#but hoping everyone has a nice nye with family + friends or by yourself

[gunsatthaphan]

happy new year from the gmmtv squad lol ✌🏻🎊🎆

[lost-in-faith]

The beginning, and ending, of an era.

Well everyone, 2024 has redefined me to say the least.

The beginning of this year started off as every other year does. Full of hope, promise. Exaggerated dreams of weight loss, financial gain, and of course, finding "the one".

I set my new years resolution with the same kinds of goals as many of us do. My list looked something like this:

-This year, I'm going to the gym. 5 days a week. AT LEAST.

(I've made it 0 days so far).

-I'm going to triple my savings account. (I was able to change it drastically, but not in the kind of way that makes it grow).

-I'm going to put myself out there and date again. (two failed "talking" stages and 3 bad dates later, still single).

But hey, that's okay. I learned that not every year is a chance for a new start, but everyday is. And that saying proved to be true, when on January 2nd, I still had the ghosts from 23's past lingering around to haunt me.

Truth is, it wasn't the new year that caused me to change. It's what happened right before it. My son had a bad accident, I got laid off from work, and I had lost my closest friends. As I stood in Times Sqaure watching the NYE ball drop, I felt like my world had already crashed at my feet.

The first couple of weeks were hard. I didn't want to put makeup on. I didn't want to wear my hair down. I even stopped hanging around after drop off to gossip with the other parents. I felt like a shadow of myself. It was not a pretty sight- by any means.

One cold morning in January, it was time to get up and get ready to take my son to school. I had my stained t-shirt on, my pajama pants from my family's Christmas photoshoot, and slides on- no socks. I threw on a robe, didn't fix my hair and walked my son to school.

As I walked up to his class, his teacher stopped me at the door and said "girl, I'm not sure whats going on with you- but you need to fix yourself up. I barely recognize you". I looked down, tried to break a smile, and wished her a nice day.

On my walk back home, I stepped on a puddle of slushy brown snow, my hair slipped out of its bun, and it started to rain. And I started to cry. Like why the fuck have I let myself get to this point. Where even people who see me just a couple of minutes a day can see that there has been a drastic change.

I got home, showered, and told myself- no more feelings. Just action. Don't overthink anything, that complicates things. No more excuses for my problems, only solutions. It's time.

And it was. It was time for me to grab the reigns of my life, and take it exactly where I needed it to go. And that's just what I did. (Well, it's what I'm doing.

[1-800-iluvhockey]

(gif creds to @doubleminor !!)

Fate - Quinn Hughes

If there had to be one hopeful moment that she has wished for, for all of her life, it would have to be this one.

Granted, she doesn't have kids yet, and she isn't married yet like everyone wanted her to be.

But she found someone, someone who has loved her unconditionally from the start.

——————-

It all started on a rainy day in Vancouver.

She was running late for college, he was lost on the way to work. They bumped into each other with the classic coffee routine.

She apologized, he helped her clean up, and they said their goodbyes.

That was the first time.

——————-

A few months later, she went on a date with her best friend, Kylie to watch her older brother play hockey. They had really good seats, in the box, and went down to the locker room after to meet Kylie's older brother.

"Y/n, meet my older brother and knucklehead Brock, Brock; meet my best friend and roommate, Y/n."

Kylie said when she introduced her to her brother.

"Nice to finally meet you! Since we are meeting best friends, I got to let you meet some of the guys. Huggy! Lias! Come out and meet my sisters."

Brock yelled into the locker room.

"Sisters huh?"

Y/n asked questionably to Brock.

"Yep, I've now adopted you into our family. Hope you don't mind N/N."

Brock says pulling me into a hug.

"Not at all Bro."

I tell him, growing a little red.

Two men in suits come out of the locker room. They are pretty tall, and handsome, but that's when she recognized him.

The man from the coffee shop, from months earlier…..

"Y/n, Kylie, meet Quinn Hughes & Elias Peterson. My two best mates on the team."

Brock says going behind them to push them forward.

Kylie starts to talk with Elias as Quinn just stares at me.

"You're Bossers' sister?"

Quinn asked breathlessly.

"Kinda, I'm his younger sisters best friend, I'm Y/n, Y/n L/n. Sorry for spilling coffee on you a while back."

I tell him shyly.

"No, the pleasure is all mine. I would love for you to spill coffee on me again. I mean— "

Quinn starts to sputter as I laugh.

"I get it. Are you guys going out after this or?"

I ask them as my stomach starts to growl.

"Yeah I can, how about you?"

Kylie asks Brock.

"Sure, boys? Wanna come and meet my fam?"

Brock asks, putting his arms around Kylie and I's shoulders.

"Sure why not? Quinn, you in?"

Elias asks him, snapping him out of his trance.

"Yeah, I call dibs on sitting next to Y/n!"

He laughs, grabbing the door.

That was the second time.

——————-

It's now New Years, and things have progressed since then. It's been about 6 months since Y/n and Quinn officially met, and they were both secretly head over heels for each other.

They had been hanging out with friend and even alone over these past few months. Becoming good friends, great even.

They were at a NYE party together, in Vancouver still. Quinn had just came back from Michigan, and Y/n from Oklahoma.

He asked her when he was gone if he could take her, instead of in person, just in case of rejection.

What he didn't know was the happy dance she did in her room when she got asked.

He picked her up at 8pm, and they went to get dinner, it was lovely.

They showed up at the party at around 9:30, and took pictures with Kylie and her boyfriend, and met with the team.

His arm was on her all night, and neither of them minded.

She was going to ask him tonight.....

He was going to kiss her tonight....

The clock striked 11:55, when

Last Christmas by Wham! came on.

It was a remix, so it started out slower.

"May I have this dance?"

Quinn asked as he pulled Y/n onto the dance floor.

"Why of course, Q."

She replied, taking his arm.

11:56

They began to grow closer when they slow danced the night way.

"Quinny, where do you see yourself next year?"

She asked him, looking up.

The snow was slowly falling into his hair, and it was getting a little chilly, so he started to turn red.

"Hopefully right where I am now."

He replied softly.

"Oh"

She said sadly.

He noticed

"What about you pretty girl?"

Quinn asked her, pulling her closer.

11:58

"With you."

Y/n says, growing red.

11:59

"With me?"

He chuckles softly.

"Yes, Q I like you. A lot, I understand if—"

She gets cut off with the ending of the song and the countdown beginning.

10

"Y/n I—"

Quinn starts to say as Y/n begins to pull away.

9

"Quinn I get it you don't—"

She starts to say tearing up.

8

"I love you."

He tells her, pulling her back in.

7

"You love me?"

She asks leaning into him.

6

"Ever since that coffee, I have been so in love with you. "

Quinn says holding onto her waist.

5

"I love you too Quinn Hughes."

Y/n laughs as they keep dancing.

4

"Be my girl?"

He asks her, spinning her around.

3

"I thought you'd never ask."

She replies laughing.

2

"Yes?"

Quinn double checks.

1

"Yes, I'll be yours if you'll be mine hughes."

She says, kissing him.

HAPPY NEW YEARS VANCOUVER!!!

BONNE FETE VANCOUVER!!

They kissed for a solid 20 seconds, and it felt straight out of a movie. They were so in love already. Quinn knew he made the right choice with choosing Y/n L/n. Hopefully for forever.

That was the third time.

——————-

Now, it's back to current time. Almost a year later. Time flies when you are in love.

It's now Christmas at the Hughes house, Quinn has invited Y/n to stay over break because her family is "visiting" somewhere else.

The Hughes family has already met and has fell in love with Y/n over now almost the past year.

Quinn has set up this whole break around proposing to her.

The Hughes family is of course in on it, and has flown the L/n family out to have a surprise engagement party after he proposes.

Y/n, having no clue, thinks that she's going with Quinn to spend Christmas with his family.

Little does she know that she will be coming back as a Hughes.

"Q , Thank you for letting me crash on your family traditions this year."

Y/n tells her boyfriend, as they sit together by the fireplace on Christmas Eve night. It had been a great 2 week break so far.

Everything going perfectly for this moment.

"Y/n, about that....... I want to tell you something."

Quinn says, growing nervous.

Both the Hughes and L/n family's are in the back room, listening and taking photos of the engagement.

"Y/n M/n L/n, I have loved you since the first time I saw you in the coffee shop almost two years ago. I think about our interactions to get to the point we are at everyday. You're the first thing in my mind when I wake up, and my last when I go to sleep. I've never loved anything else in this world more than when I found hockey. You mean everything and more to me...."

Quinn says, getting off the couch and onto one knee, facing a now, crying Y/n on the couch.

"Y/n, will you do me the ultimate favor, and marry me?"

Quinn asks her as he pull out a ring box from the tree.

"Quinn Hughes, you are absolutely one of the most—"

She stops herself.

"I am absolutely and totally in love with you. I cannot wait to be your wife. You said yes last New Years, and now....... I say yes."

Y/n answers him as he jumps onto her.

"Yes! Yes! Y/n Hughes is coming soon! Guys come on out!"

Quinn yells from the other room, and Y/n turns around to see both families standing there.

Shellshocked, she stands up with Quinn and says.....

"WERE GETTING MARRIED!"

That was the fourth time..

——————-

Now, it is New Year's Eve again, and the new fiancés have went back to Vancouver, in their newly furnished apartment.

They decided not to go out this year and party, and just stay in.

Christmas (the war is over) by John Lennon plays through the vinyl, Christmas cookies in the oven, and outside the windows gleam with fireworks.

They are set to be married in June, which is still 6 months away….

"Quinn, can you come here please?"

Y/n asks

as Quinn yells a "Yeah babe just a sec!"

He walks in to see his fiancé, in the same dress as last year, waiting in the living room.

"You're stunning. Wow. I cannot believe you are mine."

Quinn says shocked as to see what is in front of him.

"You have me for forever Q. Come dance with me baby, it's almost a New Year. Can we recreate last year?"

She asks as she runs to turn to the next song.

Last Christmas by Wham!

“Last Christmas I gave you my heart……”

"Only if I don't have to give away your heart to someone else."

Quinn says, pulling her in to dance.

The TV behind them starts the countdown a few seconds after.

10

9

8

They keep dancing, like in their own little world. <3

7

6

5

"Quinn, I love you more than words can say."

Y/n says, looking into his eyes.

4

3

"I love you more than life it's self, Future Mrs. Y/n Hughes."

He says, bringing her into kiss her.

2

1

HAPPY NEW YEAR VANCOUVER!!

This is her happiest moment.

——————-

Quinn Hughes makes her happy.

She has won life, because she found a man that has unconditionally loved her from the start. It's the little things that make them so grand.

She just can’t believe that fate stepped in that day in the coffee shop, at the game, and essentially….. that New Years night <3

[bts-hyperfixation]

I think 10, 27, 44, 58, and 66 with the scenario of 1 would make an awesome story.

Hey! I'm so sorry for how late this. I was going to make it NYE and then time got away from me 🥲

Waste My Time In Pantomime

The tickets had been a gift from work. Everyone in the office had been given them sometime in October. By the time you remembered you had them there had only been one day left to book – New Year’s Eve. Still it was as good a way as any to waste another year’s end. Unfortunately, everyone you knew already had plans, because of course they did. They all had partners, or families, or friends to go out with. Personally, you didn’t want to spend the absurd club surge prices that your friends were paying and flying home wasn’t an option (plus your family weren’t particularly fun at the best of times). And god forbid you actually had a love life.

So there you were sat in the audience of the local panto. Families surrounding you, laughing and having fun while you wallowed in your own self-pity. Seats around you filled up as you snacked on the chocolate you had brought in with you. By the time the lights flickered signalling the start of the show the only available seat was the one next to you. You count your blessings that you hadn’t been stuck next to a lovesick couple and delve into you bag of supplies. This was not your first panto. You grabbed the blanket and flask of hot chocolate you brought with you and settled in. Just as the first character appeared on stage, a man slides down the row and sits next to you apologising as he wriggles through the others. You move all of your stuff out of the chair so he can sit down.

It’s the interval by the time you get a chance to look at him properly. And by him you mean, quite possibly, the most beautiful human on the planet. His dark brown hair fell perfectly around his face, framing his deep eyes. His plump lips looked ridiculously pillowy. This man screamed home to you for a reason you couldn’t place. You do your best to smile in what you hope is an inviting way when he notices you staring. He smiles back. You nearly faint there. Its so genuine, a neat line of pearly white.

“Hi, I’m Y/N” you introduce yourself not really sure what you’re hoping for.

“Hello, I’m Jin.” The warmth that run throughs you when you hear his voice properly for the first time is almost overwhelming. “Sorry if I disturbed you when I came in, I was stuck in traffic.”

“No not at all.” The lights flicker to signal the start of the second act. It makes you sad to think you’ll have to stop talking to the beautiful stranger, but you settle back in anyway. You offer him some of the candy you had been eating and he offered you his snacks in return. It turned into a reasonably nice picnic in the end. About halfway through the second act the PA system blared across the room silencing the actors on stage.

*This is a staff and customer announcement, there is a storm currently covering the area, it’s unsafe to go outside. Local authorities have asked that you remain here until the worst of it passes. Please get comfortable and enjoy the rest of the show*

A few murmurs sounded out throughout the crowd, but it quickly quieted down again as the fairy-tale creatures on stage began the scene once more. All too soon, the show came to an end, but the storm did not. Unsure of what to do next you folded your blanket up and stood, the only real plan to stretch your legs and move away from families trying to reassure their children. As you go to move from the row Jin grabs your wrist.

“Mind if I come with you?” something about his eyes make it impossible to say no, so the two of you head out into the main hall. “Tell me about yourself? How did a beautiful girl like you end up alone at a pantomime on New Year’s Eve?” he asks as you climb the theatre stairs, no destination in mind. You blush at the compliment, staring down at your feet.

“Tickets were free” you answer lamely, cursing yourself for not being a more interesting person. “What about you, guy like you must have a family, or a girlfriend, wondering where you are?”

“Nope.” He pops the p deliberately “Family lives abroad and girlfriend is none-existent.” He looks at you intently, trying to gauge your reaction to his relationship status. You reach the top of the old theatre to find an observatory. You’ve seen it from the outside a couple times but never realised it was so easy to get up there. You spin around looking out of the large glass dome, until your eyes land on Jin. He is staring straight up at the small grey flecks whirring around in the strong winds.

“It’s snowing.” He whispers.

“We’re snowed in.” You whisper back as your eyes focus on the thick blanket of snow below you. There’s a small sofa to the side of the room, you head to sit down, Jin following close behind. You spend a while getting to know one another. You learn he has been in the country for a little over a year. His family were supposed to come and visit this new year, but they decided the travel wasn’t worth the hassle. You tell him how you’d had the option but didn’t want to return home. The fighting was too much for you to be bothered, it was much easier to use work as an excuse instead.

“Our families suck.” He comments when you finish speaking. “I’m glad I could spend New Year’s with you instead.” The look in his eyes is so earnest its hard not to believe him.

“Speaking of which, it’s nearly midnight.” The wind has died down now. And from where your sat you can see the cities large bell tower ticking down the seconds until the new year begins.”

“So… who you kissing at midnight?” he asks. You laugh for a second until you see he isn’t joking. He has started to lean towards you, not waiting for you to answer. As the bell tolls across the city his lips meet yours. Just as soft as you’d first imagined. You lean into the kiss. It's warm and inviting, you don’t want to stop, but when the chimes fade, he pulls away. Loud bangs sound above your head. Fireworks sparks appear in the distance away from the direction the storm had gone. You rush to the closest window to watch, in awe of the bright colours. Jin wraps an arm around your waist and leans into your ear.

“When this is over and we can leave… will I see you again?”

Masterlist

[hanna-kin]

This is rough and so so bad. I’m sorry. Without subtitles I struggle to understand/hear some parts. Especially when they talk at the same time. I did my best though. Skipped over a couple of things since I didn’t understand what they were saying. 

Host: I have some very special guest here today. I’m sitting here with Linn Skåber and Tarjei Sandvik Moe. We are going to talk about Linn Skåber’s very successful novel “Til Ungdomen” which is now being made into a theatre piece. Welcome, back Linn! And merry Christmas Tarjei.

Tarjei: Merry Christmas.

Host: Is this the first time you are celebrating Christmas on TV?

Tarjei: I think so yes.

Host: What is that like?

Tarjei: It’s quite early so there is plenty of time for other things.

Host: What would you have done if you weren’t here?

Tarjei: Slept!

Host: Right, because you are almost an adolescent yourself. They like to sleep in.

Tarjei: I’m alone at home and has no one to wake me up.

Linn: We can make this into a tradition, can’t we?

Tarjei: Yeah.

Host: Sounds nice, you are welcome back next year. Let’s see how this turns out first. You are here to talk about your very successful novel “Til Ungdomen” both in terms of sales and with many awards. And now it will be a theatre piece and you who is an experienced author is entering a new world by playing theatre. How does that feel?

Linn: It feels like one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done. Especially putting the whole project in someone else’s hands. It is a book with monologues so when I wrote it, it crossed my mind. But that someone else are now doing it, like you are now. It makes me very excited. I like when others take my work and transform it into something new.

Host: Aren’t you involved in the process at all?

Linn: No, I’m not involved at all. I didn’t really choose to but I do like it. I’ll be a guest at the premiere and I’ll go backstage and visit the young actors. This was supposed to be a surprise but I thought I’d bring cookies. How does that sound?

Tarjei: Really good.

Host: And you can do that? Stay away? I would be itching to see what they are doing. Like, “not this is not what I meant, it’s not supposed to be like this.”

Linn: No, this might a personality trait that is pretty unusual but that I’m most proud off. I love delegating the responsibility to others. It makes my life a lot easier. And no matter the final product, I love the fact that others have worked on it.

Host: You have worked together before in “sporvogn til begjær”. I saw the both of you in it. Tarjei, you are going to bring life into her texts. You are twenty years old, it wasn’t that long ago since you were a teenager. Have you been emotionally affected by the texts?

Tarjei: Yeah, definitely

Host: In what way? 

Tarjei: I begun reading them last year before I knew I was going to work with them. They are very relatable. It’s like you have written about a situation in any class of high school and you have talked to the people there and know exactly how they feel. It’s so real and beautiful. The texts are so full of life which is perfect. Both as a novel and for theatre. It’s really cool to get a chance to do this.

Host: The stories could have been about you.

Tarjei: Yeah, but humans are so alike. Like a situation doesn’t have to, I don’t have to have the exact same experience, but I have felt the same and had the same feelings. Everyone that has been young has had those feelings.

Host: But who were you as a teenager? The insecure guy? The coolest guy in school?

Tarjei: No, in school I played football and thought that was great but I didn’t really know who I was. And then I stumbled upon a musical class. Then I knew that I wanted to do theatre for the rest of my life. But then I got really bad stage fright. Really, really bad. I started working professionally at age 16 at it made me more insecure.

Host: How old were you when you started Skam?

Tarjei: 16.

Host: You were 16? And then you got insecure?

Tarjei: Before I was like, sitting at home watching tv stating “I can do that too”. But then I realised that it is a very difficult profession. Sometimes at least.

Host: Isn’t it heard being a role model for everyone?

Linn: Theatre is a bit special, I agree with you Tarjei because even if it seems like you are very confident but you are reaching so far within yourself all the time. You are never as confident as you seem. You are so vulnerable all the time.

Host: But who were you as a teenager? You were the cool girl, right?

Linn: No, I don’t think so. I think Tarjei explained it so well. There is something special about that time in life because it never stays the same. Just like you said, one moment you feel super confident but in the next you are very vulnerable. Especially when you are just becoming an adult. You may be abit like this as an adult too but there are so many things going on during that time. Your body changes, your mind changes.

Tarjei: Big feelings.

Host: I thought it was terrible back then. I don’t get sad thinking about it but I don’t wish to go back to that age. But you went around talking to people…

Linn: I just have to tell you one more thing from when my confidence was on top. I remember standing infront of a mirror with several spots in my face and permed hair like everyone during the 80’s and I thought, it won’t get better than this. I was so happy with myself.

Host: If you read the papers it is easy to get the impression that every teenager is like Greta Thunberg and want to save the environment: You travelled around and met many teens. Is it like that? What do you think today’s young people are obsessed with?

Linn: I’ll try to make it short. They are the generation of accomplishment. They truly are. They are much more aware of the world then we were. They have the internet. They worry about everything. The environment, their parents, their grandparents, friends. Because of this they also grow emphatic. Therefor I’d like to call this generation the generation of care.

Host: Because that’s what you feel it is?

Linn: Yeah, definitely. It’s a much easier name for them to associate with and it is also true.

Host: Do you agree, Tarjei?

Tarjei: Yes. This is the best generation ever. Lots to look forward to.

Linn: Lots to look forward to. We have a very good man in him from what I’ve noticed from our talks.

Host: What are you doing later today, tarjei? You are not staying here the entire evening. I hope.

Tarjei: Yeah I hope not. I’m going to celebrate Christmas Eve with my family.

Host: What are you going to eat?

Tarjei: Ribs

Host: Ribs!

Linn: But he had Pinnekjøtt  last night.

Tarjei: Yeah, I sat all my myself and watch a divorce movie and ate Pinnekjøtt . It can only get better.

Host: And it will. I hope you’ll get everything you wished for. And you are going to Gjøvik

Linn: Yes I am. Looking forward to the drive there and the changing landscape because Gjøvik is a wintery/christmassy town

Host: Merry Christmas, Thank you so much for coming. We are looking forward to the new play.

Linn: Yes, it will premiere…

Tarjei: Oslo nye theatre, January 22.  Be there. We’ll play it during February and March. It will be amazing.

[sherlollydramoine]

Can I request a belated Rami NYE elopement? It can be really fluffy just a glittery wonderland. If not I am totally down for a real nice rom-com moment for valentine's day in NYC xx

Here it is doll. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Just some cuteness, might be some language, no smut, pure fluff. 

Word Count: 1917

Glancing at yourself in the mirror one last time smiling to yourself. You couldn’t help the excitement that was building because your friends and family were going to be in for one hell of a shock. They all thought they were just showing up to a fancy dress New Year’s Eve party at a nice bar that you and Rami had rented out for the evening, but what they didn’t know was that the two of you had been planning this moment for over a year. Noone even knew that the two of you were actually engaged to be married. 

Heading downstairs you find Rami sitting on the couch nervously playing with his tie. He wore them so well, but he never really liked them. 

Letting out a small sigh you smile up at him, “You ready babe? I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces when they realize what’s going to happen tonight.”

“I’m nervous.” was all he managed to say.

“Don’t be my love. This was all your idea anyway.” you reassure him. His eyes finding yours as he smiles up at you, reaching out for your hands. 

“I love you. Also, Joe called and he’s sweating bullets. He said that he was having a hard time keeping this a secret. You look absolutely stunning. That white dress looks good on you.” he rambles, while you you just nuzzle your head into his chest. 

“Shall we go? Do you have everything we need? I have your ring on my right hand, do you have mine?” you ask with a brow raised. He would accidentally forget the one thing that he actually needed to bring.

He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls it out, “I’ve got it!”

You laugh as you take his hand and lead him towards the garage. 

“We have to go, or we’ll be late for our own wedding. And by the way my love, you look so fucking gorgeous tonight. Just quit fiddling with your damn tie.” you gently scold, as you pull him towards the car. 

The location that you had chosen was actually located just off the water. Half the building was glass which made the water view spectacular. The rest of the building was decorated to look like a very classy, glittery, winter wonderland. 

You wandered around surveying all the gorgeous decorations, the tables were set and everything was absolutely perfect for tonight. 

“The party planner sure did a fantastic job with this place didn’t she?”Rami asks, and you just nod your head. 

“I don’t think one detail was overlooked. It’s just perfect Rami. Absolutely perfect!” you coo, while dancing around him in a circle. He just laughs at your goofiness. 

Suddenly the door to the bar swings open and in walks Joe, the one you’ve asked to officiate your wedding ceremony. He had gotten certified online just to do this for the two of you, and he was fully prepared with all the necessary paperwork. 

After about an hour or so the rest of your family and friends had finally arrived to the venue all dressed to the nines. The party was in full swing. 

Your nerves were starting to get the best of you and the closer it got to midnight the antsier the both of you became. You were about four glasses of champagne deep and feeling warm and giggly. 

Joe called everyone’s attention at about eleven-thirty. A whole room full of people went absolutely silent at the sight of Joe standing on a chair yelling at the top of his lungs to pay attention. Your hand in Rami’s as Joe does exactly as you asked him to do.

“So you all may be wondering why I’ve called all of your attention. I know you all think that you are just here for a New Year’s Eve party. That is part of it but Rami and YN have also decided that tonight would be a great time for a very special surprise. If you all could please find a seat and get settled as quickly as possible.”

A lot of murmuring was going around but eventually everyone found a seat. 

Rami took your hand and guided you to the front of the bar, the little fairy lights that had been placed all around making his eyes sparkle. 

Joe clears his throat at the same time you hear some gasps coming from around the room. 

“Yes, this is exactly what you think it is. These two dweebs are finally going to tie the knot! So children, if we can all settle down, we’re running short on time and they wanted this done before midnight.” Joe addresses the group.

The whole time you are standing there in front of Joe, holding Rami’s hands looking up at him nervously. You both had planned this for about a year and you know the decision is for the best, but you still couldn’t help the nervousness. Rami can sense your unease and squeezes your hands before leaning in to give you a small chaste kiss. 

“Hey none of that kissing stuff yet, you have to wait for that my man!” Joe scolds, and everyone laughs including the two of you.

“Just trying to ease her nerves a little bit dude. Chill.” Rami laughs.

Joe clears his throat again and then launches into the actual wedding speeches he had planned. You had both told him that you didn’t care what he said as long as it wasn’t too gross, because Joe has a propensity for saying inappropriate things at the worst time.

All too quickly it was time for the vows and exchanging of the rings. 

“YN, I just, I know I was supposed to have prepared something and I did, but here now in the moment I can’t remember what I wrote. I just want to say that from the first moment we met I knew that you were the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. You make me feel alive and so very loved. I could never imagine my life without you in it ever, and so if you’ll have me, will you allow me to love you every day for the rest of our lives? Because I want nothing more than to be yours, and only yours forever.” he says, with tears in his eyes. You knew he meant it all of his words were coming straight from his heart. 

Your eyes filling with tears at the thoughtfulness, sincerity and absolute love behind his words. Choking back a small sob he continues on.

“So YN I make this promise to you now that I, Rami Said Malek,will love you and only you for the rest of our days. Through everything that life may throw at us. Ups and downs, sickness and health, and I promise that nothing will ever tear us apart. With this ring, I take you as my Wife, my one and only until death do us part.” he says, as he slides the ring that he’d had in his pocket onto your finger. Giving your hand a gentle squeeze his eyes shining with tears. 

Joe turns to you and informs you quietly that it is your time to speak your vows.

“Rami, my love. I-I-Oh man-How do I follow that beautiful speech up?”you laugh and he chuckles. 

“Rami, I too have known since we met that you were the only man that I would ever want. You make life an adventure everyday and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The way you love me, you make me laugh, you make me smile. I’ve never met anyone that has made me feel the way that you do and for that I’m glad. I hope that we have many more years of love and laughter. The joy you have brought to my life along with the chaos has always been worth it. I will love you until the day I die, and to answer your question; yes, yes I will allow you to me every day for the rest of our lives. I too want nothing more than to be yours, and only yours forever. So Rami I make this promise to you now that I, YFN/YMN/YLN, will love you and only you for the rest of our days. Through everything that life may throw at us. Ups and downs, sickness and health, and I promise that nothing will ever tear us apart. With this ring, I take you as my Husband, my one and only until death do us part.”you say, as you pull the ring you’d had on your right hand off, and slid it on his finger. 

Joe just smiles at you two, knowing he has to speak quickly or else you’ll both jump the gun.

“So YN and Rami, now that you guys have officially declared your love for each other, I have one more important question to ask you.”

Both you and Rami look up at Joe, as Joe asks the question. 

“Rami, do you take YN to be the wife of your days, the companion of your heart and the friend of your life? To stand united in the face of adversity and bask together in the light of good fortune? With these words spoken, and all those as yet unspoken, do you wish to marry YN and join your life with hers?”

“Oh my God I do! I do! I do!” he repeats while smiling up at you, eyes shining with unshed tears again.

Joe turns to you and asks the same question.

“YN, do you take Rami to be the husband of your days, the companion of your heart and the friend of your life? To stand united in the face of adversity and bask together in the light of good fortune? With these words spoken, and all those as yet unspoken, do you wish to marry Rami and join your life with his?”

“Yes! I do! I really fucking do!” you laugh out, and all of your friends and family join in, as you bring your hand to your mouth realizing what you had just said.

“Well folks, I think we know what happens next, don’t we? YN and Rami, you have expressed your love to one another through the commitment and promises you have just made. It is with these in mind that I pronounce you husband and wife. You have kissed a thousand times, maybe more. But today the feeling is new. No longer simply partners and best friends, you have become husband and wife and can now seal the agreement with a kiss. Today, your kiss is a promise. Rami, you now may kiss your bride.” 

Joe barely finished before you found yourself being pulled closer to Rami.His hands coming up to your face as your lips crash together, your tongues dancing  as your fingers thread through his hair. You can hear the various shouts and cheers from your friends and family. As soon as you pull apart, you both look up at the clock and realize that you had just had your first kiss at midnight, which is what you had planned for. 

The fireworks began going off outside lighting up the room with their technicolor shades. Your family and friends began shouting “Happy New Year!” and also exchanging hugs and kisses, as you both just stand there wrapped in each other’s arms watching the fireworks display over the water.

@free-rami @xmxisxforxmaybe @mrhoemazzello @txmel @ramimedley @itsme690 @the-real-ramimalekpeen @hissom1933 @youthtea @r-ahh-mi @spacedustmazzello @imnottiredofgettingoveryou @ramimalekpan @itslula1991 @sasha–1996 @safinsscar @warmommy @mezzomercury @sassystrawberryk @happy-rami @alottanothing @ladyr0b0t

[rynnvstill]

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year family and friends! We’ve made it to 2018!!! 

I’m so happy and thankful to the Lord to see another year and with new years comes renewed refocus and new goals to achieve. Before I get into the gaze ahead for 2018, I would like to reflect on 2017.

I mentioned on my FB that 2017 wasn’t my best year for me and my family. There were some ups but mostly downs.  It wasn’t a bad year but it was an extremely hard one. There were things I faced in 2017 that made me plant my face in my hands and cry “God, why me?!” Thankfully God was with me all the way even though many times I felt very alone. Everything was challenged. 

Mommy Blues

Oct 6th 2016 I became a new mommy to a beautiful baby girl. The beginning was really rough. I had a C section and could barely hold Naomi because I was in so much pain. I had a hard time using the bathroom ( which I found out later was normal). Trying to recover from my C section and learning how to take care of newborn was very challenging and it took a tole on me. Naomi also had acid reflux in the beginning and a stomach virus around four or five months. On top of all that, there was a 50% chance that I’d pass my hereditary pain epilepsy to her, so we had to constantly in and out of  doctors for her.

 It turns out that she does have the same pain condition as me but we’re working with the neurologist to get her treated. Once we figured out she had the condition, things got a little bit easier because we knew how to care for her to prevent her from having a pain episode.  eventually, the acid reflux went away as well. 

After my 8 weeks of maternity leave, I was cleared to go back to work and I was not happy about that. I wanted noting more than to be home with my baby but instead I had to have other women watch her. I hated the idea of sitting at work some days doing nothing while someone else was playing with her and caring for her. Between feeling guilty about passing the pain condition to her and now leaving her with other women to watch her, I develop postpartum depression. 

I needed a new job

Being a working mom became easier around the time Naomi was 8 months (I know...it took me a while to adjust) but from time to time (mainly when I had nothing to do) I felt guilty about leaving her with other women.  I didn’t get along with one of the women I worked with and I was paying a very high rate to park at my job. The lack of opportunity and abusive treatment prompt me to start looking for another job.

When I started working at the law firm back in 2015, I was very excited. I felt like it was a step in the direction of a real career. I was hoping to learn and move up. That was not the case at all. From day one the lady who “trained me” pretty much set me up to fail. I really felt like she was trying to get me fired. I was told she was my supervisor but later she expressed to me that she wasn’t my supervisor. This confused and upset me because she had a lot of say in my review and work performance. She never had anything nice to say about me and she would let everyone know her frustrations with me. She half trained me, would get frustrated if I tried to ask her a question, would talk about me to other people in the finance department and complain about me to my supervisor. She never told me when i made a mistake; she would just fix it and tell me I made a mistake. I don’t know why this lady gave me such a hard time to this day and i’ll never know but that’s ok. 

Don’t get me wrong, there were blessing from the job. My supervisor was very helpful with my doctors appointments and setting me up for my maternity leave. She even threw me a baby shower. However, the good always came with the a bad moment at this job. The woman who “trained me”  treated me pretty bad when I was pregnant. She didn’t come to my baby shower  or sign the card that was  given to me ( which was fine, I didn’t really care about that). But when  I came back from maternity leave, she thought it was a good idea to give me dirty old baby socks, a dry rotted binky, and used teething toys from her 11 year old granddaughter. I’m 28 years old so I don’t have time for drama, keep it to yourself.

 Enduring harassing situations like my lovely co-workers baby gift, on top of stressing over my expensive parking situation ($25 a day), it took a tole on my health.

Sick Days

Between Naomi and I we have had our share of doctors visits over the course of 2017. For me, it started back in March of 2017. I would get this horrible pain under my right rib around the time of my period. I notice it would start when I would take the white pills in my birth control pack. After I had to be rushed to the hospital in July when the pain got worse, the ER doctor swore that my birth control was not the cause of the pain and that my gallbladder needed to be removed.  Before I was going to  let Chestnut Hill hospital cut me open, I wanted to get a second opinion from the hospital i had Naomi at so, off to Lankenu I went. 

They conducted two test on my gallbladder and concluded that my gallbladder was functioning find. I was advised to see a GI doctor. At this point, I thought I was dying but my GI doctor told me I wasn’t dying, that I was just very constipated. Relieved (no pun intended), she explained to me that the pain I was feeling was trapped gas and stool trying to get around a corn of my GI track (interesting but how did I get so constipated?). She told me that after having deep abdominal surgery (C section), extra hormones (from the birth control), period constipation and add everyday stress (taking care of a baby, working, bills, ect.) that’s how you get extremely constipated. 

She made me do a cleanse but it didn’t work. I conducted a test of my own in October, my prescription for my birth control expired and I didn’t renew it. I wanted to see if I was right all along. If I’d stop taking it, would the pain go away. You won't believe it but that pain has not come back and I'm regular again. (TMI I know but it’s important to the story.)

Still looking for work

At this point I'm depressed because I want nothing more than to leave the law firm. Many so I don’t have to pay for parking but also because the lady I worked with was so abusive towards me in a passive aggressive sort of way too (worse case). She went from ignoring me to pushing work on my when my other co worker went out on disability. 

I was aggressively looking for another job. I had two interviews with a real estate company in Wayne PA but to this day I’m still waiting to hear back from them to know if I got the job or not. I’m pretty sure they went with someone else (I hope) but an email of decline would’ve been nice ( I think it was because I’m brown). 

I laid myself at the feet of the Lord and was honest with Him. I told Him I couldn’t work at this law firm anymore. I could keep paying for parking because it wasn’t helpful to my family. I was honest with him about the lady I worked with, that I had a hard time not hating her. I was just raw before the Lord and honest. Just like David, He heard my cry. Another real estate company reached out to me for AR position in Bryn Mawr, Pa. I had two interview with them (which made me nervous because of the last place) but this time they made an offer and I said yes!

Yes, ladies and gents, I started a new job. I don’t have to pay for parking and so it’s way better than the law firm. 

Closing the book on 2017

There were other crazy events that happened in 2017 but, this blog is getting pretty long and I want to talk about somethings I’m praying God will help me with for 2018. There were great memories of 2017 that I enjoyed very much but like I said the hard times were rough. I thank God he helped me thorough and one of the greatest lessons I’ve learn from 2017 is to trust in the Lord, rest in His grace, and bare it all to Him. He’s truly my help.

Now on to 2018

I’m totally excited about 2018. It started on NYE. I had one of the best NYEs I’ve had in a while. Charlie and I stayed home. After we put Naomi to bed, we played video games until it got closer to midnight, we had some sparkling wine, we counted down to midnight, we cheers, and had our midnight kiss. It was at that moment that I felt hopeful. Like I could feel the Lord wrap his arms around me and His peace filled my heart. It’s going to be a good year. 

Goals

I usually don’t make goals because I feel like anymore, it’s hard to keep them but this year I want to make goals. With these goal, it’s not just for 2018. These goal will be started in 2018 but will continue to grow and develop as the years progress Lord willing. Here are my goals starting 2018:

Art- yes, it’s time to get back into it but up a notch. I’ve purchased artist paints, i’ve been studying art online and practicing and now it’s time to get it done. I have a list of painting and pieces I want to get started this year and I will have an art show once i get a good portion of my work done. I would like to get some prints made and get my art on T-shirts and cups. I would like to start a website where my art is sold and also blog about them on here.

School- I’ve finally decided to go back to school but I’m keeping my major a secret until I finalize where i’m going. It will be a Masters degree. I’m really excited for what the Lord will do through me with this major. I’ll keep you posted with this

Blog- last but not least, I will be blogging again but different. I will write from time to time but I also want to get back into making videos. I will be blogging about spiritual books i’m reading, podcast i’m listening to, my read through the Bible, art pieces i’m working on and how they relate to the Word, I’ll talk about fictional books i’m reading and some funny family stories. 

Conclusion

Guy, I’m so excited for 2018! Keep me in your prayers and I’ll keep you in mine. Until next time, may the Lord keep you in His perfect peace, in Jesus Name, Amen! 

[yearinthejournal-blog]

January 1st

2009

Happy New Year! What a wild ride it has been so far, and what a fantastic ride I still have ahead of me. I am filled to the brim and running over with gratitude for my life - I rejoice at this new beginning, for I am free! Christ has redeemed me from sin, and most recently, from codependence! I am beginning my first year FREE of codependence! How splendid is this day and how good is my God! I was done reading my Tanakh this morning and I had to say another prayer before I got up because I was just filled with so many good feelings and love for God.

So, the plane ride home was fine until the end and it was terrifying when we hit Salt Lake weather. But I survived! Dee was waiting for me. We went to her house then met Allen for lunch at an Indian restaurant which was so good. Then I went home with Andrew and Dan. We stayed the night with Candace, and her family is so nice! The roads weren’t bad and now I’m home. It has been so great being home.

On Sunday I saw everyone again and gave them their presents. I gave the Finches the wall hanging about Allah and Sister Forest her olive wood nativity scene and Kristen her zatah. We went singing that night with Melody & co.

Since then, I’ve been hanging out with Hazel (we made a new video), reading a lot, not eating very much, connecting to others on the internet, driving, practicing my Hebrew, and maintaining a good balance of things I want to accomplish. I am reading Jesus the Christ, which I got from the Finches for Christmas. Forgiving Yourself, from Sister Forest, Tasting the Sky, Mere Christianity, and that’s about it. Forgiving Yourself is making me feel so close to God and is so beautifully written. Tasting the Sky is written in a unique, visual way that is very interesting. One of my New Years Resolutions is to read more.

I stayed with Erin for two days which was nice and a learning experience. She is so calm all the time, so chill. We talked a lot about Emily’s situation. I told her the whole story, without giving real names, and it was just so clear to them that Emily is being deceived. It wasn’t that clear to me because I thought it can’t be that black and white.

But it is. Emily is deceived and so was I. Those feelings I felt around Matt were exactly what I thought at the beginning - manipulation. Matt is just a very charismatic, persuasive person. I can’t believe I didn’t see it, but there have been signs all along of his true character. I wonder if Emily realized she was deceived and that’s why she has a boyfriend. Maybe she’s moved on. This situation has pointed me once again to God’s greatness and His perfect ability to take everything and turn it into good.

I remember that paper I wrote in my D&C class about Sister Forest and Dr. Fish. That primed me, I think, because D&C 50 applies so well to this situation as well. I remember being inspired to take that class. If I had stayed with the Wallaces for Christmas break, I wouldn’t have talked to Erin about all this and realized how deceived I’ve been. But I’m thankful all this has happened because it helps me to trust more in God’s plan. He truly does know what’s best, because His thoughts toward me are thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give me an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11. AHHHH! GOD IS SO WONDERFUL! How could I ever go without Him?!?!? 

Erin gave me tons of Christmas presents. A lot of chocolate and bath products! But my favorite was this chalk board. I make lists on it of things I need to do. Pretty soon I will be able to cross off “write in journal.” 

Hazel and I went to a New Years dance last night then to her friend’s house for a little “party”. It was way fun. She has been having troubles with Aaron and I’ve been trying to be there for her. 

What I am thrilled about is how good I feel about myself and the way I’ve behaved this break. I’ve not given into temptation, even though it has come. I’ve been consistent in my scripture study and not spending too much time doing one thing. My room has stayed clean and God is with me and this just feels SO GOOD! The best times in my life are when I am prospering and I still rely on God completely. 

2015

My trip to LA was underwhelming. I’m in a sad mood right now, so it might effect how I describe my trip.

When we got there and went outside the airport it was warm. The flight was awful at first. I was crying and crushing Kylie’s hand. The percocet didn’t help, but getting buzzed did. I cried when I saw LA from the plane.

On Wednesday we went to San Pedro to see the friendship bell and Palos Verdes to see a beautiful view of the ocean. It was actually a lot cooler than I thought it would be, in the early 50′s, so regrettably I didn’t bring warm clothes and was chilly the whole time.

After that we had Mexican food at El Burrito Jr. Bonnie was with us. We also got some last minute shopping done at Target, Whole Foods, and a frame store. LA is beautiful. It’s lusher and greener than I thought. I didn’t see anyone smoking the whole time I was there. People were friendlier. Palm trees everywhere. I miss it a lot. I was watching a part of Gilmore Girls where Jess goes to LA and it made me homesick.

On Christmas day, We opened presents. Kylie’s family got me a lot of stuff, but most of it I won’t use. Kylie loved her books and her parents loved their aeropress. Kylie and I went to Manhattan Beach and watched a beautiful sunset from the pier. We drank at a bar, and I got drunk on wine at her house and we went to mass. We had prime rib for dinner. I dropped my phone in the toilet and had to get it fixed, but they replaced it and didn’t charge me!

On Friday we went on a hollywood tour and saw lots of fancy houses and endured the tour guides misogynist jokes. I met Kylie’s ex on Xmas night and we really hit it off! We went to Joshua Tree on Saturday. It was pretty cool.

I felt frustrated the whole time cause I was thrown out of my routine and was on edge and couldn’t relax.

2016

I got really drunk on Wednesday and embarrassed myself and felt lonely and at the end of my rope. I woke up Thursday morning feeling awful. I don’t understand why drinking is such a lonely intense affair for me when others seem to be able to do it and feel fine. But I think it’s that same sensitivity that allows me to be so sensitive and receptive to goodness and the presence and love of Christ. And for that I’m grateful. I prayed and cried out to God that he would save me and acknowledge my dependence and helplessness before him. Barb was supportive and puts up with my griping and faults. Because of my superstition that how I spend New Years Eve is how my year will go, I decided to stay sober and be kind to myself. I read my bible before bed and went to sleep at 10 cause I got up this morning at 7 to go sledding with Christian and Phillip! We went to Clover Pass where Kylie and I drove through around Christmas but I didn’t get to enjoy the scenery cause I was driving, so I got a second chance to enjoy God’s beautiful creation there. It was majestic. Walking up the hills was arduous but satisfying and sledding was so fun! Christian has childlike wonder and enthusiasm that’s really refreshing and Phillip was nice. Christian bought us lunch. It was such a nice day - I felt so happy just being around them and feeling apart of something - because of Kaladi and living in Anchorage. I’m so grateful I accepted this offering of fellowship because it’s rare that it’s offered and rare that I accept. And I’m so glad I was sober.

I realized yesterday that this challenge of struggling with alcohol is apart of God’s plan and purpose for my life and thus I should not only be grateful for it and seek to learn from it, but also know and trust God that he will keep me safe. And in that way, I can let go and surrender to him.

And that is one of my hopes for the new year - to learn how I can actually surrender to God and empty myself, so Christ can fill me with himself and work through me.

I’m struggling with anger at Kylie over Mexico. Doing all that xmas stuff wasn’t good enough cause she hated doing it and Barb helped me realize that it’s not that I want to go somewhere with Kylie - it’s that I wish she wanted to go somewhere with me - so much that she actually planned it and prioritized it like with Rachel. And she always prioritizes Rachel over me. She called me on NYE to say she loved and missed me, but spent just as much time trying to hush Rachel’s scoffs and eye rolls. And that really upset and disgust me. I wish Kylie would stick up for me. 

2017

I started making amends! To Chelsea, Andrew, Kelsey, and Kylie so far. It’s going great - everyone has  been so kind about it. It doesn’t feel, like, amazing, like it seemed like it would, but that’s ok!

Christmas sucked - Kylie was sick and we couldn’t go on a drive so I was alone in her living room eating cliff bars and beef jerkey, watching Beavis and Butthead all day. I was mean to her and so grumpy and critical all day.

NYE was okay. We watched “No Country for Old Men” and I played GTA and went to bed at 11. We’re seeing a movie today though! “Fences.” We saw “Arrival” on xmas eve.

I got sick last week and was in a horrible mood, but Ashley said not to trust my brain so I tried not to.

I’m feeling way more empathy for people, out of nowhere. It just happened. I don’t want to make people feel bad because I feel compassion for them. This is a gift from God.