kant. And to his surprise and utter joy, the lights are on! Fadel is back and he looks well! Style stares at him through the window, breathes a small huff of relief, then shakes his head a little like he can't believe his eyes, like he can't believe that what he is seeing is real. As I mentioned before, I'm absolutely convinced Style went to the restaurant every single day for the past week and now it turns out that he was right not to give up, not to lose hope, to stay optimistic like he always is. Style's joy about Fadel's return manifests in his whole entire body as he hops and skips through the restaurant doors.

Once inside, Fadel doesn't seem surprised to see him. He doesn't even say hello, but immediately opens up with the words: "I was thinking of going to your place. But you were more impatient than me, huh?"

Language side note, for all you language nerds out there... In Thai the "you were more impatient" is actually only implied, not explicitly stated:

I haven't gotten round to go see you yet. กูยังไม่ทันไปหามึงเลย [guu - yang - mâi tan - bpai hăa - mueng - loiie] I - yet - not be able to (do sth in/on time) - go visit - you - [particle] You came running to see me. มึงมาหากูซะละ [mueng - maa hăa - guu - sá - lá] you - come visit - I/me - [particle] - [particle]

(For the second sentence I decided to translate it as "you came running" because the particle ซะ [sá] can imply that the action should be done quickly. And Style did come running very quickly the moment Fadel was back.)

And when Style replies "Where have you been?" his words are also a little more dramatic in the original, as is fit for his personality:

Where did you disappear to for so long? มึงหายไปไหนตั้งนานอ่ะ [mueng - hăai bpai - năi - dtâng naan - àh] you - disappear - where - for a long time - [particle]

(It's basically "Where have you been for so long?")

A whole week is a long time to not see your boyfriend, especially when you know something bad has happened and you have no idea if he's alright or not. And so Style rightly complains. Fadel says that his phone broke and that he had to change both his phone and his number. Style throws him an almost disappointed look. He knows that this is a lie (or at least the "my phone broke" part probably is. Fadel might have had to change his number for real when he went into hiding). And more importantly, it only explains why Fadel wasn't replying to his texts. It does not answer Style's question of "where have you been?" and so Style is left none the wiser. Fadel says that he was busy and Style continues to complain: "And you didn’t think to contact me a little? I was worried sick about you, you know?" And we saw that. We got to see how Style was worrying when he was longing to see Fadel after hearing how Babe nearly got injured and we saw it when Style checked the restaurant at the very least two times, once with Kant and once by himself (and let's be real, he definitely went more than twice, we just didn't get to witness it). We see it even now in the way he complains to Fadel about him ignoring Style for a full week. Style thought he was saying goodbye to Fadel at the concert because the police would be ripping Fadel away from him but then that didn't actually happen because Fadel managed to escape and Style spent a full week worrying about him, missing him, longing to see him. And then Fadel is back and he's doing well and he didn't even think to tell Style about it. Style has every right to complain and Fadel should know it, too.

Fadel complains about Style's complaining and then offers to make him food like a peace offering and/or an apology. And fun fact, when he says "Anything you'd like to eat?" in Thai it's:

Anything special you wanna eat? อยากกินอะไรเป็นพิเศษป่ะล่ะ [yàak - gin - àrai - bpen pí-sèt - bpà - lâ] want - eat - anything - that is special - ? - [particle]

I'm telling you, when I heard Fadel say the words "eat" and "special" in the same sentence I immediately expected Style to say "you". I think I even said the word "you" at my screen when I watched the episode for the first time. And then Style DIDN'T. He just... didn't say it. When it was literally right there. I'm truly disappointed in him ngl.

Style does not say "you", instead he sits down and let's Fadel decide on the menu and compliments his cooking. Fadel is immediately sus about the sweet talking and asks: "Did you do something wrong?" Style doesn't know that this is a very pointed question, has absolutely no idea that Fadel is currently suspecting him of snitching to the police. "No," Style replies, but his voice doesn't sound entirely genuine. It's not a full lie but it's also not entirely sincere. Did he do anything wrong? It's hard to say. Technically he isn't the one to tip off the police so technically this isn't something he's done wrong. Style also knows a lot more than he should and that's also not something that he's necessarily doing wrong per se, but it's still something he's keeping from Fadel which could be considered wrong. And one could also say that not explicitly warning Fadel about how the police would be at their mission wasn't right. So technically there is something he did do wrong and that he could be feeling guilty about. No matter whether he really did do something wrong or not, Style chooses to deflect and distract anyway. And he changes the topic to something that really is completely true this time: "I just really missed you." Although, when he says "Is it so weird to get a little affectionate?" it's almost a bit of a challenge. Tell me again how I'm doing something wrong. Style continues: "You know, all this time apart really frustrated me." And there we finally have it. The "I want to eat you" bit.

I think at this point it's pretty obvious that Style is being genuine about his flirting, but I just wanna point out that what I noticed before about how Style acts when he truly wants Fadel continues to hold up: instead of being loud and performative, Style gets quiet, goes almost into a whisper by the end of the sentence. And he also gets handsy with Fadel. He reaches for Fadel's nipple specifically and it works. Fadel is very much distracted. But he stops Style because this is not something Fadel wants to do in the middle of his restaurant in front of a wall of glass windows (probably? Who knows with them 🤷🏼‍♀️). Fadel decides on making spaghetti for Style who approves and fondly smiles at Fadel. They keep holding on to each other's hands for as long as possible as Fadel turns around to walk off and I cry and then I cry some more about the way Style once again can't tear his eyes away from Fadel.

No. 10: Oh, I Wish That You Hadn't Pulled the Trigger

It's later in the evening, Style has presumably finished eating (and maybe Fadel, too?) and now they're both wiping down the restaurant. And once again we see something that I've been talking about for the last few episodes now: Style likes helping. Fadel explicitly tells him that he doesn't have to help and that Fadel will do it himself, so likely Style just grabbed the cloth and started wiping without a second thought while Fadel had his back turned. Because helping people is something that comes to Style naturally. He wants to help. And so he insists on continuing to help with the cleaning and, if it makes Fadel feel better about it, offers Fadel to think of it as payment for the free food.

And I know this meta is actually about Style, but I see Fadel watch Style for a moment after Style said that and I can't help but remember how Style was there in episode 3, helping Fadel out at the restaurant when Bison was nowhere to be found and now Style is here again, helping Fadel out at the restaurant without hesitation and of his own free will and I can't help but think that this is probably one of the things that Fadel has come to love about Style. Style is here and he helps and supports Fadel no questions asked. Which make the news he is about to hear even more painful. And right on cue, Fadel's phone rings.

Fadel steps outside to talk to Bison. In the meantime inside, Style moves on to wipe the next table. He lifts his head just in time to catch Fadel looking at him through the window. Style smiles at him fondly.

Style is so happy that Fadel is back, is so content to be around him. The night of the concert wasn't a goodbye after all. He had bid farewell to Fadel internally already but now he gets to have a new beginning after all. Style is overjoyed.

Then Fadel comes back inside, proceeds to turn on some music and Style is confused as to why he would do that. Fadel asks if he can't get romantic and Style calls him out for scolding him earlier about Style being too sweet and cheesy only to turn around all of a sudden and wanting to be romantic after all. Style has absolutely no idea that Fadel sees him in a completely different light now, but I think he can tell that something is kinda off and that the phone call might have had something to with Fadel's sudden change of mood. So Style asks what Bison said. And Style being Style who cares about his loved ones also wants to know if Bison is with Kant. Fadel confirms. Style comments that Bison probably missed Kant. And right after the sentence is out of his mouth, for just a split second before it cuts back to Fadel we can see a very pleased smile form on Style's face.

Bison wasn't the only one missing someone. Style was too. He was missing Fadel so very much and he was worried sick about him and now Fadel is back, Fadel is standing right in front of him in the flesh and everything is all good in this world. Of course, Style is pleased.

And then Fadel says "I also missed you". Style's eyes widen in surprise, his expression serious now. Ever since they officially started dating Fadel has been saying things like "we're on trial" and "I won't ever trust you 100%" and while he did admit to being very happy earlier in the episode at the concert, I think Style wasn't really expecting Fadel to suddenly be so open about his feelings, almost out of nowhere without any obvious triggers. But then Fadel continues his confession by telling Style that there is no one messing with him when Style isn't there. Ah, there he is, that old nagger that Style has come to love. A compliment that comes in the form of an insult. That's more like him. Style is amused and in a lovingly teasing, but also slightly serious tone asks if he's just an annoyance to Fadel and whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Fadel is quick to assure him that it's a good thing: "Having someone to miss is good. It makes me want to go to the market and go jogging with the hopes of running into you."

Did you notice that I changed something in Fadel's wording just now? Because the official subs wrote "grocery shopping" instead of "the market" and once again I just don't understand the decision to translate it like that because the market is literally one of their spots!! It's not the action of grocery shopping that's important here, it's the place!!! Because Fadel is likely doing some of his grocery shopping at a supermarket too, but it's when he shops at the market place specifically where he has memories with Style!!!

In fact, let me just share Fadel's exact wording of the whole bit:

Having you to miss is a good thing. การมีมึงไว้ให้คิดถึงเนี่ยมันดีนะเว้ย [gaan mii - mueng - wái - hâi - kít-tĕung - nîia - man - dii - na wóiie] having - you - to - miss - [particle] - it - good - [particle] It makes me want to go to the market, มันทำให้กูอยากไปตลาด [man - tam hâi - guu - yàak - bpai - dtà-làat] it - make that - I - want - go - market go jogging in the morning, ไปวิ่งตอนเช้า [bpai - wîng - dton cháao] go - run, jog - in the morning because I'm hoping I'll get to meet you. เพราะหวังว่าจะได้เจอมึง [próh - wăng wâa - jà - dâai - jer - mueng] because - hope that - will - get to - meet - you

And also a little bit earlier when he tells Style "I’ve got no one messing with me when you’re not there":

Without you, there is no one messing up my life. ไม่มีมึงอ่ะ ไม่มีใครมาป่วนชีวิตกู [mâi mii - mueng - àh • mâi mii krai - maa - bpùuan - chii-wít - guu] without - you - [particle] • no one - come - be chaotic - life - I/my

This confession is a parallel to his "I hate that I don't hate you" confession: In episode 4 Fadel said "I don't like you messing up my life" and now in episode 6 he says "Without you, there is no one messing up my life". In episode 4 Fadel said "I don’t like myself when I look for you on the morning jog or at the market" and now in episode 6 Fadel says "It makes me want to go to the market and go jogging in the morning with the hopes of running into you". In episode 4 Fadel said "I don’t like that I miss you." and now in episode 6 he says "I've missed you. Having someone to miss is good."

It's his confession from episode 4 but this time it's romantic and Style even points it out very amusedly, but is also very happy about it: "Are we officially entering romantic territory?" Fadel says that he wants to do what lovers do and Style tells him "I don’t want you to do what you don’t want to do". Or in his exact wording:

I don't want you to do anything that isn't you. กูไม่อยากให้มึงทำอะไรที่ไม่ใช่ตัวเองนะเว้ย [guu - mâi - yâak - hâi - mueng - tam - arai - tîi - mâi châi - dtue eng - ná wóiie] I - not - want - that - you - do - anything - that - not - yourself

Fadel told him at the concert that he wanted to see the real Style, but the same goes the other way around. Style wants Fadel to be the real him, too. And he doesn't want him to do anything that isn't the real him. But Fadel replies:

But I can be like you want me to be. แต่กูสามารถเป็นอย่างที่มึงอยากให้กูเป็นได้ [dtàe - guu - săa-mâat - bpen - yàang - tîi - mueng - yàak - hâi - guu - bpen - dâai] but - I - be able to - be - like - that, which - you - want - for, to - I/me - be - be able to (cont.)

It's a loaded statement. And it has Style confused.

It's the exact opposite of what Style wants. Style wants Fadel to be himself, Style doesn't want him to live a life that Style tells him to live. Style doesn't understand and while there are questions written all over his face, he doesn't ask any of them out loud. He stays quiet and smiles a little in uncertainty (He's currently living through a happy little romantic moment with his boyfriend, right? Right?? That's definitely what's happening here, isn't it???) as he waits for Fadel to continue and to maybe elaborate. Fadel takes a step towards him and says:

I think... I already love you. กูว่า...กูรักมึงแล้วว่ะ [guu - wâa... guu - rák - mueng - láew - wâ] i - think... i - love - you - already - [particle]

(Alt. translations: "I think... I love you" or "I think... I love you now")

Style is delighted to hear these words. Distracted from his bemusement from only seconds ago he smiles a satisfied smile. He's been so open and honest about his own feelings and finally Fadel is opening up too and giving back. Style happily kisses Fadel in response.

He, too, loves Fadel. He loves him and he's missed him and he's been worried sick about him when he didn't hear from him for a full week and didn't know how he was doing and now Fadel is back, Fadel is well, they get to have more nights like the night of the concert together, they get to be together for longer than Style thought they would. Life is great.

After they part, they lean their foreheads against each other. When they did it at the concert, Style's eyes kept flickering to Fadel's face. Here at the diner Style can sink into the moment and into the touch a lot more now that he knows this isn't gonna be the last night he'll be together with Fadel. (I've hit image limit, but here's a parallel gifset.) He does look up at Fadel at one point, almost as if to check if Fadel is still there, that he is real, that this is not a dream. And maybe it's also to check on him, since he's been acting a bit weird since the phone call. But then Style closes his eyes again and sinks into the moment one more time, just like when Fadel leaned into him. The two move into a hug as they sway from side to side. Style can neither see nor feel Fadel's tears dropping onto his back.

Of course I'm gonna have to wait to see what future episodes bring before I can say for sure, but honestly speaking, I do think Style can kind of tell that something is off about Fadel after his phone call with Bison. Style immediately clocks that Fadel is behaving strange the moment Fadel turns on the music, Style calls Fadel out for suddenly being romantic when only shortly before that he was telling Style off for being sweet, he gets confused when Fadel goes "I can be like you want me to be" when that's the exact opposite of what Style has been asking for and there is also something in the way Style really sinks into the forehead touch but then his eyes open and flicker to Fadel as if he's checking on him (almost as if he was also checking that Fadel was still there and hasn't gone away again, as if Style can feel that Fadel is in the process of saying goodbye to him). Fadel is in a weird mood and that mood probably does reach Style. But the thing is, Style is missing a key piece of the puzzle and even if he can tell that something is off, to Style it still looks like a happy picture. To Style it still is a happy picture. And what Style doesn't know, but what we, the viewers, can very much see coming is that this happy illusion will burst soon enough.

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11 | Ep12)

[grasshopperdoingdogpaddle]

Do you have any hcs for good!Chase in that alternate timeline in which Clay becomes the leader? What are his dynamics with other monks because with Omi it's quite obvious (he's basically his dad)

When he was with Master Fung and the group as a whole, Chase was essentially a TA to Master Fung, but that's not what he was usually doing.

Master Monk Chase still sort of did his separate thing and did pilgrimages and solo missions like we see Guan doing, he simply chooses to work with the Xiaolin temple much more closely and base himself there instead of splintering to his own temple. He's still usually not part of the kids' Shen Gong Wu hunts.

Even after Master Fung is gone, Chase stills goes off on his own to do solo missions (like searching for Omi himself when Omi sneaks off back to the temple, something Chase does seem like he really filled the others in on).

So he doesn't really consider himself in charge of supervising them or acting other them-- that was Master Fung before, and now it's Clay. Chase sort of becomes Clay's occasional TA, but they still operate semi-autonomously.

Chase leaves most decisions about the monks to Clay. This new home, the farmland, Master Fung's statue-- those things are all Clay. Chase doesn't feel any need to question or challenge Clay's position, and is certainly not competing with him for it.

Master Fung and the other three monks who aren't Omi facilitate a lot of mutual growth in each other throughout the main series, and they do a lot of the same here. So you can tell Master Fung was still their main teacher.

Master Fung still helps Raimundo learn discipline and duty and to stop hiding behind a class clown status to avoid his fear of applying himself that Raimundo leaned on to avoid failure, and Raimundo still helps Master Fung learn to be more gentle and more empathetic with his lessons and more willing to bend and take their input into consideration and respect his students more. Master Fung still helps teach Kimiko how to calm down and find her center when she wants to and Kimiko helps teach Master Fung how to be emotionally intelligent and emotionally available for a kid who is crying or breaking down and needs a soft hand. Master Fung still helps Clay find a home away from the suffocating environment of the Bailey Family home and in praising Clay for his out-of-the-box thinking, and Clay stills helps Master Fung in being the support and foundation the team needs.

Chase's involvement indirectly smoothed out a lot of the internal affairs with the monks from the series. That, and Hannibal's presence from the start meaning that Wuya was slightly less hard pressed in needing a lackey outside of Jack.

Either way, in some way or another, I don't think Raimundo betrayed the monks in this timeline. Raimundo's conflict with and resentment towards Master Fung still happened, but it was a much smaller hiccup and they resolved it differently, since the permanent cracks in the group's dynamic that Raimundo left from his betrayal don't seem to be present in the alternate timeline.

Kimiko seems pretty friendly towards Chase, since she was the only one who stopped what she was doing to wave and greet him when Chase returned after what must have been a very sudden and unexplained departure. Though Chase's restrained greeting back is definitely something less personal and animated than he had with Omi a few minutes prior.

But Kimiko is also very willing to pass the Lao Mang Lone off to Chase where she vehemently stopped Raimundo from drinking it. So despite being the one of the monks who's probably friendliest with Chase, this also shows still shows that distance that still exists between Chase and the other three.

Outside of Chase's personal attachment to Omi and tendency to personally interfere in directly Omi-related matters, Chase ultimately keeps himself at that distance with the others and asks them to operate their team according to their generation's decisions. He's certainly happy for them when they do, but he also doesn't consider himself a necessary part of it.

Chase also helped iron out a lot of the drama of the leader selection, since that had to happen shortly after they lost Master Fung and the temple.

Namely, I think Chase just went ahead and declared that, although they shouldn't compete or backbite each other since the universe would be making the call in the end, Omi was not in the running-- he was the youngest and was still essentially Chase's protégé. Especially since when the topic of leadership came up, one of he monks probably pointed out Chase's very open favoritism towards Omi and asked if that would tip the scales, and Chase had to clarify that. (Because Omi freezing himself in this time had nothing to do with the leadership selection. Everyone already fully expects Omi to know that Clay is already the leader. Something else motivated Omi there.)

Chase's presence also irons out a lot of the internal conflicts in the team because he was there for Omi, and vice versa.

And Chase and Omi still facilitate mutual growth in each other-- Chase was very jaded after losing Guan and Dashi, and Omi is who helped Chase softened and come back out of his shell after 1500 years of being pretty closed off to the world. Even though Chase never really went full scorched earth the way Guan does in the main timeline, Omi is what anchors him and helps him be who he is today.

And Chase being Omi's favorite person from the start and the person he clings to frees Master Fung and Omi of their uncomfortable one-sided relationship where both Master Fung and Omi wants the other to be something and someone they just can never be and don't really want to be. In Omi's moments of acting out or feeling isolated, he has Chase to cling to. That's why Omi hasn't thrown caution to the wind and jumped into the Yin-Yang world to rescue Master Fung at any cost in this world.