#but honestly i feel like nobu WOULD say something like this

[connectjump]

this nobu sprite is my favorite because all I can hear `aw man were going to super hell guys. not ballin.` in nobu's voice.

[yonezawacastle]

no you’re SO real for that. this event has been horrible so far and i hate how every character is acting so OOC and completely horrid (minus nobu. i quite liked him)

i mean masa could’ve worded that better, but i did feel for him the most bc like if those “candies” did contain smth and mc being the idiot that she is didn’t tell him, then he’d be one taken advantage of. and from other events it’s pretty much clear that MC can and will put her foot down and not do something she doesn’t want to. i still feel like she potentially harmed him more. especially bc they never addresses the “sachet” thing either.

and kiyomasa was so creepy and manipulative too :/ clearly taking advantage of MC’s cluelessness and his power over her and the date

and don’t get me STARTED on the mess in nobunaga’s event. honestly surprised he came out as the most reasonable out of all the characters. though i still feel annoyed the writers didn’t have him react to MC being SAed by a woman the same way he’d reacted to her being attacked by a man.

istg this event kinda felt like it was written by AI. i did not like it one bit and didn’t bother playing. masamune especially didn’t deserve that sort of treatment :/ he’s always the sweetest character ever.

they truly dropped the ball with this one.

A fellow hater! <3

Ugh, I feel you on the candy/sachet thing. That whole storyline made my skin crawl. It's a dehumanizing way to view your partner, and a really weird choice besides, given that it's the depth and sincerity of his feelings that she's worried about to begin with. Masa and MC are usually one of the sweeter couples in the game, so it was genuinely off-putting watching them each blatantly trying to coerce each other in this one.

Kiyomasa was definitely creepy. Both he and Masamune were concerned with getting what they wanted and clearly not giving a damn about the burden they were placing on MC in doing so. I generally like Kiyomasa quite a bit so I was sorry to find myself disliking him so much here.

Honestly, though: the blatant abuse of both men's social power over the MC made for a nasty read, and did actually feel more than a bit OOC for them. I've been playing this game for a little over two years and I honestly think this is the only event story to have ever left such a bad taste in my mouth.

I say that as someone who usually enjoys the stories that look at the characters' flaws and shitty habits.

Idk, this story just felt like three people just being unusually horrible to each other, which would bother me less if the narrative didn't seem dead set on presenting this as romantic and desirable. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. This one just felt weird and rancid to me.

I was totally planning on doing Nobunaga's route next. :/ I'm not even generally a huge fan of his character but I'm just glad someone here is coming out less than 100% awful and brain-dead. I think I'm still gonna do it over the next day or two, out of morbid curiosity if nothing else, after which I would like to forget this event ever happened.

[neonswords]

Hey, Nana… I never thought I would be telling you this, and it's going to sound silly, but,  Hachi fumbles with her pen, not sure how to continue. Shouldn't she love Nobu? How can she feel this way?But… What she feels whenever she looks at Nana, this girl with the same name as her, she met that day like a perfect coincidence… It's more than she's ever felt laying beside or beneath any man, having his way with her again while she deludes herself dreaming of love.  "I need to tell her… writing a letter isn't going to be enough." she thinks to herself, crushing the page in her trembling hand.  Hachis mind is filled with doubts though, eating away at her fast since the day she realized she was in love with Nana. What if she really isn't over Ren yet? What if she isn't into girls? What if she thinks that Hachi is being silly, having another short lived crush? What if Nana doesn't think Hachi is good enough for her? "I mean, she's kind of a rock star," Hachi thinks, blushing and smiling to herself. "Whatever… No matter what, I need to tell her. I can't keep living like this, late nights and having breakfast with her and wishing our baths together were as intimate as hers and Ren's. So close to me, but…"    Her thoughts are interrupted by Nana coming into the room. It's morning, and pretty early at that- they usually like sleeping in, but Hachi's been up all night and didn't even notice the sunrise.  "Hachi? You writing somethin?"  Stuttering, she tries to hide the pen and paper, but winds up just getting ink all over hands. Great. They stare at eachother for a second, but then Nana explodes into laughter at the state Hachi is in.  "Pftt- I'll help you get cleaned up" says Nana, grabbing a cloth and running it under the tap.  "Here- give me your hands" Hachi, still trembling,  shoves the paper in her pocket and complies.  Watching Nana gently wipe the ink from her hands, the love and care she puts into handling Hachi, like she could break at any minute… it's so bittersweet. "Is this the moment I've been waiting for?" Fuck it…   "Hey, Nana…" she pauses, almost wanting to go back on it, but Hachi knows she's been acting weird this morning. There's an elephant in the room.  "Yeah? What's up?"  Reading into Hachi's silence, Nana's brow furrows. "Is something wrong?""Not exactly… Nana, I need to tell you something, and promise you won't laugh, okay?"The silence is killing her. Hachi almost takes it back, but then sees Nana has taken Hachis pinkie finger and entwined it with hers.  "I pinkie promise, I'm not gonna laugh at you Hachi." She beams at her, hoping to ease some of Hachi's anxiety, and it gives her the push of adrenaline to confess. "Nana… the other night, you told me something. And we were really drunk, so I don't know if you remember, but… You told me about Ren. You told me how you used to feel like you were soulmates, or twin flames, or something. You cried. And finally, you told me that you don't feel that way about him anymore. But here's the thing, Nana… even though we're both girls, I… I feel that way about you. Everything you described. I'm in love with you Nana, and I've never felt love like this before. It's okay if you don't feel the same, I just," Hachi can't hold her composure much longer, she starts crying, but Nana takes her into her arms. "Hachi… I had no idea, honestly, but," She says, holding her in a tight hug and rubbing her shoulders gently. The next words are murmured, just loud enough for the two of them to hear. "I'm in love with you too, Hachi."    Nana holds her as her tears turn to tears of joy- she doesn't know what they're going to do, how she's going to break the news to Nobu, how they're going to make it in the world. But with this love they share, Nana and Nana side by side, they feel they will be able to take anything on together.  This moment, this love, could last for the rest of their lives. 

[daeva-agas]

There's all sorts of flailing happening while Akechi and MC were in Nagahama in this event, and there's one big glaring question that I have: Is Hideyoshi, like, out of town or something????? Can't they ask him for help? Especially because this is something Nobu needed???

Like, did I accidentally skip a line somewhere? It's not like they're in Mikawa or something and was like "Ah heck it would be awkward to ask for Ieyasu to help, we're not his friends".

THE LORD OF NAGAHAMA IS HIDEYOSHI. HE WOULD 100% HELP OUT HAPPILY. EVEN IF IN THIS TIMELINE MC NEVER MET HIDEYOSHI BEFORE HE SPLIT OFF TO NAGAHAMA, WHAT ABOUT AKECHI???? HELLO????

When MC and Akechi was in town they're just like "wow nice place" or whatever, and I don't think I saw Hideyoshi mentioned even once. They're acting like this is a foreign random place and they don't know the local lord and it just feels really weird. I know the focus needed to be on MC, Akechi, and Kyo, but come on!!! In that case you lot should've had Kyo take them elsewhere for shopping. Sakai, maybe. Or Ise province or whatever, if Sakai is too far away.

And if it's because in this timeline Hideyoshi is not the local lord yet, then the place should be Imahama. Hideyoshi named the place Nagahama, and if he's not there yet, then the place is not Nagahama.

I'm also honestly a bit confused why they're acting like they're just Some Guy who is out shopping in town. I feel like they legit could've pulled rank and said "Hey, I am representing Lord Nobunaga and we need something from you, please sell you wares", and the trader should not have any reason to refuse.

If they really need all this negotiation drama, just have the trader say "I won't even sell to God if I don't like him, get lost".

[adoringhaikyuu]

they misinterpret your words during a fight and think you want to break up

characters: aone + kyoutani + oikawa + ushijima + (gn!reader)

request: hii can I request saying 'why am i even trying' in a fight n they take it wrong way, they thought u had enough of them but u just mean it like ' why r u even trying to argue' - kyotani, aone, ushi and oikawa... thank you ✨ • by @chibiiichann​

warnings: a lil angsty

notes: i was not sure how to title this well skfjhg + let’s just say everyone lives together in these

aone:

it wasn’t that he was trying to aggravate you

it’s just that he genuinely didn’t understand why you were upset and he was being dismissive without even realizing it

and that is what pushed you over

you were tired, you wanted to go to bed 

and you clearly weren’t getting anywhere, so you were ready to just drop it and go to sleep, hence why you said

“why am i even trying”

aone blinked a few times as he stared down at you, those five words sending a spike to his gut. you tried to move past him, not noticing the panic in his eyes, when he shot his arm out to stop you.

you looked up at him about to complain when you noticed the intense and glassy look in his eyes. he spoke up, his voice small. “please don’t.”

you sighed, “i just don’t see the point, nobu. i’m going––”

“no.” his voice was slightly louder and shaky. “please.” he stood in front of you and placed his hands on your arms as he looked into your eyes. “please don’t leave me.” 

you tilted your head, “leave y––” you shook your head, “baby, no i’m not–” you walked into his arms and he hugged you immediately, his arms holding you tight. “i’m not leaving you,” you looked up at him to find him already staring at you, holding his tears back. you placed a hand on his cheek and he nuzzled into your palm. “i was just going to bed because this argument wasn’t going anywhere. that’s why i said i don’t see the point.” 

he swallowed harshly and nodded. “oh.” 

you smiled sadly, “well now i can’t be mad at you anymore...” 

his hands squeezed your waist, “for what it’s worth...i’m sorry, y/n.” 

you leaned up for a kiss and he met you halfway. “let’s go to bed, okay?” 

he nodded but made no move to let go of you––so the two of you stood there for a while, just holding each other in silence.  

kyoutani:

you and kyoutani didn’t fight often...to be honest you rarely ever fought

but today...

both of you were really stressed out

you started arguing over something stupid, to be honest you couldn’t even remember what it was

it was just a way for you both to get out your frustrations in the end

but your voices started getting louder and you were getting in each other’s faces

and it became too much for you, it was just stressing you out even more

you needed fresh air

you rolled your eyes and stepped back, trying to shove past him. “you know what? why am i even trying here–”

before you could get far, kyoutani grabbed your arm, not forcefully, but enough to make you stop. you looked up and glared at him, surprised to see another emotion swirling in his eyes––sadness?

“you’re fucking joking right?” he never was good at talking through his emotions. 

you scowled, his tone not helping either of your moods at all. “let me go.”

he scowled right back. “no.” 

“kentaro.”

he raised a brow and stepped closer to you, “oh so we’re on a first name basis now? what, y/n?”

you clenched your jaw and looked him in the eye, taking a deep breath. “please just let me go.” your voice was small, defeated, you just needed space. 

his hand loosened but he didn’t let go completely, seemingly battling with himself in his mind. “no...i can’t. i won’t let you leave me.” 

so that’s why he was upset? 

you frowned up at him. “taro. i’m just going for some fresh air. i’m not leaving you.” 

he let go of you and stood straight, his lips parted. “oh.” he clenched his jaw and looked down, suddenly embarrassed by his reaction. you grabbed his hand and started walking towards the door. “what are you doing?”

you looked back at him, eyes no longer blazing, but instead, warm and loving. “we are going to get some fresh air. together.” 

he looked down, suddenly shy, but kept walking with you. “okay.”

oikawa:

oikawa had a bad day and he was more irritable than usual

tbh he was being kinda rude unintentionally

you were eating dinner across from each other and you were trying to talk about how your days were, not having spoken to each other much due to your busy schedules

but he wasn’t in the mood for talking and was just answering you with hums and giving you one word responses

after a while you got annoyed and honestly felt a little hurt

so you sighed and rolled your eyes, getting up from the table to go refill your water, mumbling to yourself more than anything

“why am i even trying”

it wasn’t until you said that that oikawa looked up from his plate, eyes wide, heart beating loudly in his chest. “wait what––”

you were already in the kitchen by the time he looked up and he urgently got out of his seat, almost knocking down his glass and you turned around at the clatter, surprised to see him basically speed-walking towards you. 

“oh now you pay attention to me?” you went to sip your water when he pulled it out of your hands and set it on the counter, ignoring your “hey!-” in protest. 

his eyes were frantic as he looked at you, “look baby i’m sorry i just i had a really shitty day today but––”

you sighed and looked to the side. “and i get that tooru, but that doesn’t give you the right to be a dick, i mean it feels like we haven’t had time to ourselves this week at all...”

he pouted and took your face into his hands, “i know baby and i’m sorry, i haven’t been trying as much as i could have been. but i promise i’ll do better, okay? i know i don’t deserve it but please tell me you’ll keep trying too?” his eyes were suddenly filled with tears and you looked at him in shock.

“hey–what’s wrong?” 

he pressed his forehead against yours and let out a shaky breath. “i just don’t want you to leave me––please don’t. i don’t know what i’d do without you––”

you pulled away as much as he’d let you to look into his eyes. “woah baby what––i’m not leaving you? sure i was frustrated, but i wasn’t going to break up with you.” 

his eyes widened, “really?”

you nodded. “really, tooru i promise.” just from the vulnerable look in his eyes you felt like you could cry as well. you kissed his cheek, “i’m not going anywhere.” 

he sighed, relieved and pulled you into a hug, mumbling his next words into your shoulder. “i love you.”

ushijima:

ushi could be really blunt and straightforward 

and sometimes had a tendency to brush things off, not understanding the big deal

today you were trying to get him understand something that happened at work, someone pissed you off and it really put you in a bad mood for the whole day

and ushi was always there to talk through things with you at night when you got home

but today, he really couldn’t see why you were upset––or rather, why you let it affect you so much, he didn’t see the point

and it felt like he wasn’t listening to you

(granted, you were a little strung up already)

you didn’t want to deal with people anymore so you brushed past him and went to take a shower, grumbling “why am i even trying”

as soon as you uttered those words, ushijima paused, unsure what to even think. you didn’t mean the relationship did you? surely, he thought about how you’d had a bad day, how you were frustrated and maybe you were just saying that in regards to your frustrations...but part of him wasn’t sure. you seemed rather annoyed during the conversation much to his disliking.

unfortunately, he wasn’t able to ask you about it because as soon as he turned around, you were already locked in the bathroom. he sat anxiously at the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped as he waited for you. you were taking your sweet time, no doubt relaxing and decompressing, which he understood, but it was only furthering his worry about the situation. 

it was a good while later that you’d finally gotten out of the shower, steam exiting the bathroom as you opened the door. you hadn’t even noticed ushijima sitting across from you as you got out, still focused on your thoughts, trying to calm down. 

you put your night shirt on along with some sweats, which was immediately a bad sign to him, you almost always slept in one of his shirts, and he loved that about you. 

only when you got on the bed did he speak up, clearly tense as he got your attention. “love...”

you turned and he swallowed thickly, suddenly nervous. “when you said...” he paused, looking down at his hands before looking into your eyes, clenching his jaw almost in pain. “are you giving up on us?” 

you frowned immediately, “what?”

“you...you said ‘why am i even trying’ and stormed off...did i do something? are you not happy?” 

your mouth dropped open in shock, the frustration coursing through your body now replaced with disbelief and sadness. you moved closer to him and put one hand on his cheek, the other other on his shoulder as you looked into his eyes. “what? baby no, i was just annoyed and our conversation wasn’t really helping but it wasn’t your fault! i just needed some time to think to myself, i’m sorry. this whole time you thought i wanted to end things?” 

he nodded once and your frown deepened. “baby i would never,” you paused and pulled him close for a sweet kiss. 

his hands came up to hold your waist and you melted into him, the kiss clearly soothing his worries. the look of relief and love in his eyes was clear as day when you pulled away to catch his eye. 

“i promise i am happiest with you. i’m not going anywhere, unless you were planning on leaving any time s––”

his hands gripped your waist tighter, a fierce look appearing in his eyes. “no. you’re it for me.” 

you smiled, feeling something burst in your chest and gave him another kiss. “i love you.” 

his hands made their way under your shirt and you hummed, pulling away to stop him. “baby i’m kinda tired today.”

he shook his head, a light blush on his cheeks . “i know. i just prefer when you wear my shirts.” 

you smiled and moved your hands away, “oh, okay. then go ahead.”

he smiled back, “thank you.”  

[rengokuswif3]

My friends had talked with each other and bought tickets for each other to one anime convention that is now sold out and then asked in group chat that did everyone get the tickets, but no one had bought a ticket for me or reminded me at all like they had did with literally everyone else in our friendgroup and i feel left out and sad….

So….

May i request how the hashira would react to their girlfriend being sad because their friends ignoring/ neglecting her 🥲

I’d feel grateful, but you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.

A/N: I felt this one on a personal level, that kind of stuff has happened to me before with an old friend group, I am so sorry it’s happening to you, it’s a sucky feeling being left out but I hope this helps at all! ❤️ I didn’t do all of them cause it was getting a little repetitive, so I hope I at least did your favorites!

Would immediately tell you to get new friends and that they suck, like he genuinely thinks they’re not good friends and you should ditch them like they ditched you

But then he sees how upset you are and decided to bother you about that later, for now he’ll spend the whole day with you doing whatever you want to try and make you feel better

“You don’t have to do this, Nemi-“

“I’m your boyfriend, I can’t take you out on a date?”

Makes excuses and pretends he doesn’t care as much as he does but you know him by now that he does care deeply about you, and doesn’t want you to feel lonely

When he sees that you’re feeling down and upset, he’s very concerned as to why. He tries to make you as happy as he can, did he do something wrong?

But when you tell him you just feel really lonely and left out by your friends, he encourages you to talk to them about it, and if they listen and change their ways that they’re real friends

But to lift your spirits as of now, he’ll take you out on a lunch date to your favorite restaurant

“NOTHING CURES AN ACHING HEART BETTER THAN GOOD FOOD!”

You gotta admit though, hearing him shout ‘TASTY’ does give you serotonin and you end up feeling a bit better after the date

“Would you like me to teach them a lesson?” She says in her oh so cheery voice

“Nobu, don’t you dare-“

“I’m only trying to help!”

Seriously though, she’s really angry at your friends for making you feel like this, and she wants to fix it as soon as possible. Would probably hunt them down and sweetly threaten them in her own way

And to comfort you she tries to distract you from the issue, asking you to help her in the Butterfly Mansion and help the butterfly girls with their chores, which does cheer you up since you love the girls and spending time with Shinobu, even if it’s just organizing medical supplies

He honestly doesn’t notice that you’re down at first, he has a hard time with social cues and stuff like that, so you’d probably have to bring it up first

“Sorry Mui, but I don’t really feel like training right now.”

“Why not?”

“It’s…my friends.”

Once you tell him what happened, he insists that training will 1. Help you channel your emotions and get them out and 2. Will help clear your mind and take it off the unfortunate event

He really does try to cheer you up, he just doesn’t know how yet

“Well, that’s not very flamboyant of them! Don’t worry, they’ll realize it’s their loss.”

Has his wives distract you while he restrains himself from going and talking to them. He doesn’t want to intervene, and make you think they’re only hanging out with you because your scary boyfriend demanded it, but definitely encourages you to stand up for yourself

But in the meantime, he’s telling Makio about it while you’re baking with Suma and Hina, and when you laugh when Suma gets flour all over herself, he smiles cause at least you’re not thinking about those sucky friends

NO SHE WOULD PROBABLY START CRYING CAUSE SHE DOESNT WANT YOU TO FEEL BAD

Like, she’s the Love Hashira, that’s not love! Why would your friends do that??

Would cuddle you to death, and wouldn’t let go until you felt as loved as she loves you. Expect lots of kisses throughout the day, more compliments, things of that nature

She just wants to make up for the loss of attention from your friends, so you are her main focus throughout the day (not that you aren’t all the time, but she’s doubly focused today)

[bobaji]

your friend tries to steal him.

#sakusa, aone, + kyotani.

+ HIIIIIIII I loved your friend flirting fic- could you do it with Ushijima, Aone, and Kyotanii!? THANKS IN ADVANCE!!!!!!!!! (Sorry I put this in the wrong section!!)

++ you may recognize this from here and here!

note: i've already done ushijima in the ones linked above so i decided to just do aone and kyotani and add sakusa!

sakusa kiyoomi.

✰ he wants pretty much nothing to do with her

✰ he isn't comfortable being close to your friend like that

✰ he loves you and only has every for you

✰ and luckily he clocks onto what she's up to pretty quickly

✰ and does his best to avoid her

✰ hes hesitant about telling you because he doesn't want to be the cause of your friendship falling apart

✰ but he definitely will throw her under the bus the second you get any kind of suspicious

✰ because he never ever wants you to think he would cheat on you

+

"i told you i'm not interesting in speaking to you," he sighs, not looking up from his phone. she sits across from him and giggles like she thinks he's flirting with her. it ticks him off but he holds his tongue.

"c'mon yoomi," she whines, "i know you can't be that blind."

"don't call me that," he snaps, "and what are you talking about?"

"i know you think i'm pretty," she coos, biting her lip.

he sighs, wishing he could slam his head against the table, "i really don't. i'm already dating _____."

she scoffs, "so? that doesn't mean you can't look at other girls..."

she reaches over and places her hand on his shoulder. he's immediately on his feet, pushing her hands off of him with a glare, "yes it does. i love her and the sooner you get that through your thick skull the better off we'll all be. i don't want you, get over yourself."

she has the audacity to look offended before he turns his back to her and storms off, ignoring the gawking states if bystanders as he leaves to find you - intent on getting rid of her touch with yours.

aone takanobu.

✰ aone doesn't like to have any negative expectations of anyone

✰ he truly believes your friend has the best intentions when approaching him

✰ and although he gets a little uncomfortable with the touches and flirtatious remarks she sends his way

✰ he does his best to brush it off

✰ honestly he feels really bad for you because he knows you're going to be so, so hurt by your friends betrayal

✰ so he tries to keep believing she has the best intentions

✰ but when she starts making comments about how you don't deserve someone like him and things of that nature

✰ he really can't stand for it anymore

+

the second she sits down, he sighs. she'd been trying to get his attention all day, grinning and waving at him until finally following him here and forcing herself into the seat beside him.

it makes him nervous - he doesn't want her near him and he doesn't understand why she won't take a hint.

aone is the first to admit that he's not the most desirable to women. it took him forever to accept your confession as anything other than a joke. and now he's sure this girl only wants him because she can't have him.

"please leave me alone," he requests softly, but all she does is smile.

"you know, nobu," she sighs, "i've liked you much longer than _____ has. and i have to say she just can't treat you right. she doesn't deserve someone as sweet and kind as you."

he frowns and shakes his head, "don't say things like that. i don't care how long you've liked me," he stands up, "i only want her so just leave me alone."

he hears her call something after him but he doesn't listen - he knows he needs to find you and tell you all about the terrible friend you have.

kyotani kentaro.

✰ kyotani is loyal to a fault

✰ hes immediately rejecting all contact with your friend

✰ honestly he doesn't think there's ANY reason she should be trying to hang out with him alone

✰ hes immediately suspicious and on guard

✰ the last thing he would ever do is jeopardize his relationship with you

✰ you are the best thing to ever happen to him

✰ and there's no way in hell he's going to let some random girl he doesn't even tolerate

✰ come in and ruin everything hes worked so hard to build

+

"i've told you to fuck off," he snaps, glaring, "i've already told _____ about this shit and i'm fuckin' sick of it."

"c'mon taro," she whines, biting her lip, "i could treat you real nice...much better than _______. i bet she can't even suck-"

"finish that sentence and i'll push you into moving traffic," he groans, though it's not the first time shes said vulgar things like that to him, "i don't want you. i don't like you. i don't even tolerate you. in fact i hate you."

"you can't hate me!" she gasps, "you think i'm too hot to hate," she giggles, gazing up at him through her lashes.

"i think mutts on the streets are prettier than you," he snaps, grinning at the offended look on her face, "i suggest you walk away before i really hurt your feelings."

© lovebo 2021. do not modify or repost.

[la-squadra1234]

All right, let’s do it that one seems very sweet. I am pretty excited to do this one!

As usual, thank you for the request it just makes me so happy and filled with joy to see that people like my content as it takes a while to make and I have to make it as quickly as possible so I still have time to do other activities! But I also can’t rush it because otherwise, it won’t be good so it takes a lot of effort and I am happy that people enjoy it just as much as I do

Full credit to la-squadra1234

Feitan- when he finds the poem at first, he is a little confused, but then when he continues reading, he honestly finds it, heartwarming and sweet, but then he remembers that he is a heartless, sadistic murderer but then again, his kid wrote him a whole poem literally just for him! Like how many kids do that for their parents he honestly felt so special in that moment<333

Phinks-(wait because why is this, reminding me of the time when he was reading the note that kurapika left for the phantom troupe) he would read it, and a small smile would appear on his face and when his kid walked back into their room. Their face was instantly red and they ran out of the room out of embarrassment, but he would chase after his kid and obviously he would catch up with no struggle at all, and he would tell his kid that it was very sweet of them to write a poem about him specifically and he would also complement his kids writing and tell them to keep writing like this and maybe one day they could become a author or something like that (but like we all know that his kid would be staring at him like bitch please an author seriously??? like he is literally in the phantom troupe BFFR)

Nobunaga-he would definitely be caught off guard when he is reading this poem, but it would instantly change his moved into a happy one! He wouldn’t reveal to his kid that he found the poem just to spare his kid the embarrassment, but you bet your ass he’s taking his kid out for ice cream! (did he kill the ice cream man honestly properly not he was in that good of a mood )

Chrollo-not only would he be super happy about the poem, but he would also be super happy about his kids, grammar and how his kids handwriting is perfect. He would be sure to walk up to his kid and compliment, his hand writing along with his grammar of course his kid would be embarrassed, but he doesn’t care if he wants to complement his kid you bet your ass. He will complement his kid and he will be proud about it as he should

hisoka-honestly I can’t think of anything for him because what would his kid be proud of him about? He is a very laid-back parent I guess if anything he would find a poem about his kid being happy that he doesn’t have his dad always on his back like other kids do or something like that of course if he found a poem like that, he would be pretty happy and he would feel like he is a good parent, and that he did the right thing (y’all we’re not gonna tell him that he’s doing the wrong thing. OK we need to let him have his moment. )

Illumi-I could see him finding a note in his child’s room of his child saying something like I am very fond of my dad. He is a very strong assassin, and he is teaching me to be just like him and I am just super inspired by him and I have been working super hard to impress him. I hope he is happy with how far I have come never mind that I just hope he even notices! He would feel a Rush of emotions he would feel happy, but a bit sad that his kid is unsure if he even notices their progress but then again, he would be happy of the fact that his kid would put in so much effort to make a poem that he didn’t even plan for him to see

Silva-the poem would definitely say something like I am super happy that I have a bunch of very strong siblings things to my dad and I am super happy that my dad is strong and proud of me and he defends me (Ngl that would be so damn cute) even though assassins aren’t supposed to have emotions and he has knocked that into his kid. He has clearly seen that his kid is a bit rebellious just like. Killua I mean he is breaking that no emotion rule, but then again. Silva is as well because he is very happy and thankful that his kid is fond of him. 

And that is it for right now everybody I hope everybody that is reading this enjoyed! I am trying my best to work as fast as I can, but also not make it shitty. I’ve explained something like that. In my last post. Go read it if you haven’t already it’s great trust me!!!

That is really all I have to say for right now!

Have a good night everybody bye now <3





[komatsunana]

Unpopular opinion, but I think Nana K and Takumi are really good for each other. I'm just really drawn to the both of them. I think that in his own way, Takumi does really love Hachi. Hachi is warm, motherly, and gentle, things that Takumi had always been deprived of ever since he was young. Even though Hachi is spoiled and childish she is a pillar of strength and loyal to a fault to her friends. Takumi can better ground Hachi to reality, and can accept her for what she is, and Hachi can soften Takumi.

I remember that scene in the bathtub when Hachi said that Takumi can rely on her, he was so surprised, like the concept of relying on someone else is so foreign to him, which is not surprising given his background. That's why that time when Takumi received the call about Ren's death, and he held Nana's hands, is all the more significant, because Takumi does not do that, he takes care of everything by himself.

I won't excuse his problematic behaviors, but who amongst the characters in Nana are not problematic? (Nana O with her possessiveness, Ren with his addiction, Reira and Shin's self esteem issues and struggle with their self worth)

Sooooo there is LOTS to unpack here, particularly with another ask I assume is from you.

What I'll focus on here is that,, I think the relationship is FAR tilted in Hachi making Takumi a better person than the other way around. Sure Takumi can give Hachi a reality check, but this isn't something that other character's couldn't provide Hachi if given the opportunity. Additionally, Hachi is 20, later turning 21. At that age, not many 20 year olds have a firm grasp of themselves and reality. Hachi's flightiness is part of her age. We see her growing up through the series and with or without Takumi, she'd be getting a reality check just by growing up. On the other hand, the things Hachi offers Takumi are things that no one else in the series is able to offer.

Take your example of Takumi taking Hachi's hand after getting the call about Ren's death. That is a very powerful example of how Takumi depends on Hachi, yes. But later, when Hachi is still processing her grief over Ren Takumi tells her without discussion that he won't be staying at their place. When Hachi, pregnant and grieving, cries and basically expresses that she's upset and needs his support... He just tells her to go stay with Nana, like it's obvious, like he hadn't just made plans all on his own and not discussed them at all with her. It's great that it worked out to both Hachi's and Nana's benefit to be together to grieve but as we find out... Takumi leaves Hachi at Nana's without any contact whatsoever. Prioritizing Reira's well-being over Hachi's. And while, true, Reira is in need of more direct comfort and care in her state... they have phones. A phone call, A TEXT would be sufficient just to check in. But he doesn't.

Additionally, at the end of the day... Takumi has raped Hachi twice that we've seen (chapter 29 and chapter 47), because rape isn't just physically beating someone into the act. She even says it's rape in chapter 48, though narratively it is treated as a joke. He also emotionally abuses her constantly, isolating her from others and belittling her when she implies he's jealous about Nobu when he is at least a little.

The way abuse works, the abuser has many more good and charming moments with their victim. That's why abuse victims stay which is why yes, Takumi and Hachi have lots of cute moments together. Those moments are why Hachi stays, why many abused people stay with their abusive partner at least in the beginning.

I do believe completely that in those future chapters we see ahead in NANA, Takumi is a much better person because all we've seen is that he does change and feel regret over his past behaviors. A better husband and partner to Hachi, and most importantly a loving father. But none of that means Hachi would ultimately be better off with their relationship. I do enjoy Takumi's character - he is among the most interesting characters of the series - but he definitely got the better end of the deal here.

Which brings me to the word problematic. I hate that word honestly, because it brings us to situations like this where we can distill people into being ~problematic~ without naming what qualities making them so. Takumi is a rapist and abuser and this is not equal with any of the characters problematic traits you've listed. That said, I'll say that Ren's problematic flaw is NOT being an addict. Being a drug user is not a moral failing, even if how someone treats people while using drugs can be. Ren's big failing is the same as Nana's - possessiveness even if it manifests itself differently. Also... one, struggling with self-esteem and self-worth are not problematic. Reira's issue is being an adult who is in a romantic and sexual relationship with a kid who is being sex trafficked.

One of the great things about NANA is the characters and their wide range of character flaws. I think the story is better off for having all of them, with all their flaws (even if narrative handling of some of those flaws could be better imo). That doesn't mean all flaws are equal. I respect that you have that opinion and I don't think it's as unpopular as you think. I just think you're on tumblr, where most users see rape and abuse as deal breakers. Go seek out the Instagram NANA fans or if you're interested in having a nuanced discussion about Takumi join my NANA Discord here.

Thanks for the ask and I'll answer the other asks in my ask box ASAP :)

[aetherknit]

hi nobu -- first off i want to say that this feels like such a massive understatement but THANK you. this honestly made me tear up. i think we are all hurting for kindness a bit right now and something so unprovoked and heartfelt made my entire week so much brighter. you are the only anon i have who still signs off, and in a way, you are a familiar face to me too ❤️🫂 thank you for your kindness, always.

i also want to echo your sentiments about the creativity in this fandom; i have had far more articulate friends talk about how unique this fandom was in its ability to self-sustain -- every day i saw artists and writers creating, i was inspired soo often (even when i didnt have the energy to follow through) despite a lack of content. although it hurts a lot (A. LOT. sorry to everyone thats heard me cry about this since it started) that things ended the way they did, what i loved most about this place was always and always will be the community.

i have never had such an amazing opportunity to connect with other artists, other writers, to collaborate -- i have grown a crazy amount because of every person on dtblr (especially the ones who supported me when my art was um... Well). i literally could not begin to list every person who has changed my life here, but in some ways, i feel like i can; this place has always felt close-knit and uplifting in a way no other fandom has to me, and im so grateful so many disbanded dtblr blogs left breadcrumbs to their new ventures. even though we may disconnect and fade away from each other over time, what we've had is so bright and irreplaceable -- i can't even pretend to regret my time here :) even beyond a creativity standpoint, posting here and talking to everyone was always a blast. one of the things that made me bawl in those first few days was thinking about losing all the silly inside jokes we had -- in some stupid ways, i feel like its graduation and dtblr is my homeroom class 😭

i am so so touched to hear about the fic, even if you never show me or never finish. it sounds corny but every single piece of writing or art i inspired is deeply meaningful to me. they represent the best part of being here, and ive looked back on fics dedicated to me or even my old DTIYS more than anyone could ever know. maybe someday youll be able to convert it into something new and share it anyway :) i would love to read it

i have given so much of myself to this fandom over the last 2 years (almost exactly, haha! i watched my first drm video on my birthday), and i have always been treated with overwhelming kindness. thank you for being part of what made everything so special 💗💗💗 much much love

[romchomp]

nana rewatch notes- episode 9

happy halloween!! :) lucky for us, this happens to be one of my favorite eps

-when hachi flirts with men she treats it as a fun little activity. having a crush is just something to do for funsies. it’s funny how everytime someone makes a comment about how it's weird that she’s flirting with her boss she just...literally doesnt process it lol

- if you think about it, hachi+shoji haven’t spent that much time dating while in close contact. right around when they got together after being friends for a while, they spent a year in a long distance relationship. the second hachi moves to tokyo all sorts of problems arise.

-i’ve said this before, but again, we don’t really know what hachi and shoji liked about each other. not much has changed since when they first met. which is weird.

- also why does hachi continue to find herself in relationships that require/offer minimal contact, hm? Why is she so good at romanticizing them? (this is rhetorical i know why)

- oh i cannot listen to hachi say “but i hardly get the feeling i’ve grasped anything in these hands” AND LOOK THE OTHER WAY

GODDDODOAD LESBIAN

- she’s realizing she wants more. or that she isn’t happy with what she has. but she’s finally achieved her goal from high school: she lives in tokyo with her boyfriend. these were never about her as a person though, so even though she has what she wanted, she feels empty.

- this whole monologue is really good. she talks about how everything has worked out for her, but something is missing. “what do i want?”, “am i asking for too much?”

-it really makes you wonder what made hachi hold these things up in such high regards in the first place. I dont think even she knows.

- she was filled with doubt while thinking about shoji but after spending time with nana she is reassured that everything is just peachy lol

- “it’s always fun when i’m with nana”, “i guess this is what they mean when people say “you just click”

it’s honestly ludicrous the way hachi is always chasing after love+failing; while also perfectly describing it anytime she’s thinking about nana.

-nana makes a table to fit at the center of the window. This makes it harder for nana to stand at the center of shots, but thats okay because now she shares it with hachi :)

-YOU ARE GAY

-omg pls be nobu

- pissing and crying and throwing up…actually laughed so hard at this lol. i love them…

- “you’ll make a great wife” of course nobu would say that 💀

- i love that hachi is just watching nobu and nana be the dysfunctional siblings they are in bewilderment

- look at them

-so we know that nana has the desire to be prioritized, but has too much pride to ever outright ask for it. i’d also say that she’s SCARED to ask. she doesn’t expect it to last. nobu coming all the way to tokyo for her, while it moves her in some way, she’s afraid/doesn’t want to accept his gesture. that’s not to mention that nobu’s family owns a pretentious inn. one that that his family wants him to take over, and this is something nana emphasizes. nobu could turn his back on nana anytime he wanted. in nana’s eyes there’s nothing stopping him. but there is…nobu’s own wants+agency- and he wants to be in a band with nana. over and over in the series nobu reminds us that he will always chose nana.

-“i know you’d prefer a band to going solo” yasu once again having a good grasp on nana’s feelings. he says this because he understands nana, unlike nobu who thinks this as well- but it’s based in assumption and expectation.

-interesting that nobu is the one who understands nana the least out of him, yasu, and ren. and yet is the one seemingly the most flexible and willing to help nana.

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES

-the table is no longer in the way of nana standing in the center now that she stands on top of it to sing. she is the literal center of hachi’s view+attention (and using the table as a pedestal to boot)

-i want that fucking jacket

- now hachi is ALSO in the center of this shot as we watch nana’s performance through her eyes FUCKJLSDFBIAF IM OBSESSED WITH THIS SCENE ITS LITERALLY A MASTERPIECE GOODBYE

- okay one last thing: nobu being there on the side during this scene is also indicative of the future dynamic he’ll end up having with the two of them LMAO

-ep 9 of nana saved my life actually

previous episode

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[bri-notthecheese]

my thoughts on Iki Island:

(spoilers under the cut)

I really loved this DLC! I had nothing but high hopes for this after playing the base game last year (and three more times after that), and Sucker Punch didn’t disappoint. The whole time playing it I felt like it was only adding to my love of the characters and the stories they set up in the base game, and then all the new quests and mechanics added a lot of fresh fun on top of that! 

So where to even begin. 

The opening scene was super cool and a neat way to introduce the new shaman enemies. And despite Yuna only actually being in one scene, it was a delight to see her again. Though since I’m playing the DLC after finishing everything, I don't love the continuity of Yuna not accompanying him, but gameplay wise I knew that wasn’t going to happen anyway, but I just love when she’s with us <3

Went for my horse straight away and I was THRILLED to see that Kaze can now kill enemies and the new charge mechanic was way more fun than I was expecting and I was having too much fun with that. After Nobu, I didn’t expect to get attached the Kaze all that much (even if he continued on into a later game) but I was quickly proved wrong with this because I now kind of separate Nobu as the more gentler of the two, that was always there for me, and while Kaze is too, I like imagining Kaze is a lot younger and his aggressive personality in this really sold that and I like that it probably eases Jin’s worries a bit to see his new horse being able to fend off attacks a bit better. Plus, with his new armor, he’s even safer <3 Really fell more in love with Kaze in this, which I didn’t expect.

Met The Eagle next and had that whole encounter. I love how right away if you pay attention, you know Yuna isn’t Yuna because she’s never once addressed Jin as ‘my lord.’ I think the only time she said it was when she was talking to both him and Shimura at the lighthouse, and it wasn’t because she wanted to. But still, even knowing something was wrong, it’s cute that Jin’s mind went to her as a safe place who he’d have no problem entrusting stories and secrets to, which was obviously the Eagle’s goal. And hearing her voice warp into the Eagle’s was creepyyyy and so good <3  (my Yuna loving ass was sad to realize that was most likely the last time we’d see her, but that’s okay) That next part of the hallucination really got you feeling for Jin, and I couldn’t help but be frustrated that he’s only a child, how was he supposed to help?!?!? 

So I ignored Tenzo’s next mission and explored and pretty much completed the entire island. I got jump scared WAY too many times by her taunts, but I loved how that just added to the direness of the situation. I was obsessed with finding all the hallucinations and it just kept breaking my heart how Jin has all of this pent up guilt/heartache--with Ryuzo (he had so many I found), his father, his uncle, the Khan, Nobu :(, Masako, etc. I honestly had expected to find one regarding Taka and I’m a bit sad that I didn’t. Add those to the memories of his father and the ever-present taunting, I was going through it with Jin <3 At least you can pet the animals for him <3 The little smile he’d get every time was worth it. And the flute playing mechanic was really neat!

The first memory I got was their chat before Kazumasa’s death and honestly that got me all teary because Jin wanted so badly to hear him say he accepted him as his son, but deep down, would he have felt it? And my heart just breaks so much for Jin because as I kept going through the memories, I kept thinking how well 1) his dad sucks, but 2) both father figures kept wanting Jin to be somebody else. And it hurts that he was closer to Shimura’s way of thinking and how we even see that one time that Shimura corrects Jin, that his recitation of what honor means were his father’s words, and gets Jin to say that kindness is what honor means to him and wow. <3 <3 <3 But it hurts knowing their fate too <3 That while Shimura was more of a father to Jin than Kazumasa was, eventually, he couldn’t accept what Jin was doing in their way. Though it does hurt and make you wonder if Shimura was frightened that Jin was turning into his dad...I had that thought many times. (I loved seeing Adachi so much though omg <3 <3 <3) It was very interesting how the song Jin ends up playing for his father at the end of the memories is the ‘Jin Sakai’ theme. And then how that in turn, morphs into ‘The Way of the Ghost’ later on when in the final battle. 

It hurts that Jin had Chiyoko in his life for such a short time. I’m glad he did have Yuriko at least, but all of Jin’s memories on his mother and how she emphasized just living was so prominent, and her love of animals clearly passed to him and that gentleness too. And of instruments. Such softness, and I love that he retains that even as an adult. It makes sense that he doesn’t speak of his mother as often since he has far less experiences with her vs Kazumasa or Shimura, but it was nice to see her influence within him.  

Did this quest near the end of my exploration but I got the BIGGEST smile on my fave when I barged in the house to find the Ghost of Iki Island was Kenji <3 <3 <3 I love this dumbass so much and it was so nice to see a familiar face <3 Plus it let Jin have an actual full laugh when Kenji referred to them both as ‘tough guys’ XD His quests are always enjoyable for me and so I really loved that (though I was also Jin when he’s like “...you didn’t say goodbye.”) but I was happy to see him do the right thing at the end <3 THEN I got to duel the Viper because I diffused the situation instead and that was fun. Love that Jin explains his knowledge of negotiation was learned from all the years with Shimura <3 Also enjoyed spotting Kenji later in the Refuge XD

Really enjoyed all the side quests overall, loved all the animal sanctuaries, and the archery was a TON of fun! Getting the horse armor was neat, seeing Jin actively stop a Mythic retelling, though I was surprised there was no duel for that one. The one for the monkey armor was so creepy, following the lights in the cave, but so damn cinematic and that fight was incredible plus that amor is my new best friend. Seriously omg, the duels in this DLC felt so much beefier than the base game (I was playing on hard so that could be a reason, but the fights didn’t feel this tanky in the base) But that armor just made them a piece of cake if you’re good at perfect parries and perfect dodges <3 <3

Loved the banter and camaraderie between Jin and Tenzo throughout. And I really enjoyed Fune’s character as well! Did the next few story missions and I couldn’t help that sense of foreboding slipping in as I was getting more attached to these characters. Love that they had Kidafure Battlefield on the map but it isn’t till the mission that they tack on the ‘Village’, really hitting home what happened there. 

Maybe I should have been, but I did not see the twist with Tenzo coming at ALL! I physically gasped when he spoke the “May your death benefit all things” to that random Mongol and I was soooo tense, like Jin listen I know he was your dad but also Tenzo spared you. Which I love in the long run how he spared the Butcher’s child only to save him later in life, and Jin could save him and the island in return <3 Because ohhhhhh boy did I get emotional when Jin stopped the Eagle from landing that blow. 

But before that, HER FIGHT IS SO FUCKING COOOOOL!!!!!! SHE IS SO DAMN FAST AND SHE EASILY WIPED THE FLOOR WITH ME THE FIRST TWO TIMES. I also love her references to Khotan and that her moveset with the spear shares some similarities with him.  I tried once more in my Ghost armor (for fashion) and then I switched to the Sarugami armor and was flying through just to have that whole cutscene.

I know culture is different and obviously I can never understand that mindset, but to hear him say to Jin that they both should have died there broke my heart. What kind of a father wants his son’s death with him like that?!?!?!?! But I LOOOOOOVED ‘Honor and Ash’ playing in the background for that scene, as Jin is rejecting what his father may have thought/wanted (just like he did to Shimura with that track at the end of Act 2) and then it moved up a key just to reinforce that Jin is forgiving himself for this and letting go and again, forging his own path just as he did with his uncle. I loved that they used that piece for that pivotal moment...

...JUST TO KICK IT INTO AN EVEN HIGHER GEAR WITH JIN SAVING TENZO AND THE GHOST THEME BLARING IN WITH A KEY CHANGE TO THEN TRIUMPHANTLY FINISH OFF THE EAGLE!!!!! I WAS SO HYPED (and also hoping I wouldn’t die cuz how anti climactic would that have been?!?) but I didn’t and I really enjoyed the resolution between those two. I bowed to him after he bowed to me and I love that they even added dialogue for that if players do decide to do that <3 <3 <3 

The next quest with Fune was sweet, though it felt a little odd to do after defeating the Eagle, but it was sweet nonetheless. I have to finish up some trophy stuff, I guess there’s unseen quests that I’m sure I’ve done a few of, but I have to figure out what I missed. The dueling ring was fun, though that lady was the most difficult for me.

A few things of note:

-I like that in this DLC, you really can’t tell if it’s better to kill or spare Shimura. And how there are lines that could mean slightly different things to Jin depending on what he’s done. I’ve done both and I was on a file where he spared him, but besides a hallucination mentioning the Ghost being hunted for the rest of his days, nothing else pointed to one choice or the other.

-Though a line Jin said to Sugi threw me a bit when he said something along the lines of ‘you’ll never understand how hard it is to kill your family’ and maybe he was referencing his guilt for his father, but I’m like ?????? who else did you kill Jin??? Shimura is fine in this play through XD 

-Talking with her though, I like that Jin described himself as ‘someone who knows what it’s like to be hunted’ :((((((

-Tenzo also made reference to a friend of his being beheaded, but not finding the head till a week later, and asking Jin if he understands that and while the situation is different, I bet Jin’s mind went to Taka :( 

-Loved the subtle storytelling elements with Jin falling into his nightmares during the fight through the Gorge and his resolve disappears each time. The second time it happened, I verbally went “oh my resolve.....oh.”

-I do think Sucker Punch made a lil mistake though because I started thinking about how in Tale 8 of Masako’s quests, I’m almost certain she mentions Jin not understanding her need for revenge or something along those lines, and she talks about Shimura hunting down Kazamasu’s killer for weeks and how Jin had his closure. But uhhhhhh obviously his killer was never found? Or they killed the wrong one? And they didn’t mention it was on Iki Island and obviously didn’t have that foresight that they’d be doing this DLC since he was killed in the snow in the base game and now it was under a wisteria tree, but besides that small thing, I had no complaints! except for always wanting more Yuna

It was so great and I felt it really complemented the base game, especially in regards to everything that Jin feels guilty and responsible for, but also puts his relationship with Shimura is so many new lights that I loooove and I need to talk about more!!! If you read this far, feel free to hmu to chat about it because my best friend who played the base game at the same time I did and screamed with me about it has not played this yet and ahhhhh!!!!!!

[hasgudagudadoneanythingwrong]

character opinion bingo for Mata Hari, Avenger Nobbu, Enkidu

These get pretty long so I'm putting it under a readmore, but here you go!

Mata Hari

Mata is so sweet!!! I love her my heart. Unfortunately though, suffers from being almost entirely forgotten about by the devs. Seriously, she deserves so much more and so much better.

I think she'd be a really good mother figure too, so I'd love to see her taking care of some of Chaldea's kid Servants, too! I think she'd be very sweet on them and give them lots of love and attention <3

I may not wish to adopt Mata Hari but I certainly would help her file her own adoption papers and also I do wish to give her a better more loving home than the devs do lmao

Anyway, I don't actually know too much about how other people see her so I can't tell if this is common or not, but I actually don't really like seeing her sexualized much (as like a personal preference)?? Like, being a stripper was her job, yes, but I feel like outside of that, all she really wants is just to be loved and secure and happy, and so I honestly have like 0 sexual fantasies about her at all, and I feel like I'd only really be able to enjoy any kind of sexual content about her if it's like, really loving and wholesome n stuff. Anything just, goin' all in on the stripper side of things is just kinda, okay maybe hot from an impersonal standpoint, but like, actually knowing her?? I'd rather just give her a hug :(

Avenger Nobu

Alrighty, sticking with specifically first ascension Avenger Nobu here, god where do I. Fucking. I love them, I think they could be so much fucking cooler than they canonically are, in fact I think everyone and the devs are wrong about how to portray them, perhaps even me but I'm the closest yes definitely, and I want to see so, so much more of them, not just in screentime but in depth, too.

I think, being an Avenger class servant of actual fucking Oda Nobunaga, the most ruthless god damn warlord of the era, they should be so much more intense than they are. Right now, I'm pretty fucking sure the devs just, took Archer Nobu, fiddled with the cape some, and called it a day. It's the same person. Nothing changed.

Where is the Oblivion Correction. The ruthlessness. Even so much as an intense quiet stare with the most ice cold remark to remind you just what inhuman monster you have summoned. You could even still have the goofy funny silly antics of regular Nobbu for the most part, but just, there's no reminder for even a moment of who you're dealing with, which is disappointing, given they switched over to an Avenger class.

And maybe it all just went over to Maou, that's definitely very possible, that nothing really changed because they're just a placeholder to swap out Archer Nobu for a single 3-in-1 Servant and just give Maou all the serious stuff, but... I dunno, I feel like it's a missed opportunity to at least throw something in there.

Anyway, I want to see more of them (especially interacting with Ranmaru!) but also when the Avenger Nobbu's are around, it's always either Nobu or Maou?? Where the fuck did Kippoushi go??? Have we even seen them once since Honnoji???? please give nobu and maou a break so we can have some kippoushi for once please

Also more wasted potential they don't have more plural system shit showcased there either with like, all of 'em swapping around, even if only slower shifts every other conversation/battle/day or so. It would be very good and funny. And we all know Nobbu as a whole exists to be funny.

Enkidu

Enkidu is someone I think I used to have a lot of thoughts on but now I've forgotten most of those thoughts but still really like them, but!! I love them and their relationship with (in)humanity, and the struggle to truly understand what it is to be a human, or to love humanity, rather. They have incredible vibes, and I love them very much <33

Otherwise though I struggle to actually say too much about who they are because it's just been a hot minute, but they're very much doing their best and I love them and wish to give them a hug if they would be comfortable with such <33

[placebogirl7]

Hello! Is it possible for Hachi to file for a divorce from Takumi, in the future? Ever since I saw that chapter where Junko asks Nana if she's getting divorced, I was thinking about the reason for the sudden question, and I came to the conclusion that earlier Hachi MAYBE told Junko something that Takumi did (or something you found out, whatever). )), and how that led her to think about divorcing him, even considering it, maybe Takumi's lovers, and Reira are the reason but I don't know, what do you think? I want to think that if she is going to do it but knowing Hachi ...

Hello anon!

I think there is actually nothing that prevent Hachi from getting a divorce, if that is what she really want. I mean, nobody is keeping her from doing it, nobody threatened her saying "If you divorce from Takumi I'll kill you". The problem is that Hachi doesn't want to divorce from him, it's her own choise. Takumi is currently living (and working) in London with Reira. We don't know the reason why he went there, but we can suppose that Reira couldn't live in Japan anymore because she's mentally ill and she needed another place where she could recover without paparazzi and all the rest. He will never abandon her because she's his treasure (and he also feels guilty about her), so he left his family behind and went with her in the only other place they knew apart from Japan. It could also be possibile as you said that Hachi has discovered about his lovers, but that wouldn't have been a big news because Hachi knew from the beginning that Takumi would have betrayed her with other women (and for some still uknown reasons to me she accepted it like we accept a piece of cake at a birthday party...). I guess Junko was aware too of this situation from the beginning, so I don't see it as a real reason to think about divorce only now. What I think is that since they are living apart, the family Hachi wanted to build doesn't exist anymore. She's not happy, Satsuki miss her father and brother, Takumi is not happy and his sense of guilt is killing him (thanks God, finally), little Ren doesn't want to live in Japan and seems not satisfied of his life too. Since no one of them is truly happy, I guess Junko has suggested to Hachi to divorce because it's usless to have a husband if you barely see him or talk to him. A husband shouldn't be a stranger who lives kilometers away from you. I would like Hachi to divorce too because honestly their marriage has been a big mistake from the beginning, but has you said Hachi...well, it's Hachi, no matter how much people love and justify her because she's cute, being cute isn't enough to justify the mistakes and shit you do. She has been betrayed by her boyfriend, made a drama about it and then guess what? She married a man who she knew was the ultimate cheater in the world and she accepted (and still accept) all his bullshit. Girl, there is a limit even to masochism XD Since I "like" the nowadays Hachi more than the Hachi of the past, I hope that the reason why she doesn't want to divorce is because she feels that doing it will destroy her kids life. I hope she's doing it for her kids and not because she's still hoping to have Takumi's back, because that will be...idk, I will disrespect her for the rest of my life if the reason is that one. To sum up, I see 3 reasons why Hachi doesn't want to divorce from Takumi:

- she doesn't want to destroy the family she has created, because since she was a child her biggest dream was to be a bride. Admitting that her marriage is over is like admitting the defeat and sometimes is hard to look at yourself in the mirror and say "I failed".

- she doesn't want her child to grow up with their parents separated. It's not healthy for them.

- she fears to remain alone. Despite we have seen her more mature than in the past, there is a sentence that she said in the manga which has always left me doubtful. She stated that if Nana will return to live in apartment 707, she will move to the house in Shirogane she's currently living in (and in which also Takumi lived before moving to England) to live again with her. Then she defined herself a "single mother". The meaning of "single mother" is a woman that hasn't a partner and is bearing her child alone. Hachi is definitely bearing Satsuki almost alone, because Takumi visits them only a few times at year, but she still has a husband who is taking care of one of her childs. She's not a single mother, she's just a lonely wife. The fact that she defined herself like that made me think that Hachi is remaining with Takumi because since Nana ran away and she don't know if she will ever return, Takumi is the only one left, the closest person to her despite he's far away too. Hachi is probably more scared than Nana herself at the idea of remaining alone, because for the major part of her life she has always relied on someone else. If she divorces from him before knowing for sure if Nana will come back or not, the risk for her is to remain alone with only her children. Instead, if Nana will return, she will accept to leave Takumi and stay with Nana and her children.

I never considered her to love him at the point to accept all the shit because between them there has never been true love if we compare it to other love stories in the manga. Hachi herself when Takumi ignored her after Ren's death get close again to Nobu and admitted she was falling again in Nobu's harms because he was kind to her while Takumi was distant even emotionally and too concentrated on Reira. Also, in a current scene, while Nobu is playing Nana's guitar in her old room in apartment 707, Hachi sits next to him and lays her head on his shoulder. I mean, that isn't the behaviour a married woman should have with her ex, especially if we consider the circumstances...

(And before some Hachi fan will answer madly at this post, please consider that this only my opinion and that there are also people in the fandom who aren't Hachi super fan ;))

Thank you for asking anon! <3

[mediocreauthor]

Hello, it’s me again ranting about Nana to no one!  But really I don’t understand, what in the actual fuck was Takumi’s motive?

If there is one person in Nana universe that I don’t understand at all, it’s Takumi. I just re-read some chapters to get some answers, only to find more questions. It’s clear that Takumi was attracted to Hachiko during their first meeting, but this doesn’t imply anything special since -well, Hachi has a certain charm that is unique to herself, almost everyone in manga states that. So yeah, he calls her the next day, they have sex, nothing rare happens, no love at first sight just the usual one night stand shabang. Takumi promises to visit her when the tour ends, then leaves in the morning, doesn’t call Hachi again. Until THAT fucking night that I wish never happened. Nobu and Shin go to partying with Trapnest (chapter 17) and Ren brings up the signature thing for Hachi and at first Takumi doesn’t EVEN REMEMBER her. This far, we can tell that Takumi doesn’t yield any ardent feelings for her, she was just like any other girl he had slept with. He even degrades Hachi in front of her friends. Like no, chivalry just fuckery 💖

Then Nobu and Shin whoops his ass, and he says this to Ren: 

‘Thanks to you guys, I remembered something important I have to do.’ Takumi wouldn’t even remembered to see Hachi if Nobu didn’t react that way. The following disasters wouldn’t even happen, Takumi would just be Hachi’s one night stand. Okay, he goes to her, they have sex and he’s high key impressed with Hachi’s game in bed (honestly who wouldn’t be).   I don’t want to analyze their every interaction because honestly reading those chapters makes me sad. Basically they spent approximately 3 more nights we see that Takumi also gets possesive over Hachi, perfect. There was shortage of people who think Hachi belongs to them in the manga! Hachi calls Takumi, he thinks she is pregnant for a second and what’s his reaction?   “If it’s about someting as annoying as this, don’t tell me!” True to his character, he finds it troublesome even tell her to deal with it on her own. Okay, nothing crazy till here. Hachi breaks up with him, IN HER OWN WAY but of course Takumi doesn’t get it because he DOESN’T KNOW HER! Nana would interpret that sentence as a breakup right away, Takumi just doesn’t. Since he thinks they are still a thing, he pays a visit and finds out she is pregnant. Hachi explicitly tells him that “she won’t keep it” and it also might be her boyfriend’s. You know the rest, Takumi goes bonkers, locks her in the bathroom and manipulates Hachi, Nana and Nobu.  So my question is what the hell? Is Takumi this much of a petty person that he would agree to become the father of a child that might be his, marry a girl that he kinda likes?? He doesn’t have any existing beef backstory with Nobu, why is it so important that he gains Hachi? Especially since he finds these situations troublesome?  And when they get married, he cheats on Hachi both psychically AND emotionally (don’t even get me started on Takumi and Reira). 

The answer could be that he is just a dick, but knowing the characters Ai Yazawa creates, that is never the answer. If you have any theories about this, I am begging you to share it with me because my little ass brain with no wrinkles can’t comprehend it!! WHAT THE HELL, TAKUMİ???  

[kketilin]

Three Pieces — Chapter 1

Three different hearts, all missing a piece.

This is the story of how three different people fumble through love, all the while they try to fix and connect the pieces of their hearts.

[Chapter 1 of 5]

Collab Together with @pikashadow​! Cheating and Heavy angst warning !!

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32867374/chapters/81562753

Pairing(s): Miyuki Kazuya x Sawamura Eijun | Narumiya Mei x Sawamura Eijun

Tags: Angst / Angst and Hurt/Comfort / Unhealthy relationships / Cheating / Eventual Happy Ending / Introspection / Multiple Endings

SAWAMURA EIJUN

Eijun was loved. 

 Eijun grew up in a loving family, one that cherished him like he was the most precious gem in existence

 he was surrounded by supportive friends that believed in him and helped push him to achieve greater heights

 he was sociable and was often told that he was as bright as the sun, people loved him 

 Never had he felt lonely  yet... 

 Eijun felt empty.  

 He didn't really understand the feeling either

 It wasn't the empty like he didn't receive enough attention from the ones he loved

 He felt a void in his heart that remained wide open no matter how much he was showered with affection and care 

 But it was the empty that felt like something was just missing.

 A part of him felt incomplete, like it needs something more

 He eventually discovered baseball after playing Pawapuro when he was hanging out at Nobu's place.

 The game was very... complex, but he felt an odd feeling of satisfaction when he watched his character pitch from the mound

 (He can't help but be curious, would pitching be that satisfying in real life?)

 It was on his 10th birthday when his family had gifted him with a pitcher's mitt, starting his dream of making it to Koshien and become the best pitcher there is

 Every single pitch he threw was just so satisfying and he felt felt a feeling of contentment after every single ball

 The joy of standing on the mound gave him a feeling of fullness he never felt before

 It was after the first strike he threw towards Nobu's mitt that he knew

 He knew he fell in love with baseball

 But... 

 He failed to realize, rather, he chose to ignore it...

 ..The still empty void in his heart remaining in his heart

 A gap that not even baseball could fulfill

---

“Ne, Harucchi” Eijun asked as he took a sip from his bottle, wiping the sweat off his face during the process “What is love?” 

 “L-Love?! Why are you suddenly asking something like that?” The petite teen stuttered in embarrassment, his entire face tinted pink that matched his hair. 

 Eijun only gave a smile in response before turning back to face the field, his gaze immediately falling on a certain bespectacled catcher crouched behind the home plate wearing his trademark wide annoying grin  

 “Because I don’t know if this is love” he whispered underneath his breath 

 He’d seen it in his Shoujo mangas before

 How a person’s significant other came into their life and completed the empty pieces in their hearts

 How the protagonist's heart always goes doki doki whenever the other's person is around

 How they felt as if their dull life became full of colors the moment their partner came 

 They called it love. 

 It was different from the love he felt for baseball

 (Even he won't kiss a baseball to show affection, that's just gross)

 And while he found it cheesy at first, he couldn't help but wonder

  Was this love he was feeling?

 He was slightly stupid (just slightly) but even he knew it wasn't normal

 Ever since the day Miyuki Kazuya told him that the best pitches are works of art produced by a battery working as one

 Ever since the day he called him ‘partner’ 

 He felt complete. 

 His heart would always start beating like crazy whenever the catcher slung his arm around his neck

 He felt like there were butterflies in his stomach every time the catcher would praise him and his pitches

 He would feel his face reddening as blood rush up to it whenever the catcher teased him with that grin he found so oddly endearing 

 And while he thought (or he was trying to convince himself) that it was solely due to his admiration and respect for the bespectacled catcher, Eijun knew it was something more than that 

 Eijun loved baseball more than anything else, every single ball he pitched slowly filled up the emptiness in him

 It's no exaggeration to say his world revolved around baseball and he left no room for anything else 

 Yet Miyuki Kazuya came and filled the empty gap he thought he had closed

 Miyuki Kazuya completed baseball for him. 

 Was this love?  

  Was he in love with Miyuki Kazuya?  

---

It was the night after he had just been promoted to the first string and most players have already retreated to their beds or practicing inside, leaving him and Miyuki alone in the bullpen 

 He windup and threw his pitch, the ball landing in Miyuki’s mitt with a satisfying smack.

 The older teen stood up and threw the ball back, calling out “that was a nice ball! Last one then we’re done” with a charming boyish grin that made his heart skip a beat 

 He can't help but think it should be illegal to be that handsome

 Eijun watched him crouch back down and he felt his face burning up

 (Thank god it was dark or else Miyuki Kazuya would make fun of his red face right now)

 “Miyuki-senpai” his lips opened without thinking and the words he’d been keeping hidden deep inside slipped off his lips “I think I love you—” 

 Ah crap— he didn't mean to—

 “Alright” 

 Eijun blinked, caught off guard.

 Did he just... accept his confession?

 While he didn’t mean to confess especially when he should be focusing on training even more now that he made it the first string, he was expecting to be turned down or worse, ignored. 

 Never did he expect his confession to be accepted,

 Or for his feelings to even be mutual for that matter

 (Miyuki Kazuya never really showed any signs of interest towards him and he thought the catcher only saw him as a obnoxiously loud kouhai so can you really blame him for being surprised?)

 “H-huh?” 

 “Let’s go out.” 

 Everything that happened afterwards left Eijun in a daze

 Without a moment's notice the older teen was already standing in front of him and he audibly gulped when catcher had closed the distance between the two of them, invading his personal space

 He felt a hand lift his chin and his breath hitched the moment he realized the catcher's lips was only a hair's breadth away 

 (His mind immediately registered how it looked so soft and so kissable)

 Miyuki Kazuya leaned in forward and it didn't take long before he felt warm, soft lips against his own

 Eijun gave up his first kiss that night

  Eijun was happy.

 Really happy.

 He still couldn't believe Miyuki Kazuya agreed to go out with him.

 And honestly?

 He felt like pinching himself or slapping his cheeks, hoping this wasn't a dream.

 (He actually did pinch himself one time during a game, causing his teammates to give him weird looks. But he somehow managed to laugh it off, giving them a bright smile and reassuring them he was alright. Thankfully, they didn't seem to think much of it, calling him an idiot before watching the game again.)

 Even right now...

 He and Miyuki Kazuya (or Miyuki-senpai as he had started calling him (much to his amusement)) sat on top of his bed, talking to each other.

 They weren't doing anything but talking, but he felt so happy.

  So complete.

 He suddenly felt the urge to tell him how happy he was.

 He looked at him, feeling his heart race as he (once again) realized how good-looking he was. And that he was his boyfriend. "Miyuki-senpa—"

 "Kazuya."

 He blinked a few times. "Eh?"

 Why did Miyuki-senpai just say his given name?

 He wasn't that stupid.

 He knew his boyfriend's given name.

 "Call me Kazuya, Eijun." Miyuki-senpai gave him an unreadable look.

 It certainly wasn't the first time, but he couldn't help but wonder what Miyuki-senpai was thinking. It was difficult to tell a lot of the time, especially with his poker face.

 But Miyuki-senpai was his boyfriend.

 And he wanted him to call him by his given name.

 Was it possible to feel happy, excited, and nervous at the same time?

 (Even he didn't know why he felt nervous. It could be because his boyfriend was his senpai. Or maybe it was because he knew (or at least hoped) their relationship will change once he started calling him by his given name.)

 For some reason, his hands felt sweaty. "A-alright K-kazuya-senpai."

 "Pfft. You always say my full name, but you're having trouble saying my given name? Drop the senpai." Kazuya-senpai... Kazuya snickered, giving him an amused grin.

 He wasn't sure whether to feel irritated or relieved. "R-right."

 "Say it, Ei~jun~" Kazuya reached out, pulling him close, causing him to gasp once he realized only a few centimeters separated their lips. He cupped his chin, fingers rubbing his chin, causing him to almost shiver at feeling those fingers so close to his lips.

 Being this close to him was so distracting.

 All he wanted was to lean in and kiss him.

 "K-Kazuya..." He somehow managed not to look at those tempting lips, meeting Kazuya's eyes instead.

 (Would Kazuya even let him if he gave in to the temptation?)

 Kazuya gave him a smug grin. "Louder~ I can't hear you."

 It was obvious Kazuya was enjoying this.

 ... If he were honest, though, a part of him was enjoying it, too.

 (Not the teasing part. But he was definitely enjoying getting to call him by his given name.)

 And he didn't know why.

 Maybe it was because of the teasing.

 Or maybe it was because Kazuya wanted him to say his given name louder.

 But he found himself saying his name much louder than he had intended to. "KAZUYA!"

  "Eijun-kun! it's time for lunch!" Haruichi walked in to their classroom with Furuya and Toujo in tow.

 Eijun put his hands together and bowed down apologetically "Harucchi! Gomen! I'm eating with Kazuya today!"

As much as he wanted to eat lunch with his best friend, he had already promised to eat with Kazuya

 And of course his boyfriend took priority.

 He liked Harucchi, the pink haired batter had always supported him since the beginning,

 But Harucchi can't give him the same kind of joy Kazuya can,

 He can't make him feel so complete,

  So full,

 It was something only his boyfriend could do.

 "Kazuya? You mean Miyuki-senpai?"

 "Since when were you on a first-name basis with Miyuki-senpai, Bakamura?"

 Oh. right.

 They haven't told anyone about their relationship yet,

 Both of them have agreed on keeping quiet for now,

 Kazuya was the starting catcher for the team after all.

 (It was really hard to hold back from yelling to the team during breakfast the day after his confession that they were dating though, he had to pinch his arms in order to not say anything causing him to receive concerned looks from Haruichi and Furuya but he just laughed it off saying he was just still sleepy)

 "I-I uhhh..." he managed to stutter out.

 Eijun wasn't exactly the best with keeping secrets,

 (It's really a surprised no one still found out they were dating after all this time)

 And he didn't really like to keep them.

 Especially from Harucchi of all people.

 But he can't betray Kazuya's trust on him..

 The thought of Kazuya being upset at him made his heart clench.

  He loves Kazuya far too much and he doesn't think he'll be able to handle it.

 Should he just lie instead?

  Lie to Harucchi and his friends?

 That doesn't seem to sit right with Eijun either.

 "Eijun!" a familiar voice called out, interrupting Eijun's thoughts

 A voice that made his chest feel warm,

 He turned to see Kazuya waiting for him out in the hall.

 His heart immediately skips a beat.

 "Ah! Hold on!" Eijun called back, a felt his lips curl into a soft smile reserved only for his boyfriend.

 He turned back to his friends and put his hands together again, repeating his actions from earlier "Sorry guys, I have to go"

  Eijun was so happy.

 Sure, he didn't like having to hide his relationship with Kazuya from his teammates, especially his friends like Harucchi.

 (And he understood why they had to hide it, of course.)

 But other than that, he felt so happy with how his relationship with Kazuya was going.

 "What are you thinking about?"

 Eijun blinked a few times, Kazuya's voice bringing him out of his thoughts, causing him to look over at him.

 To his surprise, Kazuya was... a lot closer than he had been before, causing him to flush.

 They weren't doing anything besides cuddling in his bed, but with the covers over them and how close they were...

 Someone could easily get the wrong idea (or the right idea).

 Remembering belatedly that Kazuya had asked him something, he furrowed his eyebrows. "Sorry. I wasn't listening. What were you saying?"

 "Oh, really?" Kazuya drawled, causing him to blink at the almost... dark look in his eyes.

 (It was probably just his imagination, right?)

 Before he could even think of responding to that, though, Kazuya moved on top of him, hovering above him, causing him to gasp despite himself.

 "And what were you thinking about when I'm here with you?" Kazuya narrowed his eyes.

 Eijun almost gulped.

 Somehow, he had made him... angry?

 Eijun felt tempted to touch Kazuya, but he didn't know if he would let him, especially if Kazuya was angry with him. "I... I was thinking about you, Kazuya."

 Kazuya blinked a few times, his familiar (but also irritatingly good-looking) smirk returning to his face, almost causing him to breathe a sigh of relief. "Oh? And what about me?"

 "I was..." Eijun took a deep breath before reaching out and touching Kazuya's cheek with one hand. "I was thinking about how happy I am with you. You make me so happy, Kazuya."

 To his relief (and delight), Kazuya allowed his touch. He even seemed to... enjoy it, briefly touching his hand and leaning into it. "You're so sappy," he teased.

 Eijun flushed, shooting him a dirty look when he snickered. "Shut up. It's the truth."

 Kazuya snickered one more time before looking at him with almost... soft eyes, taking his breath away. "I'm happy to hear that. Really, Eijun."

 Eijun wasn't imagining things, right?

 Was that almost... soft look just for him?

 He tried to keep his attention on Kazuya's eyes, not wanting to look away from those almost soft eyes.

 (Really, he did.)

 But Kazuya being this close to him was so distracting.

 His eyes had a mind of their own, looking at Kazuya's lips.

 He cleared his throat, looking up at Kazuya's eyes again. But from the knowing smirk on his face, he knew Kazuya had noticed his reaction. "Kazuya, I..."

 "I know."

 He blinked a few times. "Eh?"

 "I know." Kazuya gave him a grin before leaning in and kissing him, causing his eyes to widen.

 Did Kazuya know him that well?

 Deciding to think about it later, Eijun wrapped his arms around him, responding eagerly to the kiss.

 Kazuya grinned into the kiss, obviously finding his reaction funny, almost causing him to huff.

 But any thoughts of huffing or Kazuya finding his reaction funny disappeared at Kazuya licking his lower lip, causing him to let out a surprised sound despite himself.

 When Kazuya did it again, he parted his lips, allowing his tongue inside his mouth.

 Kazuya's tongue darted forward into his mouth, exploring it for a couple of moments before touching his tongue, causing him to moan.

 Kazuya obviously liked his reaction, as he touched his tongue again, tightening his grip around him when he moaned louder.

 Someone could walk in at any moment and find them kissing.

 But Eijun didn't care.

 He didn't want Kazuya to stop kissing him.

 All he could concentrate on were his soft lips and the warm body above his own.

 And of course, the feeling of being so complete.

 He enjoyed it so much that when Kazuya pulled away a few moments later, he pulled him back in, almost grinning at Kazuya's surprised sound as their lips met again.

 He tightened his grip around him, tongue darting out to lick his lower lip.

 Much to his disappointment, Kazuya didn't let him in, causing him to whine.

 Eijun whined again, licking his lower lip again, belatedly registering a familiar sound.

 Not that the sound was as important as kissing Kazuya.

 And he probably would've ignored it and continued kissing him.

 If it weren't for a familiar voice.

 "What the hell?"

 They froze, Kazuya quickly pulling away and looking in the direction where the voice came from.

 To Eijun's horror, Kuramochi-senpai stood next to his bed, his eyes narrowed.

 "K-Kuramochi-senpai, this is..."

 Kazuya grinned at Kuramochi-senpai, not looking worried. Or maybe his poker face was hiding it? "Kuramochi, I didn't hear you come in. I was too busy giving Eijun here attention." He leaned in, kissing Eijun's cheek while keeping his eyes on Kuramochi, causing Eijun's cheeks to flush. "He missed me a lot today."

 Kuramochi-senpai clicked his tongue, looking irritated. "Seriously, Miyuki? You were kissing him while the door was unlocked? What if someone else had come in?"

 "But that's what makes it fun." Kazuya's grin widened. He laughed as Kuramochi-senpai glowered at him. "You're right, of course. We'll do better next time." He looked at Eijun, a teasing grin on his face. "Won't we, Eijun?"

 Eijun's cheeks turned pinker. "N-Next time?"

 Was Kazuya not worried at all about Kuramochi-senpai finding out about them?

 Kuramochi-senpai huffed, still glowering at Kazuya. "There won't be a next time if I have any say about it."

 Kazuya laughed again, kissing Eijun's cheek one more time before moving off him and out of bed. "So scary. I didn't know you cared this much," he teased.

 "Shut up!"

 Kazuya shook his head, looking amused before looking at Eijun. "Well, since Kuramochi's back, I'll get going. Good night." He winked at Eijun and at Kuramochi-senpai, causing Kuramochi-senpai to click his tongue again.

 And then, Kazuya left, closing the door behind him with one last wink.

 Eijun sat up on his bed, looking nervously at Kuramochi-senpai.

 What was he supposed to do now?

 "Are you sure about this?"

 Eijun blinked a few times. "Eh?"

 To his surprise, Kuramochi-senpai... didn't look angry with him.

 "Are you sure about this relationship with Miyuki, Sawamura?" Kuramochi-senpai gave him a serious look.

 He furrowed his eyebrows. "Do you mean because he's the main catcher?"

 Kuramochi-senpai rolled his eyes. "That's not what I mean. I just..." He huffed. "You know as well as I do what kind of person Miyuki can be. I just want to make sure you've thought this through."

 ... Not only was Kuramochi-senpai not angry with him, but he... was also looking out for him?

 Was something wrong with him?

 But even if something wasn't wrong with him, he...

 Eijun felt warmth in his chest at the thought of Kuramochi-senpai looking out for him. "I'm sure, Kuramochi-senpai." He gave him a bright smile. "I love Kazuya, and I'm willing to do anything for him."

 Kuramochi-senpai stared at him, as if he were trying to see how serious he was.

 He hoped Kuramochi-senpai could tell he was serious about this.

 Serious about Kazuya.

 "I see. Then that's alright."

 Eijun blinked a few times before beaming. "Eh? It is? You're... alright with us being together?"

 "I wouldn't say I'm entirely pleased you two are together." Kuramochi-senpai huffed before sighing. "But you seem serious about this." He clicked his tongue. "About him."

 Eijun nodded, feeling relieved. "I am! Thank you very much, Kuramochi-senpai!"

 "But..." Kuramochi-senpai glowered at him, causing him to almost gulp. "Don't do anything on my bed. Or you and Miyuki will regret it."

 He nodded a few times. "We won't, senpai, I promise!"

 Kuramochi-senpai huffed again before turning around and walking to his desk, causing him to breathe a sigh of relief.

 Kuramochi-senpai was so scary sometimes.

 But he felt relieved Kuramochi-senpai realized how serious he was about Kazuya and their relationship.

 (Did that mean Kuramochi-senpai wouldn't tell anyone about their relationship?)

 He furrowed his eyebrows.

 What did Kuramochi-senpai mean when he wanted to know if he had thought this relationship with Kazuya through?

 Well, he supposed Kuramochi-senpai had a point, especially if he remembered how love could affect people in his shoujo manga.

 But he would be alright.

 He loved Kazuya.

 And he was willing to do anything for him.

 As long as it meant they were still together.

  He's been dating Kazuya for several weeks now and every moment of it was pure bliss

 He was in euphoria and was savoring the feeling of completeness

 The fullness Kazuya makes him feel

 But it somehow felt wrong. 

 He didn't know when it started to feel this way

 Eijun gave and gave everything and anything to Kazuya but Kazuya never gave anything in return

 No.. Kazuya did give back, but it always felt like it wasn't for him

 It felt like Kazuya's heart belonged to someone else

 Even when he was settled on his bed with his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around his waist as he gets peppered with light kisses, it just felt so wrong

 So different 

 It felt like it was meant for someone else

 Someone who wasn’t him. 

 Of course, he just shrugged it off

 After all, he was Kazuya's boyfriend

 He was the one who Kazuya was dating

 Kazuya did accept his confession that night

 (It felt like a dream and even now Eijun still can't believe his accidental confession was accepted)

 Thinking about that night made Eijun's blood rush to his face

 “Kazuya,” Eijun turned his face to look at the catcher 

 “Hm?”  

 “I love you” 

 “...Yeah, thanks” Was all the catcher replied before returning his lips to his neck

 Come to think of it... Kazuya has never told him he likes him in return, has he?

 Even when he confessed, Kazuya never said he liked him back did he?

 Does Kazuya really feel the same way?

 Of course he does,

 They were dating after all.

 Kazuya does love him

 His boyfriend just needs... time before he could be honest

 Kazuya was a very private person after all

 He's just being ridiculously insecure  

  ...Right?

---

From: Kazuya💕✨

Subject: I can't make it

Sorry Eijun, something came up again and I can't make it. I'll make it up to you next time

 Eijun reread the message displayed on his phone screen again and sighed for the nth time in a row.  

 Kazuya couldn't make it to their date, again.

 It was already the third time he had seen the exact same mail from his boyfriend,

 And it's always "something came up" so he can't make it.

 Which was weird, really weird, considering how much of a planner Kazuya is.

 What could possibly happen for him to lay off his plans?

   Their plans? 

  Not that he was doubting Kazuya, of course. 

  Maybe a team member really just needed his help, or starting catcher duties, 

  Or it might even be family matters. 

  But he'd been really looking forward to this date with Kazuya. 

  While they do see each other on a daily basis in practice, lately Eijun could feel like there was... something in between them,

  Something he can't quite put a finger on.

  (Their relationship hasn't changed at all though, Eijun knew he was just probably being uselessly paranoid) 

  So, he had hoped this date would clear whatever was between them, or, at least, rid of his unfounded insecurities.

  But it looks like that wasn't possible now.

  Unconsciously, he let out another sigh. 

  "Seriously, can you stop sighing already?" A voice he barely registered familiar grumbled from his side. 

  Eijun turned his head and his eyes immediately widened at seeing familiar platinum blonde hair and icy blue eyes staring right back at him.  

  "N-NARUMYA MEI!" He pointed a finger at the said ace pitcher as his jaw dropped, stuttering in surprised. 

  "You're that brat from Seidou, and it's Narumiya-senpai to you." He paused for a moment and looked at Eijun as if he were... studying him?  

 Narumiya was studying him? Why? 

  "So? What are you doing here?" The blonde gave him an awfully familiar unreadable look "Waiting for a date?" 

  "No, I'm just about to lea— why the hell do you even care?!?" 

  Seriously, what was with this guy? Prying into someone else's business like that...

 And technically he was about to leave, seeing his date couldn't make it

  He turned away, about to leave when Narumiya opened his lips again, about to speak

  "Hmm” He hummed and placed a finger on his chin as if trying to assess the situation “Kazuya bailed on your date, didn’t he?" 

  Eijun whipped his head towards the blonde and immediately tried to defend his boyfriend by reflex "Something just came up! He didn't bail on anything!" 

  How did Narumiya even know it was Kazuya he was waiting for? 

  Even his own teammates (save for Kuramochi-senpai) and friends didn't even know 

  So how did an outsider of all people know— 

  "So It is Kazuya you were waiting for!"  

 For a split second he thought saw Narumiya scowl at him before it was quickly replaced by a triumphant smirk 

 Was he seeing things...? 

 He scanned the blonde’s face again, seeing no signs of a scowl on the latter’s face 

 He was sure he saw Narumiya scowl 

 Why would he though? 

 (He was sure he didn’t say anything rude or unusual (not that he was planning to though, he’s just aware he has a history of doing so) to receive such a thing) 

 Eijun decided to shrug it off, thinking it was just his eyes playing tricks on him and returned his attention back to what Narumiya was saying 

 “You guys are dating, aren’t you?” 

 “N-No! I mean—” He immediately tried to defend again 

 Wait— Narumiya didn't know?

 But he just said—

  Oh.

 The blonde had tricked him into admitting it.

 He can’t believe he fell for that and gave it away 

 Mentally scolding himself, he tried to come up with some sort of excuse but the blonde waved a finger, eyes glinting mischievously “No use making excuses, You're a terrible liar.”  

 Eijun reluctantly nodded with a sigh to which Narumiya grinned triumphantly, eyeing him once again

 “You’re free now though, right?”  

 “Huh? Well yeah I guess... wait why are you even—” 

 Eijun raised a brow at the question 

 Why was he asking? 

 It’s none of his business anyways whether or not he was free 

 “Let’s go on a date then! ♡” the blonde grinned 

 He looked at Narumiya in disbelief “Excuse me?” 

 Was he... serious? 

 A date? 

 With him, an enemy?

 Even after he just found out he was dating Kazuya? 

 What was this guy thinking? 

 “I said, let’s go on a date right now” Narumiya repeated, pronouncing each syllable slowly “If you still didn't understand that then there must be something wrong with your ears” 

 No, he heard that, alright.

 (His ears are perfectly fine, thank you very much.)

 But a date?

 He remained staring at the blonde agape

 He suddenly felt his arm getting tugged and looked down to see Narumiya's arm curled around his, trying to pull him  

 “Well, you’re paying for your own food though!” 

 “Haah?! I didn’t even say yes—” 

 “Kidding! C’mon I’ll pay for your food!” 

 The blonde suddenly pulled him with so much force that Eijun nearly lost balance and fall but Narumiya proceeded to tug on his arm and pull him wherever

 “Hold on!” 

 Despite his protests the blonde didn’t listen but weirdly enough, he found himself letting Narumiya drag him around 

 Well, a single ‘date’ wouldn’t hurt, would it? 

 There's nothing between them anyways,

 Just a friendly date

---

Eijun didn't know how he got into these situations.

 ... Okay, so he knew a little bit.

 As he wouldn't be out here in the first place if Kazuya didn't promise to go out on a date with him.

 But Kazuya texted him, letting him know he couldn't make it.

 And that something came up.

 (That had been happening a lot lately.)

 But hanging out with Narumiya Mei (of all people) just because Kazuya couldn't make it?

 Narumiya was the enemy.

 Was he that starved for attention?

 (He didn't think he was, but he was hanging out with him. And if he were honest, the last time they had a... 'date', it wasn't that unpleasant.)

 They were at the same café Narumiya had taken him to for their last 'date'.

 It seemed Narumiya was a regular here.

 Narumiya had joked it was a perfect spot for dates, and he had even winked at him.

 Which he didn't understand.

 Was Narumiya saying he should take Kazuya here?

 Or was he saying something else?

 (And why did he wink at him? Was something wrong with him?)

 "What do you like about Kazuya, Ei-chan?"

 Eijun almost choked on his drink, although he wasn't sure if it was because of the question about Kazuya or the nickname. "Eh?"

 Narumiya gave him an amused look. "What do you like about Kazuya?"

 "No... I heard that." Eijun furrowed his eyebrows, causing Narumiya to raise an eyebrow. "Why are you calling me 'Ei-chan'?"

 Narumiya grinned cheekily at him. "It's a cute nickname, isn't it?"

 "That's not the point! We're not that close!"

 Narumiya sipped his drink. "It's just a nickname." He smirked. "Unless you'd rather me call you 'Eijun'? Does Kazuya do that?"

 Eijun huffed. "Fine, whatever! You can keep calling me 'Ei-chan'! It's a nickname I'm used to anyway!"

 "I'm happy to hear that, Ei-chan. It's really the perfect nickname for a cute guy like you." Narumiya winked at him.

 (Again with the winking. Seriously, was something wrong with him?)

 Eijun resisted the urge to huff again. "Why are you asking me about my relationship with Kazuya?"

 Narumiya gave him an unreadable look, causing him to stare as it resembled the one Kazuya gave him sometimes. "I'm just curious." He shrugged, sipping his drink again. "You must really like him to put up with his treatment of you. That or you're just stupid."

 "What did you say? Don't call me stupid!"

 Narumiya gave him a scrutinizing look. "Do you really like Kazuya that much? He didn't even show up to you guys' date."

 He wasn't sure why, but he almost gulped at the way Narumiya looked at him, as if Narumiya was trying to figure out all his secrets. "I... I told you! Something came up! Who are you to judge my relationship—"

 "I'm not judging you or your relationship with Kazuya." Narumiya rolled his eyes at his huff. "And I am older than you. You should treat me with more respect."

 Narumiya was so annoying sometimes.

 And yet, sometimes, he reminded him of Kazuya.

 Eijun didn't know what it was exactly.

 But both enjoyed teasing him.

 And both had amazing poker faces at times.

 And while Kazuya had stopped annoying him about showing him respect ever since they started dating (at least in private), the way Narumiya tried to get him to show him respect was just like what Kazuya used to do.

 Eijun scowled, tempted to cross his arms in front of his chest. "My relationship with Kazuya has nothing to do with you! I'm happy with him!"

 "You are, huh?" Narumiya's eyebrows furrowed. "Why do you stay with him when you could be with someone who will treat you better?" He winked again, gesturing to himself.

 Why did Narumiya gesture toward himself?

 It wasn't as if he were ignoring him.

 Narumiya didn't need to tell him to look at him while they were talking.

 This guy was so weird sometimes.

 Eijun's scowl remained on his face. "You wouldn't understand."

 "Oh, really?" Narumiya drawled, leaning in closer and raising an eyebrow, causing him to stare as he remembered multiple times when Kazuya had done the same exact thing. "Try me."

 Eijun tried to speak.

 (Really, he did.)

 But for some reason, he found it difficult to speak with those dark blue eyes watching him, an almost dangerous gleam in them.

 He cleared his throat, tempted to look away. "I..." He looked down at his cup, his eyes softening, missing the way those dark blue eyes seemed to darken even more. "I love him." He looked up at him, smiling softly. "Kazuya may have let me down a lot, but I know something important must have come up."

 "And you're going to forgive him? Just like that?" Narumiya scoffed.

 He furrowed his eyebrows. "Kazuya can't help it if something important came up. He's busy."

 Narumiya clicked his tongue. "Busy enough not to meet up with you? You're his boyfriend!"

 ... It hurt.

 Narumiya's words hurt him.

 Not because Narumiya was insulting Kazuya, although that was part of the reason.

 But because... it was the truth.

 What could be more important than one of their dates?

 And yet, Kazuya was the main catcher.

 Or maybe something happened with his family?

 "I don't like it either. But I can't be selfish if he's busy." Eijun smiled softly again, causing Narumiya to make a face. "I'm willing to do anything for him. I love him."

 Narumiya pursed his lips, scowling for some reason. "He really doesn't deserve you." When Eijun glared at him, he grinned cheekily, gesturing toward himself. "I could probably treat you better than Kazuya ever could."

 Eijun blinked a few times. "But I'm not dating you. I'm dating Kazuya."

 Why would Narumiya even say something like that?

 Sure, Kazuya wasn't the best boyfriend.

 But he still loved him.

 They were making their relationship work.

 And he... was happy.

 Narumiya pouted for some reason before giving him another cheeky grin. "Maybe I should give you my number in case this kind of thing happens again."

 "It won't. And I wouldn't call you even if you did give me your number." Eijun huffed.

 Narumiya's grin remained on his face. "You know you want to see me again, Ei-chan." He puffed his chest out. "Especially someone as handsome as me."

 Eijun furrowed his eyebrows. "What does that have to do with anything? You're still the enemy."

 "But we can become friends." Narumiya leaned closer, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "Or more."

 Eijun snorted, picking up his drink. "You becoming one of my best friends? Like that will ever happen."

 Narumiya leaned back in his seat, pouting.

 He could've sworn he had seen a frustrated look on his face at one point.

 But that was probably just his imagination.

 He didn't know Narumiya that well.

 And why would Narumiya feel frustrated?

 It made no sense.

---

Eijun tried not to think about any negative thoughts when he was with Kazuya.

 He was enjoying his relationship with him so much.

 He didn't want to let those thoughts overshadow his relationship with him.

 The only thing he wanted was to enjoy his current relationship with him.

 He wasn't good when it came to thinking deeply about something anyway.

 So what if Kazuya hadn't told him his feelings for him yet?

 So what if it felt wrong somehow?

 He loved Kazuya, and he was willing to wait for him.

 Kazuya was still dating him after all.

 He could be patient.

 And maybe he was being selfish, but he wanted... more with Kazuya.

 So he leaned in, kissing Kazuya on the lips, Kazuya responding a moment later.

 He kissed him with his lips for a few moments before licking his lower lip, almost grinning when Kazuya parted his lips.

 His tongue darted into his mouth, Kazuya moaning and tightening his grip around him when their tongues touched.

 They pulled away several moments later, breathing heavily.

 Not wanting to stop, Eijun pulled him back in, letting out a pleased sound as Kazuya pulled him closer.

 This time, Kazuya's tongue darted into his mouth, Eijun moaning and tightening his grip around him when their tongues touched.

 Eijun pulled away a few moments later, peppering Kazuya's face with kisses, causing Kazuya to laugh.

 "I want to see you." Kazuya tugged on the bottom of his shirt, as if letting him know what he was trying to say.

 Eijun flushed, but he pulled away, taking his shirt off, not missing the way Kazuya's eyes lit up.

 Was that reaction really for him?

 He mentally shook his head, pushing that thought away.

 Of course it was for him.

 What was he thinking?

 Kazuya didn't touch him again, studying his bare chest and stomach, as if he had never seen it before.

 It wasn't... bad.

 The way Kazuya was staring at him.

 (Maybe even liking what he saw?)

 Kazuya wrapped his arms around his waist again, his warm fingers touching his bare skin almost making him gasp.

 "You look good. Really good."

 Before he could reply, Kazuya leaned in, kissing his neck, causing him to gasp despite himself.

 He moaned as Kazuya started placing kisses up and down his neck, Kazuya's laugh against his skin making goosebumps form.

 He gasped again as Kazuya touched his nipples, moaning when Kazuya started pinching it. "Kazuya!"

 "Does that feel good?" Kazuya pulled away, his eyes darkened with lust.

 Eijun didn't want to admit that it did feel good.

 And that he didn't want Kazuya to stop.

 So instead of admitting it, he leaned in, kissing him, almost grinning when Kazuya responded eagerly to it.

 Eijun pulled away a few moments later, grinning at Kazuya's protesting sound before leaning back in, giving him such a long and hard kiss that it made Kazuya moan.

 This time, Kazuya pulled away a few moments later, letting go of him to take his shirt off.

 It certainly wasn't his first time seeing Kazuya shirtless.

 But usually, other people were around.

 And they were usually bathing or changing clothes.

 Having a shirtless Kazuya this close to him in his room without any other people around...

 It made him want more.

 Eijun leaned in, kissing his neck, causing Kazuya to hum and tilt his head, giving him better access.

 He grinned against his neck, loving how Kazuya was letting him do this, placing kisses up and down his neck.

 Kazuya moaned when he touched his nipples, tightening his grip around him.

 Eijun pinched his nipples, starting to place gentle kisses up and down his chest, gasping when Kazuya pulled him on top of him.

 He pulled away enough to look him in the eyes, grinning devilishly. "Does that feel good, Kazuya?" Keeping his eyes on him, he leaned back in, nipping his ear, causing Kazuya to cry out.

 "Hiro!"

 Eijun froze, feeling Kazuya tense under him, causing him to pull away and look at him.

 He looked at Kazuya for an explanation, but Kazuya wasn't looking at him. "'Hiro'? Who's that?"

 Because he wasn't that stupid.

 He knew this 'Hiro-san' had to be a person.

 Why did Kazuya call their name out?

 (Instead of his.)

 Kazuya finally looked back at him several moments later, giving him an almost... apologetic look. "I didn't mean to..."

 Kazuya was dating him.

 He should be calling out his name.

 Not this 'Hiro-san'.

 Eijun remembered what he had been thinking about earlier.

 How he had felt like Kazuya's touches were for someone else.

 How... it had felt wrong.

 "Kazuya, who's that?" His heart raced as he waited for Kazuya's answer.

 What was he supposed to do if Kazuya told him he was going to break up with him for this 'Hiro-san'?

 He didn't want that!

 This feeling of being complete...

 It would go away if Kazuya broke up with him.

 Kazuya's almost apologetic look disappeared, leaving a cool one in its place. "That's none of your business."

 Eijun almost winced at his cool look.

 Maybe he shouldn't have asked?

 But he didn't care about that.

 He wanted to make sure Kazuya wouldn't break up with him.

 That came first.

 "Then I don't have to know."

 Kazuya blinked a few times, clearly not expecting that. "What do you...?"

 "You can think of me as this 'Hiro-san'." Eijun tried to smile at him, hoping Kazuya couldn't tell how scared he was.

 But instead of looking reassured, Kazuya furrowed his eyebrows. "But you..."

 Eijun smiled, and this time it was more genuine. "I really don't mind. You can think of me as your 'Hiro-san'."

 Kazuya gave him an unreadable look. "Are you sure? Because we can end this—"

 "No!"

 Kazuya winced at his loud voice, furrowing his eyebrows again. "No?"

 "We don't have to break up." Eijun tried not to sound scared or desperate. "It's alright with me. As long as..." He took a deep breath. "As long as I'm yours."

 Kazuya gave him another unreadable look. "And you're alright with this?" he asked slowly.

 Eijun nodded a few times. "I'm happy with our current relationship. So you can..." He tried to smile again. "You can think of me as your 'Hiro-san'."

 "I see. Then if you're alright with it, I guess we don't have to break up."

 Eijun almost breathed a sigh of relief.

 They weren't going to break up.

 Kazuya would still be his.

 He'll still be able to feel complete.

 Sure, he wanted Kazuya to look at him and only him.

 But he couldn't force Kazuya to return his feelings.

 (Especially when Kazuya was thinking of someone else.)

 And he was still dating Kazuya.

 As long as Kazuya was his, that was enough.

 That was enough for him.

 Because he didn't want to think about Kazuya leaving him and having to feel so incomplete.

---

It was wrong. 

 Eijun knew it was all so wrong.  

 Agreeing to let his boyfriend think of him as someone else, 

 As this “Hiro-san’, and not as him, Sawamura Eijun, his lover  

 It was wrong. 

 He knew he shouldn’t be doing this; He was Kazuya’s boyfriend, his lover, his partner.  

 He wanted Kazuya to look only at him,  

 To think only about him 

 But the moment he heard Kazuya call out someone else’s name, he felt his entire world get shaken up 

 All this time... Kazuya had loved someone else 

 Someone who isn’t him.  

 Kazuya’s heart didn’t belong to him 

 It was never his. 

 Why did Kazuya even accept his confession? Agree to go out with him? 

 Did Kazuya ever truly... like him? 

 Was this why not once he had told Eijun those three words he’d been dying to hear? 

 What about the times when he teased Eijun with those tempting lips? 

 Those soft, loving looks he would give Eijun from time to time? 

 The times he told Eijun he was really glad to hear Eijun admit he made him happy? 

 Was all of those a lie...? 

 (Deep inside he had hoped those were truly for him and him only even when he knew it was all for someone else) 

 Maybe this was why he had been feeling there was something different between their relationship, 

 Why he had felt that all those kisses were not for him 

 Because it really wasn’t, 

 It was all for this ‘Hiro-san’ Kazuya had called out. 

 It was wrong but... 

 The feeling of completeness... 

 He didn’t want to lose it; he didn’t want it to go away. 

 And he loved Kazuya, 

 He was willing to do anything and everything just for him. 

 Even when his boyfriend breathily whispered “Hiro” in between their kisses, 

 Even when he would watch how his boyfriend closed his eyes as he kissed down his neck, softly moaning “Hiro” over and over again, 

 It was fine, 

 Eijun was just fine.  

 (Sure, he spent several sleepless nights at first but he eventually got over it and learned to accept reality) 

 They were still dating, and the feeling of being so complete was still there, 

 Kazuya was still his, 

 And that was enough for him 

 He suddenly felt warm lips against his own, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

 He immediately responded to the kiss yet all his doubts were still lingering at the back of his mind. 

 “What’s got you distracted?” Kazuya breathed out once their lips separated 

 Eijun shook his head in response “It’s nothing, sorry.” 

 Eijun didn’t want to lie to Kazuya, 

 But he can’t tell him either that he was thinking about how wrong it all is,  

 How unfair it feels. 

 But he was the one who suggested it in the first place, he had no right to complain. 

 Kazuya stared at him for what felt like hours and Eijun thought he’d try to get him tell the truth, which, thankfully, he didn’t and proceeded to connect their lips together once again 

 The catcher licked his bottom lip, asking for access which Eijun granted. He felt Kazuya’s tongue explore the inside of his mouth for a while before it touched his own, making him moan. 

 Their tongues danced with other and while Eijun would normally give in to pleasure, 

 He couldn’t. 

 Not when thoughts of how Kazuya called out someone else’s name instead of his flooded his mind 

 Was this how ‘Hiro-san’ would kiss him? 

 Was this how ‘Hiro-san’ would act? 

 Was he doing it right? 

 Being ‘Hiro-san’ for Kazuya... 

  Was he doing it all right? 

---

From: Narumiya Mei

Subject: Let’s go on another date!

Are you free tomorrow, Ei-chan? Let’s go on another date if you are! ♡

  To: Narumiya Mei

Subject: Sure

Sure, it’s our off day tomorrow. What time?

  From: Narumiya Mei

Subject: Are you serious?

Eh? Wait really?

  To: Narumiya Mei

Subject: None

Do you want to go or not?

  From: Narumiya Mei

Subject: Let’s go!

I do I do!!! I was just surprised you agreed so easily. 10:30 at the bus stop near Seidou.

 He didn’t know what he was thinking when he found himself agreeing when Narumiya had asked if they could go on another one of their ‘dates’ again 

 Narumiya was their enemy   

 And he really shouldn’t be hanging out with him especially right before the start of the summer tournament 

 (If Kazuya had showed up to their dates in the first place, he wouldn’t have been dragged into 'dates’ by the blonde more than twice and wouldn’t have even exchanged contacts with the ace pitcher) 

 But even so... if he was being honest, hanging out with Narumiya had been fun 

 And really, it served as a good distraction, especially with all that’s going on with Kazuya... 

 Sure, he was too arrogant and haughty, 

 He kept asking Eijun about his relationship with Kazuya which he found irritating, 

  He'd often gesture to himself and try to touch him, or his hand at least, which was really weird, 

 (And there was all that random winking. Seriously, were his eyelids alright ?) 

 And there were moments where he’d remind Eijun of Kazuya, 

 But after spending a bit more time with him ever since their first ‘date’ 

 He found Narumiya... slightly likable, just slightly. 

 There would be moments were Narumiya was actually... sweet 

 Caring even. 

 Which, weirded him out every time, 

 He never expected that the Narumiya Mei had such a soft side to him, especially with how much he declares himself as the king. 

 “Ei-chan!”  

 He turned to see Narumiya making his way to him. The blonde was wearing a black top over a black and red gingham shirt paired with ripped denim jeans and maroon red sneakers. 

  "Sorry, were you waiting long?" He panted, trying to catch his breath after rushing all the way to him 

  Did Narumiya just... apologize?  

  He didn't even think the word 'sorry' existed in the blonde's dictionary 

  And why was he even in a rush? He's exactly right on time. 

  Was this even the real Narumiya Mei?  

  Maybe it's just an imposter trying to trick him... 

  The Mei he knows, or at least, have heard about was not someone who would not apologize at all 

   (Maybe even say he should be grateful he gave some of his precious time to him) 

  Eijun suddenly realized he'd been lost in thought and hadn't answered when he noticed the concerned look Narumiya had 

  "It's fine, I just got here myself" he smiled. 

  For some reason Narumiya turned away and Eijun noticed his ears were red, probably from all the running 

 “A-anyways!”Narumiya turned back to him again, clearing his throat in the process, “There’s this new café not too far from here! Let’s go!” 

 “A new café?” He tilted his head slightly as he asked 

 “Mhm” Narumiya hummed agreeingly “I heard it has a great romantic atmosphere as well” He turned his head to wink at him 

 A romantic atmosphere? 

 Why did Narumiya tell him that? 

 (And there’s that wink again! Why does he keep doing that?) 

 They made their way to the café, holding small talk along the way 

 At some point Narumiya had even joked about how “There’s other guys who can treat you much better than Kazuya does!! Just look around you!” as he gestured to himself for some weird reason he doesn’t know 

 Seriously, what was Narumiya even trying to say? 

 He doesn’t get it. 

 Before he knew it, they’d already arrive at the café. It wasn’t that far from Seidou and was only a few minutes' walk from the bus stop. 

 Narumiya eagerly walked ahead him, opening the door first only to freeze on the spot. 

 ...What happened to him? 

 Why did he suddenly stop? 

 Curiously, he glanced over the blonde’s shoulder, following Narumiya’s eyes to the counter where an eerily familiar bespectacled brunette had his lips interlocked with the barista over the counter 

 That hair... that pair of glasses... 

 Eijun felt his heart stop as realization hit him 

 Was... was that Kazuya...? 

 Narumiya turned to him, eyes widened with emotions he couldn’t understand “Isn’t that Kazuya...?” 

 “Oh.” he stared blanky “It is Kazuya.” 

 His eyes drifted downwards to the barista’s chest, his nametag hanging from the straps of his apron 

 ‘Nakamura Hiro’ 

  Ah.  

 So that’s it, 

 He’s ‘Hiro-san’. 

 The guy who Kazuya loves. 

 The guy his boyfriend loves. 

 He turned around, about to leave when a hand suddenly grabbed his arm 

 “You’re just going to leave?!” Narumiya hissed; his blue eyes frighteningly dark “Your boyfriend is literally kissing someone else and you’re just going to leave?” 

 Why was Narumiya so upset...? 

 Sure, to others, it might be pretty alarming. 

 But it’s Kazuya and his ‘Hiro-san’ 

 He had no right to interfere. 

 He placed his hand on top of the blonde’s, trying to calm him down, and gave him a reassuring smile “Yeah? It’s fine y’know.”  

 “Fine?! How is that fine?!” 

 “...Because it is, Kazuya loves ‘Hiro-san’, I knew that already.” Eijun hoped Narumiya wouldn’t notice how his voice slightly trembled  

 Narumiya gaped at him for a moment as he tried to process what he had just said “You knew Kazuya liked someone else and you’re still dating him?!?” He suddenly felt the grip around his arm tightening and for a moment Eijun thought it might leave a bruise “How are you fine with that?!?” 

 “Because I love him.” 

 It wasn’t a lie. 

 It hurt, but it wasn’t a lie. 

 He loved Kazuya. 

 As long as they’re together then he’s fine, 

 He’s fine even if Kazuya loved someone else. 

 “I love him so it’s fine—”     

Narumiya suddenly pulled his arm causing Eijun to yelp in surprise, and proceeded to drag them somewhere more private, away from the café. 

 “Stop lying to yourself!” Narumiya roared making him wince at the sudden volume “You’re not fine! There’s no way you’re just fine!”  

 “I’m not—” He felt something wet dripping down his cheek. 

 Was these... tears?  

 “See?” Narumiya’s voice sounded so pained and so full of pity “You’re not okay...” 

 In a blink of an eye, he felt strong, slender hands around him, hugging him comfortingly. His vision blurred with tears. 

 He felt his throat tighten as tears streamed down his face but even so, Eijun still tried to convince himself with the same lie over and over again,

  That he was just fine.

 “Leave him.” Narumiya suddenly spoke in a demanding tone “Leave him already.” 

 Eijun immediately pushed the blonde way “NO!” 

 “Why?! You’re just hurting yourself!”     

Narumiya’s dark eyes darkened even more 

 “Because it’ll hurt more if Kazuya leaves me” 

 The feeling of completeness, 

 It’ll be gone if Kazuya leaves him. 

 And never did Eijun want to feel empty ever again. 

 It was wrong, 

 But he was fine with that. 

 It was like a rose with thorns, 

 Loving Kazuya was beautiful... 

 ...Even if it hurts. 

 “As long as Kazuya’s still mine, it’s fine.” Eijun answered sharply 

---

Eijun... wasn't doing well.

 The summer tournament finals loss was a bitter pill to swallow.

 Especially when he knew it was his fault they lost.

 No one outwardly blamed him or even looked at him as if they did, but he could tell they did.

 It was in the way everyone made pointed comments about the loss, especially around him...

 Especially the comments about how they had gotten so close...

 And they had.

 They were one out away from Koushien.

 One out away from getting their revenge against Inashiro.

 And he had blown it.

 None of his senpai had scolded him, but they also didn't tell him it wasn't his fault.

 And while that was a bitter pill to swallow, he had accepted that it was his fault they lost.

 And felt determined to learn from it.

 (As far as he was concerned, everyone blaming him for the loss was a good thing. They easily could've tried to reassure him and tell him it wasn't his fault. That he was only a first year and couldn't help it. And that would've made him feel worse. Like... they didn't trust him enough.)

 His pitching wasn't the best after the summer tournament finals, but he could still pitch.

 And that was the most important thing.

 Unlike now.

 He had the yips.

 He understood everyone wanted to get stronger and join the first string.

 He really did.

 But his baseball career could be ending, and it seemed like none of them... cared.

 His teammates hadn't approached him.

 Or said any kind words.

 As if they were... enjoying his rare silence.

 (Was he really that annoying?)

 It was at times like this when he felt grateful for his relationship with Kazuya.

 Sure, it still wasn't the most ideal relationship.

 (The image of Kazuya kissing Hiro-san never seemed to leave his mind no matter how many times he tried not to think about it.)

 But they were still together.

 And even if Kazuya didn't love him back, he still cared about him.

 Of course, he didn't know how much Kazuya cared about him.

 But at least they were still together.

 That was what was important.

 ... Or so he thought.

 Even since he had gotten the yips, he started doubting everything.

 His worth as a pitcher.

 (Which wasn't much right now. He was painfully aware of that.)

 His standing on the team.

 If he could pitch again.

 If he could pitch to the inside again.

 And... his relationship with Kazuya.

 He didn't mean to, of course.

 He loved that Kazuya was still his.

 Loved that they were still together even though Kazuya loved someone else.

 He still felt complete.

 But lately, he couldn't help but wonder why Kazuya was with him.

 Baseball was important to both of them.

 But he hadn't pitched in a while.

 Kazuya hadn't caught his pitches in a while.

 And he understood Kazuya was busy with his captain and main catcher duties.

 But he was an useless pitcher.

 Before, he could somewhat pitch.

 But now...

 Why was Kazuya still with him?

 Was Kazuya still dating him because he... felt sorry for him?

 He shook his head.

 He was the one who told Kazuya that he could think of him as Hiro-san.

 That wasn't Kazuya feeling sorry for him.

 But that was before he had the yips.

 He didn't know what Hiro-san was like.

 (Even though he had been trying to act like him whenever they were together.)

 But he didn't think Hiro-san was this... gloomy.

 This quiet.

 He had tried to apologize to Kazuya, but Kazuya (for some reason) told him it was alright.

 If this were before he had learned Kazuya loved someone else, he might've felt relieved.

 And his chest would've felt warm.

 But that soft look Kazuya gave him...

 That was for Hiro-san.

 Not him.

 Why was Kazuya still with him when he wasn't acting like Hiro-san anymore?

 He hated the thought of it, but...

 Why hadn't Kazuya dumped him for Hiro-san yet?

 (He never wanted Kazuya to dump him. He loved feeling complete. But...)

 Hiro-san seemed to feel the same as him.

 So why?

 Of course, he felt relieved and happy Kazuya hadn't dumped him for Hiro-san yet.

 But moments like this made him wonder.

 He sighed, clenching his fists.

 "What's wrong?"

 He gasped, eyes widening.

 He had completely forgotten he was currently with Kazuya, hanging out with him in his room.

 They had been cuddling on his bed.

 But from the way Kazuya sat up, frowning at him, he didn't think Kazuya wanted to cuddle anymore.

 (Again, it was his fault. Hiro-san would never pass up an opportunity to cuddle with Kazuya.)

 Eijun sat up, looking down at his hands.

 He wasn't sure what to say.

 (Something that had been occurring more often ever since he had gotten the yips.)

 "I..." He clenched his fists before relaxing his grip. He looked up at Kazuya, noticing his furrowed eyebrows. "It's... nothing. Sorry."

 Kazuya narrowed his eyes. "Don't lie to me. I know something's wrong. Tell me."

 "Why do you care?" he blurted.

 He froze, eyes widening as he belatedly realized what he said, noticing as Kazuya's eyes widened.

 What...?

 Why had he said that for?

 Before he could say anything, though, Kazuya furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you...? Of course I care."

 And it should've been alright after that.

 Maybe he could've gotten away with it by coming up with an excuse.

 If it weren't for him and his big mouth.

 "Why? I'm an useless pitcher."

 Kazuya gave him a warning look, but he didn't try to reassure him or protest it wasn't true.

 Eijun got up, standing next to his bed and looking down at Kazuya. "I haven't pitched in days. And you don't even care."

 "That's not true, and you know it," Kazuya protested. "I know it's frustrating not being able to pitch, but you should listen to Kantoku."

 Again.

 He had lost track of how many times he had tried to bring up his fears, doubts, and worries to Kazuya.

 And Kazuya... didn't even seem to listen.

 As if his fears, doubts, and worries... weren't important to Kazuya.

 He had thought Kazuya cared for him.

 (Even a little bit would be alright. He was still dating him after all.)

 But did Kazuya care at all?

 He clenched his fists. "I know I'm not Hiro-san even though I said you can think of me as him."

 Kazuya gave him that warning look from earlier.

 "And I'm alright with that. But I'm still your teammate." Eijun hated the way his voice sounded soft and hurt.

 Kazuya got up, standing next to him and raising his eyebrows. "What, so you think I don't care about you at all?"

 "It's the truth, isn't it?" Eijun clenched his fists even tighter. "You don't listen to me at all, and you don't seem to care whether I pitch again."

 Kazuya narrowed his eyes, stepping closer. "That's not true, and you know it. I—"

 "Then why won't you listen to me?" He closed his eyes briefly before giving him a pained look. "Would you listen to me if I were Hiro-san?"

 Kazuya glared at him. "Stop bringing up Hiro. That's none of your business."

 Eijun gave him another pained look. "Kazuya, I'm happy we're still together. But there's more to a relationship than kissing."

 "What do you...?"

 Kazuya wasn't the type to talk about his feelings.

 But Kazuya knew what kind of person he was.

 And he had hoped he could share his feelings with Kazuya.

 But Kazuya didn't care.

 Kazuya only cared about touching him and talking to him about baseball.

 (And Kazuya had barely talked to him about baseball ever since he had gotten the yips.)

 He sighed. "Feelings, Kazuya. You don't care about my feelings at all."

 "But you said you're alright with our relationship."

 He almost sighed again. "I am happy with our relationship. But you never want to listen to my feelings. Is this what you do with Hiro-san?"

 Kazuya glowered at him. "I told you not to bring up Hiro."

 Eijun wanted to reach out and touch his hand, but he wasn't sure if Kazuya would let him. "I'm not asking you to share your feelings with me. Although I would like it if you did. But..." He struggled to keep eye contact, especially with the way Kazuya glowered at him. "Is something wrong with telling you my feelings? Why can't you just listen to me silently? Hiro-san—"

 "Shut up! Stop bringing up Hiro!"

 But Eijun found he... couldn't stop speaking. "Do you even love Hiro-san? You don't care about his feelings at all? Hiro-san—"

 "I said shut up!" Kazuya roared, causing him to flinch. "Stop talking about Hiro like you know him!"

 He hated that Kazuya was getting this angry.

 And... he hated how Kazuya wasn't listening.

 He took a deep breath before reaching out for Kazuya's hand. "Kazuya, I..."

 But Kazuya stepped away from him, eyes cold. "You're not him."

 He froze, hand still outstretched. "Eh?"

 What did he just...?

 "You're not him."

 His heart dropped.

 It couldn't be...?

 He stepped closer, almost flinching again as Kazuya's eyes darkened. "K-Kazu—"

 "Shut up! You're not him, and you'll never be him!" Kazuya roared, causing him to flinch.

 Eijun's eyes widened in horror.

 What... had he done?

 Sure, he didn't like it how Kazuya loved Hiro-san.

 And sure, he didn't like it how he pretended to be someone he wasn't.

 (All for Kazuya. He loved Kazuya.)

 But he was... alright with their relationship.

 Because it meant Kazuya was still his.

 Because it meant... he still felt complete.

 His tongue felt like it was glued to his mouth.

 He couldn't say anything.

 "Forget it. We should've done this a long time ago."

 His eyes widened even more (if it were possible).

  Oh no.

 That did not sound good.

 Eijun stepped closer, his heart clenching at the way Kazuya's eyes darkened. "Kazuya, wait. I... didn't mean it. I'm—"

 To his horror, Kazuya stepped around him, making his way toward his door. "No. Clearly, I was the stupid one for believing this would work." He shook his head, stopping in front of the door. "What was I thinking?"

 ... Why did he say that in past tense?

 It was as if...

 His heart dropped at the realization.

 "Kazuya, wait! I'm sorry!" If Kuramochi-senpai were in the room, his jaw would've dropped as he practically flew across the room, clinging to Kazuya's shirt sleeve. "We can... We can still make this work!"

 Kazuya turned his head to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "How? You'd still be with someone who doesn't love you. And I'd still be with someone who isn't Hiro."

 His heart...

 His heart felt as if it were breaking.

 "I'll do better next time! I..." He hated the thought of it, but if it meant Kazuya wouldn't leave him... "Please, Kazuya! I'll... I'll be a better Hiro-san for you! Give me another chance!"

 But Kazuya shook his head, his eyes dark. "You're not him, and you'll never be him."

 Eijun felt tempted to grab the spot where his heart was. "Please, Kazuya! I—"

 "Shut up!" Kazuya roared, causing him to flinch and let go of him. "It's over! Why can't you realize that!"

 Kazuya opened the door, looking back at him. "I'll see you at practice, Sawamura."

 It was as if Kazuya had slapped him.

 Kazuya... Kazuya called him Sawamura...

 His family name...

 As if... they were back to the relationship they had before they started dating.

 "K-Kazu—"

 Kazuya glowered at him, and somehow, he looked angrier than before, causing him to shiver. "Don't call me Kazuya anymore! You have no right to call me that!" He gave him a warning look, a dangerous gleam in his eyes. "And you better not call me that tomorrow at practice or if we somehow see each other at school."

 And then, Kazuya left, not looking behind him even once.

 Eijun quickly chased after him, but he found himself... freezing right outside his door.

 So that was it?

 Kazuya... broke up with him?

 (Did Kazuya think he was annoying, too?)

 He really hadn't meant to say any of that.

 Sure, he wasn't totally happy with his relationship with Kazuya.

 But at least they were still together.

 Unlike now.

 Why had he let his doubts, fears, and worries bubble up like that?

 Kazuya...

 Kazuya had broken up with him.

 (And for good reason. Maybe Kazuya had gotten tired of him.)

 He trudged away from his dorm room, feeling numb.

 It was strange.

 He thought if Kazuya ever broke up with him, he would feel indescribable pain.

 Thought his life would be over.

 Thought feeling empty would hurt more than this.

 But he wasn't even crying.

 Sure, his heart was screaming in pain.

 But he wasn't crying.

 Was something wrong with him?

 He made his way out of Seidou, trudging over to the bus stop, not even realizing where he was at first.

 Had... Had Kazuya cared about him at all?

 If someone else (like Furuya) had confessed to Kazuya, would Kazuya have accepted them as easily as he did him?

 Would... Would Kazuya have at least listened to their feelings?

 He blinked a few times, not sure if he were trying to stop himself from crying or because he finally realized where he was.

 This...

 This was the bus stop where he would wait for Kazuya.

 Where Kazuya had promised to meet him for their dates.

 Dates he never showed up to because he was too busy kissing Hiro-san, his traitorous mind whispered.

 He shook his head, sitting down despite himself.

 While it was true he and Narumiya had caught Kazuya kissing Hiro-san that one time, that didn't mean Kazuya had bailed on all their dates.

 ... Right?

 But if Kazuya had cared about him even a little bit, he would've shown up for their dates instead of bailing on him.

 Kazuya had tried kissing him and making him feel good, as if the pleasure could make up for what Kazuya had done.

 And while it did feel good, it had felt wrong.

 If Kazuya had cared about him, he would've apologized and actually showed up to their next date.

 But he hadn't.

 He laughed humorlessly, shaking his head.

 Of course he hadn't.

 Kazuya hadn't cared about him or his feelings.

 Eijun sniffed, not even realizing he was crying until he looked down at his lap and the bus stop bench, watching as his tears wet his pants and the bench.

 He wiped away the tears, sniffing again.

 Why was he crying now?

 Why didn't he cry earlier?

 (Something was wrong with him.)

 He didn't know why.

 It was as if all the pain he had been holding in just... bubbled up.

 Kazuya didn't care about him.

 Would never care about him.

 Kazuya only loved Hiro-san.

 He let out a choked sob, wrapping his arms around his legs.

 He had felt complete not too long ago.

 But he felt... empty now.

 As if... he had never met Kazuya.

 Or Kazuya had taken his other half with him.

 He sobbed, tightening his arms around his legs, knowing no one would come check on him.

 (Why would they? It wasn't as if anyone cared.)

 Tears coursed down his cheeks, the tears not stopping as he continued thinking about Kazuya.

 And how empty he felt

.

An hour ago...

 No, maybe even thirty minutes ago...

 He was still dating Kazuya.

 They were still together.

 But now...

 All their moments they shared together...

 They were starting to blur.

 And he didn't want that!

 Sure, his heart felt as if it had broke.

 But he would rather cry and feel this pain than forget about his memories with Kazuya.

 Kazuya...

 Kazuya probably didn't even care that he had broken his heart.

 That he was here by himself, crying his heart out.

 And that was what hurt the most.

 ---

NARUMIYA MEI

Mei didn’t know why, 

 But he felt a strong urge telling him that he had to go to the bus stop right now. 

 It was by chance, or should he say, a twist of fate, that he had run across Sawamura Eijun, or Ei-chan, on his way back to the campus 

 (...It was a pure coincidence, he swears, it's not like he had been waiting at the bus stop the moment he heard they were meeting up there for their date)

 And it was mainly curiosity that was fueled from the fact he was dating Kazuya that Mei had dragged him to his favorite café in the area 

 He found the fellow southpaw... interesting, and really cute. 

 Not the kind of person Kazuya deserves. 

 Which what led him to often visiting that very same bus stop on his off days to see if the brunette was there (In other words, to see if Kazuya had stupidly bailed on their date again) 

 He knew the reason why he felt such a strong urge to go there right now was probably because of Ei-chan 

 It probably wasn’t a good idea, especially when after the loss he had just experienced in Koshien,  

 But he felt... no, he knew he would regret it later if he didn’t listen to his instincts. 

 He suddenly recalled their last date before the summer tournament started 

 How he and Ei-chan had caught Kazuya cheating with someone else, 

 How Ei-chan‘s voice trembled as he told him how he knew Kazuya had loved someone else the entire time, 

 How Ei-chan painfully convinced his own self that it was fine. 

 He knew Ei-chan wasn’t fine, 

  It was terrible, 

 Seeing Ei-chan cry... seeing him hurt himself just for the sake of someone who didn’t even deserve it, 

 Seeing his usually lustrous golden orbs so pained and dark. 

 If he were Kazuya, he would have cherished him like no other, 

 He would have given him all his hours when he had the chance. 

 He would never let him cry.

 He rushed to the bus stop where he always finds Ei-chan as fast as possible.

 He knew he had to get there quick.

 He didn't really know why... He just knew.

 When he arrived, he noticed a figure sitting alone at the stop, curled up in a ball and... crying to himself.

 He stepped closer quietly to get a proper look and felt himself holding his breath as he recognized the mop of brown hair the person had

 “...Ei-chan?” Mei asked carefully, hoping it wasn't the brunette who was crying to himself

 It didn't take long before misty golden eyes looked back at him

 He lookes so lifeless, so... empty,

  So broken.

 "Ei-chan... what's wrong?" tried to ask carefully but it only led to the brunette crying even more, shaking his head as he did so.

 Mei was at lost, he didn't know what to do to help and the sight of Eijun crying tore his heart.

 He made his way beside the brunette quietly and gently placed his hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles to help and comfort him. "I'm right here. Just cry it all out, i won't leave your side" He whispered softly, surprised at how tender his own voice sounds

 Seconds became minutes and those minutes felt like hours as he stayed by Eijun's side, patiently rubbing his back as he tried to speak warm, reassuring words of comfort.

 Mei noticed how the sobbing stopped "are you alright now?"

 Ei-chan nodded weakly and Mei breathed in relief, glad the brunette was slightly better now. 

 Deciding it's better to ask sooner than later, he inhaled deeply as he opened his mouth to speak yet Eijun beat him to it.

 He turned to face Mei, eyes still foggy from confusion and pain, hesitantly, he spoke

 "Kazuya... He broke up with me.."