#but hearing aromantic asexual several times in a book physically pains me

[the-one-and-only-aroace]

did you like Loveless? I read it so long ago when I didn't even know a lot about aro/ace thingy, I don't really remember. I read it like 2-3 years ago ig

It was very relatable, and very sweet

[melodytheartpony]

emoji: ❤💙

ʙᴀsɪᴄs

I am a cis male

I am a cis female ❤

I am a trans male

I am a trans female

I am nonbinary

I am genderfluid

I am bigender

I am unsure of/questioning my identity

I am white 💙

I am black

I am brown

I am asian

I am latino

I know one language ❤

I know two languages

I know more than two languages

I am the oldest child 💙

I am the middle child

I am the baby

I am an only child

I am straight ❤

I am gay

I am queer

I am lesbian

I am bisexual

I am pansexual

I am demisexual 💙

I am grey asexual ❤

I am asexual

I am homoromantic

I am biromantic

I am panromantic

I am greyromantic

I am demiromantic 💙

I am aromantic

I am polyamorous

I am unsure of/questioning my sexuality ❤

I have long hair

I have medium hair 💙

I have short hair

I have a shaved head

I am bald

I have brown hair

I have blond(e) hair ❤

I have red hair

I have black hair

I have dyed hair

My hair is natural 💙

I am short ❤

I am average height

I am tall

ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs

I have a large friend group

I have small friend group 💙

I have several friend groups

I have no friends

I have a best friend ❤

I have several best friends

I want a best friend

I am close with my friend(s)(ish)

I spend a lot of time with friends

I have feelings for a friend

I want more friends

I envy my friends

I love my friends 💙

I am the voice of reason

I am the mom/dad friend

I am the comic relief friend

I prefer to be alone ❤

I like being the center of attention

I am introverted 💙

I am extroverted

I am ambiverted

ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘs

I am single

I am in a romantic relationship ❤

I am in a QPP relationship

I am in a polyamorous relationship

I am in an open relationship

I am married

I am engaged

I am in love 💙

I have a crush on someone

I often date

I take relationships very seriously ❤

I don't take relationships very seriously

I have high standards

I have a personality type I prefer 💙

I do not have a personality type I prefer

I have a body type I prefer ❤

I do not have a body type I prefer

I believe in soulmates

I am affectionate 💙

ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ

I have depression

I have anxiety ❤ (not sure)

I have bipolar disorder

I am schizophrenic

I suffer from psychosis

I have OCD 💙 (not sure, but mild)

I dissociate

I have PTSD

I have C-PTSD

I have a personality disorder

I have ADHD

I am on the autism spectrum

I have a learning disability

I have unspecified mental disabilities

I have asthma

I have allergies

I have scoliosis

I have kyphosis

I am blind

I wear glasses

I wear contacts

I have had a correctional eye operation

I am mute

I have selective mutism

I am deaf

I am hard of hearing

I have a growth disorder

I am paralyzed

I am in a wheelchair

I walk with assistance

I am epileptic

I am narcoleptic

I have insomnia

I have chronic pain

I have chronic fatigue

I have migraines

I have cancer

I have diabetes

I have an unspecified physical disability

I have an eating disorder

I have an addiction / dependence

I have experimented with drugs

I have abused substances

I am/have been abused

I am in therapy for a mental condition

I am in therapy for a physical condition

I've been hospitalized

ᴘᴏsɪᴛɪᴠɪᴛʏ

I have become a better person ❤

I will become a better person

I am recovering

I will recover

I am proud of my accomplishments

I am confident

I love my hair

I love my body

I love my nose

I love my eyes

I am looking forward to something 💙

I have met a famous person

I have a hobby I love ❤

I have a dog

I have a cat 💙

I have a reptile

I have a fish

I have a bunny

I have a snake

I have a bird

I am part of a religion that brings me peace

I have lost weight

I have gained weight

I took a shower today

I ate today ❤

I had water today 💙

I washed clothes today

I cleaned today

I accomplished something today ❤

(ᴅɪs)ʟɪᴋᴇs

I like parties

I dislike parties 💙

I like romance movies

I dislike romance movies

I like drama movies

I dislike drama movies

I like thriller movies

I dislike thriller movies

I like horror movies

I dislike horror movies

I like sci-fi movies

I dislike sci-fi movies

I like romcom movies

I dislike romcom movies

I like video games ❤

I dislike video games

I like milk chocolate

I dislike milk chocolate

I like dark chocolate 💙

I dislike dark chocolate

I like white chocolate

I dislike white chocolate

I like country music

I dislike country music ❤

I like rap music

I dislike rap music

I like pop music

I dislike pop music

I like rock music 💙

I dislike rock music

I like metal music ❤

I dislike metal music

I like punk music

I dislike punk music

I like indie music

I dislike indie music 💙

I like latino music

I dislike latino music ❤

I like soundtrack music

I dislike soundtrack music

I like k-pop

I dislike k-pop 💙

I like j-pop

I dislike j-pop ❤

I like art 💙

I dislike art

I like books ❤

I dislike books

I like anime/manga 💙

I dislike anime/manga

I like snow

I dislike snow

I like fast food

I dislike fast food

I like coffee

I dislike coffee

I like tea ❤

I dislike tea

I like politics

I dislike politics 💙

My favorite season is winter

My favorite season is spring ❤

My favorite season is summer

My favorite season is autumn 💙

I am a cat person ❤

I am a dog person 💙

I am a bird person ❤

I am a reptile person 💙

I am a bunny person ❤

[ghastlyrosemaiden]

found this on fb, be warned, it’s long

ʙᴀsɪᴄs I am a cis male  I am a cis female 🐉 I am a trans male I am a trans female I am nonbinary I am genderfluid I am bigender I am male  I am female 🐉 I am unsure of/questioning my identity I am white 🐉 I am black I am brown I am Asian I am Latino I know one language 🐉 I know two languages I know more than two languages I am the oldest child 🐉 I am the middle child I am the baby I am an only child I am straight I am gay I am queer I am lesbian I am bisexual 🐉 I am pansexual I am demisexual I am asexual I am homoromantic I am biromantic I am panromantic I am greyromantic I am demiromantic I am aromantic I am polyamorous I am unsure of/questioning my sexuality 🐉 I have long hair 🐉 I have medium hair I have short hair  I have a shaved head I am bald I have brown hair 🐉 I have blond(e) hair  I have red hair I have black hair I have dyed hair 🐉 My hair is natural I am short 🐉 I am average height  I am tall ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs I have a large friend group I have small friend group I have several friend groups 🐉 I have no friends I have a best friend 🐉 I have several best friends 🐉 I want a best friend I am close with my friend(s) 🐉 I spend a lot of time with friends 🐉 I have feelings for a friend 🐉 I want more friends 🐉 I envy my friends I love my friends 🐉 I am the voice of reason 🐉 (sometimes) I am the mom/dad friend 🐉 I am the comic relief friend 🐉 I prefer to be alone I like being the center of attention I am introverted 🐉 I am extroverted I am ambiverted ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘs I am single 🐉 I am in a romantic relationship  I am in a QPP relationship I am in a polyamorous relationship I am in an open relationship I am married I am engaged  I am in love  I have a crush on someone 🐉 I often date I take relationships very seriously 🐉 I don't take relationships very seriously I have high standards 🐉 (ehhhhh) I have a personality type I prefer 🐉 I do not have a personality type I prefer I have a body type I prefer 🐉 I do not have a body type I prefer I believe in soulmates 🐉 (Ehhhh) I am affectionate 🐉 ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ I have depression 🐉 I have anxiety 🐉 I have bipolar disorder I am schizophrenic I suffer from psychosis I have OCD I dissociate 🐉 I have PTSD I have C-PTSD I have a personality disorder I have ADD I have ADHD I am on the autism spectrum  I have a learning disability I have unspecified mental disabilities 🐉 I have asthma I have allergies 🐉 I have scoliosis 🐉 I have kyphosis I am blind I wear glasses 🐉 I wear contacts I have had a correctional eye operation I am mute I have selective mutism I am deaf I am hard of hearing I have a growth disorder I am paralyzed I am in a wheelchair I walk with assistance I am epileptic I am narcoleptic I have insomnia 🐉 I have chronic pain 🐉 I have chronic fatigue 🐉 I have migraines 🐉 I have cancer I have diabetes I have an unspecified physical disability I have an eating disorder I have an addiction / dependence I have experimented with drugs  I have abused substances I am/have been abused 🐉 (emotionally, aye) I am in therapy for a mental condition 🐉 I am in therapy for a physical condition I've been hospitalized  ᴘᴏsɪᴛɪᴠɪᴛʏ I have become a better person 🐉 I will become a better person 🐉 I am recovering 🐉 I will recover 🐉 I am proud of my accomplishments 🐉 I am confident I love my hair I love my body I love my nose I love my eyes 🐉 I am looking forward to something  I have met a famous person 🐉 (does getting called “doll face” by Derek Ray/Houston count?) I have a hobby I love 🐉 I have a dog 🐉 I have a cat 🐉 I have a reptile I have a fish I have a bunny I have a snake I have a bird I am part of a religion that brings me peace I have lost weight 🐉 I have gained weight  I took a shower today 🐉 I ate today 🐉 I had water today 🐉 I washed clothes today I cleaned today I accomplished something today (ᴅɪs)ʟɪᴋᴇs I like parties  I dislike parties 🐉 I like romance movies 🐉 I dislike romance movies  I like drama movies 🐉 I dislike drama movies  I like thriller movies 🐉 I dislike thriller movies  I like horror movies I dislike horror movies 🐉 I like sci-fi movies I dislike sci-fi movies 🐉 I like romcom movies  I dislike romcom movies 🐉 I like video games 🐉 I dislike video games I like milk chocolate 🐉 I dislike milk chocolate  I like dark chocolate 🐉 I dislike dark chocolate  I like white chocolate 🐉 I dislike white chocolate I like country music 🐉 I dislike country music 🐉 (i like, like....2 songs) I like rap music 🐉 I dislike rap music 🐉 (love/hate) I like pop music 🐉 I dislike pop music 🐉 (love/hate) I like rock music 🐉 I dislike rock music I like metal music 🐉 I dislike metal music I like punk music 🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉 I dislike punk music I like indie music I dislike indie music 🐉 I like latino music x🐉 I dislike latino music I like soundtrack music 🐉 I dislike soundtrack music I like k-pop 🐉 (for reference, I prefer k-hiphop I dislike k-pop  I like j-pop 🐉 I dislike j-pop I like art 🐉 I dislike art I like books 🐉 I dislike books  I like anime/manga 🐉 I dislike anime/manga I like snow 🐉 I dislike snow I like fast food 🐉 I dislike fast food I like coffee I dislike coffee 🐉 I like tea I dislike tea 🐉 I like politics  I dislike politics 🐉 My favorite season is winter 🐉 My favorite season is spring  My favorite season is summer My favorite season is autumn I am a cat person 🐉 I am a dog person 🐉 I am a bird person 🐉 I am a reptile person 🐉 I am a bunny person 🐉

[crypticcrow]

a bit about me:)

ʙᴀsɪᴄs

I am a cis male

I am a cis female

I am a trans male 🍄

I am a trans female

I am nonbinary

I am genderfluid

I am bigender

I am unsure of/questioning my identity

I am white 🍄

I am black

I am brown

I am asian

I am latino

I know one language 🍄

I know two languages

I know more than two languages

I am the oldest child 🍄

I am the middle child

I am the baby

I am an only child

I am straight

I am gay

I am queer

I am lesbian

I am bisexual

I am pansexual

I am demisexual 🍄

I am asexual

I am homoromantic

I am biromantic

I am panromantic🍄

I am greyromantic

I am demiromantic

I am aromantic

I am polyamorous

I am unsure of/questioning my sexuality

I have long hair

I have medium hair

I have short hair 🍄

I have a shaved head

I am bald

I have brown hair

I have blond(e) hair 🍄

I have red hair

I have black hair

I have dyed hair

My hair is natural 🍄

I am short

I am average height

I am tall 🍄

ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs

I have a large friend group

I have small friend group 🍄

I have several friend groups

I have no friends

I have a best friend 🍄

I have several best friends

I want a best friend

I am close with my friend(s)🍄

I spend a lot of time with friends🍄

I have feelings for a friend 🍄

I want more friends 🍄

I envy my friends

I love my friends 🍄

I am the voice of reason

I am the mom/dad friend

I am the comic relief friend 🍄?

I prefer to be alone 🍄

I like being the center of attention

I am introverted 🍄

I am extroverted

I am ambiverted

ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘs

I am single

I am in a romantic relationship 🍄

I am in a QPP relationship

I am in a polyamorous relationship

I am in an open relationship

I am married

I am engaged

I am in love 🍄

I have a crush on someone

I often date

I take relationships very seriously 🍄

I don't take relationships very seriously

I have high standards

I have a personality type I prefer

I do not have a personality type I prefer

I have a body type I prefer

I do not have a body type I prefer 🍄

I believe in soulmates 🍄

I am affectionate 🍄

ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ

I have depression 🍄

I have anxiety 🍄

I have bipolar disorder

I am schizophrenic

I suffer from psychosis

I have OCD

I dissociate 🍄

I have PTSD 🍄

I have C-PTSD

I have a personality disorder

I have ADHD

I am on the autism spectrum

I have a learning disability

I have unspecified mental disabilities

I have asthma 🍄

I have allergies 🍄

I have scoliosis

I have kyphosis

I am blind

I wear glasses

I wear contacts

I have had a correctional eye operation

I am mute

I have selective mutism

I am deaf

I am hard of hearing

I have a growth disorder

I am paralyzed

I am in a wheelchair

I walk with assistance

I am epileptic

I am narcoleptic

I have insomnia

I have chronic pain

I have chronic fatigue

I have migraines 🍄

I have cancer

I have diabetes

I have an unspecified physical disability

I have an eating disorder 🍄

I have an addiction / dependence

I have experimented with drugs

I have abused substances

I am/have been abused 🍄

I am in therapy for a mental condition

I am in therapy for a physical condition

I've been hospitalized🍄

ᴘᴏsɪᴛɪᴠɪᴛʏ

I have become a better person 🍄

I will become a better person 🍄

I am recovering 🍄

I will recover 🍄

I am proud of my accomplishments

I am confident

I love my hair

I love my body

I love my nose

I love my eyes

I am looking forward to something 🍄

I have met a famous person 🍄

I have a hobby I love 🍄

I have a dog 🍄

I have a cat

I have a reptile

I have a fish

I have a bunny

I have a snake

I have a bird

I am part of a religion that brings me peace

I have lost weight

I have gained weight

I took a shower today

I ate today 🍄

I had water today 🍄

I washed clothes today

I cleaned today

I accomplished something today🍄

(ᴅɪs)ʟɪᴋᴇs

I like parties🍄

I dislike parties

I like romance movies

I dislike romance movies

I like drama movies

I dislike drama movies

I like thriller movies

I dislike thriller movies

I like horror movies

I dislike horror movies 🍄

I like sci-fi movies

I dislike sci-fi movies

I like romcom movies

I dislike romcom movies

I like video games 🍄

I dislike video games

I like milk chocolate 🍄

I dislike milk chocolate

I like dark chocolate 🍄

I dislike dark chocolate

I like white chocolate

I dislike white chocolate 🍄

I like country music

I dislike country music 🍄

I like rap music 🍄

I dislike rap music

I like pop music

I dislike pop music

I like rock music 🍄

I dislike rock music

I like metal music

I dislike metal music

I like punk music 🍄

I dislike punk music

I like indie music 🍄

I dislike indie music

I like latino music

I dislike latino music

I like soundtrack music🍄

I dislike soundtrack music

I like k-pop

I dislike k-pop

I like j-pop

I dislike j-pop

I like art 🍄

I dislike art

I like books 🍄

I dislike books

I like anime/manga

I dislike anime/manga

I like snow 🍄

I dislike snow

I like fast food 🍄

I dislike fast food

I like coffee 🍄

I dislike coffee

I like tea 🍄

I dislike tea

I like politics 🍄

I dislike politics

My favorite season is winter

My favorite season is spring 🍄

My favorite season is summer

My favorite season is autumn 🍄

I am a cat person

I am a dog person 🍄

I am a bird person

I am a reptile person

I am a bunny person

[baconishellagross]

My earliest memories I remember where I can pinpoint my feelings of being trans are identifying with the male figures I saw, such as in the porn magazines I’d find in my mom’s boyfriend’s houses (they’d leave them laying out in the open in the bathrooms) or anatomy diagrams because my mom would have Kama Sutra books laying around. So from that young age I began to form expectations of what my body was going to look like when I grew up. Like, there was never a moment I ever assumed I was the woman in any given situation despite clearly having the body these examples were defining as women/female. There was a period where I called myself a tomboy because it was the only word I knew for anything even coming close a “girl being a boy” that I knew, but I quickly outgrew when I realized that tomboy wasn’t usually associated with actual guys and usually just “girls dressing up as guys.” But even before that, I’d really only hang out with boys riding bikes and terrorizing the town, sometimes with the older of my two younger brothers. The one time one of the friends I had when I lived in Pennsylvania tried to kiss my belly because I was “pretty” confused me a lot. I had never really thought that my guy friends ever saw me as anything other than another guy, despite me being dressed as female by my parents/grandparents.

I was also a really extreme nudist when I was a child, all the way up until I started growing breast tissue. Like up until I was 11/12 I expected that I’d always have a flat chest because I learned to associate a flat chest with men. Well, when I first started growing breast tissue, it was like my worldview was shattered. From that moment on I became painfully shy about my body and couldn’t stand to look at it even to wash. I stopped looking at myself in the mirror and withdrew into myself to reduce the amount of time I talked. Before that, I was hyperactive and I was called motormouth because I would never shut up. Just sitting 5 minutes on the sidelines not being able to play with the other kids was agonizing, and it would happen because I would get into trouble being too rough with the other kids. Since I didn’t have a watch I would get up when I thought it had been 5 minutes and go back to playing within seconds of sitting down. After several times of the coach noticing me playing way before time was up, they had someone stand there and watch me and force me to stay sitting down as I would stop-start getting up and complain that surely 5 minutes had passed by now. After puberty started, I became extremely detached from other people and avoided groups, listening to music in my own world on the bus to drown out everyone else. Making friends has been harder for me, too, and physical touch has become aversive.

When I was ~17 I talked really low and slow and my voice sounded fairly deep in recordings and I’d obsess over how deep my voice sounded. I distinctly remember marking the day I stopped going shirtless around the house by telling my grandmother that I guess this is the day I grew up and had to always wear a shirt. My father has a picture of me crying from when I think I was maybe 3 or 4, because my parents were still together and my mom left when I was 4. I feel like it was because he was telling me about all the female-gendered things I was going to experience as an adult.

I never did grew much of a chest, but as long as I’ve had it I’ve felt it was too much and wished it were gone, but I’ve also never been too worried about changing it because it’s my body, it grew there, and I couldn’t separate it from my body without pain and effort. Unfortunately my breasts have grown even more, my face has gotten rounder, and my hips larger since I first started taking Depo like 3+ years ago. Unless I’ve just imagined the changes, but my chest has definitely grown as I’ve had to buy bigger bras, but that could just be weight gain as I put on about 20-25 lbs. I also feel like my voice has risen, but again I could have imagined it. Either way, I cannot stand to acknowledge my voice even in my thoughts when talking and get extremely anxious if I do happen to focus, which I never had much of a worry about before.

So up until about 3+ years ago, people seeing my photos or me in real life would either assume I was a guy and didn’t use much gendered language (that I noticed). Which has made my customer service jobs incredibly uncomfortable due to the amount of “ma’am’s” thrown at me. I used to feel fine about being referred to as she/her because I “knew my gender,” so I just sort of attached she/her to my identity. I “knew” I was a guy and people just called me she/her so I felt like maybe sometimes guys were she/her, too, and just accepted it. It just wasn’t something I ever questioned. Weirdly enough, I solidly associated honorifics like “ma’am,” “miss,” “madam,” etc. as for women only, so hearing that all the time directed at me has been slowly making me be more and more repulsed by traditionally feminine descriptors.

Lliterally just being called miss/ma’am has made me go from slightly confused to becoming more and more dysphoric. If I hadn’t gotten any customer service jobs I likely could have lived my life only being slightly uncomfortable during the few times people coded me openly “female,” but never felt dysphoric enough to search out a trans identity or even feel the need to identify with a trans identity in the first place. I’d be uncomfortable my body wasn’t the way I came to assume other guys look, but I wouldn’t worry enough about it because hey, bodies are diverse, right?

I guess this is also why I’ve always had disdain for guys hitting on me, especially if they were publicly het, as I would always think why they would be hitting on me when I obviously wasn’t a woman. Strangers on the street would upset me more, as they didn’t even know me and saw me from far away and still thought I was a woman. If they seemed less stereotypically heterosexual to me, I’d accept it a little more, but I’ve never really had strong romantic or sexual feelings for other people to begin with.

Like I wish I didn’t have to change my body for others to see me as a guy, because I’ve always felt that my body was male because it was the body that I have. I can feel absolutely agonized over my gender at times, but I still only feel a passing need for no chest or different genitalia, not enough to search out surgery, binding, or packing. So recently I’ve been thinking my asexual/aromantic identities stem from that, because I feel like my body isn’t mine and the people attracted to me aren’t attracted to the actual me. Feeling like I’m accepted as me in my current relationship as opposed to having all of my “female” aspects being the center of attention in my previous relationship has been amazing. In my previous relationship, he took great pains to point out my genitalia and breasts and commenting on my body as a “female” and how he’ll never forget how I looked, most likely because I came out as nonbinary and asexual to him, which just resulted in me being dehumanized and invalidated. Which is a big part on why I broke up with him when it became clear no amount of explaining my feelings would get him to understand or treat me like a person. In my current relationship however, little to no attention has been given to gender on either side (or at least I try to use gendered language as much as I feel I’m socially allowed to without any specifications otherwise - I try to use as little gendered language in my every day speech), but I’m also not openly trans as I’m still not sure if I’m a trans guy or nonbinary, and even despite my recent dysphoria, how my body looks isn’t important enough to me to put a public name to it yet.