#but hou can see the exact moment when i fell out of love with it. the quality PLUMMETS

[lunar-fey]

i was tagged by @lidrens for this wip folder meme :3

RULES: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

i dont actually have a wip folder. my entire gdrive is my wips folder. but uhh anyway lets go:

half empty or half full, either way it's just 1/2

do you regret it yet? / you ever been in so much pain you invent praying? (side story to ^)

nightmare / you find yourself in a void

hard to be a good person (when you're hardly a person at all)

heroine

dragon's son

okay lets see. im not getting 6 but 3 of those are real wips so. @composeregg @playtwewy @odysseys-blood . im sure more of you people have wips. feel free to say i tagged you <3

[voldemorthatesnose96]

WHAT IF...

I’ll dedicate this to some of y’all who wanted the rough draft version to be whole. Enjoy❤️❤️❤️

“You know what’s funny?”

“What?”

“That if we both die here, together, at the same time,” Sander smirks. “Would that be something?”

Robbe has known Sander for more than two months and frankly, everytime they meet at the hospital rooftop, Sander always talk about death. It’s understandable because he’s suffering from a brain tumor.

When they met for the first time, Robbe still remember his bleached hair—looking fearless and ‘not caring about the world’ attitude. But now, his hair is completely gone but the personality never change. He’s still the same lively and sarcastic Sander Driesen, and Robbe fall for him—hard. Too bad he’s also about to die because of leukemia.

And maybe Sander’s right. Maybe die together at the place where they usually talking and cursing at anything won’t be so bad—maybe, it’ll be something.

Sander fix his beanie and tighten the wool jacket. He has lost, at least, five kilos within a month because of this motherfucking sickness. What a time to be alive.

He takes a glance at Robbe, who’s now looking at the starless sky. Sander always admire how this seemingly shy and quiet person is actually keeping so many secrets. No matter how many times he tries to reveal them one by one by looking at his eyes, Sander still can’t figure it out. It fascinates him—Robbe IJzermans fascinates him. Too much. At the point he becomes rather frustrated.

Well, maybe not that kind of secret, but still... when Sander accidentally made an eye contact with him at the receptionist table, he was drawn to those chocolate eyes. They looked lonely, alive, vulnerable and radiant. Sander could’ve sworn that the world went silent when their eyes met. That was the exact moment when he finally felt something he hasn’t had for years; love and anger—utter anger, because why does he have to die when he feels something like this for the first time since can’t remember when?! Why?!

“Sander.”

Robbe’s soft voice stop his thoughts instantly, “yeah?”

“We’re gonna die anyway, right?”

“Sure does.”

“Can I tell you something then?”

“What is it?”

“I like you.”

Robbe says these words while looking straight into Sander’s green eyes. For a beat or two, both are just staring at each other, completely baffled but not awkward. Robbe still hugging his knees, while Sander unknowingly has already sitting closer to him.

“For how long?”

Robbe shakes his head, trying to hide his blushed cheeks, “maybe when I first laid my eyes on you. It was mesmerizing. You mesmerized me.”

Sander sighs in relief, “why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

“Why should I?” Robbe asks, slightly trembling. “I don’t wanna scare you. That’s the last thing I want.”

“But I’m not scared, Robbe,” Sander smiles. He places his hand on Robbe’s cheek to face him. “I’m not even scared of dying, never.”

“Not even once?”

“No, engel.”

Robbe feels his heart beating uncontrollably when Sander called him “angel”. God, if he’s already dead, he won’t regret it. Never in his life he even dare to think or hope that Sander Driesen would called him angel. This is too beautiful to be true. He wants to cry.

“I’m not that greedy anymore. I used to be angry because when I also realised that I fell for you at that receptionist table,” Sander grins when Robbe gasps at his words. “Yes, I already fell for you too. You heard that right.”

“But...”

“Listen to me first,” Sander softly cuts him as his thumb caressing Robbe’s bottom lip. “I used to be angry because when I finally fell for someone since, probably, FOREVER, I’m also in the brink of dying. Is this sounds fair to you?”

Robbe shakes his head, can’t say a thing. His mind is racing.

“But then, you confessed to me and in that instant, all of my burdens were gone, Robbe. Can you believe? All gone!”

Robbe can’t take it anymore. He starts sobbing after Sander’s speech. It isn’t fair. All of this. Why the universe made them found each other and being together in short amount of time? It’s not making any fucking sense!!!

Sander holds Robbe as he also trying to fight back the tears, “it’s okay. At least, we’re together, right? It’s okay, engel. If it’s our last time together, I won’t regret a thing,” then he whispers to Robbe’s ears. “Ik hou van jou.”

“I also love you! God, I love you so much!” Robbe says between his sobs in Sander’s arms. This is way too hurtful!

“Promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

Sander stares at Robbe’s blotchy face and kisses both of his eyelids. The tears taste so sweet on his lips.

“If I die first, don’t cry for me.”

“But what if it’s me first?”

“Then I’ll do the same. I don’t want to see you cry. That’d be awful for me to watch from above, y’know.”

“What if I do cry?”

“Then maybe I’ll come back to my body and become a zombie to eat your brain!”

Robbe is half-laughing, half-sobbing now. The sarcastic Sander he loves the most is back. What an unpredictable guy!

“Then we can be zombie together and live happily ever after.”

Sander kiss Robbe’s wet cheeks, “I agree. But do you know what’s better?”

“Hm?”

“Now, engel. Now,” Sander breathes. “Now is perfect already. You in my arms, we fall in love with each other. What else can be better than this?”

“A kiss?” Robbe says without thinking.

Sander smirks. His face look very radiant as he leans closer to Robbe’s lips.

“A kiss it is, then.”

Then they kiss, and kiss, and kiss until they lose their breath. And even though both of them understand that it’ll be their first and last kiss, but at least, they have this moment. They have now. And just like what Sander said—now is perfect.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Little Sadie part II. - Visions of Samuel (Reader x Sam Drake)

Part One

Description: Fifteen years ago, your boyfriend Samuel Drake just disappeared into the thin air and never came back home. Your best friend Nathan Drake is unable to talk about this event and Sully says he shouldn't, because of a promise he gave to Nathan. 

So you moved on to new guys, stories, and adventures. 

And fifteen years apart since the last dance evening, Nathan invited you once again

A/N: Send help. I fell for that Last of Us part II. trailer harder than I should. I saw it too many times since they threw it at me. Also inspired by this trailer. And a bit, but just a bit, by a song by Sufjan Stevens; Visions of Gideon. 

Word count: 3 128

Warning: Just a load of anxiety and anger.

Okay. So you walked up there like nothing happened, with your hands in tight jeans and leather jacket, but you secretly wanted to go home and watch more episodes of your favorite show. What if something interesting happens in the next one? When you wanted to turn around and walk back to your apartment, you heard your name in the crowd. And in that exact moment you knew, it's too late to walk home.

“Fuck.” You mumbled to yourself, turning right into Sully’s smiling face. He was smoking a cigar, dressed in a white shirt and his really old and comfy black trousers. He got pretty old since you saw him for the last time. His hair hot totally grey and his mustache too. He had deep wrinkles, but those blue eyes were still magnificent. The man you loved the most was standing right in front of you, flesh and bones, treasure hunter and an ex-marine Victor Sullivan. “Y/N, baby girl.” He hugged you tightly and you smiled to yourself - oh, how you missed this old man and his smell of cigars and cologne.

Since Samuel got lost, you weren't as close as before. You tore apart from Nathan too - like yeah, he called time after time, sent a letter, but nothing really too big. Sully came to visit you with Nathan, keeping his eyes on you like a guardian angel.

“You're aging like a fine wine,” he put his palms on your shoulders and tore you from his body. “You're as beautiful as I remember you. Maybe even more. Hard to tell.“ He whispered and you laughed out loud.

“That almost sounds like you're trying to flirt with me, grandpa.“ You pushed him gently and he laughed too. “Fuck I hate evenings like this.” Both of you sighed at one time. 

Everyone was dancing. Everyone was loud, drinking and you never liked that. Sully always understood you in this. But Nate didn't.

With pleasure, he guided you to the bar, ordered you a glass and started talking with his low, raspy voice and a weak smile on his lips.

You talked about the news; what happened to you and what happened to him, exchanging some hot topics, laughing and feeling really close to him. He complimented you every time he could, but you knew that he was always like that. He ordered you a Mohito and the two of you sat on a terrace outside the dance floor. 

And there you saw them. Nathan, one of your closest friends, and his wife in his huge arms. And he still couldn't dance. His wife was laughing, her cheeks were rosy and you knew, why he chose her over everyone else. She was pretty - like really pretty. She even wore a tight t-shirt and even tighter jeans. Her blonde hair was in a ponytail and you just sit there with Sully and watched them.

You loved Elena since the time that Nathan introduced you to her as one of his best friends. You even came to his wedding as his witness, he danced with you on a slow dance and told you, that you will always be his sister that he never had and friend even though you don't see each other as much as you did before. He was wasted at the time but you still believed that he meant it.

Elena saw you first, opening her mouth wide, smiling at you and waving. Nathan looked up too and he started to shine. His gaze was warm and welcoming - it was like coming home. You haven't seen them for a year now and you were excited as hell for today for a long time, but you still hated those evenings. 

They immediately stopped dancing and both of them walked to the table. First, you greeted with El - she hugged you with energy, almost throw you to the ground.

Nathan was more gentle - he slowly rubbed your shoulders and then he hugged you. It felt like home, at both times. 

“We have great news.” Elena sat next to Sully and tapped his knee. The old man smiled at her and Nathan was shining with excitement. “You're going to be an aunt!“ She cried out with happiness and you just opened your mouth, looking at Nathan, trying to guess if Elena was joking or dead serious. But she wasn't joking at all. 

You chatted for a few moments, you were drinking your Mohito and you still couldn't believe it - Elena was pregnant.

“Okay. Can I bring some drinks?“ You stood up when your glass was empty. Nathan stood up and followed you to the bar, joking about some guy's hair. Hou giggled and hit him to shoulder. 

You turned to the dancing crowd - and then you saw it. It was like the night fifteen years ago. He was tall and handsome like every time you saw him, dancing with some woman on the dance floor. Smiling from ear to ear, but he looked older than your actual memory. He was still a pretty good dancer and his eyes were locked into that lady's gaze.

You blinked - and he disappeared. You smiled sadly and walked next to Nathan. 

“You looked like you've seen a ghost.“ He threw a joke on you and your eyes popped. Your heart was pumping rapidly, your breath was shaking. You were whiter than Elena's wedding dress. 

“Yeah. I probably just saw one.“ You whispered and ordered whiskey. And then you heard his laugh. His husky voice was resonating in your head like a scream from the past. You closed your eyes tightly and just didn't say anything. 

“Didn't know that you'll come here today, Nate!“ You heard him next to you. You blinked one more time, shook your head and trying to forget that Sam could be there in any scenario. You smiled sadly and looked at the guy next to you. 

You were expecting one of Nathan’s friends, his colleague or anyone like that - you were shocked when it actually WAS him. 

He stood next to you as if nothing happened, with palms touching pockets of his trousers, in a black t-shirt and some black jeans. He was older, a way older than before fifteen years. He was so different - with deep wrinkles, rough brown skin, and corners on his forehead. And he had a new tattoo, birds flying free on his neck. He was an adult all of the sudden. And you were just one little step away, slowly drowning in the smell of liquor and cigarettes, and that sweet scent of him. You could touch him, your breath became insanely louder and your heart, oh boy. It hurt like it wanted to jump outside of your chest and break into the smallest pieces once again.

You felt the gentle warmth of his body touching your skin like it did so many times before. You have opened your mouth, looking at him without any single breath, because you started to cry. Tears were slowly rolling out of your eyes, and then his gaze met yours. It was like a miracle; a miracle that was slowly hurting your brain, your heart, and your feelings. He abandoned you fifteen years ago and yet he stands still right next to you like nothing ever happened.

“I convinced her to come. That's why we're here actually.“ Nathan nodded to you. Sam smiled at you and your heart just stopped like it did a million times before. You stood silent like a deer in the headlights.

You felt how your hands were shaking and your whole body just felt numb all of the sudden, unable to catch breath or an idea of what the hell is going on right now. You just have had so many questions on your mind - where he was? Why he disappeared? Why he even came back without letting you know? Where was he all that time?

And then you gave him a slap, unable to stop your body in that motion. Almost everyone looked you, Sam caught his cheek into his palm, closing his eyes. His lip rolled down, he closed his eyes.

"That one was well deserved, gotta say babygirl," Sam whispered with a weak smile. Nathan shaped, tearing you apart from smacking Samuel once again standing between you like a neutral land of Switzerland.

“You knew about him?“ You whispered to Nathan, unable to understand the situation. Nathan held your shoulders. “He came back only a few months ago. He was away, but now he's back, Y/N. Calm down. He tried to contact you, but you moved away and changed your number... So I invited you here. I gave him this shot.“ Nathan said slowly and Sam nodded. 

You tried to calm yourself but you couldn't, at least you stopped hitting Samuel. You stepped away and Sam came closer to you and Nathan.

“It's true. Finding you is a job for the FBI.“ He joked, his cheek was burning from your slap. You couldn't help yourself but smile a little. “Gimme me a sec.“ Sam went to the bar and you looked at Nate.

“I'll leave you two alone. Don't try to murder him while I'm away, you promise?" Nathan smiled, slowly caressing your shoulder and then went back to his wife, who was watching you and Sam without blinking.

There was a lot to say between you two and heavy tension could be cut by a knife. You felt it on your tongue, trying to ignore it, but you couldn't.

“Here. You loved this drink a long time ago.“ He gave you Long Island Ice Tea and you smiled. “And I still do.“ You answered quietly.

“It's nice to see you... Being this well. Nate was talking about you and I just had to see you.“ You two sat on two stools, you drinking your drink, staring into the ground. You didn’t believe any of the bullshit he said. Wanted to see you... Did he really think that you are a little naive girl or what? That should be the best apologize of this century or what did he expect? Yet, as a strong and adult lady you are, you remain to stay calm. “Nice to see you too. Being well and that shit around.“ You chuckled poorly, still not sure what to think. 

After all those years, he just appeared out of thin air like a ghost or a summer storm, looking old and having a tattoo on his neck. Still a womanizer, maybe a jackass too. Smelling exactly the same as you remember it. It was the same Sam, your Sam, but he wasn’t that Sam for real. You felt it from his gazes and words. Something changed him.

“Well, speak up love. What adventures were you up to since I was away?“ Sam smiled and your lips curled into a sad smile. What were you up since then? You did many things. You have accomplished many things that you were really proud of, but it wasn't as exciting for a treasure hunter as it was for you. 

“You know that I'm not like Nathan or Sully, neither like Chloe. I have never traveled around the world just to haunt something that doesn’t exist, or at least I don’t have a reason to believe that it is real. But you know; I will always be watching over them. 

I have had many relationships. Any of them ended well, so here I am. I really aged up and found out many things while you were away... Doing stuff. I had to euthanize my dog and then a car hit my cat, so... I think I'm not the luckiest person." You said and your own voice almost bored you to death. You sat next to him without any sign of happiness. You just were there with a man who broke your heart a long time ago and you still weren't over him.

“Sorry about that, babygirl. I wish I was here to support you in those times and -" "But you weren't Sam, you weren't." You looked at him and he gave you a disappointed look.

“Just don't be sorry, okay? I got over it a long time ago. My life goes forward, with you in it or without you." You said and your voice felt deathly cold. You were scared of yourself; how could be that calm and since when you did not care that Sam wasn't there with you and for you? Like two minutes ago? You felt pretty shitty for wrecking his heartwarming smile like that, to be honest.

“Well, you said yourself that you moved on. You have a family? A husband... Perhaps? Or a wife, I don't judge." He joked around and smiled at his own little joke.

“No. No, I don't. What a pity, eh?" You said ironically without any emotion in your voice.

“I thought a strong independent and beautiful girl would have dozens of man to cherish her everywhere she steps to," he started to talk, casually laid back to the bar and looking at the people around you just enjoying themselves and celebrating the life. “Because you should be treated like a fucking goddess you are. You are still the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes and arms on. The only one who made me melt by just saying Hi! and the only one I've been thrilled to see after the long night we spent together."

“Have you even... Thought of me in those fifteen years?" You stepped next to him, buried you teared up eyes into his shoulder with tears just falling off. You wanted that pain to stop. To be gone. You wished, oh boy you wished, that you didn't come here that night.

He was a vision of your Sam; the same body on the outside with a different character on the inside. You didn't know this Sam. And you wished you just thought that he was gone like yesterday when you ate that ice-cream on your couch with your eyes glued on the TV.

“If I thought about you, babygirl? You were the only thing that gave me hope every time I woke the next morning, still alive. I felt like rotting alive and that old photo of us was the only thing I was looking up to. To see you one day as happy at that night, smiling wildly and still loving me to death," he chuckled quietly. “Guess this is not the case. And I can't blame you. It's all my fault and I fully take it on my shoulders."

“Yeah.” You whispered, looking into the crowd and watching it dancing happily. You weren't happy, and you definitely weren't enjoying yourself. Yet you felt safe next to him, yet you know those eyes and these shoulders, it wasn't your Sam. You couldn't just forget him fifteen years lasting disappearance. If he was gone for a week? You could manage, but fifteen years were a lot longer than just a few weeks. 

“Do you wanna dance?” He asked when a slow song started to play. You looked to his face and you felt like a little kitten, who was so clueless about everything. Your eyes started to tear up and you breathed heavily. That wasn't good. You needed to disappear as quickly as you could because the pain and anxiety hit you like a wrecking train. You trembled a lot, and couldn't bring yourself to speaking. Then you shook your head and covered your lips and as soon as you could bring yourself to a movement, you got up and walked away.

Of course, he had to follow you.

“Hey. I get it. I fucked up everything we had. It's only my fault and so, so sorry, princess. Just give me a chance and I promise you... I promise you, that the things will turn around. I wasn't here all this time, but now I'm back. A bit older, greyer and I have much more wrinkles, but it's still me.” He took your shoulders to his palms and shooked you a little, but you were unable to move. Or to speak. Or to breathe. “Just give me one more shot. One more chance. And you'll see how much I love you and how much I missed you.” He whispered, trying to hug you, but you felt as you raised your palms to his elbows and you held them as strong as you could so he could not come any closer to you.

“I can't.” You whispered to a strangely quiet and peaceful night. Yet the night was full of your personal terror. You felt like a hurt animal, an animal which is bleeding all over the place and dying really slowly and painfully, realizing that the death is actually a sanctuary. “I would love to, Sam, I really would. But you are not my man and certainly not the one who left. I have changed and you have changed too. And...” You released your breath shakily and looked into his eyes. 

“That’s normal. That’s not anything we should be afraid, my love. The change comes through experience and the experience comes through the years. And yet...” You step aside. “I don't recognize you. You are so fucking familiar to me but I feel that I don't know you. I don't know anything about you. You are Samuel Drake, the womanizer, and the goofy guy, I don't doubt that. But you are the living vision of my past. You are my distant dream lost in the past. You are a vision that reminds me of my old Sam. Just let go. Don't trap yourself inside memories. Don't hide in the past. I'm not the little girl you used to know.” You let his hand fall to his sides.

He was looking you dead in the eyes. He wasn't mad, no. He was hurt. He imagined this evening so many times, he made up so many scenarios, he felt like this is your destiny for both of you. And yet you said no. And his head just couldn't process it, so he just stood there and watched your back slowly disappearing in the clouds of the night.

So this was the destiny that he was waiting fifteen years to fulfill? He imagined you every single day he spent in the prison, exactly as he told you, he just knew you were the person his heart belongs to; his home and the harbor which was keeping his ship safe.

And yet you spoke the truth. He was just a poor vision of Sam that he used to be. And that hurt even more than your coldness.