#but his only two insults are 'u act like a stupid kid' and 'im better than u'

[wizkiddx]

unusable faces

i have exams hence why i needed to write something exceptionally cringe :)

PSA: this is completely inspired from one of my fave writers own blurb @blissfulparker​ --> completely recommend u go read hers its much better than anything i could ever write!!!! (and just her whole account) = link

Summary: pure exhaustion and mutual pining, Tom Holland x actress!reader

^(just thought this was cute, doesn't really fit aha but full credit to op!!)

A scheduling nightmare would be putting it lightly. Perhaps almost unavoidable but that didn’t make it any less of a hellish form a torture. Harry had very helpfully said it actually was a form of torture, that is sleep deprivation. Y/n loved her job - it was all she’d ever really wanted - yet that thought was quickly becoming not enough to get her through the day. Not when it felt like an interrogation tactic used by the CIA. 

To give a quick timeline of the past few days may give a little context:

Thursday - filming the fight scene all day plus an evening-turned-half-the-night-shoot due to some technically difficulties delaying the process.

Friday - flying to New York while doing read throughs of scenes for the next few days; followed immediately by getting glammed and filming the tonight show with Fallon; then a dash across town to the late late show with James Corden; then straight back on a flight to Atlanta that landed at stupid o’clock in the morning

Saturday - a full day of shooting in a mock grand central station set

The press trip to NY had been unplanned… to say the least. But the star of their studios other new release had taken ill - meaning they had slots booked on some of the biggest talk shows in America that would just be abandoned (angering the shows bookers too). It was a waste of perfectly good promo time and since the studio had their two other stars together doing a block of reshoots - it wasn’t a conversation. Much more a call demanding the two of them to be on the plane.

Normally this wouldn’t be such an unmanageable ask either, except the reshoot block was really rather time pressured. You see, the promo tour wasn’t far from beginning meaning they really needed the final film in the can. So really it was a bit of a mess. Just to free up that single day the two were in New York the whole schedule had had to be rejigged - in doing so they’d lost a rare day off too. It was just typical.  

The joys of success hey?

Well, that’s at least what Y/n was making herself think whilst her incredibly talented SFX artist was in the process of crafting a deep wound onto her upper arm. The reason why she would be ‘dripping with blood’ whilst at a train station was beyond Y/n to be honest - she hadn’t been allowed to read a lot of the script so even now as filming was drawing to a close, the story arc of the movie she was headlining was still a little ‘fuzzy’.

“So I watched your ‘spill your guts’ thing on YouTube” Ellie giggled whilst reaching over for more prosthetic putty- a technical term apparently

“I’m glad one of us enjoyed the experience” Y/n replied with a sigh, rolling her eyes at the mischievous smirk on her face - no doubt Ellie took great joy out of seeing her suffer through eating a thousand year old egg. Which Y/n swore the taste of was still in her mouth… and it seemed as though it’d never leave. 

“Oh don’t worry darling I did too” Nelli called over from the next chair along, where she was doing Tom’s makeup for the day of shoots. “Between that and the animals on Fallon, you made a hell of a lot of people laugh last night” Tom’s artist was referencing the fact one of Jimmys other guests was a zookeeper, so at the end of the interview he had you and Tom join in trying not to scream at the snakes and spiders.

“You mean laugh at us?” 

“Well of course darling!” Nelli exclaimed back in an overdramatic bronx accent making all three of the women burst out laughing, Ellie’s unceremonious snorts echoing through the trailer only egged them all on more.

Tom in response, who had otherwise been absent from conversation for the majority of the morning, exclaimed a curse and jumped up in his chair. While you and Ellie collected yourself, Nelli apologised to him.

“Oh sorry love, I’m interrupting your snooze with my uncontrollable comedic gift” She spoke sweetly, even if still taking the moment to flaunt to the other women, as she squeezed his shoulder compassionately.

“No no” Tom waved off her apology, attempting to rub his eye before Nelli swatted his arm away - a stern look for the risk of ruining all her hard work she’d put into making his face look half presentable. 

“I’m impressed you can sleep while they poke you with all these er instruments” Y/n added in, having only just realised Tom had been in a light sleep for god knows how long they’d been in that chair. It did seem a bit unlikely, being able to fall asleep as you were dabbed, prodded and brushed. 

“Maybe you should try though Y/n… your purple eye bags are proving a struggle even for me” Ellie quipped back, now it was Y/n’s turn to give the stern look. Tom took the explain though, shutting her off from whatever kindly meant insult she was about to throw back at her friend. 

“No normally never, I just….” He was cut off by an ear splitting yawn, appearing almost powerful enough to crack his jaw - which would be a disaster, for no one should ruin such a beautiful and sharp jaw line. “…uh-sorry. I just think I ended up taking my NyQuil and DayQuil the wrong way round in the madness of yesterday.” Only Tom, the poor kid often seemed to lacking in any form of common sense - even if those closest to him knew just how intellectual and passionate he could be about the right topic. Affectionately, Nelli scalded his idiocy by jokingly swatting his head with a little tut.

“I can’t believe your still standing then! I’m barely alive and I don’t have any sedatives in my system.” It was true, Y/n was at that stage where every part of her body felt ridiculously heavy… eyes included … eyes especially. 

“But I did sleep on the jet back while your stupid self was studying the script!” Tom replied with a pretty inarguable point - at the time he knew her actions were stupid;  when their flight took off at 11 PM he was certain that the most valuable asset to his ability to act in the reshoots today would be sleep - rather than character development. And he’d tried to convince Y/n that briefly, but gave up. She was bloody stubborn when she wanted to be. 

“Stop competing about who has it worse cos I think it’s me and Nell”Ellie announced - making Nelli agree empathically with her coworker, nodding her head as she looked first to Y/n in her chair then back at Tom.

“Yeh because we have to deal with your unusable faces!!”

After much sarcasm thrown back and fourth, the trailer slowly ebbed it’s way back into serenity and peace as both artists focused on their work. Once Nelli was done she excused herself, Tom staying in the chair in favour of studying (more like staring blankly) at the dialogue for this mornings scenes. His pretence didn’t last long though and while Ellie was busy adding the final touches of fake blood to the now almost completely believable gash that she’d crafted on Y/n’s arm - Y/n had her attention focused the opposite way.

At poor little Tom. He looked so childlike, his slightly puffy eyes looked as if they had weights tied to them - they way he was having fight against gravity to flutter his eyes open, before loosing the next second only for the process to repeat as they dragged downwards. The broad muscles of his neck occasionally seemed to occasionally let up a little, letting his head tilt slowly at first until it gathered enough momentum to throw him off balance. The then sudden movement of his head unconsciously pulling itself back in line caused his eyes to bolt open prior to the whole cycle repeating again. All Y/n wanted to do was let him lay down someone, her heart feeling a tug in her chest just seeing him like that. 

Ellie proclaimed her completion of the wound, leaning back to admire her work before looking to get an affirming nod from Y/n. Yet instead, she was too preoccupied gazing at the boy slouched across from them. “Someone seems a little distracted.” Ellie smirked, finally garnering Y/n’s attention, only feeling more and more smug watching a light tint appear on the actors cheeks. 

“I-well-no… we need to go.” Y/n ignored her words as though nothing had happened, instead rushing off the chair to get Tom out the chair and onto the awaiting set. They had places to be.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (bcos im lazy)

Honestly when the director, Ed, called for lunch break, it was pretty apparent to be purely as a compassionate gesture to Y/n and Tom. Both of them had tried so hard this morning to fully commit, even so they’d both been almost completely useless. Y/n kept missing cues whilst all Tom’s actions and lines where slow, dragged out and at times completely prompted from someone behind the cameras. 

So when the lunch break was called there was only one thing on Y/n’s mind and what sandwich was available in the mess tent was not it. Still standing on the set next to her fake holdall bag she looked toward Tom, who was pulling himself up to standing from the train station bench - the pace of his movement making him look more like an old man. 

“You good?” His answer was predictable. 

“I’m so fucking shattered”

Tom swore he’d never heard anything sweeter come out of Y/n’s pink lips than her next statement.

“C’mon I know somewhere we can lie down.”

Without any sort of thought Tom blindly agreed, nodding as he took her outstretched hand in his. The gesture in itself brought a fresh wave of comfort to his aching limbs and as his feet stumbled to catchup with her slight head start he leant the majority of his weight into their connected hands. 

Neither would admit it but they were ‘a thing’… whatever the hell that meant. It was clear as day to everyone and anyone that worked closely to the two but neither of them had ever broached the topic with each other. They’d worked on a few films together over the years; each time they got closer and closer to the point any job without the other simply wasn’t as good. It was scary though, especially for two actors in the prime of their careers. If they weren’t working the same film they’d likely be the opposite side of the world to each other most of the time - quality time together would be few and far between, Really their jobs didn’t suit dating at all, yet it would be perhaps easier if one half of it worked a ‘normal’ job. Something with consistency, a regular structure. A level of dependability that neither Y/n nor Tom could offer to the other. 

So it was terrifying, acknowledging the growth in their magnetic attraction to each other. Both were acutely aware that doing that, confronting their feelings, would most likely signal the beginning of the end. 

Although none of this stoped Y/n from returning the gesture, tilting her shoulder into Tom’s left side as they took slow steps through and then out the set building. She steered the two past the hair and makeup trailer and round into a store and extra equipment trailer. Tom tilted his head as she climbed the stairs whilst beckoning for him to follow - it didn’t seem like the most obvious choice. Rolling her eyes, Y/n explained.

“It’s where all the blankets and coats and kept for the raining scenes plusssss no one will disturb us in here.” Again Tom was not in a position to disagree, eyes drooping as his shoulders sagged to the floor. Right now he’d take anything. 

So he climbed up the stairs and shut the door behind him, just as Y/n flipped the light on. She was right, it was well equipped and with an almost mountainous supply of red blankets that normally the crew and extra would all be wrapped up in after the freezing rain scenes with all the ‘waterfall machines’ as Y/n called them. However it was also um…. It was cosy. “Oh I don’t think I realised how small it was” She chuckled lightly, since now the door was closed her back was pressed up against the far wall of cabinets and still her front was mere millimetres from Tom.

“I…I don’t mind… if-if you don’t?”

“I’m too tired to care” She giggled in response, and Tom , now with her seal of approval, immediately started ransacking the piled shelves for all their worth creating a floor carpeted in the pale red of the blankets, in an attempt to make it more cosy. Joining in, it was almost remarkable how quickly their bodies suddenly agreed to move, with the new promise of rest mere moments away. 

Once the trailer was fully drowned, Tom kicked off his costume shoes and threw his jacket off - it haphazardly landing by the doorway. Y/n copied him, leaving her stood up whilst he had the advantaged of already settling down on the floor, her standing and looking down at him.

The space between the two opposing shelving units was not close spacious enough for two people to lie down whilst keeping a respectable level of personal space. Suddenly feeling a wave of awkwardness, Y/n stayed standing, wringing her hands slightly - whilst fairly certain Tom could hear her heart running at 100 mph. 

“You er… gonna stay there or?” Tom, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t a complete idiot - he could see she was suddenly self conscious. He got it too - they’d never crossed this boundary of choosing to cuddle into each other. It had happened once of twice accidentally over there 2 years of knowing each other. Both of those times it was completely accidental, falling asleep watching a movie with a safe distance of space b between the two, only to find hours later their bodies almost completely intwined. Tom would be lying if he said that his heart didnt skip a beat when he had awoken to Y/n’s soft and gently breath fanning into his neck. He’d loved it, but understood that was unconsciously breaking down part of the wall they’d both been the constructors of.

For fear of getting hurt. 

So now, as Y/n awkwardly bent down and lay on her side, he thought it was imperative to make her feel comfortable. Naturally then, his arm slid round her shoulders and pulled her down toward his chest, releasing a little breath as he felt her relax, her legs slowly wrapping round one of his. 

“This okay?” He murmured, now into the crown of her head as she lay half on her side half on his chest. In reply she nodded into him and Tom couldn’t help but grin- unbeknownst to him but Y/n was doing the exact same thing. 

The peace lasted all of 3 seconds until she groaned again.

“What?” Tom enquired as she wriggled out his hold and stood up. Instead of replying though she just leant over and flicked the one harsh light bulb off making Tom chuckle as she fumbled her way back onto the padded floor in the darkness, earning a few grunts from both as she accidentally kicked Tom’s thighs or banged her head on one of the now empty shelves. Fumbling her way back into a comfortable position, occasionally cursing when she stubbed her toe- or Tom did when she accidentally elbowed him in the ribs. 

“Comfy?” Tom asked a little sarkily as he squeezed her a little more into his side.

“Mhmmmm… I’m gonna sleep for 100 years”

“Yeh me… me too”

And with that they both almost instantly and in complete unison sagged into each other and the blankets - the pent up stress and tension of the past few days ebbing away.

What the pair had neglected to remember was that sleeping for 100 years wasn’t really an option. The whole crew of 50 people, who wanted to restart filming after 45 minutes, had not been told about Y/n’s little hiding place. The pair were so completely safe in their own little cocoon of comfort they were completely oblivious to their teams calling there names more and more frantically. Completely oblivious to the game of hide and seek the situation had descended into, completely oblivious to Harrys natural annoyance as the director asked him for the whereabouts of the two stars - as though Harry was childminder to the pair of them.

It was Nelli who found them first. She’d and Ellie and Tom’s manager had all been recruited by Harry as part of the man hunt. Both girls, having seen first hand the state of the two this morning, were fairly certain they’d both crashed out somewhere. So Nelli, already with a sneaking suspicion, opened the door gently, her figure blocking the majority of the light from seeping through to the dimly lit inside. The sight she was met with had her actually pouting at the cuteness - and yes its a cringey word but also the only one appropriate.

Between bedding down and barely an hour later the two had managed to become impossibly tighter pressed to each other. Y/n’s face was pressed into the crook of Tom’s neck and his arms seemed to have pulled her on-top of him almost completely. Her left leg was hooked under his right, which was then sandwiched by his left too. They both looked so pure and innocent and god did Nelli know they both needed any extra time they could get.

Nelli cared a lot about Tom, she’d been working with him from the beginning, from the child star days to now. She cared about him like her very annoying surrogate son and she wanted to see him looked after. She also so completely wanted the two stars to stop pining after each other. Because frankly it was getting a little frustrating for everyone else. 

So she chose to tactically forget about her discovery, sneaking a photo on the sly before silently pulling the door closed and leaving them to their sleep. 

[tamiddyinyourcity]

Truth hurts only when you're avoiding it, buddy

John: you're so fucking stupid and annoying, i bet thats why you talk to me, since nobody loves you huh? Not even your own family wants you around, I bet!

Me, calmly texting back while sipping my drink: people arent "blind sheep" as you say they are; you're not as immune to propoganda as much as you let yourself think, considering you spend all your money and free time on weed and paying thousands of dollars for shoes that you don't even wear.

John:

Me:

John:

John:

John: g...god, just shut up, you stupidhead

[hazbincalifornia]

Something Very Special

Chapter 4:  A few moments of reflection.

Likes, replies, and reblogs are all appreciated, both here and on ao3!

Warnings: Mpreg

Ao3 link

Blitzo prodded at his stomach in front of the full-length mirror in his room while wearing only his pants. It was a bit more obvious without a shirt and coat on that there was a slight bump, especially considering his slender physique. It had been a few hours since the visit with Stolas, and he could still almost feel the owl-demon’s hand against him. 

Before leaving, Stolas had insisting on getting to feel his stomach again- it wasn’t sexual, as promised, but it made Blitzo shiver, the gentle way Stolas moved his fingertips over the skin and how he cooed with his eyes glowing brighter than usual.

“They’ll be perfect. I’m so glad you decided to keep them. This will all be worth it, Blitzy- you’re doing something very special.” 

He was almost a month through, and there hadn’t been any real side effects yet. None that he’d actively noticed, anyway- he’d been a bit queasy while drinking coffee a time or two and had puked in the bushes on the way home from the bar after work once, but that could have just been the cheap, shitty booze and the fact that he’d been more ‘spinning’ than ‘dancing’ by the end of the night. Loona had pretty much dragged him back to the apartment when he almost passed out anyway- not his fault that the snacks weren’t good enough to waste money on so he ended up drunk way too fast. Ugh, he'd probably have to drop drinking, wouldn't he? Greeeeeeat.

In the other room, Loona was listening to some punk band he couldn’t recognize. He liked the fast, loud sound it had to it though, all the lyrics fuzzed through the walls so it was just the beat. Blitzo drummed his fingers over the bump.

“You’d better not be any trouble, you hear me? The most I want to deal with is people calling me fat or some shit. Maybe I can get something tailored? Might have to ask Stolas about that. I’d hate to be just popping out of everything in my wardrobe, I’ve got too good of a sense of fashion for that and I can’t deny the world me at my best.” He’d need to make a list of things he wanted before but hadn’t been willing to push his luck with Stolas on.

Actually, now that he thought of it... he’d been kind of pushing his luck the last few days, hadn’t he? He’d even insulted Stolas to his face earlier, but the owl had barely even flinched, too swept up in the fact that Blitzo was agreeing to keep the baby. If it meant he could loosen his lips a little outside of the bedroom, Blitzo’d count this as a double success for a while. Maybe that was another side effect- hormones? The inhibitions to not tiptoe around the dude who knocked you up? The one who knocked you up being more lenient himself? Who fuckin’ knew! He’d never exactly asked Mom about what it was like having him and his sisters, he figured nobody who wasn’t about to have kids did shit like that who wasn’t a pervert.

Blitzo’d been playing ball with Stolas for... geez, at least six months at this point? He’d never written it down or anything. It always felt like pins and needles until he either said some dumbshit thing Stolas didn’t find funny that he had to fumble over a half-assed apology for, or Stolas just started getting raunchy right in the middle of the calls he insisted on at least twice a week. At least when the guy got started, most of the time he just burnt himself out with an occasional ‘mhm’ or ‘oh yeah’ from Blitzo, who was getting pretty good at tuning it out. Horny bastard was probably jacking off during half of them too, from the squelches and moaning noises. Weirdo. It was like he didn’t know about porn or something.

But! But, he’d offered to leave actual sex off the table for five full months with the baby thing. It really said how much he wanted this, and it also said that Blitzo was probably going to be able to get away with a lot more than usual if Stolas was willing to forgo their ‘fornication’ (seriously, who used words like that, just say ‘fucking’ like a normal person) for the entire time. Maybe Blitzo could actually get lucky with someone else for once, if he wanted to.

“What do you think about all of this? I figure the weight will be worth not having to worry about him just scooping me up and running off during work hours. And that’s on top of actually having some real good stuff out of our little relationship besides him just not taking the book back.” He paused. “And the sex when we get around to it. That’s usually pretty good.” He turned to Spirit Jr, who was propped up on the bed. The stuffed horse just stared up at him, but he felt fairly sure that the emotion given off was approval. “Very helpful. Thank you.”

“Yo, Blitzo.” Loona rapped her knuckles on the doorframe before pushing the door open, and grimaced before slamming it shut again. “Geez, get dressed first!”

“I’m in my room, just ask first!” He tugged a hoodie on, the oversized fabric completely smothering his frame when he looked down before opening the door again, meeting her eyes. “What is it, honey?”

“Just making sure you were still keeping it.” She held up her phone. “Millie asked and the notifications are getting annoying.”

Blitzo squinted at the screen, and could see that Millie had sent a picture of Moxxie pacing with his fingers laced behind his back.

“Geez, he’s acting like it’s his baby or something. Priss. Yeah, I’m keeping it.” He rubbed an idle circle over the pocket of the hoodie, fingers criss-crossing a star on the inside of it. Of course, it didn’t have much power without the book in the other room.

“I know, just making sure you weren’t changing your mind and trying to cut it out in there.” She raised an eyebrow. “I’m only asking because this was the fourth text and she was worried you’d done something stupid. Did you check your phone?”

“Yeah, of course!” He blinked before heading back to where he’d hung up his coat, digging into the pocket before pulling out his phone that was currently flashing with several missed texts. Four long rambling ones from Moxxie, three slightly shorter ones from Millie, and then one each from Loona and Stolas. (Stolas’s was just a series of emojis that Blitzo didn’t really feel up to interpreting, including for some reason several leaves.)

He shot back a text to the IMP groupchat.

Im fine u gyus, dont worry aboutme. Its all good nd im keepingit.

He flopped down on the bed to start scrolling through Voxtagram, and Loona firmly snapped the door shut at the same moment the bed creaked from his weight. 

“G’night, Blitzo.”

“G’night, Loonie! See you tomorrow bright and early!” he called back at the sound of her plodding down the hall. “We’ve got another job lined up!”

If he was lucky, maybe nothing else would even have to change.

[i-am-not-anon]

Under the eye of an institution

Part 7

Summary: Logan and Patton (both 16), the older students, are expected to look after two groups of freshmen in Watersouth boarding school for boys. Both of them despise the tradition of bullying that is subjected to the newcomers by older students. The two respectively get a student in their groups who is a little different from the ordinary crowd: Roman and Virgil (both 15).

Author’s note: I'm just going to update this shorter part for y'all to get back on track with writing. I've been super busy and it seems like I'm going to be busy soon again, so please be patient with the slow updates! Message me for getting into the taglist, please.

Triggers: Bullying, abuse, violence, violent punishments, panic attacks, self-deprecation, name-calling, i n s t i t u t i o n 

Other parts here

...

”No I’m not!” Roman stared at Logan as if his tutor had just said the most disgusting thing.

”Well that is what the results suggest,” Logan cleared his throat. ”You have 74% probability to have Combined type of a disorder called ADHD, which is short of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.” 

*”No, I do not!!”* Roman cried, tears forming at the corners of his eyes as he clenched his fists in frustration. ”Don’t call me that!”

Logan straightened his tie. ”I was not insulting you, Roman. I was simply stating what your results were from the tests you completed last night.” 

”SHUT UP!!!” Roman screamed, bolting to the door and slamming it behind him. Logan heard the footsteps disappear further to the hall, wanting to remind the boy about running inside, but understood he was too far to hear the reminder anymore. 

Logan felt quite bemused at the incident. What had he done wrong to cause Roman get so upset? Logan hoped Patton wasn’t busy as he stood up and walked to the hall, to find his friend who was way better at understanding emotions. 

….

”I think Roman doesn’t really understand what having ADHD means,” Patton pondered. ”Kids often call each other names that aren’t supposed to be offensive in the first place. Maybe Roman has been called ’the adhd kid’ as much as ’crazy’ or ’stupid’. And it really is scary to find out you have a disorder, don’t you think?” Patton turned to look at Logan, who adjusted his glasses.

”In fact, I would have felt relieved if I had been diagnosed with autism when I had to overgo all those examinations,” Logan argued. ”It would have explained my behavior and I would have gotten help for it.” 

Patton smiled. ”That’s how you reacted to it, but as you hopefully have realized by now, Roman and you are like polar opposites. I think that’s exactly what happened, he got the opposite kind of reaction than you would have so you have hard time understanding him.” Patton rubbed his hands together. ”Now I think we should find the poor kid and try to explain to him that this isn’t the apocalypse.” 

”He’s only one year younger than us,” Logan argued.

”Exactly,” Patton emphasized, leaving confused Logan to follow him at their quest to find one special, upset student.

…

Logan and Patton found Roman in the bathroom, hearing sobs coming from one of the stalls. 

”Roman? Is that you?” Patton asked gently, turning his ear toward the stall. 

”Who’s there?” Roman asked with confusion in his voice, forgetting about crying for a second. 

”Logan and his friend Patton,” Patton answered. 

”Tell him to go away,” Roman growled. He was not going to apologize to Logan for running off. Logan was stupid.

”I think there has been a misunderstanding, kiddo,” Patton patiently explained. ”Would you care to come out and discuss it with us?” 

The bathroom filled with awkward silence. Logan was about to comment something, but Patton dismissed his friend with a hand gesture, and continued himself. ”I will make sure Logan doesn’t offend you again during our discussion. Please come out Roman, it doesn’t solve anything to stay there any longer since I feel like you have already calmed down. Now it’s time to solve this problem so we can continue as normal. Would that sound good?” 

Roman wondered if anything could ”continue as normal” after what he had just been told, but he wiped his face and unlocked the door, stepping outside.

”I suppose I need to apologize,” Logan stepped forward and straightened his tie nervously. ”So, apologies.”

”It’s fine,” Roman muttered. He really wanted to just go have some fun and forget about the whole thing, but the other tutor wanted them to talk through this. Ugh.

”I’m glad you came out,” Patton smiled. ”We could go to the library to talk, it’s always peaceful over there.”

…

”How is being mentally ill not bad??” Roman questioned, sitting at the table with the two tutors, gesturing towards them.

”It’s not a mental illness, Roman," Logan corrected. "It’s a disorder, probably even congenital one. Now it’s just been diagnosed, maybe unofficially, but still.” 

Roman gripped his hands in despair. ”I don’t even understand what you’re saying!”

”Logan means that you have had this your entire life, and it’s not entirely a bad thing either. It’s just some of your characteristics that have a common name now, which is ADHD.” Patton glanced at Logan for confirmation.

”What are those characteristics, then?” Roman asked, leaning his head on the table.

”The correct term is ADHD combined,” Logan quickly corrected before answering Roman’s question. ”The characteristics, or symptoms can be divided to inattentiveness, and hyperactivity and impulsiveness. 

Inattentive behaviors are for example being easily distracted, appearing forgetful and having hard time following through or listening to instructions. 

Hyperactive and impulsive behaviors are for example difficulty to sit still, constant fidgeting, acting without thinking and excessive talking.” 

Roman had been listening to Logan’s explanation very closely. As the older student had finished, the boy let out a breath. Logan didn’t just throw a random insult at him earlier. It seemed like the older student actually tried to understand who Roman was inside. ”Okay, you just explained me in a nutshell. But how did you know it? Why did that test tell you I have that thing called ADHD? Am I not normal?” Roman continued. Patton let out a hearty laugh. ”I think we’re going to get to all of that in a minute, kiddo.” 

…

Roman took his time when walking out of the library, waiting for Logan who had to check a few books before going. He watched Patton walk around a corner and went back to find his tutor again. Roman was looking at everything but Logan as he approached him between the shelves of math and physics books. 

”Um, sir, I’m sorry that I shouted at you and ran off,” he mumbled. Logan was probably going to give him another essay to write about patience or something, and Roman tried to mentally prepare for it. 

”I forgive you,” Logan answered, looking slightly awkward himself. ”I didn’t really understand your emotions at that moment and approached the topic in a way that was not the most sufficient.” He glanced around, and after seeing there was no one nearby, he leaned forward slightly and continued with a quiet tone. ”I’m sorry.” 

”It’s fine,” Roman smiled, completely missing how groundbreaking it was from Logan to apologize for him, a younger student. ”I’m pretty glad we got it sorted out. See you!” He waved, jogging outside. 

Logan stared after the boy, letting out a quiet huff. *What a peculiar kid.* He went back to searching for his book.

....

Taglist: @daring-elm @creativity-killed-thekitten @heck-im-lost @uwillbeefoundtonight @gabe-killed-me-with-ace-cream @just-another-rainbowblog @buddypallady @aromanticandaromatic @marshmallow-the-panda

[allforthecourtt]

rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 29.09.17 lb

UGH I’M SOOOOOOOOO DEPRESSED GAURI’S NOT HEREEEEEE. IT SHOULDA BEEN BULBUL DECKING UP BHAUJAI AND CHATTERING UP A STORM 

what even is this entire outfit??? the bangles don’t even match the joda, like.... is shirali colour blind? 

AND RED JEWELS ON THE OTHER JEWELRY, LIKE... 

idhar toh these three are looking like murgas ready to go into the oven for roasting. ouff. thank god for their faces being attractive. 

does it really take two helpers to make sure your jacket is on justtttt right??? i mean, it’s a jacket. there’s no WRONG way to be wearing it. 

my heart is bursting at shivaay fixing up the other two though. such a dad he is. i love dad!shivaay the MOST. 

are these dadi and pinky's outfits for the day? so saaada and... like, they’re more dressed up on normal days than this??

ugh this damned nonsense golden ghoongat from the band baaja badhaiyaan wedding... this whole outfit would have looked waaay better without it. ouff i can’t. i just fucking can’t. why do they do my girl dirty like this????

shivaay’s like NOOOOOO UGUISE DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH TRAITOR MOM I NEED OM TO BE STANDING BEHIND ME SHOOTING LASERS FROM HIS EYES AT HER

aaaaaaaand he’s instantly gone into defensive mode, crossing his arms and looking away.

um, is that just one of anika’s maang tikas? i definitely feel like it is. i’m about... 96% sure. 

ok that starting bit was just kunal and lee joshing around. i loveee. my cutiepies.

“jab woh mere baare mein nahi soch rahi, main kyun sochoon?” 

oh and what about all the months she spent thinking ONLY about you??? did you think of her then? boy, fuck outta here. don’t make me come in there and kick your butt on a day you’re looking particularly fine. 

was that foreshadowingggggg????? 

oh god i’d forgotten about this ghoongat waali aafat. kaun hai be yeh? 

abhay’s here to be best buds with sahil. 

did anyone else have a panic attack seeing haldi-covered abhay sit on the white couch??? i know i did. #adulting #responsibleHomeowner

ok abhay’s fucking adorable. he’s handling sahil super well. *hugs my two cute boys* 

god now i want sumo to come back and get with abhay you guyz. they’d be sooooooo stinking cute with each other, can you even imagine?!?!!? OMGGGGGGGGG MY HEART IS BURSTING INTO RAINBOWS JUST AT THE THOUGHT!!!! #abhYa

abhay’s waaaaaaay too efficient for this show. like... we’re not used to someone being so productive and on top of things like this since the time anika left the wedding planning thing. 

omg abhay is male!Anika 

oh thank god, not “ho gayi teri balle balle” playing for the entry as shown in the BTS from jankee’s insta story. 

OK WHAT THE FUCK ANIKA’S WEDDING JODA IS THE SAME THING JHANVI’S WEARING BUT IN ANOTHER COLOUR?!!?!? COME THE FUCK ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN I AM SO MAD RN

heart eyessssssssss motherfuckerrrrr

om’s smug grin in bg is best. 

lmao he almost fell overrrrrrr. idiot. 

OK WALK FASTER ASSHOLES, WE’VE BEEN WAITING FUCKING 4 MONTHS FOR THIS JUST... GET MARRIED ALREADY

aaaaaaaaand power cut? 

oh no, sorry. romantic moment where they’re the only two in the world.

EH? SUCH A RANDOM FLASHBACK OF THE CHAKKU DAYS??? 

ok the flashbacks are really ruining everything. it should have just been them staring at each other with heart eyes. 

haaaaaaaaye. 💖💖💖💖

OH GOD LONGEST WALK TO MANDAP EVERRRRRRRRRR

OK PLEASE STOP PLAYING OH JAANA OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

oufffff this is boring af (just like real life weddings) just get the wedding done withhhhhhhhhhhh

IT SHOULDA BEEN GAURI DOING THE GATTBANDHAN I AM CRYING TEARS OF BLOOD RN I AM I AM 😭😭😭😭😭

lmao dadi’s lil smack on billu’s face and anika giggling at it. such cute. 

LET THE KID DO THE DAMN KANYADAAN, PANDIT!!!!!!!!

um shakti? hi??? you were all MY BETI MY BETI up to two days ago, what happened to that??? 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS OMRU STEP UP!!!

but like... omRu are also younger than her??? they’re also her kid brothers, so... why not just let sahil do it? it’s the same thing??? 

ok whatever, i’m not sweating it too much, just give me all the fucking feels. 

shivaay and anika are this close to tears. WELL, TOO LATE FOR ME COZ IM ALREADY CRYING BISH 😭😭😭😭

lol omRu’s warning. 

ok but what i really wanna see is shivaay issue this warning to om re: gauri. 

MAN, WHO IS THIS USELESS FUCKING GHOONGAT FEMALE? 

omg i just saw the bottom half of anika’s joda and.... fuck. no. just... NO. 

OH GREAT MANGALAM BHAGWAN VISHNU AGAIN. i’ve heard this song enough timesssssssss from this show to last me this life and the next. and the next. 

sincerely hoping this is my 7th janam and i don’t have to enter the realm of human existence again though. 

pffffffffffffft, throwing the message in a paper ball, bitch does this look like 7th grade to you????? 

OH BOY SHIVAAY DON’T STOP THE PHEREEEEEEEEEEE 

aaaaaaaand paper ball’s been ignored. good. 

ooooh interesting, om’s having flashbacks to his own wedding. 

FUCK YOU RUDRA, HAVE FLASHBACKS TO YOUR WEDDING WITH SUMO YOU ABOMINABLE SHITHEAD

ok angsty/sad flashbacks and happy smiles and happy music are just... not a good match. 

new mangalsutra??? 

damn, i am so unexpectedly emotional right now??? it’s a silly tellywood wedding but i feel like it’s the wedding of someone really close to me and i feel all teary and shiz. my babies. 😥😥😥😥

FUCKING FINALLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY. JESUS CHRIST. ITNA ANTICIPATION AUR EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT TOH MUJHE APNI KHUD KI SHAADI MEIN BHI NAHI HOGA. 

“bhaiyya, keep it in your pants.” 

OH SHUT THE FUCK UP DADI THEY’RE MARRIED NOW THEY CAN FUCK ON THE MANDAP IF THEY WANT JUST BUZZ OFF

yeah ok ok enough emotional dialoguebaazi. go to your room and fucking bang now. come on. literally the only thing we’re still here for. chop chop.

“MERA HAQ HAI HUG KA AND PLEASE YEH DO FEET WAALA RULE KHATAM HO CHUKA HAI....”

billu don’t give a fuckkkkkkkkkkk who knows how thirsty he is to get it on with his wife. 

also lmao, did he just flip the bird???? 

abhay’s already encroaching upon rudra’s family photographer role. 

hein??? what’s this weird moment outside??? go do this in your room??? 

... ok stop shoving the water at each other, unless this is going to turn into another water war. 

SHIVAAY YOU STUPID BITCH TELL HER ALREADY FUCKIN HELL 

SHE ALREADY TOLD YOU OMG DON’T MAKE ME COME BEAT IT OUTTA YOU

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG OK DADI NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE NOW

lmaooooooo billu’s rage at dadi hahahahahaha

wow, allll of billu’s lifelong resentments at dadi are phoot phoot ke coming out today.

yes please dadi, die already. i won’t stand for you cockblocking rikara this way. 

anika’s like omg everyone stfu about dying please. 

family photuuuuuu time. 

where’s rudra?

YES SHIVAAY, ASK FOR GAURI. ASKKKKKK FOR YOUR SISTER!

omg ommmmm imma kill you. 

why’s rudra standing away??? 

lmao i loveeee chubby. he’s so me. like why do people ask us things that we can’t possibly have the answer to??? hum kya antaryaami hai? 

eeeee shivaay pulling anika closer. such cute. 

chubby, that’s a useless warning. you just know he’s going to go be stupid. stupid is his default setting. 

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO SHIVAAY WISHING EVERYONE GOOD NIGHT AND BEELINING FOR THE ROOM. 

god just give your damn aashirwaad and fuck offf, old ppl.

“kaash dadi humein gift of privacy deti.” 

lolololololol

ohhhhhhhhhhhh boy. billu not even jhuking for pinky. 

oooh, she’s relinquishing the khaandaani kangan.

OUFF BILLU SHUT UP NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, ANIKA DESERVES THIS, COULD YOU JUST LET HER HAVE THIS MOMENT

wow even tej is advocating for pinky. bande ne jo u-turn maari hai personality mein... matlab, amaze only. 

billu dadi cuteness. GIMME MY GIFTTT!!!!!!!!!

lolololol dadi’s gift is their phones back. 

methinks billu needs to get a room with his phone first. 🙄🙄🙄

ohhhhhh boy. bhavya’s wedding is going to go for a toss. 

can’t fucking believe bhavya got a better joda than anika. imma killllll someone. 

begaani shaadi mein roohafza gatakne se kya hona hai, rudra? 

seeing all these ruvya scenes in the flashback for the first time, since i’ve fwded nearly everrrrryyyy scene of theirs. 

how does om know that THAT’s the person gauri messaged??? like???? 

OMG OM USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN. SHE GOT INSULTED FOR NOT KNOWING ENGLISH. SHE STARTED ACTING CAGEY. YOU’RE IN FRONT OF AN ENGLISH CLASS. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU, IDIOT????

i really really want bhavya to marry manav. i really really do. 

.... that wasn’t rudra’s voice was it??? 

rudra body double alert. 

ohhhhhh boyyyy, ommm. 

pffft, scene stolen from jab we met. 

also look at our boy here, hotel clerk. doesn’t he look like a virile young stud who could go all day? 😏😏😏

“lekin ladki kahan hai???”  “woh bhi aa jayegi.” 

OMFG HIS WINKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK 

god, he’s paying by card???? for this shadyyyyass hotel? boy why??? this is gonna go on your statement!

FIRST OFF, HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT GUY’S NAME?? LIKE FUCK, EVEN I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS “ARJUN” AND I’VE ALREADY MET HIM. SECOND, GAURI IS A VERY, VERYYYYYYYYYY COMMON NAME. 

OMFG OMKARA

ok rudra has fucking lost it too. FUCKING HELL. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU LOSERS?!?!?!?!?! 

get him kickedddd outtttt bhavya. 

MISOGYNY AND LIES TO THE MAX. AMAZING. FUCKING AMAZING. 

PHYSICALLY??????????????? BITCH PLEASE. YOU WISH. 

COMMISSIONER COULD YOU OPEN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH AND TELL HIM IT WAS A MISSION??!?!?!?!? 

WHAT HAPPENED KAL????? 

SLAP HIM BHAVYA SLAP THE FUCKING FUCK OUTTA HIM

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BOHUTTTTTT PEHLE KARNE CHAHIYE THA

bachpan se isse shivaay ne thapad maar maar ke bada kiya hota toh yeh aaj aisa nahi hota 

like, what the fuck did he even expect pulling a shitty stunt like that??? he’s lucky officer dad and manav didn’t just shoot his stupid ass dead. or get him arrested. 

wait... what? shivaay’s missing??!?!? AGAIN?!?!??! SOMEONE PUT A FUCKING GPS TRACKER ON THIS MAN. 

PLEASE TELL ME THEY BANGED. 

OR WAIT, LET THEM NOT HAVE. I CAN’T DEAL WITH A POSSIBLE ‘PREGNANT WHILE HUBS IS MISSING’ KINDA PLOT. PLEASE. NO PREGNANCY. NO KIDS. JUST PLEASE! 

[vr2]

*turn around in shorts that say its time for my fuckin opinion on the ass* hey sweaty read to choke on my bns hot takes for uh lets see here uh ... t-two thousand words....

first of all... im pretty easily entertained so if u fail to do that its so like something has gone horribly wrong. i can enjoy pretty much anything halfway decent and i hate nitpicking on shit. but nitpicking implies small problems and sometimes the problem is the whole fucking thing. but man the direction bns has been going in is like. it really be like that, it really be just the most blatantly boring and uninspired it could go and here’s my fucking video essay that i will not do you the honour of being read aloud since the force of my opinion would crush your skull like a grape if spoken in the real world. 

first of all. i generally didnt have a problem with act1 bns story, i honestly thought it had some cool characters, some COOL as fuck cutscenes and as a person that loves lore juice a lot of the characters held a lot of promise and the diary was a fun read despite being the absolutely worst most stupid way to deliver any sort of lore content.

the circular narrative, the tight ending and the callback to all the characters was pretty well-rounded, a little but hammy but adopting the hongmoon kids nad becoming the master of your school was pretty novel. i really felt like there were so many new places to go with this dynamic, like bns could do something new by giving the mc more stakes in other characters rather than being a complete wildcard drifter.

but they keep doing this fucking thing were they repeat story themes in a way thats become incredibly unwelcome. i can understand why npcs would become recurring characters, why certain objects etc are still relevant but the fact that beat for beat the endgame again is divine mandate, mushins there, namsoyoo in danger and someone gets killed off for the sake of idk tragedy i guess. 

i think the worse thing is that the game tries to be tongue in cheek about its tropiness and normally id be like ok cool but the tropes are executed just so fucking blandly and soullessly its kind of insulting like. they really absolutely did not fucking try in the slightest for this one. not at fucking all. 

ryu saying ‘oh it would be so bad if you passed out form poison at an inconvenient time’ and the obvious death flags from bunah and bunyang are incredibly grating when you have absolutely no fucking stake in the story, know exactly whats coming cause the writing repeats itself over and over and know the exact same beats. 

at the very least most people can stand tropey anime, hell you can even ENJOY it if you are absorbed into the world and characters and the tropes are executed well. but this story is wholesale just same fucking shit slightly different npcs. it feels like they tries to manufacture drama in the most blatantly cheap way and it really lets itself down. i could honestly see them killing ONE of the kids for cheap and dirty tearjerking but man all of them leaving you alone again with jsy is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo unebelievably lazy. we have entered asian tv drama levels but at least those are fucking interesting. even the dance number in this act was shit.

i think the most annoying thing is that bns is one of the first mmos i played way back when and i still genuinely like the game up to a point and i like the world and characters. im literally always moaning bout how they did fuck all with the eight masters but gave them the barest most tantalizing hints of interesting characterisation in the diaries. but i think that’s all you need. it doesnt need to be 24/7 ballz to the walls worldending tragedy shock tactics to be entertaining. it somehow feels like they played it so incredibly safe that they looped around and made the worst decision possible and i just really wish theyd hire just your random ass average fucking ln writer cause theyd at least make shit entertaining. like the long form story telling of a truple a game thats reaching nearly 10 acts now should definitely be better than this like. what a fucking way to drop the ball.  

now. my second bone to grind. tell me why they actively REMOVED? ALL SIDE QUESTS? what kind of game, especially an mmo would fucking remove its OWN lore? why would that make any fucking sense? especially for how lore-light this game is but how vast its world is like sidequests felt like the absolute BARE minimum way to furnish this admittedly underdeveloped world. they at least gave us that slight illusion of depth and some of them were even fun! interesting! i still remember the sidequest where you go on a ‘hostage rescue mission’ to save an npc’s son who was kidnapped by lycandi and the npc who fucking gave you the mission murders his own son in front of you cause he was bumpin with the lycandi like. it’s not fucking riveting writing but it gave some more context to the places you visit, it’s SOMETHING about the supposed people that inhabit the world and it clearly makes some places more memorable than just ‘cool sky desert’, ‘cool sky city’, ‘cool sky village’.

im vaguely aware that this was done cause it ‘confused players’ who thought they had to do blue quests to level up to endgame and firstable idk why bns pushes endgame as the only ‘good’ part when its like in my humble opinion really fucking boring. you know people play mmos for different reasons? not just to reach lvl 100 super tier omega hongmoon thornbuster breakre 5000 and be no.1 in pvp. just looking flashy and good combat isn’t really enough to compete these days. im guessing its a push to the esports scene but also like you really want to serve one side better by doing relateively arbitrary thing that fucks over pve ppl? like? 

also there ARE genuinely people interested in the world and content and story as exemplified by all the oc and various comics and even even some official webcomics like i honestly dont think nc at all in any way nurtures that side of their mmo nearly enough especially when you see how healthy and thriving ff14 and other communities are in their oc scene. the sheer fact that people still stuck around despite the experiene of playing bns being patently awfully optimised and an uphill battle in every single way is testament to the fact that maybe some people just genuinely like the game? gutting it is absolutely antithesis to that.

i actually cant wrap my head around purposefully deleting lore cause it makes ‘grinding to endgame’ too confusing like does the story take that low a priority? the fucking ACTUAL game and the story is less important than people mindlessly burning themselves out to endgame, grinding dungeons and buying lootboxes like you cant do in literally every other game anyways? why would you get rid of some of the only shit that makes your game even slightly different? like im not out here saying it was the most revolutionary great shit but at least the side quests TRIED to give a modicum of flavour to bns. like they at least attempted to add to all the zones and make them places rather than set pieces were story happens to you then you leave and never come back. it doesnt even have to be revolutionary amazing writing to do that it just needs to be serviceable to give even the slightest sense of depth.

but for some reason rather than idk. just tell people theyre just flavour text and theyre not compulsory or just toggle on/off the fucking blue quest markers you decide to fucking? nuke the already translated (which someone no doubt paid for), completely unintrusive, absolutely functional, if somewhat tedious sidequests? making the whole fucking game even MORE barren and lifeless? FOR FREE? what a fucking deal.

 i literally cannot understand this clownery this absolute idiot idea could only have been concocted by the specific brand of stupidity found only in corporate sales dept. but like i think its also emblematic of how this game has no creative direction other than make Money which is fucked cause theres genuinely many parts of this game that i enjoy from like characters, music, visuals theres A LOT of promise in bns even if it takes a lot of legwork to get to it. as much as people give htk shit he absolutely made this game what it is visually and thematically, the soundtrack fucking rocks, theres some solid characters and story elements, a lot of the game still holds up visually and som of it dare i say looks fucking good. give bns a try its free to play.

maybe ive just been spoiled by fgo and gbf and literally every other popular game ACTUALLY trying to write good shit. trying to give their readers lore, trying to make things genuinely ENJOYABLE as a game should be rather than a part time job. but man i always forget after act1 bns really reveals why its never broken out from being a midweight grindy mmo 

[00001100x-blog]

7:07; 150702

To my dearest baobei, my one and only Senpai #0,

Hi. If ever you’re wondering on why this started at July second, it’s because I kind of failed trying to type down what I wanted to say back in July first.

Actually, I’m not a fan of sending letters repeatedly because I have a tendency to write down the same things I wrote from the previous one and of course, it is boring just reading  the same stuff over and over again. But right now, I’m going to write something new. Some things I have never told you back on my previous letter.I don’t really know what I’ll be putting in here because as I told you in my previous letter, my ideas vanishes whenever I try to write you something. I don’t know why but they seem to hate me. ene

How many twelves has it been? Why does it feel like an eternity? Actually, I don’t really like celebrating this kind of things because I don’t want to measure how long we’ve been together but I just counted with a loud voice right now. February, March, April, May, June, July. From March, there were five twelves. (I actually panicked bcs I forgot March and April and I kept on counting February, May, June, July. /shot/)

I don’t know if I have told you that I actually planned on asking you on exactly Valentine’s Day and for some reasons, I was two days earlier. (But it was a good thing bcs became busy two days later) Idek why I’m telling you this but I’m really embarrassed right at this moment. Why did you do this to me I used to be nonchalant about being honest why am I so embarrassed right now this is not fair.

I don’t really know how this letter will go because I’m pretty sure this will be even more fucked up and gay unlike last time because this time, I promised to be as honest as I could and I don’t break my man words. I never break my man words. #mnalymannam

So yes, you have plastic surgeried into a J—Lee Taegyun and what the heck. Why do you look so much cuter for some reason? (I still haven’t forgiven that person who sent me a ton of your pictures okay. ene) What do you think would have happened if nanay Taeng didn’t expose your profile? Would we be reprimanded/ reported for yaoi-ing? /shot again/ Well, actually we were yaoi since the start so I don’t think it’s going to be a big issue. (I need my meds right now I think i’m getting mentally unstable again otl /shot)

I actually still am adjusting to your character change tbqh so I’m sorry if ever I don’t mention any names or misspell your name and mix it with Ambo. It takes me days (and even weeks) to adjust and I think I’m slowly getting into it though so I guess it wouldn’t be so hard anymore. unu

-8:13 -

-17:04-

If you have realized, there’s a reaaaaally huge gap on the time where I started and when I continued but you have been talking to me in between those hours. I don’t know why but I can’t really focus on writing this while I’m talking to you lately ‘cause I have been treating our time when we’re together so precious ‘cause we can’t talk as often as before unlike a few weeks ago where we had all the time for ourselves.

I kind of miss it.

You know, just… talking to you the whole day and acting so cute to “disturb” you. (I still think that I look so werd and that it’s stupid whenever I pretend to be a kitty/ puppy but I’m actually enjoying it whenever you’re all “omg u cute let me hug you ily eric” on me. /shot bcs why does this sound so weird)

Honestly, now that we’re a little more occupied, I just want to…

cLING ON YOUR LEG AND TELL YOU HOW MUCH I MISS YOU AND HOW MUCH I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU BUT CAN’T.

I don’t know with myself a hahahah a goodbye why do I sound like a child this is unfair i wanted to sound manly. D8

wHAT ELSE SHOULD I WRITE DOWN…

OH YEAH THAT-

You have been posting links on my wall and I know I tend to ignore some of them but I only ignore them bcs I’m on mobile and I wanted to see/ watch them first before giving my reactions on it. So yes, don’t feel so bad if I do so, Okay? unu

I know I tend to joke around and tell you I’d do really weird things (Like spilling your pictures to the whole sbliss community) but I don’t really mean all of them, okay? Just a few. I also don’t mean harm, okay. I only do that because… um… because I want attention. ouo

How am I saying this without getting so embarrassed though, I—

I’m going to get some air and cry at myself as I ponder on what I just typed and why I am typing this-

-18:27-

-9:04; 150703-

Okay, so as I said earlier, I have been bullying you a lot lately and I know at times I juust go overboard and do weird things. If you don’t like it though, just tell me to stop, ok? Because I don’t want you mad at me or anything unu. At times, I just don’t get the situation so easily. I’m just too dumb to handle at times. I’m sorry. Tbh, I don’t know how you deal with me whever I act like a kid and just annoy you the whole time. /shot/ I’m really sorry for being like this. Really.

I also know that whenever I play around and pretend as Tao and just blurt out really weird and cheesy crap like last time gets you in trouble (Like hurting yourself bcs I’m pretty sure you almost jumped off your seat while trying not to scream and squeal and contain all the feels last night). Tbh idk but I pretty much got a lil jealous when I found out you did bcs tao mentioned and Idk. I just… yeah. That.

And speaking of jealous, Forgive me if ever I suddenly say that I would “burn this /insert name/ guy right here”. It’s just that I really gET EASILY JEALOUS IDEK WHY BRB SOBBING AT MYSELF THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING WHERE IS MY MANLY NOW. But it’s true that I would gladly want to burn them men (and girls included at times tbqh) without any second thought.

Edit: I will seriously rip wonho’s head tho. ouo

But I’m a good boy so I won’t actually do it. ouo

-10:52 -

-9:09; 150704-

Okay. So yesterday, I just made the bravest decision in my life.

I have been the forbidden peach named Huang Zitao. Actually, I was really going to change even if I can’t change my name but that will be on the sixth.

Yes, on your birthday. Wow. Why am I even telling you this oh my gA

I don’t really plan on bullying you to be honest. I just want to legalize my AB puns. /shot so hard rn there’s blood everywhere/ And to be younger and not labelled a grandpa- /shot again- hEAD SHOT DOUBLE KILL/

I just realized that it has been days and it still hasn’t been as long as my last letter. For some reasons, I actually wanted it to be longer than the last one so hopefully it’ll be but I’m pretty sure you’ll get so bored in the middle of this and fall asleep at me since you’re a bear and all you do is sleep. /shot/ jkjk ily baobei

But really though. This letter is typed on microsoft word, Arial, size 8 and it’s only been two pages with 1,300+ words. It’s so short. And I was planning to add a thousand more to my word count goal. (So at least 3,000 words. Wow. I can make a novel with the letters I’m sending you xD)

So to make it longer, I will just tell you the cheesiest and most cringe- worthy puns and pickup lines I will hear and watch over on the next few days. I wanted to sound a little romantic but I just can’t. For some reasons, I just sound so lame whenever I do that.

And by lame, I meant so lame that people will just stare at me with a poker face and say “u kidding me bro?”

Yep.

oH I FOUND THIS POEM LIKE THING I KIND OF WROTE WHEN I WAS BORED.

But it isn’t as cheesy as the things I send you, alright. I’m just trying to sound like I’m gonna spoil you so much one day.

I don’t know if I should send you the whole thing but then I re-read it and laughed because there was a line that said: “I’ll make sure to time travel back to the Jurassic era to get you a dinosaur or ten”. I might have missed taking meds that day because time travelling sounds im—Wait- It’s not impossible for me now I just have to activate Tao pow—I think I’ve lost it- ouo

-10:20-

-10:47; 150707-

I haven’t been writing in this document for two/ three days because I was busy and I had to do a lot of other stuff but hERE I AM YAY AFTER A MILLION YEARS—

Alright, what else should I say?

So yes, I know I have rEALLY lacked a lot. I know at times I am a lil wimpy and I only know how to be logical and I really don’t fight back to people (Because if I do I’ll get back the worse way possible and I admit that I’m a nerd that’s why I don’t fight back) and you kind of saved my butt when the bs fight happened. unu (Truth is that I’m tired talking to her tbh and I’m not good at insulting others in front of their faces. /shot/ Also, I act like a kid a lot of times- Tell me if I’m getting annoying okay I just— idk why i’m doing it when I get really embarrassed doing aegyo on other people-

-11:51-

-13:34-

Warning: You’ll find the word sorry a lot from this point on.

If you don’t know, I’ve been trying to write something during my free time that’s why some are cliff- hanger-ed and some are just damn short. (Like your height. jkjk ily baobei) tbh, I feel bad about that- Not being able to write you something as long as my previous letter. You know that I get mad at myself if I fuck up or if I didn’t get things right. I actually am a little upset at myself for not being able to write paragraphs and paragraphs of cheese that I have promised myself to write in this letter.

I guess I failed again.

I’m sorry for always being like this okay? I just think I should do better the next time and surpass what I have done the last time. This is why I wanted to write at least 3,000 words because 2,700 is not enough. I just need to do much more for some reason. Honestly, I don’t even know why I have the need to do that when I barely challenged myself into something. Maybe it’s just not enough?

I still am wondering on why I still remember most of the things you tell me. Useless or not. (Yes, I still remember it. It’s red. You told me to forget but it just crossed my mind again.) I really am so sorry if I use it against you at times and teasing you about them. I just—you’re just so cute whenever I tease you and I can’t help but tease you more because you’re so cute. So much kawaii pls u kawaii. You’re a living kawaii god. /whispers/ jesus.

I actually wanted to put the word “my” before “kawaii god” but it just doesn’t sound so right. Not in a dirty way, though- But it kind of sounds as if I’m actually worshipping you and that’s just too extreme and it sounds a lil obsessed. (I wouldn’t mind worshipping you tho if you want to eue /shot/) It’s not that I don’t love you, okay. I just don’t want to sound so obsessed and weird though I’m pretty sure I would end up planking in the middle of the road and scream your name out in agony as the cars beep at me because I’m causing a traffic jam when you’re not around.

I think I’m a little overreacting right now and I should stop doing that.

sEE WHAT YOU DID TO ME YOU MADE ME THIS GAY I WASN’T THIS GAY BEFORE. unu

-13:58-

-17:02; 150709-

I blabber a lot of nonsesnse sometimes ok and it doesn’t mean that I do them on purpose. I really don’t want to make you mad or anything. You shouldn’t mind me if I do that ok. unu

Also, please do tell me when you’re upset ok. It makes me feel a lil bit uneasy and want to go back to my man words and wanting to leave because I start to have thoughts that it would be better if I disappear. I’m sorry. At times I just get to be really depressed and i do things that are beyond stupid.

Shoot. My head is aching even more. Hahahaha

Anyways, so, yes, I don’t know what in the fuck is wrong with me that I keep on fucking things up and stuff. I also don’t know why I keep on saying sorry but I am really, really sorry. I’m so sorry no words can describe how sorry I am.

Isn’t this a creative letter? Hahaha Sorries are most likely 95% of my letter.

… And I said it would be really cheesy this time. /shot/

-17:31-

-15:39; 150711-

I should be really honest right now and say that I really was supposed to do a few paragraphs each day but I failed. It’s not because I was abandoning it, okay. It was because I prefer to Talk to you and hug you and stuff than write something here. I also wasn’t really planning on making you a letter this time but then I thought I couldn’t really do anything more than that because I pretty much suck at things that I’m supposed to be good at.

Like making good puns.

… In which I was never good at.

But my AB puns are still unbeatable okay, b AB. eue /sHOT RIGHT AT THE SPOT/

I really think you don’t need to read this whole letter tbqh because It’s just full of nonsense crap anyways. The main point here (again) is that I love you so much. Very muuuuch. Like this -> o <-Because circles doesn’t end and I just love you that much okay. unu

But I guess I should end this letter reaaaal soon.

What else should I say?

Yeah. I’m a little short of my own word limit and this is dumb because I said I’d write 3,000 words and get you so bored reading this but I guess I failed. unu

Whatever, though. I already feel accomplished as I have finished another letter once again.

I love you so much.

Even if you’re so mean and you bully me a lot and you like taking advantage of things especially when it comes to aegyo. /shot bcs semi- describing myself/

-20:25-

-13:46; 150712-

But I guess I shouldn’t end this just yet.

I really don’t want to say thank you and stuff because I’m pretty sure that I’m trying my best to show you how thankful I am that you existed in my life ok. You always make me feel that I’m important even if I’m a really annoying weirdo sometimes.

About that one we had a fight, by the way, I only said it wasn’t a big deal but to be honest there was one time I really begged people so I can get one ok. tHIS IS EMBARRASSING OH MY gOD. And of course I’m sure you know all about that because Sica tells you all the embarrassing things I tell her and do in front of her.

But really though, I deleted most of what I got except for yours pls.

-14:02-

-16:19-

Wow. I’m so out of words now.

Actually, I already had this letter done last night but then the urge of dragging it longer is just so biG.

All I really want to say is that I love you even if you’re mean and you like calling me cute even if I’m trying to be manly in front of you.

I love you even if you’re a really big klutz and you’re confused all of the time.

I love you even if you’re the most imperfect creature in this world bcs pls there is no flawless creature in this world.

I love you because you’re you so no matter how dumb you get jUST REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU OK.

And never forget that bcs if you do I will seriously just… sulk in a corner there because I’m unmanly enough to do something manly about that.

Yes. And no matter what happens, you’ll be my small, fragile and kawaii oppa. (Even though you’re really not an oppa. Stop confusing ppl pls they’re starting to think we’re gay tho it’s kind of true that we’re gay.)

And seriously, okay. I will try my best to protect you even though the truth is that you’re the one who saves my butt.

But yes, I want to tell you that I love you so much. Very much. So much that words can’t explain it anymore. It’s unfathomable. (what the fuck am I saying. Hahahaha /shot/)

Let me say it again,

I love you, Jung Daeun.

So much.

-16:30-

By Huang Zitao, 71215

Total words: 3,021(Time and emoticons included)

Pages: 5 (portrait) 6 (landscape)