#but hugh stays behind…..and nellie poor nellie is still dead

[katierosefun]

something about horror something about tragedy something about that moment when the characters think they’re safe, they’ve escaped the clutches of the fate planned for them, they’ve escaped the haunted house or something but then they realize that someone is missing or they realize that the ghost is still there, just biding its time for the others to come back, or maybe they turn around just as they’re about to reach the exit, something about horror something about tragedy something about no matter how hard the characters try to escape the thing haunting them, there’s no other way to end the story, the end of the story was decided from the start, she was dead since the beginning and etc

[songtoyou]

Epiphany - Part Three

Paring: Luke Crain x Female Reader

Chapter Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3,136

Warnings: Talks of drug use and recovery.

Description: Life has never been easy for Luke Crain. After the death of Nell, Luke realizes that he needs to make some changes. He decided to stay in Massachusetts and attend rehab. He was determined to remain on his path of sobriety. When you get assigned to be Luke’s sponsor, it opens a new door of possibilities that neither you nor Luke expected.  

A/N: We learn a little bit more about the Reader as she heads to Shirley's for dinner.  Awkwardness occurs, but Reader slowly realizes she may have deeper feelings for Luke or possibly develop feelings for him. Which she quickly dismisses. This chapter was very easy to write. It was like the words just flowed out of me and onto the screen. That usually never happens. I think it helps that Luke is such an interesting character to write for, along with the other Crain siblings. 

Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.

Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people are actually liking this fic.

I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

~Hill House – 1992~

“Mommy,” spoke Nellie.

“What is it, sweetie?” asked Olivia. She placed her book down to give her youngest child her undivided attention.

Nell got up on her mother’s lap and said, “This house is too loud.”

“Too loud? What do you mean it is too loud? Are you talking about all of the work daddy is doing to fix the house?” Olivia questioned. Nell’s statement took her by surprise.

Shaking her head, Nell explained that it was not the renovations that Hugh was doing that made the house loud. “At night, there are noises. Dogs are barking. You can hear the floorboards squeak like someone is up walking the halls at night. When Luke and I checked to see if anyone was up, there was no one. Everyone was in bed. It isn’t just me who thinks this house is weird. Luke says it has a smell.”

“Sweetie, this is an ancient house. Weird noises and bad smells are bound to occur,” replied Olivia earnestly. “Trust me. There is nothing in this house that can hurt you. Not while your daddy and I are around. We will always protect you and your brothers and sisters. Okay.”

Nell looked up at her mother with her big hazel eyes and said, “You promise?”

“Pinky promise,” Olivia assured and held up her right pinky. With their little fingers intertwined, Olivia rested her head on Nell’s forehead. No one could deny that Olivia loved her children very much. They were her whole world. She would do anything to keep them safe from harm. Little did anyone know how far Olivia would go to keep her children safe.

“Fuck,” Luke let out and sighed. He was currently working on his final essay for his creative writing class. The assignment was to write a 1,000 essay about an event that happened in their life and turn it into a story. Luke was chop full of moments to choose from; however, he was unsure if writing about his mother and sister was appropriate. He talked with his instructor about his reservations on the subject. He did not want to be accused of copying Steve on writing about Hill House. To Luke, that time at Hill House was just as much his story as it was Steve’s, or Theo’s and Shirley’s.

But with the right encouragement and support, Luke felt more comfortable writing about his past. It turned out to be very therapeutic. He was finally able to complete the fourth step of recovery: ‘Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.’ He sent letters to each of his siblings, expressing his gratitude for their support and apologized for his past behavior of lying, untrustworthiness, and addiction. Shirley and Theo were appreciative of the letters, along with Steve. All three of the older Crain continued to express to Luke that they were proud of him for staying on the straight and narrow path. The Crain siblings knew they all had a clean slate to restore their once broken family.  

Unfortunately, there would be times where Luke worried that everything would come to a crashing halt. That he would wake in the Red Room once again. That all of this could be fake like His sobriety, the strengthened relationships with his siblings, being in school, and most of all, his friendship with you. The Red Room was the stomach of Hill House, as Nell mentioned. It would eventually eat anything and everyone that came into its residence. It was how the world between the dead and the living coexisted.

He brought this fear up the day before you were to come over to Shirley’s house for dinner. The one thing Luke really appreciated about you was that you always validated his feelings. You never doubted his feelings or worries. You never tried to gaslight him or thought he was making stuff up. It was refreshing to have someone believe him right off the bat. Well, besides Nell. She always believed him. You sent Luke some articles about how the brain can differentiate between reality and imagination. It was intriguing for Luke to read about the way the brain processes information. You shared that you had the same issues early on in your sobriety.

“For me, while I am dreaming, the way I can differentiate that it is not reality is that sometimes I have trouble walking in dreams. It is like my legs are refusing to work,” you told Luke. “I looked up what that meant, and it indicates that I am hesitant in proceeding forward in situations or I am trying to distance myself from facing certain life experiences, which didn’t surprise me. We all have obstacles that we don’t always want to face.”

“That is good to know. Lately, I have been dreaming that I can’t dial a phone. Like, I am trying to put in the number but keep making mistakes, or I can’t remember the number. It’s weird. What do you think that means?” asked Luke.

You told him to hold on as you looked up his concern. “It says that ‘the non-working phone or the inability to dial the phone indicates a breakdown of communication. Or the feeling of being distant or not heard when you need help. Is this the first time having these dreams?” you asked Luke.

Letting out a sigh, Luke responded, “Yes, which is weird to have them now. I don’t feel like I am having trouble communicating. Maybe it is my self-consciousness that has some issues it still needs to resolve. Before that, I would dream that my teeth would fall out. I actually dreamt about them falling out last night.”

“I used to have those dreams too. There are different meanings behind teeth falling out in dreams. Sometimes it is associated with loss, important life changes, a feeling of powerlessness, or stress, anxiety, depression, and poor personal health,” you provided to Luke.

Luke chuckled. “I have experienced all of that and more. I guess it is part of the course.”

To say that Luke had some anxiety about tonight's dinner with Shirley, Theo, and you would have been an understatement. The last thing Luke wanted was a repeat of the dinner with Joey, Steve, and Leigh. Granted, his sister-in-law was nice that night; however, his brother, not so much. Of course, that was when he and Steve did not have the best of relationships. This would be different. You definitely were not like Joey and his sisters…well…that is why he put forth some rules.

He was watching Shirley move back and forth in the kitchen as she prepared dinner. She asked Luke about possible meals that you would like so she could make something that you would enjoy. Luke shared that you liked almost everything and that you were not too picky of an eater. Shirley decided on making lasagna as it was Kevin and her kids' favorite dishes of hers. As she was already finishing up the last layer, Luke did not have the heart to inform Shirley that lasagna was not one of your favorite foods.

Soon, Theo walked through the front door of Shirley's house carrying additional groceries. "I got the wine. It's red. Your friend can drink wine?" she asked Luke as she set down the bags on the counter.

Luke mentioned that you do not drink. "Oh well, more for me," teased Theo.

Shirley confirmed with Luke that you would bring dessert. She wanted everything nice for tonight. She knew this was important for Luke, and he wanted everything to go right just as well.

"Now that you both are here, can we go over some ground rules for tonight," said Luke.

"Come on, Luke. It's just dinner with your sponsor," Theo spoke up.

"No, Theo, this isn't just dinner with my sponsor. This is dinner with my friend. Someone who I have come greatly respect and admire. I don't want either of you…to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. No interrogations or psychoanalyzing," Luke ordered.

"Okay, Luke. We promise not to step out of bounds," Shirley assured. "Right, Theo?"

Holding up the girl scout's sign, "I, Theodora Crain, pledge not to embarrass you in any way."

As Shirley and Theo stifled laughs about their little brother's worry, Luke leaned against the counter and contemplated on the next thing to tell them. He decided to the best way was, to be honest with them. Luke interrupted his sisters' conversation to inform them that he told you about Hill House…about everything that occurred.

"You what?" Shirley questioned, unsure of what he actually meant. "What do you mean? What did you share?"

"When you say everything…do you mean everything, everything?" asked Theo with a hint of irritation in her voice.

"She knows what really happened to mom, Nell, and dad," Luke replied and mentioned that it was important for him to tell you the truth. "I don't regret it. If the two of you are upset, then be upset with me. Just don't take it out on her, okay." He wanted Shirley and Theo to understand that you meant well. That you had no ulterior motives. "This isn't like Nell and her shrink. I know, deep down, that you were worried about that being a possibility, Theo."

The light slam of the oven door made Theo and Luke turn their attention to Shirley. "Okay, lasagna is in the oven. It should be done when our guest arrives. Luke, do you mind setting the table. Theo, start making the salad," Shirley ordered. This night was important for Luke, and by golly, she was going to see that it goes accordingly.

“Mom…Dad, I’m heading out. I should be home by 9 o’clock or earlier if tonight goes south,” You shouted while putting on your jacket. Before you could grab your keys and head out the door, your mother popped in suddenly from the kitchen.

“Honey, where are you going?”

You could not stop the annoyed sigh from escaping. “I told you. I’m going over to Luke’s for dinner tonight. I have told you and Dad this many times already. Now, I don’t want to be late…”

“Hold up there, kiddo. You don’t forget this,” Your dad emerged with the cake box.

“Oh shit! Thanks. I can’t believe I almost forgot the dessert.” You grabbed the cake box and made your way back towards the front door.

“Call us when you get there, sweetie,” requested your mother.

“I’ll text you when I get Shirley’s house, okay. Now, I have to get going.”

“Ask Luke if he would like to come over here for dinner,” your mother offered.  “I know your father, and I would love to meet him.”

“Mom now is not the time. I’m out of here. Love you both. Don’t wait up,” You replied and walked out the door to your car. Letting out another sigh, you started the care and proceeded to drive to Luke’s.

You knew that your parents meant well. They loved you very much. While there were times both could be very overbearing, you understood where it came from and could not fault them for it. It was just them being protective of you. At the end of the day, they would always worry about you. The constant worries your mother and father felt towards you could be jarring at times. All you wanted for them was to trust you fully. However, it shamed you the number of times you let them down. Luke shared with you the troubles he had with completing the fourth step. You told him you were not able to tackle it until the first year of your sobriety.

“We have all done shitty things to the people we love. To the people who stood by us while we walked all over them. I’m surprised my parents stood by me for so long. Sometimes I wished they had given up and just let me go to die on the streets,” you revealed honestly to Luke the night after going to the movies. “They didn’t deserve the constant Hell I put them through. I because I couldn’t handle certain…things… feelings…. emotions. The problem was…that I felt weak if I wasn’t taking heroin. Shooting up made me feel invincible. Like, nothing could touch me. I guess you know that feeling all too well, huh, Luke?”

“Yeah. I guess that is why we choose to shoot up in the first place. To not feel like ourselves. In some cases, to not feel at all. I know for me, it was to get some sense of peace,” Luke countered truthfully.

For some reason, it felt like it took longer than usual to arrive at Shirley’s house, which would have normally taken ten minutes. Every traffic light seemed to turn red as soon as you got closer. When you finally reached your destination, a quick text was sent off to your parents to let them know you arrived safely. Gathering your bag and cake box, you exited the car and walked the front doorsteps. You rang the doorbell and waited.

Thankfully, it was Luke who answered the door with a sweet smile on his face.

“Hi,” he said and ushered you to come inside.

“Hey,” you replied, wiping your shoes before stepping in the house.

You handed over the cake box to Luke, who then asked, “What kind of dessert did you bring?”

“Baklava cheesecake. It is a new item at the bakery that we’re selling.”

“Sounds really good. Uh, look, just fair warning,” Luke began to speak in a whisper, “Shirley made lasagna. I hope that is okay. I know it’s…”

“It’s fine, Luke. I can muster up the courage to eat lasagna for one night,” you answered with a light chuckle.

As you hung up your coat and bag, Shirley and Theo entered the foyer. Both said hello, and Theo introduced herself. Luke stood back as he eyed his sisters closely to make sure they both remained on their best behavior.

“It is nice to meet you finally. Luke has been keeping you all to himself, so we are glad you could come over,” Theo mentioned while leading you into the kitchen to get you something to drink. Shirley took the cake box from Luke and followed the two women.

“Oh wow!” exclaimed Shirley when she opened the box. “This looks really good. Did you make this?”

“No. Sophie, the owner of the bakery I work at did. She does most of the actual baking. I help with cake decorations. She’s a longtime family friend, so I work there to help out when she needs it,” you shared as Theo handed you a glass of iced tea.

“How about we go sit in the living room,” Shirley instructed everyone out of the kitchen. “We have about fifteen minutes until dinner is ready.”

You sat next to Luke on the loveseat while Shirley and Theo took the couch. An awkward silence ensued, with no one really knowing what to say. You could feel each of the Crain siblings’ emotions, which ranged from curiosity from Theo, indifference from Shirley, and anxiousness from Luke. You felt a strong urge to reach out to Luke to help calm him, whether it be holding his hand, linking your arm with his, or placing a gentle hand on his knee. It was a weird feeling for you to have since Luke was not only your friend but mentee. Now a sense of guilt took over you.

You were Luke’s sponsor. There is no way you could develop any deeper feelings for the man sitting next to you other than friends. It would be unethical. Luke trusted you. Breaking his trust or misguiding him would lead to a horrible conclusion. It could lead to the ultimate betrayal. When you felt a pair of eyes on you, it made you look up to see Theo staring as she took sips of her drink. You could tell she was assessing you in any way she could. You noticed the gloves on her hands, which reminded you of the story Luke shared about Theo’s ability to feel emotions through touch. You are tempted to say, “fuck it!” and give Theo your hand for her to take to get it out of the way.

“So…,” Shirley spoke up when she said your name, “Luke shared with us that you attend Middlesex Community College as an art major.”

“Yes. Studio art, to be exact. My mom really would rather I do graphic design, though.  So, I might do that when I get this degree program wrapped up,” you revealed.

Awkward silence resumed. “I have some of her artwork,” Luke piped up. “It is amazing. Like, crazy good.”

“Where did you learn how to draw?” Shirley asked.

“It was just something that I always liked doing. It helped calm me when I was…not feeling the best. I guess during my stints at different rehabs throughout the years helped…build up my artistic skills,” you replied.

You noticed Luke began shaking his right leg at the mention of rehab. You reached out to touch his left arm, and he looked over at you. “Have either of you read any of Luke’s stories he has written for school?” you asked Shirley and Theo.

“No!” Theo piped in and added, “Our little brother tends to keep his writings all to himself.”

“Well, from what he has shared with me, he is an excellent writer,” you stated. “Did you tell them about the ‘A’ you got on your last assignment?”

“Uh…no. I hadn’t,” Luke said and immediately got up from the couch. “Hey, shouldn’t dinner be done, Shirley?”

“Oh shoot. That is right. Let me go get the lasagna out of the oven.”

“I’ll get the salad and bread on the table,” asserted Theo and followed Shirley back into the kitchen.

Luke let out the breath he was holding and turned to look at you.

“Are you okay, Luke?” you asked him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“You three seem a tad on edge. Is there any safe topic your family can talk about?” you enquired.

“Not really. I know them. They want to ask you about your addiction story and how you overcame it…all that stuff.”

“You know what…fuck it. Let’s you and I control the conversation by talking about the things we talk about, like movies, television shows, music, books…all of the stuff we talk about regularly. If your sisters join in, then that is great—the more, the merrier. But let’s not waste a whole evening because we’re worried about what your sisters think of me…or you,” you encouraged Luke.

Letting out another breath, Luke agreed. “Okay, that sounds good. You take the lead, and I’ll follow.”

“Will do,” you smiled and pushed Luke towards the dining room.