#but i cant keep my eyes open
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I would like to think that I'm a pretty decent role model, aside from the fact that when I am clearly overworked I choose to ignore that fact and continue at the exact same workload, then wonder why I keep nearly shutting down after a few hours of effort.
Don't do that, dear ones. That's bad and not smart. It's going to be an interesting time after my surgery when I literally can't do 90% of my obligations for like two months or else my guts might fall out.
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its day 50!!! pretty :)
#71#dallon weekes#im out of coherent things to say#goodnight everyone#not permanently im just going to bed#also expect a new layout. in 10 hours. i cant keep my eyes open rn#idkhow#2022
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Wrench looking at Literally Anything and Anyone: (Rage. Disgust. Trying to kill with his gaze alone.)
Wrench looking at Numbers:
(Well listen. Ok. This is Wrench we're talking about so still some rage and still some killing-gaze but. Softer....Soft....Reserved only for This One Guy. I know it's subtle, he's Mr Wrench. But look, see hims face.)
#jay talkin#fargo#wrenchers#see hims face SEE HIMS FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i got the ability to access high enough quality of my shows to screenshot so i hope we r all ready for what that means#yall yr gonna see my BOYS from my TEEVEE#n e way can i talk abt russell's performance as wrench for a bit. well im going to and you cant stop me#there is so much he does with the subtleties of expression as wrench that truly is one of my favourite pieces of television acting#i already knew he was incredibly good at conveying something as simple as the light behind his eyes changing from his role in TWBB but like#we get so much more time w wrench and hes got a lot going on under that carefully constructed persona#that i feel like his ability as an actor shines soooooooo well#hes playing a man who is making a concentrated effort to be very reserved w his expressions imo. yet you see SO much emotion#hidden in slight changes in his eyes and the smallest movement in his face. he has absolute control and awareness of such minute details#its really astounding!!!!! i cant think of many actors who have that level of skill in the face!!#there are scenes where russells face does not perceptably move and YET his entire expression changes somehow#like he can change the light in his fucking eyes he can just EXUDE a feeling so strong it can hit u like a truck#which ofc makes any more outward shows of emotion from wrench even more palpable#and part of that performance being so good is you CAN see him change his expression towards numbers vs everything else!#whatever connection these two have be it purely coworkers or romantic or what it is SOLD in wrench's subtle expressions#(and for the record im team 'married couple' bc it was innnnn the damn script. but however anyone interprets is cool no worries ok)#i couldve pulled even more examples if id gone thru more scenes but i just had this one open at the time so. <3#koff koff hack hack who said all that. mustve been a ghost. can u tell i rlly like this guys acting. i mean what. who keeps saying things
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Omg I just remembered eighth grade english class bro the MAZE RUNNER WAS SO BADD 😭😭😭😭
(This a redraw , original drawing was from eigth grade LMFAO)
#the maze runner characters were all girls to me idc….#i loved minho bro omg#u cant hate minho#the maze runner sucked so bad but I loved it like I loved shitting on it and minho i loved minho bro#maze runner#the maze runner#minho#thomas#newt#cassketti art#we all had that one piece of media that was so bad that it made our young selves like media literate and like actually critically think#maze runner was my first media that I hated so much I started to understand how to analyze writing#like I knew the basics of writing before but like maze runner opened my eyes fr#im sorry maze runner fans 😭😭😭#dont listen to him thomas ur rocking that choppy microbangs look keep doing u (lies)#ur barbers probably already dead anyways OO implied spoilers sorry
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anyone elses parents convinced they can control their tics? Like no mom yelling and taking my things will NOT make me stop vocal stimming and blinking rapidly
#sometimes it deels like i csnt breathe if i dont#and like my dsd keeps yelling at me to keep my eyes open for atleast 15 seconds#like i CANT#It feels like their tonna fall out if i dont#“just focus” stfu 🙏#shitpost
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tummy hurts terribly, craving sugary snacks, feeling gross, feeling fatigued, bleeding heavily .
in need of cuddles but im alone- what a terrible world.
#sorry im dramatic on my period#cramps are terrible and i cant keep my eyes open#time to nap again ig ???
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Coughing up something like a blob fish as if i have a fucked up strain of hanahaki disease and i just sigh and pull up said tag because i love a good sickfic
#ohhh nooo chat om tipsyyy#no i just cant keep my fuckkgin eyes open#and i keep thinking abt the butcher im duong
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Sometimes I Have About A Thimbleful Of Lucidity Before I Fall Asleep And I Try To Give It Away And The Thimble Demands Gallons More Of Mh Attention But I Can’t Thpr Anymore But I Love So Much
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here is my catalogue for fanexpo this year 🙇
#fanexpo canada#fanexpo toronto#fanexpo 2024#what else is it called idk. i cant keep my eyes open#conventions#prints
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google search results for kitties cuddling
#a doodley#i can barely keep my eyes open im crawling to bed#cow al comes home to them like dis is what i was getting at earlier#also what is the explanation for when you start devolving in drawing something you have not once stopped drawing...#bc ive been drawing both smunker and talon's middle parts (in their hair) year round and suddenly it keeps looking weird and off#or feeling wrong and i cant do it...whats the deaaal....idgi...#also he's not biting smunker his fangs are just Out
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2024 is probably not my best year now that i think about it
#i mean - let's go over the good ones. i have my own laptop now - i'm doing okay in uni. and I haven't gotten any bad issues with irl stuff#in terms of living i'm doing okay and im pretty content#but emotionally and mentally ? horrendous. I don't think i'm really actually doing okay mentally#im struggling to find myself to be the same person i was awhile back. it just doesn't fit like a puzzle anymore even if it's supposed to fit#whats genuinely saving me from feeling miserable is my current interest which is why i'm really so quick to get excited or happy w it#it's so hard to look at past interests now and not think about the “bad” highlight - even if the good highlights are bigger than the bad#i feel like i'm keeping a facade when i'm talking to people. i feel like im being fake when im talking to people. i just cant find myself to#feel like myself when talking to others. that's why i havent been so active talking unless its close people#i'm scared of not being able to “keep up” with them. feel boring with them. not feeling like “the jil” they know#i'm tired. and upset. maybe i am bothered after all#being told that i sounded so fake when i talked really opened my eyes. maybe i am fake because i'm tired. but i wouldn't know#Losing a friend really does something to you huh.
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hiii good morning
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god made me a tired guy because... because .. b..... snoorkkmimimimjmi... snoorrree mmjmimimim
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thinking abt how the original QPB trio wouldve been just 3 mentally unwell adults w lifetimes of trauma and KdjfksjdKFJJS...
#no wonder they were beefing /j#they need yeseo... AHAH#idk like#i still dont know ga-in's full deal but from what ive seen...#def parental (and workplace) abuse going on...#cedric... self explanatory#and jesse like... being an illegitimate child ooh and his stepfather dedicating every min to trying to ruin his life umm#yeah...#not that i dont think yeseos also had a perfect life... im keeping my eyes open at the bits of foreshadowing for him i wanna know his deal#cant stop thinking abt how he almost never mentions his parents? whats up w that#twsb#twsb spoilers#(just for the ga-in bit)m#i wanna know more abt jesse tho...#sigh will never stop losing my mind that cedric went from beefing w jesse as a love rival#to falling in love with him (but its actually a diff guy. our yeseo...🤧#im crazy for this but cant stop thinking abt QPB cedjess.....#esp since apparently they couldve gotten along if it werent for the circumstances... ough#idc abt romantic cedchris at all tho like thank u for resetting the timeline <3#i wanna know what... that last moment was like...#when jesse sacrificed himself to save cedric....#jesse telling him to be happy with christelle/take care of her...#what was cedric's reaction... what was the look on both of their faces in that moment...#ghhHHH i would want to see og cedjesschris but not as a love triangle w chris at the center like it was before...#i'd just wanna see platonic shenanigans#but the og novel wasnt like that... 😔#actually it makes me wild considering that the original QPB trio didnt have/use powers#like thats wild to me. they were so different.....#the genre switch was so good for them <3#went from shoujo to shounen /j
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could a hayfever girl ever truly love a tree nymph girl? the answer is yes thanks to nondrowsy allegra.
#i love having a normal brain. im so snotty i can barely breathe i cant keep my eyes open and the only constructive thought ive got is#oh god. i could never date zhaan farscape.
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I do appreciate when well meaning people say the whimsy is still in me but i really cant help but feel that not a single activity brings me joy anymore. Its a bit of a chicken and the egg situation where i cant tell if im more prone to hopelessness about the world because i dont have things i like doing so the negatives are just easier to spot, or i cant enjoy stuff anymore because im too disappointed by life to find anything worth doing. But then how do i even fix it, cuz it just seems like theyre feeding into each other and there isnt really an escape
#my dad asked earlier what ive been reading lately and i just short.circuited. um. yknow... books... silence. okay#i cant string 3 thoughts that make sense together or go an hour without wanting to kms and youre asking about such things#i tried to read for fun i just found it pointless and exhausting with no actual enjoyment attached at any point#keeping my eyes open is a chore trying to process things is giving me a worse headache#what to do what to do when youre watching literally all your skills regress this year worse than ever and with no actual stop in sight#like. how much worse will this get#if i go to another therapist that says life is a jungle and i have to be the strongest bc survival of the fittest rahhh ill actually#ah character limit. thank you#well you know
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