#but i am NOT handwriting a 2+ page assignment be fr

[1smolbean]

i have to do a fuckin. art project for my health final this is so funny

[sufferthesea]

Can you do some headcanons for Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai and if they started getting love notes from a secret admirer?

asdfghjkl you’re like the sweetest person ever!!! I love you!! 🍓 Also this is so me, you have no idea. 

Hey guess who can’t write short stuff? It me. These always turn into headcanon-scenarios. But it’s not going under the cut, sorry! Please forgive misspellings and errors. I started watching Death Note on a whim while editing this. 

KAKASHI, IRUKA AND GAI GETTING LOVE NOTES FROM AN ADMIRER 

KAKASHI

I feel like Kakashi isn’t a stranger to randos fawning over him. Either they’re in awe because “it’s Kakashi, the Copy Ninja!”, or they somehow sneak a peek at him maskless, or they spend 30 seconds around him (let’s face it, he’s that cool) but he doesn’t think about it much because it’s all very shallow to him. He doesn’t like the attention and most people don’t know the “real Kakashi”, so he feels that most people’s idea of him is very false and inaccurate. His mindset is, “They love me for who they’ve made me out to be, but they would hate me for who I actually am.” 

When Kakashi first finds a love note from a secret admirer, he’s not sure what to do about it. He’s gotten confessions of love before but he’s always ignored them because - as stated - they’re seemingly shallow and only confess to loving the person everyone thinks he is. But this letter seems different - it doesn’t gush about his abilities, or how sexy he is because of the air of mystery around him, or simply fangirl because he’s Kakashi of the Sharingan. The letter doesn’t try to explain away his issues (”I know you’re like this because of what happened, but …”) and it doesn’t come across as someone with a savior complex (”I know that if you let me, I can heal you with my love!”) so he’s pretty intrigued. Who is this person? How do they know him, and how have they managed to cut through all the nonsense the village praises him for? 

It kind of scares him if this person seems to know a truer version of Kakashi. He’s afraid of being found out, afraid of people seeing he’s scared and weak and royally messed up. But he’s also drawn to this mysterious writer - how did they manage to see right through him? Does he know them? And he’s really curious depending on where he finds the letter. If it’s delivered to him through the post, he’ll figure it’s just someone who’s seen him on his walk home/has known him for a while and knows where he lives. If it’s given to him via a teammate or by the Hokage during a meeting, he’ll be kind of suspicious. (”How do they know who I’m working with? Is it … one of them?” Then he’ll study all the people he’s working with or that passes in and out of the Hokage building and see if any of their eyes linger a bit too long on him.) If he finds it in his book or his gear, he’ll be bound and determined to find out who it is because how the heck did they get into his stuff without him noticing?! 

After a couple of notes (and failed attempts to figure out who it is), Kakashi has 2 tactics he goes for. The first is to enlist Pakkun and the rest of his ninken into sniffing out the culprit. He’ll give them the letters to pick up the scent and then send them off into the village. The ninken try to pick up clues in the note (if there is any perfume or lotions, or certain smells that’d only be present at a particular shop or area of Konoha - such as ramen or varnish or flowers). (But I imagine the letter writer is too scared about being discovered, so each and every letter smells different and the ninken can’t figure out who it is for the life of them. How many different perfumes and lotions does this person own? Do they write these at restaurants and cafes? “LISTEN KAKASHI, FIVE PEOPLE HAVE HANDLED THIS LETTER BEFORE YOU GOT IT, OKAY? THE ORIGINAL SCENT IS GONE. SO UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO CHASE DOWN THE MAILMAN LIKE SOME KIND OF COMMON DOG, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FIGURE THIS OUT.”) 

His other tactic is to leave his own notes where he’s found the love letters. If they’re in his stuff, he figures that the person will find his notes when they go to hide theirs. He’ll tuck some into his scroll pouches, pockets, in the pages of Icha Icha, wherever he found them. (But he’s kind of nervous about it and doesn’t want the person to miss his letter - so he’ll leave another piece of paper that says something like “Check front left pocket” or “Go to page 138”, asdghjkl Kakashi that defeats the purpose of “finding” the letter on your own!!) 

If it’s delivered through the post, he’ll hand over his own letter to the mailman and say, “Give this to the person who sends me these notes.” (But that’s super vague and Kakashi gets a lot of mail from people - even though he hardly reads it, and it sits in a pile on his table - so the mailman is like “??? Sure??” and there’s a 100% chance it ends up going to someone like Kotetsu or Gai or even Tsunade and everyone is really confused and Kakashi is horrified because they’ve just read his love letter?!?!? It happened like once, and Kakashi is now so paranoid and embarrassed that he either stops this idea altogether or gives the mailman the most serious, deadpan look and says, “GIVE THIS TO THE PERSON WHO SENDS ME THESE *flips love note*, OKAY?”) 

(Or he’ll write a note and give it to Lady Tsunade and just say, “This … goes to whoever’s been leaving me notes …” And she’s like, “Uh-huh … You know, you’d think with all of your capabilities, you’d have found out who it is by now.” And he’s like, “?? Wait, do YOU know?” And she’s like, “Hello? I give you these letters all the time; I sit in this office all day and see who comes in and out of the building from that window. For a guy who can copy every jutsu with his Sharingan, you sure aren’t all that observant. Maybe if you uncovered that half of your face for a while you’d be able to see who it is. But it’s none of my business …”) 

Kakashi is basically just a huge dork and tries to play it cool but inside he’s freaking out because there’s somebody out there in the village who is leaving him love notes and it’s driving him insane because he DOESN’T KNOW WHO IT IS. He knows he tells a lot of people to “let things go”, but this is something he needs to know and he probably won’t stop until he finds his secret admirer. (And when he FINALLY finds them, he’s so flippin’ nervous he’ll mess things up and that once they spend time around him they’ll realize he’s a loser and give up, so he almost wishes he hadn’t figured it out.)

IRUKA

Iruka has had his fair share of women flirting with him. Usually single moms, aunts, or grannies of the kids in his class that show up during Parent-Teacher Conferences/school events (like graduation), but that’s about it. He is pretty oblivious with most of the flirting tactics the women employ, but a few of the more bolder ones make him a little nervous so he tries his best to brush them off. (”Dinner? Oh, aha ha ha … I’m sorry but I’m incredibly busy grading homework tonight … and for the rest of the week. But I’ll see you at the next Parent-Teacher Conference!”) What a dork. (He hates this memory, but half of his coworkers will randomly bring up the time a drunk obaasan was having a good time at one of the village’s summer festivals and followed him around all night, pinching his face, grabbing his butt, and playing with his ponytail. Genma volunteered him to “walk the poor woman home” at the end of the night and Iruka was horrified to find out how strong such a small and old woman was, because he had to basically fight her off when she tried to drag him inside. RIP.) 

When Iruka first gets a love note from a secret admirer, his first thought is, “Oh, please don’t let it be a student.” He’s very likable and personable and more than one student has developed a crush on him. It’s always a little awkward for him but he does his best to discourage them and let them down gently. So when he reads the note and sees that the handwriting and the level of skill the writing took, he gives a huge sigh of relief because oh my gosh, it’s not a student, thank goodness. But now he has a new question - who IS it from? Another teacher? A parent? (Urck, he’s not sure how he feels about dating a student’s mom tbh.) Someone else? His list of suspects narrows depending on where he found it - in his desk drawer, hidden between a stack of ungraded homework assignments, or delivered to his classroom by a teacher’s aide. 

The note makes him quite flustered, ngl. Whether it’s super articulate and poetic, or just a short and blunt note, he’s blushing like mad because someone out there took the time to write it and leave it for him to find. (For a moment he thinks it’s a mistake and it’s meant for another teacher but - nope! His name is on the front, it’s definitely for him. He also wonders if it’s a prank by his co-workers since they know how he feels about women flirting with him but something about this seems genuine.) He hides his note somewhere close - either on his person or in his bag - and thinks about it for the rest of the day until he can do some investigative work. 

Iruka is, like, 10000x more per perceptive now and he pays attention to everything and everyone. He needs to know if his admirer left the note themselves, or if they had someone else drop it off. He’s almost suspicious of anyone who comes by his classroom and even briefly thinks that one of the kids was employed by their parent to hide the note in his desk. He has so many wild conspiracies running through his head, and he seems a bit like a madman. (Like … imagine the Pepe Silvia scene from It’s Always Sunny.) So anyway, he mostly watches intently and keeps track of who comes into his classroom, who has access to his papers, and who seems to be acting strange. (It drives him absolutely bonkers if he finds ANOTHER love note and didn’t even see anyone leave it!! How could he miss it?!) 

People at the Academy notice how weird he’s acting and he finally breaks down and confesses to one or two close friends that he’s been trying to figure out who’s leaving him notes (he may or may not leave out the “love” part). They agree to help him figure it out, but they think this is really funny because of how stressed and flattered he is. Mostly they’re not much help because they end up delivering a few love letters to Iruka hidden between copies of assignments, shrug and say, “Oh I don’t know, I got this from so-and-so in the break room. Must’ve been stuck in there earlier.” They have their own suspicions but don’t say anything because it’s more fun to let him figure it out. 

Finally Iruka is near his breaking point, so he ends up stalking around the Academy, practically harassing everyone there as he watches their every move. He hangs around the break room and copy room, watching with eagle eyes to see anyone shuffling love letters into his mailbox or papers. 90% of the teachers have no idea what’s going on, and the people who do know think it’s hilarious and terrifying. 

Lord help the person Iruka catches hiding the love notes in his papers. He runs over to them, grabs the note, shoves it in their face, laughing hysterically as he says, “I CAUGHT YOU! FINALLY! IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME!” If the person he caught is only the delivery person for the secret admirer, they’d probably quit right then. (”Are you sure you like this guy? He’s so weird. You should’ve seen him when he saw me with your letter! I’m never doing that again!!”) They’d also straight up tell him, “Yeah, I left them for you but I didn’t write them. And I took a vow of silence so I can’t tell you who they’re from.” And after a lot of confusion and begging on Iruka’s part, the delivery person would give up and say, “OKAY. I can’t tell you who it is but if you write a letter, I can get it to them …” (Cue the fastest letter writing in the history of the world and Iruka frantically saying, “Here! Take it! Let me know what they say!”) 

If it IS the secret admirer he’s caught, they’re probably horrified - especially since Iruka wasn’t very subtle and there were other people in the room with them … and now they’re all staring … and now they all know they were writing love notes … to Iruka … It’s so embarrassing omg. But once he’s calmed down, he’s blushing again because this is the person who was writing love notes to him oh my gosh they’re so cute !!! and he gets enough sense in him to talk to them in private and ask about the letters, and about themselves, and he’s still so confused why they like him but he’s happy he found them - and everyone else is happy too because HE FINALLY STOPPED FOLLOWING THEM AROUND AND WATCHING THEIR EVERY MOVE, THEY’RE FINALLY FREE!!! Iruka gets a little overzealous sometimes …

MAITO GAI

First reaction: crying about how youthful it is to receive love notes. Second reaction: a hearty chuckle of success because he realizes no one can resist the Green Beast of Konoha. Third reaction: he shoves the letter into Kakashi’s face and asks, “Did YOU receive such a youthful and lovely letter, filled to the brim with kind words and compliments, signed anonymously - too shy to reveal their true selves?! There is something so wonderful about the unsure confession of love by a secret admirer.” Everyone is in shock that not only does someone like Gai, but they’re actually writing him love notes. 

Gai is probably the type to make an assumption about who wrote the letter, find himself around them, give a “knowing” laugh when they say/do something contradictory to liking him, wink, give a thumbs up and say, “Don’t worry about it … We both know the truth. There’s no need to be shy!” And they ?? have no idea ?? what he’s talking about ?? (Tenten looks on in secondhand embarrassment, trying to gingerly break the news, “Gai-sensei … I don’t think it was them …” Gai is confused because, no - he’s sure it’s them. Right? It’s obvious. They’re just shy! Gai they’re not shy, they’re wondering why the Green Beast of Konoha is trying to make the moves on them when they have done absolutely nothing to indicate that they’re interested.) 

Rock Lee is just as invested in this as Gai because he thinks it’s so lovely; Neji is wondering who in the world would send a love note to his teacher; Tenten very surprised but also intrigued; they all end up helping Gai find his secret admirer because they’re all curious (and Gai definitely sees this as an opportunity to turn it into a training exercise in information gathering, stealth tactics, and teamwork - as well as trying to one-up Kakashi by proving that he too has hoards of fangirls). (”Gai-sensei, it was ONE note …”) 

Gai’s secret admirer would have to be pretty creative and sneaky to get the notes to him if they didn’t want to get caught, especially now that he’s looking for them. They probably do something ridiculous like tie the note to a bird, set the bird off towards the training fields, train the bird to steal something/pester the genin or Gai until they can’t take it anymore so they’ll grab the bird and find the note (all the while the secret admirer watches from a distance as Gai reads the letter). Or they tack love letters on the trees all along the path Gai takes when he jogs in the morning, so that only he can find them. He is both in awe by their dedication, and really impressed because only he and Rock Lee get up that early to train - so this person knows his schedule pretty well. (Is it really a crush if you haven’t stalked them a little bit?) 

Gai respects boundaries and he understands some people are more reserved about their feelings (he’s been friends with Kakashi since forever), so he won’t try to do anything to embarrass or publicly out his secret admirer. As stated above, he may get a little ahead of himself and start hinting towards someone that he knows it’s them - even if it’s not. But as soon as he understands that’s not the person, he backs off and apologizes, saying, “I’m sorry - I thought you were the person I’d been corresponding with.” (He doesn’t want so many other people to know this person has a crush on him - it’s not his secret to tell, so he tells little lies like that they’re a penpal or something.) 

He isn’t super perturbed if he can’t immediately find this secret admirer. There are some moments when he clenches his fist in frustration because he just wants to meet them - but he also enjoys the surprise of finding a new letter for him on the training field, waiting for him at the counter of a weapons shop, or even slipped under the door of his apartment. (He cried once when he got a poem instead of a letter, and it compared his green jumpsuit to the “comforting forests outside the village”, his hair to “the blackest of starless skies, still aglow with the halo of a new moon” and his smile to “the most radiant beam of sunshine to warm the hearts” of those around him.) He saves all of these and keeps them where he can read them every day. The poems he tacks to his fridge door, and the very first one he received he keeps in his vest pocket. 

Since this secret admirer knows Gai’s schedule pretty well, they’ve been watching him to make sure he doesn’t catch them leaving notes - and they’ve seen him mistakenly think a few other shinobi/civilians were writing the love notes. They can see that he isn’t turned off or weirded out by it all, so they gain some confidence and decide to reveal themselves. They show up to the training grounds at 4am (when Gai shows up to start his morning routine) and Gai is there alone, already training. He notices them right away but doesn’t say anything so he won’t scare them off. When they get close enough, he stops his training and looks at them, giving them a gentle smile. Nervously, they approach and shove a final letter at him. He reads it and then grins at them, “So it’s you. I’ve been waiting for you to show up. Would you like to take a walk?”

Gai totally walks them down the same path he jogs every day and he points at every tree that used to have a love note attached to it, recounts which note it was, and he’ll tell them his favorite part about the note, and when they get to the end of the walk he’ll pull out the very first letter he got so they could see he kept it “close to my heart, where it belongs!” And then, in a final act (with his genin watching from the bushes), Gai pulls out another piece of paper, unfolds it, and proudly starts reading a poem that HE wrote for his secret admirer. Rock Lee cries, Neji shakes his head seemingly in resignation (but he’s secretly happy for his teacher), and Tenten is honestly surprised at how talented Gai is (”Who knew he would write like that? Do you think he ever did a writing competition with Kakashi-sensei?” Don’t give him any ideas, Tenten). Of course, after all of this Gai would ask his secret admirer if they were okay with other people knowing who wrote the letters. If yes, then he’d proudly tell everyone so he could brag about their talent and their kindness. If not, then he’d quietly keep the letters to himself and when people asked about it, he’d just say he hadn’t figured it out yet but he would eventually. (Way too sweet, 10/10 best person ever.)

[nachtgraves]

a++ kuzuhina: maybe the same ship with #4.“I’m flirting with you.”?

Oh my god I am so sorry this took forever and a half BUT I FINALLY FINISHED IT. I experimented with writing a thing told mostly through texting so hopefully it still flows pretty well? It was an experience, I tell you. Also. I apologize for the awful title for this but it was literally the best I could think of.  And I probably should have used time stamps but I’m a dumb and hope extra spacing gives the same effect?

Title: Mis-Texting Could Possibly End in Kissing  // AO3Word Count: ~4200Warnings/Tags: PG. Told through texting with interspersed prose, high school au, hope’s peak still exists, but no despairs, some typos are intentional and let’s pretend the others are too, real minor angst. Hajime is non-italics, Fuyuhiko and the two instances of Chiaki are in italics.

[ughhhhhh][im so bored][she wont stop taking][talking*]

[That’s kind of the point of a presentation]

[nooneasked for ur sass]

Hajimedoesn’t know how it happened, but he and the infamous ‘baby-faced yakuza ofHope’s Peak High’ are texting buddies.

Well.

Maybethat’s not entirely true. He does know how it started, at least.

[heypres][its kuzuryuu][souda gave me ur number][wat do we need for teh fair agian?]

[Sorry, youmight have the wrong number]

[oh][ur not nanmi?][fuck][souda is dead][sorry]

[Noworries. Mistakes happen][But, by Souda do you mean Souda Kazuichi?And did you mean to text Nanami Chiaki?]

[yeah][who r u??]

[Chiaki’s a close friend. Ournumbers happen to be really similar. Hers ends in a 1 instead of a 2]

[ohthanks][srry for the mix up]

[Don’tworry about it. Happens fairly often :p]

Hajimedoesn’t hear back from the stranger for a few days and quickly forgets themix-up even happened. He hadn’t been lying when he said that such thingshappened fairly often, especially since Chiaki was voted as class rep. (She hadbeen so surprised and happy, Hajime thought a new VR game system was announced).Chiaki and him and found it quite amusing and it wasn’t much trouble to fix themistake usually. But one afternoon, he’s cleaning up his room and finds apacket of papers that look important by the large scrawling over the front pagein Chiaki’s loopy handwriting, reading: ‘SCHOOL FEST BUDGET’. He also knowsthat Chiaki wasn’t going to be home for hours, since her school festival wasthis coming weekend and she’s been staying back to organize, plan, and dowhatever it is class representatives do for events like that.

[Hey you left a packet of papers atmine. School fest budget?]

[Chiaki?]

[Goddmannit did u foget to chargeyour phone again?]

Knowingthat if the packet were important, Chiaki would be freaking out (she always putso much pressure on herself, especially since she became class rep), Hajimestares at the packet in his lap. He could run to Chiaki’s high school, butdoubts he would be let in since it was almost sundown and Hope’s Peak High wasone of the more prestigious secondary schools in their district. Hajime himselfgoes to a regular public school a short walk from their neighbourhood.

Staringat his phone, as if it was going to give him an answer, he finds one as hescrolls through his messages. He still has the short conversation from thestranger from Chiaki’s class. It’s worth a shot, at the very least.

[Hey this is Chiaki’s friend HinataHajime. I still had your number from when you mis-texted me and I was wonderingif Chiaki was nearby? She’s not answering her phone]

[yeah][why?]

[I think she forgot something at myhouse. School fest budget?]

[yeah][she thought she lost it][shes asking if u can drop it off at her place][her phone is dead]

[Yeah I cando that][Thanks]

Laterthat night, Hajime is attempting to complete a history essay due the nextmorning when he receives a text. His phone is plugged in by his bed, on theopposite end of where his desk is. He literally jumps at the distraction,hopping into bed and lying back against the pillows propped up against the headboard.

[Thanksfor dropping off the packet.]

[No prob][You need to remember to charge your phone]

[I know. (*_ _) ][How did you have Kuzuryuu’snumber, by the way?]

[The miss-text a few days ago.Figured it was worth a try]

[Thank you. You really saved me.]

Threehours later, it’s inching closer to midnight and Hajime hasn’t returned to hisassignment. Chiaki is not impressed.

[Doyour work.]

[I’m takinga break]

[(￢_￢) You’ve been ‘takinga break’ for three hours. Stop procrastinating and finish your homework.]

[You’re notdoing your homework]

[I finished my homework. I’m makingsure all the plans for the school fair next month are in order.

You’recoming to it, right?]

[Yeah][If I’m not stuck wiht tuorting…][Tutoring*][Can’t you help???]

[You know I’m not that much betterthan you. Sonia helps me.]

[Give me hernumber?][I’m desperate a tthis point]

[That’sa breach of privacy.]

[Chiakiiiiiiiiiii][Please?][I’ll do your Japanese hw next time?]

[No.]

[JapaneseAND math?]

[Tempting.But good night, Hajime.]

[Chiaki][Chiaki][Chiaki come back][Chiakiiiiii][What kind of friend are u?]

It’stimes like this Hajime sometimes wishes he was closer to some of hisclassmates. He’s not a loner, but he’s definitely a drifter of sorts. He has peopleto talk to and sit with at lunch, but rarely does he spend time with hisclassmates outside of school or for non-school related activities. Because ofthat, he’s not close enough to anyone to randomly message them at close tomidnight for homework help.

Justas he’s trying to figure out a solution – since it’s far too late to actually do his work like the goodstudent he only sometimes is, his phone goes off. And this, is the true startof everything.

[cmon i’ll pay u][and by pay i mean not break ur fucking teeth with my fist]

[Wrongperson?][Hopefully, at least]

[fuck][sorry][yeah][i meant to text the person above u in my message list thing]

[Everythingokay?]

[yeahjust some shitty hw]

[You too?][I have this awful history essay due tomorrow]

[historyis whatever][math is killing me]

[Math isn’ttoo bad][At least there’s always just one answer]

[historyand english u just bs tho]

[But it’sso subjective][Everything depends on something else]

[wannatrade then?]

Andthat is how Hajime found himself a homework buddy. Kuzuryuu is good at Englishand history, while Hajime’s strengths lie in math and science, and the both ofthem were pretty good at Japanese. One night of texting back and forth, helping(dipping into the realm of ‘academic dishonesty’ on occasion) with theirrespective assignments. They say goodnight close to dawn, but Kuzuryuu had stayedup long after his homework was complete and waited and helped Hajime until hewas done as well.

Fromthen on, Hajime would find himself texting back and forth with this boy he’snever met. At first, they exclusively went to the other for homework help, buteventually Hajime would send Kuzuryuu a short text about something funny that hadhappened (a cat attacking some dumb kids that were trying to taunt it) andKuzuryuu would send him a rant about something that annoyed him (old womenthinking that he’s younger than he is or a police officer asking if he’s losthis parents) and it snowballs into them casually texting throughout the day,particularly during boring presentations that no one, including the personpresenting, cared about.

[Payattention and stop distracting me]

[potnd kettle][stop looking at ur phone during class]

[Shush][I’m bored too]

[fuckinquit the holier than thou then][i can ignore u][nd u can be bored alone]

[Youwouldn’t do that][Who’d you distract if not me?]

[plentyof pple][ur lucky i deign to talk to u]

[Yeah][I’m sooo grateful]

[ushould be]

[Stilldoubt that you could ignore me]

[fuckintry me]

[Is that achallenge?]

Kuzuryuulasts all of until the end of the school day. Hajime can be quite theannoyance.

[jfc ur gonna break my phone]

[I win :D]

[uwin a fist to the face when i see u]

[Are wegoing to meet up then?][So eager to see me :P]

[Kuzuryuu?]

[I’m sorryif I made it weird]

[nahi had to hide my phone fr a bit][ur the one who sounds too happy bout gettinghis face smashed]

[You’re tooviolent][How do you have firneds if you treaten to hurt htem all the time?]

[nicetypos]

[Hush. Atleast I use proper grammar most of the time]

[yshould i waste my time with shit like that?]

[Forlegibility][I got to go][Got phys ed :/][Save me]

[ihope u have to run laps the entire time]

[You areevil]

Hope’sPeak’s festival comes and goes one weekend. As usual, it is a busy event due tothe school’s prestigious standing. Hajime, as promised, visits Chiaki’s class,doing an interactive murder mystery café of sorts where customers are givenclues with their orders to figure out the murder of a prop set up in the centerof the classroom. He finally meets some of Chiaki’s classmates whom she’stalked about and apparently she’s talked to them about him in return. However,and though he won’t admit it to anyone other than Chiaki if hard pressed, hekeeps his ears open for the name Kuzuryuu and is disappointed to realize thathis texting buddy was nowhere to be seen.

(“Kuzuryuu?We sent him to go advertise with Koizumi and Saionji,” says Sonia. “Do you twoknow each other?”

“Uh,he mis-texted me once,” Hajime replies. He redirects further questions awayfrom him and towards what they used to make the neon pink blood for the fakecrime scene.)

Hajimemay have lingered around for a bit until he couldn’t justify staying and beinga distraction any longer. By the time he leaves to go back home, he’s exchangednumbers with a few of them with vague promises to meet up some time and hangout. Even as he leaves the school, weaving past the steady stream of peoplestill entering the premise, his eyes roam for individuals advertising forChiaki’s class. He returns home to his books and TV without having met aKuzuryuu.

[You guysdid a good job at your school fest]

[uwent?]

[I promisedChiaki]

[u2 datin or somthn?]

[God no][We’ve known each other forever]

[doesntmean u havnt dated]

[Ew][She’s practically my sister]

[heardu got numbers frm some girls in my class]

[Oh yeah][Are Sonia and Mioda always like that?]

[annoying?][obnoxious?][preppy?]

[Haha][Your class seems really cool]

[seems][u dont see them 5 days a week]

[I bet your classmates have thingsto say about you too]

[maybe][but they wouldnt live for long if they say anything]

[Hahahawhat are you, the yakuza?]

[Kuzuryuu?]

[uhavent looked me up?]

[Why wouldI?][And you’ve never told me your first name]

[uwouldnt need my first name][but its fuyuhiko]

[You’re not pulling oneover on me are you?]

[i go to hopespeak idiot][sonia’s a motherfucking princess][nd y woud i joke about that?]

[You’re not going to send people after me for makingfun of you, are you?]

[ur entertainingfor now]

[Oh ha ha][Glad I amuse you]

[Wait][Oh my god][Is this you?][[image]]

[u got somethingto say?]

[No][Just][Not what I was expecting]

[think carefullybout ur words hinata]

[I thought I wasentertaining?]

[toys can getbroken]

[Now that’s uncalled for][I didn’t even say anything about how adorable you look]

[HINATA]

[It’s true though!][You can’t call a hit on me for being truthful]

[just shut up][y did i tell you to look me up][yd u look for pictures?]

[Curiosity][We’ve been talking for a while now and we don’t even know what the other lookslike]

[Kuzuryuu?][Did you know what I looked like?]

[bein cautious isimportant]

[Omg you looked me up][What horrible pictures did you find???]

[[image]]

[That’s from Chiaki’s fb!]

[not that hard]

[I TRIED TO FIND YOU ONFB THOUGH]

[securitysettings]

[Oh][Point]

It’snot too long after that Hajime receives a friend request from one KuzuryuuFuyuhiko. He hits accept almost embarrassingly fast and proceeds to exploreKuzuryuu’s newly unveiled profile with the eagerness of a stalker given an inchand taking a mile. There’s not much to explore, the other boy doesn’t seem touse the website very much, which honestly does not surprise Hajime though hecan’t help but feel a little disappointed.

[The last time you were active onfb was almost a year ago][And it was a profile pic update][That you didn’t even upload??]

[soudand sonia hacked my account][sonia was offended my profile pic was like 2 yrs old][koizumi has a fuckton of pics of ppl][nd i was 2 lazy 2 change it]

[It’s agood picture of you]

 [thanks]

Uponadding Kuzuryuu, Hajime’s flooded by friend requests from Chiaki’s otherclassmates and ends up talking semi-regularly with them. Kuzuryuu and him stilltext each other practically daily, to the point Chiaki comments on it whenHajime is over at hers to help her complete co-op achievements for a game she’syet to 100 per cent.

(“Youand Kuzuryuu seem to really get along.” Chiaki glances pointedly at Hajime’sphone as it buzzes several times, Kuzuryuu’s name flashing on the screen.

Hajimeshrugs noncommittedly, and is oddly relieved that the game finishes loading andthey’re thrust into a horde of mutant creatures.)

Evenhis classmates notice he’s on his phone a lot more often during and betweenclasses.

(“Gota girlfriend, Hinata?”

Frowning,Hajime shakes his head, “No, why?”

“You’realways on your phone texting and smiling down at it.”

Hajime’ssure his face has never been more red and when, moments later, he gets a textfrom Kuzuryuu complaining about the apparent Souda-Sonia-Tanaka love trianglethat should just turn into a threesome, he realizes his face does indeed moveon its own.)

[Oh my godhelp]

[what’dyou do?]

[Gave into peer pressure and wentto a goukon with some classmates -_-][I’m hiding in the bathroom][But I’ll have ot go back out there][:c]

[urnot drinking r u?][ur not 20]

[A yakuzaheir is against underage drinking?]

[udidnt answer]

[No one’sdrinking][We’re at a karaoke place][But htank you for caring c:]

[shutup][u dont usually go out w/ ur classmates]

[Yeah][Some of them have been teasing me about a girlfriend so I mostly just went sothey’d shut up]

[girlfriend?][u said u nd nanami werent dating]

[We’re not][They think you’re my secret girlfriend]

[?]

[Apparently I smiled while textingor something][And I’ve been on my phone more often][And you’re the only person I really text during class so]

[oh]

[Yeah, funny right?][Wonder what they’d think if they knew I was texting buddies with the heir tothe Kuzuryuu clan lmao][Though some ofthem already give me shit for being close to Chiaki just cuz shegoes to Hope’s Peak][They think you guys are snobby elitests just cuz you go to a prestigiousschool and we’re just public school kids][But you guys arent tat different][Just different talents and families][Woops sorry][Didn’t mean to get all ranty][Ugh I gotta go][Can’t hide here forever]

Afterthe goukon, which wasn’t horrible but neither was it all that enjoyable, Hajime’splunged into preparations for his school’s culture festival and upcoming exams. He’s barely had timeto text Kuzuryuu other than short greetings and the occasional tidbit from hisday that the other boy would find amusing. He misses their daily conversationsand when he finally has some down time, the day before the culture festival,he’s holed up in his room and on his phone while he catches up on TV shows onhis laptop.

[Hey longtime no chat][I’ve finally got free time again!]

[yea][school stuff?]

[Yeah][Every teacher decided to have everything due weeks early so we weren’toverwhelend when finals come around][Kill me -_-]

[shouldnt u be spending ur free timew/ ur gf stead of talking to me?]

[What?]

[ugot a gf or whatvr after that goukon][didnt u?]

[No?][Where’d you hear that?]

[therewas a pic on fb][u were tagged][it showed up on my feed]

[I haventbeen on fb recently][Lemme check]

[Oooooh][Yeah no][I wasn’t even aware this was taken][And the comments are baseless][I barely spoke to her][There was no ‘chemistry brewing’]

[shescute tho]

[Yeah Iguess?][Objectively][But not really interested][She doesn’t go to my school][And we met for like five seconds]

[datingimplies getting to kno eachother]

[Yeah but][Idk][Just nothing clicked?][And I wasn’t even looking for anything going to the thing either so][What about you?]

[watabout me?]

[You thinkshe’s cute][She your type?]

[no]

��[Am I notgetting more than that?]

[i’mmore into a dif set of anatomy]

[?????]

[shesnot a he]

[Oh][OH][You’re]

[homo]

[Oh]

[ifthats a problem u should delete my number]

[NO][Not a prob at all][Sorry][Just surpside][Supreied][SURPRISED][Fuck][I’m sorry]

[usaid that alredy]

[Well I am][Could have responded better]

[couldaresponded worse][so][not a prob?]

[Coursenot][That’d be stupid for one][And hypocrtical for antoher]

[hypocritical?]

[I’m bi][Or pan][Idk][Still nto sure about the difference tbh][Nd I have a friend who’s ace]

[nanami?]

[I cannot divulge something that isnot mine to tell]

[she let it slip when we werecleaning up after culture fest][sonia and mioda bugged her bout if u two were dating][hanamura wanted to know bout ur sex life]

[Hanamurascares me][And yes to Chiaki being my ace friend]

[hanamurascares everyone][u basically gave it away with ur notanswr answer]

[Shedoesn’t care][But I still didn’t actually confirm or deny][Because that would be rude][(◡‿◡✿)]

[fuckoff][dont u dare start using those kaomoji things like nanami]

[(。・ω・。)][( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)][*｡:ﾟ+\(^‿^✿)]

[imgonna block u]

[(◕‸◕✿) *pout*]

Theydon’t re-visit the topic of sexuality again and settle back into their frequentback and forth texting. Hajime’s still teased at school but once he finallycaves and lets his classmates know that he is not texting a girl, but a boyfrom Chiaki’s class at Hope’s Peak, all interest in his affairs are lost.

Winteris fast approaching and with that comes the school culture festivals foreveryone other than Hope’s Peak, who have their festival earlier because no onewould go to any other school event if Hope’s Peak is allowing outsiders to touraround. Hajime’s class decides what to do rather quickly since no one’s allthat interested in putting too much effort, but Hajime still ends up being runragged with the rest of his class in the last minute preparations.

[I hateculture fests]

[culturefest?]

[Yeah][My school’s one is coming up][My class is doing a butler/maid cafe][Because we are simple public school students who don’t have the resources forpink blood]

[I was kidding][Your class’ murder cafe was the best thing I’ve ever seen][Thouhg I admit I had high expectations since you guys do go to Hope’s Peak]

[it was nanami’s idea][nd hanamuras a creep but good cook][nd sonias gotta 1up everyone nd dished out money so we could go way overbudget]

[Haha][But it was great][I had a lot of fun]

[Btw][Your birthday’s coming up right?]

[no][y?]

[Is yourbirthday not during the winter?]

[itsin aug]

[But yourname is FUYUhiko]

[ndmy sis is natsumi but her birthdays in march]

[But][That doesn’t make sense]

[blameour parents]

Hajime’sculture festival comes and goes. It goes fairly well in his opinion, even ifhis butler uniform ended up shrinking in the wash and it was too late to fix. He’spretty sure his pants were borderline indecent with how tight they were and thefact that he had felt far too many eyes on his ass and crotch region during theday was not comforting in the least. No real disturbances occurred though, other than when Chiaki came by and was recognizedby video game enthusiasts and Hope’s Peak admirers.

[thoughtu were doing a butler cafe not a host club]

[?????]

[[image]]

[Where didyou get that???]

[ihave my sources][could u not find pants that werent 3 szies too small?]

[It shrankin the wash okay][But oh god][Did I look that bad all day???][Kill me]

[udidn’t look bad][how many ppl asked u out this time?]

[None??][Though now I know why girls kept giggling when I turned my back][I don’t know if I can show my face at school again]

[theywere prob giggling cuz u have a nice ass]

[Ha ha]

[urnot ugly idiot][i bet tons of girls are crushing on u at school][nd guys][im surprised ur single]

[Shut up][If it’s a surprise anyone is single it’s you][You’re funny, snarky, smart, and really attractive][And you pretend like you’re relaly grumpy and antisocial][But when Chiaki talks about school and you come up you’re always taking part][And the fact that you’re secretly really toned][Like seeing those beach pictures on Koizumi’s fb][Oh my god][And your eyes][If they look that gorg in candid photos I don’t want to imagine in rl][And I’m just this normal whatever][Mediocre in every way]

[Uh][Pretend I never said all that?]

[didu fb stalk me on other ppl’s fb?][nd ask nanmi to spy on me for u?]

[No]

[Maybe][No to the spying][Maybe I would ask about you though?][I’m sorry]

[ur not mediocre][wanna talk about pretty eyes?][and secretly toned bodies?][if u wore clothes that didnt swallow u][ud be batting away pple who wanna date/fuck u][nd ur eyes are the ones that are gorg and unique][u have any idea how many times ive thought of wanting to see em in person?][nad how nanami talks about u all the time][i knew of u before the whole mistexting crap][but as nanmi’s annoying notboyfriend][and now i get hwy she praises u so much][anyone would be lucky to go out with you][ur stupidly nice and considerate][but also a sarcastic little shit u cant hate]

[You don’t need to say nice thingsto me just cuz I made a fool of myself just now]

[imflirting wth u dumbass]

[Oh]

Hajime is typing…

Hajime is typing…

[uever gonna finish ur reply]

[I’mpanicking][Give me a break][I don’t know how to respond]

[fine][go on a date with me?][ y ( ) n ( )]

[How did Inever realize how dorky you are]

[fuckinjust anser or ill punch ur stupid face]

[Maybe I’drather you kiss it]

 [andi’m a dork?][fucking loser]

[Shut up][You didn’t say no though]

[ustill havent answered me]

[You first]

[fucku i asked first]

[I askedsecond]

[HINATAI S2G I WILL SHANK U]

[I’m sorry][I default to annoying when im embbarsed and dont know waht im doing][I want you to kiss me. I want to kiss you][So yes please]

[yesor no woulda been fine][dork]

“…”

“…”

“…”

“What?”Kuzuryuu finally snaps.

“This is a lot harder in person,”Hinata laughs weakly. And it really is. Especially because Kuzuryuu is even cuter in person and Hajime didn’tthink that could be possible. Also, the skinny jeans and casual button downcombo he’s sporting makes it hard for Hajime to look anywhere at the boy’s bodywithout blushing. He’d been so excited to finally meet up, expecting to fallinto conversation as easily as they do while texting, but one look at Kuzuryuuwaiting by the entrance of the movie theater, scowling at everyone who’d lookat him, had wiped most of the vocabulary in Hajime’s brain.

“Younever shut up when we text,” Kuzuryuu grumbles.

“It’snot my fault you’re even cuter in person and I forgot everything I wanted tosay.” Kuzuryuu scowls but he also turns redder than before. “See! If you canstop being so adorab—”

“Hinata,I swear if you call me c-cute or a—that, again you’ll wish I sent Peko afteryou.”

“Peko?”

Kuzuryuugives him a look that is equal parts fond and exasperated and a littlebewildered. “You could have found so much about me just from a few google searches.”

Hajimejust shrugs and looks down at his feet, “Yeah, but I’d rather get to know youby actually talking to you.” When he looks up, Kuzuryuu’s facing away but notenough to completely hide the fact that his cheeks and ears are tinged a darkpink-red, especially since Hajime’s got a 22cm height advantage. Hajime grins.“C’mon, we’re going to be late for the movie.”

Whenhe reaches forward and grabs Kuzuryuu’s hands, he files away the squawkingnoise the shorter boy emits as he tugs him along towards the movie theater. Inall honesty, Hajime wouldn’t be able to tell anyone about the movie they saw –he believes it was an action flick – since Kuzuryuu decided to pay back the handholding with a game of gay chicken that led to some intense public displayingof affection. They’re lucky the theater was mostly empty and they chose seatstowards the back. Hajime’s mental notes of Kuzuryuu by the end of the movieinclude several points relating to the plushness of Kuzuryuu’s lips, the factthat Kuzuryuu’s palate is quite the sensitive spot, and that Kuzuryuu has totry extremely hard to remain quiet.