#but holy shit this is like one of the sweetest asks ive ever gotten????? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

oh-mother-of-darkness · 5 years ago

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answers (16)

Anonymous said: A lot of these secrets are really serious and sad so heres a lighter one: me and my sister are knitting christmas socks for the whole family as a surprise. Ive never knit a pattern before but im really good!!

Amazing!!

Anonymous said: idk if your still doing this but my secret is I fear im a terrible person who only acts nice to rick people into liking her and ik that actually does make me an okay but i still feel im doing it for the wrong reasons and someones going to get too close and find out the truth and hate me

That’s very self aware of you, I think-- probably too self aware. You’re absolutely right to say it’s the trying that matters, but I’m not gonna blame you for worrying about it. I have similar concerns about myself sometimes. I’m aware that for me personally they’re partially justified. Some of my kindness is self motivated.

I think though (and it seems like you already know this) it’s the effect of the kindness that matters. Maybe it’s better for me if I have “pure” intentions, but if I don’t, I should still do the kind things anyway, right? Because at the end there’s still going to be good. And there’s nothing bad about actively trying to be good, which is all we’re doing.

Anonymous said: my secret is that ive been chasing after a dream my whole life but im not sure ill ever achieve it. times running out and i dont know what to do if i cant. i feel like my whole life has been put on standby and i dont know the way out. i know ill be okay in the end but i dont know what the end will be and that scares me.

Shit that’s relatable. You really will be okay, but it’s terrifying in the meantime, isn’t it? To have those turning points bearing down on you?

Things will happen. You can’t stop that. Time is gonna continue, but you’ll still be there at the end. Your head’s already in the right place.

Anonymous said: My secret is that I really, really like one of my friends, but he has a girlfriend and slept with one of my best friends when they were both super drunk. I want the feelings to stop and go back to being just friends, because I honestly think I don't have a chance, but there is a small part of me that doesn't want to let go. I don't know what to do.

Well that’s a bitch of a situation, isn’t it? Romantic feelings aren’t really my area, but I understand holding on to things you consciously want to let go. Emotions always feel like part of me, you know? I don’t want to tear them away. Sometimes it’s better to do it, though. I don’t know from a few sentences if that’s the case here, but I hope you find the way that’s the best for you

Anonymous said: My secret is I used to be suicidal, in my pre/early teens. I had realised I was lesbian in a small, largely Catholic town and hated myself for it. I was awful at social situations and couldn’t make friends. I hated myself for having baby fat because I danced part time. Then as I got older I slowly got more confident until one day a friend died I realised that holy shit I used to be suicidal and I could have killed myself. I’m terrified that I might get like that again and actually do it

Honestly, and I know this is gonna sound cliche, but I’m always in awe of folks like you. I don’t handle my own mental health issues super well most of the time, and to hear about someone growing? Changing? Getting better? Amazing

Anonymous said: If you're still taking these... my secret is that I don't want to give birth to children ever, and would consider adopting instead (when I'm older), but if I were to voice that to any family member or even an acquitance, they would shun me for it and make sure they try to talk me out of it. I really hate how conservative people put so many expectations on my shoulders

Heyyyyyy same. I’m not planning on birthing any kids, but my parents have come down pretty heavily on the single-women-should-not-adopt-children thing, which is.... bullshit. I’m gonna adopt some kids one day, whether they like it or not.

You know your own mind and your own plans. Other people don’t have to be happy about them, even (maybe especially) family members.

Anonymous said: My secret is that I’m a bad friend. I don’t make time for the few friends I have and spend most my time working or being in my room. They deserve better than me.

I don’t think you’re a bad friend. Not being around isn’t bad-friend behavior. You’re not hurting anyone. You’re not doing anything wrong. And I certainly don’t think that it justifies the idea that they should leave you. Relationships are always kinda a difficult balancing act, but you don’t have to be perfect at balancing it, you know?

Anonymous said: My secret is that I'm extremely self-sufficient, I've always had to be. But because there's no one else taking care of me it's so hard to invest my time in others because I'll neglect my own mental state. It make sit hard to develop stable relationships. Every once in a while I re-realize that I'm no one's priority so I have to be my own. And it just sucks.

Shit anon that’s really really rough. It makes me sad with you. I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong, because I don’t know, do I? But I hope you are.

Anonymous said: My secret is I imagine myself as OCs I create for certain fandoms like Young Justice or Castlevania, and I spend all my time daydreaming of how I would act in episodes and how I would interact with the characters. I think it’s because I’m not satisfied with my life, and I’m also afraid that this makes me either weird or crazy.

Oh biggest mood

I do that too. I’m not in a position to say whether that’s a good or bad thing, but I like to think it just makes us creative. For me, it eventually found an outlet in writing, and that’s been a big source of joy in my life. I had some unpleasant experiences sharing that stuff with people in the past, but for me? I don’t worry about it anymore. I know a lot of people that do similar stuff.

Write some fanfiction, maybe :) You might be real good at it

Anonymous said: My secret is I’m secretly attracted to people who are better than me at stuff

That’s not really my area, but seems to me that’s a pretty good thing to be attracted to. One of the sweetest things I hear around school is people talking about how their partners are going to be such good lawyers. It’s cute.

Anonymous said: My secret is that my anxiety is crushing me. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

Oh, anon. I just.... feel you. I’ve been really struggling lately with the idea that other people move through life without that handicap, and it amazes and angers me. Why don’t I get that? Why am I like this? It isn’t fair.

And it isn’t. It just isn’t. You didn’t ask to death match your brain every second of the day. You’re not any worse than everyone else, so why do you have to suffer? I don’t know. I really don’t.

The only happy thing I can say to you is people do heal. It’s bullshit that it takes so much time and effort, but it is possible. I’m better off now than I was five years ago, even if it did take five years and a whole lot of therapy, medication, and energy. You shouldn’t have to fight like this, but you can, and you can win.

Anonymous said: My secret is Im so bitter most of the time that I cant be happy for others. Me and my best friend are both singers but I can never be happy for her when she gets compliments or any success bc im jealous and im scared I'll never learn to be selfless and happy for other people

You’re only human. You have human emotions. You have every right to feel them. The only thing that matters is your choices, because that’s the only thing you can control.

I’m so sorry you’re scared. That’s another emotion you have every right to feel

Anonymous said: My secret is that sometimes I hated myself for not express what I felt because I thought they'll hate me or make distance of me but I'm learning to express my feelings to others and try to be more confidence :) I hope you'll be brave too and do whatever you want to do 💜

I wanna be anon when I grow up

Anonymous said: My secret is that my hands hurt all the time but in different ways, and I’m scared to get help because I’m scared they’ll tell me I’m making it up or being dramatic.

Man do I hate the shit people put you through to get medical help. Everybody’s entitled to ask, aren’t they? So why are we all making that difficult? Why are we making people feel bad about their own pain?

I understand your fear, but I hope you start asking questions anyway. Other people’s opinions about it aren’t your fault

Anonymous said: My secret is that my dermatillomania has gotten way worse since I got to college, so I’m having to wear headscarves again to keep myself from picking my scalp. I smuggled my scarf collection out of my room without telling my parents.

I’m sorry, anon. That’s difficult. That sucks. That’s bullshit.

Anonymous said: my secret is that when one of my family members says something homophobic I'll laugh and agree because I'm afraid that they'll disown me if there's any shred of proof that I'm LGBT and it makes me feel like such filth

That’s not your fault. It’s theirs for making you feel unsafe, because your safety really should be your first priority! That’s okay! You’re not being a bad person by doing it. You’re just protecting someone. You’re allowed to make that someone you

#some pretty heavy subjects here so #suicide #suicidal thoughts #anxiety #depression #mental illness #homophobia #if there's anything else let me know #asks #secrets

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spartanguard · 8 years ago

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i love you (and i like you)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, @ive-always-been-a-pirate!!! I hope you have an absolutely fantastic, amazing day, because you are one of the sweetest peeps out there and deserve it. Here’s a quick little Parks & Rec AU to celebrate!! (because the only thing possibly more perfect than CS is Ben & Leslie) HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY!

Nothing infuriated Emma Swan more than Killian Jones.

She hated him the minute he waltzed into her department, announcing that Storybrooke was basically bankrupt and that he and his friend were there to make sure that didn’t happen. Which, in hindsight, sounds like a good thing, but not when doing so meant slashing half of the parks department’s budget. As Director of said department, how could she be okay with that?

“It’s not just us, Emma, it’s everyone,” her deputy, David, reminded her.

She groaned in response.

“Would you rather the city went broke?”

“Yes.”

She hated that sinful British accent of his, and the way his dark hair sometimes fell in his blue eyes, and how that scruff-covered jaw was just begging for someone to run a thumb across it. Those were the things she noticed when he took her out for a drink in an attempt to assuage her regarding the coming changes.

And that he was annoyingly charming, and funny, and flirtatious, and unfortunately, he too wanted to do the most good for the most people.

“Why is it you went into parks, Swan? Someone as fierce as you seems more fit for politics.”

She snorted, then shrugged. “I mean, I’ve thought about it. Running for office. I’d love to. But then I had my son, and I really wanted to make sure that he always had a safe place to play and have adventures. So this was kind of logical.”

He took a sip of his rum, swallowed, then looked up at her. “No, that’s not all, is it?”

“Beg your pardon?”

(This was when she learned she hated how well he could read her.)

Those too-blue eyes bored into hers. “You’re trying to give him something you never had, aren’t you?”

Her gaze narrowed; how could he know that?

“You’re something of an open book, love,” he said, apparently reading her mind. “You’ve got that look in your eyes—the one you get when you’ve been left alone.”

Damn, he was good. She didn’t tell many people about her life before Henry and then this guy just figures it out on his own. To her own surprise, she found herself filling in the blanks to this relative stranger. Reluctantly nodding, she explained, “I was a foster kid, and for a long time, I didn’t really have a place that was mine. But no matter where I went, there was always a park, and I could always find some quiet space there, even as a troubled teenager. So at some point, I got it into my head that that was what I wanted to do: make sure that there were always clean, nice parks for everyone to enjoy—and yes, most of all my son.”

His stare softened at her admission, and something seemed to shift between them ever so slightly. Then he smirked and replied, “Guess we have a few things in common.”

“What, were you a troubled teenager, too?”

“You could say that.”

She scoffed. No way this straight-laced, albeit somewhat lascivious, stud was anything but a goody-two-shoes in high school or primary school or whatever they call it in England. “I find that hard to believe.”

He looked down to study the wood of the bar. “Have you ever heard of Captain Jones, Teenage Pirate?”

Her jaw dropped. Of course she had—how could she not? Right around the time of her own rebellious teenage years, she’d heard the story of a kid not much older than her who’d taken to the high seas of England, terrorizing any ship he could, though doing not much more than being an annoyance to the Navy and convincing some wealthy minor royals to part ways with some jewels. She remembered the one picture she’d seen: a scrawny young man, wind whipping his long dark hair and reddening his babyish face. But his eyes…

“Holy shit, that was you?”

He was blushing—the nerd was actually blushing. “At your service.”

She couldn’t reconcile those two images in her head. “Just…how? How do you go from that to…this?” she demanded, gesturing to him.

“I was protesting what I thought was an unjust action by the Royal Navy that put my brother in unnecessary danger. He survived, but he’s my only family and I was just angry enough at the world to go rogue. When they finally caught me, I went to jail for a short while but then was released to him, and he made me realize just how foolish I’d been. So I straightened up, went to university, and eventually found myself over here, working to right wrongs in government as a way to atone for my youthful follies in a more productive manner.”

She was speechless. Yeah, it was an incredible tale, but, damn…they really did have something in common.

She hated the way he seemed to have no remorse in shutting down the government, despite their conversation—despite all that he and Robin had seen in Storybrooke. She hated that she had started to let another guy in only for him to betray her again.

“These are people’s jobs, Killian! Their livelihoods! And not just them—this is going to affect all of Storybrooke!”

“You think I don’t know that? I’m trying to save the town, Emma. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.”

“And what am I supposed to tell all these people who were looking forward to that concert?”

“It’s a concert, Swan; there will be others. You think these people can’t handle it?”

“Here? No.”

They glared at each other for another moment, tensions high, and while most of her was raging, a small but significant part of her just wanted to kiss him.

“There’s more to this, isn’t there?” he asked, voice low.

Damn him. Of course there was, and of course he knew it. She could give him some drivel about how Henry was looking forward to it, or that it was a tradition, but those would be lies. It just…stung.

“No, there isn’t.” She turned away. “Call me when you’ve figured this shit out.”

She absolutely hated that, when she had found a way to nearly save the community concert, it was Killian that actually did, by rehiring the band out of his own pocket. She hated it so much she cried happy tears in the privacy of her own car (which freaked out Henry a bit, so he hugged her tight).

And she really hated it when she overheard the conversation between he and Robin about staying in Storybrooke, even after fixing the budget. Worse yet, they’d be working with her in city hall, both in the city manager’s office.

How awful it had been to see him every day, especially once she got the idea to revive the Miner’s Festival, and Killian was totally on board. He helped her every step of the way, even when she was delirious with the flu and drunk off her ass.

“You really think we can pull this off?” she wondered aloud, hopelessness seeping in after a sponsor pulled out.

“I do, Swan,” he assured her, completely sincerely. “I’ve yet to see you fail.”

She kind of hated that he was right, though she was mostly relieved. Everything had gone off without a hitch; everyone was having fun; and Mayor Mills had managed to find the town’s mascot dog, Wilby, before he’d ran off too far. It was pretty much perfect.

“Told you. I knew you could do it, Swan. You’re a bloody hero.”

She blushed, uncomfortable with the praise. “So are you. I wanted to thank you, Killian, for all your help—for staying in Storybrooke in the first place. We couldn’t have done it without all your help.”

“It was the right thing to do.”

There was something that had been bugging her the more they had worked together—and gotten closer—over the past few months. “I’ve gotta ask: why did you?”

“Why did I what?”

“Stay. You told me about how you’ve been all over the place, never staying in one town for long. But you’re here, in this crazy little town. Why?”

He took a step closer, somewhat nervous. “Don’t you know, Emma?” She tilted her head, confused. “It’s you.”

She prayed Henry was nowhere nearby, because after so many close encounters, awkward hugs, and exchanged wanting glances over the past few months, she was tired of holding back. She didn’t even care about Robin’s no-dating rule that she’d been using to justify not acting on her growing feelings. She just stepped right into his space, grabbed the lapels of that silly leather jacket he was always wearing, and hauled his lips to hers. He didn’t hesitate to reciprocate, pulling her tight, and she quickly got lost in their kiss.

She hated how perfectly they fit together, how easy it was to have him in her life. She hated how well he got along with Henry. She hated how sweet and caring he was, always supporting her fully and so in tune with what she needed. She really hated sneaking around, but there was a certain thrill in having to hide their relationship work.

That is, until David caught them. And until someone approached Emma with running for a position on City Council. And Killian was just too damn perceptive for his own good.

So what she really hated was how he put her dreams and wants above his.

They sat down at the table and she took a deep breath, building up courage for the conversation she’d been avoiding for weeks.

“I know I’ve been really weird lately. I…like you a lot, even though that contradicts what I’m about to say—”

“I know,” he cut her off, understanding as ever, and sliding toward her the small box he’d been trying to force on her all day, ever since lunch at Granny’s. “Open the box.”

“Killian, would you stop it with the box?” she complained, exasperated that he was trying to give her a gift when she was trying her damnedest to keep it together despite what was coming.

“Okay, then, I’ll open the box.” He calmly tugged the box back, flipped the lid, and put it back in front of her. And she was speechless.

Inside was an oversized campaign badge. In white text on a red background was written SWAN 2017.

“Wow,” she breathed. “You knew.”

“Aye,” he nodded, looking down. “I know I should have told you sooner, but…I wanted this to last as long as possible.” He looked up at her through his lashes. “We have to break up, love.”

Knowing it and hearing it were two different things; a stone dropped in her stomach. “Why? Why do we have to break up?”

“Emma, you’ve worked so hard for this—you’ve earned this. And I don’t want anyone to think you’ve gotten here by sleeping with your boss, as devilishly handsome as he may be.”

“But I like sleeping with my boss.”

He teasingly offered every bad breakup line in the book— “It’s not you; it’s me”; “you disgust me”—but it didn’t reach his eyes and she could always spot a lie.

She really, really hated seeing him with another girl on his arm.

It had been six weeks since their reluctant breakup and while things were progressing in her campaign—and she was getting ever closer to achieving one of her dreams—she wasn’t sure if the success was worth the aching loneliness she felt every night, lying alone in her bed. Henry, bless his little heart, had tried to cheer her up, and she appreciated it, but it only partly filled the void.

She still saw Killian every day, which was probably the worst part—being close to him but not being able to be with him was a whole different kind of torture. She’d been through her share of heartbreak, but this was on a whole other level.

And then he started to pull away from her, and she had no idea why. She’d even selfishly tried to drag out a low-level parks project—installing the smallest park in Maine in the center of town—because it was the last one they’d do together.

But it went through faster than she thought, and here they were, celebrating their victory with a little shindig at David’s house. And there he was, with that pixie-like blonde journalist at his side.

“Oh, so just because I can’t go out with him, someone else can?” she complained to Mary Margaret, David’s wife and her best friend.

“Yes,” was the matter-of-fact response. “That’s actually the first time I’ve seen him smile in a while.”

No, that—that was the worst of all.

“Really?” Emma asked voice small.

“Really,” she answered in a knowing voice. And Mary Margaret would know—Killian had been renting their spare bedroom ever since he decided to stay in town.

If Killian had been just as torn up over their break as her, and it took this new woman for him to move on, then no wonder he was pulling away.

She hated that the most.

She couldn’t stay there any longer. Quickly, she made sure Henry was okay to stay there for a bit and headed out, walking around their small town to clear her head, or her heart, or something.

It shouldn’t have been any surprise that she ended up at their tiny park. It was just a lamppost and a bench with a few flower pots, but it was their brainchild and it was perfect. She took a seat on the bench and stared into the night.

“Thought I might find you here.” She jumped at Killian’s voice, turning toward it as he stepped into the light.

“Shouldn’t you be with Tink?” she threw back, more bitter than she’d intended.

“Maybe.” His tone was non-committal but he sat down next to her.

They sat in silence for a few minutes—not an awkward one, but they both seemed to want to say something. So she did.

“Why are you here?” His only reaction was to turn to look at her, so she continued. “If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, I understand.”

“Believe me, Swan—I don’t want that,” he was quick to reply, to her relief. “I just…” he trailed off, scratching nervously behind his ear. “I think it’s for the best,” he concluded sadly.

She sighed; he was probably right. “Okay.” His face fell a bit, but he nodded and stood, and started to walk away.

And in that moment, she was reminded of everyone else who had walked away: foster parents, Henry’s father, a string of exes who never seemed to want her for her. But Killian—he never had done that. Even dumping her was putting her first. She couldn’t let that go.

“Or we just say ‘screw it’,” she called after him. “And do this for real.”

He stopped and turned back to look at her. “What?”

“Everyone I’ve been with has left me, except you. I can’t lose you, too, Killian. And I miss you like crazy, so let’s do this.”

His head was down as he stepped back toward her, making it hard to read his expression. “We’d have to tell Robin.”

“Yeah.”

“It could cause a scandal.”

“I know.”

“It could hurt your campaign.”

“I know, but I know how I feel, and I want to be with you.” She swallowed; she couldn’t remember a time in her life when she’d been more nervous or when so much had hung on one question. “That’s how I feel. How do you feel?”

He looked up and a smile was teasing at the corner of his mouth and eyes; the weight that had been sitting within her since they’d first broken up started to lift.

And then he was in front of her in two strides, hands cupping her face and his mouth on hers. Their first kiss had been one of pent-up passion, but this? This was like coming home. And she kind of never wanted to leave.

They were making out for what felt like ages, but let Granny, or Tink, or this town’s crazy raccoons watch. When they finally broke apart, she only had one thought.

“I love you and I like you.”

“I love you and I like you, too, Swan.”

thanks to @shipsxahoy for looking this over! Tagging a few others who might like this: @kat2609 @mryddinwilt @thesschesthair @fergus80 @optomisticgirl @captainswanismyendgame @fairytalesandtimetravel @cocohook38 @annytecture @wingedlioness @disastergirl @laschatzi @jscoutfinch @nfbagelperson @stubble-sandwich @athenascarlet @kmomof4 @ilovemesomekillianjones

#cs ff #cs ff au #ouat x parks #happy birthday #ive always been a pirate #my ff

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honorpmoved · 8 years ago

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SITS ON UR LAP ok like we havent interacted on my mei at All but im too lazy to log out so lets pretend im on infrad rn. ANYWAY LIKE I LOVE???? UR REINHARDT SO MUCH you're absolutely phenomenal ??? you have a beautiful grasp on his character + real life experiences you can apply to him that really breathe life into him and make him Realistic which is so important. your writing is so so good im so shook...... its descriptive without being excessive & it flows so nicely which is something i [1/4]

admire as someone who has an assload of trouble with writing flow. your graphics always look so so nice & i havent gotten the chance to compliment you on your current theme but i creamed when i looked at it. its aesthetic af while still being legible & easily accessible which is like ??? what else could you Want. the fact that you approached me FIRST way back on my amelie had me shocked because ever since i planted my ass in this fandom ive been like 👀👀👀 @ u. it seriously boosted my confidence with amelie because my first shot at her went pretty badly so bless u honestly wtf ….. and this is all just with your portrayal okay lets talk about how fuckin fun you are to talk to ??? you just came up and started to talk to me which is so refreshing because it feels so awkward when its Formal. you’re so so sweet like wtf i have to fight you every time you try and compliment my booty ass self. i always stop to read any threads or just dumb asks in general because its either gonna be Incredible or hilarious because dude …. my guy …. you’re so funnny …. what the fuck … ur just so welcoming and nice and funny and talented pls if i go on ill hit ask limit so THIS IS WHAT I GOTS FOR U

reblog if you want anonymous opinions of you. // @frstd

im callin the fuckin police on your sweet ass holy shit,,, honestly im speechless and i have the dumbest fuckin smile on my face rn YOU ARE THE SWEETEST MAN LIKE. shit i had followed a lot of widows and ever since ive always been sorta seekin out a good one, cuz that amelie rein dynamic is a guten i want them t be pals in the beginning and when i saw your blog I just remember like. thinking you were super cool and just throwing caution to the wind like w.e im gonna talk to them and they’re gonna hate me or they’re gonna like me i wanted to be your friend so i was like im either doing it or failing and that’s my answer AND LOOK AT US NOW a bunch of fuckin spoons who snort about our muses doin stupid shit it’s the mcfuckin best

man every account you have is always so masterfully done i can’t imagine you having a bad start on amelie ; w; i love your mei, your gerard - you put so much work into all of them, and you write them so beautifully like HONESTLY you’re your own biggest critic cuz i would never see an issue with writing flow in your jam. your characterization for amelie esp ( since im most familiar with her ) is like so?? i see widows put a heavy focus into widowmaker herself, and while i find that important, neglecting her roots can sometimes be a bit detrimental to a character when obviously SO MUCH OF HER LIFE was spent as something else and you have breathed a lot of life into that side, like the 90% of the character that blizzard doesn’t give us. you have her personality and characterization so down pat i fuckin laugh everytime or i make a stupid face in shock when you write some of her reactions cuz im a loser and get so hype for good writing LIKE I’LL JUST :0 !!!!! BRUH WHEN YOU WRITE HER REACTING TO SOMETHING REIN DOES i hope that makes sense just

ily bab

#long post for ts.#[ you send me 4 asks ill DESTROY YOU WITH PARAGRAPHS RIGHT BACK ]#frstd #♚ —— there is still more to my tale ! ‘ answ.#♚ —— commander in chief. ‘ ooc.

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