#but i cant keep my eyes open
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I would like to think that I'm a pretty decent role model, aside from the fact that when I am clearly overworked I choose to ignore that fact and continue at the exact same workload, then wonder why I keep nearly shutting down after a few hours of effort.
Don't do that, dear ones. That's bad and not smart. It's going to be an interesting time after my surgery when I literally can't do 90% of my obligations for like two months or else my guts might fall out.
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happy halloween! here is my carrie costume :) the fake blood irritated my eye :/ but i think these still came out nice <3
#im being for fucking real idk if any of these photos look decent I cant keep my eyes open#carrie 1976#my face#halloween#blood#photography#robotpussy does halloween
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sneak peek before I pass out in my bed gn everynyan
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Spent five hours writing ONE scene for a fic idea (I didnt lock in). It's 1 AM right now but I think what makes it all worth it is the fact my sister read it and told me it was *gasp* "immsersive."
My favourite thing about reading is the fact that when something is incredibly well written I get so immersed I literally feel like I am IN there and when I stop reading I go "wtf, what happened to the castle I was seeing." Yes... the escapsim of reading is my fav thing, no one is surprised.
And no I'm not tooting my own horn and saying that one scene I wrote was a masterpiece but the fact that my sister read it and said that when she read it, she could see the entire thing unfold in front of her eyes and found herself being intruiged is the biggest compliment to me. Bc its makes me pointing at myself and think "wow I am doing the same thing these other cool writers I like are doing."
And yeah maybe if I do somewhat finish and polish it I'll post it on ao3 but my sister already said told me it was immersive so whats the point, who even cares anymore
#and my sister is an avid reader too so like yeah#Im kinda the best tbh#<-- joke#lol shes probs biased ao Im gonna ask my friends to beta read once I write some more#but still!!! so nice!!#i have done influence#writing#im SOOO aware im being dramatic rn bc like if u read it its so silly its not even an emotional scene#or some philosophical high end vocab thing#the fact that the silly thing made someone feel something is cool. even if that someone is my little sister#cant keep my eyes open even as ai type this ough#clumxy rants#fan fic writing
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its day 50!!! pretty :)
#71#dallon weekes#im out of coherent things to say#goodnight everyone#not permanently im just going to bed#also expect a new layout. in 10 hours. i cant keep my eyes open rn#idkhow#2022
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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Omg I just remembered eighth grade english class bro the MAZE RUNNER WAS SO BADD 😭😭😭😭
(This a redraw , original drawing was from eigth grade LMFAO)
#the maze runner characters were all girls to me idc….#i loved minho bro omg#u cant hate minho#the maze runner sucked so bad but I loved it like I loved shitting on it and minho i loved minho bro#maze runner#the maze runner#minho#thomas#newt#cassketti art#we all had that one piece of media that was so bad that it made our young selves like media literate and like actually critically think#maze runner was my first media that I hated so much I started to understand how to analyze writing#like I knew the basics of writing before but like maze runner opened my eyes fr#im sorry maze runner fans 😭😭😭#dont listen to him thomas ur rocking that choppy microbangs look keep doing u (lies)#ur barbers probably already dead anyways OO implied spoilers sorry
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days where i have nothing to do: ohhhh im so sleepy im so so tired no one is more eepy than me
nights where i have to wake up at a set time: I Have Never Been More Awake In My Life
#help my eyes keep drifting back open#im trying all my tricks#cozy couch setup. whale shark plush to cling to. low lights. wendigoon iceberg in the bg. laughingstock imaginings in brain#IM WIDE TF AWAKE AND HAVE TO GET UP IN LESS THAN 7 HOURS#fuckfuckfuck did i pack my melatonin gummies already by mistake#i mean its not like i have to drive or anything#but id like to be... Aware. Available to converse with my dearest darling bestie#because i Am going to see my bestie!#absolutely unprompted#huh wait when was the last time i talked to a real life person in front of me. um.#its... been a couple weeks#NOT A MONTH YET THIS TIME! LESS THAN A MONTH!#but ohhhhh i am excited#tea with the homeslicebreadslice... joint Art creation....#BEING OUT IN THE WORLD AHAHA I WILL BE TEMPORARILY FREE#clawing at the walls let me OUT#gonna start biting this house i swear to god#i cant wait to be free of it. i hope it burns in the next big wildfire#OK WAIT NEW PLAN. i washed my mug and i have chamomile tea#i will drink some warm soothing tea uhhhhh maybe re-read a fic?#willing myself not to read stamps for the millionth time. im gonna read stamps for the millionth time#listen listen i love it and also im starving for fic#one day i will contribute but for now im poking ao3 with a stick begging it to do something#Soon though. i have a feeling. a strong psychic feeling.#Soon... something will Appear... i know this because my third eye is open#also i know because i know. OR DO I#im so tired yet so awake at the same time#someone whack me over the head with a cartoon mallet so that i may go to sleep with little birdies circling my head#wait shit those are vultures. IM NOT DEAD YET FUCK OFF#please i need to go snzzzzzz.... my alarm will be Going Off...
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here is my catalogue for fanexpo this year 🙇
#fanexpo canada#fanexpo toronto#fanexpo 2024#what else is it called idk. i cant keep my eyes open#conventions#prints
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my testosterone is failing me (again) but this lighting makes me feel like royalty
#the only time of day my stupid eyes are a nice colour#sorry#blond#agender#curly hair#glasses#single#ftm#transmasc#royalcore#i need my person to come find me this week has been defeatinf#i miss someone ive never met and i cant keep going without him in my life#so applications are open for thick boys with nice voices and blue eyes#but like....dont get your hopes up
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google search results for kitties cuddling
#a doodley#i can barely keep my eyes open im crawling to bed#cow al comes home to them like dis is what i was getting at earlier#also what is the explanation for when you start devolving in drawing something you have not once stopped drawing...#bc ive been drawing both smunker and talon's middle parts (in their hair) year round and suddenly it keeps looking weird and off#or feeling wrong and i cant do it...whats the deaaal....idgi...#also he's not biting smunker his fangs are just Out
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hiii good morning
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i just think we should be playing w “good girl” (for men) more often send tweet
#so fatigued i literally cant keep my eyes fully open and yet i cannot sleep#filter on zero for the night i’m afraid
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god made me a tired guy because... because .. b..... snoorkkmimimimjmi... snoorrree mmjmimimim
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thinking abt how the original QPB trio wouldve been just 3 mentally unwell adults w lifetimes of trauma and KdjfksjdKFJJS...
#no wonder they were beefing /j#they need yeseo... AHAH#idk like#i still dont know ga-in's full deal but from what ive seen...#def parental (and workplace) abuse going on...#cedric... self explanatory#and jesse like... being an illegitimate child ooh and his stepfather dedicating every min to trying to ruin his life umm#yeah...#not that i dont think yeseos also had a perfect life... im keeping my eyes open at the bits of foreshadowing for him i wanna know his deal#cant stop thinking abt how he almost never mentions his parents? whats up w that#twsb#twsb spoilers#(just for the ga-in bit)m#i wanna know more abt jesse tho...#sigh will never stop losing my mind that cedric went from beefing w jesse as a love rival#to falling in love with him (but its actually a diff guy. our yeseo...🤧#im crazy for this but cant stop thinking abt QPB cedjess.....#esp since apparently they couldve gotten along if it werent for the circumstances... ough#idc abt romantic cedchris at all tho like thank u for resetting the timeline <3#i wanna know what... that last moment was like...#when jesse sacrificed himself to save cedric....#jesse telling him to be happy with christelle/take care of her...#what was cedric's reaction... what was the look on both of their faces in that moment...#ghhHHH i would want to see og cedjesschris but not as a love triangle w chris at the center like it was before...#i'd just wanna see platonic shenanigans#but the og novel wasnt like that... 😔#actually it makes me wild considering that the original QPB trio didnt have/use powers#like thats wild to me. they were so different.....#the genre switch was so good for them <3#went from shoujo to shounen /j
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could a hayfever girl ever truly love a tree nymph girl? the answer is yes thanks to nondrowsy allegra.
#i love having a normal brain. im so snotty i can barely breathe i cant keep my eyes open and the only constructive thought ive got is#oh god. i could never date zhaan farscape.
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