#but i am. so tired. and i do not want to keep discovering new thoughts and patterns. i don't need this right now i like where i am rn

[ame-to-ame]

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[thefrogman]

Froggie's Mailbox Adventures

I have been wanting to tell this story for a while now. This all happened right before my birthday and then I got sick for 4 weeks and didn't have the energy to talk about it.

So let us take a trip into the recent past to hear a tale of woe and triumph with a bunch of extra woe interspersed throughout.

It all began on the 4th of July.

Some neighborhood rascals ruined my old mailbox with a baseball bat.

They also destroyed my brand new mailbox sensor that lets me know when there is mail so I don't have to make multiple trips to check.

(Ring replaced it for free, so that was nice.)

Originally, I was going to hire someone to replace the mailbox. But I was not having much luck finding someone who could do that specific task. (I've been having trouble finding help in general due to living in a supposedly "dangerous" area.)

So I decided to try and install the mailbox myself. And I had no idea how much of an adventure that was going to be...

My first step was tearing off the old one to see how it was mounted.

I got some paper and a sharpie and noted where the holes were. And, of course, they didn't line up with the new mailbox.

Which is a really nice mailbox. I mean, it is solid. Check this bad boy out and please don't notice the dirty clothes lying on the floor in the background.

It is always so tempting to save a few bucks and get the cheaper thing, but I am so glad I splurged on this. It looks nice. It functions well. It has magnets. And I don't think it can be baseball-batted without some instant karmic retribution from Newton's third law.

My next step was to get a new mounting plate. And even though I try not to go to Home Depot because it is run by a bunch of conservative religious bigots... I went to Home Depot.

I was a little nervous about leaving the house at the time because I was still struggling with my heart issue (which I think is mostly resolved now). I was trying to be very careful about how much I exerted myself. I really didn't want to have an episode while I was out and about.

After searching for a while I discovered they had a mounting plate and a pressure-treated mounting board. I could do wood or metal. And they were located on completely opposite ends of the store because of course they were.

I had both items in my hand and I did that thing where you just keep staring at something hoping a useful thought will pop into your brain. I had no clue which one was better for my needs. There is surprisingly little information regarding mailbox installation on the internet. YouTube really let me down on this one. I was just kinda winging it and solving problems as I went along.

I stared for for a little while longer and no useful thoughts happened.

I was tired of staring so I just said, "Fuck it" and made an executive decision.

Then I almost passed out in Home Depot.

I spent too much time walking around that gigantic monstrosity of a store and my heart started beating super fast and my legs felt like jello and I started getting quite dizzy.

I was in rough shape.

So... I had a little lie-down next to a wall of tape measures.

I just stared up at them thinking about all of the things I could measure.

I could measure a dog.

Or a horsie.

Or a horsie the size of a dog.

Then I thought, "Ooh, that one has lasers! I NEED IT."

My brain was not functioning at 100% in that moment.

After about 10 minutes of thinking about lasers and things I could measure with lasers, my body seemed to reboot and I was able to get up. Thankfully no one saw me and thought there was a dead body in the aisle or something. But that was still embarrassing all the same.

Once my heart slowed down I was able to pay and make it out to the car. I headed home and saw one of the most unusual sunsets of my life. The sun was dim and a shade of orange I have never seen in nature. It was like, cheeto orange. Not only that, it was a perfect circle with a super crisp outline. It didn't look real.

I tried to get a picture of it but when I looked at the picture later, the camera didn't capture anything like what I saw.

This is the best approximation I can manage. But it still doesn't do it justice.

I was hoping I could get home in time to grab my real camera and capture this strange setting sun, but it dipped below the horizon just as I pulled into my driveway.

I then started problem solving how to get the new mailbox in place with the items I purchased. And I was on a deadline because I have no clue what happens when the mailperson arrives and they don't have a mailbox to put the mail in. Do they just throw it on the ground? Do they get to keep the mail? Are they going to use all of my grocery coupons?

And for some reason, my post office does not keep a consistent delivery schedule. I've been trying to figure out a pattern for weeks and they just seem to come "whenever" and that is about as close as I can pin it down. Which is why I got the mailbox sensor.

Due to my near fainting episode in Home Depot, I was in no shape to be handy, so I was trying to think of a temporary solution to put the new mailbox on without properly mounting it. At first I was going to just wrap it in packing tape a bunch of times. But then I noticed I had a bunch of string. And I decided that was a more interesting solution... for reasons? My brain was still not doing well. But when I tried to tie the new mailbox to the post with the string it failed miserably. And I realized the packing tape wouldn't work either. The mailbox did not sit flat on the post and it wiggled. However, because I tried the dumb string method, I discovered this wiggle issue and it actually helped me figure out how to mount it.

I gave up for the night and decided to hope I could install the box in the morning before "whenever" happened. The next morning I started drawing dots on boards and comparing my old holes to my new holes and measuring clearances. (Measuring without lasers like a chump.) I needed to elevate the mailbox in order to mount it and that's when I thought to combine the board and the plate. I could screw the board into the old holes and then create new holes in the board for the plate to attach. And the plate lined up with the holes in the bottom of the new mailbox.

EASY!

It was a pretty big brain moment for me and I felt like I just solved quantum physics or something.

You're probably pretty confused because you are not as smart as I am.

Here is a diagram to help.

The board mounts to the post arm. The plate screws into the board. The mailbox screws into the plate.

Or just use string.

Also, how fortunate was it that I stared for all that time and got frustrated and just bought both things?

My next problem was that my drill wouldn't fit inside the mailbox and I couldn't screw the screws in place. So I drilled pilot holes in the board so I could manually screw in the screws with a ratcheting right angle screwdriver.

And the only reason I had one of those is because I use it as a fidget toy. (I like the clicky sounds.)

Another lucky happenstance!

I tried to prepare as much as I could in my garage before dragging all of my tools to the end of my lengthy driveway. I brought along my dad's old rolling walker so I'd have something to transport everything.

But also so I'd have something to sit on while I was installing the new box. Then I wouldn't have another heart episode and need another lie-down.

Seriously, how big is my brain?

I am like the smartest person alive.

So I got to the end of the driveway with all of my tools and my board and my plate and my templates and I realized something was missing.

The new mailbox.

I am like the dumbest person alive.

After a quick back-and-forth to retrieve the mailbox, I got started on my master mounting plan.

I screwed the board onto the post arm.

Then I screwed the plate into the board.

Then I lined up the new mailbox onto the plate.

But as I was doing this, I was kinda sticking out into the street a little bit. And usually that isn't a big deal. Cars can see me from very far away and they were just steering around me. But then two cars came from opposite directions at the same time and I was in a precarious position where I could not move. One car steered wide to avoid me, and for some reason, the other car decided not to slow down but to drive off the edge of the street.

And as they pulled this maneuver I heard a loud thump, followed by a loud pop, and then the sound of hissing getting farther and farther away.

Like a snake version of the Doppler effect.

They drove directly into this and popped their tire.

On the one hand, I felt a little responsible and guilty. On the other, it is not my responsibility to fix the street. And on a third hand, that was silly driving behavior and perhaps they will see this as a learning moment.

After processing what just happened I got back to the task at hand. To my delight and surprise, all of my planning and problem-solving was working. Everything fit together perfectly. The right angle ratcheting screwdriver was screwing in the screws. And after I tightened the final one...

I had successfully installed a new mailbox, on my own, without any jankiness or tape or string.

Like, I did this legit proper.

Tons of pure endorphins rushed into wherever endorphins go. (Again, I am very smart.) That feeling of accomplishment was pure ecstasy. I had no idea how to do this and in less than 24 hours I was basically an expert mailbox installer. I took some shots of my work on my phone so I could brag to Katrina, packed up all of my tools, and began to walk back to the house.

And... my heart started beating fast again.

And... I needed to have another little lie-down in the grass next to my driveway.

I stared up at the sky and was frustrated and proud simultaneously. A weird mixture of emotions. At the time I didn't know if my heart could be fixed. But thankfully I had my sense of accomplishment to temper my heart sadness.

And then I thought, "I should get a new address sign."

Epilogue time!

I got on Amazon and started looking up new signs. And I found one that was solar powered and lit up at night. So clearly I needed to have that one. My midnight food delivery people will never struggle to find my house again!

And it actually looked pretty neat.

(My address is not actually four 0s, but you are free to try sending me something.)

The sign was very easy to read... if you were super duper close.

But if you were farther away...

You couldn't actually distinguish the numbers. And it kinda looked weird next to the mailbox. And headlights made the numbers even harder to see. Which was the opposite of what I was going for.

So I opted to get a more traditional sign.

(Please send items to the realm of nothingness. I am in the void.)

But this bugged me because the sign was a different size than the old sign and the connection points didn't line up perfectly.

I HAD A CATAWAMPUS CHAIN!

WHICH IS THE MOST UNACCEPTABLE KIND OF WAMPUS!

It was at this point that Katrina started making fun of my perfectionism.

But this wasn't perfectionism for perfection's sake.

My Dad was having trouble fixing things around the house. And some other kids knocked over the previous, previous mailbox. And he found the strength to go to the store, get a new one, and install it all by himself. He was at the end of the driveway, attached to his portable oxygen canisters, and fixing one last thing for this house.

And I guess I just wanted to get it back to perfect. Because he never did any handyman task half-assed. He was a full-ass handyman. Always.

So... I fixed the sign.

Perfectly balanced.

Again, feel free to send me stuff to 0000 Road.

I'm sure it will get here... "whenever."

[daddyslilchickenfingers2]

Kinktober (reuploaded)

Thigh Riding (Matt)

Request: None

Warnings: Sub Matt, short, besties to lovers, clingy/needy Matt, subspace, whining, begging, just overall super submissive Matt, kind of anxiety subspace

Y/n’s pov

These last two weeks I have been super busy with work, and Matt who’s used to having my attention 90% of the day, is feeling neglected. I’m not doing it on purpose, I’m letting him sit in my room with me during my meetings or playing with his hair while I’m on a phone call but that’s not enough. I’ve even started editing in Matt’s room so I could spend more time with him. Matt’s my best friend, he just so happens to be super clingy towards me, now that Chris has a girlfriend. He also suffers from severe anxiety so sometimes he falls into a subspace and gets super clingy like a toddler to their mother.

Marylou had told me that Matt’s been like that his whole life, his brain just scrambles. He needs to be told what to do and praised or else he gets really sad/anxious and starts to cry. Knowing this is why I try to spend as much time with him as possible when he’s in his subspace. Today was a bit different though, as Matt openly admitted to everyone this morning that he was feeling ‘submissive and horny’ without a warning. Chris and I laughed while Nick just sat there uncomfortably until they finished their breakfast and both brothers left for the day.

Matt was really needy today, constantly wanting my attention and following my every move. He said he was tired so I went up to his room with him to edit some pictures and thumbnails while he slept. That was short-lived though, as 5 minutes later, Matt was asking to sit on my lap. This was new, but nonetheless, I agreed, letting him sit on my lap while I worked until he got uncomfortable and shifted to one of my thighs. This position was a bit awkward considering he was only wearing boxers and a tshirt, I was wearing the same but I had shorts instead of boxers.

I moved my leg under him and Matt let out a loud gasp that I just ignored until he experimentally moved his hips forward. “Matt, what are you doing?” I questioned, he let out a whimper as he rolled his hips forward again. “C-Can you have sex with me?” he asked, I was shocked to say the least. It’s not that I didn’t want to have sex with Matt, because quite frankly I did. It’s that I’m busy and he’s not in the right headspace, I’m not going to take advantage of that now that he finally trusts me enough to be as vulnerable with me as he is to his mom and Chris.

I thought of a way to let him down gently so he wouldn’t cry, “I’m sorry Matty, I can’t. I’m really busy today, how about I leave for a little bit and you can jack off?” I said softly. I gauged his face for any signs of sadness but he was more so upset. He was still essentially grinding on my thigh in a way while whining because I said no. “Bu-But please?” he tried again, “Not today baby, I’m sorry” I said to him again, “Can I- Uh can I-“ he started.

“Can you what? You gotta use your words” “Can I ride your thigh? Please?” he begged, shoving his hand into his boxers and readjusting his cock. I figured there’s no harm in letting him use my thigh, as long as we’re both clothed, it should be fine. Sighing, I clicked save on my laptop and stood up, picking Matt up and putting him on his bed. He looked at me with wide eyes, “A-Am I in trouble?” he asked nervously, “No, I’d just rather sit on your bed, c’mon you can ride my thigh if you keep your clothes on” I explained.

He excitedly got back on my thigh, fixing his cock so the head was pressed right against my thigh, taking on a lot of his body weight as well so there was more pressure on it. He started moving his hips, whining at the new feeling he’d discovered. “Touch me?” he asked, I cupped his face and lightly stroked his jaw. “I’m sorry Matty, I can’t do that” I said softly causing Matt to loudly whine. “Just to help me move. Pleeeaase?” he dragged out.

I gave in, agreeing that I would hold onto his hips or waist to help him move faster. I could feel Matt’s dick rubbing on my thigh and not gonna lie, it turned me on. Matt had his hands on his thighs as he essentially humped my thigh, “Fuck! This feels so good! Wish you would touch me Y/n/n, so badly” he moaned out. “I know Matty, I’m sorry. You’re doing so well by yourself though” I praised him. He started to move faster, swiveling his hips a few times and moaning.

Matt must be really sensitive because he was already whimpering and acting like he was close. “Are you gonna cum Matt?” I asked seductively, “Y-Yes, s-so close, can I cum in my pants? Is that okay?” he inquired, breathlessly. “Go ahead baby” I said and Matt started moving faster. He moved his arms to my shoulders and hid his face in my neck, moaning at the pleasure. Matt’s hips sputtered and he moaned loudly in my ear as he came, a lot of his cum ended up leaking through his boxers and onto my thigh but I didn’t mind. I started rubbing Matt’s back while he came down from his high, panting in my ear and holding onto my shoulders tightly.

“Do you feel better now Matty?” I asked him softly, only getting a simple hum back before he pulled away from my neck. He looked so fucked out and I didn’t even do anything to him, Matt got off my thigh and instantly frowned, “I made a mess” he pouted. It really wasn’t even that bad, he just needed to change his boxers and I needed to wipe my leg off but to him, it seemed very important. “It’s okay, I can get us cleaned up baby” I smiled down at him, and to my surprise, Matt leaned down and started licking his own cum off my thigh, it was pretty hot.

“Wha-“ I started but Matt was already done, “Was I a good boy?” he asked with pleading eyes, “Yes Matty, you were very good” I praised, making him smile widely. He made his way off the bed and quickly changed his boxers as I walked back over to his desk, but he stopped me by hugging me from behind. I turned around to properly hug him and kiss the top of his head, “Thank you” he smiled happily “You’re welcome handsome” I smiled back. Matt pulled away from the hug and went over to his bed, “I’m going to take a nap now, can you still stay in here please?” he asked while getting under the covers. “Yes, I’ll stay. Goodnight Matty” I replied, “Goodnight” he mumbled back, already falling asleep while I went back to my editing.

Taglist: @angelic-sturniolos111 @biimpanicking @biplrbtch @chrisolivia4l @christinarowie332 @chr1sgirl4life @creamoncreamoncream2 @delimeats-000 @devthepoet @ermdontmindthisaccount @flowerxbunnie @fionaheartswomen @gilbertscurls @heartsforchrisandmatt @iheartchrissturniolo @ilovemattsturn @its-jennarose @justaslvttygirl @kvtie444 @lustfulslxt @luvysworld @meg-sturniolo @m6ttsturniolo @mangosrar @mangoposts @meerkatzthings @mattsnutsack @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @recklesssturniolo @solarsturniolo @soursturniolo @strniohoeee @strawberrysturniolo @sturniolocoded @sturniofilmd @sturniolohoe @sturniolopepsi @sturniolo0ntop @thecynthh

All work is subject to copyright

©Daddyslilchickenfingers2 2024

Do not steal, use, or reupload my work

[leah-lover]

Good chaos. Mary earps x pundit reader.

Mary spoils her relationship with reader on air.

Ever since you were a kid you loved talking. You started doing it from a very young age. 

you found your comfort in having conversations. Whether it was about the weather, a movie, gossip, or deep concepts you thrived. When you got older you discovered theater, and fell in love with the stage. Cameras and audiences never frightened you. 

Heading into college you chose media as a degree and you were expelled at it which landed you a job in the best company in British television, the BBC. of course your beauty helped in the process but they assured that they cared more about your thoughts and talent of capturing attention and holding meaningful conversation. You started your career by doing interviews on red carpets, and hosting a few talk shows. Your audience grew quickly and you found yourself a household name for half a year, which was unheard of. 

After a few years you grew tired of the facknes od the Hollywood scene but you still loved your job so you decided to change the scenery and go to sports. The change was radical and brought about many questions from your fans. But they stuck by you. You brought a new following to the sport you chose which was women’s football.

Women’s football was on the rise and you saw an opportunity to change the field. 

The WSL felt like the home you needed. The fans of the sport, the atmosphere and the message it transpired was very much up your alley. The thing that helped you feel more at home was the queerness of the game, and the acceptance of the people,  something you have been longing for.

It has now been 8 years since you joined BBC sports. Like many predicted you had a huge following across all the platfomùs, you have won awards and presented many to other people. 

Everybody loved to be interviewed by you. 

Tonight was a special night, it was the last leg of the Olympic qualifying. You as usual were a part of the team that covered the Lionesses games. 

The game was nothing short of exhilarating, after a tough 120 minutes the Egland girls made it to the olympics. Screams and cheers erupted as wembley. The most notable person people were cheering for was Mary Earps , the exceptional goalkeepers or as you have her in your contacts by, lovely girlfriend. 

Mary was protective, she wanted to keep your relationship a secret to protect your career and you as a person. 

You were beyond proud of her, and she was proud of herself too which you described in the sideline interview you did with her.

“ So Mary, that was a stunning performance by you , player of the match, tell me what you think.?” i asked 

“ I think the girls did a wonderful job, cheering the midfield for distributing good balls, the forwards did a fantastic job finishing, and obviously my defender who battled with me today. '' she replied shouting.

“ Well I am most excited for this years’ Olympic games. The competition is very heated. What are your thoughts about that?” 

“ i am looking forward to playing in the olympics, aiming for gold, and having you there as my good luck omen.” 

“ wheel I will make sure to be there all the way.” 

Before leaving she gave you a kiss on the cheek and her hand lingered a little too long on your ass. 

While Mary left to do press conference duties and leave for your home in Manchester, you stayed in London doing some post production work and you undecided to go party with your team after. 

The night was fun, you took a 4 Am flight after and opened your front door around  9 am. It was Mary and your off day so she decided to sleep in. 

“ Good morning my love.” you said kissing her temple, and passing your fingers along her face softly. Without hesitation she picked you up and threw you in the bed next to her. Giggling you kisses her softly again, and again, and again. 

“ So proud of you baby. I love you so much.” 

“ I missed you. I wanted to celebrate with you yesterday. I miss your beautiful body so much.”

“ and my ass.Speaking of my ass, I need to check mùy phone.” 

You moved from Mary’s group which earned you a groan. you then put your phone in the charger and set it on. 

Your phone almost exploded when you opened it. Your notifications were crazy. You Clicked on the first one which was tweet

“ holy shit Mary is for the girls, holy shit she is an ass girl.” under the tweet was snap pon the moment mary kissed you with her hand on your ass. 

“ holy fuck Mary, i think we have been exposed.” you say to here. 

You both looked at the tweets for a little bit. All of the ones you saw were positive and surprising. 

“ Well you have a very good ass baby.” she said. You smack her hand as a response. 

“It was time for people to know that you and your ass are mine now get back into bed so that you can reward me for yesterday.” she added.

“ I have to tweet This first.” you said

“ proud of my goalkeeper. Proud of my girlfriend.” you wrote. 

“ Now let the chaos begin while I create chaos between your legs,” you say to Mary. 

[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (5/?)

Part summary: With Leigh, it feels like for every step forward, you end up taking two steps back.

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 5.600+ | Warnings Some angst, het stuff | A/N: Texts in italic indicate they happened in the past. We get an insight about R's past with Matt and a little surprise at the end.

Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Next part

-

You'd hardly expect to meet a decent guy on the street nowadays.

Though, to be fair, it's less about meeting him and more about running straight into him. At the moment, you don't give it much thought. You distinctly remember wincing from the impact, feeling solid muscle and jutting bones, and a surge of irritation bubbles up inside you because you're not exactly having the best day. But then, the man you ran into looks up, and his face is all apologies. 

He looks like he might cry if you don't forgive him, so you do. As you stand there, trying to process the situation, he notices the coffee spilled all over the floor—your coffee, which has now created a sad, dark puddle around your feet.

“Can I buy you another coffee?”

Despite the kind gesture, you find yourself shaking your head, more keen on changing out of your coffee-stained coat than sticking around any longer.

From a few steps away, his impatient friend calls out, “Are you coming, Matt?”

“Yeah, just wait a sec,” Matt responds, his attention still on you. You usually don’t trust men running into you without an agenda, but there’s something about him that tells you he didn’t mean to, and that he’s more than willing to make up for it.

“No, thanks. I got it…”

He looks unnecessarily worried as he leans in a bit closer. “You sure about that?” he asks. 

His brown eyes are the friendliest pair you’ve seen in a while. And being essentially alone in this new town, they pull you in like gravity.

“Y-Yes. Just watch where you’re going next time,” you stammer, attempting to stabilize your shaky legs.

“Matt!”

Matt nods hesitantly, then mumbles, “Sorry, I have to go. Again, I'm really sorry,” before his gaze releases you, and you feel its force that held you in a vice-like grip easing away. 

As you're walking away, you keep having to tell yourself not to look over your shoulder, even though every part of you kind of wants to.

You guess you must be really lonely, to cling onto the first bit of kindness someone throws your way.

-

Your deliberate attempts to bump into Leigh finally pay off one brisk Friday morning. But it’s not in the way you’ve imagined it would go.

The town is just waking up, the chill in the air biting at your cheeks as you take your routine jog through the quiet streets. You've discovered that running suits you better than yoga, mainly because it's something you can do solo, and you've always leaned towards activities where you can be by yourself. You’re tired, but you try to lift your knees higher with every stride, keeping your cadence in check.

Turning a corner, a sudden commotion catches your attention. A group of rowdy teenagers barrel down the sidewalk, loud and oblivious to anything but their own world. One of them, a bit too caught up in the fun, nearly crashes into you, forcing you to swerve unexpectedly.

In your effort to dodge, you step right into the path of Leigh Shaw. 

It all happens too fast; there's no chance for either of you to do anything else. You crash into each other, the impact sending a jolt through your bodies. You tumble sideways, your arm shooting out instinctively, breaking your fall and softening the impact as you land. Leigh lets out a sharp yelp as she staggers forward from the force of the collision, a look of shock quickly spreading across her face. As she falls, her knee scrapes against the rough concrete, and when she finally sits up, there's a noticeable gash, bleeding freely.

“Oh my god, I am so, so sorry,” you blurt out, horrified at the sight. “Are you okay? Can you stand?”

She grimaces, glancing at her knee, then back at you. “Well, I've definitely been better,” she says, trying to keep her voice light despite the pain. You give her a hand up, and as she leans on you for support, you can't help but notice she's dressed in denim shorts, a blue parka, and flip-flops—not exactly the attire for a morning jog. The sun's just starting to show its face, and you're left wondering where she's headed so early, if she's not out for a run or something.

Looking around, you notice the roll-up shutters of nearby establishments are still down, indicating they won't be opening anytime soon. It’s apparent that there's nowhere immediate to find help or a first-aid kit. You scratch the back of your neck, an awkward idea coming to you.

“I don’t think there’s nowhere we can ask for help,” you start, trying not to sound too anxious about what you’re about to suggest. “I've got a first-aid kit at my place, though. It's not far. We could fix you up there, if you're okay with it?”

Leigh takes a beat, and then gives you a nod. “I guess that's my best option right now. Lead the way.”

As you start walking, Leigh instinctively grabs your arm for support. Your foot have barely hit the pavement when she suddenly grips tighter, fingers clawing into your arm as she lets out a hiss of pain. The wound must have stretched as she bent her knee to take a step, and with the way she's limping, you realize making her walk is a bad call.

“Shit, I'm really sorry,” you apologize again, the situation dawning on you. This isn't at all how you wanted to run into Leigh again, especially after trying to find a way to reconnect since the dinner in her car. “Let me get an Uber.”

Leigh starts to object, but you're already pulling out your phone. The last thing you wanted was for your attempt to help to end up hurting her more.

-

“So, where were you headed earlier?” you ask casually, hoping not to pry too much. “Doesn't seem like you were out for a run like I was.”

Leigh’s injury is more severe than you first thought; after hitting a rough patch on the pavement, her knee took the brunt of the fall. The skin is scraped away in several places, revealing angry, reddened flesh beneath. 

“Grocery, or something,” Leigh mumbles, distracted and wincing a bit as you ready another dab of antiseptic for her knee. The moment the cotton touches the wound, she can't help but jerk away slightly.

“Sorry, sorry,” you murmur, soothingly, noticing she's struggling to stay still. To help steady her, you gently hold onto her calf, and that's when you feel your cheeks start to warm up. “I'll be as quick as I can,” you promise, trying to sound more confident than you feel.

“I’m okay. You're doing...fine,” Leigh sighs between clenched teeth, obviously trying to downplay her discomfort. 

You know you're not fine, certainly not in the way Leigh means. All you can hear is yours and Leigh’s breathing, and your heart stuttering in your chest, because despite barely seeing Leigh in recent weeks, this annoying little crush won’t go away. It’s weird enough that she’s Matt’s wife, and you can't shake the feeling that you’re probably the last person she’d ever look at that way. Not to mention, you're not even sure if she's into women.

Once you’re done cleaning her wound, you carefully wrap a bandage around her knee. Then, you head to the fridge to grab some ice, noticing Leigh's puzzled look when you return.

“What’s that for?” she asks, tilting her head slightly.

“I have a feeling you're going to have a bone bruise after that fall,” you explain, handing her the ice wrapped in a cloth. “This should help with the pain and keep the swelling down.”

She accepts it, a small smile of gratitude on her face as she says, “Thanks.”

“No problem, it's my fault anyway.”

“It was an accident,” Leigh points out.

An accident that, if I'm being honest with myself, I was somewhat hoping for, you reflect with regret.

Leigh looks relieved as she presses the ice against her knee, eyes closing for a moment. With the immediate pain taken care of, you can't help but wonder again where she was headed earlier as you start pulling ingredients out of the fridge to whip up some breakfast.

“Hope you're hungry,” you say, flashing a smile as you fire up the stove.

“I'm fine, really,” she says, but the moment the bacon starts sizzling, she caves. “Actually, I could eat.”

With your back to her, you could smirk all you want at her change of heart. After frying up the bacon and eggs, you pull out some leftover rice and begin chopping garlic.

“What are you making?” Leigh asks suddenly from behind you.

“This is something I picked up on my travels through Southeast Asia,” you share as you cook. “Can't do bacon and eggs without it anymore. But I'll get some toast going for you.”

Leigh's face lights up, almost childlike. “Toast sounds great.”

You and Leigh settle into your meal, you with your plate of garlic rice, bacon, and eggs, and Leigh with her toast done just right alongside her bacon and eggs. She surprises you by complimenting how you cooked the eggs, noticing they're slightly burnt to a crisp around the edges.

“I've never had my eggs quite like this before,” she says.

“Oh, that?” you chuckle. “Learned the technique by accident some time ago. Got distracted and ended up leaving them on the heat a bit too long.”

She laughs too, and soon enough, you're both just talking like old friends, the conversation breezy and effortless. You begin to get a real sense of Leigh's sense of humor and it complements yours in the best way. Leigh loops back to when you mentioned visiting Southeast Asia, and you're more than happy to share your experiences, considering she's never left the country.

“...I’m pretty sure Hawaii counts, right? With the weather and everything, plus it’s really far—”

You’re still cracking up over some joke she made moments ago, and now you’re wondering if you’ll ever stop. 

“No way, Leigh, it doesn’t work like that!” you get out between laughs, holding onto your stomach as you shake with laughter.

The more you talk, the more Leigh hangs on every word, making you feel surprisingly at ease. Sharing stories about places you've been and things you've seen becomes less about bragging and more about just sharing your adventures with someone who’s really listening. It's kind of refreshing, actually, feeling this free to dive into your memories with someone so interested.

That is until the topic eventually shifts to your fitness routine. It's then that Leigh offhandedly mentions, “You'll probably see more progress with the new instructor next week. I heard she’s got a certificate and all.”

You pause, fork paused mid-air. “New instructor? You’re not leading the class next week?”

Leigh simply shakes her head no.

“Then, when are you coming back?”

Leigh takes a breath before saying, “I actually quit.”

Hearing her say she’s left the studio nearly makes you spit out your breakfast. You're halfway through a bite, trying to wrap your head around the news, when suddenly, Leigh checks her phone. Before you can even dive into a million questions about why she quit, she's saying she needs to head home.

Your thoughts are spinning, but you don’t miss the opportunity to offer her a ride.

“You drive?” Leigh looks surprised. 

“Yeah, just got the car this weekend,” you manage to say, still reeling from the shock that Leigh won't be at Beautiful Beast anymore.

“Are you sure? I can just call a cab,” Leigh mutters, probably noticing you're a bit out of it. 

“No, really, I insist,” you say. Making her walk on that knee seems like the last thing you should do. 

Leigh tries to brush it off once more, “Again, an accident.”

You ignore her, grabbing your keys from a dusty fishbowl. “Doesn't mean I won't be kicking myself over it.”

She lets out a sigh, and you can't quite tell if she's resigned or just annoyed. 

-

As you pull up in front of Leigh's house for the first time, you're immediately taken in by its typical three-bedroom layout. The lawn, however, looks like it hasn't seen a mower in quite some time, giving the place a lived-in, somewhat neglected feel. You quickly get out of the car to help Leigh to the front step.

Then, out of nowhere, Leigh curses, patting down her pockets in a panic. “Fuck, I forgot my keys.”

“But someone should be home, right?” you ask.

Leigh rings the doorbell, her expression turning sour. “Yeah, my sister,” she mutters, clearly not thrilled at the prospect.

You're taken aback when, a few seconds later, it's Jules from the studio who opens the door. The sharp look they exchange isn't lost on you; it's clear there's more to the story than just Leigh coming home without her keys. You're gearing up to say goodbye, assuming Leigh will head inside, but instead, she turns to you and says, “Wait right here.”

You do as she says, glancing at the ground, shuffling your feet back and forth.

“Hi, I'm Jules, Leigh's sister. I've seen you around at Beautiful Beast. You're one of Leigh's clients?” Jules smiles at you, politely offering a hand for you to shake. You accept it and introduce yourself in return. Watching her face, you see the moment she puts it all together. 

“Oh, you're the vet who Matt had—I'm sorry. It's just, I wasn't expecting to see you here, helping Leigh home.”

You knew where that first sentence was going, but you're silently thankful Jules decided to pull back and not finish it. You force a smile as you explain how you got here. “She was out for groceries, and I kind of ran into her, leading to a bit of a fall, and now—”

“No, she wasn’t,” Jules cuts in sharply. 

“Sorry?”

“Leigh didn't come home last night,” she says. But before you have a chance to process this new information, Leigh returns, clutching a fifty-dollar bill.

“For the trouble,” she tells you, getting in front of Jules.

You attempt to wave it off. “Hey, you don't have to do that—”

But Leigh isn't taking no for an answer, she presses the bill into your hand. You never see it coming what happens next: she plants a quick peck on your cheek, effectively shutting down any further protests. The spot where her lips brushed against your skin tingles, and it’s all you can think about for a moment. Without waiting for you to react properly, Leigh starts herding Jules back inside the house, throwing over her shoulder a quick, “Thanks again, Y/N. Bye.”

You're left there, holding the bill in one hand, touching your cheek with the other, and staring at the closed door, suddenly very aware of how little you actually know about what's going on in Leigh's life.

-

Suzie shoots you that knowing look again as you head out of the clinic decked out in your active gear.

This time, a blush creeps up on your cheeks, memories of your chat with her about someone “making those sweat sessions worth it” floating back, and you try your best not to let your thoughts drift to Leigh. But then it hits you that she won't be there. Despite your dedication, the sheer excitement of going to the studio isn't quite what it used to be without her as your instructor.

Just as Suzie is about to lock up, the door bursts open. A man rushes in, cradling a small dog in his arms, panic written all over his face. He explains, breathless, that his pet is struggling with labor.

Suzie looks back at you. “I could call Foreman for this,” she says, already reaching for her phone. You stand there for a second, deliberating. Leigh won't be at the class; she's no longer at the Beautiful Beast. 

Then, making up your mind, you hold out a hand to stop Suzie. “No, there’s no need. I've got this.”

-

It feels like you've just walked into one of those old-timey romantic movies, where chivalry isn’t dead and everything turns out way better than you could've ever hoped. In hindsight, it’s better. Because it’s real, and you're right in the middle of it, living a dream you didn't even know you had, with the kind of guy you thought only existed in those movies.

The night air is cool and light, brushing against your skin as the car slows to a stop in front of your apartment. To say the least, it's been an unexpected evening for a first date, and easily one of the best.

As Matt pulls up to your building, he turns to you, a sheepish grin lighting up his face. “Well, here we are,” he says, as if surprised you've arrived so soon. 

You don’t want to say goodbye. Not yet. So you stay put in the passenger seat, doing your best to draw out the last strands of the evening.

“So, Nick was the mastermind behind all this?” you tease, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you two. 

Matt chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, about that... I had no clue he asked for your number until he handed it to me and said, ‘You owe me one’.”

“He’s the perfect wingman, then?”

“I guess you could say that,” Matt agrees, smiling. “I didn't tell him about my interest in you, but Nick knew anyway. He's good at reading people, always has been.”

“I see,” you say, your gaze following the contours of his cheeks, which carry a soft pink blush. It could be from the red wine you both enjoyed at dinner, or, you find yourself hoping, it might be because of you. “Well, he has my thanks. I really thought he was the one interested in me though.”

Matt laughs, a sound that rumbles deep in his chest. “No, it was always me. Since the moment I, uh, ran into you.”

There’s a moment where you both just stare at each other, tacitly acknowledging the serendipity of it all—the accidental meeting that could've ended with a simple apology and nothing more. 

Yet here you are.

“You know, I'm glad it was you,” you profess, feeling a boldness that usually isn't there. 

Matt breaks into a huge grin, but it's really in his eyes where you can see just how happy your remark has made him.

“Would you... maybe want to do this again? Without the running into each other part, I mean,” he says softly.

You laugh, nodding. “I'd like that. Just maybe start with coffee next time. And no spilling.”

“Deal,” he says, his grin infectious.

As you step out of the car, a proposition forms in your mind and you backtrack.

“Would you like to get that coffee now?”

-

Sometimes, you find yourself dreaming about your memories with Matt, particularly the part Leigh interrogated you about. Even though you stuck to the facts, you couldn't shake off the feeling that you were somehow deceiving her.

You wonder if this is why you haven't been able to sleep for days. That, coupled with the fact that you've been handling emergencies yourself instead of calling Foreman as you used to. Suzie has mentioned that since you're taking on all the emergency cases, you might be overcompensating your intern. You don’t tell Suzie though that your work has become a welcome distraction from the realization that your new hobby no longer holds your interest, leaving you with extra hours to fill before returning to the solitude of your apartment.

And without seeing Leigh, there’s only your own head to get your fill of her. You find yourself thinking about her now and then, about what she's been doing, wondering if she's found a new job after leaving her yoga instructor position. She crosses your mind at the most random hours of the day, take right now, for example—staring at this little 8-day-old Shih Tzu puppy in the incubator, its fur somehow has you thinking of Leigh's hair color.

The puppy was part of a litter brought in for a C-section. Tragically, its mother didn't survive, and the owner, possibly overwhelmed by the situation and the impending bills, abandoned them. Out of four puppies, this one, the runt of the litter, was the sole survivor.

“What are we going to do with you, huh?” you muse aloud, the puppy blinking back with innocent eyes. “I can't take you for myself; you'd just end up living here in the clinic with me. And let's be honest, living in a hospital can't be much fun, right? It’s not safe either, exposes you to diseases.”

You sigh, brushing its length with your forefinger. “The other choice is to send you to a shelter. I'm sure someone would fall head over heels for you and adopt you in no time. But,” you sigh, your heart heavy, “I can't guarantee that'll happen quickly, as much as we both might want it to.”

“Finding where you fit in this big world isn't easy, you know? It's like searching for that one place, or that one person, where you could simply just… belong to. But I guess when you finally find it, it feels like winning the lottery, right?”

The puppy makes a noise, automatically bringing a smile to your lips. You wonder if Leigh has ever thought of the same thing—about searching for where she belongs after losing her home and everything familiar when Matt passed away. Perhaps it's even scarier for her. The thought of finding that one thing that's uniquely ours, only to lose it forever. What if we're only given one thing that's truly meant for us?

And once it's gone, what does that leave us with?

-

One sleepless night, after deciding to bring the puppy home for a more personal touch in its care, a thought crosses your mind. What if you could restore some of what was inadvertently taken from Leigh? Maybe bring back a piece of home and purpose that seemed to have slipped through her fingers when her world turned upside down?

It’s true, the puppy's late-night energy partly nudged the thought your way, but deep down, you believe Leigh will be perfect for him. You're sure she'll adore him, and he's bound to love her just as much.

Just as you're settling back to attempt sleep again, your phone starts ringing. You blink at the screen, disbelief washing over you as you see it's Leigh calling—the same woman you've recently realized you have feelings for, and who's been on your mind just moments ago. A part of you wonders if she dialed the wrong number by mistake, but it keeps ringing, compelling you to answer.

“Leigh?” you answer, the name almost a question in itself.

On the other end, you hear her take a deep breath—an ironic move given how the call exudes a vibe of urgency. Then, she speaks, her voice clear yet carrying an undercurrent of something you can't quite place. 

“Y/N Are you available to talk right now?”

“Yeah, I am. What's going on—”

“No, not on the phone. Can you meet me right now?”

You glance down at yourself, noting your sleep shorts and tee. You're so comfortable and cozy in bed, and the puppy had just gotten to sleep. It's tempting to reschedule this some other time. But the thought of Leigh Shaw on the other end of the line, coupled with the worrying nature of her request, tilts the balance. The idea of saying no, only to find out something bad happened to her, is something you know you wouldn’t forgive yourself for.

“Yes, I can meet you,” you say, hurrying your movements and snatching your jacket from the cabinet. “Where?”

-

The date doesn't end with just late-night coffee.

Matt's hand is on your ass, fingers digging in like he owns the place. You’re gripping his tie, pulling him in, again and again. Both of you are still wearing all your clothes, but they're starting to feel like barriers as you both lean into each other, striving to get as close as humanly possible.

The invitation for a nightcap, decaffeinated per his request, had both of you sitting a bit too close on the couch, sharing silly smiles over steaming cups as if you were already lost in love. When the cups were drained, conversation drifted dangerously towards the topic of sex, and that's when you caught yourself staring at Matt's lips. Before he had a chance to react, you were going for it, giving into weeks of pent-up sexual tension.

Matt's lips find their way to your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. Encouraged by the heat of the moment, your fingers start to work on the buttons of Matt's shirt, eager to explore further. 

But then his hands caught yours.

“W-Wait…”

You’re stunned, pulling back almost reflexively, feeling a bit embarrassed as you tried to figure out if you crossed a line.

“Did I... do something wrong?” you ask.

Matt shakes his head and then kisses you on the forehead. He further reassures you by saying, “No, no, it's not you. I just think we might be rushing things a bit. I really like you, and I want us to be sure about this, you know?”

Inside, you’re a mess of wants and needs, but as much as you want him tonight, you realize you want him even more tomorrow, and the day after. You won't rush this, especially if he's not ready. So, you nod, squashing down the throbbing between your legs as you try to concentrate on anything but his half-open shirt. 

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable or anything,” he adds, wearing that apologetic look on his face that got you the first time.

In response, you hold Matt's face gently, giving him a quick, soft kiss on the lips. “I really like you too,” you say, despite feeling like those words pale in comparison to what you truly feel for him.

Standing up, you figure he'll say his goodbyes and head out. But instead, Matt looks up at you, a sheepish grin spreading across his face.

“I don't want to rush things,” he repeats. “But, I also don't really want to leave just yet. Would it be okay if I stayed the night?”

The request takes you by surprise, a warm fluttering sensation bubbling up inside you at the thought of him wanting to stay. “Of course, you can stay,” you whisper, a smile tugging at your lips. “But I hope you're okay with the couch.”

Matt laughs and starts pulling off his socks. “There's nowhere else I'd rather be.”

-

Ever since Leigh asked to meet at a gas station on the sketchier side of town, your anxiety hasn't settled. It's a part of town known for trouble, somewhere you'd rather not be, especially in the dead of night. It doesn’t matter, because you’re hopelessly driven by concern and an unspoken affection that won't let you say no to her, no matter the time or place.

You walk up to the convenience store next to the gas station, its fluorescent lights flickering ominously, almost like you've just stepped into the opening scene of a horror movie. It's dead silent, aside from a radio playing inside the store, turned up by the person manning it in a feeble attempt to fill the silence or maybe to keep company. Leigh is inside, visible through the large, pane-glass window, nursing a coffee, alone. The way she's standing, something's off. 

You make your way towards her, hands buried deep in the comfort of your hoodie's pockets. 

“Hey—”

She's like a coiled spring at the sound of your voice. That should’ve been your first clue.

“Why did you lie?” Leigh asks point-blank.

“Leigh, I—What do you mean?”

Leigh's face twists into a grimace that chills you to the bone, a clear sign that tonight's going down one of two paths: either you both find a way through this mess, or she cuts you out for good. But you're lost, genuinely clueless about any lie she's accusing you of. You've been straight with her, at least you think you have.

Her nostrils flare, her eyes burning holes into you as she waits for some sort of confession. But all you can give her is a dumbfounded look.

After a while, Leigh's patience wears thin. “We're not doing this here,” she growls, glaring at the lone store clerk, who seems amused and makes no attempt to hide his interest in eavesdropping on the conversation.

“Leigh, I seriously don't know what you're talking about.”

“Just come with me,” she snaps, ushering you back outside, pulling at your arm with a grip that leaves no room for argument. It's painful, the way her nails dig into your skin, but you suppose you deserve it, whatever it might be. If it helps her release her anger, you're willing to bear it.

Leigh stops, plants her hands on her hips, and just looks at you, like she's waiting for something to click in your head. “Leigh, please—” you start, but you're cut off not by her anger this time, but by the sight of her eyes glistening, fighting back tears.

“You're really going to make me say it?” she manages to choke out, before giving a humorless laugh and running a frustrated hand over her face. Before you can protest again, she thrusts a phone into your hand. It's lit up, a text conversation open and waiting. As you scroll through the messages, your mouth opens in shock. They're from Matt. 

Skimming through the texts, your jaw nearly hits the ground. He's recounting your first date, detailing how the night ended with him at your place. He admits nothing happened, but not for a lack of desire. Instead, he confesses he held back because he's still wrestling with the fact that he's married to Leigh. He mentions wanting to make sure when he jumps in with you, he's not dragging any “chains” along.

He goes on, saying he felt you were on the same page, ready to go further, and implies the only reason things didn't heat up was because he had self-control. Reading this, you can't decide if Matt's just showing off or if he's trying to justify his half-steps to whoever's reading this on the other end.

“Whose phone is this?” you blurt out, the only question that registers in your brain. It turns out to be the wrong thing to say, though, as it’s precisely the spark that ignites Leigh's fury, sending it cascading over the edge.

“Don’t fucking change the subject!”

You press your lips into a thin line, your own frustration simmering. “I didn't lie to you, Leigh.” You wave the phone with Matt’s messages like some kind of proof, arguing, “He even says here nothing happened!”

“It's not just about what did or didn't happen!” she fires back, her eyes blazing. “You wanted it to happen. You were ready to go there with him. You wanted more, and you're still not owning up to it.”

At this point, keeping your emotions under wraps isn't an option anymore. 

“Yes! Of course, I wanted to go there with him,” you explode, your hands coming up in the air in surrender. “I found him attractive, thought he was a great guy, and—single, Leigh! I thought he was single when I was falling for him, okay? Are you happy now?”

Leigh's response is to laugh, but it's not a happy sound. It's bitter, mocking, and it just keeps going. 

You're standing there, breathing hard, your breath visible in the chilly air, when it hits you why she’s so upset: When you were telling her the details of your affair, you made it sound as if what happened—or almost happened—was just a casual fling. And Leigh, she just soaked up that version. In doing so, she somehow managed to forgive Matt, forgive you for your role in it, and even toy with the idea of being friends with you.

You made her believe it didn’t mean anything more than what she meant to him. It ripped off the bandage and thrust a knife back into her wound.

After Leigh's laughter fizzles out, the cold seems to bite a little harder, and you notice her shivering—whether from the cold or the tumult of emotions, you can't tell. She's just in shorts and a thin shirt, unprepared for the temperature drop.

Seeing her like this, vulnerable and cold, you feel the urge to just hug her and make her feel a fraction of how badly you regret deceiving her all along. Because saying “I'm sorry” feels way too small for the giant mess of feelings you're dealing with, especially the ones about her that you didn't even realize were piling up until now.

“Leigh,” you whisper, bargaining for something you don’t know.

She meets your gaze, a bit more peace in her eyes now, but that doesn't stop the tears from finally rolling down her cheeks. She's about to speak when suddenly a car pulls up in front of you, its headlights flashing across your faces, momentarily blinding you both.

A man steps out of the car, and Leigh recognizes him immediately. You do too, although it takes you a second longer to realize. Before either of you could react, he's already launching into a tirade. “Leigh, what the hell? Leaving in the middle of the night, stealing my phone—”

“Not now, Danny.”

You freeze, every fiber of your being locking onto the newcomer—because you're almost certain Leigh misspoke. 

His name is not Danny.

It’s Nick.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Oh yay, I love your writing btw!! Could I request Jack Kline discovering that he absolutely LOVES it when reader gives him hickeys?? And after the first time he just keeps asking for them bc he always wants a few on him at all times to remind him of you. Thank you!!!!

Okay first of all anon thank you for the kind words :) so glad you love my writing. And Jack plus hickies hmm.....let's see what we can come up with for this little HC.

Okay so Jack and hickies, let us begin!

At first, and obviously being new to this whole human intimacy, Jack never really understood why he would see some bite marks on people's necks.

Bless him at first he thought they had been attacked by vampires but managed to escape before they took the first bite.

But after going to you, his partner, you explain to him that those are not bites from a monster, but bite marks from their spouses called hickies.

"So hickies are.......a sign of affection?" he questions.

"They can be. Sometimes people like to mark their partners as theirs."

"Like a possession? But I thought humans weren't things?"

"No, well that really depends on the whole kinky thing depending on the relationship. To be honest babe, it gets complicated if I try to explain it. The point is, hickies are just really deep kisses and soft bites people do to their partners as a sign of affection."

"Will you give me one?" he asks after a moment of silence.

"You--you want a hickey?" you ask.

"I'd like to know what they feel like. We love each other, right?"

"Yes, absolutely. Only if you're sure."

"I am. So what do we do first?"

He was ready to get straight to business. It was both funny and kinda cute, especially when he gave you that adorable smile of his.

So you begin with a simple make out session. Cupping his face in your hands before finally separating your lips from his.

You then tilt his neck to the side.

"Now just relax, and enjoy it. But if I'm too rough or it hurts too much, just let me know okay?" you say to him. he nods.

It first begins with you kissing his cheek before slowly going down towards his neck.

You hear him let out a gasp as your lips began their path down his neck before stopping midway down his neck.

His body slightly tenses up so you stop and ask him.

"Should I stop?"

"No!" he says urgently. "No don't stop it--it felt......good."

So you continue. With a few kisses just around the spot before giving him a small bite to his neck.

Suddenly a lightbulb explodes from one of the lamps at Jack's bedside which startles you.

You turn to see Jack's eyes glowing gold.

"Sorry." he apologizes. His eyes turn back to normal and you say.

"It's fine. Just didn't expect that. Should we go on or is it too much?"

"I'm enjoying it. Maybe a bit too much. I'll try to not use my powers, I promise." he says as he brings you back chest to chest.

You resume your position and give him another love bite before lightly sucking on the skin of his neck.

He breathless gasps and soft moans are music to your ears as he even tightens his grip on your waist.

After finishing off with a couple of licks of your tongue to ease the stinging sensation, you separate.

"When do the marks show up? How long do they take to form?" he asks.

"Well that depends. I didn't want to go too extreme but I know there's definitely a bitemark there." you then watch as he goes over to his bathroom mirror and observe his new mark.

And he waits, and waits, and waits.

That boy does not move a muscle from his bathroom. Soon enough you got tired and fell right to sleep on his bed.

"Baby! Baby! Sweetheart wake up! Wake up! It came!" you open your eyes to see Jack turning his neck to you and there you saw it.

A light purple bruise from where you had made his first hickey.

"Yep, there it is babe." you say tiredly.

"I love it. Do you think you can give me another one?" he asks excitedly.

You turn to see it's around 2:45 in the morning.

"I'll give you one when the sun's up, now can I go back to sleep?"

"Right sorry. Sleep my love. And thank you for my new prize." you didn't really hear much after he told you to go to sleep.

After that, Jack proudly shows off his hickeys to everyone and all.

In fact there are times he demands more hickeys even when one side of his neck is completely covered with them.

He gets a bit hickey crazy until you tell him that there needs to be a time for healing before any mote hickies can be given.

Of course he pouts because he just loves showing the world your love for one another.

But he allows his current hickies to heal and will just take the normal make out sessions you guys will do every now and then.

There is one time when he tries to return the favor by giving you a hickey.

But he didn't quite understand how the love bite works and accidentally bit you too hard.

Bless the boy he felt so bad, he first healed you of the bite mark and vowed he'd never do it again while frantically apologizing for his mistake.

You calmed him down and said all was good and that you didn't blame him.

In conclusion, Jack Kline loves receiving hickies from his beloved and will wear them like badges of honor. And he doesn't care who stares or Dean's comments of him being 'whipped'.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Sweet Nothings

Quinn Hughes:

"As the evening sky turns into a velvet blanket of stars, my breath hitches at the sight of your mesmerizing beauty. The moonlight highlights your stunning features, making you glow like an angel. I yearn to explore your curves, tracing them with my fingers and my lips. Every gentle touch ignites a spark of desire, leaving me longing for more."

Jack Hughes:

"You're the sweetest, most irresistible person I've ever met. Your gorgeous smile radiates like the sun, and your eyes are like starlight in the night sky. Your soft touch and warm embrace make me feel safe, and your loving words fill my heart with joy. You complete me, body and soul, and I can't imagine life without your presence by my side. I love you."

Luke Hughes:

"You're all I can think about. You occupy my every thought. Your warmth and kindness are unlike anything I've ever felt before, and I want to keep discovering more about you every day. I want to take care of you and make you happy, and I want you to return the favor. Together, let's create an atmosphere of love, trust, support, and commitment. There's no limit to how special we can make this connection."

Nico Hischier:

"I could gaze into your eyes forever, never tiring of their beauty. The sound of your voice is like music to my ears, making my heart sing. Your tender touch comforts my soul, as we connect on a deeper level. All I want to do is spend time with you, feeling your presence in every minute. Your essence is a sweet balm to my heart, providing much-needed solace in a chaotic world. I am lost in your warm embrace, finding peace and serenity in your arms."

Timo Meier:

"Your soulful eyes lure me in, just like a siren at sea. The scent of the ocean caresses my face, like a warm summer breeze. As we share an intimate glance, I feel a spark of electricity between us. Your touch is like honey to my soul, sending shivers down my spine. All my worries and troubles melt away, as you take me in."

John Marino:

"You are the most captivating person I've ever seen. I could stare at your face for hours and not get bored. Your smile could brighten the darkest of days. Your presence is like a warm embrace, providing a feeling of comfort and joy."

Kirby Dach:

"Your beautiful face, framed by your silky hair and eyes that sparkle with mischief, is like a masterpiece to behold. I can't help but stare, as I take in every inch of your stunning figure. Every curve, every line, and every feature is like poetry to me. As I gaze upon you and drink you in, all thoughts of the world around me vanish. I can only see you, and I feel completely captivated by you."

Juraj Slafkovsky:

"I could stare into your eyes forever, lost in their depths of beauty. Your soft lips beckon me, like a moth to a flame. As we come together, our bodies meld together, as one. Our bodies are intertwined, a dance of love and desire. With each movement, the waves of passion crash upon us, carrying us away into ecstasy."

Arber Xhekaj:

"You are like a warm ray of sunlight on a cold winter’s day. Your love and affection radiate from within, making me feel warm and safe. As we lie in each other’s arms, I feel my heart beating faster and faster. Our bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, fitting perfectly right where they belong. I long for your touch, your love, and your embrace. The world seems to melt away, as we are caught up in the moment. Our bodies connected, our minds intertwined, and our souls bonded."

Cole Caufield:

"Your presence is like a warm blanket, enveloping me with comfort and safety. You make me feel protected and loved, like we're living in our own little world. You have a way of making me feel at peace with the world. My life feels so much better now that you're in it. I want to show you all the affection and love you deserve, and I'm willing to go above and beyond to make you happy. Together we explore new possibilities and create memories that will last a lifetime. There's no limit to what we can achieve together."

Trevor Zegras:

"There's something magical about us. When we're together, it's like we're in our own little world. I feel so safe when I'm in your arms, and no matter what the day holds, I know I can count on you to make me feel loved and appreciated. With you by my side, I could take on anything life throws at us. I'm so glad I found you."

Jamie Drysdale:

"Your smile is as bright as the sun. Your eyes are as mesmerizing as the stars on a clear night sky. Your touch is as soft as a feather, and when we're together, there's no other place I would rather be. I want to cherish every moment with you and make sure to never take our time together for granted. There's nothing else in this world that compares to the feeling of being with you. You complete me."

[etherealsworldvision]

How Can You Form New Connections?

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about Native Hope. They’re a non-profit organization that addresses the injustice done to Native communities in the U.S. and Canada. They share Native stories, provide educational resources, and assist Native communities. If you’d like to make a donation you can click; link.

🚨 P.S.A 🚨 : I do not give personal readings!

Pile 1

Your current energy towards making new connections

[ Messages: Honesty without compassion is cruelty and kindness without honesty is manipulation. Don’t waste a second of your time convincing other people your worth ]

Cards: Queen of Cups; 4 of Cups (Rx); the Magician. Queen of Spades; 7 of Clubs

You feel ready to form new connections but feel wary about people which might hold you back. For some of you; you may have dealt with someone who was mean to you during this connection. This feels like that old connection is recent but like a little long ago so I’d say within six months or so (I could be wrong though). However it seems like it’s not a huge concern any more but it does linger from time to time. I get the sense that the thought and your experience with them contributes to your fomo (fear of missing out). In general though, this feels like you freshly stepped or going into a more confident energy. Like you’re comfortable with meeting people as well as letting people meet you. You’re also approaching new connections slowly and with boundaries. I feel called to say this to someone: “boundaries are not about control, it’s about taking the action to keep ourselves healthy and safe”.

How can you make/new connections

[ Messages: Don’t waste a second of your time convincing other people your worth. You have been hidden for far too long; meet new people, discover new places, learn new things — it’s time to explore and expand your mind. May you honor all that you receive. May you let it be. ]

[ Additional Messages: Dylan’s Place by Hockey Dad, Hell and Back by Bakar, Art, Asking what you want and need in a connection]

Cards: Ten of Swords; Ten of Pentacles; Ace of Wands. 7 of Clubs; King of Spades. Gratitude; Forgive

Okay Pile 1, I get the sense there is an all or nothing trait. I have a feeling some of you are tired of that mentality only because a tiktok popped in mine. There’s this woman who said “I’m done being a ride or die because every time I ride, I’m bleh! Every time I ride it’s bleh, I ride I bleh, I’m tired of ‘dying’.” This mindset is also contributing to ‘I need to know’ about the outcomes. Which hinders you from forming new connections and it turns into quicksand. Your guides are saying “it’s time to trust yourself. Let yourself be free and experience this connection. Whatever you feel, feel and process it; let your emotions help you determine your action in order to tend to the needs of this connection.”

[ Disclaimer: if you are displaying serious mental health issues please seek professional help. ]

I get the sense you may watch ‘their intention’ which is not helping you. If anything it may cause you to be extra cautious. I feel like we get too caught up about other people’s intentions that we have a tendency to forget how we can contribute to our own sufferings. For a second I felt a bit of defensiveness which is okay. Let’s take a breath real quick and get a little comfy again. This isn’t to attack you at all.

It’s okay to be wary because it reminds us to set our boundaries. However if we let that wariness become our impossible, doorless wall then it will only make us more lonely.

Your guides are asking you to trust yourself and to be more open about the possibilities. They also want you to ask yourself ‘why do I want a new connection, is it a transactional or genuine connection?’ I also heard ‘take out: are they serving/benefiting me/them and replace it with: are they/am I being genuine? How do we/I feel about this?’. There’s also articles about transactional vs genuine connection. Remember connections involve two people.

Lastly, another big thing is the sky high expectations you put on yourself. You are not a skyscraper sweetie — you can only take so much you can handle, you’re literally just a human being. There’s also this tendency of being super hard on yourself (especially with a past connection). Your guides are asking you to accept and forgive yourself. To hold yourself with compassion. So that means no more bullying yourself! It’s easier said than done but those self deprecating jokes are hurting yourself. Instead your guides are asking you to explore why you have this high expectation, why do you feel the need to bully yourself when it comes to failure? Why haven't you pat yourself on the back for acknowledging and taking action to better a situation — for leaving?

It takes a strong person to leave an unhealthy connection. Congratulate yourself for taking the first step for putting yourself first. And don’t stop there. Congratulate yourself for taking the initiative for wanting better and more in your life. Congratulate yourself for the person you were, are, and will become. Give yourself the gratitude you give others.

To recap: forgive and congratulate yourself. All of nothing, needing to know the outcome is what’s hindering you from forming new connections.

Pile 2

Your current energy towards making new connections

[Messages: If I am worth everything later I am worth something now; for wheat is wheat even if people think it’s grass in the beginning. It did not kill me and it did not make me stronger, it simply and always will be scorching my heart. It takes time…this blooming, this coming back to your own self. May you express all that you are, may you feel deeply and treasured.

Additional Messages: 333, 22, clown, big d energy, warm tones especially yellows, comedic, beach, skeptical, Australia, (trail)blazers, sponsorship, business savvy, small talks, “More” by 5 seconds of summer, ‘If walls could talk’ by 5 SOS, Colognes, Perfume, trendy, mask, masc (presenting), talkative, flirty, charmer. ]

Cards : The Hermit (Rx); 2 of Cups; Sun. 9 of Diamonds; 10 of Clubs; 2 of Clubs. Wild (Rx), Bliss (Rx)

Your energy is hella funny and big. Like idk how to explain it — you have a celebrity interviewee vibe to you. It’s as if you are an important guest on a talk show. Like you’re ready to go out, have fun, do your thing. Do the next big things because if you’re going to go out why not go out with a bang, right? You might have Leo/Libra/Jupiter placements — especially Leo/Sagittarius mars. It feels like you have been hiding in plain sight. I don’t think you have trouble making new connections; it’s about having trouble forming sentimental connections and (up)keeping them. You may have a tendency to only have interesting small talks and that’s because you’re a damn good conversationalist. Yet there’s this need to have deep talks, it tickles the back of your mind but you quickly dismiss it — shove that box to the ocean but that wave brings it back. You may have a fear of intimacy and commitment issues which lead to internal isolation and loneliness. This might have been recently brought up or you probably stumbled on this reading and thought “well fuuuccckk now that you said it I can’t ignore it.” If you’re going to scroll, that’s fine. It’s a tough convo but when you’re ready to give it a read just know I’m super proud of you.

How can you make/new connections

[ Messages: May you settle gently, even as the wave breaks above. May you be exactly as you are. Keep your heart warm no matter how cold they have been to you. To be loved is to be changed; let yourself enjoy this process.

Additional Messages: Skipping vulnerable talks, speeding through connections, CBT Therapy, The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest, Outer Banks, needing patience, speedy, overindulgence with instant gratification, wanting more out of connection, toxic, singing, 1010, making decisions you’re capable of, 2, gentle, cooperative, harmonious connections, stalling, ‘This Charming Man’ by The Smiths, Steve Lacy. ]

Cards: The Hanged Man (Rx); Ace of Swords (Rx); 10 of Swords (Rx). Jack of Spades; 10 of Hearts. Soothed; Enough.

Okay, so I think you view yourself as the waves on a beach. People love the beach waves and only the beach waves, so that’s the form you’re comfortable taking. Except you’re not just the waves but the entire ocean. You have depth but you’re so used to people enjoying the waves and even if they sail the seas, you’re okay if they just stay afloat. You’re so used to seeing beach viewers, surfers, and cruisers; the ones who are there for a fun time and to admire. They’re the people who you’re so used to seeing and have this belief that they are all you know. You forgot about the scuba divers, marine biologists, and submarines; the ones who are willing to go to the depths and understand who you are. I don’t know why I had to form it this way — but I think this visual may help you think, ‘hey there are more people out there’. You may think of yourself as the ocean or have a huge connection to it.

You have a habit of avoiding confrontation via shutting down, dissociating, downplaying it by using jokes, flat out ignoring them, or being defensive about it. To you, you believe “if I cannot see the problem then they can’t see me”. Meaning: if there is no problem there is no hurt.

There’s this stalling, avoidant habit you had ever since childhood or a very old relationship and I think it’s due to how people overly reacted or ignored you when it came to your needs. So now this habit follows you around out of protection. Your energy kind of reminds me of Trevor from Ghosts (US version) in terms of being a ‘chill’ person but secretly wanting something intimate and sentimental. You may even think intimacy only comes in the form of sex. You might have even thought “why isn’t this working?” That’s a start…but using sex as an act of intimacy is not enough.

I know it’s difficult to hear but intimacy can come in the form of sharing hobbies together, having deep talks, or being in a room just to enjoy each other’s presence. Intimacy comes in many forms. So that leads to the question: what is the value of intimacy and sentimentality to you? What do you find intimate and sentimental? What is your relationship toward intimacy and sentimentality?

I also think the issue is not just about running away from yourself/self-sabotaging, but also the people you surround yourself with. Are your friends/lovers there for only the good/celebratory times? Are your friends/lover only there for the sad/gloomy times? Are they enabling this side of you? You need to ask how they make you truly feel about yourself.

Deep down you know you’re capable of making better decisions — you just need a gentle push. Let this be it. Be a scuba diver and a marine biologist, get to befriend and understand the deepest part of you. Also let other marine biologists/scuba divers understand you. Sure it isn’t perfect; yeah the ocean can cause a tsunami and there are huge storming waves in the midst of the ocean but there are people willing to dive deep.

Let yourself open up and to be understood, it’ll help with the hurt you’re carrying. If you make your walls too high then the hurt will only pile up. Honestly intimacy doesn’t always have to apply with hurt — it’s just basking in each other’s company.

Okay so another thing I recommend is to read articles about Transactional vs Genuine, it’s a good start. I know it’s a process but opening up is a step by step process. Also, let yourself slow down in a connection, there’s no need to rush through it. Let yourself enjoy the person’s company. I’ll leave the reading here, if you made it this far just know that I’m proud of you.

Pile 3

Your current energy towards making new connections

[ Messages: May you dive deep into your passions; May you navigate with purpose. When we are at our lowest, that is when we are ready for change. The essence of community, it’s heart and soul, is the non-monetary exchange of value; things we do share because we care for others and for the good of the place.

Additional Messages: luck, opportunities, clover, 11, 1, 33, 3, 2, 123, calm, gem, hobbies, exposure. expressing your authenticity, hating loud noises, not a fan of loud music, outside limitations ]

Cards: Ace of Pentacles; Ace of Wands; 2 of Cups (Rx). 3 of Spades; 3 of Hearts. Love; Decide

Alrighty Pile 3! I think some of you are from pile 2 so if you are — welcome back lol. The first thing I do notice is: you may be finding new hobbies or rediscovering hobbies. Like there is an investment towards your hobbies and feeling this reconnection to yourself. Another thing you may be going through is making a decision within a connection. I don’t think it’s necessarily romantic but it can be. You may feel conflicted about ending or ‘saving’ it. Or you just feel out of the loop — like you’ve outgrown a connection. Now this doesn’t have to be romantic, a connection can be anything. I think this is my younger pile lol, like I’m getting mid-late teen vibes from some of you. If not, you're just very youthful in terms of energy. There’s also this nostalgia/reminisce of wanting to go back to your fun years. Like think about those posts about “remember 2016 summer?” Yeah…that’s basically it. Okay not to be rude: I feel like this pile is wondering how much they held their self expression back for the sake of having a connection and to feel loved/accepted. I just feel this heavy sense that you weren’t expressing your true self for friendship. I honestly don’t think you communicated these feelings to anyone else either. I think the way you have probably been cooping is by reconnecting with yourself, alone. Which leads you to wonder “how can I meet like minded people?”

How can you make new connections

[ Messages: May it be effortless, May you tend to the sufferings, Don’t waste a second of your time convincing people of your worth, It takes time this blooming, this coming back to your own self.

Additional messages: mellow, tired, sleepy, low noise, low voice, jumpy, not into ruckus, Kim Possible, trapped, sleepless nights, calculating, restlessness, listlessness]

Cards: 4 of Swords (Rx); The Tower (Rx); 8 of Pentacles (Rx). 7 of Clubs; 2 of Clubs. Ease; Compassion.

This is honestly pretty funny because I was so energetic prior to this reading but now I feel low energy. So I think pile 3 is just tired, maybe even drained. I also feel like wanting to take things slow, to process everything. So maybe this is your energy?

I want to start with this restlessness. So you may be thinking about how to gain new friendships/connections. I feel like you join a lot of activities — even ones you hope to like but you know it’s not for you but you just have this hope you’ll grow into it. Sometimes you may also be the wallflower/ghost at the corner in these events, even online.

I think you put so much pressure on yourself to fit in with the crowd. To the point you’re willing to throw yourself into random spaces in hopes of getting along. Which, in turn, eats at your energy. It’s like an introvert pretending to be an extravert. I don’t mean that in a bad way — I just have to be straightforward. You’re aware this isn’t for you but you still try to go along with it, for other people.

Like there’s nothing wrong with who you are — what your interests and hobbies are, what you do in your spare time, whatever the case. You are just a person living your life. You like what you like, that’s fine.

Honestly you really don’t need to do so much. Let the crowd come to you by freely expressing yourself. Your guides are saying to hold compassion for yourself and to be the one who has a say in your connections. There is no need for an elaborate plan, a friendship doesn’t need to start on that. It’s going to feel effortless, fun, exciting! Like one of those friendships where both are like “when were we friends?” And they have the best friendship that’s going strong.

Yes there is commitment and maintenance in connection, however, it shouldn’t be so calculating and draining. I feel that this group’s main thing that can help you out is to be yourself and to let yourself be seen. I know it sounds contradictory. What I mean is: you’re just being you and you happen to post it or someone walks by. They notice and boom you two are talking a lot about that interest. Also don’t forget about what you need in a connection. You have needs and requirements too so don’t be afraid of talking to someone about these things. That’s honestly all I’m getting.

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[casuallyawkardd]

In His Vice Pt II

Pairing: Dark!Miguel O'Hara x Wife!Reader

Summary: Miguel discovers a new world unlike any other in the Spiderverse

Warnings: NSFW MINORS DNI! non con in terms of pretending to be someone else, oral sex, lowkey sub!Miguel?? overstimulation, manipulative vibes, not fluent in Spanish so correct me plzzz

A/N: This one is from Miguel's perspective because apparently I like experimenting with those now. Most chapters are gonna be first person, but this one is kind of for context. Dividers by cafekitsune

PART I | TAGLIST

"Watch! Watch me, okay!?"

"Aye, mija, I'm watching." Gaby laughed as she ran across the field, Miguel following at a slower pace. She was kicking the soccer ball as she went, dribbling just how he had showed her. Stopping, Gabriela rested a foot atop the ball, turning to face her father. It was a sight to behold, headband doing little to keep her flyaways down, cheeks ruddy from running around, brown eyes that matched his dazzled by the golden sun. Miguel smiled, there she was. His little girl. His everything. His Gaby.

"Are you ready, Papi?"

"Yes, for the hundredth time chiquita, I'm ready for your trick." His answer seemed to suffice, Gaby shooting another toothy grin his way before facing the goal. She adjusted her position so the ball was nestled between her legs, ankles gripping the leather tightly. Then she thrust her body forward, performing a handstand and taking the ball with her. Perhaps it was more of a roll, momentum moving her little body forward and throwing the ball towards the goal.

In reality, it wasn't anything special. One of those tricks that to a kid seemed like the most amazing thing ever, but to Miguel was nothing more than a clumsy maneuver. And yet as the ball barely passed the goal line and Gaby looked up at him expectantly, it was the greatest feat he'd ever witnessed. "Did you see that?" Gaby asked, scrambling to her feet to get to him.

"I did," he responded, kneeling so that they were eye level. Miguel waited to finish his thought on purpose, smirking as she waited for his answer with an obvious eagerness. "It was perfect, mi vida."

And that's when the video ended, just like it always did. Crimson eyes stared at the still image, stopped as the two were mid embrace. Miguel was tired, he knew he should probably get some sleep, but there was still work to do. And if he wasn't going to do it, no one would.

"Miguel." No response. "Migueeeeel." Still nothing. "Oh Dark Garfield~"

"What now, Lyla? I'm in the middle of something," he turned his head to look at the hologram sitting on his control panel.

Lyla side-eyed the monitor in front of him, looking back at him with a bored look. "Yeah, I can tell."

"What do you want?" he spoke through gritted teeth, the AI taking her time and adjusting her tinted glasses.

"New universe detected on the border of the arachnopoly-whatever."

"And?"

Lyla smirked, "Why don't you take a look for yourself."

Miguel let out a deep breath through his nose, moving across the platform and pressing a button that showed the map of the multiverse. The room went black, the strings of the universe appearing midair, coming together into a familiar, glowing web. Lyla took control then, various worlds flying past Miguel until settling on the one in question. It seemed like any of the others, its strings a little faded compared to some, but the universe itself seemed intact.

"What exactly am I looking at here?"

"I am so glad you asked," Lyla chirped, pixelating in front of him once again and pacing around the image in question. "I stumbled across this while running a safety check. Yah know, to make sure none of the universes were on the verge of collapse."

"Get to the point."

"Ugh, you're no fun," with a snap of her fingers, Lyla manifested a screen listing the data Miguel was seeking. "At first I thought it was nothing special, your standard other universe with another version of Spider-Man, but the closer I looked I started to realize that-"

"There's no Spider-Man in this universe," Miguel finished, scrolling through the file again to see if he had missed that crucial detail. Brows now knitted together, he lifted his head, "How is that possible? Who's there to defend against the super villains? Vulture, Green Goblin, Venom?"

"They don't exist in this one," Lyla explained, crossing her arms as she examined the notes over his shoulder, most likely not reading any of them. "No villains, no Spider-Man, nothing."

"How is this possible?" It was perplexing to say the least. Sure, Miguel had theorized that there were universes out there, beyond the ones that connected every version of Spider-Man together, but he was precise when designing the multi-dimensional travel devices. Meticulous to make sure the only universes that would connect were directly related to the arachno-humanoid poly multiverse.

"I have a theory..."

"I'm listening," Miguel's eyes narrowed at the AI standing next to him.

Lyla smirked, waving her hands and making everything disappear; the holographic images replaced by screens depicting video footage, which slowly began to pop up throughout the darkness. "I took the liberty of collecting intel for yah, taking the initiative and all that," she bragged, "my guess is this universe happened to have just enough similarities with the other universes to squeak through the cracks. As you can see, it does have some canon events checked off. The creation of Alchemax and Oscorp. The birth of potential spiders such as Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy, Jessica Drew and-"

"Me," Miguel interrupted her rambling, eyes glued to a video of himself, or rather a version of himself, a sense of deja vu washing over him.

"Yep, you too," Lyla agreed before picking up where she left off. "Like I was saying, this universe seems to have had a few canon events, but none of the core canon events that follow the Spider-Man timeline. No being bitten by a radioactive spider, no dead uncle or experiments gone wrong that could lead to super villain creation. I've been running scans on repeat and there still hasn't been any alerts regarding the creation of a Spider-Man or-"

"That'll be all, Lyla," Miguel dismissed the hologram, who went quiet. He didn't see, but she was eyeing him skeptically, as if trying to read his mind. Watching for something that wasn't there before blipping out of existence and leaving Miguel alone. His hands went to his hips, jaw clenched in concentration as he merely observed. No harm in watching afterall.

Video after video of his life in another universe, one where everything seemed to go right. The Miguel in this universe was lucky, he still kept in touch with his mother and brother, got a boss who wasn't a power hungry piece of shit, a version of him that didn't have to alternate his DNA to shake off an addiction. In fact, he was pretty sure Rapture didn't exist in this universe.

And then he saw her. The Gaby in this universe was younger than the one he knew, but he'd recognize her anywhere. Video after video played of the two of them together, a desire he thought was buried clawing to the surface. The memory of all that had gone wrong before pulled him back to himself, sighing heavily as he cut the footage and returned things to how they were. Miguel distracted himself with his work, much like he usually did. Compartmentalize and put away, just how he'd taught himself to do.

It is a possibility, isn't it? The thought hooked into his skull. This universe is unlike any other we've come across. Could it have other exceptions? It was futile to rely on 'what ifs', Miguel knew that all too well. Putting the lives of millions at risk, all for his own selfish benefit, that wasn't a possibility. And yet his fingers were already moving, typing commands into Lyla's system to collect as much data as she could on this new earth. His downtime was spent going over the footage, reading every new development and discovery.

Curiosity grew to be obsession. Suddenly this universe wouldn't be like the last one. He'd thought through every potential outcome, every way that something could grow wrong. The collapse of the universe? Unlikely. The past was due to an oversight, tampering with the canon too much leading to destruction. What about the Miguel that originally came from this universe? If he was like the others, he'd probably be dead soon anyway, a potential threat to his plan, but one he could worry about if a problem arose.

Pieces were falling into place, Gaby's sweet giggles a siren song as he listened to them over and over and over again. This time will be different, he reminded himself, he was prepared this time. Knew the risks. It had to work, the plan was already set in motion. It would work.

Miguel took his time to prep, partly so he could be ready for anything and also to wait and see what would unfold. Based on what he saw of this universe, squeezing himself into this Miguel's life could be easier than he had anticipated. Being a version of himself meant that he too came with flaws, ones that Miguel knew intimately. A workaholic who thrived on routine, Miguel could work with that. Routine meant he was predictable. Predictability meant vulnerability. An opening he could exploit.

His research merely helped with deciding when and how to insert himself. The footage was his primary source of information, making it so Miguel was able to put faces to names, flesh out relationships and dynamics, figure out where he needed to start so that he could make it better.

Taking the place of himself wasn't foreign to him, confident he could do it again, if not better than the first time he'd done it. What he didn't expect this time around was the hassle of cleaning and covering his tracks. The switch had to be seamless, no witnesses and no trace of what had occurred in the dark of the night. That was why he was in such a bad mood when he finally got to the house. He had brought a change of clothes, something clean to cover the mess, but he hadn't considered the oncoming storm. The shoes he wore were wet, caked with mud and stained as he struggled to take them off in the entryway. He was planning how he wanted to get rid of them when-

"Miguel?"

His body stiffened, slowly standing upright as he looked for the source of the voice. He had almost forgotten about the wife, remembering her face from the videos. So much smaller in person, he could hear how fast her heart was beating as he drew near, see a nervous sweat as it started at her temple and worked its way down. Miguel was short with her, their conversation only preventing him from reaching what he sought. His eyes only briefly acknowledged the direction she pointed in before he continued on his path.

Gaby was a breath of fresh air, one that made all the pain and frustration of today and the ones before worth it. There was no way she knew how much he loved her, the lengths he would go to to be where he sat now. His hand reached out, hesitantly cupping the side of her face while she slept. There was so much he wanted to do in this moment, so much he had to say. Things that told her how happy he was to see her and things that she wouldn't be able to understand. And yet she was precious, sound asleep and unaware of the thunder and wind outside, he wouldn't dare wake her.

The illusion of solitude was ruined as light footsteps pattered down the hallway. Miguel's teeth grinded together in frustration, knowing to whom they belonged to. At least she didn't come in, didn't usurp this moment between father and daughter. He had run through countless different scenarios of what he could do with her. Divorce would be what most would do, but that would lead to complications. Custody battles and court appearances that he didn't have time for nor the energy to deal with. Killing her had crossed his mind, sitting in his brain for longer than he'd care to admit. Even just taking Gaby had potential, for there were places he could go that neither her nor any authorities could follow.

But none of that would work. Gabriela loved her father and her mother. Separating them in any way would upset her and he couldn't have that. So for now, he'd stick to the plan he had conjured. Taking over as this earth's Miguel was the easy part, maintaining it wasn't going to be so simple.

The first night was spent memorizing the layout of the house, fingers gliding along the walls as if to remind himself this was real. That the rooms, and everything in them that he'd been seeing on the monitors, was within his reach. The details would come with time, things like where they kept the silverware and what clothes belonged to which drawers, but for now he had time to prep. Tomorrow would be his first real day in this world and everything had to be perfect.

Miguel was accustomed to sleepless nights, the thought of a quick dose of caffeine being what got him through helping get Gaby ready for the day. She was better awake than she was asleep, lively and all smiles as she talked his ear off about trivial matters. She mentioned 'craving' pancakes, actually using the term and he complimented her on her extensive vocabulary. That first hour where it was just the two of them made him feel as though he was floating. A dream that was almost too real, except he knew he didn't have to wake up. That is until the wife had made yet another inconvenient appearance.

At least she's pretty, was the thought that crossed his mind, now that the light of day revealed her features better. It had been some time since Miguel had paid a woman any mind and yet here he was, married to a complete stranger. She had gentle features, something he wasn't familiar with seeing. Miguel had spent years fighting villains, whose faces were twisted and ugly, scarred and wrinkled to reflect their vile nature. Even the other spiders had their own flaws, drooping eyes and dark circles, beaten down by hard lives and the weight of responsibility. And yet this woman's blemishes consisted of faded acne scars and the beginnings of smile lines. Hair messy because she had the audacity of getting a full night's rest.

He gained a good understanding of her on his first day. The wife of a negligent husband, she was headstrong. Independent in her decision making and the one to take control during the day's activities. Deciding where to stop for lunch, what beach to spend the afternoon at and which movie to end the night on. It was an admirable quality, some he'd seen many lack, stepping up to the plate as a mother and wife instead of admitting defeat and crying 'woe is me' because her husband would rather work overtime than fuck her.

And a good mother she was, much to his chagrin, attentive to Gaby's needs and simultaneously putting her foot down when needed. There were traits he could use to his benefit, while others he'd have to teach out of her. The day could come where she might suspect him, seeing as she didn't seem like an idiot either, meaning he had to have her under his thumb before then. For now, he'd sit idle and gather more information over the weekend. Take what he learned and begin work in the following week.

Gaining her trust was the first step, play the role of the good husband she thought she deserved. The other Miguel's routine was hers as well, certain expectations in place. Mornings were hectic, his wife moving as though she had a million things to do at once. She'd almost run into him as he stepped into the kitchen, frustration briefly appearing on her face before she soothed it away, the transition so smooth it seemed practiced.

"Miguel, I need you to make your own breakfast this morning, I still have to get Gaby ready and-"

"I already did that."

A pause, her body still in the doorway, watching as he poured himself some coffee, nonchalant in his movements. "Oh, well then I guess that just leaves the lunches..."

"I got them put together last night."

"Oh." That simple syllable was his signal that things were going according to plan. A sound that was a mix of surprise and satisfaction, not expecting him to lend a helping hand and content when he did. At least in terms of the little things.

That's something her Miguel lacked, always focusing on the big picture and overlooking the minute details. But he thrived on noticing what most didn't, whether it be adjusting a tiny wire in one of his gizmos or leaving a glass of water on her nightstand; she'd always get up in the middle of the night for a glass of water. Twelve twenty-seven to be exact. And it had to be cold, which was why he made sure to add ice beforehand.

She was hesitant to the changes, at least at first. Waiting for the day he'd slip back into how her Miguel would act, he'd always have to be two steps ahead of her if he wanted to do any simple favors. He found himself actually enjoying the little game forming between them, a challenge to see who could do better than the other.

Then he started to think he was getting too good at playing the part of husband. Her eyes lingered longer than he liked, hands holding instead of brushing against his hands and body. It was torturous in a way, having to endure her intimate touching and kissing when, in his eyes, they had only met a couple weeks ago. But it came with the role he had thrust upon himself, the incentive of Gaby keeping him from snapping his new wife in two.

He knew it was a matter of time until she'd want more than half hearted kisses, her desires coming to fruition late one night. Miguel took his time getting ready for bed, brushing his teeth until he was convinced his gums were bleeding and that the bristles of the brush would be forever bent. Her scent was evident, already aroused and pretending not to be as she flipped through her book. It was a sweet smell, tempting even, and that's what pissed him off even more. He was here for Gaby, to be the father he deserved to be. And Miguel was not one to divert from a plan.

"Miguelito," she said his name so sweetly, book tossed aside as he got into bed. Her hands unreasonably soft against his bare chest, face coming close to his. She leaned in to kiss him, but Miguel turned away at the last second, her lips ghosting against the side of his face. He caught himself before he did it again, allowing her to turn his head back and kiss him; let her tongue glide against his lips, parting them as she deepened the kiss.

Her body shifted, straddling his lap and rubbing herself against him. His sweatpants did nothing to protect him from the warmth of her sex, Miguel softly gasping against her lips. His hands grasped her hips, stilling them and she smiled against his skin. She was teasing and he was more than aware of it, the thought of her having the upper hand making his blood boil in more ways than one.

"Baby, I..." she trailed off, clearly conflicted. Some inner turmoil he was supposed to know, but had yet to understand. Settling on a small smile, she pecked him on the tip of his nose, "I've missed you."

Miguel almost scoffed, as if it were an inside joke only he was in on. He knew she didn't miss him. She had no idea that the man in her bed, the one she was kissing along the torso of, untying the sweatpants and nudging them out of the way of, was not her husband. And yet every touch made his skin feel like it was on fire, a heat that made his head hazy. She took his cock well in her mouth, as if having done it countless times before. It was bliss, warm and wet, her tongue gliding along the vein that made his eyes roll back into his skull.

The thoughts he managed to create were interrupted with every suck and bob of her head, hips bucking instinctively and groaning in frustration when her hands pinned them down. A low growl rumbled in his chest, a large hand gripping her hair and lifting her head. A loud pop resounded in their bedroom, Miguel taking in the sight of her. Eyes half-lidded, face flushed and mouth agape; she was breathing heavy, her tongue sticking out teasingly to poke at the slit on the head of his cock.

Reluctantly, at least that's what he told himself, Miguel's grip slowly loosened, allowing her to sink down onto his shaft once again. His hands found purchase in the bedsheets, gripping them tightly as she continued to fuck him with her mouth, pushing him closer and closer to the brink until he could bear it no longer.

"Stop, I'm gonna-" but she relented, sinking down until he could feel her throat clench around his girth. A strangled moan escaped him, muscles tensing as she swallowed every drop of his cum. The arrogant look on her face when she finally sat upright had a new kind of anger seething in his chest. Bested in a way that made him vulnerable, all while she smugly wiped away any excess with a dainty thumb.

His fingers wrapped around her throat, pulling her to him and wiping the confidence from her face. "Lie the fuck down," he demanded, voice low and slow so she understood him clearly. She complied, limbs remembering how to move as they switched places; Miguel hovering over her as she rested back against the pillows. One hand held him up while the other trailed up her thigh, hiking up her night shirt and exposing her to his hungry eyes. "Maldita puta," Miguel scoffed at the sight of her lack of underwear, pussy exposed and her scent invading his nostrils.

Confidence overshadowed uncertainty, Miguel knowing that he may not have tasted her before, but that the version of Miguel in this universe wouldn't hold a candle to him. Her moans were the evidence, starting soft and growing until she had to keep herself quiet. "You don't want to wake up Gaby, right putita?" he mocked her, returning the treatment she gave him tenfold.

Her slick made him salivate, fluids combining into an intoxicating concoction on his tongue. It made him want more, delving in as deep as he could and suckling her bud when he wanted more. Miguel took his time, enjoying how she squirmed; thrilled at how little effort it took to keep her just where he wanted.

When he felt her thighs beginning to tremble, he knew she was close. Miguel only delved deeper, not just licking and pressing, but nipping and sucking at her most intimate place. Her moans became high pitched, body shuddering beneath his as Miguel indulged in her release. When he came up for air, he enjoyed seeing how her chest heaved with every breath, a thin layer of sweat on her skin that made her look as though she were glowing.

And yet he wasn't done, smirking against her mound before slowly licking a line up her slit, a warning that there was still more to come. "Baby, please-" her protests died on her tongue as he didn't just eat, but devoured every inch of her cunt. His thumb came to massage her now sensitive bud, while his tongue teased her folds.

Her hips bucked up against him, Miguel's large hand splaying across her stomach to keep her still. Her squirming didn't deter him, in fact making him double his efforts. Miguel felt his own arousal resurge, grinding himself against the silk sheets. Her second orgasm came quicker than the first, Miguel smirking against her skin when she shuddered and moaned.

With that, Miguel decided to give her a moment of peace, sitting upright on his knees to hover over her. His new wife was a mess, gasping for breath and fighting to keep her eyes open. It stirred something inside him, a feeling he hadn't paid mind to in a long time.

"C'mon now, princesa," he cooed in a sickly sweet tone, hooking her thighs with his arms and dragging her forward; their hips now flush against one another. His smirk only widened when he felt her jump upon contact with his hardened length, twisting his expression into one of mock innocence. "This is just the beginning."

Tags:

@lazy-idate @lilly5799 @yougavemeyourheartyouknow @candlewitch-cryptic @thel0v3hashira143 @a-lost-soul @spectr3inl0ve @leftcollectiongardener @slodr4wzstuff @miyababbby

[jqmalikhsgib]

astrology

one

in most stories being the youngest kid means being the sheltered child. everyone would see the baby of the family being favored more than the eldest or middle child. for you, it wasn’t ever like that.

you grew up in an classic middle class family. your mother was a nurse and your father was a detective. your older brother followed in his fathers footsteps. he went to college, worked his ass off, and became an officer.

your sister went a bit of a different route. she decided to be a lawyer. she was damn good at it too.

you on the other hand, you had different dreams. you never wanted to be cooped up in a bubble. your dreams were to travel the world, draw the most beautiful sights you’ve ever seen, meet new people, discover yourself.

when you graduated high school you saved up enough money over the years to do so. you took different jobs just to pay bills and continue to move along.

your parents never thought it was a great idea. they’d always scold you to go to college. they’d get your siblings along in it but it just never worked. you loved your free spirited life style.

you visited your family every once in a while. but after ten years of being free, ten years of constantly hearing the same things over and over, ten years of nonstop get bugged over when you’re gonna grow up and turn your life around, you were tired.

you stopped going to every christmas, every thanksgiving, every birthday, any holiday. you’d come up with some excuse. telling your family you had a shift at whatever job you had.

truth was, you needed to be away. your family back home may not have understood. besides your best friend, you didn’t really keep in contact with anyone.

spencer was the only one who stood beside you. he knew that you had other dreams and aspirations. he never judged you for drifting off and exploring the world. he was the one to encourage you.

“yn, remember what you told me when i had a hard time deciding to skip a few grades? you said that if i didn’t, id always wonder. you told me im too smart to be in seventh grade and i needed to get off my ass and go show those high school idiots how smart i truly am. you’re an amazing artist, yn! i know you can make a name for yourself.”

that was the only thing you needed to hear before you packed your bags, bought a plane ticket, and began your journey. you never regret your decision.

it’s why you’re so glad to be in virginia. getting to see spencer again made you happy. you haven’t seen your best friends since he made it into the behavioral analysis program. you knew spencer was beyond smart. knowing that he was working with the smartest people, fighting crime, and kicking ass, made you proud.

you smile at the guard up front. “hi, im here to see doctor spencer reid.”

the guard asked for a form of identification before smiling and giving you a visitors badge. spencer made sure to let them know you’d be coming by.

when you finally got to his floor your eyes widened with how big it truly was. you never thought you’d ever be here. standing in front of a team full of people who study human behavior.

“yn!?” spencer runs to his friend.

“woah, slow down there pretty boy.”

you opens your arms wide as spencer lifts you up and spins you around. you giggled before he sets you down.

“hi, genius!”

“god, i miss you.”

“miss you too bud. this place is incredible, spence. how do you guys get any work around here done. i wouldn’t know how to sit still.”

spencer just shrugs as he walks the two of you over to his desk. you spot two individuals.

one of them was a woman. she was beautiful. her dark locks were slowly fading to grey, but she definitely rocked it.

the other was a tall, muscular build man. he had a cocky smirk on his face. he was definitely handsome. you can tell he’s a bit of a player but ultimately a sweetheart.

“well pretty boy, you gonna introduce us?”

spencer smiles. “guys, this is my best friend since diapers, yn! yn thats emily and derek.”

you gently waved.

“hi. it’s nice to finally meet you. spencer talks bout you guys all the time. im glad he has someone else to bug besides me.” you playfully hit his arm.

“you must be someone special. reid doesn’t hug anyone. says—”

“it’s safer to kiss? he’s been saying that since we were children. i think he came up with that when he had a crush on our next door neighbor, dawn.”

“hey! it’s an actual fact!” spencer defends.

you playfully roll your eyes. “when are you off, butthead? i wanna look at places while im here.”

“im off this weekend.”

“you’re moving down here?!”

“yeah. spencer constantly tells me how great this place is. it’s gotta be better than nevada if it’s got spencer’s vote of approval.”

“it is a great state. you’ll love it. if you need help finding something im sure i could be of service.”derek flirts.

“thanks. i should probably let you all get back to work. ill—”

“we have a case!” you get interrupted. you slowly lift your head and your heart skips a beat.

he stares at you with a scowl on his face. you assumed it was a permanent one. he was tall, had a beautiful head of hair, his face was clean shaven, his suit was definitely dry cleaned. he looked like a man you’d see in a fairytale. like how you’d imagine prince eric from the little mermaid to look. he was breathtaking.

“i’ll probably be gone for a few days. will you be okays exploring the city without me?” spencer breaks you out of your trance.

“um—yeah. just be safe. and call me!”

spencer smiles as he squeezes your arm before walking away. you give your heart a second to go back to normal speed.

you think you’re gonna love it here.

so, yes it’s an age gap between them. listen, im not gonna be like some people and say i have a huge problem with age gaps, because i do not!

yes, at times it can be gross. when someone is freshly eighteen and dating someone in their mid to late twenties or older, it’s gross

if someone knew the person when they were a child and begin dating them. even if they’re in their twenties, it’s gross

but as someone who’s 25 and has only dated men older since i was like 22, i don’t see much of a problem as long as they were two consenting adults.

that being said, read it if you want and if you don’t, scroll past it.

reader is 28

aaron is 44

[unamused-boss]

Take out Night

Billy Hargrove x Fem oc Hello! Just before we begin this is a fic that will introduce another Oc that I have created. A Billy x Oc to be more precise. I have seen so many other creators, some whom I am mutuals with, make amazing oc. And I wanted to jump on the train with it. Plus I really want Billy to have a weird gf! So I have made a character for Billy hargrove and I hope you like her.

It was all strange when the two first got together. If you mean the Cali boy going after probably the weirdest hot girl in town then you'd be correct. Because that is what happened when Billy Hargrove asked out, and is still going out with, Phoebe Brown.

Yep, Hawkin's local weirdo. Has been seen walking bare foot within the woods. Constantly seeming like she has consumed an intense amount of drugs even though she doesn't even drink or smoke. Claiming it ruins the soul of the body. Her dark brown hair always done up in a new style. Along with her clothes matching her presence, comfortable.

It was a month long gossip train as to why Billy would ask out such a peculiar girl. Many of Billy's, so called, friends said it was because he lost a bet or was looking for something easy. But what the masses do not know it took Billy a whole month before Phoebe even said yes to a date. Billy claimed he has never liked Hawkin's heifers, as much as Phoebe has told him to stop calling them that, he wanted something he thought would bring him excitement. So when he laid eyes on Phoebe Brown, he knew it was her.

Well to get that out of the way with all the sentimental shit that we will get into later. Lets focus on where our couple is at presently. It is the middle of December for Hawkins with a blissful, not to Billy, cold outside. And in front of a little chinese food restaurant sat a charged blue camaro where our couple sits. It is just another of their many at home date nights tonight. Let's see where the night will take them.

“Do you have to do this every time?” Billy asked his girlfriend. Who at the moment has her nose deep within a menu of said Chinese restaurant. 

“Yes, what if I wanna try something new?” Phoebe said back to him, still with her face in the pamphlet of the menu. 

“Babe there is no doubt in my mind that you have not eaten the whole menu since we have discovered this restaurant.” Billy reasoned with her. “Can we please order the food so we can go back to your house”

Phoebe faced him with a smile gracing her face. “You know, for such a big strong guy, you can be very soft and cute.” The statement flusters Billy, she knows this. But he will always keep his tough guy act up till they get home. So in response to his girlfriend's statement, he turned his head away from her. Which did not help because she could see his ears turning red which meant he was blushing. Phoebe just giggled at him, “Get out of the damn car.” Was all he said to her, but not with any mean intent behind it. So that is what you did. You both got out of the car to make your way in to order your dinner for the night.

“Hey Billy, Hey Phoebe” The cashier greeted, “What can I get ya?”

“We’ll get the spicy chicken combo and spring rolls to go with it.” Billy answered to the cashier. 

“We will also take the Lo mien and crab rangoons.” Phoebe added on with confidence.

“Um, who paid?” Billy sassed to her.

“Um, who’s job is it to pay?” She simply sassed back. “I also paid for your gas, be a good boyfriend and pay for your girlfriend's dinner.” Billy just rolled his eyes to her.

“Alright coming right up.” That was all that needed to be said for the two to take their seats in front of the window to wait on their food.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Phoebe asked.

“Okay, hit me.” Billy said thinking it was gonna be a challenge.

“Why did you ask me out?” She asked simply.

Billy was silent for a minute. “This isn’t a trap is it? Last time this happened my tire got slashed.” Billy panicked.

“No it’s not… I just- I just think there is someone more suited for you than me.” Phoebe admitted.

“What like some cow on the cheer team?” Billy said very aggressively.

“Billy- I’m serious.”

“The reason I asked you out was because you were different from every other girl I have ever dated.” Billy told her, looking into her honey colored eyes.

“But-”

“I don’t wanna hear it.” He stopped her. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and if I had to go another month of chasing you around to simply look in my direction then I will. I know I’m not the best guy, but you have made me realize that I will do whatever it takes for us to stay together.” Billy’s eyes softened as he looked at her. Phoebe's once tired looking eyes became wide while staring at Billy as he spoke. No guy has ever said something like that to her. Yeah, she knows she’s weirded Billy out before but he still stayed with her.

“Billy” She spoke softly, a smile making its way onto her face. He smiled back at her, taking her hand into his on the table. 

“Order 37!” Was shouted out, to which brought the couple out of their trance.

Once the food was picked up. The couple made their way to the camaro to go home. The drive was silent, it was warm and comfortable. Just the quiet tone of one of Billy’s rock tapes playing from the window. As Phoebe was looking out the window to the dark outside of the night. She saw the glimmer of snow, she gasped as her eyes lit up. Even though it had snowed for the past few weeks, with every new snowfall Phoebe got excited. She loved the cold weather unlike her boyfriend. Billy heard her small gasp from beside him; he made a small glance over to her to see she was staring out the window. He just smiled at her expression, he couldn’t have asked for anyone better. The couple usually didn’t express too much emotion in front of others, not too heavy on pda other than a quickie in the janitor's closet. But the nights such as these were Billy could get away from his house to go home with her. To spend the night cuddling and watching trash movies they can make fun of. It was pure bliss for Billy, He loved it  He loved her.

The car came to a stop in Phoebe’s driveway. With her parents out of the house for the next few days that meant more time with Billy, and being able to eat in the living room. The food was set out on the coffee table, blankets were prepped, movies prepped to be watched, and Billy’s side ready for Phoebe to cuddle into. The chosen pick from the Family Video  tonight were American Ninja, obviously Billy, and Smooth Talk, clearly picked out by Phoebe, the two had very distinct tastes. The two watched and ate with glee for being in the other mere presence. In the middle of one of the movies Billy pauses it out of nowhere.

“Heey?” Phoebe said in confusion to his action.

Billy turned to her, now her side is cold. “Why did you ask me that question at the restaurant tonight?” Billy was curious. He wanted to make sure no one said anything to her and so she wasn’t in her head.

“I just- I just started thinking about the types of girls you went after before you got with me.” She said, “And I felt like I was a downgrade.” Hearing this broke his heart. “ I’m noy like Tammy, Tina, or Nancy… It's stupid but I can’t help but feel insecure sometimes. You were told about me from people that judged me and still chose me after everything. I just don’t get it sometimes.”

“Like I said before, you are unlike any girl I have ever been with, and I love it. I love you.” Billy said.

“You said the L word.” Phoebe giggled at him. Billy’s smile broke out after you said that.

“What are you gonna punish me?” He teased. In response Phoebe places her soft lips onto Hargroves. It felt like a puzzle being completed when they kissed. Phoebe became more forward and started to slowly push Billy back until he was on his back while she was sitting on him still kissing on her couch. The kiss slowed and the two started to pull away. Looking at one another for a moment. Until a sly smirk appeared on Billy’s face.

“I should say the L word more often if that’s my punishment.” He flirted. Phoebe just laughed at him then pulled him up right to continue where they left off. In the movie obviously. Billy played the movie and Phoebe snuggled back into his side.

“Just so you know.” Phoebe started. “I love you too.” Billy smiled and kissed the top of her head. The night was perfect, as always.

Hope you enjoyed! Like always if you have feed back I would love to hear it.

if you wanna see anything specifically with Billy and Phoebe just request or comment.

Thank you, love ya bookies!

[rangercorpstherapy]

To the latest fandom take:

I strongly disagree with the take "new posts are cringe and low effort". Brother (gender neutral), trust me, you shaming them is so embarrassing. Let people enjoy what they want to enjoy. You're not held down by chains with your eyes forcefully open to look at those posts. Just scroll past or block accounts you don't like. Instead of being joyful about new people joining in, you chose to be bitter about what they post. We were all at that age. Stop picking on younger teens. Hell, it isn't about age. Every post, as long as it is not harmful, is valid and as long as its author enjoys it and enjoys sharing, don't stomp on it. That way, we'll get less and less posts. So what that people keep posting headcanons or essays that are "obvious" or were here before? Those people weren't here before. Let them DISCOVER the wonderful RA world for themselves and share that excitement. And if those posts don't satisfy? WRITE YOUR OWN. Thank you, cheff.

However, what I want to draw attention to (now speaking to everyone), is the remark about fanartists. I know some that left or stopped actively creating for the reason that they felt not appreciated. It goes deeper than that. In the world built on capitalism and consumerism, amateur artists (who are also human beings who seek assurance and positive encouraging feedback) and who come to fandom to share their free artwork for fun and for interaction that gives them motivation to go on, are not some machines that come automatically giving content. Consuming their art and using it without even interacting, especially in this small fandom, can feel draining and this is not what the fanartists came here to do. If you look at it through their eyes, would you continue to do art if you felt it hasn't found its audience or if the audience felt passive about it? You do not have to like some art work. I get it, we all have our own taste. But if you do not support artists, especially beginning ones, it's really easy to lose the motivation. And you're robbing yourself. Imagine some artist who would have become great and eventually posted the art you like, is not sharing their art because they didn't feel motivated.

In conclusion. OP of the prev fandom take, I definitely do not agree with your opinion on ra tag and posts. I also don't like the tone in which you wrote your whole ask. But, everyone, I do believe there's a tiny thing that's worth giving a thought in the part about fanart.

All I see lately is people complaining there aren't good posts or that fandom is dying. Babes, if you're not gonna interact with things, either posts or art or fics or whatever, of course the activity is gonna die down. But also I do think that on the other hand, people who say stuff like "we don't have content anymore are the ones who purposefully ignore posts of the newer blogs just because it isn't entirely their taste and then say this fandom is desolated wasteland about to be hit by dinosaur killing meteorite. Valid, you don't have to reblog stuff that you don't want to. But then stop complaining about that fact there isn't stuff and either shut up and move on or contribute yourself.

Pessimism and toxicity isn't what this fandom needs and to be real I am tired of these fandom takes that what is actually bringing this fandom down. Complaints and call outs to toxic and harmful behaviour is valid and shouldn't be suppressed and please, everyone don't ever be afraid to do that. But these shaming takes and asks, is like chasing and biting your own tail and then complaining it hurts. I'd really appreciate it if some of you could refrain from shaming people who harmlessly enjoy stuff. Bye.

x

[eulchu]

ok guys. let's have a real talk. let's ALL have a real talk and i don't mean just me and my anons . i hope this reaches all of our community even if you think i fucking suck.

fucking october didn't ruin us but i am so worried that this dumb tension just might. this is getting so ridiculous and out of hand -i barely understand what's going on myself. so im gonna need everyone to work together and do a collective reflection exercise.

i am gonna write out a series of points that i need u guys to think about before proceeding in this community:

- active blogs. you're burnt out. you're burnt out and you're so tired of trying to keep this community running that you're denying yourself a moment to feel your own frustrations as your own individual person. i get that . i get being under so much pressure that you can't catch yourself some slack, least you spiral out of control <- this is, however, really damn unhealthy 😭 it's ok to let yourself feel some disappointment!! some anger!! that's fine. it's up to you, however, what you do with it. this brings us to our next point.

- we NEED to acknowledge this if we wanna get better. ifl it's taboo and we're pushing the narrative so hard we're not giving ourselves enough space to breathe. it. is. okay. to. feel. disappointed. over. the. lack. of. dteam. content. i am the first person to shut down any self entilted prick who thinks they can expect something out of them. because they DON'T owe us anything. but truth is we are humans and, accordingly so, feel in consequence of our own expectations. i wanna break this part down in a few points:

it is OKAY to acknowledge that we are disappointed. denying one self's feelings never ended up ok for anyone. it is okay to acknowledge that we are not getting the content we were hoping for.

it is NOT okay to blame the dteam for it. this is where it gets tricky. the dteam are in charge of what type of content they put out. it will never be in our hands. at that point, if you don't like what they're doing. leave. i'm sorry. it's harsh. i'm not trying to be mean about it. i'd understand if you left! it's ok!

- before you leave, though, i want to ask you a question. why do dislike what they're doing so much? seriously, ask yourself that question. is the content that bad, in your eyes? if the answer is yes, i can't help you there. you've grown out of their content. there's no way around it.

- but is it actually bad, or is it just Not What You Expected? In which case, let's talk. Let's put things bluntly:

the dteam have waited years to be together. correct

upon living together, we have discovered that they are not very good at providing content because they put their friendship above content. i'm not sure if anyone had that in their bingo cards - but it's what happened. autumn was really rough on them & they've learnt to exist together off camera. me personally, i think it's sweet.

dteam and traveling: a fall out? :o . no. jesus christ 😭 the fact that this is the new narrative nauseates me. i don't think anyone in their right mind thinks that dteam are less close than they were when they were living apart.

Bringing back our initial point, the failure to meet our expectations can be mentally challenging. it will inevitably make us second guess a lot of associated ideas that we thought were true . if one of our expectations fails to be met, that's a fail in our mental plan. if we were wrong about this, who's to say we are right about anything else?

i'm not sure if there's some sort of denial of feelings here or if people are trying really hard not to think about this possibility because it makes them scared. i am inviting you to take a moment to really think about it and feel the initial dread of the question. it will pass fairly quickly.

the truth is that the dteam is FINE. they're fine, they share a house, they film videos together, and they go on these long ass hiatus when they're together because they would much rather spend uncesored time off-line.

my favorite point: for how parasocial we are, we don't give them nearly enough credit. the dteam are adult men. we have to put faith in their decisions. only they know what they're doing. they know what's best for them. we certainly don't.

- i wanna rescue this last point. their decisions are THEIRS. if we don't put trust in what they're doing, we're already failing the game. that means who they hang out with too. i get not liking someone ok? i get it. i don't like a lot of people either. no one is pointing a gun to any of their heads. if you think that any of them is doing something that you don't see fit you have problems and you need to grow up. it is not our place to dictate their lives and it will never be. that goes for the white-knighting too.

⚠️(this is a completely hypothetical scenario)⚠️

the truth is if tomorrow george decides to go back to the uk, for whatever reason. we would all have to fucking shut it. fan disappointment? yes. acting like george is an awful person for betraying his best friends? you're out of your fucking mind.

dream george and sapnap are grown up people with a strong friendship and communication skills. if you think that george would take the unilateral decision and not tell anyone until the day before you need to seek help. whatever decision the dteam take about their lives it's THEIRS and you need to put some fawking faith in what they're doing. they know what's up.

that goes for the fucking karl problem too okay? i don't like it either. whatever. it's not my place though?? dream isn't a baby who's been abandoned he's a grown ass man who knows what he's doing and if he still considers (if they ALL do) karl his friend that's his decision. if he thinks that karl's friendship management is fine that's his decision. we are not dream's friends nor his fucking therapist.

- the thing about dooming and content. the multishippers: is the dteam all there really is? i firmly believe that we all kove the dteam outside of each other. (mostly tackled in this post)

- dnf and the fandom. jesus christ i can't believe i have to make a point about this. i think it's important to remember that at the end of the day. it's just Not That Serious. it was never meant to be that serious. bringing back the "they're their own people" point, what the Fuck do some people think they're doing 🧍‍♂️

dnf know what they're doing they know the nature of their relationship better than we ever will. if they're just friends it's because they chose to if they . in the biggest plot of the century . come out of this with a s/o it doesn't mean they're cheating on each other, that dream/george was leading anyone on or that they're hurting each other???? are you CRAZY 😭 if they're dating they're dating if they're not they're fucking not but they're. not gonna be sad about it??? they're adult people in an adult relationship they know what tf they're doing. they hold each other's hearts impossibility close to themselves. there's nothing they would ever do that could hurt each other.

to wrap things up: after this reddit worthy post (congrats if you've made it to the end) i have something very important to ask of you guys.

i know it might be unfair but can we all compromise on detoxxing. completely. for like, a week. not posting neg at ALL. we can't enable doomers we can't enable bait anons. neg is only good for one thing: make anxious people paranoid as fuck.

so can we. for like a week. just not post anything /neg at all. can we block the worst of it. the unnecessary dooming. and not acknowledge at ALL. i get it's a huge mental toll on the active blogs - reading so much negativity SUCKS but i do believe that it's a better option than responding and enabling more people to send similar asks.

me personally, i am already saying it here: any dooming will get blocked in my askbox. i won't hate you for it. but this IS a warning that you need to get your shit together if you ever wanna have a chance at speaking in my askbox ever again.

um congrats if you read everything?😭 PLEAAAASE let's all make this place a better place again i know we can do it

U CAN ADD TO THIS POST IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BTW !!!

[silverhallow]

Not So Secret

Benophie Week Day 1: Wedding/Best Friend’s Brother/ “hey look at me, i’m yours. No one can change that” pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Sophie Beckett Word Count: 2.6k Summary: It's Daphne's Wedding and a secret is about to be discovered… will it ruin the wedding or was it not so secret ever after all?

authors note: it's inspired by @bridgertonbabe's Harry Potter AU and Colin's reaction

Sophie hated keeping secrets. She really did. Especially from her best friends… but she had no idea how Daphne and Colin would take the news that she was dating their older brother Benedict.

She’d had a crush on him for years -  since she was about 11, if she was being honest with herself - and she’d always assumed that he’d only ever seen her as his brother and sister’s best friend and nothing more…

But all that had changed at Daphne and Simon’s joint Hen and Stag do…

Sophie had had one too many drinks and had been dancing with him. It had been quite charged as he’d wrapped his arms around her, let them stroke over her skin, and held her far too close to be decent in public.  As the song closed, Benedict had leaned in and been about to kiss her when Colin had drunkenly jumped on them, killing the moment.

Sophie had excused herself and gone outside, her heart aching and racing at the same time as she’d slumped against the wall, cursing Colin for interrupting them and knowing at the same time it was probably for the best. After all, she was just his younger sibling's best friend, and he’d just been caught up in the moment.

Or so she’d thought.

He’d come outside not two minutes after she had, and without saying a word, he just walked over, pulled her close, and kissed her. She’d been too stunned to do anything for a moment, and before she could respond, he pulled away...

“I’ve been wanting to do that for ages,” Benedict admitted, and as he was about to apologise for it, Sophie yanked him back to her and kissed him back.

She’d gone home with him after that, and for the last 3 months, they’d been sneaking around behind Daphne and Colin’s back, it had been Benedict who suggested that he walk Sophie down the aisle since Sophie was maid of honour. Anthony was giving Daphne away and was also acting as Best Man, so Benedict offered to do it instead of Anthony.

Colin had argued that he should be the one to walk Sophie down since she was their best friend, but Daphne had said it made more sense as Benedict was the next in age to Anthony and was therefore deputising as best man for the aisle walk and as a result, Colin was to walk down with Eloise.

They’d been cautious for 3 months, not letting anyone know, sneaking around and trying to be discreet, and sharing night after night together. Sophie felt like she had been on cloud nine, though she hated keeping it from her best friends, and she didn’t want to upset Daphne or Colin before the wedding.

She suspected that Daphne wouldn’t take it too badly given she was marrying Anthony’s best friend… but Colin… He was a loose cannon, and he’d been pissed when Daphne had briefly dated his other best friend, Fredrick…

The morning of the wedding came around and Sophie had woken in Benedict’s bed. He told Daphne that he would pick Sophie up and bring her to the family home so the two of them arriving together wouldn’t be a surprise.

“I’ve brought you some breakfast and coffee. It’s going to be a long day, so I figured we’d need it,” he grinned at his girlfriend as she pulled the duvet up over her bare breasts.

“Thank you,” she smiled sleepily. “I am pretty tired. Someone kept me up late,” she teased.

“I didn’t hear you complaining,” he smirked as he climbed back into the bed next to her, dropped a kiss on her lips, and placed the tray between them.

“Well, it’s not every day I get told someone is in love with me…” she returned, laying her head on his shoulder

“Is it not? Well, I think I shall have to change that,” he said gently, moving her so he could stare into her moss green eyes: “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she replied, leaning in and kissing him gently.

“We are going to have to figure out how to tell my siblings, though… I don’t want to hide anymore.” Benedict said honestly and gave her a serious look.

Sophie nodded, “I know…” After all, it had been her reluctance to say anything before the wedding, “it’s just… I’m just a bit worried about how they’re going to react,” she admitted as she turned her gaze away.

“Hey, Look at me… I’m yours. No one is going to change that. Not in the least my twin brother and sister… besides, I have a feeling they won’t care,” Benedict grinned

“Ben… you saw what Colin did to Fredrick… and what Anthony did to Simon…”

“That was different…” Benedict said with a shrug as he started on his bacon sandwich

“How?” Sophie asked, rolling her eyes

“Well, Anthony walked in on Simon and Daph naked…” Benedict chuckled

“Well yeah, I guess that would cause any of you to go nuts…”  Sophie admitted, “But Colin hardly walked in on Daph and Fred”

“No, but he did see Fredrick snogging Cressida the day after he found out about Fred and Daph… and saw him with Rosamund the day before.”

“HE DID WHAT?” Sophie said, outraged.

“Yeah, Daph had told him about Fred the day before… she told you the next day, which is when Colin saw Fred with Cressida… so he punched him. Quite rightly as well,” Benedict explained

Sophie just blinked. “How… How did I not know about this?”

“Daph didn’t want you to know, especially since the witch's apprentice was involved…” Benedict said. “So they agreed between them not to say anything. She didn’t want you freaking out”

Sophie just stared at the breakfast in shock “oh…” was all she could say.

Benedict kissed her cheek.

“everything will be okay, I promise… and besides, my mother has final approval on all couples, and she was the one who gave me a shove to act on my feelings for you, so she’ll be thrilled…”

Sophie’s mouth dropped open, which caused Benedict to grin. Before she could say anything more, he silenced and distracted her with a kiss.

Several hours later, the wedding was over, and everyone was getting ready for the evening reception. Sophie had caught the bouquet and gone a bright red shade as Benedict gave her a subtle wink, and she’d run inside to compose herself.

Benedict barely had any time with Sophie since they arrived at Aubrey Hall for the wedding other than when they were walking down the aisle together.

So when everyone was milling around and with his family suitably distracted, he walked over to Sophie and, with the pretence of grabbing a drink, whispered in her ear: “Meet me on the private terrace…”

Then he quickly disappeared.

Sophie excused herself from her conversation with Anthony’s girlfriend Kate, who smirked knowingly,  as she left to meet Benedict. The moment she’d stepped onto the balcony of the private terrace, he’d wrapped his arms around her.

“You look so beautiful,” he smiled “The silver looks amazing on you.”

Sophie beamed “You scrub up well yourself… I’ll never forget the first time I saw you in a suit…”

Benedict laughed “Oh, I know, you spilled your juice all over yourself” 

Sophie went bright red “I thought you hadn’t seen that…”

“Nope, I just pretended not to notice, it was very cute, but you were only 12 and looked like 9 or something,” he teased

Sophie scowled, and Benedict laughed “I jest, my love, but seeing you dressed like this… reminds me of seeing you in your Prom dress, then seeing you again at 18, dressed up for your sixth form formal with Daph… made me realise how beautiful a woman you were growing into… and when you came back from France… it was my turn to spill my drink all over me” he admitted

“You did?” Sophie asked, shocked.

“Yes, after my mother told me it was you… because I was so shocked at how beautiful you’d become, I dropped my glass of wine down myself in shock,” he admitted, his cheeks becoming red. “I suspect it’s when my mother realised that perhaps I had feelings for you. Or was starting to develop them… I’m not sure.”

“Oh, Benedict,” she sighed as she leaned into him and pressed her cheek into his chest.

“If only I’d had the courage to tell you this, this could have been our wedding,” he said softly. “rather than two years of dancing around it…”

“I don’t think I’d have believed you if you told me then… I still have trouble believing it now… it feels like it’s a dream, as if I’m going to wake up and none of this would be true,” she admitted.

“Shall I prove to you that you’re not dreaming?” he asked as he pinched her hip

“Oww…. that was mean,” she pouted, rubbing her hip.

Benedict grinned for a second “Just proving this is real…” he said before pulling her back into his arms and kissing her, his hands snaking around her back, holding her close.

His hands were just slipping upwards to cup her breasts when the doors of the terrace flew open. “Ben? Are you-… BEN??? SOPHIE?! WHAT THE FUCK?!” came Colin’s voice, and both Benedict and Sophie jumped apart in shock.

The colour had drained from Colin’s face, “We… we can explain,” Benedict said, looking at his brother earnestly.

“Explain what?! That you are messing around with my best friend?!” he yelled at his brother, drawing himself up to his full height in an attempt to look threatening.

“We’re not messing around Colin… I am serious about this… about her,” Benedict said honestly.

Colin shook his head “No… No… You… you can’t. You don’t!” he muttered while grabbing his hair and walking around in circles.

“What’s all the racket?! Colin, I thought you were looking for Benedict for some photos?” Daphne asked as she walked into the room leading to the terrace, with Violet and Anthony behind her.

“I was!! Him… sophie… snogging?! Groping!!!” He stammered, pointing at Sophie and Benedict who were standing there blinking.

“And what’s the big deal?” Daphne asked, “Kate and Anthony were just in the closet…”

“BUT- IT- SHE’S OUR BEST FRIEND!!” Colin squeaked.

“And? Just cause she’s our friend doesn’t mean she can’t date Benedict,” Daphne said calmly “They’ve been dating for a while…”

“Wait… how… How… how did you know?!” Sophie asked, finding her voice and looked out from behind Benedict’s back, shocked at Daphne’s revelation.

“We all knew, dear… or I assumed we all did… it would appear Colin did not… we assumed you’d tell us in your own time,” Violet said with a bright smile.

“How did you all know?” Benedict asked “I thought we were being careful…”

“I saw you snogging outside the pub… Simon saw you and Ben getting into a taxi back to his…” Daphne explained.

“I saw Sophie’s baking apron in your flat… and her Converse at your front door… and some erm… undergarments on the ceiling light in your flat…” Anthony admitted.

“I saw you sneaking out of Sophie’s office,” Kate said grinning.

Sophie and Benedict blinked, Sophie went a delicate shade of red, which only went more red when Violet explained, “I erm… overheard you after the rehearsal dinner in Benedict’s room here.”

“Eloise and Hyacinth found out when they stole Benedict’s phone and saw the messages you’d been sending one another. We bribed them not to say anything as we assumed you weren’t ready to tell us,” Anthony said, “but they ended up telling Fran and Greg anyway…”

“So I was the only one who didn’t…?” Colin asked, outraged. “Why did no one tell me!?”

“Colin, you overreact at everything” Daphne sighed, “and besides, I assumed you knew since we both were at Sophie’s when she did a terrible job of trying to hide Benedict’s clothes in her car. No one else we know rowed for Cambridge…” 

Colin blinked and just stared

“Why did no one say anything to us?” Benedict asked

“Ben… you asked to walk Sophie down the aisle instead of Colin… we assumed that was you telling us” Violet smiled, exasperated with her son.

“Oh… but… so… no one… you don’t mind?” Sophie asked her question more towards Daphne and Colin.

“I don’t, I am thrilled! We always talked about being sisters! Why do you think I threw my bouquet directly at you” she grinned." If Ben asks you to marry him, we'll be sisters truly! It’s the best wedding present!” Daphne said as she pushed Colin out of the way and hugged Sophie, who had turned beetroot at the marriage comment, tightly.

Sophie looked towards Colin, who scowled, “I am not thrilled about it… Ben’s got a horrible track with relationships… he’ll break your heart”

“I won’t,” Benedict said “I love her, Col, I have for ages… it’s why Tilley, Tessa and Gen didn’t work out… they weren’t Sophie…”

“No, you haven’t. You’re just saying it,” Colin huffed like a child who was being told he wouldn’t get his favourite dinner.

“He’s not Colin,” Violet said. “He might not have known it at the time, but he definitely started developing or realising his feelings when Sophie returned from her apprenticeship in France…” 

Benedict nodded in agreement with his mother “It’s true, Col, I am sorry you’ve had to find out this way, but it’s true… since then… I didn’t think she returned my affections… it’s why I tried to move on…” he explained.

“But… but…” Colin stammered

“We were trying to work out how to tell you, Colin. I’m sorry you found us like this, but we were going to tell you…” Sophie said earnestly.

Colin just blinked and looked around “and no one else has an issue with this?”

Everyone shook their head “Hyacinth’s desperate to celebrate that Sophie’ll one day be our sister in earnest…” Anthony explained. “I think you’re the only one with a problem”

“I…I… I Don’t… I just… she’s my best friend. I don’t want her hurt,” Colin said.

“I am not going to hurt her, Col, I promise,” Benedict said “I love her. She’s it for me…” 

Sophie beamed, tears forming in her eyes as she went red “Really?” she asked.

He nodded “I’d marry you tomorrow if I could”

“Oh…” Sophie said as Colin gawked, not sure if he was about to rage again or throw up.

“Really?” he asked.

Benedict nodded. “But I do not wish to steal Daph’s thunder, and it’s only been three months…”

“No eloping, please!” Violet said, doing a bad job of hiding her laughter.

Anthony laughed. “Hyacinth would murder them.”

Colin sighed: “Fine… I guess… I guess I'll tolerate this… but I swear, Ben… if you hurt her…”

“There will be a long line of people ready to kill me…” Benedict said, “Daph at the front I’d imagine”

“Yes… and now this is sorted… can we please go take family photos?” Daphne said, linking arms with Sophie. “And you my dear sister-to-be, will be in them.”

Sophie couldn’t help but smile as she knew it was pointless to argue with her, and as they walked back into the main room for a few more photos, she tried to apologise to Daphne about how they’d been discovered.

“Nonsense. Like I said, I've known for ages, and it’s the best wedding present ever. My best friend is dating my big brother! We'll truly be aunts to each other’s babies!” Daphne said brightly as they all gathered for the family photos.

“Don’t worry, Daph. I plan on giving mother a run for her money with the number of babies,” he chuckled. Sophie just gasped and spluttered but was unable to reply. Her face was a picture—literally and figuratively, as it was the picture that Benedict chose out of the wedding photos to hang proudly in the living room of his home—the home that Sophie moved into the day after the wedding, and where, six months later, he asked Sophie to marry him.

[masked-watcher]

Ghost x Soap mission aftermath. Confessions ensue. 1.3k of idiots in love. Fluff, no smut.

The room was only dimly lit. Soap sat side by side with Ghost. Too close into the bigger mans personal space, as always. Their fatigue and battle worn faces illuminated by the soft glow of the last rays of sunshine peering through the blinds. The tension in the air was palpable.

Soap sighed, rubbing his temples. "That was a close one, eh? I thought we were done for back there." Ghost nodded slowly, his mask hiding any hint of emotion. "Yeah." It was a simple answer. What Johnny didn't know though was how much he actually beat himself up for what happened. It would have been his fault if anything happened to his sergeant. Just because his mind was occupied with other thoughts than the mission. With him.

Soap turned to face him, his eyes narrowing with concern. "Y'know you can talk to me, aye? We've been through hell together, and I can see something's eating at ye. And it's not just the mission."

Ghosts gaze shifted, his masked face giving away nothing. "Soap, you don't understand. There are things... I can't share. Burdens I have to carry alone."

The younger mans energetic demeanor faded, replaced by a seriousness that surprised even him. "You don't have to carry them alone, LT. We're a team. I thought we were past keeping secrets from each other."

A heavy silence hung in the air before Ghost finally sighed, his broad shoulders slumping ever so slightly. With a slow and deliberate movement, he reached up and pulled at his mask. As it fell away together with the balaclava, revealing his features and scars decorating them, Soaps breath got caught in his throat.

"Simon…" Soap whispered, his voice barely audible. He couldn't tear his gaze away from his face, awestruck by the vulnerability he saw for the first time.

Ghosts voice was low and rough, tinged with a mix of anxiety and relief. "I've worn this mask for so long, Johnny. It's become a part of me, a shield against the world. But you... you've always managed to slip past it."

Soaps heart raced as he met the tired gaze, his own feelings laid bare. "Simon, I… Never realized how much I've wanted to see yer face, to know the real you. I-I mean…" He stumbled a little over his words. "I accept you with every part and side you have! I am happy about every new piece you let me discover. 's just…"

The tall mans lips twitched into the faintest hint of a smile. "You've always seen through me, haven't you?"

Johnny reached out, his fingers trembling as they brushed against Simons cheek. Over one of the many scars. "Yeah, and what I see is someone incredibly strong, someone who's been there for me in ways I can't even describe."

Simons hand covered Soaps. His touch surprisingly gentle. "Johnny, there's something else I need to tell you. Something I've been afraid to admit. But after today I'm not sure how much time we still have left like this."

Johnnys eyes searched Ghosts. Simons. His heart pounding in anticipation. "What is it?"

Ghost took a deep breath, his voice steady despite the vulnerability he was revealing. "I care about you more than I should. More than I thought I could. More than a lieutenant is supposed to about a sergeant."

Soaps gaze softened, his own hand squeezing Ghosts. "I care about you too, Simon."

"Johnny," His voice was barely above a whisper, "there's something you need to understand. I've spent years building walls, keeping people at arm's length, because I didn't want anyone to see my weaknesses. I couldn't let anyone in because they're all leaving. I've lost them all before and I can't do it again. I can't."

The younger mans heart ached at the fear he saw in those deep, dark eyes. "Simon, you don't have to be strong all the time. I've seen your strength and I've seen you being hurt too. You're allowed to lean on someone. If anyone then it should be you who's being taken care of for once."

Ghosts jaw tightened, a battle waging within him. "It's not that simple, Johnny. What if I let you in, let myself be vulnerable and then I can't protect you when you need me most?"

Soaps voice was gentle yet determined. "Protecting me doesn't mean you have to hide who you are. I want to know you, all of you, even the parts you consider ugly or being weaknesses."

"And what if I can't give you what you deserve? What if I'm not enough for you?"

Slowly but surely the scots voice was laced with frustration. "Do you think so little of me that you believe I'd walk away just because things get tough? I want you. All of you. Flaws and everything."

A tense silence followed, each word echoing in the small room. Brown eyes searched Soaps face, his defenses slowly crumbling. "You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear you say that." His voice had a rasp to it. Keeping it low.

Soap reached out, his fingers tracing Simons jawline with a tenderness that sent shivers down his spine. "Then let me say it again. I want you. Ghost or Simon. I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't know if I can be what you deserve. I'm scared I'll let you down. I'm not good with feelings. I'm not a good person. I'm difficult."

"Love isn't about being perfect. 's about being there for each other, even when things get messy. And I'm pretty sure we've proven countless times that we got each others back on and off the field."

The older mans heart felt like it was on the edge of a precipice, the ground shifting beneath him. Slowly, he reached out, his hand finding Soaps. "I want to be with you, Johnny. I'm just... terrified."

The smile he received was tender, the grip on his hand reassuring. "We'll be terrified together then."

As their eyes locked, a tension that had been building for years finally snapped. In that charged moment, Simons hand moved, his fingers gentle yet deliberate as they cupped Soaps cheek. It was a touch that held years of suppressed feelings, a touch that shattered the walls Ghost had built around himself. Johnny leaned into the touch, his eyes closing as he savored the warmth of the hand against his skin.

Their foreheads touched, the space between them filled with an electric energy that defied words. A rough thumb brushed against the corner of Soaps lips, a tender gesture that spoke volumes. And then their lips met.

The kiss started hesitantly, a delicate exploration of the unknown. The bigger mans lips were soft against Soaps, a stark contrast to the hardened exterior he had always projected. It was a kiss that held layers of meaning. A silent confession of the love they had both denied and unspoken feelings that had simmered beneath the surface for far too long.

As the kiss deepened, the world around them faded into insignificance. Simons other hand found its place on Johnnys waist, pulling him closer as their bodies moved in sync with the rhythm of their heartbeats. Careful fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of Ghosts neck, his touch sending shivers down his spine.

The kiss was a dance of emotions. A mixture of longing, fear, and a burning desire to bridge the gap that had kept them apart. Ghosts walls crumbled, his vulnerability laid bare as he poured his feelings into the kiss. Letting Simon have this moment. The scots heart raced. Every touch, every sigh was a testament to the unspoken connection they had shared for so long.

When they finally pulled away, their breaths were ragged, their eyes locked in a gaze that held a newfound depth. Both men wore shy smiles, a new understanding passing between them. "I'm scared, Johnny. Scared of losing you, scared of what this could mean."

Soaps fingers intertwined with Ghosts. "We'll face whatever comes together, just like we always have. And when it's just us… No more masks, no more secrets."

[kostudies]

04.08.24 ; hello. how are you? i'm good. it has been a while, and i'll share with you a long post full of updates. It's crescendo.

I didn't validate my last year in psychology, so i'm retaking it this year. It is very stressful for me, it'll be my... sixth year in uni without a bachelor's degree. I'm getting tired of this, and discouraged - though i'll keep it up.

I wanted to change of city; I wanted to meet new sceneries, to leave myself with me and I only. I wanted to embrace another lifestyle, far from what I already know and feel comfortable. I wanted to change, and to become more active in my own life.

Friendships were hard. People sometimes repeated toxic behaviours, as I did too. I may be the one who values friendships too much, and it hurts to see it is not returned the same way. And, other times, insecurities talked, and it hurt the same way.

I saw my older, middle brother - it has been around one year now that I didn't see him nor talked to him. He, somehow, became someone I don't want around me; impulsive, freely hurtful, conservative, overbearing and deaf to people's opinions and feelings. He enrages me. He's unfair. We saw each other for my grandpa's funeral.

I lost my grand-father. I wasn't close to him, I thought he was a asshole for the abuse towards my grand-mother and my own mother, he was ignorant and arrogant. It had been quite a big change and event in my family's life, and it still weighs on my grandma.

Recently, I thought I would die. In another city, around 1am, with a friend who can't run, we've been followed by a group of 5 dudes. Slurs, threats were thrown, and I never hated men more than at this moment. I thought I would die, for the city was known for some mafia stuff. I am terrified by the idea of stalking and intrusion, it was quite scarring to me.

I stopped smoking. Even if it happens for me to have one cigarette here and there, I completely stopped buying packs and I am grateful. I breathe better! It's amazing! My throat is not as sore as before, my heart is thankful, and I assure myself to low down the chances of breast cancer. However, I'm struggling with weight gain...

... So I'm trying to get back to working out. It's a real up-and-down journey, but I feel like I'm going somewhere. For the past month, I walked one hour (home to work, work to home), 5 days a week, and it helped me a lot. I do some home exercises here and there, and I'm waiting to get back to the swimming pool to do lengths.

I uninstalled Instagram. I also think about going to therapy. I am a priviledged person - my parents take care of my rent and my transports subscription, though they might not be able to in the near future - but I still don't have the money for it (I still have to take my theory test, driving test to have a driving license). I might try to save.

I plan to work on the side during the upcoming uni year, and I want to invest more time in associations. I want to go out more and see more people, more things. I want to try more, fail more, understand things more and reach people's minds, stories - I don't want to hide in fear of failure and shame anymore.

I met new people, but I don't know if they'll stay around. Through them, I tasted how magnificient friendships could be, how sharing experiences was an amazing thing to do, and wanted to do this more often. I'm also progressing on my way to see people as experiences, not possessions. It is hard and triggering, but I keep it up.

Finally, I had the pleasure to discover the world of drag; and it has been therapeutic. I felt myself connecting with my feminity, as I always struggled to express it. I've never felt this confident about my own body and about me wearing more revealing stuff, acting different towards people; I enjoyed this progress in me. I am deeply thankful for the community, for their performances, for their work, for what they embrace and what they share. I am thankful for their existence.

It marks my comeback here. It has been a few months now since my last post, but it didn't mean that I was giving up. I don't want you to give up, either. I'm confronting my laziness and comfort zone, because I feel like I can't continue to feel stuck like this. It is very hard and I would prefer to give up, but the learning is tasty, it feels nice. And I wanted to share with you, even if you're not really following what I'm doing, if you forgot about this blog, if you don't care anymore.

I wanted to share, simply.