#but holy shit our bill? hes doing uhhh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

obxsummer · 5 years ago

Text

Half a Brain Cell // JJ Maybank

word count: 1k

pairing: jj maybank x reader

warnings: uhhh cussing, fighting

summary: you’re tired of the kooks taking advantage of your boyfriend so you finally decide to put a stop to it yourself.

requested: jj x reader where reader is a bad bitch and maybe beats tf out of barry or someone trying to mess with her boy

a/n: sorry this is short. I suck at writing fight scenes :(

masterlist

ask me anything

Dating JJ came with some perks, but also, some rough patches. You knew how hard things could be at home with his dad, which is why you always kept your door open to him over time. You hated knowing that he had to deal with tough situations but despite your offers for him to live with you, he wanted to figure this out on his own.

It was a beautiful sunny day in paradise on earth. You were out on the boat with JJ and Pope, the three of you running grocery deliveries for Heyward. Pope was just here to direct and drive, not wanting to risk getting off the boat and getting pummeled by Topper and Rafe like last time. You and JJ had agreed to go, your boyfriend wanting the tip money more than anything, but it was nice to be out on the water.

“Figure Eight,” JJ huffed as Pope docked the boat. “This oughta be good.”

You rolled your eyes at his attitude and grabbed some of the groceries from the bins. “Can it, Maybank. Let’s go.”

The two of you walked side by side as you started the path through the golf course. JJ landed a particularly aggressive bump to your side, sending you off balance. You glared at him. “Watch it, asshole. I won’t be so nice on the way back.”

“You wouldn’t.” He stuck his tongue out in response as you continued your journey. “Are we still on for stars tonight?”

Every now and then, on warm nights with clear skies, you and JJ would steal John B’s hammock for yourselves and lay there for hours while you stared at the stars. Sometimes JJ would make up shapes in the few clouds or tell you some far fetched story about some adventure he had been on. It was your favorite thing to do together, and it really kept you grounded in the mess of your daily lives.

“Always,” You commented as you walked up the path of the house you were delivering to. A quick conversation ensued and JJ took hold of the fresh $50 bill with a bright smile on his face. He tucked it in his pocket as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders while you started your walk back to the boat. “God, I’ll do deliveries for Heyward anyday!”

You shook your head, flicking him in the ear. “You’re lucky he lets you do them every now and then. Pretty sure that man hates your guts.”

“Nah.” JJ waved the idea off. “He really enjoys my presence. He just doesn’t want to admit it.”

“Well, well, well. Some Pogues decided they were good enough to scope out our side of the island.” Topper practically jumped out of the trees to stop in front of the two of you. On cue, Rafe was approaching behind him.

JJ froze in his spot, his arm pushing you behind him as he stood guard. “We’re seriously dropping off groceries. Can’t you guys chill for one second?” He grabbed your wrist and began to lead the way straight through the two oncoming boys.

“No can do, JJ.” Rafe latched on your other wrist and pulled you out of JJ’s grip. You collided backwards with his chest as you looked at JJ in panic.

“Listen, we really just wanted to talk. Get nose to nose on why your little friend Pope decided to sink my boat.” Topper cracked his knuckles as he closed in on JJ. “No answers? Guess I’ll have to beat it out of you then.”

The second Topper’s fist collided with JJ’s check, something snapped inside you. Silently you thanked your sister for dragging you to all of her karate classes that one summer as you thought out your plan of attack. In a rush of adrenaline, you kicked your foot backwards into Rafe, catching him off guard. He stumbled back, giving you enough space to plant your foot into his stomach to send him tumbling to the ground. Not risking a comeback, you punched his cheek as hard as you could, satisfied when he held his hands up in surrender

After having the decency to make sure he was at least breathing, you redirected your attention towards the attacker currently tearing your boyfriend apart. Sure, JJ was getting a few good licks in, but there was no way this was ending soon.

You jumped. You literally jumped and landed on Topper’s back, your hands latching around his throat as you pulled him backward off JJ. He started choking with your action, but taking him out for a moment wasn’t going to be enough. The two of you collided with the ground but you managed to crawl out from underneath him before you continued to hit him, kick him, even so much as bite his hand when he grabbed your shirt. You were done with this back and forth fighting. A hit to the nose had him surrendering as blood began to pour down his designer button up.

“This isn’t over!” He shouted as you walked over to help JJ off the ground.

Turning on your heel, you gave Topper and Rafe a glare. “I’m pretty sure it is. Next time, I won’t be so forgiving.”

Leaving the two boys in the dirt, you wrapped JJ’s arm around your shoulder and continued walking back towards the boat. “Are you okay?” You asked as you brushed a bit of blood from his lip.

He stopped suddenly, staring at you with wide eyes. “Am I okay? Y/N, you just beat the shit out of Topper! That was awesome.” He was literally so excited, somehow overwhelmed with the events that just went down. “Holy shit! You’re so cool! Oh, wow. Wait until Pope hears about this!”

With that, the blond boy took off down the dock, shouting for Pope to listen to what just happened. You watched him with a smile on your face, still so curious how JJ functioned on half a brain cell.

965 notes · View notes

prince-toffee · 4 years ago

Text

TRUE COLOURS

Here we go!

Oh no, there’s no intro. Oh fuck, it’s happening.

Flashback!!!! Marcy!!!!!!!

‘PSAT Prep for the soul’

‘Look at this cool bug I found’ I love Marcy

Oh is this going to focus on Sasha’s and Marcy’s relationship? So far we’ve only explored the dynamic between Sasha and Anne.

Oh my god was that Bill???? Wait I have to go back what was on the cover of the book? ‘Dr P’s Extraordinary Guide To Magic and Mystery’ Oh I sense another book for sale. Is this going to be like their ‘Magic Book of Spells’ from Star vs and ‘Journal 3′ from Gravity Falls? You know I’d buy that in a heart beat.

Dad? ‘Come home. We need to talk?’ Oh no. What’s going on?

Yep, divorce, it’s a bitch.

Destiny.

Marcy Wu and Crew. That’s their official team name, like the Justice League or Avengers. u can’t tell me otherwise.

Oh boy, this isn’t going to end well.

GASP IS- IS IT LEGS????? LEGS????

Aww that would be sweet, if the Plantars could go to Earth with Anne. Oh. Do you guys think that’s season 3? It’s a sort of reversal with them being in a different world.

That fucking tower, what is it? A clock? A... a lighter, or a it has to be like a clock, but like a cosmic clock, or whatever.

Real quick before Andreous appears on screen. He said he and his master want to undo the prophecy, what led Marcy to the Box was destiny, all of this is meant to happen, but what ever they do, they need to stay on Amphibia to do it, because Andreous wants them gone.

Keith David, always a win.

Yep! Knew it!

Andreous on all fours, horrifying.

Yep, told you. ‘Maybe I don’t want to rule a school, maybe I want to rule a kingdom.’ She wants power, more importantly she enjoys power!

Come on Andreous, really that’s all you got?

Marcy and Andreous must know each other well and have a lot of trust in each other, if they can understand a nod from the other. It’s heart braking that he’s a villain too. Everybody’s getting betrayed.

Come on, kick her ass Anne!

Oh no, I see it now, Marcy wants to fix the friendship because she doesn’t want Anne and Sasha split apart because it parallels her parents getting divorced, oh god, poor Marcy. That worries me she’s willing to be hurt and betrayed and walked over for them just to stay together with Sasha.

No.

*sigh of relief* Why didn’t it work?

OH BECAUSE OF ANNE NOT CHARGING THE CRYSTAL FULLY!!!!

YES ANNE KILL KILL KILLL

HEADBUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHAD ANNE!!!!!!!!

I HAVEN’T CLAPPED FOR ANYTHING IN THIS SHOW BEFORE BUT THE TRUE HERO HAS ARRIVED! GENERAL YUNAN

HOW DARE YOU SILENCE HER

I love her face.

ANOTHER GASP Are we going to the basement???? No just outside, okay.

Sal’s!!!! See? It’s all connected. And definitely not filler.

‘They do.’ I love her.

Hop Pop finally living out his dream.

Kick their ass Polly! I want Yunan to become Polly’s mentor.

What’s the present?

‘What’s the matter? You don’t like it?’ Worried Toad DadTM

HOLY SHIT WHAT

‘If it is, then it’s a really good thing we stopped him.’ Oh no, so many ‘oh no’s today

Hold on, back up, I need to see the evil-ass painting again, and analyse it using my English Media skills I learned at school. Uh huh, uh huh, I see, it’s the PowerPuff Girls fighting against Him. IT’S A SPACESHIP!? OF COURSE IT’S A SPACE SHIP! IT’S ALWAYS A SPACESHIP! Yep there’s the moss people being eradicated, the music box somehow powering the castle spaceship. Andreous, or maybe an ancestor of Andreous, his father or grandfather maybe, wielding the box under the Sauron Pinecone. Oh and a lot of dead frogs and or toads, nice. Some flame over Anne too. The spark inside our hearts, I’m sure.

Alright, that was a lot, resume please.

Oh no, we’re not even half way through the episode, that’s not good.

Ah you see! The boy who cried wolf! Anne’s not gonna believe you now!

Oh I love the animation on this fight.

‘My one good eye.’

Yeah, but also no, but yeah, but no... this is a lose-lose situation.

Oh no, still an entire half of the episode to go.

Oh god that face.

What’s gonna happen?

LORE TIME IS EVIL TIME!!!!!!

OH SHIT OH SHIT UHHH A LOT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

IT’S A FUCKING GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT’S A FUCKING GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE TOWER IS A FUCKING GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT’S NOT A CLOCK, IT’S A FUCKING GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best reveal.

...what... she... she knew...

EVERYBODY IS GETTING BETRAYED!!!!!!

‘TRUE COLOURS’ THIS TITLE HAS SO MANY MEANINGS

THAT WAS THE PROPOSITION! FUCK!

THE NOISE I JUST MADE

WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!????

MARCY YOU’RE SOUNDING INSANE!

No.

‘I gave you this.’

Nice flame sword.

No, no, no, I’m crying.

So Anne’s a super saiyan now.

THE ANIMATION

WHAT

WHAT DO YOU MEAN INTO THE PORTAL, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?????!!?!!!!

. . .

what

#amphibia #amphibia season 2 #amphibia spoilers

24 notes · View notes

mostlycompetentwriter · 4 years ago

Text

“Carpe Diem” - Domesticated Sequel

F/M Pairing: Felix x OC (original character)

Genre: Strangers to Lovers AU; Sequel

Warnings: mild language; but it’s mostly fluff again!

Word Count: 2.5K

Summary: Felix loves his brother, and he loves his brother’s wife as well. But there are times when he feels left out and lonely when he watches their interactions together, and maybe he’d like to experience love for himself with the right girl...

Thalia: the goddess of festivity

Felix really didn’t like the idea of a monogamous relationship. Because they often demanded too much of his time, and those commitments restricted his preference for one-night stands after picking up a pretty girl from the bar.

But perhaps Felix should reconsider his entire philosophy (after all, he does have a masters degree in the subject) because standing in the middle of the modest lobby of Y/N’s office building, Felix couldn’t help but wonder why he had ever believed such stupid things.

“I’ll call you later,” Thalia promised him with a gentle kiss - the current subject of his most intimate fantasies.

Felix smiled against her lips since he was apparently whipped for one girl (and one girl only) despite his past decisions. “I already miss you,” Felix replied, and he was grateful that Thalia found his cheesiness funny.

They had already been on several dates together (even though Felix couldn’t understand why she kept agreeing because he was so unbelievably shy and awkward), and Felix was growing more and more enamored with the concept of a long-term romance with flowers falling in the background while swelling music crescendos when they kiss for the thousandth time.

It was the perfect description for their relationship, and he met Thalia at one of the bars he frequented, and she instantly caught his attention with her flirtatious smile and infectious laugh. She also looked beautiful while wearing tight skinny jeans and a low-cut blouse that left very little to the imagination. They wound up together in the sketchy bathroom behind the building, and Felix had never been with someone who managed to unravel him from head to toe in such a short amount of time.

It was the first occasion where he had ever asked for the other girl’s number, and she had stolen his wrist and scribbled the numbers on the back of his hand before kissing the daylights out of him.

When he got home that night, he immediately questioned Chan on the topic of dating, asking him a thousand questions on how best to impress a girl: “Did you pay on your date with Y/N or did you split the bill?”

But Chan had looked at him like he had grown another head, and Felix realized that he would have to put in a lot of effort to make an impression.

Because Thalia was worth it, and she was just so pure like one of his favorite Greek mythology characters come to life!

“Be good for me,” Thalia said, pulling him out of his memories and back to the present moment.

Apparently, Thalia was meeting someone who worked in this enormous office building - the same one where Y/N suffered under the direction of Seo Changbin, but that was a story for another time.

“My sister-in-law works here,” Felix remarked.

“Oh?” Thalia grinned as she examined the space around them. “What a coincidence.”

“But I also enjoyed our lunch together,” Felix said, and he was suddenly crowding Thalia against the elevators despite the onlookers observing their interaction.

“Thank you for walking me here,” Thalia said, and Felix watched with a heart full of affection as she waved at him before the elevator doors closed on them.

And Felix was on cloud-nine for the rest of the day, checking his phone repeatedly as he waited for Thalia to contact him again.

“Are you waiting for the new PlayStation trailer?” Chan eventually interrupted his obsession, ruffling his hair before joining him on the couch.

“No!” Felix protested, and he shoved his phone away before reaching out for one of the controllers. “You wanna play?”

“Sure,” Chan said. “I’m not on call tonight.”

“Good,” Felix said. “I can kick your ass in Fortnite.”

“Whatever,” Chan scoffed, and he started jabbing his thumbs into the buttons while doing whatever he could to avoid Felix’s attacks. “You’ve had more practice than me!”

“You just suck,” Felix informed him bluntly, narrowing his eyes in concentration as he focused on the screen.

It was actually nice to spend some time with his brother and keep his mind off the persistent question of whether or not Thalia might call him before the end of the night.

“You two are so loud!” Y/N complained when she walked into the living room.

“It’s called intense focus,” Felix replied, chuckling when he managed to hit Chan’s character yet again.

“Hey!” Chan exclaimed, and Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Dinner is almost ready,” she said, tossing a towel over her shoulder before leaving the room and muttering something about boys and their games.

But just when Felix was about to win another round, his phone started going off, and he immediately hit the pause button so that he could look at the screen with a gasp. “Oi,” Chan shouted. “What the hell are you doing?”

“This is important!” Felix insisted, and his eyes drank in every word of Thalia’s message:

FROM T:

T: Would you be interested in having dinner with me and my step-brother tomorrow night? I really want you to meet him!

There was a series of X’s and O’s at the end that had Felix’s heart spiraling out of control. “Oh!” Chan grinned. “Is that your secret admirer?”

“Chan!” Felix whined. “She wants me to have dinner with at her brother’s house,” Felix said. “Holy shit! That means this is serious, right?”

“Congratulations, mate,” Chan said while slapping him on the shoulder. “I think you’ve got yourself a serious relationship!”

“Who, Felix?” Y/N scoffed when she re-entered the room. “I couldn’t help but overhear everything, but I’m having a hard time believing it.”

“She’s amazing,” Felix swooned. “I’m a total romantic now!”

“Felix settling down for one girl?” Y/N questioned. “I never thought I’d see the day!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Felix frowned.

“Nothing,” Y/N song-songed, and she invited them into the dining room where Felix played around with his food while he thought about his impending date.

“But what should I do about her brother?” Felix asked, looking back and forth between Y/N and Chan. “He might hate me!”

“Nobody could hate you Felix,” Chan said. “Just be yourself.”

“But with better manners,” Y/N inserted. “And maybe a nicer attitude-”

“Okay, I get it,” Felix huffed. “I need a lot of work.”

“We can practice right now,” Y/N suggested. “The table is set, and we can pretend like I’m Thalia and Chan is her brother.”

“What, like role-playing?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Y/N said. “That’s step number one.”

But Felix had the impression that this might take most of the night, and since he was more determined than ever to sweep Thalia off her feet, he allowed his brother and Y/N to teach him everything there was to know concerning the complicated art of being a model citizen and a top-tier boyfriend.

But despite the practice, Felix was a ball of nerves as he paced outside of Thalia’s apartment. His mind was focused on too many things at once: Did he look okay? Was he supposed to bring something? What if her step-brother was some kind of wrestler who could beat the hell out of him?

Yet, Felix could’ve never foreseen in his craziest dreams the unforgettable moments proceeding his gentle knock on the door when Thalia answered with someone standing next to her:

“Felix?”

“Changbin!” Felix squealed, and Thalia shot them both a confused look as she stood next to the entrance.

Oh, god, the wrestler would’ve been better!

“Do you two know each other?”

“Yeah,” Changbin said with narrowed eyes. “We do.”

“There’s...some history,” Felix said, and Thalia didn’t seem certain of how to address this sudden development.

“Well, you can come inside,” she said, and Felix flinched when she offered him a chaste kiss because Changbin was eyeballing the fuck out of him and Felix could barely remain standing. “I’m just finishing up in the kitchen! Make yourselves comfortable in the dining room.”

Felix nodded, but he watched her walk away with a feeling of dread. “I can’t say that I saw this coming,” Changbin said. “Tell me, Felix, what are your intentions with my sister?”

“Uhhh...” Felix couldn’t believe that his brain was failing him in that moment, but the shock of seeing Changbin had rendered him nothing more than a blabbering idiot. “She’s really cool.”

“Right,” Changbin snorted, and Felix quickly darted around him in the direction of the dining room because this was not what he rehearsed last night in the dozens of scenarios he practiced with Chan and Y/N.

“I made your favorite, Felix,” Thalia said when she brought out a tray from the kitchen.

“Thank you,” Felix said, and his tone was barely more than a whisper when he caught Changbin’s glare from across the table.

“I’m so glad we could do this,” Thalia said, and she sat down at the head of the table to look between them. “So, you must tell me how you met.”

“College,” Felix said, and he knew that was a vague answer, but Changbin was more than willing to pick up the pieces.

“You remember that girl I dated Freshman year, T?” Changbin asked, and he spooned himself a generous portion of food.

“Of course,” Thalia said and she rolled her eyes while looking in Felix’s direction. “It was so sad, babe. Changbin was dating this girl he liked and another man stole her away!”

“That’s not true!” Felix exclaimed, and Thalia startled at his harsh tone.

“Felix?” she murmured. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Felix said as he held tightly to his fork. “I just remember things a bit differently.”

“I bet you do,” Changbin retorted before turning to Thalia again. “Bang Chan is Felix’s brother.”

Thalia’s eyes immediately widened at the revelation. “Oh, so that means...”

“Yeah,” Changbin growled. “His sister-in-law is Y/N.”

Felix could feel his heart thundering inside his chest, and the table was silent thereafter, but Felix couldn’t help but wonder if this was what Y/N had meant by “worst possible scenario.”

Felix was certain that the universe was playing some sort of practical joke on him, but he never liked being the punchline.

After he left Thalia’s apartment, she called him to apologize for everything that happened. “Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for a few days,” she said, and Felix had felt his heart break in half.

But he respected Thalia’s opinion, even if Y/N was growing tired of his dejected behavior as he lazed around on the couch. He had explained everything to Y/N and Chan, and they were both shocked at the revelation of Changbin being Thalia’s step-brother. “What are the chances?” Y/N said. “It must’ve happened after we stopped dating.”

“Well, everything’s ruined,” Felix said, and he didn’t bother to change his poor attitude because he had never felt this sad before over losing another girl.

“You care a lot, Lix,” Chan had tried to explain to him. “You really liked her.”

“Yeah,” Felix agreed, but words weren’t enough to help him.

But actions always spoke louder, and Felix never anticipated seeing Changbin on the other side of the door when Y/N demanded that he greet their unexpected visitor. “Perfect,” Changbin said, and he pushed Felix inside so that he could shut the door.

“Felix, who was it?” Y/N asked, and she paused in the middle of the foyer when she noticed Changbin standing there. “Changbin?!”

“Glad we’re all on the same page,” Changbin said, and he glanced at Y/N for a moment before looking at Felix. “My sister isn’t one of your playthings, Felix.”

“I know,” Felix growled, but he wasn’t able to say anything else because Chan had wandered into the room, and he was immediately confrontational as he sneered down at Changbin.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I came to give Felix a warning,” Changbin said. “He needs to stay away from my sister!

“Isn’t that funny? It’s all come full circle right, Seo?” Chan snarled. “I’m married to your ex-girlfriend while my little brother is sleeping with your sister.”

“Well, we’ve only slept together once..” Felix said, but both Changbin and Chan shot him a glare.

“Oh, this is ridiculous,” Y/N intervened. “Changbin, you and I were never going to stay together! And our personal history shouldn’t have any impact on what you think of Felix and Thalia being together.”

“It doesn’t,” Changbin said. “But I remember what Felix was like in college.”

“What? He can’t change?” Y/N retorted.

“He’s too immature!” Changbin insisted, and Felix crossed his arms over his chest because he just about tired of Seo Changbin’s interference.

“Listen to me,” Felix said. “I like your sister a lot, Changbin, and I would never do anything to hurt her! She means more to me than those bad decisions I made in the past, and I’m not about to let you ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me!”

Felix took a deep breath following his exclamation, and he was proud of himself when Changbin averted his gaze. “I still don’t like it,” Changbin muttered.

“Well, it’s not your decision to make,” Felix said. “I’m coming to meet your sister tomorrow, and she’ll decide where we stand!”

It was a fierce declaration, and Felix had never felt more assured that he was finally doing the right thing.

FROM T:

We can meet in Changbin’s office building.

Felix received the message a few hours after he had sent a heartfelt plea to finally have a chance to speak to Thalia again. He really missed her company, and Felix was determined to fix everything and return their relationship to how it was before the drama with Changbin. And he was willing to meet her on whatever grounds she requested, even if that meant Changbin’s office building.

He arrived early because he was nervous, but Y/N offered him a few words of encouragement while he waited around her desk. Thankfully, Thalia didn’t keep him waiting for long, and she walked down the hallway with a glaring Changbin glued to her side. “Felix,” Changbin said, and he was still looking at Felix like he was the worst person in the world.

“Can Thalia and I talk alone?”

“What gives you the right?”

“Changbin,” Thalia inserted, and she gave her brother a knowing look.

And Felix raised a suggestive eyebrow at Changbin who scoffed and returned to his office while muttering about his misfortunes.

“Thank you for meeting me,” Felix said, and he guided them both to a pair of futons next to the windows.

“Well, I really missed you,” Thalia said, and Felix couldn’t stop his smile after hearing her sincere sentiment.

“The break is really hurting me,” Felix said. “I just want to be with you, Thalia, and I don’t want a past that doesn’t even belong to us get in the way.”

“I know,” Thalia agreed softly, and she finally leaned in to offer him a gentle kiss. “I guess this is our first test as a couple.”

“It won’t always be perfect,” Felix said. “But I feel like I’m willing to endure anything if it means being with you.”

Thalia giggled at his sweet words. “Let’s keep going, then, and see where this takes us.”

“I like the sound of that,” Felix agreed, and their next kiss was far more passionate - a solemn promise that cemented their status and invited a future full of endless possibilities.

#stayverse #skzwriternet #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #felix x oc #skz felix fanfic #lee felix fanfic #lee felix imagine #lee felix scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #mostlycompetent #requested

46 notes · View notes

bingus-bungus · 2 months ago

Text

going to answer this under the cut bcs i dont like waiting to ask questions and no one would send us the asks anyways ahhahahahahahahahha

traumagenic / stressgenic, if im understanding the question right

~30, definitely some fragments in there though

more introjects

uhhhhh barely any. for some reason only vylent, simon, iSH and maybeee F can see the headspace, simon says that his is an island and vylent and iSH refuse to tell me (rude)

yes, we have one we know is a subsys for sure, and others we're not sure if they just share the same source as normal or if they're a subsys

yes, agent 3, 4, and 8 are in some sort of awkward silly relationship, dove miiiiiight be in a relationship with jade but she hasnt confirmed that yet, and simon and stella are in a one-sided relationship but thats only because stella isnt sentient yet

I N T E R N E T

we try our best to keep track of roles but they just kinda. bleh

we find it useful when we're trying to see if a term exists for what we're thinking of, but we know there's some sort of controversy surrounding it so. idk if that makes our use of it valid or not

simply plural, although we usually notice changes in switches around 10 minutes after they actually happen, so its not like. always accurate

F may have been the host for a bit, but its very unlikely

no, closest thing we have to a name is the insert cool word collective, it was just a silly thing we made up so we had a name for our strawpage

marina, marina agitando, and agent 8 are octolings, agent 3, agent 4, and frye are inklings, ax is an octoling AND an inkling (and also a crow), ray is a rayquaza, nepeta is a troll (from hs) f but hes a cat and little petey are cats, and dog man is a dog (holy shit) im not sure if all of these count as nonhuman but shut your fuck up

not that we know of (vylent pleaseeeeeeeee_

uhhhhhh im not that interesting but F is in co-front rn so: we actually could not come up with anything interesting. we're like the two least interesting people here. F has the best handwriting here ig is that interesting

uhhh no

F (as previously mentioned before) has really good handwriting, and simon is very good at digital art, which is ironic considering his source takes place sometime during the 50s-60s

idk

a lot of things. usually what music to listen to, like. what to do in general, and what fandoms we should be in which is rlly stupid in my opinion

usually, we're all collectively autistic + depressioned, and anxietyed, but simon thinks he has dyslexia which im not sure if that can happen for like. one guy but uh. what was the question again i forgot

little petey probably counts as a syskid, but thats the only one we know of. some of us do age regress as a coping mechanism tho

this malt tastes like shit

kind of?

nepeta often goes back and reads homestuck, she doesnt really have a problem with it bcs nepeta isnt in hs^2 (aside from davepetasprite) but jade roxy and dove have kind of been trying to source separate (especially with jade since that last update). idk how any of the splatoon fictives got here, a few weeks before we discovered being a system we decided to go on hiatus of playing splatoon so. no. i could go on and on since we have so many fictives from so many different sources but. i dont think this wall of text looks quite appealing

doesnt apply to us

havent really though of that yet, we usually just think about the same future jay wished to have back before we found out we were plural

not yet

kind of outdated but yes

uhhhhhh too tired

most times any of us didnt get along they usually resolved it within like. 1-3 days. except for bill, he went into dormacy for like a month and came back saying he went through his redemtion arc (which he did)

not really? as previously mentioned x2 i have very good handwriting but im typing rn so.

i mean like, we dont really like it that much, theoretically, if an actual baby knew how to type, it probably would just type normal words but i can see why people do it. im okay with it as long as people provide translations so we can actually understand it

uh. we dont really know that much about dog man. hes a dog

jay has all of our collective interests, i feel like. when most of us split we got assigned like. one or two of those interests. whenever i visualize splitting or alter forming i always imagine cellular division idk

splaoton

nope

probably jade, since our trauma was somewhat related to homestuck, but i realized her and all the other hs alters formed to like. help us cope with that and shit. little petey was also a surprise since like. little petey, and F because he was a factive

we do, but we havent actually drawn them yet ;-;

collectively nonbinary, asexual, and demiromantic

whats a gender

we're all asexual

simply plural

whats a food

uhhhhhhh in the middle

maybe?? we've always had shit memory so its hard to tell whether its system related or not

we have this in our drafts. this was before we actually knew simon's personality, so we thought we was just "the crazy one". this was actually bill that said that

49. vanilla

50. only one i can think of is simon who has a chronic fear of water, which really isnt that silly, just scary because like how the fuck are we supposed to shower

51. bazingacore (idk)

52. not really

53. smirking face (yes, that was how we found out for sure actually)

54. no

55. only axolotl and ray

56. when we went trick-or-treating on halloween F (me i just need to write this in the third person so it sounds better) was fronting the entire time which was really weird because he had no idea who any of our friends were except for one of them

57. yes most of the time

58. not as much anymore, but we have a sp front status called "some other mf" and idk if that counts as handling it bu SHUT Ur fuckn up

59. not yet and i hope never

60.

not that accurate but like bazinga or whatever

Long system ask game!

Because it's been ages since we made one and we felt like it.

What type of system are you?

How many people are there in your system?

Do you have more introjects or non-introjects?

How much control do you have over your headspace (if you have one)?

Do you have any subsystems?

Do you have any in-system couples?

How did you discover your systemhood? Or did you become one on purpose?

How do you feel about system roles, and do you use them?

What are your thoughts on Pluralpedia?

Do you use anything to keep track of switching?

Have you ever had a change in hosts?

Do you have a system name? How did you pick it?

Do you have any nonhuman members? Feel free to list their species!

Do you have any headspace pets?

Current fronter/fronters, share some random info about you!

Do you have a partner system? How did you meet?

Have you ever mistaken a character of yours for a headmate? What about the other way around?

Does anyone have any skills that the others don't?

What's something y'all tend to agree on?

What about something you tend to disagree on?

Do symptoms of neurodivergencies/mental illness tend to manifest the same way or differently among headmates?

Do you have any syskids?

Share an in-system joke!

Has how you view your plurality changed?

If you have fictives, do they participate in their source fandom? If yes, are they open about who they are in fandom spaces?

How do you handle headmates having different spiritual beliefs?

How do you decide on major life decisions (where to live, what to study, what work to have, etc)?

Do you have any system traditons?

Current fronter, do you have your own playlist? Feel free to share it!

Do you have any art of anyone in the system? Feel free to show it off!

How do you handle it when people in the system don't get along?

Current fronter, is there anything that makes it obvious you're the one fronting? (Voice, accent, body language, typing style, etc)

If you have syskids, how do they feel about stereotypical "babby tawk"?

Share something about your newest member!

Do you tend to have collective or separate interests and hobbies?

If you have introjects, what source do you have the most from?

Are you out as plural to anyone irl?

Do you know any systems irl?

Which headmate was the biggest surprise?

Do you have a singletsona?

Do you have any collective labels?

What's the most common gender in your system?

What's the most common sexuality in your system?

What's your favorite app/website/etc for plural stuff?

Do you tend to have the same taste in food or not?

Is it hard or easy for you to switch?

Do you experience system-related amnesia?

Share something weird a headmate has done!

Current fronter, what's your favorite ice cream flavor?

Share a silly fear someone in the system has!

Current fronter, describe your aesthetic!

If you have outworld pets, do they tend to act differently around different headmates?

Has anyone ever figured out you were a system without you telling them?

When it comes to syskids, is there anyone in particular that takes care of them?

Does anyone in the system identify as otherkin, therian, or fictionkin?

Have you ever switched in an awkward moment? What happened?

Do you ever switch without realizing it?

Are you ever blurry? How do you handle it?

Has anyone ever treated an introject badly because of who their source is?

Current fronter, share a pic of your "face claim!"

#-jay #-f #-dove

489 notes · View notes

tr4shmouth-tozi3r · 5 years ago

Text

‘What are you, jealous?” - richie tozier x reader

requested: yes & I love this one as well, jealous Richie is just so hot😍 I also appreciate that u trusted me to do this justice with such a vague request, I hope you enjoy this because I definitely enjoyed writing it:)

summary: Richie loved you and sometimes he loved you a little too much. So much that he would let his imagination get the best of him and then he’d find himself feeling a little jealous. You didn’t mind it all the time, though; jealous Richie was hot.

you guys are like 17 here.

pairing: richie tozier x reader

warnings: swearing, angst, lil bit of smut;)

“H-H-Here, luh-let m-m-me help yuh-y-you.” Bill grabbed some of the books you were struggling to keep hold of in your arms. Your backpack was practically falling off of your shoulder. You sighed in relief and smiled at your friend.

“Thanks, Bill.” You handed some of your school books to him and all of a sudden you heard your boyfriend’s voice ring out in the cold fall air.

“Hey, babe!” His face was flustered and his jaw was clenched slightly. He looked worked up.

“Hey, Rich!” You smiled widely at him and let him envelope you in tight hug, before your face fell, “What’s up, you look upset?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” He mumbled as he tore your books out of Bill’s hands, “I got it, bud.” He flashed a sarcastic smile in Bill’s direction and you mentally laughed at how silly your boyfriend was being. Bill shook his head in amusement and said his goodbyes to you both before running off toward the front doors.

“What was tha-” Before you could finish your sentence his lips were pressing so hard against yours you thought they were going to bruise.

“Nothing..” He whispered, out of breath, as he pulled away from you. You blinked fast, trying to regain your composure and steady your breathing.

“Well, shit.” You swallowed the lump in your throat and blushed at your boyfriend who was smirking down at you.

This was not the last time today that Richie would find himself fuming with jealousy over you and Bill.

You had lunch period with Bill, Eddie, and Bev and Richie would try his hardest to sneak out of class sometimes and come visit you, which you thought was absolutely adorable.

Bill was telling a story about something funny Richie had pulled on Eddie a few summers back before you met them and you couldn’t help but laugh so hard you almost spit your milk out everywhere. You clutched Bill’s arm as the fits of giggles took over you.

“I remember that!” Bev cackled loudly and clutched her stomach, “Holy shit, I’m gonna cry, that’s hilarious! I totally forgot that happened!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, sooo funny guys.” Eddie rolled his eyes so hard you were surprised they didn’t fall right out of their sockets.

“What’s so funny?” You practically felt Richie’s eyes burning holes through your hand that was clutching Bill’s arm. You let go and squeezed your eyes shut before sighing as the rest of the table quieted down. You already knew he was in a jealous mood ever since this morning and that arm grab totally wasn’t helping your case.

“Bill had to go and bring up that time a few years back at the town parade when you made a fool out of me in front of everyone and had me dressed up like an idiot in the parade, which by the way, we weren’t even supposed to be in...” He grumbled.

“Wow, I even forgot about that.” Richie laughed, but it was a forced laugh. You had to admit, your boyfriend was totally overdramatic, but sometimes you couldn’t help but notice how hot he was when he was jealous.

“It wuh-was a p-pi-pi-pivotal moment i-i-in our fuh-f-friend g-gr-group, I h-h-had to r-r-reflect on i-it.” Bill spoke in amusement and Richie snorted at him.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Richie was definitely not amused. He squished his way between you and Bill and the awkward silence that fell over the five of you was not something you could ignore.

Oh boy...

You and Richie were walking to the quarry so you could hangout for a bit after school. He knew how much you hated going right home. Your parents had been fighting quite often lately and it was beginning to stress you out a lot more than usual. You were almost certain there was a divorce in the near future and the thought of your parents splitting up devastated you.

“G-G-Guys!” You both twirled around to see Bill biking his way over to you. You didn’t need to look at Richie to know his jaw was clenching like it always did whenever he was worked up, “Y-Y-You fuh-f-forgot y-y-your h-hi-history buh-b-b-book at l-lunch, y/n.” Bill was out of breath from riding his bike so fast to catch up with the two of you and you smiled warmly at him as you grabbed the textbook from his hand.

“Thanks, Bill.”

“Yeah, thanks Bill.” Richie’s voice came out in a high-pitched whine and you raised an eyebrow at him.

“I do not sound like that.”

“Uhhh…” Bill slowly turned around as the two of you began to bicker and he rode off before he could get anymore involved in the mess.

“Yeah, well that’s what you sound like whenever Bill’s around.” He was being so genuine that you stepped back away from him for a moment.

“What are you, jealous?” He stayed quiet and didn’t answer for a moment, “You’re actually serious right now?”

He shuffled his feet and looked down before sighing angrily, “Yeah, you know, he does things that I’m supposed to do for you. He carries your stuff, he makes you laugh to the point you’re literally holding onto him. He holds your things that you forget at lunch, all day long and then chases you down after school to give them to you. That's... that's boyfriend stuff. Stuff that I should be doing and it drives me absolutely crazy when it’s not me, but it’s him instead and you just don’t even realize how much it bothers me. For fuck sake, you might as well date Bill!” He threw his hands up in the air, emphasizing his words and you felt like he might have had a point. Bill was harmless, though. He would never do anything to hurt you and Richie’s relationship. Atleast, not on purpose. Richie really could let his imagination get the best of him sometimes.

“Rich-”

“No, I already know what you’re going to say and fuck, I know, I know. It still drives me crazy,” He stepped closer to you, grabbing your hips and digging his fingernails into them, “But I hate feeling like someone else has you the way I have you, because you’re mine and no one else’s and I’ll be damned if I let someone else do the things I should be doing for you.” He leaned into you, breathing against your lips. You could tell he was super worked up because his heart was practically beating out of his chest and against you and his face was flushed and... and he was turned on?

You clenched your legs together and inhaled a shaky breath, trying to register exactly how this got so hot so fast, “Rich, babe, are you turned on?” You let a small smile tug at your lips and you watched as he licked his lips.

“I mean, all this built up frustration had to come out somehow and I guess it chose to come out sexually. Why,” He let his breath mingle with yours, “Does that bother you?” He whispered and he reached up letting his hand cup your face and his thumb ran over your cheek softly as you shut your eyes and hummed sweetly.

“No, not at all.” You yelped suddenly, feeling his cold fingers slide up and under the skirt you had put on this morning, deciding you might as well wear it one last time before it got super cold. You were definitely thankful you had chosen to wear it.

“R-Richie.. we’re at the quarry, this is totally not the place.”

“Oh, c’mon, it’ll be fun,” He mumbled into your skin as he planted hot wet kisses along your neck, “And no one else ever comes here, especially in this weather. It’s just me and you.” You swallowed suddenly, your throat becoming dry from the way your breathing had picked up.

“Okay fine, I don't even care. You’re driving me nuts.” He smirked at the way you grinded your hips up, trying desperately to create some sort of friction and he leaned away, snaking his hand passed the band of your panties.

You moaned as his fingers ran along your folds, “You’re so wet, babe.” He cooed.

“What can I say, jealous Richie turns me on a lot more than I would have thought. I should make you jealous more often, huh?” You purred against his lips and he plunged a finger inside of you.

“Don’t make me mad.” His voice was low and his eyes were dilated and god, he was sexy.

“If you don’t want me to make you mad or jealous, then stopping being so sexy when you’re either of those things.” You bit your lip and let a soft moan escape your throat as he added another finger, sliding them into you further this time.

“Well, if it’s going to end like this I might have to be okay with that, huh?” He whispered before pulling his fingers out of you and reaching down to undo his pants.

“Yes, yes, yes.”

So, this was short and I could have totally done better, but I’m trying to work on the requests as fast as possible. I’m sorry if the anon that requested this was not pleased with it, but I think it could have been a lot worse. Looool.

The rest of the requests will be up within the next few hours, bare with me here:’)

#jealous richie #this is actually hot af #richie tozier #richie tozier x reader #richie tozier smut #richie #finn #finn wolfhard #it imagines #personal requests #request #it fanfic #hope u enjoyed #this sorta sucked #totally hate myself #I tried

1K notes · View notes

nightwingshero · 4 years ago

Note

Can I get uhhh a number 6 for WrenMike so I can officially leave this fandom in shame? x

Abos-fucking-lutely! You’re not allowed to leave though! Also...I’m very sorry...because this is...oof. I’m gonna go hide now. IT’S NSFW FOR A REASON, OKAY?! I AM SO SORRY!!!!

I sighed, downing the rest of my bourbon, trying to focus on it instead of the steady scent of his cologne next to me. If you had told me that this was what I would be doing a month ago, I would have laughed and punched you in the face. Because I thought everything was so perfect, and the last person I needed in my company was Michael fucking Hughes.

But here I was, the both of us drinking away. It started with his usual banter, the sly smirk and wiggle of his eyebrows, but slowly it turned into something else. Sensing something was wrong, he sat--without my permission--next to me, ordered us another round, and just talked. That must have been the biggest hint, because when had I not risen to his bait?

It wasn’t a therapy session by far, Mike was in no way qualified for that shit. But, as much as it pained me to say, it did make me feel a little better. Hearing him talk about how he understood, and then finding some dumbass thing to say to try and make me smile. It shocked us both when it actually worked.

I eyed him, setting my empty glass on the bar. He’d gotten rid of his jacket long ago, the heat of the Spread Eagle becoming too much for it. His hair was a bit messy from him running his hand through it so many times, and I almost giggled at how adorable he looked doing it. His shirt fit nicely, and you could see the outlines of his muscles. I feel the sudden urge to reach out and touch them--

Jumping from my chair, I stagger a bit, capturing his attention. “You alright there, doll?”

“Going to the bathroom.” I muttered as I walked away quickly. Bursting through the door, I clutch the counter tightly before turning the sink on. I cupped my hands, and splashed the cool water on my face, hoping for some clarity. And while it helped some, it didn’t help in the way I needed it to. Naturally, I weighed my options. Would it be so wrong to just give in? I bite my lip, pressing my thighs together tightly as I remember how heated his gaze.

Catching my own gaze in the mirror, I can tell I’ve already made up my mind. I feel calm then, as if everything fell into place. I adjust my skin tight black dress, and leave the bathroom. He’s checking his phone when I get to him, so he doesn’t notice me approach. But his head jerks the second I place my hand on his shoulder, and lean in, my lips brushing his ear.

I can feel his shiver, so I know I have his attention, but I decide to push it a bit further by placing my other hand on the inner of his thigh, barely brushing his jeans. “You wanna get out of here?”

“I--ah,uhm.” he took a second to clear his throat before continuing. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s go.” I take his hand after he throws a few bills on the table and grabs his jacket, and I ignore the daggers Mary May is throwing my way.

Outside is a lot cooler and more deserted. With this late at night, we could probably get away with what I had in mind. His car was parked in the back, mostly hidden in the dark. My heart hammered as we made our way to it.

“You wantin’ me to take you home?” he asked, a teasing tilt to his tone. “A little too tipsy to drive--”

Turning, I tugged him closer, his body slamming into mine as I hit the car, the cool metal hitting my thighs. I’m breathing heavy as I look up at him, and he smirks even wider.

“Wanting something else then, hmm?” His hands finally find my hips and I can’t help but be somewhat entranced. He was so different than what I was used to. It’s his turn to lean in and whisper in my ear. “And what would Little Johnny say now?”

“John’s not here.” I ground out, ignoring the pang in my chest. Michael pulls back, his eyes going soft for just a moment.

“You know, I never thought the Queen of Holland Valley herself would descend enough to let this happen. Never thought I’d be doing this with--”

I sigh heavily as I grip the lapels of his jacket tightly and try and pull him forward, but he’s rock solid. “Would you just shut up and kiss me already?” I snapped.

Michael didn’t need much more persuasion than that and his lips crashed against mine. He wasn’t gentle, and I was thankful, because that’s not what I wanted. He grips my hips tighter and the pressure of it is pleasure all in itself, enough to make me gasp and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in.

He’s shockingly dominant and it’s hard to believe, but I’m melting against him. His hands travel, pressing me harder against him as he cups my ass with one hand and grabs my hair with the other. With a nice little tug, he angles my face so he can deepen the kiss and I moan. If anything, Michael Hughes was an excellent kisser.

I gasp in shock when he pulls away, and I can’t breathe with his eyes burning the way they are now. His eyes travel down, taking in my dress and body as his fingers trace the edge of it. I suddenly feel insecure and I wish I had worn something else.

“John always hated this dress.” I muttered, suddenly too shy to look at him.

Michael just scoffed before gripping the fabric tightly. “Well, he’s a fucking idiot. I fucking love this dress. Damn girl, I wanna fuck you now more than I ever have.”

He shoves the dress over my hips, and I’m gasping for air, because I wasn’t expecting that. A heated make out session, sure, but this? “We’re in public, Mike.” I breathed out.

“Guess we should give them one helluva show then, doll. And you look fucking gorgeous enough to do it.” Shoving his hand under my thong, his fingers finding just how wet I’ve gotten for him in such a short amount time. “For me, hun? Oh, you shouldn’t have.”

He knows me well. Well enough to know that I’m about to shoot a retort at him, and he takes advantage of that. Without restraint, he rubs my clit fast, and I’m unprepared, so I can’t stop the high pitched moans that are coming from me. Michael just smiles before he holds my face, covering my mouth as he does.

I’m too drunk to care as I feel my eyes roll back, my knees are getting weak and my heart just keeps pounding. I grip his arm tightly because it’s too much too fast, but he doesn’t stop. My nails dig into his skin, and we both know I really don’t want him to stop, not for a second. The car behind me is all the support I have as he works me expertly with his fingers.

“Feels good, doesn’t it? Told you I could treat you better than him.”

And that’s what makes me cum. I almost collapse, but he doesn’t let me. I’m breathing heavily as he holds me. I hate it, but I’m only partially satisfied, and to show him I want more, I rub hand over the erection straining in his jeans. His head falls back with a moan.

“Holy fuck, yes, you’re perfect. Turn around, we’re not done.” He turns me, pressing me against his Chevy, and shoves my thong to the side. I can hear his zipper and a crinkle of plastic before he’s at my entrance with a quick slap on my ass. I whimper, shifting to try and get closer, to get him inside, but he won’t let me. “Wren, you want this, sweetheart?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” I hissed. “Fuck me, Michael. Please.”

He pushes in, all the way to the hilt and I’m practically squealing at the feeling, and he keeps up a rough and fast pace that has me curling my toes. It’s not comfortable, being bent over a car like this, but I couldn’t care less. Michael made me feel things I haven’t in a long time, and part of me knew that this wouldn’t be a one time thing. It was too good to be.

I bite my lip to try and stay quiet because we’re still out here, and at any point someone could find us. Michael’s hands are to busy pulling my hair and holding my hip to keep me in place to do it for me. And eventually, I can’t help it, even as my lip bleeds. He’s hitting the right spots and I’m already so close again.

“God, you feel good. How the fuck could anyone give this up?” he groaned. “Is it good, baby?”

“Fuck yes.” I moaned. “Harder, Mike, please.”

“Anything for you, doll. Just keep saying my name just. Like. That.” he punctuated each word with a sharp thrust, and I cried out his name again as he pounded harder into me. There was nothing to hold onto as I came undone around him, my walls contracting around him as he continued. Michael wasn’t far behind, and with a whisper of my name and a grunt, he hit his own climax.

We stayed still for a moment, our heavy breathing mixing with the loud noise of the bar. I don’t know what to say, unsure of where to go from here. It happened faster than I thought it would, and I have a sinking feeling at the thought of having to go home alone now. But he breaks the silence, pulling me away from my thoughts.

“So...I was gonna ask earlier, but we got kinda busy. You wanna...go to my place?”

20 notes · View notes

zanybohbot · 5 years ago

Text

The Outsiders: Camp Squit

The Outsiders: Camp Squit (Episode 4)

Published: 10-19-19 - Updated: 10-21-19

Squit planned an idea of what's happening in this weekend as he planned to go camping with Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko. Will the others ruin it for him? Will it cause cringy chaos? Read what happens and find out. This is the 4th fanfiction episode of The Outsiders.

Part 1: The Arrival

(Brain is driving in the woods with Squit, Pinky, Pesto and Wakko for their camping trip.)

Squit: As we're near, I thought I'd run through the itinerary for this weekend.

Wakko: What's an itinerary?

Pesto: (annoyed) Squit's way of taking the piss outta everything?

Squit: No, it's just a schedule of what we'll do and when we'll do it.

Pinky: Okay, item one, get your shit off my side of the car! (pushes Squit's suitcase)

Squit: It's not shit. It's essentials for everyone to make the trip more enjoyable!

Pinky: Oh, really? (Gets out Monopoly from Squit's suitcase) Monopoly?! Y'fuckin' serious?! This is tha most shitty-ass game you've ever bought! Look. All we need is beer and weed and I've got plenty of both.

Squit: Why have you brought a load of weed?

Pinky: In case I get lucky and stoned.

Squit: But we're camping by a lake near a woods.

Pinky: Listen, all these country bitches love some big city diugh.

Squit: You're not from the big city!

Pinky: Well growing up in da hood counts as a city to them!

Brain: (frustrated) Pesto, look at the map, please! Where is it?!

Pesto (checks phone) Uhhh...I dunno. It's around here somewhere. Th-the next left or something.

Brain: (sarcastically) And that's what Google Maps says, "The next left or something"?

Pesto: Sorry, dude, I'm running outta brain juice. What if I have to literally give birth with the babe from Walmart I had sex with? Can you imagine how fuckin' disgusting that'll be, watching that baby getting squeezed outta her ass?

Squit: Okay, I've got some news, Pesto. Do ya...

Pesto: Oh, here we are, B. Turn left.

(Brain turns left to the nearest forest.)

Brain: Oh, Jesus Christ, it stinks. Is it near a pig farm, Pesto?

Pesto: Sorry, that was me. It just slipped out.

(they all gag and moan by the smell)

Pinky: What?! (holds nose)

Brain: Ugh! I can't believe that's the smell of your ass!

Squit: I think I'm gonna throw up!

Wakko: I can fucking see it! It's like a brown mist!

(Squit N/R: Despite Pesto's anxious bowels burning our eyes and choking our lungs, we made it to the forest. I'd researched this place online and it certainly delivered. Secluded. Remote. Beautiful.)

(All 5 were standing in the forest.)

Pesto: So...where do we shit?

Squit: What?

Pesto: When we need to shit, where do we shit?

Pinky: Hang on, he's right. Where are we gonna shit?

Squit: Well, usually, you'd place a trench at least.

Pesto: Well, what trench, smart-ass?!

Squit: The toilet trench.

Wakko: Where you place the public bathrooms?

Squit: No, it's where you DO a public bathroom.

Pesto: (whacks Squit in the head) Fuck you, I'm not shittin' in a trench! Dafuq's the matter with ya?!

Pinky: Dude, you're fuckin' high.

Brain: I'm not going near a hole filled with your shit!

Squit: (rubbing his head) No. We each get our own trench. That's what I'm sayin'.

Brain: (sarcastically) Oh, OK. Yeah 'coz that makes sense!

Wakko: We're camping surrounded by shit?

Pinky: No! No-one's shittin' in a trench! That's disgustin', I'm not gonna do it! We'll have to drive to tha bar or a convenience store or something.

Pesto: Shit there?

Pinky: Shit there.

Wakko: Good idea.

Brain: Agreed.

Pinky: Then, that's decided, write that down, Squit, item two.

Squit: Could do. Or you could remember to shit in the bar when we're there anyways?! Now, c'mon. Let's get this tent up.

Pesto: I need to go now, tho.

Squit: What? Just hold it in!

Pesto: I can't, I get emotional.

Squit: We only just got here, Pesto! Camp first, shit second!

Pesto: I don't think I can, I'm honestly gettin' teary here, it feels like it's trying to push its way back up into my stomach!

Wakko: Great. I need one now, too.

Brain: What about that gas station we've just past?

Pesto: (panicking, holding his ass) Oh, God, the snake's out the cave!

Squit: Fine. Everyone, back in the car.

(They got back in the car and drove to the nearest gas station.)

(Squit N/R: So our camping trip was shortly delayed while Pesto left what he described as "King Kong's finger" in the Welcome Break bathrooms. Pesto genuinely felt better about life after unloading a massive turd. And now the car was unloaded, so did I.)

(Back at the forest.)

Squit: First need to clear the ground, make sure the site is safe and then put up our tent.

Pinky: Fuck dat, let's just crack open the beers and build a fuckin' massive fire up in this bitch!

Squit: You can't just build a fire. It takes preparation. I mean, have we even asked the landowner's permission?

Brain: (frustrated) Squit, c'mon! I didn't come here for a refresher course in the Countryside Code. I just wanna get pissed and have fun. Otherwise, I won't be able to do any of this in Wales.

Pinky: What, 'coz there's no fields?

Brain: No, 'coz I won't have any friends of my kind.

Pinky: You won't need friends. Welsh hoes are totally horny.

Brain: Are they?

Pinky: Yeah. Pretty much all British porn stars are Welsh, even though they are popular here in America. Most of them don't even get paid, they just do it for dick.

Brain: (sarcastically) Oh, OK, made-up sluts. Now I'm glad I'm going to Swansea. Oh, fucking hell, Swansea! I have to see my grandpa for a WHOLE WEEK in Swansea!

Squit: Fine, Brain, look if you really want, I'll build you a fire. Y'all put the tent up, I'll go and find some suitable wood and kindling.

Wakko: All right, Akela. HA!

Squit: But remember, fire is an element, it must be respected.

(He leaves to find some wood.)

(Squit N/R: Camping's all about self-reliance and teamwork. And I knew I could rely on myself to create the perfect camp and my team fucking it all up.)

(When he came back, he saw his stuff from his suitcase being burnt down with fire as his suitcase was open, it causes him to have a panic attack and drops all of the wood he just found.)

Squit: WHAT...THE...FUCK HAVE YA DONE!?

Pinky: Y'okay, Squit?

Wakko: (tried to hand Squit a cooked sausage) Want a sausage?

Pesto: Calm down. I just got it going and I didn't even need a fire gay's badge.

Pinky: Nah, just some diesel.

Squit: You put diesel on it? Wait a minute. Is that my fold-out table on the fire? (gasp) And my picnic basket?!

Pinky: I thought you said look for stuff to burn.

Squit: (getting angry) Wood, burn fucking wood, not my stuff! Oh, for Christ's sake! Why would ya do that?!

Pesto: Look, someone had to take charge of this weekend or it's gonna be all Monopoly and shitting in trenches!

Brain: Look, come on, sit down, have some weed, have a beer, have a sausage. Just chill.

Squit: I'll chill when y'all stop burning up my fuckin' valuable possessions to dust!

Pinky: (teasing) Oh, but I thought they were for "everyone"?

Squit: Yes, for everyone to use, not to burn up with! God.

(Wakko saw the fire going down so he puts Squit's fold-out chair on top of it.)

Squit: What the hell are you doing now?!

Wakko: Fire's going down.

Squit: (getting furious) STOP...BURNING...MY...THINGS!

Wakko: (angrily) Sorry, I forgot. (flips his chair off the fire) Jeez!

(Squit N/R: We were barely an hour from home, but somehow that meant that burning my possessions was not only OK, but hilarious.)

Part 2: R.I.P. Brain's Shitty Car

(Squit was sitting down still looking pissed off because of what happened earlier.)

Brain: Oh, come on, we're sorry. It was just a joke.

Wakko: We'll do whatever you want to cheer you up.

Pinky: Anything you like.

Squit: (smiled) Game of Monopoly?

(The others moan about this)

Pinky: Oh, fuck off!

Pesto: Boooooooooooooo! Y'suck!

Brain: Apart from that.

Pinky: Look, if you wanna play a game, I've got a proper game, not a shitty one, especially Monopoly. Though thinking about it, y'all might be too pussy to play.

Wakko: It's not that game that you used to play with your weird neighbour in his shed, is it?

Pinky: (looks nervous) Well, that never happened.

Wakko: Yeah, you told me about 8 years ago. Just after he moved away.

Pinky: No, I never. Shut up, dumbass!

(Wakko looks confused)

Pinky: OK, to start with, y'all have to swap phones. Squit, you swap with mine. Brain, I'll swap with your phone. Wakko and Pesto can swap each others and Pesto can swap with Squit.

(They all swap phones.)

Brain: Okay...now what?

Pinky: Now you text someone in their phone book. So when you text someone, they'll think it's from him.

Wakko: So does that mean I have to write it all posh and like all hurdy wurdy durdy?

Pinky: Nope. The only rule is you can write whatever you like and no-one can stop you.

Squit: I just wanna say, for the record, there's no way anything good can come outta this.

Pinky: Whatever. Ready? Go.

(They all text.)

Pinky: I've only got five numbers in my phone, and four of them are four of y'all, so do ya worst.

Pesto: Well, as long as one of the others is Squit's mama, you're still in trouble.

Squit: (looking disgusted) Pesto, come on, that's too much.

Pinky: Sorry, it's literally the point of the game, y'know.

Squit: Awww...fuck. Fine!

Pinky: Right, homies, finished?

Wakko: (finished texting) That's it, send 'em.

Pinky: Good, now swap back.

(They swapped back their phones.)

Pinky: Good, so I wrote, from Brain's phone to Billie, "Bills, I love you from the bottom of my ding-a-ling. The thought of leaving you is making me cum." (laughs)

Brain: (embarrassed) Oh, god.

Pinky: "And I'm using those tears as lube to jerk myself off with."

Brain: (sarcastically/disgusted) Gee, thanks, Pinky.

Squit: Don't worry, B, I texted Pinky's dad and wrote, "Dad, I'm just thinking about you."

Pinky: (whispered) Hmph, pussy.

Squit: "I'm in the bath and I'm hard." (laughs)

Pinky: (angrily) Holy fuck! Damnit, you've won this round!

Brain: Pesto? What about you?

Pesto: Fairly standard to Squit's mama. "Ma, it's been 29 years, but I'd love to have another go on your big fake-ass tits."

Squit: (embarrassed) God. No.

Pesto: "Then I'd like to smash in your back doors (anus)."

Squit: (sarcastically) So it'll come up that I've sent her a text, she'll think, "Good, he's just letting me know I'm proud of him," then she'll read that? Yep, thanks Pesto!

Pesto: No probs. Wak, who did you send to?

Wakko: I presume, your dad? I wrote "Your gay as fuck." HA!

(There was a short silence as Pesto looks pissed)

Pesto: (he snatches his phone back from Wakko) Gimme my phone back!

Wakko: Wait, I've also wrote for Saucy Walmart Karen.

Pesto: Wait, did ya?

Wakko: Hell yeah, I've written, "Karen, I love you and love that you are to be the mother of my child. Marry me?"

Pesto: Oh, c'mon!

Pinky: Nice.

Pesto: I only met her a month ago. She smells like cheese most of the time.

Pinky: What, 'coz of all dat dick she sucked?

Pesto: Yes...no...maybe...I DUNNO! God, I thought coming out here would take me mind off it, but the countryside's really boring! It's just a load of fields and rivers. And they don't do anything. They just sit there doing jack, it's not like The Blair Witch Project where people jump out at you.

Pinky: He's right, it is boring.

Wakko: Shall we go back?

Brain: Oh, no, come on, we could go for a swim? Skinny dipping? (The others look slightly disgusted) Yeah, you're right, probably be a bit gay.

Squit: Well, there's always Monopoly.

(They moan once again.)

Pinky: Fuck, fine, as long as I can be the dog.

Squit: Why?

Pinky: Reminds me of Benji.

(Squit N/R: This was great. Camping. Playing board games round the fire as the sun went down. It was like I was back in Cub Scouts, but without the unpleasantness.)

(At night, they were still playing Monopoly.)

Pinky: Miami, with a hotel, that's $1,500 you owe me, Top Hat.

Squit: Can I pay you after I pass Go? I'm nearly there.

Pinky: Nope.

Squit: (frustrated) Oh, c'mon. This is impossible. I can barely see. I've not been able to see anything for fuckin' hours! Let's just stop.

Brain: OK, we'll call it a draw.

Pinky: Fuck you, just because I'm winning and all you've got is just cities!

Pesto: I'm happy to call it a draw, y'know.

Pinky: Course you are, 'coz you were out four hours ago anyway, you fuckin' idiot!

Pesto: Y'all think I'm dumb, but I've got street smarts!

Brain: You got a woman from Walmart pregnant in her lunch hour.

Pesto: (pondered) Oh.

Pinky: I'll build another fire.

Squit: It's too dark to collect wood and you've burnt everything I own!

Pinky: Well, fine, I'll...I'll get Brain's shitty car and shine the lights over here.

Brain: Fine. Here ya go. (hand's Pinky his car keys)

Pinky: Thanks, mah boy!

(Pinky runs to Brain's car and turns on the headlights.)

(Squit N/R: This was embarrassing. I hadn't lost a game of Monopoly since I was 7. And yet I was about to be beaten by Pinky, a man who took pride in the fact that he couldn't count to 100.)

Squit: He really wants to win, doesn't he? I never knew he was so competitive.

Pesto: (eating sausages) I can't get enough of these sausages.

Wakko: (eating sausages) Yeah. I love 'em raw in the middle.

Pinky: Right, done. (he gets out of the car and shuts the door) Mission accomplished! Now you owe me $1,500. And you can pay me right fuckin' now!

(Brain's car was about to roll down into the lake.)

Brain: Pinky, my fucking car! (he stops his car from going down) Handbrake?

Pinky: Oh, shit, sorry.

Brain: Quick, everyone. Stop it!

(The others stopped the car except for Pinky.)

Brain: Pinky, help!

Pinky: Okay, calm your tits! (as he helped stopping the car)

Brain: (tried to unlock it) It's locked. Pinky, throw me the keys.

Pinky: I don't have them.

Brain: The fuck are you talkin' about, what do you mean you don't have them?!

Pinky: I gave them to you.

Brain: No, you didn't.

Pinky: Yeah, I did.

Brain: (getting angry) No, you fucking didn't!

Pinky: Brilliant, someone's gone and lost the fuckin' keys.

Squit: (looks at Pinky while being concerned) Yes, you. You've lost them.

Brain: You must have locked them in the car. (he panics) Oh, God! Oh, God!

Squit: Sorry, Brain. We'll have to smash a window or something.

Brain: (furious) Pinky, you dolt, Imma kill you for that!

Pinky: It's not my fault.

Brain: It is entirely your fault!

Pinky: I always lock my car like that!

Pesto: But yours must be different.

Wakko: It's shitty, for one.

Brain: (sarcastically angry) Thanks, Wak!

Pinky: If my lil' bro was here, he'd be able to get into it in two seconds flat. He used to jack Ferraris in New York City for the Mafia.

Brain: (bops Pinky in the head with a pencil in anger) How is that total bullshit helpful?!

Squit: Enough! OK, you three hold it. We'll go and find something to smash a window with.

Pinky: (rubbing his head looking dizzy) Hey! Why do me, Pesto and Wak have to hold the fuckin' car?!

Squit: Well, obviously, because you three are the strongest.

(Pinky, Pesto and Wakko hold the car.)

Pesto: Huh. It's true, we are.

Brain: What the fuck, why are there no rocks?! It's the countryside! Why aren't there any fuckin' rocks?! What are we gonna smash the window with now?!

Squit: Well, I dunno. Pinky's face?!

(Brain and Squit leave to find the rocks.)

Pinky: My arms hurt. I don't know why they're bothering to get rocks anyways. The way I look at it, it's inevitable that the car's gonna dive into the lake.

Wakko: I suppose it's nature. You can't fight nature.

Pesto: Exactly.

Pinky: It's going in anyway, I'm legitimately sweatin', my arms achin', we might as well just let go.

Pesto: Do you think Brain will kill us all?

Pinky: How can he? He hates it anyways. It's logical. We can't stop it.

Wakko: We are stopping it now.

Pinky: It's inevitable, Wak, trust me. We'll let go after three, do ya hear?

Pesto & Wakko: Gotcha.

Pinky: One, two, three. Go!

(They let go of the car as the car starts rolling down again. Brain and Squit finally got some rocks but Brain saw his car going down as he panicked and dropped the rocks.)

Brain: NO! Oh, God. Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

(The car went into the lake as there was a short silence, then Pesto picked the rock up and smashed the back window.)

Brain: Why did you do that?!

Pesto: You said smash a window. Look, there ya go!

Brain: NO! No, no, no! (Brain went into the lake and tried to get his car out and shortly gives up, looking at Pinky, Squit, Pesto and Wakko furiously) You assholes. You total pair of fuckin' scumbags!

Pesto: Relax, B. We'll just wait 'til morning and rescue it when the tide's out.

Brain: It's just a fucking lake, Pesto, the tide isn't going out! (He emotionally tears up) I've wasted my whole 14 years hanging around with you fuckin' morons! I wish I'd never met y'all at all! I can't wait to move to Swansea! I fuckin' hate you, fuck you! FUCK YOU!

Squit: Come on, Brain, come outta the water and dry off, you could get sick, I'm sure we'll think of something.

Brain: You never think of anything. You've just got an accent that makes us think you're clever, but you're not, are ya?! You're just as much of a fuckin' idiot as these three!

Squit: (he frowns) Wow, harsh.

Brain: You scumbags, you total, total scumbags! (he continues to get the car out) Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! (he gives up trying to get the car out)

Wakko: Do you want a lager, B?

Brain: Yes, please.

(Brain got out of the lake as they all go back to the camping area.)

Pinky: (he took Brain's keys out of his back pocket) Oh, shit! I did have the keys.

Squit: Uhhh...yeah. Probably wouldn't mention it. Like ever!

Pinky: Y'right! As a matter of fact! (he throws the car keys into the lake and leaves)

(Squit N/R: So, Brain's shitty yellow Fiat was gone forever.)

The Final Part: A Disgustingly Happy Ending

(But look on the bright side, at least Pinky did beat me at Monopoly now despite I've lost $1,500. But the last thing I wanted to have is Pesto burning my $10,000 suitcase for fire.)

(Squit and Brain watching Squit's suitcase being burnt down.)

Squit: Hey. Which do you think burns better, B, my suitcase or my dignity? Heh, heh, heh, heh. (sighs all sadly)

Brain: Yeah, ha-ha. Nice try, but this is now officially the worst night I've ever had. Let's just go home.

Wakko: How?

Squit: Call your dad, B. If you think about it, it's sort of his fault we're here anyways.

Brain: Ha, sorry, no chance. He's gonna go ballistic about picking us up at 2 in the morning. What about your lil' bro, Pinky?

Pinky: Nah. He's out with my dad, private poker tournament in Las Vegas with Danny Dyer and the Krays.

Squit: Wait. Aren't the Krays dead?

Pinky: No! That's just a cover story cos they done a bunk from prison. They're holed up in one of me dad's warehouses.

Brain: Of course.

(short silence)

Pinky: Shall we swap phones again to cheer us all up.

Squit: Sure, why not.

(They all swap their phones back to their previous precision)

Pinky: (reads text) Oh, Brain, you got a message for your insurance company, they said, "We're sorry about the car. One of our retarded staff sended you the wrong car. Just burn it, dump it, kill it with fire. We're sorry for the delay for the last 2 years. Your old one will be back in 2 days." Hmph, looks like you're not in trouble at all, Brain.

Brain: (confused but relieved) Huh, that was anticlimactic. Plus, I knew they tried to rip me off anyways.

Squit: (reads text) Oh. Looks like your dad and your brother are taking a break from that made-up poker tournament, Pinky. Your dad's just texted you back.

Pinky: Oh, shit. What did he say?

Squit: "You're sick, son. Your ma was right about sending you to that shrink."

Pinky: (looks nervous) What's he on about, that fuckin' asshole? Talkin' jack-shit as usual.

Wakko: (checks phone) You got a text, too, Pesto. It's from your babe. Maybe you should read it. (gives phone back to Pesto)

Pesto: Oh, thank you, God. Thank you.

Pinky: She said yes to the marriage proposal?

Pesto: Even better. It says, "You dopey prick. Not pregnant. Tested positive for" What's that say, Squit?

Squit: (read carefully) "Chlamydia."

Pesto: Nice! (short silence) Dafuq's chlamydia?

Squit: Well, how shall I put this, Pesto? You no longer have a child on the way but you do have an STD.

Pesto: (celebrates) I got an STD! Yes, an STD! Whoo!

Pinky: (continues to reads texts) Oh. It's from Billie and your dad. It says… (Brain snatches his phone back from Pinky) Douche!

(Brain reads the text from Billie and his dad, then suddenly smiles.)

Pinky: (curiously) Well?

Squit: Shall we go to bed? It is getting late.

Wakko: Yep, good idea.

(They all went in the tent.)

Pinky: Well...what did it say?

(Squit N/R: Brain was never this cagey. When it came to Billie or his dad, he normally wore his heart on his sleeve and his boner in his pants. Maybe he had other things on his mind.)

(Brain looks at the light in the tent while he was lying down.)

Brain: (slightly annoyed) So we had a light this whole time?

Pinky: Oh, shit, yeah. Forgot about that one. Sorry, man.

Brain: So, my car went into the lake for no reason?

Pesto: I'm upset too, B. I got my first hand job in that car. Who's gonna wanna gimme a hand job when I'm a dad?

Pinky: You're not gonna be a dad, remember, Pesto?

Pesto: (pondered) Oh, yeah!

Pinky: Whatever. Look, even if we did get it out, I doubt it would work anyway. I think the engine's flooded.

Brain: Is that supposed to be funny, Pinky?

Pinky: Did I say it was funny tho?

Brain: (pondered) Good point. I also felt happy I'm not going to Swansea next week. My grandpa cancelled the trip because he was broke.

(They all laugh.)

(Squit and Wakko came into the tent looking disgusted.)

Brain: How was the trench?

Squit: (looking disgusted) Wakko and I had to wipe our asses with leaves.

Brain: (disgusted) Jesus.

Squit: And I think there were some ants in there, so I now literally have ants in my pants. And soil, and some earwigs.

Wakko: I never wanna do that again.

Pesto: Hey. Do you remember that first time we slept in a tent in my back garden and Pinky pissed himself? (laughs)

Brain: Yeah, we had to come in the house at about midnight because Pinky got scared. (laughs)

Pinky: Yeah, I was scared that Pesto's dad was about to come out and rape us!

Pesto: (furious and disgusted) Just...go fuck yourself.

Squit: And on that familiar note, it's good night. (lies down in his sleeping bag) Sorry about your car, B.

Brain: Doesn't matter. It was a piece-of-shit car, anyway. Thanks for the send-off. For the last 2 years, I always knew they were trying to scam me in the first pla... (holds his nose) Jesus, that stinks, Pesto, was that a fart?

Pesto: Nah, Wakko and I burped. It ain't great, though.

Wakko: Yeah, I think it's them sausages.

Brain: Whatever. Good night.

Pinky: Well, I'll get the fuckin' light, then, shall I? (turns off the light) Night, mah boys.

(long silence)

Wakko: B, I was wondering, when you die?

Brain: Yeah?

Wakko: What do you want us to do with Squit? Like, look after him and stuff?

Squit: I'm not a stray cat, Wak.

Pinky: Yeah, but you do shit in a hole in the ground tho. (laughs)

Squit: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks.

Wakko: I just worry about you, that's all.

Squit: I think I'll be fine. Good night. (lies back down) Thanks, though, Wak.

(Wakko suddenly vomits on Squit)

Squit: (furious/disgusted) UGH! FUCKIN' HELL, IT'S IN MY HAIR!

Wakko: (feeling dizzy) I think it's the sausages.

Pinky: (panics and turns the light back on) Fuck dat! I've gotta get out. I've gotta get out!

Brain: (disgusted) Oh, God, the smell. It always makes me puke.

Squit: Please don't puke in here.

Brain: Oh no. (vomits)

Squit: (disgusted/annoyed) Oh, you have.

Wakko: I don't feel well. (vomits again)

(Brain pukes again)

Pesto: Help me! (vomits so much)

Pinky: Oh, shit, the smell. Oh, God, doublepuke!

Squit: JUST GET THE FUCKIN' TENT OPEN, PINKY!

Pinky: (tries to find the zip) I can't find the zip! I can't find the zip! Oh no! (vomits on the tent zip)

(Squit looks at his mini-blade as he knew what he had to do.)

Squit: (angrily) Great!

(Squit rips the tent with the mini-blade and got out, so did Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko. They started walking away together abandoning a damaged tent, a burnt suitcase and Brain's shitty car in the forest)

Squit: (reads text) Oh, my mom's texted me back.

Brain: Is she up for some back door action?

Squit: Nope, it said, "I love you too but I think you're on weed. No offence."

Pinky: If she's up for it, Pesto should get to do her, cos it was his text that got her kinky.

Pesto: True.

Squit: Obviously she's not up for it.

Brain: How do you know?

Wakko: Does it say that pacifically?

Squit: Specifically.

Pesto: Are you sayin' she only likes it in her axe wound? Ha.

Squit: Seriously guys, c'mon, we've got a long walk ahead of us, I'm covered in puke, can we just drop the "yo mama" jokes?

Pinky: I'd like to drop yo mama's jokes. Get it?

(They all laugh while they were walking away from the forest.)

Squit: Okay, that's brilliant, I give ya that! Heh, heh!

(short silence)

Pinky: (putting on his fake Cockney accent) So what are we doing now, Brain?

Brain: The same thing we DON'T do every night, Pinky! Try and call my dad 'coz we're fuckin' lost! (laughs)

Pinky: Yep. Good idea.

Squit: Yep.

Pesto: Yep.

Wakko: Yep.

Brain: (relieved) When I get home, my dad's gonna kick...my...ass!

THE END!

This is the 4th fanfiction episode of The Outsiders. Thx. Hope you liked it.

#animaniacs #theoutsiders #goodfeathers

0 notes

karterh-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Levi 1

Levi

This is stupid.

What am I doing?

Nothing odd.

Just a tall teen, buying packaged cookies.

And that’s it.

Watching that movie was a bad idea. Why did I let Nic talk me into watching it? They were so persistent. The movie was good. It made me feel less alien. The worst part was the partial I got from the watching the kiss at the end. I had to hide it behind my letterman’s jacket when we left the theater.

Maybe it’s a good thing. No other on-screen romance has gotten that much of a rise out of me. Fuck. Even my thoughts are getting corny.

“Young man register 15 is available,” the yellow-vested Walmart employee startled me out of my inner turmoil. I looked up at her, she looked tired, unkempt, as my mother would say. She gave me an impatient nod to herd me along to the self-checkout kiosk.

I quickly scanned my purchase and selected the pay option. Fumbling with my wallet I tried to rush the machine into taking my five-dollar bill. The stubborn thing spat it back at me. Infuriatingly, I snatched it back, worked out a barely bent corner and forced the note back into the payment slot. This argument went on for a few more rounds. I felt the stares of the moms waiting in the line. Believe me ladies, I want to get out of here as much as you do. After a fifth attempt it finally accepts my payment and spits my change and receipt at me. I shove it into my jeans pocket, grab my purchase and head for the doors.

“I need to see your receipt, young man,” drawls the exasperated looking man at the greeter post.

I attempt to extract it from my pocket without showering my feet with pennies and dimes. I failed.

“It’s a new policy.”

“It’s fine,” I say and as I hand him the small slip, I see that my hands are shaking.

My hands don’t shake. I scored the winning net in or hockey game against Gillette Saturday night. They’re our biggest competition this season, not to mention our biggest rival. “What is wrong with me.”

“Thank you, have a nice night,” he utters in monotone. he so doesn’t care.

I’m in the clear. Not even close, Pearson.

I make it to the second set of doors and forget how hard it’s snowing. I hate driving around town in snow. I’m not a terrible driver for a 17-year-old. I get carried away after a big win on the ice or a movie with good chase scenes, but generally I keep it in my pants. But other people act like they haven’t lived here for decades and either slide through the intersections or drive half the speed limit.

Crap, am I really doing this?

At the beginning of Christmas break Nic begged me to go see a movie about some gay kid. It didn’t play here in Sheridan. There is no way it would play here. It might turn us impressionable youths into the gays!! Too late. Anyway, Nic convinced my mom that she would likely get a better present if I were allowed to drive up to Billings, Montana to do my holiday shopping. Nic is basically an only child. They know how to manipulate parents. They are my best friend, but I wouldn’t say that to the guys on the team. The guys already give me a hard time for hanging out with them and some of their “freaky” friends. I just feel so comfortable around them.

Unlike now. My socks are wet from slopping to my car. Chucks are not good winter shoes. I jam the key into the door handle to unlock the car. No fancy fob for this ride. Hell, it doesn’t even have cruise control. Gotta love hand-me-downs. Now that Jess is working a job and going to school (Sheridan College, fancy) he was able to buy a better vehicle. So, I get the old Honda my parents bought used ten years ago. The hinges creak as I open the door and slouch into the driver’s seat.

After shoving my backpack into the floor, I set the package of Oreos on the passenger seat. They’re the holiday ones with the red filling. Not really like the movie said, but close.

The car squeals to life with a good forceful turn of the ignition. I should get my friend Joey to change that belt. It’s getting really bad. I carefully make my way out of the packed parking lot as my phone buzzes in my hoodie pocket. I know it’s Nic, so I don’t even look.

“Hi.”

“Hey babe?” They sound unsure. Great.

“Why do you call me that? Don’t you’ll make me more nervous?”

“Lee, it’s going to be great! I’m so excited for you. I wish I could watch from your backseat.” Nic ignored my question. Typical.

“God you’re creepy.”

“Yeah. But you love me.”

“Uhhh....” I let silence hang in the chilly air.

“Levi Pearson, you go give that boy his cookies and make his year!”

“How are you cockier than me? Do you think he’ll even get the reference? This is pretty out there.”

“I know he saw the movie, Sarah Riley showed me his secret Instagram post about seeing it and then journaling at City Brew for hours afterward!”

“How do you know it was actually his post?”

“Babe, the freaks know all the best gossip.”

“Seriously? The babe thing?”

“What about it?”

“Even your friends think we’re together!”

“That’s impossible Lee. They all know I’m a demi/panromantic asexual genderqueer!”

“Nic. No one in this county knows what that means, except for you.”

“You’re totally not my type.”

“You mean you’re not my type?”

“Right. Not everyone can be born with genitalia that you are disturbingly focused on. But you are so stoic that no one knows what your type is, other than maybe cheerleader or volleyball player. I’m the only one who sees you. Well until tonight. Then Patrick will see you. Hopefully more of you than I’ve seen.”

“Hey.” I listen to Nic’s peeling cackle for two traffic lights.

“Holy shit. Aren’t you almost there?”

“Just turning off 5th street.”

“Ok. Ok. Ok. I love you! You’ve got this!” With that she hangs up.

I shift into park and look up at the brick house. The lights in the living room shine through the curtains. A big pine tree blocks the only other window facing the street. That’s probably his parents’ room though. That’s how I remember the house when Brad Warren lived there. We used to hang out in grade school, and we’ve been on the same hockey team for two years. I’d ride my bike over here when mom and dad were both at work in the summer.

God. My thoughts are all over the place. I’m mostly just trying to not picture and also hope for the opportunity to see Patrick’s smile. I think a lot about that smile. I didn’t really notice it until he got his braces off last year. It seemed like he smiled for weeks. He was unfortunately outed by some football players in a pretty brutal manner. He hasn't smiled much since then. Nic says he’s been out to his friends for years, which makes us the only two queer guys in the 11th grade, as far as I can tell.

A shadow passes by the window and I jump. Crap. I probably look like a stalker sitting out here.

I grab my backpack off the floor and chuck a couple of textbooks out, so I can fit in the treat I have for Patrick.

The characters in the movie bond over Oreos. And I figured if I showed up and offered them to him, it could be easier than walking up to him at school and saying something dreadfully embarrassing for both of us.

Pearson. You got this.

I wrench my door open and trudge to the Williams’ front door. I can tell by the blue light that the tv is on and I can faintly hear the sounds of Wheel of Fortune. That show is banned in our house. We watch Jeopardy! and no other game shows.

The chime of the doorbell makes me jump. Breathe. In. Out. Hurried little footsteps come toward me. This must be his little brother. I’ve seen him at school functions with his parents. The knob jiggles as he attempts to open the heavy door.

“No! I got it!” The small voice protests. And lights blind me for a second as he stares up at me. I’m already six-one. He must think I’m a giant, as he stands there with his mouth open and his eye wide before squinting at me. “Who are you? Are you Thor?”

“Uhhh, Levi Pearson?” Wow Pearson intimidated by a juvenile.

“Who’s at the door, Alex?” His voice is clear and sharp and makes shiver run down my spine. And then he fills the crack in the doorway standing behind the shorter version of the same person. His bristly dark blonde curls are cropped short. And his light blue eyes look into my soul.

“Levi?”

“Uhh, hey.”

“Why are you at my house?”

“Can we talk?”

“This couldn’t wait until school in the morning?”

“Please?”

“We won’t get very far if you keep answering questions with questions.”

“Boys, shut the door! You’re letting all the heat out.” Their dad has an intimidating presence. He’s big and muscular, and always has a shadow of coal and grease on his skin.

Patrick eyes me wearily.

“Well come in.”

“Thanks.”

The front door leads straight into the living room. They must have painted when they bought the house. It looks totally different. Wow. How does anyone really think I am hetero? I choose to blame my mother and her HGTV habit.

“Can I help you?”

“Oh sorry. Ummm. Did you get Speiker’s assignment from yesterday? I didn’t have a chance to see him before we left for the game.” He glares at me. This was a stretch. We have one class together. Algebra II. I’m decent at it. I mean I’m holding steady to my A-, but I can play dumb.

He looks unconvinced.

“You have friends in that class, why ask me?”

I’ve got to bullshit fast. Mini-Patrick has grown bored of me and now that the door is shut their dad is back in a recliner studying the next word puzzle.

“Well, I was on my way home, and your place is on the way–”

“Are you stalking me?”

“What!?” I try to wipe my now sweaty shaking hands on front of my hoodie. It’s wetter than my hands. This is going great!

“How do you know where I live?” He looks nervous and skeptical.

“Oh. Uhh. Brad used to live here before you.”

“Ooookaaay.”

“Anyway. Your place was on my way home and I need to keep my B in Algebra to stay on the active hockey roster.

“Boys, quit flapping your gums or get out of the living room, you’re interrupting the puzzle,” his dad said while waving us to the kitchen or some other part of the house.

“Fine. Come with me.”

Patrick lead me into the house, cautiously monitoring my every move.

“Patrick. Tell your friend shoes stay at the door.” I was so busy watching Patrick watch me that I didn’t even notice his mom perched at the kitchen counter. She scrutinized me over the top of red-framed reading glasses like a mean librarian, if librarians wore paint splotched bibs. She likes to call herself an artist, but Mom says she’s just crafty with too much free time. I don’t really know what that means but I’ve seen her name on fundraiser auction items.

Patrick clears his throat to get my attention.

“Oh god,” I jump, “sorry.” I dig my toe into the heal of my right shoe popping it off and then do the same with the left. I pick up my sneakers and trudge them back to the front door and take a big deep breath before rejoining Patrick in the kitchen. He leads me down a set of stairs into another living area. It’s basically just an older version of the one upstairs. The couch is more worn, and the recliner looks nonfunctional, but cozy.

“Wait here” he leaves me in the comfy room and my eyes wonder to a wall covered in family photos. I resist the urge to memorize every one of them. Geez. I am a stalker. To calm my fidgeting, I perch on the arm of the couch and stare at the ceiling. I slide my backpack off my shoulders and hold it by the loop at the top.

“Do you have your book with you?” I look down and he’s standing in front of me, still glaring.

“Oh, uh, I don’t really need the homework. I got it from Nic. I just–”

“Dude. What’s going on here? Why the fuck are you at my house then?” His voice is icy and cuts through my small shred of confidence.

“Pat. Calm down.”

“It’s Patrick.”

“Sorry. Patrick.”

“Is this some sort of hazing, jock bet? Infiltrate to home of the homo?”

My stomach had been trying to climb out of my chest and these words drop it to the floor. I slump forward and look at my wet pack and socks. The zipper is partially open, and I can see the bright blue package. I don’t know what to say to him. Of course, that is what this looks like.

“I just wanted to give you something.” I reach into my bag and wrestle to cookie package free. I drop it onto the seat of the battered chair and head quickly back up the stairs. I jam my soggy feet into my shoes, shoulder my bad and leave the warm house without looking at any of the Williams family.

Back in the Civic, I see that I have missed 10 calls and 20 texts. I have one voicemail from home. I opt for that first knowing that all the other communications are from Nic. Mom says dinner is ready and mine will be cold by 7. I check the phone’s screen. It’s just after 7. I’ll make something up. It’ll be fine.

Nic texts again as I close the voicemail window.

Nic: Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.

Nic: <3 <3 <3 <3

Instead of trying to type out my humiliation, I opt for a call instead. I hold the phone with my shoulder as I make a U-turn and drive the five blocks home. It doesn’t take that long for me to spew my rejection and humiliation. I park behind Dad’s old beat up truck and rest my head on my steering wheel as Nic attempts to construct further plans. They seem way more invested in my love life than I am right now. I’m half listening to Nic and half listening to my stomach growling. Tall athletes should not miss meals. But despite its protests I don’t think I can keep anything down.

“Lee!”

“Huh?”

“Are you listening to me or wallowing?”

“Definitely wallowing,” I huff. My breath is starting to fog up my windows.

“Babe, remember when you tripped on your own stick while skating toward the undefended goal in the game against Casper?”

“Wow. As if I didn’t feel shitty enough, thanks Nic.”

“Did you give up hockey after that game?”

“No, but that’s different.”

“You’re right it’s a different kind of match between boys playing with stick.”

“Cute.”

“The cutest enby you know.”

“You’re the only enbee I know.”

“Babe, I can hear you shivering. Go inside. Can me later.”

“Sure.”

I lift my head and realize I have sat here long enough for the snow to coat it windshield. And I think my socks are starting to freeze to my shoes.

#lgbtya #writingprocess #early draft

1 note · View note

artsy-alice · 6 years ago

Text

About Me!

The superb Summer @summerbummin tagged me so here we go.

Nickname(s): ok ok this is actually fun are you ready?

Alison for my family and hs friends

Ali for y’all and for people at work

Alls for some people from college

Hobbit-chan courtesy of my roommate who likes to take a dig on my height

my squad came up with Kuchi

my best friend calls me Irug, which is a play on the word for ‘beloved’ because we’re sappy

only one person calls me Jane because we both have Jane as a second name, so when one of us calls a Jane, we’re sure we’re referring to the other. it’s an inside joke now.

Height: i’m a shortcake. around uhhh... 4.7 ft i think??

Favorite fruit: i can eat a whole ass pomelo by myself altho for some reason i cannot stand pomelo flavored juice.

Orientation: eeehhh idk exactly. but at this point, probably gray aro-ace, and in the 0.01% of the time i am vaguely attracted to a person, i preferred to identify as bi because i found that i didn’t really care about their gender.

Favorite season: we just have sunny and rainy season here in the philippines, but i prefer the October to February period where it’s cold and windy but not too rainy. idk i just like being cold lmao

Favorite flower: uhhh aesthetic-wise, carnations. but the only flower i can recognize by smell is sampaguita.

Favorite scent: new books. old books. BOOKS. and jollibee chickenjoy.

Favorite color: pink and black

Favorite animal: DOGS AND CATS AND KOALAS AND ACTUALLY ANYTHING BUT FROGS

Coffee, tea, of hot chocolate: if we’re talking hot drinks, then hot chocolate in the only one of those i can stand. i only drink iced or ice-blended coffee and milk tea bc i don’t really like hot drinks. wait. i can drink coffee hot but like after you pour a gallon of creamer on it so it’s basically milk.

Average hours of sleep: 5 to 6 hours. up to 12 hours on weekends if i’m recharging.

Cat or Dog person: both, really. but i guess i’m more comfy with dogs now since we have no less than 15 dogs in the house.

Favorite fictional characters: oh man...? uh. okay let’s see...

Kuchiki Rukia (BLEACH)

Keith and Shiro (VLD)

Remus Lupin (HP)

Mimi Tachikawa (Digimon)

Ren Kougyoku (Magi)

Asami Sato (LoK)

Sailor Venus and Sailor Pluto (Sailor Moon)

Leia Organa (SW)

Riza Hawkeye and Alphonse Elric (FMA)

Prince Sameth (Abhorsen)

Ichinose Hajime (Gatchacrowds)

Kamala Khan, Wanda Maximoff, Billy Kaplan, Gert Yorkes (Marvel)

Lucy Heartfilia and Freed Justine (FT)

Marie Mjonir (Soul Eater)

Izabel the Ghost Babysitter, Hazel (Saga)

Sophie Hatter (HMC)

Micah Heslop, Jessica Campion, Diane de Tremontaine (Riverside series)

Number of blankets I sleep with: one. sometimes none bc IT’S SO FUCKING HOT AND WE DON’T WANNA PAY FOR ELECTRIC BILLS FOR THE A/C so i just... sleep with the electric fan right next to me

Dream trip: ......huh. i don’t really have one???

Blog created: roughly 6 years ago

Number of followers: i had to check bc i never check, but... 3,141. oh wow that’s a lot. thanks u guys, and i’m so sorry.

Random facts: let’s limit this to five--

I CAN’T BIKE. i mean i know how to ride a bike. i ride bikes well! but i don’t know... how to... stop. i always crash. I’M A DISASTER.

since people only started calling me ‘Ali’ after college and at my first job, whenever someone i knew BEFORE that calls me ‘Ali’, i get whiplash and i’m like... shook... like... dude... who’s Ali?

usually people don’t like listening to music with lyrics when they code or write, but i HAVE to be singing words while coding or writing.

i am eldest of five siblings, but i usually feel like i have six younger sibs, instead of four, bc of two cousins live next door but are always in our house anyway.

i wasn’t comfy wearing dresses and skirts until third year college, i always felt like i’m not the type to wear them, and i didn’t have the confidence to be ~cute~. ‘till my best friend said i should wear a skirt on our movie date (it’s a trade-off, in exchange he shall shave his ugly goatee that i hated) and so i wore a skirt and holy shit i have seen the light, my thighs are free and they’re comfy and after that i finally let myself love and wear skirts and dresses and typically girlier stuff. :D

Anyways! This has gone long enough! I’m not gonna tag but feel free to do this @anyone who wants to because they’re fun to answer!

#tag meme #about me #personal #summerbummin

11 notes · View notes

adamcoled · 7 years ago

Text

love in all five senses | seth rollins

A/N: Uhhh hello :,) It’s been a long, long time, which I’m sincerely sorry for. Essentially, school started back up and writing the papers for my English class really kicked my ass and made me lose any motivation to write outside of assignments for that class. This might be messy since it’s been so long, but something a little simple as I try to get back into things.

Smell.

I didn’t know there was a specific moment when you realize you love someone. A precise second that passes by, a surprised breath slipping past your lips, suddenly realizing holy shit I’m in love. But I can pinpoint that moment I realized I was in love with Seth easily.

The night had started with a careful movie selection, a silly little debate over what we were feeling that night. I’d wanted horror, he’d wanted comedy. But, considering the night was still rather young, we compromised on first watching White Chicks for the 27th time and then one of those hilariously-bad Netflix horror films that I couldn’t even remember the name of. Essentially, we just watched two comedies.

Perched upon the couch, eagerly awaiting Seth’s return from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn in hand, I heard the annoyed “shit” that he muttered. In a second, the ever-lasting aroma of burnt popcorn waft into the living room, emitting a chuckle because of course he’d done it again.

“Will you ever make popcorn without burning it? Jesus, the amount of toxic fumes I’ve inhaled because of your remarkably-bad microwaving skills is insane,” I joked, making my way to the kitchen to admire his disaster. At this point, it’d become an inside joke. Who knows why we still allowed him to microwave the popcorn.

Seth stood there, waving his hand back and forth as if that would somehow get rid of the smell. Everyone knew it lasted forever and managed to creep into every crevice of the area. “Oh I will, someday,” he grinned, tossing the bag of lost popcorn into the crash. “But c’mon, you can’t tell me you don’t just love the smell of burnt popcorn.”

And then he picked me up, tossing me over his shoulder with that loud cackle of a laugh that I’d fallen in love with. “Seth!” I laugh-yelled, falling limp against his grip as he carried me to, presumably, the living room.

“That’s what you get for making fun of my microwaving kills,” he chided, setting me down on the couch once more before hitting me with a pillow.

I felt my hair tousle from the impact, his bright smile lingering in hopes I wouldn’t exact my revenge. A smile of my own mimicked his before I reached beside me, picking up the nearest pillow and swinging it right at his head.

“I’m quite skilled in the art of pillow-fights,” I warned after we’d gotten over our laughter-fit, “are you sure you want to do this?”

“You don’t even know what I’ve got in my arsenal,” he defended, “game on, babe.”

We spent half an hour chasing each other around, our weapons of mass destruction – soft, cushiony pillows – in hand, the smell of burnt popcorn still sitting like a dense fog around the house, and somewhere along the way I realized holy shit I’m in love.

Taste.

After our little impromptu pillow fight, the both of us were worn out and starving. War makes you hungry. Seth suggested pizza and I’d agreed immediately, my stomach so dire for food that I’d almost made him write “bring it in a jet” as the special delivery instructions.

“I don’t think that’s plausible,” he chuckled, finalizing the order on his phone before he tossed it somewhere on the couch. He never liked technology getting in the way of our limited moments together, always cussing beneath his breath when he got a call he had to take.

“Why not?” I giggled, rolling onto his lap and hooking my arms around his neck, “I mean, you are Seth Rollins. Famous ass-kicker.”

He shook his head, grinning, pressing his lips to mine. He always tasted vaguely of spearmint, a feat I’d grown to love. And somehow, our kisses remained as electric as the first one, all intensity, heat, and pulses of excitement. Before things could get too heated, we pulled away, sparing the pizza delivery boy a show of tousled hair, wrinkled clothes, or no clothes at all when he arrived.

“You give me too much credit.”

His modesty earned him one last quick peck from me, removing myself from his lap and back onto the couch beside him. “Too much credit? I don’t give you enough credit for being my amazing, talented, handsome boyfriend.”

His response was cut off by the doorbell sounding throughout the house, the sound of car pulling into our driveway going unnoticed among our antics.

“Seems like they practically did come in a jet,” he commented, hopping off the couch and sprinting to the door, seemingly as hungry as I was. Two minutes later, he was walking triumphantly back into our dark living room lit up only by the television, pizza box balancing carefully on his forearm. At the very least, the much more welcome smell of pizza was beginning to overpower the burnt popcorn smell from earlier. Placing the box onto the coffee table in front of us, Seth fell against the couch and grabbed the first slice.

“That was pretty fast, huh?” I agreed, reaching for a slice myself, “told ya Seth Rollins was kind of a big deal.”

I snickered, though it was cut short by him putting his slice down carefully and threatening to reach for a pillow again. “You’re such a mess,” he said after I had put my hands up in surrender, not looking to put aside the pizza for yet another all-out pillow war. I’d won the last one, but he’d never admit it.

Collapsing onto his lap, my head resting against his thigh comfortably, I looked up at him teasingly. “You must like messes, then, huh?”

“Just the one looking real pretty on my lap right now.”

Touch.

By now, we had both mostly abandoned the movie, laying on the couch with a blanket cocooning us. Seth’s feather-light touch had left goosebumps on nearly every inch of my body, trailing carefully along my side, my collarbone, my jawline, tracing odd patterns gently on my back and my thigh. As he felt the rigid texture of goosebumps erupt wherever his fingertips danced along, he grinned, proud of himself.

“Cold? We can get another blanket if – “ he began, knowing full well he was the reason behind it all. The blanket was heavy, and with his stomach pressed right against my back, the immense amount of body heat helped, too.

“Shut up, Seth,” I groaned, realizing the enjoyment and satisfaction he was getting out of this situation, “you know it’s you.”

Lips on my neck, my body shuddering at the sudden contact, another smile coming out of Seth. I could feel it against my neck. “’It’s me’” he repeated, happy with that answer, his mouth now by my ear rather than on my throat. “That’s what you said when I got jealous of that one friend of yours, isn’t it?”

While he chuckled at the memory now, I couldn’t forget how he was doing anything but laughing when the events unfolded. We weren’t together at that point, not yet, but there was obvious tension and when Seth saw me with a close male friend of mine, he’d assumed I’d led him on the entire time. I’d had to tell him it was him, it was always him, no one else. “God, yes,” I groaned, remembering how disastrous that situation was, how terrified I was that I’d lose Seth completely, our years of friendship evaporating into nothingness. “You were so dumb, getting jealous over him. Couldn’t you tell I was head over heels for you?”

“You know I can be pretty oblivious sometimes,” he admitted, laughing into my shoulder, “and I sort of knew he’d probably be better for you.”

This was something he’d never told me about that moment. It forced me to turn around to face him, to figure out what emotions were running through his eyes. His eyes always told the story. His thumbs returned to their routine, circling on my upper arm. “What are you talking about, Seth?” I questioned, tilting his chin up so I could read his face. My eyes trailed back and forth, but he simply shrugged as if it was clear.

“I mean, you wouldn’t have to deal with him being gone all the time. Traveling, timezones, being alone.”

“For what? For another basic cookie-cutter relationship, with arguments over, what, bills and groceries? Maybe it’d be easier, but I wouldn’t be happier. I’m this happy because it’s you.”

That phrase was beginning to hold a lot of significance in our relationship. I guess I never realized saying “it’s you” was my way of saying “I love you” early on.

Sight.

Words so simple, yet they seemed to quell any lingering doubts he had in his mind. I watched as his forehead unwrinkled and a smile replaced the slight frown. Only the TV was illuminating his face, but I could still tell he looked as handsome as ever. Here we were, pressed together on the couch with a blanket so tangled between our legs it felt like a mermaid’s tail, pizza box sitting crooked on the coffee table, the main character of whatever horror movie trying to escape the monster, and yet everything was so perfect. Nothing picturesque but something beyond that. Something simplistically beautiful.

“You’re right, I’m dumb,” he began, “I mean, you said it yourself – I’m Seth Rollins, why would you want that guy?” And while he was one-hundred percent joking, it was absolutely true. Here was everything I could ever want in a soulmate, how could I ever let that go?

In a second, I was on top of him, straddling his waist, taking him by surprise. He tensed up momentarily before relaxing beneath me, eyes fluttering shut as I connected our lips once more. The blanket had fallen to the floor in my haste, but it didn’t really matter. I felt plenty warm now.

He placed a hand on either side of my face, pulling me away gently. “You’re stunning, you know that?” he whispered, forehead placed against mine. Now, his eyes were almost unreadable. “And I am so goddamn lucky.”

At this angle, the moonlight was seeping through the blinds we had yet to close, settling on his face quite nicely. The sight was as complete as it could ever be.

Sound.

The next words he spoke were unmistakable. With his face and body so close to mine, I could hear him clearly, could feel the lull of his heartbeat beneath me, could watch as his tongue darted out to sweep across his lips before he said the words I’d been thinking all along.

“I love you.”

#seth rollins imagine #seth rollins fanfic #seth rollins fic #seth rollins x reader #seth rollins one shot #seth rollins fluff #wwe fanfiction #wwe fic #wwe fluff #wwe one shot #WWE Fanfic #wwe imagine #wrestling imagine #Wrestling Fanfic

207 notes · View notes

holliekae · 3 years ago

Text

good things come eventually

i didn't know it at the time, but while i was writing my last post, the universe was putting together something incredible for me. a lot of things have happened since that last post. a lot of terribly stressful things and an astounding amount of amazing things and i'd like to share them all with you.

lets start with the extra fun and stressful things shall we? first and foremost, i got put on probation for a DUI i got in november of 2020. probation on its own is shitty, yes but i definitely got the ~lighter~ version of what is actually probation. its technically called DUI diversion, which basically means if i complete everything on this lovely checklist, the charge gets taken off my permanent record. so that's cool. also super cool? fucking color code. my color is scarlet. so until may of 2022, at any random time, monday-friday, my color can get called to come and take a drug and alcohol piss test lmao. oh and all of this is INCREDIBLY expensive, which is super cool for an adult that has actual bills and shit to pay. nevertheless, i've absolutely learned my lesson about committing crimes. its all fun and games at the time but the repercussions are god awful, especially for a 25yr old baddie am i right??

don't drink and drive kids.

now onto the absolutely wonderful things. i am in love as fuck. like mad, stupid, crazy in LOVE. something that i never imagined that i'd get to experience, i literally talked about it in my previous post. did i really manifest my own love story?? i sure tf did bc i'm really out here living it with the man of my fkn dreams and i couldn't be happier. he is the most amazing person i've ever gotten the chance to meet and i feel so lucky to know him. little secret, he's the one that told me about these blog posts heheh. our story is rather different from most, but its 2021 and dating just isn't what it used to be. he's 1 year and 4 days younger than me, we went to rival high schools and he graduated the year after i did. we knew a lot of the same people around that time so i'd like to think that maybe we crossed paths in another lifetime that led us to be where we are now. i absolutely believe in divine intervention and things happen for a reason and i truly believe that people are supposed to meet at certain times in their lives and i think him and i are perfect example of that. i live in huntsville and he lives in atlanta so its about a 4 hour distance between us so i didn't think anything would ever come from him and i talking or being friends. i just knew that he was a total babe and i was going to do whatever scheming i could to get my hands on his fine ass. so after we texted back and forth for a few weeks, i pretty much told him that i was coming to atlanta for a weekend, i just wanted to see what would happen, or if the vibes were there or anything. i had nothing to lose, i was going to court for my DUI the following week so i said fuck it and drove my happy ass to a whole different city, to stay in a strangers house, with the stranger himself. as it turned out, going to atlanta would be the best decision i've ever made. after the initial anxiety wore off and the awkward vibes dissipated, i was alarmingly comfortable around him. his whole presence made me feel safe, it was the weirdest thing i've ever felt, especially in what would normally be a painfully uncomfortable situation for me. obviously i liked him and that's why i went to atlanta in the first place, but it wasn't until after that weekend that i knew i was growing actual real feelings for this guy. he was all i could think about, i told all of my coworkers about him, he was literally the only topic of conversation for at least a week lol. i couldn't wait to see him again. it took everything i had not to get my hopes up about him. nothing with any other guy ever worked out, i was stuck in a revolving door of talking stages and i didn't think that this time would be any different. i definitely had hope though, i was hoping that maybe this time, things will finally work in my favor bc he was everything i ever dreamed of and then some, i didn't even know him then but something told me that he would be worth it and boyyyy i was right.

it was a couple weeks later and we had continued texting back and forth, getting to know each other and what not. he mentioned that his dad and brother were going to be in town for the braves game and obviously a lightbulb went off in my head like uhhh please for the love of god invite me to this freaking baseball game. well, he did and we all had an absolute TIME. i'll never forget that day.

June 5th, 2021. it was after the game, we had been rained on, we were both sweaty and intoxicated and there were hundreds of people wandering around us. we found a bench and sat down for a minute and he'll say that i hit him with the "what are we?' question but i remember every detail from that day except that specific one so we cant confirm or deny those allegations. anyways, we were sitting there and this man really asked me to be his girlfriend.. when i tell you that not only did i die a little bit, but everything around me, the people, the noise, the music, it all stopped in that moment. of course it was the easiest yes ever. to this day, even as i'm sitting here reminiscing, he still gives me butterflies the same way he did the day i met him, the day he asked me the question of all questions, and every day that i get to love him.

all of that being said, the universe knew i needed someone and it sent me more than i could ever ask for. i got a boyfriend, a best friend, the love of my life and a soulmate all wrapped into one and i just cant believe that this incredible man chose me to fall in love with. i cant imagine a life without him in it and i hope i never have to. its very cliché but as the saying goes "when you know, you know" its 100% true. i knew the day that i met him that he was going to be very important to me, and i was right. it wasn't long before i realized that i was falling in love with him. it wasn't long after that before i realized like holy shit i'm real life, wholeheartedly in love with this man.

as i lay here tonight, typing this out, with my heart just fluttering at the fact that i'm so happily in love with the man of my wildest dreams, all i can say is that i'm thankful. thankful to be alive, thankful for the universe, thankful for the trouble i'm in because without it, i would've never gone to atlanta in the first place.

i had nothing to lose, remember?

now its everything.

0 notes

tozierslosers · 7 years ago

Text

Ship: Stozier

Prompt/Request: stozier college mutual pining 👀👀

Richie Tozier was gay. And everyone knew that. He was out of the closet and everyone accepted him for that. And if they didn’t, well, Richie didn’t give a fuck. Richie had flings here and there, but nothing more. He mainly (and purposely) had flings to make his crush jealous.

Stanley Uris was bisexual. And no one knew about it. He never told anyone mainly because he was scared that his family might find out. And thus, he kept that to himself. Stan found both girls and guys cute and hot. He liked girls more, but there was just one guy that made him (really) gay.

Stan and Richie shared a dorm. And so did Mike and Bill. Eddie had a dorm room with Bev, and Ben lived a few blocks off-campus. This was all convenient, especially for Stan.

“Keep it down!” Stan yelled as he tried to focus on his homework. It was hard to focus since all he heard were moans and the constant words of “oh, yes, Richie!” or “ugh, fuck!” coming from the room of Richie.

Stan clenched his fists. Richie always did this. And it was annoying as fuck. Richie would bring home a guy and they’d hit it off. Yet, Stan would never see that person in their dorm ever again. This time, it was a dude from their Econ class. Stan just had to wait a few more minutes, and it would be quiet.

Stan was wrong. Who knows how long they were at it. He got up and grabbed his coat, and went to Mike and Bill’s dorm. He didn’t even bother knocking; he just went in their dorm right away.

“Uh, come in?” Bill said when Stan plopped down on the couch.

“I’m already inside.” Stan replied, tired.

“Richie?” Mike asked and Stan nodded.

“Damn. That’s the third time this week.” Mike said.

“And it’s only Wednesday.” Stan said. He knew it shouldn’t affect him this much, but he couldn’t help it. He was jealous. It should have been him with Richie. Not those people he didn’t know. Stan ignored the thought that he wanted to be with Richie.

Richie went outside of his room, expecting Stan to be there. He was disappointed when he wasn’t. Richie sighed and took a shower and changed into some comfortable clothes.

“So, tomorrow?” the guy asked as he changed.

“Nah.” Richie shook his head.

“But-“

“Bye!” Richie dragged him out of their dorm. He called Stan, but he didn’t answer. Stan was probably tired of Richie fucking. And Richie was tired of it too. But, he had to do it. So he could make Stan jealous. Richie opened the door again. “Wait!”

The guy, Brad or Chad, Richie didn’t know, looked back. “What?”

“Let’s date!”

It was a month full of awkward moments, hateful stares, and fucking within the Losers Club. Daryl, Richie found out, was his name. And Daryl would hang out with Richie and the Losers, which resulted in some awkward moments. Stan would stare daggers at Richie’s “boyfriend” every time they were together. Also, Stan had to leave his own dorm and stay at the others dorm because of Richie and Daryl.

Richie liked Daryl, but only as a friend. He’d only been dating him to make Stan jealous. And Richie didn’t know if Stan even liked him or even if Stan got jealous. Richie was tired of this whole act.

“Hey, where are ya going?” Daryl asked as Richie stood up.

“I’m gonna take a shower and then I gotta go somewhere.” Richie replied in monotone.

“Want me to join you?”

“No thanks. Just, uh, see yourself out.” Richie said as he closed the bathroom door. He had to try to fix things with Stan, since he knew that Stan was pissed at him. Richie missed hanging out with Stan in the dorm, watching movies and binge-watching shows. He missed Stan who was a neat freak and would go crazy if he saw one thing displaced. He missed the smell of Stan’s perfume. He missed the light brown, curly-haired boy who would deadpan him. Richie missed his best friend.

“I’m so fucking tired!” Stan yelled. Bev, Eddie, Bill, Mike and Ben were all in Ben’s apartment. “He’s always with Daryl! And it’s like he prioritizes that dude more than us! And not to mention that they are constantly making out and fucking!” Stan couldn’t help but feel mad and a bit jealous.

“Wow. You gotta chill, Stan the Man.” Mike said.

“Someone’s jealous!” Eddie said in a sing-song voice. Stan widened his eyes.

“I’m not! Why would I even be jealous?” Stan scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Because you are really mad at him.” Bill said.

“And you’re in love with Richie.” Bev said.

“And you want to be with Trashmouth.” Ben said. Stan opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

“Holy shit, you DO like Richie, don’t you?” Mike asked. There was an awkward silence that hung in the room.

“No. Of course not.” Stan said.

“Stan, come on. You can tell us anything. You know that, right?” Bev said. Stan nodded, tears threatening to spill. But he didn’t say a word.

“Stan?” Bill asked.

“I’m bisexual.” Stan said. No one said a word, they just gave each other glances. “SEE! THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DIDN’T TELL ANYONE. YOU GUYS ARE JUDGING ME!” Stan said, crying.

“Stan, we’re not judging.” Eddie said, wrapping an arm around Stan to comfort him.

“Yeah? Then why were you guys looking at each other? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“We… Already kinda knew.” Bev said.

“We weren’t a hundred percent sure…” Bill said.

“But now that we know, we accept you Stanley.” Ben said, smiling. Stan wiped away the tears.

“R-Really?”

“Yup.” Mike said. Stan smiled.

“Thanks guys.” They all hugged Stan.

“So, when are you gonna tell Richie?” Eddie asked.

“Tell him what?” Stan replied.

“That you like him!” Bev said.

“I, uh, I won’t?”

“What?” Bill said.

“You gotta tell him! I don’t want him hanging out with that Daryl dude anymore.” Mike said.

“Plus, you gotta stop coming to our dorms.” Bev said and they all nodded.

“No hard feelings, Stanley, but we’re tired of you barging into our dorms.” Mike said and Eddie nodded.

“Well, what do I do if I tell him and he doesn’t like me back?” Stan asked.

“That’s impossible. He already li-” Eddie began but Bev put her hand over his mouth.

“What?” Stan asked, confused.

“Uh, nothing. Just Eddie being Eddie.” Ben said.

“Ow!” Bev shrieked. “You bit me!”

“And now, my mouth is covered with germs!” Eddie complained and ran to the bathroom.

“So, when are you gonna tell Richie?” Bill asked.

“Tell Richie what?” A voice behind them said, making them all jump.

“Hey! Richie!” Mike greeted him. Stan turned around and saw Richie. He looked really good today. He was wearing black skintight jeans, a white shirt with a black leather jacket, and black boots, and his curly black hair was wet, meaning he just got out of the shower.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Richie winked at Stan. Stan blushed. He’d been caught staring at Richie.

“I, uh, gotta go.” Stan said but Richie blocked him.

“I gotta tell you something.” Richie said in a deep voice. Stan gulped.

“Uh, sure. What is it?” Richie looked at the others.

“Not here.” And with that, Richie took Stan’s hand and they walked out of Ben’s apartment. Richie was still holding Stan’s hand as they went back in the campus, and people started staring at them.

“Let go.” Stan said. He was getting anxious now. People might start to spread rumors about them.

“Not yet.” Richie said. they went back in their dorm, and Richie finally let go.

“What do you want?” Stan asked, crossing his arms. Richie looked at the shorter boy. Stan’s hair was all over the place because of the wind. Stan was wearing a light blue polo shirt, khaki shorts, and his white, really white, Converse shoes. Richie took in the sight of the cute boy in front of him.

“Richie!” Stan yelled, catching his attention.

“That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.”

“Where’s Daryl?” Stan asked.

“I broke up with him.” Richie took a step closer to Stan. And Stan took a step back.

“Why?”

“Did you get jealous? That Daryl and I were together?” Another step closer. Another step back.

“No.”

“Are you SURE, Stanley?” A step closer, and another step back. Stan’s back hit the wall, and he knew he was cornered.

“Yes, Richie. Why would I even be jealous?” Stan said.

“Because you like me.” Richie said, their faces inches apart, Richie staring into Stan’s eyes.

“I-I don’t… Like you.” Stan said, staring back.

“Oh yeah?” Richie challenged. Stan’s eyes went to Richie’s pink lips. “Gotcha.” Richie smirked and whispered. Before Richie could say anything else, Stan put his lips on Richie’s, and Stan put his arms around Richie’s neck. Richie kissed back after a few seconds, putting his hands under Stan’s ass and carried the shorter boy, as Stan let out a squeal and wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. Richie took the opportunity to put his tongue in Stan’s mouth, earning a moan from Stan. They pulled away, chests heaving. Richie rested his forehead on Stan’s.

“You don’t like me?” Richie smirked.

“No, I don’t.” Stan said, pulling Richie’s hair, earning a moan. “I love you.”

oKAY SO I FINALLY FINISHED THIS AND UH TBH I TGOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS SO IM SORRY ASJKDHSKJ BUT UHHH IDK I KINDA LIKE THIS

#the losers club #bill denbrough #eddie kaspbrak #ben hanscom #mike hanlon #beverly marsh #richie tozier #trashmouth #stanley uris #stan uris #stan the man #fic #prompt #it movie #it 2017 #stozier #pining

26 notes · View notes

killanyone4you · 6 years ago

Text

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

gonna answer these to pass the time

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

am i stupid for not understanding this question?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

uhh. 2.5? it depends lol

3. The person you would never want to meet?

welp. i’m sure there are lots of people i could but here but the only thing coming to mind right now is trump.

4. What is your favorite word?

i cant say i have one in mind. i like quite a lot of words.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

i dunno. something that flowers a crazy beautiful color in the fall time

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

uh. brush your hair crazy.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

i’m wearing a black shirt with the deathly hallows symbol on it.

8. What do you label yourself as?

i dont label myself

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright room. always

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

watching netflix i think. eating pizza

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

12. Who told you they loved you last?

my little brother i think

13. Your worst enemy?

myself probably

14. What is your current desktop picture?

the phases of the moon

15. Do you like someone?

uhhhh. maybe. yes. sort of.

16. The last song you listened to?

be careful - Cardi B

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Donald Trump

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Donald Trump

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

well shit. i dont know. i dont really like the term slave so i’m going to change it

to BFF for the day. and for that my answer is Jonathan Van Ness. and what wouldn’t we do? lots of BFF stuff

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

i’m told it’s my eyes. i think i agree.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

i dont know what i’d look like. but i’m pretty sure i’d have loooots of sex. or jerk off lots. and that’s probably it lol

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

not at all

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

nothing unique. i’m afraid of everything.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

my perfect sammich is wheat bread, chicken, gouda cheese, green peppers, cucumber, spinach, tomato, and mayo.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

bills lol. and maybe some Mexican food.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

uhhh France? yeah probably France

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

i dont drink and i dont have any interest in a lifetime supply of anything alcoholic.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

uh. realistically.... no murder?

29. What is your favorite expletive?

i’m a writer. stop asking me about my favorite words and shit. i cant narrow it down

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

the rose i kept from my grandpa’s funeral.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

if i erase the most horrible part of my past am i still me? i dont think so.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

uh. i’d probably go to France.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

my grandpa

34. What was your last dream about?

i was dreaming last night that my dad had left my family (weird because he’s divorced from my mom and step mom so none of them are still a family anyway) but he was leaving and so i was trying to pack up as much of our house as i could to take it to my new place and for some reason i only had until the end of the day so i was frantically looking through all our stuff trying to find anything special worth keeping. also the house was really small and looked almost like there had been a fire but nothing was ruined. it was really weird.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

person? yes.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

yes.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes. a very bad snowman lol

38. What is the color of your socks?

i’m not wearing socks

39. What type of music do you like?

i like a little of everything. but my sweet spots are 80′s rock, and mid 2000′s pop-punk

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

both are nice.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

strawberry

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

i dont

43. Do you have any scars?

many

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

i’m 27 lmao.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

my lack of motivation

46. Are you reliable?

yes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

when exactly do i stop fucking around?

48. Do you hold grudges?

i try not to

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

this is too much pressure. i dont know honestly.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i cant say i have one in mind.

51. Are you a good liar?

yes

52. How long could you go without talking?

not long. i’m quite chatty

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

i’ve never been unhappy with my hair

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

yes, many times

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

i have an ok british accent

56. What do you like on your toast?

butter and jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

honestly have no clue

58. What would be you dream car?

grey dodge charger.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

nothing super crazy. i sing sometimes i guess.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i believe in the possibility of aliens

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

no not often. i look sometimes

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons

64. What do you think about babies?

i think ew.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i’m going to skip this one for obvious reasons

#questions #bored girl #these were't actually that fun

0 notes

hellojacobday-blog · 7 years ago

Text

1 EXT CHURCH. LATE MORNING 1

Leaves blow across the roof of the church. "Church of Mary" sign stands out boldly.

2 INT CHURCH. LATE MORNING 2

DAN stands in front of the church goers and delivers the sermon. He tugs at his pant leg anxiously. Close up on his eyes.

DAN Our faith grows in strength when we

profess it and live it even though everyone around us is making different choices. God strengthens our faith when we make decisions that go against our own comfort and desires because we believe His commandments are true. When we give up possessions and leave behind a materialistic lifestyle to live according to Jesus’ words, then our faith multiplies. It moves the hearts and minds of those whom we meet. It uproots sin and ignorance. It casts into the sea selfishness and hatred. When we place ourselves in God’s hands and trust that He will carry us across though we cannot see the way ahead, then He will reward us abundantly.

As we stand to profess our faith in an all-powerful God, let us entrust ourselves, our world and our Church to Him and commit to living His word with renewed fervor and confidence.

In Jesus name, Amen WHOLE CROWD: AMEN

DAN STANDING AT THE DOOR THANKING EVERYONE LEAVING THE CHURCH AND SURGING THEM TO LEAVE

FAMILY DAD #1 Hey FATHER DAN really goo-

DAN quickly cuts FAMILY DAD #1 off

DAN Thank you glad you can make it, you

don’t want to miss the raiders vs the cowboys today huh?

FAMILY MOM FATHER DAN you don’t know how much

your masses mean to me, it gets me through m-

DAN OKAY OKAY you mean a lot to me

also! Praise be to god. ya

FAMILY DAD #2 Listen DAN my 1st son is thinking about getting baptized because of

the message you passed the last Sunday about passage Matthew-

DAN YES! lets do it, do it soon. You

will have to talk with my manager.

FAMILY DAD #2 -but I didn’t know priest had mana-

DAN pushes FAMILY DAD #2 out the door

DAN YES we do, we do. We baptize- uh a lot.

DAN rushes out the backdoor to his car and looks around to see if there was anyone around.

3 INT. CAR. DRIVING, LATE MORNING 3 WIDE ANGLE SHOT FROM THE FRONT WINDOW AS DAN GETS IN.

DAN starts up his car and drives out of the churches parking lot. DAN then sees another family from his masses and they waves with such eagerness seeing him.

DAN waves back, but with a fictitious smile.

4 INT. CAR. ALLEYWAY, EARLY AFTERNOON 4

BIRDS EYE VIEW OF CAR

DAN backs into a alley way and looks around suspiciously if there’s anyone around. DAN lets out a big sign of relief and starts praying.

MULTIPLE SHOWS OF THE CAR AND AROUND IT

DAN ...your holiness amen.

Dan then lifts a cross joint from his lap, lights it up and takes a huge drag from it.

DAN GOOD LORD ALMIGHTLY THATS THAT GOOD

S***.

DAN takes a flask out of his biretta and take a big swish of it. DAN then finishes his cross joint and staggerly drives home.

5 INT. DANS HOUSE, EARLY AFTERNOON 5 FATHER DAN’S HOUSE

DAN pulls up into his driveway, knocks over his mailbox and stumbles all the way into his house. He sits down in his living room couch and starts looking around for his bag of weed. DAN realizes he’s all out

DAN then calls his drug dealer. SFX: phone button sounds and ring

UNKNOWN MALE VOICE

Hello?

DAN *Slurring words* Hey...uh hey

Johnny.

UNKNOWN MALE VOICE Uhhh sorry man John is not

available anymore.

DAN What the f*** do you mean?? Where

is he?? I need my shit and who the f*** are you

UNKNOWN MALE VOICE Umm I’m his cousin bro and he’s

out-of-state right now. Actually he does’t even live in this country.

DAN WHAT THE ACTUAL F***??.....WHAT?!

JOHN’S COUSIN Ya bro! The fool knocked up some

girl, married her and now lives in Mexico now. He said the business is WAY better down there and his boss is named Pablo or something, has been hooking him up with a lot of work!

DAN WHAT THE F***

JOHN’S COUSIN Anyways man, i don’t know anyone

that can get you your s*** but good luck homie.

DAN paces back and forth around his living room.

DAN goddamnit wand my other plug is on

vacation. OH S*** i have a medical card!

DAN starts throwing things and flipping over things around his house franticly looking for the card. DAN finally finds it.

DAN Ha Ha! There you are!

DAN looks at the card closely.

DAN GODDAMNIT it expired yesterday!

Dan then takes another swish of alcohol from his flask.

DAN Well i better go get this goddamn

thing renewed. Better speed down there before this buzz kicks in.

DAN changes out of his priest outfit and starts looking for his keys. DAN realizes must have lot them while he was looking for his card. DAN decides to walk to the doctors office.

ACT 2

6 DOWNTOWN RENO, NV. AFTERNOON 6

DAN continues walking down the sidewalk with no regard over his consciousness. He has dazed look in his eyes, clearly having too much to drink. He fumbles a few steps and quickly fixes himself, giving the impression he’s aware that he must act sober in public. He stops after a few more steps and has a blank face, realizing he does not know the right way to go to get to the Medical Marijuana Doctor’s office. He takes out his phone, dropping it on the sidewalk. He picks the phone up and turns it on.

DAN God Damnit

He realizes he had cracked the screen

DAN Shoulda called an Uber

DAN forgets about the screen and then looks up the directions and realizes it’s just around the corner.

7 EXT MEDICAL MARIJUANA DOCTORS OFFICE 7

DAN gets to the front of the Medical Marijuana office looks around him before stepping into the office, looking goofy making sure no one sees him go inside.

8 INT MEDICAL MARIJUANA DOCTORS OFFICE 8 DAN gets to the front desk and smiles at the receptionist

RECEPTIONIST Hi, how can I help you?

DAN I’m looking to renew my medical

marijuana card since I somehow misplaced mine.

RECEPTIONIST Have you seen a doctor here before?

DAN Yeah, I have. I believe I’ve met

with Dr. Jameson before, is he available today?

RECEPTIONIST Let me check. You are pretty lucky

he actually has an opening in 15 minutes. Just sign these forms and you should be good to go.

DAN Thanks. This is the best thing

that’s happened for me today.

DAN sits down after signing the forms and picks up a magazine. He flips through a few pages then comes across a happy family on one of the pages, then he closes the magazine quickly.

DAN Ef this day

A few minutes pass

RECEPTIONIST Dr. Jameson will see you now

DAN walks into Dr. Jameson’s office

DR. JAMESON Hope that wasn’t too long for you.

I believe we’ve met before Dan, you seem stressed.

DAN Yeah, I’ve been having pretty bad luck today.

DR. JAMESON What can I do for you?

DAN I wanna renew my card, I just lost

mine today. I just wanna relax with some kush.

DR. JAMESON Yeah sure, I can definitely do that

for you. First of all, why is it that you need a medical Marijuana card?

DAN Y’know doc the usual stuff,

glaucoma and severe pain. Not the emotional kinda pain but back pain, well it would sorta help with that that as well, since I’ve been pretty lonely, that’s why I joined the Church in priesthood to look for love. Times like this when I feel lonely I tend to lose control with myself and party too hard.

DAN (cont’d) Wait, did I really just tell you

that? DAN suddenly gets up, clearly about to panic.

DAN Is that that enough info doc? I got places to be.

DR. JAMESON Oh yeah sure, just take this to the

front desk and she’ll print out your card.

DAN storms out the office after taking the documents from the doctor.

9 EXT MEDICAL MARIJUANA DOCTORS OFFICE 9

DAN rushes outside and quickly pulls out a flask to take a drink.

DAN That was bad

ACT 3

10 DOWNTOWN RENO, NV. AFTERNOON 10

DAN walks down the sidewalk with a glazed-over look in his eye. DAN comes to a halt in front of a pair of double doors placed in between promotional graphics covering windows. DAN looks up to see that he’s standing in front of a casino. DAN opens his wallet; you can see his fingers flip through a few dollar bills before grabbing a 10.

11 INT. CASINO. AFTERNOON 11

DAN, seated in front of a slot machine, stares blankly into it with the same glazed-over look in his eye.

DAN God dammit.

12 EXT. CASINO. AFTERNOON 12 From outside, you see the door swing open and DAN steps out.

13 DOWNTOWN RENO, NV. AFTERNOON

DAN continues down the sidewalk, slowly. His stomach growls. DAN stops and peers down at his wallet to see a few dollars left. DAN looks up the sidewalk a bit and sees a sign reading "DELI / SANDWICHES". DAN then turns and squints across the road at a sign reading "LIQUOR", his focus switching back and forth from that and the deli.

14 INT. DELI. AFTERNOON 14

DAN steps in front of the counter, face to face with the worker.

DELI WORKER (clears throat) Howdy. (clears

throat) What can I get ya?

DAN Hih- (coughs) Hey, sorry, uh, not sure.

DELI WORKER Okay well a lot of people like

(fade voice to muffled sound)

DAN’s eyesight shifts to screen right, then back straight ahead in the direction of the worker.

RACK FOCUS OVER WORKER’S RIGHT SHOULDER (SCREEN LEFT) TO A FRIDGE OF SODA AND BEER.

DAN shifts his eyes back and forth from worker to fridge, a small amount of perspiration gathering on his brow. The muffled voice of the worker continues.

15 EXT. DELI. AFTERNOON 15

The door swings open and DAN enters the frame, lifting a bagged 40oz beer to his lips.

16 EXT. BAKERY. AFTERNOON 16

DAN enters from screen left, and slows to a stop in front of a bakery window.

17 INT. BAKERY. AFTERNOON 17

DAN peers through the window. In the same frame, a NUN comes into focus. The NUN checks warily over both shoulders, then reaches into the tip jar and grabs the cash.

18 EXT. BAKERY. AFTERNOON 18 OVER THE SHOULDER OF DAN THROUGH WINDOW

The NUN turns and begins to quickstep toward the bakery door. She looks up and connects eyes with DAN, causing her to jump. The bakery door opens, the NUN stepping out and facing DAN, a few feet apart.

NUN (choked up) I, I know that if I,

I’ve really never tried t-

DAN holds out his hand, palm facing the NUN. She understands to stop speaking. DAN rotates counter clockwise and tosses the half-finished beer in a trash can.

DAN It’s okay.

DAN extends his hand out for a handshake.

DAN (smiling) I’m Dan.

END.

0 notes