#am currently listening to the haunting of hill house soundtrack again

[katierosefun]

something about horror something about tragedy something about that moment when the characters think they’re safe, they’ve escaped the clutches of the fate planned for them, they’ve escaped the haunted house or something but then they realize that someone is missing or they realize that the ghost is still there, just biding its time for the others to come back, or maybe they turn around just as they’re about to reach the exit, something about horror something about tragedy something about no matter how hard the characters try to escape the thing haunting them, there’s no other way to end the story, the end of the story was decided from the start, she was dead since the beginning and etc

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #274

“now i can hear the marching feet / they’re moving into the street”

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? I only have a black one. Is your dream job attainable? I mean define “dream job.” I’d ideally be a meerkat biologist if I was willing to live in Africa and could handle even mild heat, but I can’t/won’t do either of those, so it’s not obtainable to me. I’d also love to be a paleontologist if I could travel and handle heat once more, but again, I can’t. My only *attainable* dream job is being a photographer, which I am aiming for. I’d LIKE to focus on nature/wildlife photography, but that’s unlikely to be able to support me, so. Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? N/A Have you slept for longer than usual today? Yes, but only because of my nightmares. I tend to take at least two (though sometimes one) hour-long naps during the day because if I wake up once during the night, as I usually do, I’m fucked because I’m very likely to have an intense nightmare. It seems like the medicine I’m on wears off with consciousness, I guess. I only allow myself to sleep an hour at daytime because my mother has noticed if I have a nightmare, it’s usually no earlier than one hour into sleep. Even then I still have them occasionally. Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? Recorder in elementary school was necessary for whatever stupid reason, and then I played the flute for years. Out of school, I took guitar lessons for a while. I got semi-decent (at best I could do the intro to “Crazy Train” at normal speed, I think), but it didn’t last because it was annoying/time-consuming to build up the calluses that make playing painless, I was really bad at overthinking where my fingers were, and I just wasn’t invested quite enough. I’ll tell you, it gave me mad respect for guitarists, that shit isn’t easy by any means. Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? Yes, though it was brief. I was a kid (okay, pre-teen, w/e) still in my separation anxiety from Mom phase and it was literally because of me we had to go home. I still feel shitty about it, though no one seemed upset at me. How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? Who the fuck even knows anymore. Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? No; N/A; yes ultimately but no at the current moment because I have to keep watch over Mom. If you wear make-up, which brand of foundation/powder do you use? N/A Would you call yourself a “people” person? Nope. What is one change you need to make in your life this month? Just one??? What’s been tugging on your heart lately? My PTSD plus self-image has been very, very bad. What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? Mom had to clean up my cat’s projectile vomit even though she’s supposed to stay away from this kinda stuff through chemo. I literally cannot fucking touch vomit, never mind what came out of him that night. I felt like absolute fucking shit and I still do because WOW I’m a great adult right!! Do you have any physical traits that are bothering you lately? Like, everything. What kind of dog is your favorite? I’m biased to beagles. What was the last thing you received in the mail? A book. What is the last thing you wrote? Like, physically? My signature at the doctor’s office. Do you still care about the person you first kissed? Way fucking more than I should. Do you require a lot of private time? Definitely more than most people. Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? I haven’t listened to it in forever for ~reasons~, yet “The Mortician’s Daughter” is stuck in my head badly and really needs to fuck off. What was the last song you downloaded? I dunno, I went on a download binge a while back. Have you ever read a really funny book? I remember at least one. “Bite Me” by IDR-Who. Some vampire satire. Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? Never reached the point of being drunk. How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? fuckin YIKES I am NOT attractive rn go away Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? HAHA my mom has always had the decency to knock, not so much his mom a;lwkejrewoei but the answer’s still no. What electronics are in your room? (DVD player, CD player, etc) This laptop, my phone, a Nintendo DS, my iPod… Do you have a box anywhere with special items you'll to keep forever in it? Yes, actually. Grew up calling them “treasure boxes.” Do you have any pictures of yourself on your bedroom walls? Lol no, I’d definitely prefer to not see myself as much as I can. That sounds melodramatic, but I’m being serious. It either depresses me or makes me angry. Does your dad collect anything? The Cleveland Browns’ football team stuff, for one. Maybe Carolina Hurricane stuff, too? Idk. I don’t live with him and don’t go in his “man cave” at his house often ha ha. What's better, a desktop or laptop? Explain. A laptop. Portable; that’s all the explanation ya really need. Do your parents still hide chocolate eggs around on Easter for you? Nah. What do you typically do on Easter Day? We go to my sister’s house to watch the kids do their egg hunting and open their gifts, then we usually go to Ashley’s in-laws’ for dinner. Is there anyone you literally need to exist? Apparently not. Thought so. Never let yourself into that state of mind. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand-written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? Oh, a hand-written poem would wreck me, yeesh. Or a drawing. But any would be very sweet. Do you remember why you made the last mistake you did? I don’t know the most recent mistake, but probably because I’m just in general a terrified person who second-guesses or overanalyzes everything. Did you check how many calories the last thing you ate had? Yes. I’m back on my calorie-counting obsession again. Are your nails long or short? Short, always. I can’t keep them long. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Just the ordinary chocolate chip is fine. What was the last compliment you received? I don’t know. Who will be the next person you kiss? I normally delete this question because the answer should be so obvious, but I feel like just pointing it out that no one fucking knows who they’re gonna kiss next. It’s a dangerous mindset. Don’t make assumptions about what you’ll have even tomorrow. Have you ever made your own icon? Yeah, on many sites. They’re just about always just edits, though, not truly original work. What color is your computer mouse? It’s black. Have you ever been sung to on your birthday in a restaurant? Yes. Do you like black olives? I don’t like olives period. Do you actually think there will be a zombie apocolypse? Personally, no. I do think it’s scientifically possible, we already see this in insects, but I just don’t imagine it happening to humans before we’re our own downfall. Do you like the person you’ve become over the past years? Fuck no. Have you ever gone to church just to get a significant other? … No…? Have you ever punched a wall out of complete anger? No, that shit is terrifying. Are you really ticklish? YES don’t fucking touch me. How do you decide what you're going to eat each day? I just follow what I’m craving that day. How are you similar to your siblings? Different? Compared to Ashley and Nicole at least, I can’t think of any real similarities off the top of my head. They’re intelligent, motivated, outgoing, successful, yada yada, then there’s me. What's your favorite type of non-fiction literature? Autobiographies by people I’m actually interested in. Do you believe in souls? Soulmates? Souls, absolutely. Soulmates, no. It’s fairytale ideation to think your soul has a perfect match with another, hate to break it to ya. Favorite soundtrack? BITCH don’t make me choose between Shadow of the Colossus and Silent Hill 2. Fucking masterpieces. Pianos or guitars? *shrugs* Depends on the music and my mood. Did an animal ever bite you? Never seriously. How many languages do you speak? Only English fluently. I’m poor at German by now. Wiggly worms or bumble bees? Worms gross me out, bees are Good Boys. Religion? I don’t really identify with any. I just believe there’s some form of ultimate intelligence and essences beyond just the body, and that’s all I even pretend to know. Fog, thunder, or rain? Fog gives me that Silent Hill Vibe *Italian kiss* What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? The way I treated Jason after the breakup. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? Damn pollen. Do you know anyone else with your name? Yeah. What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? Viruses or botflies. Where are you tempted to move to sometimes? I very legitimately want to live in Canada by now, but I won’t because I’m not moving that far from family. Who seems like they have the perfect life? I try not to make that assumption of anyone. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? Does taking pictures of roadkill count???? lmao probably Do you think it would be a good idea to post photos of negative moments as well as positive? Well… I guess it depends. Like ngl, the pictures some people share of them having panic attacks to just show how fucking real they are definitely touch you, as do those depicting poverty, etc., BUT I really do think there are limits and also differences in motivations. What time zone are you in? EST. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? Wow, speaking of. No. ^Why or why not? I am an UGLY cry-er, my man. But I also just don’t want people to see that, and it’s definitely not on my mind to take a picture during a breakdown. What was the last thing you cried about? My life. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yes. Where do you buy calendars from? I don’t. Do you shop at the dollar store often? Not *often*, but we’ll stop by for a snack or something sometimes. Are you following in the career path of any family members? No. Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? I guess in some ways. Who was that best friend you ever had? Sara. What color is your laptop? Black. What are five careers you think you’d be good at? My work history has shown I can’t do shit right. Are you thriving in your life right now? lmao no one is in 2020. Who do you have moral support from? My family, doctor, and a few friends. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? The same as above. Do you have people in your family who want you dead? Wow, I hope not. Do you have a walk-in closet? No, but my room at the new house will. :’) Not that I need one, it’s just pretty cool. How do you feel about people like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos having so much power and control in the world? Do you believe that any one person should have so much power? Let’s be real, in our current world, money is power, and no one should have that much control of the world, especially if your intentions are bad. NOW I don’t know jack shit about any of those are far as morals go, but just saying. It’s dangerous. Has your anxiety alone ever prevented you from doing something you wanted to do? This is ACTUALLY the story of my fucking life. Do you enjoy reading stories and novels that are heavily stylistic, poetic, or unconventional or do you prefer your prose to follow a familiar grammatical structure? Okay, I LOVE those, like Johnny Got His Gun and The Handmaid’s Tale that’s kinda like, run-on writing. Just letting a train of thought go. Those are two of the most powerful books I’ve ever read and they’re both written in a unique fashion. Have you ever fallen for any sort of Internet-based hoax? (e.g., fake celeb death, satire news article…) I’m sure at some point, especially as a kid. Do you tend to read reviews before you watch a movie or read a book? What do you hope to get out of doing so? NO. I don’t wanna have any precognition. When you go to a concert, how far must you travel for the most usual venues you visit? Most are on the other end of the state, and NC is long, so. We’re lucky if they come to Raleigh. Do you rent movies frequently? I never do, really. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Take pictures or swim. What’s your favorite meal to cook? I don’t cook. What movie has been taken WAY too far, as far as sequels go? Oh, I’m sure there are some, but none immediately come to mind. I’m not that into movies. Do you refuse to eat certain foods because of what they look like? Yes. I am VERY poor at getting past how a food looks. What are you listening to? NSP’s cover of “Don’t Fear The Reaper.” It’s fuckin gorgeous. How much homework do you have tonight? N/A Are you wearing any bracelets? Yes; one that Sara got me as well as an ovarian cancer awareness one. What's physically wrong with you right now? JINKIES I just feel really lethargic like always. Do you take any medications daily? Ha ha thanks for actually reminding me I need to now. When was the last time you moved to a new house? Two years ago, and now we’ll be moving to a much better place by the end of this month/early September, finally. When it comes to relationships, are you the jealous type? Nah. Which gift cards do you have in your wallet? Idk actually. It’s not like I use it a lot. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? A few nights ago. I was extremely hot, dizzy, and pretty nauseated. I was fine, though. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? I pretty much never wear makeup so have never really had a reason to reapply it. I’m definitely not wearing any now. Does your kitchen have a theme? No. Do you like ice cream sandwiches? GIRL yes. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. They’re more comfortable imo but more importantly block out exterior noise very well. Are you a fan of any independent films? ngl, I don’t know exactly what that is and I don’t feel like looking it up. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I very genuinely think some of the RP stories I’ve taken part in are novel-worthy, yes. I wanted to make them books when I was younger, but now I no longer do mainly because there are areas that are just way too fucking dark that I don’t wanna put out there but play massive parts in the stories, so like… Do you regularly watch the news? I never do. Facebook is my “news” source lmao. Who was the last person you video-chatted with? I don’t remember for sure, maybe some doctor? What do you want the theme of your wedding to be? I don’t really think about this, seeing as my mind has changed enough, and it also depends on what my partner wants, too. Have you ever been caught passing a note in class? Noooo, I absolutely hated passing notes because I was genuinely a good student. I only did so very, very rarely if another friend started it. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. It’s a wonderful mix. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? Definitely not. Do you have any clothes with spikes/studs on them? I have a spiked choker, and I might still have gloves with studs? Can you remember what you last clapped for? My mom’s birthday! :’) Have you ever given a pet to someone else? Yes, with cats; we had to do that quite often when I was a kid because we had so many cats, none which we could afford to fix. Then we’ve done it with two dogs we just couldn’t handle. Oh yeah, I gave my iguana away too because he was too high maintenance for me, but also because he DESPERATELY needed a much bigger terrarium, which we couldn’t afford. I absolutely could not watch him in that tiny tank. I miss him a LOT, but he went to a wonderful home! The lady who adopted him sent me pictures upon pictures months after taking him in. Do you know anyone named Walter? No. What's your least favorite ice-cream flavor? Strawberry is fucking disgusting. And that’s coming from someone whose favorite fruit is strawberries. What's your least favorite song by your favorite artist? I’m not sure. There’s a handful that just don’t grab my attention that I don’t even remember them. What was the last good news you heard? I can FINALLY talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow. Who’s your favorite singer of all time? Probably Freddie Mercury. What airline do you fly most? Idk, I don’t really pay attention. I haven’t flown very often though anyway. Do you have a dog that is destructive? I don’t have a dog. What’s one TV series you’ve seen every episode of? Meerkat Manor is the most obvious, ha ha. Maaaaany times. Assuming you have Facebook, who last left you a wallpost? Probably my friend Sammi. Assuming you have hair, how are you wearing it today? It’s too short for me to “wear” it any particular way. It’s just… there lmao. Assuming you're not homeless, what kind of living arrangements do you have? I live with my mom in a house she’s renting. Have you or have you ever considered messing around with the same sex? I’m bisexual so you can guess I’m not opposed to it. Are you particular about any brands of food you will or will not eat? Are there any restaurants you refuse to go to? Brands, no. I don’t eat Chick-fil-a because they’re run by fucking homophobic bigots that monetarily support conversion therapy and other anti-LGBT projects. I’m not giving you any fucking money. What was the most current dream you can remember about? Do you generally dream every night, or hardly at all? It was actually last night, when I dreamed about accidentally running into Jason where I last knew he worked, and he was really hostile. If I don’t take my medicine, I always have nightmares when I sleep.

[gray-autumn-sky]

Lazy Saturday- Hooray for Sandra Dee

For @trina-deckers who ages ago requested Regina seeing Mal in a leather jacket.

Mal models her Halloween costume for Regina.

Regina groans as she enters the house--and the sound of Grease Lightning hits her ears. She feels her entire body tense as she rolls her neck--this is Mary Margaret’s doing, and she hates her for it.

When she’d suggested that Mal and Mary Margaret find some common ground, this hadn’t been at all what she meant. All she’d wanted is for them to be civil toward one another--for them to be able to sit across from each other at a family dinner and not shoot daggers at each other, to exchange pleasantries when they ran into each other at Granny’s rather than sniping at one another. All she’d asked for was a little effort on their part of make life just a little bit easier for her and Henry--but she’d gotten way more than she’d bargained for and it made her miss the days when trying to be friendly meant ignoring the other’s existence.

It started out innocently enough at a dinner at Emma’s. Mary Margaret was in the kitchen cleaning up--transferring leftovers into plastic containers, loading the dishwasher, wiping down the counters--and listening to the Sound of Music soundtrack. Mal’s eyes widened and her lips pursed as she watched Mary Margaret twirl around the kitchen and she nearly looked insulted when Regina nudged her and suggested that she go and help.

“You can’t be serious,” Mal whispered hoarsely as she looked from Regina to Mary Margaret. “I can’t go in there now. I mean… Regina look at her.”

“I know, I know,” Regina said with a sigh. “But, Mal, you know how much this means to me. Please? Just try?”

Mal’s jaw tightened and her shoulders tensed as she watched Mary Margaret grab a stack of dishes and slide across the floor to the dishwasher as Julie Andrews beautifully proclaimed that the hills were alive...

She’d stood there a moment as Mal offered her help and Mary Margaret blinked blankly at her before reluctantly accepting the offer. As she walked away she heard Mal ask Mary Margaret about her choice of music--and she had no idea how that question would come to haunt her...

Since that evening, Mal’s fascination with musicals only grew. Mary Margaret had shared her playlists, and from there Mal bounced from the Sound of Music to Wicked to Bye Bye Birdie, and now, her current fascination was Grease. She listened to the soundtrack as she got ready in the morning and had the movie on as she went about her day, she hummed the songs and danced in the kitchen as she helped with dinner and quoted the movie in conversation. Wherever she was, a show tune seemed to follow.

Groaning, Regina climbs the stairs and follows the music to their bedroom.

“Mal?”

“In the bathroom,” Mal calls. “You’ll never guess what I found at the resale shop.”

Flopping back on the bed, Regina sighs. “You went to the resale shop?”

“After lunch with Mary Margaret.”

Regina’s head lifts from the bed and she looks in the direction of the bathroom. “You had lunch with Mary Margaret?”

“Well, yes,” Mal says as a chuckle rises into her voice. “I had to give her back her Singing in the Rain DVD.”

“Oh,” Regina murmurs, as she lets her head fall back to the bed. “Of course, and how did that lead you to a resale shop?”

“She wanted to find some things for Neal’s halloween costume.”

“Oh,” Regina murmurs as a wistful smile edges onto her lips, remembering the days when she and Henry would plan out elaborate costumes, scouring Storybrooke for the most perfect accessories. “What is he going to be for Halloween?”

“A pumpkin,” Mal says simply as Regina’s smile fades in disappointment. “But I also found a costume.”

“Yeah?” Sitting up, Regina looks toward the streak of light that stretches out from the cracked open door. “So, now you’ve got me curiosity. I didn’t know you were into Halloween.” It seems odd to think that Mal wouldn’t have wanted to celebrate Halloween--after all, it was a holiday that blended together so many of her favorite things. “You know, Belle is having that party and I--”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking about when I found this… or something along those lines.” Regina’s eyes narrow as a hint of giggle rises into Mal’s voice. “It’s the perfect Sandy jacket.”

“Sandy as in… Sandy from Grease?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Oh, how…” Regina sighs as her voice trails off and images of a bubble gum pink jacket and a poodle skirts flood her imagination and she can’t quite find the words she’s looking for to express her concern. “Well, are you going to come out and show me?”

“I’m not sure I’ve got the makeup quite right yet, but I suppose I can show you.”  Regina looks to the bathroom door and grimaces when she hears Mal spray her hair and giggle softly to herself--and then the door opens and the music shuts off. “So, what do you think?”

Regina’s lips part and her eyes widen a little--there is no unsightly pink to be found. Instead, Mal stands in the doorway, looking at her with wide and seductive eyes. Her hair is ratted and teased and she’s wearing a deep red lipstick. Regina blinks and suddenly her eyes are focused on the tightest pair of black leather pants she’s ever seen. They hug Mal’s hips and legs, showing off each and every curve, leaving nothing to the imagination. If she didn’t know better, she’d swear that they were painted on. Swallowing hard, Regina feels her mouth go dry and her eyes trail down Mal’s seemingly never-ending legs to find a pair of red leather stilettos on her feet.

“Well?” Mal asks expectantly as a coy grin edges onto her lips. “You haven’t said anything about the costume.”

“It, um… it’s…”

“I know it’s not exact. I couldn’t find black patent leather shoes, but I figured these would do.”

“Mm,” Regina nods as her eyes trail back up, watching the way Mal shrugs her shoulders--and suddenly, she’s very aware of the black leather jacket Mal is wearing. “They definitely do.”

“And the jacket?” Mal asks as her brow arches. “What do you think of the jacket?”

Regina blinks, noticing the way Mal’s hands are inside the front pockets, holding it closed and accentuating her cleavage beneath the deep V-cut of the front. She feels a fluttering in her chest as Mal rolls her shoulders and pushes herself away from the door, careful to keep her hands in the pockets as she sashays toward Regina.

“Well… do you like it?”

Regina draws in a slow, deep breath as she watches the way the stiff leather refuses to move, somehow both hiding and accentuating the way Mal’s body moves beneath it--and unlike the pants, everything is left to her imagination, and her imagination is already wandering.

“Yes,” she says finally as her eyes shift up to Mal’s. “I like the jacket.” A grin twists on her lips. “I especially like you in the jacket.”

She reaches for her, her hands finding her hips and pulling her in--and as she comes closer, Mal pulls her hands from the jacket’s pockets and slides them up over Regina’s shoulders, letting the jacket fall open.

Regina’s brow watches as her eyes fall to the jacket--or more specifically to Mal’s bare stomach. “You’re… not wearing anything underneath,” she murmurs as she forces her to shift up and meet Mal’s. “It’s… just the jacket.”

“Mm, yeah,” Mal nods. “I couldn’t find anything to go underneath at the thrift store and then, I got to thinking.” Regina watches as her coy little grin returns. “Do I really need to wear anything underneath?”

“I… don’t know,” Regina murmurs. “What did Sandy wear?”

Mal shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

“You’ve seen that movie, like, twenty times.”

“I know,” Mal says, laughing a little. “But I also don’t care.”

“No?”

“No,” Mal tells her with a nod. “I like the way it feels--the way the leather feels against my skin.”

“I see,” Regina murmurs, again swallowing hard as her eyes fall away from Mal’s. “So, that’s it. That’s… all your plan to wear to Belle’s party?”

“Well, at the party I’ll zip it up,” Mal says. “But not all the way.”

“No?”

“No, I think I’ll leave the zipper just low enough that…” Her voice trails off and she laughs as her hands slip over Regina’s shoulders and she pushes herself closer. “Just enough that you might catch a little peek every now and then.”

“Me and everyone else.”

“I’m not worried about everyone else.” Shaking her head, she chuckles softly as her she looks back up at Mal and lets her hands slip over the back of Mal’s slippery leather pants. “You know I’ve never cared about what people think,” Mal adds dismissively. “Besides, I love teasing you.”

“I can tell,” Regina says, a chuckle rising into her voice as she finds the thin zipper at the back of Mal’s pants and gives it a little tug. Mal flinches, involuntarily pushing herself forward and closer to Regina--and Regina grins as sees a quick flash of Mal’s breast beneath the jacket. “You know, we should get you out of these. They seem awfully thin and it’d be a pity if you ruined such a great costume before Halloween.”

“Mm, so you’re going to help me out of my costume?”

“I am,” Regina says, once more tugging at the zipper before slipping her hand inside and cupping Mal’s ass. “But, um…” Her voice trails off and she laughs as she looks up at Mal and arches her brow. “You’re going to leave the jacket on.”

“Am I?”

A sly little grin tugs onto Regina’s lips. “Absolutely.”

[anethara]

End of Year Inventory

First things first, did you have a good year?

I had a wild fucking ride this year. A lot of change hit me all at once and while I vaguely remember the bad, the good and the great stands out vividly in my mind. 

How old did you turn this year?

Twenty-eight.

Do you feel your age?

I don’t even know what that means. I have a lot more of the material trappings of “adulthood.” But I’m also borrowing time on adolescence with HRT and going to college. I definitely feel like an adult, though, so sure. 

Did your appearance change in anyway?

I went blond (again); I went silver for like, a month; I went back to blond. I achieved my desired fashion aesthetic (mostly black; occasional jarring patterns; occult symbolism). I upgraded to a double nose ring. 

Post your favorite selfie.

If you traveled, where did you go?

2019 was the year of travel for me. I went to California twice: once by air, once by road trip. Both trips were great but the road trip was great; I loved bonding with my best friends and my wife and getting to see one of the last remaining states I’d missed out on. I also traveled to New Jersey and New York to see my dad and his family. It took three tragic losses all right in a row to get me out there, which I deeply regret, but I had a great time and I was so happy that my dad got to meet my wife (finally!). In October, I went back to Maine to attend my oldest friend’s wedding and had a damn good time; I also got to see my mom for the first time in five years. 

Which fashion trends did you love?

I haven’t been paying attention. 

Which fashion trends did you hate?

Red baseball caps. You know the ones.

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible?

I got a black tank top featuring The Lovers as two skeletons embracing that I really dig. 

What song sums up this year for you?

I won’t lie, it felt like a 7 Rings kind of year. Congratulations also hits a little different in 2019.

What album has been on heavy rotation this year?

The albums I’ve listened to the most this year are, according to my chosen music software: Amo by Bring Me the Horizon, Beautiful Death by Slaves, Peach Club by Emarosa, Help Us Stranger by The Raconteurs, Let’s Rock by The Black Keys, The Black Panther Soundtrack, Pain Killer by Little Big Town, Lunatic by Kongos, Wild Horse by Rae Lynn, and Ghosts by Smoke Fairies.  

What was your favorite movie of the year?

I didn’t see anything that came out this year (I don’t think…) but my favorite movie I was introduced to this year was A Quiet Place.

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?

No one comes to mind.

Favorite new TV show?

My favorite TV show is the same as last year: The Haunting of Hill House. I am, however, extremely excited for the anthology to continue next year.

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears?

My favorite ship remains steadfastly my Skyrim Dragonborn, Ari, with Rory’s Dragonborn, Nikolaj. 

What food did you try for the first time?

I tried so many new foods this year, I can’t remember them all. My favorite was Korean Barbeque.

Did you make any big permanent changes this year?

I moved into a house. I also began the first stages of some hardcore oral surgery (stages 2-4 coming in 2020). 

What was one nice thing you did for someone else?

I tried to provide for others, this year. I donated as much food and clothing and toiletries to the homeless as possible. I tried to give money when I could. I tried to take friends out for meals. I tried to offer to pay for things people needed and I tried to buy little luxuries people couldn’t otherwise enjoy. I hope it helped. 

What was one nice thing you did for yourself?

I quit my job and visited my family and focused on school and my health.

Did you develop a new obsession?

Hill House was watched probably ten times in this house, and we only moved in back in April. 

Did you vote?

I did! (Thanks Steff…)

Did you move?

I did, hopefully for the last time.

Did you get a job?

I quit one, actually.

Did you get a pet?

Kind of! I gained a dog when Rory moved in.

Do you regret not doing anything?

No, because there’s nothing I didn’t do this year. 

Do you regret doing something?

I regret procrastinating on my surgery, but the timing was just all fucked.

Have you done anything that scared you?

Quitting my job; going to college; going through with a three-part surgery.

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?

I got into a nasty traffic altercation that culminated in my having to get out of my car in stand-still traffic on the highway and threaten violence before it was resolved. That had be pissed for a good three or four days.

Did you lose anyone close to you?

I think I lost a friend. The last time I heard from her was a text that read ‘I don’t remember what you’re responding to. I don’t even try texting with you anymore.’ It was my fault, but I realized that if it’s gotten this bad, the friendship was likely decaying anyway and it’s probably better for both of us to move on. 

Did you fall in love?

I keep falling deeper and deeper in love with Steff as the years pass. 

Did you fall out of love?

Yeah, with menial, dead-end retail labor.

Did you start a new relationship?

Kind of.

Did you go through a break up?

See aforementioned friendship I neglected.

Did you have to cut ties to someone?

I didn’t have to, but I did it anyway.

Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year?

I don’t think there’s anyone currently in my life who hasn’t been important to me for at least three years.

Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?

The friend I had to let go.

If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?

Yeah, I would have booked my trip to Maine a lot earlier, and for four days instead of one.

What was the best moment of the year for you?

So many great moments happened this year. Closing on the house; road-tripping with Rory; seeing my family again; being back in Lavalette and New York City; being back in Maine; getting to watch my best friend get married; getting my grades back for fall quarter… It’s been a good year.

What was the worst?

The worst thing to happen to me all year was when my car battery died and the air pressure went out of my tires unexpectedly in the school parking lot and if that’s the hardest thing I had to deal with all year? What a breath of fresh air.

Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?

Nothing comes to mind.

Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did?

Transition marches on, and that’s had a continual effect on my personality and behavior. 

What are you most proud of accomplishing?

Maintaining a 4.0 GPA despite struggling with two major papers, an intensive career project, an impromptu oral presentation, and literally every fucking social experiment demanded of me by my chaotic psych professor.

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?

I really don’t trust, and I really struggle to believe people can be reliable or stable. I’m working on it.

Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?

No one I know personally.

Did your opinion of anyone change for worse?

See above.

If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?

I knew 2019 was going to be bonkers, so I didn’t make any promises.

If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?

I want to reinstate healthy habits. 

If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?  Who would you go this?

I’m all adventured out, to be honest. I’d rather just hang out at home with my wife and my family.

What do you wish for others for the coming year?

Good omens; cash flow; good luck with cars; steady work and good health.

What do you wish for yourself?

A steady mental incline, physical improvement, and a 3.7 GPA.