#but her whole being the most special person ever thing coupled with the i'm an expert bc i did this 20 years ago thing... driving me insane

[liinos]

it's crayz bc i know my sisters will vent to each other about me/talk about me when i'm not there but *i* can't do that with either or them bc they always tell the other and it's like 🧍🏻‍♀️ well who am i supposed to vent to then🧍🏻‍♀️

[goldfades]

𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 ─ PB⁵

౨ৎ ─ summary | paigey being your girlfriend - a list of relationship "headcanons"

─ warnings | in a bullet-point formatting, i hope you guys like it! fluff (lmk if yall want nsfw ones bc i can provide), paige being DOWN BAD, social media tingz, maybe alluding to being outed but not really, some angst but you can skip over it, paigey being protective (duh), nothing else?

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

─ ev's notes | THIS IS SUCH LONG MESS BECAUSE I'M HAVING PAIGE BRAINROT RN, but i hope y'all enjoy nonetheless LOL being in my paige era i've read so many of these and i'm sure you guys have as well, so i'm making this as unique (or descriptive) as i possibly can to make it because it's more fun to read (and write cus im a sucker for details)

PRE-RELATIONSHIP STUFF

when you guys first started dating, i feel like paige would be kind of secretive about it

maybe secretive isn't the right word but very... private but not secret type of vibe (at least irl)

not because she doesn't want to show you off, because believe me, she wants to (she's a bragger what can i say)

but just because she wants to keep you all to herself for a while

she knows that as soon as people find out about it, everyone will be talking about it and making assumptions and she just wants to keep you to herself

at least for a couple months

she doesn't care about the public's opinions but she wants to make sure that y'all are LOCKED IN before she makes it public on social media

but it's clear to paige that y'all are very much locked in after the first couple weeks

she's not new to relationships and she's had her fair share but she can tell that it's different now

so the whole "not sure if i wanna hard/soft launch her cus what if we're not a long term" sentiment turns into "i wanna keep this special thing to myself ONLY for at least a couple months"

and of course the entire team knows paige is down bad for you, they've never ever seen her this WHIPPED

because paige seems like she'd be nonchalant and SHE IS... for people she doesn't give a fuck about

so when she likes someone, she LIKES someone

she is extra what can i say

they tease her about it and in any other situation, she would be annoyed but she loooooooves it because it's like "yeah i'm in the best most awesome relationship with the cutest sweetest and kindest girl in the PLANET"

you and paige would've definitely known of each other since freshman year but like... she's kinda intimidating so you sorta tried to steer clear of her

you were really close with some of the girls on the team, specifically azzi so you saw paige kind of a lot

but sophomore year, azzi kind of pushed you guys to be close and since she knows you guys so well, IT WORKED!

you guys clicked so quick and that doesn't happen a lot with paige, it takes a lot to earn her friendship

but you practically ripped down all her walls within like an hour of talking to her

definitely the first one to catch feelings

at least... to her ;)

very much friends to lovers trope with lots of sexual tension cus who doesn't love that?

i feel like after 3 months of being really close friends, you guys would spend like a shit ton of time together

you guys were ALWAYS together

she even tried to convince you to come to practice with her but you said no cus... what the heck

everyone knows... EVERYONE knows that paige likes you

and it kind of becomes like cemented (for paige at least) after she realized you were her literal COMFORT PERSON

like after every terrible, long practice or after losing games all she wants to do is be AROUND YOU so she could forget about everything

especially when she gets injured, she's such a wreck and the only person who made her feel better was you

it wasn't even what you said or what you did, it was simply just you

and after going through such a bad time with you, she realized that she liked you and she can't keep pretending

and she asked you (yaya!) and you said yes cus you liked her back (yaya!) and everything is just YAYA

so it's safe to say she knows she's found her soulmate within a month of knowing you

but she doesn't wanna seem like she's love-bombing you or whatever so she pretended to be nonchalant

which of course FAILS because she's down bad

so she tells you she loves you within like a month of dating

i KNOW it seems bad but you guys both felt it because of the whole injury and spending every moment together

when you know, you know vibes

she told you she loved you after you were there for her through some of the worst times of her life and you said it back of course and it's all cutesy

paige's love language is TOTALLY quality time and touch

even before you were dating, she just liked having her hands on you whether it was like holding your hand while walking through a crowd, or braiding your hair, or putting her head on top of yours or something as simple as just HUGGING you

but she kept it cordial of course cus y'all weren't dating

yeah that was all thrown out the window as soon you became her girlfriend

hands on you at ALL times, it becomes so subconscious neither of you even know you're doing it anymore

so remember that whole secret relationship thing?

well... everyone kind of figures it out online after like 3 months of dating

it was because of paige, poor girl couldn't keep her hands and lips off of you after a particularly hard game and somehow 🤨🤨someone gets a picture and it was all over twitter and tiktok the next day

literally "paige bueckers girlfriend" trending after an hour of getting posted

but neither of you cared too much about it because A. it was totally worth it cus the kiss was 😫😫😫 and B. she finally doesn't have to turn off her girlfriend mode when she's with you at games

cus she has the prettiest and best gf in the world and she wants everyone to know that

the only reason she was slightly annoyed was because she couldn't hard launch you on instagram :( poor girl had potential captions in her notes :( cus she's our little drama queen:(

but that doesn't stop her cus she ends up doing it! (shameless plug right there hehehe)

now that she can freely touch you and just be herself finally, she literally doesn't GAFFF

of course nothing like over the top because sure she loves PDA to a certain extent and she's an athlete so she needs to keep it civil

RELATIONSHIP STUFF

we've already covered how paige is a physical touch and quality time girly

and paige loves spending literally all her free time with you because you just recharge her

but it isn't in like an overwhelming way

paige understand that sometimes you need quiet time (or vice versa) but the thing is she doesn't even need you to talk just being around you is enough

so idk if it's necessarily QUALITY time but just being around you and spending every free second she has with you tells you that she is in love with you

paige is the most protective person IN THE WORLD, not just with you like in general

it doesn't even have to be someone she knows, if she sees someone giving someone else a hard time SHE WILL STEP IN!

and with her friends, y'all have seen her... she does not back down and will literally murder anyone who comes for the people she cares about

so if that's with people she doesn't know, and her friends, you guys can imagine how crazy she gets over you

if somebody says something even slightly consendecing or mean, slap. someone looks at you the wrong way? slap. somebody breaths wrong around you, slap.

obviously she won't lay a hand on them first but likeeee would she back down, nope

she is actually your guardian angel

like at parties, her hand is always on you and she never ever leaves your side

you need to get a drink, she's coming to

if you need to pee? she'll wait in the bathroom for you

yeah don't expect her to leave your side

because even when she IS by your side, there is always a weirdo in your guys' ear trying to get with one (or both!) of you

but yeah she's not afraid to defend you when it comes to literally anything

and this doesn't only apply to strangers, if there is someone that you know (your friend, her friend, etc) she WILL stand by you and defend you

like she doesn't shy away from confrontation, she will say something but only if you want her to

and GOD HELP THEM if you shed a single tear, cus the next morning you bet she's saying something

like i said, paige is a confrontational person and that means she's the biggest communicator

if she has a problem, she will tell you so that you guys can fix it

but sometimes she can come off a little argumentative and like she's just attacking you

she uses a lot of "you" statements so it seems like she's pushing the blame all on to you

so that can be the root of a lot of your guys' arguments when paige is only trying to solve the issues

but of course paige doesn't back down so she will be arguing with you even if she doesn't even know why, she just hates being wrong

but she doesn't let you leave or go to sleep unless the problem is fixed (or at least on the road to being fixed)

she'll give you space, she'll go another room to take a breather but she will not let you leave until it is fixed

usually after the breather you guys can come to an agreement and then paige usually hugs all the anger outta you

cus who could resist her?

if the argument lasts a couple days (it usually doesn't unless it's something serious) paige will talk it out with her mom or her friends

and you'll usually do the same

and paige will force you to sit down and talk about it until it is FIXED because she hates not being able to talk to you

and when you guys do eventually talk about it, especially if it's a serious topic, it will end with tears with both parties

but you guys always make up and everything will be better

okay okay no more angst ... for now hehehe

i feel like paige's nervous tic would be braiding the ends of her hair so i feel like that would transfer to YOU somehow

she just likes braiding your hair!!!!!! or just running her hands through your hair, it would help her relax

and if you're like me, it will help you relax as well

if you're black/have braids, she would only touch your hair if you let her!

paigey takes pictures OF EVERYTHING so obviously that includes you

her camera roll consists of ONLY you atp, like... 20% pics of literally anything else, and the rest would just be pictures of you or something to do with you

and oh my gosh don't get me started on the damn .5's of you, some of them are HORRENDOUSSSS and paige uses them as reaction pictures sometimes

and you found out from azzi that she does indeed use them in the girls groupchat

but she argues that you just look adorable which you respectfully disagree

oh and don't get me started on her tiktok drafts, she has at least 1,000 (rip her storage)

and when y'all started dating she just makes cute relationship tiktoks but she never posts them

EXPECT the "you're spinning me around, my feet are off the ground one" cus she wants to prove to the world that she has muscles

and the tiktok girlies will cry but WHO CARES!

oh and if you're on the basketball team, they will started to fan-girl over you as well

HELLA TIKTOK EDITS

and paige will favorite, repost and comment on them

like the most down-bad, insane comments you can think of

"GET THE STRAP GET THE STRAP!" is one of many ✨✨

if you aren't on the team, trust the tiktok girlies will find a way and they will make edits of you

and paige will do the same

obviously you do the same for her, your favorites are just paige edits atp (mine too)

ESPECIALLY THE GET IT SEXY ONE OMLL

and everyone will make ship edits and cutesy things like

"omg the way paige looks at her" and like a slideshow of paige being like all 😍😍😍

after paige gets more comfortable with like the media knowing about you two, she posts you every five seconds

usually like stories and stuff and especially if you’re also a basketball player, she reposts ALL your stuff

she is a proud gf !!!

she also has a highlight FOR SURE, she loves

also she def has like 10 diff wallpapers of you and her, some are really cute and some are really… 🫣

also paige strikes me as the type to like be texting you ALL DAY

and girl doesn’t care if you reply, she will send you 8 consecutive messages of different things

“omg look at the group chat 😂 *insert screeshot*” “baby they ran out of fucking caramel at dunkin, how does that happen ?” “i ended up going to a local cafe why did this shit cost me 9$” “baby you’re coming to my game on saturday right?” “HAHA look at this meme 😂” “why haven’t you responded to my tiktok’s in 2 days?”

yes she 100% uses the laughing with tears emoji argue with the WALL

or skull emoji

she also sends you 20 minute snapchat vlogs and they’re so chaotic, especially when she’s at practice or something

kk will steal her phone and say hi then you’ll hear them play fighting for like 80% of the vlog

also she does grwm’s on snapchat too when she’s at away games and her morning voice is SOOOO SEXY CUTE

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[radioisntdead]

Hey could I request a scenario where the reader is Alastor's niece and the vees have a crush and alastor's reaction to finding out as well as the Vees. Honeslty if you have it where he beats up basically goes ha no for Vals part and beats him up I'd love that

Good evening my dear after writing I'm realizing you may have meant for them to be separate categories but I went love square [???]

Warnings!!

Valentino, the Vee's being weird, OOC, Vox being a voyeuristic creep, reader has deer features

You know after aiding your favorite [and only] uncle in murder and falling to hell while your mother and grandma ascended above, having a trio of overlords falling head over heels for you was NOT on your bingo card.

You didn't notice them having a crush on you until Auntie Rosie pointed it out when Velvette had a large shipment of not only clothing mailed to you but with flowers, Vox had sent electronics and more flowers [that Alastor would have such joy destroying] and Valentino had sent you erotica.

Classy.

Velvette would be the most aggressive in getting your attention, she probably also has the biggest chance to win over your affections, shoving people out of the way to talk to you, affectionately calling you things, giving you a new woredrob every other week, flowers, personally inviting you to her fashion shows and giving you VIP seating.

Vox watches you, I imagine you at least have a phone probably not Voxtech though so I imagine it's probably slightly harder to watch you through that, but with drones and other devices he watches, probably calls you something like Doe-eyes or Dollface, he's called you mini Alastor a couple of times which you did NOT APPRECIATE, once he realizes that Alastor keeps destroying the technology he sends you he switches to flowers, with cameras in them, he sometimes teleports through them and is often met with you swinging something at him and breaking his screen, unfortunately for you he's into that.

Valentino, arguably the WORST one to have pinning over you, dude manages to pop out at the worst times offering to make you a star, asking you to warm his bedroom, uncomfortably leaning in and touching you.

You ripped off his antenna.

The three of them bicker over you in private.

Now after you figured out WHY they were sending you shit and giving you special privileges you immediately snitched to Uncle Alastor because you did NOT want to deal with the whole dumpster fire that was the Vees.

Now Alastor wasn't naive about the Vee's... Affections towards you, again they sent you a concerning amount of things, but he didn't do anything because you're an adult and you can make your own decisions.

But when you come to him saying that Valentino sent you erotica and made you uncomfortable?

Well you are his one and only niece! The only family he has down here! The least he can do is squish a little purple moth for you!

You wonder if restraining orders were a thing in hell and if they'd work.

Now the TV guy and fashionista surprisingly were NOT completely thrown off by their buddy's screams getting absolutely blasted on Alastor's radio broadcast, they kept their simping to a more low-key level with only flowers getting shipped to you from Velvette and weird love emails from Vox.

Vox for some reason thinks asking Alastor for your hand in MARRIAGE, was a good idea.

It was NOT.

He's lucky he didn't meet the same fate as Valentino.

Maybe one day you'd choose one of the remaining Vee's or both if you're into that, or maybe neither.

But for now you'd use their infatuation with you to your advantage.

Good evening folks! I hope you enjoyed and I think it's probably obvious at this point that Velvette is my favorite out of the Vee's.

Am I ever going to write a fic where Valentino isn't injured or straight up dead in some way? No, no I'm not.

Anyways as always thank you for tuning in!

[livingformintyoongi]

Misunderstanding | Kim Taehyung

a/n: I'm so bad with titles lol. At least you get the idea a bit :). In one part it is mentioned that Y/N is not a public figure like Taehyung, even though she is a chaebol. This is because her family is somewhat like that of Samsung's owners, they keep their children's identities secret until they make their own place in the company.

Summary: It's basically your reaction to hearing about the dating rumours between Taehyung and Jennie while the two of you are still in a relationship. And obviously, he is trying to fix things as quickly as possible.

wc: 2.9k (I didn't think it would be so long honestly).

When you started dating Taehyung, you never thought it would be a big problem. You knew that his schedule was complicated, but you didn't have any drama with that because yours was pretty much the same. You also knew that you wouldn't be a public couple because of the criticism you might get, but that was even better for you because you didn't like being in the public eye either. Problems on tour? Phones were there for a reason, not being able to have children? You were too young, can’t go out in public? Loved the cozy, private dates, little quality time together? Even better! Every moment with him would feel even more special because of how exclusive it was. Yes, you were willing to accept all these disadvantages because you never saw them as an insurmountable problem. At least until now.

You and Taehyung started dating in 2020, during the pandemic. You met him at the concert in cooperation with Lotte Duty Free, one of the companies your father founded, because yes, you were the youngest daughter of the Shin, the family in charge of the Lotte company and all its subsidiaries.

The two of you got along very well while preparing for the concert, so you decided to exchange numbers to keep in touch. It only took a few months before you started dating him officially, and you were very happy at first. 

His schedule was busy, of course, but he had time for you. He would greet you with a big smile, hug you from behind, and take you to the dining room where he had a whole show set up for you. Jazz in the background, scented candles, rose petals everywhere, and two plates of food of dubious origin that you would enjoy anyway because your boyfriend made it. 

You were willing to put up with all those cons if he gave you moments like this every chance he got, moments where it was just you and him. 

Once the pandemic was over and your schedule returned to normal, things got complicated.

And no, time, work, dating, none of that was the problem, because it didn't even have anything to do with you two as a couple.The problems were caused by a third person. Kim Jennie, one of the members of Blackpink and one of the most beautiful women you will ever meet.

You never had any problems with her. You had bumped into her once or twice in the hallway on your way backstage, but obviously she wouldn't recognize you, you were always covered from head to toe.You thought that your friend had the same relationship with her, something casual that couldn't even be called a friendship because you barely said hello to each other when you were together, in fact Taehyung never looked at anyone when he was with you.So why did this happen now?

Your boyfriend was on tour and it was the time of his concert, so you couldn't just call him and ask him about it. You looked at the screen of your cell phone for the sixth time, the headline in big, dark letters seemed to mock your feelings.

"Dispatch confirms, V of BTS and Jennie of Blackpink are in a relationship," you muttered to yourself, trying to get your brain to catch the words, to process them, to react. It didn't.

You scrolled down the page until you stopped at the myriad of photos they had as proof. None of them looked doctored. 

You saw the blue short-sleeved shirt with flowers that Taehyung was wearing in the photo and put your phone down to go to the closet you shared. You pulled out all of his clothes until you found it. You grabbed it and crumpled it in your hands. 

Only then did you burst into tears. You covered your eyes with your shirt and screamed until you felt your throat couldn't take it anymore. Your heart hurt so much that you even had trouble breathing. 

You looked around the room you both shared, trying to understand why he would do this to you. You thought you were fine, everything seemed fine, so why were there hundreds of videos and pictures of your boyfriend with another girl? You felt like all these people were making fun of you by being happy for them. What about you, why don't they think about his real girlfriend who had to put up with years of being locked away in secret while these two were fearlessly dating?

The sadness soon turned to anger, and it wasn't long before you got up and grabbed the biggest suitcase you could find, whether it was his or yours.

You stuffed it with as many clothes as you could, taking your time because you knew he wasn't coming. You lifted the suitcase as high as you could and carried it into the living room. You looked at every single picture of the two of you as a couple. Another few tears fell from your eyes and you let them out as you took the frames and threw them away. 

You threw out everything you could. Mugs, matching pajamas, pictures, rings, absolutely everything. When you were done, your eyes were dry and your head hurt too much, but you didn't care. You grabbed your suitcase and headed for the door.

The only thing that stopped you from leaving was Yeontan, who stood in the doorway, staring at you while wagging his tail from side to side.

"Tannie, mommy has to go do something, okay?" you nuzzled behind his ear and sobbed softly. You knew he wouldn't understand. "Don't worry, I'll visit you every day until your owner comes."

You stood up, took a breath, and walked away. You didn't know where you were going, but that apartment was no longer an option. 

You stood in front of the buildings where you lived and watched for taxis to pass by. Just then you received a phone call. For a moment you thought it would be Taehyung, but no, it was just Jimin's girlfriend, Soyeon, to whom you had become very close over the past years.

"Yes?" you mumbled hoarsely.

"Honey, it's me, Soyeonie," she said in a much calmer voice than usual. She was probably aware of your situation. "I read the news, are you okay?" You opened your mouth to reply, but she interrupted you so quickly that you didn't have time to say anything, "Of course you're not," she sighed, remaining silent for a few seconds, "Look, I know maybe I shouldn't pry, but I understand that you're hurting and the last thing you want is to be in a place full of... him."

You sob softly, wiping your cheeks as quickly as the first tears came.

"I haven't sold my old apartment yet, it has some furniture, enough to live decently, why don't you stay there for a few weeks?"

"Soyeon-ah," you cried, wanting to hug her until you fell asleep. That's what you needed, a long nap.

"Relax, everything’s gonna be okay, Unnie will come and see you there, I'll send you the address, just wait."

"Okay," you nodded, even though you knew she couldn't see you, "thanks."

"It's nothing."

And she hung up.

You looked around. It was full of cars and buildings that looked too big. 

You felt so stupid as you mentally wished that Taehyung was here to comfort you.

You saw a taxi coming your way and you made it stop. You weren't sure if this would be the end of your relationship, you were willing to hear his side, but you weren't willing to have to live with him or a place filled with his presence.

This was best for you.

Taehyung called you the next day, about twenty times, not counting messages. You didn't answer any of them, mostly because you were asleep until 4 pm. You had a hard time falling asleep. Every time you closed your eyes, you could see the two of them holding hands, together in the car, on a date to some kind of zoo. You cried every time your brain projected those images.

Your phone rang for the 21st time. You were still a little groggy from sleep, but you answered it anyway.

"Y/N!" You turned the phone away from your ear. It was too painful to hear his voice so loud with the headache you were feeling, "Oh God, I was so afraid something bad had happened to you. I called the girls, but none of them knew anything about you, so I got worried and..."

"Why did you call me?" you asked curtly. You thought maybe you were being a little cruel, but you didn't care. Answering him like that wouldn't make him feel a thousandth of the pain you felt and still feel since last night.

He was silent for a few seconds. You'd never answered him like that before, you guessed that's why he was so quiet.

"I..." he cleared his throat, sounding a little more tense than when you answered him, "I was a little worried, my manager told me about the news and I thought maybe you were feeling a little depressed-".

You interrupted him again, but this time with a mocking laugh, "A little depressed? Is that how you think I felt? A little depressed?" you laughed again. You had completely woken up this time, "Tell me, Kim, how would you feel if overnight it was all over the news that I was dating an idol? Huh? What would you do if this news came to you on the fucking Dispatch, while I was on the other fucking side of the world enjoying a concert? Would you be a little depressed? A little hurt? Would you even have taken the fucking trouble to answer my calls?" you began to raise your voice with every word you said. You didn't even notice at what point your voice broke. "You have no idea what I'm going through, and you never will, because unlike you I'm not a public figure! I could be fucking any man in Korea and you're never going to see an internet media outlet post it and 'celebrate' my relationship, you're never going to see any fan of mine go on social media and celebrate my relationship with someone else while you're behind the curtains" You sobbed, wiping your cheeks awkwardly.

"Honey, I know it's-"

"Don't you dare call me like that" you growled, clenching your jaw, "I don't even want to hear you say my name, do you understand?"

"Y/N" he muttered, his voice trembling. You assumed that at some point in your verbal vomit he had started to cry, "Just give me 1 minute, I'll explain everything, I promise."

You tried to control your anger by taking a big breath of air, it worked enough to stop you from sending him to fuck off... for the second time.

"Do you want me to listen to you?" you mumble, looking down at your hands, remembering all the times he came home late, wondering if all those times he was at her house, doing god knows what while you tried to stay awake just to see him before bed. 

"Y-yes, please, I just need a minute".

"Fine," you smiled half-heartedly, "then come and explain it to me in person. If you're really sorry and say it's a misunderstanding, come here and tell me."

Your more conscientious side chided you for your request. It was his job, you couldn't just order him to make a trip from the United States to Korea just for you. Maybe that's why you gave him that condition. You knew he wouldn't come all this way just for you.

The line went silent, you could barely hear his breathing. You ended your conversation.

"I thought so," muttering much calmer than at the beginning, "I guess Soyeon was right in saying that the only one who would have to make sacrifices for our relationship would be me."

And you cut the call short.

You put your phone on airplane mode and plopped down on your bed, ready to go back to sleep for the rest of the weekend.

It had been a day since you heard the news, barely 17 hours since you last spoke to Taehyung, because yes, you counted the hours. You hadn't eaten anything, you'd barely had a glass of water, and the only thing you felt like doing right now was taking a very long shower and then crying yourself to sleep. Yes, it sounded like the perfect plan to try to get over your ex, if that's what you could call it.

You got in the tub at 10am, didn't get out until 12:30, and when you did you could barely feel your fingers and toes. At least your muscles had finally relaxed.

You dressed more slowly than usual, in just your pajamas, the only ones that weren't your partner's, and went to bed.

Until the doorbell rang.

You changed direction, confused. You were sure that no one besides Soyeon knew you were here. It crossed your mind that maybe she was worried about you and that's why you'd decided to open up and politely turn her away.

Except she wasn't the one waiting for you on the other side.

"Y/N," Taehyung said, trying to regulate his breathing. "You really were here," he whispered, entering the flat and closing behind him. It wasn't until the door rattled that his arms wrapped around you so tightly that you almost stopped breathing. "Why did you leave home? I got so worried when I saw our stuff in the trash and the wardrobe almost empty" he cupped your cheeks, inspecting your face.

You didn't understand what exactly was going on.

"What are you doing here?" you mumbled, letting him search your face. 

"You told me to come" he looked into your eyes and, almost instantly, his eyes began to fill with tears. "I couldn't let you because a misunderstanding made you hate me to the point of breaking up with me, I... I don't want to be without you, at this point I don't think I can be," he bent down until he could place his forehead against yours, his thumbs caressing the skin of your cheeks, "You're the best thing that ever happened to me, I don't plan on losing you over something stupid like this."

You looked at Taehyung, still not understanding what he was trying to say. 

"The pictures are real" he exhaled deeply, "but it's not like you think" he pulled his phone out of his trousers pocket. His hands were shaking slightly. You wanted to hold them, but you completely erased the thought, "We dated for a few months, it was a very short thing, about two or three months before we met".

He showed you some conversations from a few years ago. He was asking her to bring him the shoes he had left at her house last time, and that he would appreciate it if she would bring the leash they had bought Yeontan. You also saw the last messages they sent to each other, it was only a few days ago.

Jennie told him that someone had hacked into her phone and most likely found the pictures they took the time they went to the zoo. She apologized and sent him stickers of crying puppies, saying that the lawsuit against the hacker had already started and that she would try to speed up the process so that he wouldn't be affected. 

"I totally understand how angry you were, and obviously I also understand that you want to talk about this face-to-face, so I took the first flight I could find so I could come talk to you and-".

You didn't let him finish. You couldn't do that, not after everything you've been feeling the last few days. So you did the only thing you could think of since he came into the flat. You kissed him.

It was much more awkward than your kisses usually are, but you didn't care. You were so relieved that it was all a misunderstanding that no matter what kind of kiss it was, it would still be amazing to you.

He followed your kiss as soon as he came out of his surprise. He clung to you as if his life depended on it. He was the one who deepened the kiss and lifted you off the floor so he could kiss you better.

"I'm so sorry" you whispered in the middle of the messy kisses he was giving you, "sorry for doubting you" you sobbed softly, hugging his neck with all your strength.

He shook his head, holding your cheeks, "Don't apologise, it was a normal reaction, you said it yourself, I wouldn't have even answered your calls if I had been in your place" he kissed your shoulder softly, letting out a soft sigh. It felt so good to have you with him after all the tension he experienced during the flight.

"You were right about everything you said" he murmured, pulling away enough to look you in the eye, "so please don't apologize to me".

You nodded a little calmer, closing your eyes as you felt Taehyung's nose on yours.

"Now let's go get your things, I don't want to go back inside the house and not see your things in it."

Masterlist.

[takerfoxx]

I'm not traditionally a poly shipper (though I've been delving more into it as time goes by), but if there's one that I'm absolutely gaga about, as if in makes my personal top five ships and might even slot in right beneath KyoSaya and SuleMio, it's the one that almost certainly could not and should not happen in canon, but the thought of it still kinda makes me rabid with what could have been.

I am of course talking about AsuReiShin, AKA the Israfel Special.

Evangelion shipping is often a bizarre experience, especially amongst the core trio of pilots. There is just so much material among these incredibly fucked up characters, so many things that ought to be drawing them together, and yet they are all damaged in such specific ways that drive them to behave increasingly toxic, avoidant, or even abusive toward one another. They're all such hot messes of trauma and hangups that, hate to say it, the Rebuild ending of everyone essentially just making peace with one another and fucking off with Shinji hooking up with the controversial new girl that he at least doesn't have any baggage with was probably the healthiest choice, if not the most satisfying.

But even so, the reason I dig this triad specifically is because if you change even just a little bit about each character, you find the same traits that drove them apart suddenly drawing them together, and each individual pairing makes so much sense. Asuka and Shinji is the most obvious, with Asuka's aggressive bullying suddenly becoming proactive encouragement, and Shinji's meek avoidance now becoming the calm, stabilizing force that she needs. With Asuka and Rei it's similar, with Asuka's hatred of Rei's passivity now being being a drive to push Rei to experience and enjoy life and establish an identity, while Rei's gentle observation and lack of a filter would be give Asuka a much-needed source of self-reflection. And with Shinji and Rei, we've already seen how Shinji's kindness has encouraged Rei to step outside of her sheltered world and seek human connection, while also providing Shinji someone he felt was worth stepping up and fighting for.

Now, take all three of those dynamics and combine them together. You've basically got the perfect Id, Ego, and Superego situation. It's practically the adolescent Kirk, Spock, and McCoy dynamic!

Plus, there's also the other factors that would bring them together, even beyond the whole being hormonal teenagers in a stressful situation. Despite having wildly different personalities, they all had their lives destroyed by NERV, from Shinji losing his mother and being neglected by his father, to Asuka's mother losing her mind and taking her life thanks to the Evangelions, to Rei literally being created by Gendo to serve a terrible purpose and thus being robbed of ever having a life. That sort of "in the trenches" experience is exactly the sort of thing that would cause them to form bonds and seek comfort with one another, especially if they were all to learn of each other's past histories, and motivate them to stand up for one another against NERV's machinations, but ah, I'm delving into AU fanfic territory.

Point is, no, I don't think it would be wise for these three to seek out romance with one another, either as couples or all three of them together. But man, if they each just had just a little bit changed about them, can you imagine the pure emotional catharsis?

Note: I didn't really say anything about Kaworu because while I feel that he's probably the healthiest singular choice for Shinji, it's basically only with Shinji, making him his own separate deal entirely.

[isa-loves-you]

Telling People, You're a couple. | The Group Chat Head canons | Pt.2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soft willy- you and nick have been dating for almost 2 months now. It's still crazy to you that you have this man, I mean come one look at him he is the definition of what everyone wants to be or be with. respectful, good height, nice built, the funniest person you have ever met, sweet and caring nick was all these things; which is why you were kinda scared of telling people you were a couple.

It's not like you were the most horrible person to look at but you in your mind you just thought you were okay nothing special just your average joe, but to nick you were the most beautiful person he'd ever met so of course he wanted to show everyone how special he is to have you in his life. Ever since you guys started dating he's been trying to get your approval to tell his fans but you still felt a little anxious on the idea so nicked eventually stopped asking to respect your decision. 

One day you and nick were at a burger place eating lunch talking about his new album. “I don't know what I really want for the cover but I was kinda thinking if you would be able to pose for it?” Nick said looking hopeful at you “Nick I don't know, what if people connect the dots? I'm already on most of the tracks. It would be weird if I am also on the cover.”. He had to admit it would be kinda obvious but that was the whole point, he was happy that you were there to help accomplish the album and it would just be even more awesome if he got to see your face on the front of it all

“Here your refill sir” the waitress interrupted yours and nick conversation with a smile “oh thanks” “if you need anything, and i mean anything else just let me know” the waitress was basically eye fucking nick while saying her little beg of attention from nick. This mad you fucking livid like who  does she think she is talking to a random man like this and in front of his girlfriend out of all people.

“Thanks but i'm good” Nick let out an uncomfortable laugh while trying not to look at her anymore. You had to admit this girl was pretty but you were definitely better looking than her and that's all you needed in the moment to make a decision that went against your words. “You know what?I will pose for the cover "what do i have to hide” for the rest of the day. Nick couldn't stop thanking you and asking if you were sure about this but you already agreed and can't go back on it now.

Two weeks later you and Nick were drinking and  trying to think of all the different types of ways to take pictures. Since the songs on the album were based off of video games more specifically the games you could only play on the Nintendo DS you came up with  the idea of taking them on a DS. After three hours  later you and Nick finally captured the right picture to put on the album.

A couple of days passed, and Nick had posted the cover as a promotion which was the picture of you on a DS with a bold light blue font that read “Digital Dreams”. 

(This is sorta what I was going for. obvious if you don't like it you can totally imagine something else. Also credit to whoever these beautiful people are , I am jealous.)

In the caption of the post Nick had credited all the people who worked on the album including you but did it a completely different way. “I also want to thank my amazing partner for helping me throughout the process and even being on the album front and in the song @ ur username  i love you.”

You were surprised at the amount of people who were so supportive of you guys, of course there were some people who weren't, but you couldn't care. You were just happy that Nick was happy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Larry-  you were getting some food for you and Larry because he said he hasn't eaten all day. You and Larry have been dating for almost a month and it was the best thing that has happened to you in a while. Everyday with him was so much fun and the group was accepting of you for dating their friend.

You had gotten him and you something small because Nick and Tanner wanted you and Larry to go with them to dinner later but since Larry didn't eat you just grabbed something while you were out so he wouldn't be so hungry later. You had stepped into the house looking for Larry but he was in his room doing the podcast with the others.

You knocked on his door which he called out for you to open “dude you didn't have to do that thank you so much” “no problem it wasn't a bother to me”. You walked up to his desk to set the food down “hi everyone” you waved to all of the boys in the call which they waved back. 

You stood there for a couple more minutes talking to them before you left to go be on your phone and leave them back with their work. Almost 45 minutes later Nick, Larry, and Tanner came out so you guys could go to dinner and have a fun night out. 

You woke up the next morning in Larry's bed since you didn't want to drive home  last night. You see Larry at his desk looking at the podcast comments, you walk up to him and put a hand on his shoulder “so do they love me” you let out a small laugh. “They love you alright, it seems like they love you more than me” “well in that case switch me jobs, i would love to make dumb jokes all day “. you guys shared a laugh and a few more while looking at the comments. You were glad that the people who loved him were happy that he was with you.

[wavytam]

This is the most primitive question ever but isn't Nami's tatoo a windmill and a tangerine but it's obviously an S? Can you make a post about Luffy's POV regarding SaNami? I wonder how people ship him with Nami when he's fully aware about Sanji's affection to Nami they make him look like a heartless douche

Hello, anon! I don't know how long this ask has been here, so I apologize if it took so long to answer! I didn't see this message before!

Anyway, about what you said.

First, about the tattoo: sorry, but I think it's just coincidental that it has an S shape. I think Oda could still use the drawing of the tattoo for something related to Sanji, though... maybe a pattern in something he wears. Idk. But I don't think Oda made Nami's tattoo with Sanji in mind. Maybe... I can't read his mind lol. It would be really nice if it was the case heh

About how Luffy sees Sanji and Nami: first, I'm not going to say that LN is impossible to happen, honestly.

In my opinion, the interactions Luffy and Nami had feel more like that of a brother and sister than that of a couple, but we never know when it comes to how Oda writes romance. So... Yeah. I still don't see it happening, though, for a series of reasons.

First, like you said, I'm pretty sure that Luffy, in his own way, is aware that Sanji has feelings for Nami. Not only did he witness key moments where Sanji expressed how important Nami is to him, but Luffy also incentives Sanji to help Nami.

Even without caring about romance, Luffy saw Sanji:

volunteer to help Luffy carry Nami up a mountain to find a cure,

almost die in an avalanche to prevent Nami from getting hurt

get so angry over Nami being kidnapped that he lit himself on fire

talk about how Nami is important to him during Whole Cake

So it's safe to say Luffy knows there's something there. And I think that he even incentivates Sanji to help Nami when it's needed.

You came up with an interesting point: considering the way Oda wrote things, specially how Sanji is so enamoured with Nami (again, more than any other woman) it would be weird to make Luffy end up with Nami, with him knowing about Sanji's feelings. I'm saying this in a writing perspective.

To add more fuel to the fire I remember how Oda clearly stated he doesn't care who Luffy is interested in - which is a question he gets frequently, apparently. And just like Oda doesn't care, Luffy also doesn't care about his own love life. His purpose was always to inspire people to seek freedom. I do think he might end up with someone at the end, but I don't think Oda is actively looking for opportunities to give Luffy romantic scenes in the manga.

Sanji's developement, on the other hand, always had to do with love and emotions. So the idea that Oda always planned a romantic stoyline for him is not farfetched, and the person he likes to write Sanji pursuing the most is Nami.

Again, I really don't know what is in that guy's mind, so maybe at the end he still pulls a uno reverse card and makes LN Canon and Sanji doesn't even care lol But I think it would be a really weird choice, considering the things you have pointed out and other moments we have in the manga.

Most of the LN moments can be interpreted as more of siblings growing a bond - rather than a couple having feelings. For SaNami, especially because of Sanji's side, we can't call what he does as sibling-ish at all, even if Oda calls the Strawhat a "family" and says their dynamic should be interpret as such, he was also the one who chose to make Sanji infatuated with Nami. There's also Robin, ofc, but Nami seems to be a lot more in Sanji's mind.

Once again, it all depends on Nami and how Oda writes her reacting to Sanji's pursuits or how she acts towards Luffy.

We have favorable and unfavorable moments, and every time, it was mostly because of how Oda wrote Nami. So let's wait and see.

[skyfallscotland]

Ok last Kingdom of Ash update and so, last Throne of Glass update ever! The relief is immeasurable. Let's do this!

Asterin 😭 I feel like that scene would have been so powerful if I didn’t know it was coming, but I had it spoiled for me a while ago

I did cry when Manon begged for Abraxos though 😭

Chaol and Dorian, Dorian crying 🥹🥹 the husbands are reunited!

I hate that there’s so much depression and suicidal ideation in this book but it’s never really addressed?

Aelin brought her husband with her, Chaol brought his 🥹🫡

RHYSAND hiiiiii! 👋🏼

I…kind of hate it when the woman has to give up her power to save the day, but it’s an SJM special I guess

“He adored his friend’s wife already. Likely would have married her, too, if he’d had the chance.” Look, you still can buddy, it seems like you want them both well enough 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’ll never understand the fascination SJM has with having her MC’s fucking in war tents surrounded by soldiers, honestly

She’s riding the staaaag 😭 honestly she is very thranduil coded I must say

Gavriel?! 😭 noooooo, not uncle kitty cat!

“Lorcan glanced at the castle, where he knew Elide was watching and said a silent farewell” oop, this is about to get awkward because she is sooo not being safe lmao

Elide getting stabby is very cute

Aww Dorian + Yrene getting murdery together, the throuple is thriving

What year did this come out? Because I feel like SJM might have watched Avengers: Endgame while writing the final scenes 😂

Sorry, when did they supposedly draw those? They were fighting on horseback??? I'm???

Lorcan and Elide are the cutest tbh and I’ve just realised I blanked right over the “and Lorcan did” 💀😂 I was clearly very engaged

“I hope it will wash off.” 💀

Poor Yrene, her mother in law’s asking to move in already 😂

“You could just marry each other, it would make it easier for you both, so you don’t need to pretend.” Oh yes, I do so love Yrene 😂

Look, I just feel...tired? Relieved? Let down? I don't know. I definitely think this would have been a more impactful ending had I not had the (arguably) few most major things spoiled for me. But I also feel like by 1/3 from the end I was just slogging it, waiting for it to be over. It felt like so much happened, but not much at all and I feel like having two 'big bads' kind of split the attention and made the end blow just so unsatisfying? Yay, happily ever after, but...I don't know.

I like the characters, don't get me wrong. Well, most of them (lol) but maybe that's why it's so disappointing? Because I do really like them. I think it was a bit of a case of doing so little with so much. There are so many stories being told that none of them really get the attention they could have, so many side characters that are so compelling but you don't hear much about. I don't know, it can be hard to bring all those threads together, so I think she did an ok job, it's just that in hindsight it's easy to say perhaps there were too many threads.

I also don't think she ever gives the space necessary to trauma and mental health. Like it's there, but it's never touched upon in the raw way it probably needs to be.

I don't know, I feel like I enjoyed the last couple of books more, but I'm still leaving the series feeling pretty meh about it, which is how I've felt pretty much the whole way through. Not terrible, but in no way lived up to the hype for me, personally.

[super-ion]

Been slowly working on a new story. Mostly mental work so far, but I got a couple snippets that I wanna share to try to get me motivated.

She grabs my arm and shoves me roughly against the wall of the alleyway. "What-" She slaps a hand against my mouth and leans in. "Soldiers. Shut up." She presses her body against mine, leaning in far too intimately. I hear the bootsteps and try not to think about how incredibly close her face is to mine. The soldiers are talking casually as they pass. One pauses, noticing us, but quickly continues, most likely made uncomfortable by the scene of our apparent romantic encounter. Something under her hood twitches and I can make out a long tapered ear that has come loose from her head wrap. The soldiers pass and she releases me to peer cautiously at the street. "We need to get out of the city," she mutters. "You're... you're void touched?" I stammer. She goes still and her ears quiver again. It's unmistakable this time, definitely not my imagination. Finally she scowls and flicks her hood back slightly to adjust the wrap on her head. "Yeah," she replies accusingly, "that's what happens when generations of people grow up breathing adamantine dust."

I watched Castle in the Sky for the very first time a couple months ago, then I went on a Treasure Island retelling kick. I also really want to write something gender bendy.

She shimmies out of the tight space, first revealing a fluffy bobbed tail, then a tight sleeveless shirt, filthy with sweat and grease. I can't help but stare at the lean wiry muscles of her arms and shoulders and the fine pattern of criss crossing scars in her skin. Then finally, her head pops out followed by a fist clenched around a wrench. "Alright!" she calls to the other end of the room, apparently not noticing me. "Let her rip!" I can't hear the sound of whatever levers are being thrown over the noise of the working engines, but I *feel* the thump as some mechanism rumbles to life. Then comes a lurch in my stomach and every hair on my arms stands up as the air comes alive. Her ears and tail quiver with excitement and she grins. She turns and jumps slightly at the sight of me. "Oh! Hey Fay!" She sees the bottle of water and makes grabby hands for it. She gulps greedily, her skin glistening with sweat from the hot engine room. I stare at the arch of her neck. There's a streak of dust smeared across her cheek. She lowers the bottle with a satisfied smack of her lips. "Whatya think?" she asks, tapping her wrench lightly on the metal shell of the machinery behind her. "Thaumaturgic heat exchanger, specially modified. Take care of her and she'll keep you flying forever." She tosses the wrench spinning and deftly catches it with a wink in my direction. I feel my face flush and I don't think it's from the heat of the engine room.

Also, it's got girls falling in love with girls

My breath is coming quicker and quicker now. The danger is past, but the tightness in my chest has only grown worse as the horror of my situation has set in. "Hey! Fay. Ya good?" My eyes jerk sharply towards Lexia. She's staring at me with a look of naked concern. How can she look at me like that, knowing what I am? "I'm... I'm not... My whole life is a lie. I'm not who I'm supposed to be. I'm not... I'm not anyone." The tightness in my chest is a physical pain now. How can I- Her hands are on my cheeks, pushing my face gently up to meet her soft brown eyes. "Hey," she says softly. "Yer... I dunno who yer supposed t' be, I never met that person. But I did meet you. Yer kind and beautiful and brave and you cook the best dumplings I've ever had and... gods, I ain't good at this sorta thing. I guess what I'm trying to say is I know *you* and I'm glad I got to meet *you*." I stand frozen in her gaze, not trusting myself to look away, lest I burst into tears. "You think I'm beautiful?" I ask, my voice a hoarse whisper. Her face colors. "Er... inside beautiful, like nice and caring and that sort of thing... I mean, yer outside beautiful too, no doubt about that... Er, I mean... ah... hmm..." She looks so flustered now, I can't help but laugh. I fall into an awkward embrace and I laugh and cry and it hurts. I bury my face in her shoulder and her arms close reassuringly around me.

[autumn-foxfire]

KID episode! The one where Heiji almost kisses Kaito. Also, in the episode Shinichi looks very unimpressed with Kaito that he did. I wonder why.

Heiji is giving credit to the wrong person though. Shinichi didn't do anything, that was Ran. And she did so because she can't actually voice her feelings for Shinichi (I wonder why <.<).

Shinichi's husband <3

I don't like how Gosho writes Kazuha and Heiji most of the time but I do appreciate Heiji being written as a normal teenage boy who shows normal attraction to others but still chooses Kazuha. It's not really as contrived as the main couple of this series.

Urgh. Please bring back the old OP with Shinichi dancing. It's better than this one. I always watch the OPs at least once to see if they have any good moments but this one was not a good one.

Hi, Komei. Welcome but I don't really care about you, I care about our favourite phantom thief.

I will remind people that Jirokichi has suggested this idea before and it was dismissed so Komei isn't special for suggesting it, in fact I'm pretty mad that they forgot he has suggested this before just to fluff up Komei.

Ran, the history nerd.

KAITO. My precious baby boy.

BABY BOY. Kaito is adorable, he heard the woman had been cheated and immediately changed his plans in order to return what belonged to her.

I love how Heiji is too busy thinking about Kazuha to care about Kaito while Shinichi only cares about his husband and is confused why his best friend isn't interested like he is (suprise surprise, Heiji actually likes his love interest).

Ran: if he saw that...

Me: What a flattering way to talk about you "returning" Shinichi's "feelings"

Ran is still more invested in the relationships around her than she has ever been in her own.

What I do appreciate about heists, as infrequent as they've become in the canon, is that they're showing Kaito's more human side, the one where he does make errors and does make plans at last second instead of being always ten steps ahead.

Heiji immediately regretting upsetting Kazuha and going back on his previous words is nice though and refreshing. You don't see this too often.

But of course they have to make into a competition with Shinichi. But Shinichi won't let you arrest his husband, Heiji.

Of course Kaito buys himself good dresses to wear. He wants to look pretty, thank you very much.

You know Shinichi noticed immediately that he switched with Kazuha and didn't say a word because he acts like he wants to arrest Kaito but he never actually tries properly to do so.

Kaito is incredibly, thank you for pointing it out.

Kaito is really using Heiji's attraction to Kazuha against him XD But he can't fool Shinichi when he's dressed as Ran (Shinichi did show his attraction to KID when he was though, I remember when he tried to look at his thighs).

Kaito is having too much fun.

Shinichi has definitely known that Kaito is Kazuha since his arrival and did absolutely nothing to inform anyone about it. In fact, him trying to drop a hint to Heiji just comes across as him being jealous over Kaito clinging to him. Yes I'm delusional.

Look at this unimpressed face.

I forgot Komei is related to Scotch.

He's so annoyed.

I love taking screenshots of Kaito.

Awww, poor Shinichi thinks Heiji knows. You've underestimated how attracted Heiji is to Kazuha and how he wants to start a relationship with her that he's overlooking things because all he thinks about is confessing to her.

Kaito: THIS ISN'T THE DETECTIVE I WANT TO KISS.

And Shinichi still looks unimpressed. Jealous boy.

Shinichi: So you noticed the broker was suspicious, but not that your girlfriend was suspicious.

Shinichi knows his husband well and that we went to return it to the real owner. And he still looks incredibly annoyed about this whole heist. Probably because his husband was about to be kissed by a person who was not him.

Shinichi: he's doing a good thing but he almost kissed another man and I am not impressed.

We know baby.

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG SUB] 🎈🍰Bday Special🍰🎈Odkrito.si podcast with Kris Guštin and Bojan Cvjetićanin (Joker Out)

You can find the original podcast in Slovenian here.

We made a readable transcript of the podcast (which is audio only) and you can find it under the cut.

Transcript:

I've got two out of the four hottest guys in Slovenia in front of me, Kris Guštin and Bojan Cvjetićanin from Joker Out. Welcome to the Odkrito podcast.

Kris: Hi. Can I correct you right now?

Please.

Kris: Out of five.

Out of five. Well, right. I've obviously forgotten another one then, haven't I. How does a young person like you two feel when they become, sort of, instantaneously famous? And now, I don't know, girls are fainting, going to concerts… etc. How does that feel?

Bojan: It's actually quite okay because in Slovenia fame doesn't exist. So you can live an almost completely normal life. Except that girls do faint, but that's also always nice.

Kris: Well, yeah, it's an interesting feeling. I have to say that I don't really have a concretely articulated feeling about this. For now, I'm diving back into it every day. Now we'll see if it ever gets too much or not.

Back in the day, when the Beatles were around, or we had Bijelo Dugme in the former Yugoslavia, girls used to go (to concerts) in large numbers, screaming, etc. …and they were being pulled by the sleeves, chased through the streets. Is this happening to you too?

Kris: On the streets, not really, if anything, we get asked to take a picture. When you're in public, and when you're not presenting as your public persona, they usually leave you alone, but at concerts it's crazier, because you're with the whole band together, and you're this unit that everybody's screaming for. It can be exhausting at those times, but it's actually also fun.

Are there any panties, bras… being thrown on stage?

Kris: Pearl necklaces.

Bojan: Yeah.

Has that happened yet?

Bojan: It has already happened, yeah.

It has already happened. So you're saying that Slovenian women are not as reserved as one would think?

Kris: No.

Bojan: I mean, technically we don't know if it's the Slovenian women who are throwing. But, yeah, let's say they're not.

Aha. One of the famous singers in Slovenia said that fame helps her to maybe get a nicer cut of beef from the butcher. You said earlier, Bojan, that there is no fame in Slovenia. Is this maybe one part where (fame) can help you?

Kris: I haven't gotten a nicer cut of beef at the butcher's yet.

Bojan: Okay, I did have a couple of nice bonuses like that, perhaps because of that. Some little things, but they come in handy every now and then.

Kris: What's cool is that everybody invites you to movie premieres. That's a pretty nice thing.

Bojan: I found it sweet when I was late returning an item to the shop once and the saleswoman was insisting that I couldn't exchange it any more, but she kept looking down at the floor when she was saying that, and then when she looked up she said 'Oh, it's you! Okay, well, I'll let it slide.'

That is to say that there are small advantages nevertheless. As far as the fame is concerned, if that's what we're talking about, Bojan you are the most exposed as a frontman. You're also the most frequently featured. Kris, you have a famous - at least in Slovenian terms - father. So there's that, too. You two are all over the place now. Maybe it's getting a bit annoying, almost? Isn't it?

Bojan: Yeah. We're getting sick of ourselves.

You're getting sick of yourselves?

Kris: I mean, we often ask ourselves, gee, are we going to do that thing as well? Because we're really everywhere, but in the end you have to know that you're looking at it from your perspective, that you're exposed to yourself only, whereas an average person, even with how much Bojan is in the media, sees him maybe once a week, if that. Now that he's in all the commercials, maybe there will be more.

Bojan: There will be a little bit more.

Now we really see you in the commercials, you hosted EMA Fresh, you hosted EMA. That duet of yours with Maja Keuc, where you two performed Zitti e Buoni - for which many said was much better than the original! Do you consider that an honour?

Bojan: I mean, I count myself honoured, I would never say it was better than original. But I'm very pleased that there was such a good response. I just set out on a mission to infiltrate the Slovenian media space to the maximum.

And you're doing a pretty good job of it now!

Bojan: Yeah, yeah, but I have to do more still!

What else have you got planned then?

Bojan: Fifty commercials.

Fifty commercials, do you have any special… we can talk to somebody here.

Bojan: No, no, I'm kidding.

Kris: By the summer he won't be famous anymore because everyone will get sick of him.

Bojan: Exactly. You've got five minutes.

Five minutes. Okay, now your five minutes is going on right now. I hope they'll stretch out a little bit. Two years ago, you were nominated for Zlata Piščal (Golden Flute), as Joker Out, for Best Newcomer. Then performers of the year. You're nominated for four again this year.

Bojan: For three…

So for band of the year, and two… album of the year?

Kris: Artist, song - with two songs - I guess that makes four - and also for album of the year.

Also for album of the year!

Kris: Yeah yeah, quite an honour, I have to say. But I think I speak for both of us if I say that if we get the album, we'll be more than happy. Because we've been saying for a year or two now, 'Okay, now we've got artist of the year, newcomer, and now, because we've been doing this album for three years, it would be really sick to get that as well.'

It would be good to get the album as well. Then all you're missing is the Golden Flute Award for lifetime achievement. And that's when, in…?

Both: In one year!

Already?

Bojan: Our five minutes are running out, we're at 4.5 now, so next year.

So is this the end of Joker Out or what? Do you have that plan?

Bojan: Yeah, Kris and I are going solo. Duo solo!

Kris: Disco duo solo!

Oh, change of style and everything.

Bojan: Yeah.

Okay, that'll be interesting to see how that thing develops. But - because this is probably just a joke - what's your view on the future, let's say? Do you see yourselves in 10 years still in a band - in the same band - or maybe even in 20, 30…?

Kris: I don't know, I don't think that far ahead. I mean, whenever I did, I was like, 'Come on stop thinking, you can't know anything yet.' I think the less expectations we have for the future, the better it will be, but so far it's going very well and I think we're trying to make it last as long as possible. I wouldn't dare to claim what will happen, though.

What about you, Bojan?

Bojan: Well, I'll be more optimistic. I kind of always wanted, or rather, when we started this story, I always imagined that it would be something that would last. It will last until it feels good for us in reality, right. When it stops feeling good for us, when it stops being a pleasure… in reality, the only thing we don't want is to end up doing it just so we can live off it.

Kris: Yeah yeah, and that's why I'm maybe a little bit more pessimistic about it. Because I don't want to determine my own destiny like that, and then we end up doing something that we don't like to do. Which - it seems to me - happens a lot with some performers.

That they continue to force it-

Kris: They work just because they became 'somebody' and they just continue like that. I think that's why, for example, Duft Punk, who went their separate ways a year ago, I think that was… I mean, I was sorry to see them go their separate ways, but if it was the right decision I understand and I respect that.

Bojan: Exactly.

Well, then you two see yourselves as, say, Mick Jagger, at 70 on stage, but only if it's all still shagadelic?

Bojan: Yeah, but, I mean, ultimately, even if it doesn't happen, we're friends first and foremost, and I'm sure that even if at some point this story came to an end, we'd still be working in various forms, sort of together, or at least be some sort of supporting pillar for each other at some point.

Kris: For example, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers have accepted and thrown out one guitar player three times already, so.

Bojan: He's just come back.

Kris: Yeah, he's just come back.

So there's all these other scenarios, but basically, the main focus for, let's say, the two of you in the future is still music?

Both: Yeah.

Kris, seeeing as you are a chemical engineer, ah, no, an Engineer of Chemical Technology, you (Bojan) are a sociologist or I don't know if you have graduated already?

Bojan: No, this year.

Okay, so fingers crossed. I think you once said Bojan that if you were a professor, you would be a professor at the Poljane Grammar School, is that still true?

Bojan: I said that the only profession that I would be happy to do, apart from being a musician, would be a professor of sociology and I would prefer that to be at the Poljane Grammar School.

Why there?

Bojan: This is my high school, which I have really fond memories of, and I feel like I could take over the theater club, and those kinds of things, like being that cool professor.

Okay, so a cool professor, a professor that we like. What about you Kris, alternative to music?

Kris: Well, I'll put it this way: chemical engineering for me is more or less just on paper. Even if the music thing doesn't work out, I don't know if I'll ever really be doing that. Now I'm going to say I don't really have an alternative. The music comes first and I think it's going to stay that way. I don't know if anything will change, but the side activities are always there.

For example?

Bojan: Football on Sundays

Kris: No, one interesting thing that I talk with Martin, our bassist, about, is that maybe one day - because that's part of the music business as well - we could have our own record label. That's maybe something that we, or I, would be interested in, to get involved in this kind of support industry in music. Otherwise, I really have no idea what I'm going to do if the music thing doesn't go through.

In a way, you're still learning as you go along, given that you've now been 3, 4 years… What, 6? But out of that, you're a bit more at the front in the last 2, 3 years. You're still getting a bit of an introduction to the music industry. What's your opinion of the music industry in Slovenia?

Bojan: Yeah there's a lot of room for progress. What's absolutely happening is that music has again become kind of important for young people in Slovenia.Young people are very aware that Slovenian content creation in all areas is extremely, extremely important and that music is gaining in value, which was definitely not always the case. For the last 10, 15 years, I would dare to say that music has been treated very much as a hobby activity.

People simply just perceived it that way as well, so I think it's all going in the right direction now, but it would definitely be nice to do a lot more in the sense of professionalisation of music.

Is this still lacking in our country?

Bojan: Yes.

Kris: Yeah, it's quite interesting, this music business in Slovenia, because on the one hand it seems to me that all the musicians want to be taken very seriously, want to be serious professional musicians, and make a living out of it, but on the other hand, they have a full time job during the day and they can't really dedicate as much time as they could. That's why our producer, Žarko Pak, is always complaining why there aren't many good instrumentalists in Slovenia. It's because no one wants to spend as much time as it would take to become a really good instrumentalist of their era, by just practicing their instrument, because then it's like this: He goes to work and then he comes home and he has to get the kids from kindergarten, and then maybe he has half an hour in the evening, before he watches the daily news, to fiddle around with his instrument a little bit.

But there's one little vicious circle in all this, because you've got to live off of something somehow. How do you two manage to do it? I guess you two are investing most into music now? Music is way ahead of all the projects, let's say. Well, Kris, at least you've finished your education, you (Bojan) have yet to graduate. How do you manage to juggle the two together, how is that going?

Bojan: I think, in principle, we're really a very diligent band, as far as that goes, given that when I finish, we'll all have university degrees. And it was actually very much as Kris said. I mean, school was sort of a priority, but it was a very divided priority, in this case with music. Because really, besides that minimal effort that we had to put in to get the school part done, all the other effort, and indeed all the resources that we were raising as we went, in one way or another - like with student work and such - all of that was invested into the band. And we have a different starting point anyway, we can't speak for someone who is, let's say, in their 30s, because we are students after all, or rather, when we started, we were high school students. We live at home or we used to live at home, so that financial part was a little bit different for us as we were very lucky. But anyway, we ourselves, until practically very recently, even though we've been kind of in the media and presenting as successful - there were still more times where we had to go to ATM to withdraw the money we've earned to cover something, than to withdraw the money we've earned to spend it. So, yes.

But the future for you then is probably in music, to live off that then, isn't it? If not exactly from Joker Out, then from whatever else - from anything in the music industry. Is that possible in Slovenia at all?

Bojan: Yes, it is. But it's very, very difficult to get there.

Kris: It's just that, I mean, if you want to make a living exclusively from authorship, there are only 10, 20 people who do that. You have to be a really top-notch author, writer, arranger, whatever. The other big source of income are also concerts. The more gigs you do the better. Basically, nowadays when performers are looking at how they're going to survive financially over the year, the first thing they have to look at is 'let's do as many gigs as possible'. I think for us that will probably be the best thing as well.

Bojan: I have to correct myself in retrospect, actually. This exactly is the problem: It's possible, but there's quite a lot of other side activities that have to be included that don't directly involve music. I mean, they come with the music, but they are not part of the music. That is to say, you can make a living out of concerts and authorship and things like that, but it's more of a 'barely getting by' than anything else. So, on our own, there is a lot to be done here to raise the bar.

But can you imagine what it's like to live like that then. You have to keep going to the studios, you have to keep working on it. Where is the free time then?

Bojan: Well, where's the free time if you're in an office for 8 hours and you have to be with bitter people and bitter clients or whoever it is you're working with. At least here you're in the studio, you're creating something, you're with the people you love.

Kris: I might disagree with you on that. I'm just going to say, there's a certain rumour that musicians have a job like this where we can choose our own schedule. This is good, however, there's a catch: if you can choose your own schedule you also have to be available all the time, basically. So you have a very blurred line between work, leisure, workplace, home, studio, etc. It all becomes the same thing. I have a second hand experience in that, because I just see my father, how he lives solely from the music. He may be at home all day in the morning, but then he may have to be in the studio until 3 in the morning, because they are recording something, and because our producer, who is the same as our own, is a night owl or whatever you want to call him.

Bojan: Yeah, but then it just depends on whether you're comfortable with that or not.

Kris: Yeah, yeah.

Bojan: But what Kris said is just absolutely true. You don't really have a private life. It almost doesn't exist because of the fact that there is constantly something.

Kris: But you don't realize it until it's too late.

And as young people, are you two ready for something like that?

Bojan: For now, yes.

Kris: For now everything still works fine.

Does it all look a bit romantic, or not?

Bojan: It's honestly lost a lot of the romanticism for me, but it's still much more romantic than having to wake up in the morning and be on a fixed schedule. We are different, I know that Kris would for sure prefer to have everything neatly planned.

Kris: I really like to be on time, I don't like to be late, but I also don't like to get up early, so I'm somewhere in the...

From 11 onwards.

Kris: From 11 to… a 4 hour workday!

Bojan: Like this, yes!

That would be ideal wouldn't it? Probably for a lot of people. A musician's job is a creative job. What is the most beautiful part of it for you two?

Kris: The most beautiful? Yeah, it depends. I'll put it this way. For me, if we can divide the process of the song creation phase, the first thing is that somebody writes a song, it's usually Bojan or sometimes me as well. It's written at home on the acoustic (guitar), with some melody. Then, the second phase is that you bring it to the rehearsal space, you show it to the other band members and we do it together. Then it's the studio. For me, the arrangment part, when you coordinate with everybody on what you want, how you want the whole song to sound, that can be a very fun part, if you manage to do it quickly, if you're quick to understand what you want from one another. But if not, it can be the most torturous part. Although the studio part can be quite torturous as well, so let's just say that my favourite part on average is when I'm writing a song at home.

Bojan: I would say that the arranging part is my favourite. I mean, it's very nice when you write a song, but it's also always cool when you do it together with the band, because it always goes into some twist that you didn't expect. Almost always.

Kris: That's true.

Bojan: But what Kris said is the double-edged sword of arranging. When it's going well, there is just such… Some kind of dopamine is released and we're all so happy, we all love each other. But if it's not going well, it goes into some such bizarre depression, in fact, that when we say, 'Okay, break,' you feel like we're at odds with each other.

Kris: Yeah, yeah.

Bojan: Literally like that. We're not at odds with each other, of course we're not, but...

You're a bit sullen, aren't you? It's not a good feeling, is it?

Bojan: No, it's really miserable actually. So that really crushes you and sucks out your energy for the whole day. But it's then so much nicer, when it works out. So I'd still choose that part.

Okay. When are the lyrics made? In the morning, before noon, in the evening?

Bojan: For me, in the evening.

Kris: For me, also more in the evening.

The night has its own power.

Bojan & Kris: Yes.

Kris: Why, because it seems to me that in the morning you're still fresh, and you're still in the mood to deal with life, and then towards the evening, when you've had, I don't know, a hard day, then you start going, 'Gee, I wanna write something now, because I'm getting sick of it all'.

Bojan: My brain doesn't work at all in the morning. I'm pretty useless until the afternoon.

Most creators are, I'll say, night owls. There are very few who create during the day, or start early in the morning, sit down at, I don't know, somewhere, and start.

Bojan: Because the night is really… Things happen at night that, I'll say, sweeten the life. I mean, you go out at night, you go dancing at night. In the evening you probably had your first kiss or something...

Kris: The concerts are also in the evenings. Even if you didn't want to be a night owl, you can't do that as a musician. Unless you're going to be performing in community centres at 8 p.m.. But that's… We also have schedules where we go on stage at 1 in the morning and then that affects you for at least the next 2-3 days.

Is that exhausting?

Kris: Again, it depends when.

Bojan: It's nice.

It's nice? Okay, you're still enjoying it. I was talking to a Croatian singer recently, Goran Karan, and he said that he doesn't perform in clubs anymore because he goes to bed at 10 o'clock at night and everybody else is partying.

Bojan: But Goran Karan has done his part. I mean, the evening part of it, don't get me wrong. He's really really done a lot.

Well, you're still on that path, aren't you?

Bojan: Yeah. He can afford not to play clubs anymore. Now, that was terrible, I didn't mean it like that! (laughter)

Kris: It's interesting, because for example now. when we play with older, more established acts, they always tend to put us more towards the end, and I imagine that's also because we're young, and we don't really have any demands on when we want to go on stage, whereas these older bands, I know they've got some requirements that they don't want to go on stage after 10, and you can't really blame them.

Going back to the songwriting: your songs are kind of unique in our musical space, they're a little bit different, I'll say, mostly very lyrical. Do they come from personal experiences?

Kris: Yes, exclusively.

Bojan: From personal and from the experiences of people who are - I'm speaking for myself - who are close to me, and then I try to internalize these certain feelings or events from their lives.

Kris: It's the same for me. Though I haven't really - like Bojan said - written a song about somebody else that I sympathize with. I've more often than not just written songs because I wanted to clarify something inside myself.

But then is the song that is made, let's say the first version, the same as the one we hear afterwards?

Bojan & Kris: No.

Bojan: In the vast majority, no. It happens, but it's not-

Kris: Which one was done in one sitting?

Bojan: Gola practically hasn't changed since the moment it was written. For the whole version, ours.

Kris: But there were also like 3 choruses in between.

Bojan: Yeah, but not for Joker Out. That was before, right.

Kris: Oh, that was before.

Bojan: 'Omamljeno telo' was written whole.

Kris: Okay, okay. It's just that 'Omamljeno telo' was also, let's say, if I remember correctly, written in English at first, right?

Bojan: But all of them are now.

Kris: Well, yeah, okay. But here again the line is a bit blurred, because it happens a lot of times that a text is written in English and then-

Right in the beginning?

Kris: Yes, in the beginning.

Bojan: The second album is practically -I wrote all of it in English at the beginning. Because I am able to say gibberish, just enough to make it sound good and to make it singable. And then I add-

And then what do you do, a translation into Slovene or what?

Bojan: No.

Kris: You have to - you have to separate yourself from the original meaning - because it's just some nonsense anyway.

But then isn't something lost in the song itself, in the lyrics? The message, or something like that?

Bojan: Well, not really, because the basics of the song will remain- It's going to touch on the same themes. But the words will be completely different. Because in English - firstly I don't have a complete mastery of English, neither do I feel it enough to be able to- Let's say, to feel impacted /myself/ by what I have written. Actually, these are just some phrases that connect the melody as much as possible, whereas in Slovene, I go deeper into what I feel, what I want to pour out of myself and onto the paper.

So the melody comes first and then the lyrics, or how?

Bojan: For the first album, when I was writing, I was really writing simultaneously. It was always lyrics along with the melody. Then things could change in the studio, or something, but in principle I did those at once. When I brought it to the guys, I already had a rough outline of what it was going to be, whereas now we're doing a lot of songs that are already aranged, for the second album, but they don't have Slovenian lyrics yet, at all.

Kris: And that's not a bad thing either. Even if you do the lyrics at the start which you're not required to stick to throughout, and then you update the song first with how it's going to sound with the arrangement, and then you influence it once again. When you see how it sounds when the band plays it, you can adjust the lyrics.

Bojan: Exactly.

Kris: You adapt the lyrics to that and you get some new inspiration.

Bojan: Yeah, and in fact also with the lyrics: as he said: Rhythmically, you can play with it. You see that some of the things that we play with the band, in English, rhythmically don't fit together that well, and that you can shorten something somewhere. It's nice, basically. Well, I'll say that when I finish writing it.

You're still sticking to Slovenian lyrics for now, that's what you said earlier, Bojan, that the Slovenian-

Bojan: Yes, yes, the lyrics will be in Slovenian, or actually, there are Serbo-Croatian adaptations that are already happening.

Oh, into Serbo-Croatian. What about English versions for a wider…?

Kris: Not yet.

Bojan: Not at the moment.

You're not thinking about it?

Bojan: No. Unless we're just going to record these ones that are already-

But maybe they would be hits.

Bojan: Maybe.

Kris: For all the songs we've done so far, we could put out some early English version.

But are there any 'dirty thoughts' of maybe, at some point, going outside of Slovenia? Well now you've kind of covered the Serbo-Croatian speaking area a little bit, But further, Europe, the world, America, Wembley, Madison Garden… I don't know, something like that.

Bojan: Honestly, for me, because I am aware of how many artists there are in the world who are present in these markets that we're talking about and who have the ability to have gigs at clubs and be everywhere, like we are doing it here, it seems more often than not impossible to me. Secondly, it seems to me that it's precisely this lyricism of ours, and the fact that we feel what we are saying - I think that we would lose that, wouldn't we? If we went to create just in English now, at least I personally couldn't do that. Whereas in Serbian, I found that it actually flows very well, because it's also my mother tongue, so I can really put the same emotion on the paper. Actually, if we managed to go to the Balkans, I would be extremely happy.

You're working on that, aren't you?

Bojan: Yes.

Okay. Have you ever done any performances in, I don't know, Serbia, Croatia, Bosnia?

Kris: We've done a concert in Croatia, but it was for a Slovenian audience.

Oh, for a Slovenian audience?

Kris: That doesn't count for now.

Bojan: Yes. But this year it's in the plan. We have a couple of shows booked in Serbia, so.

Kris: Yeah, and also it could be that at least one song on the new album will be in Serbian from the begining

Bojan: And that is?

Kris: 'Ona'?

Bojan: Oh. Yes, indeed!

And if it kicks off for you there, what happens then? Some Slovenian authors then suddenly start to write only in Serbo-Croatian or Croatian or Serbian. Can that happen to you?

Bojan: Well, you know what I'll tell you. I think it would be very nice to introduce a little bit of Slovene to the Balkans, because, again, it's not that different. Whatever they say, that it is, it's not like they don't understand us at all there. Because if we understand them, I suppose they could understand us, too. So it seems to me that now maybe the world is a little more open to foreign languages - because no one understands Spanish either, but they all sing, and so on - so maybe they could try to sing a little bit in Slovene, too.

Kris: That would be quite interesting.

Bojan: That would be very interesting.

Well, when we were still in the former Yugoslavia, it kind of worked. Now that there's separate countries, it's a bit more difficult, isn't it?

Bojan: As far as I know, Predin's lyrics were-

Predin's* lyrics were sung, Videosex's* lyrics were sung, and so on. There were a bunch of them that were also sung in Slovene, but nowadays there's this time distance, secondly the linguistic distance has become greater, in a way. Will you be ambassadors of the Slovene language in the former Yugoslavia then?

*Zoran Predin, Slovenian singer-songwriter from Maribor. In the 1980s, he was the front man of the new wave rock band Lačni Franz.

*Videosex was a Yugoslav synth-pop band formed in Ljubljana in 1982.

Bojan: Maybe we will break this barrier, right?

Kris: I mean, I've always had the feeling, apart from the language barriers - maybe I'm wrong - but that, I don't know, Croats, Serbs… don't like Slovenians for some historical reasons. We were the first ones to leave Yugoslavia, and whatnot, so now they won't listen to anything in Slovene because-

But I guess that's getting a little bit lost in this younger generation, isn't it?

Kris: Yeah, it is a little bit. It's faded a little bit.

That negative connotation, maybe.

Kris: I hope so.

The songs that you have are often love songs. Or, I can say, almost all.

Bojan: Quite a lot, yes. Although 'Barve Oceana' isn't.

'Barve Oceana' isn't, but others are, especially 'Umazane Misli', to me is one of the most beautiful love songs at the moment, I have to admit that. What do your girlfriends, if you have them, say to that?

Kris: What, on the fact that they're love songs?

(What do they say) about these songs?

Bojan: I don't have a girlfriend, so Kris, if you have a girlfriend?

Kris: Yeah, I mean, I, when I had a girlfriend, when I wrote a song for her, she was infinitely happy, and when we also put one of those songs on the album, it means a lot to her.

Bojan: 'Omamljeno telo'. (laughs).

Kris: No… I don't know what else to say about it, I doubt anyone would be disappointed…

But do you ever say a line or something to your girlfriend? In a poem you pour yourself out, whereas in a speech, when you're talking… Are you being poetic?

Kris: Maybe it's really easier if you have something difficult to say, maybe it's really easier if you're like 'I wrote this song'. It flows better than it would in a normal conversation, so I… When I wrote something new, I've always shown it to my girlfriend, like 'Come on, listen to this, listen to that, is it good or not?' and then she always gave her opinion.

Kris: And then I told her what I really wanted to say through it.

You, Bojan, don't have a girlfriend, but you write love songs. Is that then a longing or what?

Bojan: Yeah, longing I would say is a good word. Actually, I think love is a kind of strange thing that we can feel quite often, not necessarily in its full form, but, I don't know, you can be walking down the street and see something that you fall in love with for a moment. And you can feel things that you can then put into a song later on. That's why there are also songs that are emotionally charged. They're charged with many different forms of emotion, for the very reason that they don't come from one experience in particular, but they encompass, in a way, all the love experiences that you're constantly picking up on. So yeah, I don't know. I would say that maybe, when I'm walking around, I'm always longing to fall in love with something or someone.

Okay. Then that's a future thing for the time being. We're hoping it happens.

Bojan: Me too.

So, are the songs going to change then?

Bojan: I mean, they'll definitely change. Every major thing in life changes the way you express yourself and the way you live and the way you exist in general, so yeah, for sure.

How would you describe yourselves, are you primarily musicians or lyricists?

Bojan: I'm not musically trained, and I'm also quite hasty, so I'd say I'm a lyricists rather than a musician.

Kris: I'd say I'm a musician before I'd say I'm a lyricists.

So you're kind of a combination then, at least the two of you together, aren't you? That goes together then. But what about the other members, do they also contribute something to the lyrics? The two of you are kind of the main ones in that.

Kris: So far it's just us writing the lyrics. The others, I don't know if they even have the desire to do that kind of thing. But they are very, very good musicians, the others. Let's say that our other guitarist, Jan, if I'm somewhere in between a musician and a lyricists, Jan is… Much more of a musician than me, I would say. Martin and Jure, the drummer and the bassist, are also musicians in that full sense. The two of us are somewhere in between.

Bojan: Right. Lost in Translation.

But together, the sum is greater than its individual members. Which is great. You, as a band, if we go back in history a little bit, you came into existence with… You've had a bit of a turbulent history. Is that a good thing?

Bojan: Kind of.

Kris: We were putting ourselves together a little bit.

You've been building the band for a while? Well, turbulent… there weren't any arguments, were there?

Bojan: The bass player and I were in… We made the first band back in 2012. And then Matic, the drummer, joined us and he was with us until last year. And then I went to a gig at Prulček bar in the evening, where Jan and Kris were in the band, and I wished I could have guitarists like that in the band. And I called Martin. Martin already knew Kris, because Kris went to the same school as him.

Bojan: And then we sort of very quickly got them to join our band. And that's when Joker Out was formed. That was in 2016.

And then you got the name from the internet. I read that somewhere, that you agreed on it very quickly.

Kris: We just wrote all kinds of stuff.

Bojan: It was during the May 1st school break. I remember I was in Banja Luka. Nobody except Kris knew Jan at all when we started the band, so the band was basically just a Messenger chat on Facebook.

You were virtually-

Bojan: Then we were getting to know each other in there, and we were writing down what name we wanted to have, and something like 1,000 options came up. And then there was something about Joker, and then Kris said Out. I don't know why 'Joker Out'. So, yeah.

Was that a little bit alcohol-induced?

Bojan: No, we were 17!

Oh, yeah, 17, you weren't allowed yet. Of course.

Bojan: But we don't drink now either (laughs).

So the name itself as such, Joker Out, doesn't have any deeper meaning?

Bojan: No, it simply sounds good.

Kris: For a while in the beginning we were still fooling ourselves, so to speak, wanting to find some meaning retroactively. Like, I don't know, you pull a card out from somewhere, nonsense like that. But now we're just like 'well it just sound good, it doesn't have to mean anything.' Because even when you look at what 'Big Foot Mama' means? Nothing, and in fact if you heard it out of context you'd think it was the most stupid name in the world, but because they've given context to the name with their music, it sounds good to you, and you just don't ask what it is at all.

Bojan: I was reassured when I heard that Alex Turner, the lead singer of Arctic Monkeys, finds the name Arctic Monkeys terrible, while we all love it.

Kris: I mean, I had a lot of people saying, 'Joker Out, wow, that's a sick name'. But I didn't think it was either.

Well, because some people are always explaining the history of their name… If it has some prior context, right?

Kris: I mean, it can have…

Well, after all, it's just a story, the one that's the context.

Bojan&Kris: Exactly. Yes."

Shagadelic rock n roll- Before I read what that 'shagadelic' was supposed to mean- I knew it from Austin Powers. But I kind of interpreted it as 'getting layed' rock 'n' roll, right?

Kris: Getting laid…

Bojan: Getting laid rock 'n' roll.

But it has a slightly different connotation, doesn't it…?

Kris: I think- You actually got it right!

Bojan: That, the getting laid part, is just one part of it all. But yeah, we're, we're big Austin Powers fans, and we felt that his mojo was the coolest thing in the world, and that, if for no other reason, at least we wanted to feel like we had that mojo. And then, in 2017, when we won Špil Liga*, we jokingly said that we were 'shagadelic rock'n'roll'.

*A student band competition organized by Kino Šiška.

Kris: We said this back then?

Bojan: Yeah yeah, in the first interviews that we had we said 'Yeah, shagadelic rock 'n' roll'. And then it really caught on, so that's great.

Kris: We didn't really think it would catch on at all.

Okay, but now it exists- Maybe it'll become a new genre of music! Kris: I don't know.

In the history of rock and roll - shagadelic rock and roll.

Kris: Yeah, that would be cool.

Bojan: And that it's only us.

Wikipedia, and it's just Joker Out.

Kris. Yeah we'll see if in 10, 15 years time when somebody's like 'Yeah, we're also shagadelic rock and roll' That would be sick.

What would be the characteristics of shagadelic rock'n'roll then?

Kris: I don't even know if it's that much in the music… It's in the music, it's a certain energy that I wouldn't be able to describe with words right now, but also with everything that comes with it. I think, for example, clothing is a big part of what you would call 'shagadelic rock'n'roll', the energy on stage would be a big part of shagadelic rock'n'roll for me.

Bojan: It seems to me that a very big part of this shagadelic rock'n'roll is being unbothered. They kind of throw this criticism our way constantly, that 'this isn't rock, this isn't I don't know what' so really, if somebody's watching this and they think that, we really don't care. Like, we don't give a flying f*ck. So, that's one part of shagadelic rock 'n' roll, that we just do what we like, if it's rock 'n' roll it is, if it's pop it's pop, if it's disco it's disco. That's what shagadelic is.

I wrote that down somewhere. 'Shagadelic' actually exists, it's in the English language dictionary, in Webster's.

Kris: Really?

There's 'shagadelic', which means…

Bojan: (in English) 'A member of the band Joker Out'.

Not exactly. It means 'sexy, especially in a psychedelic or retro way'.

Bojan: Okay. I mean, that's the retro part that he said, these clothes and so on. We rock that style, so yes.

So. We're almost out of time, so Kris and Bojan thank you so much for being guests on the podcast. See you at the concert sometime?

Bojan: See you whenever you want at the concerts.

Okay, the next one is now operation Križanke*?

*The Križanke Outdoor Theatre is a theatre in Ljubljana, mostly used for summer festivals. Joker Out held a concert there on 9th of September 2022, where they introduced songs from their second album, Demoni.

Bojan: Oh no, the next one is already in-

Kris: In Brežice.

Bojan: This Saturday in Brežice.

This Saturday, that is-

Bojan&Kris: But it's already sold out.

Is it already sold out? So we missed that one then. But we still have a chance in Križanke.

Bojan: Right. 9th of September (2022). I think you now have a few more days or so to get your tickets. So yeah, see you, have a good one, have a good time. What else?

Kris: Thanks for the invitation.

Bojan: Yes. Thank you for the invitation.

And the album will be good, won't it?

Bojan: Oh, no, the album will be extraordinary.

Excellent. Thank you very much.

Kris: Thank you.

- - - - -

Translation by @kurooscoffee , proof read by TWT @klámstrákur and TWT @janpetehoe

[theawkwardanglophile]

What are your top 5 episodes??

I should have seen this coming! 😂 Thanks for the ask, Sarah, and I’m sorry I didn’t get this out sooner. My brain was mush the past couple of days and I wanted to give this my full attention when I made my decisions. And, man, I DELIBERATED on this! My criteria were episodes that were Chenford-heavy, so some eps that have like one big amazing Chenford scene (4x18 for example) were left out. And I'm sure this might change at some point, but I feel pretty good about where everything landed for now. So here we go….

5x12 Death Notice This ep just has EVERYTHING: the end of their era of riding together, being flirty at work, ridiculous married vibes (the lint picking??), LUCY LESSON (how did it take them 5 years to come up with the greatest term to counter Tim Tests? Bring back Lucy Lessons in S6!), the lengths they both will go to for each other, Tim's talk with Grey, and of course, NAKED TIME. And that doesn't even cover all of it. I just love it to pieces.

5x10 The List The absolute high this episode gave me, after a full month of bliss already with them being canon. The most delicious rom-commy cold open that I could have hoped for, trying on their entire closets and then being so painfully, adorably awkward on their date. Then Tim and Lucy being ANYTHING but subtle at work, which is just so hilarious considering they can be so stealthy when needed on the job, but trying to hide their relationship? Umm, y'all weren't fooling anyone. Maybe Nolan. And the precious first/second date at the end. The GRANDKIDS, the SMILES, the KISS. Perfection!

4x09 Breakdown An Eric Winter master performance. I just wanted to hug Tim throughout the ep. Luckily, Lucy was there for that job, and what a hug it was! Tim lets go completely and sinks into her, all his walls down. He felt so safe with her. I love how her opinion of him means everything, and she was quick to offer reassurance (I truly believe her words in 4x08 were just a slip of the tongue). But I also love how Lucy is just doing life with Tim, the things that matter. Where was Ashley, hmmm? It's Lucy that's there helping with such a significant job of remodeling Tim's childhood house, and doing some wonderful future sister-in-law bonding with Genny. Also, Tim and Lucy power-walking through the station in plain clothes? A VIBE.

4x12 The Knock The most insane double date ever? My gosh, this ep has so much fun stuff in it, so many little details, that even though Lucy started dating Chris, and Ashley decided to turn a blind eye and continue dating Tim, after watching this I had never been more convinced that Chenford was endgame. Every part of the double date is gold, and Tim and Lucy's scenes on the job beautifully showcase how seamlessly they work together (and their total lack of personal space). LOVE IT.

2x13 Follow-Up Day This ep was an early fave, and still holds a special place. TIM GAVE UP A PROMOTION FOR LUCY. Way before Court Liaison there was THIS. Lucy is his biggest cheerleader this whole ep (and, you know, always), and Grey's knowing looks during the test score scene is *chef's kiss*. And the scene outside the bakery is everything. Their faces say so much! They were being such flirts in S2, to the point that I originally wondered if they might actually start something later that season. THAT'S how powerful that scene was.

Honorable mentions:

2x11 Day of Death I know, I know, and part of me feels like it should be in the top five. I mean, it is without a doubt one of the best episodes, if not the best, they ever made. It's so powerful, and was the turning point in my shipping, because I'd only been mildly intrigued by Chenford in a few S2 eps, but DOD cemented me as a full-fledged shipper (little did I know it would become my best shipping experience of all time). But it can be a hard one to watch, and I just love those others a tiny bit more.

5x08 The Collar There are so many moments to love in this ep. It truly changed everything with Tim and Lucy, and the more I've seen their talk outside at the end, the more it grows on me. It really is so them. Even though they become CANON in this one, I think because there is so much clueless Chris, and the tough scene with the first bomb victim, it just didn't quite make it to the top 5.

3x09 Amber Anyone who was around when this aired knows we all lost our minds pretty good with this ep. It grew on me more and more over time, and I love it so much. The whole confession scene still might be the longest uncut Chenford scene...ever? Just them talking in the shop. It's insanely wonderful! And this ep gave us Parking Garage Face and the beginning of a brand new chapter with Tim and Lucy.

5x01 Double Down Editing to add this one, because I started questioning everything, and it did NOT feel right to leave this one out. What a fantastic collection of moments. The airplane kiss is top tier, HANDS, the gorgeous shots of them in the car in Vegas, it doesn't feel like pretend, etc. And even though I'm so glad they didn't cheat, I'll never be over the fact SHE OPENED THE DOOR FOR HIM AND HE WENT IN.

[lucy90712]

Part 2 of the Gavin parade story please!!!

Part 1

WC: 2.4k

You: hi this is y/n you gave me your number during the parade earlier thank you for the compliment by the way

How cringe I can't believe that's the first message I sent but it's too late to do anything now I'll just have to deal with it and hope that if he replies he doesn't think I'm weird. Oh god what if he never replies and I look like an idiot for thinking that the Pablo Gavi would ever actually want to talk to me. I bet the whole team is laughing about the fact that I actually text him. I don't think I can ever step foot in the camp nou ever again. Just as I was spiralling my phone dinged so I scrambled to the other end of the sofa where I'd left it only to see that one of my best friends had text me asking about today. As I was about to put my phone back down another notification came through this time it was actually from Pablo. 

Gavi: wow I'm surprised you actually text me sorry if that was weird I just had to find a way to talk to you 

You: no it wasn't weird at all it surprised me but it was a nice surprise 

Gavi: good I assume you are a Barca fan so would you like to come to our next home game I would love to meet your properly

You: I would love that thank you so much 

~~~~~~~~~~

I always get stressed a few hours before a Barca game especially when I'm going to the game but this time I barely slept as I can't stop thinking about the fact that I'm actually going to properly meet Pablo. I'm really excited as we have been talking over text and have FaceTimed a few times just to get to know each other a bit more and he's the sweetest person but him being so nice coupled with the fact that he's so attractive has meant I've developed a slight crush on him. This is a problem as although he called me beautiful in the message he wrote I feel like he just wants to be friends I mean he has other things to focus on he doesn't need a girlfriend right now let alone one who has her own set of problems to deal with. Our friendship so far has been great and he's a lovely person to talk to so I don't want to ruin that by giving away how I feel and making him feel uncomfortable. 

Thankfully I don't have work today so I have been able to spend the day worrying about this evening without having to worry about work too. Having nothing to do has meant that I have spent far too long deciding on what to wear to the game. I couldn't decide whether to wear a Barcelona jersey or normal clothes as I want to support my team but I don't want to look like an idiot in front of Pablo. In the end I found a good compromise and put on a normal outfit and then put a jersey on over the top as that way I can change if I need to. Then I spent way too much time deciding whether I should put on some makeup and do my hair which ended up with me having a small bit of makeup on and fixing my hair slightly but not going all out. 

When it was time for me to leave I grabbed my phone and my bag and walked to the bus stop as I don't have a car. Taking the bus can be a nightmare on game days but I have worked out a goody system where I get off a few stops earlier and then walk the last part of the journey as it's often quicker due to the amount of traffic. This evening the bus was busier than usual so I had to stand but I didn't mind as I had headphones in and I could look out the window as I zoned out. There was so many people wearing Barcelona jerseys on the streets and many of them had Pablo's name on the back. Seeing all of those fans made it really sink in that in just a few hours I'm going to meet the golden boy of the city which is probably what all of those people dream of doing. Thinking about it that way somehow made me less nervous as I have the opportunity to do something that so many people will never do so I have to make the most of it and not think about how it could all go wrong. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

The game was so amazing, the last home game of the season is always special but this time it felt even more special as the team finally got the trophy. As if things couldn't get any better Pablo scored the last goal at the camp nou as we know it which is really special. With it being such a special match the team celebrated for a bit longer so I waited in the stands with all the fans until I got a text from Pablo telling me to come down to meet him along with where to go as I don't know how to find the locker rooms. As I made my way down there my hands were shaking slightly as I'm so nervous but I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down and put a smile on my face. 

I headed down the corridor and stood outside the locker room ready to text Pablo to tell him I was there but before I could he saw stood in front of me smiling. His smile was so contagious and instantly made me feel completely comfortable around him which I didn't expect. He was quick to bring me into a warm hug which had my stomach filling with butterflies and my cheeks heating up but I tried my best to hide that from Pablo. I felt so at home in his arms it was like we had known each other for years and hadn't just met a few seconds ago I can't believe anyone hates him as he's just the nicest guy. Eventually we both pulled away and he kept smiling at me as he moved to stand an acceptable distance away from me. 

"It's so nice to finally meet you honestly I still can't believe you text me after the parade" Pablo said 

"Sometimes you have to do something spontaneous in life and I'm definitely glad I did" I said 

"I'm glad you did too as now I get to see your beautiful face up close" he flirted 

"Oh um thank you" I replied stumbling over my words and blushing 

As we were talking more of the team left the locker room so he introduced me to them in between our conversations and all of them were super lovely too. Pablo and I stood in the corridor for probably close to an hour just talking to each other before someone asked us to get going so we had to leave but we still kept talking as we walked. 

"Do you have any plans for the rest of the evening?" Pablo asked 

"No I don't" I replied 

"Would you like to come back to my place then?" He asked 

"I would love to" I said 

Once I said yes Pablo got all nervous all of a sudden which made me nervous that I'd done something wrong. He was also mumbling something under his breath which I couldn't hear but I assumed he was talking to himself so I just kept following him thinking that this is something he must do quite a lot as I wouldn't know otherwise. When we made it to the door to the car park he held the door open for me and then I continued to walk with him towards his car. At some point we just stopped walking and he looked at me which really made my heart race as I had no idea what was happening.

"Are you ok?" I asked 

"Is this a date or are we just hanging out as friends?" Pablo asked 

"I um I don't know I'd like it to be a date" I said 

"Then it's a date" he said 

This time as we walked he grabbed hold of my hand which had my heart beating even faster than it was before if that was even possible. He then opened the door to his car for me before going round to get in the drivers side. Luckily by this point it was dark outside and Pablo went out the back exit so no one noticed that I was in the car with him as I was a bit worried about what would happen if we were seen together. Once we were on the road Pablo and I started talking again and this time we were flirting a bit more now that we had established that there must be some feelings there as we are calling this a date. It hasn't really sunk in until we were flirting that I was on a date with Pablo I mean that's what I was dreaming of happening and here we are. The fact that Pablo must actually like me really gave me a lot of confidence to be a bit braver than I would've been earlier. 

The drive to Pablo's place wasn't long and when we arrived he again opened my car door me and then held his front door open to allow me in first like the gentleman he is. He gave me a quick tour of his place before asking if I was allergic to anything so he could make dinner for the both of us. I felt bad that after a long match he was making dinner for me instead of getting to relax but when I tried to help he wouldn't let me so I just sat on the countertop and watched him cook. He was surprisingly good at cooking at no point did I feel like he was going to set the kitchen on fire which I think is pretty good plus he cooked everything for long enough so I wasn't going to die either. 

Once the food was ready he finally allowed me to help as he got me to dish up while he set the table. I should've realised that he was just distracting me as when I went out to the table he had set up candles and made it all romantic. Pablo is really full of surprises as I didn't see him being the type to do something like this but I'm not complaining as it's nice to be treated so well as all of my last dates have been real assholes. We ate dinner quietly but afterwards we went and sat down on the sofa together to play fifa as we both like to play. 

Pablo is a lot better than me at fifa and a lot more competitive so he won every game but I didn't mind as I was having fun and Pablo was enjoying winning. After I lost for the fifth time in a row Pablo seemed to feel bad as he definitely let me win the next game as I could see the smile on his face as he kept giving me the ball and allowing me to score. Once I had won the game he turned the game off and then came back down to sit next to me trying to subtly put his arm around my shoulder but subtlety isn't something he's good at so to make things less awkward I leant my head against his shoulder. He then started playing with my hair very gently which made me smile as I have always liked people playing with my hair. 

We sat in silence for a few minutes before we both looked at each other at the same time. There was a lot of tension between us, if anyone else were to walk in the room it would probably knock them out. Neither of us were quite brave enough to make the first move as once we do we can't go back and we haven't exactly known each other for very long so I'm definitely nervous and I can't imagine how Pablo feels. Just as I was thinking about what could happen if we kissed Pablo began to lean down towards me and pressed his lips to mine. For a few seconds I was taken aback but once my brain caught up with what was happening I kissed him right back. We both pulled away eventually but this time I was brave enough to kiss him again and this time it was much more enjoyable as I was much less nervous. 

After coming down from the excitement of what just happened Pablo turned on the tv so we could half watch some tv while telling stories from our childhood so we could get to know each other on a deeper level. I was enjoying myself but it was getting late and I have work in the morning so sadly I had to leave plus I wanted to make the last bus so I wouldn't have to walk home. 

"Thank you for tonight I've had the best time but I really should head home" I said grabbing my phone from the table 

"Wait did you drive to the stadium as I can drop you back there" he offered 

"No I got the bus but it's fine the last bus leaves soon so I can get that back home" I said 

"Thats not happening I'll drop you home I can't let you go home alone" he said 

"Thank you" I said 

Pablo grabbed his car keys and we got back in his car and I didn't even need to give him my address as he already knows where I live which made it a simple journey. When we arrived he walked up to my apartment with me where we had to say goodbye to each other. Pablo couldn't let me go without brining me in for a hug and kissing me one last time. 

"So what do you say to a second date?" He asked 

"I would love that" I said 

"Great I'll text you tomorrow" he said before leaving 

Once I was finally alone everything that happened today finally sunk in and all I could do was laugh because it just seems so ridiculous but I did actually just go on a date with the Pablo Gavi. Sometimes life is crazy and doesn’t go the way you think it will but tonight I learnt that that’s not always a bad thing. 

[galvanizedfriend]

Hi Yokan 👋

I have questions

First question - how’re you doing? Hope life hasn’t been too stressful for you!

Second question - have you been reading anything that has really resonated with you in the last couple of weeks/months.

Third (and most weird) question - if you could choose a superpower what would you choose? (Dumb question I know😂)

Fourth question - most proud moment in your writing career.

And final question - how’s writing going with the Wolf? Hope you’ve not struggled too much in starting it!

hope your doing okay! ❤️

Hi, friend! How's it going?

Can I just say, it's so lovely to get all these questions! ✨ I love this so much, thank you! 💝

First: I'm ok! Work is always stressful these days, I don't think it's going to give me a break until at least September. 😂 But it's not the worst right now. Tomorrow is my birthday and I just the best piece of chocolate cake humanity has to offer, so I'm cool right now. 😇 Just wish tomorrow wasn't Monday. 🥲

Second: I have read 7 books this year so far, but nothing that's stood out as being great, sadly. :( Still haven't had a 5 stars. I finished a thriller called None of This is True by Lisa Jewell which was pretty good, if you're into thrillers. 4 stars, maybe.

In terms of fanfiction, I've have been reading random pieces of non-Kc fic, as per usual 😂 But I have also read The Little Wolf by @morningstargirl666, which is absolutely fantastic, if you haven't read it yet. It's a retelling of the show's canon about the Original family and how they were turned into vampires, with special focus on Klaus' werewolf heritage, and it's so, so, so good! And so much better than canon! It actually gives depth to the siblings' relationships, and it has so many little nods to what we know of them in the future. Beautifully woven! I have also read Till I Tasted You by @kirythestitchwitch, which is a canon divergent AU where a spell goes wrong and Caroline ends up finding out Klaus is her soulmate. It's hot, it has absolutely nom-nom-able dialogues and A+++ interactions between KC, it features Damon getting his ass kicked! I don't know, it's just the whole package. 🤌

Third: This would be a very weird question if I hadn't spent an irrational amount of time thinking about that. 😂 I guess it really depends on what kind of universe you mean, because it varies. But I would very much like to have telekinesis like Prue in Charmed.

Fourth: That's a tough one. I'm an extremely critical person of my own writing, so it's hard for me to feel proud of stuff I've done tbh. 😂 But I think I was pretty proud when I finished The Wolf 2. It's not my personal favorite thing I've ever written, but I think it's probably my best written story. I really like the final part of that story, the way I managed to tie it back to TVD, I think it was very full circle and made the story a lot more unique. I also had a lot of fun writing the Mikaelsons and Caroline back in Mystic Falls after the time they spent in Nola. 😂 So maybe that.

Final: It's... going. 🥲 I took a pause after writing two chapters back to back, tried to work on some other stuff, and then I circled back to it. I've actually just started the next chapter, have a couple of scenes. I don't think this first chapter will be a long one, but I think it will take a lot of editing tbh. 😂 I haven't been at most inspired right now, so not sure how much of what I've written will stand the test of a re-read. I had plans to get a chapter out before the end of the month, but I'm not sure I'll manage it. 🥲 We'll see how this week goes. Pray for me.

Thanks for the questions, friend! I hope you have a wonderful week! ✨

[ghost-proofbaby]

I'm gonna cheat because I don't listen to TS but you know how much I love our pair from Maroon. can you tell us which of her newest songs you most associate with them right now. any tidbits you feel like sharing

^ it's me pleading for special treatment because I love you

abi babe i will always give you infinite special treatment always. however i apologize for how long this is because, uh, this is the couple who i specifically think dominates my brain while listening to TTPD.

i've already covered "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", so that one 100%.

besides that, though...

Down Bad. the entire premise of the song being compared to being abducted by aliens and when you're returned to earth being like "actually i liked it better up there take me back" as a metaphor for love feels very much like when you had a good relationship, something you expected to last forever, and it just gets taken from you. however, to spice things up - i think it works better applied to how eddie feels. the whole 'fuck it if i can't have him' is exactly how he feels as he's completely destroying himself in the aftermath. and just for fun, so you don't necessarily have to listen to the songs if you don't feel like it my love, i'm adding the specific lines from each song that i feel apply the most.

"how dare you think it's romantic, to leave me safe and stranded? 'cause fuck it, i was in love. so fuck you, if i can't have us."

^ it applies to both reader/sugar and eddie. first half feels very her, because he left her behind to not risk exposing her to a life that had begun to decay him. but second half feels very him cause... fuck it, ya know?

So Long, London. this one is about just being sad and mad about the end of a relationship, and that's where both eddie and sugar still are mentally. to build something so sacred up only to watch it be burned down by the other person. sugar is far angrier than eddie, though, since she's not really taken the time to work through how she feels with the end of it all.

"i didn't opt in to be your odd man out. i founded the club she's heard great things about. i left all i knew, you left me at the house by the heath. i stopped cpr - after all, it's no use."

also.... honorable mentions to the entire goddamn bridge, but specifically "you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?" and "i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place for so long"

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can). it's a bit of a spoiler, and a bit of a reach, but i think it's a good perspective from the others looking in. the media, but also specifically corroded coffin. this really only applies to post break-up them story-wise, too. he's wrecked himself, destroyed all that he was, and sugar is the only one seeming capable of bringing him back to what he once was.

"i can fix him - no, really, i can. and only i can."

loml. i guess what i'm saying is basically every single song where taylor got very vulnerable and terribly sad about the end of an important/long relationship. this one speaks for itself quite a bit because of the theme of the guy saying "you're the love of my life" repeatedly, only to leave. which is exactly what eddie did, in the grand scheme of things. and taking it a step further? the small implications of a breakup and attempt at rekindling? yeah, yeah that's them alright, your honor.

"who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames, if we know the steps anyway?"

^ literally what they are doing as we speak ^

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived. this one i would mostly apply to all of sugar/reader's anger pre-reunion. that anger of a man who simply ghosts you. she didn't let herself feel the 'breakup' much, but she did go through some of the stages of grief - and she got stuck at anger.

"you kicked out stage lights, but you're still performing. and in plain sight, you hid. but you are what you did."

^ all his self-destruction when she sees it at surface level :) just seeing him as doing nothing more than throwing a tantrum :)

this is getting a bit out of hand now, but when it comes to the double album bit, there's even more. i don't want to bore you to death so i'm just going to list those songs but. yeah. this album felt very maroon coded to me. the losing and the anger and the sadness and the clinging to what once was. should've expected it, in all fairness.

from THE ANTHOLOGY, i'd say that 'the black dog', 'chloe or sam or sophia or marcus', 'how did it end?', 'i look in people's windows', 'the prophecy', 'peter', and 'the manuscript' are the ones that fit best for maroon. some are a stretch, some it's solely based off of one line that i couldn't get over, and some i just simply think it's the vibes. a true matter of the illness that is "they're my blurbos so i'll apply whatever song i want to them".

i'm sure we'll see a few of these as chapter titles going forward, including the anthology ones, so that'll probably be when i dig in a little deeper about specific lyrics. or when i post ominous music posts.

anyways if you made it to the end (especially you abi) i love you so fucking much and thank you for enjoying my absolutely insane ted talk i just basically did on how TTPD is very very sugar x eddie coded <3

[vidreview]

VIDREV: "Tim Burton's World of Sadboys" by Infinite Snow Productions

[originally posted april 29 2023]

Not only are you the exact brand of person who Neon Genesis Evangelion is about, you are also the exact brand of person who would completely and confidently miss the point of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

sometimes you come across an essay that says everything you've always wanted to say about a thing but could never quite work out how to fit together all in one place. this is one of my those. like a lot of film-loving millennials who went through an emo phase, Tim Burton holds a very special and deeply complicated place in my heart. the bizarre gothic aesthetics of his worlds brimming over with eccentric freaks captured my imagination as a deeply closeted trans teen who didn't feel normal anywhere [she] went. yes i wanted to be Lydia from Beetlejuice, no i never sat down and questioned what that might say about me personally! some of my earliest childhood memories are of playing with a plastic action figure of Catwoman from Batman Returns. that's not really related to anything, i just wanted to mention accidentally stabbing myself in the hand with one of her ears so hard it drew blood when i was a toddler. so obviously as an aspiring writer with dreams of maybe one day directing movies, Tim Burton felt like the perfect role model for the kind of creator i wanted to be back in 2002.

but as the years went on and Burton revealed himself to be maybe the biggest sellout of his generation, i stopped really thinking about his films and kind of felt embarrassed for having liked them as much as i once did. i think people who grew up with his stuff had this feeling that, like, Edward Scissorhands or whatever was their own personal secret, this little missive from Burton to you that no one else understood, that only you were smart enough to get. but then time happened and suddenly you realized that actually most people liked his stuff, you just didn't get out much. it's sort of like how when you're a teen in 2004 Neon Genesis Evangelion is this niche special interest no one's ever heard of that people would make fun of you for liking if their eyes didn't glaze over halfway through the title, and then you grow up and learn that Eva is the eighth most financially successful anime franchise on planet earth and you're like what

narratively Burton's films are about as socially conservative as you can get while still retaining a veneer of liberal plausible deniability. a couple years ago Maggie Mae Fish did a video dissecting Burton's work that helped clarify a lot of this stuff for me, and ever since then i've been waiting for someone else to pick up that ball and really barrel down into the psychology of the man. don't get me wrong, psychoanalytic media criticism can be dangerous and should only be deployed with excessive caution (and please for the love of god Do Not Quote Freud Jung or Lacan), but Burton's own brand is so surface-level personal and his work far too juiced up with extremely telling themes not to merit at least a little bit of psychoanalysis. i've often idly considered doing it myself, in that "this would make a really good video essay" kind of way when something isn't really in your wheelhouse but maybe would be a fun challenge if you could motivate yourself to care enough, knowing you never will.

enter Tim Burton's World of Sadboys, an essay which does all of this and more. i'm not sure i actually have a whole lot to say about this one, besides that it's everything i hoped it would be from the thumbnail. host Delaney Jordan very succinctly conjures the eternal specter hanging over the Burton oeuvre: that he's one of the vanishingly few directors this century who has had carte blanche to make just about anything he wanted, yet he's consistently chosen to make films about lonely white boys who are sad they can't wear their The Cure t-shirt into the office, and who are honestly quite sick of being unfairly associated with those freaks in the goth scene. the sad truth about Burton that we all had/have to come to terms with is that he's just another boring rich conservative suburbanite, except he wears black and doesn't pay anyone to touch his hair.

this essay does a couple of really smart things structurally. we kick things off with a legendary Orson Welles quote tearing down the scoundrel Woody Allen (read by the hosts of Oddity Roadshow and Critical Bits, the only actual play podcasts i still listen to), a choice that works even if you don't really know anything about Welles or Allen or Burton, and only works better the more you know about them. of course the thumbnail and section titles invoke Evangelion, but you don't really know how this could be relevant until later on when Burton is explicitly framed as a Shinji Ikari type. making that specific historical connection to Welles, within this specific overarching intertextual connection to Evangelion, is just so smart. it's such a galaxy brain framework for an essay and it's why i decided to write up this review.

it works because it gets out of the way. Jordan wastes almost no time hedging bets, making apologies, clarifying asterisks-- i spent most of my time nodding along, delighted for once to be the choir she's preaching to. sometimes i think essayists can let The Point They Want To Make eclipse the simple joy of deconstructing someone else's art. if there's any crime i've committed most as a video essayist myself, it's probably that one. what i appreciate here is, again, Jordan gets it. she gets that it's fun to rubberneck a career like Burton's. he's an easy target that you don't have to feel bad about being kind of mean to, and his work is popular enough that you don't need to waste any time doing recaps. somewhere in the middle i was disappointed to realize she wasn't structurally devoting time to Every Single Film, but by the end i was glad of it. the compulsion to Say Absolutely Everything You Can Possibly Think To Say is strong in the video essayist's heart, and let's be real most of the time that makes for pretty fucking boring essays. maybe it's weird to talk about pacing and flow in the context of a video essay, but here we are. this one just scratches an itch for me with its front to back competence. you can always tell when an essay has been brewing in someone's head for a long time, likely practiced in chunks at parties and social gatherings for years and years until the day of its final refined delivery, and oh how sweet it is when that's an experience you share.

i guess i'll end this on a serious note.

nostalgia has engulfed Hollywood. nothing new can be made because nothing new is a sure bet, so all the big developments in creative tools these days are about composting the culture that already exists. deepfakes, chat-gpt, algorithmic image generation, things of this nature. given this moment in history, i think it's more important than ever that we as adults seriously interrogate the media we're nostalgic for. Disney's place at the center of all this can't be ignored, because it's spent the better part of a century embedding its products into american childhood and thus today has an army of devotees who will defend their frankly kind of mid fairy tale cartoons to the death. Tim Burton, on a much smaller scale, has done precisely the same thing: equating his art with himself, equating loving his art with being on Tim Burton's side rather than simply, you know, enjoying a movie that you saw on tv once. and god, oh dear god, please for heaven's sake let us not even Begin to conversate on the matter of Harry Potter. we live in a moment when the average human person has been so thoroughly dispossessed of any material influence on or connection with the systems and bodies that actually drive civilization, that fiction is the only thing that feels like it belongs to us anymore. it quite demonstrably doesn't, of course, but that's the illusion Disney et al deliberately peddle in order to maintain public acceptance of their monopoly.

given all this, i'll never fail to appreciate an essay that cuts right through the blinders of nostalgia and isn't afraid to dig deep into the core of the issue. i think it's good to be a hater sometimes actually. i think it's good when a critic refuses to humor our culture's simpering deference to corporate robber barons of intellectual property and their endless stable of lazy sellout toadies like Tim Burton. idk man, there's a reason these ghouls want you to love them unconditionally and i really don't think it has anything to do with filling your life with selfless wonder and joy de vivre

anyway it's a good essay with some good laughs, go watch it