#but here we are. sleepy crue. ;;

[robinsnest2111]

brb crying over some soft moments in the roadtrip au...

Nikki being too wired from the residual adrenaline of running away with his bandmates in tow to sleep, so he keeps driving through the night.

At their last stop, Mick had crawled into the back of the van, claiming the thin mattress, a pillow and blanket as his own. Vince and Tommy had joined him soon after.

Nikki had turned down the radio to let them rest in relative quiet. After several hours of staring out into the dark night and the short stretch of road illuminated by old yellow-tinged headlights, he looks up into the rear view mirror for a quick glance. The image of Tommy and Vince all curled around Mick in the back of the van, sleeping so sweetly and peacefully, does something to his heart.

Nikki's adrenaline is slowly running out but he still has a good couple hours in him. At least until sometime after sunrise. Until then he'd have lots of time to think.

---

The first rays of sun wake up Mick who lets out a quiet hiss while sitting up and trying to shield his eyes with a raised arm, which in turn startles awake Tommy and Vince who have to untangle themselves from Mick's limbs.

They see Nikki is still driving and gently bully him into trading places, getting him to pull over for a bit. Mick volunteers to get behind the wheel, Vince slinks into the passenger seat. Tommy stays on the mattress and beckons Nikki over, luring him with still warm blankets, soft pillows, and a good terror twins cuddle. And who is he to refuse such an offer, as tired as he is.

Nikki practically melts into Tommy's loving embrace, passing out as soon as his head is nestled on his friend's chest. Tommy wraps the blankets over them both and runs his fingers through Nikki's messy hair.

Mick discusses the day's plans with Vince regarding food, other necessities, and maybe a spot to park and properly rest for a couple of hours. Nikki had regaled them with his grand plan for several hours after he had picked all of them up in a hurry and Mick feels like it's up to him to take care of this band of idiots while Nikki is out cold.

[storiesforallfandoms]

Masterlist 3!

Here’s the third masterlist for all of my works! If you want to check out more of my work, here’s the links for masterlist one and masterlist two Imagines marked * are smutty imagines! Imagines marked ` are requests! Imagines marked ⭐ are personal favorites!

IMAGINES

STRANGER THINGS small ~ jim hopper` dance with me ~ eddie munson ⭐ starry night ~ steve harrington* (part five) ⭐ at the hip ~ steve harrington` ⭐ triple date ~ steve harrington (part six) ⭐ the freak ~ steve harrington (part seven) ⭐ oblivious ~ eddie munson ⭐ jason doesn’t know ~ eddie munson ⭐ this is music ~ eddie munson` ⭐

SUPERNATURAL strange human feelings ~ castiel` cleaning ~ dean winchester`

HANNIBAL into fiction` sob story ~ hannibal lecter

THE BOYS obsession ~ billy butcher* ⭐ herogasm ~ soldier boy* ⭐ alone on christmas ~ billy butcher can’t get too close ~ billy butcher ⭐ change in a heartbeat ~ billy butcher ⭐ the bad room ~ homelander ⭐

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY life father ~ diego hargreeves` rescue mission ~ klaus hargreeves’ ⭐

THE LAST OF US (HBO) friendly neighbors ~ joel miller ⭐ too sweet ~ joel miller

BARRY attraction ~ barry berkman` treat him better ~ barry berkman

AMERICAN HORROR STORY late night sins ~ xavier plympton (1984)*`

VICTORIOUS lost dog ~ tori vega` junker ~ beck oliver

HEMLOCK GROVE i don’t ever wanna see you with him ~ roman godfrey ⭐

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES roses are red ~ damon salvatore` ⭐

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH captive ~ blackbeard/ed teach ⭐

PEAKY BLINDERS moved on ~ thomas shelby

FUTURE MAN winner ~ josh futturman* ⭐

GAME OF THRONES littlest lion ~ oberyn martell (part one) ⭐ freedom ~ oberyn martell (part two) ⭐

THE WITCHER destiny ~ geralt of rivia

DOCTOR WHO looks of a princess ~ eleventh doctor ⭐

BRIDGERTON by the lake ~ benedict bridgerton

THE GENTLEMEN the assistant ~ raymond smith ⭐

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN spirit of nature ~ jack sparrow`

THE MAZE RUNNER i’ll keep you safe ~ newt`

MARVEL how things are now ~ marc spector and steven grant` ⭐ kneel ~ loki* the most wonderful time ~ bucky barnes fast ~ pietro maximoff ⭐

1917 early morning ~ will schofield*`

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT happy birthday ~ javi gutierrez ⭐

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S i need someone older ~ william afton ⭐ the ice cream girl ~ mike schmidt

SALTBURN new toy ~ felix catton ⭐ partners ~ oliver quick ⭐

THE SANTA CLAUSE santa’s sister-in-law ~ bernard the elf

8 MILE one of the guys ~ jimmy smith jr ⭐

THE FALL GUY the space cowboy and the pa ~ tom ryder

A QUIET PLACE i’d find you in any life ~ eric ⭐

GLADIATOR II betrothed ~ emperor geta ⭐

PETE DAVIDSON your gift` favoritism`

HARRY STYLES the perfect tree a star in the making` sleepy head`

MACHINE GUN KELLY baby mama` ⭐ my queen*` getting your attention*` all the mistakes` not what it looks like` can’t keep doing this*`

EMINEM may the best artist win*` too close for comfort` ⭐ when it’s wrong but it feels right` in the dressing room*` he’s acting different` we have to stop meeting like this` every inch*` let’s surprise the world` i’m sorry i let you down`

GOODGUYFITZ wake up call*`

CORPSE HUSBAND letting go` they forgot` ⭐

ASHTON IRWIN home life` cover me*`

CONAN GRAY pushing`

MATTHEW LILLARD accidental drunk confessions`

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE feeling good*`

ALEX TURNER more than a song*` ⭐

BO BURNHAM can’t handle this right now ⭐ look at me*`

KRISTEN STEWART special customer`

TARON EGERTON he already has my approval ⭐

ROBERT PATTINSON my favorite superhero

GERARD WAY good girl*`

GWILYM LEE history repeats itself`

RYAN GOSLING play date`

JOSEPH QUINN bad idea, right? ⭐

RANBOO fluffy haired gamer boy`

JACOB ELORDI height advantage`

MOTLEY CRUE she is mine ~ mick mars`

CHRIS EVANS not used to normal` ⭐

SWAGGERSOULS our next step`

JSCHLATT too far ⭐ the hotel room* ⭐

JOHNNY DEPP just for us`

TRAVIS BARKER the parent trap`

SHIPS

family reunion ~ hermione granger x draco malfoy`

HEADCANONS

showing pedro pascal fan edits ⭐ sitting on jschlatt’s lap ⭐

NSFW ALPHABET

rook (jp capellette)*` eddie munson* ⭐ billy butcher* ⭐

[julessworldd]

Little Rose

Chapter 4

warnings: cussing, physical fighting(mention of it), its guns so alochol, drugs, sex, fighting. 

A/N: To the mutals, who helped with being groupies. I do degrade you in this, drag your character through the mud. I didn’t make it to make fun of you or anything striclty for the plot. I love you wondeful babies! @reigns420​ as Michelle @marteolus24​ as Evelyn, @slashscowboyboots​ as Karen(I forgot to ask my bad) Hope you guys enjoy! Sorry for the late upate <3

Groupies never bother me too bad, unless I needed one of the boys and they were balls deep in a groupie, who had been with Van Halen to Motley Crue. They were a part of the rock n’ roll scene along with booze, drugs, traveling the world.  I never saw the hype in them, to me they were just cheap easy girls, who had issues that needed male validation to cope with life’s fucked up ways.  The boys’ groupies have never liked me or wanted to believe that I was Axl’s sister and the band’s assistant. I’ve had one call me a whore for kissing Axl’s cheek before a show one night. Greffen wasn’t too happy to hear, Guns N’ Roses’ assistant sent a girl to the E.R with a concussion, two broken ribs, a busted nose and chin. 

“Hey Princess”, Duff pulled into his chest from behind. 

“Hi Handsome, how was sound check?”, I turned around and had my arms around his neck. “Good, I missed you though”, Duff ran his hand over my rib cage. “I missed you too, Dork”, I kissed his chest, feeling his warmth and sweat. “Come on”, He grabbed my hand. Duff was dragging me like a child to his dressing room. “Duff, slow down”, I giggled. Duff suddenly stopped in his tracks.  “Duff, what’s wrong?”, I asked.  “Oh hey, Duff”, I heard a female voice. “Uh hi”, Duff swallowed. I looked passed him and sure enough it was a groupie.  “Wanna go into a storage closet and have some fun?”, She walked up to Duff and ran her hand down his chest. My blood was boiling and I saw red.  “Uh what is she doing here?”, Michelle snarled her nose.  “Yeah, Duff what am I doing here with you?”, I asked. Duff stayed silent and still. Michelle smirked and pulled Duff by his hair, “I think I hear Izzy hollering for me, see ya around Duff”, I turned around and walked down the hall.  Normally, I would have pounced a groupie for being that rude to me, but Duff hasn’t come out and said he’s off the market. “Hey Janie, I thought you were with Duff?”, Axl asked.  “Oh yeah, he was tired and fell asleep”, I lied. Axl nodded, “I’m gonna call Erin, anything you want me to tell or ask her?”  “No, just tell her I love her and peanut”, I smiled. Axl walked down the hall to his room. “What now?”, Izzy asked, leaning on a wall, lighting a cigarette. “Nothing”, I rolled my eyes.

“There’s something, your eyes are darker”, Izzy said. “Just a groupie is all. Why the hell can’t they figure out when guys are taken? Mhm? Hell that probably doesn't occur to them”, I said.  “Who was it?”, Izzy asked. “Michelle, I think. Her and Duff definitely had something more than wham bam, thank you ma'am. He didn’t do anything to get her to quit, let her rub up on him and his chest. While I was standing right behind, he didn’t tell her to quit because he has a girlfriend.”, I said sinking to the ground, pulling my knees to my chest. “I’m sorry kid. Duff probably froze, like a deer in headlights”, Izzy said, sitting next to me. “He didn’t say or do anything when I told him I thought I heard you hollering for me. Wonder what he’s doing with that-”, I clenched my fist, anger boiling within me more. “Go find him, kid. Kick his ass but not too bad we got a show”, Izzy moved hair away from my face. “I’m like Axl, I have blind anger. I'll kill him if I don’t get pulled off of him. Remember that girl I sent to the hospital last year. It took Axl, Duff, a security guard to get me off of her. I tried fighting the security dude too.”, I breathed out. Izzy knew how Axl and I are wired, I can actually bite back unlike Axl who just barks half of the time. “True, just go talk to him, set ground rules. I love Duff, but you’re the little sister I never wanted but will kill for you”, Izzy held my hand, smiling at me. “Thanks Izzy, love you”, I kissed his cheek, before getting up again.

I bounced down the hall, like Popcorn does. “Hey Janie, guess what?”, Axl grabbed my hand, making me stop. “Yeah Ax?”, I turned to him, he had a smile the size of Texas.  “I’m having a daughter”, He almost had tears in his eyes. A Niece, a princess like I knew at the airport. “That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you two. We were right”, I laughed, trying to not to cry. “I know, can’t believe I’m gonna have a daughter. What if she doesn't like me?”, Axl had pulled me into a hug. “You’re gonna be an amazing dad, Axl. I promise you that, you’re not gonna be like him. You’ve pretty much raised and protected me for years and I’ve turned out good. Oh I love you too”, I squeezed him tightly. “Thanks kid, love you too”, Axl smiled. 

I knocked on Duff’s door, he opened it. He had tears streaming down his face, his face was blotchy and pink. “Hey, what’s the matter?”, I asked. “I’m sorry, Janie”, He said. “For what?”, I asked softly. “For not telling Michelle that I’m with you. You probably thought I cheated, I didn’t. I love you and never want to lose you. I told her and that I wanted her to let the others know what Duff McKagan is happily with Axl’s little sister”, Duff pulled into his bare chest. I saw lipstick marks on his pecs, collarbone.  “Duff, it’s okay. I’m sorry leaving you, I was just taking myself away before I pounced on her. I love you. Did she try kissing you?”, I rubbed his chest where salmon color lipstick stained.  “Yeah, I pushed her away. Probably too hard for a girl, but it just happened that way”, Duff said. “I believe you, Duffy. She would have a busted face from me so your pushing was okay. I think she got the point after you freaked out on here”, I laughed. Truthfully, I’m not sure what Michelle would have got from me. Duff wasn’t  gonna be wrapped in a red ribbon with a bow on his head, at her doorstep that’s for sure.  “Oh I gotta tell you something”, I smiled up at him. “What’s that, Princess?”, Duff asked. “Axl is a father to a baby girl, we’re right”, I giggled. “Holy shit, that’s amazing”, Duff kissed my forehead. “I know! I’ve already bought a sleeper when we were in Manchester. It has a pink elephant with a purple bow”, I gushed. Duff was just staring at me with adoration and a smile on his face. “I just hope she doesn't have her dad’s red hair”, Duff smirked.  “I have red hair, what’s wrong with red?”, I whined, my heart felt like it was stabbed. “Nothing, just aggravating Axl is all. I love your red hair, love running my fingers through, I like it when I wake up and it’s in my face.”, Duff grinned, kissing me. “Fuck you, bottle blonde”, I stabbed back. “Mines dirty blonde naturally, baby”, Duff smirked. 

We finally finished the European leg and were back in the U.S, the American leg was always easy and fun.  “Baby? Wake up”, I heard Duff whisper into my ear. “Mhm”, I groaned. “Oh I woke you, my bad. Go back to bed”, Duff said. “No what do you want?”, I asked, yawning. He didn’t say anything, I felt his tent on my thigh. “Really Duff it’s 4am?”, I groaned. “I’m sorry, he has a mind of his own. Not my fault you’re so damn gorgeous”, He whined. “If I give you head, will you leave me alone so I can sleep?”, I asked, rolling over to face him. Duff nodded, but he raised his hand a little. “What is it, Duffy?”, I sighed. “Actually, I wanted to give you head?”, He blushed a little. “Oh”, I laughed. “Same thing, will you let me sleep?”, I asked. He nodded his head furiously,  “Better make worth your while, bub. Waking me up, when I was sleeping so-”, I said, but he attacked my core. “Mhm fuck Duff”, I whined. “You said to make it worth my while”, Duff said as he entered two fingers in me. I pushed his head back, “Don’t talk”, he continued eating me out. Soon enough, Duff triggered my high and I whined and pulled his hair. Duff came up and rubbed his head, “I’m not a girl who you’re curb stomping, damn.”  “I’m sorry Duff, I’ll make it up to you”, I kissed him. “Really?”, Duff smirked. “You gotta let me sleep for a good while, okay?”, I said fluffing my pillow more. “Fine”, he whined. “Go to sleep, Duff. It’s almost five am”, I said. “But, I still have a problem”, Duff pointed to his crotch.  “Alright fine you broke me. If any injuries occur don’t sue me”, I sighed, crawling to him.  “Sue you? Baby, you don’t get paid enough”, Duff smirked. “You’re burying yourself deeper, boy”, I gave him a go to hell look. After giving Duff a sloppy/sleepy head he finally let me sleep. 

“If you touch me besides a cuddling position. Think of me as  the Berlin Wall, you’ll know what barbed wire feels like between your legs”, I looked at him.  He nodded and he was out like a light. 

Izzy was known for being quiet and a part of the shadows,which was cool the majority of the time. Only if we weren’t on tour and Duff and him had an interview and he needed to be ready in five minutes. “Hey Slash, have you seen Izzy?”, I asked the curly guitarist, who was strumming his guitar. “Uhh, I think he went off with a groupie. She was blonde, sorta small, kinda like you”, Slash grinned. “He doesn't have time to rail a chick right now. Fuck, you guys really stress me the fuck out at times.”, I pinched my nose. “Sorry, Janie. I think he took her to his room”, Slash gave a tiny smile. “Thank you, Slash. See ya around”, I gave him a hug. “See ya kid, be safe”, Slash said. “I’m older than you,'' I said, opening his door. “And I’m taller”, Slash laughed. “I hope your string pops”, I smirked. Duff was standing outside our room, “Hey Gorgeous” “Not now! Are you ready? If you’re not, I’m gonna kill you with your bass”, I said. “Yeah, waiting on you and Iz”, Duff said. “Apparently, he’s balls deep into a blonde chick. Like I know exactly who he’s fucking Slash”, I rolled my eyes. Duff was gonna say something when we heard a huge pornographic female moan along with Izzy’s name. “He’s finished now”, Duff smirked.  We leaned against the wall next to his door, “See ya around Iz”, the door opened and revealed the groupie or random chick. She blushed seeing Duff. I gotta keep him a shorter leash. 

“Jeffery Dean! Get your ass ready now, before I cut your head off”, I yelled standing outside his door.  “I’m dressed, Janet! Anything else you wanna bitch at me for?”, Izzy yelled. “No”, I said sad and my lip started quivering. Izzy and Axl are the two people I hate to be yelled at from, Izzy could be brutal especially if he was coming down from smack. 

I stayed in the green room as the boys were being interviewed by Kurt Loader.  Izzy hasn’t yelled at me like that since my ex, Ashton, cheated on me twice. I know Izzy wasn’t exactly yelling towards me, but he was being loud and it reminded me of being back in Lafayette. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“God, Janie he done it twice for fuck sakes. When are you gonna see he’s a piece of shit and you deserve better!”, Izzy yelled. 

“Izzy, leave her the fuck alone. She’s upset”, Pamela rubbed my back. 

“She’s fine, Pam. Leave her alone, she needs to be bitched at. Axl’s out fucking whoever, so it’s my job to-”, Izzy stopped in mid sentence as I smacked his face. The room was silent, Pamela’s mouth hung open, Izzy held his jaw and cheek.  “Fuck you, Jeff!”, I slammed the door and ran down the stairs to my car.  “Janie?”, I looked up to see Duff standing with a case of Budwiser.  “You okay? Did you and Axl fight again?”, he asked calmly.  “No, Izzy and I did. Ashton cheated on me again and Izzy lost his shit over it. Pamela told him to lay off, but he didn’t. He made me so fucking mad that I uh smacked him across his face. I just ran down here. Are you here to hang out with Izzy?”I said while trying to hold my tears. 

“I was, but screw him. Wanna drive around for a while and finish the case?” Duff asked in a soft voice. Duff and I were kinda close but Axl told us no funny shit. “Sure. Your car or mine?”, I asked. “Come on”, Duff held his hand out for me. I was hesitant to take it. What  if Izzy or Pamela were looking down. “Come on, I won’t bite”, Duff grinned. I took his hand and he led the way to his car.  We drank the whole case and made out in the backseat.  “Ashton was an ass to you, I hated seeing the way he treated you”, Duff admitted. “Why? He was just a dude, who I was too blind to see he’s shit. Izzy is right”, I sighed. “I mean yeah Izzy had a point. I care because I hate seeing girls being treated like shit. I would kill  a guy from treating my sisters like he did you. You’re an amazing woman, Janie. You’re sweet, protective, loving, got the prettiest smile ever. Any guy would be lucky to have and would be a fool to lose you.”, Duff said. “Thanks Duff. You’re not so bad yourself. Too bad Ax told us no funny shit”, I said. “You always listen to your brother? You’re 22, Janie”, Duff asked. I climbed into his lap and kissed him. 

That was the first time we fucked and led to where we are now. Ironically, I pissed Izzy off and Duff is being his sweetheart self, mending the pieces back between us.  The door opened, I looked over. It was Izzy. “Here to yell at me more cause you didn’t get enough smack this morning?”, I sassed. “Janie, I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep last night, Karen wouldn’t get off of me”, Izzy defended himself. “I don’t care. Where’s Duff?”, I asked. I wasn’t ready to accept his apology and hug him again. “Outside the door”, Izzy mumbled. I passed him and went to find Duff. Duff was getting ready to lit a cigarette, a stick was perched between his teeth as he rummaged to find a lighter. I brought my lighter to him. “Thanks, gorgeous”, Duff smiled as he blew out smoke. I forced myself into his arms and laid my head on his chest. “What’s wrong, baby?”, Duff wrapped an arm around my back.  “I just need to be held for a bit”, I mumbled. “I can do that, Janie”, Duff whispered, bringing me closer to him. 

It was getting close to showtime, each boy was in their dressing room doing whatever pre show ritual, finishing a quick nap. “What happened between you and Iz?”, Axl asked, combing his hair. “Just him coming down, you know how he is if you tell him what to do. Plus he was with a groupie.”, I said. “Who was it?”, Axl asked. “What the fuck does it matter? You’re married and have a kid on the way”, I scoffed.  “You’re right. I’m sorry he yelled at you. I can kick his ass for you”, Axl pulled me into a hug. “I love you, but Izzy would put up a good fight. He’s scrappy”, I giggled. “Hey there’s that laugh”, Axl grinned, ruffling my hair. “Have a good show, Ax. I’m gonna go find Duff. Love you”, I said, kissing his cheek. “Thanks, kid. Love you too”, Axl rubbed my shoulder. Duff’s door was cracked, weird. Maybe he got hot or a roadie forgot to shut it back. I opened the door, a girl was in his room but no sign of him. “Uh who are you?”She asked. “His girlfriend, who the hell are you and why are you in here?”, I asked, feeling my blood pressure rising.  “Evelyn, I always come see him when he’s in town.”, Evelyn flipped her black hair back.  “Listen here you green-eyed sex kitten, Duff isn’t single anymore. So you get your horny ass up and tell all the other whores that Duff McKagan isn’t available for you to have fun. I’m sure you can find one of the guys to fuck in a storage closet”, I said. “I’m not leaving until I hear Duff say he’s with you”, Evelyn rolled her eyes. “Not a chance, sweetness. You’re leaving now without a scratch or you’re leaving in an ambulance. Your choice, Evie”, I smirked. “I’m not leaving until I hear Duf-”, She was cut off. “Evelyn, I would get up and leave if I was you and had some sense”, Duff said. “You’re not seriously with this rude bitch? Duff what about what we had?”, She whined. “I am, I appreciate you if I would stop being rude to my girl, I asked you to leave”, Duff said, standing behind me. Evelyn huffed and walked out. “I’m sorry that they don’t listen and are rude to you. I just forgot to tell them”, Duff said, bringing my hand to his chest. “That’s not gonna work if you don’t tell the press you’re not single anymore”, I pouted. “I did today, Kurt asked if Izzy and I were single or not? It was a fan question”, Duff said. “Really?”, I blushed. “Sure did. Said how much I love you and how you make me feel safe, like I’m home”, Duff said.

I smiled, “That’s how I feel about you. You’ve always made me feel safe” 

“I’m glad I have, you’re so damn pretty”, Duff smiled. “5 minutes”, a roadie said. “Good luck”, I kissed his cheek. “Thanks. You gonna watch?”, Duff asked. “Of course, silly”, I said as we left his room. Steven was drumming his sticks on the wall and Slash’s top hat. Izzy stood staring at the floor. “Iz?”, I asked.  He looked up at me, I pulled him to my arms, “Can’t stay mad at you, no matter how much I try to. I’m sorry screaming at you this morning”, I whispered. “It's okay kid, you’re just doing your job. We kinda give you a hard time, sorry about overreacting to you”, Izzy rubbed my back. “Good luck”, I kissed his cheek. “Thanks”, Izzy smiled. “Hey you two made up”, Axl said. “We did”, I smiled. They had to go on. 

I’m glad we can fuss at each other and at the end of day we got each other's back. Crazy, dysfunctional family, but it was the closest thing to a family I had.

[the--blackdahlia]

Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 39 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 39

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings:  Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.

“Nessa…” (Y/n) whined, laying on Vanessa’s couch. She tossed Vince’s shirt to the floor before laying her head back on the pillow. “I need help.”

“What’s going on?” Vanessa sighed as she said as she picked up the shirt and tossed it in a nearby hamper.

“How long have Nikki and I been seeing each other this second time?” (Y/n) asked her, knowing Vanessa had been keeping track.

“Six months, two weeks, and three day?” she nodded and smiled.

“And what year is it this year?” (Y/n) asked.

“93,” Vanessa sighed as she sat on a nearby chair with her legs tucked under her. “Is he being a sloth?”  

“Let me answer it this way. You wanna know the last time we had sex? 1987!” (Y/n) yelled. “And he was probably still high despite what the hospital gave him!”

“Have you thrown yourself at him?” Vanessa chortled as she took a sip of her wine.

“I have dropped so many hints. I did a romantic dinner the other night. I bought cute underwear and asked him if he wanted to see me in them. And every time we get close to going to bed, he pulls away and we just...go to bed…” (Y/n) sighed.

“I think he’s taking this whole, ‘I’m going to hurt her’ thing to far,” Vanessa sighed. “Ok, how about you just… suck him off while he’s sleeping? See if that’ll get him going?” she shrugged. “I mean honestly he is just…. I don't know anymore.”

“If I don’t get laid soon, I’m gonna go to London.” (Y/n) knew she wouldn’t, but she was just so frustrated. “Like, I know he’s jacking off. I can hear him when I’m in the shower. And he says I’m not quiet…”

“Wait he’s…” Vanessa threw her head back and groaned. “Ok, that is just… WHY?!”

“What do I do Nessa?” (Y/n) asked. “I don’t want to make him do something he doesn’t want to do, but I…” She looked up as Vince walked by.

“Babe, you see my shirt?” Vince asked, looking around. (Y/n) looked over at Vanessa and bit her lip.

“In the hamper,” Vanessa sighed. “I mean you could just tie him naked to the bed?”

“Oh, who are we tying naked to the bed?” Vince asked, flopping in a chair. “Girl talk, I like this.” (Y/n) looked over at Vanessa, trying to stop herself from laughing.

“Vince….OUT!” Vanessa pointed to the room.

“But...why does Mick get to have girl talk but not me? I mean, we can talk, do our makeup, naked pillow fights. It’s fun!” Vince ducked as (Y/n) and Vanessa threw a pillow at him.

“It’s because he doesn’t say shit like that!” Vanessa groaned and laughed. “Besides, his advice is better!”  

“Hey, I have some good ideas. Remember that thing we did last night?” Vince told her. (Y/n) sighed and threw her head back dramatically. She didn’t want a reminder that everyone else was having sex but her.

“Yeah, but that’s not going to work in this situation babe,” Vanessa shook her head and looked at (Y/n). “Ok, I mean the only other option I got is you take his face in your hands squeeze his head and stare him in the eye’s. You then say ‘if you don’t fuck me soon I’m walking out that door!’ that should light a fire under his ass.”  

“But...I don’t want him to spiral or anything.” (Y/n) sighed. “Maybe I could become a nun. Think they’d like someone with a pentagram on her hip?”

“Yeah that’s a big fat no, and the worst he could do is say no to sex if it means you stay with him,” Vanessa took a sip and sighed. “I mean… so far he’s been pretty good.”

“I just feel so….ah!” She yelled out.

“I have a suggestion! The three of us go up to the bedroom…” Vince called from the kitchen.

“SHUT UP VINCE!” (Y/n) and Vanessa called out together.

“Damn. No wonder I don’t want to be in girl talk.” He grumbled.

*************

“Mick…. I went back into sloth mode!” Nikki sighed in the studio.

“Are you kidding me?” Mick sighed. “I thought we were getting into sleepy house cat territory!”

“I…I want to fuck her I do but…” Nikki groaned. “I feel like if I do, I’m going to ruin her.”

“Are you...Nikki, you realize what you’re doing?” Mick asked. “By denying her this, she’s gonna start thinking you don’t find her attractive or something. And do you want her to end up back in the arms of that Poison bastard?” Mick sighed. “I mean, he did write the number 1 hit of 1988 about her.”

Nikki sat up straight and banked his head on the soundboard, “I’m an ass.” he got up and ran his hand across his face. “Ok… Ok… I’ll grab some take out on the way home, candles, roses and just go from there… that’s romantic right?”

“Nikki, she’s not a virgin anymore. I think she’d be okay with you just doing her anywhere.” Mick shrugged. “She’s that desperate, the romance won’t matter, but you do you sir.”

“I should get going, maybe I can get home before her… I just… Mick… I don’t want to relapse here,” Nikki shook his head.

“Tell me why you think you’ll relapse.” Mick said. “We can work it out.”

“I’m scared that, if I make one wrong move, just one…” Nikki took a deep breath. “It’s just going to spiral man.”

“I...Nikki, she could’ve been a big shot in London. She could’ve stayed in New York. But she came back here for you. She wants to be here. So I don’t think adding sex to the equation is going to change anything.”

Nikki let Mick’s words sink in and he nodded. “Thanks Mick,” he got up and gave the guitarist a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll see ya tomorrow.” Nikki grabbed his keys and made his way out the door.

“Make sure she can walk tomorrow!” Mick called out. “And don’t forget to come get your squirrel badge!”

*********

Driving home Nikki found himself smiling at the thought of feeling (Y/n) again. It had been years since he really been with anyone. Parking the car, he grabbed his bass from the trunk and made his way inside.

“(Y/n), you home?” he called out. Ziggy ran to him from his favorite spot in the house almost sliding towards him.

“Kitchen!” She called out to him. She turned to look at him as he walked in. She decided to just put it out there in his face. So she was wearing her cute underwear and nothing else.

Nikki walked into the kitchen and froze, “wow.” He slowly walked towards her and smiled, “special occasion?”  

“I...well…” She sighed. “Nikki, I need you. Really bad.” She walked to him.

Nikki took her in his arms lifting her up and kissing her deeply as he made his way up the stairs to his room. Placing her on the bed he broke the kiss to strip down to his underwear. Crawling back on top of her he captured her lips once again and let his hands roam her body.  

“Nikki…” (Y/n) moaned, arching into his touch. His hand brushed near her mound and he could already feel how soaked her panties were. “Please baby.”

“Don’t have to ask twice,” he muttered against her skin as he pulled off her underwear before stripping his own off. “Straight to it?”  

“We have time for foreplay later. I need you now.” She told him.

Nikki lined himself up above her. He  kissed her before gently teasing her. Nikki was about to push into her when the doorbell rang and various knocks echoed throughout the house.

“What the fuck?” Nikki growled.

“Maybe if we ignore it, it will go away?” (Y/n) asked, but the knocks and ringing continued. “Are you fucking kidding me?” She sighed. “Why now?”

“Because, the universe wants to see me suffer?” Nikki muttered against her skin. He sighed and put on his boxers and grabbed his robe. “I’ll go see who it is.”

“Hurry back please.” (Y/n) whined. She had been so ready for him. She sighed happily just thinking about it when his voice called her.

"Umm…(Y/n)...I might need you down here," his voice sounded both annoyed and full of pity.  

With a groan she grabbed a robe and tired it tightly around herself. When she made it halfway down the stairs she placed her hand on her head.

"Oh my god." she groaned. "what are you doing here?"

"Hey! There is my baby sister!" Tommy stumbled on his way to the stairs. "You look happy… I'm glad…" he said sadly and started to groan. "I messed up."

"With me or Heather?" (Y/n) asked.

“Both,” Tommy snorted and sat on the steps. “I… I cheated on her… I think… and… I don’t know,” he swayed back and forth as Ziggy sat in front of him tilting his head. “Your dog is weird.”

“Tommy… man… what do you need?” Nikki looked at (Y/n) and sighed. There goes their perfect night.

"Can I stay here for a bit?" Tommy asked quietly. "I don't trust myself anywhere else."

“We…” Nikki looked to (Y/n). The last thing he wanted was for Tommy to stay here and interrupt them every chance he got. It’s what put a small split in their relationship the first time. “(Y/n)?”

"Not my house." She sighed, glaring a little at Tommy. "I'm going to go get a shower or something." She headed towards the bathroom, slamming the door.

Nikki ran his hand across his face, “come on… you can stay down here in the guest bedroom. I need to go talk to (Y/n).” he helped Tommy get to the bed of the guest bedroom as soon as Tommy’s body hit the bed he was out like a light. Nikki looked at Ziggy who laid down and the floor and whined while his eyes looked up at the stairs. “Yeah, I know…”

Nikki made his way up the steps and to his room. He could hear the shower going. Licking his lips he closed the door to the bedroom locking it and made his way to the shower stripping himself of his robe and boxers. He could hear her moaning and he smirked. He could only imagine what she was doing. He could she her head thrown back and her fingers between her legs. His own cock twitched at the sight. He opened the door to the shower and stepped in.

“You know,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her, “this is a very good idea.” he kissed her shoulder pressing his hardening cock against her lower back.  

"You still want me?" She pressed back against him. "Because I still want you."

“I’ve wanted you since I met you back in ‘82 sweet girl,” he whispered as he turned her around and kissed her. His fingers replaced her as they found her sweet center. He moaned at the feeling of her on his fingers. He curled tham and smirked at the way she withered against him. “God you feel good.”

"Nikki!" (Y/n) moaned. She pressed against his fingers. "Please."

“Fuck,” Nikki breathed as he pushed her up against the wall and entered her. He let out a strangled cry as she sank on him. He thrust into her his hips flush with hers as he let her adjust to him. “God you feel so good, (Y/n).”

"I missed you." She moaned, pressing close to him. "Take me Mr... Mr. Sixx."

“As you wish Ms. Bass,” he said and began thrusting into her. His lips kissing hers as he let his fingers find her clit pressing circles on it.

"Nikki!" (Y/n) moaned, already close. she had been worked up for months.

“Fuck (Y/n) you still feel so good,” NIkki muttered against her lips as he felt himself get close. “Shit I’m so close (Y/n).”

"Cum for me silly boy." (Y/n) gripped onto him. "Fuck!" She came around him.

Nikki groaned as he kissed her spilling into her. His chest heaved and he let her down gently kissing her. “Damn that was hot.” he breathed as he caressed her body. He pressed his forehead against hers. “Should have done this earlier,” he admitted, “I’m sorry.” Nikki caressed her cheek and smiled. “Let’s get clean and then dirty again.”

Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme

Motley Crue Tags:  @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva @lesliethegroupie @deacyduck @scarecrowmax

Nikki Sixx Tags:  @daisystuffsstuff @unknownoblivion @deakysblueoutfit

Too Young to Fall in Love Tags:  @kingbouji3 @leximus98 @thekidbakerinthetardis @crystalbaby12 @shawnsstxtches @knockemdeadgirl @deansgirl1993

[thedirtpreferences]

Preference #11 - Car Accident (Requested)

Nikki: It was as if his world came to a vicious, screeching halt. Nikki had experienced hardships since he was born, but all that paled in comparison to the horror that he was currently facing. Furthermore, it was unbearable. The pain that lapped through him in cruel waves made his chest burn, and suddenly he was collapsing to his knees. Even though Doc was still talking, Nikki couldn’t comprehend a single word he was saying. All he could focus on was the very first sentence he had uttered; all he could focus on was the fact that you had been in a major car accident and your status was still pending. Nikki couldn’t get the mental image out of his head; you were home, alone in a hospital and he was not. In fact, he was nowhere near being home. He was thousands and thousands of miles away from you, dead in the middle of Motley Crue’s most successful tour to date. None of that mattered anymore, however. The only thing that mattered was you. Not everything Nikki had worked so incredibly hard on, not the success of the band, not even his own bandmates; you. All that he had ever wanted, all that he had ever needed, the best thing that had happened to him was you. And you needed him. And if that meant he had to go down kicking and screaming, fighting or killing, he was going to do it. Because until the moment you were in his arms again, Nikki wasn’t going to relax. “I need to see her,” The words that came out of his mouth were so mangled and broken that nobody could deny him of his requests. Nikki was going home because he NEEDED to and he wasn’t going to be alone: his three other bandmates were as well. Furthermore, they had never seen Nikki so broken in the existing years they had grown to know and love him as a brother. They knew that Nikki needed them more than ever right now.

~

“So, she’s going to wake up? She’s going to be okay?” Nikki breathed as his heart pounded swiftly in his chest, relief trickling over him. “She’s going to be okay, but keep in mind her injuries are going to make for a long recovery. It might take her some time to feel like herself again.” The doctor smiled reassuringly, as Mick clapped Nikki on the back, Tommy and Vince exhaling in relief. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. Can I see her?” Nikki asked sheepishly, rubbing his chest in attempt to calm his racing heart. “Yes, but she may be a little groggy. She’s had a long night, and she’s very sleepy,” Nikki nodded his head quickly as the doctor knocked on the door before leading him in. Words could not express the excitement he had to finally be seeing you. “We’ll let you have a minute, man.” Tommy stated as his bandmates found a seat in the waiting room knowing full well that Nikki was going to need some much needed alone time with you. “Look who came to see you,” The doctor smiled gently as Nikki peaked around the corner, seeing you for the first time since he found out about the accident. Even though your body was covered with deep cuts/bruises, your leg was propped up in a heavy cast, and a neck brace was wrapped around your neck you were still the most beautiful person in the world. “Nikki?” The smile met your lips slightly as you overstretched your hand, beckoning for his touch. “Oh, Y/N. Oh, baby.” He was at your side in an instant, hands frantically reaching to touch you, but stopping as he was afraid to hurt you in your condition. By grabbing his hand, however, you reassured him that it was okay to touch you; that you wanted him to. “I told them not to bug you, that you had a concert tonight.” You muttered, eyes drooping close as his lips gingerly pressed against your knuckles. “Fuck the concert,” Nikki breathed, scrutinizing your features carefully as you fought the sleep that would inevitably come. “You are the only thing that matters to me. Not the band, the tour, the music; you. And at the end of the day, over everything, you will always come first. You are my world now,” Nikki breathed, leaning up to kiss your forehead as you smiled weakly at his words. “I love you Nikki Sixx.” Were your last words before falling into a slumber. “And I love you Y/N Sixx.”

-

Mick: Mick was a heavy sleeper, for it was the only time he was really able to escape the constant pain he was perpetually existing in; however, when the sounds of police sirens erupted at twelve in the morning along with the sounds of fists banging against the door, he was up in an instant. “Sir, is this the home of Y/N Y/L/N?” Mick was bewildered; completely and totally muddled as to why the police were here and looking for you of all people. Furthermore, you were the most responsible person he had ever known; the most level headed, sensible person at your age. Then it all came back to him; it was now twelve in the morning and you were supposed to be off work at ten; you were two hours late. “It is, she’s my girlfriend.” Mick stated as he stepped out onto the porch, his heart beginning to swell with concern. “I’m sorry to report that your girlfriend has been in a car accident. Could you come with us please?” Mick himself had always thrived on being a rational person, but upon hearing those words uttered by the police his calm and composed demeanor relinquished in a way that it never had before. “Is she okay? What happened to her?” Mick inquired, the inflation in his voice rising with each word he spoke. The longer the police took to answer him, the more infuriated he got. “Answer me, don’t fuck around with me when it involves my girlfriends life, I need to know what’s going on.” His breath began to come out in ragged huffs as his anxiety spiked to a brand new high. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to throw up, cry, or rage but the longer he waited, he grew closer to doing all three. “Sir, you really need to come with us. We are not authorized to give you the sort of information,” At their words, Mick’s fist was suddenly crashing through the glass on the front door as he dropped to his knees, gasping for air. The pain was unbearable; unthinkable, really. Never in his life had he felt such an excruciating ache; such a debilitating weakness. He was powerless to the thoughts that provoked him, powerless to the idea of you quite possible being gone. Everything he had known to love and to cherish felt like it was gone in an instant, and Mick had suddenly lost the ability to breathe himself. How he was able to make it from the porch to the back of the cop car was unbeknownst to him; the next thing he remembered was arriving to the hospital.

~

“Where her injuries are critical, they are not fatal. Y/N is going to live, but she may not be herself for awhile. Often times large accidents can send victims into a depression as they are not able to do the things they were once able to do immediately. Y/N is going to need you more than ever now; she’s going to rely on you to take care of her.” The doctors words made complete and total sense. Of course Mick was going to be that person for you. You were his everything; his reason for existence. Taking care of you wasn’t going to be hassle or a chore, it was going to be his privilege to. Furthermore, Mick was just relieved that you were alright. Nodding his head in compliance, nevertheless, the doctors admitted Mick access to see you which is what he wanted from the moment the cops showed up at his door. “Sweetheart?” Mick whispered walking over to where you laid. You were groggy, delirious. Mick could tell by the way you responded to him that you were not completely with it. He didn't blame you though; he knew this was to be expected. “What happened to your hand?” You croaked as you raised your shaky hand to point to his bandaged fist. From when he had punched the glass, he had busted his knuckles up pretty bad. Of course that would be the first thing you noticed. Laughing softly, Mick pulled a chair up to where you laid and clasped your hand in his. “Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing.” He watched as you nodded your head, your eyes slipping closed as you sighed. “Mick, I’m so sleepy.” You whispered as you fought the sleep that ultimately overpowered you. “Go to sleep, Y/N. I’m here now, I’m here.” Were the last words you heard before you fell asleep, knowing that nothing could go too wrong as long as Mick was beside you.

-

Tommy: The phone dropped from his hand, as Tommy hung up the phone with your wailing mother. Tommy was sick. Physically, mentally, emotionally sick. Yet, he was disconnected. Never in his life had he felt more alienated from reality, and more in touch with the pits of hell. Furthermore, he was convinced he had died. He had convinced that he had died, and his new form of life would be to co-habitate with the devil himself. Because in a world where his girlfriend could quite possibly be dead while Tommy stayed alive couldn’t be Earth. The only explainable world where Tommy could live without you could only be known as hell itself. What brought him back to reality, nevertheless, was the sudden urge he had to violently vomit, which he did. Collapsing to his knees, Tommy heaved. Snot dripping from his nose, tears flowing chaotically and wildly down his face, Tommy threw up until he had absolutely nothing more to throw back up. After that happened, Tommy curled into a ball on the floor allowing the pain to wash over him as he envisioned the four car pile up you had been apart of only a few hours ago. He could tell by the fear and despondency in your mother's voice that it couldn’t be good; that your condition was critical. The thought was enough to send him to the downward spiral to beat all downward spirals. The thought that you could be gone for the rest of eternity was enough to kill him. He had to see you; he NEEDED to see you, but he couldn’t move. Tommy was absolutely paralyzed and debilitated by the unwavering, excruciating pain. So, he did the only thing he knew to do: he called Nikki.

~

As soon as your mom saw Tommy and Nikki, she sprinted to them, crashing into Tommy’s chest as she let out a mangled sob. “She’s okay, she’s okay.” She blubbered as Tommy tightened his grasp around her and cried into her hair. “Is she awake?” Tommy choked as he pulled away, his palm covering his heart. He had never felt relief quite like he did right now; all he wanted to do was hold you in his arms; to know that you were safe himself. “She is, but she’s a little…” Your mom stopped to laugh as she shook her head. “She’s a little loopy, the anesthesia made her...Y’know.” Your mom grinned knowingly as Tommy chuckled softly. Just thinking of you being high on pain meds made his spirits rise; he couldn’t wait to see how you would act.  “I don’t care. I just want to see her,” Tommy murmured, causing your mom to smile as she nodded her head deliberately, linking her arm with his as she led him to the room, Nikki following shortly behind. As soon as the door opened, Tommy’s heart fluttered at the sound of your soft giggles his face distorting with bliss. Words did not even begin to touch how happy he was to hear that laugh. “Tommy!” Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed when he saw you wince from your sudden jerk forward. “Woah, woah, woah. You gotta be careful, sweetheart. You’re still healing,” Tommy reminded you as he sat next to your bed, leaning over you to peck your lips sweetly. “I forgot how handsome you are, what a lucky lady am I.” Everybody in the room laughed at the words, Tommy shaking his head as his cheeks burned red. “You must think I’m handsome too, look at your rosy cheeks!” Tommy glanced up at Nikki and your mom who were trying to stifle their giggles at your words, but failed miserably once they saw the shock in Tommy’s face. “Not handsome, but undoubtedly beautiful.” Lacing his fingers with yours, you couldn’t help but to smile from his loving grasp. “Now I’M the one turning red!” Fanning your face with your other hand, your own cheeks began to warm from his kind words. Even under anesthesia he still managed to make you blush; that had to be a new high. “AND you brought Sixx! Though I don’t really care that he’s here; I just care about you.” Nikki smiled as he waved at you giving you a small ‘hi y/n’. “Y/N...you have no idea how happy I am that you’re okay. I love you so much,” Suddenly kissing your knuckles, Tommy spoke the words he had been wanting to speak all night: he told you he loved you. “And I love you so much more.” You whispered, laughing when Tommy shook his head and said “Impossible.”

_

Vince: At first, Vince would shut down. The lady from the hospital would still be explaining the situation over the phone, but all he would be able to focus on was the fact that you were in the hospital and you had been in a major car accident. That, and the fact that the last conversation he had with you had been a fight. Vince had already been feeling guilty about the entire thing. Furthermore, you were the type of couple that kept your emotions in check; the type of couple that was able to overlook the small things in order to look at the big picture. Where no relationship was ever completely perfect, Vince couldn’t help but to feel as if your relationship was the closest thing it could be to it. Until today. Not only had you fought, but now you were in the hospital after a major car accident. The last impression you would have had of Vince would have been negative; maybe he would have been the distraction that caused the accident to happen in the first place. The feeling was unbearable, incomprehensible. Letting the phone slip from his fingers, he would stare blankly ahead of him, his body empty. He had gone numb. No physical response, no emotional response, no reaction whatsoever. For a second, his breath slow to a near halt, the tightening in his chest encompassing him completely. Then it happened. Crashing to the floor, Vince would let out a blood curdling scream. The sobs would rip through him like a wildfire, his body trembling from the sadness. Punching the ground repeatedly Vince wouldn’t stop until his knuckles were bruised and bleeding and that was only because Nikki would have to peel him from the ground. Because the entire situation had taken him by surprise he had forgotten that he was in the middle of rehearsal until he saw his bandmates staring at him in  alarm. “It’s Y/N. She was in accident and it’s my fault,” Vince was hyperventilating in between his words, he doubted that his friends even were able to make it out. Furthermore, he was falling apart; he was having the biggest anxiety attack he had ever had in his life. “Where is she?” Mick asked calmly, placing his hands on Vince’s shoulders, snapping him out of his panic. It was then when Vince realized he needed to see you; good, bad, or otherwise.

~

“I talked to the doctor. Y/N is okay, but she’s pretty fucked up in a physical sense. She broke both her legs, fractured her wrist and has some pretty serious whiplash, but she’s awake. She’s also been asking for you, man.” Vince was relieved that Nikki had taken the initiative to talk to the doctor. Furthermore, he had completely shut down since the very first phone call. He went from going numb, to going completely ballistic, to slipping straight into a debilitating depression. Due to his unpredictable actions, there was no telling how Vince would respond to what the doctor was going to say: it was the obvious choice to let Nikki speak to the doctor first. “So, she’s really okay?” The tears were already welling in his eyes, from the sheer happiness. “Yes, she’s going to be okay. And she wants to see you, so you better get in there.” Vince didn’t know what else to say, all he could do was hug Nikki with all the force he could possibly muster. “You have no idea how much that just meant to me,” he murmured, as Nikki clapped him on the back hugging him tightly. “I love you, man.” Nikki said as Vince nodded in response, wiping his nose with the back of his hand as he sniffled. Even though he was nervous to see you, he couldn’t deny how excited he was to see you; he just hoped you still weren’t mad from the fight. Bracing himself, Vince squared his shoulders, taking a deep breath before opening the door to your room. “Y/N?” Vince murmured, his voice low when he entered the room. “I really wish you didn’t have to see me like this; I look awful.” Your voice was hoarse and scratchy, but it was still the most beautiful noise he had ever heard. “You could never look awful,” Vince whispered, finally sitting next to you sucking in a sharp breath at your appearance. You were bruised from head to toe, hair disheveled, eyes dark from exhaustion. Truthfully you looked awful, but not in a sense that made you anything less than beautiful; awful because you were tired and hurt. “I’m sorry we fought today,” You whispered, reaching your hand out to grasp Vince’s hand firmly. “It doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that you are safe and okay,” Leaning up to kiss you, the past became the past.

[highfivecalum]

Love and Communication {CH} 2

Previous Chapters: One

✧✧✧

When Lena woke up the next morning, her head was pounding and she didn’t recognize the light beige curtains that were absolutely not doing a good job at keeping out the sun. She groaned and rolled over, bumping into a body in the process, and fully opened her eyes. When she saw Calum laying there naked, eyes closed and mouth parted, with his newly dyed hair a mess everywhere she bit her lip to stop the smile from taking over her face.

They were drunk last night, but not drunk enough to forget or regret what happened. Lena remembered every single detail from the night before. The kiss at the bar that led them walking down the street hand in hand to Calum’s apartment, led them to the kitchen where Lena sat on top of the counter with Calum’s face between her thighs, and led them to Calum’s bedroom where he made Lena feel better than she had ever felt before.

It was as if Calum could feel her eyes on him as he opened his slowly, the sun nearly blinding him, but he kept his eyes open. He couldn’t believe what had had happened. He had wanted that to happen for four years, since the day he and Lena found out both of their favorite bands were Green Day and Motley Crue. “Good mornin’.” Calum voice was deep and raspy and Lena found herself entranced by it.

She laid on her stomach, arms crossed over the pillow she used the night before, with her head resting atop on them. “Morning.” She mumbled tiredly. She wasn’t sure what would come of this, if it was just a drunken hookup or if it meant something more. In her mind it felt like so much more, but she couldn’t be sure. When she knew Calum before, she knew he wasn’t the relationship type, but he could have changed in the two years they weren’t friends. She hadn’t a clue.

“Sleep well?” His fingertip lightly trailed up and down her spine and his lips left light kisses on her bare back. At that point she knew it wasn’t just a drunken hook up, there was way more to it. There were feelings, memories, there was a history there. When Lena hummed quietly, Calum smiled. She was cute when she was tired, Calum thought, but he couldn’t spend all morning admiring her sleepy state. It was when her stomach grumbled that he was forcing himself out of bed. “Want breakfast?”

Lena opened one eye and watched Calum pull a pair of boxers up his legs and nothing else. Calum handed her her underwear from the night before and one of his shirts that was a little bit too big on him, knowing it would fit her like a dress. “Breakfast sounds nice.” Lena spoke as she got up to get dressed.

“Gonna get it started. There’s a toothbrush in the drawer in the bathroom you can use. Freshen up, yeah?” Calum sent her a soft smile before shuffling to the kitchen to feed Duke and start on their breakfast. If Calum’s memory served him well, he knew that Lena loved chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream on top and he prayed he had all of the right ingredients.

Lena relieved herself, washed her hands, brushed her teeth, and cleaned up the makeup that was smeared under her eyes before joining Calum in the kitchen. She stole a pair of socks from him and he grinned at the sight of her with bedhead in nothing but his t-shirt and fuzzy socks Mali had left at his apartment years ago.

“All good?”

“Fantastic,” Lena wrapped her arms around Calum from behind and rested her head on his back. She wasn’t sure if it was overstepping boundaries, but after last night, what boundaries were really left? They already did the most intimate thing they could have done. Calum shivered at the coldness of Lena’s hands from just washing them, but loved the way her hands felt on him.

He had watched her and Luke over the years holding each other and kissing each other and he was jealous, thinking it was just because he wanted a girlfriend or because of the small crush he had on her, but he didn’t realize how deep his feelings ran for her until now. Until he was in the position Luke was once in. The one Luke fucked up beyond belief. The one Calum would never dare fuck up.

Lena placed a light kiss on Calum’s bareback before pulling away. “Need help with anything?”

“Nope. You just sit your pretty ass down.” Calum motioned to the table in the corner of the small kitchen and Lena laughed, but did as she was told. Lena sat there contently, watching Calum cook and listening to him hum along to whatever song was stuck in his head. He was effortlessly beautiful, she thought. She couldn’t believe she didn’t see it sooner. “Breakfast,” Calum set her plate in front of her, knocking her out of her daydream of him and sat down next to her. “Is served.”

“Chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream? This is my favorite!” Lena’s face lit up and she grinned happily. Calum could have stared at her smile all fucking day if he could have.

“I know.” Calum laughed. He watched her happily drench her pancakes in syrup and scrunched his nose up at house much sweetness was on one plate. He chose to keep his pancakes dry, dipping them in the puddle he created on the side of his plate. “I remembered.”

“Really? You did?” Lena couldn’t help but smile, surprised that Calum had remembered such a small detail about her. She adored him for that.

“Course I did. Never forgot.” Calum winked.

They ate in a peaceful silence and it wasn’t until they were done doing the dishes and sitting on the couch together did last night come up. Both of them were dreading the conversation, not knowing what the other was thinking or going to say about it, but they knew it needed to be said.

“Last night wasn’t just sex to me, Lena.” Calum finally spoke. He watched Lena pet Duke, who had found home on her lap, and nervously licked his lips. He didn’t want to get rejected, but he wanted to be honest and wanted her to know his feelings. He didn’t want to be used. He was finally being honest about his feelings for her. “And if it was for you then-”

“It wasn’t,” Lena quickly shut him up. “It wasn’t, Calum. But it’s just…”

“Luke.” Calum answered for her. His lips were pursed and eyebrows were drawn together in thought. Why did Luke matter so much? They had broken up two years ago and he was sure Luke had moved on. For Christ’s sake, Luke was the one who broke up with her. “Why does he matter so much?”

“He’s your best friend, Calum!” Lena laughed incredulously. “And he’s my ex-boyfriend. We loved each other once. He wouldn’t be okay with this.”

“Who cares?” Calum’s voice wasn't a whisper anymore. He wasn’t scared to disturb the peaceful bubble they were in anymore. He wanted her and he didn’t give a fuck about if Luke would or wouldn’t be okay with it. “Luke hasn’t called me back in months, Lena! And he broke your heart. You shouldn’t care about him anymore.”

“He’s the first guy I ever loved, Calum. I’ll always care about him. I don’t love him anymore, but he’ll always hold a special place in my heart and I just-” Lena shook her head. “He wouldn’t be okay with this. What happens if he finds out?”

“He doesn’t live here. Hasn’t visited since he moved away.” Calum reminded her. “Ash and Michael are still here, but he’s not, and they won’t tell him. I want you, Lena. I always have wanted you and I don’t think I’m ever gonna stop wantin’ you.” Their hands were laced together again and it calmed Lena down, soothed her, and it felt right. “I know you don’t think this is a good idea, know you’re worryin’ about Luke, but just give it a chance, will you?”

More than anything, especially after last night, Lena wanted to. She wanted to give it and give Calum a chance, but she felt like, in some way, she was betraying Luke. Why? She didn’t know. He was the one who betrayed her; broke her heart into a million pieces, and Calum; moved away and forgot about him. So why the fuck was she so worried about what he would think?

She would never admit it, but even while she was with Luke, she always felt a connection with Calum. She tried to tell herself it was just how well they got along, how much they had in common, how nice he was to her, but it was more than that. It always was more than that. It was lingering touches; hugs that were a little bit too long, high fives that turned into hand holding for a few seconds, his arm around her shoulder in pictures. It was always something.

“You can’t tell me you don’t feel it, too. You can’t tell me you didn’t feel it even when you and Luke were together and you and I were just friends. There’s always been something there that we just haven’t been able to get to.”

Calum was right and Lena knew it. There was no way she could tell him he was wrong, because she knew damn well that if it weren’t for Luke there would have been at least something between her and Calum, so she wasn’t surprised when she found herself nodding her head.

“Okay,” Lena finally breathed out. “I’ll give it a chance.”

Instead of fighting it like she was planning to do, like she always did before, Lena finally gave in.

✧✧✧

“You’ll never believe who I ran into on Saturday,” Calum slid into the booth next to Michael and across from Ashton, not bothering with so much as a hello. Ashton and Michael looked at him expectantly, not bothering to guess. “Lena.”

“Lena?” Ashton repeated. “Lena Clements?”

Calum nodded his head, trying not to smile at the thought of Saturday night and how good she felt and tasted. How after all the years of secretly crushing, and unknowingly falling in love with her, it finally happened. He finally could feel something for her without feeling guilty about it. Without having to worry about Luke finding out.

“And? What happened? How is she?” Michael pressed. He and Ashton were close with her as well, not as close as friends as Calum, but close nonetheless.

“She’s good.” Calum smiled. His internal between on whether or not to tell the guys about what happened with her was the only thing he could think about. He was scared of how they would react to the news, he knew they would say the same thing as Lena; something about Luke and his feelings, and he didn’t want to hear it. But he couldn’t keep it in any longer. He had to tell someone. “We met up that night and got a drink.”

“And?” Ashton cocked an eyebrow. “How did that go?”

“It, uh, it went well.” Calum cleared his throat and instantly broke eye contact with Ashton, who knew him better than anybody, and turned his attention to the menu in front of him even though he already knew exactly what he was going to get.

“Well?” Michael spoke slowly. “What does well mean?”

“We had a few drinks and caught up and, well, we-“

“You slept with her,” Ashton stayed blandly and Michael nearly spit out his water. It was scary how well Ashton knew Calum and could nearly read his thoughts. Just by the look on Calum’s face and the way he was nervously stumbling over his words, Ashton knew something was up.

“What?” Michael squealed.

“Please tell me you didn’t.”  Ashton shook his head. Ashton always knew about Calum’s crush on Lena even without Calum telling him. Calum didn’t have to tell him, in Ashton’s eyes, it was obvious. When Calum didn’t say anything, Ashton groaned. “Calum, Luke is your best friend and Lena is his ex-girlfriend! You can’t do that.”

“Luke hasn’t spoken to any of us in months, Ash. I barely consider him a friend anymore let alone my best friend. And so what? They broke up years ago! And he broke up with her, he shouldn’t care about what or who she doing.”

“He’ll care if it’s with somebody that he once considered his brother, Calum.” Ashton sighed heavily. Ashton never thought that Calum would actually make good on his feelings towards Lena. He hoped he would just hide them away like he had done before. “That can’t ever happen again and Luke can’t ever know.”

“We’re going on a date tomorrow night.” Calum blurted out. He meant to keep that part a secret, not wanting anybody to know about them actually trying to be together until they knew it would work out. “She likes me too, Ash. She wants to be with me. Why am I not allowed to be happy?”

“You are allowed, Cal.” Michael assured him.

“Just not with her.” Ashton butted in, reminding him again that Lena was his best friends ex and that she was off limits, they agreed upon that when Luke and Lena broke up. Calum promised Luke he had no interest in her, that they were just friends, and Calum felt bad about lying.

He broke a promise that he hadn’t meant to keep, but he’ll be damned if Luke tried to stop him.

✧✧✧

Taglist: @wrappedaroundcal @cosmocalum @roselukes @kinglyhood @cantbehandled-ever @hereforlukescruff @astroashtonio @monsteramongmikey @5secsofsomewhere@gosh-im-short @emma070900 @youmaycallmemrshemmings@grittyisathot @cakesunflower @alotof1dlove @calumsmermaid @gorgeouslygrace @asht0ns-world @cantbehandled-ever @singt0mecalum @lockthisheartinchains @cheyenne-in-wonderland @youmaycallmemrshemmings @gosh-im-short @babyurart 

[motleycrueimagine]

Horror Movie - Nikki Sixx One Shot

Word count: 789

Paing: NikkixOC

Warinngs: Slight mention of drugs and alcohol, angst and a lot of fluff...

A/N: Okay so hope you like it, as usual I’m open to requests.

The song Ada sings is Oceans by Seafret which I honestly love, it fitted perfectly so… go listen to it while reading if you like.

Also a huge thank you to @samanthadegaro

Ada was sitting on the terrace sofa, wrapped around the white blanket she had stolen from the bed. A light breeze blew through her straight blonde hair. She was lightly strumming the strings of her guitar, trying to make as little noise as possible.It must have been three or four in the morning and she seemed to be  the only one awake.

“It feels like..” She fixed her fingers on the strings not happy of how the sound had turned out “It feels like there’s oceans between me and you” She sang softly “Once again.. We hide our emotions under the surface and tryin’ to pretend..” She stopped again to write something down on her notebook, then she started again. she kept singing even when she felt a gentle hand stroking her hair from behind. She looked up finding Nikki with a slight smile and his sleepy face. She then stopped laying her head against his hand.

“Are you having another bad night?” He asked as he knew her struggles with insomnia. She shook her head in denial. He walked past the sofa and sit on the wicker chair.

“I was tossing and turning all night long, I just couldn’t sleep” she explained sliding the guitar on the floor. It was only half truth, but Nikki did not need to know what was going on in her head.

“You could have woke me up”  he stated while fixing the sheets around his waist. She smirked in response “You collapsed in the club, I had to get help from security to get you to bed.”

The whole band was enjoying their week off in a friend’s penthouse at the Bahamas, the only difference from a standard tour day was that they could for once get wasted without the worry of not being able to perform.

Ada outstretched her legs laying ‘em on Nikkis lap. “I’m sorry about that” he sounded sincere, but she already knew that nothing would have changed. Is not that she did not approve his lifestyle, she enjoyed partying just as much as he did, she just wished to spend some more time alone with him aside from bedtime.

“I’m waiting for room service to be available, I need a mimosa…” She yawned scratching her eyes as a baby.

“You look exhausted baby, come over here” Nikki stopped caressing her legs just to oper up his arms. She stood up joining him to get some cuddles, letting down all her defences.

“You should quit zombie dust for a while, you can’t stay awake forever” He whispered rocking her lightly.

“It’s just easier this way.” She exhaled while tracking some random draws on Nikki’s bare chest. He kept holding her tight into his arms. He was feeling frustrated about the whole situation, he wanted her to feel good.

“I love you Nikki.” His heart melted every time he heard those three words coming out of her mouth. “I know I never say it. But I really do. And I want to be happy, I’m trying my best to overcome all of this, even when the only thing I want is to give up ” He kissed her forehead knowing how hard she found expressing her feelings.

“We’re broken toys, love. I’m not going anywhere, not without you. It doesn’t matter how long it will take.” He assured. “We are not a fairytale, we are a fucking horror story, and luckily for us we are not the cheerleader and the athlete… we have a lot of chances to survive till the end of the movie. We just have to fight a little bit more.” Nikki felt powerless, but he refused to surrender. She had been there for him the whole time she was the only one who understood his struggles and now it was his time to be there for her.

“I don’t want you to sacrifice anything because of me.” She was afraid of messing things up. Now that Nikki had found a sort of emotional balance - thanks to her too- she was losing hers.

He lifted her face just enough to look into her eyes. “I don’t want you to worry about that right now. There is no me without you, and there is no Motley Crue without me.” He made her smile slightly and roll her eyes “You’re so full of yourself, Sixx”

“Well, at least my ego makes you smile” He pressed gently his lips against hers. “Let me take you to bed, I’ll cuddle you until you fall asleep, and if you still can’t we’ll surely find some interesting activities to keep you busy till morning.” He assured as he stood holding her like a princess ready to take her to their love nest.

[cruesixxlover1991]

Slice Of Your Pie

Ch. 1 Offer Of A Lifetime

A/N: So, I’ve been posting this story on wattpad for a while now and I’m thirteen chapters in and I’ve been getting a decent response there so I figured I’d post it here as well to see how you guys like it. I’m really proud of this story and hope you guys enjoy it as well. Feedback is welcome and encouraged. I’ll try posting a chapter a day until I have you guys caught up to current and then it will become weekly updates after that. If you want to be added to the taglist for this story, send me an ask. This story will contain mature content through out so 18+ only please. Without further ado, here we go you guys

Words: 2.4k

Triggers: Mentions of drug use and over dose

1983

"Alannah!" I yelled to my daughter as I walked into the living room still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I heard the pitter patter of her little feet as she ran from her bedroom to the living room of our tiny two bedroom apartment. I looked down at her as she brushed blonde curls out of her sleepy face so she could look up at me, "Yes mommy?" she said with sleepy undertone to her voice still. "It's time to get ready for school little bug." I say as I walk towards our kitchen to start the coffee pot. Alannah runs back to her room to begin getting dressed and ready for the day. I walk back to my own bedroom and open my closet and pull out my work uniform. I worked at the local Denny's to make ends meet, it wasn't the greatest job in the world but it paid the bills. I pull my my work uniform on and walk to my vanity and begin brushing my hair until my wavy blonde tresses are silky smooth, grab a hair tie of my vanity table and put my hair in my signature ponytail. I then grab my makeup and begin to apply my signature winged eyeliner, light blush, mascara, and to top of the look dark red lipstick. I look at my reflection in the mirror and smile before turning around and exiting my bedroom once again. I walked back to the living room to see Alannah sitting on the floor in from the tv watching her morning cartoons, her backpack on the floor next to her. I ruffle her hair as I walk past her to the kitchen to get my morning cup of coffee. I grab a mug out of the cupboard above the sink and walk to the coffe put and pour myself a cup. I add cream and sugar and than proceed to grab a bowl and fill it with Frosted Flakes and milk and walk back out to the living room I set the bowl of cereal on the coffee table and look over at Alannah, "Baby come eat your breakfast. We've got to leave soon to get you to school." She gets up from the floor and sits at the coffee table and begins eating her breakfast. She finishes up and takes her bowl to the sink, rinsing it out before placing it in the sink. she runs back to me with a smile on her face "Mommy it's time to go!" she says excitedly running to grab her backpack and running towards the door. I grab my keys off the side table by the coach, grab my purse, and we head out the door.

We pile into my car and head out. I turn on the radio to the local rock station as we wait at a red light, the sounds of Motley Crue's "Shout At The Devil" blaring through the speakers. I smile to myself as I begin singing along to the radio:

Shout shout shout

Shout shout shout

It shout at the devil

He's the wolf screaming lonely in the night

He's the blood stain the stage

He's the tear in your eye

Been tempted by his lie

He's the knife in your back, he's rage

He's the razor to the knife

Oh lonely is our lives

My heads spinnin' round and round

But in seasons of wither

We'll stand and deliver

Be strong and laugh and

Shout shout shout

Shout at the devil

Shout shout shout

He'll be the love in your eyes

He'll be the blood between your thighs

And then have you cry for more

He'll put your strength to the test

He'll put the thrill back in death

Sure you've heard it all before

He'll be the risk in the kiss

Might be anger on your lips

Might run scared for the door

But in seasons of wither

We'll stand and deliver

Be strong and laugh and

Shout shout shout

Shout at the devil

Shout shout shout

Shout at the devil

He's the wolf screaming lonely in the night

He's the blood stain the stage

He's the tear in your eye

Been tempted by his lie

He's the knife in your back, he's rage

He's the razor to the knife

Oh lonely is our lives

My heads spinnin' round and round

But in seasons of wither

We'll stand and deliver

Be strong and laugh and

Shout shout shout

Shout at the devil

Shout shout shout

Shout at the devil

Shout shout shout

Shout at the devil

Shout shout shout

Shout at the devil

Shout shout shout

Shout at the devil

Shout shout shout

Shout at the devil

Shout shout shout

Shout shout shout"

Shout shout shout

Shout shout shout

Shout shout shout

Shout shout shout

I grinned to myself as the song ended, thinking of my uncle Mick Mars as we pulled up to Alannah's school. I park by the front entrance and Alannah jumps out of the car and comes around to the driver's side, I open my door and she jumps into my arms giving me a big hug and says " I love you so much mommy!" I kiss the top of her beautiful head and place her back on the ground, "I love you bigger than the sky and deeper than all the oceans in the world. Always and forever." She smiles and runs into the main entrance and disappears from my sight. I then began my commute to work, rocking out to the radio on the way.

I pull up to the parking lot outside Denny's, which is down the street from the infamous Whisky A Go Go. I feel a pang in my heart anytime i think of it, reminding me of my days with The She-Wolves. my former band. I missed the call of the stage so much but I had yet to find another band since Marie's tragic heroin overdose ended The She-Wolves. . I shake my head and walk through the door to work to start yet another mindless shift of waiting on assholes and punks. Ugh, my job really does suck some days. I made my way behind the counter, grabbed my writing pad, and headed towards my section. Hopefully today wouldn't be as bad as yesterday, I had one of the local punks spill an entire bowl of chilli on me and let's just say, those ARE NOT easy stains to get out of your uniform. I make my rounds in my section, getting orders and bringing them out. This continued on until the end of my shift at 3. I headed out the door to my car and made my way to pick up Alannah from school. I pull up in front of her school ten minutes later, her standing there waiting for me in our usual pick up spot. She runs to the car and jumps in, fastening her seat belt as I begin to pull out of the school parking. She than begins to giggle and tell me all about her day at school, me laughing along with her as she gushes about the drawing she made during her art class that day.

Before we know it, we pull into the parking lot of our apartment complex and start climbing up the stairs to our apartment. We walk through the door and Alannah goes to her room to start working on her homework. She is hands down the best daughter I could have ever asked for. I set my keys down on the side table in their usual spot and head to the kitchen and pull out hamburger to begin making meatloaf for our dinner. I grab the rest of the ingredients, combine them together and preheat the over and wait. Once the over is preheated, I put the meatloaf in the over and set a timer for it. Alannah comes running out of her bedroom and shows me her completed homework. I smile and tell her to go watch her shows until dimmer is ready. I sit down on the couch next to her and watch her cartoons with her until I hear the timer go signalling that our dinner was ready. I go into the kitchen, pull out the meatloaf and begin pulling out plates and silverware. I set a timer for five minutes to give the meatloaf tie to cool off. Once the timer goes off again, I serve us both our portions of meatloaf with mashed potatoes and gravy and set our plates on the coffee table in the kitchen. We set together at the coffee enjoying our diner as we watch our shows. Once dinner is finished, I was the dishes and put them away. I pull my guitar out and begin to play a few riffs watching as Alannah danced joyfully around the living room, jamming out to the guitar without a care in the world. After about an hour of playing I put the guitar away and let Alannah know it's time to get ready for bed. She goes to her room and changes into her pajamas and then goes to the bathroom and brushes her teeth and face. I follow her to her bedroom and help her get nice and tucked in for the night. She looks up at me and asks if I would sing her her favorite song. I grin, grab my guitar and proceed to start singing On With The Show, her favorite Motley song:

Frankie died just the other night

Some say it was suicide

But we know

How the story goes

With his six string knife

And his street wise pride

The boy was a man before his time

And she knew

All their dreams would come true

But you see, Frankie was fast

Too fast to know

He wouldn't go slow

Until his lethal dose

And she knows

He'll finally come too close

Well, on with the show

Going on with the show

Come on baby

No, no, no

Oh my, my, my

He was bad

He was never good

But one thing that he understood

And she knew

All those lies would come true

The time has come and

He's paid his dues

Suzie finally got the news

She always knew

This day would come soon

He was stopped on a dime

With a switchblade knife

Some damn punk went and

Took Frankie's life

And she knew

She'd have to pull through

Broken down, with his broken dreams

With a wink of an eye

Said, "Suzy, listen to me

You must go

On with the show"

Go on with the show

Come on baby

No no no

Oh my my my

Oh baby

After I finished playing the song, I look down and see Alannah yawn and begin to rub her eyes from exhaustion. I gently kiss her on the head and tell her to have sweet dreams until the morning. I walk back out to the living room and turn the tv back on and turn it to MTV. I begin jamming ot to music videos and relaxing, letting the stress of the day wash away. About 2 hours later, I hear the phone ring in the kitchen. I looked at the time and wondered who could be calling me so late. I answer the phone and am greeted by the voice of my uncle mick on the other side, "Hey kiddo how's it going?" He asks with a chuckle in his voice. "Besides being stuck at that deadbeat diner, I'm doing just fine" I respond with a note of sadness in my voice. "Well Ronnie girl that is exactly why I'm calling you." Uncle Mick says with a very serious tone in his voice, "What do you mean Uncle Mick?" I asked confused. "You better sit down for this one kiddo," I immediately sit on my counter, "So, the reps at Elektra are wanting us to find a rhythm guitarist to hep fine tune our sound for the upcoming U.S. Festival to promote Shout At The Devil and I want you to join us. You're the best rhythm guitarist I know because well not to sound conceited but you DID learn how to play from me. You don't have to answer right away. I know it's a lot to take in but you have no idea how much this would mean to me and the rest of the band. You don't have to stress about Alannah, they are aware and are willing to hire nannies to help with her while we perform. Please, please say you'll do it!" I sat there in absolute shock having no idea what to say. I couldn't believe that he just offered to have me join them on the U.S Festival as their rhythm guitarist!!!! This was my absolute dream to be a rock star and perform in front of an audience once again!!! "Ronnie? Are you still there?" Uncle Mick asks. "Yes! Yes, I am." I say with a sheepish grin on my face that I know he can't see. He laughs and says "So, what do you say Ronnie girl?j You ready to rock and roll with your uncle?" I sit there and make him wait a second before answering, "Of course I'll fucking do it!!!!! Just tell me when and where to be and I'll fucking be there, guitar and Alannah in hand!!!!" He chuckles and hollers to the rest of the band "She said yes boys!!!! We're all set!!!" I hear the others holler in excitement in the background. I giggle as I hear them, my heart beating with excitement. Uncle Mick gets back on the phone, "So, hoe does meeting at 5 tomorrow sound to you? That way you can meet our manager, Doc, and get to meet the rest of the guys as well. They're all very excited to meet you." I giggle and ask him where we are meeting tomorrow so I know where to be. He gives the address to the studio, tells me he loves me and that he'll see me tomorrow. I hang up the phone and squeal in delight. I haven't been this excited since the She-Wolves originally got together. I couldn't believe my luck either. I'd always dreamed of playing with y uncle and now I was finally going to get to do it. I had no idea when I woke up this morning that I would be getting the opportunity of a lifetime.

[hazza-bear-care]

Babie Crue (5/?)

Description: After everything that happened with Roxy, Cam attempts to freeze Tommy out of her life. Nikki tries to explain how bad of an idea that is, but Cam won’t listen. In an attempt to make Cam and Tommy open up to each other, the rest of the band lock them in a closet Seven Minutes in Heaven style. 

~~~~~~~

The bus pulled over at a gas station. As the driver got up to exit, so did Roxy. She attempted to buy some sort of sympathy by grabbing her stuff as slowly as she could while looking over her shoulders with a pitiful excuse for puppy-dog eyes. No one would look at her. Nikki’s attention was held by Grace, who babbled happily as the bassist bounced her on his knees. Vince was still in the back of the bus comforting Cam, Mick was suddenly occupied in the nothingness going on outside, and Tommy was glaring at Roxy as she moved gingerly. When she finally gathered the minimal stuff she had: a simple weekender bag overflowing with skanky clothes, no underwear, enough lipstick to choke a medium sized dog, and her purse, Roxy turned one last time to look over her shoulder. This time, Mick was looking directly at her. Roxy couldn’t help but feel slightly hopeful about what was possibly going to come out of the guitarist’s mouth, but her hope was quickly shattered as Mick raised his hand, his middle finger sticking straight up. 

“See ya later!” Mick exclaimed, a slight smile on his face. Nikki couldn’t help but let out a slight chuckle as Roxy slammed the door closed behind her. Shortly after Tommy’s latest fling left, Vince emerged from the back of the bus. 

“Is she still mad?” Nikki asked as the singer scooped Grace out of his lap and sat next to Mick 

“Oh she’s furious but I talked her into taking a nap with the promise that we’d look after Gracie. She also made me promise not to use her as chick bait, at least for tonight.” Everyone except Tommy laughed. The drummer’s mind was still reeling from the slap that Cam shot across his face and for the life of him, he couldn’t understand what had hurt Cam so much. Tommy had never laid a hand on a woman, and he never would again. He knew he couldn’t blame it on the half pound of coke he had snorted, and he couldn’t blame it on Roxy (even though the bitch got what she deserved). 

“Tommy!” Vince yelled, snapping the drummer out of his thoughts. “Did you hear what I said man?”

“No, man. Didn’t catch it, sorry.” Tommy muttered, turning his attention back to the world blurring past his window. 

“I asked you how your shoulder and face were. Need to go to the hospital or something?” Vince repeated, slight worry etched onto his face. Tommy knew Vince was just as fucked up as the rest of them were, yet when the situation called for it, he could sober up faster than either of them. 

“I’m fine, Vinnie. Just peachy.” Tommy spat back to the singer. In fact, he wasn’t okay: he just got stabbed in the fucking shoulder and slapped within the last half hour. His shoulder was killing and his mind was racing a million miles a minute in a futile attempt to figure out his next plan of action. Deciding to pass the time the best way he knew, Tommy closed his eyes to try to get a few hours of peace.

~~~~~~~

“Hey, Vinnie. Wow you got her to sleep?! You’re pretty good with a baby.” Cam remarked as she walked into the common area, gawking at Vince’s superpower.

“Better than Nikki?” Vince asked, a cheeky smile spreading across his face as Nikki threw a crumpled piece of paper towards the singer. 

“Mmm, not quite, but definitely better than Ozzy.” Cam smiled, taking a seat next to Nikki. 

“You good?” The bassist asked, trying his best to keep a sleeping Tommy out of the conversation.

“No, but I will be. Thanks, Sixx. How is he?” Cam asked, nodding her head in the direction of Tommy.

“Not much better. Keeps zoning out. Passed out not too long ago, actually.” Mick explained, strumming some chords onto his leather pants. 

“Do you think, when you forgive him of course, you’ll ever tell him how you feel?” Nikki questioned. 

“W-what do you mean, Nikki?” Cam stuttered. 

“Come on! Everyone can see that you’re in love with him!”

“Everyone except Tommy, apparently.” What they were saying was true: Cam was head over heels for her drummer best friend. When she wasn’t on the bus, she opted to sleep in Tommy’s old Pink Floyd shirt, his scent extracted from it long ago. She was eternally grateful for everything he and his family had done for her and Grace over the past months, but after today, Cam wasn’t going to risk falling in love again. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him, guys. Today was pretty intense, especially for Roxy. Vince, you saw my freak out; do you think I should forgive him?” Cam questioned, hoping the singer would back her on this. 

“I think you should. We both have known the guy since high school, and if I remember correctly, you’ve forgiven him for a lot worse than something like this.” Cam rolled her eyes. 

“Even with a single beer in your systems, you’ve all stopped thinking rationally. I mean coke is a hell of a drug, but at least you guys would see both sides of the story before jumping to conclusions! Gimme my kid, Vince.” Cam ordered angrily, standing from her seat.

“No, Cam. Grace is fine where she is! Sit down and let’s talk about this, okay?” Mick ordered causing everyone to jump. Cam slowly sat back down and stared at her hands. Mick rarely yelled at anyone, let alone when Grace was around. 

“He deserves to know Cam. It’s your responsibility, but if you don’t tell him, we will.” Cam nodded as everyone tried to explain. 

“I deserve to know what?” Tommy’s sleepy voice rasped from behind everyone, Cam jumping at the sound of it. 

“Nothing, Tommy. You don’t deserve to know anything.” Cam spat, removing herself from the stressful situation. She didn’t want to be anywhere near Tommy, but the small confines of the bus physically made that dream impossible. Cam settled on the floor, her back against the door as her fingers went through her hair in frustration. 

“What the fuck was that about?” Tommy asked after Cam had once again isolated herself from the band. 

“Nothing. Just give her some time and she should come around soon.” Mick explained gruffly while taking a swig of his vodka. Stupidly, Tommy decided to trust that answer.

 ~~~~~~~

When the bus finally stopped, Tommy was the first person off. Nikki and Vince followed, leaving Mick to help Cam gather Grace’s toys and books that barely occupied the baby on long road trips. 

“I agree with Vince, ya know. I strongly believe you should talk to Tommy. Not about your feelings, but about what happened between him and Roxy. He needs a friend to be there for him.” Mick offered as he bounced Grace in his arms, watching as Cam packed everything into a spare backpack. She couldn't help but roll her eyes, already tired of everyone’s advice. 

“Mick, you don’t understand! I’ve trusted and will continue to trust Tommy with not just my life, but Gracie’s as well. But somewhere I have to draw the line. He fucking punched her, Mick! You were there! And you’re still choosing to defend him! Gimme my kid and leave me alone for the rest of the night. All of you!” Mick quickly but gently handed Grace off to her mother and the pair stomped off the bus. Cam attempted to avoid the roadies who were unpacking suitcases and throwing them towards a luggage cart, but she knew that if she waited for her luggage, she’ d have to talk to Doc. She really didn’t want to do that tonight. 

“Randy, could you hand me my suitcase? I don’t really want to associate with anyone in or responsible for Motley Crue more than I have to.” Cam explained. 

“Sure thing, sweets. What happened?” Randy asked, digging around the bottom of the bus for the only pink suitcase amongst a sea of black. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, right now. I’ll tell you some other time, okay?” Randy simply nodded and handed over the suitcase. Cam shot him a grateful smile as she adjusted Grace on her hip and hoisted the suitcase into her hands. She made her way to the hotel and almost instantly bumped into Doc. 

“I heard what happened. Here’s your key.” Doc handed Cam the key to her room and escorted her to the elevator. 

“Am I on the same floor as them?” Cam asked sadly as they waited for the elevator to reach the lobby. 

“Only because it was already paid for, Cam. If this fight had happened before we had situated anything, you better believe you and Grace would be on a different floor.” Doc explained. Cam nodded as a farewell and stepped into the elevator, tears welled in her eyes. She didn’t want to be mad, especially at her best friends, but they were getting into something they couldn’t begin to wrap their minds around. 

~~~~~~~

As Cam got ready for the show, mostly because her job revolved around it, she mentally prepared for the showdown that awaited her. Grace sat in front of her mom on the bathroom counter, a makeup brush in her chubby hands. Cam smiled as she continued to get ready, a single hand resting on Grace’s stomach to ensure her safety. A loud knock on her door caused both mother and daughter to jump, the sound unexpected. Cam hoisted Grace to her hip and went to answer the door, only to be met with Nikki and Vince.

“Nikki? Vince? Why aren’t you at the venue? Soundcheck should be starting soon.” Cam questioned. In the blink of an eye, Grace was snatched out of Cam’s arms as the mother was thrown over Nikki’s shoulder. Cam screamed and threshed in Nikki’s grasp, but the bassist wouldn’t budge. They stopped at a janitor’s closet and shoved the young mother into the cramped area, locking the door before she could escape. 

“This isn’t fucking funny, guys! Let me out!” Cam whined through the door. 

“No! Everyone told you not to avoid Tommy, but you did it anyway. Now you both don’t leave until some apologizing’s been done!”

“Both?” Cam questioned softly, turning to meet Tommy, the drummer slumped against some shelves. 

“They got you too, huh?” Tommy asked, silently chuckling. Cam nodded and looked at her shoes, which unfortunately were her fuzzy bunny slippers. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freeze you out and avoid you. You’re just so infuriating sometimes; and when you slapped Roxy, I thought you were going to come after me next. I just got away from that life, Tommy. I don't want to go through that again.” As Cam spoke, tears fell from her eyes. She slid down the door and sobbed into her hands. Tommy’s heart shattered. 

“No, baby. I’m the one who should be sorry. I wanted to save you; I promised I would. The way you looked at me after you dealt with Roxy, I thought you’d never talk to me again, let alone look at me. I thought you and Gracie would be on the next plane back to LA to live with my parents again. I don’t want to lose you...either of you.” Tommy pulled Cam into his lap as she cried harder at his words. She had felt so worthless during her time with Dev, and hearing all the words Tommy was saying made her feel like the queen she deserved to be.  

“I love you, Cam.” Tommy kissed her hairline as Cam gripped him tighter. 

“I love you too, Tommy.” He adjusted her face to where he could see it and he swiped his thumbs under Cam’s eyes, wiping away her tears and runny mascara. Her eyes fluttered closed at Tommy’s touch, which made the drummer’s next action easier.  

He closed the space between them with a kiss. While not very hard or urgent, Tommy poured all of his emotions into it, his hands gripping Cam’s face gently. Cam kissed back, heart pounding against her chest. When they pulled away, they both stared into each other’s eyes and smiled, Tommy’s thumbs rubbing Cam’s cheeks gently. 

“Am I forgiven?” Tommy asked softly. Cam smiled and nodded, quickly kissing her drummer again. 

“Abso-fucking-lutely, Tommy. Come on, you have a show to get to.” Cam replied, quickly standing from her place on Tommy’s lap. Hand in hand, the pair made their was out of the closet and smiled when Nikki and Vince cheered,  and Grace clapped her hands with a huge smile on her face. 

~~~~~~~

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought of this! Love ya! 

Tags: @kellysimagines

[arthistorycuriosity]

My Cabinet of Curiosities

My cabinet of curiosities from top left clockwise: Farewell to Kings by Rush, an apple head with human hair, a watch from Paris, a bear claw, my father’s tooth, my cat, my great-grandma’s silverware from the 1930′s, letters from my penpal in Germany, my TI-84, and The Vancouver Province announcing Barack Obama’s first presidential election win. All these items are displayed in a vintage trunk.  Farewell to Kings Album

Closer to the Heart by Neil Peart

And the men who hold high places Must be the ones who start To mold a new reality Closer to the heart Closer to the heart

The blacksmith and the artist Reflect it in their art They forge their creativity Closer to the heart Yes, closer to the heart

Philosophers and plowmen Each must know his part To sow a new mentality Closer to the heart (Peart, 1977)

The Farewell to Kings album represents music, Canadian culture, literature, and sexism. Rush is my favourite band. They are a Canadian rock band. Their members are Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson, and Neil Peart. Sadly, Peart passed away due to brain cancer in January, 2020. All three band members are intellectuals, especially Peart, who is a published author. The Farewell to Kings album art is a scene of post-atomic destruction with a doll representation of a king in the foreground who looks broken and dead, with his crown in the rubble near a destroyed bunker, with industrial pollution and a cityscape in the background. Many of the songs’ lyrics are war protest songs. The album title is also a reference to the novel, A Farewell to Arms, in which Hemmingway’s character walks away from World War I, because he is about to be unjustly executed. The character escapes with his girlfriend (who later dies in childbirth) (Hemingway, 1957). Peart also lost a wife and child. Rush is one of the most successful-ever touring bands, members of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, recipients of the Order of Canada, and holders of honorary PhD’s (Ankeny, 2020).  However, can you see something wrong with Peart’s lyrics? The lyrics have such a positive sentiment, to live a life true to one’s feelings, yet Peart always employs the universal “he”. Not surprisingly, most of Rush’s fans are white, nerdy males. (At least that is the stereotype.) I would almost rather hear about Motley Crue’s treatment of groupies than suffer Rush’s utter absence of the female. So, it is with ambivalence that I present this token of my favourite band.

Apple Head

People indigenous to the Amazon rainforest originally shrunk heads to frighten off enemies and to compel the spirits of their enemies to serve them. When western cultures contacted these people, they prized the heads as travel mementos which obviously caused more killing (Santillan, 2020). My shrunken head is an apple. My dad’s friend carved it about twenty-five years ago and he attached a lock of his sister’s hair. Over the years it has hardened and blackened. It is just over an inch in diameter and has acquired a sheen over the years. Its face is laughing and its hair is ash blonde. We joke about it and say that people will think that we are into witchcraft. My dad talks about it protecting him on the road (because it normally hangs in his minivan) and I think he might half believe it. The significance of the head is to represent the study of cultures, and to remind me that when somebody else’s culture seems repugnant, adding mine to the mix can make things worse. It also represents my own irreverence toward all things supernatural, because nothing could be less sinister than a silly apple, even if it looks kind of creepy. Watch

This pocket watch represents my travels to Europe. It is silver and the cover depicts the Eiffel Tower. The word Paris is embossed onto it in cursive. It has floral and beaded detailing around its face. The numerals are Arabic and its hands are lightweight and simple. I bought this watch at Versailles when I was nine years old. On that occasion, I went to France with my family and we saw the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, Versailles, Beaune, Nimes, and Carcassonne. The rich history of the French Revolution impressed me because I kept thinking about the guillotine, which killed the nobles whose images I viewed and whose homes I visited. On my second trip to Europe, I went alone as a nineteen-year-old student. I studied in Berlin at Humboldt University. Everywhere I went, there were remnants of the Holocaust. After that shocking experience, I traveled to Strasbourg by train to visit friends. My hosts and I watched the July 14 fireworks, even though there had been terrorism in Nice the year before. From Strasbourg, I took the high-speed train to Paris and visited the catacombs, the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, the Louvre and Montmartre. While I was in Paris, I stayed with wealthy friends of my Strasbourg hosts. They were nice to me. I felt like I was their daughter. They had an impressive house and the whole downstairs was just for me. I had a super fancy bathroom. For dinner we had sausage or something. Afterwards, they asked me if I liked cheese and I said yes, so they brought me a huge selection of cheeses, all of which I sampled, despite being lactose intolerant! Later, I was glad to have the downstairs suite to myself. Anyway, the significance of this watch is to remind me of a history that is so much bigger and more horrifying than what I can normally mentally process. It also reminds me of my ability to act outside of my comfort zone. Bear Claw

In Indigenous cultures, especially here in British Columbia, bear claws represent protection, leadership, strength and healing (The Ancient Symbol, 2020). This bear claw was given to my mom by an Indigenous man in Pemberton. The base of the claw is amber-coloured, whereas the portion that protruded from the paw is charcoal-coloured. It is curved and has a slight hump on the inside. It resembles a dead fish with its head cut off. It is roughly an inch and a half long. The pointed end could definitely tear you to bits. The man who gave it to my mom had watched her band play at the pub, and they had conversed during the band’s break. At the end of the night, the fellow presented her with this bear claw, which is hardly what she would wear for jewelry, because she is not partial to hunting, but she sensed his generosity and sincerity and so she thanked him and kept the bear claw with a feeling of respect and gratitude. This bear claw is significant because it reminds us that we are very fortunate if we are welcomed by Indigenous people and it reminds us to look at their gifts through their cultural lens and not our own. My Dad’s Tooth

This is my dad’s tooth. I am not sure what type of tooth it is. It might be a wisdom tooth. It is rotten and disgusting. You can see dried up blood and black tooth decay. It is roughly 3/4 of an inch long. Luckily, it does not stink. This tooth is in my collection because I like gross things and I think every treasure chest should have at least one gross curiosity. This semester, I am studying anatomy, so body parts are important. This tooth is a reminder to maintain proper oral hygiene and to floss every night. People die from tooth abscesses and this is a stupid and avoidable way to die (if you come from a rich country). Hygiene practices are also especially important now in our current pandemic. My Cat

This is my cat, Shit Rock. He is black, white and gray and his back has a leopard pattern. His fur is thick, healthy, shiny and soft. He smells like nothing, which makes him so much better than a dog because dogs stink. I love him as though he were my child. At first, when he was a kitten and we rescued him from a barn at my aunt’s house, we used to call him Bubbi, and that is his name at the vet. But Shit Rock is his real name, and this is stolen from the Trailer Park Boys, whose character, Bubbles, is a cat lover. The Trailer Park Boys are icons of Canadian counterculture whom I like for their comedy, irreverence, and Canadian-ness. They also like Rush! Shit Rock is a naughty little kitty, but he has a sweet side as well. He can bite, scratch, and growl when he is hungry or wants to go outside. When he is outside, he likes to cross the road to play with his other kitty friend, which is dangerous. His sweet side comes out when he is full and sleepy. He cuddles, kneads, licks, and purrs on the fluffy blanket on my bed. My Great Grandma’s Silverware

This is my great grandmother’s silverware, which she received as a wedding gift in the 1930’s. She did not use the three sets that remain in the original packaging. The box in which the knife set is housed is blue with vintage lettering. The cardboard is frail and thin. The knife handles are plastic, but they look like yellowed ivory. The spoons are dark and tarnished. The significance of the silverware is to remind me of my father’s Mennonite family history. The Mennonites were expelled from Germany and Russia and other Slavic countries and they dispersed through North America and South America from the 1870’s through the World Wars (The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 2019). My father’s maternal relatives settled in Altona, Manitoba in the 1870’s, whereas his paternal relatives escaped from Siberia and came to Canada during World War I. The Mennonites were pacifists and although my father is irreligious, he has kept this trait. He once had a conversation with a Dutch serviceman, my mom’s step-cousin, whom he told, “If I were called to war, I would tell my government to shoot me before I would ever kill anybody.” The cousin seemed favourably impressed. As for the unused silverware, it speaks of frugality, of saving things for a more important time that never arrived. This stinginess also translated into a parenting style that involved a lot of disapproval, the tone of which got less toxic with each passing generation. (I am not making this up… Just read a Miriam Toews book.)

My Letters/Postcards from Antonia

In 2012, I met a German girl named Antonia on Twitter. We shared an interest in One Direction, a British boy band. We became very good friends and decided to start writing each other real, snail-mail letters. I have kept her letters in a box in my room. It is funny to reread them and remember my tween years. I have studied German since the ninth grade, and to this day, Antonia and I practice English/German with each other. I met her in person in 2018, when I studied abroad in Berlin, and she was just as lovely as I could have imagined. Antonia took an airplane from Bavaria to spend a day with me. We attended an anti-neo Nazi protest. It was a wonderful day. This photo shows a Christmas card she sent me in 2019, and a few postcards too. The Christmas card has a Christmas tree made of glitter on the front and on the inside, she put little dashes of glitter too. The postcards are from Prague, Berlin, and Salzburg. The postcards represent the acquisition of language and cross-cultural exchange. They also represent two parallel comings of age on separate continents: when we first met, we only had a boy band in common, but when we met in person, we had enough in common politically to join a protest together. My TI-84

My TI-84 is a black, rectangular instrument, about 6 by 2 inches, with a lot of intimidating buttons, all of which have three functional levels. It has an LED screen with intimidating, primitive text in its display. The cover has my name and hearts on it, which I did with White Out during one of my math classes. The back bears a sticker of Jack Black from Tenacious D. My TI-84 graphs functions, and finds their roots, maxima, minima, derivatives, and antiderivatives. It can calculate probabilities for normal, t, chi square, F, binomial, Poisson, and geometric probability distributions. It can perform a wide range of statistical tests. It multiplies matrices, calculates trigonometric values, and is handy with logarithms. I got a C in calculus but an A in statistics. I hate math, but I know it matters. For example, statistical studies have changed the United Nations’ policies on awarding aid. They found that giving money to women in impoverished nations ensured that children would be fed, whereas awarding the same money to men did not result in the feeding of children (United Nations, 2020). Another example of math being important socially is the mathematics of exponential growth, which describes the inequality generated by the capitalistic financial system and which also describes the spread of diseases, like Covid-19. Projection models for the spread of disease help public health officials decide policies.   The Province 2008 Newspaper

My last curiosity is a 2008 Province newspaper announcing Barack Obama’s presidential win. It is torn on the backside, permanently folded, yellow, and fading. It stinks a little bit. Obama looks young in this photo compared to now, even though the time since then has gone by very fast. Why should I care whom Americans elect? Well, everything they do affects us; economically, militaristically, culturally, etc. I get very sick of watching their TV and seeing their flags on everything. Pierre Elliott Trudeau said in a 1969 interview with President Nixon: “Living next to you is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is affected by every twitch and grunt" (MacMillan, 2018). This was true when Nixon was in power and it is most certainly true now. I was happy when Obama was elected. I believe that he did his best; however, America is just too far gone. Maybe in many generations to come, they will have free health care. More likely, the country will dissolve into two factions. Or maybe both of these things have already happened somewhat. Now we have Trump, The Proud Boys, and an out-of-control pandemic, and most of Canada’s cases have come from America (Tumilty, 2020).

Thematic Analysis

One theme that recurred in my collection was that of irreverence, even though this was not deliberate in my choice of objects. My kitty is named Shit Rock, which is so off-colour as to be unmentionable at the vet’s office. He is named after the Trailer Park Boys whose humour is founded upon stupidity, drug dealing, and failure. My calculator did not escape unscathed because it bears a sticker of Jack Black in his Tenacious D persona. Tenacious D sings vulgarities with operatic enthusiasm. The apple head is a standing family joke that pokes fun at a creepy looking thing with complete disregard for supernatural associations. Finally, the silverware reminds me of my paternal Mennonite roots and my reasons for wanting to shake them off. As the above thematic links diagram shows, many of the sub-themes that my objects brought to mind are interconnected. However, now I will try to lift another theme out of the objects’ functions. Five of the objects function as memory enhancement. The newspaper stores and helps us recall events of a particular period, in this case the 2008 American election. The TI-84 stores, remembers, and manipulates more mathematical data than any good math student can hold in her head. The watch not only acts as a mnemonic device to help me remember my travels, but it also keeps track of time. The Rush album generates music, which transports its listeners to the time when the music was new, and in this way, it also enhances memory. The letters/postcards serve as a reminder of a long friendship and constitute a written record of two girls’ transition from childhood to adulthood.

References:

Ankeny, J. (2020). Rush: Biography & History. AllMusic. https://www.allmusic.com/artist/rush-mn0000203008/biography.

Hemingway, E. (1957). A Farewell to Arms. New York: Scribner.

MacMillan, M. (2018, June 15). Sleeping with a very cranky elephant: The history of Canada-U.S. tensions | CBC Radio. CBCnews. https://www.cbc.ca/radio/sunday/the-sunday-edition-june-17-2018-1.4692469/sleeping-with-a-very-cranky-elephant-the-history-of-canada-u-s-tensions-1.4699017.

Peart, N. (1977). Closer to the Heart - Farewell to Kings. Thornhill, Canada: Anthom Records 

Santillan, J. (2020, March 27). 8 Disturbing Facts About Real Shrunken Heads. TheCollector. https://www.thecollector.com/shrunken-heads/.

The Ancient Symbol. (2020). Native American Bear Symbol. https://theancientsymbol.com/collections/native-american-bear-symbol.

The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica. (2019). Mennonite. Encyclopædia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/topic/Mennonite.

Tumilty, R. (2020, April 30). Canada's early COVID-19 cases came from the U.S. not China. Healthing.ca. https://www.healthing.ca/diseases-and-conditions/coronavirus/canadas-early-covid-19-cases-came-from-the-u-s-not-china.

United Nations. (2020). Reduce inequality within and among countries – United Nations Sustainable Development. United Nations. https://www.un.org/sustainabledevelopment/inequality/.

[elliotgoodtiger]

Chapter 4 'You’ll find me at the farm'

I bet out of the last 18 days here, 12 of them have me going to bed at 3am, waking up at 6am, tossing and turning till I fall back asleep at 10am, and then finally waking up for good at 1pm. No bags or crows feet around my eyes, so I’m not too worried about appearance. In all honestly, should a man whose daily studio outfit is a pair of unwashed H&M joggers, and the same Banana Republic hooded sweatshirt (shirt optional) be concerned about appearance anyways? It’s not like I’m trying to impress anyone. I might as well be Robinson Crusoe, except my island is surrounded by musicians and farm life. 

I (sort of) have a morning routine. I stumble out of my bunk, consider sticking to my promise I made the night before of running 3 miles, deciding “fuck that”, walking to the bathroom to wash up, and then going to the house next door for toast and coffee. My hands and feet are constantly cold from what I presume is bad circulation from lack of daily exercise. What can I say, running sucks. I do know that if there was a basketball court here I’d be crossing up Joa’s fragile ass. Does billiards count as exercise? Speaking of billiards, that is really the only form of entertainment when it comes to downtime. Sure I could go watch Dez and Morgan play DOOM on the PS4 Morgan brought, but they only brought one controller. Who the fuck brings a multiplayer shooting game and only one controller. They’ve basically took away any chance of harassing, annoying, and shit talking. No thanks. Ok, it’s actually just come to my attention that DOOM is a 1 Player game, so I guess I can’t really complain, can I? Wait, yes I can. Should have brought Super Smash Brothers and a Gamecube.

I hear the rumblings of bass guitar as I make my way towards the main studio. It’s actually just playback at the moment. Looks like they’ve just finished another song. Morgan is off to the side fiddling around on a guitar (very well, might I add). I think they’re having issues with one of the amps in the live room and trying to diagnose the problem. Despite being a touring bass player once upon a time, I’m completely out of my element when it comes to the technical side of the instrument. I’ve no real valuable opinion to offer Morgan or Nolly, I just nod along with whatever the group says and repeat key phrase while scratching my chin. “It COULD be the capacitors” I chime in. Now’s my chance to sneak away. I’ll meet up with Forrester to see what vocal stuff we have to work on today AFTER lunch. Yes I know I just ate toast, but lunch is just an hour away. I’d go into how amazing the meals are here, but I don’t feel like writing for the next hour. Let’s just say, we ain’t eating cold sandwiches here. Seeing how I pretty much start tracking right after lunch, you’d think I be smart enough to eat a modest portion. Nope. I’ve eaten too much, and now have to make sure no burps slip though while tracking. I don’t think I’ve ever taken worse care of myself during a session, but the lack of sleep, dairy heavy diet, and beer don’t seem to carry over day to day. Perhaps this is an excuse to drink more. What, you don’t think James Hetfield had a beer before he went into the booth? I’m joking of course, I’ll wait till after my session to knock back a few cold ones with Dez. Maybe I’ll develop a drinking problem and bring it on the road with me. I sometime romanticize the idea of being a touring drunk. Then I snap out of it and realize I’m 32 and get sleepy after about four beers. I guess the ‘Motley Crue’ lifestyle isn’t for me.

Lunch is over, time to start another day on vocals! The fun begins. I start with warming up while browsing Reddit. I find r/nba to be the best warm up companion. Did you know that The Warriors have defeated the Cavs, Thunder, and Rockets by an average of 24.3 points this week? Well, now you do, and you have either r/nba, or my warmups to thank for that information. Working with Forrester has been a great experience. It’s fast and fun. We seem to have a pretty good of workflow going. I wanted to make the whole process of working with a new producer as easy as possible, so I went into this album ready to take on any suggestions he had. I think all of us as musicians always want to believe that whatever they’ve written is the best possible thing for the song. Most of us are reluctant to want to waiver from our original ideas. I wanted to try something different this time around and be open to any and all suggestions. Really makes the job go a lot faster, with results better than I anticipated.

I’ll finish this book later.

[stretchearsnotvaginas]

There are 329 records in my collection as of January 9, 2019. This list includes Alternative Rock, Christmas, Classical, Comedy, Country, Dance, Folk, German, Hip  Hop, Jazz, Kids, Metal, Outlaw Country, Pop, Rock, Rockabilly, and Soundtrack.

To organize and keep track of all of these, I use an app on my iPad called MusicBuddy and it catalogs and organizes all of my records for me. So when I get more records, I’m going to continue to add to this blog. This collection is a conglomeration of records given to me by my mom, grandparents, friends, and records I’ve found at local thrift stores.

They’re organized first by genre, then by artist. If you see any that are in the wrong category, feel free to message me so I can fix it. Like I said, my app placed them into the genre Discogs placed them into.

KEY: Artist – Album Name 1, Album Name 2, Album Name 3, etc..

All records that are underlined are the ones that are photographed.

Alternative Rock: 7 records

Dance Gavin Dance – Artificial Selection, Instant Gratification (signed), Mothership, Summertime Gladness/Pussy Vultures (7″)

David Lee Roth – Just Like Paradise

Jefferson Airplane – The Worst of Jefferson Airplane

Pink Floyd – A Momentary Lapse of Reason

Christmas: 15 records

Andy Williams – Merry Christmas

Charles M. Shulz – A Charlie Brown Christmas

Elvis Presley – Elvis Sings the Wonderful World of Christmas, Christmas Album

Floyd  Robinson – Charlie the Hamster Plays Christmas Songs With Floyd…

Jim Nabors – Jim Nabors’ Christmas Album

John Denver – A Christmas Together, Rocky Mountain Christmas

Johnny Cash – The Christmas Spirit

Luciano Pavarotti – O Holy Night

Richard P. Condie – Christmas Carols Around the World

Tennessee Ernie Ford – O Come All  Ye Faithful, Sing We Now of Christmas

Classical/Easy Listening: 17 records

101 Strings – Henry Mancini, John Denver

2Cellos – Score

Arthur Fiedler – Arthur Fiedler Superstar

Boston Symphonic Orchestra – Appalachian Spring/The Tender Land – Suite

Clarinet Kings – The Best Polka

Copperas Cove Bands – The Proud New Generation Band ’74

Engelbert Humperdinck – King of Hearts

Ferrante & Teicher – Moonlight Melodies

Heintje – “Mama”

Hollyridge Strings – The Beatles Songbook

Jean-Pierre Rampal – Fascinatin’ Rampal

Mannheim Steamroller – Saving the Wildlife

Richard Clayderman – Love Songs of the World

Royal Philharmonic Orchestra – Hooked on Classics

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Die Zauberflaute, The Magic Flute (box set)

Comedy: 8 records

All in the Family Cast – All in the Family

Bill Cosby – 200 mph, Bill Cosby, Bill Cosby ‘Live’ Madison Square Garden, For Adults Only, When I Was a Kid, Wonderfulness

Various – The Watergate Comedy Hour

Country: 40 records

Alabama – Just Us, Mountain Music

Barbara Fairchild – Kid Stuff

Barbara Mandrell – He Set My  Life to Music, Love is Fair, Meant for Each Other

Buck Owens and His Buckaroos – The Kansas City Song

Charley Pride – The Best of Charley Pride, The Best of Charley Pride Vol. III, From Me to You, Pride of Country  Music

Conway Twitty – By Heart, I Love You More Today

Don Francisco – Forgiven, Got to Tell Somebody, Holiness, Traveler

Don Williams – Cafe Carolina, Greatest Hits

Freddie Hart and The Heartbeats – The Pleasure’s Been All Mine

Glen Campbell – Galveston, Glen Campbell’s Greatest Hits

Jean Shepard – A Real Good Woman

Kendalls – The Best of the Kendalls

Kenny Rogers – The Gambler

Loretta Lynn – Coal Miner’s Daughter, Entertainer of the Year – Loretta, Here I Am Again..,  Just a Woman, You’re Lookin’ At Country

Moe Bandy – Rodeo Romeo

Skeeter Davis – A Place in the Country

Sonny James – The Sensational Sonny James

Statler Brother – Bed of Roses

T.G. Sheppard – Perfect Stranger

Tammy Wynette – The First Lady, Just Tammy, Tammy’s Greatest Hits

Various – America’s Greatest Country Stars Live and In Person, Country Girls

Dance/Electronic: 4 records

Crystal Fighters – Cave Rave

Devo – Oh, No! It’s Devo,  Q: Are We Not  Men? A: We Are Devo!

M|A|R|R|S – Pump Up the Volume (7″)

Folk: 29 records

Albert  Hammond – The Free Electric Band

Andy Williams – Andy Williams’ Greatest Hits, Moon River and Other Great Movie Themes

Cat Stevens – Foreigner, The Very Best of Cat Stevens

Dale Evans – Heart of the Country

Jim Nabors – Everything is Beautiful

John Denver – John Denver’s Greatest Hits Vol. 2, Poems Prayers & Promises

Johnny Cash – America: A 200 Year Salute in Story and Song, Any Old Wind That Blows, At Folsom Prison, Believe in Him, The Gospel Road: A Story of Jesus, Heroes, I Walk the Line, Johnny Cash at San Quentin, Johnny Cash’s Greatest Hits Vol. 1, Look At Them Beans, Ragged Old Flag, Starportrait

Johnny Cash & June  Carter Cash – Carryin’ On With, Johnny Cash and His Woman

Johnny Horton – Johnny Horton’s Greatest Hits

Marty Robbins – Greatest Hits Vol. IV

Peter, Paul & Mary – Album 1700, The Best Of…

Simon & Garfunkel – Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme

Various – Zenith Presents Hootenanny Special

German: 20 records

Extrablatt – Vico Ganz Neu!

Flotte Franz Und Seine Bierbrummer – Ja Das Haben Di Madchen So Gerne

Gaudeamus Igitur – Romantic Old Heidelberg

Hoffbrau Singers – Ein  Prosit! A Toast!

Ivan Rebroff – Kosaken Mussen Reiten

Johannes Heesters – Da, Geh’ich Ins Maxim

Lucie Baierl – Wine, Women and Schrammeln

Paul Horbiger – Servuswein

Peter Alexander – The Golden Album of Peter  Alexander, Peter Alexander Prasentiert Walt Disney’s Welt

Robert  Stolz – Ein Shoner Herbst

Serge Jaroff – The Best of Serge Jaroff and His  Don Cossacks

Various – A Echte Gaudi, Ein Heurigenabend Bei Toni Karas, Music of the Austrian Alps, Musical Memories of Germany Vol. 2 “Auf Zum Oktoberfest”, Schenkt Man Sich Rosen In Tirol

Wiener Schrammelguartett –  Erinnerung An Wein

Winer Terzett – Tanze Aus Dem Alten Wein

Hip Hop: 6 records

Boogie Boys – City Life

LL Cool J – Radio

New Kids On The Block – Hangin’  Tough, Hangin’ Tough (Calendar Pack 7″)

Snap! – The Power

Various – Electric Breakdance

Jazz: 12 records

Dean Martin – Dean Martin Hits Again, Gentle On My Mind, This is Dean Martin!

Frank Sinatra – I’m Glad There Is You/You Can Take My Word for It Baby (7″), Strangers in the Night, Ultimate Sinatra

Jack La Forge – Unchain My Heart

John Tropea – Short Trip to Space

Paul Winter – Common Ground 

Various – Happiness Is (Box  Set), Kings of Swing

Winter Consort – Road

Kids: 20 records

Al Smith – Happytime Songs for Children

Candle – The Music Machine

Carole and  Jimmy Owens – Ants’hillvania

Children’s Television Workshop – Songs From Sesame Street 2

Disney Choir – It’s A Small World

Disney – Walt Disney Presents Mickey Mouse and His Friends

Ethel Barrett – Children’s Stories: The Mysterious White  Envelope

Marcy Tigner – Sings Nursery Rhymes, Wear a Smile

Nancy  F.A. Woolnough – The Adventures of Raindrop #3

Peter Pan – Popeye the Sailor Man 4 Exciting Stories

Richard Wolfe Children’s Songs – A Raggedy Ann Songbook

Sesame Street – Sesame Street Gold! The Best of Sesame Street, Sleepytime Bird, The Year of Roosevelt Franklin: Gordon’s Friend

Sharron Lucky – Follow the Clouds

Singspiration Trio – Songs for Children No. 2

Strawberry  Shortcake – Strawberry Shortcake and  Her Friends (photo disc)

Susie and Johnny – Sings Stories by Susie and Johnny and Their Singing Pals

Thomas Moore – Sleepy Time

Metal: 10 records

Bloodrock – Live

Jethro Tull – A Passion Play 

Metallica – The Good The Bad & The Live: The 6 1/2 Year Anniversary Collection,  Harvester of Sorrow, Jump in the Fire, Kill ‘Em All

Motley Crue – Girls, Girls, Girls

Slayer – Hell Awaits

Twisted Sister – Love is for Suckers, Under the Blade

Outlaw Country

Johnny Rodriguez – Foolin’ With Fire

Kris Kristofferson – Border Lord, Me and Bobby McGee, The Silver-Tongued Devil and  I

Kris Kristofferson & Rita Coolidge – Full Moon

Merle Haggard – Amber Waves of Grain, The Best Of The Best Of Merle Haggard, It’s All in the Movies, Same Train Different Time

Tanya Tucker – What’s Your Mama’s Name

Waylon Jennings – Wanted! The Outlaws

Willie Nelson – Willie  Nelson’s Greatest Hits

Willie Nelson & Family – Honeysuckle Rose

Pop: 38 records

Connie Francis – The Very Best of Connie Francis

Cyndi Lauper – True Colors

Debby Boone – Surrender

Eurythmics – Greatest Hits

Gene Pitney – The Many Sides of Gene Pitney

Go-Go’s – Beauty and The Beat

Halsey – Badlands

Helen Reddy – Long Hard Climb

Johnny Mathis – Close to You, More Johnny’s Greatest Hits

Maureen McGovern – The Morning After

Michael Jackson – Thriller

Neighborhood – I Love You.

Neil Diamond – Classics The Early Years, Gold, Hot August Night, Tap Root Manuscript

Oh Wonder – Ultralife

Olivia Newton-John – Olivia’s Greatest Hits Vol. 2, Physical

Panic! At The Disco – Death of a Bachelor, Pray for the Wicked

Paul Anka – 21 Greatest Hits

R.B. Greaves – R.B. Greaves

Ready for the World – Oh Sheila

Rick Springfield – Working Class Dog

Righteous Brothers – Back to Back

Sonny & Cher – All I Ever Need Is You

Sylvan Esso – Sylvan Esso

Toni Basil – Word of Mouth

Various – 24 Groovy Greats, From Broadway to Hollywood, Love is Blue (box set), Super Stars – Super Hits, They Come to America, Zenith Presents The Hit Makers

Wayne Newton – Summer Wind

Wham! – Make it Big

Rock: 54 records

4 Skins – A Few 4 Skins More Vol 2

AC/DC – Fly On the Wall

Adolescents – Brats in Batallion

Alice Cooper – Alice Cooper’s Greatest Hits

Animals – The Best of the Animals

Bad Religion – Against the Grain

Bauhaus – Mask

Beastie Boys – Licensed to Ill

Beatles – 1962-1966, Introducing… the Beatles

Billy Joel – An Innocent Man

Blood, Sweat, and Tears – Blood, Sweat, and Tears

Boatz – Boatz

Bob Seger – The Distance

Bobby Darin – It’s You Or No One

Camel – Breathless

Chuck Berry – Chuck Berry’s Greatest Hits

Circle Jerks – Group Sex

Cliff Richard – Two a Penny

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young – Deja Vu

Cure –  Boys Don’t Cry, Japanese Whispers

Dad  Punchers – These Times Weren’t Made for You

Everly Brothers – Everly Brothers’ Original Greatest Hits, The Golden Hits of the Everly Brothers, Very Best of the Everly Brothers

Fleetwood Mac – Fleetwood Mac, Greatest Hits, Rumours, Tango In The Night, Tusk

Free Beer – Highway  Robbery

Grateful Dead – Touch of Grey (7″)

Green Day – Dookie

Hard-Ons – Dickcheese, The Worst Of…

J Geils Band – Freeze-Frame

Jerry Lee Lewis – By Request: More of the Greatest Live Show On Earth

Jesse Colin Young – Love On The Wing

Journey – Escape

Kenny Loggins – Nightwatch

Kenny Loggins & Messina – The Best of Friends, Native Sons

Lee Michaels – 5th

Mike & The Mechanics – Mike + The Mechanics

Pat Benatar – Crimes of Passion, Get Nervous, Heartbreaker, Live From Earth

Stevie Nicks – Bella  Donna, Rock a Little

Tom Jones – Live in Las Vegas, This Is Tom Jones, The Tom Jones Fever Zone, Tom Jones Live! At The Talk Of The Town

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Rockabilly: 12 records

Elvis Presley – Almost in Love, Aloha from Hawaii via Satellite, Elvis Now, Elvis’ Golden Records, G.I. Blues, How Great Thou Art, Let’s Be Friends, Pure Gold, Rock ‘N’ Roll, Welcome to My World, Worldwide Gold Award Hits

Ricky Nelson – Legendary Masters Series

Soundtrack: 24 records

Burt Bacharach – Lost Horizon

Dory Previn – Valley of the Dolls

Isaac Hayes – Shaft

Jack L. Warner – 1776

Leonard Bernstein –  West Side Story

Mary Martin –  Mary Martin Sings The Sound of Music

Mr. Pickwick – Mr. Pickwick Sings Songs from Mary Poppins

Neil Diamond –  Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky –  Suite from “The Nutcracker”

Ray Parker Jr. – Ghostbusters

Rossini – The Barber of Seville (box set)

Simon & Garfunkel – The Graduate

Unknown – HearSeeDo: Hanna-Barbera Record of Safety, Superman

Various – 2001 A Space Odyssey, 50 Happy Years of Disney Favorites (1923-1973), Fantasia, The Fox and the Hound, Grease, Song of Norway, That’s Entertainment: Musical Highlights from Camelot! Sounds of Music! etc., Top Gun, Urban Cowboy

Vince Guaraldi – Selections from the Soundtrack ” A Boy  Named Charlie  Brown”

Record Collection There are 329 records in my collection as of January 9, 2019. This list includes Alternative Rock, Christmas, Classical, Comedy, Country, Dance, Folk, German, Hip  Hop, Jazz, Kids, Metal, Outlaw Country, Pop, Rock, Rockabilly, and Soundtrack.

[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 138, January 2019

Developing any new routine or habit takes a considerable amount of time and patience. It doesn’t matter whether you have a mental illness and a disability or not, it’s just simply not going to instantly happen. And this is the logic I have to follow when it comes to building a new routine for myself when it comes to household cleaning tasks and cooking meals at home.

There’s a lot of preparation involved with both of these things plus finding the effort and motivation to physically complete them. But fortunately my occupational therapist Ambika has put together a rough daily schedule to put aside time to do just that. Plus I’ve also got my parents for support when it comes to which cleaning products I need to use and what ingredients I need to buy. So it’s not as daunting as it seems on the surface.

On Monday afternoon, I had an appointment with my occupational therapist Ambika from Everyday Independence. Today I had my first cooking trial and I decided to make Spaghetti Bolognese as it was one of the simplest recipes I could think of at the time. It felt like I was on a cooking segment without the producers, drama and television cameras. Luckily I had all my ingredients stocked and recipe printed out and ready to go. https://www.taste.com.au/recipes/spaghetti-bolognese/335cceba-3913-4172-8a28-44ad7a960ef4

It was helpful to have Mum in the kitchen with me as she was a good assistant and provided some wise safety tips as I was going along like: always lifting the saucepan lid away from you when it’s on the heat and using separate bowls for cut vegetables and any scraps. I think the most difficult part for me is making it a habit to cook once a week and motivating myself to actually do it. But otherwise cooking isn’t too hard for me really. https://www.reluctantgourmet.com/basics/

On Monday night, I had my first small group HIIT class of 2019 with Cinamon Guerin at CinFull Fitness. Like anything you’ve taken a break from, it’s often a struggle getting back into the swing of things but tonight there was nothing stopping this crew. It was a full house tonight and we managed to power through many reps including kettle bell squats, mountain climbers, renegade push ups, overhead presses, star jumps, bicep curls, med ball slams and V-ups.

We finished up by doing a short circuit which included Russian twists, weighted lunges and lifts, battle ropes, kettle bell swings, tricep dips, TRX rows and bicep curls and mountain climbers on synthetic grass. It was a challenging class as always (my form wasn’t the best and my legs were shaking by the end of it) but we all had a lot of fun supporting each other and getting through it together.

On Tuesday afternoon, I had a follow up appointment with my psychiatrist Dr. Ricardo Peralta at Vita Healthcare in Mount Eliza. After receiving the following text message from OPTIMIND last week (Dr. Ricardo Peralta will no longer be consulting at OPTIMIND), I started to worry about whether I’d need to seek out another psychiatrist. But fortunately the reception staff at Vita Healthcare reached out to me a few days ago and informed me that Dr. Ricardo has moved clinics and that my appointment for today was still valid. http://www.vitahealthcare.com.au/psychiatry.html

Mount Eliza is a beautiful coastal town located on the Mornington Peninsula, about 5 minutes drive from Frankston. It’s a relief to know that Dr. Ricardo hasn’t moved too far away from Patterson Lakes and it only takes me about 35-40 minutes to drive to Mount Eliza from home. It’s not very often that I drive down there and it’s always nice to explore a different area once in a while. https://www.travelvictoria.com.au/mounteliza/

Getting to the clinic on time was a stressful endeavour as I ended up cutting through the back streets of Frankston and then had to navigate unfamiliar territory in the heart of Mount Eliza. But I made it there and that’s the main thing. When I arrived, I noticed that both receptionists were super busy taking phone calls but eventually I got their attention. The waiting room was very comfortable with the walls lined with plush two-seater sofas.

I usually get really anxious leading up to the appointment itself but once I’m in that consultation room, I immediately feel more at ease. Today was probably the most relaxed I’ve ever been with Dr. Ricardo, discussing things like increasing my antidepressant medication from 10mg to 15 or 20mg (Escitalopram / Lexapro) and my stress/emotional triggers at work, the times when I get the most overwhelmed and anxious while working in a busy retail environment and still waking up around 3-4am most nights. 

It also helped that he met me halfway, literally sitting across from me in one of the armchairs. This is certainly a noticeable difference compared to most doctors who would refuse to sit in anything but an office chair behind a desk. That image of authority; I’m the doctor and you’re the patient. And his mannerisms showed that he had a down to earth, human side to him rather than the cold and clinical stereotypes often associated with psychiatrists.

It’s amazing to think that in just a few months I’ve begun to really trust and open up to Dr. Ricardo and I feel thankful that he ended up being my psychiatrist. He is very reasonable, understanding and compassionate to my needs. And he was more than happy to increase the dosage of my medication, especially in order to cope and better manage my symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress and insomnia. 10mg just isn’t quite cutting it.

On Wednesday morning, I made the mistake of increasing my antidepressant medication way too quickly. Within an hour, I was already experiencing some strong side effects such as feeling flustered and feverish in the face, light headedness and blurred vision. Luckily Mum and I were nearby First Health Medical Centre at Casey Central Shopping Centre so I could get checked out.

The receptionist was quick to put me onto the first available doctor who was Dr. David Tai Kie. I only had to wait around 5 minutes or so before he saw me. After explaining that my psychiatrist recommended the dosage increase after starting the 10mg for around 1-2 months, I wasn't prepared for all the side effects jumping straight to 20mg. Dr. Tai Kie recommended that I alternate the doses between 10mg and 20mg over the next week to allow my body to adjust to it. https://www.healthline.com/health/escitalopram-oral-tablet

The receptionist was also very helpful when it came to getting my medical records transferred from Narregate Medical Centre to First Health, as well as informing me what hours Dr. Tai Kie works should I want to see him again. Considering how average I was feeling through all of this, I couldn't have been happier with the level of service I received especially from my first visit. Highly recommend this clinic and Dr. David Tai Kie. https://www.firsthealth.net.au/our-clinics/narre-warren-south-clinic/

On Thursday morning, Mum and I visited the Wilson Botanic Park Berwick. Today I was determined to not let anything ruin my visit here so I had no appointments on and any phone calls and messages from people would have to wait (Sorry, NOT sorry). It was a beautiful partly cloudy 23 degree day so perfect conditions for a walk around. We decided to walk around the Basalt Lake track featuring a boardwalk, large volcanic rocks and a bird hide.

We managed to spot a few turtles and birds around the edges of the lake as well as on the rock deposits and tall grass. We only spent about an hour at the park but that was more than enough for both of us. They had a train ride making regular trips around the lakeside trails with many children and parents on board. I always seem to feel very peaceful and relaxed whenever I’m here, so long as my phone doesn’t become a huge distraction!

On Thursday night, I went to an RPM class with Nicky at YMCA Casey RACE in Cranbourne East. I was feeling so tired this afternoon that I literally dozed off in bed and then freaked myself out a little when I woke up and saw that the time was 4:50 PM. I had to put the air conditioner on high in my car just to keep myself alert driving to Casey RACE. Luckily I managed to arrive there safely and on time for my class. https://www.caseyrace.ymca.org.au/gym/group-fitness

Our instructor Nicky was certainly interesting to say the least. From her dreadful, croaky singing voice to her wild yelling and crazy, infectious enthusiasm, she was far from boring and made the class more exciting. She selected a diverse mixture of older tracks including: Good Time by Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen (RPM 58), Ugly Heart by G.R.L. (RPM 66), Kings and Queens by Thirty Seconds To Mars (RPM 53) and Kick Start My Heart by Motley Crue (RPM 39). http://www.totallylesmills.com/site/rpm

Considering how sleepy and exhausted I’ve been feeling today, I still managed to put in a decent effort today with my workout, hitting an average range of 60-70 RPM and a maximum of 128 RPM. I burned around 348 calories and cycled a total distance of around 18.5 km. https://lesmills.com.au/rpm

On Friday morning, I had an appointment with my Speech Pathologist Amon from Everyday Independence. Once again, I was getting myself really nervous and worked up for no reason at all. I turned the radio on because dealing with dead pan silence is absolutely excruciating and uncomfortable for me. Plus having background music tends to put my nerves at ease. I guess it’s just that feeling of “not knowing” that gets me so worked up because I like to be prepared.

Today we worked on some strategies that can be used to achieve my goals: making new friendships, feeling more confident in social situations and spending more time hanging out with friends. A lot of it was quite hypothetical which is something I find challenging, thinking on my feet and without structure. But it felt good knowing that I came up with a plan going forward with conversation starters, how to interact with other people, what to say and making conversations flow better.

On Friday night, I did my first Restorative/Yin yoga class with Dani Iacovelli at Soul Flame Yoga in Beaconsfield. I think one of my biggest challenges from last year was my reluctance to embrace change and it's the reason why I quickly turned away from Soul Flame Yoga. After practicing yoga at this studio under the name "Just Be Yoga & Meditation" for over 8 years, it came as a rude shock when the studio name suddenly got changed. I couldn't handle it. It wasn't the same for me. And that "fight or flight" reaction took over me. I fled as fast as possible.

But now that I've had several months to process this, I'm willing to give the studio another shot this year. To be fair, something keeps drawing me back there whether it be the location in Beaconsfield, the yoga teachers and students or the studio space itself, which has recently been renovated and redecorated over the last 12 months or so. The colour scheme now includes a soft pale grey, stone grey, khaki green and eucalyptus green whilst still retaining elements of the original design such as the props area and wall unit in the reception area for personal belongings. https://www.facebook.com/pg/soulflameyoga/

Dani was very warm in her approach and immediately set me at ease. She offered the yoga class for free as technically this was my first time at Soul Flame but I was still grateful for the gesture. I have to admit that I was a little rusty on the mat tonight as it’s been a few weeks since my last proper yoga class but I quickly got into the rhythm again.

Dani gave us lots of options tonight and I decided to take many of the prop-assisted variations given how tight and inflexible my joints and muscles were feeling tonight. The poses and movements were did in tonight’s class include: Frog pose, Pigeon pose, Low Lunge, Downward Facing Dog, Lizard pose and Reclined Bound Ankle pose.

I didn’t stick around for the 45 minute meditation afterwards as I was really tired already and felt like I did enough today. I think the most important thing that I gained from tonight is that my fears and anxieties have gently evaporated. I still have a sense of belonging here which is something I’ve been wanting for years, particularly in a yoga studio. It’s often tough finding a place that you feel connected at but Soul Flame Yoga could indeed be the one. https://www.soulflameyoga.com.au/our-story/

“All this running around. Trying to cover my shadow. An ocean growing inside. All the others seem shallow. All this running around. Bearing down on my shoulders. I can hear an alarm. Must be morning. I heard about a whirlwind that's coming 'round. It's gonna carry off all that isn't bound.” Tame Impala - Let It Happen (2015)

“I was raging, it was late. In the world my demons cultivate. I felt the strangest emotion but it wasn't hate, for once. Yes I'm changing, yes I'm gone. Yes I'm older, yes I'm moving on... They say people never change, but that's bullshit, they do.” Tame Impala - Yes I’m Changing (2015)

[the--blackdahlia]

Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 45 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 45

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings:  Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.

Nikki grabbed his keys as they made their way to his car. (Y/n) smiled as she sat back in the passenger seat. She knew Nikki was having a hard time keeping his hands off of her.Nikki placed his hand on her thigh and began rubbing her gently.

“What are you in the mood for? Chinese? Burgers?” He smiled as his fingers reached between her thighs.

“What sounds good to you?” She asked, crossing her legs to stop him from playing with a smirk on her face.

“Chinese,” he huffed and shifted in his seat and glared at her. “No fair,” he mumbled.

“I told you I was gonna make you pay,” She said, smiling. “Let’s go get some Chinese.”

Nikki drove them to their favorite place on the strip. He smiled when they sat in the same booth they sat in all those years ago. He looked at (Y/n) and just for a moment he was back in the 80’s seeing her across from him. He reached over and took her hand in his.

“You look beautiful,” he smiled at her.

“You look handsome yourself.” She smiled at him. She held his hand gently in hers. “How’d I get so lucky?”

“Sorry sweet girl,” he chuckled. “I’m the lucky one here.” She leaned over the table and kissed him.

Their food came and they talked, just like they used to. There was no sneaking around, not being worried that Tommy was going to find out about them, or having to worry about the rest of the band interrupting their date. It was just Nikki and (Y/n).

“So, Elektra wants us to do one more tour for the new album with Vince,” Nikki sighed as he and (Y/n) ate. His smile faltered when he saw Vince walk in, “Oh no.”

“What? What’s going on?” (Y/n) could see the door due to a decorative wall behind the booth.

“(Y/n)! Nikki! Hey guys!” Vanessa smiled as she and Vince walked to them.

“Nessa! Vince!” (Y/n) laughed. “Hi!”

“Hey Nessa! Hey Vince,” Nikki sighed. So much for trying to seduce (Y/n) and maybe have a small bit of car sex.

“What are you two out and about doing?” (Y/n) asked as Vanessa sat by her and Vince sat by Nikki.

“Vanessa felt like having chinese food after a week of feeling crummy,” Vince said as he hugged her. “So we just came by. What are you guys doing out and about?”

“Going to get some new tats.” (Y/n) said with a smile. “Doing some wedding planning too.”

“Oh! I have to tell you,” Vanessa slid in and looked at (Y/n). “so as my Maid of Honor, because let’s face it you are my girl. Letting you know right now, dress is lavender.”  

“I think I can do that.” She laughed. “I haven’t really figured out dress colors yet.”

“You will and I will help you every step of the way,” she hugged (Y/n).

“Are you feeling okay? You kinda are glowing.” (Y/n) told her.

Vanessa bit her lip, “I’m fine.” she looked down at her hands not sure how she could tell her friend. “I’ve just been getting over a small stomach bug.” Vanessa lied.

“You sure?” (Y/n) asked. She decided to test it. “Want some Huangjiu?”

“No, I’m good with water…” Vanessa looked at (Y/n). “getting over a hangover,” (Y/n) just nodded. Nikki looked from Vince to Vanessa. He was putting the hints together and knew (Y/n) already had.

“Vince we should go and leave them to have a nice night,” Vanessa whispered.

“Vince what’s going on?” Nikki looked at him and raised his eyebrow.

“I, uh…” Vince looked around. “Oh look! Sale on leather pants! Let’s go Nessa!”

“Oh Leather pants!” Vanessa got up as she and Vince walked out. Nikki looked at (Y/N) and sighed.

“She scared to tell you something?” he looked at (Y/n).

“She’s pregnant.” (Y/n) told him. She gave him a smile. “They’re gonna have a cute kid.”

“Yeah they are,” Nikki echoed. “I’m… I’m happy for them.”

“Me too.” She ran her foot on him. “Maybe after the tattoos...never mind…” She looked down.

“We can start trying?” Nikki whispered.

“Only if you want to.” She told him.

“I want to,” He held her hand.

“I want to too.” She smiled at him. “I love you Nikki.”

“Let’s go get out Tatts and try to have a baby,” he smiled at her as he paid the bill and they walked to their favorite Tattoo parlor. The artist was so happy to see them together, and a couple hours later, they walked out with matching tattoos. (Y/n) held Nikki’s hand as they headed back to the car. Nikki’s hands on her thigh one more time as his fingers dance on her skin. He smiled at her and winked.

“Ready to go home Mr. Sixx?” (Y/n) asked him with a smile.

“I’ve been ready sweet girl,” he said as his fingers on her panties through her skirt. “Can’t wait to just take you over and over again.”

Reaching their house, Nikki opened the door and picked up (y/n). Using his foot he closed the door and carried her to their bedroom making good on his promise.

***********

Vanessa came over the next day, she walked up to the door and knocked. She sniffled a bit and dried her eyes. Nikki answered, robe wrapped around him.

“Hey Nessa!” He said. “(Y/n)’s sleeping. Are you okay?”

“Oh,” her voice broke. “I’m sorry I just… I really needed to talk to her and… I’ll go….” she sniffled and turned to walk away.

“Hey, hey.” He gently led her inside. “Nessa, are you okay?” He asked. He sat her down on the couch. “Let me go get (Y/n), okay?”

"I um...I can't...I should go before I upset her," Vanessa mumbled as she tried to make her way to the door.

“Vanessa, what’s going on?” Nikki asked, making her sit. “She knows. She’s not stupid. She’s not upset at you. In fact, we’re trying for our own.” He chuckled. “Which is why she’s still asleep.”

"She knows?" Vanessa whispered. "I...I…" Vanessa was freaking out. She was scared to death. "I am the worst friend ever Nikki."

“Nessa you are not a bad friend,” Nikki rubbed her back. “Where is this coming from?”

“What kind of a friend gets engaged and pregnant when their friend is in pain?” She whimpered.

“Hey, she’s happy for you Nessa. I promise.” Nikki gave her a hug. “Let me go wake her up ok?”

Vanessa nodded as Nikki made his way upstairs. He didn’t want to wake (Y/n) but Vanessa needed her. He only hoped Vince was ok. Walking slowly up to the bed he caressed (Y/n)’s face and left butterfly kisses on it.

“Hey sweet girl,” he whispered. “Nessa’s here to see you.”

“Mmmm, what?” (Y/n) asked, opening her eyes.

“Hey, sorry to wake you,” he nuzzled her cheek with his nose. “Nessa’s down stairs and she’s got it in her head that you’re upset at her. I think the hormones are kicking in.”

“Okay, I’m getting up.” (Y/n) pushed herself up and pulled on some clothes before making her way downstairs, yawning.

Vanessa lay on the couch tears streaming down her face. She wasn’t sure why, but she had this intense feeling of guilt and it hurt.

“Nessa?” (Y/n) asked, rubbing her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I...I should be happy and I just feel sad.”

“Why sweetie?” She sat down by her.

“Because you should be the one pregnant not me… I just… you should be getting this super happy ending… I… I couldn’t even protect Skylar… how can I protect Vince and bean in here.” she whispered and closed her eyes tight.

“Maybe I should call Vince,” Nikki looked at (Y/n) and just then the phone rang. “Ten bucks says that’s Vince,” he sighed as he went to answer the phone leaving the two women alone.

“Nessa, there was nothing that could be done for Skylar. That wasn’t your fault.” (Y/n) whispered. “And you deserve a happy ending too. You and Vince have been through a lot.” She played with her hair, watching Nikki on the phone.

“But it’s not fair,” she muttered. “I’m sorry I hate feeling like this… stupid hormones and Vince is never doing this to me again.” she sniffled and sighed. “Nikki said you guys are starting to try.”

“Uh, yeah.” (Y/n) sighed. “But, don’t tell him this but...I don’t think I can get pregnant.”

“What?” Vanessa sat up and pulled (Y/n) into a hug. “Oh honey and here I am pouring out my problems and ….” Vanessa started crying again as the doorbell rang.

Nikki opened the door and let Vince in, “Hey man. She’s on the couch.”

“Remember, don’t say anything to Nikki.” (Y/n) told Vanessa. Vince went to her and held her. (Y/n) smiled softly at them.

“Nessa, I was worried.” Vince told her. “Are you okay?”

“I was just feeling sad that’s all,” she whispered. “I’m not going to be a good mom.”

Nikki walked over to (Y/n) and held her close kissing her head.

“You’re gonna be a great mom. And if you ever need any help, that kid has a great Aunt (Y/n) and Uncle Nikki to help out.” (Y/n) told Vanessa.

“Yeah we are going to spoil that kid rotten,” Nikki smiled.

“Ok,” Vanessa sighed. “I feel better now… I’m sleepy.”

“Do you want to stay in the guest room?” (Y/n) offered. “Or do you want Vince to take you home?” Vince scooped her up into his arms.

“I’ll take her home so you guys can spend some time together,” he smiled and carried her out of the car. (Y/n) sat on the couch while Nikki closed the front door. He made his way back to her and saw her watching the floor.

“Hey, you ok?” he sat by her. “She’s worried about you and you know she loves you.”

“I’m okay Nik.” She smiled softly at him. “I’m really happy for them.”

“We’ll get there sweet girl,” he kissed her head. “Now, I think your mom left a message that she wanted to meet with you to get things rolling on the wedding.” Nikki smiled.

“She’s going to want a Greek wedding Nikki. And I’ve been to several of those. They’re insane. When I went to Greece for a summer, we literally had a whole month of weddings!” (Y/n) told him.

“Sounds like fun,” Nikki smiled. “What’s the worse that can happen?”

“Oh sweetie.” (Y/n) sighed. “These things are so crazy that someday they’re gonna make a movie about them, and people are going to think it’s exaggerated. And it’s not!”

“I still think it could be fun,” Nikki kissed her. “But you tell her what you want and she might listen.”

“I wonder if she’s going to convince my aunts to come into the states.” (Y/n) said. “She’s already been suggesting we get married in Athens.” She laughed a little and started to pace.

“(Y/n) just talk to her hun,” he smiled. “You can talk to her or we can head to Veags? But then your parents will kill me.” he joked,

“It’s not my parents I’m worried about killing us,” (Y/n) laughed. “It’s the dumbass I call a big brother who blames me for everything!”

“I’ll talk to him sweet girl,” he pulled her onto his lap and caressed her cheek. “You should call your mom. I want to get married to you as quick as we can.” he kissed her deeply. She kissed him back.

“You know, we’re pretty much married.” She laughed. “But I’ll go call her. I’m sure her and ‘Thena will be meeting me.”

“I’m sure everything is going to be great,” Nikki smiled.

************

“Ok, so don’t kill mom but….” Athena hugged her sister as she led her to the reserved table at the restaurant they were meeting at.

“Athena Lee, what did she do?” (Y/n) asked.

“She called the aunts over,” she smiled. “They’re planning the engagement party.”

“What?” (Y/n) asked. “I…”

“Η αγαπημένη μου γλυκιά ανιψιά! (My dear sweet niece!)” A voice called out. (Y/n) groaned. She had learned Greek to talk with her family, but they went back and forth between Greek and English.

“Oh god.” She sighed. That’s when (Y/n)’s mom appeared with her three aunts; Calliope, Erato, and Thalia.

“Just breath,” Athena squeezed her hand. “And just think, no matter what you and Nikki will be married. It will be different from before,” her sister reminded her.

“Maybe at this rate I’ll just run to Vegas?” (Y/n) suggested. The four women sat at the table with the girls. “Aunt Calliope, Aunt Erato, and Aunt Thalia. You’re so far from Greece!”

“Well we came to see you get married! Ooooo it is going to be wonderful!” her Aunt Calliope said. “Your mother said he’s handsome!”  

“He is a rock musician?” Aunt Erato asked. “What band?”

“Uh, Motley Crue.” (Y/n) explained. “You know, the band Tommy’s in.”

Her Aunts nodded and began speaking in Greek all at once.

“Aunties please!” Athena raised her hand to quiet them. “Mom, you know that this is (Y/n)’s wedding we should hear how she wants to do things ok?”

“Of course. And since Nikki isn’t Greek…” Voula sighed.

“She takes after her mother.” Aunt Thalia laughed. (Y/n) rubbed her head some as a headache came on. She took a sip of her water hoping it would help.

“(Y/n)? You ok?” Athena held her hand.

“Just a headache. I’m okay.” She offered her sister a small smile. “Migraines might be coming back.”

“Want me to call Nik? I can handle Mom and Aunties just tell me what you want for your wedding,” she smiled.

“I’ll give it a minute. It might go away.” (Y/n) told Athena. The aunts and mom were all chatting away and (Y/n) squeezed her eyes shut to block out the sun. She was able to give some input on what she wanted, but soon, she was running to the bathroom as the migraine caused her to throw up.

“(Y/n)? Are you ok?” Athena knocked on the stall door.

“My head hurts.” (Y/n) whimpered. “Not feeling so good.”

“Ok, let’s get you home,” Athena smiled at her when she came out of the stall. “I’ll give Nikki a call.”

“It just hit all of a sudden.” (Y/n) groaned as she went to the car with Athena. Athena explained to her aunts and mom. They all wanted to give Greek remedies that would help, but (Y/n) just wanted to go home and lay in a dark room for a few hours. Athena called Nikki while she drove to the house.

Nikki put down his bass and picked up the phone, “Sixx.”

“Hey Nik, it’s your favorite sister-in-law,” Athena laughed. “I’m bringing your princess back to you. She’s not feeling too great. Might need a dark place to sleep for awhile.”

“What happened?” Nikki got up and walked to the living room.

“Headache hit her and it got worse instead of better. The light must have hurt her enough because she threw up in the bathroom at the cafe.” Athena explained.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he started to get worried. He wondered if it was anything he did that caused her to feel bad. He heard Athena’s car pull up and opened the door.  

“Nik, I know what you’re thinking.” Athena said as he came out. “She got migraines really bad as a kid. It’s nothing new. Just this time, our idiot brother isn’t around to do a surprise check and turn on the lights in her room while she’s trying to rest.”

“Ok, well I’ll take her up to our room. I got everything dark in there and I’ll find her something for the migraines,” Nikki picked her up from the car and carried her inside. Athena followed giving Ziggy a pet on the head.

"He really loves her Zig." Athena smiled. "Wait until mom invites them to dinner and he meets the aunts."

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme

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[the--blackdahlia]

I was tagged by many people, so here we go.

I had once been in the classic rock fandom long before Tumblr was a thing, back when Motley Crue wasnt classic rock, Poison was almost a boy band, and David Bowie still graced the earth. Over this past year, it was all woken up within me when The Dirt was released, and I haven't looked back. In fact, I've dragged some people into the fandom with me. I have made many mistakes, had many a breakdown, but the classic rock fandom was there for me. I've been in many fandoms, but so far, this is the nicest one I've been in.

So I would like to thank @sams-serialkiller-fetish @smokeandmirrorz @that-kiss-bitch @saint-of-los-angeles @duffshairdye @bitter-13-suite @sinningsixx @bandaids-not-groupies @teller258316 and some many other people that my sleepy mind can't process right now. Here's to you all. I love you. May 2020 be kind to everyone, and thanks for all the fish ;)