#but i COULD try to go back to sleep
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i wake up in the middle of a scenario in my head of just me gushing directly to russ about what his music has done for me and how much i love his voice and how beautiful of a person he is
#me#i woke up tooearly nooo i wanted to sleep more#but i COULD try to go back to sleep#buy i've also been saying that i hope i start waking up early again because i was loving that#but then i do and i'm like#NO I WANTED TO SLEEP#look if it was a normal day where i'm not doing anything i would love it#but i was tired yesterday from doing stuff so i was like I'LL GO TO BED EARLY AND GET SOME EXTRA SLEEP TO RECOVER#but then i wake up at like 4am anyway#it's now 5am#OKSY I'LL GET UP THEN I GUESS#at least russ in my brain starts me off on a good note today#I MOVED AND I'M SORE HELP#okay i'm fine
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coming back home after going through unimaginable hell the squeakuel
#shion got stuck w/ babysitting duty for the night so pearl and marina could have their oh so promised “us time” with one another lmao#anita is understandingly *very* concerned abt the whole thing and her gf but is just glad she's back home in one piece#splatoon#splatoon 3#side order#side order spoilers#slight ones but still there#agent 8#agent 4#smollusk#oc: anita#oc: shion#my art shit#couldn't sleep so i drew this silly thing#it's almost 5am so im gonna go back to bed and try to catch some zzz's now
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THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY ONE
first song you heard — Mary On A Cross
September 1969; Papa Nihil and the beginning of the Ghost Project take to the stage at the Whiskey a Go Go club in Los Angeles, under the watchful eye of Sister Imperator. Fifty-three years later, in Tampa, Florida, Papa Emeritus the Fourth performs Mary On A Cross, unaware that he is singing the story of his parents—and that of himself.
#note: i'm aware this song is about so much more than the fictional ghost story. just really enjoying that aspect of it rn#very nearly didn't do this series because some people are a bit silly about fans who heard moac as the first song. i'm owning it sdkjcksh#it wasn't the song that made me a fan as i will show in the next post but moac slaps so hard and#if you only like moac and nothing else you're still a ghestie to me <3#not my fault i was on instagram in autumn of 2022#i was going through some stuff then and listening to clips of this pretty song on random videos was something i enjoyed#didn't know the name of it or who sung it but kept hearing it at 4am when i couldn't sleep and everything was falling apart around me#when all i could do was try to escape it until the morning#i feel a bit stupid saying this but when i listen to it now and remember hearing it back then#it's like ghost was there for me even when i didn't know it#waiting for me to find them and everything their music would teach me#until the time was right#ghost31#papa emeritus iv#the band ghost#papa nihil#sister imperator#mary on a cross#user copia edits#user copia all tag#wait for the next tags i'm also tagging:#rite here rite now spoilers#i'm emotional about their messed up little family finding each other right at the very end. they never let each other go#flashing gif#<- ig
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9-1-1 SEASON 8, EPISODE 6 "CONFESSIONS"
What if it's called that because the entire episode takes place at church, with Eddie speaking with Hot Priest through the confessional...
And all the calls and everything else are "flashbacks" related to the reason that brought Eddie to the church, to Hot Priest, to the confessional...
And either the last scene is of Buck and Eddie after Eddie gets back from speaking with Hot Priest and he helps him shave...
OR...
Buck helps Eddie shave and it sparks the reason why Eddie runs to the church in the first place.
And the entire time we've been hearing Eddie’s voice but haven't seen him, until...
"Forgive me father for I have sinned."
"What is your sin, my child?"
Eddie leans forward, out of the shadows and into the light to reveal his freshly shaven face. "I've fallen in love with my best friend."
Episode cuts to black. Roll credits. Preview for next week.
#9-1-1 on abc#911 abc#911 on abc#eddie diaz#gay eddie diaz#911 spec#buck x eddie#evan 'buck' buckley#buddie#this is the kind of shit that jolts my brain just as I'm trying to go to sleep lmao#i was thinking about hot WAITER#and how he is probably. waiter at the 7x05 restaurant#and i was thinking how COULD or WHY would we be flashing back#and then it hit me#the narrative structure for 8x06 is eddie giving his confessional at church#all culminating in him realizing he is in love with buck#with an obvious fakeout of him being there because he thinks he is a terrible father#the parental issues are a red herring to disguise the being closeted#and yeah yeah there's a maddie buck and josh scene it can still make sense just give me a couple days lol#maybe buck was telling eddie what they spoke about and asks for his opinion#a story within a story#there you go
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terrible influence is the most accurate show name ever bc why was i cooking dinner and seriously considering if i would be able to get to the oslo show tomorrow and then back home the same day
#i have to be honest.. if i wasnt working at the asscrack of dawn on tuesday i probably would go#/had realized i would go insane and would have at least tried to switch shifts with someone on tuesday#but it’s too late and working a 6 hour shift on no sleep doesnt sound good#because. listen. there is a bus that could take me back tomorrow night 😭#im starting to try and justify it OH NO but like i couldddd sleep for almost 4 hours on the bus probably#this is so bad#nebulae.speaks#dan howell#phil lester#dan and phil#phan#tit tour#terrible influence tour
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Istg since dancing stolitz became canon I am gonna start to believe that stargazing stolitz will be a thing too in the future 🌠
#its possible right????#otherwise how could they fucking top the dancing scene SERIOUSLY#helluva boss#stolitz#I was trying to sleep but i cant lol#ok i go back to sleep....hopefully#too much emotions to deal with#personal
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joel etho single dads au .........
#esp if we go w liml family#etho with scar and bdubs at the park#joel with hermes#their kids meet and become best friends and keep begging for five more minutes until theyre the last ones at the park#so joel and etho inevitably meet and start talking because theyre both hella bored waiting for their kids#and joel lowk kinda cannot stand etho#hes like “igh this guy is sooo pretentious i could sense it from a mile away. who does he think he is with that stupid white hair”#“newsflash it doesnt make you look cool it makes you look old as hell”#(but he doesnt say any of this)#(obviously)#and it works best if etho is totally oblivious#dude is just waiting 2 drop off scar n bdubs back home2 cleo so he can try2 get the Good Nights SleepTM hes been chasing since he was a bab#then they find out their kids go to the same school#and so obviously joel has decided to make it his mission in life to one up everything etho does#at this point etho is fully aware and finds it hilarious#because he is an Expert in these things okay. hes been making brownies for scar's bake sales since before hermes was Born#and joel can try as hard as he can but he just Cannot reach that level.#he can make as many cupcakes as he wants but none of them r gonna beat the gooey deliciousness of ethos chocolate chip triple layer brownie#and that is just soooo infuriating to him. his blood is boilimg at Every Single Parent Led Bake Sale Ever#and its even worse because etho looks like hes about to spontaneously combust at any possible second#his hair is a mess. deepppp eyebags. hes been running on maybe an hour of sleep every night for the past what eight years???#but hes sooo consistently perfect at everything.#joel hates him.#but like they also have to put up with each other at playdates and parties and whatnot because i repeat their kids are Best Friends#aughhh idk theres some potential there. i promise im just not getting it across very well#nya talks#trafficblr#hermitblr#joel smallishbeans
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Do you think baby Cole ever became so sick and Lilly panicked, thought it was her fault and cried beside the sleeping baby?..
She herself grew up as a sickly child, her father would be so worried that she might just die one day because her immune system was so weak. Seeing Cole get sick like that as a few months old baby, she knows why it's happening and she is blaming herself, thinking she passed her curse on him. History is going to repeat, that's what she thinks despite knowing Cole is growing up under better conditions. And Lilly wasn't sick when she gave birth to Cole and passed shortly after, like her mother did.
None of these stop her from crying beside the baby though. She knows she survived her fragile baby days because of her powers healing her, and he has her powers now, yet she is worrying deeply for Cole's health. She wouldn't handle losing her baby because she passed him her terrible immune system.
#she doesn't even think about what not being healed by the element is going to do to her from now on#she just wants Cole to be healthy...#i can see her wake in the middle of the night as if she slept any and standing beside her baby#having all these thoughts then crying#she wouldn't tell those thoughts to Lou until he catches her crying by Cole's tiny bed#he doesn't have to ask he just can guess#he lets her cry it out#trying to soothe her#remember i said she didn't even realise what not having the powers could mean to her?#well Lou certainly keeps that in mind#he is actually worrying so much for both of them#but one of them needs to hold tears they have a sick baby to take care of#so he sends her to sleep#even though she tries to refuse many times#he spends the night going back and forth#checking in on both of them#ninjago#ninjago fanfiction#ninjago cole#ninjago lilly#ninjago lou#cole brookstone#cole ninjago
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the other day I was looking for the Zayn interview from a few years ago where he tells the interviewer he's going to the bathroom and then they look over and are like "oh um he's in the parking lot... oh. aaand he's getting in a car and leaving" and I found it (GQ) but on the way I ran into the interview where Vogue (who run the met gala) are like so did you like the met gala wasn't the met gala fun and he goes off for like 4 paragraphs about how much he disliked it and how it's the epitome of everything he dislikes about being a celebrity and then at the end is like oh wait shit... I mean Gigi was good though, and that was also the interview where he said he'd made his peace with there always being paps in front of his apartment when he realized that instead of doing promo he could just go out his front door for like two minutes and call it done and my point is: I know many of you are new, maybe are just here for Louis, but I need you to know HOW FUCKING FUNNY Zayn is, like genuinely he is SO FUN to follow and I just really recommend, 10/10 celeb entertainment
#also so gd sweet#a fuckboy#but a tender soul#also the time he said he was gonna do lives every night for a week and did 2 and then just never came back#one of them was just him listening to his album and smoking weed and you couldn't hear anything he said#and the other one he spent most of the time trying to figure out how to do funny fonts#and when he did the ad for coors where it was just a loop of him sleeping for hours#I could go on and on....
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It took me like two hours to process that Caleb's description of dunamis actually was somewhat new information and then go back to grab the transcription because, uh, both "form of magic that exists between the fabric of all of forces of power" and "one of the oldest and most fundamental forces" are far more confidently firm descriptions than we ever got in campaign 2.
Was I actually roughly correct about what dunamis was??? HELLO???
VINDICATION?!?!
#like LISTEN it does feel like the obvious conclusion but HELLO??????#CAN WE GO BACK TO THAT???#i am choosing to believe that Caleb is too focused on the world ending to notice Ashton's head but UM. COULD WE DISCUSS THIS?#I'm never gonna be normal again. anyway.#straight up the universe was like 'megs is in hell week. yanno what she needs? motherfucking wizards.'#I'M SO USED TO GIVING AND NOW I GET TO RECEIVE#critical role#cr spoilers#caleb widogast#like yeah yeah i got all overly poetic and flowery about it but like ON A FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL THIS WAS BASICALLY WHAT I MEANT#and tbh i do think you have to veer slightly toward my concept in order to really explain consecution BUT ANYWAY#i need to sleep. i will not get to sleep but. i should try.#anyway glad to see my boi clearly did not have to give up his whole life's work he's doing so well 😌#hope he is holed up in the Lavorres' spare room until Ludinus is dead 😌
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I hate love him don't look at me
Kinda nervous to post this tbh. Just because of the uh. Rep he has w/ fans ( either love or hate him which both is valid ) but eh. I won't be posting them much but here's uh. a thing I did.
#I ACTUALLY wanna punt him into the sun /affectionate#catch me falling for anyone who isn't emotionally venerable and I could help them with their feelings#I actually despise that this is my type.#Once I'm finished my food I'm gonna try going back to sleep#house is quiet again yippie#ᛝ 💥💜🐰 ᛝ I just wanna be somebody to you ᛝ#ᛝ⛓️🎪🕹️ ᛝ cybernated circus act ᛝ#( ^ᵕ^)⊃✎__#(˶The.Amazing.Digital.Circus˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ
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I think Jmart would work really well in a Pride and Prejudice au bc I think Jon proposing to Martin while insulting him would be funny.
#a talking bunkat#jmart#tma#The question of who else close to him Jon would be insulting remains. Martin doesn't have a lot of family like Elizabeth#which could be interesting#Also I don't want to write a period piece so like. I would have to make office politics the equivalent of 17th century social hierarchy#but like in other ways it works so well. Tim as Mr. Bingley would be perfect. And Elias could be. Mr. Wickem I guess?#I guess actually that Elias and Jonah could be different characters...#Hm. Something to think about I guess.#Sasha would take Jane's role and then I'd have to come up with a reason for Jon to sabotage her and Tim's relationship...#WAIT UNLESS I CAN WORK NOTSASHA INTO THIS ALSO. And Jon's season 2 paranoia.#Hm. Much to think about.#Martin showing up to Jon's house (the Archives) uninvited on some kind of like. Tour? For a class? Martin goes back to school au?#And obviously Jon doesn't have a sister like Mr. Darcy so Martin meets... Daisy?? WAIT GEORGIE I'M AN IDIOT THEY EVEN HAVE THE SAME NAME-#Hm. Miss. Bingley who would she be... like of I was going purely based on actual relationship it would be Danny but I'm not doing that#I mean we have no evidence that Danny WOULDNT try and get with Jon for his money/social status but let's be fucking real here for a second.#Idk. Literally no one other then Martin is interested in Jon in any romantic way.#anyway none of this matters I should go to sleep.
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some postgame doodles for pride month
#martzipan#komahina#hajime hinata#nagito komaeda#domestic kmhn likers pspspsps cmere#i never draw just fluff/domestic things bc i get too in my feelings lmao. this one was no exception#i had to take a break midway through bc i got sappy. IT'S OK THO we got it done :3#neways these tie into some headcanons of mine so i'm gonna share 'em here#mainly i hc them having little ways where they just look out for each other#komaeda is usually the only one who can convince hinata to take a goddamn break without having to forcefully drag him away from his work#bc hinata does NOT take enough breaks. and he does not listen to reason#until there is a komaeda who is tired and can't go to sleep without his human teddy bear :((( can't let him go to bed aloneeee#n i think hinata just. casually feeds komaeda ALL the time#bc he won't eat enough on his own. and if you offer him food he'll be inclined to see it as a nicety and try to reject it#but if you just. Put Food In Front Of His Mouth. he'll eat it#it's kind of a reflex like komaeda doesn't realize he's being fed most of the time#they take care of each other bc they won't take care of themselves otherwise lmao. it's a little dysfunctional but they're trying#i think once they've recovered enough to be able to just enjoy each other's company they get REALLY really giggly#they have a lot of teenage/young adult love stuff to catch up on and since they didn't really have a puppy love phase. they laugh a lot#they'll try to do something tender or sweet but then one of them will start to laugh. and then it's not long before the other breaks#komaeda usually breaks first. bc he's always in awe of just how happy he is. bc he never thought he COULD be this happy#not without hell looming just over the horizon anyways#when hinata breaks first it's bc he's thinking of how much they've both been through and put each other through#and he's just sort of like 'how the fuck did we end up here'#(btw komaeda snorts when he's trying not to laugh. this is just fact trust me)#OH AND I HAVE MANY HEADCANONS ABT THEIR SLEEP STUFFS#as stated hinata runs hot and komaeda runs cold. but ALSO#hinata's a sprawler. komaeda gets Clingy. it works out for them tho#if komaeda doesn't have hinata to hold like a body pillow he'll curl into the tightest little ball. it gives him back pain lmao#oh and yes. they absolutely wake up with their legs incredibly tangled together
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i washed my hair n took a walk yesterday for the first time in a while so i am feeling unstoppable like maybe i will turn around my life this week wish me luck !
#that sounds like nothing but if u guys could see the way i have been living for like the past month😭 i can barely leave my room n the eatin#situation is so bad. there’s no place to go but up like! like the koala from sing said#i’m going to try to motivate myself to walk everyday n go to the library n clean my room n i have to go grocery shopping n maybe i will do#that animal crossing puzzle i have😭#i’m going to delete the tumblr app n try not to use my phone so much i will be back in a few days 🙏#wait also i thought of making a schedule for myself so i know what to do through out the day but first i need to see if i have the energy#to even do the minimum 😭#i really have to fix my sleeping schedule too. i go to sleep at 6 am 😑#if u see me back here tomorrow it’s bc i lost motivation sodjsksd#.txt
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fb17f1c64aef404ac672bf35df93b57a/b1414d8358b61041-96/s540x810/5d140bbf30a9dca1ab2b7805ccdb563ee157aeaa.jpg)
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Eugh ignore these—doodled it lazily late at night and passed out afterwards, hence the really terrible quality. Doesn’t help that these papers are not graphite friendly and decide to smear every time I wanna erase. Honestly I should’ve seen it coming given how the sketchbook is advertised for markers, but I wouldn’t have expected it to be THAT picky with pencil. Oh well. I dunno enjoy whatever this is if you can even manage to follow along. No I will not rewrite it in a more concise way sorry lol
#Ah yes disorganized mess of doodles strikes again. Usually I don’t even bother posting these#but I’m trying to be less caught up on things looking good and just go for it nowadays#oh Puzzle if only I could recreate your dialogue in an authentic way#would be nice#also gonna reiterate that doing self-insert stuff isn’t typical for me#however I find the idea of two burnt out creatives hanging out and ignoring basic needs to be fun#(for record I’m not trying to promote unhealthy habits it’s just how we are currently. Don’t normalize sleep deprivation :P)#(….but it does make for neat dynamics jskjsksp)#the rectangles are supposed to signify a laptop (or old typewriter or some kind idk) and iPad#however in the doodles it kinda just looks like a random block floating around#that’s my bad—got lazy and tired and can’t communicate objects clearly when there’s lack of detail#I’m taking baby steps to getting back art motivation here <<#doodles
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Bad news guys, the downs aren't going back up
#Tbh things haven't been great#I've been trying to keep my head level but if you know me you know I can't swim#Trying to lighten the mood aside#Sometimes I wish the ground could reclaim me#Like if the dirt could pull me in and keep me there for just a little while maybe things wouldn't seem so bad once I got back out#I don't want to talk about what's going on around me in too much detail because getting super personal on an app still scares me#But I like listing my thoughts here#Calms me down a little#Even if my nerves are acting up as I type#Idk what it is about sharing my feelings that gets me so nervous#If you're reading this#Hi#I see you#And you see me#This is scary for me#Because I'm struggling a bunch on the inside#Things that used to comfort me no longer do#It feels like I'm both numb and oozing#i should sleep
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