#but i also remember being in high school where the entire narrative was that every single person needed to have advanced math skills or they

[cursed-tm]

people who like math and are mad that no one else does think they are the most persecuted people on earth lmao. this isn’t even hate it is just genuinely hilarious to me

[conflictofthemind]

Montauk, The Project Rainbow, and Experiments in Time

It’s fairly common knowledge that Stranger Things is based on Montauk. The unfortunate part is that Montauk has been attributed to another ‘vaguely MK-ULTRA mind control related side project’ and not the big narrative that it is, with details incredibly close to plot points in Stranger Things that resulted in an attempted lawsuit years back. Montauk does not just set the general ‘spooky scientific experiments on kids’ tone for ST - it is the backbone of the whole lore. 

‘The Montauk Project’ Book / Conspiracy explained simply is that the US government unofficially experimented on humans with ‘great psychic ability’ to allow their psychic brain waves to interact with the normal electromagnetic waves of our world. The end goal being manifesting thoughts into reality, and opening up wormholes in time. This would give the military great advantage and potentially control over the outcomes of war. It then turns out the whole narrative of Montauk occurs within a time loop from 1943-1983, when the disappearance of a ship called the USS Eldridge opened up a wormhole which was connected with by a research subject in 1983. The time loop is self-causing - the entire reason the Montauk experiments take place are to further study the events that occurred on this ship, but part of the reason the ship disappears is because of the Montauk Project. Due to all of the other time travel references within the series - trust, we will get into those - this leads me to believe it’s very unlikely there isn’t time travel / a time loop involved. Here I hope to posit the basic information about Montauk/The Philadelphia Project, how the powers work within ST, Will’s clear involvement in all of it, and the time travel element. 

Ahahaha why does that look like a bowl-cut…

Let’s put this out of the way first: the idea that Montauk/Philadelphia is the direct inspiration for the show is not based on flimsy grounds. The original series the Duffers planned to make was going to be an actual retelling of Duncan Cameron’s (think El and Henry - main research subject of Montauk) story. This was later changed to become the story we know today with the characters we know today, although with different names and the title remaining Montauk. Some of the characters had names from Montauk too… like Mr. Clarke being Mr. Nichols. I’ll save that for a later post. The entire design of HNL is based off of the ‘Camp Hero’ / Montauk lab with the iconic banana-shaped radar disk. El’s Void ability comes from the ‘Seeing Eye’ power Duncan has in Montauk, where focusing on a personal item belonging to a person lets him see into their mind. The research subjects’ power is amplified by white noise and a sensory deprivation chamber - again, seen with El. 

The Rainbow Ship and the Electromagnetic Connection:

The Electromagnetic Spectrum is usually mentioned at least a little in every season. Joyce’s magnets falling off, El needing the radio, etc. Lights are another focus, with the kids in the Rainbow Room being tested on how they can manipulate lightbulbs, and the emphasis on lights flickering whenever powerful forces are being used or the Upside Down is interfering with Hawkins. I expect them to really start pushing it in Season 5, and we can already see evidence of this (below: the WSQK Squawk Van). They’re at a radio station, the Middle School kids are learning about light from Scott Clarke most likely, and you can see the abundance of rainbows everywhere. It’s my opinion that rainbows and light are the mechanism in which these gates open, and also when at high enough power, how time can become warped. ‘Project Rainbow’ is another title basically interchangeable with the USS Eldridge and Philadelphia Project. This was because “the mechanism involved was the generation of an incredibly intense magnetic field around the ship, which would cause refraction or bending of light or radar waves around the ship”. However as we remember, this had the unintended effect of teleporting the ship across space-time. In the ST Universe, this results in the Eldridge being teleported to Dimension X temporarily (without a gate being opened).

The eagle shoots out beams of a rainbow which are meant to represent the radio waves being broadcast. 

It’s a commonly asked question as to how Will ‘blinked’ out of that shed without a gate, considering only El was able to open them at that time. The close-up on the lightbulb is the last shot we see before he just vanishes. It’s not just powers interfering with the surrounding electricity; this bending of light is what took him to the UD. But when this happens, it doesn’t result in a gate. I also believe this will end up being the mechanism for the eventual time-travel plot we’ll be seeing. Again in Montauk, there is a ‘time-tunnel’ made between the Eldridge and 1983 Montauk that was caused by the disappearance. My original post investigating this was me hypothesizing that being able to bend light to travel faster than it could result in temporary anomalies that allow one to time travel. 

Anyway, back to the rainbows. Rainbows are one of the most common recurring symbols in Stranger Things. The Rainbow Room exists of course, and there’s a deliberate costuming choice, especially in later seasons with the brighter atmosphere, to have characters wearing rainbow patterned items. Holly’s room is full of rainbows, and there are multiple rainbow props scattered around other locations (Mike’s basement, Erica’s room, etc). Scott Clarke (seriously what is up with him) is introduced in Season 1 doing a lesson on ROYGBIV. The BTS pictures of S5 Hawkins Middle School have him teaching yet another lesson on the visible light spectrum. And space for some reason. This brings us back to the Rainbow Ship.  Now we know the USS Eldridge is a marine ship, not a spaceship. But for the characters who seem to have some connection to it, it is represented as one regardless.

Will drew something representing the USS Eldridge (which it is mentioned was not from a movie i.e. he came up with it using his own memory and mind). The main fixture of Henry’s playground, where a ‘significant’ memory took place also features this representation of the Eldridge. I suspect there might also be a larger reason it took the form of a spaceship, but for now, consider that the ST Universe’s version of aliens are the Demogorgons. And outer space is Dimension X. The ship ‘flew’ to ‘outer space’ (D-X) and encountered ‘aliens’. In Montauk, that is kind of what happens. It’s more metaphorical in Stranger Things. The comic book Henry is obsessed with in TFS is seemingly changed from the real life Captain Midnight who was an airplane pilot, to be an astronaut. I think there is some kind of “alien abduction” theme with both Henry and Will being suddenly transported to another dimension that is alien in itself. Even when the lab scientists enter the UD in the first few seasons, they use hazmat suits that are deliberately similar looking to spacesuits. Stranger Things is a story about UFOs and aliens that also isn’t exactly about UFOs and aliens. 

And then, I’ll mention the weirdest part of this all - Will knows about the Eldridge somehow. And he knew about it before he was ever kidnapped and attached to the hive-mind. 

This is either possible because 1) he was in fact involved in research projects at HNL, and maybe the Project Indigo before the age of 8 like the original “rainbowshipgate” suggests. Or 2), there is an element messing with time in this situation, just like in the original Montauk book series. Montauk is literally named ‘Experiments in Time’. They’ve nabbed Linda Hamilton from Terminator (a movie about time travel) for this final season. They’re referencing a Wrinkle in Time with the Episode 6 title and Holly plot. Then we have everything else involving Henry’s clock theming that hasn’t exactly explained itself yet. Thinking time travel is a far-fetched idea at this point is a bit ridiculous. 

It really depends on how crazy they go with the whole concept. One of the other main characters from Montauk I haven’t mentioned yet is Al Bielek. Al Bielek was the original “whistleblower” who came forward with his story after supposedly recovering his repressed memories of the events. He claims to have been on the crew of the USS Eldridge in a previous life as Edward Cameron, Duncan Cameron’s brother. When he was sent forward in time he ended up staying in 1983 whereas Duncan Cameron was effectively sent back to where he came. Very confusing. But the story is, the man’s a time traveler. 

I do wonder if Al Bielek is loosely the inspiration for Will’s part in the story. Will who has seemingly repressed memories of many points in his life and has been suggested to be a time traveler many times. His name appears on the grandfather clock. He wears Marty McFly’s outfit in the first season. He has knowledge of an event that happened in 1943. He has lines about “seeing into the future” and Mike calls him a time-traveler in the VR Game where the writing staff had access to scripts and a writer from the show. The Upside Down is stuck on “the day of Will’s disappearance” (in the Duffers’ words), though that one probably has a slightly simpler explanation. 

The exact mechanics of how that would work are unclear. Right now, as young as an eight year old Will needs to have the knowledge of the Eldridge - so this isn’t something he will only end up connecting with this season. My theory is that there is a time loop involved, and Will’s actions in the future of Season 5 have him interfere in some way with the 1943 Philadelphia Project / Project Rainbow. The time loop is cyclical and self-causing. Our Will Byers already has a past iteration in yet another timeline where he already went back and tried to interfere with the past (and likely died trying in 1943). Then he is reborn again in 1971, and awakes a very small portion of his past memories of the previous loops. If that doesn’t make sense, I created this handy-but-ugly flowchart to help you out: 

Basically there is no beginning, since the future causes the past and vice versa (a bootstrap paradox). Every Will would then have memories of a past self(selves). The time loop also gets more complicated than this. Did Henry create the mindflayer? It’s presented like that within the show, but let me remind you that shows with heavy mystery elements can and will purposely deceive you. In the First Shadow, Mr. Newby is attacked by the Mindflayer and produces a drawing of the entity - it’s purposely not shown to the audience, but considering the Mindflayer was supposedly just a black mass then why is that? And regardless, in order to have Henry become possessed by it, the Mindflayer was definitely not created by him in 1979. A few have written up theories about this already, I’ll link to my friend's two posts on this element of the time loop.  

I don't have anything else super definitive yet. But I believe wholeheartedly that this is the right direction to search in and I hope we can put more attention on the subject. All of this makes sense, from the military connections they keep pushing in the show, the time travel hints we have been getting, the origin story of Brenner (whose dad died aboard the ship) and the Rainbow Room, everything ties back to the Eldridge events being incredibly incredibly important going forward.

Here's a link where you can read through Montauk Experiments in Time for free.

[mystreet-liveblog]

Its not even the voices Aphmau needed to do in early seasons. I just have troubles where I take shows really seriously, so the no warning / no consent kissing or the people trying to find out everything about Aphmau's love life is just frustrating for me.

Autistic people taking things too seriously, what else is new?

I hear that, I too have the “tism”

But on the rewatch I kind of read it differently. It makes sense that Aph’s friends would be concerned about her love life since she hasn’t been interested in anyone since high school, her mom is notorious for hating boys, and half her male friends have crushes on her and she doesn’t reciprocate any of them. It’s an interesting situation and I know I’d be concerned, especially if I was Katelyn or KC

Katelyn sees Aph as a sister and knows that she’s had bad experiences with boys in the past (Gene and Ein, though I haven’t gotten to Ein in the rewatch yet so I may be misremembering some details) so of course she’d be suspicious of Laurance and the others across the street, Aaron who’s super suspicious and used to be a bully, and Zane who is literally Zane hahah

Meanwhile, KC is obsessed with shipping and she stands as an outlier who actively analyzes relationships and pairs them together in her mind as possible relationships, with her favorites being expressed more openly and verbally like a hyperfixation. It’s problematic but also not unheard of, and I can relate to analyzing your friends and deducing their compatibility (though not so much pressuring them into pursuing that compatibility :/). In the end she just wants to see all her friends happy, and she projects her own love of romantic love onto them

(KC actually reminds me a bit of Nepeta from Homestuck but that’s a conversation for a different day)

I do think the lack of consent coming from Laurance and his roommates is very weird and disturbing, but the conscious narrative seems aware that it’s problematic while the subconscious narrative plays it off as a joke. It’s not really that funny, but I guess that’s just part of the anime tropiness of the season.

The entire show, or at least the first seasons of MyStreet and PDH, was made to feel anime tropey and unfortunately that kind of nonconsensual humor is very anime. It’s a little nuanced tho that the rest of the show explores the “after they get together” situations rarely seen in romance anime, though, as well as abandoning the nonconsensual humor in favor of villainizing it and using it to characterize antagonists (sorry Laurance fans your fav is problematic <3)

I actually kind of realized through my rewatch that Laurance was the main instigator of these inappropriate actions and it’s really his own problem to work through. The rest follow him with the frat boy mindset and only come to their senses when actually thinking on their own lol

Like, I remember as a kid there being so many jokes about Travis touching peoples butts, but as far as I remember from my rewatch they were all accidents! That’s kind of funny actually! But the normalization of predatory behavior is very weird in S1 and I’m glad it’s gone in S2

In PDH S1, it’s only slightly justified by the students all being literal children who are working through their hormones and poor coping mechanisms. Both Laurance and Garroth kiss Aphmau without her consent and then swear her to secrecy, which is toxic as hell and its protrayed as such. Gene even threatens to kiss her in front of Aaron which is a whole other thing we don’t need to discuss at length cause I’m sure you get the point by now

But PDH-Aaron notably asks permission every time he does anything romantic with Aph and it’s sweet. In S1 of MyStreet, he does kiss her after the play without verbal consent, but it’s implied she did at least nonverbally consent in later episodes when discussing what happened. Regardless, that sort of content in S1 isn’t touched upon as the story goes on which makes it a lot better to me, and it shows the growth of the author alongside her characters

WOAH— SORRY FOR THE LONG RESPONSE!!!! I just found this topic interesting!!!! Hope you have fun reading this MOUNTAIN wow—

[coraniaid]

Season 5 isn't my favorite season (it's honestly not even my second favorite season, and it might not even be my third). Glory isn't the best Big Bad the show would come up with (I think Clare Kramer's performance is ... fine, but she has basically nobody to play off of in the way the arc villains of the earlier seasons did, which really makes her job a lot more difficult than it had to be).

The season also devotes a lot of screentime and narrative focus to several characters I don't particularly care for, there are a couple of episodes this season that are definitely in the running for some of the show's weakest ever offerings, and while The Gift is very impactful as a season finale as a putative finale episode of the whole series it's kind of conceptually a disaster. ("What if our young adult protagonist told everyone how sad she was and how hard it was to be alive and then killed herself?")

And -- if I'm being totally honest -- it still irks me quite a lot, even a full season after The Harsh Light Of Day, that the scripts keep having Buffy talk about Harmony "becoming" a vampire as if that were some particularly silly lifestyle choice she'd made (and continuing to show no sign at all of being sad that the human Harmony died while trying to help Buffy save the whole town from the Mayor). This is both not something Buffy should canonically believe -- she's descibed in detail before how she believes "becoming" a vampire works, and nothing has happened since that should have changed her mind about that, other than the writers having some worse ideas -- and something which would, were it true, fatally undermine the entire premise of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

That being said, I do think that objectively Season 5 might be the best season of the show. Not necessarily as a collection of episodes (though it does have some very strong episodes), but as a deliberately planned story told over the course of twenty-two episodes. It just feels very structured and carefully arranged in a way that none of the seasons that came before were and none of the seasons that come after will be. Every episode has a very clear purpose and the writers obviously knew from the start where the story was going (which I don't think was true for any of the previous full-length seasons).

So Real Me foreshadows The Gift (with Harmony and her self-described "minions" capturing Dawn and so auditioning for the part of Glory and her minions doing the same), and The Replacement (re)introduces the idea of a split between Buffy's human and Slayer sides, and Family and Fool For Love and Blood Ties and Intervention all help to set up the choice Buffy will make at the end of the season, and Triangle and I Was Made To Love You introduce the weapons that will be used to defeat Glory, and there is a general sense throughout, which the high school seasons especially don't always manage, that the characters remember what happened from one week to the next and you cannot afford to miss a single episode if you want to understand what's going on.

The Knights of Byzantium are still utterly shit though.

(If you want a powerful ancient faction who know about Glory and have reach all over the world and who employ teams of people who know how to fight and who might plausibly have found out about Dawn and who don't really have anything else to do in the plot after Checkpoint and who consider themselves entitled to make pragmatic decisions about other people's lives -- especially young girls' lives -- in the name of saving the world from demons ... I mean, guys, come on, the Watcher's Council were literally right there.)

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

tw this is a trauma post but it's also a narrative I'm proud of. Suicide and self harm (mental and physical) will be mentioned.

To help those who aren't me understand, I think in part in references since it is both easier and more fun than creating original thoughts.

(1): reference to the videogame Omori

(2): reference to the movie The Dark Knight (take a guess as to why I like and relate to the joker)

(3): reference to a song I like (in order, HOPE by NF, Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park, Love the Subhuman Self by AISHA, Arc System Works, and Jamison Boaz)

(4): a random saying I heard and enjoyed

“No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man behind blue eyes. No one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated to telling only lies”

“Behind blue eyes” by The Who

Welcome to the nonsensical abyss of my mind, you've been here as long as you can remember (1). By reading this you're getting to see my thoughts without translation. Nothing here makes sense to anyone except me, I make references others rarely understand. But allow me to tell the story of how what you see now came to be. You wanna know how I got these scars (2)? “I spent years of my life holdin’ on to things I never should've kept, full of hatred, years of my life wishin I was someone different looking for some validation.” (3)

Middle school was a special sort of subtle hell for me, it stole things without me noticing. First it was my feeling of impervious safety when a kid laughed at a genuine heartfelt remark I made. Then it was my trust that friends would never betray me and always respect me when they wouldn't stop making jokes at my expense. Slowly, steadily I descended into paranoia and loneliness, and thus my contentedness with life was stolen. The ax forgets yet the tree never does(4).

A secret hidden issue that I only found out this year was that the ADHD meds I needed to take to function may have been causing the paranoia to start with. I still don't know how to feel about that, that all my issues and trauma might stem from something that's not even real.

Once I started high school it became more and more apparent that nobody liked me. At least not for very long. I never learned to function in middle school so I was still struggling with what everyone else already knew and mastered. Giving a compliment and sexual harassment, would you like to know the difference? I would've but nobody told me until after I'd been punished.

Intent vs impact, I never intended to hurt anyone yet my impact was that I did more often than not. So I cut off the things that hurt people, removed them from my mind. Who needs humor? Not me if I can't use it right. Who needs to give compliments? Not me if I can't say it right. Who needs to hug people to show affection because it's your primary love language and you want to show everyone how much you like and appreciate them? …… not me…. if I must…. to not hurt them…

You see where my inner pain starts now? Where the scars in my mind begin? There were two things I could never bear to cut and slice away, my name and my kindness. Most trans people change their names to align more with their gender but I decided no. I am done changing things for other people to accept me more, they never do. My name is Daniel and it's the sum of my entire being. If I am non-binary, or a woman, or some eldritch horror that everyone fears and that has lost every shred of humanity because of the things I've endured, then my name represents all of that. It's not my issue if people make a poor assumption about my name because of what they think it should be.

Maybe I don't even want to be human anymore if all that humans have shown me is hate. All throughout high school it was nothing but hate or dislike shown to me, barely any kindness outside of my family. So I isolated myself from everyone, to avoid those who hated and to not burden my family with my issues. I'd handle it by myself like I always had in the past and I'd be ok.

I was not ok.

I was rageful. I was tearing myself apart more and more and more internally, only my desire to never hurt anyone kept me from tearing the school down brick by brick with all the students inside it. But maybe… could it be I was the exception and the problem? Could it be I'm the one who deserves to hurt for the pain I've caused? Should I hurt myself? And so I tried once, a good solid punch to the forehead that didn't make me feel any better and never tried again.

The pain I deserved wasn't physical, it was mental and so I gave myself infinite mental pain. What an idiot I was for giving that compliment when clearly in retrospect it was sexual harassment, what a dumbass I was for saying that joke, looking back I deserve to lose my entire friend group over it. Maybe I'd be better off if I didn't exist anymore if I caused more harm than good and could never seem to learn or improve. The thoughts I had then… and sometimes still now… it's so hard to remember that looking into the past makes everything obvious in the worst ways possible…

But there was a light eventually, someone who told me all that was wrong. Someone I met online and will never see in person, someone I messed up horribly with and yet she still forgave me. Thank you infinitely June. You showed me that monsters can be good.

So I steeled my resolve and used my rage at myself to look inward and outward and found that I was being mistreated and misunderstood. I shouldn't kill myself to not exist or hurt people because I would improve and I could make others improve. So I stood at the very last meeting in front of the whole school and spoke the truth of my mind with as much respect and rage as I could muster. So much pain and anger and hate and sadness I'd endured and I showed all of it to the entire high school of 300 people.

I've never felt more satisfied in my life than when the headmaster of the school himself asked if there was anything he could do for me and I said no. I've never felt more proud when I met with him two days later and asked for a neurodivergent support group to be created for the middle and high school, and he said yes. Half a year later my brother told me that the headmaster stuck to his word and did more than I asked. I never felt more vindicated than when I was told by my only friend that he'd heard people making school shooter jokes after I stood up and told my story.

And so I started to heal. My humor, I did need that. How could I be happy if I could never make myself laugh? My desire to give joy and be kind, I needed that. How could I not fulfill the purpose in life I'd made for myself? My ability to hug and love and be happy with others, I needed that. Desperately. “I want to heal, I want to feel what I thought was never real, like there was somewhere I belong.”(3) I just needed to find better people who understood. I reconnected with my family and told my pain and tried in every possible way to show how sorry and sad I was for cutting them off. I couldn't stitch the old bits back onto me but maybe I could grow something new. Something I wanted and I loved, for me.

I can never fully heal, that's why you see the holes in my form, but I've incorporated them now, so that they help me as much as they hurt. I carry on and love my subhuman self, accept me for me and go back to being with humans (3). I give them the kindnesses I can but only after I do that for myself. This is the kindness and respect I give to me, the biggest change I made, because I deserve it as much as everyone else. Now close your eyes and you'll leave this dream (1).

“But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be.”

Behind Blue Eyes by the Who

[fantasylandbitch]

🙌15 Questions For Friends 🙌

Tagged by my people: @michiganstray , @blackwolfstabs , and @osnapitzmel1

⬆️Gif and Photo made by FantasyLandBitch ⬆️

Are you named after someone?

No, my mom had the name Elizabeth picked out I think before or after I was born. However, if you are referring to my tumblr name then I made the name"FantasyLandBitch" up way after high school because I wasn't sure what to really call myself and for the life of me I don't remember the original name of my tumblr.

When was the last time you cried?

I cried last night while my sister and her wife were driving me and my little brother back to our parents house and I had cried while in the house.

Do you have kids?

Haha in this economy? No.

What sports do you play/have played?

Well growing up I didn't participate in team sports like wanting to go pro kind of sports because I had a lot of anxiety, was super shy, and insecure. However, I did like participating in flag football, volleyball, badminton, baseball, and sometimes floor hockey.

Do you use sarcasm?

I had to ask my brother "Hey Jon, have I ever used sarcasm?" and he said "no" so no. I think it's because I sort of wouldn't know how to do that but if I picked up that someone else was using sarcasm in a particular tone that lets me know that they're using sarcasm that's fine or like they're kidding is fine.

But if someone is using sarcasm in a rude way then I might be inclined to punch them really hard in the throat.

What is the first thing you notice about people?

I would say their vibes or their personality because I might be intimidated if I don't know the stranger or I might feel uncomfortable by their vibes. But if someone's vibes and personality seem friendly then it's safe for me to talk to them.

What is your eye color?

I think my eyes are dark brown.

Scary movies or happy endings?

DAMN okay so for this one it really depends because if it's a scary movie with a happy ending where a character lives after suffering the entire movie then I'm all for it right. The narrative needs to be well thought out and not half assed. But if it's like a scary movie where the narrative and characters makes sense, then be my guest kill everyone on the screen, however, if it's a movie like "The Descent" and there are no happy endings then I might get fucking angry.

Any talents?

Okay so for some reason this one was kind of hard for me to understand so I had to look up what you meant. But I would say writing, maybe storytelling, having a creative mind or possibly being creatively gifted.

{I would have to get help for this one and write a list.}

Where were you born?

In the USA but if you're talking about where I came out of the womb then that is confidential.

What are your hobbies?

Writing, Drawing in different mediums, sewing when I have to sew, playing video games, listening to music, sometimes singing, sometimes reading,

Do you have any pets?

I did...we had to put my 12 year old dog Aubrey down on March 2 due to liver cancer so it's been kind of hard for me since then. But I suppose I have unofficially adopted my friends pets, my sisters dog Starbuck, and am kind of happy just seeing animals in general.

💚 I still miss my best friend every day though. 💚

How tall are you?

I'm 5'3 and ready to beat someone's ass like a morally gray character.

Favorite subject in school?

Oooooooooooooooooh that's kind of a hard one, it's between History and Art.

Dream job?

When I figure it out then I'll come back to you.

I shall tag: @screechcat , @thisonewhocanbreathe , @schrodingerspsycho , @wandagcre

Feel free to try this out, tag your friends or close followers but also no pressure to make one!😊💚😘

[thefloatingstone]

I've potentially convinced a Discord server I'm in to do a watch party of Utena. As a professional Utena enjoyer, could you give me a list of all of the TWs that Utena entails? I know about a few, but I haven't watched the entire series myself, and I'd rather they be informed about what they're stepping into. 🙏

oh oof. OK! This may spoil certain things but I also understand the concern.

First, importantly, the show is PG13 so remember that nothing I am about to list is shown GRAPHICALLY on screen. You're never going to see detailed nudity (They're all barbie dolls) or sexual acts in detail. But the situations are IN the show and although some things are told through symbolism and metaphor... a lot of it is not.

I don't want this list to make you feel you shouldn't watch it, because almost every fucked up thing in the show is treated as being as fucked up as it is and does NOT paint these things as good or cool. As well, because the show uses metaphor and symbolism a lot, (as well as being aimed at teenaged girls) these topics are never graphic or presented as violence or in a "horror" way. It treats these subject as serious and mature, not as shock value or trying to upset the audience. This isn't Midori or anything.

So this is more if people would like to avoid certain topics COMPLETELY. But if they're not super triggered by the topic itself, they should be ok to watch the show as it portrays these things carefully and with consideration.

Also all of these triggers are plot important and tied directly to the narrative, and are not just there to be there. They all impact the story in a major way.

Also reminder what the show looks like

OK! So here's the list;

Trigger warnings for

A character throws a kitten into a river where it drowns (not graphic. Just very sad)

Flashing lights

incest between siblings (not shown in a positive light)

The characters are 14 despite not looking like it. So also sexual relations between an adult and several of the underage characters (it's fucked up and presented as fucked up)

Grooming ^ (once again fucked up and presented as fucked up)

Suicide attempt

suicide ideation

Terminal illness

High school bullying between girls

the character Anthy has multiple moments in the show where she is slapped by someone including some of the male characters

emotional and mental manipulation

The show is about "Gender is a construct. Tear it apart" so there are moments of deliberate misgendering and a LOT of misogyny from some of the worse people in the show

blood free stabbing

Parental death and grief is a large plot point

And finally; Nanami turns into a cow

I think that's everything. If anyone remembers a major trigger that needs to be added let me know.

[maya-matlin]

Pick your most unpopular opinion about each of these shows (only if you want to!!): Degrassi, OTH, Gilmore Girls, Friends, Riverdale, That 70s Show, and Dawson's Creek :)

Degrassi:

This is so difficult because I feel like I've stated so many opinions in the past. Okay. I think the Degrassi nudes arc was theoretically really interesting from a psychological standpoint as well as how a survivor would cope after going through a very public sexual assault trial with the details of what happened to them being well known. Because it feels like something so human and yet so misguided, I don't view Zoe's role in it as harshly as others do. To be fair, the writers lost the plot. Literally. It got really sensationalized with blackmailing and cheerleader dolls and fake hostage situations. I also really hate how it turned into a Zoe vs Frankie situation with zero nuance. Their past involving Frankie being an unsupportive friend who victim blamed Zoe multiple times was never brought up once in lieu of Frankie being turned into Zoe's victim. So while I wouldn't say I like the arc itself, I feel like it had potential. The writers just weren't committed to seeing it through and let Zoe down as a character. The aftermath was really underwhelming and made the whole story line irrelevant.

OTH:

Even though I like the shooting episode for what it is, it's a pretty mediocre depiction of characterizing a school shooter. Following Jimmy's suicide, the writing consistently expects the audience to feel sympathy for him and remember him as a good guy who did one bad thing. It's to the point where the entire school ends up signing his high school yearbook. To be fair, a lot of the Jimmy romanticism came from Mouth, who had weird morals himself considering he was the show's resident incel. But beyond that, Jimmy quickly stops being the villain of the episode to orchestrate a scenario where Dan just happens to stumble upon Keith and a gun, giving him the opportunity to murder him. Also, every other scene features monologues given by the characters that are blatantly trying WAY too hard to be deep and profound. Not to mention this episode marked the official return of romantic Lucas/Peyton, but because Peyton was bleeding and supposedly didn't know any better she can't possibly be held responsible for selfishly making a move on her best friend's boyfriend in what she believed to be her last moments. Sorry, fuck that. Your last moments shouldn't include complicating things for two people you claim to care about. Especially not when you were the one who helped ruin their relationship the first time around, and you know for a fact that your best friend still has trust issues over what happened.

Also, Brooke was the love of Lucas's life. I'll die on this hill. Blame Chad Michael Murray's inability to stop giving his ex-wife heart eyes even during scenes post-Brucas, but it is what it is.

Gilmore Girls:

It's difficult to know what is or isn't popular in the Gilmore Girls fandom. I guess I'll say that Rory dropping out of Yale was the right decision? The way I see it, nothing bad was ever going to come out of that. Rory was in a transitional place where she was questioning a lot of her life decisions. She didn't currently feel up to attending school, so she took some time off. It was completely understandable, yet the narrative insists that this was indicative of Rory going down a bad path. I can understand Lorelai wanting Rory to take some time to make sure this was what she wanted but if anything, Lorelai's overreaction probably made Rory take even more time off from school. Had Rory had her mother and best friend in her corner, maybe she would have realized by the beginning of the next semester that she was emotionally ready to return to Yale. Just.. everything with Lorelai, Richard and Emily feeling as though they could force Rory to go back to school as though she was suddenly going to lose her place and never be able to return was stupid. Out of the two of them, Lorelai was the pettiest and most in the wrong during their estrangement. Lorelai was the parent. Lorelai chose not to tell her daughter she was engaged. Rory shouldn't have ever felt as though she couldn't come home until she basically did everything her mother wanted her to do. Considering Lorelai's own history with Emily, you'd think she'd realize that. But again, the writers made sure we knew how badly Rory was ruining her life and making bad decisions for committing the crime of taking a leave of absence from school and daring to try other things in the meantime.

Friends:

My opinions on the Ross/Rachel infamous "break" are all over the place. Technically, I think Ross is right that their relationship was no longer intact when he slept with another woman. Their communication absolutely sucked during this story line. No attempts at clarification were ever made. Ross just walked out when Rachel said she wanted a break, and Rachel let him. Honestly, I don't even think Ross sleeping with someone else so soon after splitting up from Rachel, in whatever form you consider that to be, makes him an asshole. In an ideal world where everyone makes rational decisions all the time, Ross wouldn't have coped with intense heartbreak by immediately sleeping with someone else. But it was a human reaction, and I don't fault him for that. What I do fault him for is hiding it the next day, running around town trying to stop other people from telling Rachel. It's all but admitting that Ross and Rachel were still emotionally connected and in the mindset of being in a monogamous relationship. Even if they technically weren't. What I also fault him for is being so stubborn and adamant on being right that he never admits fault or owns up to causing Rachel pain for several years after that. So what if he didn't technically betray Rachel? To Rachel, it felt like one. Sometimes, when you love someone, you have to be understanding of the complexities of emotions and just take the fucking L, even if you're technically faultless by definition. And honestly, Rachel was part of the problem, too. What kind of relationship or connection do you really have if you're having the same, obnoxious argument for eight years, never able to get on the same page? Like, I know it's a comedy, but Friends wasn't playing up the comedy angle during this arc. Anyways, they definitely shouldn't have ended up together if they were going to keep getting tripped up over one argument for eight years.

Riverdale:

I don't know how unpopular this actually is, but Veronica is extremely underrated and never gets the love and appreciation she deserves. Looking across the entire series, including time jumps, different universes, and eras where the characters literally had powers, Veronica was consistently the most selfless and considerate character on the show. Half the time, she was the mean girl in name only. There were countless occasions where Veronica forgave even when she shouldn't have and/or should have held out for more remorse and effort from the person that wronged her. The attempt to compare Veronica kissing Ginger Judas in the pilot after knowing Archie and Betty for two seconds to Betty doing it three years into Varchie's relationship is.. it has some nerve. Anyways, Veronica was wonderful, ambitious, and everyone on that show was better for having known her. Sadly, she was underappreciated more often than not, rarely ever getting her due. I really wish anyone but Archie had been the love of her life, because he really didn't deserve her by the end.

That '70s Show:

Sometimes, Hyde gets way too much of a pass for his treatment of Jackie. I feel like he's overall the most popular character on the show with his relationship with Jackie being the most popular, resulting in a lot of his questionable behavior getting swept under the rug. Obviously Hyde had issues he needed to work through stemming from his childhood and struggled to let other people in. But Jackie was consistently a pretty great girlfriend for him, going out of her way to show love and affection, only for him to not 100% reciprocate. Fuck Danny Masterson (and honestly Mila at this point too), but a lot of what made that relationship what it was is the chemistry between Danny and Mila and how they chose to demonstrate the love between those two characters. Hyde was still miles ahead of Kelso and Fez and had great moments with Jackie. But it still needs to be said. Hyde put Jackie through a lot.

Dawson's Creek:

While not perfectly written, most of Andie's fall from grace during season 3 makes a lot of sense. I even think Andie cheating on Pacey was in character. It's a controversial take because no one wants to believe that season 2 Andie would have ever done such a thing. But the reality is, Andie had a literal mental breakdown. She says it herself. When Andie went to get mental health help, she was no longer the same girl Pacey fell in love with. Andie was in a dark, lonely, vulnerable place, and she met someone else. This guy understood parts of Andie's mental health struggles that Pacey couldn't, and it led to a friendship that became an emotional affair. They made their own world together, and then had one, impulsive slip up. It doesn't cheapen Andie's love for Pacey, but it's still understandable that Andie crossed a boundary of Pacey's that couldn't be uncrossed. After this, Andie's attempts to recuperate post-breakup, including her treatment of Pacey and even stealing the test were pretty consistent based on how desperately Andie wanted to appear normal and as though everything was under control. However, I also think early season 3 stacked the deck too far against Andie, resulting in her character leaving the show early. The supposed "false accusation" meant to make Andie look bad from a misogynistic, ableist showrunner took it too far. I personally think even during that episode, there are enough hints, including Rob's desperation to shut Andie's story down when she hadn't even gone to the authorities, indicates she told the truth. Seriously, his happy ass was all cocky when Pacey confronted him, but once he sobered up he practically sprinted to Joey's house to use Andie's mental health against her, even manhandling Joey multiple times to force her to listen. But whatever. The intent was obvious, and I still hated it. Anyways, Andie McPhee was great, and I wish people would still appreciate her at her worst. After all, it's what led to season 4 Andie, probably the strongest iteration of her character even though she sadly wasn't around for long.

[placeinthisworld]

I’m that anon and this might sound over the top but I genuinely feel so so so heard right now because for the longest time when I followed them their takes and the way Taylor just fully consumes their life made me feel drained. I remember always side eyeing how they would conveniently side step criticising Taylor whenever she would genuinely mess up like saying oh they’re not a part of that group so they don’t want to take up space but it’s like okay I get it, hell I can even respect that but why aren’t you reblogging posts criticising Taylor made by the people she has directly hurt from her actions then. the way that fans go into dissecting very minute details over there sometimes made me think of how inevitable it is for Taylor to not grow and change cuz these are the blogs that always filled up Taylor’s feed and realistically fans like this is what she’s exposed to and on a human level I can’t imagine being treated as if every minor action of mine is worth extensive praise. The mental development of a celebrity impacted by being placed on such high pedestals has always intrigued me. I won’t lie there was a time, whenever I came home from school I would sit and obsessively consume only Taylor content and would be very defensive over her in real life as well but ( and I’m not trying to be super judgemental here) I can’t imagine being that committed to protecting, coddling, praising and borderline worshipping somebody like that when I know that individual never even considers my existence for like a second, I genuinely can’t imagine doing this for years and years and never growing past it especially with everything Taylor has done.

I still remember how condescending and truthfully mean they were being to anons when some fans questioned why Taylor swapped out invisible string for the 1 and they defended joe so so so much as if they were his lawyer or something but as soon as they broke up the absolute switch up kind of floored me cuz I always thought that they genuinely started liking joe for his work at one point cuz of how much they would place him on a pedestal as well before but damn I got whiplash from soo many blogs after the breakup. I know this turned into a giant rant and I’m so sorry but it’s just I’ve never come across anybody that felt the same way cuz generally literally everybody praises that blog and treats it like royalty sometimes so it’s like getting to vent to somebody for the first time 😅😅😔😔

100000000% bestie i agree with everything you’ve said 😭

i followed them too for the longest time and always kinda followed that same mindset too. but something changed when eras started that made me just kinda….feel like there was a tswift overexposure/ blowup where it suddenly felt like people were only online again to gain clout, and then the breakup happened and everyone and their mom was suddenly a diehard swiftie with all these opinions about it and it started to make me feel icked out by the way people just…..casually discussed and debated/speculated about her personal life and their entire relationship without knowing really anything more. when the breakup happened i definitely saw the switch from just another swiftie to literally suffocating up taylor’s asshole. i mostly blame tumblr too for giving them that attention lol i think that definitely fed into their dialogue. i remember being kinda sad when i unfollowed but knew it was better for me bc their interactions with anons and their opinions were so wild lol. i also remember starting to feel like i was a bad fan/ swiftie if i couldn’t defend taylor like that in good conscience so i figured disengaging would be enough, but then meathead came into play and suddenly their narrative became clear that they were really just ready to support and defend taylor about absolutely everything (and then somewhere along the way they blocked meeeee and ngl i wa so caught off guard bc i had unfollowed so long before that i couldn’t even tell you when it happened or like what i said to cause if LMAO i’m sure it was one of my criticism posts about taylor but like still find it funny!) because at the end of the day we’re all just fans seeing what taylor wants us to see and nobody really has any insight as to what taylor is thinking or how she feels, yes even if you spent a few hours with her once 5+ years ago……

overall is been a very eye opening experience as to how parasocial relationships develop and how weird people are on social media…..i always said (jokingly) that swiftism was a disease but like i actually feel like it is

[datamodel-of-disaster]

Ask game time! Thanks for the tag, @filmamir!

1. Are you named after anyone?

I keep saying if I do anything noteworthy enough in my life to deserve a wikipedia page, someone has to add me to List of things named after Bernhard Riemann - Wikipedia, so... yes.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday night, and also, longer ago than I remember. Are the tears mine if the sadness isn't? It be like that sometimes.

3. Do you have kids?

No, and thank the powers that be (mostly contraception) for that!

4. What sports do you play/have played?

No real sports, unless highschool PE counts. I was a fervent and pretty skilled skier for a while but my partner is afraid of skiing and its too expensive to go on my own, so it's been years since I did it.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Not as much as you'd think. I'm a painfully sincere person much of the time.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I hate to be *that* person, but... their vibe. Fake car salesperson smiles, awkward "haha we will ignore that!" silences, confrontational high-schooler convo style... Some people just have fucky energy, idk what else to say. That said, my actual opinion of people takes a while to form -it's like a committee vote more or less.

7. What's your eye colour?

Blue-green

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way. I can watch unhappy endings if the movie is aesthetic(TM) or it's more about the art or history of the film than the narrative, but if I'm immersing myself in a story-story, the person(s) the narrative makes me root for better fucking make it to a happy end.

I'm very selective about scary movies: they need to be aesthetic, and satisfying.

9. Any talents?

... not... really? I kinda struggle with linking my qualities to "talents". I don't have many (if any) things I'm just "naturally good" at; even skill sets I'm now proud of were not something I ever had a natural aptitude for, and if I developed a skill it was 99% of the time out of necessity rather than enjoyment.

I guess I have... shockingly broad bandwidth for other people's issues. Like... interpersonal exhaustion? I don't know her, man. Mostly due to a combination of voyeuristic enjoyment of knowing and understanding things about others, my sense of empathy being almost entirely generated through fine-grained psych analysis rather than instinct, and the *very* odd given that my own personality temporarily stabilizes when exposed to interpersonal input. I'm not sure that's a talent so much as a condition, though xD

10. Where were you born?

Belgium

11. What are your hobbies?

At the moment, mostly writing Tron fanfiction. I also draw (sometimes), paint and kitbash Warhammer 40k minis (been a while), do metalwork (I need a new welding helm T_T), do gothic and fetish modelling, thrift and collect things for my house, etcetera. I cycle through hobbies mostly. Writing is my most stable one -I dare say I keeps me sane.

12. Do you have any pets?

I have a cat! Her name is Meoi (Quenya for "Cat", in honour of Huan and terrible Feanorian naming traditions -retired Silmarillion fan here)

13. How tall are you?

1m70 but most people assume I'm a good bit taller because I'm broad-shouldered and always in 17cm platform stilettos.

14. Favourite subject in school?

Oof. Tough one. I've been out of school for a good long while. The person I was in high-school would have picked physics, followed closely by math. Leaving the following period in the middle (lalala), at uni *in the major I actually graduated from*, my favourites were Architectural Theory, Medieval Image Culture, and Visual Analysis.

15. Dream job?

Oof again. Opinions divided on this one.

I like to say my dream job needs to meet the following criteria:

- I am competent at the job and reasonably regularly get this confirmed by others

- Every day at work I know largely what is expected of me, and what is expected fully falls within my capacity to deliver.

- I have tangible, well-described tasks and goals and never have to "be proactive about finding more work" or "try to look more productive".

- I have good coworkers I get along with, at least professionally.

- No extraneous admin tasks or timesheet micromanagement.

- GOOD PAY

If I'm really ambitious, I would add to that:

- I'm an expert (or just really, really good) at it.

But let's be honest, actual dream jobs Riemann over here has dreamed of having or pursuing? Interior designer/stylist, professional fetish performer/pro-domme, and Enterprise IT Architect.

Yeah.

You see why I stick to bullet point lists.

Tagging... @bowiesinspace @inquisitor-gayfax @clevermird @et-novum and everyone else who feels like it!

[allsassnoclass]

hazel!!!! i'm sending you 🧠🤘😈 along with my love 💙 -megs 💙

@igarbagecannoteven hi megs :) this got long so it's all under the cut!

send me a 🧠 for a long ramble about something i’m obsessed with lately

well well well. i'm going to talk about my character at the haunted house :) because i love her and i am obsessed with her and i have so much time to think about her while waiting for people to come into my tiny little oasis of a room. i am especially obsessed with her contradictions!!!! she is best friends with two outsiders but well-loved enough for the entire town to go absolutely crazy about her disappearance. the news stories we show in the haunt imply that she's in elementary school but her missing poster says she's 5'2 and shows a teenager (and also she's played by me, a 24 year old). she is dead but she also can never die. she knows everything going on but she can't properly remember her life (and also sean hasn't given me a journal to turn into her photo diary yet!). her disappearance is the catalyst for the entire storyline but only a handful of patrons actually get to hear about it from her. she's a daddy's girl and he becomes the secondary villain of the haunt because grief turns him crazy but the news stories mention parents plural yet there is no evidence of her mother at any other point in the haunt. her only character traits are that she's blonde and wears green but she's also the most complex character in the entire story. she's a paragon of feminine innocence but she has a guy's name. she has no agency but you can't get the full narrative without talking to her. her room in the haunt is the least scary room but it's a prison and she's trapped there for eternity because it's a memory but it's not even her memory!!!! she is fully reliant on two dudes (her dad or her best friend) to save her but they're both doing a terrible job and murdering a bunch of people instead. her life sucks!!!! but at least she might get to properly die at some point!!!!!

send me a 🤘 for a song rec

oooo let's see! Happy Birthday by Cooper Morrison is about being young but dreading getting older because you feel like things are never going to get better and that you're behind where you should be in life. also i met cooper once because he used to be in a band with/date a friend of mine from high school.

and because promoting women's music is important, Dessa released a new album recently and it's more pop focused than I like from her but I do really like the two songs from it that she had already released, one of which is "I Already Like You"

send me a 😈 for a hashtag hot take

People really, really need to not take songs lyrics as 100% truthful retellings of actual events in the singer's life. Many songs are inspired by personal experience, but there are always going to be aspects of fiction in them. Songwriters are creative storytellers, first and foremost, and they are storytellers who are writing from a specific perspective rather than writing an objectively truthful account. I've seen people prying into Olivia Rodrigo's life to find out who or what her songs are about, when the fact of the matter is that they're all going to have elements of fiction in them. She's telling a story, regardless of what the inspiration for that story was. Respect her privacy and stop trying to dig up her life to connect every line of a song to an actual event. This also really bothered me when All Too Well TV came out and everyone was taking the short film as gospel truth and hating on jake gyllenhaal to the extreme. Was the age gap weird and did he mistreat her? yeah probably. but that doesn't change the fact that ATW TV is a sensationalized retelling that she crafted into a story, and the short film especially is a double-fictionalized version of that story. Basically, everyone needs to be okay interpreting songs in their own way and they definitely need to make their peace with all songs being fictional to some degree.

[catboyebooks]

god, where to fucking start? i think i'll put a pin in the kamukura issue because we'll have more to discuss re: that in a minute anyway. let's talk about nanami. Let's fucking talk about nanami.

firstable, jumping directly to the main issue, i love how direct she is here in pointing out the root of hinata's problems. Being Talented is not and has never been the real issue here, obviously. literally nobody cares except him. it's nbd that hinata is pretty average at stuff, his peers don't care (even komaeda, who is also very hung up on the importance of having a talent, acknowledges that he still likes hinata just as much knowing that he's ordinary), we as the players don't care (we had an everyman protag last time too). the real problem is that hinata is so utterly lacking in confidence that he just assumes he can't/won't succeed, all because he's not Talented™, so he just gives up and accepts defeat rather than trying. he's done pretty solidly as a protagonist in this game (i'd say he actually demonstrates some aptitude at the whole amateur detective thing) all because he assumed that being here meant he had a talent after all. also, hinata has spent the entire game refusing to do introspection because every time he comes slightly close to introspecting he starts doom spiraling. this guy has next to no confidence and THAT is the issue. so nanami just forcing him to confront this here is fucking great, it's been a long time coming, he absolutely needed this as a kick in the pants. But Also, nanami has never ever been this blunt or delivered this much "tough love" to anybody. her tone here, the way she's speaking, it feels different from how she's behaved in this game prior, and hinata notices. and i have a lot to say about this.

i remember seeing an interview with kodaka, talking about dr3, where he said he didn't get the idea that there might have been a real chiaki nanami they all went to high school with until after he wrote this scene. because nanami is acting different here, and, even though he had hinata point it out, he didn't have a clear idea in his head at the time for why she has this sudden shift in behavior. it's just what needed to happen to progress the story, i guess. we'll get to covering dr3 eventually on here and i don't wanna get too ahead of myself, but this is much closer to how nanami in dr3 acts than it is to anything we've seen from nanami previously in sdr2. so with that context, the way this reads is that hinata is, like, having a conversation in his head with the memory of the real nanami he once knew. without that context, taking sdr2 on its own, this reads as though hinata is really having this conversation with himself. he knows he has a self-esteem problem, just can't admit to it, and the only way he can bring himself to confront it is by projecting those feelings onto "nanami" and pretending like she's saying this stuff to him.

either way, hinata's not exactly talking to nanami here. the AI version of her doesn't seem to have been fully deleted (she showed up during the late chapter 5 glitching, like most everyone else), but this is different enough from her prior behavior that i think you can only read it as either hinata talking to a memory of real!nanami or talking to himself via a version of nanami he's imagined. even if kodaka wasn't sure why he was writing nanami this way at the time, he made it a conscious part of the narrative here by having hinata comment on it and ask repeatedly who he's really talking to.

god this game really is so fucking much all of the time. sorry i have to take constant asides to overanalyze everything. we're gonna continue i prommy.

when the scene resolves, hinata and nanami are floating in a void:

hinata asks nanami why she's here, shouldn't she have already disappeared? does this mean this is his memory of nanami? (nanami's just like "hm, i wonder?" but otherwise lets him talk here without interjecting.) he's like, hey, isn't it pretty fucked up of the future foundation to tell us the world will be destroyed if we don't sacrifice themselves? someone like me can't make that choice (i guess he figures important decisions are for talented people). hinata goes on to say he's had enough, he doesn't understand all this stuff and he's tired of being involved in it. he's had like three different existential crises in short order (learning he doesn't have a talent, learning he's part of shsl despair, learning that this version of himself isn't real and is doomed to disappear), and that's a bit fucked up, innit?

when nanami doesn't reply, hinata tries to get her to back him up. she doesn't want that outcome either, right? if they force shutdown the simulation, if they lose their memories of nanami, not a single trace of her existence will remain. nanami says, no, she won't disappear. even if she doesn't "exist," even if they lose their memories of her, as long as they continue working towards the future she fought for and gave her life for the sake of she'll never be completely gone. in pursuing the future she believed in, they'll keep her memory alive even if they can't literally remember her. hinata acknowledges this is true but hesitates, and nanami asks him if he's scared. it's not just the disappearing part; even if he survives in some form and can continue to move towards the future, the burden he has to carry now is heavy. hinata admits to this. yeah, he's scared. of course it's scary.

nanami gets suddenly forceful (for her, anyway) and calls hinata out for being perpetually indecisive. she asks him "didn't you want to become someone with confidence? isn't that why you admired hope's peak academy?" hinata points out that hope's peak also tricked him. and then nanami's like. Hinata-kun. You have been looking at this wrong the entire time. Becoming talented isn't the goal. Having faith in yourself is way more important than any talent. You could have all the talent in the world and it would not fix your confidence issues. she implies that this is really what went wrong with the whole kamukura thing — hope's peak trying to "make him talented" when his core issue wasn't lacking talent, it was lacking self-esteem.

hinata's taken aback by this. we've never known nanami to be this blunt. he asks who he's really talking to — nanami should have already disappeared, right? nanami ignores this and continues. she says that the hinata she and the others got to know during the killing game isn't the same hinata he was before all that. he's changed, he's moving forward, and it's gonna be alright. it's time he finally believed in himself.

hinata asks nanami what choice he should make. saving himself vs. saving the world — what's the right call? nanami says the decision is up to the group, they're the only ones with the right to decide their future, and the responsibility as well. hinata's like, ok, so i have to choose? nanami says, well, if you can't choose either of the futures you've been presented, how about creating your own? this world is just a game, but he isn't, and the rest of his classmates aren't either. they're real, and so for them this isn't a video game decision where their choices are binary. if options 1 and 2 both suck, they can create an option 3. hinata's like, can i do that? someone like me? and nanami reminds him that this isn't a game so things like talent, skill, level, etc. don't matter. they have a "tremendous ultimate move" that can overcome anything. her advice is to Just Do It, and things will turn out okay. he needs to make this decision for his own sake, not anybody else's. then she says "it's about time you show me your cool side!" i love the implication that he has yet to do anything cool around her. that's right. she also offers to help.

the scene fades out here. we're gonna get thrown right into another debate, i'm sure, but i have a couple things to say first. again. sorry about myself but this is all so much

[kurokoros]

actually really messed up over the way that Steve Harrington is a character that's desperate to be wanted by someone and the narrative repeatedly punishes him for it. he's a very metaphorical and literal punching bag each season, but it's Steve so it's always a haha funny in hindsight moment or whatever trauma he goes through simply isn’t addressed afterwards.

like, it's implied that his parents aren't around much and/or they have an unhappy and unhealthy marriage (his mom has to follow his dad on business trips to make sure he isn't cheating, which happens often enough that his friends can joke about it). his friends sucked and he obviously didn't agree with or like some of the things they did, but at least they paid attention to him so it was something. he has a reputation for serial dating (or at the very least sleeping around) by the beginning of his junior year in high school. S1 has Nancy blow him off, lie to him, and then spend the night with Jonathan Byers in her bedroom, leading him to believe she’s cheating on him (and despite the audience knowing that’s not technically the case, there’s no denying that the scenes between Nancy and Jonathan were meant to imply romantic chemistry between them). in S2, drunk or not, Nancy is extremely cruel in the way she blames him in part for the death of her friend and calls their entire roughly year long relationship bullshit (which she never really apologizes for), after which she disappears for several days, leaving their relationship ambiguously over, only to show up again a few days later with the new boyfriend she spent over a year pining for. S3 he pours his heart out to Robin just to be rejected when there were totally different ways to work her coming out scene into the plot that didn’t involve spending x number of episodes hinting towards them as a couple just to pull a bait and switch for the audience. and then in S4 Steve is both insecure about his friendship with Dustin, who has more in common with Eddie than he does with Steve, and he has several different people telling him that he's still interested in Nancy and that she's also interested in him (Dustin, Robin, Eddie), only to have his heart kind of broken all over again when she goes right back to Jonathan. 

and that's emotional pain on top of getting beaten or otherwise attacked every season. though arguably justified, in S1 Steve is slapped, punched, and shoved around. during his fight with Billy in S2, Steve is beaten to the point of being knocked out cold for an undetermined amount of time between roughly 10-30 minutes. this is treated like a joke in S3, but considering the number of blows he took to the head there should have been a very serious concern over him having a concussion at best and trauma to the brain at worst. S3 is the same, but the focus on him feeling “like [his] eye is about to pop out��� implies ocular trauma. he’s then drugged and nearly has his fingernails ripped off as a form of torture. finally in S4 his bare back is dragged across the ground, he’s strangled, and he has chunks of flesh ripped out of his sides, which I can’t remember being addressed at all after the group returns from the upside down. 

that’s a lot to go through in the ~2.5 years that Stranger things covers. and what’s worse is that I can’t remember a single time where a character asks if he’s okay

[charthanry]

BBS EP12: The Small Moments (or Attack of the Parallels)

I’ve now watched this perfect episode half a dozen times and keep discovering these small, quiet moments that P’Aof sneaks in between the bigger ones. P’Aof is so adept at layering his narrative; he’s like a puzzle maker revealing small pieces at a time that seemingly don’t fit only for it to form a full and complete picture later. It reminds me of those i-spy/hidden picture books, there’s just so much to look at that you miss out on the tiny details that make the whole thing just sing. He's also great at crafting the series as a complete journey with many call backs to previous scenes. 

We open with Pat waking up and brushing his teeth. He takes several beats here to stare wistfully at his toothbrush. The first time I watched this I interpreted this as him remembering Pran putting toothpaste on his toothbrush for him. BUT on rewatch, I re-interpreted this as Pat missing Pran and wondering if he’s awake and going about his morning routines too. Then we jump to Pran doing that very thing. It’s a nod to the opening sequence of EP2 where we see them each getting ready for their morning classes. This seemingly small detail is so well done.

In the high school flashbacks we are shown that PatPran have always been looking at each other and still are years later. Pat finally got his man’s attention after so much pigtail-pulling antics, but it's only more recently that he learns he's always had it.

When Pat opens the door and reveals Pran, we can see him visibly swallowing like he has to catch his breath or stop himself from reaching out and grabbing Pran. Such a great small detail by Ohm.

The micellar face wiping scene needs no explanation. And that line you’re still the cutest, put your face on my palm I am lit from within every time I watch this scene.

Pran’s I hate you from EP4 compared to Pran’s I still hate you in this episode. We know both times it’s him saying the opposite and Pat knows it now too.

Pat’s come here when he shows Pran the memory board. Another great call back to EP5′s come here. Same words, same intent but different delivery.

Pat kept most of Pran’s emoji lights because he misses him and simultaneously wanted to recreate their college ‘love nest’. He even kept all their post-it notes, what a Pran thing to do.

Their entire duologue about being rivals (this guy with the fierce eyes is Pat/This guy with the dimples is Pran) while standing in front of the memory board is a call back to their first reunion in EP1. Then we see the young versions of themselves standing in front of their respective houses in the same way the grown versions do in both the end of EP11 and in this episode. Magnificient parallels.

The running gag of Pran forgetting his earbuds case and Pran 'scenting' his friend/unfriend shirt for Pat. It's comforting that years later Pat still isn't over Pran's smell.

The fake enemies walking towards each other on campus only to hook pinkies as they pass is a great nod to EP7′s “the bet” when they secretly held hands at the bus stop.

Pat bundled in a comforter with Nong Nao in his arms rushing over to Pran’s for a sleepover. Such small yet so complete detailing.

The return to the noodle stand in front of their dorms where Pran orders an extra wonton for Pat to steal. What a sweet call back to EP3 and the hilarious chopsticks duel. Also note that Pran lines up his chopsticks to make sure they’re even. This show is so amazingly consistent with its characterization.

Pat asking Pran when he’ll get to enter his house normally like other people and Pran’s response that’s for other people and Pat isn't one of them and why would he want to be? Pat has special access, for life. What a simple, perfect response.

In Pran’s room, PatPran sing “Just Friends” to each other while Pran’s parents are downstairs. Such a great juxtaposition to his parents walking in and disrupting their Christmas performance of the same song but now with different results. I can’t get over Dissaya’s quiet smile here and Dad knowingly placing his head on her shoulder saying I’m proud of you honey. I’ve said it before but it’s worth mentioning again, this was my favorite non-PatPran scene of the episode.

The string-can telephone scene on the balcony- how they had young PatPran dressed in the same color scheme and style as their older selves is such a small detail but man does it stick the landing.

Pat singing Same Page when he kisses Pran during their nighttime picnic on Pat’s patio. So many sweet moments in this scene calling back to their competitiveness.

Pat knowing that the first song Pran ever learned guitar chords for is from the band So Cool is such a great call back to EP5. Something Pran probably doesn’t go around broadcasting, but Pat is adorably proud of himself for knowing this about Pran that nobody else does.

PatPran engaging in foreplay and chasing each other in the bonus credit scene was perfection and also is a big nod to their race to their dorms in EP3. 

The background music in this episode was on point. They used so many recognizable songs from the series creating this feeling of nostalgia and warmth, it never feels overdone or formulaic- just cozy and familar, like coming home.

I may go back and do these small moments and parallels for each episode at some point, maybe. In the meantime, you can find my intital reaction on my first viewing of EP12 here.

[teaveetamer]

Ok so this is my thoughts on FNAF. I feel like FNAF started a whole era of "mystery baiting" type storytelling in video games. Where the important thing about the mystery is not the answer, or even the lore itself. The value in it is getting fans to talk about your game, hunt through every facet of it, and try to "figure out" the mystery themselves.

Now to be clear, I'm sure FNAF wasn't the first game or series to do this. However, I think it was the first time a game, and an indie game at that, not only did it with some success, but took off into a cultural phenomenon. In 2012 or 2013 I couldn't even imagine being able to walk into any GameStop and straight up buy merch for some indie game I'd played/seen, and by 2015 there were people walking around my high school just casually rocking Fredbear hoodies and keychains. Nowadays we're even at the point where there's basically an entire Horror Genre that's basically "make some wacky, recognizable characters and hope your game gets picked up by a big YouTuber so you can get a merch deal out of it." And a lot of those games use the FNAF formula of mystery baiting in the hopes that they'll entice people to talk about them.

We all love a good unsolved mystery. And it's free advertising for your game! Naturally people will see others talking about the lore and the mystery and they'll say "hey, this sounds neat, lemme find out more".

But it's also bad from a story writing perspective because you eventually run into a few problems.

#1) You need to keep the mystery going so people will keep talking about it, which leads to a massive bloat of meaningless content as you produce things just to drop "nuggets" for people to follow. I think later FNAF games really fall into this trap, where they just keep adding and adding and adding to the lore and now everything either conflicts or there's no human alive not named MatPat who can keep track of all of it.

I think Hello Neighbor also did this (granted I never got super deep into this one). But I remember when that game came out in like pre-alpha and there was some mystery, and people lost their minds trying to figure it out, and so the developers kept adding and adding and adding with every build to try to keep the hype going and then... nothing. It got so dumb and convoluted that people just stopped paying attention and most people don't even know the game came out AND has like four sequels at this point.

2) You never intended to answer the mystery, and you never do, which pisses people off. Unlike real life unsolved mysteries, we know that video game narratives are constructed by someone who knows all of the answers and they could tell us if they wanted, they just won't.

3) You have to answer the mystery, and trust me the answer is never going to live up to the expectation. It's a similar sentiment to people who are disappointed when the conclusion to a beloved game series is fumbled. You spend all of this time with the game playing it, searching for evidence, theorizing, talking with your friends, watching youtube videos, hunting for leads... and then it's not what you expected. The amount of backlash you'll get for an unsatisfying resolution is usually proportional to the amount of time you spend stringing the mystery out.

I think the Fodlan games carry a lot of that same energy. Again, the devs touted it as a plus that they were creating a game where many things were going to be left ambigious/unresolved/up to interpretation/off screen because it would make the world feel "bigger" and "more alive". They specifically say they intentionally left things out in routes because they wanted players to play a route and then go talk to each other online to try and "figure out" the mysteries of the other routes.

And I think this is a failure of writing for three reasons.

#1) They needed to keep producing content to keep the mystery going, which led to a massive bloat of meaningless content created as an excuse to keep the mystery going so players would have breadcrumbs to follow.

2) There are some mysteries they apparently just never intended to answer. The Shez/Ashe support in Hopes is a prime example of this. The exact origins of Arval is one as well, and TWSITD's whole deal was left mostly unaddressed. Sothis is also a mystery left hanging, as she never regains her memories or anything. This is frustrating to players, because we know devs exist who have the answers and they are just choosing not to tell us, because reasons.

This is also a double edged sword for them, because unlike FNAF which can continue going in perpetuity, constantly giving players new breadcrumbs and bite sized pieces of lore to satisfy them juuust enough, FE is a series that is frequently one-and-done. Which means you have players arguing the same points cyclically, and with no new information ever added to clarify or give further clues. This leads to even more frustration and burnout with the IP.

3) The mysteries they did answer, the answers often did not live up to expectation. Either in the execution (plot dumps, mostly), or in the actual answer. Frequently because the answer is "idk, mole people did it" with no further elaboration, and the mole people themselves are an underdeveloped mystery so you've just answered a mystery with another mystery.

That's not to say you can't have mystery or intrigue, but I don't know. To me the Fodlan games feel like they were intentionally constructed to mystery bait a fandom into promoting their game for them

Now, do I think 3H was influenced directly by FNAF? It's... difficult to say. I know in the West we tend to look at Japanese developers as this isolated island, but of course they look at what's working in other parts of the world. The most recent Story of Seasons game was noticeably influenced by the success of Stardew Valley, for example. FNAF's influence also didn't just stop in the west. It was a big phenomenon in many parts of the world.

Of course FNAF and FE are completely different genres, unlike Stardew and SoS, but it's not completely unbelievable that someone looked at FNAF, or stories that copied FNAF's formula and found some success, and said "ooh, mysteries! People seem to like those. Add some of this into the next game!" When one game does something successfully then the industry tends to chase it.

[redphlox]

How Touya can be Saved

I’ve talked before about why I think Shouto will save Touya, and now I want to talk about how. No doubt saving the eldest Todoroki child will be a combined family effort, but I want to specifically talk about Shouto’s role in this because it will be the culmination of his character arc. I also want to tie in how Dabi can make himself seen and understood by crying tears of blood in front of his family. Finally receiving validation after desperately needing it his entire life will be the key to his salvation.

As of chapter 298, Shouto already empathizes with Touya; he feels Touya’s hate and even recognizes Dabi is the person Shouto himself was before the Sports Festival. Shouto is extending his empathy and understanding to his brother the same way he reacted to Iida during the Stain arc in chapter 53, “Todoroki to Iida.”

Having empathy for Dabi’s resentment is only the first step in reaching him, though. That shared rage doesn’t completely validate Dabi’s pain as an abuse victim, which is something Shouto has yet to recognize about himself. Shouto’s anger has always been about how Endeavor abused Rei to the point she had to be institutionalized and not how Endeavor isolated him, physically abused him, and robbed him of his childhood. Shouto probably hadn’t stopped to think about how the other Todorokis perceived their family situation because, like most families in this situation, no one talked about the abuse - Shouto even expresses surprise and agreement in 192 when Natsuo confronts Endeavor with the entire family’s pain. Shouto thinks back to the memory of wanting to play with his siblings and realizes that specific day didn't only stay with him but that his siblings remember it and were impacted by it, too.

Like Natsuo, Dabi knows the root cause of their family’s dysfunction was Endeavor, and while he had a problem with what he perceived as each individual member’s blindness to their abuse, he ultimately doesn’t blame the victims and instead assigns all the blame onto Endeavor. Even 10 years later, he still calls Rei ‘okaasan’, Fuyumi ‘Fuyumi-chan’, and Natsuo ‘Natsu-kun’ because he still cares about them and recognizes all of them as victims of a corrupt hero who never set out to be a husband and a father and only used them.

However, Touya's own victimhood has never been validated - in 301 and 302, it was seen that he was the scapegoat for his family, and no matter how much he tried to earn back his father’s approval or call his father out on his unfair treatment, no one was ever on Touya’s side. His mother told him to look away from his father as an example instead of standing up to Endeavor for herself and her children, and Fuyumi and Natsuo were too young to understand and couldn't relate to what Touya went through as Endeavor's prized heir. Touya needs validation that he was abused and neglected. He always has. He still does.

The person in the perfect position to understand what it’s like to be on the receiving end of Endeavor’s impossibly high standards, obsession with surpassing All Might, and quirk training is Shouto. But in order to fully empathize with Dabi and show his brother that he can relate, Shouto needs to acknowledge that he too was a victim. In 292, Dabi basically asks Shouto to validate the pain and suffering Dabi had just exposed in the battlefield, but his question still stands unanswered.

To reach Touya, Shouto also has to show Dabi what kind of person he is - as in, Shouto has to separate himself from Endeavor’s shadow and establish that he too has been holding Endeavor accountable for his actions. We as readers know that Shouto’s entire character arc has been about asking himself, “Who am I?” Often, children who grow up in abusive households struggle with their identity and Shouto is a perfect example of this. This is why he chose his hero name to be his name: Shouto. He’s learning who he is after years of trying so hard to not be his father and becoming exactly like him - cold, distant, tunnel visioned, hateful. It wasn't until he met Inasa that he realized this and wanted to right his wrongs.

Like Inasa, Dabi doesn’t know Shouto at all. Both Inasa and Dabi knew Endeavor and assumed Shouto would be just like him. Inasa had a valid reason to think this of Shouto of course, because Shouto was standoffish and dismissive during the UA entrance exams, but at the time of the provisional license exam Inasa hadn’t learned that Shouto had recognized this toxic side of himself and had begun working towards the kind of person he wants to be. Shouto had to show Inasa the real him, and in a similar way, he will have to prove this to Dabi. Dabi hasn’t seen Shouto struggle with his identity like we the readers have; Dabi only sees his usurper making headlines and willingly interning with Endeavor. He probably assumes Shouto is proudly training to carry their father’s legacy. Dabi isn’t privy to the nuanced relationship Shouto or their siblings have with their father. All Dabi knows is that Endeavor is seeing and paying attention to Shouto and Shouto seemingly submitting. Dabi has no idea THIS is how it really is:

Showing others who he is is a way for Shouto to process his own trauma and establish his identity. As the son of the #2 hero, Shouto has always had to prove himself to others - that he’s not his father. He’s even had to prove this to himself by accepting his fire side and making it his own in spite of his father repeatedly calling him a creation or a masterpiece. Not being like his father is such a defining trait for Shouto that he feels compelled to tell kindergarteners during the re-licensing exam his life story and his trauma. He literally bore his heart out to these kids because he knew he wouldn’t get through to them unless he was genuine. I think he’ll apply this concept to Touya, too.

The thing about Shouto is that, while he hasn’t reconciled with his own status as an abuse victim, he sees himself as a survivor. He sees himself as someone who managed through a difficult situation and wants to help others get through their struggles too. That's why getting through to these kids was so important to him, why he took it so seriously. These were problematic kids, and instead of calling them brats or trying to intimidate or manipulate them, he tries to get down to their level and relate. Notice he emphasizes how much he struggled in school at first, how his relationship with his father is strained - in his mind, it's something these kids may be able to relate to.

Shouto is someone who sets out to understand and make others feel seen and understood. It's what makes him kind. Shouto probably understands why his father abused the entire family - Endeavor's reasons don't excuse him or earn his children's forgiveness, but it's a reason that humanizes him to Shouto. He himself was a cold, bitter person who now believes people can change if given the right opportunity and self-awareness because this is a lesson he's learned from Midoriya and Inasa. This is also something Shouto can grant Touya: understanding, a listening ear, space to be wrong, and a chance to be seen.

Touya wanted and still craves to be seen, and he has to see in return. He has to realize Shouto isn't his father's puppet. He has to relate to Shouto much like Shouto is relating to him. Shouto will have to pull the same move he pulled on those kindergarteners and tell Dabi his struggles, and then show him he’s making his own path different from their father’s and that the family isn’t blindly following Endeavor anymore or letting him do what he wants. Natsuo has stood up to him, Rei has stood up to him, Fuyumi has admitted to herself she had been trying to play a happy family instead of fixing the internal mess - they as a family will have to show Dabi all of this, and he’ll have to wrap his head around it. He has to realize that his family is different from how they were 10 years ago. This is what I mean by allowing Touya space to be wrong - it’s okay for him to be wrong in assuming all these things about Shouto. Shouto won’t judge him for it.

I've talked before about how the narrative framing as of chapter 309 has set up that a person must express their feelings in a socially acceptable manner before they can be a candidate for saving, and that means crying. As soon as Midoriya saw a glimpse of little Tenko crying, he switched his mentality from "I'll never forgive you" to "I want to save that crying boy." When Toga ran away from Ochako crying, Ochako became concerned and curious. Following this pattern, it makes sense that Dabi also has to show his emotions, but it’s complicated because he can’t cry due to his burnt tear ducts. Every time we’ve seen him cry tears of blood, he’s been alone - he’ll have to cry in front of Shouto and the family for it to sink in that all of Dabi’s destruction and hate stems from deep-seated sorrow and feelings of abandonment. The family does not yet know how the fire that killed Touya started, and they have no idea that Touya’s emotions are linked to his fire and that he died because he was feeling overwhelmingly forsaken and sad. Once they find out, however, they’ll fully understand Touya (hopefully) and recognize they haven’t been understanding him at all. Saving Touya will be difficult because he has to be vulnerable and that's not something he's done as Dabi, but that's where the Todoroki family arc is headed: healing as a family.

As a side note: I’m not saying that the message the manga is giving is the correct one (how you express yourself shouldn’t be a determinant of the help you receive) but it’s what we have to work with. I also think saving Touya will be more complicated than this and will also involve Natsuo, but that’s a meta for another day! ;]