#but honestly i love the idea of them being a coach so much more already i'm fixated i'm committed and feeling things about it 2 seconds in

[fists4once]

wait okay the first verse i wanted to flesh out for archie was honestly yj because brainrot forever but i was like no... there is literally no way to justify them being there when it's a girls soccer team but then my brain trying so badly to go the hell to sleep rn was like what if... what if archie Coach not teammate....

[armins-main-hoe]

HI HELLO!!! I would like 2 request some haikyuu! Manager fluffy headcanons please??? Some of the fem! reader being chubby and popular, it can be either platonic or romantic! I also love your writing ✍️ have a good day/night 💗💗

Hello! That is honestly such a cute request and I have a few ideas for it hehehe

I’m going to do this for Karasuno and Nekoma, if you would like other teams, send in a request again saying which ones you want.

(For those who have sent in requests, don't worry, I'm getting round to writing them all up)

“Nah, I think she’s perfect the way she is”

Karasuno

In all honesty, you were really into music and you wanted to sign up for a music club, so when you found yourself standing in the gym, you couldn’t have felt any more out of place.

It seems there was a bit of a mix up with the sign up sheets and you ended up becoming the manager for the boy’s volleyball team.

You don’t know shit about volleyball.

You talked with the teachers and they said it may take some time for them to go through the sign up sheets and find an empty spot in the music club for you to switch into.

So for now, it seems like you're stuck being the boy's volleyball manager.

On your first day, you were very confused about what exactly you should be doing. I mean the team already has a coach and an qualified teacher with them, what can a student manager do?

So you just sat around, watching the boys practice while the coach yells at them. You weren't going to lie, you got a little bored...

Next few days, you would do the same thing, you even used the time to get homework done, since you thought you'd rather do something than do nothing.

You won't lie to yourself, you weren't popular, or that's what you thought, just known by everyone because of how you looked. You knew you weighed more than the other girls in your class, it didn't bother you all that much and you did always try to see the better side of things.

But that doesn't mean that everyone else thought the same.

You were eating lunch with your friends in the school courtyard when a student walking by with his friends yelled out names at you like "piggy", "diabeto" and "fat cow". You didn't really take words like that to heart, they never were all that creative with the name calling.

However, before you or your friends could say anything, a boy from the volleyball team (you pick who) came and stood up for you.

You watched as he stood in front of you and started yelling back at the boy who was name calling you. "I think she's perfect the way she is!"

As you watched him, you couldn't help but wonder "had he always been this good looking? I hadn't noticed before...."

Funny how now you suddenly feel motivated to actually look into volleyball.

So next time there was a practice, you came prepared. You did your research, you learned the basic rules of volleyball and asked other sport manager's what they do.

The boys were surprised to see you suddenly interested since you usually sat in a corner dong homework.

"The teachers are taking forever with sorting the mess up, I didn't think I'd actually be here for here for this long. But since I am, I might as well help out." You shrugged when they questioned it. It wasn't a lie completely but it wasn't the only reason.

You glanced over to the boy who stood up for you the other day before quickly looking away again, he was smiling at you.

As the weeks passed, you began to pick up more and more about volleyball. It wasn't long before you memorized the positions and each player's weakness and strength.

The other boys were quick to notice your little crush and thought that it was probably why you decided to stick around, but later they began to feel like you genuinely enjoying being manager as well. You weren't a bad manager either, you helped everyone equally and the team as a whole.

Nishinoya was little shit though, you were kind and nice to everyone but with him, you're patience wore down thin.

You did get an offer to change clubs and go do the music club you wanted, you thought of going to both volleyball and music but the timings clashed often so you had no choice but to pick.

Volleyball or music?

Oh well, you can practice music at home and the weekends, it's not like you can see your crush at home or the weekends, right?

You kinda knew making decisions based off of a boy wasn't really good for you but even if you wouldn't admit it, you kinda liked playing manager.

You actually found it fun.

When you told the boys that you were staying as their manager, you were taken back by their cheer.

"We were worried that you'd leave us when you get the chance to join the music cub" Hinata said.

"Sure, we didn't get off too well in the beginning but we like having you around now" Suga smiled at you.

The others nodded their head and in that moment, you felt immense happiness wash over you, your face felt a little hot from the praise and you felt a little embarrassed.

"Thanks guys, I promise to get better at being a manager too. I still have a lot to learn."

At the end of practice, you were helping clean up along with your not so secret crush.

"You know Y/N, I hope you don't mind what the others say about you."

You look at him. "Say what?"

"About your looks. It doesn't matter what a person looks like as long as they are happy and healthy." He says, looking at you with a sincere expression.

"Oh that, don't worry, I'm basically immune to those childish name callings, but thank you anyway for looking out for me" You smiled at him.

As you both continued to talk, you didn't see the rest of the boys spying on you both through the windows, silently cheering you and your crush on. They all are VERY supportive of you both, even though they all suck ass at being cupid.

Nekoma

No one and I mean no one has ever thought of bad mouthing you.

You quite literally were the sweetest girl in the whole school, always having pure intentions. No one could ever hate you, you got along with everyone.

You heard the volleyball club was looking for a manager for a while now with no luck so you decided to give it a go.

"hello I'm-"

"Y/N!" A few of them called out, running over to you. You recognised nearly all of the members, you had spoken to them at some point during your time as school, even the ones that were not in your year. You knew the basics of volleyball since the school sometimes made you do that in your Physical Education class.

Yamamoto was all over the place, he could basically explode with how much joy he felt. His team finally got a manager. He was so going to boast about it to his friends outside of school.

What amazed you was how seriously the boys took the sport, you weren't all that much into sports or anything really, you struggled to find something to actually be that passionate about that could lead into a future career.

So you weren't able to understand but respected their dedication and efforts nonetheless.

You were really good and hyping the boys up and giving them motivation when they needed it, some of them became very fond of you.

Kenma would sometimes try to hide behind you whenever Kuroo would be scolding him, you would give kuroo a sweet smile and lie to his face saying "I haven't seen Kenma all day!"

Whenever lev would to the same, it wouldn't work out the same but you found it enduring still. You would let out a laugh before acting like insanely tall guy was actually able to hide perfectly behind you.

Yaku would often tut at you for playing along, saying that lev needs to learn but you keep taking the seriousness out of it.

"But he has gotten better though, hasn't he?" you would say back.

"Not enough!" yaku would reply back before huffing away.

Though despite you being all smiles and sunshines most of the time, you did have moments where you would get a bit serious.

During tournaments specifically, the boys were good, really good even but so were other teams.

When you get nervous you would become quite and have a serious frown on your face.

Kinda scared the boys a bit ngl-

lev would laugh tho.

Maybe kuroo too.

They find it cute more than scary okay?

You would give them a pep talk before their very first game, promising to buy them all ice cream if they come first place.

Though no one at your school has ever badmouthed you, that doesn't mean people from other schools wouldn't.

Since you were on the chubby side, you were prone to some bullying when you were younger, though in middle school it died down a lot. The boys never saw you differently because of your weight though, you were sweet and a really good manager to them so why wouldn't they adore you?

So when they would overhear people from other schools making fun of you just because of something as little as your weight, they didn't take it that lightly.

They would only stop yelling threats and curse words when their next match is about to start or the "bad mouther" runs away. Kuroo once nearly got a bit physical too.

You would then tell them to ignore that when it happens since there is not use wasting breath over people like that, it's not like you take what they say to heart anyway... well most of the time anyway.

But like always. the team refused to ever ignore anyone making fun of you.

It's almost like you have a bunch of protective brothers, they sometimes tease you but no one else can.

I do hope you like it! Let me know if you want more :)

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Being Team Japan’s Manager:

Miss Manager is Great with Kids

Team Japan x Female Manager (she/her)

Warnings: swearing, obviously kids (sometimes they are scary 🫣)

Request here

AN: I apologize if this isn’t the best 😅

You know what’s really funny YN?

The similarities between being Team Japan’s manager and working in a preschool

Honestly it’s pretty much the same thing

Iwa drops the kids off for their morning practice

Yaku yells at them, scolding them for not playing nicely with the other team members

You have to remind them to eat and take bathroom breaks

Essentially, the same 💅

Which is why your transition from teaching to being team Japan’s manager was so easy

The guys 👉🏻 instantly love you

Was there really any doubt?

Of course, some of them *cough* ATSUMU *cough* HOSHIUMI *cough* make it their life goals to be hard on you

You can’t tell me they aren’t annoying and finicky about literally everything 🙄

But once again, it’s fine because you’ve dealt with snotty, marker covered kids pretty much your entire life

Literally these guys have nothing on a group of 3 year olds

The guys never really asked much about your previous job, not really caring much about where you came from before you started with them

Aran would occasionally bring up the subject but you��d just shrug, answering, “a little of this, a little of that.”

Let’s be honest, there’s no conversation that doesn’t involve volleyball lasting for more than 5 seconds in the Gym

Especially with Atsumu, Kageyama, Hinata and Bokuto

Guys really think that other occupations don’t even compare to Volleyball so why waste the time talking about it

However 👀 the boys would soon find out just how much they should have asked about your prior employment

Because you see, Kuroo had a little something up his sleeve to help promote Team Japan

“Come again?” Asked Gao

“A kids camp! Ages 4 to 9!” Kuroo excitedly explained

“Count me out,” Sakusa groaned

“You really think it’s a good idea for little kids to be running around while we practice?” Kageyama questioned

“Well you would t be practicing, it would strictly be for the kids,” Kuroo responded

“NO PRACTICE!” Screamed Atsumu, Kageyama, Hinata and Bokuto in unison

Iwa narrowed his eyes as you tried to keep a straight face, “listen here, if you don’t participate, I’ll have coach bench you and give your number up!”

The group immediately straightened up as Kuroo smirked

“Maybe it won’t be so bad? I mean it’s only for a couple hours right?” Komori responded

The guys all nodded as you tried your best to keep your composure

A week later, the camp was underway and let’s just say, it was going about as well as Seijoh’s chances of going to nationals 🫠

“Oh my go- gosh!” Atsumu shouted, stopping himself again from nearly letting out a bad word in front of the children

“These kids are actually feral!” Hoshiumi screamed, trying to wrangle two kids who were throwing volleyballs up into the bleachers

“I thought these kids were suppose to like volleyball!?!” Aran asked

“I never said that,” Kuroo chimed in, as he and Akaashi watched form the sidelines

Akaashi was there to do a special report on the teams event as well as take in the free entertainment

Bokuto and Hinata were rolling around on the floor, attempting (huge emphasis on ATTEMPT) to show the kids receiving

Sakusa was sitting with a group of kids who were “too cool” for this

Ushiwaka had already made 3 kids cry just by walking up to them

Iwa had left to cool down because he was at his breaking point

And you, well you had seen enough

Suddenly, Kuroo watched as you grab the microphone and headed to the middle of the gym

“Hey kids, who wants to see a professional athlete serve?” You shouted as all the kids (yes I’m including the athletes) looked over at you

Suddenly, screams and shouts filled the air as all the kids flocked towards you

The guys, Kuroo and Akaashi, included all watched in wonder

“Ok we all need to sit in the chairs because this guys serves can be either really good or really bad. Atsumu, show them!”

Atsumu rn 👉🏻👁️👄👁️ HEY MY SERVES ARENT BAD!

“I’d say it’s 50/50,” Sakusa chimed in as Atsumu growled

“Hey how come I don’t get to show them my serves Yn?” Kageyama grumbles

“Tobio you’ll get a chance just calm down and wait your turn ok?”

After the show of serves, you again grabbed the kids attention

“Ok so who wants to try spiking??” You ask as a million tiny hands shoot up

“Ok everyone get in line, littlest to oldest, and we will all get a chance to practice!”

You made your way to the nets, team and children following you like little ducks as you began to coordinate

Iwa watched in awe as your skills, impressed at your ability to manage such a wide age range

I mean 💅 this is Yn Iwa, what did you expect?

After the event, the kids all came up to you after getting their autographs and gave you a big hug

“Thanks so much Miss Yn!” They all smiled as they ran to their parents

“YN why didn’t you tell us you were good with kids?” Yaku asked

You just shrugged, “it never came up.”

“I mean it makes sense, look how good she is with the other idiots,” Iwa said, nodding over to the feral group

“OMG YN THAT WAS SO FUN! Can we do that again??” Bokuto screamed, jumping up and down

“We deal with enough children daily so no,” Sakusa said, turning to leave going to the locker room

“What kids- HEY WHAT THE HELL OMI??” Atsumu yelled

You just smiled, knowing your boys were the best kids around 😌

[before-it-felt-like-a-sin]

Cool About It

Summary: Natalie Scatorccio might be the meanest girl you know, and somehow, you've fallen for her.

Notes: please be kind this is my first fic! Not proofread. Also it's just a pretty slow burn.

"You should totally do it, y/n," Tai said to you from across the table, "I mean, you already know like half the team. And it's not like you have anything more important to do."

"Wow, Taissa. Wow. Maybe I do have more important things to do. Did you ever consider that?" You replied, taking a bite of your sandwich.

By 'it', you both meant managing the soccer team. Tai and Lottie had both been bugging you about it for months, essentially since school started. At first, it was to meet new people. Then, it was to hang out with them. Now, it's because you have nothing better to do.

"If by important, you mean spending your stepdad's money, then I guess you do have more important things to do."

"Rude, but fair. It's not my fault he gave me a credit card with no limit. Trying to buy my love or whatever."

You had moved to Wisayok at the beginning of your senior year, because your mom remarried, and your stepdad couldn't move because of his job. Coincidentally, it was also because of your stepdad that you met Lottie and Taissa. Lottie's dad and your stepdad were business partners, so you two were forced to hang out pretty often. Luckily, you got along well. Then Lottie introduced you to Tai, and you three had pretty much been inseparable since.

"Look, y/n, please just manage the team. What else are you gonna do when Lottie and I both have practice, huh?" She asks.

She kind of has you there. Sure, you have other friends, but they're either also on the soccer team, or not 'hang out outside of school' friends.

"Damn, really pulling the loser card on me are you." You replied with a look of mock-hurt on your face.

"If the shoe fits."

"Fine. I'll do it"

-----------------------------------------------------

"And this year, coming on as a new manager, is y/n y/l/n. I want you treating her with respect," coach Ben announced to the Yellowjackets on the first day of practice.

You looked around at the girls standing in front of you. Obviously, you knew Lottie and Tai. But you also knew Van. Mostly because of Taissa's insane crush on her, but you two also had a few classes together.

Shauna you also knew, but that was because you'd been paired up for a project in world history, and you got along pretty well. Jackie, of course, was team captain and Shauna's best friend. You didn't know much else about her, but she seemed fine.

Laura Lee, on the other hand, you decided to avoid at all costs. You knew she was religious as hell, and you didn't feel like being told that "god wanted you to be straight". Sure, Lottie told you that she was okay, but sometimes Lottie didn't have the best judgement.

That left Natalie. You had no idea what she was like. You knew she was friends with Van, but that was about it. Honestly, she kind of scared you.

"Hey! I'm y/n, nice to meet you all!" You said with a smile, attempting to look each of the girls in the eyes. Most of them just stared blankly back at you, but Shauna gave an encouraging smile.

This was going to be interesting.

-----------------------------------------------------

By the third week of attending practices, you'd figured most of the girls out.

Van was the team goofball. Constantly cracking jokes, trying to get people to laugh. The two of you clicked instantly, your humor just matched. You made it your lives mission to make fun of Taissa as often as possible.

Laura Lee was sweet, you had to admit, but she was a bit pushy in her religious thoughts. You weren't too upset, though. At least she hadn't tried to get you to date boys.

Shauna was just the sweetest. Definitely the team mom. She was the most welcoming to you when you were first getting started as manager, and you really appreciated it.

Jackie was a lot sometimes, but she also just believed so wholeheartedly in the team and their abilities. You admired that about her.

And Natalie? She was kind of a mess. But you felt inexplicably drawn to her. Maybe it was the messy hair, or her smudged eyeliner. Or maybe it was that you couldn't figure her out, but you wanted to.

"Y/n snap out of it. We have to leave soon," Lottie yelled at you.

"Oh shut it. I just have to put shoes on. Plus, it's a party. No one shows up on time." You replied, rolling your eyes.

"Yeah, but we have to pick up Van and Nat. And if we don't leave soon, we'll be too late for it to be socially acceptable." Taissa pulled on a jacket.

"You just want to see your girlfriend," you said, drawing out the word. Tai's brown skin flushed a dark pink. Everyone had noticed the two of them hanging out more and more. Of course, you were happy for them.

"Don't act like you don't look at Natalie like you want to bang her brains out. Tai's not the only one with a crush."

"Enough, both of you. We seriously have to leave." Tai's voice kept you from making a comment about Lottie and Laura Lee.

"Don't wanna keep your girlfriend waiting!"

"Shut it, y/n"

-----------------------------------------------------

"Y/n, Lottie, Tai, good evening ladies. Y/n, thank you for driving. I owe you my life." Van's voice bounced through your little sedan as she got into the car.

You laugh, throwing your head back a bit.

"Of course, Van. It gives me an excuse to not drink."

"Wait, you don't drink?" Nat asked, sounding like she thought you were insane.

"I don't drink at parties, at least not ones with a lot of people I don't know. It's not really my thing," you reply, attempting to keep your tone even. You knew that some people found your aversion to drinking odd, but honestly you didn't care.

"Damn Nat, don't insult the driver. She might just leave your ass," Van joked, quickly shifting the mood.

"Oh, she'll do it too," Lottie added, "I wouldn't test her."

"Maybe it's your ass I'd leave. Ever think of that?"

-----------------------------------------------------

You were standing in the kitchen, sipping a Diet Coke when Shauna walked up to you.

"Hey, y/n. I didn't really expect to see you here. You don't seem like the party type."

You smile at her. "I'm not. But Tai and Lottie roped me into it. I think they just wanted someone to drive them home, honestly."

Now it was Shauna's turn to smile at you. "I'm sure that's not the only reason."

"You're probably right about that."

"Where are they, anyway? You'd think after convincing you to come to a party they'd at least hang out with you."

"I seriously have no idea. I don't care though, as long as I can find them when it's time to leave."

"Let's go find them. Or at least one of them. You shouldn't be standing here alone at a party you didn't even want to go to."

"Shauna, you're being really nice and all, but you should go have fun. I don't mind being here alone."

"Are you sure? Because if not I could-" before Shauna could finish, Natalie walked up to the both of you.

"Shauna, leave the poor girl alone." Natalie leaned up against the kitchen counter.

"Don't be a bitch, Nat."

"Hey, let's not fight in the kitchen. Nat's right, though, Shauna. You don't have to stay here with me."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely. Plus, now I have found someone to talk to." You gesture towards Natalie and smile at Shauna. She looks as if she's not totally sure if she's believes you, but she walks away anyway.

Once she's out of sight, you turn to Nat. "Thanks for saving me, but you didn't have to be mean to her. She just wants to make sure everyone's having a good time."

She scoffs, "that wasn't mean."

You roll your eyes, "sure," you say, and turn to walk away.

"Hey, wait."

"Dude, I know you don't really want to spend your time here talking to me. You don't have to pretend like you do."

For a moment, Natalie almost looks hurt. Before you can tell for sure, her face changes and she's smirking at you.

"You're right. Go find Lottie and follow her around like a puppy. I know that's what you want to do anyway."

You don't even dignify her with a response, and just walk away for real this time. You spot Lottie from across the room, and almost walk over to her, but then you remember Nat's words. They shouldn't have affected you the way they did, but you look back to see if Natalie's watching you.

When you turn around, she looks you right in the eyes and smirks, almost daring you to go over there. Part of you wants to, to prove that you don't care what she thinks. The other part wants to show her that you don't just exist around Lottie.

After a few minutes of internal struggle, the latter part wins out. You turn away from Lottie, and walk towards the back porch, hoping to spot Tai or Van.

Luckily for you, Van wasn't far away. You make your way over to her, half hoping that Natalie is still watching you. You want to show her that you do have friends, and she can fuck all the way off.

"Hey, y/n, enjoying your first Wisayok party? Isn't it grand? Everything you hoped it would be and more?" Van asked, obviously messing with you.

"Oh yeah. Shitty music. Shittier company. My ideal Friday night."

Van laughs. "I'm honestly surprised you even came. Tai talks about how much you hate things like this all the time."

"What do I talk about?" Tai approached the both of you, handing a cup of what you assumed to be beer to Van.

"How anti-party y/n is."

"I'm not anti-party. I'm ant-most of the people at them."

"God, you sound like Natalie. I swear you two would get along so well if she gave you a chance," Van said.

"I don't think she wants to give me a chance. Honestly I don't care. If she wants to believe I'm some perfect stuck-up little princess, I don't give a shit. She doesn't know me." You take another sip of your drink.

"She doesn't think that. Everyone knows you're not stuck up. She just doesn't like new people very much." Van looked at Taissa, as if for confirmation.

"Van's right. She didn't speak to like half the team until halfway through the season our freshman year. Although, I'm still not totally sure she's warmed up to everyone. She might still hate Jackie."

"Fabulous. Jackie and I can start a club."

"Y/n." Tai gave you a look that would make even a tree wither.

"Can you imagine that? Me and Jackie starting a 'Natalie hates us' club?"

"I'm sure Jackie has much better things to do. I also don't think Natalie hates you. I think you kind of intimidate her," Van said offhandedly, as if that was widely known information.

"Yeah, my great tits and winning personality intimidate Natalie Scatorccio, who half the time shows up to class high, or drunk, or both. I'm pretty sure I couldn't intimidate a worm. Much less Nat." You laugh, trying to imagine Natalie being intimidated by you.

"Maybe not the personality, but definitely the tits."

"Why are we talking about y/n's tits? Do I want to know?" Lottie asked.

"Those two are talking about how intimidated Natalie is by them. Which, if we're judging by how she was staring earlier, I'd agree," Taissa answered.

"Okay, new topic. Can we leave?" You asked the three of them, hoping for a yes. "We can even go back to my place. I just don't want to be here."

"We have to find Nat, but sure," replied Lottie, speaking for the group.

"Do we have to?"

"Y/n, I was joking about leaving her ass when we were in the car. She'd kill me if we left."

"Ugh"

"Come on, loser," said Tai.

-----------------------------------------------------

Drunk Natalie was both fun, and your worst nightmare.

"I'm just saying, Nirvana is the best. Nothing and no one beats them. Nothing. And. No one." Van had to support all of her weight, and essentially threw her into the passenger seat of your car.

"I don't want her getting carsick in the back." Van's look almost made you forgive her. Almost.

"I won't get carsick."

"Tell that to the back of Tai's car."

"Okay, assholes. Enough. Get in. Get buckled. Does anyone need me to drop them off, or are we going back to mine?" You ask.

They all chorus 'no's', so you put the car into gear and check that everyone's seatbelts are on. All three in the back seem to be secured, so you turn to Nat. As expected, she hasn't put hers on.

"Natalie, this car doesn't move until you put that seatbelt on.

"Why do you even care?" She glares at you, and it takes everything in you to not hit her.

"Because I don't want anyone to die. Even assholes like you. Don't make me do it for you."

She looks like she wants to defy you again, but she then sees the look on your face and thinks better of it. Soon enough, she's buckled in, and you can finally start your drive home.

"I can't believe we're finally seeing the princess's castle."

Yep. Drunk Natalie was your worst nightmare.

"I can take you home right now. Don't think I won't."

"Oh, I know you will. I just like fucking with you. I like seeing you all pissed off."

"Hi, Nat, it's me, Van, your best friend. Please remember there are other people in the car before flirting with y/n. Thanks." You heard all three of the girls in the back giggling, and your face flushed.

"That wasn't flirting, dumbass. Generally, flirting is done when you like someone."

"Why doesn't drunk Natalie shut the hell up?" You ask, feeling so many different things. On one hand, Natalie was flirting with you, right? She had to be. On the other, why would she flirt with you? She hated you. Unless she really was intimidated by you. God, when you got home you were definitely breaking your 'no drinking' rule.

"Okay, Princess. Whatever you say"

"I said shut up"

-----------------------------------------------------

"Never have I ever... fallen for my best friend," Van asked, waiting for someone to take a drink.

For what felt like the millionth time tonight, you were the only one to drink. You guessed it was fair, since you needed to catch up to everyone else. But damn, this vodka was gross.

"Wait, really? Who?" Van looked at you, waiting for a response.

"Someone back home. Her name was Molly. We're still friends, too. She's pretty and blonde, and a little bit of a mess. We just fit in the right way. Didn't work out though. I was a bitch, and I fucked up for a while." You didn't know why you said all of that. That was normally something you kept incredibly close to your chest.

"So not Lottie?" Natalie asked, slurring a bit. You should've just taken her back to her place, but something kept you from doing it. You really regretted that choice now.

"Fuck off. I'm done playing." You get up and stumble a bit, but then gain your balance, "feel free to keep going, but I'm going to bed."

"You aren't gonna share your bed, Princess?"

"Natalie, I will make you sleep outside. Fuck the fuck off."

"God, I was just messing with you. Chill out."

"Okay guys, let's not be hostile. Y/n, go to bed. Honestly, we all should," said Lottie. You shot her a grateful look, and attempted to make your way up the stairs. You didn't make it very far before you face planted. Apparently you had drank more than you thought.

"Shit, y/n, you okay?" Tai shot up from where she was sitting on the floor.

"Fine. I might just sleep on the couch. Apparently I can't walk up the stairs."

Tai and Van help you make your way to the couch, and give you one of the throw blankets. Soon enough, you're passed out.

-----------------------------------------------------

You wake up, and it takes you a second to figure out where you are. Then it hits you like a ton of bricks. Literally, your head is pounding, and you remember what happened.

As you sat up, you looked around for you friends. The only person you saw, though, was Natalie. That's when you saw the note. You picked it up, and read it.

'Hey y/n, I took Lottie and Van home, but you and Nat were both still out cold. Sorry I left her, but hungover, tired Natalie isn't something I wanna deal with' -Tai.

God fuck. What a great way to start your day. After a few minutes of agonizing, you decided to get your ass up and make breakfast. You padded to the kitchen and poured yourself a cup of iced coffee, and got out the waffle maker. If you were gonna have to deal with Natalie hungover, you were gonna at least do it caffeinated.

While the waffle maker heated up, you did a quick change into sweats and an old t-shirt, and you washed yesterday's makeup off your face.

By the time you walked back downstairs, the waffle maker was ready, and you began working on the batter while sipping your coffee.

After a while, you heard rustling of blankets in your living room. Soon enough, Natalie was standing in the doorway of your kitchen. Silently, you gestured to the island where you set out a cup of coffee for her.

She walked over and sat down. Smiling softly at you, she picked up the coffee and took a sip.

"I'm making waffles, if you want one."

"Sure."

The way her voice rasped nearly made you drop your cup. Something about it made you want to listen to it forever.

Somehow, you reeled yourself in. Your crush on her was pointless. She hated you. Your waffles weren't going to change that.

For a while, the both of you sat in near silence. She said thank you for the waffle, but that was the extent of your breakfast conversation.

"I should probably leave soon."

"Yeah, sure. Just let me grab my shoes and I can take you."

"It's fine, I can walk."

"You absolutely cannot. It's like 3 miles. And you're wearing platforms."

"I don't need your help."

"I either take you home or you don't leave."

"Why do you even care? I'm nothing but an ass to you, yet you still act like we're friends. Clearly, we're not." Her face is hard, and it takes a lot for you to not cry.

"God fuck, Natalie. Heaven forbid I just be a good person." You stare at her, trying to get her to understand, or at least listen to you.

"I don't want you to be good to me."

"Why. Why not. I try to be good to everyone. Why are you different?" You're nearly yelling now.

"Because, y/n, I don't deserve it."

"Fuck you, Natalie. Fuck you. I'm taking you home. That's it." You walk over to her and look at her in her eyes.

She stares right back. "No, y/n, you're not." She makes a move to get up and walk away, but you grab her wrist and pull her back.

For a moment, she looks like she's going to hit you. Instead, what comes next is completely unexpected. She leans in and kisses you. While you're stunned into silence, that's when she makes her escape.

"I'm leaving, y/n. See you at school on Monday."

-----------------------------------------------------

Two days. Two days of sitting in your house, not talking to anyone. Wondering what Natalie was doing. Waiting for her to call. But why would she call. She didn't owe you one. She just kissed you to get you to leave her alone, right? She didn't really like you, right?

You managed to make it through the entire school day without seeing Natalie, and you couldn't tell if it was a blessing or a curse. But you knew you couldn't avoid her at practice. That she couldn't avoid you at practice.

Throughout the whole practice, you watched her. You watched her run drills. You watched her 1v1 Lottie. You watched her scrimmage the JV team. And you watched her not watch you at all.

Finally, practice was over. You hurried to help coach put everything away, hoping to catch Natalie before she left. As you walked to the locker room, you spotted her.

"Natalie, hey, Nat, wait!" You ran over to her, waving. She just kept walking.

"Natalie, come on. We need to talk."

"About what, y/n?" Her tone was icy, and you didn't know why. She was the one who left you.

"Don't do this. Just come with me. Please."

"What am I getting out of this?"

"I don't know, Nat. What does it matter. If you don't like what I have to say, I'll leave you alone. For real." At that, she turns around and looks at you.

"Fine. Where are we going?"

"My car, I guess. Come on, it's over here." The two of you walk in silence to where you're parked, and you unlock the doors. Simultaneously, you both get in.

"What do you want to talk about, y/n?" She sounds bored.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that you fucking kissed me, and then ignored me all weekend. I thought you might be dead, Natalie." Your voice was hard, but there was an underlying sadness to it.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I made it home," she joked, expecting you to laugh, or at least roll your eyes.

"Don't be a bitch, you know that isn't all."

"Fine. The kiss wasn't anything. Is that better? I don't have feelings for you. Don't worry about that." Her voice isn't joking anymore.

"Fuck you, Natalie. I can't believe you literally just kissed me to get me to leave you alone. God. Using my crush on you to your advantage like that." You turn away from her, not wanting her to see you tear up.

"Wait. You have a crush on me?" Her voice softens, and you see in the window reflection that she moves to touch your hand, but then seems to think better of it.

"Fucking obviously. Clearly you don't feel the same, which is fine, but you don't have to use me like that."

"Shit, y/n, I'm sorry. I..." she trails off, and you wait for her to finish.

"You what, Natalie? Hm? I can't deal with your bullshit right now. Get out with it."

This time, she does make a move to touch you. She places one hand on yours, and moves the other to the side of your face.

"I lied."

"What?"

"About not having feelings for you." With this, she uses the hand on your face to turn your head towards her. For a moment, you just look at each other, drinking everything in, before she speaks quietly.

"Can I kiss you, for real this time?"

"Yes." Your voice is barely a whisper, but as soon as she has her permission, her lips are on yours. You thread your fingers into her blonde waves, and both of her hands cup your face.

You sit like that for what seems like hours, just kissing and kissing, only stopping to come up for air. You know your lipgloss had to have smeared, but you can't bring yourself to care.

Eventually, though, you stop. When she pulls away, it takes everything in you not to force her lips back on yours.

"That's why I've been such a bitch to you. Because I have feelings for you. And I don't know what to do with them." She almost sounds small saying that, the admission seeming so unlike her.

"Hm. I know how you can make it up to me."

[puffin-smoke]

hi my brain is going a mile a minute right now and the world needs to know so

Here are Puffin's vaguely organised thoughts about Lovely x Treasure :DDD

They've been friends since high-school, they're basically attached at the hip at this point, you can't get one without the other

You invite Treasure somewhere? Lovely is coming for moral support. You invite Lovely somewhere? Treasure is being dragged along.

Lovely is Treasure's scary dog privilege. Habitually threatens to slash the tires of anyone who hurts them. "I just want to talk to them-" "Love, last time you "talked" to someone you ended up in the ICU."

Everyone Treasure dates has to get through Lovely first. It's like meeting your partner's parents. Almost nobody gets their approval

Now, why are they doing all this? Because they have feelings for Treasure, but won't act on them. Lovely has fully resigned themself to the idea that they're not good enough for them, so they're trying to find someone who is. Who can treat them right, who can be what Lovely can't.

Lovely is convinced it would never work out; eventually Treasure would figure out they're too good for them. Where Lovely is brash Treasure is calm and collected. Where Lovely acts without thinking, Treasure never stops thinking. They're convinced it would be oil and water.

MEANWHILE, Treasure has liked Lovely since the day they first met, but thinks that Lovely doesn't feel the same way because they keep trying to set them up with people.

They actually start to think that Lovely already knows about their feelings for them and is trying to let them down the easy way. Which honestly just hurts more than outright rejection.

miscommunication trope my beloved.

requited unrequited love my other beloved

So they both repress their feelings and eventually drift apart.

Until they meet again at the Vampire Summit (the fact that Treasure didn't go originally is a CRIME)

Vincent sat Lovely and Treasure next to each other without knowing they had a past together. Neither of them knew the other would be there, so the reunion was incredibly unexpected

They get to catching up, and Treasure can feel all their old feelings resurfacing the more they learn about who Lovely has become. Vampire Royalty is just their type apparently

Same goes for Lovely, who's missed them for so long. They regret ever letting them drift out of their life but still can't bring themself to tell them how they feel. And also they look hot as shit in their summit outfit.

And then things start going to shit, as the Summit does. Lovely sticks by Treasure's side throughout it, knowing how terrifying this must be for them. They planned to give Porter a talking to as soon as this was all over, and probably a repeat of their famous right rook. At this point they'd firmly decided that he was nowhere near good enough for Treasure. Internally they are keying his car.

Things are going well, as well as can be expected, up until the trial. The verdict is cast and Christopher is beheaded. And Lovely freaks out, immediately reminded of Adam's death.

So Treasure watches the strongest person they know, the person who defended them through thick and thin, who never showed even a sliver of weakness, run from the venue as though they had seen a ghost. And finds them hyperventilating on a bench in the cold.

They run to sit by them and coach them through the panic, holding their hands in theirs.

All Lovely can think about is how warm Treasure is.

When they begin to breath normally again, the pair just sit in silence for a while. Lovely is the first to speak.

"One hell of a party."

Treasure laughs. "The appetisers were pretty damn good."

"So's the company." Lovely smiles, and leans their head on Treasure's shoulder, soaking up their warmth. "I missed you."

In that moment, all Treasure wanted was to kiss them. To grab their chin and press their lips to theirs and steal back all the time they'd wasted. But instead they just lean into the touch as much as they'll let themself, and close their eyes. "Me too."

and that's all for now BYE

[celestetcetera]

YOUR TAGS ON MY 14~DONNA/SHAUN POST......FINALLY SOMEONE WHO'S ALSO SO SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM!!!!!!! hello hi....... O.O

YES HI HIII!!! Omg I literally have been thinking about Them nonstop <3 i love me a good queerplatonic situation

sidenote i do believe your post is responsible for my and my sibling's nonstop use of the phrase "queerplatonic V" (which we have been applying to 14~donna/shaun (sidenote we need a cool name for this ship) as well as a few other dynamics in different media. lmao i have a shipping type)

anwyay. here's some of my brainrot Thoughts about them:

Shaun is so supportive of his wife’s newoldfound alien platonic soulmate <3 he’s just happy to see her laugh and smile all the time. where before when she tried to remember she'd get sad and not understand why

Absolutely this fic’s fault but I love the idea of Rose & Shaun being the ones to be like. Oh yeah these guys are queerplatonic as HELL but they'll never notice so they push them together

A special favorite of this dynamic is Shaun making them go on Platonic Date Nights

I also love the idea that the three of them are so supportive of their little throuple that there is simply zero problems with jealousy or whatever. Shoutout to this post that pitches a telepathic alien trying to mess w/ their relationship only for it to fail spectacularly

Honestly it is a tad criminal that we don’t get to see more of Fourteen and Shaun interacting or tbh Shaun in general. I think the Doctor very quickly bonds with the entire Noble-Temple fam

He and Shaun scheme together bc they both know Donna is the most awesome woman in the universe <3 but she apparently DOESN’T so they set up little date nights and such to pamper her lol

Donna and Fourteen tease each other relentlessly they r constantly bickering <3

The three of them also have p much every aspect of parenting Rose covered. Donna and Shaun were already slaying but the Doctor pops in as a fun uncle that helps with her history homework, coaches her through weird metacrisis side effects, and occasionally chats about gender

Sidenote I just love the headcanon that Donna & Rose retain some of the powers from the metacrisis, even though they’ve given most of it up

There’s this one post that was made pre-specials that talks about the idea that Donna vague regeneration powers and I personally like the idea that she can just Do That but never really notices lmao

Also since this is my canon now. Fourteen has the weirdest gender experience of an iteration yet

Obviously the Doctor in general is hella genderfluid but Fourteen doesn’t identify as a guy 100%

They didn’t have time to question it during specials canon and just kinda rolled with the biggest thing that stood out to him, which is being a man again (for the most part) but later on he thinks and observes Rose more and he’s kinda just like. Hmmmm I think theres more to this

Anyway Fourteen uses the/he/they/she pronouns roughly in that order

[jeremiahthefroge]

Alright cool, ok awesome, really great, loving S1 E20 at about 4:59 when Garroth straight up says Zenix was like a son to him. Can Garroth catch a fucking break please dude this poor fucking guy??

I also am just Thrilled at the ideas I'm coming up with for how I'd novelize early MCD and how I'd characterize Garroth and Zenix. I feel like I'll have to be tweaking them around a bit, but from what I remembered about Garroth in later episodes, I've been wanting to keep an eye on Garroth's themes of being a paternal figure to others around him, and I'm absolutely thrilled to ALREADY see it be brought up. I wanna write a bunch of scenes that really illustrate the bond between Garroth and Zenix that we're sort of just TOLD is there through dialog (limitations of the medium, it's expected that you'll fill in the gaps yourself a bit), where we have Garroth coaching him through a difficult and troubled time, teaching the boy how to laugh and have some self confidence. I want Aphmau and Zenix to bond a bit too, and have Garroth on the sidelines thinking that maybe Aphmau will help Zenix FULLY heal and get back on his feet, that she can help Zenix take the next steps into being a good man after Garroth helped him initially, and then all of a sudden, this all goes down, and Garroth has that all ripped out from under him. I think it also could do a bit of legwork in showing us why Garroth becomes so attached to Aphmau, because she's the most consistently good, reliable thing in his life. The one thing that doesn't turn out to only be using him for his station, the one thing that doesn't turn around and literally SHOOT HIM IN THE BACK as repayment for his friendship and goodwill. The world has lied to and betrayed and confused Garroth about what is right time and time again, but not Aphmau.

I think Garroth might be a really tragic character guys goddamn somebody help this poor minecraft man.

Also him wanting to keep talking to Aph after he wakes up but it's hurting him, and she tells him to rest, and he's like "I wanna keep talking... but you're right as always. I'm just happy you're home" is just genuinely a cute detail and I like what it adds to Garroth. He's honestly pretty interestingly characterized-- he's not SUPPOSED to exactly be a truly perfect, always-right type. He's a fallible man trying his best to do the right things in his position as a guard, the best things for the people around him, and he's seen enough to know that sometimes you can't be truly honest and transparent with those around you. He was wrong about Zenix. He has no idea about most of the big plots happening around him. I also like that, even though I know he ends up as a love interest later on, it's sort of like... the usual trappings of a romance setup aren't present in early MCD. He's not immediately smitten, though he does obviously like her and care, he's got other priorities, and he doesn't immediately bond with her or even truly communicate with her on a truly personal level all that much, most of their interactions in the videos having to do with guard-to-lord business or the weird goings on in the area. It feels like he and Aphmau just have more pressing shit to be doing, because by the stakes of the plot, they totally DO have more pressing shit to worry about, and I feel like a lot of media with romance plots tends not to give us this pre-romance interaction. I think it lends a lot to the emotional impact of Garroth falling in love with her, honestly, that there's this stage where nothing romantic is really building. It more closely emulates the feeling of falling in love in real life, with a slower build.

I just think it's neat ok

[why-are-all-the-users-taken]

thoughts on toa

ok so everyone is doing this so imma do it too.

So when I first started reading toast I was like "lesters funny but he's kinda a drama king and thats annoying me a lil" but then,,, like- he started realizing "oH. I FUCKED UP A LIL AS A GOD" and once he started realizing that and acting on the idea that he needed to start being better, hE ACTUALLY BECAME SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER (not that he wasn't already but yk)

So like it kinda when like this

The hidden Oracle: Lester starts as a drama king and I didn't rlly like him too much at first. Like I would literally cringe every paragraph bc he was still in the "im a God and I'm better than u mortals" mindset which is probably why he annoyed me at first. But then he started realizing stuff like, "oh ya maybe that was my fault" example, Daphne and hyacinth. And then also realizing that everyone didn't love him, they just didn't disrespect him bc he could have smited them when he was a god

The dark prophecy: I liked this one a lot actually. Bc meg came back and it showed how much Lester loved her (as a sister) and also had Lester realize that he was kinda petty as a god and that he could have helped a lot more people. AND,,, THERE WAS A OLD LESBIAN COUPLE WHICH I LOVE (I can't remember their names T^T) NOT TO MENTION LEO CAME BACK!!! and the hunters of Artemis, I love them sm.

Burning maze: ...so- I already had spoilers for this one so everytime Callugulas (?) Or Jason's name came out I started tearing up thinking abt what was gonna happen. And Lester sacrificing himself was everything. Literally I was terrified but at the Sam time iT SHOWED SO MUCH GROWTH!!! But honestly I'm glad Jasper broke up bc it was so forced- AND GROVER!!! I LITERALLY SQUEALED WHEN GROVER SHOWED UP!!! and I love all of the dryads sm. And loved coach hedge as well. But honestly it was a rlly good read!! I mean in my opinion Rick is better at first person than 3rd tbh. And Piper slayed. I love her.

The tyrants tomb: ok, I'mma just be honest here, I cried the most during this book. Between Lester almost dying, all of the mentions of Jason, all of the minor characters that died, and everything else, my eyes literally stung by the time I finished reading- BUT DONS DEATH HAD ME BAWLING. I LITERALLY WAS CRYING MY EYES OUT. AND DAKOTA DIED TOO!! I LOVED HIS CHARACTER!!! oh and Artemis and Apollos reunion was SOOO sweet (yes I cried when that happened too). And frazel <33 AND OH MY GODS DON'T GET ME STARTED ON REYNA!!! I LOVED HER BEFORE TTT BUT SHE JUST GOT BETTER!!! I love her sm. And hazel as well!!! AND OH MY GODS (AGAIN) LAVINA!!! MY LIL PINK HAIRED LESBIAN! I LIVE FOR HER CHARACTER! and lavina x poison oak forever bc I love them. But Don 😭 I literally died inside when he died. And oh Hades, meg and her armed unicorns- that was everything- and Apollo seeing how his actions hurt other people like the silent god and the voice in the jar (I'm terrible at names sorry) was such a character arch as well.

Tower of Nero: I'm just gonna say it,the solangelo in this book gave me life. They were so CUTE. and the ....hat creatures (i can't spell their name) were hilarious ngl. AND RACHEL SAW THE BROOKLYN HOUSE AND ONE OF FELIX'S PENGUINS- I LITERALLY STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD DURING THAT SCENE- oh my gods and don't get me started on how much the python and Apollo scene scared me. I was like holy shit Apollos gonna die! Dues flash, he didn't but yk- and meg and Apollo were the best. AND LOU!!! OH MY GODS I LOVED HER!! and I feel bad for all of neros adopted kids :( but Apollo after he became a god again literally shocked me so much- like- he forgave his father!! That shocked me so so much but I was so proud of him 😭

Anyways overall, I loved this series so much. The characters were amazing,the plot was amazing, Apollos character arch was wonderfully written- and I just loved it.

[wafflesinthe504]

The Rookie 5x11 Thoughts

Spoilers for The Rookie 5x11 below. If you've watched the episode or don't care about spoilers, please enjoy!

The cold open with Nolan and Celina responding to an online/ metaverse robbery was pretty funny. I mean honestly what would they even really be able to do. Like the stuff that was stolen in the metaverse probably did cost real money for the woman, but since its all online how would they even try to recover it? Get a programmer to get the stuff back.

Also when Nolan put the VR headset on and was just falling had me cracking up.

Y'all, we are actually in Chenford secret dating era and I am loving it already. Tim is so head over heels for Lucy that he can't even make up a fake story for what he was doing last night other than hanging out with Lucy. The whole first scene with them in break room was just so cute. And Nolan being completely oblivious. Honestly, out of everyone in the Mid-Wilshire crew Nolan is probably the only one who genuinely has no clue about Time and Lucy. Also Tim and Lucy making plans for 'nothing' later on was great.

Everything that happened before the first commercial break just had me smiling so much.

Aaron basically volunteering Tim to coach the little league team when the third coach quits. Him trying to backtrack but the suggestion but its already too late Genny and Tyler both love the idea of Uncle Tim coaching the little league team. Seeing Tim just be so soft with the team and trying to make sure they're having fun was so cute. And then hearing Genny explain why just made my heart break a little for Tim.

Tim and Lucy co- coaching the little league was adorable. Lucy helping Tim give the kids some structure and being so competitive when it came to the actual game. It was funny to see them sort of switch places when it came to coaching because we've seen Tim yelling and jumping up and down while watching a football game but from what we know about Lucy she's not really into football. It seems like she has a bit of a deeper connection with baseball or maybe its because she has a deeper involvement with coaching that we got to see her being more open and competitive about it.

Alright, now to more of the actual plot points of the episode. We get our introduction to the case by now other than Angela's older (and probably best looking) brother Damien. I was so happy to see Damien again. Really any time we get to see more of the team's families I always get excited. I really didn't think we'd see Angela's brothers again after the one episode they were all in.

Damien's reported missing person leads to the discovery of multiple bodies behind a fake wall and the potential start of gang war breaking along with everyone debating whether or not true evil exists.

I really enjoyed hearing the everyone's perspective on the debate and you could tell how their individual experiences and beliefs have informed them of their answers to the question.

When it was revealed that Elijah Stone was the one behind the murders and the setup I wasn't surprised. I figured The Rookie would end up circling back around to Elijah eventually since he was released from jail and forced Wesley to apologize on live TV. Come on the writers couldn't just let the bad guy win. Our protagonists have to get the chance to put Elijah behind bars.

I'm personally pretty excited to see how this storyline with Elijah ends. My one hope is that they don't kill Elijah like they did with Rosalind and La Fiera. There is more than one way to beat the antagonist that doesn't involve killing them.

Lucy got her own case. I really enjoyed seeing her teach the Citizens Academy students. Yo, that one person who was stupid enough to go into a police station with an outstanding warrant was really bold. I was cracking up as she was arrested.

I liked seeing Lucy's empathy shine through as she tried to help the DA victim. She continually reached out to the victim and even tried to get the her to come to the stark reality of her situation. In my opinion I think that this DA storyline was handled better than Bailey's.

Seeing Lucy absolutely wreck that guy was awesome to see. I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing Lucy engaging in hand-to-hand combat.

Bonus: Bailey and Nolan being to kind to be able to be landlords is too funny. I can't believe that Bailey really let the elderly folks go 6 months without paying rent. And then to find out that the elderly couple were renting it out for *that* was crazy.

______________________________________________________________

Hope you enjoyed. If you want come chat with me in the comments about anything The Rookie related.

Until next time have a good day or night.

[sheepkebby]

What do you think Keith's dynamic would be with the other survivors if he were in the Savanna group?

I THINK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME-

Keith and Ellis are obviously best friends, and they can never shut the hell up when they're together. They're constantly talking, laughing, singing, just straight up having the best time ever. The others absolutely get double the amount of usual headaches, but at the very least they're glad to see Ellis is so happy to be talking to his buddy again. Plus, there's a lot more light in the group now that Keith and Ellis are bright balls of sunshine together. It's hard not to be optimistic about your chances when two of your teammates are constantly shouting WOOOOOO LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

(Also everyone can definitely tell that Ellis and Keith are crushing on each other, and it melts everyone's hearts to see two idiots tiptoe around their feelings for each other like the stupidest ballerinas ever) ((#Kellis for life))

Keith and Rochelle would be absolutely adorable together. Ro treats Ellis as if he were a little brother and Keith is no different. Though, she'd probably treat Keith more like a muddy stray dog she found out in the rain one night. Rochelle thinks Keith is stupid and funny and she loves how he gives Nick noogies. Keith immediately takes a liking to Rochelle and wants to impress her with his stupid stunts. He's about to do a backflip off a cliff and he's like "RO!!! HEY RO ARE YOU WATCHING?? RO! WATCH!!! WATCH ME THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!!"

Keith and Coach would be interesting, I think. I mean the obvious choice for a dynamic would be Coach going Dad Mode and being a sort of father figure to Keith, and honestly? I do like the idea, but I also feel like Keith and Coach would be BEST FRIENDS❗❗ Like, they both like rock music and sports and tasty food, they're both Big Boys™ with Big Hearts™ and I bet they'd have tons more in common. I can see them tossing a ball around in the yard before going inside to scarf down the biggest hamburgers anyone's ever seen. Then they stay up late laughing loud as fuck over jokes only southerners would get, and they accidentally keep the entire saferoom awake.

Keith and Nick would have the most fun dynamic in my opinion- Nick has already grown a tolerance for stupid countryfolk after spending so much time with Ellis, but he immediately recognizes that Keith is way more of a bastard than Ellis is. He audibly goes "ugghh" whenever Keith enters the room. The rest of the group has already made it very clear that they won't tolerate Nick's bitchiness if it's genuinely mean-spirited (lighthearted teasing is ok) so Nick isn't allowed to bully Keith as much as he'd like to. Keith, on the other hand, absolutely LOVES bullying Nick. He'll ruffle Nick's hair and wipe his dirty hands on Nick's sleeve just because it's funny. Despite their differences, Keith will openly admit he enjoys spending time with Nick because he's a total badass (and it's funny to tease him, Keith doesn't mean any harm by it anyways). Nick will try and convince everyone that he hates Keith with every fiber of his being, and everyone's like "sure Nick", because they know he was lying when he said he hated Ellis, and he's definitely lying again.

[ridingtedlassosjetskimustache]

My thoughts on 3x05 - Signs

@movrings Since I was unable to post my thoughts about the episode when it first came out, here’s my thoughts on it here!!

First off, concerned for Beard, he’s been increasingly wrong with small things recently and becoming more unsure of himself, part of me thinks this might have to do with Jane and his abusive relationship with her or it could be just a gag, but I’m hoping the former is actually addressed at some point

The whole “Shite in Nining Armor” thing being just a slip of the tongue seems a little too obvious, I’m still holding out hope it’s either about Jamie or Henry because i honestly don’t see the significance of that scene unless we’re talking about the mention of “soulmates” during it

Side-note: I absolutely despise John Wingsnight and this scene just made it worse, this guy sucks and deserves to be called a shite (he’s also incredibly creepy, Rebeca you dodged a very large bullet)

Anyway, “soulmate” mentioned!!

Also, I understand why Keeley can’t pick up the phone, but it is sad to see especially later in the episode

Jumping to the boys talking about Nate and Anastasia: i love how Isaac said that Nate’s “transformation is gonna be on the inside” like it has yet to happen. Obviously, he means it in a negative way, but for the audience, we know/hope that Nate’s transformation is going to be good and lead to a reconciliation! This is especially interesting to see coupled with Nate’s plot point within this episode

All i gotta say about Zava is fuck him, but i am sad we never got to see his wife and Smingus Dingus

I love the “injured monkey” bit the guys do to guilt Trent into telling them his idea and that Roy joined in

I love how i knew it was Henry that was actually the bully - definitely wanna know what he did to Doug

Roy’s monologue, the music, *chef’s kiss* (Love the way Ted handled that too lmao)

Higgins saying they should think about firing Ted and hearing Rebecca’s gasp before he even said it actually broke my heart

THE BISCUIT BOX

Watching Rebecca get her hopes up about what Trish said is killing me and i definitely cried so much this episode - love Higgins helping her out though

Straight up thought Nate was so fucking smooth with that phone call until it clicked lmao 💀

Ok The Scene™️:

I straight up screamed at this, i was freaking out

The same dress she was wearing when she bumped into Sam??

The way that they both use inverted greetings from what they normally do “Hey Boss/Hello Ted” to “Hey Coach/Hello Rebecca”

The way that they both stop at the exact moment and turn around to look at each other before meeting each other in the middle

The way that they already know what’s going on with the other without having to say anything

They way that their lives are so in sync and mirror the other’s and they don’t even realize it, but they’re both shocked by what the other said

Also, I know it’s the same place that Sam bumped into Rebecca last season, BUT it’s also the same exact place where Ted asked Rebecca how she was holding up after her divorce in the first episode of the first season and that shit just killed me

Proud of Keeley for firing Shandy

Watching Rebecca sit in that office killed me

Also the Emergency Contact 👀 i just know that’s gonna play into what’s happening in Amsterdam (perhaps after her falling into the canal)

Going back to Ted and Rebecca - Dr. Wagner asking her how she’s holding up??? Mirroring Ted’s words to her the first time they met??? I can’t remember where, but I’m pretty sure there’s an interview where Hannah mentions how important that scene is because Ted is the first person to really ask Rebecca how she’s doing during that and you can see the shock Hannah portrays on her face perfectly - anyways I’m emotional

So grateful Jan Maas is actually spotting Colin this time and not letting him choke like the other guys did lmao

Watching Ted go from water to wine after the mention of Jake was actually so painful, but also healing isn’t linear and just because we saw him do well last episode, doesn’t mean he’s healed now

Dan is my favorite and i love this anxious man

I’m sad we never got to see what’s in Barbara’s desk drawer

Love Roy’s hype up he does with the boys

I swear Henry was avoiding Ted because he didn’t wanna tell him he was bullying a kid lmao

I FUCKING LOVE JADE

Thinking about how upset Nathan got last season when someone got his name wrong, but he got called Nathan Jelly and he wasn’t timid this time or angry, he just let it slide off - you know what that is, that’s growth

I’ll say it again - Fuck Zava

Loving the bi representation with Keeley!! I know it was mentioned in season one, but it’s great to see on screen

Nate came to A Taste of Athens after he got promoted at Richmond 😭

Anyways watching Rebecca get that call in her office and Hannah’s face journey made me actually start sobbing oh my god like get this woman therapy and let me hold her

I just know that Jade would stand up to Nate’s dad for him

Watching Roy look at Jamie approvingly actually killed me and I’m so proud he got recognized in at least a small way

Watching Ted take himself out of a panic attack!!! I was so proud of him!! He was so proud of himself!!

“Your girlfriend runs off with some dude and it turns out they were soulmates” 👀 looking at you Sam

THE SPEECH!!! WE ARE GETTING OUT OF THE DARK FOREST

[belokhvostikova]

Right. Well. I hope you're ready for this because I have a lot to talk about for yearbook 🤣

Firstly, I loved the structure of this chapter. A day in the life of Eddie, centered around his session. How Ms Kelly has had to draw him out over a few days. Because yea, he's made it there in the first place, but it doesn't automatically mean he's gonna be a model of open conversation and spilling his guts straight away. Felt very real that, like 'well I've shown up, what more do you want from me?'

Him just having a minute and sitting observing everyone from his van. Like his little moment of calm. It actually was like a scene from a movie, it reminded me of the first episode of season 4, as Robin is getting out of Steve's car and we're dipping in and out of everyone's conversations and goings on. Loved this.

Then his view of R coming into school, how he held back but still gave her that sign of solidarity with the thumbs up. He's so precious, I can't cope. And she needed that so much, her thinking about it later on to get her through the shitty parts of her day was perfect.

R's dad telling her that she basically deserves anything awful that happens to her, just for being a good person. Urgh that guy has some serious issues. Of all the people that need some therapy...

Then Chrissy! She made so many smart choices in this chapter. You've characterised her really well in this. Like she's presented as this really sweet and kind person in the show, but would she have stayed true to that when it mattered in a difficult situation with an audience? I love that you have her do that. Their lunch scene with Dustin was hilarious. Eddie's 'WHAT?!' After the marriage talk 🤣 pal, you would have her in a hot minute.

Really enjoyed the coaches comedy relief after the Jason/Eddie confrontation, and that R and Eddie had more conversation. Especially when it's flirting, could read them like this all day 😍

Honourable mention to Wayne again, for basically being a solid parent and showing Eddie what 'stable' looks like. I hope R meets him at some point and thinks 'oh shit, this is what a dad's supposed to look like'

Strange note for me to end on but I love how you full name everyone when they're not in direct conversation with each other, I've noticed it the past few chapters and it feels very 'Morgan Freeman doing a narrator voice over' and I'm here for it. Can't wait to see what happens next! 🖤🖤

Yes! I've been waiting for you. *in ominous voice*

Let me tell you, when I first began writing this chapter, I just completely free-balled it, I had no clue what was going to happen. I began writing the first couple of paragraphs, when it hit me. This story should totally revolve around Eddie's session AH- I felt like a fucking genius!

I honestly loved that added detail of him just observing. When I write I feel the need to just insert the most meaningless details, but I think it does a good job with just setting the mood around the story. If anyone is every struggling with writing, truthfully, adding specific details can really help!

And the little thumbs up 😭 everyone needs a little thumbs up from Eddie Munson! Especially after that sick interaction with her father, ugh 🤮

Our Chrissy Cunningham redemption arc has been completed! 🩷 I loved how sweet her character was in the show, and I definitely wanted to stick by that, but of course, I wanted to emulate a changing relationship between her and Jason, one where the other person is just someone who's not who they used to be. And given that it's implied that her mother is taking quite some control over her life, I really wanted to be able give her the opportunity to do what she wanted.

And we loved their little "girl talk" with a clueless Dustin.

And I love the idea of Reader meeting Wayne. Especially since we already got extremely intimate moments in her bedroom, I can definitely add some raw moments in his house.

And I think I've said this before, but I FUCKING RAGE OVER USING CHARACTER'S FULL NAME!!!!! Makes me feel like an actual fucking author with merit, lol. And I'm falling onto my knees knowing you get that feeling, too, and you noticed it in the first place! 😩

Thank you so much for your support! 🥹❤️

[yannig]

I started writing tags and then it got long so you get an actual answer.

I don't think he was that wrong? i mean, beyond the fact that it's fiction so 1) we need him to make that decision for the plot, and 2) we know he ended up being right.

CPS is notably and reputably bad in the US. like, human trafficking rings kind of bad. at least Wymack doesn't "loose" the children under his care. at least no one came out to say he was starving or hurting them. at least he seems to genuinely care about his kids, which is absolutely not a guaranty if you give a child to CPS with no idea what sort of family will get them.

And I think that choice is especially understandable considering how old Neil is. I think he's pretending to be 18 at the beginning of the trilogy (?), but in any case, it's his last year of high school, meaning even if Hernandez calls CPS, Neil will age out of the system in no time. and then he'll have nothing (except maybe more trauma).

If Wymack gets him though? Neil gets a 4-years scholarship out of it. And a sport one at that, that comes with a dorm and a coaching team and people keeping an eye on him and his health. Even at Palmetto, that's already miles better than what CPS can promise him at his age.

At the end of those 4 years is a degree which might get him a job. And if Neil can milk it out fully (and Hernandez has every reason to believe he has the will to do so), he might even get a sport carrier out of it.

Those are better odds than almost anything CPS can offer.

From Hernandez's POV, Neil is a kid whose family is neglectful at best, abusive at worst. A child who'd rather not be home most nights but loves Exy more than is healthy. A child who is not going to legally stay a kid much longer.

I think calling Wymack was a very understandable choice. Honestly, I might have made the same one.

imagine if instead of contacting wymack, hernandez did what any normal person would do when a kid keeps breaking into the school locker rooms to sleep and called child protection services or the police. crazy that dude thought yes the best thing this kid needs considering he sleeps at school most days is the coach of the most fucked up exy team in class I.

[amzelindistress]

Every time I think wow, I haven't felt this low in a really long time! I end up sinking even lower into my depression. It's getting really, really bad again. Excruciatingly bad. (I haven't reverted to self-harm, tho. Yet.)

I feel so... worthless. hopeless. empty. void. numb.

I'm tired of having to explain why I'm no longer making XX amount, or why I'm not working, or what I'm doing during the days. I know she doesn't mean anything by it, but my mom keeps bringing it up and it just makes me feel bad. I was just mentioning today how I am only aiming to make X amount a week right now because CS has been exhausting me and she mentioned how I used to make XX amount. And once again I had to explain (for the umpteenth time) how AI has basically stolen my job/livelihood. (And I know she has ADHD and trouble paying attention/retaining the information I give her and I know she doesn't mean to make me feel bad. But it does. I was doing so well financially and now I'm not. It feels like there's a hole in my stomach and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger. (whoever said money doesn't buy happiness was a damn liar.))

I have a lot that I need to do and figure out but it's hard. And honestly, I have... I wouldn't say high support needs, as an autistic person, but they definitely aren't low, either. Medium? I don't know. But I'm not getting the support I need. (ps: I wish I could afford an official diagnosis. I wish I hadn't been failed as a child and had been formerly diagnosed.) I had high hopes when I signed up for the life coach but that was a mistake. It sucks because I don't really have anyone to give me the support/help that I really need. I love my mom but she's not equipped to help me with what I need. I mean, she has ADHD herself and barely passed high school. And I still have to help her with things, too. I just wish I had someone to help me out more. My mom tries. My best friend tries. But it's just not enough.

Finances are so tight right now. Between both me and my mom.

And there's just. So. Fucking. Much. To do. And I don't know how to do half the shit I want to do. And learning is so fucking hard. I need help. Who do I ask for help???

My dad's taking me to Akron on Friday and I'm really dreading the drive because we have to go on an interstate and being in a vehicle with him is really overwhelming. He always stresses me out and gets pissy on the road. Not looking forward to it. Probably won't even be worth the trip tbh. Meeting with my RA but what is she going to do for me? Tell me to lose weight to help my symptoms? Yeah, I already know that. Thanks!

Another thing that's been on my mind lately (although, tbh, I have 2987398472934 things on my mind lately) is my social skills. Or lack thereof. It's so hard for me to connect to anyone or to make friends. Even the group of "friends" I have right now all prefer the company of my best friend. And who wouldn't? She's fun and talkative. And I'm just me. Boring and quiet.

I'm trying to keep my mind busy, too. I'm trying to pick up a new hobby. But it sucks because I have a hard time following along with tutorials. I haven't even been able to get past my fucking Woobles kits because I keep fucking it up somehow and I've no idea how.

I. Literally can't do anything. Wow, wow, wow.

I can't finish my GED. I can't get myself to get my driver's license. I can't get a new job. I can't even pick up a hobby because I'm fucking stupid. I actually hate myself. I really, fucking do.

Right now I'm sucking back tears. You know when you suck them back so hard that your entire face hurts? That's me right now.

Yeah...

[escape-rock-bottom]

Journal 30 (1/2) - My Biggest, Meanest Negative Thought

I think we all have our own unique negative thoughts that just continuously circulate in our heads. These vary drastically between individuals, some are related to your perception of the outside world, your appearance, your relationships, you name it. There’s usually one that seems to dominate and bleed into all aspects of our lives too. I call these “chronic recurring negative thoughts”. 

These are the ones that are so habitual they become a part of your personality without you even knowing it and control your choices. They’re rarely in the forefront of your mind, but they are omnipresent in your day to day life. They gnaw at you but you barely pay them any mind. They are the slow, barely seen killers of our self esteem and confidence.

During this whole self-development thing, one of the constant journaling exercises I hear gurus and coaches recommend time and time again is to identify and unravel your negative thoughts. I thought I got every single one of them out on display and ready for extermination but I didn’t realize this one, the one that hides so well but comes up much more often than the others.

The thought revolves around the fact that “I am not enough.” I am not man enough. I am not enough for the people I love. I am not disciplined enough. I am not determined and driven enough. I am not talented enough. I am not fit enough. I am not attractive enough…

And so on. These thoughts pervade nearly every aspect of my life but they’re so constant that my brain just filters them out. I didn’t even realize I was having these so much until I started this journey and began reeeeally digging in and improving my mindfulness. 

It all came to the forefront when a specific incident caused an influx of these thoughts. I’m not going to fault myself for having them, but they kinda crushed me and caused me to spiral into these “not enough” thoughts. Then it hit me, a lot of my insecurities and goals are directly connected to this “lack of being enough”. I need to knock that off big time.

My situation is weirdly complicated. I have a literal split in my sense of identity (yay, weird neurology!) that causes me to basically have two varying views of myself. I think I’m a cool and interesting guy. I think I’m talented. I think I have what it takes to get where I want to be. Then, there’s a part of me that’s stewed in this idea that I need to be more than I already am.

It's counterintuitive as hell honestly. I think its a matter of I managed to be truly confident and love myself, but haven't fully disrupted the thoughts. I don't always listen to them nowadays, but I guess they became habitual.

I can’t tell if it’s a result of me wanting external validation, or if I feel I have to meet certain expectations of human-ness that I have not yet achieved, or if it’s a cause of some trauma stuff I long since forgot but held onto. Whatever caused it, they’re there, and they contribute to a slew of problems I have in areas of my life. 

Now that I am aware of them, I can work on them. I need to remind myself that improving myself isn’t about becoming more for other people or to prove myself to others, but rather to prove myself to myself and grow into a person I’d like to be. 

In reality to society, we will never be enough, but also be more than enough, but also be just right to the people around us. It’s funny how I can be both too energetic but also kinda silent and boring depending on who you ask. It’s contradictory to be very attractive and charismatic to my girlfriend but ugly af to another woman. 

If we uphold our sense of self worth to others’ perceptions, we will constantly rely on other people’s validation. We will also put far too much legitimacy into people’s criticisms, jokes, and negative perceptions of you. If we uphold ourselves to societal norms (which only a small handful of us can fit into to a tee) we feel inadequate and worthless if we don’t fit in. 

To be confident in yourself, you need to validate, love, and respect yourself. You need to hold the power to uplift yourself and hold your beliefs of your worth over others’ expectations and criticisms. Improve for you, not for what people expect from you. You need to believe that you are enough for yourself because you have nothing to prove to the world around you.

[livingwithlosingyou]

Living with Losing You - 12/17/2022

Okay, today was aggressively busy, but it was also GREAT! 

I got asked if I wanted to help feed the homeless at church, and of course I had to say yes. So, I started off my morning doing good for others, which in turn made me feel good! It was incredible though because I ended up seeing the girl that I met the first time I ever went to Grace, and my GriefShare leader was helping run the event. I got to meet her daughter, and some other wonderful people. One that stood out to me was Char. She is my spirit animal. I really hope that I get to see her again. She was the sweet but edgy older later. Before we started serving the pastor told us to say our “happy and crappy” for 2022. So, naturally I mentioned losing you and then coaching as my highlight. Her and I ended up working together in both areas, so we got to talk about it. She said something that really stuck with me. She said you left me with a huge heart. It’s such a gift. I feel like I already had a heart for this, and for helping others, but I do more now than ever. I want to not just make a difference, I want to BE the difference. 

I did end up leaving a little early to go to my little brother’s soccer game. I have decided that I am going to start to be a little more blunt in these blogs. It’s the point of them, right? Either way, I went to his game though he didn’t play cause he missed a few practices from being sick. Kind of wish I had that tidbit of information. Either way, all good. It was still fun to watch and support his team. I made a comment that I was going to hang out with another girl who broke off her engagement because her fiancé struggled with depression, etc. A comment was made about how she had so much strength and made the right decision. It felt very backhanded and directed at the fact that I stayed with you, but I have no regrets. Also, people don’t really have an ounce of an idea of what we endured, so let them have their thoughts. 

I feel like at times, people without all the context just harp on the weirdest shit sometimes. Like fighting me on the fact that my buddy and I went to a holiday party and it was not a date. I would have just said if it was or it wasn’t. Drives me nuts if I am being honest. That’s a whole other can of worms and honestly could probably use some more therapy with how I have been feeling. I have plans to call and get that scheduled on Monday. I know that the people in my life (again, some not all) do not mean things in malicious ways, but sometimes they don’t understand the weight that their words carry. 

After the game I went to go to PS to pick up brunch, quickly took Sadie to the park, and then got ready to go to the zoo with my friend and her daughter. I have a pass and I had two of the half off coupons, so I thought it could be fun. And it was!!! 

This was also the first time I had been back at the zoo since you and I went back in June, before you died. It was one of the last things we did together in SD. It was a good idea to give it time, but it was still a little sad to be there and recall all the places we stopped for silly selfies, etc. I realized that one of the buildings was name “Jake’s Cool Critters”, and I think that was new since you and I had been there. Or maybe I just noticed it this time around, all things considered. Either way, we had a blast. Best first trip back to the zoo. I will likely renew my membership too. You’d want me to still love it. I promise that I’ll see your mountain lions every time I go back now. I ended up getting myself s snake souvenir. He is currently sitting on your chair. Seemed fitting. We also walked Balboa parka little bit, and passed the place where we took pictures in our matching hats. I’ll add those on here. 

Well, since Logan won his game this morning, he had a second game. My dad had his holiday party, so I ended up being the one to have to take him. I was supposed to see Natalia for aps and drinks, but honestly, it was fine and I was wiped. So, I quickly came home from the zoo, dropped off my stuff, took Sadie out, and then went to pick him up and took him to his game. I had an hour before he played, so I went and grabbed myself dinner. I didn’t eat anything except a snack at the zoo, so I was starving. Chick Fil A was the obvious choice. It was close to the field an quick. My parents back me back to the game, and luckily this time Logan got to play! Unfortunately they lost, but it was a very intense / good game. 

After the game I met up with Bri and we walked Sadie. Then I got home, called a friend while I cleaned, and now it’s bed time. I am WIPED. Luckily tomorrow isn’t as busy, but I still have a lot of things that I should do and that I should catch up on. 

My brain is struggling recently. Just trying to continue to push through it. Adding a picture of a quote that I found that was quite fitting.

Made it another day. Miss you!

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols.

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022