#but i am in such a brolin mood

[captaincolossal]

The part of the Yes or No episode of Game Changer, when Brennan is like, "it's hard to contain this much anger inside my body" is so relatable to me. My housemate is super into Dimension 20, and this morning we watched a couple episodes of Game Changer before they went to work and I returned to my unpaid internship of...*checks notes* making phone call all day.

Anyway, I picked the Yes or No episode and we realized how perfect that is for this situation, like no matter when I do, it is wrong and everyone is making me feel crazy and AYE CANNOT WIN!!!

Gotta say, being forced to be aggressive on the phone for several days in a row is certainly a specific and powerful mood, but Jesus, it's exhausting.

Westworld (1973)

Oh, she fucked a whole buncha gladiators in Roman!World, for sure.

*gasp* Josh Brolin's Hot Dad is in this??? Holy shit. On the other hand, it's directed by Michael Crichton, which is giving me Maximum Overdrive (1986) vibes, and that's probably not fair although I am still obsessed and/or haunted by it, which is...something.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // MARCH 24

This March Round Up is one of the most media-diverse I’ve ever published. Two books! Two miniseries! One museum! One telecast! And somehow, most of them eventually come back to the same topic: movies. 

Now that the Oscars have named their 2023 victors (“My eyes see Oppenheimer!!!”), it feels like the 2024 movie year has finally started, and one major Awards Season contender is already out. (Keep reading to see if it is Kong x Godzilla!) Three of my top 10 picks this month are new films, but this brief pause between Awards Season and summer blockbusters means I have time for indulgent activities like reading books and playing Turner Classic Movies roulette on the DVR. May lulls like these between your busy seasons be just as enjoyable with these pop culture faves…

March Crowd-Pleasers

1. The Fury by Alex Michaelides (2024)

You know it’s a good book when it’s already past your bedtime, you see that you have 100 pages left, and still say, “Yeah, there’s no way I’m not finishing this tonight.” I made this my January Book of the Month because it sounded like Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (my favorite movie of 2022), but this doesn’t center on a Benoit Blanc-style detective. At the center is a charming, unreliable narrator (one I kept picturing as John Mulaney) recounting the murder of a starlet (whom I kept picturing as Carole Lombard) while on vacation with her friends and family. I read 75% of this murder mystery set on a private Greek in one sitting because I couldn’t put it down!

2. Road House (2024)

Thank goodness Jake Gyllenhaal seems to be losing interest in prestige projects because he’s best when he’s a lil’ crazy. That’s just one reason this Road House is even more fun than the original. Read my full review for ZekeFilm. Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 7/10

3. Barbie: The World Tour by Margot Robbie and Andrew Mukamal (2024)

I have referenced Barbie in almost every Round Up since it came out, and I'm not slowing down now. This new book from Margot Robbie and her stylist Andrew Mukamal catalogs each of her Barbie press tour looks inspired the doll’s historical closet, giving side-by-side comparisons the head-to-toe looks on the doll and on Robbie. With designers’ sketches and insight into how Robbie and Mukamal made their sartorial choices, it makes for a gorgeous coffee table book.

4. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)

Big things go smash! I stopped by KMOV to chat about the newest Godzilla/Kong team-up with Joshua Ray, which won’t send you away smarter but probably in a better mood. Watch the full review. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 4/10

5. SNL Round Up

I’m noticing my Saturday Night Live Round Ups are shorter this year, which is probably thanks to a greener cast. But I am always rooting for Studio 8H, and these three were worth re-watching and sharing in the text thread: 

“Detectives” (4913 with Sydney Sweeney)

“Loud Table” (4913)

“Moulin Rouge” (4914 with Josh Brolin)

More March Crowd-Pleasers: Morgan Freeman, Keanu Reeves, and Rachel Weisz get caught up in a murder plot surrounding a new energy source in Chain Reaction (1996) // Before Zodiac, Kurt Russell was a Miami Journal reporter investigating a serial killer in The Mean Season (1985)

March Critic Picks

1. Art in Bloom at the St. Louis Art Museum

Every spring SLAM invites floral artists to create arrangements inspired by pieces in the museum’s collection. As always, this event inspires me to look at works I’ve seen dozens of times in new ways, and I always discover flowers that make me wish my thumbs were more verdant.

2. Dune: Part Two (2024)

Dune is weird, but I love that it hasn’t stopped it from sourcing an endless supply of memes. Even more, I love that a vision as grand as this one has taken root in pop culture, that a new crop of young actors are catapulting movie stardom into the next generation, and that this epic is as concerned with philosophy and the craft of filmmaking as much as blockbuster-style spectacle. Crowd: 8.5/10 // 9/10

3. The Sixties (2014)

And now I’ve finally finished CNN’s decade miniseries. Though these series aren’t revolutionary—The Sixties episodes include “The War in Vietnam,” “The British Invasion,” and “The Space Race”—they provide more depth and insight than a Wikipedia article with plenty of interviews and primary source footage. (And perhaps too much insight with an 85-minute episode about the JFK assassination, which is steeped in more conspiracy theories than are worth mentioning.) Each of CNN's decade series has impressed me with the connections drawn to today, and The Sixties is no exception.

4. The 96th Oscars

It’s a treat when the consensus is that the Oscars ceremony was…good? It’s been a few years since that was the popular opinion! Not only were the winners a pretty solid selection, but most of the bits worked, most of the musical performances were solid, and it finished…early? These were my favorite moments during the brisk evening:

Past Best Supporting Actress winners celebrate this year’s nominees and winner, Da’Vine Joy Randolph

Past Best Supporting Actor winners celebrate this year’s nominees and winner, Robert Downey Jr.

Past Best Actor winners celebrate this year’s nominees and winner, Cillian Murphy

Past Best Actress winners celebrate this year’s nominees and winner, Emma Stone (even though I was rooting for Lily Gladstone)

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito rib Michael Keaton and present Best Visual Effects to the charming Godzilla Minus One crew

John Cena demonstrates the value of our Best Costume nominees

Kate McKinnon and America Ferrera present Best Documentary (though they’re not always sure which films are fact and which are fiction)

Ryan Gosling (and many more Kens) perform “I’m Just Ken”

“My eyes see Oppenheimer!!”

5. The Power of Film (2024)

Onetime UCLA professor Howard Suber walks us through some of the most popular and memorable films in history in this new Turner Classic Movies miniseries. He explains why they’ve passed the test of time, analyzing storytelling motifs and themes like destiny, love, heroes vs. villains, and paradox. I’m still thinking about some of his insights (e.g. there are no good characters, only good character relationships), and I compiled the 275 films he uses as examples on in a Letterboxd list.

More March Critic Picks: A Letter to Three Wives (1949) is a light-on-its-feet melodrama about three women wondering which of their husbands is about to leave them // Naughty Marietta (1935) pulls off the princess-with-a-mistaken-identity rom-com trope with a dash of music // A Double Life (1947) is a killer thriller (pun intended) about the dangers of taking inspiration from Othello in real life // Before Mr. Deeds, Gary Cooper was a more earnest small town simpleton who stumbles into millions in Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936) // Susan Hayward more than earns her Oscar for her performance based on a semi-true story about a woman on death row in I Want to Live! (1958) // Spencer Tracy and Elizabeth Taylor didn’t make me cry like the remake does, but their relationship in Father of the Bride (1950) is still sweetly moving 70+ years later // Even if it didn’t star Rock Hudson and Lauren Bacall, Written on the Wind (1956) would still look phenomenal because it’s directed by Douglas Sirk, but thank goodness they both get to cook in his Technicolor vision

Also in March…

I chipped in on a ZekeFilm piece on the Oscar-nominated live action shorts with a paragraph about Wes Anderson’s “The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar”

I also reviewed the perfectly pleasant Kung Fu Panda 4 for ZekeFilm…

…and for KMOV, where I also made some Oscar predictions before the big night.

Photo credits: The Fury, Barbie. Art in Bloom my own. All others IMDb.com.

[godofslaying]

Someone: oh my god Loki is dead just learn to deal with it ugh

Me, bursting through the door: you know who's gonn' be dead next? Your hopes and dreams if yOU DONT STFU BITCH

Me, walking in again a sec later: BTW YOUR MUMS A HOE!

[notsoevil]

I’ve Loved You Before

It had been exactly a week since Arthur ‘rose from the dead,’ so to speak. Truth be told, Merlin had not expected Arthur’s return to be so troublesome, and while he was happy the king was back, he found the whole situation to be weirdly bizarre. Merlin had secretly hoped the reunion would be profound and beautiful, maybe even romantic, but never would he have imagined Arthur turning up at his doorstep in the middle of the night, shivering from head to toe in the chilly January air, muttering out a barely there, “Merlin.” The sorcerer had just enough time to catch Arthur as he collapsed, grunting under his weight. Not the Saturday night he had planned. 

Now they were sitting in Merlin’s living room, Arthur curiously inspecting the TV remote for at least the twelfth time in the last seven days alone, while Merlin sat on the sofa next to him, knees curled up to his chest, contemplating what they should do next. The radio was quietly playing in the kitchen, which song, Merlin had no idea, but it provided a nice background noise. Merlin perked up once as the radio host said something about snowstorms, but quickly returned to his thoughts. Arthur had come back, so that meant Avalon was was in desperate need - only there was no more Avalon.

Arthur let out a small huff as he placed the remote on the couch next to him. The brunet looked over at him, raising an eyebrow.

“Merlin, I’m bored. Entertain me.” 

“Hmph,” was Merlin’s short reply, before he stared at a certain spot on the carpet that had caught his attention. He wasn’t in the mood for silly antics, and besides, he had better things to do.

Arthur stood up and stretched, letting out an exaggerated yawn. The sorcerer heard him pad into the kitchen and open the fridge. Seconds later he closed it again and groaned.

“I’m hungry Merlin! Do we have any of that peculiar bread from last night left over?”

Sighing, Merlin stood up and joined the king in search of food.

“It’s called pizza, and no, you finished it for breakfast this morning.”

“Oh.” Arthur opened a cabinet above the stove and peered inside. 

“What do you expect to find in there?” Asked Merlin. “I don’t keep food in the house, you know that. Nothing but pure necessities.” 

“I know, that’s the problem!” Said Arthur, frowning. 

Merlin let out a small laugh and shook his head. “I’ll take you to the store tomorrow, then we can buy some. If you’re hungry now, I can make you some scrambled eggs.”

“That would be nice.” Arthur hopped onto the counter next to the oven as Merlin took two eggs out of the fridge, turning on the stove and cracking the eggs into a bowl to whisk them. 

The radio host announced the end of commercial break and a familiar tune started playing. 

Merlin smiled and murmured, “I like this song.” 

Arthur reached over to the windowsill and turned up the music, just as the first lyrics started playing. 

When I think of how you know me,

No doubts no thinking twice.

“What song is this,” queried Arthur, as Merlin hummed along.

“I’ve Loved You Before by Melissa Etheridge, I believe.”

“Ah. I like it.”

Merlin grinned.

We were lovers in an army,

Marching all for Rome.

The king hopped off the counter when Merlin took a step away from the pan, turning down the heat to let the eggs simmer. 

Arthur grabbed Merlin’s arm and prompted, “Let’s dance.”

The latter just had time to wonder, “Wha-“ before Arthur pulled Merlin into the open space between living room and kitchen, placing his right hand on Merlin’s waist and grabbing Merlin’s right hand with his left. Having no other choice, Merlin put his free hand on Arthur’s shoulder and they started swaying together.

Did I hold you in my arms,

As you were taking your last breath?

The two men locked eyes, and both suddenly seemed to realise the position they were in. Arthur was about to pull away, apologising, but Merlin pulled him back in, linked his hands behind Arthur’s neck and whispered, “Stay.” Arthur placed his hands back on Merlin’s waist and once again started moving to the song’s rhythm.

Did shout to all the gods,

That I would love you beyond death?

I swear I’ve loved you before.

Holding Arthur just that bit tighter, Merlin carefully let his gaze drop and bumped foreheads with the king, hearing Arthur let out a shallow breath. Listening to the lyrics, however, he started frowning, remembering how he held Arthur close in his last moments, in a position similar to the one they were in now. Only this time, Arthur was holding on just as tightly as Merlin was, and rather than an atmosphere of fear and darkness, they were surrounded by an air of peaceful content. 

An accidental touch,

Did we ever take the chance for more?

Merlin glanced up at Arthur through his lashes, and found that he was looking back at him, a smile playing on his lips. 

“I think I understand why you enjoy this song.” As Arthur spoke, his breath mingled with Merlin’s. 

Merlin grinned and sarcastically replied, “Hm, I wonder why.” Arthur laughed airily. Merlin couldn’t help but think of all the times they had cracked jokes together, so many long years ago, and was filled with a glowing warmth at the realisation, that finally, finally, they might go back to how it was, whatever that might mean. 

And every time I found you

It’s you eyes I know for sure.

“Has anyone ever told you, your eyes have the most beautiful, unique colours?” Asked Arthur, his voice barely above a whisper, blushing slightly in the pale light from the kitchen.

Merlin’s breath hitched. “No, I don’t think anyone ever has.” Arthur hummed at that, lowering his gaze, and Merlin did the same.

Both of them were acutely aware of every inch that touched the other, from their hands to their necks to their chests that were just barely brushing. 

When your smile can be so soothing,

A familiar paradise.

Merlin didn’t think before he mumbled, “I missed you.” Arthur lifted Merlin’s chin with his forefinger, and they once again locked eyes, only this time a thousand words seemed to pass between them at once, silent accusations and apologies, ‘I missed you’s and ‘where have you been’s. 

Arthur moved slowly closer, until his nose was bumping Merlin’s and he murmured, “May I kiss you?” 

When there’s no one else that makes me whole

I am never wanting more.

Rather than answering, Merlin leaned up just enough for their lips to graze each other, and Merlin heard Arthur’s breath hitch before he held onto the back of Merlin’s head and deepened the kiss, hands tangling in brown hair. It was tentative and slow, but it conveyed so many messages at once, that it overwhelmed them. They got lost in each other, years of love, friendship, loss and pain blurring into one big rush that travelled from where their lips met, all the way to his toes, leaving him lightheaded and feeling like he was floating. Arthur’s lips were soft and careful, and Merlin placed a hand on Arthur’s cheek as they pulled apart, panting, just as the last lines of the song started playing.

I know I’ve loved you before

I’ve loved you before.

Arthur grinned as he broke the silence first by saying, “I’m still hungry, Merlin.” Merlin laughed, tipping his head back.

“Well, the eggs should be done by now.” He pulled away, but took one of Arthur’s hands in his own, pulling him towards the kitchen. 

They still had so much to figure out and an immense pile of things they had yet to understand, but in this moment they were happy and content, and for once Merlin let himself get lost in that feeling. It wasn’t everything, but it was something. 

————————————————————————

Inspired by this post by @brolin-truelove

Constructive criticism appreciated! I hope you liked it 😊

[dune-thedewcollectors]

Gurney the Valorous. Jeez I certainly hope not. A lovely thing happened to me this morning and then a not so lovely thing later. I wonder how Stewart and Brolin would have handled the rage that fires within at this moment. I'm guessing the former would Shakespearean voice his way through the emotion and soliloquy some smart alec retort. The latter? The Desert eagle and pop a cap in his ass? Point being Gurney is not Valorous, oh but he is honourable, like thieves honour. Remember how he fought Paul that day the lowdown groin strike with the point, while 'is this what you seek?' with the slow blade penetrates the shield above.

Gurney understands loyalty is fickle and a mood fit for cattle. Mine wanes according to the respect I am accorded. And I was accorded none and I've acted accordingly. Seven days of the Condor so the movie is titled so there is a stay of a week while I contemplate the way forward and edit proofread my shorty. Gurney for me was betrayed thrice by Atreides. Leto when he unnecessarily risked and died, Paul when he lost his way as Emperor and Jessica when she betrayed him as his lover.

Go figure? While, 'like an ass in the desert, off to I - to my work.'

[grigori77]

2018 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 2)

20.  OVERLORD – 2018’s chief runner-up for horror movie of the year is brash, noisy and spectacularly glossy, but also fiendishly inventive and surprisingly original given that it borrows its central concept from several older, schlockier offerings.  Originally touted as the fourth film in the Cloverfield “franchise”, time (and producer J.J. Abrams) has told, and this is in fact entirely its own thing – an action-packed horror thriller set in the explosive midst of World War II’s D-Day landings. Nearly the entire narrative thrust of the film revolves around US Army Private Ed Boyce (Fences’ Jovan Adepo), a gentle, shy draftee who’s part of an Airborne squad sent to jump in ahead of the Normandy invasion and knock out a German radio tower built on an old church, but when their plane gets shot down over the drop-zone he winds up one of a ragtag team of only five survivors, led by young but battle-hardened veteran Corporal Ford (Everybody Wants Some! star Wyatt Russell, son of Kurt), who insists they complete their mission.  When they reach the tower, however, they find the town under the control of an SS company led by Captain Wafner (Game of Thrones’ Pilou Asbæk), who spearheads an unholy experimental research project attempting to bring dead German soldiers back as unstoppable zombie killing machines.  It’s a deceptively simple premise, but from this little acorn has grown a mighty oak of a film, a thunderous, non-stop thrill-ride that cranks up the tension within minutes of the start and never lets up thereafter, keeping us drawn out on a knife’s edge for long stretches of unbearable suspense when it’s not hurling a series of intense and brutal set-pieces at us, some of the most bravura sequences playing out in audaciously long single-take tracking shots.  Relative newcomer director Julius Avery may have been an unknown quantity (he only had one feature to his name before this, so-so Aussie heist thriller Son of a Gun), but he’s taken to this challenging project like an old hand, showing the kind of amazing talent and seasoned skill that really make you want to see what he’s going to do next, while screenwriters Billy Ray (The Hunger Games, Captain Phillips) and Mark L. Smith (Vacancy, The Revenant) have taken the seemingly clichéd material and crafted something rewardingly fresh and inventively nasty, the kind of body horror gorehounds go proper nuts for. The cast are also uniformly excellent – Adepo is a likeably vulnerable hero who finds his courage over the course of the film, so his transition from timid boy to avenging badass is pleasingly believable, while Russell proves just how much like his dad he is by investing Ford with a fierce single-minded drive and an earthy physicality destined to make him a powerful action star; there’s also strong support from John Magaro (Not Fade Away, Jack Ryan) and Agents of SHIELD star Iain De Caestecker as fellow Airborne troops Tibbet and Chase and newcomer Mathilde Ollivier as Chloe, the tough, take-no-shit local girl who helps the squad, while Asbæk pretty much steals the film as Wafner, a major-league creepy, gleefully sadistic psychopath who’s just as memorably monstrous as his ruined creations.  Altogether this is a magnificent breakthrough for a promising new talent and one of the best action horrors I’ve seen in years, such a spectacular and memorable film it didn’t need the implied Cloverfield connection to get any attention.

19.  SICARIO 2: SOLDADO – screenwriter Taylor Sheridan has been a particularly strong blip on my one-to-watch radar for a few years now, impressing with modest sleeper hit Hell Or High Water and making an astonishing directorial debut with the (literal) ice-cold Wind River, but his greatest achievement remains 2015’s tour-de-force suspense thriller Sicario, the film that made his name and also turned up-and-comer director Denis Villeneuve into a genuine superstar (leading to him helming his masterpiece, Blade Runner 2049).  Straight away I wanna make it painfully clear – this is NOT as good as the first film, the lack of Emily Blunt’s spectacular character’s grounding presence and Villeneuve’s truly AWESOME flair meaning it just can’t reach its predecessor’s intoxicating heights.  But as sequels go this is an absolute belter, and there’s no denying Sicario’s dark and edgy world was one I was really itching to return to, so this is still an undeniable treat.  New director Stefano Sollima may not be the seminal master the man who kicked off the franchise is, but he’s certainly got some well-suited, heavyweight talent of his own, having cut his teeth on cult Italian crime shows like Gomorrah and Romanzo Criminale, and his own breakout thriller All Cops Are Bastards, and he definitely revives the first film’s oppressive moral darkness and relentless atmosphere of implied, inherent threat.  Blunt may be out, but her co-stars are back in the same fine form they displayed in their first outing – Josh Brolin is at his reliable best as slovenly CIA special ops master Matt Graver, his shit-eating grin present and correct even if he is still rocking his intimidating Deadpool 2 build, while Benicio Del Toro finally gets to take centre stage as his chief asset, Colombian lawyer-turned-assassin Alejandro Gillick, still itching for the chance to put the hurt on the brutal Mexican drug cartel that killed his family and destroyed his old life.  There’s still a strong female presence in the cast too – Transformers: the Last Knight’s Isabela Moner is a little spitfire of adolescent entitlement as Isabela Reyes, the kingpin’s daughter who becomes a pawn in Graver’s government-backed plan to trigger a cartel civil war and tear them apart from the inside, while the always excellent Catherine Keener is a dangerously classy ice queen as Cynthia Forbes, the high-ranking CIA controller overseeing the operation – while there’s quality support from the likes of Matthew Modine, Burn Notice’s Jeffrey Donovan (reprising his role from the first film as Graver’s lieutenant Steve Forsing) and a particularly memorable turn from Bruno Bichir as Angel, a deaf-mute Mexican farmer who’s suffered his own hardships at the hands of the cartels.  This is very much Del Toro’s film, though, the method master thoroughly inhabiting his role and once again bringing that dead-eyed lethality to bear while he paradoxically makes us care about and root for a ruthless, cold-blooded killer.  As with the first film, this is a simply MESMERISING thriller, gritty and edgy as it revels in its raw, forensic attention to detail, ruthless intelligence and densely-woven, serpent twisty plotting, and once again delivers magnificently in the action camp with a series of brutal, pulse-pounding bullet-riddled action sequences.  Enthralling, unflinching and beautiful in a desolate, windswept kind of way, this is every inch the sequel Sicario deserved, and thriller cinema at its best.  Taylor Sheridan’s written another winner.

18.  YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE – this unstoppable underdog sleeper hit is a twisted beast, a film that makes you so uncomfortable it’s almost unwatchable, but you can’t look away, nor would you really want to.  It’s a troubling film, but it’s INCREDIBLE.  Then again, it is pretty much what we’ve come to expect from acclaimed filmmaker Lynn Ramsay, writer/director of controversial but highly-regarded films like Ratcatcher, Morvern Callar and, of course, We Need To Talk About Kevin, and this adaptation of Jonathan Ames’ novel fits in with that lofty company like the missing piece in a jigsaw puzzle. It’s a short, (razor) sharp shock of a film, its slender 90 minute running time perfectly trimmed of excess fat, its breathless pace drawing us in while its pervading sense of impending doom keeps us uneasy.  Joaquin Phoenix delivers one of the best performances of his career as Joe, a combat veteran and former FBI agent who hires out his services rescuing kidnapped and trafficked girls, usually delivering brutal retribution on those responsible in the process; he’s also a very troubled human being, his crippling battle-trauma merely compounding much more deep-seeded damage resulting from a horribly abusive childhood, only able to find real peace caring for his housebound elderly mother (Orange Is the New Black’s Judith Anna Roberts).  So when his latest assignment from trusted handler John McCleary (The Wire and Gotham’s John Doman) – finding Nina (Wonderstruck’s Ekaterina Samsonov), the missing daughter of New York Senator Albert Votto (Alex Manette) – goes horribly wrong, Joe finds his world imploding and lashes out with all the bloodthirsty violence he can muster.  Phoenix is mesmerising, his deceptively subtle performance hinting at a human being mentally unravelling before our eyes, but he’s also like a cornered beast when roused, attacking enemies (both real and perceived) with wince-inducing viciousness; Samsonov and Roberts are both similarly impressive, while a late entrance from 90s indie darling Alessandro Nivola is a welcome, game-changing breath of fresh air.  Typically for Ramsay, this is a work of mood and atmosphere first and foremost, an air of breathy anticipation and moody introspection colouring many scenes, but she still weaves a compelling story and quickens the pulse with some blistering, blood-soaked set-pieces, rushing us along on a heady mix of righteous fury and troublingly twisted catharsis before dumping us, breathless and shell-shocked, at the unsettling yet strangely uplifting climactic denouement. This was one of the year’s most haunting films, and further proof of the undeniable talents of one of cinema’s most important filmmakers.

17.  FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD – 2016 saw stratospherically successful author J.K. Rowling return to the Wizarding World she created in her Harry Potter books with a completely original film set decades before that series, introducing us to a new, albeit much earlier group of magical adventurers, chief among them Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne), a kind, oddball and brilliantly intelligent expert on mystical, supernatural creatures.  The film was, inevitably, a massive hit, guaranteeing a follow-up (or four, as we’re now being guaranteed no less than FIVE films in total in this new series), and two years later we return to the Wizarding World of the late 1920s to find things are getting a little darker and A LOT more dangerous.  Notorious dark wizard Gellert Grindelwald (Johnny Depp), captured at the end of the first film, has escaped his prison (in the film’s most spectacular, jaw-dropping set-piece) and is now hiding out in Paris, gathering his supporters and searching for the ultimate weapon which will help him in his dastardly plot to enslave the muggles – Credence Barebone (Justice League’s Ezra Miller), the powerful Obscurus who survived his apparent death in New York and is now searching for the truth about who he really is. Grindelwald isn’t the only one hunting him – aurors from the British and American Ministries of Magic are hot on his trail, among others, while Hogwarts teacher Professor Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law) has convinced his favourite former student, Newt, to try and find him before he can be killed or corrupted.  David Yates, the director of ALL Rowling adaptations since Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire, has consistently brought this rich, exotic and endlessly inventive world to potent, vital life on the big screen, and his SEVENTH tour of duty proves to be no exception – this is EXACTLY the kind of rip-roaring fantastical romp we’ve come to expect from his collaborations with Rowling, albeit taking a turn into darker, more grown-up territory for this second chapter in the new saga as the stakes are raised and the first battle-lines are drawn.  There are revelations and twists and surprises aplenty throughout, some genuine jaw-dropping, gut-punch moments among them, and it moves the story into particularly fertile ground for what’s still to come.  The returning cast are just as impressive this time around, each character arc moving forward in interesting and compelling ways – Redmayne is as likeable as ever as Newt, but invests fresh purpose and a new, steely resolve now he’s chosen a side in the conflict to come, while it’s fascinating (and more than a little heartbreaking) watching Jacob and Queenie (Dan Fogle and Alison Sudol), the star-crossed muggle/witch lovers, tackle the harsh realities of their problematic romance, and Miller is deeply affecting as a lost soul desperate for long-hidden truths and a sense of belonging – and there are some equally notable (relatively) new faces added to the roster too – Claudia Kim’s Nagini, the soulful Maledictus tragically cursed to someday become trapped in the form of Voldemort’s giant snake, is frustratingly underused but extremely memorable nonetheless, and I can only hope we’ll get a more substantial introduction to Newt’s more confident and successful war hero brother Theseus (Callum Turner) in future instalments, but Zoe Kravitz gets a killer role as the third point in the Scamander love triangle, Leta Lestrange, Newt’s oldest and closest friend but Theseus’ fiancée, and she’s FANTASTIC throughout, while Depp finally gets to really sink his teeth into the role of the most feared man in the Wizarding World until You-Know-Who showed up, investing Grindelwald with just the kind of subtle, seductive brilliance needed to make him such a compelling villain.  The best new addition, however, is Jude Law, the THIRD actor to date to play Dumbledore, and I’m sorely tempted to say he might be the best of the bunch, PERFECTLY capturing the cool ease and irreverent charm of Rowling’s character as well as (obviously) lending him a much more vital, youthful swagger that’s sure to serve him well in the subsequent films.  This has proven to be something of a marmite film, dividing opinions and being called “needlessly complicated” or “overburdened”, but I never saw that – there’s much to enjoy here, and it feels as fresh, rewarding and downright entertaining as any of its predecessors.  As far as I’m concerned this leaves the series in SPECTACULAR shape, and I can’t wait to see where we go from here.

16.  FIRST MAN – when it comes to true life tales of great courage and epic achievement, you can’t get much bigger than the first man to walk on the Moon, and it’s a subject that’s been revisited again and again over the years.  And yet, until now there’s never really been a film that’s truly brought it to true vivid life like other space-exploration stories have in the lofty likes of Apollo 13 and The Right Stuff.  It seems like Hollywood had to think outside the box to get this one to work, and it turns out that Damien Chazelle, Oscar-winning director of La La Land and Whiplash, was the offbeat talent for the job. Taking a much more gritty, documentary-style approach to the story, he presents the story of NASA’s immensely ambitious Apollo programme as a low-key procedural, seeming far more interested in the nuts-and-bolts details than the grand, sweeping adventures of legend. That’s not to say that there aren’t big moments – there are PLENTY, from a terrifyingly claustrophobic sequence revolving around a life-threatening malfunction during one of the earlier, feet-finding capsule flights to the stirring, spectacular Moon-landing itself – but many of the film’s biggest fireworks are emotional, which is just where Chazelle seems to be moist comfortable.  The film is thoroughly DOMINATED by his regular acting collaborator Ryan Gosling, whose characteristic laconic internalisation is a perfect fit for Neil Armstrong, a man trapped at the heart of immense historical events and haunted by deep personal tragedy who nonetheless maintains a steely cool and perfectly professional demeanour, but Claire Foy is just as important as Armstrong’s much put-upon wife Janet, whose emotional turmoil in the face of his potential impending death is a harrowing thing, and she delivers a mesmerizingly powerful performance that proves the perfect ferocious fire to Gosling’s understated ice; there’s also a truly stunning ensemble supporting cast on offer here, an embarrassment of riches that includes Jason Clarke, Kyle Chandler, Patrick Fugit, Shea Whigham and the mighty Ciaran Hinds.  Chazelle has directed another cracker here, emotionally rich and endlessly fascinating, visually unique and consistently surprising, with the kind of power and pathos that all but GUARANTEES great things to come during Awards season, and he’s helped enormously by a cracking script from Oscar-winning Spotlight writer Josh Singer and an offbeat but thoroughly arresting score from his regular musical collaborator Justin Hurwitz.  Challenging, uplifting and impossible to forget, this truly deserves to be ranked among the other great Space Race movies.

15.  BUMBLEBEE – I find it telling, and maybe a little damning, that it wasn’t until Michael Bay stepped back from the director’s chair and settled for the role of producer that we FINALLY got a truly GREAT Transformers movie.  There’s no denying his films have been visually striking and certainly diverting, but even at their best they were loud, dumb throwaway fun, while at their worst they pretty much SHAT on our collective nostalgic memory of their source material.  When this new “standalone” film was first announced, I was deeply sceptical, expecting more of the same, a shameless cash-in on the popularity of one the robotic cast’s most iconic members.  How glad I am to have been proven wrong for once – Bumblebee is much more than just a shot in the arm for a flagging franchise, it’s a perfect chance for them to start again, a perfectly pitched, stripped back little wonder that finally captures the true wonder and pure, primary-coloured FUN of the original toy line and Saturday morning cartoon show. It also marks the live-action debut of director Travis Knight, who cut his teeth creating stunning stop-motion animation for Laika (makers of Coraline) before bringing the studio monumental acclaim with his first helming gig on the AWESOME Kubo & the Two Strings, and he proves JUST as adept at wringing powerful, palpable emotions from flesh-and-blood (and digital) actors as he is with miniature wire-frame puppets.  Essentially a prequel/origin story, this tells the story of how lone Autobot scout Bumblebee first came to Earth, and it’s a much simpler and more archetypal film than we’re used to, a cool simplification that works wonders – he’s back in his classic VW Beetle chassis and a good deal more vulnerable now, while this might be the best we’ve seen Hailee Steinfeld, who stars as Charlie Watson, the 19-year old girl he befriends.  She’s an awkward, geeky kid, cast adrift by recent loss and trying to make things right in her life again, and her VERY unique new car certainly fills a major gap for her; Love, Simon’s Jorge Lendeborg is a lovably dorky puppy-dog as her new next-door neighbour and would-be boyfriend Memo, while Californication’s Pamela Adlon is sweet but steely as Charlie’s good-natured but somewhat exasperated mother Sally; the film is frequently stolen, however, by the mighty John Cena, who’s always had a powerful gift for comedy and is clearly having the time of his life hamming it up as he gamely pastiches his action hero persona.  There’s also a refreshing drop in the number of robots on display here – with Transformers, less is clearly more, and there’s far greater pleasure to be had in watching Bumblebee on his own trying to hold his own against the film’s two main savage villains, Decepticon headhunters Shatter (voiced with creepy confidence by Angela Bassett) and Dropkick (a brilliantly sociopathic turn from Justin Theroux), both of whom are MUCH more well-drawn than the series’ average bad guys.  This is a FANTASTIC film, the Transformers movie we’ve always deserved – the 80s period setting is EXQUISITELY captured (from the killer soundtrack to Charlie’s whole punk rock vibe, clearly styled after Joan Jett), the general tone is played very much for laughs but the humour no longer feels forced or childish, much more sophisticated here than in the average Bay-fest, and there are some spectacular action sequences that are this time VERY MUCH in service to the story.  The film was written by relative newcomer Christina Hodgson, mostly just known for Unforgettable while three of her screenplays languish on the Black List of Hollywood’s best unproduced scripts, and on the strength of this I CAN’T WAIT to see more from her – she’s already penned the coming Birds of Prey movie for DC, which I’m absolutely champing at the bit to see, and has now been signed up to write the Batgirl movie too, so we shouldn’t have long to wait.  This has already been favourably compared to The Iron Giant, one of my favourite animated features EVER, and I can wholeheartedly agree with that opinion – this is EXACTLY what we’ve been waiting for in a Transformers movie, and if it’s a sign of things to come then I wholeheartedly approve.  More of this, please!

14.  READY PLAYER ONE – Steven Spielberg is one of my very favourite directors, a peerless master of cinema whose iconic blockbusters have fuelled my imagination and captured my heart since early childhood.  Of course, he’s also a hugely talented auteur whose more serious work is rightly regarded as some of the most important moving picture art of all time (Schindler’s List is, of course, a given, but I for one am also MASSIVELY enamoured of the undeniable power and uncompromising maturity of Munich), but I’ve always found him at his best when he makes films to entertain the popcorn-munching masses. His most welcome return to true escapist cinema comes in the form of a magnificent adaptation of the one of the most singularly geeky novels of the 21st Century, Ernest Cline’s meticulous love letter to 80s pop culture and nerd nostalgia, a book which was itself HEAVILY influenced by Spielberg’s own most enduring works.  There’s something deeply meta in him tackling the material, then, but the Beard keeps his own potentially self-serving references to the bare minimum, instead letting the book’s other major influences come to the fore as well as allowing Cline himself (adapting his own book alongside Marvel heavyweight Zak Penn (X2 and The Avengers to name but a few) to introduce some new elements of his own.  There’s some definite streamlining, but it’s always in service to the story and helps things to work as well as they can cinematically, and besides, NO ONE does this kind of thing better than the Beard … anyway, to the uninitiated, RPO takes place in and around the OASIS, the gargantuan VR universe that the overpopulated, rundown world of the future has become ubiquitously addicted to, now considered the Earth’s greatest resource, and the setting for an epic hunt for an “Easter Egg” left by its deceased wunderkind creator, James Halliday (another brilliant, immersive turn from Spielberg’s current favourite acting collaborator, Mark Rylance), which will bestow its discoverer with unimaginable riches and ownership of the OASIS itself.  The main thrust of the story is the battle of wills between geeky slum kid “Gunter” (essentially a pop culture-obsessed treasure hunting expert on all things Halliday) Wade Watts, aka Parzival (X-Men’s Tye Sheridan) and Nolan Sorrento (Ben Mendelsohn), the reptilian CEO of IOI (Innovative Online Industries), the evil multinational that wants to seize control of the OASIS, no matter the cost – it’s a high stakes game indeed, as Wade finds his actions in the wild, imagination-is-the-only-limit online world can have very serious consequences on his own life in reality.  It’s suitably exciting and action packed then, but there’s a real sense of fun and irreverent joy to proceedings that’s been somewhat lacking from many of Spielberg’s films of late, especially in the insane inventiveness of the OASIS itself, a universe where you can be and do absolutely ANYTHING, and where Halliday’s nostalgic pop culture loves have been embraced by society at large in  MAJOR WAY … hence the GIGANTIC potential for spot-the-reference in virtually every scene – seriously, this is one of those movies that REALLY rewards repeat viewing.  Sheridan is a very likeable hero, a plucky and resourceful young dreamer you can’t help rooting for, while Mendelsohn gave us one of the year’s best screen villains, the kind of oily scumbag you just love to hate; Bates Motel’s Olivia Cooke is just the spunky little badass you imagined fellow Gunter Art3mis to be, but with bonus realism and vulnerability, Master of None actress/writer Lena Waithe is pleasingly awkward in spite of her intimidating avatar as Wade’s best friend Aech, T.J. Miller frequently steals the film as intimidating but seriously nerdy bounty hunter I-ROK, and Philip Zhao and Win Morisaki make for a lovably goofy double act as samurai/ninja obsessives Shoto and Daisho, while Simon Pegg is his usual warm and fuzzy self as OASIS co-creator Ogden Morrow.  This is a gloriously OTT visual extravaganza brimming with fandom appeal and MASSIVE nostalgia value, a thrilling escapist adventure packed with precision-crafted and endlessly inventive action, and a consistently laugh-out-loud comic classic stuffed with knowing one-liners and genius sight gags … and of course, this being Spielberg, TONS of emotional heft and genuine, saccharine-free pathos.  I could gripe about the fact that without John Williams on the score it doesn’t feel QUITE right, but that would be a lie – the choice to instead go with Alan Silvestri is actually a genius fit for the film, the composer unleashing his very best work since the Back to the Future trilogy.  This is EXACTLY what we’ve come to expect from the original MASTER of the popcorn-crowd blockbuster, and it’s a genuine pleasure to have him back doing what he does best.

13.  INCREDIBLES 2 – writer-director Brad Bird (The Iron Giant, Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, Tomorrowland) is the man responsible for what I consider to be Disney-affiliated animation studio Pixar’s finest hour – forget Toy Story, Finding Nemo or Inside Out (although I admit they’re also f£$%ing awesome), 2004’s The Incredibles is where I place my allegiances.  Of course, it helps that Bird and co essentially created an unofficial Fantastic Four movie four years before the MCU even got started, back when the X-Men movies were in their prime the first time round – I’m an unashamed comic book geek and I LOVE superhero movies, so this was cinematic catnip for me. Needless to say, like many other instant fans I CRIED OUT for more, and got increasingly restless as Pixar cranked out sequel after sequel for their other big hitters but remained frustratingly silent on the matter of their own super-family.  Finally (and, interestingly, just as the MCU celebrated its own tenth anniversary) they delivered, and MY GOD what a gem it is. Brad Bird has achieved the impossible, matching the first film for wow-factor and geek-gasm, picking up RIGHT where the first film left off (seriously, we finally get to see the chaos that ensued after John Ratzenberger’s Underminer emerged in The Incredibles’ closing moments) with an instantly familiar yet refreshingly different tale of newly-united super-family the Parrs as they make their faltering first steps as a bona fide superhero TEAM.  I don’t want to give much more away – this is a film best watched good and cold – suffice to say that father Bob/Mr Incredible (Poltergeist’s perfect screen dad, Craig T. Nelson) and mother Helen/Elastigirl (the always wonderful Holly Hunter) face new challenges as they attempt to balance their revitalised crime-fighting careers with keeping their family from imploding under the weight of much more down-to-earth problems, from daughter Violet (Sarah Vowell) suffering teenage heartbreak to son Dash (Huckleberry Milner, taking over for previous vocal talent Spencer Fox) struggling with “New Math” … as well as, in one of the film’s strongest storylines, infant Jack-Jack’s newly-emerged superpowers, which lead to some BRILLIANT moments of truly inspired humour and occasional full-on WEIRDNESS.  Needless to say the external fireworks are just as impressive as the domestics – there’s a cool new villain in the form of tech-savvy puppet-master the Screenslaver (Bill Wise), who puts Helen through her paces as she stumbles onto a truly diabolical criminal conspiracy – the set-pieces are as strong as the first film’s, a spectacularly ballistic chase after a runaway train particularly impressing, while Bird and co have come up with rewardingly fresh moments to up the power ante from the series opener and show off the established characters’ talents in new ways, as well as introducing some great new supers to the mix (pick of the crop is Sophia Bush’s lovably awkward wormhole-juggler Void). The returnees are all as strong as they were first time round (including Samuel L. Jackson’s super-cool iceman Frozone), while there are memorable new faces to enjoy too, particularly the Incredibles’ born-fanboy tycoon sponsor Winston Deavor (Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul’s Bob Odenkirk) and his cynical scientist sister Evelyn (Catherine Keener), but once again the film is thoroughly stolen by Bird himself, even more hilarious in his short but ever-so-sweet role as thoroughly unique fashion mogul Edna Mode.  Fun, thrilling and packed with DEEP belly-laughs, this is JUST as strong as the first film, a pitch-perfect continuation that pays off its predecessor beautifully while boldly carving new ground for what looks set to be a bright future indeed … let’s just hope we don’t have to wait another FOURTEEN YEARS this time round, okay?

12.  ANT-MAN & THE WASP – 2018 was indeed the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s TENTH ANNIVERSARY, and their summer season offering OFFICIALLY made it three for three in the year’s hit parade, following runaway smash Black Panther and Avengers: Infinity War, the culmination of the ten year big screen phenomenon that began with Iron Man way back in 2008.  In the heady aftermath of the series’ all-conquering behemoth, the second screen outing of the Avenger’s “smallest” member may seem like something of an afterthought, but trust me, this is anything but.  The last time we saw Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), he was languishing in a hi-tech prison after coming to Captain America’s aid in 2016’s Civil War, and his absence from the Infinity War roster was not only noticeable but truly frustrating, but now, at last, we find out WHY he was a no-show.  Scott took a deal to protect his family, and is now finishing up a two year stint under house arrest, clearly going a little stir-crazy as a result, but he’s been able to stay in touch with his beloved daughter Cassie (Abbie Ryder Fortson, still adorable but growing up REALLY FAST) and form a new security firm with his best friend Luis (Michael Peña), cleverly named “X-Con Security”.  He’s also been long out of contact with his mentor and original Ant-Man Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and his maybe girlfriend Hope Van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly), Hank’s daughter, after essentially stealing the Ant-Man suit to go break the law in Germany, thus turning his one-time allies into wanted fugitives, but they re-enter his life at the worst possible time when it becomes clear that Scott holds the key to returning Hank’s wife Janet (a small but potent role for Michelle Pfeiffer) from the seemingly impenetrable reaches of the Quantum Realm.  With us so far?  Yeah, the plot’s a bit of a head-spinner – and it gets even MORE complicated once a brand new threat emerges in the form of the Ghost (Killjoys’ Hannah John-Kamen), a lethal assassin who can phase through various physical states (frequently turning her into a LITERAL phantom), who’s determined to get her hands on Hank’s new quantum tunnelling tech – but as with the first film (and its closest MCU kin, the Guardians of the Galaxy), this is really just the backdrop for another laugh-out-loud comedy caper.  Returning director Peyton Reed now officially makes Ant-Man his own (finally getting out from under the big shadow cast by the first film’s almost-helmer Edgar Wright), cranking the laugh-meter up even higher while also increasing the emotional weight and underlying dramatic heft of the central plot, as the dysfunctional surrogate family of Team Pym struggle to get back together after circumstances tore them apart – there are moments of genuine, heartstring-tugging power strung throughout, although they really just serve to temper the steady string of snappy one-liners, inspired sight-gags and, of course, Peña’s constant, riotous scene-stealing.  He really does come dangerously close to running away with the entire film, but the rest of the cast are too strong to really let that happen – Rudd is really getting into the whole action-man thing now, but he remains consistently, pitch-perfectly HILARIOUS, while Lilly finally gets to properly jump into the action herself now that Hope has officially succeeded her mother as the second generation of the Wasp, Ant-Man’s hard-hitting, high-flying and seriously badass partner, and Michael Douglas gets a much bigger, far more active role this time round.  This film’s weak-link may be its villain, with the Ghost ultimately proving a little one-note and ineffectual as a threat, but there’s no denying John-Kamen is a spectacular actress with a bright future, and her character certainly is distinctive, with a tragic back-story and personal drive that makes her rewardingly sympathetic; besides, there’s additional antagonism from slimy black market dealer Sonny Burch (the ever-reliable Walton Goggins), who’s also out to steal Hank’s tech, and The Interview’s Randall Park as Jimmy Woo, the brilliantly nerdy FBI agent keeping a close eye on Scott, while Laurence Fishburne is complex and ambiguous as Hank’s bitter one-time project partner Bill Foster.  Reed once again delivers big-time on the action front too, wrangling some cracking fights and chases to get pulses racing amidst all the laughs, as well as finding plenty of inspired new ways to shake things up with Scott and Hope’s abilities to shrink (and now grow to truly MASSIVE scale) at will, and everything builds to a pleasingly powerful but also very fun ending that makes this a perfect family-night-out movie.  And, of course, there’s also two cut-scenes interspersing the end credits – the second is amusing but ultimately throwaway, but the first is CRUCIALLY important to the post-Infinity War playing field of the series as a whole.  Ultimately this was the LEAST impressive of the year’s MCU offerings, but that’s not a detraction – it’s just that, while this is really awesome, its predecessors are just EVEN MORE so.  Another absolute winner from Marvel, then.

11.  HOLD THE DARK – Neflix Originals’ best feature film of 2018 was this revenge thriller from Jeremy Saulnier, acclaimed director of Blue Ruin and Green Room, which marks his fourth collaboration with lifelong friend and regular acting collaborator Macon Blair (here also serving as screenwriter), adapted from the novel by William Giraldi.  It’s a dark, bleak and introspective affair, an approach which goes well with its absolutely stunning but bitterly inhospitable Alaskan wilderness setting, an environment which, through Saulnier’s eye and the stylish lens of cinematographer Magnus Nordenhof Jønck, is as brutal and bloodthirsty as it is beautiful.  Jeffrey Wright is typically understated but majestic as Russell Core, a writer who studies the behaviour of wolves, who is drawn to the remote Alaskan town of Keelut by grieving mother Medora Sloane (Mad max: Fury Road’s Riley Keough), who wants him to hunt the wolf she claims is responsible for killing her six year old son so she has something to show to her husband, Vernon (Alexander Skarsgård), when he returns from the war in Iraq. Soon enough, however, it becomes clear to Core that something else is going on in Keelut, and the deeper he digs for the truth the more horrific the revelations become, leading to deadly confrontations and a whole lot of blood.  Saulnier is a master at creating a relentless atmosphere of skin-crawling dread and unbearable tension, taking his time building the suspense to breaking point before finally unleashing all that pent up pressure in one hell of a centrepiece set-piece, a blistering, drawn-out shootout in the snow that’ll leave fingernails bitten down to the quick, but he also frequently exercises a flair for subtle, contemplative introspection, just as happy to let quieter moments breathe to create scenes of breathless, aching beauty or eerie, haunting discomfort.  Wright is a strong, grounding influence throughout the film, further anchored by the simple, honest decency of James Badge Dale’s put-upon small-town sheriff Donald Marium, but most everyone else is damaged or downright twisted in one form or another – Keough is truly batshit crazy, floating through the film like a silent wraith with big empty eyes, while Skarsgård is a stone-cold killing machine as he embarks on a relentless, blood-soaked quest for vengeance, and relative unknown Julian Black Antelope sears himself into your memory as vengeful grief drives him to explosive self destruction.  This is a desolate and devastating film, but there are immense rewards to be found in its depths, and there’s a sense of subtle, fragile hope in to be found in the closing moments – this film is guaranteed to stay with you long after the credits have rolled, another gold-standard thriller from two truly masterful talents.

[asnazu]

Merthur saves the day

Today my brother kicked me out od our flat, because his “lady friend” was coming over.

(If you knew my brother, you would know that lady friend = miracle, so I was really shocked. But it probably really was a girl because I saw my brother clean for the first time. I never saw him lift a finger, today he vaccumed and even organised his room and a livingroom.)

Still I was slightly pissed, like what am I supposed to do for three hours? So I took Da Vinci Code and went to my favourite cafe in my hometown. Suddenly they were playing familiar song on the radio and after a while I realised it was John Farnham’s You’re the Voice. I remembered the Brolin video and my mood lifted.

Video

[addictiveking]

iw cont’d

funnily enough i went into work only to be sent home so i could have just done all this last night

why does it take 40 min to get to this kind of pacing? i don’t 

i want a donut so dang bad

and steves hair... kisses fingers 

gamora flash back? 

Don’t Like That Energy

forget how i killed ya mom, check out this sweet knife trick i learned

damn 0 to ya mother

great scene coloring i love this and im glad they smooching but fuck this-

YES

DRAX!!!!!!!! ok i know im being extra but i just screamed 2x

mantis!

weird energy on the opening of these two.... maybe its josh brolin bein 2 sexy... and his head so fuckin big i can’t handle looking at him

drax.... honey........ shhhhhhhhhdon’t

cause you a big BITCH thats why thanos, damn

what the fuck like i Get killing ya dad is Emotional but this feels staged 

oh ya

thats a loki move right there.  mass glamour spell?

oh 

pardon

ok thats just Gross and not needed

long term booty call.. peter why you like this

feelsbadjpg....

ok this feels ooc.... kissing and admission of love in the same movie?  

thank god drax is ok. i truly forget how many these fuckers die and i am just dead inside

is this hologram height bull shit necessary? were they just like ‘ok we need to spend this CGI somewhere guys!!’

ya im lookin at u scarjo

ok... @god what do i got 2 do to not see this......... THANK U SAM FFS

has anyone edited vision as that scene where janet says ‘kill me’ but with vision?  

vision is smarter than y’all. im sorry but is this tony’s fault that someone else has to destroy him? or was that even explicitly stated....

when did steve go to wakanda? oh fuck i do not recall anything from civil war or whatever 1 they were in together fuck

u are so GROUNDED!!!!! >:O

who just saved ur magical ass

ok i am having a hard time liking ur plan

ya i knew she was gonna do that

ya via death u fucker

ok this was very The Cell and i’m dead

i love thor......... i see you my little optimist 

damn thats a mood

that was in he butt.................

lol is that peter dinklage? 

mantis.. mr. lord.... 

WHAT

ok feels like he is gonna drop her but she isn’t strong enuff to kick him off this bitch? ???

this is fuckedddd

did i know bucky was in this?

also i love shuri

fuck yes.... thor my son

ok thats just cheating.......

is thor really gonna??? i don

[shepgeek]

Infinity Chore

Warning- FULL SPOILERS

 “And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain,

he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer."

 I really should know more about Alexander the Great, given his name is both my middle name and also my Son’s first name. I know he was a warrior, who, in certainty of his own righteousness, killed lots of people and I wonder if the film makers held him in mind for their main character here? That quotation seemed an apt place to begin reflecting on Infinity War, since the main takeaway from a first viewing will surely be that final unexpected revelation that Thanos is, in fact, the hero of this piece. Indeed the very final promise that “Thanos will return” was probably my favourite moment in the film, staying true to its convictions right till the death. I saw this film on its opening weekend at a sold out IMAX screening where hundreds of residents of Britain’s second biggest city gathered to create a pre-screening atmosphere of almost tangible excitement. Upon leaving, however, I experienced a genuinely remarkable mood that was unlike any other I have ever felt before. One boy in his early teens was incredulous when talking to his Mother, sounding confused by his assumption prior to the film that this was meant to be the “last one”. Another lad (aged about 6, so why he was there was anybody’s guess) responded to his Father stating that the story “clearly wasn’t finished” replied simply with: “yes it was, Thanos won.” The Dad then went on to say “well obviously there will be another” before moving beyond my hearing, but I think this boy understood the film perfectly and just as Kevin Feige intended. Indeed when I look again at the Alexander quotation, it puts me more in mind of Feige- Marvel have stood at the summit of blockbuster cinema for a decade now and have crafted hit after monster hit from material that, when it was famously put up for sale, was not deemed worthy of any interest from the major studios. Their triumph was stupendous, their legacy assured and now, when faced with the problem of having exhausted their own source material, they have hit on this film as their remarkable solution and yet, although such a genuine surprise feels it should be rewarded, the more that time passes since I saw the film, the less I like it.

 Legacy

Why would anyone rewatch this film 10 years from now?

I wonder what its legacy will be, apart from on how spoilers are managed. Upon leaving the cinema I was mightily impressed by the artistic courage to suddenly punch an audience in the balls, but found that hard to reconcile with the feeling of having just been punched in the balls.  This film feels less of a story than an animated flowchart, with a screenplay not unlike a lego manual, sequentially assembling (natch) the characters via increasingly desperate battles but, unlike the first Avengers film (with its witty lightness of foot and themes of family, power and righteousness) there is little broader storytelling afoot. It feels like Marvel knew that the audience demanded of them to make this colossal unification film and, in so losing their ability to control the story, have opted for a conveyor belt of CGI and one liners to culminate in the final mega meta twist. This would work pretty well as a comic, but the lack of both thematic and character development (I struggle to recall anything approaching an arc in anyone except, at a push Gamorrah & Nebula) undermines the emotional impact.

Who would revisit this film then? I’ve always been a fan of Thor, especially in Branagh’s wittily pompous opera which, for my money, was cheaply discarded for goofiness in the flippant and messily indulgent Ragnarok. Here, however, the God of Thunder is used to glue franchises together, veering within minutes from devastated holocaust survivor to pompous wisecracker, and manages only a faded caricature. After having his entire social circle casually terminated earlier in the year, Thor then swiftly loses his best friend (who, bafflingly, chooses to save the Hulk instead) and brother in order to add dramatic weight that is almost immediately squandered when another hero immediately enters stage left. Any Thor fan, therefore, who is looking for a nostalgic blast 10 years from now is not going to seek it here, but would rather turn to any of his other films and, this argument can readily be applied to the entire roster. I also really enjoyed the cinematic debut of Dr Strange, but here he treads water throughout to ultimately act so stupidly and stupendously out or character in order to allow the villain to win, he is either a complete moron or, more likely, is playing a Dumbledoresque long game that, ultimately, will render this entire film moot so, either way, there is no point in coming back to it. Each other character has their finest hour elsewhere in the MCU, so this film, with its dusting of story and character, must stand on its visuals which, whilst stunning, are not significantly more stunning those of other Marvel films. If you’re an Iron Man fan then his better work is in any of his standalones, and Cap gets to have a beard but almost literally nothing else- the stage is so crammed that nobody has space to actually do anything. I loved the sad and strange Banner/Romanov relationship in Age of Ultron but, worse than ignoring it, that core relationship is reduced to a camp “Awkward!” gag, and it even looks like Johansson and Ruffalo never even managed to share a set, never mind a scene. The film simply has no space for the sad, strange or interesting: “Ladies and Genelmen, next up to the plate, put your hands together for Rocket Racoon!” Infinity War does spark when it wrestles two great actors into the same shot, which it only really manages twice. Vision and Scarlet Witch’s vignette in a gorgeously shot (although curiously sparse) Edinburgh comes closest to giving the film a heart, but even actors of this quality need space and the CGI carnage is never far away. There is also joy in Strange & Stark’s bickering (entirely understandable since the film makers know that they are the same bloody character) but then it leads only to that baffling denouement. The film offers us a picnic of dozens upon dozens of insubstantial slices of fun, but there is always are more nourishment to be found in any of their previous works. As I run through the metaphors, this film is thus reduced a queue: 150 minutes you have to sit through in order to get onto the next ride, an infinity chore.

 Trolling

When our myriad of heroes is reduced to a parade, the villain is then given considerable focus and, whilst the performance is terrific, his master-plan seems to be based on eliminating the perils of overpopulation which, considering space is infinite (and in it there exists a time travel stone which would solve this issue!) the nonsensical choice to kill half the universe completely undermines the pathos that Josh Brolin works so hard to sell. Maybe Thanos’ nihilism is borne of those at Marvel longing to rein in uncharted growth of the MCU which has stretched beyond their own control- perhaps Feige isn’t Alexander the Great but Thanos himself! Regardless, the film adds fuel for a long-held blockbuster bugbear of mine- can we not get some plain evil instead of conjuring increasingly daft motivations for villainy? DC certainly now have a great opportunity now to steal a march and simply portray Darkseid as a gleefully sadistic arsehole. On DC, it is saddening to read stories about “fans” who troll Marvel, howling about conspiracies and I am worried about adding fuel to so paranoid a fire, but I simply cannot get past the fact that I much preferred Justice League to Infinity War. In that flawed film, the clear failures can at least be (mostly) compartmentalised into a weak villain and a wobbly upper lip, but it knew to allow its characters to breathe, to be who they should be and even grow a little. Infinity War allows each of its heroes to simply process across the stage for their mandatory 5 mins of plot-serving quippage to then get hooked from the wings.

Maybe this is just me, as a 41 year old nerd, finally reaching superhero overload. Or has my affection for the career of Joss Whedon and his original Avengers films, coupled with my fanboy credentials firmly planted on the DC side of the divide allowed me to use a downer ending and as a lighting rod to indulge my Marvel frustrations? I have to acknowledge this possibility but, for me, there is little between this film & X-Men Apocalypse- for different reasons, both are overstuffed puddings with little to emotionally hang on to. Infinity War isn’t a bad film, but it is an empty one which left a sour taste in my mouth.

 The End?

That feeling of frustration is what the departing audience at my screening were exuding- weary irritation that we would all have to return a year from now, cash in hand, to sit through the same procession of CGI only now with an actual ending. We now have to wait for everything here to be undone and, once this undoing has happened, there will be even less of a reason to rewatch this film. I feel for the directors, who can certainly bloody make this stuff visually sparkle, but this barely feels like cinema to me- it’s a comic event issue with a surprise downer ending, so ‘Catch next issue to find out what happens next! With added Brie Larson!’ But it is not 4 weeks at the newsagents where we have to wait, and even if this franchise does get the final chapter and character resolutions we hoped for this time out, my sympathy and patience has been basically spent. Cap, Tony & Thor deserve a hearty send off but I can probably live without it, and the ghastly fear of using the Infinity Gauntlet to start everything all over again with a reboot would close the door completely.

As someone who has long complained about not being surprised by Marvel films it is fairly rich for me to ignore that I certainly got a big one this time out, but this film offered nothing new apart from the requirement to come back for the next instalment, which exiting parents were audibly grumbling about. This risks looking like corporate greed, leaving the customer dangerously close to feeling cheated. Once the dust settles, I am sure that those who have flat out loved this film series are likely to find Infinity War thrilling (certainly other reviews seem to back this up) but even they are unlikely to come back to the film repeatedly in the long term. After dozens of hours I simply I no longer care enough about all these characters to feel invested any more. As Marvel have run out of stories to tell and worlds to conquer, they have played their final joker with astonishing courage and gleeful conceit but, once it hits the table, they are left with an audience that is as best exhausted and at worst annoyed. I like the idea of the audacity of this film, but suspect that the decision to have the villain triumph was not borne of courage and creativity but instead came from an exhaustion of originality.

 Coda

As a teacher and a cinephile I spent a few moments in each of my classes last Friday urging any students who love stories to see this film on the opening weekend, to celebrate it with a huge audience and suck up the atmosphere. In my showing I detected a collective flatness midway through the film- the jokes were not landing as heavily as you’d hope and you could feel that everyone was saving their emotional investment for the denouement. The perplexed incredulity as the lights went up, therefore, makes me regret my promotion of the value of a shared cinematic experience to my students via this film and, at a time when cinema is fighting to lodge inside the inboxes of the next generation, I do not think that this film has helped.

One final memory: as a lad I had some friends round for my birthday party and, as a treat, I asked if we could watch the Beastmaster, which we had rented as a family previously and I had loved. We did this for 2 birthdays running but, on the third year, my Dad came back with a different fantasy film (the name escapes me), as the Beastmaster was already booked out on loan. I and my friends sat down to watch this substitute and I remember only 2 things about it. Firstly, it was rubbish, but we seemed to enjoy laughing at it. Secondly, it finished on a pointless cliffhanger with “to be continued” filling the screen as the hero trudged into the horizon. Bollocks to that, we thought, and went outside for a kickabout.

Avengers: Infinity War

5.5

**

[campfirecounselling]

I really want to change my URL to Bradleymorgans

but I only just changed it

but brolin