#but i also believe that if you refuse to change any characterization while also reading him as having trauma it's SUCH a type of guy

[marezablr]

i think the thing that's funny about gohan is that if you take canon at face value, you have to accept he doesn't "have trauma." canon is fundamentally more interested in big intense emotions and drama than the smaller moments (although it still has those, and they can be really touching). this is not a deficit! dragon ball is a series where someone you love dies, and you scream so big you get superpowers. it's great.

so taking canon for what it is, gohan has experienced traumatic events, but he doesn't have any trauma from them. it has had no effect on him.

but if you want to understand him as having trauma, then the obvious reading is that gohan takes on the "just a guy" genre of having a trauma. the kind where you cannot get him to admit that he even experienced trauma, let alone that it did anything to him.

being dumped in the woods for six months should have affected him developmentally? sure, it was scary and weird at first, but then it was kind of fun, really!

watching people die at age five should have affected him? no, it's okay, most of them came back. it's sad about the ones who didn't, but it's important to mourn your losses and go forward in honor of their memories!

the world being put on his shoulders when he was eleven might have messed him up? that was hard, but it did have to be him. and he messed up, but his dad told him not to feel bad. his dad wouldn't want him to dwell!

everyone who put him in dangerous situations loved him, and they're his heroes, and gohan really was uniquely powerful, and the world was really at stake, so he did uniquely have to be involved. no one did anything wrong. besides, it was kind of hard, but nothing is wrong with him. he's just a guy.

he's aggressive about protecting his normal life and had a hard time even knowing what "normal" looked like, but he's just a guy. he didn't want pan to see people being killed, but there were no consequences when that happened for him. he's just a guy. his rage is something he avoids like it scares him, but his emotional regulation is great, really!

none of it had a negative effect on him. it was hard sometimes, but he learned a lot of things, and he's fine now. he's just a guy.

you will never get any of the big, obvious signs of trauma out of gohan (again: canon is pretty content that he's happy and well-adjusted!), but you can find trauma responses if you want by leaning into that. that's the kind of trauma response where people don't admit it to themselves, where they constantly minimize and excuse what happened (they love me, they never wanted to hurt me, therefore i can't have been hurt). the kind of trauma response that only comes out in weird leakages, in little comments and odd irrational behaviors—and then, occasionally, all at once in blinding moments of uncharacteristic emotional outbursts.

but that's not a big deal. it's just how his power boosts work, he guesses? it's a saiyan thing, probably!

don't worry about it. it's all okay. none of it was that bad.

he's just a guy!

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

i love reading your fic thoughts!!

are there any fics you'd recommend or read where you like the way they are characterized? i'm a writer and hope i accurately represent them but i'm never sure, but it's fun to see you doing similar things (going over voice lines and scenes to get their voice down and stuff)

and i think inspiration can help!

hiya! ahh thank you so much, i'm glad you found them interesting! and i perfectly understand your struggle :( it's a ritual at this point to watch their interactions so i can get a feel of them for ongoing fics, i'm considering rewatching a parade of providence at some point as a treat <3

and !! i agree! the fanfiction community is a circle of never ending ideas, so it's amazing how we all inspire each other! for characterisation here are some that stand out to me in my mind <3

Patron of the Arts - nevergreengale, volansvultar - ongoing and (hopefully not) discontinued, but a really interesting take in alhaitham asking kaveh to be his architect for him to move in! kaveh's inner monologue is just him, i especially love his musings about altruism, and the rift between him and alhaitham. a nice mystery going on with whatever is occupying alhaitham as well!

Strawberry High - etherealnara - this IS the drunk alhaitham fic for me, i love seeing him interact with inazuma characters, as well as being competitive. the dynamic between alhaitham and kaveh here is sighworthy, you can really feel the strain towards the end!

The City of Gold and Dust - Amayax - ongoing. pov switch with each chapter, mishaps with time and a really intriguing mystery! both voices truly shine here, i particularly love the prose of alhaitham dealing with grief, and how you can feel how much kaveh means to him, whereas kaveh can feel the burden of missing something obvious, but not knowing what. the contrast is lovely!

(self-recommendation) Change is Imp(ur)rative - completed. mentioning this because this is my fav piece of work i've done for them so far! really hoping the characterisation works, this is a slowbuild into the progression of their relationship, i'm a sucker for them actually talking and what them airing their grievances could look like <3

Old Habits, New Beginnings - thvndaga - completed. amnesiac alhaitham. this is such a lovely lovely fic with alhaitham entirely forgetting himself, but knowing that he's in love with kaveh, but kaveh refusing to believe it? very addictive to read and an incredible journey!

in the market for forgiveness - chaoticloutral - this is so cute, the rising tension over the mundane, the major misunderstanding based around (1) interaction. kaveh's perspective is perfectly rationalised, and alhaitham dogging after him to explain himself! also the atmosphere here! lovely!

best of r/relationship_advice - farozaan - completed. reddit style fic, this is HILARIOUS! kaveh coming to terms with his feelings about alhaitham (but really knowing all along) and alhaitham's quiet patinece is just so ahhh it's them <3

When Sun and Moon Align - Undercover_Owl - ongoing. a time travel fic with kaveh being flung back into his days as a student, attempting to fix his vision with his inquisitive best friend/junior alhaitham, all the while alhaitham is struggling to adjust to kaveh's disappearance in present day. LOVELY! the mystery and prose are enticing, and kaveh's shifting understanding of current alhaitham is so scrummy!

To Dream in Shades of Green - Intensely_Reading - completed. this is such an addictive fic, with kaveh being involved in an experiment (courtesy of yae miko) where his dreams become light novels, only for his dream to take the form of an otome game! so fun and the development between dream alhaitham and kaveh, with him comparing this relationship to real alhaitham is so well done! and real alhaitham going about to locate the cause of kaveh's anxiety is so real <3

six ways to friday - mousiekosmos - completed. this fic is INSANE. the prose is so lovely and alhaitham's perspective makes me want to eat my hand. so rational and logical and yet completely overthinking when it comes to matters concerning kaveh. the hesitance and misunderstanding in their initial relationship is so gutwrenching, and kaveh being the one to chase it !!! i thoroughly recommend

bad days, good days - emigmatic - a wonderful oneshot, kaveh's voice really shines through here, the uncertainties and his anxieties and tiptoeing around alhaitham, while alhaitham is so patient, just MWAH.

flower of my flower - bringingglory - completed. hanahaki alhaitham time. the mounting struggle of alhaitham's rationale in not telling kaveh and seeing kaveh worry from the side culminates perfectly! a very addictive read!

Briars and Roses 'Round Your Heart - sonotfine - completed. hanahaki kaveh time. one of my fav hanahaki aus! i love love the tension building from alhaitham's side as kaveh tries to downplay the progression of his sickness. the confrontation scene lives in my head, the suspense culminates perfectly!

[audriel]

Ye Xiu's Smoking Habits

Ye Xiu is definitely an interesting character and protagonist. However, compared to most protagonists I found him the hardest to read, and at times I am unsure of his characterization, especially when I write him in my stories. One of the most notable trait he has is that he smokes, a lot. Even if the character design changes (which you cannot believe how often it happens, TKA has the most variety, and not limited to one media too, i kid you not). This is one trait that makes him easily recognizable, packed together with his sleazy look and side-parted bangs (im laughing as i write this down). Since smoking is part of his personality, it can be used a way to understand him better. Here's what I found after going through all the mentions of smoke and cigarette in the webnovel (please note that i might miss or not include some).

Ye Xiu cannot smoke on less cigarette, otherwise his head will hurt (Ch9)

Ye Xiu smokes when he wants to maintain his focus, particularly when pulling an all-nighter or using multiple accounts (Ch10, Ch55, Ch87, Ch290, Ch431, Ch530)

Ye Xiu always smokes right after he wakes up (Ch22, Ch30)

Ye Xiu smokes when he's thinking (Ch34, Ch71) or working (Ch55) or relaxing/calming down (Ch57, Ch529, Ch637), or winding down after winning the championship (Ch1726)

Ye Xiu prioritises smoking over eating (only two meals a day), saving money for cigarettes (Ch47)

Ye Xiu's smoke addiction is quite heavy that it's instinctive for him to reach for cigarettes in any kind of situation (Ch55, Ch57, Ch94)

Ye Xiu was also struggling in the crowd. With great effort, he was able to free one hand. And inside his hand was shockingly a cigarette!!! “You’re going to smoke at this time!!!” Chen Guo saw Ye Xiu deliver the cigarette into his mouth and turned furious! What was this guy. -Ch94

Ye Xiu's smoke addiction is still better/less worse than Wei Chen (Ch617). He can consciously kills the urge if it's not allowed (Ch101, Ch1084)

Their seats were already fixed. Ye Xiu and Wei Chen were placed right underneath the strong ventilation fan. Chen Guo already regarded them as smoke machines. -Ch618

Ye Xiu can blow smoke rings (Ch179)

Ye Xiu smokes in front of Su Mucheng (Ch331), besides fellow smokers: Wei Chen and Chu Yunxiu

Ye Xiu and Wei Chen give each other cigarettes when one thinks the other needs it (Ch640, Ch693, Ch769, Ch967) He does the same with Chu Yunxiu (Ch1347)

Ye Xiu smokes so often that it's become part of his image even for common people (Ch1011)

The mysterious God Ye Qiu, who never appeared in public, wasn't as arrogant as most people thought he was. Everyday, with a cigarette in his mouth and smoke circling around him, he chatted with everyone at Club Excellent Era. -Ch1011

Ye Xiu smokes when he doesn't know what else to do in social settings, either to break the ice (Ch926) or to keep people away (Ch933)

He wasn’t shy with strangers at all. It even seemed like he was the host: "Have a seat, everyone. Why are you all standing!" Everyone sat down. Ye Xiu impatiently fished out a cigarette. He didn’t forget to ask if anyone else wanted one, but the five Heavenly Swords people waved their hands and refused. Ye Xiu didn’t ask if they didn’t want to smoke or if they didn’t know how. In any case, he grabbed a cigarette and tossed the cigarette pack onto the table: "If you guys want one, feel free to take one!" Then, he quickly started lighting up his cigarette. -Ch926 As for Ye Xiu and Tang Rou, the two stayed curled in a corner. Tang Rou had casually taken a glass of wine to sip at while Ye Xiu held a very deep ashtray, going through cigarette after cigarette and filling the air around them with smoke. Tang Rou was a radiant-looking lady, yet no one had come up to talk to her, all thanks to Ye Xiu. -Ch933

Ye Xiu smokes when he wants to suppress/hide his emotions (Ch23, Ch91, Ch96, Ch1361), particularly when he feels sad and/or helpless (Ch500, Ch620)

His back against the wall, he fished out a cigarette and lit it. “What are you doing? Are you going to cry too? Do you need some paper?” Behind him, Chen Guo seemed to sense it. “How could it be? How could I cry?” Ye Xiu turned his body and conveniently puffed out a mouthful of smoke towards Chen Guo’s face -Ch23 In the third round of the individual competition, Team Excellent Era lost again. The spectators in the Internet Cafe began to look sinister. Everyone felt extremely terrible in their hearts. Some cursed at 301, some sighed in disappointment at Team Excellent Era. Chen Guo wasn’t feeling good either. She didn’t know when, but looking to the side she saw that Ye Xiu had already left her side and stood outside the door to smoke. The cigarette butt glowed brightly in the dusky night, but the person’s expression was indistinct. -Ch91 Liu Hao was about to argue when Ye Xiu dully said: “Don’t be so noisy. You guys are also public figures. If you keep on being noisy, then you guys won’t look good.” After saying this, Ye Xiu quietly took out a cigarette from his pocked, lit it, and put it in his mouth. -Ch96

You….” Chen Guo noticed that Ye Xiu’s expression was odd even after achieving victory. Happiness? None at all. He even seemed a little sad….. Sad? Chen Guo shook her head. She must be seeing things, how could he be sad? As she was about to say something, Ye Xiu stood up abruptly, “I’m going out for a smoke.” -Ch500 "Excellent Era getting relegated is my fault.” Ye Xiu expressed with sorrow. He didn’t wait for Chen Guo to refute and immediately continued: “But how would I have known that wiping them out in game would turn out like this? No one would have imagined that such actions would have so severe a consequence? But you can’t deny their current record either. They’re still young. They still have chances. They shouldn’t give up so easily. I don’t know what they plan on doing in the future. Too much has been happening recently. I want to be by myself for a bit. If you don’t need me for anything, I’ll be leaving.” Ye Xiu took out a cigarette after speaking. -Ch620 “Who cares about that,” Chen Guo huffed. “I’m asking you about your feelings on Excellent Era’s return.” Ye Xiu felt out a cigarette, lit it, took a deep breath and nodded. “Pretty good.” -Ch1361

Also, for those with sharp eyes will notice that there's a significant decrease in the mention of smoking after chapter 1000+, matching the start of Professional League/GPA. This rather supports how serious (i remember using the word uncompromising, unyielding) Ye Xiu is when it comes to aiming for the championship (victory in general). Ye Xiu maintains his condition meticulously, going so far as reducing his cigarette intake, when he's a heavy smoker.

However, the most interesting discovery is that smoking is more than a habit for Ye Xiu, in some ways, it's a tool or a method(?) for him to keep him unreadable, to deal with his emotions, to hide his weakness. It's oft mentioned throughout the webnovel how difficult is to read Ye Xiu's expression, he rarely shows strong emotion. I don't think it's his natural disposition, but an ingrained habit either from his family upbringing or him raising himself and the Su siblings together while also leading a team. And when he goes out to smoke to deal with his feelings (as per the examples above), he tends to smoke alone. There's no mention of him having company when he does so. It leads me to conclude that for whatever reasons Ye Xiu believes emotions are not to be shown openly and to be dealt with alone.

This explains a lot really, why such conflict arises in Excellent Era. Ye Xiu remains unchanged throughout the years in his pursuit of victory and love and passion for Glory. However, people around him change, either they leave or their values differ. Ye Xiu with his skills and achievements, combined with his uncompromising attitude and unreadable expression, he becomes a distant, incomprehensible figure. It becomes easy to project their own feelings to him.

This is particularly highlighted when Excellent Era has an emergency meeting due to Ye Xiu for coming forward/no longer shying away from media attention. They all are afraid of what Ye Xiu will do, because they're putting themselves in Ye Xiu's shoes, and knowing what they've done, he has no reason to be kind. When in reality, Ye Xiu doesn't really care. He accepts the failure on his part. In the end, he treats his former club just like any other opponent, by letting action speak for itself. And they completely fail to understand this, their own God, their own captain for many years, which makes it so sad and tragic, because they never sees him as the person that he is.

[eriexplosion]

5 6 7 10 for Star Wars violence 👀

OKAY TIME FOR THE VIOLENCE (I don't know how actually violent these opinions are but pretend I am Very Vicious)

5. Worst blorboficiation?

sdfsdifj REGRETTABLY... OBI-WAN.... I love the man but fandom characterizations definitely show some Popular Guy Character Syndrome where it's all about how sad and tormented he is and while I respect that as a lover of tormented men, it is certainly an experience when you're like, reading a CodyWan fic and Cody is comforting Obi-Wan through his tragic past like he's never gone through anything difficult in his life. Also some of Obi-Wan's fun edges are sanded off, he's more generically sassy but considerate of others feelings and kind, etc, and like. He's not UNkind. But this is a man that faked his death and did not tell his emotionally unstable best friend like that was going to do anything but drive Anakin absolutely batshit insane. He watched like ten clones in a row die without a reaction and then the instant a Jedi died they all had to stop for a funeral. He tried to get Luke to kill Vader WITHOUT telling him who he was. He's kind of an idiot and can be kind of an asshole. Let him hurt people's feelings! Let him be socially inept! He is a dipshit not a harmless weep blob!

(This ties in with my desire to see CodyWan fic where they straight up get in a fight but is not ENTIRELY connected to that)

6. Opinion on canon and/or fanon use of the secret child trope? Discuss.

It works for Luke and Leia and I think it should have stayed at that. I'm not a big fan of the Palpatine reveal for Rey but I didn't want her to be a Skywalker either, sometimes you want a main that is Just Some Guy, doesn't need to be a secret child of anyone. In fanon I just REALLY do not like it, partially because it's plugging in a blood relation where it doesn't need to be. The other part is that I have mostly seen it for Obi-Wan and Satine with that Korkie kid and with how utterly repressed those two are at each other I refuse to believe they ever successfully fucked.

7. What is the weakest piece of canon writing?

It feels like cheating to say the sequel trilogy mostly because I never finished it so a thing that I definitely finished and loved but makes no sense - AOC is not the strongest movie but ROTS was like, fully just a series of cool scenes stitched together to approximate a movie. And don't get me wrong, I adore the prequels. But the only one that I think succeeds as a Movie is TPM. ANAKIN'S FALL ESPECIALLY IS NONSENSICAL AS SHIT. Like the underlying motivations are there but they were not pieced into anything resembling a coherent narrative. You have a start point, an end point, and everything in between just kind of jumps around with I think the weakest point being the Tusken Massacre - it's treated more like a sign of Anakin's potential darkness than anything when like. That's a whole village. He killed a whole village and it never comes up again! Lucas apparently didn't consider it that big a deal!

It's to a point where I actually think the massacre can't be addressed from a fully in universe perspective, because there's no actual way to twist it around so that it makes sense for that not to be enough to Make Anakin Fall without breaking the already very loose rules of the universe. Most other Star Wars points I can figure out some kind of justification for how it works in world, but to explain how Anakin wouldn't fall here you just have to kind of confront that Lucas is both not a very good writer and also approached the Tuskens with an incredibly racist viewpoint given that he doesn't appear to see their deaths as fully Counting, unlike the Jedi younglings in ROTS. It's a plot choice that, if treated with the full weight it would narratively deserve, completely unravels the entire rest of the series, the only way to make the storyline of everything else WORK is to take it out or change it so much as to be an entirely different scenario, and I can't think of any other things that fuck it up THAT bad.

10. What’s a ship you've unwillingly come around to?

I think 'unwillingly' is overstating it (but then I rarely DISLIKE a ship, so there's usually not much Unwillingly about it) but I thought Tech/Phee was cute at most until everyone started being Like That about them. Now I want them to kiss and get married onscreen. I hope that she hits that every night. Phee deserves whatever she wants.

Also Anakin/Padme probably counts because I did not actually go into the clone wars watch WANTING to love Anakin but Whoops. WHOOPS. So that meant I got An Affection for the two of them in all their messy stupid as shit glory.

[positivlyfocused]

What Happens When People Speak Truth About The Bible

The Bible. It’s a book. It has inspired a lot of hatred and killing…ironically. But it also has inspired and does inspire a lot of love.

And this is the point of physical reality: We see what we train ourselves to see. Furthermore, once we’ve trained ourselves, it’s very hard to see anything else. That’s definitely the case when it comes to the reality that is the Bible.

But we can choose what we see. Even after our “seeing” rigidifies. Whatever we choose to see shapes what we see. It also prevents us from seeing anything else.

This past week, I wrote a story about a documentary. The documentary moved me. That’s why I wrote the story. The film told of a distortion in the Bible, a mistranslation made in the Revised Standard Version (RSV). The documentary is powerful. My characterization of it in my blog echoed that power. It also asserted that while this mistranslation was not malicious, it still created tremendous suffering, and does so even today.

Some things change. Others remain the same.

That previous story ranks as one of my most popular. In this story, I look at some responses people made to that story. The responses show exactly what you’ve just read: Our world springs from our beliefs. And the more we hold to those beliefs, the less open we are to seeing the world differently. Which suggests we should be very careful about what beliefs we adopt, doesn’t it?

There is no one “truth”

Some responders thought my story was about me trying to change people’s world view, especially Christian people. Perhaps that’s why a few commenters pushed back rather hard, calling my supposed attempt to change people’s minds “ridiculous”. One person even advised I “get on my knees” and ask “God to show you what is truth”.

Little do these people know, I once was a fundamentalist Christian. I belonged to no church, but I carried my Bible everywhere and believed Jesus was my personal savior. That was my truth at that time.

Today, however, after navigating through many “truths”, I’ve come to my own thinking on spiritual matters, as well as “truth”. A direct, personal, private conversation with Infinite Intelligence supported that navigation, which is primarily responsible for my client work today as well as the Positively Focused Practice or Way.

Since I’ve walked this path, I see that word “truth” brings a lot of danger if it’s misunderstood. No “One Truth” exists. Thinking that way gets people into a lot of trouble. One only need look around to see that. Whether in politics, religion, families or love, people who think they know the truth, while also thinking others don’t, sow the seeds of conflict.

There is no one truth. Any belief anyone holds will become “truth” FOR THAT PERSON. That’s why people do really outrageous things, like blowing themselves up as an expression of religious truth, or shooting up a pizza restaurant while believing something truly nefarious goes on behind the pizza ovens.

In fact, for every point of consciousness there exists an infinite number of truths. Which truth is true? All of them are, for that point of consciousness holding them. What we believe creates reality. Reality becomes truth, but only truth for those holding beliefs which gave rise to the reality. When it comes to the Bible, a lot of people believe they have the truth.

Make truth non-threatening

Of course, holding our intimate truths born of our beliefs is harmless to others. That is, until we believe our truths compel us to push them onto others. That’s when trouble starts. And unfortunately for many Christians following what they think the Bible teaches, those people believe their job is making others adopt what they believe is the truth.

On a walk the other day, I came across a group of very young women. They offered people passing by Italian sodas. When they offered me one, I declined.

Then I changed my mind. My soda came with a Christian flyer. I refused the flyer, not because I disliked the message, but because I didn’t want to carry a piece of paper. One I’d later probably throw away.

Instead of accepting the flyer, I invited any of the young women to give me the 30-second Christian pitch. One person did, and boy, she knew her truth. She ticked all the boxes: original sin, saved by the blood of Jesus, etc. But not once did she offer anything relevant to me. Not once did she ask me any questions to make her pitch relevant. What is the saying? “Know your customer”. She was utterly clueless.

Which brings me to a comment on my story last week. This one was brilliant. The person writing told a great story about his experience with a conservative pastor on the subject of evangelizing:

The point is, if we think our truth matters more than others’ (they don’t, but whatever) it makes sense to offer our truth in non-threatening ways or in a way that resonates with the listener. I don’t fault the young ladies for their naiveté. They are young. They have very little life experience.

I don’t even fault commenters who asserted the documentary, 1946, was inaccurate, even without having watched it. Or people who think I need to get on my knees and ask god for the truth. Our truths are powerful. As I wrote above, our truths will not allow anything other than what we believe “in”.

That’s why I didn’t write the story to change anyone’s mind. The story was about a film that moved me.

It’s all good

Several commenters wrote in support of what they thought was the purpose of the story. I believe they thought it was about condemning the Bible, Christianity and, more generally, religion. I appreciate their support.

That’s not what the story was about though. It was about a documentary that moved me. A documentary that fleshed out something I didn’t know before. The documentary moved me because I am queer. When I was a Christian, I didn’t believe the crap from churches that I was condemned to hell. I knew better. I also knew the Bible was a book written by man and subjected over time to a ton of interpretation.

Therefore misinterpretations must exist in the book, I thought. That this documentary came along confirming my thoughts, I saw as a manifestation of a long-held knowing. That’s why I wrote the story. I felt moved.

I don’t dislike or hate Christians. Nor do I dislike or hate religion. Religion, like science, is based on beliefs. Beliefs create our realities. So, therefore, what’s to dislike or hate? Instead, I revel in the variety of life experience. That phenomena gives rise to enormous diversity, something I call “expansion”. And all of it is good.

And isn’t that what the Bible says god said when “he” created the world? It was all good. Indeed.

Which brings me to one particular comment that struck me. It was so complete, clear and on the mark. The details the writer, Tom Gough, expressed moved me as much as the documentary did. I want to conclude with it because it sums up a lot of what the documentary said, yet, didn’t explicitly say.

Followers of Paul, not Jesus

Tom responded by affirming that mistranslation exists in the RSV, then he continues:

“This was the RSV which, problematically, is a translation depended upon by Liberal Christians and loathed by Evangelicals. The texts in question should never have been translated as homosexual, (which is a term of identity rather than a specific activity), but -arsenokoites- is a word of Paul’s own construction that literally means “Male Beds” and has historically been translated as “Men having sex with men.” Paul also used the word -malakos- which means soft or effeminate and, again historically, has been used to imply a catamite or other male receiver of male sexual attention.” “So, while it would be nice to imagine that all the anti-gay rhetoric coming out of the various church institutions is a matter of unfortunate translation, it isn’t. Paul was never a Pharisee but a gentile who attached himself to the Sadducee’s High Priest , and thus devoted to ritual and sexual purity. More than that, Paul is a homophobe. He is also an erotophobe who finds every form of sexual expression to be icky and only tolerates sex in its absolutely least offensive form in marriage. “You may have a child together, but otherwise do not touch yourself or anyone else ever.” Paul clearly has issues. He is also not Jesus. Jesus never said bupkiss about gay folk, and in fact appears to have a much more expansive and inclusive attitude toward the variety of sex and gender expression than the culture in which he lived (Matthew 19:12 for example). It is pointless to try and rescue Paul from his own pathology. The real question (apart from why believe any of it?) is why Evangelicals, and other Christian Authoritarian institutions, so clearly prefer to follow Paul rather than Jesus. It’s because they are themselves, by nature, Sadducees seeking wealth and oppressive power, just like Paul – and because Jesus asks too much tolerance, compassion, and love from his followers, while Paul gives his a broad and vicious invitation to prejudice in the the name of purity.”

Still holding out hope

That last paragraph is spot-on in my opinion. It’s pointless trying to change anyone’s mind, until they’re willing to have their mind changed. Changing people’s minds, therefore, was the farthest thing from my intent in writing last week’s story. Evangelicals and other Christian Authoritarians ARE following Paul instead of Jesus. They are sycophants lusting after as much power as they can get. That’s antithetical to what Jesus offered.

Which explains why some of the most vocal, political Christian leaders do not offer messages of tolerance, compassion and love. Especially towards gay and trans people.

But I don’t think these people hate gay and trans people. I think, actually, that they don’t care at all about them. What they care about: amassing power, wealth and the attention of religious sycophants. Their focus on gays and trans people will end, as soon as they realize the religious sycophant tires of that as a polarizing issue. 

And tire they will. Because consciousness doesn’t like staying in one place. Anyone who has ever tried meditating knows this (LOL). So, in time, these people will all move on to another group. And the world will be better for it. The LGBTQ world at least.

In the meantime, I still hold out hope for more Christians to realize their main text contains distortions. It’s also full of divine wisdom. And so I also hold hope that more Christians will learn to discern the latter from the former. When they do, the world will be better off.

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.

Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?

I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.

This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.

Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?

(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative. 

It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?

SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).

BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.

Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....

None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?

Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.

I mean?!?!

And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....

And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?

Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?

Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?

Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.

And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -

(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)

- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?

We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?

Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.

Is that how that went down?

You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?

The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?

Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?

Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?

Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....

They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!

Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?

afshklfhalfhalfhla

Make it make sense!

And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT.

The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.

Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....

THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.

Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...

The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....

That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.

Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....

And you chose not to.

That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.

For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.

And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....

You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).

And its just like, uh, what's up with that?

[shititbe]

Anyway, HSM2 is about internalized homophobia, and no one can tell me otherwise.

High School Musical is one of the most beloved franchises in the world. Teenagers all over the world grew up watching Troy and Gabriella harmonize together. Three movies, and nearly a decade later it’s still beloved by all. The first film easily forgotten in the ashes of the early 2000’s, the third film stuck in a purgatorial limbo of the rather unfortunate late 2000’s. The second film on the other hand sticks out between the ruckus. 

The second High School Musical film takes place at Sharpay and Ryan’s family country club, during the summer between junior and senior year. The Wildcats are working summer jobs on the country club, often forced to the beck and call of Ryan and Sharpay themselves. Sharpay uses all her prestige to help Troy with college instead of starting at the bottom ( or rather, in the kitchen washing dishes) with his friends. In the time she’s helping Troy, she is also pushing her brother away; replacing him with Troy in their musical number for the talent show, and refusing to hang out with him in preference for Troy. Ryan becomes vengeful to his twin and starts hanging around the Wildcats in the kitchen. At first, he was met with some distasteful looks and words (most of which from Chad). With the help of Kelsey, and her neutral party, Ryan fits in smoothly with the other teenagers, eventually giving the WildCats all dance lessons.

 Throughout the movie, the main conflict continues to be the internal conflict of Troy Bolton. He debates over and over again if he should go through with Sharpay’s shenanigans, or if he wants to “listen to my own heart.”  This of course involves Gabriella, as she is Troy’s love interest. She’s not in the second film except for the beginning, then, where she leaves in the middle of the film - in order to create angst for Troy - then when she shows up again in the finally to sing/rejoin Troy. 

The conflict in the second film  is the combining of Troy’s two worlds. His first - his main world in the first movie, that hence became his secondary world - which is represented by Chad. Then his secondary world - which becomes his main world in this movie - which is represented by Ryan. Chad represents Troy’s masculinity, or his more idealized version of himself. Ryan represents Troy’s femininity or his current version of reality. These two worlds collide in the iconic song “I don’t dance”.  

Since this movie - and hence this scene - came out in the early 2000’s, a lot of the innuendoes went over people's heads. Luckily, as the children who watched this movie grew older and more experienced, and the world became more accepting, we’re able to see this song for what it is. 

Before getting into the lore and symbolism of the iconic “I Don’t Dance” sequence, context is needed. For most of human history, homosexuality was seen as a sin in all places except ancient times (see: Greece and Japan). The modern age is the most accepting on all fronts, such as sexual orientation, race, and religion. In the early 2000’s, High School Musical director Kenny Ortega was not publicialy out yet. He wouldn’t be till 2014. 

Originally, while writing this, my first thought was  that Kenny - the director - would be using Troy as a y/n type character to project his insecurities and struggles with masculinity, and what that means in defining his orientation and societal views that would be placed upon him. Then, it came to me later that this is in fact not the case, Troy (and Gabriella - who is in fact a y/n character for the female audience) is more of a character for a man of his time, confused with his own ideals of masculinity and the views of society because, “oh god, I can’t like theater/drama because only queer people and girls like it!” The second point is pushed further with the Troy and Sharpay sub-plot. Sharpay tries to further Troy’s career as a basketball player, though that’s not what he wants anymore, and Troy is no longer sure if that is what he ever wanted to begin with (enter the song “Bet on it” and the hilarious meme “no dad, I’m giving up on your dream”). 

Keeping these things in mind - Kenney’s queerness, and Troy’s struggle to realize you can in fact sing and be a heterosexual, wow, revolutionary - it became clear to me that Kenney’s y/n characters were Ryan and Chad. 

For those who aren’t into the arts, or find them too difficult after a singular attempt thinking they could write a world class novel on the first go, let me be the first to tell you every author has a y/n character. First, for those who don’t know what y/n stands for, it’s a popular fanfiction trope where a writer will write a story about a character dating, being friends, and so on, with the reader. The y/n stands for “your name” so anyone can be the main character in this story at any time. For a writer of mainstream fictional work, such as High School Musical, Game Of Thrones, Lord Of The Rings, Pride and Prejudice, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, even most comics. Now, most writers or directors aren’t going to be as obvious as having a character not named (or named y/n) or even named Jane (looking at you Jane Austin), the y/n character of many mainstream authors/directors/comic artists and so on is usually the character they feel or have given the most attributes similar to themselves. 

It’s the same reason people have favourite characters. You see a fictional character and you either 1. Want to Bob the Builder them, 2. Some sort of weird sex thing, or 3. See more/the most of yourself in this character. Number three - thankfully - is usually the main reason. Some people just create their own favourite characters. An even easier way to think about this, is just projection baby, that’s psych 101.   

Before I went off on a small tangent of fictional works and how human emotion plays into creating them (except anything Disney has made in the past decade, and no you can’t change my mind on that) I mentioned that Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s y/n characters. As a queer person myself, it’s clear for me to see the different struggles each of these characters face and how these reflect the queer experience. 

So, let’s finally get into it. 

Ryan, without it being explicitly said is clearly a character of what people in the early 2000s think a gay man is. He is effeminate, wearing bright coloured outfits with lots of accessories - namely his signature hats - he is also in the theater department doing musicals, and passive/subservient to any of his twin sisters' wills. Yes, now we know gay men aren’t just feminized men, but in the early 2000’s a gay man who can do "masculine" things like change their car oil, like sports, and so on, break the "effeminate" stereotype thus confused many cishet people. Sharpay is painted as more confident - or, for sake of comparability - masculine to her twin in the first movie, and most of the second movie. Making Ryan a bit of her dog who would do anything to get by - painting Ryan as lesser than human, once more, playing into the homophobia of the early 2000's.     

Despite the clear stereotypes playing into his character, Ryan is consistently one of the most confident characters in the movie. The other, being his sister of course. This confidence in himself is what gravitates the other characters towards him, either by being intimidated (Troy, thinking Ryan and Gabriella were a thing), or admiration (Chad, by the end of “I don’t dance”). 

Chad, on the other hand, is a whole different ball game. While he is confident in the first movie, and the first portion of the second movie, he begins to break more and more when Ryan becomes a more integral part of the Wildcat group. To keep in mind, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste for Troy’s artistic past-time. When the other Wildcats join Ryan and begin learning how to dance for the talent show at the end of the movie, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste. The baseball game where “I don’t dance” takes place, is the climax of Chad’s arc and his turn towards acceptance to Ryan/Troy’s hobbies. 

Of course, there is more to the “I don’t dance” sequence than just Chad’s realization - the exact one Troy comes to terms with in the second movie as well - of “oh my god I don’t have to be gay to enjoy stereotypical ‘feminine’ things.” That is the main part of the song though, that and all the sexual tension. 

Going back to what I’ve stated previously, Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s projection or y/n characters. Let me do a small recap before we get into the nitty gritty of the famous “I don’t dance” video. 

Thinking back to the first few paragraphs, I stated that Kenney wasn’t publicly out till 2014, about 7 years after the second movie came out. This could be due to the fact that a) it’s the early 2000’s and everyones still very homophobic, or b) self-doubt that comes with the queer experience. The most likely reason is a mixture of both of these. Because of this, Ryan is the more self-assured version, or idealized version of Kenney that he wants to be. Ryan is confident, never being swayed about his lifestyle (could be read as: sexuality) even though Chad - and most of the wildcats in the first movie - put him through relentless “teasing” and humiliation. He’s confident, almost to a fault, he’s sure of himself, and yet still reaches out a hand to Chad and the other wildcats to show them that they’re just being, kinda dick-ish. 

Every queer person wants to be Ryan. Despite his heavily stereotyped characterization, I personally believe he is one of the stronger written characters in the movies, mainly due to Kenney putting the time in to really make Ryan feel like a real person, to give himself some sort of relief of his own anxieties, a chance to see the world through a person who truly has no fear. Unlike Kenney himself. 

This is where Chad comes in. 

Chad is seen as “confident” in the first movie, the second Troy “leaves” basketball though, all that confidence comes crashing down. His best friend has another hobby - one he thinks is “not right” (it’s okay, you can say gay), - they wont be spending all their time together (first, can you say dependent relationship much, yikes).Chad’s defining characteristic up until their fight that instigate act three of the second movie, is being Troy’s best friend. I’m going to take this as if this were truly the case, and not a decently written character arch. Some people base themselves around their friends and their whole identity on being a friend, that they lose sight of themselves, this mainly in high school of course, when your whole world is really nothing but school, and friends. Newly developed independence is there, but that’s scary, so instead of worrying about the future, cling to something that’s reliable. I’ve seen this happen, mainly at the end of high school, when the “real world” is coming a bit too close for comfort. This could generally be the case if a person is lonely, but for timeline sake I’m going to say Chad has got some anxiety about graduating (considering the second movie takes place the summer of junior year). 

His lashing out at Troy’s hobbies and at Troy’s neglectful friendship, make more sense with that background, and are seen more in the second movie where Troy begins spending all his spare time with Sharpay (trying to collect that BAG!). Chad - and others (read: father) - insists that music is not a feasible career option, and Troy should just stick with basketball (like...that is a feasible career option). The tension Chad creates in the studio only grows when the other wildcats decide to take up Ryan’s offer for dance lessons and move from the kitchen, to helping out with the talent show. (Next essay idea: how high school musical two was really about class all along, cause Jesus). 

 Chad is the less obvious option for a y/n character. Though again, the 2000’s were not as cool people like to pretend they are. Chad - for Kenney - represents what he actually feels, this fear of being rejected for how he is and how he chooses to live his life/lifestyle, so he sticks to something reliable. Ryan is new, and exciting, and confident in a way that Kenney/Chad wish they could be, but in order for that to happen they need to understand that maybe people are complex creatures, and can enjoy multiple hobbies (aka: the same lesson Troy is teaching the viewers, but far less boring). But, for Kenney/Chad facing that thought and that realization is scary, and thus, they lash out at anyone (read this paragraph as: Chad mad jealous of Ryan cause Ryan bomb as fuck). 

All this build up, finally comes ahead in the employee baseball match 

                                                       ******

The baseball game is probably the most memorable scene in the whole High School Musical franchise (minus Sharpay’s “Fabulous” solo, but that’s also from the same movie, and it’s kinda rude to give what’s already the best more points); the tension in the scene, and what it implies makes it the best written segment of all three movies, let alone the most entertaining. 

Some things to keep in mind from our background information: Chad is missing his bestie and struggling with what being “masculine” really means for him and others. Ryan of course makes this confusing, because the traditional method is being thrown out the window. In short, Chad has internalized homophobia, and Ryan being open - or as open as Disney would let him - is causing all sorts of problems. 

Despite the song, “I don’t dance” being logged into our collective skulls for all eternity (you’re probably humming it right now, sorry about that), the very brief interaction of Ryan and Chad before the game is lost on the public consciousness. The two are clearly comfortable with each other, though the distaste seems to be on Chad’s side more than Ryans. So, the two start playfully jabbing at each other before deciding to do a bat toss to see who will be in the outfield first. 

Before they begin the bat toss, Ryan says “You don’t think dancing takes some game?” Chad then very clearly checks him out, doing a simple but effective ‘drag-your-eyes-over-them-top-to-bottom-then-smile’ and says “you got game?” (Seen in gif below) 

I don’t know how much you know about sex metaphors and how many of those baseball has in it (seriously though, it’s a lot), but with the bat toss, Ryan’s hand ended up on top, and Chad’s under Ryan’s. Let’s ignore this for now, it’ll be implied again later. Ryan’s team starts out in the outfield because he won the bat toss, and hence, the song officially starts. 

The first lyrics (ignoring the chores of “hey batter batter, hey batter batter, swing”) is 

I'll show you that it's one and the same

Baseball, dancing, same game

It's easy

Step up to the place, start swingin  

This part is sung by Ryan, who is taunting Chad out in the outfield. Before the game, as stated, Chad was taunting Ryan about his lack of “game” (both sexual and not sexual metaphor are implied), and now, Ryan has turned those tables around. Baseball - is seen as more masculine than dancing, not as masculine as football or basketball, but it’s up there. Chad is someone who cares about his masculinity, enough to the point that Ryan playing baseball makes him loose his mind. Makes him question his own personal definition of masculinity, if you will. 

Ryan says, “baseball, dancing, same game,” impyling that, to him, baseball and dancing are one and the same. That is baffling to Chad, cause well, how can something meant for girls even be close to something meant for boys. 

Chad comes back with: 

 I wanna play ball now, and that's all

This is what I do

It ain't no dance that you can show me, yeah

This only proves my previous point. 

I had a conversation with myself about this, and I’ve decided not to include it in this essay, but a second essay may or may not be possible. Basically the premise - the dancing/”musical” moments of High School Musical are conjured up images by those meant to see them (ie: like a visual hallucination, but, not really) but this scene kinda poo-poos that idea. 

Now, the thing I am talking about is Ryan and Chad’s  peacocking at each other during the time they sing these lyrics. The movements they’re making could be mistaken for dancing - as we automatically assume it is because of the title and themes of the movie - or it could be them just getting ready for the baseball game. Ryan swings his leg over the pitcher's mound, tossing the ball up and down into his glove, making wavy hand gestures, etc. Chad brushes off his gloves, swings his legs, hits the bat on each foot, and so on. 

For the peacocking, Chad makes a mock of the ballerina foot stance before strutting over to the home plate. Ryan laughs at this, which earns quite the smirk from Chad himself (see gif below). 

This is when it becomes a conversation.   

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch

Come on - Ch

When Chad says “Come on” it’s when Ryan throws the baseball at him, starting the game, and giving Chad’s team their first strike of the game (get it, it’s funny). Now, obviously we need to talk about the “there’s just one little thing that stops me every time.” As a queer person, I assure you, two of the things that kept me from living my Best Life were 1) my own ignorance of what asexuality was and 2) the fear that everyone I love would hate me for who I am, and what I have no control over. 

Sorry to get deep like that on main, but, can any other queer person say different? Obviously, your first point may differ, but my point still stands. In the video/scene there is a very short moment (to which I have condensed into a gif for you all, you’re welcome, and I’m sorry about the quality in advance), of the camera moving over to Chad’s team (or his friends in this case since it’s an employee baseball game) as he says this line (gif below). 

I will not be explaining the use of subtly in this essay, but I’m sure you get the metaphor Kenney is trying to use. If not, let me spell it out for you in very simple words. This song has a lot of sexual innuendos (as mentioned pervious with the baseball bat scene and still, more to come), with that in mind, and clearly queer themes at play (as mentioned before, again), this scene only shows Chad isn’t as straight as he leads on. His fear/phobia of Ryan/the arts come from a much deeper place. 

In shorter, and much simpler terms: Chad queer. 

But, let’s get back to the boy's conversation. 

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R 

Not a chance, no - Ch 

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R 

Translation: “If I can do this weird, sweaty, dirty, Male thing without blowing a fuse, you can and should be able to dance just fine.” 

But I don't dance - Ch 

Hit it out of the park - Both 

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both

I don't dance, no - Ch  (This is just the chores, you’ll see it multiple times throughout the essay, I just figured if the song is going to be in your head, go all the way right). 

Two-steppin, now you're up to bat - R

Bases loaded, do your dance - R 

Here we are with the baseball metaphors you’ve all been waiting for ladies and gentlemen. Girls, gays, and non-binary pals. For those who have somehow managed a sheltered existence with access to the internet, lemme help you. Ryan is talking about “loaded bases” both in the context of the game (where it shows each base has one person from Chad’s team on them) and in the term of sex. While you go out there dating - while it’s mostly douche bags and people using it ironically - your nosey friends may ask you how far you got. 

“First, second, or third base?” They may ask. Or something like, “oh wow, did you get to home plate/base?” These are simply the rankings of the stages of a sexual relationship. First - kissing, sometimes just handholding, Second - making out, some light groping, Third - full on groping, no clothes come off, but it gets close. While each person has different boundaries, these are the general accepted definitions for the bases. 

Home base is obviously full blown sexual intercourse. Since Chad has his “bases loaded” it means he’s done all these things before, just never gone completely to sexual intercourse with someone - in the terms of the song and the history we’ve already established, it’s most likely a male character. This is only proven by Chad’s uncomfortable nature towards Ryan (internalized Homophobia, thank you, returning theme) but his easy, and cocky personality towards everyone else. “bUt thAt DoEsnT pRovE” hush, that’s the final cherry on top. Remember this conversation. 

It's easy - R  

Again. Previous points have been made.  

Take your best shot, just hit it - Ch 

I've got what it takes, playin my game - Ch

So you better spin that pitch - Ch 

You're gonna throw me, yeah - Ch 

I'll show you how I swing - Ch

Ah, the famous “I’ll show you how i swing” a very strong baseball metaphor for everyone. Keeps queer people from defining themselves to dangerous (straight) people, and, well, that’s it actually. This term is mostly used by bi/pan people, though if you want to stay in the closet or are in a dangerous place, it is also used to subtly tell other queer people you are in fact, not straight. My favourite is when this term came into play when President Buchanan got elected in 1856 (for those that don’t know, he’s the first and only gay president). 

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R 

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch 

This is again, the same lyric as before it doesn’t pan, and the tone is much different. The camera stays on Chad as he says this line, meaning he’s reflecting, he is now his own problem, the person that is keeping him back. His friends are not on his mind anymore, which is good, Ryan’s Gay Propaganda has been working. 

Come on - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R

Not a chance, no, no - Ch

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R

But I don't dance - Ch

Hit it out of the park - R

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh no - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both 

I don't dance, no - Ch

Lean back, tuck it in, take a chance - R

Swing it out, spin around, do the dance - R

I wanna play ball, not dance hall - Ch

I'm makin a triple, not a curtain cal - Chl

I can prove it to you til you know it's true - R

'Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too - R

You're talkin a lot, show me what you got - Ch

Again, like the beginning of this song, this is a heavy base for flirting and sexual tension, which this song is drowning in. 

Stop swinging - both

Hey - both

This is the part where they all start a flash mob in the middle of the baseball diamond. Again, alluding to the conversation I had to myself earlier, this only proves my own theory as no one takes notice of this. But, that’s not this essay, this is where I mention how close Chad and Ryan are at the end of the group dance.  

Come on, swing it like this - both

Oh, swing - both

Jitterbug, just like that - both

That's what I mean, that's how you swing - both

You make a good pitch but I don't believe - both 

Here is yet another (and the final) sexual innuendo. This is actually a rather quick one. Pitching in queer culture is considered the person who tops (because queer people even had to straight-ify their sex lives to “top” and “bottom”), this is the person who is giving, if you know what I’m saying. 

I say you can - R

I know I can't - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

You can do it - R

I don't dance, no - Ch 

 Here is where that mosh pit ends, and how they get a little too close to comfort. 

Nothing to it, atta boy, atta boy, yeah - both

The rest of this song is simply a mash-up of the baseball game being finished, and this lovely gem. 

Now, clearly, Chad’s self conscious nature towards his sexuality is gone, he’s sitting close - if not squishing - Ryan, and talking to him like they’ve been friends forever. Take note of the change of close, most likely due to all the tension at the end of the song, and maybe a little of Chad’s own natural human curiosity built in. Now, I leave you with this note: 

If there is anything that confirms all this more, its Chad’s girlfriend wearing the pride colours. 

Also note: this could also be seen as a friend helping his bro discover his sexuality and fighting internalized homophobia, but, that’s ignoring the sexual tension, so go off I guess. 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.  

Watch the full thing here

[rocksanddeadflowers]

So for starters, I'm fairly certain it's been said that Jonny (the character) completely made up the New Texas backstory? Like canonically. I'm not sure where that's stated though (in official fiction or otherwise) so if anyone reading does know, do share! While New Texas being a fake backstory is also an acceptable explanation for the lack of southern accent, and possibly the canonical one, I refuse to accept that :). Texan Jonny is something that could not be ripped from my cold dead claws so here's me thinking:

Most logically speaking, people lose/change/gain accents based on their surroundings. Long exposure to an entirely different accent with little to non of one's origin accent can easily switch it up. So we can easily say Jonny used to sound southern/texan, but staying with Carmilla so long changed that. Extra note: most people can still easily fall back into their original accent in the right circumstance! Say, just trying really hard for an album or accidentally visiting your hometown you hate :)

While the previous answer is fun, it doesn't feel narratively fulfilling considering characters like Nastya, who was the second to be mechanized I believe? With an almost consist heavy (Space) Russian accent... So what made Jonny lose his?

Maybe Jonny is faking it! Multi variables including but not limited to: 1) he hates being associated with New Texas in any way, hate reminders or the idea of being seen as New Texan. 2) less hatred and more embarrassment in some way? Again just not wanting to be associated with New Texas but also kinda like a defense mechanism to copy voices around him instead of using his own bc it's safer or something angsty (which could be why his voice acting is so versatile period!) 3) he just prefers the British accent for shows and recordings. He thinks it sounds better and saves the southern stuff for characters. The list goes on!

Anyway I think that's all I got but I really like Texan Jonny and characterizing him as overly southern (as a southerner who was raised in Texas lmao). There's probably other possibilities I didn't consider but. You know. It's the mechs. They never make sense

i've been thinking (shocking i know) and something just occurred to me

how does someone grow up on a planet called new texas, have a father with a texan accent and a strange father-figure-ish guy with a texan accent and end up with a voice like a fucking bbc narrator

[haik-choo]

Hi I read 'The Haikyuu Boys' Toxic Traits' and imo the characterization was just so accurate and a question popped up to me. So Akaashi's character is what I find to be one of the hardest to study on. When reading his fics there has been many times when I felt he was being too sweet or too cranky. Can you please elaborate on what might be some mischaracterization of Akaashi? I've thought of a couple of people to ask this question but I think you'd do it best.

a/n: i decided just to do some common mischaracterizations of him based on words! if you want me to do any other characters just tell me! 

[mischaracterizations of akaashi keiji] 

akaashi keiji. 

extremely stoic: he is not stoic, he’s reserved. he’s not shy, either, just quiet. he doesn’t speak unless he wants to add to the conversation. additionally, he will say what needs to be said. akaashi isn’t open with his emotions, not because he doesn’t want to burden others or he hides how he feels, but more so it’s just that no one really picks up on them. only people who are extremely emotionally intelligent (like bokuto) notice the little changes in how he acts. besides, he’s a passionate person, he’s just quiet about his passions. every once in a while he’ll have a surge of emotion, where everyone sees his eyes get set ablaze. it’s quite refreshing 

generous: personally, i don’t find akaashi to be someone who’s generous. he’s patient, that’s all. i find him the type to be self-centered, hence the refusal to tell you exactly how he’s feeling because he feels like you should pay enough attention to him to know. that said, he’s not selfish. there’s a difference in connotation here, selfish (to me) is being willing to take something from someone else because you want it; self-centered is if something is yours, it’s yours, and you’re not giving it up. i see akaashi as being self-centered because i think he’d be the type to care a lot about his job/career and he really wouldn’t care about those below him until he reaches his goal. even if you were a hard-working coworker, he’d leave you behind in a heartbeat for a higher position (note: he would never take the position from you, but what’s his is his)

careful: i believe that he’s a lot more impulsive than people give him credit for. that’s not to say he’s spontaneous and willing to drop everything for a poorly planned vacation to Greece, he’s not like that. but for a lot of big decisions in his life, people think he’s super analytical of what to do, but in the end, he bases it on how he feels in the moment. when he confesses to people, he’d have a plan, but then he’d throw it all out the window because he values authenticity. sometimes he blurts out things he doesn’t mean to say because he’s fed up with someone (like an annoying coworker). so yeah, he’s kinda messy (cmon he’s a sagittarius, he’s gotta be a little chaotic in some way) 

put-together: i don’t know how people see akaashi as put-together. he’s definitely got a messy personality and life: he ignores his one-night stands in public, he calls his boss a bitch over the intercom on accident (and he’s lucky they were out that day), he’s totally drunkenly made-out with a random guy in a bar, he’s still working on his paper that’s due in five minutes, etc. his aesthetic is productivity but homeboy is a procrastinator.

hopeless romantic: y’all clowning yourself for this. he’s romantic -- yes, but he’s not laying out a path of roses for you or writing a book full of things he loves about you on your one-month (or one-year anniversary). he values comfort in a relationship, for him the romance comes in domesticity, the ability to look like an absolute mess in front of you and you still kiss him like there’s no tomorrow. he needs a low-maintenance love, he doesn’t want to have to constantly take you out or impress you to keep you happy. he’s not neglectful, he still likes dates, but they don’t happen every week. he wants easy, calm, peaceful love that he can find comfort in naturally. this is why he wants his lover to easily read him, because that way effort put into the relationship if focused elsewhere rather than communication. ideally you’d also be a busy-body -- having mutual work days while you two lie on the sofa and drink coffee at 2 am is his secret guilty pleasure

overall, he definitely appears very professional and clean to others who don’t know him. but honestly, even his coworkers in his department know he’s a little messy, especially with his concerning amount of coffee cans in his trashcan, the hickey out in the open on the underside of his jaw, and his blood-shot eyes. he’s messy if you look close, but isn’t everyone? 

[felikatze]

give me the a brainworms i am deeply invested in this man

(0) (2) (3) (4)

okay first of all you asked for this. second of all if i am a little off track from the game that is explained by me just building thoughts like building blocks without looking back. third i was supposed to be studying for an exam but this counts as practice right? it's character analysis anyway lmao.

buckle the fuck up, my dearest anon, because I have sub headings.

1. A as the Player Character

Let me begin with why I am obsessed with this horrid little guy in the first place: he's a silent protagonist. I am always obsessed with protagonists. It's a law of nature. I love taking hollow characters and dissecting them for scraps. It's a long standing practice of mine.

Being a silent protagonist, A, as X, does not have a set personality. However, there are patterns. Firstly, as any semi-silent protagonist, A is a reactive character. He does not start incidents, he only responds to situations, presented by the Sephirah, as they arise. He does not actively seek out new information, merely going about the routine of expanding departments, but expresses curiosity when information is presented to him.

I'm aware fandom likes to characterize X and A differently, likely because they are initially presented as different characters. I, on the other hand, would like to pose the theory that they are more similar than expected.

I believe that A is also a reactive character, rather than active. Despite the fandom wiki describing him as stubborn, the goal A pursues with such fervor, the completion of the Seed of Light, is not actually a goal he set for himself. Carmen is the one who set this goal for him by leaving him her legacy.

Throughout the backstory we get relating to the Cogito Project, A is Carmen's assistant, whereas Carmen is the driving researcher. This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be; going with the flow of goals set for them by superiors. Yes I will get into his attachment to Carmen later.

The above is not to say A isn't stubborn. Once he has accepted a goal as his own, he will pursue it at all costs, as is obvious from any and all flashbacks leading to horrible deaths. But the point isn't his pursuit of the goal, but where that goal comes from. Even Lobcorp itself supports this, despite what Hokma may say; A as X follows the "simple" task of managing the Corp's day to day activities, and executes any mission given to him by the Sephirah. He outranks them, and doesn't actually need to do their missions, but does so anyway. Players are driven by the reward offered by those missions, of course, and A might be the same in that regard. Nonetheless, at no point in gameplay do you do anything somebody else hasn't told you to.

The overarching narrative of the Script would be the most obvious example. Every single person in the game follows the script, whether they know it or not.

Lastly on this note, a phrase we hear attributed to A, "Machines must behave as machines." Now, Angela may be attached to this phrase because it bears significance to herself as a machine, and informs most of A's unjust treatmeant of her. However, what if it doesn't just apply to machines? The phrase reads as such, "Everyone must act according to their own role."

2. A, Carmen, and the disease of the mind

So, A will at any cost pursue goals Carmen set for him. Question is, why? The obvious answer would be saying he's in love with her, which like, true. But also, how did Carmen come to be so precious to him?

Let us return to the comparison, "This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be." We don't really know why exactly most characters joined Carmen, excluding mainly Daniel and Benjamin. But this does not mean we can't have theories.

Carmen's ideal was curing the "disease of the mind." What is the disease? Complete hopelessness. The inability to form aspirations and dreams, to think of a better future. A is a very reactive character who does not set goals for himself. Therefore, I personally conclude, that initially, Carmen's ideology resonated with him because he could identify with the disease.

This is the point where I start rewatching Lobcorp story clips. Dear god.

So, by briefly binging day 27 onward, I've come up with lines that very much support this lil theory of mine:

First, from Carmen, a description of the disease, "People lock away their own potential."

Second, a line from Angela, after the memory synchronization, "You've locked yourself in this prison without bars."

Carmen describes A as humble, and Benjamin thinks he is warm. If I suppose A was one of the diseased initially, Carmen would be the catalyst for this change. Carmen was someone with big aspirations, with plans to heal what is wrong with the City, and it gave him hope. He was one of the diseased, but through time with Carmen, with that relentless optimistic spirit, he may have been cured, for a time. It's not a stretch to say that she was his light.

But lor shows us what happens when the seed of light sprouts wrong, doesn't it? It distorts. A grasped hope for the first time and then it is ruthlessly crushed. Carmen was everything. Yes, A is described as a jack-of-all-trades, as a genius in all pursuits he puts his mind to, but what does that matter in the face of someone who can unite people? Who can give them hope of a better world? Who can inspire them to actually use the talents they have?

And what kind of pressure is it to put the legacy of a messiah in the hands of the diseased?

3. A and the Perception Filter: A is weak to White damage

No, I am serious about that. He's extremely weak mentally. Obviously death of a loved one is a changing experience for absolutely anybody, but Carmen's death destroyed him.

Not only did he refuse to confide this grief to anyone and bottled it up, now everybody looked to him to lead the project, but he just isn't Carmen. He isn't an ambitious person, he doesn't have the same optimism, he can't bring people together, but people expected him to, and he failed. Hard.

While he was without a doubt talented in science, he was also just an average guy.

After her death, A grew to hate humans. He lost trust in them. He refused to confide in anyone, and be confided in by anyone. Thus, the team fell apart.

In both lobcorp and lor, we get interesting tidbits about precations taken to protect the manager.

Firstly, Lobcorp's perception filter. The cartoony art-style of the game is a result of the game being in first person. Through the eyes of the manager, everything is cartoony!

This is a measure undertaken to specifically protect the manager's psyche. Angela tells us that, before it was deployed, the manager would frequently go insane, one notable incident including the manager trying to hang himself. When we first hear this, the previous managers and X are still separate in our minds. However, they're all A! A went insane multiple times without it.

This is understandable, considering that employees also frequently go insane and try to kill both themselves and others. But they're there in action, confronting the Abnormalities directly. Just watching them made the manager go mad. They could not handle the responsibility for the employees' deaths.

In lor, Angela explains why she picked the Rabbit Team from R Corp as their main contractor instead of any other team. One team was simply too big for L Corp's narrow hallways, and the other team... dealt in psychic damage. It was simply too big of a risk for the manager. But the manager is always secure behind the cameras. Would that teams methods just be that brutal visually, or would their attacks have reached the manager?

Combined with his immense grief at all of his friends and coworkers dying in part because of him, A cannot bear to look at death.

4. A's greatest flaw: Avoidance

A common thread during Core Meltdown flashbacks: A refuses to look at suffering. He just can't. Whether it be looking away from Elijah writhing on the floor or hanging up on Daniel's panicked report of death.

This is actually the thing Angela takes the biggest issue with, and what hurt her most. A would never look at her, acknowledge her, and she did not understand why. But I think A did not refuse to look at her out of maliciousness. Rather, it was out of grief over Carmen. He could not look at her without being reminded of what he lost.

Angela's creation came about because A wanted someone to guide him, someone like Carmen. He threw himself into the project to the point it made Benjamin happy that A was passionate about anything again. But as soon as the project he distracted himself with is complete, he is filled with regret. Carmen cannot be replicated, and he breaks again.

Furthermore, tying this back to my first point about A being a reactive person, we see Angela take charge over A. She's the one recruiting employees and leading the business. It was likely a relief for him to be able to step down from the leading position.

But avoiding it made everything worse. He did not act when he saw Elijah's unchecked ambition, he did not act beyond a simple check at Gabriel's decay, he gave Giovanni the same hope he clung to to no avail, et cetera et cetera.

Avoiding his problems is making them worse and sending everything down the drain (including his psyche), so he deals with it the only way he knows how, avoiding them more!

Biggest example of A's big avoidance problem as his psyche crumbles: the memory wipe. A, in perhaps his one singular moment of acknowledging his emotions, recognizes that he is incapable of fulfilling the Script in his current state. His grief is just too much.

By erasing his own memory, he could start fresh without his grief, because he might've really killed himself otherwise. His suffering became bigger and bigger, and he coped by avoiding it.

The memory wipe allowed him to distangle his problems. Through his interactions with the Sephirah (which I will not individually detail for the sake of my sanity and because I dumped all this on a friend on discord already), he can deal with and actually process his issues one at a time.

As the motto describes, only by facing the fear can he build the future. Only by finally facing his grief and acknowleding it, seeing that the past cannot be changed and he has no choice to move forward, can he actually do so.

5. The Sephirah as ghosts

Lobotomy Corporation feels like a ghost story. I've touched upon this in my previous A post.

As you reach the Corp's lower levels, there are less Sephirah. First there are four. They act like normal employees, and do not breach into the story's underbelly until you reach their core supressions and the facade breaks. Second, counting Tiphereth as one, there are three. They still go about their duties, but they know what they are. Third, there are two, and the facade is gone. They know what they are, and they will tell you about the sins of the past.

And finally, you reach Keter, and there is only one.

This gradual decay of the facade is what really gets to me. I said that by interacting with the Sephirah, A deals with his issues one by one, but that's what the Sephirah are, in this case. Representations.

The people the Sephirah used to be are dead, and the Sephirah are their ghosts. The core supression involve putting these ghosts to rest. Doesn't it match the progression of a typical ghost story? Find the ghost, find what they used to be, and help them move on.

So, if everyone is a ghost, then A is alone.

But, behind the scenes, the Sephirah are still there. They are still people, and they have changed for the better, too. As always, A simply does not look.

(Does he even see the good others see in him? Does he look away from praise, too? Did he even realize Benjamin's admiration for him? Will we ever know?)

6. A's end.

A's progression of moving on would be fine and dandy if it did not end as thus: A does kill himself.

A sees himself beyond the point of no return. Everyone is dead. He is alone. Carmen is never coming back. He can't call it quits now, or else everything has been in vain. (Even if the last days show us a part of him wants to just quit, so badly.)

So, there's only one thing left to do: follow the Script to its ending. Fulfill Carmen's legacy at all costs. Death as the ultimate release.

This is the point where I admit I do not like the death as release trope. But the game does a good enough job as presenting it as the only option A had, or the only option he saw himself as having.

However, I've mentioned it before, I'll mention it again: A was not alone. Death was his release, but he left wreckage. In order to end his own suffering, he inflicted the same pain he went through on others.

Throughout the game, he moves on and pushes through. The ending shows that in reality... he didn't.

At least in lor the characters stick together and help each other heal.

This has been most of my thoughts on A, amounting to my longest analysis post ever, having taken me approximately two and a half hours to complete, and clocking in at 2337 words including up to this paragraph.

Thank you anon for giving me the incentive to verbalize all of this, so I can finally be at ease having inflicted my thoughts on everybody else.

[msfcatlover]

Okay, I did my best to trim the list down (believe it or not, this could go on for several more pages—my “to rec” list is very long.) I’ll go ahead and flag the “core to the fandom experience (at least in the circles I was running in, circa s5)” ones with a ⭐️, while my personal favorite-favorites will get a 💖. (Which is not to say the unmarked ones are bad; please keep in mind this is the absolute tops from an already cultivated list of fics I most feel are worth waving in people’s faces, which is clipped from my own personal saved links of fics I loved. I cannot in good conscience not rec any of the fics on this list.)

WARNING: LONG LIST AND FULL-SERIES SPOILERS AHEAD

💖⭐️ The Reverb in These Holy Halls — Reverb is the quintessential time travel fixit for this fandom. Written before the finale, Jon’s memories (and powers) get sent back to the day Gertrude died. He tries very, very hard to change things for the best, to protect the people he cares about, and to not let his feelings for the Martin of the future affect his feelings for the Martin of the past. How much he succeeds is arguable, but it is a great story about reclaiming power & love against the odds. Also has some of the best characterization & worldbuilding I’ve ever seen, hugely influential on my own interpretation of how the Entities & avatars function.

💖 Beholden — [WIP] Another where Jon’s memories get sent back, this time to halfway through s1. Jon tries to not let on that anything has changed while also trying to push things in a better direction, but that’s rather hard when he just cannot bear to be such a prick to everyone again, and also kinda had to burn a blind spot into both his eyes with a laser pointer in order to protect himself from any omniscient bastards who might try to read his mind. (I cannot rec this highly enough, it’s one of my all-time favorites in this fandom with some of the absolute best characterization out there. This is the fic that single-handedly made Tim probably my favorite character with a single chapter.)

💖 where there’s a will, we make a way — [WIP] Jon only manages to send his memories back as far as his coma. He still does his best to make a better future… seriously not helped by the fact he can seemingly only speak in statement quotes.

step in time — S1!Jon gets lost in the tunnels while running from Prentiss. He stumbles out in the s4 finale, just in time to stop the end of the world, and switches places with s4!Jon in an instant. Martin decides to say, “Fuck the timeline,” and just explain everything that’s happened.

💖⭐️ Turning Back to Different Pasts — Post ep.200, Jon & Martin are physically sent back to the early days of the show. Told from the perspectives of the s1 crew, who are all having varying levels of breakdown over the whole situation.

💖 Deja Vu — The s1 crew all have their memories sent back from the moment they died. Due to vastly different levels of information, different priorities, and different assumptions about the situation, they all assume they’re alone in this experience. (This author is one of my faves, and you should absolutely check out their other stuff when you finish this one!)

Awake & Unafraid — [Login Restricted] There is no Head Archivist when Tim, Sasha, & Martin join the archives. There is a spooky voice who records the real statements over them with his own endnote commentary. Everyone has their own takes on this haunting situation, but really, Jon just wants to keep his assistants safe.

💖 The Lives We’ve Shared — Jon finds Gertrude’s secret tapes while recording the very first statement. Elias kills him for it. Jon refuses to die, and proceeds to haunt the archives through sheer force of denial. It takes months for anyone to notice.

⭐️ Something Impossible — Jon & Georgie never have their falling out, so she’s there to tell him how fucking creepy & ominous Elias is being about the promotion. Turns into a rapidly spiraling comedy as they somehow befriend half the avatars in London, and Elias keeps trying to make Jon the Archivist by any means necessary.

⭐️ Fate, or Something — AU where Jon & Georgie never had their falling out, and Martin works for Melanie’s YouTube show. The girls try to set them up together, but it’s not until things start getting Seriously Spooky that they manage to start getting along.

Crimson Honey — I’m a sucker for a decent hanahaki fic with a happy ending, what can I say? Especially if it actually saves a few lives along the way.

💖 Clutching Daffodils — More hanahaki. This time, it’s chronic, and Jon finds out Martin has it in the s1 finale. As a result, Martin’s the only one he feels safe around in s2, because Jon knows full well that Martin wouldn’t hurt him (even if Jon still can’t quite bring himself to trust Martin.)

💖 Full, Riotous Bloom — Martin contracts Hanahaki in s2 from a Leitner. This does not fix much of anything, but does force everyone to be a lot more honest with eachother (and themselves.) . (I want to give this one a ⭐️ so bad, but unlike many other fics on this list, I never saw anyone else talking about it here on tumblr. It was essential to my fandom experience, though.)

💖⭐️ A Home For What Loves You — Jon also goes to do some unauthorized follow-up on the Vittery statement, and so he & Martin end up trapped by Prentiss together. The forced intimacy creates a rapidly amplifying cascade of butterfly effects which ends up changing everything.

💖 paved with good intentions — Martin becomes the Archivist, and tries his best to help everyone he comes across. Unfortunately, this only accelerates his Becoming. (Stand-alone, but intended to have sequels which sadly never materialized. So it’s very open-ended & bittersweet, but still a wonderful read.)

if not for hope, the heart would break — [WIP] An AU by the Jon/Gerry author I mentioned before where Jon became Gertrude’s assistant right before she died, and so knows too much to risk giving the Archivist position. Martin gets pressured into the job instead. (Like I said, I’m not a fan of Jon/Gerry, but I do have a lot of respect for this author so if you like that ship then you should probably give their other fics a read.)

💖 all of us were there — A text-fic (which I normally hate, so you know it’s good) where Jon makes the mistake of going out for drinks with his assistants in s1. The additional closeness turns into a delightful found family arc, while the spookiness ramps up intensity with some of the most creative manifestations I’ve ever seen and excellent use of the medium to convey the dread.

The Magnus Institute vs the 21st century — Crack taken seriously, emails between the other departments of the Institute. What do the HR e-mails over there look like?

💖 Missed Messages — The magic of cloud data means that Martin actually gets to see Premtiss’s text messages once he gets a new phone. (CirrusGrey is back, and while this whole series is delightful, this first one is my favorite!)

Taking a Shot — Martin takes the opportunity, hiding in document storage & waiting to die, to confess his feelings. Jon, reacting totally on instinct, kisses him. This becomes slightly complicated when they then, y’know, don’t die. (Oh look, CirrusGrey again.)

roses, roses, roses — For the record, Martin fucking hates his new boss. Hates him. He’s too polite to say so to Jon’s face (which in Martin’s opinion is Jon’s only redeeming feature) but Martin just cannot stand the bastard. All of which Martin does have to reconsider after the Prentiss incident, when Jon seems to be genuinely attempting to be nice.

💖 A Bit of Hazing — A missing scene from Dreamer, where Jon goes to Tim for help because he trusts Tim more than anyone else down here. (For the record, this author is also amazing and basically any of their stuff is worth taking for a spin.)

💖 See Me Drown — This author has a whole bunch of fics about Jon having chronic health problems where he struggles in his early days as Head Archivist, but Tim & Sasha are too busy being salty about the promotion to notice until things go too far. I like almost all of them (it’s about the reunion & recovery) but this is my favorite.

Relation — Pre-series fluff where Jon sets off all Tim’s big brother instinct, and Tim is determined to become his best friend.

The Breaking Down of Walls — Tim is very, very good at figuring out people’s boundaries. That’s why he teases Jon so much, and why he stops after Jon becomes Head Archivist. He’s still going to look after the idiot, though. (Voiceless_terror is back with the Jon & Tim dynamic I endlessly crave.)

a deeply annoying child — Jon reads a Leitner that turns you back into the version of yourself who first encountered the supernatural. The s3 crew then needs to grapple with having a small child and no Archivist for a while. (Canon-compliant, but anything where Jon brings out Tim’s big brother instincts wins a thousand extra kudos from me.)

scenes and things — Melanie finds Nikola’s “ransom” message. The entire s3 crew is horrified, and immediately launch a rescue mission.

💖⭐️ The Kindness of Strangers — Another serious contender for my favorite TMA fic of all time. Set in s3, Martin finally convinced Tim & Jon to talk about their issues. Unfortunately, Breekon & Hope interrupt them while looking to kidnap the Archivist; not knowing which of them it is, they just take them both. Trauma-bonding ensues, especially when the situation basically forces both of them to revisit their original supernatural traumas and finally get to make the choices they wish they had the first time around. (Mind the warnings. No, seriously, mind the warnings. This one is pretty intense as it points out Nikola wasn’t exactly going to stop her beauty routine at Jon’s face, now was she? And then it describes that.)

a melody played in a penny arcade — Everything takes a hard left turn in mid-s3, when suddenly no one in the archives crew can leave the building.

💖 Open windows — Jon reaches out to Martin in s2, just once. Martin is a lot more forgiving of Jon’s transgressions because, well, the paranoia & isolation? Martin’s been there already. Very recently, too. (Canon-compliant.)

💖 Inseparable (and it’s sequel) — Left very open-ended, but a pre-series glimpse of an AU where Jon & Martin were childhood friends who fell out of touch after Mr. Spider. (Voiceless_terror at it again with their amazing writing!)

The Sky Turns Green — Jon & Martin spent the night together before the Unknowing. Heartbreakingly canon-compliant.

It’s actually a pretty popular headcanon that Jon & Martin confessed their feelings right before the s3 finale. Have one or two more. (All canon-compliant.)

Oh, have some where Tim survives the Unknowing as well.

because light reverses, because the dead return — After the Unknowing, nobody’s paying attention. Jon ends up buried alive.

⭐️ “the Polish fic” — Jon wakes up immediately after the Unknowing, able to understand all spoken language. He finds out about this when Martin starts proclaiming his affection exclusively in Polish (a language Martin knows for a fact Jon cannot speak.)

💖⭐️ Tangled Up In What I’ve Seen — Jon comes back, and Martin can see the strings the Web has wrapped Jon all up in. Martin sets off to personally squish every spider in the Institute.

Quis Terreat Ipsa Terrores? — Georgie yells, scolds, bargains, and assaults various manifestations throughout London to earn her friends a vacation. That’s it, that’s the fic; it’s borderline crack, but absolutely delightful.

💖 the best policy — Midway through s4, Jon reads a Leitner that forces him to always answer questions with complete truthfulness. It’s a nasty wake up call for everyone around him, getting both the unfiltered truth about how miserable Jon’s been and a taste of what it’s like to be able to compel answers with just a slip of the tongue. Needless to say, nobody is having a good time, but it does get them all on the same page with a healthy does of added empathy & compassion. Also, the ending is super cute.

💖⭐️ Family, Found — [Login Restricted] The s4 crew are only as cold, sharp, & mean as they are inside the archives; Basira realizes they’re all being manipulated, and they all set out to spit in the face of whatever wants them to hurt eachother.

💖⭐️ Resigned, Though Not to Fate — Jon asks Martin to gouge their eyes out & run away together. In this world, Martin says yes. It’s not nearly as simple as it sounds (lingering enemies, supernatural side-effects, and the simple reality of adjusting to total blindness all threaten to stop them) but they find a way to make it work. (Once again: Hoo boy, heed those warnings! These are some of the most intense, visceral, disgusting eye-gougings I’ve seen in this fandom, and there are a lot of eye-gougings in this fandom. If you can stomach it, though, please do not let that stop you from reading this masterpiece.)

(I have a whole selection of character studies set in the safehouse period between 159 & 160, but couldn’t actually narrow them down enough to feel comfortable adding them. This list is long enough, you don’t need a whole ‘nother page of just “And here’s Jon & Martin being super cute while discussing boundaries or addressing their traumas with eachother! They’re healing! Ignore that finale on the horizon, everyone else is.”)

variations on a death scene — Everyone gets their turn murdering the worst boss to ever walk the Earth.

💖 A Break in the Clouds — Jon sent his mind (and powers) back to the moment he first encountered the supernatural, and tries to change the past. He starts by heading to the Institute to give his statement about Mr. Spider, and encounters a very young Elias Bouchard on his smoke break. (This is another one that was so important to my own experience I want to give it a ⭐️, but it is incredibly niche and I haven’t seen anyone else talk about it. Written before s5 wrapped up, so a very different Elias from the one whose statement we ended up hearing, but still one of my very favorite time travel fics ever. Jon & Elias basically both look at eachother, go “Is anyone going to adopt this idiot?” and then don’t wait for an answer. Also, the author takes a lot of joy in reminding everyone the brain Jon is working with is very much that of a child. Like, this is not a 30-something year old man trapped in a 9yr old body, this is a 9yr old with +30yrs worth of memories, and also monster cravings.) . (I did lose the link for a while—which is actually what made me decide to start saving those—and have only just found it again, so I haven’t had the chance to catch up now that it’s done. However, I did finish the entire first section back in the day, and I love it enough that I’m willing to risk vouching for the rest. It’s good, please read it.)

💖 See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea — Jon was claimed by the Vast long before he met Mr. Spider. The Fairchilds all adore him, Mike Crew becomes his mentor, and he still gets involved with the Institute in the form of fucking with Elias whenever he gets the chance and befriending the Archives crew along the way.

When No One Looks — Jon is secretly a Dark avatar. Not a terribly powerful one, but he still does his very best to keep Martin safe after Prentiss.

love on a smaller stage — In an Archivist!Sasha universe, Martin’s not the only one who can see through NotJon’s disguise… but he can tell something’s very, very wrong when so many of his most precious memories of Jon run counter to what NotJon’s personality seems to be. (They do get Jon back, and it turns into an unsettling study of trying to return to a life someone has systematically stripped to nothing.)

💖 Hovering Slowly — Look, it probably won’t make you feel any better, but I am eternally salty I can’t find any long form Archivist!Tim fics that actually take the concept seriously. And this is such a good set-up for one, I love it to pieces.

💖 Don’t Let’s Start (This Is The Worst Part) — [Login Restricted] [WIP] I am eternally heartbroken this fic seems abandoned. Tim goes from his death to the morning of the s1 finale. He prepares himself to do whatever it takes to save Sasha this time around… only to find out he’s trapped in a timeloop.

⭐️ The Eyespot Chronicles — After the end of the world ends, everything is different but the survivors are still here. Jon & Martin open up a cute little bookshop and try to figure out how to make their relationship work after Jon’s been transformed into a literal moth. (That sounds like crack, but this fic plays it 100% straight and actually brought me to the brink of tears a few times.)

💖⭐️ A Matter of Diplomacy — The fantasy AU where Jon is a powerful Witch King and Martin’s just a low-level diplomat from the neighboring kingdom who manages to surprise him, insult him, frustrate him, and humble him in that order, all in one evening. All of which earns Martin a standing invitation to come visit whenever he likes. An invite Martin would have liked to ignore forever but there’s a war on the horizon, his country needs all the allies they can get, and Jon is both famously private and a still neutral neighbor, so... who else could they even send? (Get your fantasy politics here! Funnily enough, while both the main characters have zero interest in playing the political game, this fic has some of the coolest, most in-depth politics I’ve seen in a long time. It is a world-swap style crossover, so I might not be able to credit all of that to this writer, but it’s really interesting to look at that delicate political dance from the perspective of one (1) person who’s terrible at it, watching one (1) person who’s very good at it but hates every second of it.)

💖 a tale as old — The fairytale AU where Jon is monster who lives deep in the woods, said to have the answer to any question for a terrible price. Martin goes to him first to cure his mother’s ailments, but for all Jon’s gruff manner & demands for Martin’s deepest heartaches, there is a kindness to him and he clearly takes no pleasure in the pain he witnesses. When Martin’s mother is healed, Martin returns again simply to spend time with Jon.

weave the dull world around us — The fairytale AU where Martin’s a stitch-witch and Jon’s a fae in the woods behind his house. Elias rips off one of Jon’s wings, so Martin goes on a quest to make him a new one.

💖⭐️ dustsceawung — The urban fantasy AU where the fae live right alongside modern humanity. Martin moves into a fixer-upper far from his home, and quickly becomes enamored with two local mysteries: the guy who walks past his house every few days with an armload of books (despite nobody officially living up the road from Martin,) and the very large moth that came crashing through his open window during a storm and keeps coming back after Martin patches it up and lets it go.

💖 even in another time — The urban fantasy AU where Martin moves into a house haunted by the ghost of one Gertrude Robinson, an old witch whose magic library has seemingly gained sentience and is not happy. Martin’s landlord points him towards the town’s resident medium… with a warning that the medium isn’t exactly pleasant company.

let the bitterest god drink ambrosia — [WIP] The AU where instead of supernatural powers, it’s just good ol’ fashioned unethical experimentation. Anyway, Jon is mothman in this one.

uhhh hello tma fandom (first time ever interacting with the fandom I am Afraid be nice to me pls)

I have not yet finished the series but I did accidentally spoil myself on a few things and uh. uh. I just want to ask. does anyone have any fanfics I can read after finishing it that will make me feel better because I can already tell its going to destroy me 💀 like….. idk. I love hurt/comfort fix it stuff…. something like that has got to exist right…….. if anyone seeing this knows a good one that would fit that category pls lmk LOL sorry I am. man. why do I always get into shit that is bad for my mental health like without fail. why

[traincat]

I’ve been trying to piece together a few things from your Twitter and Tumblr posts alike and still can’t make heads or tales of things, so would you mind helping out a FF & spideytorch noob? 1) what is currently happening with Johnny in the comics? (I’ve fallen head over heels for this guy, largely all your doing) 2) when’s the last time he and Peter have interacted, canon wise? (And do you think upcoming interactions are likely?) 3) your thoughts on if they’ll have him come out in the near future? (has that ‘biggest change to the fantastic four’ teaser come to pass yet?) Love all your content, thank you!

I'd say no problem but then I started thinking about this current run again and got a headache. But yes, I can do that to save you from reading it, because it is very largely not good.

So I don't think it's unfair to just flat out say the current Fantastic Four run is not very good, largely due to writer Dan Slott's efforts. Slott was previously on Amazing Spider-Man for 10 years, to mixed opinions, but a large portion of Spider-Man fandom, myself included, blames him near singlehandedly for the decline in quality of Spider-Man books over those ten years. I will say, in the interest of fairness, that Slott as a writer has an incredible fondness for the Spider-Man/Human Torch relationship, and that a lot of the recent teamups and interactions between them have been written or co-written by him. So it's all not all negative here. But in general, I personally find Slott's more recent comics (the last seven-ish years especially) to be badly plotted out, messily characterized disasters that feature characters written with all the emotion of a cardboard cutout. That's me putting it nicely.

To explain this fully, you have to understand the position Fantastic Four comics were in from the years 2015 through 2018, both in the fictional 616 universe and in the real publishing world. Following the 2015 Secret Wars event (great if you want some Johnny angst in the background of your plot), the Fantastic Four were disbanded -- Reed, Sue, and their many biological and found family children were presumed dead but in reality were remaking the multiverse, unable, for a reason that was never clearly defined, to reach home. Ben and Johnny were left on Earth. They had an unspecified falling out, likely due to Reed and Sue's absence, and went their separate ways -- Ben joined the Guardians of the Galaxy and went to space. Johnny was featured on both Inhumans and Avengers books. What's notable about this period is that it's the first time since 1961 that there was no Fantastic Four book being published by Marvel. Now the real world reason behind this is both complicated and extremely petty: Marvel really wanted the Fantastic Four film rights. Marvel denied this explanation at the time, stating that the reason was sales motivated, but it was a thoroughly flimsy excuse and Jonathan Hickman, writer of 2015's Secret Wars and overseer of the current X-Men plot, gave an interview saying the decision was film rights motivated. This decision kept the Fantastic Four books off the shelves for three years, up until the Disney-Fox merger, which secured the X-Men and Fantastic Four rights for Disney's Marvel Studios. Marvel then announced that the Fantastic Four book would be returning. So that's a little bit of background as to the precarious place the Fantastic Four currently occupy in the Marvel universe -- it's worth noting that this year is their 60th anniversary, and Marvel has done very little for it. Compare this to the X-Men, whose film rights Marvel also obtained during the Disney-Fox merger, and whose books are currently dominating the publishing lineup. The Fantastic Four definitely occupy an unpopular position, one Marvel themselves is at least partially responsible for forcing them into.

But to move back into the actual content of the book -- the readjustment period Slott wrote reintroducing the Fantastic Four into the Marvel universe can be described as clumsy, at best. It's never fully explained why Reed, Sue, and the kids couldn't return to Earth, something that was explored in Chip Zdarsky's 2017 Marvel Two-in-One, which featured Ben, Johnny, and Doom on a multiversal roadtrip to try and find their family and which I on the whole recommend, despite it having an awkward ending due to being cut short by Slott's announced Fantastic Four main title.

(Marvel Two-in-One 2017 #4)

Instead, the Fantastic Four return to a Marvel universe a little different than how they left it, with the Baxter Building -- formerly the offices of Parker Industries, the company Doc Ock started in Peter's body during Superior Spider-Man that Peter inherited after his defeat and then lost spectacularly when he trashed his own company to fight nazis (good for him) -- occupied by a different fantastic foursome in a plot that goes nowhere and does nothing. This is somewhat emblematic of the early days of Slott's run -- he introduces ideas that fail to go anywhere, including Johnny's rekindled relationship with his other best friend and former college roommate, Wyatt Wingfoot, who he was seen being very cuddly with in the early issues.

(FF 2018 #1) A small group of Fantastic Four fans have argued for a while that if Marvel was to have Johnny come out, a relationship with Wyatt would feel very natural -- they're already close, with Wyatt being an important Fantastic Four supporting character since the '60s. I have some further analysis here on the conspiracy theory that Johnny and Wyatt were supposed to be in relationship at the beginning of this run but that that plot was, for whatever reason, nixed. I don't know that I entirely believe this theory, for the record -- but I do think the pieces line up remarkably well.

Anyway, that didn't/hasn't yet happened, obviously. Slott instead for the most part put Johnny on the back burner for the beginning of his run, up until the Spyre arc, which I have reason to believe is the main story he pitched that he credits with securing him the Fantastic Four title. The Spyre arc suggests that the Fantastic Four's failed space exploration during which they got their powers wasn't just to beat the commies to the moon, as Lee and Kirby envisioned (simpler days), but to reach a specific planet outside of our galaxy. When the team sets out to conquer this mission, they arrive at the planet, but are quickly captured. The planet, they find out, operates like a soulmate AU -- everyone has a fated person that they are matched to via a gold armband. Reed and Sue are soulmates (and Ben is confined to an underground subterranean with the other monsters, because this is a Fantastic Four comic) while it's discovered! Shocker! That Johnny is actually the soulmate of the one the planet's inhabitants, a winged woman named Sky, with the suggestion that this is both why Johnny's previous relationships have never worked and why he loves space exploration -- he was just trying to get to his Soulmate TM.

(FF 2018 #15) "What's going on here? Where are my clothes?" As you can see, this didn't start off super great, with Johnny being separated from his family, stripped naked, and put in Sky's bed with a soulmate armband slapped on him. Did I mention they're only removable if your soulmate takes it off for you? And that Sky has consistently refused despite Johnny asking her to? Yeah. It's bad. (I think it's important to note Johnny's long history as a victim of assault plays into this narrative, whether or not Slott is personally holding that in mind while writing, which I don't believe he is. cw in the linked post for discussions of sexual assault.) There's an additional issue here in that Slott has a history of problematic writing regarding women of color, featuring characters he's created to act as love interests being oversexualized, infantilized, villainized, or some mix of all three, with two examples of this phenomena being Cindy Moon and Lian Tang, both of whom he introduced in quick succession in Amazing Spider-Man. Slott certainly didn't have to write Sky as manipulative or controlling towards Johnny, but that's what he chose to do, and that factors into the bigger picture of unfortunate themes in his writing.

Sky returns to Earth with the Fantastic Four despite Johnny appearing unenthused about the idea and initially generally reluctant to interact with her. Apparently they went on a few dates after this and kind of made up. I don't know because I stopped reading for about ten issues in there but I feel confident I missed very little. It's hard to talk about the Sky plot without referencing Johnny's previous interactions with a character named Lyja, a Skrull whose relationship to Johnny I have a long breakdown of here. It's doubly hard, because Lyja actually showed back up in Fantastic Four during this plot. Lyja's modus operandi has remained consistent throughout almost all of her appearances, which I guess makes sense, because she literally has no storylines that do not involve her being obsessed with Johnny, and this recent story isn't any different: Lyja shows up, Lyja disguises herself as another woman in Johnny's life to get close to Johnny, Lyja gets caught and claims it was all fine because she did it for love. This time she disguised herself as Sky.

(FF 2018 #32) Not gonna lie, kind of proud of him for this one. That's one of my problems with Slott -- very occasionally, he busts out good moments, only to undermine them with the rest of his narrative.

In the same issue, Alicia Masters, the first woman Lyja impersonated in order to get close to Johnny, uses her supervillain stepfather's radioactive clay to control Lyja's mind and send her back to space, and I do think she utilized girl power when she did this. Johnny, left reeling after Lyja's latest attempts to trick him into a relationship, ends this issue by sleeping with Victorious, Dr. Doom's right hand woman.

I know she pegged him. I know it. This scene was a little controversial in Johnny fandom, because a lot of people viewed it as Johnny cheating on Sky and thought that that action was out of character for Johnny. I'm personally of a little different opinion, which is that regardless of whether or not you view Johnny and Sky in a committed enough relationship that Johnny's tryst would count as infidelity when all Johnny and Sky are bound by are magic plot soulmate bracelets, I think Lyja's involvement changes things significantly when it comes to Johnny's characterization. All of Johnny's "playboy" periods, if we can call them that, coincide directly with Lyja having been in and then left his life again, which I think makes a certain amount of sense -- it's Johnny trying to wrest control back after a situation where he had none. None of this is explicitly canon, I have to note, but sometimes in comics you have to do the work yourself. So I think this is a case of something being accidentally extremely in character that Slott accidentally stumbled into because he had these love triangles in mind, not because he put a lot of thought into it.

Speaking of love triangles! Johnny sleeping with Victorious gets more complicated when Dr. Doom announces his intent to marry Victorious -- not because he has any romantic interest in her (this engagement caused a lot of uproar in Fantastic Four because Victorious had been previously referred to as being like Doom's adopted daughter) but in order to install her as Latverian regent in his absence. I'm not going to lie, I love a political wedding. Victorious, for some reason, thinks Doom will be deeply upset that she slept with some closeted blond twink and the member of the Fantastic Four he views least as an enemy and more as an annoyance. Johnny, who Sky is currently not talking to because she "felt" him sleeping with Victorious through their magic plot soulmate bracelets, also feels nervous about Doom finding out about this, which I guess is slightly more valid. Anyway, for some completely ridiculous reason, Victorious decides the best time to tell Doom about this little indiscretion is when they're standing at the altar, which coincidentally the Fantastic Four are also standing at, because Doom asked Reed to be his best man in a not at all homoerotic little setup involving midnight swordfighting and Reed slipping Doom's emerald ring onto his own finger. Sorry to sidetrack into DoomReed territory here but it's just like. It's just a lot.

(FF 2018 #33) Also, Ben walked the bride down the aisle. :,) Look at his gigantic hand.

Anyway then Doom decides he's going to kill everyone in a completely reasonable and not at all overblown reaction to Johnny and Zora having what was most likely both disappointing for Zora and weepy for Johnny sex. And that brings us up to where Fantastic Four comics left us yesterday -- in answer to your "big change" question, that's most likely coming up in the next issue, so it hasn't come to pass yet.

Having gotten all that out of the way -- the last time Johnny and Peter interacted canon-wise was in the recent Empyre Fallout Fantastic Four, at the end of the Empyre event:

It was cute! Slott does right good interactions between them. This is possibly the Stockholm Syndrome talking. I don't know if more interactions are likely imminent -- the Empyre event was fairly recent. On the other hand, Slott does like writing interactions between them. So I'd give it about a 50/50 shot. I was skimming the letter page in the latest issue and someone wrote in asking if Peter was likely to appear in the pages of Fantastic Four again any time soon, so there is definitely a demand.

As for Johnny coming out -- I don't know. It's not a call I feel comfortable making at this moment, which I guess means I wouldn't bet money on it. I'd like to say yes, especially because I think Slott set up, whether that was his intention or more likely not, several good places in his run where Johnny could have come out. The beginning, when he's implied to be living with Wyatt again and where he and Wyatt are paralleled against Ben and Alicia. Ben's bachelor party, where Johnny laments not finding the right person -- specifically person and not woman -- and where Ben tells him to "be brave, Johnny Storm." And the soulmate planet plot, where I think could have had a very different and much better ending if Johnny had told Sky that she couldn't be his romantic soulmate, because he knows he wants to be with a man. But those are just places that I think would have made good opportunities for a coming out story. Instead, Johnny's been involved (dubiously) with three different women over the space of the last 10 issues, which is more heterosexuality at one time than he's been confronted with in the last 60 years. So my thoughts are still that it's going to happen eventually, but quite possibly not anytime soon.

Hope that helps! And that my incredibly long answer about what's currently going on with Johnny in comics sheds some light on things!

[beevean]

I'm gonna be very honest. Barok means a lot to me as a character, like on a deep personal level. I grew up in a very bigoted household, and general town, and internalized so much of their dogma that I'm still trying to unlearn all that bullshit even to this day. I know it's wrong and irrational, but when you live somewhere with people who try to ingrain that shit into you since the day you born? It's hard to unlearn.

That's why Barok means so much to me. He's a character with obviously irrational, that he knows are irrational btw fandom, and horrendous views (that the game wants to be uncomfortable about, it's not endorsing them people), but what does he do when presented all the evidence that he was wrong? He changes. He stops and starts making and effort not to say that shit anymore. He APOLOGIZES to the people he said that shit to. Multiple times! It's obvious from the way EVERY SINGLE BRITISH CHARACTER talks in this game that they're not glossing over the fact 18/1900s Britian is racist as fuck (even Sholmes had a line or two that could be read as a micro-aggression, SHOLMES).

I can also tell you exactly the progression of Barok's hatred because of how the society around him reinforced it because I have seen it happen before my very eyes in my home town. But unlike a lot of real like bigots who believe they're 100% right and refuse to change, Barok does. We can argue all day if his redemption is handled well or if his reaction makes sense, but let me tell y'all that from first hand experience bigotry NEVER makes sense. Never. And destroying that bigotry often comes from attacking the "reasons" or "logic" behind that bigotry. Barok perfectly makes sense to me.

I rarely ever see characters like Barok and given how the fandom treats him, refuses to acknowledge that yes he did stop and apologize at the end of DGS2, I can only wonder how people would treat me.

Thank you so much for sharing!

I agree completely with what you say about breaking free of bigoted views. It's hard to realize that your normality isn't normal at all, or even that it's harmful and you might have hurt people by doing things that you didn't even think they were wrong. That's why most bigots have a hard time changing, because admitting that you've been wrong for a long time is hard, and because societal pressure is stronger than we may give it credit for and we don't feel comfortable or even safe by standing out from the "normality".

As I always say, Barok's excuse for being a raging xenophobe is a bit weak for me if taken on its own. You don't wake up one day deciding to hate an entire group of people for one single reason. This is why I always propose that one of the major factors for his attitude was also the genuine racism that was prevalent in the British Empire at the time, the idea that British people were inherently superior and that it was their God-given purpose to enlighten those backwards foreigners. I bet that Barok, especially as a nobleman, was raised with this conviction as well, so when a Japanese man was revealed to be a serial killer, it was very easy for him to slip into the mentality of "of course he did all those atrocities, he was a Nipponese, that's how they are, they're savages anyway". After all, if he can assume all Japanese people are set to betray you, he would see past their façade and never be hurt again... right?

And then comes Ryuu, who Barok even admits had absolute integrity at his job, who showed himself to be so talented that Barok left his old friend in his hands, and who came to help him at his lowest point for no reason and without asking for anything in return. They do say that experience is the enemy of bigotry :)

(ngl I felt for him when he admits that he knows that his hatred is irrational, but he just can't help it - while I wish Ryuu had a stronger reaction to his racist remarks, that just screams "please I need a therapist")

And yes, what people seem to ignore is that he changes at the end. And while it's true that before Chronicles' release DGS2 was less popular than DGS1 due to a lack of a complete translation patch, I think they do it on purpose anyway? Usually the people who are so aggressive against "problematic" characters and the people who like them don't believe much in redemption and character development :\ it's one thing to say his "Nipponese" comments are annoying af, becase they are, but to act like that it's the extent of his characterization is a bold-faced lie. Sadly I see this behavior applied to real people as well, it's like they believe that you're either born bad or born good, instead of having control over your actions :\ but thankfully I haven't seen much hatred for Barok in these past few weeks, or at least way less than I was afraid of! And most of the people who complete GAA2 agree that he's an excellent character with compelling character development.

I also love Barok, and I think he's uniquely fleshed-out compared to other prosecutors: he's intimidating, he's hilarious, he's obnoxious, and under all of that there is a sad man who lead a lonely life surrounded by death, shunned by London to the point of not bearing his nickname, used like a pawn and lied to for the sake of "improving London", and without any outlet other than wine and irrational hatred towards people that remind him of the wound that never healed... but who still had the strength to admit to himself, eventually, "I was wrong this entire time". Sometimes you just have to welcome problematic characters in your heart <3

On a slightly related tangent, you reminded me of a comment I read on Reddit once, of a person who loved Nahyuta because they also were raised in a religious household and were a zealot in the past. It's fascinating how some characters can speak to us :)

I wish you all the best in your quest to unlearn bigotry and become the person you want to become <3

[xz1005fanblog]

Hi! I’m hoping this isn’t annoying or asking too much (please just ignore me if that’s the case 😅) but i’ve seen some screenshots going around from xz’s old weibo, like the tan lina stuff. I don’t know chinese, anything about weibo, and i feel like I can’t determine whether this is real or not. I know that lots of people have … a truly intense hatred for him, so it wouldn’t be shocking if antis were just slandering him. But it’s confusing with tan lina even acknowledging it?? I saw you say in an earlier post that antis were blowing his old posts out of proportion and making up stuff, so i was wondering if you could correct the record?? ;___; thank you for reading this confused ask

Hi!

So for those who don't know about Tan Lina, she's a half-Indian, half-Chinese actress. The controversy was about this screenshot circulating on wb with XZ's old ID, where he allegedly was opposed to her playing a character and used defamatory words.

This was the alleged screenshot, when weibo shares a post to there own wall, the last person sharing the post can add their own reply to the front of what was said before. So basically in this screenshot:

Date: 2011-08-15

4th reposter: My Blake! I want to punch you! First it's Princess of the Returning Pearl (another classic character) Now it's my precious!

// (this is what is between each reposter's statements) 3rd reposter: This... Wasn't it supposed to be Feng Jie who was going to play~ Feng Jie has so much more appeal than any of them!!! //

2nd reposter: What have they changed the name to again. //

1st reposter (allegedly XZ's old ID): What! They found an Indian black girl to play s, , , //

Original poster: OMG Gossip Girl!!!! I don't want to say anything anymore...

The following screenshot is what the search bar gives when you try to search the content of that post on weibo again. We cannot find this post or any of the reposts anymore.

So many things lead us to think that the original screenshot was fake. The first is that the number of reblogs shows up as 0, which is fairly suspicious since the screenshot itself shows at least 4 reposters.

The other suspicious thing is the space between the ID and the statements, generally weibo gives automatically a double space between the colon : and the ID, which is not consistent in this screenshot.

This is a post by a non-fan who added a group chat to get paid to post/repost things on weibo for money. It basically says that she got pulled into another private group to repost that first screenshot and pour oil to the fire. The person refused to do this task against their conscience.

Whether or not the first screenshot was real, you can be assured that Xiao Zhan does not discriminate against black people.

On his weibo account in 2015 he liked this post of a African-American child who got bullied for cosplaying as Elsa for Halloween. He also liked albums released by African-American singers, and took selfies with people of color. These can still be found by scrolling far enough through his "liked posts" on weibo (I have personally verified this in 2020 when all these rumors came out).

Serena in Gossip Girls was originally characterized as a classical blond haired girl with blue eyes, I think someone who can appreciate a black-skinned child putting a costume as Elsa from Frozen would not be so scandalized with a half-Indian woman playing Serena.

I fairly suspect the actress Tan Lina to have been duped by XZ's haters and that first screenshot, and while I do sympathize with her difficulties with discrimination in her area of work (let's face it, people of color do not have it easy in any industry), I do not believe XZ personally discriminated against people of color.

Pictures dating back to his university days (that haircut is unmistakable hahaha)

Sources:

https://m.weibo.cn/status/4487238824153644?sourceType=weixin&from=10C3095010&wm=9006_2001&featurecode=newtitle

XZ's weibo

[hellyeahheroes]

Robin(2021) #1 Review

Opening this comic with an assessment of a character that I have no choice but to agree with is a cheap way to score points with me.

Anyways, we caught heat for being unfair to this story since it was announced because all of us wanted it to be a Cass story since forever. And it became yet another thing Damian absorbs. I mostly ignored it because I’ve always been open about my disdain for the character and his fandom for nearly a decade. I never liked Damian because put these characteristics on a non-white passing character, they’d be dead inside of year. Then again I hate almost all of Grant Morrison monstrosities.

Regardless, new story who dis is in full effect here. We open this bad boy up with Damian gone missing and the Batfamily searching for him. Nightwing tried asking Damian’s old Teen Titans team and they obviously don’t know and probably hope Damian is dead. Tim checked Arkham Ruins(???) and Damian wasn’t there. I honestly don’t think Tim was trying to find Damian. Steph and Cass checked Damian’s farm and Steph concluded Damian has been there at least because while Damian may be a little shit, he loves his dog and pet bat dragon. Barbara checked facial recognition pings and his transactions and dude is an IRS nightmare.

Damian is missing. Bruce is worried that maybe making a violent murderous preteen Robin raised in a cabal of killers to be chief murderer was a bad idea and is worried. Barbara ensures him that they will find his son and we cut to Damian fighting Snake guy in some musty ass fight put somewhere. Because of course it’s a musty ass fight pit because while the story is well drawn, it never claimed to be not cliche.

Damian hands the scrub his ass and it turns out Damian is trying to earn a marker to participate in some tournament. I liked this panel.

Not because of the artist flex of changing the art style, but it establishes Damian with a relatable hobby, reading manga. And not just a Shounen as you expect him to read but a slice of life manga which kind of puts his life in perspective. Also the lesson in the manga is reflective of what happens in the comic. Damian’s mastery is reflective of how he sees Hana. Hana decides to go beyond what her masters taught her. She decides to innovate and make her art her own. And that’s indicative of another flaw of Damian: Damian leans of the prestige of his teachers. He is the student that replicates the style 1:1. He wants to inherit Batman’s mantle, but doesn’t want to shed his teachings that he is proud of. And it comes down to this idea that Damian refuses to innovate and adapt because he is hiding behind his masters.

This panel saved the story so good job.

And after a talk with dead Alfred, it’s revealed that Damian is on this journey as a way to mirror Bruce’s journey into becoming Batman. It’s his way to iron his resolve without a catalyst to find a need to. It highlights his naïveté. He thinks that he can just simply copy the steps and get the same results.

Regardless what happens next simultaneously undermines the story or the impact of it.

Okay, when you think of Martial artists in DC, you immediately think Batman, Shiva, Deathstroke, Black Canary, Bronze Tiger, Richard Dragon, and Shiva. Why I said Shiva twice? Because Shiva is the pinnacle.

So to reveal that three premier martial artists in the universe are not only not participating but they were paid off to not participate, cheated out, or were subbed in as an entry replacement, it undermines the promotion. It’s like going to a Beyonce Concert only to find out that between the words in small print Beyonce and Concert was ‘s Sister’s and now you are watching Grammy award winning Solange. Sure, it’s an unique experience but it ain’t Beyonce.

And also, there is no amount in the world that would keep Shiva away from this tournament if it’s as prestigious as it’s led to be. Let’s be real. If anything, it’s far more likely that she saw the roster of scrubs and decided to make some scratch.

There are two characters that I recognize: Connor Hawke and Rose Wilson. I am not familiar with Connor so I am not sure if he is out of place. Rose is fine but y’know, scrub. I’m sorry Rose Wilson got her ass handed to her by Cass in the previous universe. There is no universe where I take her seriously in a fighting tournament to crown greatest fighter because the ass stomp was so thorough that Cass was beating Slade’s ego by proxy.

Back to the comic, Damian interrupts the host and basically is the fighting tournament trope of overly confident disrespectful guy with too many accolades which he will proudly tell you about them. What I like about this is the nice nod to the previous manga panel. Damian is not a great fighter. There I said it. Damian’s ability hinges on the idea that he was trained by the greatest killers and Batman but the issue is that name prestige doesn’t make great fighters. Too many times, comic books overly rely on this idea of fighting being a what you know and not being a game of not getting hit and getting hits in. It does not matter if Damian is trained by the League and Batman and it’s questionable as to how much Batman taught him in the first place. Hence why we see Damian with a sword or staff to compliment his lack of range. Damian can’t read muscle twitches like a Cass or Shiva so he has a normal reactive response and comics never highlighted his ability. The most impressive thing I’ve seen Damian do is catch a Batarang which is something I’ve seen Tim do. Damian overly relies on the idea that his teachers taught him to be the best when they simply taught him to survive in a fight.

“But why does Cass get away with it?,” you ask. Cass has this broken hax that is reading muscle twitch and immediately knowing the instant of what you are going to do before you do it or decide to do. Cass doesn’t need range because to her, you are screaming your intentions. She doesn’t need to block an attack when she can just parry. She doesn’t need to step back when she can just step forward while slipping all attacks. She is an autistic savant at fighting with an absolute defense. Damian is just another badass teen in a world of badass adults.

And the humbling of Damian begins...again.

Pros:

-Damian’s new costume. I like that he is branching out and starting to own his own colors. It’s nice.

-Using a character flaw to make it a theme. I like Chekhov’s gun via teachable moment. In tournament arcs, what separates the good ones and the bad ones is the idea that the hero simply must overcome their opponents and not their own self. This is why Yuyu Hakusho is awesome.

- Great art and nice continuity. It’s nice that Damian’s past wasn’t ignored for once and they didn’t just throw his Teen Titans characterization down the tubes. Say what you want, but it was arguably Damian’s longest run in spite of his fans hating it. And contrary to what they believe, it was very much in character for him. My fear going into this that Damian would not face any fallout and lo and behold he ran away.

- it’s a good start for a Damian story. Say what you want, but it’s unique in that the little shit gets his comeuppance immediately. And not that just by losing, but by dying. Damian has killed before and readily justifies it because he never realizes the weight of taking someone’s life. He’s been killed before but those were painted in a way that he is valiant. Here, this is death caused by his own arrogance. He mocks a fighter for talking shit and gets murked while talking shit. He spouts names of his own teachers and expects people to care or be weary as if Rose Wilson and Connor aren’t there. It’s a tournament sponsored by the League of Assassins, Damian. They have been taught by the league too.

Cons:

-Look I get promotion. No promoter is going to undermine their product but the fact that this tournament reeks like ABA is killing my interest to give a shit. It’s a convenient caveat to say that, “Well, a character won this so they can have the title but the title doesn’t mean anything.” I know of regardless of whom wins this, they aren’t the best. Go ham or don’t at all.

-not enough emphasis of the importance of this arc. Why even have this tournament? What’s the prize? What’s even the point?

-While the art is nice, the action is framed poorly. I like physical action like this to be nearly choreographed in a way I can see and piece movement in my head. The two fight scenes we get are somewhat disjointed in that it’s just poses. For example, Flatline’s first kick makes no sense at all and I don’t get her follow up. Trying to picture the movement hurts my head and in an action concept like this, it’s best to frame action scenes as more than doing poses. Here is a good example:

This only emphasizes the action and gets the reader to acknowledge that this a tournament of great fighters or at least a great fighting story.

All in all, do I think this story is off to a good start? Yes. Is it going to change my opinion on Damian? Hell no. My reaction to Damian getting his ass handed to him was this.

The issue is that it never sticks. Damian can learn and be a better person but the development never sticks. It becomes a cyclical series of events because whoever writes him next will just keep writing him as this shitty entitled murder rich kid who never learns anything and gets validated somehow. It’s been over a decade and I’m tired of the same excuses of his shitty behavior. I am tired of writers validating it or excusing it.

Damian losing isn’t an outcome I care for because it’s wasted on him. Honestly I am more interested in Connor and Rose being there. I have no faith that it will stick nor does it undo the shitty idea of the character. I have never wanted to see Damian fight. It’s never been fun to read about nor has the impetus of his character emphasized the ability or style. Placing Damian in an Enter the Dragon style tournament lacks the pizzazz of Cass doing the same thing. For example, let’s try Marvel.

Let’s say someone pitches an idea of a tournament arc styled after Game of Death. Immediately you think Martial Artists non-powered. Danny Rand, Daredevil, Elektra, Shang-Chi, Pei and Colleen Wing. Okay, instead of giving those characters the honor, you give the story to Black Cat. Honestly, I’d read it because Felicia could sell me a documentary on grass and I’d buy it but the point stands, why does Damian have this Bruce Lee inspired Martial Arts story versus the actual Chinese or East Asian Martial Arts focused member of the Batfamily, Cassandra Cain?

But this has nothing to do with what could have been. It’s a fun beginning of a possibly fun arc. In that regard, it delivers but what’s the point?

Like I said, fun story.

@ubernegro

[manie-sans-delire-x]

My thoughts/analysis of We Need to talk about Kevin

From abnormal psych class paper:

The character I chose to analyze and diagnose is Kevin Khatchadourian from the 2011 film, We Need to Talk about Kevin. Brilliantly depicted by star Ezra Miller and various other child actors, Kevin is an angry, emotionally detached boy who struggles in his complex relationship with his mother. We see the unhealthy relationship develop between the two through-out the film as Kevin grows from a baby to a young man, ending in tragedy as Kevin achieves his ultimate revenge against his mother by massacring the rest of their family as well as several classmates in a school shooting.  

After carefully noting Kevin’s behavior and the way he and his mother Eva interact when he is a young child, I have decided to diagnose Kevin with reactive attachment disorder (RAD). The diagnostic criteria from the current Diagnostic and Statistical manual (DSM-5) for RAD reads as follows: 

A. A consistent pattern of inhibited, emotionally withdrawn behavior toward adult caregivers, manifested by both of the following: 

1. The child rarely or minimally seeks comfort when distressed. 

2. The child rarely or minimally responds to comfort when distressed. 

B. A persistent social or emotional disturbance characterized by at least two of the following: 

Minimal social and emotional responsiveness to others 

Limited positive affect 

Episodes of unexplained irritability, sadness, or fearfulness that are evident even during nonthreatening interactions with adult caregivers. 

C. The child has experienced a pattern of extremes of insufficient care as evidenced by at least one of the following: 

Social neglect or deprivation in the form of persistent lack of having basic emotional needs for comfort, stimulation, and affection met by caring adults 

Repeated changes of primary caregivers that limit opportunities to form stable attachments (e.g., frequent changes in foster care) 

Rearing in unusual settings that severely limit opportunities to form selective attachments (e.g., institutions with high child to caregiver ratios) 

D. The care in Criterion C is presumed to be responsible for the disturbed behavior in Criterion A (e.g., the disturbances in Criterion A began following the lack of adequate care in Criterion C). 

E. The criteria are not met for autism spectrum disorder. 

F. The disturbance is evident before age 5 years. 

G. The child has a developmental age of at least nine months. 

Specify if Persistent: The disorder has been present for more than 12 months. 

Specify current severity: Reactive Attachment Disorder is specified as severe when a child exhibits all symptoms of the disorder, with each symptom manifesting at relatively high levels. 

Kevin displays behavior that meets both criteria A and B. As a baby he cried constantly, reportedly even when held, showing an inability or unwillingness to be soothed. As a toddler he shows defiance, disinterest in social interaction, and a refusal to engage in play, such as when his mother is attempting to play with a ball with him and he refuses to roll the ball back or respond in any way, instead staring at her with a sullen expression. Kevin also refuses his mother’s pleas to say the word “Mommy”. As a slightly older child, Kevin continues to act defiantly and shows anger, ripping up the paper when his mother attempts to school him, immediately soiling his newly changed diapers on purpose, throwing food against the wall and onto tables, breaking his crayons, making nonsensical noises to irritate his mother, and destroying his mother’s artfully decorated room. When he is taken to the doctor to be examined, he shows no expression, does not speak, and stiffens his body. When his baby sister is born, he purposefully sprinkles water onto the newborn, causing her to cry. It should be noted however that in one instance Kevin seems to relax his cold exterior and accept comfort from his mother, shown by the scene in which he falls ill and cuddles with his mother while she reads him a story. He even apologizes for her having to clean up his throw-up. Unfortunately, as soon as he is feeling well again he is back to being rude and rejecting any attempt of hers to take care of him, refusing her help to change his clothes.  

As for criteria C, although Kevin has not experienced extreme abuse or neglect, I believe Kevin suffered from a traumatic birth as it was mentioned that his mother was resisting. His mother Eva did not desire a child, especially not one as difficult as Kevin, so she emotionally neglects him and is cold to him. Eva makes it very clear to him that he is unwanted, telling him straight to his face that she was happy before she gave birth to him and not correcting him when Kevin mentions that Eva does not like him. In one instance, she is accidentally too rough with him and breaks his arm, which Kevin later refers to as being the most honest thing she ever did. Kevin also meets the criteria of D through G, and his symptoms are persistent. I would say Kevin has moderate to severe symptoms as he does exhibit all listed symptoms quite regularly.  

I believe Kevin’s psychological problems may also have developed into conduct disorder (CD) as an adolescent and then antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) or psychopathy in adulthood, especially after taking into consideration the mutilation of his sister’s eye and the killing of his sister’s guinea pig, his father, his sister, and several classmates. He shows no guilt or empathy, appears to have shallow emotions besides anger, and shows no evidence of having affection or emotional bonds to anyone. He is also very manipulative; putting on a fake act of normalcy for his father, turning his parents against each other, and navigating the legal system to get his best outcome. However, I know that children with RAD can also be violent and if not treated, behave in a way very similar to conduct disorder in adolescence and ASPD or psychopathy in adulthood. The main reason I chose to focus on RAD over CD or ASPD is because I believe the root of Kevin’s problem is immense pain at being rejected and unloved as a child and that he harbors a deep desire to have that connection but is unable to accept affection.  He is so focused on and consumed by his anger towards his mother, while someone with true psychopathy may be more detached and indifferent. I also leaned more towards RAD given that he showed symptoms from such a young age and did not seem to have any problems outside of his issues with his mother, such as acting out in school or engaging in petty, impulsive crime. I do wish that the film showed more of his interaction with his peers. Lastly, I felt RAD was a more accurate choice because of the subtle signs of it that are associated more with RAD than CD, such as stiffening his body when others try to hug him, making nonsensical sounds, and not making eye contact as an infant, although that may not have been intentionally put in the film. Either way, his parents certainly needed to talk to professionals about Kevin when he was a child. Had they done so, perhaps they could have prevented the tragedy of both his life and the pain he inflicted on others.  

Response to tumblr ask:

I agree! I would have loved to see how he interacts at school, what he does when he’s alone and has spare time, and more of his childhood.

I think he had multiple reasons:

1- To make his mother suffer since he obviously has a lot of anger and resentment towards her

2- Because he doesn’t feel much positive emotion and gave up on ever feeling pleasure or enjoyment from regular life. Normal life is incredibly boring for him. He wanted to DO something- real, meaningful, make something happen. He wanted to Live. I very much relate.

3- He enjoys the attention he gets from it.

We talked about this in my forensic psych club- whether we should give interviews and all this attention to violent criminals. Our society is fascinated by them to the point where we make movies and books. People sell and collect memorabilia. They have fan-girls writing love letters and showing up to their court sessions, even fighting each other over them. It’s pretty crazy. But on the other hand, it’s important that we study them. Or is it? There’s a debate about everything.

4- His philosophy and world view. 

He is very nihilistic, he doesn’t believe life “means” anything and right/wrong doesn’t exist/is just a matter of opinion or viewpoint. His actions don’t really matter either, nothing does. I used to think exactly like he did when I was a teen, and I still do in a way.

As for your last question, it’s easy to forget one way of thinking when you’re in another. It’s hard to remember how one state was when you’re in a different one. Also, as shitty as outside life can be, life in prison is even shittier. Makes you appreciate the ability of choice and being able to do things, even just to walk around outside or buy an icecream cone. He was also only 15 at the time of the crime, and in the last scene he’s 18. A lot of chemical changes and neural development happens in that time. He matured- his way of thinking about himself, the world, and the others around him changed.