#but i am a coward so i havent committed

[farmhandler]

Idk if this is exactly cablepool but maybe cable’s pov when Wade called him 17 times in the not-sex-pollen fic and the events after that? (Tbh I’m still not sure whether cable ACTUALLY had business at the mansion or if he went there because he knew Wade would be going there and needed to keep an eye on him)

First, thank you for the ask and the prompt! Sorry it took so long :') This was a fun little challenge since I have never written from his POV! Cable 100% thought Wade might be there because, in my mind, he knew about the mission beforehand. Cable likes to keep track of all related goings-on in a way that's probably not healthy, but for the sake of the scene it took some time for those dots to connect.

Read the fic here

---

Nathan was in the shower when his phone started ringing. He liked to play relaxing music while he bathed, and that night was no exception, despite the late hour. He kept the volume relatively low regardless.

Eventually, partway through his shower, he noticed there was something about the music on his carefully curated playlist that was bothering him. It was different. He couldn’t put his finger on it until the music faded away in between songs and he realized his phone had been ringing in the other room. For over five minutes, based on the songs that had been playing.

The ringtone was the one he’d set for Wade.

Then his phone kept on ringing. And ringing. And ringing. Nathan ripped open the shower curtain and hastily shoved a towel around his hips to grab it from his desk. His fingers were wet when he tried to answer the call, so he missed it. The number of missed calls flashed on screen. Nathan swore.

It started ringing again. He wiped his hands on the towel and put it on speaker.

“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately.

Wade said nothing. Thirty seconds went by. That was very unusual. Typically, his silence involved other forms of noise; Wade had butt-dialed Nathan countless times on missions, and Nathan was treated to the sound of Wade eviscerating opponents or singing show tunes.

“Wade,” Nathan said.

“Sorry. I was so surprised you answered that I lost my train of thought,” Wade said. Nathan had known Wade long enough now to recognize the slightest waver in his voice. “Why’d you answer? It’s way past dinner time. Shouldn’t you be chewing the cud of your undigested protein shakes?”

Nathan took his phone with him to the closet while he began preparing an outfit. “You called me 19 times. I assumed it was important.”

“So I did.”

Wade’s breath gushed over the receiver. The waver hadn’t left his voice. It was immediately concerning, particularly if he was calling Nathan that many times in a row when Logan should have been readily nearby.

“So what’s wrong?” Nathan prodded. “Why did you call me?”

By the time Nathan had set his phone down and thrown on a shirt, Wade hadn’t answered.

“Wade,” Nathan said again. He couldn’t keep the concern from his voice. Considering the hour and the circumstances, it was warranted.

When he spoke, Wade’s voice was steady, but his words were no less concerning.

“Do you happen to have any rusty nails lying around? I’m fresh out and I really, really need some. Super important. That’s why I had to call you so many times. I just couldn’t think of another person so in tune with this specific force of nature to turn to.”

Deflection: Wade’s typical defense mechanism. Nathan couldn’t help his sigh.

“Where’s Logan?”

The call ended. Nathan swore and tried calling him back, but Wade declined the call.

For some time, Nathan rationalized it away. It was late, he was tired, and Wade was an adult perfectly capable of handling himself. With Logan as a partner, there was no reason for Nathan to worry unduly.

Nathan sat at his desk, half dressed, hair dripping, staring unseeingly at a report.

Damn it.

He finished getting dressed and wrung the rest of the water out of his hair. Then h grabbed his keys and walked outside.

Frigid air greeted him. His truck was parked at the nearby parking deck, so he walked there. Wade hadn’t indicated anything was truly wrong, and he could survive anything, so Nathan didn’t rush, but he wasn’t unhurried.

He tentatively extended his mind; his telepathic abilities could give him Wade’s location, even if he couldn’t read his mind, but they only extended so far.

Wherever Wade was, he was already out of range.

Nathan pulled out of the parking deck and started driving. There were several options available to him. He called Al, but her not answering meant that Wade probably wasn’t at his old apartment.

If Logan wasn’t nearby, then he was either still on a mission or at the X-Mansion. Based on the recent reports, Logan had been slated to go on his first away mission that very night. Nathan knew Wade had tagged along. If Wade was back, it was likely Logan had returned as well. So where was he?

Nathan attempted to call Logan, but predictably there was no answer.

While Logan and Nathan didn’t always share the same views, he was an adequate partner for Wade. He clearly cared deeply, which was more than enough to appease most of Nathan’s concerns. He wouldn’t have left Wade in a state of upset without reason.

Nathan arrived at the mansion just in time to see Wade getting out of a car. He recognized Dopinder as he passed him by, and Nathan parked on one side of the road. He would move his car later.

By the time he caught up to Wade, he was about to smash through a window, which would set off all the alarms Nathan had painstakingly convinced the team of and installed.

After he stopped Wade with his telekinesis, the withering glare that Wade delivered to him was enough to make Nathan believe he had made the right choice. Wade looked upset, and while Nathan couldn’t read his mind due to his healing factor, the thoughts leaking through were enough to cause concern.

I fucked up and did something

I didn’t listen

really hurting Logan

“Make your invisible arm let go of my arm, or I will fucking cut off your metal balls and dick,” Wade said.

“I have the access code,” Nathan replied, eyebrow raised. “The one the front door. That would be more effective than breaking a window. What are you doing here?”

Wade blinked a few times too many.

“The front door has a code? Show me.”

He proceeded to follow Wade through the mansion on his search for Logan. There were countless reasons Nathan had at the ready in case Wade questioned the validity of his presence, but Wade didn’t ask. Nathan’s probing questions went unanswered or deflected. Wade just kept insisting he was there to deliver Logan lunch.

By the time they made it downstairs, Wade’s agitation became increasingly obvious. He pulled his hoodie over his head and hunched on himself. His hands kept twitching to his neck, and he kept fiddling and pulling on his hoodie strings. Had they been alone together, Nathan would have forced the answer out of him and made him talk. As it stood, he could only watch as Wade failed to gain access to see Logan with growing desperation.

He would later regret not insisting alongside Wade sooner. He had known Wade was upset, but he hadn’t known how deeply it truly ran until Nathan said to him, “Jesus, of course you did,” and Wade started crying.

Nathan had never seen Wade cry.

He wouldn’t soon forget the pained, choking sob that left Wade’s throat just before his expression twisted and tears began to roll down his face.

Wade recovered—he always recovered—enough to make the usual jokes, but the shock and humiliation plain on Wade’s face were cemented in Nathan’s memory of that moment, and that and Wade pleading with him, teary-eyed and genuinely upset, were part of the reason he failed so spectacularly and allowed Wade to have his gun after Logan emerged from Beast’s lab.

[effyoudumbler]

Notes written while I was going insane 4.06

Maybe I should live

Commit

To giving someone a chance

Who

Who deserves what I have to offer

Well

Itll never go appreciated anyway

Very true

So

I dont know

Ill probably NEVER know

I cant just

Give it to anybody or everyone

That makes it even more likely to whiff

I know

Give it to those who havent gotten a chance

I wont commit to it

I am a lazy man

Than I will [redacted]

I will commit to commiting if nothing else

So I can commit to one thing

Giving someone the chance I never got

Who?

[redacted]

I would give it to someone who wants it

Duh

Maybe one who like me

Seeks a revolution

Within their mind

I dont know

…

I never got a chance

Maybe I can commit to a relationship

But everybody will

Screw everybody

Let them laugh at my dreams

They are all cowards

And if I keep it up

Theyll SHUT UP

and adapt to the new normal

I am scared of the future I cannot predict

I am scared it will mess up

I will make a mistake that cannot be undone

Time passing so swiftly

Everything and everyone crumbling away

If I truly have the fire to move

Than I will move

Whether or not I mess it up

I will move….

I will still move….

Revolution

Returning home

No matter what is across from me

Not a game anymore

Not a challenge

Not even a responsibility

Or an urge

No

Something deeper than that

A dream

My very lifes purpose

Leading up to that

Returning home

I can predict this future

I will return home

No matter what happens

For that is what home is

I must find home

And then I will see the future with perfect clarity

[redacted]

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[dragqueenpentheus]

Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:

PYROC VS FATHER PAUL

Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm

SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.

ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.

The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.

That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.

Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?

Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.

Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….

Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.

In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.

HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.

I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family

Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this

[r0d30-brqt]

Please tell me more about your flameswap au!

:3c

I only switched out the 10th gen bc I am lazy,, Yamamoto is a sky, Gokuderas main flame is now cloud, Tsuna and Ryohei are mists, Mukuro is a Sun, Lambo a rain and Chrome is a Lightning with a secondary flame that I havent decided on yet

tsuna is more of a coward and hates confrontation. he also has rly low presence and get ignored by p much everyone around him. he doesnt mind tho bc he doesnt wanna be seen anyway. when reborn comes in hes distressed, not bc of the baby with the gun but bc that baby's telling him he has to join the mafia and that means confrontation and thats an absolute no-go for him. he runs away from reborn to book it towards the school (which skips kyokos intro lol) but gets shot anyways. reborn sees the mist flames come out and starts praying for him to have secondary or else. (he doesnt lol)

oh yeah, tsunas still very much vongola blood wihich is why him not being a sky is just a bit of a problem

yamamotos basically the exact same in this? just kinda more friendly n has deeper friendships w his classmates/teammates too. he can see tsuna just fine n theyre basically already friends at the start, they just dont hang out as often in canon. thinks reborn is just a funny lil lad with a gun, as a treat

gokudera keeps more to himself and isnt as emotive in canon, he'll still go in depth abt umas if u let him tho. he also has low presence but thats from his training and habit than mist flames, he can see tsuna as well. he thinks theyre friends and tsuna begs to differ, also has a habit of accidentally threatening people which gets hibari on his ass p often

speaking of hibari, hes just,, so rabid. does the whole crowding thing but what does and doesnt count is based on fleeting whims and whether or not hes feeling violent. i think hed still take morettis body but also go after tsuna for commiting crimes in broad daylight like some kind of amateur.

lambo is just a lad! a littol dude! still sent to kill reborn but had a change of heart during his and reborns bar "conversation", thinks theyre best friends :) (reborn says he doesnt care about him but he absolutely claims him as one of his sons)

chrome is mean :3c as a treat and as her god given right. she is also feral, shows up to the varia fight and starts tossin levi, loses the fight but wins the battle bc shes just insulting him the whole time n ruining his dignity. she cares lambo and thats it. tolerates gokudera n hibari tho, just bc.

ryohei. why is he a mist??? funnie. leans into his "extreme" persona too much sometimes. i think he should be allowed to go batshit. i dont have much for him bc i dont have much to go off of from canon, he uses his illusions to give his punches a lil ✨spice✨

mukuro can do the exact same shit he does in canon. uses the light from his sun flames to make mirages. he takes hibaris body and immediately backs out to call him a freak. kinda just,, more normal? a lil cocky n smug but overall just a dude. probably the most normal one but sadly shoved into a tube for most the series. takes over gokudera sometimes to ramble his opinions and be a lil mean to them and then leaves.

[mjalti]

One decides to read the bio of an artist and you have them abusing women one way or another. Cheating on their wives, impregnating other women, hooking up with teens and forcing them to abort, not caring for their children, emotional/physical abuse and bragging about dehumanizing their partners. And it is not even a side effect of 'genius'. It is a side effect of being a man. I remain convinced God is punishing women for some shit through these monsters. Also women give way too much of a fuck .

sort of. at the end of the day i am forced to also acknowledge that some of the behavior is excused by the society of the man, not least of all the mothers and matriarchs of the families of the men. the people who perpetuate the behavior are the men, the ones who are solely responsible for the action is the person who committed it. if i know something is wrong and i know i will get away with committing it, that does not mean i have not committed a wrong. only that i have escaped punishment. if you do things to “escape punishment”, you are not doing something to “create good”. you are doing things as a coward. so at the end of the day for me, in my consumption of media and literature, i always go into it with a very human aspect of who the author was, what they did as well as their known impact. i know we were robbed of many more female genius than this sentence can impart meaning to. but i dont know that the women would have been different from the men. sometimes i think it is the fact that the power makes people power-drunk-- but ur character and who you are is defined by how much discipline you have and how much you can control ur impulses. sorry to ramble. i just think about this topic alot and havent really come to a conclusion in it all.

[geraltcirilla]

hey - i dont wanna start anything, i just wanted to ask sth to someone that seems rather fair (from what u post): i havent seen the ep (im not putting myself thru that bullshit) but i saw a parallel circulating, between dannyxjon and cerseixeuron; the dudes kneeling, ladies touching their face. it was so exactly the same, i am seriously wondering wtf is up??? are we supposed to make some kind of connection here?

i wouldn’t think anything of it but it was such a copy paste parallel, uknow. and theyve been telling us for like, a season and a half that danny and jon genuinely care about each other. am i supposed to start doubting that now? anyway i just wanted to ask SOMEONE (i dont know anyone on the fandom so youre king of my designated vent-bloger, apologies for that) have a good week, friend.

I actually haven’t scene that parallel so IDK how to respond to this??

Edit: Actually I think I know what specific scenes you are referring to so I think I can still comment. It’s not the same because when Cersei is touching Euron’s face she is manipulating him but when Dany is touching Jon’s face she is pleading to him, begging him, for her life and her throne. There is nothing manipulative about how she’s breaking it down to him, she’s being the most raw and honest self she has ever been to him.

//

As for like, the “they genuinely care about one another” thing, I think they do. I believe they do. But it’s more complicated than that.

Ok so I don’t really like talking about Jon and his relationships because I’m really only here for Gendrya. That’s all I care about. And there’s so much controversy and strong opinions about Jon’s love life and as someone who has little to no stake in it I don’t wanna get swept up in the chaos. But you know what? Whatever.

I’m putting this under a read-more though ‘cause I’m a coward lol.

In my opinion, Jon/erys never would have worked by the very nature of the fact they are aunt/nephew. Incest in this show has NEVER had a happy ending. It’s not meant to. Villains are the ones committing incest and even their relationships end in devastation. Look at how incest absolutely destroyed Jaime Lannister, a man who had the potential and capability of great good. A man who cared when a queen was being raped by her husband when no one else did, who cared when his father ordered the deaths of Princess Elia and her babies, who protected Brienne from being raped and values and admires honor. It made him the lowest form of scum on the Earth. It really just destroyed everything good he was and left nothing but revulsion and repulsion. And look at how incest absolutely decimated the Targaryens? Their line is basically gone. They’re over. And their incest is to blame for their downfall. (Their insanity is what turned the people against them and their insanity was a genetic result of the inbreeding.)

We knew before Jon and Dany ever met they were related, so we were warned long before their first kiss this was a mistake. And then during their first and only love-making scene we have Bran talking over it about how Jon’s name is Aegon Targaryen and he’s the heir to the Iron Throne. That was a huge, blinking neon sign that they were fucked. The whole love making scene was incredibly foreboding.

There was no universe in my mind where this worked out. I would not compare it to Euron/Cersei, because that’s entirely different. That’s just some gross ship we’re all a victim to being forced to witness.

Jon/erys is more of a continuing statement that the writers  are trying to make, that they’ve been making this whole time: incest ruins lives. It ruins anyone and everyone it touches. It ruined the Targaryens. It ruined the Lannisters. It’s ruined Jon and Dany.

[buppypaws]

idk whats up and its kinda stressing me out. idk whats wrong with me. idk why im so afraid to be someone’s significant other. do i have commitment issues or am i just a coward? am i too selfish? i genuinely don’t want to get into a relationship right now, but i literally have like 3 people knocking at my door, and while the self-esteem boost is great, it just makes me realize how unwilling i am to date. id be fine fucking and kissing and flirting, but i just am so scared of the label, because once that boyfriend label is on, if i start to wander, which i have the tendency to do, i’ll be labelled a cheater and thats the last label i want. so its like.... right now id rather just be single and have no responsibilities to people. i dont want to be stuck to someone who i mistook feelings for. eliott was always the one who asked me out, all those times we broke up and got back together. it was always her. and god, i was so in love with her, but even when SHE asked i just,, ,, , i didnt want to. i dont know whats wrong with me. i dont want to be this way forever. i think as a 19 year old, its probably fine that i wanna stay single and fuck around, but when im 30? 40? thats not a good look. that type of person isnt someone you’d wanna take home to your parents and that honest to god makes me so fucking sad. maybe i just dont wanna deal with the inevitable “i didn’t like you as much as i thought i did a few months ago” thing that always seems to happen to me when i date someone... idk. it just doesn’t make me feel good. the only people i havent felt that way with was with milo and apollo. either of them coulda proposed to me and i woulda said “fuck ya babey”. and i think the next time i feel like that towards someone,,, its gonna be a really long relationship. i dont know. im just scared. im genuinely really scared and i wish i knew exactly why. maddie and jayd are both great but i know if i date either of them, im just gonna end up trying to chew my leash off... and this girl i just met is trying to hop on my dick too and like shes kind of irrelevant but it still makes me anxious to think about. i wish i was healthy. i don’t wanna lead either of them on. id hate it if one day me and maddie just decided to stay friends, but she still had a crush on me or something and i felt absolutely nothing. jesus christ, thats probably how apollo feels. i just want my dick sucked and my heart happy without feeling responsible for anyone’s feelings. id rather be dead. id rather have someone rip me open with their teeth. id rather be gutted and choke on my own vomit and feel the acid burn up my throat. 

[idontwantshitanymore]

TW everything maybe?

i want to rant to myself, i genuinely am tired of this. the notes app is fine but i mean this is my notes app now. im tired, of people, of dealing with things and emotions, of myself, of reality mostly. i always feel out of place, always literally every single time, i hate how its always as if im wearing a mask, waiting for the mask to fall off, then sitting in my room alone at night sad, because why couldn’t anyone see me? since this is a long rant and im a spoken essay addict, as im speaking this to myself, i will section this into ranting sections:

1) i hate myself. i hate everything about me, and not in a quirky outcast way, and not in the way that i Dont Acknowledge that im “loved” or whatever no, i hate myself because i know that whenever im “loved” it’s because im pretending to be what people like but in reality im disgusting and bored. i hate the way i talk and what i talk about how awkward i am. i hate that i stand in no where and fit in no place and i am as temporary as a stupid dress for some occasions. i hate how i look like and like aside from body like my smile sucks it’s wrapped to the side, my eyes are too small and my voice is too squeaky and breaks and gets too high sometimes. i hate that i only notice it when im back home. i hate where i live and how lazy and frustrating i am.. too bossy too hazy too weird.. im too much. too much.

2) i hate reality. i feel like im always less. and that feels shit because i also feel ungrateful because im not technically broke poor or unbearably ugly or in a completely broken family.. but they are also shit. i cant buy a single tshirt without contemplating how that will affect my budget. i though have to sit and watch people buy shit like money is water. i cant stand confidently or take a normal picture and will consider sewerslide if someone took my picture because i cant bare how ugly i am but to normal standards im “fine”. my parents are still together and they are alright to each other but i havent had a conversation with my dad like a full conversation apart from hello in approximately idk 5 years?? more? and we live in a 3 bedroom apartment together i see him everyday. i just dont actually see him do i? and my mom just shouts all day everyday until no end and then showers me with “care” then calls me selfish when i dont give it back or am not as active and happy as she is.. mental illness doesn’t exist here and i forget about that but reality is reality. not just mental health but actually everything doesnt exist here, dreams are wack and if i ever came out id be most definitely hunted. i cant travel anywhere because visas are actually a thing and i never can get any plus im broke. so my reality is.. forever alone in the closet wearing things i dont want to wear and saying things i dont mean and never having a family and never getting out of here.. i really should just d1e

3) i hate food. i hate myself before i hate food but i also hate food. i hate that im not skinny enough im not boney enough.. but im not sick enough i never was never will probably cuz im a coward. all my mental shit is in my brain, and sometimes i lay down just to imagine myself taking my insides out just to feel empty.. because im weak and i cant st@rve properly. i also dont taste food.. its been 3 and a half.. and food tastes like plastic to me.. i havent enjoyed a single meal in 3 and half years or even more honestly.. i cant fucking eat properly i just binge on plastic tasting things i want to rip myself apart.

4) i partially hate people around me. they arent bad people they are just good until im not what they want. until i dont play the role. until its no fun. good until im too mentally ill but no im faking that shit why such a bad mood, good until im too angry why am i such a rude person.. good until im not good enough. i also hate how jealous i get if they lose weight or if they are suffering because no i want to be the one that suffers the most.. i most probably deserve to just for thinking that. i like them i do and i care for them but it gets too much when im faced with my own ugliness that comes with dealing with people.

5) i loved my best friend. until she said that it never fucking mattered because it wasnt romance. i broke her heart but i too fucking hurt.. she liked me and thats alright and flattering but its not my fault i didnt feel the same. not my fault i dont want romance i can barely love anything. i dont want a girlfriend or the commitment or anything. it hurt because then was all her care and love just because she thought i liked her too.. just cause she thought she’d earn a lover? is this how it works? unconditional love my ass there was a condition they just trying to hide that cuz its too ugly to see the truth. i tried helping and being there and talking and communicating just because i never wanted to hurt her but no im the bad guy.. im the ugly ugly person and the toxic manipulator.. who also has their most known info about them that they never fall for friends and never take hints.. but ig no She Had To Be The Exception.. whatever im actually disappointed beyond belief.. i thought i can trust someone but ha ha fool is me.. no more trusting anyone everyone wants the mask on Everyone.

6) i hate my anger issues. it would be fine almost fine until something as minor as my brother touching my teddy bears and my anger rises like a fucking monster. why am i so angry all the time.. angry enough to st@b myself through the heart.. and it starts.. those stupid trials to stop being so angry that i get angrier and someone points it out and i get even more angrier and boom time to add barcodes to myself because i cant deal with the fucking anger.. and ok it would be fine at least if the anger was justified but no im just a bitch to everyone and moody as fuck and never can do anything because my brain doesnt work like ever.

in conclusion.. i as a whole am a creature that should’ve been de@d at least 3 years ago but didnt.. and now im just dealing with the fact that i wasnt. what a fucking nuisance. my whole existence is and the fact that im complaining in Parts about things mostly my own fault is insane. so ungrateful so unoriginal i must fucking end it i genuinely have to cuz this is too much. too fucking much and the future wont get me anywhere i should save my family the money.

[thatmademadej]

I was tagged by @poiregourmande (thanks babe)

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last

1. drink - orange juice 

2. phone call - my mother on friday afternoon

3. text message - my friend in Dundee about B99

4. song you listened to - The Wire, HAIM

5. time you cried - on Sunday, watching Jane the Virgin

ever

6. dated someone twice? - nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it - oh god yes

8. been cheated on - no

9. lost someone special - yeah

10. been depressed - yah

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - maybe I have who’s asking

fave colours

12. red

13. blue

14.  green

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yeah uni is wild whats new

16. fallen out of love - havent been in it to fall out

17. laughed until you cried - yeah life is good lads

18. found out someone was talking about you - haha YEAH

19. met someone who changed you - not one specific person

20. found out who your friends are - i have, but in the good way

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - yeah i have

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - most of them idk

23. do you have any pets - yeah

24. do you want to change your name - i guess not, but also like do you know of any famous caitlins? whats the deal with that?

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i threw a flat party and we got drunk

26. what time did you wake up today - 8.00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - asleeeeep

28. what is something you can’t wait for - summer im so over being cold

30. what are you listening to right now - a delict lecture lol

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - uhhHHhhHHHhhHH no?

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - people interrupting me

33. most visited website - tumblr

34. hair colour - blonde

35. long or short hair - mm midlength?

36. do you have a crush on someone - nah im over being attracted to the human form 

37. what do you like about yourself - my sense of perspective

38. want any piercings? - im allergic and also a coward

39. blood type - no idea

40. nicknames - flav

41. relationship status - terminally single

42. zodiac - scorpio

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - b99, doctor who, Jane the Virgin, 

45. tattoos - im afraid of commitment and also needles

46. right or left handed - righty

47. ever had surgery - nah

48. piercings - ears

49. sport - horses, snowboarding, rugby

50. vacation - we’ll probably visit my granny in london at some point this year

51. trainers - ???????

more general

52. eating - pasta bake

53. drinking - cofffeeeeeee

54. i’m about to watch - the new B99 episode!!

55. waiting for - the SUN

56. want - to pass my classes this semes

57. get married - what about it?

58. career - who fucking knows lol not me

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - uhhhh hugs i think

60. lips or eyes - eyes? im not fussed?

61. shorter or taller - taller

62. older or younger - older

63. nice arms or stomach - arms

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - yeah

67. drank hard liquor - heck yeah

68. lost glasses - didnt have em to lose

69. turned someone down - oh boy

70. sex on first date - nah 

71. broken someones heart - not as far as I know

72. had your heart broken - nah i am invulnerable

73. been arrested - nope

74. cried when someone died - yeah

75. fallen for a friend - not FALLEN fallen but ive had crushes

do you believe in

76. yourself - depends 

77. miracles - not really

78. love at first sight - nahhhhh

79. santa claus - no

80. kiss on a first date - sure

81. angels - nope

other

82. best friend’s name - Nicola

83. eye colour - green

84. fave movie - Grand Budapest Hotel

85. fave actor - Michael B Jordan (the B stands for Bone)

I’m gonna tag @boogaraniac, @demonsandthebois @thepossessionofshanemadej @unsolveit idk more people sorry

[yanderedev-against-yanderedev]

i havent watched the newest video, but i know about the updates made. this is my thoughts (feat me checking the wikia i got banned from once)

SPITEFUL (EVIL) PERSONA: I don’t really like it, but its better than it used to be- Atleast they disapprove of some murders. Could be better though- Like it could act as a persona that would function similarly to my ideas for Vengeful persona, but they wouldn’t really focus on getting Ayano arrested, and if they hear your dnagerous, they might ask you to go digging into the past of someone they dont like, and finding info about them? Maybe, depending on how close the person was to them, theyd act differently, like if its someone they like, theyd do their best to expose you, if its someone thats popular, theyd blackmail you (getting you to do things in exchange for the spiteful people not telling), if its someone their neutral on, it would be similar to popular, but less extreme, if its someone they dislike, theyd act like a Coward.

VENGEFUL PERSONA: I can’t find a wikia page for this, but apparently something like this was added? It doesn’t work for now. My best guess is that this will be like a fake coward- If you kill someone in front of them, they’ll say they won’t tell anyone, but after that, will try and gather information about you to avenge the person, and get you arrested- Maybe if they see you commit another murder, they’d go and attack you, or after they see you commit another murder, they’d begin to gossip about you to their friends and slowly make the evidence against you they have public. It could appear as Coward at first, but after a day or so of them seeing you commit murder, it would be revealed that their persona is Vengeful.

REPUTATION GAME OVER CUTSCENE: hell yeah. i am READY for this..... game over cutscenes seem really cool!!

OSANA NOT BEING HERE: listen..... i would normally whine about this, but I’m glad that Yandev fixed the evil persona slightly, and began improving on what he already has. Though, it would be nice to have a set Osana release date, and once he has all the assets he needs for Osana, he’d make all the Game Over cutscenes and add the last few needed touch-ups.

i’m gonna go watch the video now.

[grinchish]

I have a lot of feelings and I’m going to ramble about them please don’t reblog this and probably maybe don’t read it either

i havent been in this much of a depression in a long time and i just hate feeling this way a lot and its like. i’m very down and then something will happen where im cool for a while but down is my default? And I’m always about 10 seconds from crying unless I’m numb.

Specifically, my uncle died and a girl at my school died and my dog died. My dog died less than a month ago, my uncle and the girl this past week. I’m having trouble dealing with it. Processing it, mourning in a way that feels right  - which nothing really does. I cry at the weirdest times about the weirdest things and I feel guilty for not crying the right way or mourning enough. I just don’t know how to deal with death and the idea that I could die at any moment. It used to be a comforting thought, but now I’m afraid because I know what it would do to my parents. 

Also, I’m into a boy and I fucking hate it. I hate having real real crushes because it’s so vulnerable and I feel like I’m basing my happiness on the feelings of somebody else. When he pays attention to me or says something nice or we have a good time together, I’m over the moon. When he doesn’t use an emoji when I expect it or hesitates before saying certain things, I’m terrified he thing Im a freak and a stalker and that he wishes I would just leave him alone. Also another girl that I know peripherally is interested in him now, and my brain just assumes that she is the better choice, that she is more beautiful and fun to be around and he will automatically prefer her so I should just give up now. I feel like a fucking crazy person basically all the time and I want to go back to being a closed off bitch.

The last thing that’s freaking me out is that I acted again for the first time today in, like, years. Like real acting. And it felt amazing. I forgot how much I love acting and how good it feels and how good I am at it. I’m fucking good at it. But I didn’t and still dont trust myself to be talented enough or skilled enough or committed enough (or beautiful enough) to do anything related to that as a living. That’s why I chose to do journalism in the first place, because its something that I enjoy that I’m passionate about that I’m good at and is dependent primarily on my brain. But I don’t love it like I love theater and that fucking scares me because what if I did it all wrong. I almost wish that I had chosen a different path when I first got to college, that I took theater classes and communication classes instead of what I’m doing. I worry that I did it wrong. I worry that I ruined my future for myself by choosing the wrong thing and that its too late. I’m 20 which is young but people my age already know what theyre doing or have started doing it and I fucked up. I set myself on a path that isn’t something that I love and what if I get stuck doing it? The universe or god or whatever seems to keep pushing me toward campaigning but what if I hate that life and I look at myself in the mirror when I’m 35 and already entirely grey and lined from stress and realize that I’ve thrown away the best years of my life doing something that I don’t love and I’m trapped. What if I’m unhappy for the whole rest of my life because I was a coward when I was 18 and I’m still a coward at 20 and I’ll still be a coward at 35 and 50 and 75 and I’ll never actually do the things that I love because I’m afraid I’ll fail. Instead I’ll just stick with something that I’m good at and don’t hate and live this mediocre life and always know that I could have done something else. What if I’m always hollow and regret everything. I don’t want to have regrets. I don’t want to die of a stroke at 60 and have never fulfilled anything.

Anyway this has been my diary I guess. 

[realrick3y]

Technology has become so intrusive the thought of a crime alone could potentially cause someone to be convicted of a conspiracy to commit a crime.

In his studio apartment, East London, mid-day. Earlier that morning the "publisher" called him in regards to an overwhelming request from readers, but a dangerous request this one would be.

The phone rings.

Old wiser: "I suppose you need something?"

Publisher: "Well do you not suppose the proper greeting "Hello" would not have done any good for someone who has brought you much great success? "

Old wiser: "Tradition is for conformist, now what do you want?"

Publisher: "Well, despite your being rough around the edges attitude. You are the best at what you do Sir. And, it is your attitude that fits perfect for this request."

Old Wiser:"So my answering was, indeed, the correct response. But, unless I am toasted and served with jam along side a formidable breakfast I dont need any buttering up. Now state your business or I will, and you will not like my version."

Publisher: "You may want to take a seat for this"

Old wiser: "I drink my coffee black I can handle whatever you have to say standing on one leg."

The conversation continued for a brief moment, but, all of a sudden it came to a screeching halt. The old wiser throws his phone at the wall.

The old wiser is silent for a while, impossible to read, his face as stoic as those of easter island. He then errupts!

Old Wiser - monologue:

"How the hell am I supposed to write a mystery novel..."

"Write a mystery novel." Said mockingly in a less than accurate impersantion.

"Who the hell does he think he is?! The blasted technology the fools let run rampant has kept even the slightest thought of a rebellious child from snatching a soda from the local mart!" Angerly spoken, but with passion while pacing back and forth.

"I mean where the hell do I even begin?! Why am i saying "hell" so much? Ah, who the hell cares. The real mystery is why all of this technology shit is even neccessary! These contemplations alone could be a crime and I havent even began to brainstorm. If anyone finds about this conversation I could be done for I could...."

Action: A knock on the door interrupts him mid-speech.

Old Wiser -in a low, said to self tone "Fucking christ, I think they know. It's already too late for me. Should I answer or make a run for it. But, what if its no one?"

Action: The knock gets a little harder

Old wiser - staring at the door "Maybe they will say who it is like "hello its me fucking charley, just bringing you tea. I heard you ran out" but, charley is an ass and has terrible taste in tea. How would he know I am out of tea?! He knows I drink coffee, fuck!"

Action: The knocking persists, it is now a pounding. Sounding as if a swat team is outside the door.

Old wiser - runs at the door while yelling, in a manly, fearful, yet courageous manner "I am not afraid of you, aaaahhhh!"

He opens the door as fast as he can only to see a black cat.

Old wiser - "A cat? What kind of sick shit is this! Show yourself you coward!!" He walks further out of the apartment into the hallway searching for a potential culprit. He looks both ways but nothing. The cat meows, the door slams behind him, he turns around as quick as he can - a note. He pulls the note from the door it reads,

Old wiser: "We know everything"

The End.

Technology is so advanced that crime is now nearly impossible to commit. You are a writer who is struggling to write the first mystery novel in generations.