#but i cant like force it to happen
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thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage
you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out
"i'm calling shepherd"
his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books: to go up the chain. that goes against everything we've seen him do. he bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns
he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer. there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends
nothing's happened yet
it doesn't have to go this way
but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy
he doesn't hesitate
it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from
only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat
and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for
"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"
he's learned the price of trust
just like ghost did
but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath
"good advice, It"
#im gonna add these to my notfics on ao3 i think i have a Lot of these floating around#a bit shorter than my other metas but i think its something that gets missed when people talk about alone#soap is a violent man#his career literally trains him to shoot first ask questions later#and yet he still tries his best to avoid blood when faced with betrayal#and you realise it actually does fit him#soap cares about the men he serves with#he wants to save the men at the crash site he checks on a downed soldier he asks about civilians about alejandros family#hes very tuned into the people around him#and he cant turn that off until hes forced to#until graves gives him a reason to hate him#and all of that previous care and consideration goes out the window#‘makes me want to commit a few war crimes of my own’#dont cross soap#you want like what happens if you do#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#meta#phillip graves#graves cod#save post
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i've been thinking about a mgs star wars au so obviously this had to happen
#mgs#ocelhira#revolver ocelot#kazuhira miller#metal gear solid#star wars#id in alt text#smuggler/merc kaz and ex-jedi ocelot....#not that he was ever Really a jedi but whatever. that's not his kyber crystal.#idk what happens when ajedi get pregnant. obv the kid's gonna be force sensitive but what do u do about smth formed from a deep attachment?#i've gotta be honest most of my star wars knowledge is like half the movies andor and listening to amca mostly half asleep#which by the way. if you like star wars you should listen to a more civilized age: a clone wars podcast :)#ignore what i said about being half asleep it's really good i just cant listen to podcasts lying down and yet i continue
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reposting some old doodles i still enjoy a bit
#a doodley#guys im having realizations i dont really know what to do with#ive said this tons before but my main issue with art rn is like#i Know anatomy. and what it's Meant to look like. my issue is straying away from Correct and going with Good like how some of my stuff was#before i really started learning. loose and not restricted#but my obstacle is that nobody draws the way i want to draw. and im bad at coming up with my own stuff...i need to copy and osmose off#someone else. well. it turns out there is someone who draws the way i draw. and its cheye of the past.#dont get me wrong if i look thru the rest of the art in the (year) folder these came from; 80% of it sucks#i wish i cld have what past cheye had but with current cheye tweaks and refinement#but idk how to do that. something weird has happened to my mind i really cant envision and make art the same way anymore#idk how he did it back then....i wish i Knew bc current me cant make anything out of sketching or thumbnails or just going at it#arghhh#i try and force myself to draw stuff like this now (interactions) and it looks. so stiff. and bad proportion wise but idk how to fix it#which isnt to say the proportions (for example) in THESE drawings are perfect but they dont scream Wrong or Bad or Incorrect to me ykwim...#idk! idk what to do with this. ive never known how to go back and study my own stuff
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congrats on being alive bot. you truly were The Character Ever
#inanimate insanity#ii#ii bot#bot ii#clover ii#ii clover#vaguely ii neg but that's just me dunking on the bot plushie its not srs#mephone's dialogue is that one lois video. i was thinking about it because of pb getting out in the saem episode bot ocmes out#i can handle ONE nonbinary character but TWO... where's the cis rep here folks#< JOKE. JOKE. JOKE. JOKE. JOKE. JOKE#unrelated but what the hell happened to paintbrush. i was wathcing the new ii why have they just been softened down into wholesome-#-lightbrush bright lights shipbait slop. that's mean but like what the hell. they were killed and replaced i swear#apple and paintbrush [salute] you will be missed. cause of death ae shipbaiting#ii neg#< eh#it's not that serious but whatever. just in case#it's just too easy to pick on this show. low hanging fruit#cant wait for the new ii where bot learns that fan&test tube are dead and they're just like “HELL YES!!!!!!!!”#< no.. they'll force Le Fantube Family Angst into it somehow#wouldn't be killing bot's characterization because they have Literally None lol#most nothingburger character ever box was a deeper character
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Silver
tags: forced intox, manhandling, "servant" whump but lets be honest he's basically a pet
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Seven could smell the sharp sting of tequilia on Wes’ breath before he even saw the bottle.
“Open up, servant.” Wes smiled and leaned in, forcing the stench further into Seven’s face, making him nearly gag at what he knew was coming. God he could already taste it.
Seven tried to pull away, but a heavy hand found the back of his neck and harshly gripped his hair, holding him fast while the other hand messily shoved the bottle of silver upward and forced it past Seven’s lips.
Seven knew not to struggle. He how to close his nose without plugging it by now. He’d hold his breath. He’d hold his—fuck. It burned in his empty stomach instantly.
Considering all the occasions Wes had forced his servant to drink, Seven should’ve been an expert at this. But experience didn’t mean his nights went without mishap, and just because he knew how to drink it down for a few sips, it didn’t mean Wes would let up this time, forcing him to take gulp after excruciating fiery gulp until his mind was screaming for oxygen and for the poison to stop. Just stop.
He could feel hot tears running down his face. He needed to breathe. It took everything in him to swallow and not fucking wretch as soon as Wes yanked the bottle away. Oxygen hit his lungs and he gasped for breath until he felt lightheaded.
“Can’t waste it all on a fucking servant,” Wes sneered, releasing his fingers from Seven’s hair, roughly tousling it instead. The force of his hand made the room spin and Seven could already feel it hitting him. Burning away deep his stomach and making his face feel hot and tingly.
Wes turned away and Seven instantly grasped the wall, taking a few agonizing deep breaths, just trying so hard not to throw up.
He’d done that before. On a night much like this one, and Wes had made him clean it all up while still nearly blacked out, promising that the next time, he’d clean it with his tongue.
So Seven braced himself against the wall and tried to focus on his breath. He inhaled. God fuck. He exhaled. Fuck. He was going to gag.
Water.
He needed water.
This was going to be a long night.
.
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#imm working on a part twooo#I just love Seven getting harassed in a party setting#lucky for me Wes has a lot of those#seven oc#wes oc#seven series#forced intox#forced intoxication#servant whumpee#forced to drink#idk what else to tag thats all that happens#servant whump#does this even count if I never show him actually cleaning anything#make that boy clean something dammit!!#me to myself like#bitch do ur laundry#but why cant I have a pretty servant boy to do it for meeeee#but like#pls send seven torture ideas to the ask box pls and thank you#uwuwuuwwuuw >.<#whump drabble#whump writing#akia.txt#not gonna taglist this one cuz its so short its like
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i posted abt this on my tiktok story but i need to rant more so im putting it here 😭😭 the way a lot of mikosai shippers (on tiktok, pinterest, reddit, etc) are is such a big reminder to me of why i hate the strictly romantic soulmates trope with every fiber of my being 😭😭😭 people who interpret soulmates as "that means theyre canonically together" regardless of how the characters actually feel about each other and if they ACTUALLY get together is so fucking gross to me oh my god its so fucking gross i hate forced romance so bad 😭😭 someone cant just say "hey, we're soulmates so you HAVE to date me and its literally weird and impossible for you to like anyone else because i said so!!" and also aiura WOULDNT do that anyway ???? HELLOOO???
you have no idea how many people ive seen call all saiki ships with anyone other than aiura "problematic ships" just because "theyre soulmates"
#SOULMATES DOES NOT MAKE A COUPLE CANON <333#'she SAID theyre soulmates so that means hes HERS now and its gross for u to think he liked anyone else'#hey thats actually... really bad!! hey she actually cant and wouldnt force him to date her!!! hey what the fuck!!!#not a mikosai hate post#only weird forced romance likers hate post <3#if someone doesnt like someone then they dont like them... them being soulmates doesnt change that...#thats actually just not how it works and the idea that that WOULD be how it works is gross#and a lot of the fics ive read of them end up with aiura being all 'ha i told you so! i knew id break u eventually!'#'i knew id get to u if i just kept calling u my boyfriend without permission and saying we're soulmates!'#which like not only would she not do that... its also just really gross#like u really thought 'he doesnt like her so she wears him down and doesnt leave him alone until he relents' and like... u went with that?#oh...#weird...#idk maybe im crazy and also im having a hard time phrasing any of this#but it just brings up so many consent issues and it makes me really uncomfortable#like according to THOSE shippers it wouldnt be by his own will or feelings if he eventually fell in love with her#it would just be because the universe said so and he never had any choice#mikosai is so cute when u think of it in like the totally opposite way#in MY opinion i love mikosai AFTER aiura accepts that soulmates doesnt mean he HAS to date her#that HAS to happen before they date and THEN theyre really cute#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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That one time the wholeass sun came careening down
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic forces#sth#sonic#sorry guys sonic finally consumed me it finally happened and now i cant turn the switch off#and me having such an excellent history in picking the best stuff to start with the first sonic game i ever played was sonic forces and boy#howdy was that a choice i sure did make#im too impatient when painting to remember but i just briefly remmeber the fuckin sun showing up about to obliterate the world so i took th#visual and ran#honestly this was so fun i plan on doing more that like actually has characters in it im still studying style guides atm#fun fact i blasted Ceaser by the Oh Hello's while painting this#anyways have a nice day and im sorry for the person im abt to become bc this is my personality for as long as monkie kid is still in limbo
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ughghg hi i hate to be serious or be such a downer but i really need to put this out there because some people are getting too comfortable.
but then again it's partially my fault because i let it happen --
this is more pointed towards strangers, so if you know we're friends/mutuals you're cool 🫶
anyways just want to point out that if we're not close especially, it doesn't give you an excuse to treat me like i'll be fine with everything that you'll say.
i can handle jokes, i love joking unseriously with anyone, and i just love talking with people in general and usually the interactions aren't that deep.
but there's a line between genuine playfulness and thinly-veiled insults/mockery. saying "sorry" or anything like "/j" doesnt change that.
and yeah i'm aware this is especially hard to discern because people's actual tone over the internet can be perceived differently. and sometimes people aren't aware that they're being rude. so that's why i usually give people another chance.
it's just to the point that when it happens over and over again where it stops being coincidental. plus i usually just try to trust my gut whenever i feel uncomfortable with people from the get-go.
idk what else to say but please remember i'm also just another person. and that applies to everyone else here. you're free to say whatever you want but that doesn't mean you're free from any pushback.
#[—✦ rambling#anyways sorry for this rant omg 🧍#i've been debating on whether or not i wanted to post this#but idk it feels important to put out there#also also idk if this would even do anything bc people will just say whatever they want anyway#and i cant really avoid that 😭#im also afraid if i worded things wrong but LMAo i'll deal with the consequences later too if so#again if you're worried that it's about you IT'S NOT- this has been going on for a while#and i've already blocked the offending parties so if you're seeing this post you're good!! 👍#+ if i consider you a friend and if anything happens i'll bring it up with you instead anyway 😭#and if you've recently sent me anything i'll get to yall like i normally would later after i destress gjsdlkfsd#some people are just really ;;; persistent on forcing you to be friends with them instead of it being natural#sometimes i just click with people immediately and sometimes it takes time but that doesnt mean i dont value one over the other more#agh i really hope i dont have to post anything like this again#i really want this blog to be a safe space#but this is more for my personal comfort as well 😭<3
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killer eating food in front of horror as a way to taunt him. duuuude do you see this delectable parfait he has in his hands right now. he just put a spoonful in his mouth. horror is scratching at his own arms right now (trying not to jump this bitchass). killer can't even taste it LMAOOO another bite ‼️ imagine not being able to eat food 🤣🤣🤣 killer can't even taste it and enjoy the food but horror can't even EAT food
then horror grabs the parfait glass out of his hands and oh killer you should probably teleport away before horror does to you what undyne did to his eye
#this SOUNDS mean but this is actually just their daily behavior. average horrorkiller interaction#the nice version of this is that killer eats the foods in place of horror#horror cant eat anymore but at least he gets to see someone else he doesnt mind eat. which is ok for now#however that's only a pipe dream for now we get horrorkiller mauling at eachother like rabid animals#something i like about horrorkiller is that they are NOT evenly matched at all#in kist i feel like dust could win if he gives like 400% but with horrorkiller????#NO DAMN WAY‼️💀 horror gives 400% and then killer just knocks him over again like a badly balanced figure#horror's strong but hes not strong enough to do anything to killer that he wont allow#which is just so funny. horror could have his original eye back and be at full power and killer just pins him down again#also people think that horror would hate killer for what he did in smthnew but it lowkey could be equal#like horror's rambling to killer about all the bullshit that happened in horrortale with queen undick and alphys the betrayer bitch#and then he gets to the part where he tricked snowdin into eating humans#and OBVIOUSLY horror's lying and trying to make himself seem innocent but killer's smarter than that#and after all that horror's just given this quick and barely discernable glance of contempt from killer#like MAN killing everyone is one thing but forcing them to eat humans?? that shit was so bad it made killer FEEL in stage 2 💀#it stings. horror doesnt wanna admit it (because WHY WOULD HE CARE ABOUT KILLERS OPINION!!!) but he's lowkey piiiiissed#its a mood swing but not one of those agressive loud violent ones. nah. horror ghosts killer#not that killer tries to get him to talk to him. he doesnt care enough. plus hes an eeeensy bit mad at horror too for what he did#i WOULD say horror gets over it but from what horrortale's shown he can hold 7 year long grudges. so erm#and thats why horrorkiller woukd never happen everyone! alright thanks for watching that's a wrap#you will never catch me talking about horrorkiller in a romantic way horror is an ARO man!!! he doesnt feel romantic attraction dare i say#and he'd rather die than be attracted to killer in any way anyways. and killer's just there. unlabelled uncaring unknowing king#killer doesn't have a stable sense of identity that just makes it even easier to slap a big ol HE DOES NOT CARE on his forehead#tricule rant#killer sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#horrorkiller
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Have you been assesed for adhd?
nope, though im pretty sure i got it ... or its something similar bc although also not officially diagnosed there is no way im not autistic OTL
the only things i have been .. 'diagnosed' with is anxiety and chronic depression, though both of which by a therapist that got arrested for fraud and harassment (hahaha .. ._.) and im not sure how much weight that can hold both bc of .. THAT and bc i honestly have no idea how much a therapist can do (its been many years since then too) and the only meds he ever offered me where like .. drugs ('herbs')
i have been thinking of asking our family doctor about it but im rather afraid of whatever process i gotta go through to get anything that might help since im sure its also not JUST adhd that causing all this (and ... im afraid it could impact how i am treated ... like if they know im autistic are they not gonna take me seriously anymore or stop me from making choices about myself.. welp theres the anxiety ndfjkgndfknvgfdk)
(and a new therapist is pretty impossible bc theres a really big problem of not enough therapists around ESPECIALLY where i live ... also fear bc of the previous one .. haha ._, )
#ganondoodles answers#ganondoodles talks#personal#i am german so whatever process it is in america is not gonna be how it is here#.....also doesnt help that i nearly got put in a ... mental health .. facility (idk what its called in english) when i was younger#and uuh .. barely managed to make them not do it#one of the scariest moments in my life#mom made the plan with my oldest sister in secret and drove me off to the doctor .. idk if they told me just before and forced me to go#or literally on the parking lot of the doctor .. i think it was the latter#being out on a parking lot and being talked down to by my sister (who never tried to talk to me about anything mental health wise btw)#AND by the doctor .. i had to convince him to not do it .. literally so scary#-and mom about putting me in some facillity .. cant even describe it .. to me it was pure horror#im sure those facilities arent that bad or soemthing but i felt like they where trying to kick me out and into a prison#i do NOT do well anywhere that isnt home#AND doing the thing i haven been trying to make it clear makes everything a thousand times worse-#-talking about it behind my back and then just doing things without me gettign any say in it and then given no choice#its literally the worst thing you can do!!!!#sorry TMI perhaps but!!! many things have happened!! bad!!
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i truly have no tolerance for this fandom shittin on random fans personal trans headcanons. someone saw themselves and their experience in this character, isnt that beautiful? why dont you mind your business and focus on your own fan stuff? wouldnt that make you happier? someones headcanon doesnt negate yours. what the fuck is wrong with yall. its playing make believe x2. its just a headcanon. real life trans folks are in active danger right now and some of yall are wasting all your energy abusing others over which pronoun set figments of someone elses imagination 'should' be using
#our t#this is *any* trans hc it doesnt matter the flavour of the trans headcanon. i dont have time for that shit i have real problems#if i see one more fight over jegbert or dave on this site i s2g#if june happens on screen like if we SEE june happen on screen then that will be canon. even for a single panel she will be canon#but genderbend aus have existed since the dawn of fuckin time and an au isnt gonna suddenly blast june's canon transness outta existence#like what are yall TALKING about.#and im saying 'if' w/ a heavy fuckin sigh bc while the hsbc team has stated that they have plans no one knows#when or where or how thats gonna happen. i want it to happen & i have my own hopes for how it will but we'll just have to see#but this aint abt rep yall just want justification to punch e/o in the face & call it 'fighting against ur intercommunity oppressors'#or whatever cause none of yall are brave enough to get organized#and actually try to make changes in ur communities.....headcanons will never be actual representation#as for dave. yall know that transmascs and cis boys also struggle with masculinity right? esp hegemonic pressures and ideals?#thats kinda what LE is about? thats why so many trans guys see themselves in the striders. thats why i think theyre supposed to be cis#but thats ALSO why so many transfemme folks see themselves in dave. and that should be rlly beautiful!!! we're not so different!!!#its almost like that power structure harms everyone in different ways bc of how we treat e/o inside of the structure!!!!!#i cant TELL you how many of my cis guy friends have cptsd from just not being allowed to express sadness or joy in an acceptable way#and davepeta being nonbinary only adds to this!!! davepetas existence in contrast to dave DIRECTLY MIRRORS roxy in meat/candy#but yall are never gonna be fuckin ready for that so what the fuck ever i guess#i just feel constantly forced outside of this fandom or scorned as a Bad Tranny bc im very literally in the middle of this shit#and i dont believe one style of presentation is inherently better or morally righteous than the other. like what are yall expecting#are yall expecting to be let into tranny heaven bc u wear a skirt and say 'haha yeah all instances of mascness is grossss' be for real#just rlly highlights the fact that no one in this fandom wants to care abt intersex trans ppl or hear them talk or try to#contribute to gender analysis. its not girlboss enough i guess. sorry for not drinking the radfem rhetoric thats embedded itself#into this site i suppose. hope the fandom gets better but idk i dont think thats gonna happen anytime soon#stop treating femininity as smth inherently Morally Good its all 'divine feminine moon phase' bullshit slightly repackaged#to include transfemme folks. which none of yall should want. its a direct pushback to actual feminism but ok all mascs evil bc LE i guess#im not missing the fact that this fandom cracks down hard on queer mascness & tries to 1:1 equate that hegemonic cismasculinity either#yall aint slick at all. sorry im just. fucking tired. feeling like i dont exist & my words dont matter
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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old drawings i found and enjoyed while looking for something else
#a doodley#i dont know what happened. some of these are from so little ago and i cant do em anymore#i used to take full color full body couple comms now i cant even draw oc self ship interactions anymore.#granted the comms werent that good either but ykwim i cant even do it for leisure anymore#and its also so weird when i look at my old stuff that i always have like. non linear improvement. it rises and falls all the time#thats not good! why cant i Keep what i learn! and why does Learning make my art worse when im trying to make it better....#its crazy seeing how well i could draw faces (sometimes) before i started studying faces. now they rarely look as good.#alas. once again i feel im the result of a non artist forcing their way to it ykwim#an equivalent of a land mammal trying to live underwater
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someone with a cold being at work all day and their symptoms have been simply a stuffy nose and an annoying amount of sneezing - so they think it's not too bad, until they get home and it feels like they've been hit by a freight train full of fever, headache, and fatigue all in one go
#i just love when. all someone's “hidden” symptoms come crashing down on them as soon as they take a moment's break#even better if it happens in the middle of the work day#so then theyre forced to take the rest of the day off cause they cant possibly carry on like this#rahhhh anyway#k talks snz#snz#snzblr#snz kink#snzario#snz blog#sneeze kink
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Every day is so emotionally draining I don't know where to turn to. I'm gonna keep drawing. And. What I'll see it'll be, I don't have the strength to reach out to look for even more awful topics after Everything that is happening with the world, online and my own life. Believe the victims. That's all I'll say
#its something new every day. always something bad.#like genuinely ive been struggling and while I'd love to. do. more. i cant even force myself to think about things too much because I'll#break down and my mental helth is already fucked up. sorry? idk what to say just. I'll be here i guess. but im taking steps back from the#tragedies and awful actions happening#i wanna chill im here to chill#idk#take care everyone dont push yourselves<3#rare rambling
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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