#but i am enjoying it and it's my fluffy self indulgent AU so there!

[sanospet]

✩ MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM YOURS AGAIN ✩

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 - 𝘚𝘏𝘐𝘎𝘈𝘙𝘈𝘒𝘐 𝘛𝘖𝘔𝘜𝘙𝘈 𝘟 𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘋𝘌𝘙

𝘲𝘶𝘰𝘵𝘦 : gummy walls tightening around the thick of his shaft, tomura's brows knitting together as the coil nestling at the pit of his stomach slowly came undone, hips staggering, painting your warmth with his pearly seed, inscribing the story of your shared love on your walls like a parietal painting.

warnings and notes!

18+ . mdni . smut . angst . hurt comfort . quirkless au . fluffy ending . after care . detailed descriptions of SA . mentions of a knife . reader held at knifepoint . reader has a breakdown . heavy suggestions of reader struggling with SH . detailed fight scene (tomura beats someone’s ass) . deeply insecure reader . they’re both just trying to navigate their way through complex emotions . a whole lot of guilt and self-blaming . soft dom tomura . passionate sex . codependency . requited clinginess . praise praise praise . tomura just being a sweetheart, honestly . pet names (“baby”, “my love”, “princess”) . gender neutral reader . afab reader . reader’s sex is mentioned . proofread though there still may be some spelling mistakes, enjoy <33

authors note:

this fic is super self indulgent, i am the reader, the reader is, indeed, me, lol. it took me much longer than usual to complete, and in turn it is probably one of my longest fics yet, lol. but im happy with how it turned out, i literally daydreamed (basically me writing/directing a movie in my brain, im not sure if that’s the right term…but i do it quite frequently) this fic for like 6 hours straight from start to finish the other day and it kept replaying in my mind like a movie ever since. i needed to get it out and written down, and i wanted to do it justice, so here it is. i hope you enjoy it, and i hope i explained the complexity of their emotions and the turmoil they faced well. thanks for reading <33

(+1000 aura points to you if you caught my shrek reference)

- linus

"you can't be serious..." the question was drawled as tomura gave your outfit a once over, a slight quirk in his brow, earning a pout in response.

"what's wrong with it ?" you whined, feet shifting beneath you as you twirled, "isn't it cute ?" a sweet smile dawning your glossy lips.

tomura's eyes softened, "it is," he confirmed, "very very cute, too cute, even," gaze resting on your upper thighs, raking over the length of them in the reflection before shifting to where your skirt cut off at the back, just beneath the curve of your ass.

sighing softly with a troubled expression, "look, i wouldn't mind you wearing this if i were coming along with you, but you're seriously thinking of going out in that all alone ? to a party, no less...you'll be getting all sorts of unwanted attention from the weirdos plaguing that place."

your hands fiddled with the silver chain, attempting to clasp it behind your neck as you spoke, "tomura, in all my years of living, you're the only guy that's given me the time of day, let alone a double-take," the reality of it set a pang in your chest as you let out a soft, awkward laugh, "i'll be nothing but a fly on the wall at this party, i highly doubt anyone will try anything."

soft snowy locks swaying with a shake of his head, tomura rose from his perch on the armchair, gently shifting your hair to your front, hands replacing your own, "well you'll do it for my peace of mind, won't you ?" gaze meeting yours in the reflection, hand smoothing over the skin of your back, "if you pick out the perfect piece, i suppose." a small smirk rested on your features, tomura reading the playful glint in your eyes.

tomura sifted through the hangers, pulling out a long, brown, flowy skirt, "it's a party, tomura, not a church." shaking his head at your remark, "no, no, look," he took place behind you, laying the fabric against you, "pretty, no ?" eyes shifting from the skirt to your unimpressed ones in the reflection, "tomura..." cutting you off with an exasperated tutt, "fine, fine."

returning to his previous endeavour, "it's like you dress for the summer all year round," he mentioned, flicking through the plethora of mini skirts and dresses before him "fashion knows no weather." you replied, earning a laugh in response.

pulling out a pair of flare jeans, with hope filled eyes, "what about these ?" you shrugged, "it's a skirt kind of day" amused by your reply , "only you would come up with something like that, god, you're impossible."

"oh," you chirped, kneeling down "how about i wear some tights instead ? compromise ?" he hummed as you pulled open the drawer, "let's see them first," sifting through the load, you landed on two that would match your colour scheme, "yeah, well fishnets wont exactly help your cause," he remarked, "don't you have any of those normal ones ?" fingers combing through his locks as he watched.

"and threaten to ruin my ensemble ?" gasping, "not a chance." holding up both pairs as the man observed "pick your poison, tomura~" you joked a slight melody stringing the words together as tomura rolled his eyes, "these will do," seizing the fabric from your grip, he knelt on one knee as you rose, pulling the lace over your legs before taking place behind you, arms wrapped around your waist.

"i can change if you really want me to..." offering a faltering smile, guilt crept in for pushing back so hard, but tomura insisted, "i can take on anyone who dares touching you," setting a soft kiss to your exposed shoulder, "and i don't think i ever really want to go through your closet again, anyway," and you giggle at that.

"you remember the rules, yeah ?" he asks, earning an eager nod in return, "recite them."

"don't get too drunk," you held up a finger, "don't accept drinks from anyone, and guard my own," adding another finger, "keep my location on at all times, text you throughout the night and..." you grew quiet, "don't wander off too far from your friends" he piped in and you nodded, "but what if they're like…making out with someone ?" you questioned, "watch them." he shrugged, "ew, pervert." tutting, softly nudging your elbow into him and he laughed.

the air felt cold and void when he broke your embrace, the clock's incessant ticking toward your departure doing nothing to aid your growing anxiety about your separation with tomura for the night.

"are you sure you can't come with me ?" voice pleading as you trailed close behind him to the kitchen, "i wasn't invited, love." he swallowed thickly as the words left his cracked lips.

he wanted nothing more than to accompany you, the thought of being parted for so long having glass shards set in his stomach, tearing him to shreds from the inside out. yet he pushed for your lonesome attendance, with the thought of you spending time and having a ball with the friends you adored so.

"im sure they'll let you in regardless," brows upturned, eyes soon to be wet with tears, "besides, i don't think security will be that tight, anyway..." placing an opened bottle of ukon no chikara in your hand, he lifted it to your lips, tipping it as you swallowed.

"you know i'm just a phone call way, baby," he smiled, "and i can come and pick you up at anytime.”

placing the small, empty bottle on the counter, "well you don't have to stay up if you're not coming along," you couldn't help the pout that formed, saturating your murmured words, "i could catch a ride with my friend or something."

raising your gaze with a hooked finger beneath your chin, "you know i can't fall sleep without you, love, and i'm pretty sure i need to be awake to answer your messages," thumb shifting to gently stroke your cheek, "and i love your friends, truly, i do, but there's no way i'm letting them drive you home when they're drunk."

"i could get a taxi..." his brows furrowed at that, "and im sure they'd be just as bad as the creeps at the party, love."

nodding at the words, shifting to the balls of your feet, noses brushing together with a smile, your lips meeting in a gentle touch. his hand moving to the small of your back, pulling you closer as he deepened it, tongue pushing past your lips, the subtle taste of your cherry flavoured lipgloss accompanying it.

"i'll miss you," parting, your breath fanning against his lips as you spoke, "i'll miss you too," he smiled softly.

"do you have everything you need ?" you hummed, moving to grab your small bag from the counter, handing it to him to look over, "and do you really need three lip products ?" he questioned through a breathy laugh as you plucked the lip gloss from his grasp, using the aid of your compact mirror to reapply it. "lip shades are like mood rings, tomura, they change with my emotions."

phone screen lighting up with a message, "she's here already ?" he questioned, failing to suppress the disappointment in his tone, earning a nod as he placed the device in your bag, following you to the front door as you slipped on your shoes.

turning to him, "how do i look ?" clammy hands smoothing over the fabric of your skirt, he neared you, tucking your hair behind your ear, "perfect," he smiled, eyes raking over your appearance, "absolutely perfect."

                               ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

the music seemed to permeate through your eardrums, rattling in your head and you could feel the thumping of the bass in your chest as it played, the alcohol mellowing it out just enough for it to be enjoyable. your body felt loose as you  swayed to the melodies, singing along amongst the crowd of perspiring bodies.

your friends had split as the party drew on, dotting around the oversized living area, hidden in corners and splayed on the leather couches at the centre of it all, preoccupied with their newfound love interests for the night, though you lingered near them.

as your buzz began to subside and the itch for another drink began to set in, your head spun, eyes scanning for a friend of yours to accompany you to fetch one, ruling out the few who had made their way to the second floor in hopes of finding an empty room, dwindling the group to just two, both who seemed to still be busy with the acts of exploring their dates bodies, your defeated sigh was unheard over the music as your feet shifted toward the kitchen.

the ceiling was just as tall as the ones you'd seen prior, the room almost soundproof as you closed the door behind you, warm lighting illuminating the dark oak of the cabinets and the hefty island that stood tall in the middle of it, housing a mix of opened half drunken bottles, crushed solo cups and beer cans as well as your bag.

the bright blue cooler almost shone in contrast, juxtaposed by the mahogany in which it rested upon and you reached in for another cider, before aiming to head out.

bumping harshly into the chest of another, you stumbled back, feeling a tight grip on your wrist and the deep, slightly slurry voice that followed "my bad, are you alright ?" speech failing you, an eager nod was all you could manage, your gaze searing into his tight grip.

finger hooking under your chin, a large smirk growing as he gave you a once over, "well, what's a pretty little thing like you doing all alone at a party like this, hm ?" words laced in excitement, "your friends ditch you or something ? did you lose your way ?"

breath hitching, his touch soldering, blazing your skin, your mind fell numb, heart rate only rising as you attempted to voice back, "i..." the lump forming in your throat swallowed your sound, "i came to get a drink," you pushed, voice low, his gaze moving to the cider in your hand, as you pulled your confined wrist from his grip, "excuse me." head hung, you took a step to leave, the searing cuffs of his calloused hands forming its assault once more on your upper arm, grip bruising.

"oh, c'mon, don't deny a guy so harshly," tone grating, whining almost "we can have some fun of our own." his voice deepened, slowly twisting your arm in his grasp, forcing you to meet him once more as you turned, the only solution to stop the growing discomfort and pain blossoming as you suppressed a cry, the can falling to the ground at the harsh tug.

"l-let me go!" yanking your arm toward you in order to free yourself, he only followed, chest slamming against yours, "eager, aren't we ?" he smirked.

stomach churning, the taste of copper sat heavy on your tongue as he placed a hand on your hip, his grip all but crushing. pushing your lower back against the island, his head dipping into the curve of your neck, "stop!" the attempted yell was more of a chirp, "i have a boyfriend!"

riled and raged, the man pulled back with an irritated sigh, lazily glancing around the empty space, "i don't see him," mocking bitterly.

the words set the fiery pit in your stomach ablaze as you continued "he's on his way," you convinced, "just a few minutes until he arrives."

"well i guess that earns us a few minutes to get this over with," you continued your aggressive attempt to break free, soon stilling as the sensation of a cold and sharp object made its presence pushed up against your exposed stomach, "wouldn't you agree ?" lips grazing against your ear as he spoke, laughing softly, pulling back at your silence with a smile, "god, you're so much hotter once you shut the fuck up." he sighed, eyes raking over your face, observing.

your breathing shallowed, almost diminishing completely as your face paled, his lips moving lazily against the soft flesh of your neck. animalistic groans almost reverberating on your smooth skin, teeth grazing harshly as he nibbled, his eyes shut tight. fingers inching up your thighs, crawling beneath your skirt, goosebumps rising in the trail of his vulgar touch.

the growing pit of repulsion and guilt in your stomach threatened to force up the drinks you'd had, and as your eyes glazed over, thoughts of tomura flooding your brain, the sensation of a sprouting rose deep in your heart followed, its unforgiving thorns shredding the pumping organ in its wake.

"s-stop..." you forced through a shaky breath, "please...you don't have to do this," pleading, he continued on, teeth grazing against you harshly, earning a pained whimper, "t-there are so many people here, there's gotta be someone who would jump at the chance to sleep with you tonight..." meeting you once more, eyes lidded, filled with need, the sight sending jagged shards of terror down your straightened spine, "you think ?" you nodded eagerly, "cute, but, the thing is i want to sleep with you tonight, so they're a little out of luck, aren't they ?" smirking, words filled with mockery and snark, as he looked toward the clock, "seems like your boyfriend is running a little late," tracing the flat edge of the cold weapon against the dip of your waist, "let's make the most of it, shall we ?" he whispered.

palms turning white, he gripped the glazed wooden slab tight with one hand as he rocked his hips into yours at a vigorous yet sloppy pace, the edged surface of the island bruising your lower back, his breath fanning against your ear as soft moans escaped his parted lips, head hung low.

"alastair, you in here ?" door swinging open, tufts of golden hair and amber eyes coming into view, "oh—" cutting his words short at the sight before him, analysing your position with a studied gaze, the man before you, alastair, shielding the weapon from the golden man's sight as he raised his head, "uh, we're about to play beer pong, wanna join ?" the two pairs of eyes now trained on you, "if you're not already busy, that is."

alastair hummed, face inching closer to yours, lips grazing your cheek as you turned away, "i'll be right there." sighing, turning your gaze toward him once more with a harsh grip on your chin, "next time, sweetheart ?" he willed, pushing off the counter as he pocketed the blade with a grin, setting a few taps to your cheek "next time." he replied to himself, turning to join his friend as he stumbled through the tall door.

your body remained stagnant in his wake for a while, unmoving as the cold air rushing in through the opened window coated your skin. willing yourself to move, to run, to scream, to vomit to do anything but let that scene replay in your mind for the nth time, or to think about tomura...both only causing a putrid cocktail of rage, guilt and disgust with yourself to build in your veins.

the reflection of the bathroom mirror met you after suffering the treacherous trail of making your way through the drunken, sex filled halls of the winding home you were seemingly trapped within.

a gut wrenching scream was kept locked in the back of your throat as your hands moved, vigorously rubbing and scratching against your neck and shoulders, soap and water trailing down your skin, soaking your clothing as tears crept down your face, falling into your teeth gritted mouth, breathing ragged and irregular as you worked with such force, hyperventilating.

shaky hands steadied with a firm grip on the sink, vision cloudy, tears falling with a blink, your reflection soon came back into focus. skin rubbed raw, rosy, irritated, makeup smeared, eyes wet and red, a chesty cry ripping through your throat at the sight.

you were disgusting, defiled, tainted, no amount of scrubbing and scouring could reverse the damage that had been inflicted upon you.

bag illuminating as your phone shone bright, a message coming into view as you peaked in.

tomura.

culpability gnawed at you from the inside, crawling up and into your lungs with its jagged claws, piercing gaping holes through your chest, guilt and remorse nestling in the pit of your stomach, the scorching craving for agony and torment setting in.

you deserved it, after all.

you betrayed him, had been disloyal to the overwhelming love you shared, and hadn't done enough to stop it all.

'i could've fucking tried harder' the thought was deafening, echoing in your brain and you could almost hear it, 'should've taken my chances of being stabbed than just standing there like a fucking statue and letting him have his way with me…’

heart clouded, encompassed by the grim emotions, compressed by the pressure of it all, you let out a jagged sigh, shaking your head as if to rid yourself of thoughts completely. collecting yourself to the best of your abilities, you tapped lightly at your makeup with your powder brush, intending to save it to no avail, mascara having left streaky trails, moving onto your messy hair with a tut before smoothing out your clothing and making your way downstairs.

"hey," your friend mouthed from across the main room, waving you over as you pushed past the crowd, "we're thinking about calling it a night and..." bright smile faltering, concern dawning as she took in your appearance under the dim lighting, "have you been crying ? are you okay ? what's wrong ?" hand moving to rest gently on your arm, the pad of her thumb offering strokes, "im alright," your hoarse voice pushed, "do you want me to drive you home ?" she whispered, almost worried as if her volume would shatter you completely, "i, um," you bit back, fearful that the utterance of his name aloud would set your throat ablaze, "t-tomura's c-coming to um, pick me up..." wincing at the words.

"alright, but um, i'm here if you need to talk, you know that, right ?" she spoke softly, brows upturned, eyes overflowing with worry, and you forced a smile, "i know," nodding, "thank you."

arms interlocked with hers, you finally escaped the, now seemingly claustrophobic, confines of the oversized home. offering your friend a farewell, waving to the others, you slowly made your way to tomura's parked car, his shadowy figure leaning against it.

the soles of your shoes scraping against the asphalt as you dragged your feet to continue your trek closer to him, the intense loathing, you'd been all but consumed by, threatening to take over as he waited with outstretched arms, a warm smile dawning his face.

falling into him, your body relaxing upon contact, a shuddery breath escaped your lips as the comforting scent of his cologne filled your head, arms wrapping around him despite the turmoil in your brain.

"you missed me that much, yeah ?" he let out a gentle laugh, your eyes falling shut as the melody vibrated through his chest, slightly straining as they filled with tears once more at the sound of him, despair twisting your stomach in a harsh pinch.

"_____?" words dripping in concern as he hooked a finger beneath your chin, chest tightening at the sight of you. eye whites more of a crimson shade, veiny and dried out, your neck looking more like his own, hair tousled and unkept, clothes home patches of water as it stuck to your skin, the makeup you'd perfected now streaky with canals of dried tears.

letting out a manually steadied breath, he aimed to suppress his swiftly accelerating anger in a soft veil, "what happened ?" tomura's undivided attention had your face wet once more, rivers pouring from your eyes, hiccuping as you could barely form words, apologies spilling from your lips as he guided you into the car, hoping for more privacy and peace as you explained.

"it's all my fault," you pushed as your breathing steadied once more, "i shouldn't have..." shaking your head as tears continued, voice breaking, "i-i shouldn’t have l-let him..." the car fell silent, save for the unsteady puffs of air falling from your lips. tomura's jaw clenching at the mention of another, he knew where this was going and a sloppy cocktail of guilt, fiery fury and rage coursed through him.

tomura gently urging you to continue, you obliged, albeit through choked sobs and hiccups, hands interlaced, his thumb stroking over the back of yours, aiming to give you some sort of solace as you struggled, despite the ire festering within him. breath hitching, he swallowed thickly at the mention of the weapon you were held up toward, eyes frantically flying over your being, hands moving to inspect for any injuries, "i wasn't cut or anything," you explained, "he just h-held it up to me and i was scared so i..." the words stopped at the back of your throat, the confession stinging your throat,"um, i...i stopped fighting" gaze falling beyond the window, looking at tomura only causing an eruption of pain within you, "...im so sorry."

letting out a serrated exhale, "do you remember what he looks like ?" earning a slow nod in response, gaze lifting toward the house as alastair's infamous figure came into view. "are you going to h-hurt him ?" you questioned through sniffled gasps of air, tomura following the object of your glare, eyes landing on the tall man, "he'll be lucky if i don't fucking kill him." he breathed, turning to you, "stay in the car."

tomura's gait was that of a soldier, marching toward the man without a word, a heavy mist of enmity encompassing his being, trailing after him as his boots scraped harshly against the asphalt, echoing amongst the chatty drunken party-goers during his trek. slowly garnering attention from them as he shrugged off his jacket, before he raised a tight fist, slamming it down onto alastair's face with vigor, the man almost kissing the ground as tomura pulled his fist away, ready for another blow.

"what the fuck ?!" alastair slurred, mind spinning, the stench of alcohol coming off him in wafts as the weighty sole of tomura's boot crashed into his nose, before retracting and slamming into the man's ribs. falling to his knees, alastair trapped between them, tomura's world fell silent.

tomura wanted to break the man before him, tear his limbs from his body with his teeth and leave him strung up to be eaten by wild animals, to burn him alive and savour his tormented shrieks. tomura wanted to disintegrate him, dust him by a single touch, into nothing but a pathetic pile of grim ashes, to have him slip away between his fingers, to be forgotten, to drift away in the wind.

tomura's punches were mechanic, automatic, rhythmic as he moved, dealing continuous blows of the same force, and the packed crowd that had formed around him were hushed, gawking, the only sound echoing through the night being that of dull hits and cracking bones.

"....im tomura!"

his unforgiving assault continued, heart pumping liquid ivy, adrenaline coursing through his veins like a drug, eyes glazed over, void of light, face expressionless as your screams slowly permeated his trance.

"you're gonna kill him, tomura!" pleading, eyes bloodshot, slightly hesitating to touch him,"that's enough...please..." reaching for his raised fist, shaky hands enclosing around them, "let's go home..."

the cacophony of overlapping sirens sliced through the air like bullets as the crowd clamoured, scattering like flies, yet your stagnant positions remained. tomura's gaze raking over your tired eyes and puffy face, heart clenching. hands tightly woven together, you rose as a duet, crisp air lacing over his bloodied knuckles, nipping at your tear stained cheeks as you made your way to his car once more, settling into the warmed seats.

tomura was the first to break the otherwise wordless journey home, "he could've killed you." the statement was harsh, piercing, "i wouldn't know what to do if you were to die," focused on the road, tomura's grip tightened on the steering wheel as he let out an uncomfortable laugh, "i mean, i can barely sleep without you, let alone live without you..." trailing off, "...i think i'd be better off joining you.”

the sentiment was not lost on you, you knew he meant it, deeply at that, yet it pained you to no end. his words feeling like an open wound exposed to the elements, heart continuing to bleed for you in the wake of your betrayal.

you'd never experienced such life altering love in all your years, something so dizzying, intoxicating and intense, something so real and raw and beautiful, something you could almost...touch, something you didn't deserve.

tomura was the best thing that had ever happened to you, by far and...he now sat beside you solemn, hands bloodied and bruised, heart torn, trust broken, betrayed and trampled upon by the one he treasured most in this parasitic world.

clothing rustling against the leather seat as you shifted uncomfortably, "why didn't you call me ?" he questioned through a small sigh, tired words laced with defeat, disappointment. "...i wasn't in my right mind," you spoke, voice hoarse, eyes trained on your fingers placed in your lap, fiddling with a loosened thread of your skirt. "i was in a daze and i was frantic and i went to...wash him off of me in the bathroom right after and," speech pace speeding as you explained, "i was so fucking overwhelmed by everything and that's when i got your message and by the time i went downstairs you were already there and...now we're here..." exhaling softly through a shaky breath, "and i'm so sorry..."

the soft blow of the car heating was all you could hear, as tomura's mind spiralled, fingers reaching for his deck, putting the cigarette to his lips, lighting it. "you broke our agreement." it was a statement more than anything, just a voicing of his conflicting thoughts, expressed through a sigh after a long drag, yet you replied, "i know…im sorry”

                              ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

knees buried in the soft carpeted floor, you tipped the rubbing alcohol onto the cotton, gently pushing it up against tomura's knuckles as you finished cleaning him up, barely earning a hiss from the man. eyes searching your face from his position above, observing the wrinkles in your forehead due to your furrowed brows, "what's on your mind, love ?"

stilling your movements, gaze lifting to meet his, white hair falling forward as he looked down at you, almost curtaining the rubies held within his eyes. words clogging, gulping harshly, breaking the stare for a moment before locking it in again, with the help of his hooked finger beneath your chin, a shaky breath escaping your parted lips, "c'mon, what's up ?"

"hurt me...p-please" begging, glassy eyed, voice breaking. tomura's tone remained calm at your pleads, almost as if he were expecting such a request, "why would you want me to do that ?"

eyes straining once more as tears threatened to well, speech quickening, "i...i betrayed you and i broke your trust and i let that guy touch me and i could've done more to stop it and i could've fought harder and i didn't tell you right after and—" vision clouding your eyelashes failed you as tears began to trail down your face again, chest rising and falling faster as you spoke, eyes darting around the place, "i— your pretty hands are scarred now because of me and...and...i deserve it."

nodding firmly at your own words, finally raising your gaze to meet his own, pleading, "please, take your frustrations out on me...it would make you feel better." eyes squinting, "it would make you feel better." he corrected, "it would." you confirmed.

rising from his perch on the sofa, extending a hand out to you, leading you to your joint chambers, tomura's lips met yours in a gentle embrace and as he moved to deepen it, you pulled away, eyes wide "w-what are you doing ?" confusion knitting your brows together.

"i forgive you," he stated firmly, "i think your guilt is punishment enough," tucking your loose hairs behind your ears, shifting your tendrils from your face, his hand rested on your cheek, thumbing it softly, "this...all of it, it wasn't your fault, you had no choice," he spoke, tone assertive yet tender, "you just need to forgive yourself now, yeah ? it's gonna be okay," setting a soft kiss on your lips, resting his forehead to yours "we're okay, we're together again like always, yeah ? just you and me, it'll be okay." the words were whispered, like a secret only to be shared between the two of you, something special to treasure as a pair.

leaning into him, crashing your lips together once more, you couldn't help the tears that fell, hoping to seal the taste of him in your soul, meld into him completely as his hand found the small of your back, pulling you in closer as he breathed you.

pulling away, "is this truly what you want right now?" he questioned, searching your face for any signs of discomfort, coming up empty as you nodded eagerly, whispering, pleading, begging, "make me feel like im yours again, tomura."

hovering over your nude laying form on the cushioned bed, clothes collectively discarded on the hardwood, safe for your undergarments, his lips met your cheek, trailing down your jaw slowly, slowly before meeting your neck. pushing his pillowy lips against your sensitive skin, mellow actions growing eager gradually as he continued, teeth softly grazing your skin as he sucked, making a mark, branding you as his own.

shame shrouded tomura's being, hanging heavy like a thunderous cloud, striking him in his core. his culpability was discernible in his mind, his constant turn-downs of your unofficial invitation gnawing at his insides. his presence all that would've been needed to prevent such a situation from taking place, to prevent such trauma, such pain, yet he withdrew the opportunity, and it haunted him like a vengeful ghost.

soft mewls fell from you as he worked, the nausea you'd associated with the actions earlier that night being reborn anew at the touch of your lover. hands gripping his arm, hips rutting, as he toyed with your most sensitive part through the fabric of your underwear.

finger hooking into the band, hand slipping underneath, finally making contact, a gasp falling from your lips at the act, tomura continued, sharp intakes of breath soon switching to a whines as he did so. drawing circles on your blossoming core, pulling away, he admired the flowery imprints he’d created on your neck as they deepened in shade.

lips meeting yours once more, finally slipping a digit into your warmth, taking the opportunity of your opened mouth to slip his tongue in as you moaned, slowly pumping you before doubling the dosage. lacing your hands into his hair, brows furrowing as tomura swallowed your tunes, meeting you with his own, kiss growing desperate as your hand found his clothed cock, slipping beneath the fabric, intending to alleviate the tension as you stroked, earning shaky groans from the man.

parting to hurriedly free yourselves from the threaded pieces of fabric, you met again, lips interlocked, his thumb pressed to the length of his cock, leisurely dragging it between your folds, as he rutted against you.

the strain was native as tomura slowly buried the head of his cock into your core, yet you couldn't help the need to paw at his shoulders, face contorting at the width and he gripped your wrist, "you can take it, princess," whispering, lips grazing yours as he spoke, inching deeper, soon bottoming out, "there we go."

stilling as you adjusted, tomura's mind itched for friction yet he remained stagnant as your lips crashed with fervour, treasuring the complete feeling of being slotted together once more, like missing pieces of a jigsaw, your core carved, his cock sculpted to couple.

his motions were slow at first, tender, pulling out at a grating pace before filling you once more, your hips moving to meet his, yet they harshened as he continued, pelvis soon snapping into yours, coarse strokes pummelling against that gentle pocket of nerves deep within you, leaving you in a choked daze. bodies rocking in tune with the bed springs, tomura's head buried in the crook of your neck, groans slipping into your ears, aiding the tightening knot nestling in your core as his thumb drew circles between your folds.

raising his head to meet your gaze, flushed cheeked and glossy lipped, heavy lidded eyes harbouring a fountain of lust, and you were enraptured by the view, his cologne almost permeating off him at the short proximity, intoxicatingly so.

mind dizzying as he observed your features, wanting to savour the expressions he pulled from you, clenching around him unwillingly at the sight, eyes squeezing shut in shame as your cheeks rosed, a smirk dawning his face in return, "you're taking me so well, baby." his voice raspy, a whine slipping from your lips, "such a good girl for me, aren't you ?" nodding eagerly at the question, "anything for you, master." through whimpers, and tomura smiled at the words, knowing you met it, all too deeply.

panting softly, the knot in your stomach tightening harshly as you squeezed around tomura once more, "can i—" cut off by a moan, hands fisting the fabric of the sheets, "cum on my cock, princess." back arching off the bed at the vulgar words with a mewl, tomura slipped his hand beneath, holding you, pumping you through your bliss, relishing in the way your muscles tensed, the way your eyes fell shut and the lazy open mouthed smile that rested on your lips.

"t-thank you," you pushed through a whine as the sensitivity set in, tomura's actions persisting as he chased his own high, pace becoming languid and jagged as it neared. hand flying to grip his wrist as he began to pull out, "w-wait..." pleading, "c-can you uh...inside..." cheeks burning as you spoke, voice timid, quiet.

tomura's brow quirking at the request, his silence only making you feel the need to explain further, "t-the love bites aren't enough..." you pushed, "i...i want to feel you from the inside..." eyes searching his face as you trailed off, a smile forming on his lips as he obliged, settling back in with the gentle words, "anything for you, my love." you smiled shyly in turn, knowing he meant it, all too deeply.

gummy walls tightening around the thick of his shaft, tomura's brows knitting together as the coil nestling at the pit of his stomach slowly came undone, hips staggering, painting your warmth with his pearly seed, inscribing the story of your shared love on your walls like a parietal painting.

                              ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

the rushing water pooled at your feet, head tipped back as tomura's sudsy digits massaged your scalp gently, eyes falling shut as he moved the shower head over the length of your hair, keeping the soap from trailing down your face before raking conditioner through your locks with tender care, repeating.

your fingers moved through snowy locks as tomura reached for the shampoo bottle, taking a whiff, "it smells so…sweet," he commented, "one of the reasons i like it so much," you shrugged, "is it any good ?" he questioned, "you'll see for yourself when we're done," humming, he sniffed it once more, "i like it" slight confusion lacing your brows, "how so ? you haven't even seen the results yet," earning a shrug, "it smells like you," the words forming a sweet ball of golden light to glow within your chest, a smile dawning your face, "besides, your hair is always super soft anyway."

dried and clothed, tomura fingers combed through his hair in the reflection, "woah…" he spoke, "see ? this is why i keep telling you to quit buying the cheap stuff," gently poking a finger into his arm with a smile, he shrugged, "eh, it gets the job done but this...this is some fancy shit." laughing at his choice of wording, "yeah, sure it is, tomura." sarcasm laced within the words, earning a playful squinted glare in the reflection from the other. 

"do you wanna do a face mask with me ?" holding up a small pot in one hand and a sealed packet in the other as tomura splashed water on his soapy features, patting his clean face dry as you continued, "a clay mask is drying and would probably irritate the areas around your lips and eyes but i think a sheet mask should be okay."

"and if it does irritate my skin ?" you squint, pointing as you talk, "it’s moisturising, so i have high hopes that it won't..." smiling as you trailed off, he shrugged, "sure then, go ahead."

perched at the edge of the bathtub, you took place between his knees, his hands placed on the backs of your thighs as you laid the serum doused sheet on his features, tugging it into place. entranced by your focus, tomura's heart swelling as his eyes raked over the soft lines of your face, the wet tendrils sticking to your forehead, the gentle curl of your pretty lashes and the plump lips he so dearly wanted to kiss again, "there we go." you piped, breaking tomura's daze, his eyes shifting to the mirror, "i look terrifying," he laughed, "you don't," you retort, "and don't laugh, you'll shift the placement of the mask," shrugging, arms held in surrender "whatever you say."

he observed intently as you swiped the clay on your face, "now we both look terrifying," you laughed, earning a tut, "no, you, you look cute." giggling at the words, "well, you think i look cute in anything." shrugging, "my point exactly."

tomura's chest warmed as you gently pressed the serum into his skin, the dried mask discarded on the counter not too long ago, fingers setting soft pats against the scarred flesh, careful not to agitate the wounds, "you haven't been scratching as much recently," you spoke, gaze dipping to his neck, reaching for the moisturiser you'd put on moments prior, gently massaging it into his skin, "the urge comes in waves sometimes," he shrugged, "still, im proud of you," a gentle smile gracing your lips as you uttered the words, tomura mirroring it, "all done!" you beamed, tomura pulling you down, setting a soft kiss to your lips, "now you're done." he corrected.

you soon found your tired bodies interlinked within fresh silk sheets, your head on tomura's chest as his fingers smoothed over your hair, the nostalgic cartoon playing in the background on the tv becoming white noise as your heavy lids fluttered shut, drifting into a hearty slumber within the safe confines of the arms of your lover.

[fatratinatophat]

Scraps, a particularly lonely toon made of pom poms and paper, desperately wishes for a friend who shares her interests. Yes, she has friends, and she’s very grateful for them, but few of them enjoy the same things she does, and everyone else seems to either have a best friend to talk to or they seem fine being alone, unlike her. Desperately craving for someone who would never leave her side, she comes up with an imaginary friend/brother, “Goob”. A craft, like her, made of fabric and stuffing who loves hugs, whose favorite color is blue, and who loves hanging out with his sister more than anything. She gets so attached to him in fact that she becomes desperate to make him real, even if he isn’t technically alive. After a particularly rough day, she decides to cave in and create a life sized replica of the fluffy craft using her fabric hoarde, stuffing, and a pair of googly eyes. Little does she know, something wonderful is about to happen.

This- AU? Mini comic? Idk what to even call this (Someone tell me if this would be considered an AU I’ve never done this before-) Will be a multi page mini comic revolving around my headcanon that Scraps made Goob because she wanted someone who shared her interests. It takes place before the events of the game so there’s nothing about like Twisteds or anything. I don’t exactly know how many pages this will be. It’s VERY self indulgent so uh yeah. It starts off a bit sad but it has a happy ending.

Also small warning, I’ve never worked on a comic more than 1 page and especially a more serious one so it may be absolutely garbage idk. Also thank my best friend for this existing he wanted me to make it after I mentioned it, also he’s kind of my co-editor since he helped me with the dialogue and such.

“Hey Crumb you forgot Scrap’s paint and bracelets and stuff” that’s intentional dw chat

Masterpost | Page 1

I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox game. I am a normal, sane individual who is not obsessed with a Roblox ga-

[theproductofcreativity]

Selfish

This just in. Cringe culture is dead and I'm posting my self indulgent fluffy oc x canon fanfiction. In the dead of night so no one can perceive me

The knightformers au belongs to @archie-sunshine and Gleam belongs to me. I hope the two entire people that end up seeing this enjoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shockwave knew he was the last person to deserve the sight before him. Gleam's tired eyes staring at him lopsided in the dimly lit room, freckles glowing a pale blue in contrast to the warm yellow of the light spell she was just barely maintaining in her sleepy state. It was late, and yet she always insisted on staying up with him as long as possible whenever he stayed over. Another thing he knew he didn't deserve.

Shockwave was well aware of the truly heinous things he had done in the war. To others. To himself. His form corrupted beyond repair, done of his own free will in his pursuit of knowledge and power. Even just speaking his name was enough to make some shudder with fear. And yet, sleepy sky blue eyes stared with nothing but pure love and adoration for him. 

Truly, he had no right to have such eyes on him. No right to be laying beside Gleam on her vast collection of soft blankets and pillows, gently brushing his thumb over the star-like freckles on her cheek. Surely just a mere touch from an abomination like him would corrupt her beauty, and yet it never did. 

“You look lost in thought.” Soft purple words appeared in front of him and lingered for a moment before fizzling out. 

“I am simply wondering how many stars were sacrificed in order to etch them into your skin so beautifully.” Of course he would never tell her what was truly going through his mind. He had made the mistake of expressing these thoughts to her once and will not be doing so ever again. It had resulted in a confusingly angry and affectionate lecture on all the good he’s done for her, how happy he makes her, and how dare he disparage her boyfriend like that. Definitely not something he was looking for a repeat performance of.

Unaware of his mental plight, Gleam simply smiled and leaned into his touch. “You already know. You counted at least ten times by now.”

And he had, because of course he had. It was imperative that he knew every single detail of her body, the exact number of freckles on it included. Of course she hadn’t stayed still through the ordeal which had necessitated the numerous recounts. Not that he minded. It was simply more time spent appreciating the sight of her he knew he wasn’t worthy of.

“Perhaps if you hadn’t moved so much I wouldn’t have needed to count so many times. The slightest touch had you squirming.” He poked her side just to see the silent giggle etching a smile onto her face, only for a yawn to break it.

“You are tired. You need to sleep.” Shockwave had lost the need to sleep long ago with his corruption, but could still appreciate sleep when it allowed him to hold his love while she rested. A fact he had to struggle to remember when a truly heartbreaking pout formed on Gleam’s face. She hated when he insisted she sleep when he was there. She always wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he left again.

“Don’t look at me like that. You know I will be here for at least three more days.”

“I know…” Suddenly she leaned forward, loosely draping her arms around his shoulders. “Carry me to bed? Please?”

Another tactic of hers. One he was powerless to resist.

“Very well.” Carefully pulling her into his arms, Shockwave stood and lifted Gleam from the mass of pillows and blankets. The “cuddle puddle”, she had dubbed it. Making sure not to jostle her he carried her to her bedroom, though she kept insisting he call it their bedroom, and set her on the bed. It took some gentle tugging as well as the promise to only take a moment to remove his armor to convince her to untangle her arms from around his shoulders. He felt her eyes on him as he turned his back to her and began removing his armor, and no sooner had the last piece been removed did he feel her arms wrapping around his waist and gently pulling him back towards the bed.

“Impatient little thing.” Yet his tone held nothing but fondness as he allowed himself to be pulled onto the bed, turning himself so he lay facing her and once again had her adoring gaze on him. Of course, no sooner had he laid down did he feel her delicate fingers tracing the ‘Y’ shaped scar on his chest. It was self inflicted of course, done to himself in the process of becoming what he is now. This time he forcefully shoved down the thoughts of such an unholy part of him tainting her soft skin as he felt the soothing pulse of healing magic flowing across his chest. It wouldn’t do anything. Scars this old couldn’t be erased. Gleam knew this as well, and yet she insisted on doing this every time. She had claimed it was the same thing as “kissing it better.” An action she had also performed on numerous occasions. A completely nonsensical and illogical notion, not to mention completely useless and ineffective.

Though he found it increasingly difficult to care as the calming blue light from her palm illuminated the scar on his chest as well as the jagged runes etched onto his arms. A cheap bastardization of the pale blue starlight on her cheeks.

All too soon, the light faded and she simply rested her hand on his chest. Even in the near complete darkness of the room, Shockwave could see Gleam struggling to keep her eyes open. Normally he would pull her to him, keeping her safe in his arms as she rested, but he was feeling a bit self indulgent tonight. Instead, he tucked his face into the crook of her neck. He felt her silent giggle as her hand found the back of his head. Tendrils of smoke caressed her fingers as he nuzzled further into her. The scent of medicinal herbs and flowers flooded his senses. A scent so uniquely her that he couldn’t get enough of.

Shockwave stayed pressed against her, as close as he could possibly get, hearing and feeling her breathing gradually evening out as she fell asleep. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, his mouth began to open. Jagged teeth poised just millimeters away from the thin skin of Gleam’s throat. It would be entirely too easy to bite down. To tear her tiny little throat out that wouldn’t have been able to scream even before then. She was so weak. So fragile. And yet she slept so soundly, unaware of the true danger she was in. She trusted him so implicitly. Him. The Demon Lich. And he so readily, so selfishly took advantage of her trust. Allowed her to show him affection. Allowed him into her home and bed. Accepted her kindness and gazed upon her beauty he had no right seeing. 

Yes. Shockwave was selfish. Keeping this treasure locked away all for himself. Away from someone who truly deserved such a light in their life. But really, when has he ever cared about being selfish? Not once has he been a good person and he wasn’t about to start now. He had his love in his arms, whether he deserved it or not, and he will not be letting her go.

Daring to let the tip of his tongue brush against Gleam’s throat, tasting her, feeling the small shiver run down her sleeping body, Shockwave felt a sense of satisfaction knowing no one else would have her. She was his and only his.

Slowly, he closed his mouth again. He nuzzled his face back into her neck, taking in her scent once more as the thought settled in his mind.

He truly was a selfish man.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunlight slowly filtered into the bedroom as the sun rose and Gleam awoke not to the gentle brushing of fingers on her cheek like she did when Shockwave stayed over, but to the feeling of arms wrapped tightly around her waist and soft breaths fanning over her neck. Her sleep-addled mind struggled for a long moment to comprehend the situation before it finally clicked. 

Shockwave had fallen asleep.

Gleam remembered him telling her that he could sleep, he just didn’t need to anymore. So even on the rare occasion that he wanted to be held by her as she slept, much like last night, she would always wake to their positions reversed and Shockwave stroking her cheek or hair. Not long after he would make her get up and start the day, no matter how much she pouted.

Today was different, however. Shockwave had fallen asleep and was still asleep. Asleep and clinging to her. Logically, she knew she should wake him up and get the day started. She had potions to make and he had his own projects to work on. But when did she ever get to sleep in with him? Surely just a few more minutes to hold him wouldn’t hurt?

Yes. It was fine. She could keep him to herself for a little while longer. She could be a little selfish. 

[yaralulu]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Thank you for the mention @olenvasynyt <33. A whole lot of yapping is ahead lol.

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024? 

73,226

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

12!!

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

I started a multi chapter wip this year but everything on my ao3 is complete 🙂‍↕️.

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

In the last two months I feel like I’ve written a lot of things that I’m really proud of. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten more comfortable with myself and I have a little more confidence or I’ve just genuinely improved who knows lol. But Am I making you feel sick? is probably my favorite. It was such a self indulgent fic that was just everything I look for in tamcien fics. I got to explore tamlin’s feelings on lucien’s betrayal whilst also making him very deliciously mean. And I was very experimental with the smut and just my writing voice in general. Most of all I just really enjoyed writing it; it all came so easy to me because I was really excited and passionate about the idea. I think I did a good job portraying the angst and it was just exactly what I had imagined in my head.

End of Beginning is also one I’m really proud of. There were a lot of big feelings with Lucien coming back to Autumn that I was definitely worried I wouldn’t do justice but I think i did!! It was well received too which soothed my worries lol. There was a bunch of scenery descriptions of the Autumn court that were fun to figure out and really challenged me. This fic definitely pushed my skills and it has a special place in my heart for sure.

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Am I making you feel sick? and My Heart did A Thing for every different reasons. Am I making you feel sick?, like I said, was me trying out a new writing voice and experimenting a lot with smut. It was by far the most kinky and explicit thing I’d written and it’s definitely a lot 😅. Made me a lot more comfortable with writing smut though.

My Heart did A Thing was a challenge because it was so warm and fluffy. I’m not used to writing tamcien being all cute and romantic. It’s either angst or they wanna devour each other, no in between, so this was a change and I really enjoyed it which I wasnt expecting!! Writing the slow burn, their innocent crushes on one another, their first kiss—it was all very tender stuff that I wasn’t used to but I think I developed a liking for soft tamcien after it. Maybe i’ll stop torturing them so much lol.

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

Want By Proxy being my most well received fic is insane work to me even now. I remembered when it hit a 100 kudos I was just in disbelief 😭. I was not expecting people to be into this at ALL. It’s a lucien/azriel fic which is like the rarest of rare pairs and holy shit it exceeded my every expectation. Is it my best work? no I could probably execute it better now but I still enjoy rereading it and the love for it means everything.

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

I don’t check my stats so I wouldn’t know lol but my quietest fic is One Bloody Interview. A vampire tamcien au I wrote for lucienweek that’s just all biting and blood and everything 13y/o me would have adored as a vampire fanatic.

8. Who is an artist that inspired you

So many lovely artists in this fandom I could go on forever!! @geniemillies @copypastus @thrumbolt for carrying the pro tamlin side of the fandom. @works-of-heart @jennastokesart @dimalry have some of the most gorgeous art styles I’ve ever seen fr.

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

It’s still insane to me that I’m mutuals/friends with so many authors that I literally used to fangirl over before making this blog. @zenkindoflove @crazy-ache obviously I have to mention these two, act surprised. Literally got me back into my fanfic phase and it all just spiraled from there. @achaotichuman for starting my tamcien obsession no joke. Was feeding me on ao3 when there was a total of like 50 tamcien fics. @highlordofkrypton everything she does inspires me. I’m in awe of anything she does.

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

I’ve been slacking in reading fics lately but @olenvasynyt has me completely enamored with her Lucien backstory fic. If you’re not reading what are you doing!!

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

No, way too anxious for that 😅.

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

Honestly just sharing my work online is a really big deal for me. Even now, six months later, I’m still really weird about posting on ao3 like I just have a complex surrounding it😭. Sharing my work is very vulnerable and makes me very anxious, more than what’s necessary. The second I post my fics I just start hating them and I get this urge to delete everything and disappear for 3 months?? Sometimes I can’t even read comments bc I hate the idea of being perceived. It’s weird ik but I’m working on it. It’s why I’m really proud of myself for posting anyways and not letting that get to me or ruining writing for me.

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

So.freaking.much.

When I decided to start writing this summer I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Hell I still have no idea what I’m doing. I learned so much about writing this year and I still am and will continue to learn. But probably the biggest thing I learned was that it’s really difficult to be objective about your own writing and I think it’s especially harder when you’re very self critical and have confidence issues. I’ve learned that I need to be kinder to myself and that writing should be fun and something I enjoy and want to do. I’ve learned to stop thinking as my writing as something that will be seen by other ppl and more just something for me. I write because I enjoy seeing my ideas come to life and it’s something that fills my time and gives me purpose. I like having something to do, an end goal. Removing that pressure of posting and being perceived has made me a better writer. Yes I usually end up sharing my writing but a lot of the times when I’m writing, I genuinely have no interest in posting them; I’m just working on fics because I want to. For me.

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

Progress takes time. No one wants to hear it but it’s true. The more you write the better you’ll get and the easier it’ll be. Read books and other’s people’s works and write your own stuff. Don’t compare yourself to more seasoned authors when you’re still starting out, it’s simply not fair to you. Just enjoy what you’re writing and before you know it , you will be improving and getting better.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

Write. Literally that’s it, I just want to write without the endless procrastination and self doubt. I just want to keep writing and improving and having fun.

WAY too much yapping but this all happened in a span of like six months so yk. I’m processing LOL. No pressure tags: @highlordofkrypton @the-darkestminds @achaotichuman and anybody who’d like to join!!

[redlikerozez]

Big Feelings

QuanYin Week DAY 7: FREE DAY

Summary: Life doesn't always go as you plan. Sometimes your partner comes home early from the gym and gets you all sweaty. Sometimes you go to the gym expecting one thing and then you have an autistic breakdown. Life happens, but at least it happens together.

QuanYin modern hurt/comfort.

Content warnings/tags: modern AU, established relationship, autistic Quan Yizhen, hurt/comfort, non-sexual intimacy, non-sexual nudity, showering/bathing together

Read on AO3!

Fic Under the Cut ⬇️⬇️

Author’s Note:

Happy QuanYin Week! This is for Day 7: Free Day, so have some autistic meltdown/shutdown, hurt/comfort, modern QuanYin. This is incredibly self indulgent as an autistic person myself.

Full disclosure, half of this fic was written before I was in a bicycle accident and broke my arm, so the other half is dictated to my iPhone. (More details of my accident if you’re interested in the end note.)

I am so bad at typing with one hand (my left hand) on a tiny iPhone keyboard and I can’t type on a normal keyboard with just the one hand so the best thing I could come up with was dictation.

There was gonna be an accompanying piece of art, but the arm I broke was my right one and of course I just so happen to be right hand dominant so that’s super fun. I will post the art at a later time, so please enjoy this strangely dictated fic!

Also fun fact, because my phone can’t understand their real names when dictating, I had to give them code names: retail eyes and puppy dog. I couldn’t take myself seriously alone in my apartment just reading this out to my iPhone.

Thank you a million times over to my betas @parameciam and @ashenvioletss for helping edit this and change the names back. You guys really you really gave me a hand with this one hahaha

Yin Yu was in the kitchen chopping up some vegetables for tonight’s dinner when he heard the apartment door open and slam shut.

“Yizhen? Tha Yin Yu was in the kitchen chopping up some vegetables for tonight’s dinner when he heard the apartment door open and slam shut.

There was no response other than the heavy, clumsy, socked footfalls of someone bee-lining straight for him on the hardwood. Luckily Yin Yu was able to set the sharp knife down before he got tackled from behind in a ridiculously strong, all encompassing bear hug.

“Yizhen! Give a little warning! Jeez,” he chided softly, awkwardly placing a hand over the arms around his torso to hug back. “You’re home early. How was the gym?”

He felt Quan Yizhen start to nuzzle into the back of his neck and shoulder playfully, but what was even more prominent was the disgusting feeling of sweaty-faced Yizhen touching his neck and the thick odor of rubber gym mats and dumbbells reeking from every pore of the man currently hugging him.

“Eugh, did you even shower, Yizhen? You smell terrible! Gross! Let go of me before I have to shower too.”

“No.”

Yin Yu just sighed and rolled his eyes, picking up the knife to continue chopping up. Quan Yizhen made no indication of leaving as he resumed the dinner preparations, even going so far as to move along with Yin Yu when he said he needed to get something from the refrigerator.

Quan Yizhen was essentially stuck like glue to Yin Yu's back, or maybe like a sweaty but cute, fluffy koala—minus all the syphilis.

“Seriously, Yizhen,” Yin Yu said, huffing in frustration. The smell of the useless antiperspirant reeking from Quan Yizhen’s pits was going to give him a headache, not to mention it wasn’t sanitary at all to be cooking with such a filthy human attached to him like a parasite. “You should shower while I finish up here.”

“Don’t wanna. I only wanna hug Shixiong.”

“Well, Shixiong needs to keep cooking so we can eat dinner. Surely you’re hungry after the gym, right?”

Quan Yizhen made a childish grunt, marking his defiance.

Yin Yu resigned in defeat and just continued his work in the kitchen.

“You know, Yizhen…” he started, pausing only to wait for the click click click of the burner turning on. “When I went to the store today for the groceries, I noticed something strange in my wallet.”

Quan Yizhen made a strange vocalization, in between a tiger’s growl and a monkey’s howl, and nuzzled deeper into the back of his shixiong’s neck, trying unsuccessfully to hide between the strands of Yin Yu’s long braid.

“What did I tell you about leaving money in my wallet? You don’t have to do that. I can afford to buy us food with my own money; I don’t need you sneaking extra-”

“I… I just wanted Shixiong to buy anything he wants…” Quan Yizhen sputtered out in a small voice. Slight sniffling sounds eked out in between his words.

“Yizhen? I’m not mad at you,” Yin Yu admitted, trying to turn around, but Quan Yizhen kept clinging on behind him, hiding away his face in Yin Yu’s hair. “What’s wrong?”

He felt Quan Yizhen shake his head and heard a muffled groan vibrate through the strands along his braid straight into his skull. After a little bit of back and forth twisting and turning, Yin Yu was able to shake himself free and grab hold of his shoulders. But before he could take a look at Quan Yizhen’s face, strong yet trembling arms wrapped him into a proper hug. He patted his partner’s back soothingly as he felt the bigger man shudder in between thick, long sniffs.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Quan Yizhen shook his head.

“Ok, that’s fine. Can I ask some questions?”

He nodded his head.

“Was it something I said? I promise I’m not mad.”

He shook his head.

“Did something happen at the gym, or…?”

He nodded his head.

“So you left early?”

He nodded his head.

“Was it a sensory thing? Or was it something else?”

“Both,” he croaked out. Thick globs of tears fell on Yin Yu’s shoulder.

Yin Yu took a moment to process all this and tried to think of the best way to fix the situation. It had been a while since his last shutdown, but thankfully, it wasn’t a meltdown just yet.

Quan Yizhen’s meltdowns usually could only be solved with him using his fists. Never on Yin Yu, of course, but he couldn’t say the same for the walls, or their furniture, or the many stuffed animals and pillows that swallowed their shared bed. Yin Yu had purchased a small tub of plaster and had had to hang some strangely placed artwork to cover up a few of the unfortunate casualties around their now shared apartment.

There was no way Yin Yu was ever getting his deposit back.

“Let’s focus on getting you comfortable, OK? I’ll run you a bath. Get you all clean and fresh smelling, is that alright? Afterwards, we’ll get you fed, maybe cuddle on the couch, watch a movie?”

Quan Yizhen tugged pathetically on the back of Yin Yu’s oversized purple Black Sabbath sweatshirt.

“Only if Shixiong comes shower with me.”

“Of course.”

He managed to turn off the stove just in time. Before Yin Yu could even turn in the direction of the hallway, Quan Yizhen had scooped him up in a fireman's carry over his shoulder and trudged over to the bathroom.

Yin Yu thought about struggling for a moment before realizing it was futile to resist the much stronger man and would only result in wasted energy. Quan Yizhen sat him down on the closed seat of the toilet and started warming up the shower.

“I thought I was supposed to be the one taking care of you?” Yin Yu asked, laughing a bit.

Quan Yizhen’s clothes hadn’t even hit the cold, tiled floor yet before he was stepping into the shower. He looked over at Yin Yu, who hadn’t yet made a move to get undressed, and grabbed hold of his arm, yanking him into the shower, still fully clothed.

Yin Yu's first instinct was to yell at his lover for dragging him in and getting his favorite sweatshirt wet, but he held himself back for Quan Yizhen’s sake. He let out a deep sigh as he felt the water pelt the side of his face and trickle down his still clothed form. Heavy wet fabric clung to the right side of his body. Quan Yizhen started yanking at the frayed hems of Yin Yu’s Black Sabbath sweatshirt, removing it in one swift motion, and threw it out the shower curtain with a gross thwop.

At this point Yin Yu just indulged Quan Yizhen and shimmied out of his sweatpants to throw them into a heap to join his sweatshirt. His clothes needed to be washed anyway, especially after how sweaty Quan Yizhen had been when clinging to him earlier.

What did it matter if they got wet before or after being put in the washing machine?

Quan Yizhen was currently trying to break the world record for the quickest shower possible, but Yin Yu had to calmly remind him to take care of his hair and wash it properly, especially after a gym session. Quan Yizhen tried to refuse with groaning and whining noises, but Yin Yu was insistent.

“I can help you clean it, if you want,” he offered.

Quan Yizhen scowled deeply and crossed his arms, but nodded begrudgingly.

Yin Yu squirted out way more than a dime sized amount of the specialty keratin-infused shampoo into his hands hoping it was enough to tame his partner’s lion’s mane. He took a moment to breathe in the lovely tea tree oil aroma wafting from the goopy mixture.

Quan Yizhen turned around and bent his knees a little so that Yin Yu could reach to massage it properly into his scalp. He washed it out as quickly as he could, but before he could escape the shower, Yin Yu had already started lathering up the ends of his hair with the matching keratin conditioning treatment.

Yin Yu told Quan Yizhen to wait a couple of minutes while the treatment settled in his hair before washing it out. Now with time to take care of himself, Yin Yu lathered up his body with some vanilla-scented body soap and cleaned himself as well. He didn’t need to wash his hair so he left it in the long braid and tried to keep it out of the water as much as possible.

He handed the shower head over to Quan Yizhen after he was finished washing himself, and Quan Yizhen rinsed all the conditioner out of his hair as quickly as possible.

Now that they were finally clean, Quan Yizhen switched over the water nozzle currently set to run the shower in the other direction to begin filling up the bathtub with scalding hot water. He then proceeded to shake violently, like a wet dog at the grooming salon.

He was about to call for him to stop, but it was too late. He’d just wipe the mirror down later. And probably the whole bathroom why he was at it. It was no use dealing with it now.

While he was throwing the wet clothes into a laundry hamper after exiting the shower behind his lover, a strange splotch of angry scarlet and violet bruises dotted over Quan Yizhen’s knuckles caught Yin Yu’s eye as he fiddled with the temperature controls for the bath.

Concern and rage washed over Yin Yu when he realized what he was looking at. He had half a mind to demand what exactly had happened, but he didn’t want to spook the man, especially not during a shutdown. He wasn’t angry at Quan Yizhen, he just wanted to know what exactly had transpired at the gym to cause such a reaction from his lover.

Yin Yu tilted a couple drops of lavender essential oils into the bath before he climbed into the bathtub and beckoned his love to come cuddle.

Quan Yizhen crawled in immediately after, still not having spoken a word in a while. He settled in between Yin Yu’s thighs and felt his shixiong’s tender and soft arms entomb him close to his heart. The steamy, comforting water lapped and rippled between them before stilling into a relaxing silence.

Yin Yu’s fingers wandered up to gently pet and twirl the ends of Quan Yizhen’s hair. He could’ve sworn Quan Yizhen started purring underneath him like a house cat.

“Shixiong’s hugs are the best. Could stay here forever.”

Yin Yu chuckled a little at his lover's admission. It made Quan Yizhen’s ears buzz in a strange, but surprisingly not unpleasant way. They stayed connected in the bathtub until Yin Yu started to feel a little lightheaded from the heat of the water. He tried to shift over to adjust the temperature, but Quan Yizhen refused to let him move, ear stuck to his partner's heart, trying to focus on the rhythmic beats.

“Yizhen, I’ll pass out. Just let me just fix the-”

“The world is really mean,” he suddenly muttered directly into Yin Yu’s pale chest.

“What?”

“The hot water is gonna make Shixiong faint. I can hear it.”

“Well, not if you let me-”

“The world is mean and loud. Like really loud. Why is the world so loud and mean?”

And that's when it hit him. He could’ve sworn he’d seen Quan Yizhen’s headphones on the coffee table after he’d left for the gym.

“Yizhen, if you left your headphones, I could’ve brought them to you?”

“You said you were gonna be busy at the grocery store,” he stated bluntly.

“It wouldn’t have taken very long to come back, grab them for you, and drop them off at the gym.”

“Well, I thought I would be OK, but everything seemed to go wrong. Nothing went like it normally goes.”

“What happened?”

“Feng Xin was gone today, so Pei Ming filled in as my trainer. I tried to say no, but he wouldn’t let me. I said I didn’t care if I lost money. I told him that I wanted Feng Xin or no one else, but he wouldn’t listen. I figured I’d just drown him out with some music and then I realized I left my headphones here. And I didn’t wanna bother you ‘cuz you said you were going to the store today. And his voice was really loud and annoying and the gym was really hot and he kept correcting me with his sweaty hands. I told him to fuck off. Feng Xin knows I don’t like it when people touch me. And then this girl tried to talk to me and it was just all too much... So I just left and came back here as quick as I could to hug you. Everything feels better when I hug you.”

Yin Yu squeezed him a little tighter.

“How did you hurt your hand?”

Like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Quan Yizhen immediately slipped his hand underneath the bath water, a guilty red adorning his cheeks.

“I… I punched a wall.”

“You… punched a wall?”

“A brick wall.”

“You punched a brick wall.”

“…I’m sorry.”

He felt Quan Yizhen’s body shudder in shame beneath him.

“No, no, Yizhen. I’m not mad at you,” Yin Yu assured him, petting him gently.

“You’re not?” he asked in a quiet voice, big, teary eyes peering at him.

“No, of course I’m not mad. You had really big feelings. You didn’t know what else to do. You needed an outlet. I’m just glad it at least wasn’t a person,” he said, softly caressing Quan Yizhen's hair.

“I almost did punch him…” Quan Yizhen admitted under his breath.

Yin Yu sighed. “Well, even if he deserved it, I’m glad you didn’t.”

He fished in the water for Quan Yizhen’s injured hand. Bringing it to his lips, he gave a whisper of a kiss to each bruised knuckle.

“Yizhen, I’m never so busy that I can’t make time to help you. Even if I have plans at the grocery store or I’m at work, I would gladly drop everything if it means I can help you. No matter what. Work can wait, and especially groceries. You’re more important to me than anything.”

“But Hua Cheng-”

“Overworks me as it is. He can handle it if I need to take a small break during the day. And besides, Xie Lian said he was trying to convince Chengzhu to give me more time off even before I put in the request.”

“You asked for more time off?” Quan Yizhen’s eyes perked up at this admission, searing into his like two burning sun rays.

“I want to actually spend time with you now that we live together. It feels like we’re just two ships passing in the night. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

After much jostling and sloshing of water and nearly slipping in the process, Quan Yizhen whirled in the bathtub and wrapped his arms around Yin Yu, squeezing so tight Yin Yu started seeing black dots in the corners of his vision.

“Yizhen…! Dying…!”

Quan Yizhen reluctantly let go when he realized he was actually going to make his partner pass out. He helped escort Yin Yu out of the bathtub and into a fluffy towel before setting him down on the bed to catch his breath and adjust to the room temperature.

When Yin Yu was finally in a stable condition, he reminded Quan Yizhen to scrunch up the ends of his hair with a clean T-Shirt to help maintain his bouncy curls. He even put some product in on his own volition. Yin Yu was impressed.

He invited Quan Yizhen to help him finish cooking dinner for the two of them. Rather than helping, Quan Yizhen just attached himself to Yin Yu's back like before as he started up the stove again.

After pouring two bowls of soup, a thought occurred to Yin Yu. Quan Yizhen looked up from the table, very confused, as he saw Yin Yu rush off in the direction of the bathroom.

“Shixiong?”

He came back later with the first aid kit from under the sink and started pulling out several items.

“Give me your hand.”

Quan Yizhen smiled and placed his bruised knuckles gently on Yin Yu's open palm.

“It's like old times. When Shixiong wrapped my hands for boxing practice.”

“Now that was a long time ago, haha… Well, I don’t think it’s broken, but you should probably be careful for the next couple days…” Yin Yu said after examining the extent of the damage. “And can you promise me something?”

“Anything for Shixiong.”

“Will you call me if you ever start feeling like you need to punch a brick wall again?”

He nodded eagerly. “I will.”

Yin Yu clipped off the end of the gauze wrapping and tucked it in on itself.

“Good. There, all better.”

Quan Yizhen nodded again and held up his newly wrapped hand with a big smile on his face.

“Thank you, Shixiong.”

Yin Yu smiled back, cheeks flushing slightly, and waved a hand dismissively like it was no big deal.

“Your soup’s getting cold.”

But Quan Yizhen stood up in his chair and leaned over to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

“I mean it. Thank you. For everything.”

End Notes:

I was riding my bike back home from a café, where I had hunkered down for about two hours to write this and start on the drawing. I was almost home, but fell down two sets of concrete stairs on my bicycle (don’t ask, I thought I could do something and it turns out that I could not in fact do that.) Luckily, some nice lady on her evening walk stopped to help me and I managed to call my friend who helped me call an ambulance.

Oh, did I mention that I live in the deep countryside of Japan where not many people speak English and I speak only conversational Japanese? A.k.a. not enough to convey detailed medical symptoms other than what hurts.

The poor EMTs and the hospital staff and I had to communicate via Google Translate.

My bicycle is totally fine, but I was not as lucky. I have a radial head fracture in my right elbow and four stitches in my forehead as well as a hella sprained wrist, two black eyes, and a wicked headache— all of which are healing beautifully.

My students keep calling me Harry Potter because of the gigantic scar on my forehead. But hey, all in all, it could’ve been way worse so I am glad I’m still here and able to dictate my way through this fic in time.

And that’s how writing this fic nearly killed me skskkssksksksksk. I jest. I jest.

But for reals, wear a helmet yall.

Make sure you don’t forget to leave some kudos, drop a comment, bookmark, or subscribe if you don’t want to miss anything I post! Check out my other social media on my carrd if you wanna follow me elsewhere! (I yap a lot and post my art and sneak peaks on Twitter…)

Cross-posted on tumblr and AO3.

All writing and art posted by this blog is original work by ©RedLikeRozez. Do not reupload, translate without permission, copy, or claim as your own work.

[moonheavens]

Fanfiction Author Interview Game

thank you for the tag my dear @littleoldrachel! it's always such a pleasure to engage in these kinds of fandom games and you're one of my fave people to nosily read answers from...

I only started writing in 2023 and my pace of writing new stuff is glacial so there won't be that much to share (I am one of those people with thousands of words in unfinished snippets in my google docs but very few of that actually makes it to AO3), but without further ado, let's go...

questions under the break <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

3 at the moment!

What's your total AO3 word count?

121,546 words

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

I only have three, so I'll list them in that order:

in the centre of a circle my first long-form chaptered fic, and still the one I am most proud of. I truly, thoroughly enjoyed writing this and diving into Sirius's brain, and I think that really shines through.

tongue full of tomorrows my first-born! I wrote this quite quickly and feverishly and as a result it's pretty simplistic, but I still like it. it's a fluffy little thing I really enjoyed writing.

no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft it feels like I wrote this fic weeks ago, not almost half a year! I spent a lot of time trying to get this just right, but I'm really happy with how it came out. hurt/comfort is one of my favourite tropes and I had a blast taking a crack at it, extremely self-indulgently.

Do you respond to comments?

always, and embarrassingly quickly, too. it's so very special to receive a comment, whether it's a few words or a lengthy ramble, and I love engaging with people who liked what I wrote.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

none of my fics really have super angsty endings, but I think no thing defines a man is the angstiest one because it's canon compliant. as in, the fic ends semi-happily, but there's still a war looming above their heads, you know?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

that would be in the centre of a circle! there's a big fat HEA tag on that fic, and I stuck to that promise—the boys are thriving (very gay and very in love).

Do you write crossovers?

assuming this means fics that straddle multiple fandoms? in which case, no

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, actually. or well, I haven't seen any of it. I've been lucky enough to only receive positive comments and feedback.

Do you write smut?

yep. there is some smut in in the centre of a circle, and I have some WIPs floating around my drive that have smut, including a WIP that is... excessively filthy (casanova Remus, if anyone remembers me yapping about that one). like, it's explicit explicit. if that ever sees the light of day I might need to scrub my digital footprint, honestly.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as I know!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

officially, no. however, my bff/roommate and I have an abandoned WIP floating around the google drive (a 9-1-1 AU) that we co-wrote. we spent hours outlining it and assigning roles, re-watching the show, etc. it's only about 5 chapters before we abandoned it, but still! it was fun, and I'd be open to doing it again.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Wolfstar, of course, and I have unfortunately fallen down the Jayvik (from Arcane) rabbit hole...

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have any WIPs running on AO3, if that's what the question is, but I have dozens on my drive. I think the 9-1-1 one will unfortunately stay there forever, simply because I don't think I'd want to write it without my friend (even though it was exciting). otherwise, I have made it a new year's resolution to actually try to finish and publish the two WIPs that have been hijacking my brain the most in 2025... so wish me luck!

What are your writing strengths?

see, now this is where you lose me. I've been a writer for as long as I can remember, and I have written fanfic for most of that time. despite that, I am an extremely self-deprecating writer and I suffer from a crippling case of perfectionism. is that silly? yes. do I love writing? yes. is being super critical of my work a blockade to doing what I love? also yes.

I love writing, but I struggle to see the forest for the trees, so to say, and pinpoint my own strengths. I get in my own way a lot. but, if I had to pick something, I think I'm good at writing emotions. but that would more so be because other people have told me so than because I actually believe it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

ah, so maybe I should have put the "my own worst enemy" spiel here, instead, haha. but yes. I have so many ideas, and I think in a general sense that my writing and ideas are pretty neat, it's just my own brain that sabotages me. one of my goals in 2025 is trying to actually finish something, instead of building a rolodex of random snippets and unfinished WIPs in my google drive. (as for actual writing, I think my weakness is over-describing things that could easily be said in one sentence instead of my five).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

love it, why not. I haven't done it myself (yet) but I adore the welsh-speaking Remus and french-speaking Sirius headcanon and enjoy reading it in fics. I recently read a great fic in which Remus spoke swahili and afrikaans. as long as there's translations in the end notes, make them speak anything you want!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

there's some Marauders ships (dorlene, mostly) that I would love to include in future works but I want to be able to do them justice, so I'd need to find the proper place in one of my fics for them to get the development and attention they deserve and not just be there in the background for the plot, if that makes sense.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

in the centre of a circle. she's my baby, and I love her. I spent so many hours in cafe's scattered across London outlining and writing, removing and adding and editing and just being stuck in Sirius's head, and I really love the way it came out. you can see the difference in writing quality between chapter 1 and 7 a little too clearly, but I had so much fun writing it regardless of that. the original idea was just a little brainwave of what if? and it went somewhere entirely different (Sirius took the wheel) and it was exhilarating to roll with it.

* * *

TAGS: honestly, I don't really know who's already done this or not so forgive me if you have. also, if you want to do this but haven't been tagged, feel free to use me as your tagger. tagging @magicbeings @pretentiouswreckingball @kaaaaaaarf @pain-in-the-riri @euripidestrousers <3

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Cooking Up Love, Chapter 1

Pairing: Chef!Matt Murdock x F!Journalist!Reader

Rating: T (Not expecting the rating to go up, but this is me we're talking about, so who knows, lol.)

Story Summary: You are a journalist working for the NY Bulletin when you get assigned to interview multi- Michelin star chef Matthew Murdock, co-owner of Daredevil, the hottest new restaurant in Hell's Kitchen. Unfortunately for you, however, Chef Murdock isn't exactly trusting of journalists. As you work to peel back the layers of the closed-off culinary genius, you find yourself becoming interested in more than just his cooking.

Chef Matthew Murdock is struggling to rebuild his culinary reputation after being burned by his former flame, renowned food critic Elektra Natchios. So naturally, when a journalist from the NY Bulletin comes around for an interview he isn't exactly welcoming... Until he finds himself starting to fall for you.

Can two hearts learn to trust one another or will your budding romance go up in flames?

Warnings/Tags: Hallmark levels of fluffy, cheesy goodness (and speed that their relationship develops, lol), no use of Y/N, Matt is not a vigilante, more tags to come as the story develops

Word Count: ~900

A/N: Thank you to everyone for all the excitement over the teaser and I hope you enjoy my self-indulgent Hallmark rom-com chef AU!

And extra thanks to the ultra-talented @theradioactivespidergwen for the adorable divider she made for this! 🥰

Tag List: @yarrystyleeza @hailey-murdock

…And the secret to such a long life?

"Lots of love and laughter," Beth replied with a cheeky smile, "and just not giving a damn what other people think."

You nodded to yourself as you finished reading over your latest story for the New York Bulletin, the newspaper that you worked for. Perfect.

You sent it off to your editor, Mitchell Ellison, for final approval then looked up from your desk as you heard him call your name. "Yeah?"

"I've got a new assignment for you. Walk with me."

You scrambled up from your chair as Ellison passed by your desk, excited to hear what your next assignment was. "What is it?"

"I want you to interview the executive chef at this new restaurant that just opened. Apparently the chef is a big deal in the culinary world."

Your smile fell. You were hoping for a good investigative assignment this time, not another fluff piece. "But Kelsie covers the food and restaurant beat."

"Yeah, well, Kelsie is out sick with food poisoning -- and before you say anything, yes, I do realize the irony." Ellison sighed as the two of you entered his private office. "I really need you on this one -- apparently the chef doesn't usually do interviews but his business partner promised us an exclusive, and besides, you're the best reporter I've got. You'd really be saving my ass here."

You folded your arms and looked at Ellison pointedly. "If I'm the best reporter you've got, then you're gonna start paying me like it. I want a raise." 

Ellison narrowed his eyes at you. "What kind of raise are we talking about here?"

You did some quick mental math. "Twelve percent."

Ellison balked. "Twelve? Are you insane? We could maybe do six."

You shook your head. "Ten, plus I want to move to Lauren's old desk by the window."

After Ellison remained quiet, you shrugged. "You know, maybe I should call that person from the Times back about the position they offered me..."

You turned to leave.

Ellison groaned. "Okay, okay, wait, fine. You've got a deal."

You turned back and shook his hand. "Okay, so who am I interviewing?"

Ellison picked up a sheet of paper and handed it to you. "Guy's name is Matthew Murdock. He's the owner and executive chef of Daredevil, just opened up on 44th."

You scanned the name and address. "What's my deadline?"

"Two weeks -- we need it ready to run in the New York Restaurant week edition."

You nodded. That was pretty tight, but doable. "So when's the interview?"

Ellison coughed. "In 30 minutes."

You looked at him incredulously. "30 minutes? I have zero time to do any research or prepare any questions!"

Ellison shrugged. "If anyone can wing it, you can."

You shook your head and turned to exit his office once again. "You're lucky I'm so good, Ellison!"

You hurried back to your desk and typed "Matthew Murdock chef Daredevil NYC" into your search engine, eyebrows raising at the photograph that popped up. Chef Murdock stood in front of Daredevil, arms crossed and lips turned up into a smirk. He had dark, wavy hair and was wearing a red chef's coat with black trim and round sunglasses with red lenses. Damn, he's hot. 

You quickly made a few notes based on his (very brief) bio on the Daredevil website before dashing out of the office, praying that you would make it to the interview on time.

"You did what?" Matt hissed as Foggy Nelson, his business partner and sous chef, stood in the doorway of his office.

"Scheduled you for an interview with the food writer from the Bulletin," Foggy replied. 

Matt shook his head. "You know I don't do interviews. Not with wannabe food bloggers, not with TV reporters, not with writers for culinary magazines, and certainly not with food critics for newspapers."

"I don't think she's actually a food critic, she just writes for the food section of the newspaper." Foggy huffed out a breath. "Come on, Matt, you know we need the publicity. The opening hasn't gone as well as we'd hoped and if we have too many more slow nights we're gonna already be in trouble."

Matt scowled. Unfortunately, Foggy was right -- business had been way slower than they had hoped in their first month of opening and a front-page interview with the Bulletin during Restaurant Week actually would be great publicity. "Then you do it."

"You're the culinary genius behind the food, I'm just your business partner and sous chef." Foggy sighed. "My point is that it's your name attached to all those Michelin stars, not mine."

"So what am I getting out of this?"

"The editor promised us the front page of the Restaurant Week kickoff edition."

Matt huffed out a breath. "I hate you so much right now, you know that, right?"

Foggy chuckled. "Thanks, Matty."

"When's the interview?" Matt wanted to do some research on the Bulletin's food writer before he sat down with her just to see if she actually understood the culinary world or if she was just a glorified 'foodie'.

"In 15 minutes."

"What?" Matt shook his head and got up to put his chef's coat on and get ready. This had better be worth it.

[thewritingowl]

Howdy Owl!!

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💕💗

Hello it has been *checks watch* 6 months since I got this ask, but I feel like I finally have enough fics that I've written and like that I can properly answer this ask lmao. Plus I got reminded by Ash doing theirs so you know. Might as well join the trend and all that. Anways onto the fics! 1. You Are a Monster (But So Am I)

Welcome to my Duke is a Monster-Fucker Agenda. I love Half-Light as a ship, and this was the fic that basically jumpstarted that. It's one I'm particularly proud of, and of course it uses my fave 5+1 format. Plus it's just v cute. I love the flirting between Danny & Duke. :)

2. Where Will You House Your Skeletons?

Another fic I love quite dearly. It's got 3 chapters out, and can you find a pattern in my favorite characters to write? Lmao, I just am having such a blast combining Demon Twins with Tucker being Duke's cousin, and balancing all of the different relationships is fun. Just all of my favorite blorbos in one fic. <3

3. Come, My Dear, and Be a Part of My Home

AKA my Dad!Dick fic. I just love the softness of Dick being a dad to a baby Danny, and I really enjoy writing little baby Danny. He's just so cute and I adore him, your honor. I'm currently working on Chapter 2 so knock on wood that'll be out in the next week. Just overall so cute and fluffy. <3

4. You Won't Find Me Where You Left Me (No, I'm Long Gone)

So for this one, please, please, please read the tags. It is tagged Dead Dove for a reason. However, if you want super uber angsty Danny being Jason's bio brother and a bad timeline Ultimate Enemy AU, then this is your fic! I just really enjoy how cathartic the angst in this is.

5. But I Want to Be Let In, Not Out

Of course how could I do a self-rec without mentioning my baby, But I Want to Be Let In, Not Out. It's 300k+ words of Demon Twin goodness and so very incredibly self-indulgent. I put my whole entire soul into this fic series, and I am so grateful it's gotten so much love from others.

[husbandograveyard]

Fic authors self rec! ♡ When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ♡

Heylo Lale! aaaaa So excited to get this tag. This also made me realize just how little I have written in recent months. So some of these are a little old? Anyways, here goes [in unspecified order]

1 - Winter Holidays - SatoSugu x Reader → JJK

The first one that came to mind when I noticed I had gotten the tag. It's just pure fluff with Gojo and Geto in a winter setting, in my favorite AU: the one where I ignore that everything is very very sad in JJK. I liked the shenanigans and interactions I got to write, and I am definitely planning to write some more throuple things with those two.

2 - For the mission - Tengen x reader → KNY

Is it a little cheesy to put the fic I wrote for you in reply to this tag? Yes. Will I do it anyway? For sure. I loved writing this -despite the physical pain i was in-. It's not my *best* work, but it's the fic that got me back onto tumblr the past few weeks, and I regularly re-read the feedback cause it gives me so much joy. And it has Tengen. We love Tengen.

3 - Teeth - Tengen x Reader → KNY

Vampire AU Tengen for an abandoned spooktober that I am still working on in between other projects. It's one of my most descriptive fics, and I just liked the way it flowed, because I don't think I have ever been able to dedicate so many words to such a short moment.

4 - "Have you seen my socks?" Nanami x reader → JJK [suggestive]

Not sure why I like this one so much, but it's part of my awkward pillow talk event, one of my first proper suggestive writings. I like the vibe it gives, and I enjoy writing Nanami, despite him not being my favorite. I just think he's neat.

5 - Loving touches - various x Reader → KNY

For my last one I kind of want to cheat, so it's a collection more than an individual work. It's my KnY drabbles, the way i stayed into writing last year. It's little (mostly) fluffy character studies with some of my and my friend's favorites. It's really self indulgent, and some of these are some of my favorite blurbs I have written. It was also one of the first times I proper wrote (and finished!) something that was not requested, just done by me, and that gave a whole new level of satisfaction to it too.

---

there are some One Piece works I am proud of too, but those are a little older, and I haven't been super into One Piece lately. I still look back up on them fondly, but I feel like I want to focus on my current obsessions a bit more. Hence this selection. Thank you for the tag, and thank you for the newfound motivation to write some new things UwU

[x-i-l-verify]

20 Questions For Writers

Was tagged by @kuraiarcoiris and decided why not. :V

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

35. I have more on other sites, but since I've made my AO3 account, that's how many I've posted there.

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2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

656,547. Give or take a couple thousand.

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3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently? Dream SMP. But I also have an Inscryption WIP and a couple Kpop WIPs that I really should get back to one of these days. orz But I've written for all sorts of fandoms over the years.

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4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

5) Its Suffering Was Real [Inscryption]

This is the one that came as the biggest shock to me when I went and looked at my kudos count in preparation for this write-up. Like, really? People like the fic where I torture the sassy robot trapped in the body of a stoat for 7k words that much??

4) A Shoulder to Lean On [Avatar: The Last Airbender]

WHERE did all these people come from, I have like 6 comments on this thing (not counting my replies)??? I mean, I'm flattered, but ??!!?!

3) Accepting Amelioration [Voltron: Legendary Defender]

I mean, it's a Voltron fic posted back when the fandom was in full swing, it doesn't really surprise me the kudos counter is considerable, though I am still surprised it got that much traction considering the fic is gen and not shippy. Am still proud I made the first daemon AU in the entire fandom, though, if this is my claim to fame, then I'm ok with that. :p

2) Temporary Shelter [Astro / VIXX]

I seriously have no freaking clue how this little self indulgent Kpop crossover fic became so popular, I really don't. I mean, Kpop crossovers are niche at the best of times, and these two groups aren't exactly the most popular Kpop fandoms on AO3 if you know what I mean. It basically started as "wouldn't it be fun if my two favorite Kpop groups were secretly friends all this time? How would I have that happen, tho?" and then snowballed from there. I, uh. I'm glad so many other people like it, ig? 0_0

1) Paved with Pawprints [My Hero Academia]

Of course it's the MHA pet AU fic. Of course. OF COURSE-

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5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely. It's only fair I reply if someone takes the time to read on my work and actually give me feedback about it, wouldn't you say? Plus, like most authors, I enjoy talking about my own work, so sue me. >:p

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6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually do angsty endings; I prefer happy or at least bittersweet ones. I guess by default, it has to be the fic where I slowly killed off America and China from Axis Powers Hetalia for 13k words, while the rest of the cast had already been dead for centuries at that point. So yes, the entire cast of that series was dead by the end of that fic. :))) IN MY DEFENSE, ok, I was actually trying to give them a bittersweet ending by reuniting them with all of their old friends and family by finally letting them rest after so long alone, but it still turned out really sad. TT TT It's basically my only fic where I can't go back and reread it more than once every couple of years, because I still end up a sobbing mess by the end.

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7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well, I guess that's what you define "happiest" as. The most cathartic? The one with the least amount of trauma and extreme bodily injury incurred by the characters? 🤔 I guess by the latter definition, it would Kaleidoscopic Perceptions, a very fluffy USPH college AU that I actually enjoyed writing a lot despite me not usually enjoying romance or college AUs.

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8. Do you get hate on your fic?

No, thankfully. I've gotten a couple kinda weird comments, and of course the obligatory "It's been X months since you updated were you aware?????" comments, but no outright negativity.

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9. Do you write smut?

LMAO. Absolutely not.

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10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes! I really love crossovers. I have a few common fallbacks that fit with a lot of fandoms (daemon AUs, Firefly AUs, etc.), but I also enjoy fandom-specific crossovers when I can figure out how to pull them off.

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11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No idea. I hope not!

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12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Just once for this Gravity Falls fic.

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13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes. It had a few ups and downs, but it was overall a really positive experience, and I think it turned out really well!

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14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

idk that I have an ALL TIME favorite ship, especially since I hardly ever ship anything, but Frobin is pretty choice, I gotta say.

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15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Er, none of them, hopefully? I hope that I eventually get to finish all my WIPs at some point, even if it might take me awhile. >.>; But I suppose if I had to pick ONE to abandon, I'd probably pick Written In, my D&D Inscryption crossover AU. I like the IDEA for it, but writing it out is like pulling teeth, and after the first installment where the party gets together, I don't really have a lot of ideas on where to take the plot. :/ Like I have the general overarching idea but no plot structure or anything but small disconnected story beats.

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16. What’s your writing strengths?

I like to think I do a pretty good job with descriptions while not bogging the story down too much with too much detail?

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17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh, staying motivated ig. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ if you're asking my weakness about mechanics, though, uh... exposition, I guess? Dialogue in general, sometimes.

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18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If there is actual information included in the other language, then you better provide a translation. If it's just for flavor, though, have at it.

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19. First fandom you wrote for?

TMNT, specifically the 2003 show. It's never been posted anywhere on the internet and never will. :)

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20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Becoming Real, a Kpop fanfic based on VIXX's Voodoo Doll MV. However, it can easily stand on its own as its own original work. I consider it the most accessible story I've ever written, and it also was just very easy for me to write. Writing is often like pulling teeth for me, but not this story.

Tagging: @breezy-cheezy, @quicktothebatjalopy, @hiding-in-the-vault, @variablememory, @bleue-flora, @theriu

[bluegekk0]

Can I just say how much I adore your Grimm design? The more muscular torso in contrast to his slim figure in the game is incredibly intimidating on its own, but the added horror that is his cape makes him terrifying. I particularly love how you draw his mouth. The inclusion of his fangs and the way his face is structured makes him snakelike, especially with his scaly torso texture. He is certainly something bugs would see in their nightmares. Bravo.

The fact that he’s dating a puppy-eyed, round-bellied, therapy-needing shrimp beast makes him even better.

aaah thank you! it means so much to hear this!! i'm personally very happy with his design so i'm glad to see that people like it!

i will admit that the shapes i chose for him were purely self-indulgent. my brain goes crazy for top heavy characters, it's such an aesthetically pleasing silhouette design for me and i think it fits him very nicely, even if it kind of flips his body shape upside down compared to the canon (he's a lot more bottom heavy there). also, i think it's quite obvious by now that i miiiiiight have a lil crush on him haha. not in the usual sense (aroace here after all) but man his design is just so attractive on an aesthetic level to me, i'm obsessed with him. and judging by some of the comments i get under my art of him, it seems to be contagious. so it's a double win in my eyes hahahah

the cloak was a late addition, i struggled with it for a while. if you look at the older art i made of him, there was nothing really unusual about it. it went from a doctor strange like cape (the oldest design, i don't really like it now but i think it looked kinda cool at the time) to something closer to his in game sprites. the biggest change at that point was the addition of the fluffy collar, mainly because i thought it fit him but also because it was less frustrating to draw than those damn collar noodles/petals. i didn't get the doc ock idea until very recently, but it started as something i had in mind for nightmare king as opposed to just grimm. then i decided that screw it, he's a god even in his physical form. he can have a wacky tentacle cloak as a treat. rule of cool and all that. very happy that i went with that in the end, it really gives him that oomph. as a bonus, the way it behaves (splitting, twirling around, forming into sharp spikes) was inspired by the recent spider-man 2 gameplay reveal, and by extension venom in general

the head was also a somewhat recent change, i did stick to a more canon-like round headshape for a while, but i found it to look too pug-like, especially in ship art with fpk. so i returned to my grimm design roots and gave him a longer snout like on the very first design (long snout = more kisses >:) ). very happy with how snake like it ended up looking. i loved the idea of him having vampire like fangs (LOVE vampires. they're like, the coolest. and the sexiest) so the snake appearance was a coincidence, but i am so glad it happened. and like you said, it makes him look even more like a creature from nightmares

and yes, love me a good contrast in a ship. a big beefy vampire that oozes confidence and charisma, and a sad little lizard shaped like a sack of potatoes? yeah they're perfect for each other in my eyes. big "extrovert adopts an introvert" energy there, plus visually they just look really cool together i think. the height difference and the contrast in appearances really add a lot to how dynamic they are as a ship imo

but yeah thank you so much for this again! i went on a bit of a tangent there but it's because it makes me so incredibly happy when people say they enjoy my designs. i try my best to make the au versions of the character "my own" if that makes sense, so it really means a lot to hear positive feedback!

[chronicbeans]

Hey I just thought of this and I feel like it needs to be said (btw sorry if my thoughts are scattered. My ADHD is doing backflips. Hope my message is clear, lol):

I love writing completely self-indulgent fanfiction. Like the fanfiction that is EXTREMELY specific with specific details others may find odd, but make you happy for whatever reason. The fanfictions that have the whole "neko-princess-winged reader" or "half-demon-half-vampire reader" or OCs that some people make fun of, but people like because, as said before, it makes them happy! It helps them express themselves in a fun way! I feel like more people need to be open about writing it, lol. That way, others don't have to feel embarrassed about writing it, or wanting to write it! Sure, some fanfictions may be very serious, and these fanfictions can be taken seriously, but for many I feel it is just something they make because they like it! Like how some fanfictions are passion projects made from a love for the fandom, while others are made to ship themselves with a character, then there are others that someone may make because they were bored and wanted to have fun!

Life's hard sometimes, so people need to find what makes them happy, even if others think that it is odd. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, it's fine! Don't let others put you down or take the fun out of it! If you want a self-ship fanfiction, write it! Or if you don't feel comfortable writing it, don't be afraid to request it from someone you trust to write it! Same goes for any other type of fanfiction, really. Canon x Canon, Canon x OC, or maybe an AU fanfiction or crossover that has no shipping at all. You want something silly? You want something serious? Something fluffy? Maybe you just want something about yourself represented, like your culture, past experiences, etc? Don't be afraid to write it, request it, or whatever! Maybe you want to draw it!

This was just a random thought I had, as I realized how much I really enjoy writing fanfiction that involves my own experiences in them. It might be why I have a lot of self-insert OCs that only take very specific parts of myself, lol. It's always the same experiences, too. I love writing most every type of fanfiction, but I find those to be the most rewarding. Then I also find that, for some reason, I get nervous about posting it, despite the fact that I like it and am kinda proud of it. Well, I guess this is me saying "No more" to that nervousness, and I am now willing myself to write and post some of them for this blog (those fics are a bit old and I wanna rework them). I think a lot of people seem to be very nervous about talking about self-insert, at least in my personal life and from experience, so I just wanted to express my support of this type of content.

If anybody really wants me to write something for them, I'll happily do my best! If you want me to write for an OC, just give me some info and I'll give it a shot! Do you have a more specific request for an x Reader? I'll try it out. I'll even make sure to go out of my way to research things I don't know (I love doing that tbh I find it fun). Don't be scared to do so!

This blog is a safe space for self-indulgent content of any kind, really, as long as it follows my request rules.

[amysnotdeadyet]

2023 in review

Just the fannish creations, thanks. I don't want to think too hard about how fucking weird and stressful the year was outside of that. XD

I found some old 00Q art hiding on my hard drive and posted it in Feb.

I wrote a short Inception ficlet for @ladyprydian in April to try to jumpstart my muses. It didn't work.

I binge-wrote a whole-ass Sandman fic with (gasp!) fade-to-black porn in it in May.

July brought the Stony games! I was much less prolific than last year, but I managed a few things, starting with 3 little drabbles about perception.

I did a giftfic for the games! It starts in media res and I, being a troll, titled it In Pornia Res because yeah, this one's just pure porn against a background of worldbuilding.

I posted a longstanding WIP that was 100% self-indulgent trash, with Tony and Steve getting Bucky as their new sugar baby and treating him them right. Absolutely just the fluffiest of trash, but 66K of it!

I posted another longstanding WIP that's really pre-slash (I KNOW so weird) but involves catboy Tony, catboy Bucky, and a puppy Steve who's gonna get both (after the fic anyway).

My last little Stony Games fill was 8-bit pixel porn, because of course it was.

Later in August I did the "write what you want to see" thing and banged out (heh) a very kinky Stranger Things fic with Steve/Eddie and a leather bar. Somehow, it's still extremely fluffy.

I drew! Fanart! With pens and shit! Also Steve/Eddie.

And then I made pixel art of them, because why not.

Another Steddie fic, this time a modern AU with 'lost touch' feelings and also banging the rockstar in his hotel room.

And finally, my MTH2021 fic is posting a year late, and will continue on into the new year. It's all done and edited, I just like the daily posting method for getting drip-fed dopamine and also sitting there posting 29 chapters at once is no bueno.

You can find all of this stuff here, so I'm not link-stuffing the post: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swtalmnd/works

What's Coming in 2024 (besides my blorbos)

I have a few more Stuckony WIPs waiting in the wings, including my MTH 2022 fic, which I hope to finish in time to actually participate in 2024.

I have at least 1 novel coming out and maybe 2? I didn't publish ANY original fiction last year (gah), but I finished 1 draft (the sequel to Hive) and am plodding along on 2 more (Julian 4 and something new). I am so slow these days, tho, gah. I have no idea how some people put out multiple books a year, year after year.

I've got a few more Eeveeon arts to share, which I always forget to do on Tumbls.

I might actually open commissions next year (for art, I don't enjoy fic commissions).

I'm gonna a Stuckony Valentine thing, so you'll get at least one short fic from me in Feb.

I'm hoping something new will sweep me into its fandomy arms, because while I do love my current blorbos (MCU & Stranger Things), neither one is really doing the full fixation dance in my brain and that's sad. OTOH I'd like to finish my MCU WIPs before that spark fully dies ahahaha haha ha.

As far as art goes, I'm keeping up my Patreon sketch cards and not a ton else, but my new-new meds are helping me Get Shit Done, so I'm really hoping that I can get back into larger-than-a-playing-card artwork, both fannish and non.

I'm still gonna do more of my 8-bit bullshit, though.

[alifeasvivid]

The On-Fire Dumpster that Is My WIP Folder

These are more or less in order of priority...

Chapter limits and word counts are for my own guiding reference and are not set in stone.

Thief of Spades Season 2 (30ish chapters in total, 75-80k words) (ukus, detective/thief AU)- found out it's gonna take a little bit longer than I thought to finish it up but BY GOD I WILL DO IT. Nobody remind me that it's already been 8 months since I updated it. I know. I don't wanna talk about it. T_T

A Closer Look (one-shot, 5-6k words) (usukus, human AU) - hung over punk Arthur/stranger on the train Alfred with a tattoo "fixation" I think I can actually get it finished fairly quickly and I'm really enjoying it because it's turning out to be the most "they're both switches" thing I've ever done... and it's got a title now! Woo!

The Benefits of Being a Marine Biologist (working title, 25k-50k words, one-shot, no chapters) (ukus, monsterfuckery or rather, faefuckery) - No I will not elaborate further. ;P

The Floor is Lava (10-12 chapters, 40k-ish words) (ukus, omegaverse) - it's hella cute I'm not gonna spend a million years on it though. It's a romcom, it's gonna be paced more like one.

Expectations (15ish chapters, 50k-ish words) (ukus, omegaverse) - I'm resurrecting this one cuz I've done so much work on it--almost none of that work being actually writing it but the ideas!! I have them! and I need more alpha!Arthur/omega!Alfred and this one's ~sexy~ where FiL is more cute and fluffy.

Special Secret Project (4-6 chapters, 20k-ish words) - No spoilers!

Three-Part Harmony (on-going) (frusuk, human AU) - I've got more ideas for things these three can get up to >.> no plot, just more smut

Untitled (one-shot) (Ame+Can/Eng, canonverse, smut) - America and Canada team up on England. He may or may not survive the experience.

Some things I haven't forgotten about/stuff I lowkey want to do but haven't mentioned; all of which I may never do but WE'LL SEE:

Temptation Acknowledged (MAYBE) (priest!Alfred x demon!Arthur; ukusuk) Fuck it I might continue this. I got thoughts. I got feels.

If It's You: the smut bit

More ftm!Alfred stuff--including some with more heterosexuality (aka Alice). (oh the overly personal self-indulgence)

@ukus-so-much-potential <-- this

The Right Kind of Trouble - that nyo!ukus human AU with burlesque dancer Amelia and bartender Alice

Immortal being/time traveler AU

Stay by Your Side - the EngSey period thing which may or may not (but probably may) devolve into Arthur x Alfred x Angelique because I can (if I can ever be arsed).

*warms my hands near the fire* Does it not burn so brightly?

I'm gonna live forever.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

my live reaction seeing sel in my notifs <3333 giggling and kicking my feet reading through ur thoughts <3333333 sel pls i know ive said it already but i would move mountains for u. just say the word!!

wahhh i wish i could go thru all of ur comments and thank u vigorously for every single one bc they all made me smile so wide!!! bUT if i did then this would turn out super long…. so ill just mention a couple

but gosh sel i am just. so so happy that u liked this fic!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 the banter and the dynamic and everything… this is def the fluffiest gojo piece ive written LMAO so im so relieved that u enjoyed it!!! sometimes its just so fun to write this kind of self-indulgent gojo who simps for his partner w/o complications <33 hes soooo babyboy ur absolutely right T_T

AND YES READER DOESSSS LOVE HIM <333 usually i think i make my readers more calm n protective n gentle when it comes to satoru but!! theres just smth sooooo endearing abt a reader whos a lil bit of a tsundere <33 all grumpy and annoyed but when he coos and hugs them they just melt <333 i think its esp fitting for a fluffy au like this where gojo isnt as closed off!! where he feels more comfortable to just baby the hell out of them. hes the greatest simp in the universe and ohhhh i love them so <33

AND SEL when u say he’s annoyingly endearing. “the kind that wiggles into ur blanket even when there's no space” SOOO TRUE i cried. hes a tiny puppy who follows u around until u start to love him!!! he just Cant be resisted.

AND HIM FALLING TO THE FLOOR im so glad u found that funny… NO BC I REALLY DO THINK….. that if u push him enough (read: act cute enough)……… he just. dies. some part of him just Shuts Off. crumbles into a pile of mush. he is such a WEAK man when it comes to love i just know it

tumblr user shotorus found passed out at gojo satoru saying "cutie."  

^ BAHDBAHSB NO SEL DONT LEAVE US LIKE THIS 💔💔💔 so UNBELIEVABLY real though the way i would simply evaporate.

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH as always!!!! i love u my sweet sel!!!!!! currently writing out my essay on col 2 PDHHDS im so excited to get all my thoughts on it out!!! and i hope reading thru em will make u even a tiny bit as happy as ur rbs make me <33333

the things you do for love ; satoru gojo

synopsis; satoru begs you to wear the frilly maid dress he bought. against your better judgement, you indulge him.

word count; 7.0k (this was supposed to be short but i miss him terribly)

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, fluff fluff fluff!!, sickeningly sweet, literally just satoru being down horrendous, lots and lots of petnames (he is embarrassing), he’s ur biggest hypeman, entirely sfw!! (i feel like i have to specify that…), reader is a lil grumpy, satoru gojo is the most insufferable man on earth <3

a/n; this is just a silly lil wip i found in my drafts…. i dont remember what possessed me to write this i just think satoru would cry and fall to his knees and throw up blood if he saw u in a frilly dress

”— no.”

the word rolls off your tongue, instantaneous, with a decisive kind of sterness. leaving no room for hesitation, doubt or indecision; not a single gap for his argument to fit through, no loophole he could take advantage of to persuade you into giving in.

but despite all that, satoru just won’t back down.

”come on, baby, please?” he pleads, voice coaxing and sugary sweet. you can almost see those puppy dog eyes of his from behind the black glass of his shades. ”i already bought it and everything!”

”i don’t care,” you spit. a halfhearted attempt at appearing annoyed, in hopes it’ll distract him from the strawberry flush of your cheeks. ”i’m not wearing it. you shouldn’t have bought it, in the first place.”

”but sweetheart,” he drawls, tinged with a sadness he knows tugs at your heartstrings. ”it’s so cute. you’ll look so adorable.”

”not happening.”

”but —”

”— no. i’m seriously not wearing it, satoru.”

and it’s harsh, the flow of your words, sharp and firm; but that’s your only option when he gets like this. your only slim chance at survival, being almost painfully direct. that doesn’t stop your resolve from weakening pitifully when satoru’s posture wilts, though, obviously exaggerated but still somehow effective. you debase yourself for being so weak for him. 

but giving in just isn’t an option, this time. 

under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t take too long for him to persuade you. satoru can be annoying, extremely so — but when he’s being so stubborn about something, there’s usually a good reason for it, even if it’s just that whatever he wants you to do will make him happy. to you, it’ll do.

(his happiness is your priority, after all.)

but in this case, there’s just no way. absolutely no way in hell.

he’s still holding that thing up, like he genuinely thinks it’ll support his argument, swaying it lightly side to side. it really, really doesn’t. it does the complete opposite, in fact.

”but angel,” he tries, again. you wonder if he’s eventually going to run out of petnames, or if he’ll just keep cycling through them until he runs out of air to breathe. ”don’t you wanna see how it’ll look on you?”

a sharp scoff flows from your lips. 

he can’t be serious. 

you really, really, really don’t. if anything, you want everything in the world except for that. you’d rather smash a glass bottle into little pieces and eat them one by one. you’d rather sit on satoru’s lap in a room full of other people. you’d rather jump in front of a moving train with explosives tied to your back.

— it’s so frilly. 

you almost couldn’t believe it, yourself. when he barged into the room, cardboard box in hand, fresh from the mail; all while wearing an excited grin, foreboding, but you were too mesmerized by it to even notice. 

it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, so you didn’t think much of it. satoru buying you gifts is not in any way unusual, even and especially if you tell him not to — and usually, it’d be a sweet occasion. the kind of moment you can soak in, drink up, and then recall fondly for the rest of the week. 

every single detail is worth cherishing. how excitedly he always opens it up, eager for your reaction, and how you always thank him, no matter what it is. sincerely, because satoru can be awkward with his affection, but his love bleeds through in moments like these.

from expensive, well-kept bouquets to little flowers on the side of the road; from thought-out gifts to little trinkets; no matter what it is, the sentiment remains the same.

(this made me think of you. i want you to have it. 

i remembered you mentioning this brand. i love you.)

a way for satoru to show his love, without overwhelming himself or you. a way of easing him into it, when everything is still just so new to him. 

buying you whatever catches his eye is the perfect solution, according to satoru. and it exasperates you, sometimes, when you come home to five amazon packages right outside your doorstep — but deep down you know it’s more for him than you. because it makes him happy, to be able to, allowed to show his love for you in ways like this. in normal ways, easy ways, that say more than his words ever could. 

(being granted the luxury of making you happy. of loving you, even if satoru doesn’t think he’s very good at that, just yet. but he is good at impulse buying things he knows you’d like; so that’ll have to do, for now.)

which is why you couldn’t help but let his infectious joy seep into your bloodstream, trickling its way through your veins with a sweet kind of fervour. couldn’t help but smile, a tender curl of your lips, in tandem with his cute little grin. couldn’t help but grow a little bit excited, as he opened the package — 

to reveal a cutesy, frilly, maid outfit.

— and then your mind screeched to a halt. 

the look on your face must have been something special, horrified and flustered in equal measure. almost in disbelief, as he immediately began to gush about the outfit in his hands. look at the bows, isn’t it cute? god, you’re going to look so pretty. i mean, you always do, obviously, but —

you weren’t really listening. all your mind could do was spin in circles, trying to get some read on the situation, but it was just no good. he genuinely, thoroughly, truly and sincerely expected you to put on a goddamn maid outfit. 

if he had bought it for himself, then maybe you would've been at least a little bit excited. you’re sure he'd look good in it; with those big blue eyes of his, that cute, happy grin. so good that your heart would probably combust, a little. melt through the floorboards. 

but no — he wanted you to wear it. 

and despite your instant, firm protests, he just will not give it up. your boyfriend is a stubborn man, so it’s no surprise, but it’s still enough to irk you.

”satoru, for real. no! i’m not wearing it!”

”but you’d look so good,” he whines, loud and grating as he inches closer to you. still holding the dress up like a prize; you back away, instinctively, like it’ll burn if you touch it.

”i don’t care! it’s a maid outfit! why the hell would i ever wear it?” 

sunglasses seated at the bridge of his nose, satoru allows you to catch a glimmer of his eyes — an effective method of persuasion. he definitely knows their power, and he’s definitely flaunting them for the sole purpose of making you falter. that manipulative scumbag.

the fact that it actually works makes you even angrier, though.

a sharp turn of your head, and your gaze falls on the windowpane, lingering there as you grumble under your breath. he’s so annoying. you’re growing more and more flustered by the minute, too. 

”— because you love me?” 

satoru tilts his head, white locks of hair following the movement. soft and silky, nice to run your fingers through, but you chase the thought away as soon as it enters your subconscious. he looks almost hypnotizing under the sunlight, with the golden rays illuminating his features, smoothing over the contours of his face — as if the sun was made solely to shine on his skin.

and ah, you think, there we go. satoru’s classic tactic; using your love for him as a bargaining chip, pouting down at you like a kicked puppy. you like to picture his eyes all watery and glassy, everytime he tries it, as if he’s some rejected cartoon-mascot. so silly. 

valiantly, you fight off the temptation to smile, gracing him with another little scoff instead. shooting him an unimpressed look, a tiny raise of your eyebrow. ”that won’t work on me.”

”aww, come on,” he almost coos, inching closer still. ”don’t you love me? my sweetiepie? my cute lil’ mochi?” 

(he’s getting bolder with the petnames, you note. as if that’d change anything. they’re so cheesy it makes you recoil.)

”obviously.” you deadpan, trying your best not to let affection seep into the words. but you see satoru’s lips curl up, anyway. ”i’m still not wearing it, though. sorry.”

satoru sighs. heavy, exasperated — dare you say defeated? for a second, you delude yourself into thinking he might actually give in, for once, spare you both the trouble — 

until he falls to the floor, knees hitting the soft flooring with a loud thud. awfully dramatic. he clasps his hands together as if to beg and plead, a starved dog at your feet, and gazes up at you with newfound determination.

”please, baby — i’m begging you,” he groans, voice sad and pained, agonized, like you just threatened to break up with him. silly, silly man.

”don’t grovel.” a sigh drops from your lips as the pads of your fingers go to massage your temples. soothing what you’re almost sure is an incoming headache.

and he makes a certain noise, almost a whimper, like you just kicked him in the gut. you glance down at him as if to signal really? with your eyes, lips parting to speak — 

but your breath only hitches in your throat, and no sound comes out.

satoru’s eyes are almost teary. peeking out from behind his shades, big and glassy, eyelashes dewy with what you know are just crocodile tears. he’s far too skilled at it for his own good, though — maybe you should be supporting his acting career, instead of the weird teacher-slash-sorcerer thing he’s got going on.

and you’re weak, you realize, terribly so. because something deep within your chest constricts, at those sad eyes, heart squeezed painfully, and when you speak you note that your voice sounds a lot softer. 

”satoru,” you sigh, again; more resigned this time, a little fatigued. missing the way his eyes glint at the sound, as if sensing an opportunity. ”really. i’m sorry i wasted your money, but it’s just… not happening. okay?” 

attempting to sound delicate, your voice settles on a soothing tilt, like an adult speaking to a tantrum-throwing child. hoping it’ll be enough to make him falter even slightly. 

it isn’t, of course; if anything, his determination only grows. 

”even just for a short while?” he tries, voice sweet and pliant. all daisies and sunbeams, tailormade to tug at your heartstrings. ”just an hour or so! then i’ll be satisfied.”

”an hour? no way!” you scoff.

and this time, you don’t miss it. from behind those shades, a certain glimmer of something flickers through his irises — something keen and observant. a certain dread crawls its way down your spine.

”so it’s fine if it’s less?” he grins, changing tactics, smooth and decisive. ”half an hour. that’s as low as i’ll go.”

”oh my god.” an exhale, drawn out and exhausted, from the very depths of your chest. ”satoru. toru. no. i’m not wearing it at all. this isn’t an auction.”

”but it could be,” he purrs, still on his knees. it makes him look a little bit disturbed. ”c’mon. why are you getting so shy? guess what — i’ll even settle for twenty minutes. just for you.”

oh, he’s just awful. you want so badly to be mad at him, and that teasing, smug, shit-eating little smirk of his — but you can’t. 

not when he looks so effortlessly pretty, bathed in the light of the sun, surrounded by a mellow glow so tender it makes him look something like an angel. not when he’s acting so characteristically himself, so stubborn and infuriating and entirely impossible not to love. 

another sigh. you’re a little surprised you have enough air left in your lungs to breathe it out, and as much as you hate to admit it, you’re beginning to grow just a bit tired of the back and forth. ”i’m not shy,” you huff. ”i just don’t want to. it won’t look good on me, anyway.”

satoru blinks. genuine surprise shines in his eyes, for a second, like you caught him off guard. ”huh? of course it will. why wouldn’t it?”

a pause. gnawing at your bottom lip, you avert your gaze, trying to find the words. ”it’s just… tacky,” you settle on. ”it’ll look weird.”

”it won’t! you’ll look so cute!”

another huff, as your dispassionate, bored gaze meets his. ”and how do you know that?”

satoru's answer is instantaneous. ”you always look cute. just wanna see how you look in this,” he chirps, brandishing the outfit with barely contained excitement. thoroughly giddy. ”when i saw it, i knew it’d look adorable on you. and i’m never wrong!”

a soft pout plays at your lips, in the wake of his eager sincerity. barely noticeable, just a little embarrassed, but it’s there. and satoru’s seen it, finally — the road to victory. he knows he can win this, if he’s smart about it.

”i just wanna see you in it. just for a second. please? pretty please?” he tilts his head, tantalizing, showing off the blue of his eyes and the curl of his lips. ”then i’ll never ask you for anything again. promise!”

”okay, that’s a lie and we both know it.”

the grin that blooms on your lips is a mistake, you quickly realize, because satoru interprets any sign of joy on your face as positive approval. his determination grows.

”yeah, yeah… but i mean it! i won’t bother you if you just wear it once. just once!” he puts a single finger up, to emphasize the point. ”just wanna see my precious baby all frilly and cute. won’t you indulge me, oh my dearest?”

he’s grinning, now, all soft and teasing. it’s more breathtaking than he’ll ever understand. he’ll never even come close to understanding how gorgeous he is, like this — when there’s no one around to perform for, when he can just be himself. when it’s just you, and satoru, and the feeling of having all the time in the world.

(even if you don’t.)

and you know your face must be flushed, a soft cherry red, as your gaze falls to the floor. the heat on your cheeks and neck, the pitter patter of your heartbeat; you feel it all. 

and it’s embarrassing, to find yourself so fervently twisted around someone’s finger — to find that you don’t even really mind. being wrapped around satoru’s finger isn’t so awful, all things considered. it’s a scary thought, for sure, but he’d never abuse the privilege. probably.

— a sigh. 

you still don’t want to wear it. you really don’t. it’s just awful. tacky, and embarrassing, and overall unpleasant. 

… but if it’ll get him to stop nagging you like this… 

and if it’s just for a short while…

silence, only silence, spilling into the sunkissed air. outside your apartment, the sky melts into a buttery orange hue. an intense contemplation is etched into your eyes, and satoru takes note of it; opting to put the final nail in the coffin. his very last bid.

”fifteen minutes. then you’re —”

”ten minutes,” you cut him off. sounding just a tad exhausted — resigned to your fate. 

and satoru doesn’t even bother trying to hide his excitement. suddenly beaming, he shoots up to his feet, and it causes you to jolt. ”perfect,” he grins, holding the dress out toward you. a little too eager for your liking.

”— but seriously. i’m only wearing it once. never again,” you tilt your head. ”got it?” satoru just nods, happily, so excited he’s practically jumping up and down — and despite everything, you still can’t find it in you to be angry. 

he looks so earnestly giddy.

eyes brimming with suspicion and weariness, your hands reach out to take it into your arms; the puffy dress, the frilly headwear, and the black thigh highs. you’re surprised he didn’t invest in a pair of shoes, while he was at it. just to complete the set.

(you decide not to comment on it, knowing he’d have some poor, overworked shoemaker on the phone within seconds.)

”need my help putting it on?” he purrs, face suddenly very close to yours — and the sudden stutter of your heartbeat sparks a hitch of your throat. desperate to cover it up, you shoot him a hefty glare.

”oh, shut up,” you hiss, but satoru only grins wider. soft little giggles flowing from his lips, like a schoolgirl teasing her upperclassman. silly.

a heavy hesitance rests on your features, as you give the outfit another chance. judgemental eyes trailing over the bows and frills, giving it a thorough look, until your lips curl down into a soft frown. it’s not that bad, but…

”it’s kinda ugly,” you lie, decisively.

”really? i think it’s cute, though.” 

”yeah, ’cause you have no taste.” a click of your tongue. ”what’s so great about maid outfits, anyway? i don’t see the appeal.”

satoru smiles. carefree, amused — still very much teasing. ”well, we’re about to find out,” he chirps.

you give him a look, eventually giving way to a soft exhale. ”fine — but only ten minutes. at most.” a pause, as you stop to think. what else? ”oh, and no taking pictures.”

”— i’m taking pictures.”

…

the exasperated look you send his way doesn’t seem to phase satoru even in the slightest. he continues to smile at you, unbothered, soft around the edges, and you know you’re not winning this one either.

”… fine,” you sigh. ”but — not too many, okay? and you aren’t allowed to show anyone, either.”

”of course not,” he scoffs, almost offended. ”as if i’d let anyone else see you like that.”

stuck between feeling relieved and put off, you settle on simply letting it go. and satoru continues to speak, reassuringly, glossy lips shining in the sunlight as they part.

”rest assured, baby,” he hums, a melodic lilt to his sugarsweet voice. ”this stays between us. i swear on my honour.”

you snort. ”like you’ve got any of that.”

”mean. anyway — c’mon. i can’t wait any longer.” before you can think to protest, he’s ushering you away in the direction of the bathroom, big hands heavy on your shoulders as they push you. still hesitant, you make no move to resist.

(what have you gotten yourself into?)

with one final sigh, your fingers curl around the doorknob, outfit hanging off your arm. not before sending one final glance back at satoru, reinstating your conditions. ”just this once. then you’re selling it. or burning it.”

”yes, yes — you have my word,” he promises. before you can narrow your eyes, he pushes you forward, gently; bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet. ”go on, i’m waiting!”

”yeah, yeah…”

the door closes behind you with a soft thud, and the reality of the situation begins to finally dawn on you. the maid outfit weighs heavy on your heart, but light in your arms — you gaze down at it with pure contempt. it’s not like you have a choice, though. satoru won’t let you wriggle away from this one. and maybe, just maybe, a part of you wants to indulge him, after all.

(his smile shone so brightly, in the light of the sun.)

and it’s almost cautious, the way you begin to dress yourself; first the thigh highs, black and silky, then the outfit itself. pulling it over your head, your arms sneaking through the openings. 

it’s a perfect fit. 

a second passes. you stop to think, brows furrowing in suspicion — did the little bastard measure you? just to make sure he got it exactly right? he has been rummaging through your closet more than usual, recently, but you didn’t think much of it. over the years, you’ve conditioned yourself not to question the things that he does. that sneaky, sneaky man.

after putting on the headwear, you finally lift your gaze, tentative and slow — to take a peek at your own reflection. the flush on your face stands out, a contrast to the black and white colour scheme of the outfit. 

and you can’t help but exhale, a little exasperated.

it’s so… frilly. there are frills on the sleeves, on the shoulderpads, on the skirt, on the hems… everywhere. little bows litter the surface of the smooth fabric, a big one attached to the collar, and several smaller ones across the sleeves. 

and as much as you loath to admit it — it is kind of cute. 

still, you can’t shake the feeling that you’re only embarrassing yourself. it’s hard not to think, when a maid outfit is staring into your soul through the mirror — and you just so happen to be wearing it.

(what the hell are you even doing?)

a low groan slips from your lips, and you crouch down, to bury your face in your knees. the flush of your cheeks is beginning to spread towards the tips of your ears, growing hotter by the minute. satoru’s about to see you like this, of all people. how on earth will he react?

(what if he thinks it looks weird, too?) 

”i’m still waiting!” a voice suddenly exclaims, sing-songy and sweet, and closer than you realized. has he just been standing there and waiting in silence, this whole time? of course he has.

”just —” you croak out, words a little strangled. ”just… give me a minute.”

satoru lets out a high-pitched whine, cheek pressed against the cold wood of the door. ”but i’ve been waiting so long already!” he complains, pouting, the urge to see you growing unbearable. impatience tugging at his heart, so excited he can barely pull himself together.

(all he can think of is you, you, you.)

curling up into a little ball, you attempt to swallow the bundle of nerves in the back of your throat — but that jittery, feather-light feeling of your heartbeat just won’t go away. it makes you feel a little paralyzed.

you're actually, genuinely, sincerely about to go show off a goddamn maid outfit. what the hell.

when you finally grasp control over your vocal cords and part your lips to speak, the voice that spills out into the air sounds more than a little meek. but you can’t quite bring yourself to care, overcome by a heart-tingling nervosity and the heat of your skin.

 ”… i don’t want to.”

satoru pauses. 

he can picture you, in his mind’s eye; the way you must look, right now. clad in frills and a cute little skirt, face flushed red and embarrassed, as you shift from foot to foot. and it takes concentrated effort, to bite back the coo that threatens to crawl up his throat — but he knows it’s still not too late for you to change your mind. if he wants to see you, he needs to be careful. so he tactfully opts not to tease you.

”come on, angel,” he soothes, instead. voice smooth like honey, like coffee with cream and too much sweetener. ”don’t be embarrassed.”

you stay silent, still attempting to suffocate the tinge of humiliation in the depths of your chest. so satoru continues. ”just come on out, hm? might as well get it over with. then you won’t have to think of it again.”

a moment passes.

”… do i have to?”

the corners of his lips curl up.

ah, you’re so cute. all embarrassed, almost childish, in the way you’re still trying to be difficult; and satoru just indulges you, all too eager to get you to show yourself to him. ”yes, you do,” he coos. ”be good f' me and come on out, okay?”

a couple moments pass. eerily silent, growing second by second. the only sound that fills the air is that of satoru’s soft breathing, the distant whirring of the ceiling fan.

until finally, he hears the squeak of the bathroom floor. you stand up, turning to glance at your reflection in the mirror one last time, before hesitantly reaching for the doorknob.

it’s slow, the way you open the door, agonizingly so — pushing at it slightly and dragging the movement out. and you can feel satoru’s presence, right behind it, as he takes a step back to give you space. when you finally step over the threshold, you adamantly refuse to meet his gaze.

(satoru’s breath hitches in his throat.)

there you stand, gaze stubbornly averted, expression flustered and mildly annoyed. cheeks dusted a dark cherry-red, that crawls towards the tips of your ears as you fidget with your frilly, oversized sleeves. they’re dressed in little bows, awfully cute, and so is the skirt — short, but not enough to expose the skin of your thighs above the thigh highs. you still squirm a little, thighs pressed together. 

and then, of course, the big bow on your collar to complete the look. pink in colour, a stark contrast to the whites and blacks of the remaining outfit.

after a moment passes with nothing but pure silence, your lips part to speak. doing anything you can to stop yourself from looking over at the man in front of you, afraid of what you’ll see. ”i don’t think it suits me,” is muttered, a tiny huff. ”… and i still don’t see the appeal, by the way.”

— but satoru doesn’t answer. 

he just stares. uncharacteristically silent, in a way you’re wholly unaccustomed to. enough so that you find yourself gnawing at your bottom lip, fidgeting with the hem of the skirt, hoping the smooth texture will soothe your nerves a little. the beating of your heart resounds in your ears, sending blood flowing through your veins with excited pumps.

the silence festers, and all you can do is let it grow, your nervosity thickening with it — until it’s just too much to bear. 

(ahh, you knew it. it really does look weird, doesn’t it? that’s to be expected. 

still, you can’t help but feel just slightly dejected.) 

”… why aren’t you saying anything?” 

the little mumble comes out sounding embarrassed, and maybe just a little defeated, too. but satoru doesn’t hear it. as your gaze falls on the man in question, slowly, you take in his expression with a frown on your face — and realize that he isn’t just keeping quiet. 

he’s completely stunned. 

no matter how hard you stare, you can’t seem to get a good read on his expression. he’s just standing there, face completely blank, eyes entirely obscured by the black of his shades. the light streaming in through the glass of the windows has shifted its course, falling away from the two of you — but you still see the vague, red tinge crawling up his neck. 

and as soon as you spot it, satoru begins his descent.

crouching down to the floor, silently, he brings his hands up to cover his face. feet against the ground with his knees folded, pressed against his chest, stilling as he inhales sharply. shades seated on top of his head, pushed up by his hands when he buried his face in them. a groan drops from his lips, muffled by the skin of his palms — but you can hear it clear as day.

”hold on, just… give me a minute…” he finally croaks out, words somehow tiny. almost shy. 

upon closer inspection, you realize your eyes weren’t deceiving you — there really is a red hue to his neck, one you aren’t used to seeing on him. strawberry-tinged dust, staining his smooth skin, the tips of his burning ears. satoru actually looks flustered, for once. and your heart can’t help but flutter.

— he thinks he might actually, genuinely die.

it’s a wonder, he thinks, that he managed not to fall to his knees the very moment he laid eyes on you. all dolled up; frilly and cute, in his own words, though they don’t come even close to properly describing how adorable you look right now. with your flushed face, shy eyes, and all those little frills and bows adorning your dress. rendering him speechless, clogging up his throat with pure unbridled love. a mouthful of honey, too sweet for even him to swallow.

god. god. he really, really needs to pull himself together.

crouched down like this, face hidden behind his hands, he can physically feel himself grow more and more flustered. senses invaded by the sound of his heartbeat, deep and visceral, until it’s all he can hear — he knew you were going to look cute, obviously, but he was seriously underestimating you. your cuteness is lethal. 

even just the sight makes him weak in the knees. even just the thought of you makes him feel a little like his heart is attempting to break out of his chest. hurling itself at his ribcage with ferocious resolve, like he could keel over and die of heart failure at any given moment. he’s pleasantly surprised that he’s managed to suppress the loud squeal his body keeps trying to let out, honestly.

and while satoru struggles with his deep, internal turmoil, all you can do is watch. looking down at him with wide eyes, as his skin flushes a bright pink, like little chrysanthemums blooming from his neck up to his ears. 

yeah, you think, there’s no doubt about it. satoru is flustered. it’s not a side of him you get to see very often, so you can’t help but be just slightly caught off guard. staring at him silently, until you snap out of it, eyes simmering with something soft and delighted.

he’s so cute.

(and maybe, just maybe — it makes you want to tease him, a little bit.)

so you crouch down, facing him with your knees against your chest, jaw resting on your crossed forearms as you gaze at him. he’s still not looking at you, face hidden behind his palms, shying away from your view.

and then you sigh. the sound catches his attention, soft — and just a little bit dejected.

”… you’re the one who wanted me to wear it,” your lips curl down into a pout, ”and now you won’t even look at me?”

satoru stiffens. 

(you sound sad. you sound disappointed.)

slowly, he parts his fingers, desperate to soothe you — blue eyes peeking out through the gaps, as if the sight of you could blind him. he then proceeds to move his hands, tentative, laboured, like he’s dragging heavy weights off his body. like it’s a struggle. 

with his face finally exposed, all flushed and pretty, bright azure eyes stare at you; brimming with pure adoration. 

satoru exhales, almost shaky. he has to take another moment to simply look at you, as if drinking in every inch of your expression. memorizing every corner of the face he’s grown to love so much.

a moment passes. then two.

then, he practically pounces on you — engulfing you like a tidal wave, trapping you in his big arms as they go to curl around your waist. shades falling off at the impact, hitting the floor with a soft thunk.

”you’re killing me,” he whines, loud and right by your ear. nuzzling into you, squeezing you like he’s a puppy with a chew toy. ”you’re so, so, so cute. d’you want me to have a heart attack?”

a hitch of your breath. that’s all you can manage, utterly failing to keep up with him as he presses you up against his chest. rocking you back and forth in his embrace, smearing open mouthed kisses across your skin; whining and murmuring about how adorable you look. 

a flurry of warmth, of love, of something a little too precious for words. something distinctly satoru, that makes you forget about everything else — as if the world stops spinning somewhere outside of his arms. as if that’s where you belong.

all you can do is indulge him. maybe you’re spoiling him a little too much, but it feels nice; letting him drown you in his overwhelming affection. the thought of creasing the dress doesn’t even seem to cross his mind, as he squeezes the life out of you.

evidently, satoru suffers from an acute case of cuteness aggression. 

”so adorable,” he murmurs, leaving wet kisses on your cheeks. his exaggerated mwahs make you feel just a tad shy. ”my little sweetheart. all dressed up for me.” 

squirming in his hold, he only brings you closer, smothering you in his warm embrace. the slightly erratic beating of his heart is all you can hear, with your cheek squished against his chest. arms keeping you nice and still, lips lingering over that one ticklish spot behind your ear. 

a little giggle slips from your lips, and satoru feels himself smile; wide and giddy, boyish and adoring. nuzzling into the comfort of your chest, soft fabric brushing against his skin, a low whine escapes his throat. ”can't take it. wanna put you in my pocket.”

”your pocket?” a grin blooms on your lips, words dripping with honeyed amusement. satoru grins right back.

”my pocket,” he hums, approvingly. ”you’re just so cute and small. gotta keep you close, so i don’t lose you.”

a huff, lighthearted. 

suddenly, the grip around your midriff tightens — and you’re hoisted up, stumbling a little as satoru lets go of you. still holding onto you by your wrists, softly, delicately, as if you’re made of glass. when you lift your head, all you can see is his satisfied little grin, and the twinkle of his eyes.

your heart flutters. 

satoru gazes at you, silently, still drinking you in. every second spent staring into the brightness of your eyes fills his heart up just a little more; colourful, heart-shaped candies, scooped up and poured into the hole in his chest. patching it right back up, so effortlessly sweet that it makes him want to pluck every star from the sky and offer them at your feet. 

”alright,” he breathes, taking a step back. breaking the delicate silence, a little dance between him and time. fingers still curled around your wrist. ”do a twirl for me.”

a humoured scoff. ”hell no.”

”aw, come on! you gotta pose for the photo, baby.”

before you know it, satoru’s got his phone out — and it’s aimed right at you. by the time you notice it, you’re fairly certain he’s already managed to snap a couple pictures. so all you can do is sigh, in faux exasperation.

”c’mon, c’mon,” he coos. ”give me a smile, pretty.”

a roll of your eyes, as you bite your lip to muffle a soft bout of laughter. it doesn’t really work. ”i’m good.”

satoru seems unaffected by your words, pulling back from your touch reluctantly; just so he can make a show out of playing the cameraman, switching between elaborate positions and taking pictures from angle after angle. somehow, you get the feeling he’s forgotten your request to keep the pictures to a minimum.

(he looks like he’s having fun, though. so you let it slide. just this once.)

”god. you’re way too cute for your own good, you know that?” he murmurs, leaning down to take another picture. and it flusters you, how smoothly the words slip from his lips, how it seems like he barely even has to think about them at all. 

it’s a little embarrassing, in a heart-fluttering kind of way. but you do your best to hide it.

”you’re a sap,” is all you say, soft smile playing at your lips. 

”and you’re adorable,” satoru grins. 

then he slips his phone into his back pocket, satisfied with the collection, and grabs your hand.

his fingers curl around yours, softly — and then he lifts it up. bringing it to his lips. they’re warm, as he kisses across your knuckles, the tips of your fingers. soft as a feather, tickling your skin. 

(as if he’s whispering psalms under his breath. as if he’s worshipping you.)

then he tilts his head, eyes gazing at you sweetly. sweeter than fresh mandarin slices, splotches of marmalade, his favorite caramel fudge. and his eyes crinkle, crow’s feet and dimples peeking out as he smiles, an easygoing kind of joy blooming on that pretty face of his — youthful, boyish. it suits him more than anything.

his voice comes out smooth, awfully coaxing. so very easy to give in to, paired with that breathtaking grin. 

”one tiny twirl?” he asks, politely.

he’s so annoying. 

(but you’re far too in love to say no.)

so with a single roll of your eyes, and a soft little scoff, you relent. indulging him once more, just one more time. just one little twirl.

satoru feels his heart squeeze painfully, deep within his chest, as he watches you spin around. skirt and frills ruffled by the movement. just once, a soft little twirl with your fingers intertwined. far too precious for his heart to take.

when you stop, just a tiny bit dizzy, he leans in, and the kiss he leaves on your forehead is soft. chaste, but it still pulls a blissful sigh from the back of your throat. satoru’s lips curl up against your skin, before he pulls back — eyes almost overflowing with affection.

”cutie.”

you blink. 

averting your gaze, flustering a little under the weight of his love-filled eyes, all you can do is emit a soft little huff. embarrassed, as it flows from your lips. but it only makes satoru’s smile grow further.

”okay, okay. you’ve had your fun.” you clear your throat. ”time’s up.”

suddenly, satoru’s eyes fill with something akin to dread — nose crinkling, just barely, a sign of his displeasure. ”noooo,” he whines, draping his arms around you. tugging you close. ”just a little more? please? pretty please?”

”nope! we said ten minutes. no take backs.”

”can’t i have an extension? since i’m your favorite?” satoru pouts, puppy dog eyes in full force. only this time, they don’t work as well as he’d hoped.

”nope,” you repeat, popping the p. ”sorry.” another whine buzzes right by your ear, and you smile. 

”and then we’re burning it.”

”noooo!” 

”sorry, but it’s gotta go.” you bite back a soft grin. satoru sounds agonized, voice dripping with grief, and it makes your heart dance with barely contained laughter.

”but then you can’t wear it anymore, baby…”

”that’s kinda the point, toru.”

”but you’re so cute in it,” he pouts, bringing you closer still. squeezing at your waist and rubbing his cheek against the top of your head. ”it’d be such a waste if you never wore it again, don’tcha think?”

he’s trying his best, you can tell — attempting to make you falter, coax you into wearing it just a little longer. but for today, you’re done indulging him.

”well, too bad.” nuzzling into his neck, your tone settles on a firm tilt; decisive, as you nip at his skin. just a little teasing. ”i said i’d never wear it again, and i meant it.”

a moment passes. maybe it’s the warmth of your lips on his skin, or maybe he can tell you aren’t budging — whatever the case, satoru finally seems to relent. an exhale tumbles from his tongue, deep and drawn out. ”fineee,” he drawls. ”i’ll just buy you a new one.”

”i won’t wear it. i’ll just get angry.”

”at lil’ old me? really?”

”really really,” you click your tongue. ”if you love maid outfits so much, why don’t you wear one yourself?” a beat. ”it’d look good on you.”

satoru perks up, suddenly. pulling away so his eyes can meet yours, bright and teasing, glazed over with something excited. ”oh?” he purrs. ”you wanna see me in one, huh? so bold, baby.”

a scoff slips from your lips, sharp but tinged with laughter. ”well, it’s only fair, right?” grinning up at him, your hand reaches out to smooth away his bangs. fingertips trailing across the expanse of skin, touch so very tender that his eyes flutter shut. ”i think you’d pull it off better than i ever could, anyway.”

a hum buzzes in his throat, seconds ticking by slowly; a dance with him and time. an attempt to prolong the softness of the moment.

”hmm… well, i’ll consider it.” just barely holding back a smile, he leans into your touch. ”you gotta wear it with me, though. we can buy a matching set!”

”that makes no sense,” you huff, with a raise of your brow. ”i’ve already worn it once, so next time, it’s gotta be all you.”

”sorry, baby, but you need to do it too.” he cradles you close, smoothing a palm down your spine, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. chest rumbling with the smooth timbre of his voice, words rich with teasing fondness. ”i’m too shy to do it by myself.”

and you really, really wish you could be angry with him — but it’s just impossible. 

satoru is just way too lovable, smile far too sunny and warm for you not to melt under. and his caress says more than words ever could, light and doting, careful and loving; like how a believer cups a handful of holy water. as if you could slip from his grasp at any moment, so he has to keep you extra close.

in the end, all protests and complaints die on your tongue. you only laugh, soft and breathy, filling the air with a fondness so palpable you can almost taste it. bordering on something close to a scoff, but never quite getting there. 

eventually, satoru does — begrudgingly — let you change out of the outfit. whining a little, sulking a tad, before brightening right back up again. like clockwork, the sun peeking out after a rain shower, the calm after the storm. always that same happy smile, wrapping you around his little finger.

satoru, in all his glory; your very own pocket of sunshine. annoying, stubborn, thoughtful — 

and yours, wholly and thoroughly.

(while you’re busy gazing at him adoringly, satoru grumbles under his breath. contemplation painted on his features, as his mind spins in circles. frills, bows, lace…

what kind of design would make him look the prettiest for you?)

[baidar-oroq]

Of self indulgent AUs

Rambling about my writing under the cut.

So, as I said a bit ago, I simply needed so much to process my feelings and emotions over Venat that I was going to require an AU to do it. I've never really felt the need to come up with an AU for Baidar, simply because he's been a happy boy with Y'shtola and Darya and others in his polycule and his story has largely aligned with events in game to the point that it would take something drastic to cause one to happen.

Elpis and Venat were, indeed, drastic enough.

As I played through Elpis, I came to realize something about Baidar, something that was clearly going to cause a world of hurt where his story was concerned: he was falling in love with Venat. Pretty much from the moment she challenged him to a fight just to impress her dog, actually. (I posted a fic called 'Sing' a bit ago that showed her challenge to him, and when he thought "I could learn to fall in love with you" is the point, looking back, where I realized how deep he had gotten.) However, I couldn't really do much about it because, all other considerations aside, Baidar openly loving Venat back in the past felt like he was cheating on his partners, especially Y'shtola, who had spent three years on the First without doing something similar. I wrote a few, hesitant things trying to square this circle without changing the storyline of the game, and they were nice, but they weren't working.

Hence, the AU.

My initial concept for the AU was simple: this would be a Baidar without partners, without the RP storylines he's been involved in...and one where Baidar and Y'shtola did not overcome her three year absence from him. I also did one more, simple thing: I allowed the fact that time travel meant Baidar could arrive at the moment he left to let him spend more time in Elpis with Venat. One of my inspirations came from Dan Simmons' Hyperion novels, where a character used time travel to spend nearly two years with another character before going off to eventually die in the series' storyline. Rather than going to his death, though, Baidar was unknowingly going to Venat's. Beyond that, the story remained unchanged, and actually had a decent shot of being a bad ending where Baidar died while killing Zenos before fate intervened.

It was in looking at other AUs that I realized that since I was already not paying attention to Endwalker's story that I could, if I could figure it out, find a way to keep the story intact-because good god I did not want to change a note of the MSQ-and also give Baidar and Venat a happy ending. And, well, I found a way. I'm not sure how good a way it is, but it's my self indulgent fluffy fanfic and I'm who I am writing it for. (It involves a timeskip, among other things. I argued massively on Reddit against Endwalker having a timeskip, so the fact that I had one in my AU is ironic as hell.) Moreover, I managed to tie it into a massive future FFXIV fic I've been seeding notions for through my writing, and I felt witty and clever and I was going to start writing it and get the happy ending and then set up the space and time traveling epic that came next...

And promptly proceeded, instead, to write three small scale, intimate stories where two deeply scarred, emotionally hurting people began healing each other by loving and supporting each other.

And I'm not disappointed in the least, even if I wanted to write something huge and self-indulgent and ridiculous in scale. Let that come later. Right now I'm getting far more satisfaction writing this, and that's what self indulgent AUs are for!