#but his family doesn't see that cause he's also a grown ass man

[little-hermit-crab56]

Does anyone ever think about how Garmadon was never truly a real villain, he was always a pawn in the real villain's scheme.

And even when he tried to be a villain on his own he failed poorly cause he was too soft, and his actions were impulsive rather than a well thought out overall scheme.

And how the two times he WAS the main villain it was just because the people using him made him believe that.

And how once the villain using him is defeated he immediately starts trying to be good again.

Because I think about that a lot...

[fastandcarlos]

Life With The Verstappen Family : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen

summary: a glimpse into the life of the verstappen family and your two little ones who are always causing chaos

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by schecoperez, redbullracing and 2,593,069 others

maxverstappen1: turns out being dad is the coolest thing in the world 💕

139,583 comments

username1: not max as a dad also being the coolest dad in the world

username2: the handsome dad vibes are strong in these pictures 💪🏻

danielricciardo: congrats my friend!!

landonorris: can't believe you're actually dad...wow you're old 😂

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris you're not exactly a spring chicken anymore yourself

username3: is it okay to be this jealous of a small child??

ynusername: can't wait to spend the rest of my life being mum and dad with you 💞

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername I'm definitely the lucky one between the two of us ☺️

username4: I can't believe we get to see dad max at the paddock next year

oscarpiastri: why is your tiny human so cute? clearly yn got all the good genes in there

redbullracing: welcome to the smallest member of our team, we can't wait to have you in the paddock soon!! 💙❤️

username5: the proud smile on his face actually melts my heart

username6: forever in love with max as a dad already 🤧

georgerussell63: who'd have thought you'd be the first to settle down, congrats you two!

charles_leclerc: dog dads are better than human dads btw 🤷🏻‍♂️

schecoperez: sending all my 'how to survive life as a dad' books your way my friend

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,472,293 others

ynusername: turns out max can’t ski and ydn is absolutely showing him up on the slopes ⛷️

138,291 comments

username7: omg look at how grown up yn is getting

maxverstappen1: imma just focus on the first photo and how much my little girl adores me...no idea what you're talking about with the skiing 🙄

username8: yn pls tell me you've got some videos of this lol

landonorris: he is the most uncoordinated man i've ever met and you chose to take him skiing 🤦🏻‍♂️

ynusername: @/landonorris it was ydn's choice, you know max can't say no to his little girl

carlossainz55: i'll have to show him how it's done one day

username9: not ydn falling asleep in max's lap, it looks so comfy there 🤩

username10: anyone else think that ydn looks more and more like max's twin everyday??

username11: how can one family be so cute? 🤔

alex_albon: lily told me you sent a video of max falling on his ass, please say I have permission to see it too?

ynusername: @/alex_albon it's all yours 😘

maxverstappen1: @/alex_albon @/ynusername hey i refuse to give permission for this!!!

lewishamilton: hope you guys are having the best time, tell ydn i've got the biggest cuddle waiting for her when i see her next

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, alex_albon and 1,799,391 others

maxverstappen1: all my babies ❤️🥺

189,382 comments

username12: i dont think my ovaries can take much more of these updates

username13: i can't deal with how adorable these are!! 😭😭

ynusername: guessing i'm not your baby anymore 💔

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername you'll always be my baby 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

landonorris: i thought I was your baby too???

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris go away before i block you again 🙄

charles_leclerc: btw dogs are still better than cats

username14: not charles starting a war of pets in the comments sections

username15: praying i come back as a cat so i can be adopted by the verstappens too 🤞🏻

georgerussell63: can you stop taking sickeningly sweet photos of your daughter so that we stop missing her during the off season please

alex_albon: ydn's position reminds me of how lily looked when i got home last night fast asleep on the sofa

lilymhe: @/alex_albon btw the couch is yours tonight now 🖕🏻

username16: how can these cute photos cause a domestic lmao

username17: it's always max causing trouble even when he doesn't mean to

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 994,293 others

ynusername: forever a third wheel when it comes to these two 🫶🏻

48,193 comments

landonorris: now you know how i've felt for the past six years 🤷🏻‍♂️

username18: i'll come and save you yn!!

danielricciardo: you should be used to it...you third wheeled us for several seasons

username19: ydn is such a daddy's girl its unreal 🤩

maxverstappen1: stop making people feel sorry for you, you choose to hang back and take all these photos hahah

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 JUST LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT

username20: i can't cope with how unserious these two are as parents 😂😂

username21: i wonder if ydn realises how lucky she is getting to travel the world with max verstappen by her side

oscarpiastri: just so you know, lando laughed out loud when he read the caption to this

ynusername: @/oscarpiastri just so you know, he's the worst!

username22: yn must be desperate for another baby so its 2v2

username23: even as a third wheel I'd be happy just being that close to max

schecoperez: come and hang out in my driver room instead!! 💙

lilymhe: i'll save you bestie

ynusername: @/lilymhe knew i could rely on you 😘

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by alex_albon, sebastianvettel and 1,382,291 others

maxverstappen1: why does no one ever warn you that two kids are so much harder to control than one 😂

89,503 comments

username24: emilian you knew what you signed up for when you got yn pregnant

danielricciardo: now imagine being christian trying to take control over both of us hahah 😂😂

username25: max and one kid was cute but max and two kids...wow

schecoperez: you should've listened to me i did warn you

ynusername: all I can see is ydn getting dangerously close to that water you fool 🤦🏻‍♀️

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername i've got everything under control don't worry

username26: how can any man complain when you're kids are that cute

charles_leclerc: i keep reminding you that me and alex are happy to babysit whenever you want us

maxverstappen1: @/charles_leclerc alex I trust...you...well 🤫

username27: its the colour coordinating with ysn that does it for me

username28: is everyone going to ignore how grown up those two babies look these days

landonorris: i can come and join you and see what it's like to practice for baby number three if you want? 😂

username29: lando norris you menace

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton and 2,392,605 others

maxverstappen1: nothing better than when my two loves come and cheer me on, I promise you they are impressed by what daddy does, even if their faves suggest otherwise 🥺

194,382 comments

username30: cannot wait for my social media to be filled with verstappen baby content this weekend

ynusername: no way we're missing a home race, good luck for this weekend my love 💕💕

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername thank you for bringing them to support me, you're the best

username31: max looks so happy to have them there omg

username32: i wish someone looked as happy as max does to have me around them ❤️

carlossainz55: if they don't appear in ferrari at some point this weekend i'm never speaking to you again

alex_albon: and the williams garage!!!

pierregasly: alpine are expecting a visit too!

danielricciardo: and rb, it would be rude not to after all 🤷🏻‍♂️

username33: ydn and ysn are the most popular people in the paddock this weekend hahah

username34: i can't cope with how obsessed everyone is over these two

lewishamilton: i can't believe how big they are, where does the time even go?

georgerussell63: @/lewishamilton you mean to say you've already seen them and I wasn't there to join you 🫢

username35: poor yn won't get a second to breathe racing around all these garages

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,492,503 others

ynusername: introducing the team to their favourite drivers, and charles 😂

79,305 comments

username36: ah we got the photos to prove they visited guys

charles_leclerc: you best be kidding or i'm never babysitting for you ever again 😡

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc jokes we love you really

danielricciardo: it was lovely to see team verstappen again after so long 💞💞

landonorris: btw ysn said that i was his favourite so snooze you lose max!!

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris if you want to believe my son prefers you to me you think that my friend

username37: look at how soft they all become when they're around verstappen babies ☺️🥺

username38: i just want someone to look at me like charles looks at ysn

georgerussell63: still waiting for my turn excuse me

carmenmmundt: pls come and visit before george actually explodes 🥺

ynusername: @/carmenmmundt i promise we're on our way!!

username39: do people even go to f1 for racing anymore or just to see ysn and ydn??

username40: i saw the four of them at the gates this morning and I swear i've never seen anything cuter...

carlossainz55: there better be another post filled with photos of me and ydn coming up

oscarpiastri: lando has not shut up about the fact he saw you guys...now look what i've got to put up with 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, schecoperez and 2,583,604 others

maxverstappen1: a tribute to the woman that holds our team together, I couldn’t do this without you yn, the best mum and wife in the world ❤️❤️

105,583 comments

username41: how yn puts up with two kids and max i will never know

ynusername: it's the easiest job in the world being by your side with our two little treasures 🏎️🥺

landonorris: yn deserves a medal having to deal with you day in day out

georgerussell63: i've lost count of how many times i've seen yn running around the paddock for you, ysn or ydn

username42: i swear yn is just the best mum ever ❤️

username43: i want to be adopted by yn and yn only

carlossainz55: not forgetting the fact she now is in charge of your two cats too

charles_leclerc: at this point she's pretty much mum to us drivers too with how well she keeps us all in check 😂

username44: i thought it was just fans obsessed with the verstappens, turns out its the drivers too

username45: i expected nothing less from this group of boys who are absolutely whipped for yn

username46: its official, the verstappens are just the best 🫶🏻💕☺️

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[i-cant-sing]

Ok. Ok. HEAR ME OUT. Miguel hanging out with reader (shes chained to the chair) and feeding her (shoving food down her throat) bc she mentioned she hadn't eaten anything while Miguel was out handling business (beating up a child)

Ommg yess but like imagine reader being a spider person and unbeknownst to her, Miguel has grown really fond of her, seeing her as his own daughter and so he... dotes on you. Look, his family loss is still fresh, so he has this abundance of platonic love that he just needs to pour and you are luckily (or not) that person.

And papa Miguel is like trying so hard not to show that he cares about your well being, but HE DOES and he's always worried about you and he just wants to pull u out of the field and tell u its too dangerous for u to be spiderman, but he doesn't wanna say it because then he'll have to explain his concern for u and I've already told u guys that he's an emotionally crippled father who cant say "I love you" but their actions always scream out the words.

So, he thinks its best to just take care of you as best as he can without arousing suspicion from you or pulling u out of the field (cause he knows u love being a hero). He makes you food(mostly mexican because everything else doesn't have enough spice and it doesnt matter if u cant handle spice, you will LEARN to), okay? I mean good, homecooked meals, 3 times a day and he expects you to eat breakfast and dinner(ofcourse u have a curfew) with him. But lunches? well, since you're always on missions during lunch time, he packs u up some food for u to take and he always checks your bento box (ALSO SPIDERMAN THEMED OBV) but perhaps this one day, you forgot to or didnt want to take your lunch along (a very tasty burrito) and when Miguel sees your lunch in his kitchen, he is LOSING it all. My man here is making himself go crazy(ier) by overthinking the worst possible scenarios (because this is unusual behavior in his textbook) and he sends a sort of AMBER alert on your ass because you're not answering his calls/texts(cause ur busy fighting bad guys) and Miguel just sends the ENTIRE spider society to find where you are and bring you home ASAP. Obv the spider society follows his orders to bring you because he's boss man and he probably has some important reason to drag ur ass home and not because papa's heart cant handle that his baby missed lunch???

Omg can you imagine reader finally finishing tying up the bad guys and now stops by a pizza place to grab a slice and girl looks outside to see 100 spidermans swinging around, all coming her way. These guys all shoot enough webs until you were practically cocooned in them and perfectly immobilised, and then they all open up the portal to deliver u to Miguel.

And Miguel just shoos them all away before he begins to free u from the webs and asks where u were, what happened, did the bad guys hurt u, were u kidnapped.

"Yeah-" you pulled the webs out of your hair. "-by your men!" And Miguel explains that he sent them after you because he thought something bad happened to u.

"Why would you think that?"you inquired.

Because you forgot your lunch at home. No, he cant say that.

"I- my spider senses were telling me to. I guess they were wrong." Now before you could ask more questions, he changes the topic. "Anyways, you must be hungry. Lets eat lunch-"

"No, I actually ate a slice of pizza before I was brought here-" you start but Miguel glares at you as he pulls out a dish of enchiladas from the oven, placing it in front of you.

"You will eat. You're hungry."

"I'm actually not. Like I was saying-" but he glares at you again, piling up your plate with enchilidas.

"I wasn't asking, mija." He hands you the utensils, red eyes piercing you. "You are hungry, and you will eat. Now."

[amethystheartsx]

GIRLL THEM ACCOMPANYING US FOR FHISE BIG FAT WEDDINGSS

Your wish is my command. (Xavier rafayel zayne) part two soon.

Xavier

Xavier is not a fan of huge events and bustling crowds, he is a sleepy baby who needs a comfortable place to nap from time to time, but he is also aware that sometimes due to certain reasons you simply can not skip these weddings and there is no way in deepest pits of hell he is going to let you go all by yourself looking THAT good.

Xavier would help you choose outfits, he is not that helpful. Not his fault you look pretty in everything to him so he will ne saying yes to every dress you show him.

Guard dog alert.

He simply doesn't mingle with anyone without you, greeting only those whom you greet.

Only time he might leave your side is to get food. That's it.

Or to take nap lol.

You know that one random baby that you find in your room completely knocked out asleep? Yeah that except make it 6'2 fully grown adult man.

Alright! Jokes apart. Xavier is charismatic in natural sort of way. His royal like demeanor makes every one admire him from afar, but passive dissmive face of his keeps everyone at bay, not actively trying to reach out to meet him.

110% percent will co-ordinate with you by demand. His reasoning

"Everyone should know that you and I are together"

Proceeds to be your shadow. Especially while you dance.

Will fix your duppata make sure if you are wearing something floor length it doesn't get stuck anywhere.

Also makes sure no running kids bump in to you.

Prying men off left and right.

Your cousin tries to pass you something, he takes it from the guy and gibes it to you personally, he knows he is gonna get an earful from you. He can handle it.

When its finalllllyyyyyy time to ho home he is going to have his reward for being a good sport.

Rafayel

Excited to attend more then he ever is for his own galas or exhibition.

His claims they are much more vibrant and fun with lively people unlike the boring ones with pretentious people or leeches.

Is more into picking outfits then you.

*cue a glam up montage*

No seriously he is picking out your accessories then making sure his look co-ordinate with yours.

"Now this is what I call a power couple look, I am afraid my bride out shines everyone"

He beams with pride seeing you mingle like hell yeah that girl is mine MF. Kisses you in not so secret, he will ne so pink each time, people will know what happened

Unless he finds the uncle and aunty you hated because they were toxic and problematic. Then its.on.sight!

*cue you dragging his sassy ass away*

Partakes in every traditional activity, thoroughly enjoys it with those whom you love and adore. I have mentioned it in my previous HC post that he deeply cherishes it. Is curious about the back story behind most of them.

Catch him listening to the lore and history behind the cultures from one of your older relatives.

Will find a secure spot layer for you and him to unravel after getting drained out of social battery.

Doesn't dance himself but will be at a safe distance watching you before eventually giving in and join you as well.

Uh oh somebody handed him a mic!

Prepare for the performance of a lifetime. Remember he is a siren.

No but seriously he sings so well AMD then blushes when get praised by your family.

If he catches some people gibing you two odd looks he would lean I to say things like.

"Maybe you should do that round chilli thing for evil eye."

You have no idea who told him that but now he won't stop till you do that so he can rest easy.

No evil eye is gonna cause you AMD him problem nu huh.

Zayne

Somewhere in between rafayel and Xavier, he doesn't like noisy places much but will admit Desi weddings have certain charms.

When you are getting dressed he will pointed out pros and some of things you lay out in front of him, giving you a better idea of to go with.

His hand was going for a black shirt but the moment he seed you giving him death glare from behind he gulps and pick a maroon shirt instead. Now you are back to your princess self tehehe.

Also a shadow.

Like for real you are not going to have one on one conversation with anybody, he can't help it. You look so good he just needs to be close for no other reason then maybe because he cherishes every single second, and he'd rather not be anywhere else if he can't be with you.

Zayne will make sure you eat right, that you are hydrated.

Will carry your heels and best believe he kept a pair of fuzzy slippers knowing damn well you'd need them later.

Things get steamy on the way back tho.

Again, don't blame him. You were looking too good and yes he is a composed and well mannered person but he is also a man and you are *his* girl. He is allowed to show you just how crazy you drive him.

_________________________________________

[pruneunfair]

Rating all of Rashtas sins *very long*

I saw the Matty bites livestream of this with a tier list and I wanted to do my own spin on it. I'll be rating like this

(Really?) 1-10 (whats wrong with you!?) Also fair warning, I might be missing a few sins too.

Smirking at Naviers divorce trial: 0.5/10 okay? I guess that's something but she's not doing anything but revealing to the audience she's not an angel.

Becoming Sovieshus mistress in the first place: 0/10, when you are a slave with no other hope for a good life, you take that golden ticket dammit, and don't even try to say you wouldn't do the same thing. ITS THE EMPEROR!

Calling out to Navier: 0/10, again how is that a bad thing other then being a tad weird? 😭 "she needs to learn her place! How dare she call our queen by her name!" Hope yall know Navier would likely just smile at you and move on with her life, you aren't gonna get picked by the imperial family just for cussing out someone the empress dislikes

tearing Naviers dress: 1/10, it was an accident on Rashtas part and to say that she tore it on purpose cause she knew it would get Laura in trouble later is just reaching, who do yall think she is? Hannibal? Cause that's not someone who fought in the punic wars, that's an uneducated girl with age regression. Either Rashta is stronger then we think or Navier really needs to get a better tailor if that dress tore with a single tug.

Smirking when Laura got imprisoned: 1/10 still weird sure but Laura was being a bitch, and Rashta was just happy for once someone couldn't treat her like dirt. If you still can't see how that's not so bad, try to imagine watching your sibling get in trouble for hitting you or your bully getting sent to the principals office, yes they're not comparable to a woman being imprisoned but it was around that same feeling.

Saying that Navier takes expensive gifts for granted: 0/10, Rashta was just speaking facts and I'll stand by that. You could say she's just saying that to put Navier down but either way, she's right! Of course a former slave who had nothing is gonna think that way about the nobility.

Calling Navier her sister: 3/10, yeah that's pretty damn weird, I have no clue where Rashta heard that from so I'm gonna guess that Sovieshu mislead her or something, It's very understandable as to why Navier would be uncomfortable but again, Rashta didn't do that on purpose, she's just misunderstood since it was common for nobles to have mistresses.

Sitting in Naviers chair and later crying to Sovieshu about it: 0/10, first of all, Rashta was mislead into thinking it was fine because a maid or noblelady told her "nah it's cool, the empress doesn't come here at this time of the day." Only for Navier to show up and deliver a sick ass burn to Rashta. 2nd of all we don't see much of what Rashta told Sovieshu (it was probably exaggerated ngl) but that doesn't make it her fault when he yells at Navier and brings Rashta her own chair. Like.. I doubt she demanded he go scream at Navier.

Wanting to join Navier and Heinrey: 1/10, a little intrusive sure but I'm sure she just wanted the chance to get to know more people, not terrible just Rashtas desire to be the biggest extrovert known to man.

Taking Sovieshus attention at the new years ball: 0/10 once again, how is that her fault when its Sovieshu who made the decision to abandon Navier!? 🤦‍♀️ he's the Emperor and a grown ass man. If he wants to ruin his marriage that's on him, not Rashta. Yes, she does cry to him when Heinrey rejected her but at the same time, who else would want to talk to the concubine who's the bane of existence for almost everyone?

wearing blue silks that were rejected and "stealing" viscountless Verdi: 0/10, I'm pretty sure Sovieshu just gave Rashta those silks and ngl, she looks amazing.

and abour the whole Viscountess Verdi thing, apparently she was Naviers lady in waiting who quit and flocked to Rashta, again, it's not Rashtas fault Verdi decided to switch teams! She even tells Verdi she can go back to Navier if she wants.

Copying Naviers mannerisms- 3.5/10, alright finally something that's more than a 3, this is pretty weird but not what I would call evil, just uncomfortable and even annoying. But in Rashtas defense, everyone tells her that Navier is the epitome of perfection that all women strive to be more like. She goes about it wrong but it is for the intention of improving herself for the royal court.

Sending her friend to pretend to be Heinreys pen pal and later doing it herself: 7/10, yeah that's pretty bad and straight up mean girl behavior but like.. why? What does Rashta get from this? She has Sovieshu so money and protection is not a worry, it was literally here to move the plot along and make the idea of a slave as the villain less uncomfortable.

begging and crying to be allowed to join the special banquet and then lying that she never wanted to go at all: 4/10, that's overstepping a little bit, it'd also be a big danger for Rashta since she'd be surrounded by nobles who would mostly likely despise her for her lack of etiquette and the fact that she's a mere concubine, although it is kind of trashy to change the story, that's a move any of us would pull to save us the embarrassment.

Fainting at the banquet after seeing Lotteshu, causing Sovieshu to take it out on Navier: 0/10, another case of "blame Rashta for Sovieshu being a shitty husband!"

Working with Lotteshu: 2/10 as dumb of a decision as it becomes. Rashta is being blackmailed by her former slave owner and he's keeping her son who she thought was dead, I'm pretty sure her mind was not in the right place at that time since she was just out of a panic attack and dealing with nasty rumors.

Wanting to go to the villa with Sovieshu for Naviers birthday: 4.5/10, that's a weird thing to want to do for the woman who by now dislikes you a lot but she doesn't even go so whatever, although calling Sovieshu "her man" was out of pocket.

"All his majesty will be thinking about while he's ill is me..": 2/10, damn Rashta, that's a pretty underhanded remark but again, it's just an underhanded remark with no one but Duke Ergi around anyway. And from what she's seen, Sovieshu doesn't care about Navier at all so it makes a little sense she'd think that.

Asking Navier for her allowance early: 0.5/10, that money is going to be used for Lotteshu so she can keep him mouth shut so the desperate need for that cash now is reasonable, (how tf is this even considered a sin in the commenter's eyes?)

Implying that Nian has multiple lovers: 4/10, I mean... does she not? But in all seriousness, this was likely an accidental micro aggression since Rashta was just told that it's normal for nobles to have multiple partners.

Following Navier around: 5/10, that's just encroaching on stalker territory now so I can't really blame Navier for telling her to cut it out along with the very truthful "he doesn't like me, so why would he like you if you acted like me?" I can kind of get why Rashta decided to follow her since she knows Navier wouldn't want to teach her, which is considerate I guess in her weird little way.

Copying Naviers dress and claiming it was the former who copied: 8/10. Straight up classic mean girl right there. This scene still confuses me to some level but whatever, it's still a nasty move on Rashtas part.

Resurfacing rumors about Nians infidelity: 7.5/10, while she does have her reason by wanting to divert the rumors from herself that's still fucked up to intentionally fan the flames of an already messy marriage like that, HOWEVER! It is still the Dukes fault he divorced Nian without rechecking the facts. Rashta was at fault for resurfacing rumors yes but the Duke is old enough to be able to conduct actual research instead of listening to a stranger he met at a party. Plus, Nian is basically this worlds Leonardo DiCaprio (she gets with a man young enough to be her son and she's in her 40s+ she welcomes another man into her haram afterwords) not using this as justification for Rashta but the possibility of Nian cheating is not low.

Getting Landre put on deathrow: 0/10, (another "sin" that was the fault of someone else) so after she spread the rumors, one of Nians little lap dogs stabs her with a knife, putting her and her unborn child at risk, and while Landre didn't know yet that Rashta was pregnant, he still stabbed a woman for another woman!! Sorry Landre but you don't get be shocked when the Emperor is pissed that you would try to murder his concubine to avenge your celebrity crushes honor.

not making an effort to see Ian: 3/10, dear God this one is really complicated.. alright, Rashta had Ian with Alan when she was a slave. She was then told the baby died after childbirth and handed her a dead baby so the child wouldn't have to be raised by a slave.. so when she's told that he's alive, she rejects the idea of visiting him. There are a lot of factors to this and why I think it was probably the best decision to make. First of all, she had no chance to bond with her son already making it uncomfortable for her, second of all, if she were too visit him it would the both of them in danger (which could easily be solved if Sovieshu just communicated and told Rashta he knew about Ian) third of all, she does feel really guilty for making such a decision because she starts crying while apologizing and later takes some of his hair from Alan when the coast is clear. To say she never loved her son is wrong and it's clear she still has love for Ian.

Asking Navier to bless her unborn child: 3.5/10, really weird but Navier did get Rashta a sword for the babyshower (a sword that was a backhanded compliment by the way but Rashta didn't know) so I guess Rashta assumed Navier was on good terms now. When Navier refuses, it's Sovieshu who makes her bless the child so once again.. not Rashtas doing, it was Sovieshu.

Crying when she realizes her baby will be illegitimate: 6/10, Rashta honey I love you but come on now. I'm sure by now you have to know how monarchies like this typically work.

Confronting Navier about the sword gift: 1/10, can't blame Rashta for being upset that Navier humiliated her at her own babyshower, she had a right to confront her, what she does next though...

Insulting Navier and then pretending that Kosair pushes her after he yelled at her for it, 9/10, that whole jab at Naviers infertility was a low blow and by pretending to fall over, it put the baby at risk. Not cool Rashta, not cool.

Kosair gets banished as a result: 5/10 yeah I'll admit, Rashta played a hand in that and it's a time I won't entirely blame Sovieshu for that since he believed Kosair tried to injure his pregnant lover but he still got the final say regardless.

Telling Alan to fuck off: 0/10 that was girlboss of Rashta to tell Alan how it is. They can try to portray Alan as a soft boy who made a mistake all they want, Rashta had every right to snub her abuser and walk out like the bad bitch she is.

Slapping Lebetti: 0/10 more girlboss moments of Rashta there. Lebetti was basically talking shit and spewing crap like "You never got anywhere as my brothers plaything, I'm better than you cause Navier is willing to speak to me." Nah Rashta you don't let her talk like that you pop her in the mouth! Commenter's got real mad when their self insert got a taste of her own medicine.

Getting fake parents: 4.5/10 eh, it's not as if there's no reason, she does need evidence of a noble background so she doesn't get put out as the center of rumors and the parents in question weren't tricked, they were fully aware Rashta wasn't their bio daughter.

Giving Lebetti the same dress as her so she could make it seem like Lebetti copied her: 3/10. What? You expect me to feel bad for Lebetti just because she's a sweet baby when she's around Navier? Fuck that, that was just a dose of revenge.

Getting drugged with Abortion drugs...:0/10, how the FUCK was that Rashtas fault!? "She lied about Kosair the first time though!" And Kosair is also a grown ass man! He only made the situation for himself worse when he tried to make Rashta miscarry, and it's the one time I wouldn't blame Rashta for suspecting Navier had something to do with it since you know, he's her brother and Navier has disliked her since the beginning.

Ripping the feathers out of a bird and framing Navier for it: 10/10, yep, that's fucked up on all levels. Yeah she felt remorse for it but animal abuse is still animal abuse, all to pin the blame on Navier.

Wearing a flashy dress to the divorce ceremony: 2/10, she was going wear something more toned down and even questioned if wearing a pink dress with diamonds was a good call, and Ergi, a Duke who from Rashtas perspective would know the ins and out of regal life, told her "nah it's fine to wear this, show them what a boss bitch you are now."

Being excited to the empress: 0/10, apparently this is considered bad since Navier was the original empress, girl stfu and don't act like you wouldn't jump for joy if you were told you'd get to me the empress consort.

Getting peeved that her fake mom would cry about her lost daughters: 8.5/10 this isn't even just a messed up thought thats straight up inconsistent behavior. Rashta lost her own child, she of all people should know the pain of losing a baby! She didn't say it out loud but dear God the inconsistencies are killing me slowly.

Wanting a glamorous wedding dress: 1.5/10, simpler designs do suit Rashta best but at the same time it's her damn wedding and she barely has any autonomy as it is. Can't blame her for being upset when she's told she has to wear a simpler gown.

Lying to a journalist: 5/10, to be fair, Rashta had no plan for this and relied on Ergi, who told her to say she wanted the best for commoners so it would lower her reputation with the nobles.

Being irresponsible with the money Navier left for her: 8/10. On one hand it's not unreasonable that Rashta would assume that Navier was doing this to mock her (after all the money wasn't even to help Rashta, it was for the empire) but still, Rashta fucked up by donating it all in her name, that's on her, not Navier.

Being worried about Sovieshus love for her and getting upset when Delice defends him: 6/10. I wouldn't call this true evil, just Rashta taking it out on the wrong person, she was right on some level that Delice doesn't know it all since she does have a crush on him but the way she handled it could've been better.

Wearing an extravagant gown on her wedding day: 0/10, this ones just hilarious 😂, your telling me, that a royal bride from an era that's most likely in the late 1700s to 1800s, would be made fun of BY NOBLES mind you, for wearing an expensive dress. Yeah, uh, that's not a sin, that's just what most royal brides would do including ones like Queen Victoria and Catherine the great. In the words of Matty Bites she may be a broke bitch but she wants to be the prettiest bitch at the party.

faking another illness/fainting spell on her reception to claim Navier is out for her: 7/10, just more stupid shit that doesn't have long lasting consequences. It's bad for sure but Sovieshu doesn't even buy it anyway now that he's obsessed with Navier.

Being upset that Sovieshu is pining after his ex: 1/10. It's gotta sting for sure if the man who upended everything including his marriage to his first wife to be with you ends up ignoring you while crying and bitching about the ex he left for you.

Trying to appeal to nobles by throwing a party and dressing and acting like Navier: 5/10, again, that's weird as hell but not straight up evil, it does go against her whole thing about being for the commoners but she kind of hates both sides anyway.

The Delice incident: 10/10, framing a loyal maid for placing feathers in your pillow to deface you and later having her tongue torn out? Yeah sorry Rashta that wasn't very bad bitch of you this time.

smirking at Naviers wedding when she thinks something went wrong: 1/10 just saying she could've done so much worse, like wearing full white.

Once again calling Navier her sister now that they are both empresses: 6/10, it's not like the first time since now Rashta is just doing it to one-up Navier but I can't see it is as anything threatening since Navier just roasts her like usual, causing Rashta is retreat.

Being interested in Kaufman: 4/10, she didn't really do anything to him since he was already under the love potions effects and Rashta happened to be the person he first saw, she misunderstood the whole situation, and it's not like Sovieshu is really known for being loyal so if she did want to cheat, I wouldn't blame her.

being suspicious and upset when she thinks Evalie is here to be Sovieshus new mistress: 6.5/10, it's pretty hypocritical but still reasonable to be worried since she's gotta assert her position as empress so she won't get divorced and separated from her child. And Evalie rubbing salt in the wound wasn't helping (and frankly stupid considering she only did that because she was displeased that Navier was gone)

once again lying to the journalist about where Delice went, 9/10 "Oh your sister who was my maid went missing? That's horrible! she's totally not in my dungeon with one her senses permentally removed!".. what the hell.

Hiring maids and pitting them against eachother to see which are most loyal to her: 8.5/10, now she's just playing God at this point, the maids who are loyal to her get special treatment and their parents are prisoners and their lives are basically put at stake and those who mess up even a little... yeah uh, going on to out next sin.

Executing a maids dad after said maid accidently spread a minor rumor: 10/10, that poor man probably had no clue why he was sent to the gallows after being such a model prisoner. The maid (I think her name was Barta) snaps and hits Rashta with a chair, giving her a permanent scar, after Barta is likely imprisoned for attacking the empress she frees the mother of the maid who snitched. Can't defend Rashta on this one.

Having Phix killed to leave behind no evidence she hired an assasin: 10/10 okay yeah that is definitely awful and it's straight up murder but now it's just pulling characters out of the stories ass to fulfill a role to assert the message that Rashta is evil.

Giving a port to Duke Ergi: 7/10, this is when Rashta is really starting to lose it. She's desperate for her only friend to stay by her side and accept her feelings, Ergi then asks for a port to which Rashta accepts with a smile that can only read "dear God, someone just end my misery",

Relishing in Evalies parents slapping Evalie: 5/10, yeah, considering those people are slapping their daughter without knowing it, it's pretty harsh but Rashta didn't order them to do that, the parents did so that's on them. Rashtas only crime was her lack of remorse

Entrusting Nikki to steal Evalies necklace: 7/10, pretty damn mean but compared to the metal shit she did already it's baby stuff. Very creepy though.

Putting out a hit on Naviers parents: 10/10, this is just getting ridiculous now since what the hell was the purpose other then more obligatory "Rashta bad" moments, but it's still awful and messed up to try and kill someone's parents so a 10/10 it shall receive

Selling Lebetti into slavery: 9/10, okay while I don't really care about Lebetti being a slave now since she's been nothing but a brown nosing bitch everytime she's on screen, but selling someone into a marginalized group you were in is still messed up.

Keeping Evalies origins hidden from her parents: 8/10, now this makes all the times the parents looked down on Evalie even worse.

Being disappointed when her babies a girl: 1/10, this was extremely common in eras like that because daughters weren't seen as important and if a woman couldn't give birth to a son and the husband was getting impatient, he could divorce her and keep the daughters as property. So I can't blame Rashta too much when she realizes this, plus she does come to realize she could never blame Glorym for being a girl.

throwing her baby: 5/10. This one is also really complicated. Rashta already loved Glorym with all her heart and wanted the second chance to be a mom. But the traumas of her past combined with the guilt in the back her head for her past transgressions causes a PTSD attack causing her to toss what she believes is a dead baby in her arms. Rashta does later feel extremely guilty for this in the novel, since it wasn't her intention but it also put Gloryms life in danger, I gave it a half rating

Trying to kill her dad: 1/10, fuck that guy honestly he sold his own child into slavery, if anyone deserves to be the target of Rashtas Wrath it's that fucker. Unfortunately Sovieshu shut down what could've been great revenge

Wanting to use someone else's baby to practice so she can hold Glorym: 6/10, I fully understand that Rashta is desperate to be a mother and just wants to be trusted but I think she should stick to stuffed animals for the time being.

Telling Alan to get lost when he shows up with Ian, demanding she raise him like a prince: 2/10, even Rashta isn't that stupid, Ian is not the Emperors son, so he can't become a prince and it's just being greedy since that kid will still live a good life as a future Viscount. Alan, you already fucked up one time too many, you made your bed when you let Rashta think her child was dead (and it's implied he still assaulted her after that) now lay in it.

Bringing the sword to Naviers babyshower: 4/10, eh, can't blame her for the petty revenge there. Navier did humiliate her first.

Implying that the only reason Navier has Heinrey is because she rejected him: 6/10, basic mean girl comment that backfires, why am I even shocked anymore (honestly though the "are you interested in my husband's or are you interested in me?" Line goes hard.)

Killing a maid after she helped her escape and dooming herself just before her trial: 10/10 *sigh* why do we even bother anymore.

I think that's everything, let me know if I missed something.

Anyway, what did we conclude from this? Well Rashta was a compelling antagonist and when people weren't shitting on her enough. She became the ultimate evil with plots and schemes that made no damn sense and she became known as the most evil empress in history, everyone hated her from beginning to end, she was used and made into a tool as revenge for being mean to Navier, and she dies in a cell feeling guilty for everything she's ever done. You know what? At least she has that, she still had remorse and paid the price which is more than I could say for almost everyone else in this series who got nothing but consequences free rewards. Slavery is still a thing, Lebetti gets to raise Ian, Sovieshu stays in power, Ergi runs away with his mom and apparently marries Evalie (ew) and Heinrey gets away with murdering innocent people just because they worked for a guy who's son attempted a hit on her...

You know what? I'm starting to think Rashta wasn't punished for being evil and she was just punished for being evil without her supporting Navier license.

[restinslices]

I don’t know if I requested this already but how do you think the Lin Kuei bros would react when each of them got their first gf?

It’s 5am but I’m avoiding sleep cause sleep paralysis been kicking my ass recently so here we are. I didn’t know if you were imagining a certain age or how detailed you wanted it so they’re all at different ages

Bi-Han

Bi-Han doesn't have that much experience when it comes to dating even if he's the oldest brother 

Growing up he was taught to mainly focus on his clan since he'd be the next Grandmaster so naturally dating is something that was at the back of his mind 

When he got his first girlfriend he'd probably be older. So he's mature when it comes to handling himself but he's not mature when it comes to romantic relationships 

I think the first week would be the hardest because he's both nonchalant but also worried if that makes sense

Nonchalant because he doesn't physically show any emotion besides disdain but also worry because whenever he hears about new relationships, people are always so giddy. They're glowing. They're jumping up and down and are cuddled next to their partner all the time. 

Bi-Han though? He doesn't do any of that. He's not sure what he should do and since he doesn't know, it makes him worry that maybe he made the wrong choice. Maybe he took the bit of affection you gave him and ran with it and it went outta hand 

After that first week though, he still wants to be with and around you so he starts to relax and realize he just reacts differently to things 

Some things he would struggle with since this is his first relationship. He'd struggle with the idea of being around his partner so often. Does he enjoy your presence? Yeah. But he also wants a lot of alone time 

Idk how long his first relationship would last. He gives me both “we're in this forever” and “forever isn't realistic” vibes. 

I honestly don't think he'd change much, which probably has a lot to do with the fact that he's a grown man. He's past all the intense teenage emotions. 

I don't even think his partner would notice a difference tbh. He trails behind you more but besides that, he still acts like your friend Bi-Han which isn't necessarily a bad thing 

Because it's his first relationship, I don't see him initiating things like physical touch that much. I think his partner would have to either ask or hint at it 

Cutsey things just don't come naturally to him. 

Is he happy about his first relationship? Absolutely. He just doesn't see the big deal with certain things like hand holding or other romantic expectations. Honestly I can see that being the cause of his first relationship ending depending on who it is but if it's someone that's on the same wavelength or understands lack of affection doesn't mean lack of love then I could see it lasting forever. 

Kuai Liang 

Kuai Liang was probably the first to start dating 

Does he have responsibilities? Yes. But that wouldn't stop him from experiencing certain things, even if he had to do it sneakily. 

He was a young teenager when he finally got his first girlfriend. She was apart of a nearby clan and although he was told many times not to focus on women, he couldn't help it. 

It was a simple friendship but it turned into something more. A secret relationship no one could know about

I think Kuai Liang would be happy to finally have a girlfriend. It's something else in his life that gives him happiness besides his family. 

Also this is a teenager so he's geeked as fuck. He tries to appear all calm and cool but it wouldn't really work 

Would always try to sneak away to see her. He wants to spend as much time with her as he can. Half of it is because he's a teenager, half of it is because he genuinely likes her. 

I also think he likes exchanging gifts. It gave them both something to remember the other bye

As a young boy, he wants to tell everyone but because of circumstances, he can’t. Besides that though I just honestly think he’s happy waking up everyday knowing he’ll see her even if it’s only for a few minutes.

She was a break for him. He's always the mediator between Bi-Han and Tomas. He always had to train hard so he could assist Bi-Han when he became grandmaster. When he was with her he was relaxed. 

Enjoys the company that comes with having a partner, even if a lot of the times he's too busy to see her 

He knows he doesn’t know much about relationships, but that’s ok. Life’s a journey and he’s willing to learn and communicate for this girl

Considering it says “first relationship”, that means it doesn't last 

I think the reason would be they eventually get caught. His dad has a tighter leash on him and she's sent to a different area her clan occupies 

He wouldn't take this well but there's really nothing he can do

Takes him awhile to get over even if it was some silly teenage romance according to others. 

Tomas Vrbada

Tomas gets into his first relationship in his late teens to early twenties

I can see him telling Kuai Liang immediately and asking for advice 

I can see it being a friends to lovers kind of thing. She's an earthrealmer in the know about all the realms and stuff and knows Madam Bo. Tomas is easy to like so they become friends then he asks her out on accident 

Tomas, like Kuai Liang, would be happy to have a significant other. He'd like having a girlfriend because this is his person. He became a Lin Kuei because the grandmaster felt shame about his clan murdering Tomas’ family. To Tomas, that's not him actually wanting him. It's guilt 

Having a girlfriend though means she's with him because she loves him. She actually likes him and chose him.

Very proud boyfriend. He’s surprised he has someone to call his and thinks she’s everything 

He's younger so he's not really confident which I think would show. He constantly wants to be around her out of insecurity. He's worried that she'd leave and find someone else 

He thinks he’s not good enough for anything

Can we blame him? He has Bi-Han constantly making him feel shitty. Sure he’s not the only reason Tomas is insecure but he’s not helping

He's also paranoid about anyone else he loves being hurt. People get hurt, he understands that but he cannot say goodbye to someone else prematurely. Especially someone that makes him so happy

Since it's his first relationship, he doesn't know how to properly communicate these feelings 

He genuinely likes this person and wants to be something serious. The problem is all this hovering and worry could cause problems in the relationship and lead to it ending. 

His solution would be trying to change himself 

Letting go is not something he wants to do. This person makes him happy so why should he? He could definitely change and do better. 

And since this is his first relationship, he’s nervous something like this won’t happen again. 

Unfortunately for him you can’t get rid of insecurities easily and you have to love yourself before loving anyone else

You'd expect him to have the longest lasting relationship but he probably wouldn't. The relationship wouldn't end with harsh feelings but he'd still be upset by it and it'd encourage him to work on himself 

I promise you Kuai Liang is my favorite brother. Idk how Bi-Han got around 440 words and him and Tomas got around 380- I also plan on writing angst after I eventually go to sleep so tune in

[beadyeyes]

Alien Romulus review so spoilers because I'm so so disappointed after being told by every one how good it was and how great the effects were (you all lied to me) so so so long so so so so I don't know if it's worth reading

👍 Loved that they kept up the tradition of killing the people who smoke on screen first

👍 Technology design choices were so fun and did what Prometheus failed to do as a PREQUEL. Also failed to do what the movie itself should've done as a SEQUEL and kept notably similar design choices BUT STILL ADVANCE THE TECHNOLOGY?

👎 They made a group of people so unlikable or undeveloped that I didn't care if they lived or died.

👎 The cousins blatant bigotry against Andy came off mostly as racist AND ableist with no good reason whatsoever. Especially since it clearly wasn't justified by his mother's death because the synthetic in question that "caused her death" was justified in saving more lives over the few. His choice to leave his own family behind despite being so torn up about his mom too? And finally his weird breathing and hovering scene with the pregnant sister right after his girlfriend died was lowkey creepy and I hope it wasn't trying to imply he was the one who got her pregnant? Bottom line he deserved it and his death was the only entertaining one. Was that supposed to be on purpose?

👎 The boyfriend was a bland unlikeable character who failed to even be good enough for meat fodder + deserved to die for wasting screen time AND for letting his cousin be a racist dick to Andy despite them needing the for the whole fucking trip to happen. Worthless character.

👎 First facehugger impregnation being a woman. What a spit in the face.

👎 The fact that it was also a woman I didn't even know the name of! But had 1 more second of development than the rest and seemed like she could've been a cool character if the screen time wasn't logged by unlikeable men. Her alien birth scene was so tone deaf to the original horror of the series idk. I get not wanting to repeat the same thing but the worthless guys survived those facehuggers too easily for her to be the gratuitous birth fodder.

👎 Pregnant sister. I don't know how that could've been done differently but yea. Her boob slime was so. 🙄

👎 Her alien wannabe engineer baby thing sucked. It was so corny I laughed outloud I don't know how it could've been done better but making the aliens more humanoid but not in an uncanny way, like a weird trying too hard to be scary way, felt like a disservice to the viewers intelligence? The fact that it was a full sized thing in like 3 seconds too? No offense but wouldn't it be scarier to fight something small and newborn baby like instead of Grown Ass White Man #72

👎 Rooks facetracking shit was so gagworthy and bringing him back wasn't the tribute to the og movie like they wanted it to be. Remember how the big bang theory would make references by just naming randome nerd shit in succession? That's what he was. Just because you have a character come back doesn't mean it fits the theme of the movie you're developing.

👎 Rook's non-ambiguous characterization as evil. Just lame and defeats the complexity of the original character as well as how the synthetics have been developed.

👎 Her name is Rain and that's my name she wishes she was me so bad.

Rain was just so? Such an underdeveloped character who kicked ass and I appreciated her like? Waiting till Andy had seizure to help him out? I don't know. She just had no backstory or substance and Andy's whole character being there to protect her was fucking lame. Seeing her change that at the last bit was like yay development but then Andy gets killed so then it was just whatever.

Andy's character again, being there to protect Rain and not develop on his own. His disabilities being "cured" for most of the movie. Why the accent? Anyways I'm glad he was there because he was the shining star of the whole thing and even that felt a bit too on the nose as if they knew every one else was worthless.

The movie had a few jumpscares and the gore was nothing compared to ANY of the previous movies. Ultimately I felt nothing for the entire hour and half except for when the cousin got slimed, which I laughed. The mix of CGI was strange. 1 out of 10 as fuck! Do you think they're gonna make a sequel?

[nevereverthem]

Gotham : Season 1 Episode 2 - Selina Kyle

Okay... Two weeks later I'm finally watching the second episode... I'm NERVOUS guys!! The more I learn about that show, the more I'm growing unhinged over the characters and the plots like AH!!

Breathe, breathe... Aaaaahhhh. Let's go.

OH MY GOD!!

The little montage of the previous episode!! So cool!! And it starts with Oswald's voice, which is a plus. 🙄 Yeah, I know. 🙄

Bruce, in the living room, in the dark, and a candle. Way to be dramatic...

What is he... WHAT!? You're tryna see how long you can hold your hand over a flame before it's too much or before you burn and die, you stupid!? Jim told you to "be strong", not to turn into the Human Torch!! That's the story of his life, boy hesitated between two superheroes. 🤣

Alfred coming in though. x) Bruce immediately getting up and moving away from the candle like he's been caught masturbating. 🤣 Yeah sorry I thought about that. 😭🙃

"blabla my bloody ass..." I can't help with how Alfred talks. I LOVE it. 🤣🤣 It's just... I thought the rich family and butler thingy would mean incredible politeness... NOPE! x)

Bruce, hand behind his back. Bro, you're not subtle!! You could have just nonchalantly put both your hands down like nothing happened. People don't ask if there's no clue. x)

A "terrible liar". No shit! x)

"Come on, show me." Aaww, Alfred tryna be soft. 🥹

OMG!! How Alfred got angry so FAST!! Man's also emotionally struggling... Bruce lost both his parents and now he's doing things like this, hurting himself... Alfred doesn't want to lose him too... 🥲

When I see the skyscrapers of Gotham... It looks like it's gonna be a fancy party or whatever... and you're in a dark alley in the streets with Selina. Not complaining though. 😌

Oh! A necklace... 🤔

The homeless whatever program... Sounds suspicious! 🤨

Selina being called "Cat"! Of COURSE!

WHAT!? What are they being jabbed with, damn it!? And the dude just shot the older guy left!? What on heart!? Run Selina, RUN!!

"Oh, fudge!" Like, we drug/kill people, but we don't curse. That's called manners. 🤣😭

The guy thrown through a window, dear GOD! Enjoy your dinner. 🙃🥲

Jim's face when he discovers the homeless guy that's been shot...

The military plate. 😱 That hits hard for Jim. Like it's become personal, you know.

Selina, watching... I mean it's her episode! And, she's got a thing for stalking, watching.

Harvey with the coffee "I bought you one but I dropped it." Just shut up! 🙃

The officer assumes that the "homeless junkie" jumped through a window!? Man!! I hate those assumptions!! Someone threw him, you dick! These cliché!

"You're not a bad guy, you're just a bad cop!" Jim got up to drop bombs!! 💥😱

Jim starting a fight with the other cop damn. X)

Harvey dropping HIS coffee is KARMA!! 🤣🤣

At the GCPD,

You see, the guy's not high!! He was assaulted!!

[I'm 5 minutes in and I've already written that much so you either bear with me or just go read something else. 'Cause it's gonna be a long ride!]

"Nobody gives a crap about us!!" So true...

"We're grown ups. We're smarter than you." STOP YOUR BULLSHIT!! You piss me off Harvey!! Am I gonna like him at some point or not? 'Cause your age doesn't determine your intelligence!

Harvey says that he's gonna "beat the truth out of him"!? What is that??

WHAT!? Harvey is such a damn hypocrite!! Jim tells him that he can't beat a 16 year-old down, so Harvey brings up the "not long since you put a man in the river". You're an ASS!! (and Jim did not do it 🙄)

Jim is a "pain in the arse" because he wants to do his job correctly!? Okay, right!! Tell me Harvey's gonna get better. 😭

OMG Jim pushing Harvey away! The reaction of the 16yo guy! x)

An officer, "Hey, watch the shoes, clown!" and Harvey just punches him!? I... Are the cops in Gotham all... yeah yeah, it's the city... 🥲 Harvey needs to sleep RIGHT NOW! "Shift's over." Damn right. 😅

Aaaaahhhhhh!! That's the scene!! Oswald tryna stop a car!! I'm already screaming!!

The WALK!! My little disabled baby. 🥹🐧 (I'm allowed, I'm disabled too)

The guys stopping, then moving, then stopping, then moving again... You can already see the shift on Oswald's face...

The song they listen to is nice though. Don't know what it is but appreciate.

Dick! Spraying Oswald in his face! Bro. Just hand him deodorant idk.

I have a thing for the way Oswald talks. Complete sentences with specific chosen words... The sound of his voice... Melting! 🫠🫠

A beer? Oswald drinking a beer is so odd to me. That goes with the "frat boys-ish" cliché then. Rure dicks who drink at any time. ~ I suppose.

"What the hell happened to you anyhow?" -> "It was my own fault. Foolish arrogance lead me astray." You see what I'm talking about!? 😍🫠 Or is it just me who lacks english skills? 🤔

"I'll be back." (I had to. x))

All it took was for the guy to tell him that when he walks he looks like a "penguin" and that was it! The shift bro!! How he stabbed the guy with the broken bottle. Damn it! I already knew about that scene but in context it's WOW!! Plus, the fact that he was already called "penguin" before he got his leg injured... And now the way he walks because of it adds to the nickname... Dude's had ENOUGH!! Then again, these guys were dicks, but I don't condone their execution dude! 😅🙃

💥 INTRO TITLE 💥

I mean, right after that scene is such a good choice!

"I thought you were with the program." The fact that their chief is in all this is AH. And the... "It's not like I can order you to break the law but... This is Gotham." 🤣😭 That city's cursed my boy!

AAAAHHHH!! Edward peeking through the glass door!! I'm hyperventilating again!!

He's always so giddy with excitement, it's so refreshing! Yeah, I know how it turns out... But let me appreciate just sheer enthusiasm. 😌

Btw, Harvey looks so done, while Jim is intrigued. x)

The "old Arkham Asylum". Here, we're talking about the real things, damn it!!

"Thank you, Ed." And he stays there... Of course, who decided that 'thank you' would also mean 'now you shall leave'? 🙄 Neurotypicals... 🙄

Arkham's been close for 15 years!? 😱 Suspicious again? Not so closed I guess...

Harvey asking if Fish Mooney is still mad at them... 🤣🤣 Wanna bet?

The band playing at her club is 🔥🔥.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Imma melt every time I hear french. 🫠🫠

Falcone!! Btw, how Butch immediately saw the change on Fish's face and got up! That's his job I know, but he genuinely looked concerned.

The face of the waiter though. His smile! Is he onto something or does his job amuse him that much? Like, "serving the Mob, how exciting!" x)

"Men who are about to die are very honest. It pays to listen to them." Lmao, me instantly thinking of Oswald in the previous episode. Btw, is Falcone always gonna drop these quotes? I'm all for it!

The Waynes and Falcone were sort of linked!? Oh crap. The two balanced each other... Huh, interesting. 🤔

Oh, the Maroni family...

"I never lose sleep over my enemies. It's my friends that keep me awake." SEE!? 😱😱 The man is dropping insane quotes each time he speaks!!

How Oswald metaphorically spat on Fish when he talked to Falcone. Dude tried to save his ass all the ways he could. x) 🥲

FISH!! Why ya lying? Why ya fucking lying? Blabla "deep love" blabla "respect" blabla "like a father"... Falcone's not buying it. He surely isn't that stupid.

Fish about her love life. 💔

Oooohhh that's why the waiter had that smile. 🤣🤣 He sleeps with Fish, right, right.

What!? WHAT!? The man gets beaten up in the middle of the club... I...

"Thank you for being honest with me. It means a lot to me. It shows wisdom and humility." -> Translation : "If you betray me, you'll end up like that guy (and/or) I'll break everything you love."

Aaww Oswald's picture. He looks so innocent. (He's not x))

Gertrud!! Renee and Crispus though.

"A woman!? You're sure?" Hum.... NOPE. x)

"GCPD?" "Like that, but honest." I can't argue with that. 😅🙃

Butch, I like the blue tie. ☺️

Fish swearing she's gonna kill Falcone some day soon. Damn! I know he dies, but is it her doing? 🤔

"I just wish that Penguin was still alive." OMG 🤣🤣🤣🤣 "I didn't make that little punk suffer near badly enough." Well... Disabled for life is enough in my knowing opinion... 😅

OMG Oswald 🤣🤣 driving the car of the guys who took him hitchhiking and that he killed. 🙄

Where did he put the bodies though? 🤔

Oswald renting a van? "I'm not fussy." Hum, liar. But in your current state it's clearly enough. 🙃

The bodies are in trash bags? Man! Where did he get the bags though? 🤔

Btw, Oswald drives with his bad leg!! Doesn't that hurt?

OMG, the kidnapped kids waking up! 😱

Aaaaahhhh Harvey walking in, all heart-eyed for Fish, internally asking for mercy. 🤣

Jim still doesn't buy their bullshit and I appreciate it SO MUCH!!

"Guess you misjudged me." Nope, nope dude. You couldn't kill Penguin. She was right. But they don't know... Yet. 🙃🙄😅😧

"You're just a little sinner like the rest of us." Why does it sounds like she's trying to flirt with him? 😭

Still this "... no one cares to know." That infuriates me!!

Aw, Barbara and Jim. 🥰

"Can't believe the system is so corrupt."

"You have no idea."

"What do you mean?"

OOPS. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Jim's face. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jim, you're a terrible liar!! At least you can't lie to Barbara. She sees right through you!!

OMG how she called the newspaper just like that! AWESOME. 🤣😎

"Don't do it again." - "Yes, boss!"... Jim's breathing just after, like... They had fun I think. 🙄🥰

Gotham at night is always so different damn!

The guy who sells the drug : "I gotta stand up for what is right here."... Dude... You don't care about the children... You're asking for more money to run away and cover your ass...

"The doll maker doesn't tolerate failure..." The implications of his name sounds so creepy. 😭😭😭😭

"You didn't call the Gazette, but did your girl call the Gazette?" Harvey, deduction, on point at least. 👌

"You gotta learn to control your woman." SHUT UP RIGHT THERE YOU- AH!

"Kinda like her the way she is." Aw, green flag again.

Harvey'd talk about women, just... Yeah shut up.

OMG, the "bad guys" put on an act for the detectives, I can't. You know, the woman looks very cliché respectable... but she's not. 🙃

The guy in the corner holding a gun to the man in charge of the 'shop'... OMG x)

Each time I hear "Arkham Asylum" I can't help but think about Jerome... I CAN'T WAIT!! Okay... Calm down... I'm wet... Wait!... What was that? 🙄 (Btw, I know Jerome is like 17 - 18 when he's arrested... but the ACTOR was 21 at the time, so it's okay!! Not being disgusting here, thank you.)

"[...]The Wayne Foundation is planning on reopening the old place again." WHAT!? That was THEIR plan?? Okay, I'm out, I'm out. x)

OMG that was so COOL!! The whole speech and then the hint : "Nobody's safe!" Lights out, shooting! 😱

How Harvey yells "JIM!!" Corrupted cops, arguments, but still a partnership somehow. 😌

The owner erupting from under the table. x)

JIM!! GUN!! And his FACE. The determined gaze!! 🫠🫠

Jim shot the old guy in a snap of a finger!

He fell down the hole... Where does that lead to?

Rescuing these children at least!

OMG The Mayor, plus Harvey, Jim and their boss, plus the children in front of journalists. "[...]We will take care of you as if you were our own children[...]" BULLSHIT!! They are homeless children that you didn't care about before... But now it's on the news so it's important... Ladies and gentlemen, here is the truthful representation of society and politics! 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Oh, my bad, they're taking the kids off of the streets and taking them elsewhere. At least they're doing something... Selina's expression though. That looks like massive arrestation, not a caring program... But hey... Benefit of the doubt. 🤷‍♀️

A toast? Fuck you.

Foster homes for the "cute, undamaged" ones... And "correction facilities" for the others... WHAT ON EARTH!? Benefit of the doubt MY ASS!!

"I see you're using the child snatchers as a pretext to lock up children... without a trial." 💥 JIM! How I LOVE YOU! ❤️ Ain't afraid of no politician! The guy fooled a Mob boss. Ya think he's gonna let a Mayor alone?

"Thank you my friend. Valuable input. Most refreshing." I... I can't deny the Mayor's response is amazing. x) Amazingly infuriating, but on point!

OMG Alfred at the GCPD.

Aaww, Alfred is asking Jim for help concerning little Brucey. 🥹🥹😭😭

"Never had a child before." - "Nor me." x)

"Tea time, should we say." Is Alfred english? The man says "bloody" and talks about "tea time". I swear it's as cliché as that!

Bruce, the desk is so big compared to you. (Height jokes, I'm also very petite, mind you)

Is Bruce listening to METAL!? DUDE!! And those drawings? Man's entering his alternative phase. 🤣🤣 I'm ALL FOR IT! I know his parents were murdered and it's all dark, but let me fantasize.

Selina asking to talk to Jim Gordon!! Girl's been listening. Girl's tryna get a way out of juvi.

Aw, is it her mother in the necklace pendant?

Oh no! Don't let it hang off your pocket! You're gonna lose it. 😭😭

Selina's already went to juvi apparently, got some experience.

OMG!! Actually made me GASP!! The snatchers in the bus!! 😭😭 Selina instantly recognising the lady and the man. 😭😭

The Mayor's angry... Angry he's gonna look bad on the news yes. 🙄

For once, Harvey's right about hitting the drug seller guy!! Jim's standing still, watching. He's got his approval.

"He doesn't like it when I beat people, but for you he has no objection, why is that?" OMG Harvey, EXACTLY!! Jim's breathing gives it away though, can't say he likes it.

"Math. The lives of thirty children versus one scumbag." JIM!! 😮 Please, is he using the word "scumbag" to mimic Harvey? 🙄

"So I can beat you [...] and Saint Jim won't interfere." PLEASE 🤣🤣😭😭

When the man starts giving informations and Harvey wants to beat him again, Jim stops him. Jim stays Jim. 😌

Shipping containers? Really, human merchandise...

Selina hiding on the bus. OBVIOUSLY. Not subtle though. Duck your head, you stupid! 😭

Honestly, she couldn't have hidden efficiently. That's not realistic. The woman should have seen her!

Anyway, got out, hid under the bus. Fair.

The dude's really like "meh, miscounted, we have enough kids anyway." High five! I... Filthy little... AH!

Selina running away... She technically shouldn't have been able to escape... But again, there wouldn't be a story if she hadn't. 🙄

OMG the logo!!

Trident Intercontinental shipping... Really!?

"My eyes. She scratched me!" OMG the payoff!! Selina told the little boy to "go for their eyes" which she did!! AWESOME!!

OMG, she's got fucking CLAWS in place of her nails damn it!! 🩸🩸

Okay... Guy's been shot. RIP. I mean, you were working in children trafficking, so... No RIP. Go to Hell.

Bitch's searching for Selina... When is Jim gonna come to the rescue!? With a bunch of cops I hope...

Just, her ripped skinny jeans and leather jacket... 😌😌

Oh no, the necklace!! BUT, another payoff!! The necklace has been hanging for dear life on the edge of her pocket since she got on the bus!

"You are a very naughty little girl." Ok. 🙃

JIM!! I KNEW IT!! BABYYYYY!! Whack her!

Selina not wanting to say her name. Again. Meh, at least your wish was granted, you got to see Jim Gordon. x)

Harvey's here too, obviously. Is it just the two of them? Seriously!? There is no squad for rescuing a bunch of children!?

Yeay Harvey got the other bastard! At least he did that!

Oh, Wayne's manor! Alfred. Jim. And tea. 😉

Bruce : No sleep. When he does sleep he has nightmares. Burning, cutting himself... Brucey baby no 🥺🥲

No psychiatrist. That's the rule...

Alfred wanting to live up to Bruce's parents expectations for his education. 🥹 "Trust him to choose his own course."

"Sounds like a recipe for disaster." 🤣😭 JIM.

"He wants you to talk some sense into me." Aaaaahhhh Bruce eavesdropping!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Cackling, rolling on the floor. I know it's supposed to be sad, but I can't help it!

Alfred said "bloody" again! I swear! I'm gonna count them! x) 3 in 2 episodes for now.

"Alright, Bruce. Talk to me." - "I'm perfectly fine." Yup. That's the response of someone who's not doing well. I mean look at him. 🥲

"Alfred's a worrywart." Bitch. x)

Aaaaahhhh "Talking to someone can be very helpful." - "You must have seen terrible things in the war. Does it help you to talk about what you saw?" - "Yes, a little." - "You're not a very good liar." BOOM!! That exchange!! That's the second time in the episode that someone tells him that. I can't. x) Patterns guys. Patterns!

"I'm testing myself!" What did I say at the beginning, huh!?

Bruce grabbing a biscuit and sitting on the couch. I love when eating is used as a "fuck you/no thank" device. x)

Alfred standing in the corner. Cutie butler. 🥹

AaaaH Bruce talking about the children, talking about money... and Jim saying that what they need is someone to care for them, like Alfred does for him. Well played Jim, well played!! 😌🥹

"There must be something I can do." Oh. Callback? He couldn't do anything for his parents. Now he wants to do something whenever he can? 🤔😭

Oh, they were given clothes then! Right!

"After all this, you're sending us upstate?" Selina's so right! One more trauma for these children and now juvi. Yeay. 🙃🙃🙃🙃 STUPID!

She's 13? Bruce is 11. Huh!

Oh... Her mother is nowhere to be seen, legally considered dead... Another mystery. 🤔

"Go get him (Gordon), or I'll say you touched me." I... Oh My... Ah! She... Ok... Ah... "James Gordon... I'm gonna scream in about three seconds..." SHE IS AH!

Oswald aaaahhhh!! 😌😌

I was wondering when we were gonna get news from your whereabouts...

Laying on the van's floor... Is he wearing borrowed clothes from the man he rented the van from or... Is it the clothes of the dudes that he killed? Could be possible. I can't.

Baby? Your makeup is smudged.

OMG, Gotham's map!! Falcone. The Mayor ("oink"). Wayne. Harvey. Jim (stooge lmao). Fish (Bitch!) with the bloody knife! x) OMG that's someone who's got a plan! 😱😱

His phone ringing, how he got up though. OMG! He kidnapped the guy who was driving!? How did he... OMG!! Oswald!! Why did you... Ah!

Oh MY GOD!! How the guy's mother thinks it's a trick from her son! Like she isn't even trying! Oswald sent a fucking video and asked for 10,000$. He is even willing to lower the ransom. And the woman still isn't buying it! "Well that's disappointing." 🤣🤣🤣🤣 That's peak morbid comedy! x) "She didn't believe me. You must be quite the scamp." RIGHT, huh? How far must you have gone before, that your parents don't even bat an eye at your kidnapping, thinking it's a joke and not even doubting it a second!?

And, Oswald's smile. PLEASE!

Ah, Selina, here finally comes JIM GORDON. 🎉

"I've been watching you. You're friends with the boy. You're not like the rest of those folks." Jim immediately looking around, judging his own colleagues. Damn right girl! x)

"The boy? Bruce? What do you mean you've been watching me?" X)

I love that she's 13 and already got people around her finger. x)

She knows about Mario Pepper being a patsy. Jim is impressed, confused and worried. 🤣🤣

"Could you get me out?" - "It's possible." Jim bargaining. x)

"I saw who really killed the Waynes. Saw him clear as day."

Aaaahhh that's right! She was right there, hiding! Not to get killed herself! 😱😱 Did she actually saw what he looked like? I mean, Bruce saw him up close... Maybe Selina has other informations... details Bruce didn't notice... 🤔 We'll see...

OMG!!

It took me 4 hours to watch the episode & write down my reactions. I press the pause button so much, rewind too! It is so WORTH the time! 😌

Will we hear about the "doll maker" again? 🤔

Oswald got me thinking... He killed a man for a sandwich. Then killed a man for a car and kidnapped the other for money.

Btw, how did he do that, like... The guy should have had physical dominance, right? Let's say Oswald's got secret abilities!

But please! Does this mean he killed before? Like, the old fisherman wasn't his first? 🤔

Btw, that's some elaborate map/planning board that he's got there. That's so amazing seeing where he is now, and knowing what he's going to become later... That's some climbing the ladder of (criminal) success!

Where did he get all the pictures though? Newspaper, magazines??

Anyway...

Building, building, the second episode and more mysteries... and problems. 🤣🤣

Edward seems so innocent for now, that's... Ah!

Okay stopping now.

If you've read that far, THANK YOU!! 🫶💕

Looking forward to the next episode. 😌😍

[joltai-showa]

ANOTHER three months later, but let's try continuing rereading Naruto (I will never finish this rambling series)

my laptop decided to fucking die again, so I guess no bg3/genshin/hsr for me for now

anyway, where were we with this one?

right, Naruto cut his hand to get the poison out or smth

Hiruzen, why did you give Kakashi these 13 year olds again? I mean, he's gotten better at not killing these kids compared to his own team back in the day, but nonetheless, the exhibit above is an argument against entrusting these Very Important Children to the guy who's biggest dream is a rope and a tree

where the fuck did you learn that Sakura

also who's responsible for sex education in the shinobi world huh

the Academy? but Naruto's a dumbass, most kids leave way earlier.

the jury is still out on whether this world even has other civilian schools (or hidden villages in particular). theoretically they could have been responsible, but this still doesn't cover the main characters in this situation.

the team leaders? now that's a funny image. considering none of them have been actually taught how to teach children (thank you Hiruzen because who needs a proper fucking teacher when they are already a "full-fledged" shinobi who can *gasp* throw a knife at the enemy), I'd love to see how Kakashi, Gai, Asuma and Kurenai would be dealing with that

(my bet is on Kurenai. Gai will have the right spirit, though! Kakashi and Asume are hopeless, though)

I'm probably overthinking this, considering the setting is supposed to be something like early industrial era, and the sex ed could be summirised into "rule one, pull out. rule two, if broke rule one, run. girls, thoughts and prayers🙏don't even bother trying to achieve anything in life beyond your family function, the author of this universe is a raging misogynist🙏"

also not really relevant for Naruto and Sasuke as they shall soon discover the wonders of say gex

the covers for chapters are always so cool

Kakashi why do you look like you are high as a kite

(honestly he does most of the time in Kishimoto's early style)

that's what you mom said to me last night😏😏😏😏LMAO GOTTEM

I'm so sorry Kushina, I didn't mean to🫣it just kind of got out on its own

anyway, it's... an alright bridge? did Naruto never see a bridge in his life? I guess if Hiruzen wasn't mentally impaired before and kept their only fucking jinchuriki in the village, Naruto wouldn't have seen something like that, at least it's not common in Konoha's architecture from what I remember (compared to Kiri and Iwa, at least)

First of all, you guys have engines?

Secondly, right, early Naruto, we aren't at that point when we are fighting some vague bullshit like "tHe SYsteM tHaT cAUseS DEsPAiR" or the human desire for conflict, it's a battle against the scariest enemy of all - capitalism

(I respect a lot of the grind of the major villains in Naruto, but Obito's so lazily written I will never stop taking jabs at him. that's what you get for writing a grown ass man with the worldview of a 12 year old, Kishimoto)

(and yes if you don't know me/have forgotten, I am that unique specimen that loves fanon Obito that actually utilizes the things in his story that could have made him one of the best characters in this series and absolutely fucking hates canon Obito for being the biggest piece of dogshit Kishimoto tried to concot and pass off as a coherent character)

okay ramble over, let's get back to the chapter

in retrospective, Naruto did end up being a downgrade, considering the fact that we went from fighting Jeff fucking Bezos to, like, 10 Ted Kaczynskis

(or is Gato Elon Musk? I think I've seen news that he is now the richiest man in the world. I guess "marine transportation" and "boats with engines" for people in Naruto world would be something alike to "space expeditions" and "spaceships" to us irl. yeah, I guess Team 7 and Zabuza are fighting their Elon Musk huh)

note to self drugs do exist in Naruto. they are also trafficed across borders. considering the location of the events (Land of Waves), does that mean that the region works as fertile grounds for drugs growth? did Blood Mist next door dabble in drug trade?

is Obito addicted to something back from those glorious days of mass murder🤔that would honestly explain a lot of the weird things about Akatsuki - man was high off his mind half of the time

joking, joking, of course

but also a big question as to a) what countries end up under Gato's control, because none of these are mentioned as far as I remember b) how the fuck can this even happen during feudal-but-not-quite system of Naruto world? a capitalist businessman can control a modern government via lobbying and such, but how do you go about daimiyos and such? bribe them? pretty sure they are loaded already, quite a few of them own their little military paratroopers called shinobi, and, presumably, have quite the ego as the rightful rulers of the lands or whatever.

anyway Gato is a mystery, and I'm surprised we don't see Kakuzu sending love poems to the guy. capitalist old men yaoi💘

after a short intro into why Gato is scary and mean and why he wants Tazuna dead this is what Naruto looks like.

the darkest day for Konoha was when Pain attacked. the second darkest day was when they made Naruto Hokage, cuz this dumbass has no idea how politics work and what to do if the power of friendship does not work (it always does, thank you power of the plot)

B-rank is NOT elite🫣wtf

[l-e-i-n-t-h]

Me judging every character in HOTD

I read the book in 2019, and even then I was Team Black and believed many of the things depicted in the book could be propaganda or deformations cause I happen to be a historian and it's not that uncommon. I'm also 39 and no longer believe in pretty privilege. I've been in tumblr for more than 12 years and I've seen rivers of ink (or bits) flow trying to excuse or overanalyze the actions of all sorts of male characters because they happen to be played by beautiful faces. I've done it myself, but I'm too old for it now.

As a good historian I already declared my biases, so here I go with the characters:

Alicent is a bad mother. Her motherhood wasn't desired nor joyful, so it's understadable but it does affect the way her children are. Viserys was also quite neglectful, due to his health and his personal flaws. Alicent's family reeks of generational trauma, and it's not a surprise coming from such a cold and manipulative patriarch as Otto, who didn't even want to hear his daughter's troubles. As I saw in another post, all of Team Green is touch deprived: they need each other's arms but they don't hug each other as they long for.

I don't give a rat's ass about Alicent's sins. Sin away, woman, and enjoy.

I do slut shame Criston Cole cause I enjoy despising him. Being the genuine murderer he is, slut shaming is just a very small fraction of what he deserves. I see him as one of those guys that resent a girl for rejecting them and then go on to commit mass murder, blaming her for it. I'm not in love with him so I don't excuse nothing of him, specially sending ser Arryk to his death so stupidly and hypocritically.

Aegon is a bad king, who enjoys cruelty not at the level Joffrey did, but to a certain point, considering he raped a girl and celebrated his nephew's death with a feast. Another pretty face I'm immune to.

Helaena is a sweet angel. I miss Blood and Cheese tha way it happened on the book, but the result is pretty much the same.

I already talked about Otto, and we all know Larys Strong is a thousand times worst.

Aemond has always been a little psycho. He was bullied by his brother and nephews, but there's something else to a child who almost smashes the head of a boy 4 years younger than him with a rock. His scene in the brothel makes a lot of sense, and the fact that he believes Daemon is afraid of him is just... hilarious.

Speaking of Daemon, that's another pretty face that doesn't move me in the least. He's an asset for his team, probably the best warrior in the entire show, but he's also unpredictable, violent, irascible and not much of a good father or husband. Matt and Emma have chemistry, but their characters' ship doesn't give me feels, only red flags. Daemon is a walking red flag, the only maladjusted person in Team Black right now.

Team Black is family. They do touch each other. The parallel between Alicent being unable to console her child and Rhaenyra interrupting her son's teary eyed report to embrace him is sublime. Rhaenyra enjoys being a mom, loves her children dearly, and expresses it.

Rhaenyra does suffer a lot. In like ten days she loses her father, her daughter, her throne, her son, her trust in her husband, and sees a brave man off himself in front of her. I think that she is well adjusted, or at least as well as you could expect of a Targaryen in the GOT universe. She loves freely, she grieves as she needs and doesn't choke on her tears, trying to keep a facade. She hasn't become cruel yet.

Team Black's council passes the Bechdel test, and I find it so refreshing. Rhaenys and Corlys make for the perfect power couple, and the fact that Alyn and Adam of Hull are grown men gives me hope their conception wasn't a blemish on that marriage, cause in the book it was.

Rhaenys is the second most powerful asset in Team Black and she's just SO GREAT. I enjoy tremendously the way she doesn't walk on egg shells around Daemon.

Ultimately, if you're in doubt, ask yourself which team do the Starks of Winterfell support. That's all you need to know.

Disclaimer: love whatever character you want, and write whatever meta gives you feels and joy. I just think it's funny, when the episode just arrives, the tag is full of kind of what actually happened, but a few days after it, it's full of metas oozing with love for toxic male characters and eternal hate for the writers for doing murder baby wrong. A character doesn't need to be moral to be enjoyable, though I understand the appeal for having both.

Damn I was young and less asexual once, I swear XD

[vampire-lord-garfield]

I KNOW YA'LL DON'T SHIP SEBARD BUT PLS JUST HEAR ME OUT! Imagine servants greeting Ciel and Seb post Compania ark. And Seb is just covered in human bites (weird dolls) and has a massive fuck0you wound in the middle of his torso. Like even in canon he was pretty fucked up by that scythe and i headcanon that his body can't do it's usual demon healing magic on that wound. All energy goes in keeping him alive, so his injuries heal at human speed. So when they finally arrive at the manor who else then a army veteran wound treat his wounds. (You can't tell me Seb would allow human doctor look at his weird otherworldly anatomy, especially when you can see his freaking insides...). Imagine how triggering that would be to Bard. His mind would probably be on autopilot until he was finished. And then flashbacks to both war and his family dying. And like he thought of Sebastian as a "superhuman", a constant. Seeing him injured and in need of HIS help is verging on uncanny valley... (Also he saw this dude literally eat bullets. It would be kinda scary to think what was at sea that would fuck up Seb so badly... With human teeth no less.). --- Seb probably hasn't been so close to his own mortality in a long time so the whole experience doesn't sit right with him either... But even more weird is SOMEONE ELSE worrying ABOUT HIM. I like to think that he would be absolutely shit at comforting someone distressed about his wellbeing. Like his whole experience with that is comforting a bratty 12 years old and dealing with Ciel's nightmares. And here is a grown ass man with PTSD. He is so uniquely unprepared to deal with it. He tries his best, which is absolute worst, until Bard just asks him to shut up. And like he is probably not in a right mind either. He failed, he lost the fight, he got injured and then they basically run. And the whole "possibility of dying thing" is not a concept an immortals creature really thought about. He asks Bard to sleep at his room. Totally for Bard's sake. Not because of the latest events or because most demons don't like sleeping alone. Cause in hell that would just make you an easy target to others.

[piracytheorist]

Episode 35 screaming notes!

So what if I'm emotional over a fictional, fake family spending one day of vacations together?

I love Twilight's comment about how he's glad the SSS is looking out for the bombing threat (and we know it's in vain), but it still puts him on edge to be stared at like this. He trusts them to protect civilian life (and Ostania's pride and joy of a ship) but he doesn't trust trust them, you get what I mean?

We shan't forget. The one thing this man can't pretend to be is someone who is having genuine fun and we'll drag his ass about it and then cry because this is a direct result of his traumatic childhood

Loid blushing when he spots Yor is so precious. I think it might be him blushing half because she saw his dorky skipping and half because… well. He might be falling in love :)

He notices the swelling on Yor's face, but I think he wouldn't even suspect her at this point. He sounded mostly worried about her.

And of course, Anya wasn't plaguing her with questions because she knows all, but it's funny that neither went like "Isn't our super curious five six-year-old going to ask where this bruise and swelling is from?"

SCREAMS

The following montage was absolutely adorable, and the insert song just made it even cuter. I love how it was Anya who lead them to each activity; neither Loid nor Yor had to drag her around anywhere, their attention was on her and on what she wanted. They even explored a cave! She was their priority, she truly must have had an amazing time and this is such a sweet way to end this cruise!

I mean, look. One of the ways Twilight learns how to parent is by fearing 24/7 that his daughter may fall. Very normal things.

Maybe it's because I'm the youngest child, so whenever we were out as a family and I asked to do something my parents would usually decline, because they had two more kids to look after and a place to go, but I have a lot of appreciation for the Forgers going around the resort and stopping to do whatever and anything Anya asked to do.

Very normal man who is definitely not an elite-trained spy trying to fit in. Normal things.

And like. Okay. Yor looking at Anya with such a soft face as Anya is having pure unrestrained fun is one thing.

BUT THEN THEY HIT US WITH THIS???

OH MY GOD. MY GOD. THIS MAN IS IN LOVE AND HE HAS NO FUCKING CLUE.

Like, for real. I can't stop looking at this. It's just his eyes but there's so much longing and yearning in them and also some sadness because deep down he thinks that what he wants is something he'll never get but this is really deep because it'll take him about three to five business years to accept he's grown feelings.

Like. It's not just "growing feelings" anymore. You don't look at someone like THIS when you're just "warming up" to them. He'd grown so accustomed to life with the Forgers that after Yor was away - though in the very same ship as them - for a couple of days he went all yearning looks and doe-y eyes at her when he met with her again. He's in LOVE.

I am so excited to see how their dynamic will develop from now on! It's gone on an entirely new page!

Anyway. I love how Yor went like "Oh they might see the wound on my chest" for the snorkeling but when she saw they could wear wetsuits she went like oh that's okay then and DIDN'T WORRY AT ALL ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE'D GET SALTWATER ON HER WOUNDS. THIS WOMAN EATS HOT COALS FOR BREAKFAST AND WHITE HOT IRONS FOR LUNCH.

I mean, I'm guessing she is a fast healer and her wounds are not openly bleeding anymore but still. Hardcore.

And of course she'd beat the shit out of sharks. It's funny seeing the trio try to come up with excuses now but I think it's going to be a different type of good post-reveal, cause they'll be like "I have nothing to hide" and act on their abilities without a single moment of hesitation. Imagine Yor beating up sharks and Loid and Anya looking at her with heart eyes.

Aw, but look at them snorkeling. It's Yor who is holding Anya. I wonder what Yor's thinking is on that since she thinks that Loid is Anya's biological father and has been longer in her life. I doubt she thinks anything bad about Loid, but it is something that would make someone wonder.

I was so impressed by everything in the episode up until that point that I completely missed what the dialogue there was XD I only had more thoughts after I rewatched it.

Anya is having fun looking at the colourful fish. Yor has hunting in mind. Loid is… not impressed XD

Though very light, this could be a reflection of their characters. Anya is a child full of curiosity for the world, easily impressed by new stuff; she loved the aquarium, and she loved seeing new fish from up close.

Yor's encounters with animals were either for hunting (for food) or with guard dogs from people she was sent to kill. She understands the concept of pet animals, of course, but it seems to be a "secret third option", as tumblr would say. Her first instincts are either hunting or fighting, and since those fish were too small to be any threat (I mean, she's confident about fighting sharks), her mind went to food.

And then you have Loid. His wide knowledge of the world has rendered him almost incapable of getting impressed. There's nothing new for him to learn in anything… except for child rearing, of course. And maybe human connection. And so, he seems to be looking at those two in the last shot.

Just like Gram, Anya gets thrown around by a professional, super strong assassin and she just goes like "Again!" And Loid doesn't even make a comment about Yor pushing Anya too strong. He really took to heart and meant it when he told Yor that her being strong is one of the things that make her an amazing mother.

AND THEN THAT SCENE

I had guessed right, as Yor had indeed not rested at all for the entire three days of the cruise and had a long and intense fight the night before. AND THUS FANSERVICE HAPPENS <3 <3 <3

DON'T MIND IF I DO <3

ENDO KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING <3

No but seriously, there's a lot to love about this moment. Apart from how cute it is, Twilight at first only seems annoyed by how this attracts attention to them. He was already alert from how the SSS was looking at everyone, this would only add to his uneasiness.

But it doesn't take long for him to find an excuse for his wife. Blaming all her exhaustion on her work, being thankful for her going along with everything Anya asked to do, and smiling at her!! Bruh!! And he STILL can't see it, this man is such a good liar he can even lie to himself!!

Seriously the way Eguchi delivered those lines? Superb <3

AND THEN THE FAMILY THEME PLAYED AND I WAS LOSING MY MIND.

They didn't have to go so hard T_T It was a relaxing (and quite prolonged!) chapter to wrap up the cruise arc, but it was wonderful T_T

Even the Handler is up to him, though. Fullmetal Lady won't fall for his emotionally constipated bullshit.

AND I THOUGHT IT COULDN'T GET ANY CUTER!

She even drew the family in their colours! Yor in red, herself in pink, and Loid in a muted green! I can see Yor holding one of her stilettos, but what is the other thing? A rose? I don't think I can tell what Anya is doing in the drawing, but Loid looks like he's holding a bomb? Or a surfboard?

AAAAAHHH It was wonderful!! T_T

The parts with Yor and her coworkers and Yuri and Lieutenant Guy were actually added by the anime! I feel Yor about the gifts. I'm so bad at gifts you have no idea. And Yuri is on another level, he doesn't stop talking about his sister and he tells Lieutenant Guy "Are you psychic or something" and he's like "Sure sure". And this being this kind of show I was like "MAYBE???" but yeah no he was just messing with Yuri XD

Hey psst. You know what will look even more convincing? If you both slept on those pillows 👀👀 next to each other 👀👀

I was cringing so hard at the scene in the school! Anya! We love you as you are, you don't need to go embarrass yourself!

It was interesting, though, to see that Damian stayed out of it all. It's proof that he can mind his business and keep his opinion to himself. I hope he learns to do that more often.

Becky continues being best friend material <3 Anya is so lucky for real

It's been less than a week

It's so funny to me that the anime added the detail that it was Loid who picked the snacks for Yuri. I wonder how quickly Yuri would spit them out upon learning that XD

My mans tired. I felt kinda sad for him ngl XD

Okay, this was hilarious. His paternal instincts are starting to kick in to the point where he imagines teaching Anya the proper methods of deception. It was also funny that as Yuri was imagining his speech, I went like "Uhm you lie to your sister no?" and before I got to finish that thought, the excuses kicked in.

And Anya is starting to learn that actions have consequences.

This isn't what she manipulated two enemies of the state into adopting her for.

TWO EPISODES LEFT T_T I might have to pick up making crack recaps again for however long the next hiatus will last :'D

[willowshimmer]

So I watched Fiona And Cake and I'm hooked...

First episode:

I love how it started with all the colors and how it felt! The voice acting was spot on and it felt surreal with the pastel theme.

"I don't wanna go to work......" Relatable... Especially since my school will start soon...

The way Cake is acting really true actually! Minus the ice... Also when cats ears and nose are cold that means they are healthy! If their hot then that means the cat is sick.

I honestly did not know Fionna's job was a thing....

When I saw Marshall Lee I screamed. I live for his DESIGN! And his personality.

Love Fern's hair. That's all I have to say.

Man Fionna's Boss is short I thought they were a kid.

Love Fionna's reaction from getting fired...And how she technically flipped of her now old boss.

PRINCE GUMBALL or should I say Gary...

Gary's so adorable! I would love to try the cookies he made! They look delicious and sweet and the latté there!

Fuck Gary's boss! He don't deserve to work with that short ass dwarf (No offense to anyone who's short) he deserves better!

When Marshall started singing I was just amazed by the voice acting again! Like such voice is amazing for him!

Oh the poor coffee...

Aw! Marshall likes the cookies! I hope he meets Gary some episode!

I don't trust this version of Lumpy space princess...

I LOVE HUNTER! They are so gentle and nice! I get a bit of gender enby vibes from them.

I LOVED THIS EPISODE!♥️

Below is the next episode review cause this is getting a bit long and cause I explore a few dark topics.

Second Episode:

I missed Simon so much!

I don't like how he's basically a human attraction to the citizens. I just don't feel comfortable with that cause of anxiety and I don't like getting asked questions in general.

I personally think that kid should've just left Simon alone and not talk about his past to HIS ENTIRE FAMILY!

I do think what's interesting about the trauma of Simon is that he's so traumatized from his past as the "Ice King" to the point he can't look at ice without freaking out. It's like soldiers who have been in wars and are so traumatized by loud sounds to the point they just at times attack.

I like Finn's new design! It matches well with now personality.

And I like how TV (One of Jake's kids) is with him.

So wait Jake's DEAD!?

Blindfolded into a forest... What could go wrong?

I really love the forest layout cause of colorful and bright it is! It blends in with the vibe it's going for.

I was at first like "Woah there's blood!" When Jake killed the fish but then it made sense cause Adventure Time came out year's ago and they now they're audience has grown since then so it makes sense.

I would love to hear more stories from before Simon was the Ice King.

"SUCK ON THESE NUTS!" YES!!

More things that I noticed about Simon when he was fighting the bear thing is that he's not a fighter, he's not violent, he's just trying to fit in the best he can but even he can't cause of how people keep reminding him about his past as the Ice King.

I know what Finn did was irresponsible cause he just blindfolded Simon and led him into a forest but let me explain. He's lost Jake. And when Jake dies he was probably and most likely devastated since he lost the only person he was mostly close to a that was like a brother to him. That's his way of coping with stuff! But he doesn't know alot about Simon so he tried to do the one thing that helped HIM! He tried.

I was so HAPPY to see Marceline and Bubblegum again!

I find it very funny that Bubblegum's skin sticks to the tattoo gun.

Love Marceline's new hair cut as well.

I just Simon to be happy with his wife! Is that to much to ask!?😭

Also I think I catched a Steven universe reference when Cake came out Simon's hair.

This episode was heavy and full of emotion to unpack and I think I like that!

I love the series so far and hope more of it soon!

Also I'M BACK!

[jessidogg]

I'm sorry to say this, but your plead to leave Justin alone just perpetuates white male privilege.

1. He criticized Britney Spears, his ex, for her drinking problems when she was a) being forced to perform to be able to see her children, b) forced to get an IUD, c) being financially abused and defamated by her father and ex, and d) recovering from the mental and emotional trauma of being exploited as a child star. This is one of the main reasons he's being so heavily criticized now. It was not only hypocritical, he ended up doing something worse because Britney never drank and drove

2. OF COURSE the cops say he was perfectly polite. He's a rich white man. He had no reason to fear for his life, the cops probably weren't aggressive towards him at all. He also knew he'd be easily bailed out

3. It is EXTREMELY out of touch to attempt to brush what he did under the rug. My uncle was killed by a drunk driver and it left my aunt and cousins devastated and in a really bad way after his death. Drunk drivers have ruined lives for purely selfish reasons. Just because he voiced your favorite animated troll doesn't diminish that

4. He's a grown ass man. He doesn't need you coming to his aid. People are allowed to be mad at him for his reckless and careless behavior. All your PSA does is try to guilt people to stop criticizing him. That's shitty

Hello! I have read all three of your asks and I totally understand where you're coming from! I'm so sorry that your uncle was killed, that is really depressing and sad and I'm praying for your family still💕

One, I'd like to say that no, JT does not need me to come to his aid. I'm VOLUNTEERING to bc I like him. I don't need his permission to tell people to forgive him, that's stupid. It's totally alright to stand up for people, just bc he is an adult does not mean that I cannot stand up for someone.

Two, you are so right! Driving while drunk is a stupid thing to do, and like I said, I am very frustrated he did such a thing. Justin has done tons of things he regrets from his drinking problems, and I wish he would just stop. But addictions are hard to stop (I totally understand that bc I have been thru multiple myself) but I wish he would just try a bit harder.

But I am not brushing what he did "under the rug". I'm sure that I won't persuade you, and that's fine, but I was only saying that we shouldn't take advantage of this to hate him even more.

I am sick of people going "haha, he's a loser" as if just because he is a celebrity that gives him more reason not to sin. I am saying that him driving drunk is just as bad as anyone else driving drunk, and that being drunk in general is terrible but that also shouldn't be the reason we hate him.

Justin Timberlake would never hurt someone on purpose. We all know that. The fact that he could have hurt someone is terrifying, but it's reality and I realize that. The point is, he made a mistake, and mistake does not mean an "oopsie" in this case, it means a "he knew what he was doing and it was a terrible idea".

In my other post I did not phrase it very well, and I'm sorry about that. What I meant was, Justin did something wrong. I am a strong Christian, and I believe that every sin is just as bad as any other. The difference is, some can cause way worse consequences. Driving while drunk is way more dangerous than maybe lying to your parents. But my God tells me that one is not worse than the other.

Even for those not being a Christian, I think everyone should know that there should not be worse sins, and "okay" ones. Everyone deserves a chance. You should forgive everyone 70 times 7. Then do it all over again.

If a liar told a nasty lie about you and didn't apologize and kept going, but a murderer turned himself in and repented and stopped, would you still say the murderer is the worst person?

The fact that Justin won't try harder annoys me. But we should never put even more hate on him just because he's well-known. He is a human. He is just as bad at stuff as other people are.

Also, Justin Timberlake is a nice guy. The fact that he knew he was going to get released wasn't why he was nice, and being white and rich should have NOTHING to do with what the police say (I find it extremely weird for u to use that description). Justin has been known for being a sweet kind guy and he loves his fans, friends, and family. He has been seen in the middle of a concert stopping everything to make sure a fan who seemed in need of help was alright by ordering security over and asking if they're good. He does tons of stuff around his town just to help out. DudePerfect, one of the most popular trick shot YouTubers, are strong Christians and said that one of their favorite memories was playing golf with Justin Timberlake. There would be no reason for them to lie about that.

Justin should not have criticized Britney Spears about that. That is very confusing why he would, and maybe he was just trying to get her not to go the direction he did a few times, but idk, it is just really stupid. But again, humans in general are stupid. I bet u can name a bazillion times u criticized someone about doing something that you have done or ended up doing yourself.

NOT HIDING IT UNDER THE RUG OR SAYING IT'S RIGHT BECAUSE IT'S NOT, JUST SAYING THAT WE ALL DO THAT KIND OF STUFF

Gosh, I know I'm probably no getting my point across, here lemme try to say this in an easier way. Erm... Justin Timberlake is human. Humans sin. Okay. Sinning is not good at all. We all do it, however, intentionally, from lying to murdering. Big or small consequences can come from any of them. DWI is terrible. I hate when I hear about anyone doing that. You have a right to be angry, I am angry at Justin. But I hate how the already Justin haters are taking advantage of every thing he does and making him seem worse than he is. You can hate him, whatever, but you can't stand beside him everywhere he goes, paper and pen, and mark down his every sin, calling him "even worse than before" with every count. Being drunk is bad!!! Driving while drunk is bad!!! But we should feel sorry for him that he doesn't seem to be able to find an outlet in something else. And we shouldn't hold up his every action, dangerous or not, against him. If we all counted everyone's sins, we would all add up to the same amount of terrible that Justin Timberlake is. We are all dumb humans. We shouldn't hold up everything against each other. We don't know the whole story of anything. All we know is that he was driving drunk. He was probably stressed, trying to have a good time, other stuff. This doesn't make it right. But it should cause us to be more cautious about the situation. Most of the people who bully have things going on at home that is causing them to let out their anger on others. Not saying that's right, but we shouldn't call them "bad people" and basically say "he did this so we're more better than them." That may not be how you think of it, but it's what you're saying.

I really hope I am not making people feel guilty, that is the last thing I want. I just want people to understand my view. If I made anyone feel guilty or it seemed that way, I apologize, that's not how I meant it at all. I just didn't agree with stuff, and I wanted to say what I thought, just how you just sent me what you thought.

Hope I said this right. I may not have because I am bad at explaining things through type. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I love you all and mean nothing rude. 💕💕❤❤💕💕❤❤💕💕

-Jessi

[kennyomegasweave]

Drunk as hell and finally watched 101 of Dangerous Romance.

I enjoyed this episode so much. I am so excited to see where this show goes. So excited. I had such a good time with this episode. Here are my real time thoughts.

I'm out here googling Thai baht to USD to try to make sense of these numbers and I'm Big Mad for Thailand.

They really said he lives with his elderly brother in the description online and that’s Papang. I'm furious. He's barely 30. 

I’m sorry what are these debts and why does a high schooler have to be concerned about them? Is it his brother's debts or their parents who may not be here?

Oh Perth has shown up being musty.

Aww, Auto's mom is like no you gotta make sure your friend eats. I already love her.

I'm sorry but these fuckass shorts are upsetting me. Perth is out here being menacing and hot but in fuckass shorts and I can't focus. I do know I already hate him and his friends though. 

Marc's character is already My Boy cause he is ready to fight and I love that.

HE IS NOT GONNA TAKE HIS $300 CONCERT TICKET OH I WANT HIM DEAD I WANT HIS FAMILY DEAD I WANT HIS HOME BURNED TO THE GROUND

I want you to know the gasp I just let out at them setting the ticket on fire was loud and dramatic and I MEANT IT. I also meant what I said when I said I want these boys to die, I want their families dead, and I want their homes burned to the ground. 

OH WE ARE LEGIT ONLY 15 MINUTES IN AND HAVE A FUCKASS TEACHER TOO. OH BITCH. OUT HERE CALLING A KID TO SNITCH. OUT HERE SNITCHING AND REPORTING TO A FUCKING TEENAGER. WHAT A WEAK ASS BITCH. 

Sailom, back up everything in the cloud next time. Because this fuck ass grown man is out here being a high schooler's bitch like that isn't the most pathetic thing ever.

Sailom is sassy and I love him. "Wanna be my heroine?" Yes baby. Call him out. Play Boys Like Girls Hero/Heroine.

Perth really is like KNEEL BEFORE ME like he's out of character Loki in The Avengers. That didn't go well for that Loki either sooo.

Are these dudes seriously watching her through the window? That's nasty as hell. My god. Also Perth you aren't needed either. I don't even know your relationship to her but leave her alone. Stop it. Leave her alone. Get a job.

You're trying to mack on a girl but also worrying about Sailom? You're so fucking gay and you don't even know.

WHAT DID THE CUNT TRIO DO TO MY BOY. WHY ARE THEY ALL LOOKING AT HIM LIKE HE DID SOMETHING.

Auto saying throwing water on him from above is a Japanese drama move. I saw them dump slushee on Kiyoi and Hira whooped ass so obviously I want Marc to kill them all.

HE SAID DO IT OPENLY NOT BEHIND OUR BACKS LIKE A BITCH. OH MY GOD. THIS IS MY BABY. HE IS MY SON. I NEED TO KNOW HIS CHARACTER'S NAME.

Not Perth's bitch ass friend being like if my hands weren't full I would have whooped them. Bitch there was a table right there, put your plate down if you bad.

Oh. This young man is just. I want him to get hit with a bat. I know I'm gonna love him (I never hated a man like I hated Ritsu at first and then I loved him in the end) but I want him to get his kneecaps taken out. SLEWFOOT THE BITCH. 

YES SAILOM PUTTING THE CARD BACK IN THE BITCH'S POCKET. I just said YES QUEEN ICONIC. IICONIC. outloud in my kitchen while drunk at 1:45AM. YES.

I don't even trust him with his grandma cause he's such a shit. He's like "oh where's dad?" Your dad probably don't wanna be near you cause you suck. Play Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood. 

Oh. His dad actually seems good? But I don't know if this is a cultural thing I'm not getting? Like his dad seems good to me cause he's like you don't want politics, just have fun and be a kid. But culturally is this his dad being like YOU A WEAK BITCH THAT CAN'T COMPARE. Because Perth seemed to be real upset about this. And grandma didn't look super happy.

This girl said "are you telling me to beat my dog I clearly love?" Because, once again, he's BOMBING with this girl and doesn't even seem to realize. lol

Auto risked getting fucked up hardcore to warn Sailom and he still showed up to save him. Oh these are my new favorite besties. 

DID THEY LOCK UP THE ANGRY ONE??? Of course they did. He would kill all of them. He just needs a gun. Someone give him a gun.

Did he really call this boy in front of a huge crowd and say take your shirt off and kneel at my feet. If you don't, I'm gonna take your shorts off too. Dude, this is something I feel like you gotta work out in therapy. This doesn't need a crowd.

He really is like WOW AUTO REALLY CARES FOR SAILOM THATS GAY. First, he clearly doesn't have friends at all. Second, my dude really needs to examine his own homoeroticism cause my god.

YES GOD AT SAILMON JUST KISSING PERTH INSTEAD. I have spent this whole episode in AWE of her queen shit.

I can’t wait to watch the next episode when I’m less drunk possibly. lol

[badpersonboogie]

🦄 actually more dogverse cause I am my own biggest audience and if I don't write it down I'll forget cause my memory is actual ass

Sky one thousand percent knows that viktor is fucking his dog. she's walked in on viktor hanging off jayces knot in a puddle of his own squirt so many times its weird when she sees him with his pants up. whatever, she's seen weirder in the undercity, and they do seem genuinely in love. and viktors older daughter is very pretty, and sweet... he's a decent boss, and jayce is a good boy. she'll leave it at that.

heimerdinger doesn't want to think viktor is having sex with his dog. sure, viktor always smells very strongly of jayce and... semen. but that doesn't have to mean it's his. and viktor is a charming, intelligent young man! surely he wouldn't? a man such as him must simply have his fair share of bedfellows! ignoring the fact that jayce rarely allows men close to viktor in public, let alone the bedroom... and the rumors that viktor never addressess... No, heimerdinger could never assume something so crass and cruel of his own employee. he'll leave it at that.

the mage isn't sure how to feel about viktor fucking his dog. on one hand, he's healthy, not starting an evolution fueled apocalypse, and genuinely happy with his jayce. on the other hand, a dog? really? with the slobbery tongue, and the warm soft fur, the hefty cock, the juicy knot, the spill of cum deep inside... he shakes his head. perhaps this wasn't a terrible outcome, all things considered. perhaps he could give them a gift, a wedding present, he supposed. and if jayce will live well beyond any dogs years, until he and his mate pass together in their sleep? that's not the mages business. he'll leave it at that.

councilor Mel medarda was disgusted by viktor fucking his dog. and confused. viktor was a soft-spoken but strong-willed man, one who would have been a great investment to her. if it wasn't for the dog fucking. she'd even heard him whisper to it, call it his beloved husband. once, in her youth, she had seen a punishment for treason. the person had been stripped, doused with the urine of a bitch in heat, and thrown to a pet wolf to be raped. the way they had screamed and begged to be killed as their holes tore under the strain of the knot had haunted her dreams. and viktor willingly submitted to this? he was clearly insane, and if his 'marriage' was ever made public, he'd have no ties to house medarda. she'll leave it at that.

viktor was having a great time fucking his dog, thank you very much. he tried to keep it at home, but admittedly, having his husband in the lab with him was sometimes too much for their libido. he made a note to send poor ms young a gift basket after she'd caught them going at it on the floor. again. but today was a lazy day for him, his tail prosthetic attached and wagging his happiness for his family to see. his darling had woken him up with his tongue buried in his folds and hed been happy to return the favor, licking the taste of his own slick off of jayces cock. his daughters were running circles around the kitchen, eager for breakfast and he chuckled. his sweet girls, he almost missed bottle feeding them, their soft mouths tugging at his breasts afterwards, comforting all three of them. soon they would be grown, and he had plans for them to train as service dogs, to give back some of what had helped him so greatly. maybe theyd even make beautiful brides someday.

his mind floated to the book of magic runes he'd uncovered on an excursion to zaun. there had been a spell, technically intended for breeding livestock, but perhaps viktor could put it to other uses later? but right now, he needed to make breakfast. and he'll leave it at that.

(Also, viktor definitely decides to consider himself an especially intelligent dog, rather than just a man. when he's at home, he crawls on all fours, naked save for his collar and braces, tail attached, ready to present for his husband anytime one of them needs it. he eats his meals out of a bowl on the floor like the other dogs, he barks and pants and howls like them. when he uses magic to get pregnant, he also changes his body to nurse them properly this time. dehumanizing himself for love <3 instead of a robot, this viktor gets to be an animal and get all the unconditional love an animal can give. His oldest daughter becomes a seeing eye dog, and lives a normal life. his second oldest starts dating sky and they get married <3 he offers her the same spell and they end up having litters at the same time, and they co-raise the puppies/grandpuppies.)

<3