#but i am so incredibly happy right now
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#no one is obliged to read this#this is truly for my future self#but i am so incredibly happy right now#like i’m struggling shit is going downhill and nothing is perfect#but it’s like the little things that make it better#like waking up to plants that are alive and the sun being out and seeing people and not being at achool#it’s amazing what not being there does for you#i’m also so proud that i’ve reached this point because exactly a year ago i was in a very not good place and as hard as it was to get here#i feel like i deserve every ounce of joy i’m getting out of this peace#anyways#happy summer cause it’s the best time of the year
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I was *not* longing, I swear.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#wen ning#If you have not listened to this scene in the audio drama I am *pleading* for you to#It's so funny. Oh my god the voice actors nail the part. Plus the music cutting out abruptly#Genuinely incredible comedic timing.#WWX voice: 'I was almost caught having an (unidentifiable ) emotion. How embarrassing. It will never happen again.' (lie)#wwx has unlocked: aesthetic attraction. He is now starting to develop emotional attachment.#This is a incompatible program with the current version of WWX. He requires an additional update#Please note that the actual countdown is *eight* seconds before passing out. My memory was fallible when I did my blocking#pd-mdzs lwj gets an extra 2 seconds. One for each bunny ear.#This comic kicked my ass a little. Normally I don't re-do comics unless its pertinent#but I struggled with getting this one 'just right enough'. And I'm happy with it! B*)
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Three more days for sunkel week. Im too lazy as to post them separately. Mischief/errands (day 2), Late nights (day 3), Birthday (Day 4)
#omori fanart#omori#suntan omori#omori suntan#sunkel omori#sunkelweek2024#omori sunkel#omori kelsun#kelsun omori#caprisun omori#omori caprisun#kel omori#omori kel#omori sunny#sunny omori#sunny x kel#kel x sunny#cactulip omori#omori cactulip#THE SECOND ONE WAS INCREDIBLY RUSHED AND IM SORRY IF IT LOOKS FUNKY (in a bad way) I WAS SPEED RUNNING IT AT LIKE 10 PM#i am. so tired#and im making more new omori aus i will actually go insane and thats not even a joke. save me.#my brain is like a pair of maracas right now. it go chachacha duhduhduh!!!!!!!#i hallucinated hellmari on my door yesterday uhhhhhhhhhhh yea i need to get checked out.#happy birthday sunny
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this was made especially for those of us who cut ties with our shitty families, huh
i cried so much this whole episode. i know that i can't be in that house and be who i am at the same time, but the guilt and shame never really go away. i love that this episode said, wholeheartedly: fuck what society says, you should be wherever allows you to be happiest
anyway! you always hear that family estrangement is rare in asian communities, but i did it! and you can do it, too! dump your shitty family! i believe in you~
#tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna#it's incredible like i don't think i fully realized how ashamed i feel until this episode had me ugly crying into my blankie#especially because the abuse was invisible and people say: oh everyone's family says harsh things! it's because they care! they love you!#and no matter how hard you try to explain the magnitude of what was done to you people still shrug and say but they're *family*#not that there was ZERO physical abuse but like. that's just How It Is in the community i grew up in so it's not a Reason reason#and that's all aside from all that's expected of me as the child of an asian family (that i am simply doing none of)#FUCK i guess i just compartmentalized all of this so securely i didn't think it could bleed out anymore#thanks tsukutabe. i guess?#this show is RELENTLESSLY coming for me this season too like explicitly stated asexual rep? a treat for me personally!#idk i never expected an asian drama to be so clear about this especially because kasuga's abuse was invisible too#and the idea of not sacrificing yourself for your parents is COUNTER to what you're supposed to do#i am just VERY EMOTIONAL right now#i love kasuga so much and it was rough to see her going through it but i am SO HAPPY that she's accepted and loved
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This is an EVIL part of the body btw:
#disability#disability memes#described images#image description in alt#i really shouldn't have taken my brief few years of no back pain for granted FR#sorry for going on and on about this but pain and suffering and happiness and relief#i am in So much pain right now :(#my cane has helped me get out of the shower and out of bed (when i have the Most Intense pain)#incredibly grateful that i have somewhat gotten over my stupid stupid internalized ableist sense of pride though#i want to get the pain checked out but i have Very Little Hope of it getting better#especially since i am still ~so young~
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Happy birthday to the man, the myth, the legend, trophy husband of Yuuri Katsuki, Viktor Nikiforov!
#oh and fuck that post#HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BOI YOU DESERVE THE WORLD#christmas ends on the 24th here so GUESS WHAT#THE 25TH IS ALL ABOUT VIKTOR BABYYY#also theyre married your honour idc what plaintiff has to say because im right they have no grounds to sue#anyway i drew this before yuuris birthday and has been sitting on it for a month now and i am SO glad to get it posted#and despite having that much time to prepare this post im sitting here on christmas eve and typing this out while hiding from festivities#also IGNORE THAT THE COAT ISNT ACCURATE I JUST DREW IT OKAY#its embarrassing as someone who lives in a cold country to draw a winter coat wrong#people from warm countries have no idea what im talking about probably and if you do or are from a cold country and know then no you dont#the coat is perfect youre just imagining things#also lemme tell you those eyelashes made me so happy to draw#i ADORE pale lashes theyre so fun#tbh i adore all colours but im particularly fond of white grey and black hair and white lashes#its just so chefs kiss#if you have pale invisible lashes that you think make you look weird no they dont they make you look incredible#also yes this is ABSOLUTELY a companion piece to the birthday piece i did for yuuri#i said i liked to imagine that piece being how viktor sees yuuri#well heres viktor looking at yuuri#yuri on ice#yuri on ice fanart#fanart#art#arom antix art#arom antix#viktor nikiforov
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i was rewatching s4 today and had some blue and yellow scrap yarn from another project I was working on
anyway here’s my new baby and we’re watching “Dear Billy” now
edit: his name is now Weston
thank you @gay-episode for the suggestion :)
#byler#byler turtle#I am so incredibly happy right now#even though my fingers hurt#blue and yellow#oh also is it weird I forgot how good this show is#like obviously it’s good#but like dang#why am I so invested#I LITERALLY ALREADY KNOW WHATS GOING ON
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in the 2 and a half years since legends arceus graced my life with its presence, try as i might, i have never quite managed to acquire a shiny alpha... but as of october 24th, 2024, the halloween gods decided to bless me with my very first, and it's none other than a fucking SPIRITOMB.
I'M LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND
#THIS REALLY WAS OUR LEGENDS ARCEUS#i'm actually vibrating i cannot believe out of any old alpha the FIRST one i get is debatably the coolest#like spiritomb already had an incredible shiny and i had gotten lucky earlier by getting one in my first outbreak after completing the ques#but this is just... i'm speechless. i'm quite literally speechless. i am so overwhelmingly happy right now#riley rambles#i also brought him to the top of spear pillar to represent the amount of failed timelines where volo beat my ass
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solavellan end game spoilers below . do not click if u dont want spoilers i know the keep reading thing is calling to you but thats the DEVIL talking ok listen to me babe .hey babe look at me. babe. look at me babe. i am so serious do not click unless you have seen the end of the game already.
just as soon as they both get approximately 18 months of sleep you just know the make up sex is going to be fucking CRAZY.
#I AM SO INCREDIBLY FUCKING SERIOUS THERE ARE SOLAVELLAN END GAME *VISUAL* SPOILERS IN HERE.#datv#tay plays datv#datv spoilers#oc: ashara#da4 spoilers#veilguard spoilers#i know i said no posting right now but i need this immortalized on my blog so bad. tr*mp will not be taking this moment from me#genuinely ashara looks SO fucking foul in every single cutscene EXCEPT THIS ONE. THANK GOD. ITS LIKE A REWARD#i have always wanted her to look tired as hell but i did not think id be able to make her look like a corpse and im so grateful#she truly looks like all that stuff really DID happen to her in the south lol#im so happy. i truly am. i have so many fucking problems with the game as a whole#but THIS was what meant the most to me. this was what i needed to be ok . and im more than ok . im genuinely happy.
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Oh I'm deeply in love with her
Chiori Character Teaser just dropped
#I love a woman who's more than happy to beat up a bastard#we love a woman who stands up for her employees#ohhhh she hates men /hj#ohhhhhhhhh the way she glares at him (not so subtly)#what an icon#Chiori#Genshin Chiori#Genhin Impact Chiori#I actually fell for Chiori veryyy quickly in 4.3#I'm so SO happy she's releasing now#but alas...#I am fearful. for the#HORROR! that is to be the character after her#I have no confirmations. only an unfortunately spoiling twitter trending tab and obvious hunches#I WILL pull for Chiori but. with incredible amounts of self control#and of course the Chevreuse moment that happens right after will NOT go unmentioned#but I gotta employ SOME amount of self-control here
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Update on Town Square:
I got in and it is fun :3 you can just like. Choose a cookie to mess around as. I decided to be Alchemist.
Except apparently there's ALCHEMIST CONTENT IN THIS UPDATE??????? and I don't know how to get to it 😭😭 I saw someone else ask that in the middle of running around the square and I just. Started circling them dndjdjdjdnmd
Btw just wanted to highlight these parts of the title screen since I didn't really show my appreciation for them earlier.
(also also I love Granola Cookie already just-)
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#alchemist cookie#Btw I haven't posted much about witch's castle but I am incredibly cracked at that game and am having fun#Even if it is uh. A bit buggy sometimes dndnndndndnd#Look when I was like 9 I ascended to godhood at gardenscapes reached my full potential there and the skills carried over#(Ok I'm exaggerating obviously but-)#I probably should post more. Gingerbright says Yippee like an autism creature-#I'm still waiting to get alchemist in that game I wanna see her room decor stuff 😭 and I don't wanna look it up online-#It would be so easy to but I wanna get it in my own...#Same with vampire's but I actually have him you just get him for free#Also the little favorite items just. I need my lore okay I need my lore-#I might actually give in and look it up eventually i'm dying to see dndnndndndndndd#Yeah I just. Idk I'm very happy right now.#Ok well school's been making Gaming a bit difficult but that's just because we had a lot of projects and stuff but things should calm down
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i am filled with so much loving of people
#at this precise moment im specifically thinking about my best friend's boyfriend who is. also my best friend probably#hes just so lovely and so consistently incredibly nice to me and like#i dont think he quite knows?how bad i can get with my self esteem and shit like that#but regardless he always is just so happy to see me and he just. thinks im waayyyy cooler than i am but he does all of this in such a way#that it feels genuine and not like he's just trying to make me feel better about myself it's like. he genuinely thinks all these things#he's also just the loveliest guy ever and. yeah#i will tell him all of thst at some point i think#but not right now cause im meant to be asleep#which i am going to do now!! goodnight tumblr dot com#ezra’s real life rambles
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how the fuck is it already november 25th?!!?!!?
(time is so fucked up)
anyway, happy one year anniversary to my fic “if only there was more time” and posting on ao3 for the first time!
sincerely can’t believe that i’ve been writing for a year, how did that happen???
#i still can’t believe i decided to post anything at all#i remember wanting to keep fic writing to myself#but right after clicking post on ch 1 i went to my roommates and was like#guess what i just did!!!!#i didn’t even know i liked creative writing until this fic#but i feel so incredibly happy that i found this hobby#it helped me in so many ways#it got me out of the cave#i got my creative spark back that i foolishly thought i lost#this is the largest writing project i've ever worked on#i had no idea what i was doing at any point#the idea just needed to get out and i tried my best#is it completely accurate to the characters? probably not but who’s to say?#i like to think i have some idea now but i can never really be sure#i sincerely love this fic despite its flaws it'll always hold a special place in my heart#also still can’t believe that ppl actually liked it and left such nice comments!! that's actually crazy!!#like i’ll never get over that it still doesn’t feel real#here i am now with 6 works and 227k words in total written#that is so fucking much i have no idea how i did that#and how the fuck did i write this fic in less than 6 months??? where did that drive go???#anyways shout out to my followers that are here bc of this fic#i love you more than anything <3#and to the few that have read the entire series: i will write the last installment one day!!#i will not leave it unfinished!!
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It's not the holidays until the bank sends fraud alerts because you're spending too much Christmas shopping.
#it was a new computer for my son#because his laptop is held together by duct tape#and with all the incredibly early black friday sales right now it wasn't an egregious amount of money#just enough to worry my bank#and also prevent us from buying literally anything else for the holidays#or anything that isn't a necessity for a while after...#electronics are expensive#i am so glad i stopped building computers for people#explaining these costs would be a nightmare#happy holidays
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#sometimes it blows my mind that i somehow bagged the sexiest sweetest most perfect man in the entire world#and he is obsessed with my weird psycho ass?????#like this boy loves me so much in a way i haven’t felt before and i am so fucking incredibly blessed and so fucking lucky to be me#i genuinely wouldn’t want to be anyone else in the world right now. i feel like i have it all and im just going to keep getting more#i am so fucking profoundly happy#personal
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Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that
#Giving time...#Still more time...#Wouldn't want to plague any previews#Maybe another filler. Just for some fun#Is this enough?#It certainly is now#Alright start:#I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight#'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state /#/of constant self-loathing#I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea#What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not /#/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed#I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore#I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done#I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though#I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I /#/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward#I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme#Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way#God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs#It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my /#/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days#Literally what am I doing this for#And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with /#/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life#Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me#Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus#I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore#It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until
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