#but hey. thats show biz baby

[fandanglefrogfarts]

While having to move back in with parents as an adult ( for me due to medical reasons) sucks, the cool thing is " my mom said no" is once again a valid excuse.

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 13

post directory

em: if anyone asked id deny it but secretly i think dani teasing jamie abt viola is The Funniest thing

[em note: this is what we in the biz call ‘dramatic irony’]

em: jamie not only did u sleep w two trust fund babies they’re Sisters and it was a weird rivalry thing

obsetress: jamie for someone who hates vi so much you sure were happy to be a pawn in her weird psychosexual power play

obsetress: "didn't say i was happy" "oh, you didn't need to. vi told me "

em: PSYCHOSEXUAL POWER PLAY

em: thinking abt 5’8 kinda buff viola featuring scrawny mf 5’3 jamie taylor no reason

obsetress: no reason

em: not thinking abt viola being able to easily lift jamie

em: no reason

obsetress: oh

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: oh no

em: clenches fist no reason

em: jamie couldn’t top her even if she tried violas like haha that’s cute (yoink)

obsetress: right before you said that i was thinking about like

obsetress: jamie hooking up with perdita pillow princess then jamie hooking up with tops the shit out of her viola and like

obsetress: the duality of willoughbae

obsetress: and now im like. yeah

em: jamies in for a Surprise

em: first she’s like oh thank god i’m not gonna do all the work- and then the monkey paw curls inwards

obsetress: just like um

obsetress: thinking

obsetress: jamie straddling vi on the bed n then vi just way too easily flips them and pins jamie's hands above her head

em: oh

em: thinking thoughts

em: jamie's dumb little surprised face

em: she’s into it tho

obsetress: like full surprised pikachu and then slow grin

em: jamie's dumb ass starts to say something like ‘oh haha i figured since-‘ and then she cuts herself off bc she’s like no actually i should not mention perdi right now

em: viola fills in the blanks w whatever feeds her ego the most tbh

obsetress: god yeah

obsetress: jamie's just like

obsetress: we've talked about this she's fuckin chatty and she's just like running her fucking mouth and then vi's head is between her legs and she's like "o��– oh" and then she shuts up

em: danis like so um you never. suspected anything? like you didn’t think the timing was weird? and jamie's like we have been over my self worth issues i was jsut happy to

obsetress: dani, chinhands: so which one was better

obsetress: jamie gives her a withering look

"you know which one was better"

"maybe. but i wanna hear you say it"

em: jamie: you cannot repeat this to her she’s already insufferable about (insert funny gaffe here)

em: jamie knows dani is going to repeat it

obsetress: dani knows jamie knows and still smiles sweetly and says she won't anyway

em: i love these idiots hannah

obsetress: the next time they see vi she is. SO smug

obsetress: em i love them so much

em: kinda weird to be so invested in ur sisters sexual prowess vi

em: it’s about the principle of the thing sweet jamie

obsetress: dani is just smug because she wasn't even a player and still ended up winning the weird psychosexual rivalry

obsetress: jamie: actually, uh

jamie: don't you all think i'm the real wi––

dani and vi and perdi: no

em: she is in my heart,

obsetress: dani, kissing her into the mattress later: i think you are jamie: no, you think you are dani: mm

em: jamie and vi and dani and rebecca and even perdi goddamn perdi we are gonna get you so laid

obsetress: lmao rebecca just in the corner with a drink like what did i ever do to deserve this

obsetress: perdi showing up to vi's christmas brunch w the five of them and being like

obsetress: "good news everyone. i met someone"

obsetress: and vi's sickly sweet condescending like "oh, what's their name?" and rebecca's already shooting her a look

obsetress: and perdi's like "pet––" and rebecca's like actually you know what absolutely the FUCK not

em: thinking about perdi bringing violas EX HUSBAND to christmas for the drama of it all

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i think both of these things can happen

em: perdi almost goes after eddie for yet another deranged power play but dani just grabs her arm and says ‘you absolutely fucking will not’

em: leave that dumb gay boy out of it

obsetress: god and like of COURSE dani's the only one she actually listens to bc again

obsetress: terrified

obsetress: the dubm adagyagladsjkf aldsjf kbyoh

em: Terrified

em: rebeccas like ‘wow i didn’t realise dani could be that intense’ and jamie just sighs dreamily into her egg nog

obsetress: rebecca's pausing, Realizing

obsetress: turns to look slowly at vi

obsetress: cocks her head

obsetress: raises an eyebrow

em: jamies like oh don’t worry ur plenty intense becs

em: because she thinks that’s what becs is concerned abt

obsetress: wow

obsetress: anyway i'm about to pivot

obsetress: tahirah posted some insta story of some zipline place and it just made me think about exes au group vacations

em: omg

em: the Chaos

obsetress: dani and jamie just wanna like. chill

obsetress: meanwhile vi and rebecca are up at six am at the resort gym

obsetress: doing lunchtime spa treatments

em: dani and jamie having a tasty little beach nap

em: dani draws a smiley face on jamies stomach so she has like. a weird smiley face tan for Too long

obsetress: ,jakljkdsf

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: jamie's like "chicks will dig this right? it's like a scar"

obsetress: and dani just laughs and swats at her

obsetress: jamie, deciding to have a little fun: vi, chicks will dig this, right? do you dig it or

em: comically slow wink

obsetress: rebecca's catching dani's eye over the top of her sunglasses and they're exchanging a look

em: i KEEP thinking about 'i fucked ur ex'

em: and danis lil 'did you though bc i really dont think' like it CRACKS me up jdshfbanf

obsetress: nddndnndndndnd

obsetress: it’s so funny to meeeEEEEEEE

em: like i know we have the silly little tumblr posts but thats canon to me now bc it tickles me so much

[em note: ;/ ]

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: it's canon to me too

obsetress: dani, sitting in jamie's lap one night, all of them absolutely shitfaced: hey rebecca? becca: hmm? dani: do you ever think–– no. no, nevermind

[tfw-no-tennis]

huntoxhunto

we watched 2 whole more eps but we’re abt to vacay so i better recap this biz now before i forget

ok so we finished the zoldyck arc and uhhhh gotta say we werent expecting like any of that to happen lol 

ok ill back up so we start w/killuas mom (i dont think we ever heard her name) confronting gon & co....and canary (i lov her) is not dead which i assumed but thank goodness. 

zoldyck mom was totally using nen. also she is off her rocker gotta say. tho that visor is super cool, albeit confusing - is it connected to a bunch of security cameras or something? how does she see all that shit? 

granpa is wild. his tunic thing that says ‘one kill a day’ or w/e is kinda hilarious, it reminds me of the ‘apple a day keeps the dr away’ saying...a murder a day keeps the....idk away????

i love that killua makes it abundantly clear that he couldve like escaped at any time lol. also tho why didnt he just escape....baby boy just leave 

killua getting all serious and threatening milluki if he messes with gon....my boys got it BAD 

this family has so many communication issues hvbjadkfbjaskdfj nobody is on the same page at all 

the butler guy continued to remind me of kuro one piece this whole time...i was waiting for him to bust out the ridiculous cat claws

oh my GOD wait the flashbacks of EVEN BABIER KILLUA were so precious ;_; he was soooo tiny and cute oh my god. so precious. and canary was also so tiny and cute 

baby killua really just wanted a friend :(((( and canary wanted to be friends w/him but knew that mom zoldyck would kill her if she overstepped like that :( thats so tragic mannnn

also canary is so cool man. her beating up all those guys was epic

ok that whole scene with killua and his dad was like, such a rollercoaster lmao

like....it was all over the place for me...first of all the ambiance was wack, the room lighting was weird and im p sure killuas seat was an electric chair??? and the dad was in a coffin thing..???? like....interesting aesthetic choices all over the place here 

also i see now where killua got his hair and also his catboy tendencies. the zoldyck catboy genes seem to trace back to zoldyck dad, who has kinda scary cat eyes 

also im guessing that the dad is the blood zoldyck and the mom is the one who married in. they sure seem to put a lot of emphasis on like, family legacy or w/e, but the two parents certainty go abt it in different ways 

the whole convo b/w killua and his dad was wild, it totally didnt go where i was expecting it to. his dad was weirdly chill while also being super intense? 

killua happily telling stories abt gon was so sweet....baby boy baby 

and his dad telling him ‘never betray your friends’ was rlly interesting...i wonder what his reasons were for saying that 

cause then he tells killua he can leave, and killua does, but then dad zoldyck tells mom zoldyck (i rlly need to find out their names) that he thinks killua will come back on his own time....inch resting 

i wonder if dad zoldyck made killua promise that bc he was trying to set killua up for failure - as in, he tells killua to never betray his friends, thinking that killua inevitably will & be distraught abt it, and then turn back to the zoldyck family when this happens. idk

also its interesting to me that zoldyck dad wants killua to lead the family someday. like, illumi is right there, hes the oldest and clearly dedicated to being an evil assassin, and he seems p good at it...i wonder why killua is the favorite....the grandpa (i think) did say that killua is Special(tm) which...yes he is a special baby boy i love him. i wanna see more zoldyck family flashbacks/interactions so we can see what led them to this point 

oh lord that reminds me of illumi briefly appearing in the killua flashback and hes just like, suddenly there, wearing some gay ass sweater....like ok dude did you just come back from the Evil Assassin Library or st?????

that reminds me too, ruth tells me that apparently in the manga illumi and hisoka got married or something???? to which i say, thats fucking wild, but also it makes sense, those two are both horrible and disgusting and they absolutely deserve each other hbvajvhsdfjbak peak evil nasty gay rep, i love it. i cant wait to see whatever the fuck the context to that is bc, thats fucking wild

ok back to the plot so like its so wild to me how smoothly everything went hvubsjduhfbjsh like....killuas dad was rlly like ok u can leave and killua just went to the butler house and then canary woke up and was like ok gon & crew lets go to the butler house to see killua, fuck the rules, (and she didnt even get killed for ‘disobedience’ or w/e, or more likely - in most big shounen, she wouldve been attacked by the other evil butlers and gon wouldve had to fight them)

killua Rlly was like fuck this place im leaving my boyfriend and his parents are here to pick me up [puts on gayest outfit he owns and skateboards away] hvbhsjdfbjdkf

i love killuas weird gay preteen fashion so far and i cant wait to see more 

killua telling the butler guy to let him know as SOON as gon gets there cause he wants to see him AS SOON AS HE CAN ;_; bro they r....in love 

of course the butler is trickey tho lmao, any other shounen this wouldve turned into an 8 ep long fight scene sequence where gon has to fight the butlers in order to see killua 

and the of course gon is the same way, gon is like i need to see killua RIGHT NOW take me to him!!! ohhh my god babies

the whole coin game was wild, it was funny when the other butlers got involved too lmao 

when gon was like ‘hey leorio can i see your knife’ i was like OH NO I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. and i was right bc OWWWWW baby boy oh my god!!!! but that seems to have solved it even tho thats NOT how swelling works at ALL- 

anyways gon is a cute smart good boy and i also find it funny how killua eventually gets impatient and just busts in on this whole dramatic situation (and the tension immediately deescalates as a result lmao) 

tangent but god its so funny seeing all these butler guys deferring to killua, an actual 12 yr old....i wanna see the hilarious and hijink-filled results of killua being raised as a rich spoiled assassin prince. thats a lethal combo thats gotta result in some wildly skewed perceptions on how things work, especially paired with gon ‘probably eats dirt for fun and sleeps in trees’ freecess 

godddd gon and killuas lil reunion is SOOO cute they were so happy to see each other ;_; bro they are SO cuteeeee augh. two tiny babies

killua being like oh hi also uh kurapika andddd [looks at smudged writing on hand] lorpo 

hvhhbajfbs dont do my man leorio like that killua hes a hardworking father 

the fact that they just like. LEAVE...thats so wild. i cant believe how little fighting this arc had. this all wrapped up SO much faster than i could have ever anticipated lmao 

where the heck was alluka!? i assumed she’d show up here but uhhhh guess not......in the silhouette shot of all the zoldycks she and killua were holding hands ;_; my fucking uwus bro 

we also didnt see the grandma or great grandpa so im guessing theyll appear later 

gon being like fuck it im not using my hunters license til i punch hisoka in the fucking face hvbhahsfbjsk thats hilarious 

also a convenient way to let him have his hunters license but not utilize it til later in the story...its so early for him to have achieved that big chunk of his goal, which just shows that hxh is Not your typical shounen and isnt gonna just be centered around gons quest to become a hunter 

so we finally found out what hisoka said to kurapika....just as i thought, it was st to do w/the phantom troupe. so theres a handy setup for the yorknew city arc later. bam 

hisoka just being like ‘hey meet me in this (presumably) very large city on this date. no i will not tell you where in the city to meet me. bye seeya there’ 

tbf hisoka is very hard to miss 

god when they arrive and kurapika is just like ok well we got killua so im out lol bye everyone....bro hvbjkhgbfjhdksfhjk that felt so abrupt 

and then leorio was like oh yeah same i gotta go study time to take the fantasy MCAT or w/e

AND THEY BOTH LEFT....now gon and killua r chilling but im like oh my god no leorio kurapika come back, we need some (questionable) adult supervision over here 

and like immediately killua is like ok gon do you have money. and of Course gon doesnt have money. so killua is like well you need money and you need to train so you can deck hisoka, so lets go to a fantasy version of an underground fighting ring! this is why kurapika and leorio needed to stay 

tho they probably wouldve just gone along with it 

they did all promise to meet in yorknew city, but thats apparently like 6 months away. are gon and killua rlly gonna spend 6 months at heavens arena

the part where killua draws the diagram demonstrating how much of a n00b gon is....hvbajdkhfbhajskf

AND THEN when he drew himself into the diagram and was like :3c wow im so modest HBJHSKHDFHBJS that was so funny

it was like that post thats like ‘you can tell when a cats pupils change and they just shift into Silly Mode’ thats what killua looked like...catboy

so thats basically it i think, gon and killua are heading to heavens arena to join fight club or whatever. tournament arc time! 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

i doubt this is the last weve seen of the zoldyck family. i mean we havent even met 3 of them, and we barely saw the ones we did meet...idk when theyll come back but i suspect theyll be making some big money moves later on and fucking shit up somehow 

i think maybe illumi or someone will like, spy on killua sometimes to keep track of him. or theyll track him by other means

ill use the prediction corner to reflect on incorrect predictions so heres a few. i rlly thot killua was gonna be more edgy than he is but hes rlly just a good boy huh. like hes a gay baby assassin catboy but hes so cute and good too. he just wants to live his life and hang out with his tiny bf like... omg :’) 

also i thot hisoka held a totally different narrative role lbvahkfjhjjaksfl i thot he was like main villain guy....hes more like an annoying creepy clown dude who (probably) shows up a lot to bother the main cast. we’ll see, but thats what i think of him now

like i thought hisoka would be like p1 dio, where hed be/quickly become a powerful antagonist who would amass a bunch of followers/minions (when actually the only person he seems to hang out w/is illumi, and theyre more like equals than an evil guy/minion dynamic)...or like i thought hisoka would be very well known as a scary evil guy but nope he was just another participant in the hunter exam, albeit a weird freaky one whose rancid vibes everyone seemed to pick up on 

anyways actual predictions, i think hisoka is gonna be at heavens arena, which would be super funny. gon is like im gonna train to beat hisoka and he shows up to do that and hisokas just there like >;) hey

i think if i had to guess, the zoldycks will show up again (in a plot important way) at the end of the yorknew arc/before the greed island arc. i know basically nothing abt any of the arcs but i do know the order they go in so theres that

i do think illumi will show up earlier than the other zoldycks tho, since he seems to be out doing his own thing more than the rest. also we still really havent resolved the whole mind control thing that im still convinced of 

i think nen will finally be introduced/alluded to heavily in this arc...or like, characters will use nen and gon will be like whoa whats that 

i think killua knows what nen is...maybe? it would make sense since im sure all the zoldycks can use it (at least, we saw mom zoldyck use it, probably)

can killua use nen already? that would be pretty funny. i dont think so tho. maybe u learn nen at a certain age. i have no idea what nen is 

also isnt gons nen power the power to like, turn into a really buff version of himself or something. how the fuck does that work 

ok enough nonsense its bedtime zzzzz