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princesspastel8 · 8 months ago

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Chapter 23

Third POV

Jeff lands on the ground with a long sigh. He glances around before dashing into the woods, so he's out of prying eyes. Once in the woods, he takes a glance at Eboni's home, his heart filling with something he has yet to comprehend.

It's weird for the killer. As cliche as it may sound, Jeff is heartless. He's known for not caring about anyone but himself. Sure, he gets along with Jack and BEN, but he still puts himself first above anything and anyone. That's how it's always been, but now Jeff is beginning to question so much.

Jeff kicks a tree in frustration during his walk back to the mansion. He can't understand what makes Eboni so different. He never, in his whole life, thought that he'd run someone's bath water, bathe them, and even do their hair! He's selfish, not selfless - not even with his younger brother.

The core of his frustrations is his emotions being thrown out of wack. One of the things that makes this killer so deadly is how in tune he is with himself. He fully embraces his sick, murderous tendencies, unlike most of the proxies. Maybe this is because the main emotions he experiences daily are anger & anything to do with murder.

Now he's feeling emotions that he never thought he'd get acquainted with. Caring for someone else other than himself. It's so strange and annoying - but not all that bad. Jeff takes into consideration that Eboni isn't as annoying as he thought she may be. She does what she's told, even making it fun with her slight remarks and back talk.

And that attitude. He can't get enough of her feisty nature, yet she's always ready to please him. She's so different with everyone she encounters, but so...obedient with only him. That makes his heart skip and flutters fill in his stomach. Jeff hunches over, thinking he's about to vomit from the feeling.

He gags, shaking his head. "Damnit...that bitch." He grumbles, continuing his walk.

Jeff will never admit what he's feeling with anyone, not even Eboni. Though he is starting to embrace these emotions, he still believes that these feelings are a weakness. The killer isn't a vulnerable guy. He's never been one. Another thing that makes him dangerous and unruly is that he has no weaknesses. So if Slenderman does know about Eboni, he could use her as leverage- which angers him.

Once at the mansion doors, he kicks it open perusal. No one pays him much mind, which calms the him - until an annoying fellow killer jumps in front of his face. Jeff can feel his eye twitch from the sight of Nina way too close to his face.

"Hi J-" Nina's eyes widen as she leans over to sniff at his hair. "Huh? You smell even more fruitier than before! Why is - "

Jeff grabs Nina's face and squeezes tightly. He glares at her, his eyes laced with an immutable unhing hatred. "Stay the FUCK away from me you copycat. Mind your damn business! I will never be with you, I will never want you- and even if we were the last two people on earth, I'd rather kill myself than be forced to fuck you." He seethes through clench teeth before tossing the girl to the ground like a ragdoll.

Nina is shock, hurt clouding her vision and heart. It doesn't take her long to put two and two together. With that in mind, she stands to her feet and rushes out of the house - Jane and Clockwork rushing after her. Everyone else is still in shock. The proxies know how much Jeff hates Nina, but his words have never been to this level before in terms of making Nina hate him.

He takes this time to compare the two girls- Eboni and Nina. Eboni has her own life, her own struggles. Jeff doesn't play a hand at the darkness itching to the surface. Eboni has always been who she is, without any of his influence. Then there's Nina. Sure, the killer considered fucking her on times he'd get horny- but his hand would always be better than making a yandere more attached.

The one thing Nina has never been able to do is throw Jeff's emotions out of wack. His bloodlust has never mixed nor crossed with feelings of bodily lust. Only Eboni manages to do that - and man, does he enjoy the high she brings him. It's a feeling that Nina could never bring out of him.

To add on, Nina threw her whole life away. She had friends, a functioning family. Sure, she was going through a phase- but Nina allowed that phase to rule over her. All because of her sick obsession with Jeff. She even made herself look like him, which still irks him. Why would he want to be with, let alone fuck, a mirror version of himself? That just doesn't make sense to him, and because of this- Nina never had a chance with the smiling killer.

EJ stands, walking over to Jeff. "Damn man, I don't feel sorry for her in the slightest - but shit that was harsh."

Jeff sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Meet me in my room. Gotta find BEN, too."

"He's already in there. Something he had to tell you about the top three." EJ said as the two walk up to the second floor of the mansion.

"Fucking hell- I told that zapping elf to stay the fuck out when I'm gone!" He shouts, kicking open his door.

BEN is floating up to the ceiling, clinging to it like a spider. He looks down at the two, his head twisting to be rightside up. He grins at Jeff's angry expression. Smike dog lets out a bark, jumping off of Jeff's bed to join the killer's side. He sighs heavily, pitching the bridge of his nose as he moves towards his closest. He strips down, changing into a black band-T and black sweatpants. He goes into his mini fridge and pulls out a bottle of Jack Daniels that he opens with his teeth.

He glances up at BEN, patting his bed for smile dog to join him. "What shit did you have to tell me about those fucktards?"

BEN zaps himself back to the ground, fixing his head back into place. "Dang, that hurts every time! Anyways, slenderman let them out today."

"So? I should care why?" Jeff asks, rolling his eyes as he takes a swig of his drink.

"Well, he let's them see their little playmates." BEN said matter of factly.

Jeff raises a brow, sitting up in his bed. He takes another sip of his drink while scratching the back of Smile dog ear. "Fucking serious?"

"Dead serious! Whoever masky is playing around with the big boss said she has the potential to become one of us."

"And the other two?" EJ asked, moving to sit on the floor.

"Eh, those two thought I'd be a good idea to bed the enemy - at least Toby thought so. I don't think Hoodie made a moveyet -- he clearly wants to, though." BEN shrugs.

Jeff burst into a fit of laughter, "Hahaha! All that talk of Toby being his number one favorite and here he is fucking a bitch working under Zalgo!? Serves them both!"

However, in the mist of his laughter- a troubling thought fills his mind again. "....oh shit.." he mumbles, setting his drink down and kicking his legs over his bed.

"What's up?" EJ asked.

"....if that octopus let's them do whatever they want with their bitches then...I was right- he knows about Eboni."

BEN and EJ share a look before focusing their attention back on Jeff. "What makes you say that?" BEN ask.

Jeff sums up the situation between him and Eboni as well as explaining the kill slenderman made him do. After the three connect the dots, they all agree that slenderman knows that Jeff did not do what he was askedv- which was to kill Eboni.

"Fuck...fuck is that why he didn't use that mind shit to force me back here?" Jeff questions, standing from his bed as he starts pacing around his room.

"Yeah, probably. But hey, man- I don't think he's gonna kill her."

"Yeah, nothing to worry about." EJ shrugs.

Jeff pauses, glaring at the both of them. "The hell? I'm not worried! Why would I worry over some random bitch I fucked a few times!?" He shouts.

The two know that his shouting is to hide what Jeff is really feeling - it's written all over his face. The smiling killer is pacing while yanking at his hair a bit. They've only ever witnessed him do this when slenderman was considering bringing his younger brother Liu in. Clearly, there's some emotional attachment to Eboni that the smiling killer isn't ready to voice.

EJ sighs, standing to his feet since Jeff stepped on his hand a few times. "Look, Jeff, I'll believe you - but what BEN said is right. Slenderman would've killed Eboni already if he didn't see any potential there."

"Yeah, best to let shit play out." BEN shrugs, moving to Jeff's bedroom door. "Everything will turn out a-okay!" He laughs, holding up the 'okay' sign with his hand.

EJ rolls his eyes, opening the door, and kicks BEN out of Jeff's room. He glances at Jeff as he begins walking out. "Just be prepared for whatever is going to happen. I have a feeling it's going to be... pretty interesting." He said before leaving his room.

Jeff slumps back onto his bed, sighing heavily in irritation. Smile dog yelps, licking at the smiling killers face. Jeff can't deny what BEN and EJ could be right. But his worry lies with Eboni being a slave to Slenderman just like him. Though he's growing feelings for this girl , he wouldn't wish this treatment on his worst enemy.

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cartelheir · 1 year ago

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— 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓.

name: patricia carosella.

name meaning: patricia is a name of latin origin that means noble or patrician.

alias/es: pat. in the runaway verse, she goes by the fake name sofia borbón, but not in other verses.

ethnicity: mexican / mestiza.

one picture / icon you like best of your character:

i love this picture because it's just The essence of pat. the outfit, the jewelry, the surroundings, the way she's looking at you like you're dirt under her shoe, everything. this is how she looks like 99% of the time.

three h/cs you never told anyone:

pat has maids coming to her home daily, and as a result she does literally zero chores. she hates cleaning with a passion. over time she's gotten used to have at least one maid around all the time, so she doesn't care about things such as having an incredibly personal conversation on the phone with a friend while they might be listening. it's like they're not even there.

due to her history, pat cares a lot about sexual assault victims as well as the femicide victims in mexico. she donates a lot of money to charities that try to find the missing women, or ones that fight against human trafficking. she's aware that a lot of the men she works with in the cartel participate in it, and it's one of the things she'd like to change if she was in charge of things.

pat and her family attended church weekly when she was a child, but she was never too much of a believer. she just liked singing at choir and hanging out with the other kids, but even when she was really young she remembers thinking :/ idk if this god guy actually exists. despite her skepticism, there was also a part of pat who feared god WAS real and he'd punish her for doubting him. she was convinced he would make her choke to death on the sacramental bread. she avoided eating it for months.

three things your character likes doing in their free time:

music. she can play piano and guitar, and she also has a very nice singing voice and a hell of a lot of stage presence, if she would ever get on a stage again. her parents used to say she was gonna be a bigger star than selena quintanilla, but well, life got in the way.

going out to dance. or to just have drinks with friends.

shopping. like any toxic rich person, pat thinks she's entitled to spend her money on whatever the fuck she wants, and she often splurges on useless luxury items.

people your character likes / loves:

ángel salazar is a npc i probably won't bring over to the rpc so he won't be part of her storyline, but i had to mention him because in my original writing for pat, he's very important to her. for those who remember the román days, that's not him, but his story is slightly inspired on him.

luisa ríos, her mom. they don't get along most of the time and pat has more than enough reasons to hate her, but she can't stop caring.

martina carosella; pat's aunt, javier's younger sister. they're besties.

santiago guzmán, pat's bodyguard and chauffeur. wherever she is, he's usually around. she's not sure if she'd consider him a friend, but she trusts him. in very vulnerable, drunken nights, she might've vented about one personal thing or two to him.

two things your character regrets:

getting involved with césar. she tries to forgive herself for it, because she was just a child who didn't know any better, but she often thinks about how different her life would've turned out if she'd never met him.

not reclaiming pristine airlines earlier. she was reasonably scared of the cartel doing another attempt on her life. but to think that she was broke for all those years when it was her right to inherit the company? those are years of her life that she wasted being poor.

one phobia your character has:

dogs. she was attacked by one as a child. the bigger they are, the worse her fear is, but tbh she's a little scared of the small cutesy ones too. they can smell her fear.

tagged : stolen from the dash. tagging: @artmadc, @sleazygoing, @lcvnderhazed, @parieur, @wellfell / @r4bidog, @flmed, @embodies, @vitalphenomena, @dogtccth, as usual i encourage everyone else to steal this from me

#𝐡𝐜 . ❛ el estudio del carácter. ❜

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rappaccini · 1 year ago

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Someone said Spiderverse movies took everything that was wrong with comic gwiles and fixed it...what do you think about that?

mmmm.... mixed bag. it takes the superficial problems with gwiles and fixes them, but it takes the fundamental ones and makes them so much worse.

[cut for length and hate of a fanship juggernaut-]

the problems with comics gwiles:

first, the circumstantial. the things that weren't executed well but could be redeemed in other continuities.

the age gap: in the comics, gwen's 3-4 years older than miles. in that famous panel of them making out, she's 20 and he's ~16. yikes!

the maturity gap. similar to age gap, but less dependent on age. age gaps become less and less important as time passes on. maturity is a little different, and dependent on your experiences. even when miles is ~23 and dating a 26-27-year-old gwen is appropriate, she's still spent a year and a half in supermax being beaten every day by dozens of criminals with no way of protecting herself and they're still at different developmental stages. she's been through shit he won't be able to help her with, and it wouldn't be fair for her to force him to deal with trauma he isn't equipped for. don't force a grown woman to infantilize herself to make her younger boyfriend comfortable, or a black boy to speed past his adolescence for a relationship with a woman he's too young for.

the lack of chemistry. they sincerely do not seem attracted to each other. whenever they're clinging to each other in sitting in a tree, it's cringy and weird in no small part due to the age gap and because...

the lack of connection. in the comics, miles and gwen aren't really friends. they're usually on the same team during crossover events, but that's basically it. they don't hang out as civilians, they don't have fun together as heroes, and they have little to talk about other than whatever mission they're currently on. they're basically just coworkers with a mutual friend/mentor in peter.

the context of the initial romantic spark. it isn't gwen and miles sincerely developing feelings for each other. it's them being told by god that the only way they can be safe and happy is if they make out, marry and pump out superbabies... and then saying 'well, god wanted us to kiss, so let's do it.' no matter what, if they pair off, that's the basis of their relationship: being ordered to get together and told if they don't they'll never be safe or happy.

and as for the most fundamental parts, the things written into their characterization and the themes of their stories that can't be changed without changing the meaning of who they are and what they're about:

on an emotional level: miles is into gwen because he's a teenage boy who sees a pretty girl with superpowers, and he thinks being with her will make him cool in front of his friends. siat literally starts and ends with miles bragging about the encounter to his bros, hyping it up as this hot romance that's definitely maybe gonna turn into something (... but then when we actually see it, it's awkward and she turns him down-- so he's lying to them) and shortly after siat, he'd keep bringing gwen up to his hero friends, calling her his girlfriend, trying to impress them. (they don't buy it fwiw)

gwen reciprocates the kiss in the moment but never mentions miles again in her entire solo run (except to make a dig at how now that she can turn invisible, looks like he's not so special anymore... so there's baggage there,) therefore she wasn't too into it. so she kissed him for reasons other than attraction. probably because at that time, gwen was extremely lonely and vulnerable (she was depowered, she had to spend the holidays alone because her father was in jail, she was grieving her peter, she was being exploited by a creepy mob boss who was absolutely going to do far worse to her) and having a future where she's safe and secure dangled in front of her face made her desperate enough to try giving in to it. on a personal level, gwen sees miles as an easy escape from her problems.

if you see the girl you like as a status symbol, or the boy you like as a get out of jail free card, you shouldn't get together.

on a sociocultural level: miles and gwen are both in stories about being marginalized people in a story and world designed for white guys. both contemplate assimilation-- miles, by distancing himself from his culture to appeal to white new york, and gwen by submitting to various powerful men who want to control her-- and this relationship would lock them into an assimilation plotline forever. (controversial take: just because a relationship is interracial doesn't mean it can't be regressive in other ways! intersectionality is important to consider!)

miles obtaining a blonde, blue-eyed white girlfriend (who even wears a white costume) he mostly sees as a status symbol and having ambiguous-looking kids with her as he becomes a celebrity supercop in a world without his community and family solidifies that he sold out and committed to placating a presumably-white public.

and gwen attaching herself romantically to a more powerful man who everyone likes better than her, marrying him, giving up her personality (gwen-65 would never like living gwen-8's life), social circle (where are her friends and family), interests (where's her band) and goals to support his (miles is the one who wants to lead a super-team, not gwen), and having his kids (even though she's indifferent at best to the idea of motherhood) solidifies that she's submitted to the limitations of patriarchy and is settling.

it's important for these characters to be tempted by those easy answers to their problems, and to have a moment of weakness where they contemplate giving in.

it's more important for them to resist that temptation.

on a meta level: comic gwiles happened back when no one knew what to do with miles so they just hurled all peter's leftovers at him. his villains. his plotlines. his leftover love interest.

miles morales is the other spider-man. gwen stacy is the other girlfriend. let's pair the spares so we can lump them off in their own little corner and we won't have to put effort into giving them their own stories!

miles was getting all kinds of bullshit about not being spider-man from the fandom. handing him one of the most famous Spider-Man Love Interests was a way of saying, 'see? yes he is! gwen stacy falls in love with spider-man, and she falls in love with miles, so miles is spider-man! and he's not just spider-man, he's an even better spider-man, because this spider-man gets a gwen who lives! a superpowered gwen to have superpowered babies with!'

on gwen's end, she's gwen stacy. she's the girl who is defined by being spider-man's girlfriend, living to make him happy, dying to make him sad, her existence totally determined by being desirable to the male hero. spider-gwen was meant to set the character free from that: now she's the hero. she has the power and the responsibility. she never has to be dependent on the male lead for her existence again.

so taking the one version of gwen whose purpose is to be her own person and turning her into Spider-Man's Spider-Wife and Mother Of His Spider-Babies implies that the Real Tragedy of gwen's death was that the hero didn't get to save, marry and make babies with the girl, not that the girl fucking died and never got a life of her own. it makes a girl's life, death and story about a guy. again.

... yeah it's irredeemable. you can't change these things without changing miles and gwen into different characters. so the ship doesn't work unless you want their stories to be tragedies about two people who try to define their own narratives, but give up and settle.

(and the whole point of their characters is that they're meant to succeed. they aren't supposed to be tragedies about trying to fight the system, giving up and submitting to it.)

literally the only thing about comic gwiles that works is that they look hot together and on a surface level, the idea of them falling in love is neat. but the second you look deeper and actually think about what it would mean for them and their stories the whole thing falls apart.

as for the movies

the age gap: 15 and 16/17 is appropriate. no notes.

the maturity gap: in between films, miles spent the last year and a half in a stable loving home, going to high school, moonlighting as a superhero. yes, he's had mental health struggles and been dealing with grief and stress, but he's in a safe environment to process those feelings and has at least one friend who he can trust with his secret.

meanwhile on top of her own grief over her peter and stress over the hero-teenager life balance, gwen's lost all her friends, been manhunted by the cops for a year and shot at by her dad, ran away from home, and spent 5+ months homeless, being manipulated and neglected by the adults in the society, living as a full-time superhero with adult responsibilities, all while knowing she's likely doomed to die soon.

by the time they reunite, gwen's had to mature a lot and miles simply hasn't. it wouldn't be fair for gwen to act like none of that shit happened to make miles happy, or for miles to take on all that emotional strain to make gwen happy.

the chemistry: now exists! i buy that miles and gwen would be attracted to each other.

the lack of connection: complicated. if nothing else now that they're the same age and had that day of working together in itsv, i buy that gwen and miles would want to be friends, and that if they got to spend time together, they would be.

however, they still barely know each other. they spent one afternoon hanging out and fought together for one night, and then never spoke to or saw each other again for a year and a half. and during that time they've been hung up on the idea of meeting each other again, and that a relationship would be the solution to their problems. they like the idea of each other better than the reality.

by the time the trilogy wraps up, they'll have known each other for a week tops, spread out over that long a gap of no contact. deciding to date someone (let alone deciding you're in love with them) with that little time spent actually knowing each other doesn't make sense.

sure it's possible that they could take time to reconnect before getting together... but it's also equally likely that doing so will make them realize they're only interested in the idea of each other, and are better off as friends.

the context of the romantic spark. gwen and miles spending time together, striking up a friendship, and thinking 'you're cute and we understand each other and i like being around you, let's do more of that'? without the universe breathing down their necks insisting they have to make spiderbabies or else? works!

BUT. itsv ends on gwen telling miles she's only interested in a friendship. and they don't interact for a year and a half. teenage crushes are intense... but they also burn out fast when there's distance, especially when you have shit as heavy as what gwen's dealing with going on, and when you're building stronger relationships with other romantic options (pav and hobie). by the time atsv begins, gwen would've moved on.

gwen being this starstruck over him does not feel realistic. she's not in love with him, she's fixated on him.

in the circumstantial sense, yes, movie gwiles is an improvement.

but. in terms of the irreconcilables:

on an emotional level:

miles is still into gwen because she's pretty and powerful, but also because she's smart ("smart girls are where it's at" = miles thought gwen was a gifted kid like him, and that was part of her appeal). he looks up to her skillfulness and wants to be a better hero so he can be on her level. he empathizes with her grief and guilt over a loved one's death and the double-life stress. the thing that first made her stand out to him was that she laughed at his joke-- she made him feel less alone in a situation where he felt like he couldn't belong.

so at least his crush isn't kiddie-pool deep anymore.

but. he barely knows her. he's spent a year and a half dreaming about what it would like to be with her; most of what he thinks of gwen is just projection. he's withdrawn from everyone in his life and assumes a relationship with her will fix all his problems-- that he won't be lonely, insecure or stressed anymore as long as he can prove he's powerful enough to reach this unreachable girl.

and since reaching gwen means proving he's an elite enough student to go to princeton... or an elite enough spider-man to join the society, she's the reward for him achieving that status. she's still technically a trophy.

at least gwen likes miles because he's kind, smart, funny and the first friend she's made since peter died... but. that's the thing.

she's still hung up on her peter parker. still guilty about his death, refusing to let herself make new friends. she still wants to protect him (shielding miles from the canon event/anomaly revelations), she still wants to save him (gwen getting flashbacks and panicking when miles is in the rubble in mumbattan... and ending the film committing to saving him again).

gwen sees miles as her redemption for failing to save peter. if she can protect him, save his life, be his girlfriend, then she can forgive herself.

(and since she's a runaway, he's an escape from a world where everyone hates her, from her responsibilities. the movies say it themselves: he's peter pan, she's wendy. you do know how peter pan ends, right?)

the problem still exists for miles, it's just reversed now: comics miles sees gwen as a means of getting the status he wants. movie miles sees the status as a means of getting gwen... but he still shouldn't need either to find validation and understanding.

and comics gwen still sees miles as an escape from her problems... but now it's even worse, because she's using him as a replacement goldfish for her peter. unfair to miles, unhealthy for gwen.

on a sociocultural level:

they're still in assimilation narratives.

miles thinks no one in his community understands him and considers going to pwi princeton so he can find those people. then he jumps at the chance to join the spider society, full of said people (mostly-white guys policing a white guy's status quo). he thinks if he gets gwen, a white girl, to be with/vouch for him, he'll be accepted by the status quo and treated as the exception.

so far, he's committed to rejecting the aspects of the status quo that he dislikes. which is great! but is he going to go all the way, or is he going to stop at 'actually, the societal conventions that benefit me can stay.'

(even if gwen survives, that subverts nothing because she'd be surviving to be his girlfriend. he's still the one who profits the most, especially if he gets the Hero Moment of saving her. he gets the prize and the big photo finish.)

gwen's surrounded by mostly-men in control of the status quo, and was told for months by them that her role in this story is Someone's Girlfriend.

the only woman in the inner circle, jess, is a happily married pregnant woman who reinforces the system because it works for her (even though the most she can be in it is the male leader's number two), and dislikes when gwen isn't obedient.

then gwen exclusively befriends guys who push her towards her designated boyfriend even when they barely know him, is catty to margo over male attention, only rebels against the status quo on behalf of the boy and not herself, and reassures that boy when he's jealous over her and hobie that she's remained loyal to him all this time despite never being in a relationship in the first place and never expecting to see him again.

she ends atsv by disowning all her female relationships (the mjs, jess), making nice with her dad, accepting her role as Miles's Girlfriend despite knowing it will kill her. then she forms a mostly-male team (including two girls who are only there for the boy, not her) to save him and declares with a smile that this is what she needed all along.

(who wants to bet the second miles turns up, she'll hand the leadership of her own band to him too.)

essentially, gwen's totally given in. she's settling for 'hey, maybe my boyfriend won't get me killed this time. that's enough, right?' (no!!!)

on a meta level:

the movies do a lot to establish miles as his own character with his own world and his own story (which is exactly what he needs!)... yet. the one thing that isn't his own is his love interest.

they might not have said outright that gwen's Peter's Girlfriend. but they whitewashed peter65 to make it clear they would've gotten together before he died and remove all hangups gwen would have about being attracted to miles. they made gwen's attraction to miles based on her fixation on her peter. they confirmed that gwen dating spider-man is a canon event.

the audience may not have read the comics, but they've seen the amazing spider-man movies. they know gwen's peter's girlfriend who dies because he can't save her.

miles's entire storyline is about being ostracized for being Not Spider-Man Enough... but miles and gwen are still being paired romantically, gwen implies that her hangup is she wishes it would end well and miles assures her that they'll be different. once again, miles being spider-man hinges on whether he obtains and keeps a romantic relationship with gwen.

gwen's entire story is about... how if only she could end up with her high school boyfriend. and her happy ending depends on how supportive she is of him.

her death's going to be revealed as a canon event in btsv. odds are, she'll live because miles saves her. because, as he said, he's Different (tm).

so spider-gwen's been regressed to something she's never been before in the comics, to the thing she was created to never have to be again: the hero's girlfriend.

whether gwen lives or dies, even if he isn't the one who saves her, her story's still about being an ideal for the hero to strive towards, obtain and keep. the only difference is now she gets to hand herself to the hero and say 'i'm okay with this somehow' so he's absolved of the responsibility for taking her protagonism away

so to recap, the writers clearly did some heavy lifting to redeem some of the relationship... but only on miles's end, and only half-measures:

comics miles has a shallow attraction to gwen largely based on achieving status through having her. movie miles has a genuine emotional connection with gwen but still doesn't know her well and is still reliant on her for validation.

comics miles's relationship with gwen is dependent on his willingness to become palatable for a white audience at the cost of being a resonant character for the community he was created to represent. movie miles gets to define his own narrative without being stereotyped or sanded down to fit into a white mold... but as long as he can pick and choose what aspects of assimilation benefit him the most, he'll embrace some of it.

comics miles is handed gwen as an attempt by the writers to make his haters see how much like peter he is, rather than doing the work to give him something unique. movie miles isn't Diet Peter Parker anymore, but he's still dependent on getting gwen to be considered spider-man enough.

but on gwen's side... it's worse than in the comics.

comics gwen doesn't need a relationship with miles to feel good about herself or take part in the story. movie gwen does and is only rewarded by the narrative when she's prioritizing him (she can only find happiness with him and none of her other friends even when they know her better than miles ever did, she can only reconcile with her father and stop being homeless because she's getting miles's photo, she can only stand up to the society and miles's parents and form her own hero team because it's in defense of him and it's a given that he's going to take control of the team the second he rejoins it, she can have a pov in the second movie as long as it's all about how much she misses miles, she can only be in these movies in the first place because she's going to be his girlfriend).

comics gwen is resisting (so far) the urge to give in and assimilate back into the male gaze. movie gwen completely caved to it by the end of the second movie.

comics gwen's narrative understands that she has to be not only alive, but her own agent in control of her own storyline, with plots that center her as an individual; she literally cuts gwiles off in its tracks because she recognizes they're being manipulated and wants them to make their own choices. movie gwen's narrative fully believes that the only problem was that she didn't get to live so she could belong to a guy, and her character was written from the ground up to be accepting of that (hence, why movie gwen doesn't beat her peter to death for being an incel like she does in the comics).

the circumstantials are fine. they have the surface-level connection to make a romantic attraction plausible, and the lack of familiarity could've easily been fixed with a shift in the timeline or an indication that they'll get to know each other more before they get together.

but the fundamental aspects of their characters are still undone by it.

the only way this ship works is if that's the point, and they need to recognize that and move on from each other.

(there's enough time to do it too... but will they?)

in conclusion: it's worse!

#spiderverse salt #asks #gwen stacy #miles morales #spider gwen salt

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sugarakis-p2 · 2 years ago

Text

Happy Birthday from Tenko!

Shigaraki just wants to get back to the hideout when he bumps into his old crush. His babysitter from when he was Tenko. You feel so familiar, so friendly to him, as you chat about your upcoming birthday, even though he can't remember you he wants you. You recognizes him right away but he appears to be dating a teen. Shigaraki is not going to let you walk out of his life.

Warning: Non/con stalking Shigaraki. Chubby darling, cake eating, tit licking, size kink, deflowering, older woman/younger man, bad words, specific mc body type, etc. too tired

“Pllllleeeeeaaaaaaasssseee, Tomura-Kun,” Toga begged.

“No! It’s early, no money, and nothing is open. Quit bothering me,” Shigaraki growled at Toga. He hated being alone with her. She’s like an annoying little sister.

“But I’m hangry. Oh, I can get us money,” She said, skipping off after a guy. Shigaraki didn’t notice until she ran up beside him, short of breath with a fistful of bloody yen. He stares at the little psycho.

“What? I didn’t like him enough to kill him. Now can we get something to eat?” Toga whined until he agreed. The only place open was a bakery. Even this early, there was still a customer taking their sweet time. He really hated this. Toga shoved the wade of bloody money in his pocket and ran to wash up.

While waiting for the customer to stop jabbering, he looked at her plump round ass. He was almost hypnotized by it. He was starting to have lewd thoughts about biting and smacking it. Her hair is long and silken. He isn’t the type to hold back, but even he was surprised when he thought there was something familiar about her and leaned in close.

“I got the order, miss. Does your boyfriend want anything?” The cashier asked.

“Boyfriend? What boyfriend?” She turned to see Shigaraki holding a lock of hair to his nose, pressing the silken dark chocolate strands to his cracked lips, inhaling deeply with hooded lids. She smells like sunshine and warm fresh linen. She yelps and jerks away. Freezing when she gets a good look at his face.

“T-t-t-tenko? Tenko Shimura? Is that you?” She asked suddenly near his face on tiptoe. Close enough to kiss those pretty lips. Her large doe eyes roam over him, warm and brown, before giving him the broadest brilliant smile he has ever seen. Her soft features made his heart race. She is an earthen goddess, very exotic, and she only has eyes for him at this moment.

His eyes can’t help but dart down to her small perky chest. He bet he could fit a whole one in his mouth. Her voluminous soft round curves. He wanted to touch her tanned skin. Something about her felt so familiar. Tenko is not a name he has heard in a long time. He vaguely remembers a young girl like you saying it.

“Have we met?” He wonders aloud.

“It's me! Your old babysitter. Oh my, you’ve really grown. Look how tall you’ve gotten. Your eyes and hair are a different color,” You nervously tittered as he loomed. Devouring you with his gaze. God, he wants to rail you so bad. You are so cute and soft looking, chubby and curvy in all the right ways. He wants to sink into you and get lost.

“It’s me, Tenko. What have you been up to?” He attempts awkward conversation. What he really wants to know is where you live. He feels like a predator that has locked onto prey and wants an easy hunt. Catch you relaxed and vulnerable. You chuckled and flipped your hair.

“I haven’t seen you since I was ten. Wow, Tenko. Well, I worked aboard for the past three years, but I’m back now. Oh, I’ve been back for about four months, just in time for my birthday in a week. That’s one of the things I was doing here, ordering my birthday cake while I picked up the office’s coffee order. By the way, what are you doing in the nex-,” You were saying. Talking to him casually like an old friend when Toga walked up.

“What are we ordering? Did you order?” Toga asked him. He saw it on your face, the puzzled, repulsed expression as your eyes darted from Toga back to him. You were about to invite him to your birthday, he just knows it, and Toga ruined it. He was itching to decay Toga. She ordered for them making it worse, “Two coffees. And a dozen honey almond cookies with green tea frosting.”

“Oh, is this your girlfriend?” You asked him. Your voice dripping with disgust.

“What this? Hell no,” he says, quickly shoving Toga away from him.

“Hey, what the hell TS? You need extra sugar in your coffee. See if it makes you sweeter, meanie,” Toga whined, sticking her tongue out at him.

“So, how do you two know each other?” You asked with a cocked brow.

“Coworker!”

“Big brothers club!” They answered at once. He is going to choke Toga. Your face fell more. He could feel it. A wall had just been bricked up between the two of you.

“Right. Well, it was nice seeing you again. I should get this order to work,” you said flatly.

“Wait, we should exchange num-fuck!” he rasped as you hurriedly walked out of his life. He gave Toga a death stare while he paid with the bloody crumpled Yen dropped on the counter in front of the cashier.

“I get nose bleeds,” Toga says flatly.

“Yeah, gushers,” Shigaraki gravels. The cashier looked disturbed but took the money and told them to have a nice day. Shigaraki turns to leave with his coffee, enraged he can’t see you on the street. The sun is coming up, and soon it will be too crowded for them. Toga follows cheerfully, sipping coffee. He is about to unleash his fury on her when she giggles at him.

“You are so obvious Tomura-Kun. So, that’s your type, huh? I bribed the cashier. Here’s the receipt. She paid with the company card and picks up coffee for the office at the same time daily,” Toga smirks. He snatches the receipt, shoving it in his pocket, he'll get the address off it later. He desperately wanted to look at it, but they needed to get going.

“Good job, you creepy little stalker. Give me a cookie,” he demands.

The following week you are plagued with bad luck. You just feel this menacing vibe that you are constantly being watched. It got to the point you are thinking about getting an exorcism. Things in your house seemed to move around. Has your food been missing? Where is all your underwear? It doesn’t matter, you won’t need them for tonight.

You have a special birthday date with Fujisawa-san. He is so handsome and has been asking you out for months. You finally decided to grace him with your presence. You’re going to a fancy sushi place, drink sake, fuck his brains out and eat cake.

You look at yourself in the mirror. Admiring how this dress highlights all the right parts. When you get older, you don’t need a huge party. You are the party. You are going to get rid of your virginity. It wasn’t like you were saving it for anything special. It just never seemed to happen. The guys you picked turned out to be jerks, or you felt too nervous about being naked in front of them. Fujisawa-san seemed nice, and it’s not like you’re getting younger. Might as well say fuck it and enjoy yourself. You put on your lipstick and make your way to the restaurant.

A dark figure with a bag unlocks the back door as you leave through the front. He has been watching you for a week for this moment. Shigaraki tosses his bag under your bed. That’s going to be a part of his birthday present for you. Nothing irks him more than the thought that you were going to ask him on a date but changed your mind because of Toga. Shigaraki has some time. He goes through his rituals. Shifting and sniffing through your dirty underwear and pocketing his favorite.

Rooting through your frig. Hoping there is something you have taken a bite of. Shigaraki saw the box for your small personal cake. He takes a quick peek. The scent of spring peaches and natural vanilla makes his mouth water. He is going to have so many peaches in his mouth today. He licks your clit stimulators. Disappointed you clean them every time.

He moves on to your makeup. Pulling out the shade you used. Popping off the top to lick it and kiss the stick that has touched your lips. He swears he tastes a little of you on it. He shudders and sighs in longing. This indirect kiss isn’t enough. Shigaraki’s cell pings. He checks it. He better start getting ready. Turns out your date ended early.

You sat across from Fujisawa-san and wondered what the hell happened to him. He was not acting the same. Fujisawa immediately sat down and started eating. It was like he hit his head because he was rude and insulting.

“Are you feeling ok?” you asked after a half hour of awkward conversation and only received head nods or grunts.

“Yeah, fine. Is something wrong with you?” Fujisawa snapped back. Oh boy, you must have been mistaken about Fujisawa. You drank all the sake. When you both reached for the last piece of sushi, he leaned forward and whispered, “Don’t you think you’ve had enough? You gained weight, haven’t you?”

The smack you landed on his cheek rang out in the restaurant. You will not be humiliated on your birthday like this. You thought he was a good man, but he taught you a lesson. You feel like crying as you hail a cab. Across the street, Mr. Compress texts Shigaraki letting him know Toga did a perfect job.

“Seems like a lot of work to get the creeper laid,” Dabi saws watching your date crumble into ash.

“Normally, I would agree. However, Toga and Shigaraki have hobbies. Indulging them keeps them stable with us. I enjoyed performing that sleight of hand and lifting her keys,” Compress response. Dabi lights a cigarette with a corpse and shakes his head.

Shigaraki waited for you to come home in the bedroom closet shirtless. He didn’t have to wait long before he heard you stomp into your apartment. Tossing your purse across the room. Snatching up a pillow and screaming in it. Red face and full of fury.

A beautiful sight to him. But just about anything you do that makes you wiggle provocatively, he likes. You yank off the dress and toss that too. Damn, Toga must have really let loose. No panties as you go into the bathroom to wipe off your makeup.

You wear your oversized nightshirt, turn off the lights and crawl onto your bed. This is perfect. He is about to slip out when a buzzing sound fills the room. He stops and watches, letting his eyes adjust. He sees your hand working a vibrator over your clit.

Shigaraki’s red eyes are transfixed, watching your plump lips wrap around the toy, your clit engorged. Your sweet little noises mix with the buzz. He’s growing painfully hard as he watches your pussy get sloppy wet, glistening with juices that start to drip on the blankets. Your eyes are closed as your head lolls to the side, rocking with your body as you hump the toy.

Shigaraki is at his damn limit. He slips out and slowly pulls his bag out. You are so busy you don't notice him until you feel the bed sink under his weight. Your eyes shoot open, and you open your mouth to scream, only to have some fabric violently shoved past your lips with a large hand clamped over your mouth. You flail, trying to kick and hit. There is a metal click around one wrist and then a forceful capture of your other wrist. Handcuffing you to your headboard.

“Behave yourself,” a voice gravels above you, eerily calm. Three fingers digging harshly into your cheeks. You stop struggling when you recognize the voice. It takes you a moment to focus on the face. But it’s him, Tenko.

“Temo?” you mumble. His feral manic expression softens.

“Yeah, it’s me. Happy birthday, birthday girl. You left before I could get your number. That was rude. But I still found you so I'll forgive you. I will take my hand away, but you have to promise not to scream. If you scream, I will hurt you,” he says. Playing with your chest over your shirt, tweaking your nipple before gripping your front with all five fingers. You jerked and squeaked when it turned to dust. He brushes the remains of the shirt away with the back of his hand. He had practiced this move just for this moment. One of his many gifts to you.

“Do you believe me?” he asks coldly. You nod your head frantically. He pulls your panties out of your mouth and pockets them again, “I want to give you a birthday present. I’m going to help you finish what you were doing.”

You whimper as he shifts, leaning over the bed to pick up something. You start to struggle again to no avail. You don't want his present. But the handcuffs are sturdy. He pulls the cake up from under the bed and places it between your legs. You tremble, your heart pounding so hard it’s impossible to think. You can taste the saltiness of your tears as they trickle down and dance on your tongue. Shigaraki dips his fingers in the frosting with an evil smile. His eyes dance with wicked thoughts as he watches you squirm.

“T-t-tenko, please don’t. I’m sorry about the misunderstanding. I-I-I,” you start to say when you flinch at his touch. Spreading frosting on your nipples while ignoring what your saying. In a panic, you blurt out, “What will your girlfriend think?”

Smile faltering, he moved the cake aside and shook his head.

“I told you she wasn’t my girlfriend. We’re criminals. I couldn’t say she’s my killing buddy, now could I? See, you are giving me that pretty wide-eyed look of fear. If you had done that in the bakery, I would have bent you over the counter and ravaged this tasty body,” he growled, looming over you with his tongue lolling. You squealed and tried to squirm from his mouth, aggressively coming towards your chest.

He found this game amusing. Like you could escape, it was adorable and pathetic, just how he likes you.

“Nom!” he snorts when he captures your breast. Attempting to suck the whole thing in his mouth. You shriek in terror. He growls like a rabid dog, threatening to bite it off like an apple if you shriek again, grazing with his teeth to be sure you understood. You understand and shake in terror as he slurps and sucks at your breasts. Cock rubbing on your thigh. It's hot and heavy, scary even through the pants.

Kneading them like dough, cautious with his fingers while he played with your tits. He licks all the frosting off, moving to the other breast. Tweaking and pinching your nipples until they peek and pebble under his tongue. When he is done, he sits up and licks the rest of the frost from his fingers.

“Peaches and cream. Mmmm, soft and warm,” he beams. He watches you as he frees his beast of a cock. Letting it hit your belly. You yelp in fear, jerking and trying to back away. It’s hot, huge, and keeps growing the longer you look at it. You think of it as a monster that could easily terrorize a village of virgins. It’s too big for the first time. The thought of it going inside you makes you sob.

“Open for me,” he barks, gripping your thighs and pulling you back to him.

“No! No! Please, I’m still a virgin, and that’s too big. You will never fit, Ten,” you cry.

“Virgin? Never had a virgin before. Calm down. I’ve watched enough porn to know this will fit. You are already wet, but since it’s your birthday, I can push the petals open more,” he rasps. Roughly forcing your legs open. Cruelly shoving a saliva-coated finger in. Crying out at the painful invasion, you tremble and clench to push him out.

“Wow, one finger is a lot for you. So, tight,” he chuckles. His finger is longer and thicker than anything put in you before.

“Please…..no….Ten, it hurts,” you mewl. He slowly pumps his finger in and out.

“Careful with that name, birthday girl. Knowing it is what got you in trouble in the first place. No one calls me that anymore and that’s how we are going to keep it. Can’t have you running around using that name, getting yourself into trouble. Fuck, you are tight. Need to spread you more,” he says more to himself, adding another finger and scissoring.

All of his attention focused on your warm slick cunt glistening with juices. How your muscly walls are resistive to his touch. He reaches in deeper, to his knuckles, and rubs a soft spot. You shudder and mewl. This may not have been a waste of time. He just found your sweet spot.

“It hurts. You won’t fit. Please! We can do something else,” you weep. Your pussy twitches on his fingers. You glance at his cock again. It's rubbing and leaking all over you. Thick and sagging under its own weight. It looked angry as the red tip dribbled. He smirks when he notices where your eyes are at.

“It's ok, you can look as much as you want. Do something else. On your birthday! That would just be selfish of me. Just relax. It’s ok. There, there, breathe. Come on, you’re alright. I'll do most of the work. You just rest. You feel so damn hot and wet. I will be nice,” he soothed. Stroking your hair and planting a kiss on your forehead.

“Don’t,” you whine. Your cute blush and whimpers are pushing Shigaraki to his limit. Your pussy flutters as his fingers send shivers of pleasure through you.

“Oh, don’t tighten up. Are you close? So, damn pretty. Your little pussy is quivering. I think it’s about time,” Shigaraki announces. Pulling out his fingers and licking them clean, “Mmmm…peaches, and cream.”

“You are so lewd. Don't look. It's embarrassing,” you flustered when he spread you wide. You squirmed under his filthy gaze at your sex, straining to close your legs. He doesn't let you. He looked like a happy kid. He looked like Tenko again, which made you even more ashamed. He drags his cock over your pussy with a happy hum. Mixing your slick with his, the leaking head rubbing between your folds.

“N-n-n-no way is that going to fit!” You shout as he lines himself up to your little hole, notching and gripping your waist.

“It will be ok. Don’t worry. It will fit,” he snarls with a harsh thrust. You shrieked again as his head pushed past your hymen. It stings on your insides. A deep burning pain. His cock stretches you past your limits.

“It huuuuurrts,” you groan. He looks at you with a moment of surprise. He grinds hard, his length demanding more, and you whimper in pain.

“Huh, it’s not going in at all. It’s only the head, and already you are still too tight. Relax. Shhhh. Calm down and spread yourself wider. It will stop hurting after a while,” he comforts, with more petting and kisses. He lightly bucks his hips to ease in slower.

“No, I can’t,” you wail with your eyes squeezed tight.

“There, there, it already went in a little bit further than before.”

“Really? Then we’re all done?”

“You’re cute. One last big thrust should do it. I’ll make it quick. Better than drawing out your suffering. Here we go,” he says, gripping your hips harshly to hold you in place. Before you can scream no, he pushes hard into your tight cunt with one severe snap of his hips.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,” you cry at the sudden burning fullness. It feels like he is rearranging your innards just for him.

“It went in all the way. See! You did so well,” he praises with a kiss. This one to your lips. He tastes like tang, cigarettes, vanilla, and sweet peaches. His tongue licking at yours. His rough, cracked lips lightly scrape against your soft ones. He pulls away and encourages you to look where you are connected.

“It did go in all the way,” you say, shocked. The whole thing went in! Your mind reels. You thought he would be worse, but he has been surprisingly gentle while he violates you against your will.

“Alright, now that I’ve let you adjust and open up that flower, it’s time for the main event.”

“What? That wasn’t the end?”

“You are a cutie. No, my dick went in, is all. I will be gentle with my first virgin. My special birthday girl…..at first,” he smirks.

“Huh?” It was hard to think, but you squealed when his cock began to slowly move back and forth in the center of your core. He nuzzles the side of your head, holding you close, planting kisses between praising you for being a good birthday girl.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you being cruel and kind?”

He stills, lifting out of his embrace enough to look at you, his crimson eyes studying your hurt expression. You can feel him growing harder in you.

“That’s an odd question. Because I want to and your special. After all my changes physically and mentally, you still recognized me all these years later, so you must have thought about me. You’re luscious, caring, and your body delicious. You’re not like me, and I want to corrupt you. Yeah, I like the thought. I'm going to be your first and shape you to me…..I can be rougher if that’s what you want?”

“No, please,” you beg. Shigaraki embraces you again, whispering in the cone of your ear.

“Then stop asking stupid questions and take every inch and drop of my gift to you,” he hissed. You whimper in fear that you opened your mouth too much. But Shigaraki continued with his delicate, even pace, working your cunt to him.

“Ah-oh-oh-ah,” you moaned. His hot panting mixes with the sounds of the wet slaps of your flesh. Your mind starts to feel like it’s going numb as you adjust to the pain. It no longer burns. It just stings as his length pumps in you, grinding against your cervix. A while later, it’s a sharp sting followed by a pleasant tingle as he rubs against a sweet spot in you. Slowly his hips buck harder, his pants picking up with his pace, the jerking of his hips becomes sporadic, and then a hot warmth spreads in your middle. His cock twitches in you, then it feels….nice.

He lifts with a grin looking at your quivering pussy. Your shaking body, lust-blown eyes, heaving chest. His cock still squirting hot jets of cum in you.

“Do virgins normally bleed this much? Why do you have such a pained expression?” he asks.

“I don’t know. It hurts. Are we done?”

“Not yet. Your pussy is really tight. Felt like my cock was being crushed for the first half. Hard to keep control like that. You should be fine after you cum. Flip on your knees,” he instructs. He grabs your ankle and helps you while staying inside. You shriek again. He pulls a glove on he had in his pants. Licks his two middle fingers, hunches over you, and wedges his hand between your thighs to press on your clit.

This time he is so deep and harsh that you cry out with each rough rut. He humps hard and fast. Not bothering to be gentle. Now he is whispering filthy possessive things in your ear.

“All mine. My tight virgin pussy. You are gripping and clenching down so hard. This is how you like it, huh? You turned into my little slut real quick. I can feel you are about to cum. What a good birthday, girl. Cum on my dick,” he growls.

Hot shudders of pleasure rack through you. Shigaraki works his cum in deeper with each hump. He is like the beast you initially suspected he was. Your clit pulses as he rubs tight circles. Oh god, you are going to cum. You can feel it is building and cresting quickly.

“No! I don’t want to! No! I'm cumming. I don't want to!”

“Too bad,” he growls. Bucking faster until you both scream. Shivering and shaking as tingles up ecstasy shoot through you. You came! You came hard on Tenko! You came at the same time! You feel so good and ashamed. His cock twitches relentlessly. More hot jets of cum spread in you. It’s the same wonderful sensation of hot coco warming you from the inside on a cold winter night. You gasp for breath. Shigaraki’s eyes roll in the back of his head as he grits his teeth. It feels like you are one person for an infinite moment until he pulls away.

Unlocking your cuffs and holding you to his steaming body. You are so foggy; you can hear him mumbling sweet nothings to you in the background of your mind.

Next thing you know, he is feeding you cake. Sharing the same spoon and holding you like a lover.

“Happy birthday. I already made a copy of your key. Don’t bother going to work tomorrow. Your present is all of me. But to collect, you must be with me. You're mine from now on. I won't have my girl trying to escape. Not after I made you blossom and opened up your pussy,” Shigaraki rasped.

You wearily nod your head. What choice do you have? He's going to keep you, and you both know it. Slumping against him, dripping cum form your sore used pussy. He kisses you.

“Good girl,” he grins deviously, “Mmmm…peaches, and cream.”

[writers notes: This is a gift, with a specific MC body type. Don't be a jerk and complain about how you don't have small tits, or long hair, etc. It's nice that they are willing to share so be kind, rewind and chill]

#tomura shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #boku no hero academia shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #yandere shigaraki x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x you #shigaraki x y/n #yandere #smut #tomura smut #yandere tomura #my hero academia shigaraki #boku no hero academia tomura #bnha tomura #shiggy #tomura fluff #tenko shimura #shigaraki

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boldlyvoid · 3 years ago

Text

Only Time Will Tell | Part 2

18+

Summary: Fifteen years after a horrible breakup, Y/N and spencer figure out that time can heal almost everything.

Content Warnings: angst, parental death, mentions of cancer and suicide. Bi reader, bi spencer, recounting childhood relationships, slight angst, spencer's headaches, abusive relationships (not spencer and reader) blood tests, spencer's addiction issues, getting together, smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, switch spencer, sub reader, smut (not super graphic)

Word Count: 6.5K

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

When she wakes up she’s incredibly confused. She stares up at the bumpy stucco ceiling and Spencer laying on her chest and it feels like she’s gone back in time. He’s so snuggled into her, but her body is different than when she was 15, a lot different. He has a handful of one boob and his face on the other and she just shakes her head at the sight.

She kisses his forehead and strokes his hair and she lets it happen, because this is how she’s wanted to wake up every single day for the past 15 years. She’s spent just as long away from him as she’s spent loving him and she never realized how much it would hurt to think about it when she got him back.

She expected all the pain to go away, and while she’s a doctor and she knows way too much about the human brain, she still expected him to make her instantly happy. It wasn’t going to happen like that. Yes the hormones and endorphins were going to help, hugs and kisses and cuddles, sleeping beside him and hopefully sex… all those would contribute to making her feel happy, but at the end of the day her depression was always going to sit in the corner and attack when she was the most vulnerable.

Even with her last crush, it was good until she was alone. She’d cuddle with her all night with her lips pressed to her shoulder, wishing more than anything that she could feel that good forever… and it faded away when she realized she’d never have her. Unlike how she feels with Spencer right now.

He starts to wake up, also confused she guesses because he pulls away and sits right up with wide eyes and a horrified look on his face that just makes her laugh. “It’s fine, lay back down,” she pulls him back in and he settles, but the hand that was on her boob is now on her arm and he doesn’t say a word.

“How was your sleep?” She eventually asks, it’s the slightest whisper as she runs her fingers over his back the way he liked when he was younger.

“Really good,” he whispers back, “I haven’t slept this long in probably 15 years.”

“That makes one of us,” she smirks, “I sleep so much, it’s never refreshing but I sleep a lot.”

“I have really bad headaches, and no one can give me answers for them, I want to sleep but normally I can't.”

“What do you mean no one has answers?” She feels a little defensive, “have you had a brain scan or done blood work?”

“I’ve done it all,” he sighs, and she lifts him off of her.

“Do you have them here? Can I look?” She starts to worry for him, wanting to see everything she can and help him.

“Yeah,” he gets out of bed and rummages through his things, pulling out a few manila folders.

She grabs her phone and turns the flash on, laying it face down on the bed and shining up towards the ceiling, she takes out his MRI, a CT scan and holds them over the light one by one. “Your gray matter is so thick…”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“You’re a genius, tell me what gray matter does,” she teases, remembering how she used to use him as a google before Google was even invented.

“It's found throughout the central nervous system and controls movement, memory and emotions…”

“You’re a genius, I’ve always wondered how it would look,” she is fascinated with these normally, but Spencer’s is her favourite so far. “Your brain looks good, there’s nothing alarming, nothing out of the ordinary, but that doesn’t mean it’s all working right.”

He just hums along, she places them all back in their folders and opens his folder of paperwork, reading all his blog tests, “this is just basic stuff?”

He nods, “they won't test anything without reason.”

“Come to my lab? I’ll run every test in the book, you’re technically a schizophrenia research candidate so no one will care.”

“Really?” He looks almost excited, “I can take the morning off?”

“Okay,” she smiles, “let’s get ready then.”

She makes a phone call in Spencer’s kitchen, he’s still in the shower but Y/N’s completely dressed and ready for the day with the little supplies she brought in her bag. But she needs help.

“What?” The man answers first.

“It’s just me, put her on.”

“I’ve got this—Hello,” her best friend snatches the phone from him and answers with a smile she can hear, “how are you, bestie?”

“Hi Maeve,” she whispers with a smile.

“Why are we whispering?” She teases, “are you at someone’s house?”

“Yes,” she smiles, “I’m at Spencer’s.”

“No fucking way…” she whispers, “why didn’t you call me after your coffee date on Tuesday? I was so excited to hear about it.”

“I tried, but Bobby picked up and said you weren’t available,” she replied with a deep sigh, not hiding the fact that she hates Maeve’s fiancé.

“Oh,” she sounds ashamed and it makes Y/N feel bad for her, “well, how’d it go?”

“Good, we had a very PG13 sleep over the way we used to, It was nice waking up with him again, but I’m taking him into work today to do some blood work, I was wondering if I could send you some of his results? He’s getting headaches that he says are pretty debilitating?”

“Hmm, I’m free this morning once Bobby leaves for work, has he had any prior tests? I can come by and meet my best friend's best friend?” Maeve all but begs, that same pleading tone in her voice that Y/N loves.

“Of course, I’d never turn down a visit from you, I’ve missed you a lot,” she smiles at the floor, “and you’re really going to like Spencer.”

“I’m sure I will, do you think everything’s going to work out between you two?”

“I’m not sure yet,” her smile fades at the admission, “I don’t want to get my hopes up, but given the fact he texted me worried for my well-being and he’s been so adamant about hanging out… I’d like to say things are going back to normal.”

“Awe,” she swoons, “I love stories like this, you know that. I’m so glad you’re finally talking to him again, I thought I was going to have to bring you into my marriage, sister-wife style, in order to make you happier.”

“You could still leave Bobby for me,” she teases. “If this doesn’t work out, I still need a wife?” She teases and Maeve laughs and it makes her smile wide and toothy.

“Okay, I’ll think about it,” she whispers, “I’ll see you at work? In like an hour?”

“Do you want a coffee? We’re probably going to stop on the way,” Y/N offers, finally looking up from the pattern in the kitchen tile to see Spencer standing in the doorway.

“Just my usual,” she can hear Maeve’s smile, “but I’ll see you then, bye, love you.”

“Love you too,” she hangs up and stutters as she looks at Spencer, “I didn’t hear the water turn off?”

He’s standing there in a dark purple towel, one around his waist and one tightly wrapping his hair, he looks silly but she loves it. “Who was that?”

“My best friend,” she presses her lips together awkwardly, “she’s a geneticist, and if you have a deficiency causing these headaches she’s the best one to figure it out.”

“Thank you for caring this much,” it sounds so sad, she can tell he’s not used to this kind of effort being put in for him anymore.

“I’m very used to protecting you, it’s not something I can drop, even after fifteen years,” she reminds him, “I hate to think that you’ve had to do it alone for so long.”

“It’s been hard,” he agrees. “How is this going to work?”

“What?”

“Being best friends? Because as much as everyone on my team says they’re my best friend, I don’t feel close enough to anyone to give them that title anymore, not since I stopped talking to you,” it’s a lot to take in at a quarter to 8 in the morning.

Her eyes just go wide and she feels so bad for him, but at the same time, he did that to himself. He could have reached out, he could have stayed. There are lots of things he could do, and now the only thing she wants to do is let it go.

“Maeve means a lot to me, you’ll like her,” she steps into his space and pokes his wet chest, “she’s the only woman in her field, I’m the only woman in mine, we met at a talk a few years back and she’s been my person for so long.”

“Why couldn’t she go to get the time capsule with you?”

“She can’t leave the state,” Y/N admits, “she has a stalker and she won't tell me much, she doesn’t want me involved, she’s a little scared. And Bobby won't even let her answer the phone anymore, she’s why I reached out. She believes in fairytales and happy endings and after everything I’ve told her she said this love story has all the makings of a romantic comedy.”

Spencer laughs, “she’s not wrong.”

“She’s always going to be my best friend, but I can have two,” Y/N suggests, looking up at him and raising a brow.

“I don’t mind sharing,” he whispers.

It looks like he wants to kiss her and she desperately wants to lean in and let him, but he backs up. “I’m just going to change and then I’ll meet you back out here.”

“Yeah, course,” she lets him walk away and her heartbeat is audible in her ears.

She’ll always love Spencer, and yet a part of her wonders what would’ve happened if she had actually asked Maeve out that week before she met Bobby. Then she’d be able to go to the cops about the stalker, then she’d keep her safe all the time, and then again maybe she wouldn’t be here with Spencer trying to make it work if she was with Maeve.

It’s a lot to deal with at 8 in the morning.

She walks down to the building's garage with Spencer, he’s all dressed and ready for the day and he looks great. He dresses better than when he was a teenager, everything matches, it’s pressed and clean and he honestly could walk the runway like this.

And then she sees it.

“You still have it?”

“Shit,” Spencer whispers, “we can take the subway or a cab or something if this is triggering at all?”

“No,” she assures him, “I’m not triggered, just shocked that Amy still runs?”

“I’m an engineer, remember? I know how to keep her going.”

She runs her hand along with the blue paint of Diana’s old Volvo Amazon, who they appropriately named Amy when they were kids. She looks in at the backseat, the tear in the seat is still there from when the button on her jeans got stuck, the light in the radio is still burned out, unable to tell the time. The seats are just as comfortable, she turns on just as loud as before, and she never thought she’d say she missed the smell.

They stop at a coffee shop by the university, Spencer orders first and then it’s up to her, “can I get an iced coffee and—“

“A white hot chocolate with a blueberry tea bag in it? Absolutely,” the barista smiles, “anything else today, Y/N?”

“Not today, Katie,” she smiles, taking out the normal amount and a decent tip, “how’s school going?”

“Good, thank you for that study guide, I got a 92 on my last Bio test,” she’s unbelievably giddy and it makes Y/N’s day.

“that’s amazing,” Y/N makes the most basic small talk before joining Spencer by the counter.

“How do you know everyone?” Spencer whispers and nudges her shoulder with his own.

“I talk to people,” she nudges him back, “you’d be amazed by what happens when you let people in.”

Spencer hums, they watch Katie make their drinks carefully and quickly, putting them in a tray and handing them to Y/N with a smile. “Have a wonderful day.”

“You too!” Y/N calls back and waits for Spencer to get the door for them.

And then he opens the passenger door for her too. “So, I have to ask…” Spencer says as they finally get back in the car. He places his coffee in the cup holder, “were you and Maeve together at some point?”

“No…”

“Oh,” he drops it when he realizes it’s not a question she wants to be asked.

The rest of the drive is quiet, she sips her coffee and looks out the window and he taps the steering wheel the way he always used to do. “Have you dated anyone in the last 15 years?”

“Not really,” he shrugs, “I have been on dates but nothing’s really worked out.”

“Hmm,” she says before she drops it.

Pulling into her work, he parks in her spot and the two of them get out and begin their walk to the elevators and then he asks another question.

“So you haven’t dated or been with anyone since we broke up?” He looks a little shocked.

“Not really,” she shakes her head, “I don’t feel the need to? I’m not lonely, I’m busy.”

“Oh.”

The elevator dings and she walks out first, through the main hall and towards the lab. She puts on her coat and hands Spencer a blank one, “these are my Ph.D. candidates.”

Inside she has 4 students all dressed up and doing their work and Spencer waves awkwardly as they look up at him. “Good morning guys.”

“Morning doctor,” they reply in unison.

“My friend Spencer here has a genetic predisposition for schizophrenia so I’m just going to run the basic tests but he’s not going to be in any of the trials.”

“Sounds good,” one of them smiles.

“We’ll be in here if you need me,” she points at her office and Spencer follows her inside. “Oh, and Maeve is coming in as well, tell her to come right in.”

“Why? How many people have you slept with?” She suddenly closes the door, resuming their conversation immediately.

“Including you,” he does the calculations on his fingers, letting out a deep breath he was keeping in. “Elle, Ethan, and a handful of one-night stands…”

“That’s not too bad,” she shrugs and then she can’t help but laugh, “but Ethan? Really?”

Spencer nods with a smirk, “I told you I would one day.”

She laughs, remembering how much they hated each other. Ethan was a pain in the ass, flirting with both of them to piss the other off, especially when they were all on opposite mathlete teams… but Spencer did have a crush and she was secure enough in their relationship back then to just laugh it off, like she is now.

“How did it even happen?” She asks, taking out all the supplies from the cupboard, and returning to him with an elastic band.

“I went to see him in New Orleans because I was addicted to drugs and he’s an alcoholic and I wanted him to tell me not to waste my life away because no one else was going to do it.”

“Wait, addicted? I thought it was just the one case?” Her whole body reacts, her heart drops and her breathing changes and she worries for him in a way she hasn’t felt in years. “Do you want me to do this in your hand so you don’t get triggered?”

He shakes his head, “no, it’s fine,” and then he takes a chip out of his pocket, “it was nice to not feel anything for a while.”

He hands it to her, it’s a 5-year chip and it makes her smile. “I’m always going to be proud of you.”

“I know.”

She hands it back to him and he puts it back where it belongs and the conversation dies there as she takes his blood and he looks away. She has a few vials, she puts his name on them and turns back to him. “Can I ask who Elle is?”

“She was on my team,” he presses his lips together and she knows there’s more in there.

“And?”

“She was shot and had terrible PTSD after, I checked on her one night and she was drinking and we got to talking about her feelings and she didn’t want to be alone… the next night she killed a serial rapist and claimed self-defence but I know she killed him because we couldn’t get justice for his victims. She put justice into her own hands, and then she left.”

“Do you live in a soap opera?” She teases, “damn, okay. I mean good for her, she probably thought if she was going to prison at least she could get some dick first.”

“That’s what I thought for a while too,” Spencer nods along, only slightly sad. “But then I thought about what I did to you, and I figured she didn’t need a reason to sleep with me and leave me, sometimes it just happens and there isn’t a good reason.”

“It’s different for boys,” she combats. “And you weren’t a virgin then, you were what? 24? You were almost a full-brained man.”

“I know.”

She needs to let it go, she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, “sorry.”

“You’re not wrong. The damage I must have caused isn’t something that heals fast,” he explains and it starts to feel like a profile. “You haven’t just not slept with anyone because you don’t want to. It’s because you’re scared. We were really young, we were stupid, and I hurt you to the point where you can’t let in anyone who will leave you. I’m going to keep saying I’m sorry even though I know I can’t remove the scars, they’re always going to be there.”

“I hate you sometimes,” she whispers, turning away from him and gripping the counter. “You didn’t have to read me like that. Not everything is your fault you know, I’ve tried. I’ve wanted to and none of the people I’ve dated were good enough and the person I wanted to sleep with the most found someone else before I had the courage to do anything about it.”

“I’m sorry.”

She turns back to him with a straight face, “I wanted to feel loved more than I wanted to be fucked. You damaged my heart, not my vagina.”

He tries not to laugh, biting his lips and yet the air that leaves his nose sounds like a laugh, she turns her attention back to him, playfully outraged that he would laugh. “You’re a dick.”

“I missed you a lot,” he smiles, “and I’m really glad you reached out.”

—

When Maeve comes in, Y/N wraps herself around her so tight that Maeve laughs. “Hello lovely,” she whispers against her and Y/N’s heart flutters just a bit.

“Were you safe?” Y/N worries and brushes her hands along her arms as she looks her over. “You weren’t followed or anything?”

“No,” Maeve assures her and hugs her once more, “you look so good, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you,” she rocks her back and forth slightly and then turns to introduce her to Spencer, who’s now standing.

“This is Doctor Spencer Reid, Spencer this is Doctor Maeve Donovan, my best friend,” Y/N turns to him and Spencer looks at her like he knows her from somewhere.

“wait—

“Journal of Behavioural Psych… I’ve already seen your brain,” Maeve fills in the blanks. “I didn’t reply to your email because I knew you were Y/N’s Spencer.”

“Oh…” Spencer can’t really believe it.

“And I had no idea you have schizophrenia in your family either…” she stares at Y/N with her brows raised.

“Stop,” she whispers under her breath. “I told you.”

“It was between Alzheimer's in Texas and Schizophrenia here,” Spencer repeats. “I always thought I’d be the one to cure it for my mom, but I’m glad it’s you.”

Maeve just smiles at him and Y/N can’t stop smiling at her, it’s surreal to have her best friends meet.

They all catch up with their drinks in her office. Sitting at Y/N’s desk and sharing their stories, Spencer’s medical issues, Y/N’s flight anxiety and Maeve’s stalker.

“I actually got this yesterday…” she takes a letter out of her purse and hands it to them. “I think I’m going to dye my hair brown and move out of Bobby’s apartment. And I might hide for a bit.”

“No,” Y/N shakes her head, “we can get Penelope and the rest of Spencer’s friends to look into this, please? Please you can’t hide anymore this is too serious.”

“This is classic stalker behaviour,” Spencer says as he reads over the letter a few times. “They want to murder you and then kill themselves… do they bring this up often?”

“Yeah,” Maeve agrees. “He has a thing with suicide he’s said I should just kill myself and spare everyone the stress…”

“Wait,” Y/N stands and flicks through all her paperwork, “that girl who you turned down for a Ph.D. handed in the same thesis to me about cell deterioration in people with suicidal ideation.”

“That sounds like it matches up,” Spencer agrees. “I think I can have Penelope email you some information on the student so you can take it to the police?”

“Thank you, Spencer,” she smiles at him and Y/N can’t help but feel like a third wheel somehow.

Because of course her straight best friend, who she’s been in love with for 2 years, would meet her ex-boyfriend and be instantly attracted to him. It’s her luck. And by the way, Spencer is smiling at her, she knows he thinks she’s pretty. She’s known him long enough to remember when he looked at her like that… she clears her throat and gets them to stop making googly eyes at each other.

“We have a flight to catch soon too,” she reminds him. “I’m going to go work with my students if you two want to stay here and talk to Spencer’s co-workers.”

“Yeah,” Maeve agrees quickly. “That sounds good.”

“Can I talk to you first?” Spencer asks, pulling her into the other room and closing the door.

“What’s up?”

“You’re jealous,” he reads her just as well as she reads him.

“And you think she’s pretty,” she bites back. “I’m not jealous, I’m envois. I wished for a very long time that she would love me back and all it takes is a single smile from you and she’s probably willing to leave bobby.”

“But she’s not you,” Spencer replies. “It’s not that easy for me to fall in love, you know that. It took us years to fall as in love with each other as we were and it never went away. Meeting her can’t replace how I feel about you.”

“We can’t do this now,” she stops him. “Sit on it, tell me tomorrow when we open the time capsule. Mean it when you say it, don’t just try and calm me down with your words.”

She leaves the room, walking right past Maeve and into the lab. Helping the first student to call her attention and leaving her best friends to mingle.

—

She has a nap on the plane, Spencer did too, their heads resting against each other as they slept through the turbulence and the crying babies, waking up for the landing and departure. They get a car for the weekend, and the drive to her parent's house is so, so, so quiet.

“I’m not ready for how weird this is going to be” She whispers.

“It’s not going to be weird.”

“Yes, it is,” she’s adamant.

Her bed is still there for them to spend the night in, so are her parent's and brothers' beds if he doesn’t want to sleep beside her. And the couches and the fridge and anything big that she couldn’t move out alone yet.

“Why? Because we have to sleep in the same bed again, because it’s the house with all our memories or because the time capsule has letters addressed to our kids?”

“Yes.”

They both laugh at her bluntness, “we were so hopeful back then.”

“We had no reason not to be,” he says. “Your parents were very good at reminding me that our dreams can come true if we work hard enough.”

“They were great parents,” she agrees. “I miss them so much…”

“Would it be weird if I went to the grave?”

“No,” she lets out a deep breath, “they loved you.”

He pulls onto their old street and her heart is in her stomach. She can’t believe they’re actually doing this, they’re actually together again at her parent's house. He pulls into her driveway, her dad's truck is still parked out front and it looks exactly the same as it used to.

They grab their bags, she opens the door and then they’re alone in her old house. “See,” she teases, “it feels fuckin weird.”

“It’s so cold,” Spencer whispers. “Not like freezing, it just doesn’t feel right in here.”

“I know,” she agrees, taking her things and heading up the stairs towards her old bedroom.

“It’s grey…” Spencer whispers as he enters the room. “What happened to the purple?”

“My mom was bored when she was recovering from the chemo and she wanted to paint, so we did it,” she shrugs, “it was a fun weekend.”

Spencer puts his things in the corner and somehow it feels like they’re 15 again. He used to put his backpack there, he’d kick off his shoes and dive into her bed, waiting for afternoon cuddles and a nap before dinner and then they’d do homework until her curfew when he’d walk back to his house and wave to her from his window.

He kicks off his shoes again and she just sits on the edge of her bed, watching him. He takes off his suit jacket and hangs it on the hook behind her door, another thing he remembered to do almost by instinct.

“It’s like you never left,” she whispers.

He nods, “can I tell you now that I feel the same way, that I miss being loved too.”

It’s way too early in the weekend to be here already. “No,” she whispers. “Don’t do this to me again, please? Don’t offer to love me if you’re not certain that you’ll stay.”

“No one can be?” He reminds her as he sits beside her on her bed.

“You dying and you breaking my heart are two very different things,” she replies. “It would be easier if you died.”

“How?” He looks offended.

“Because then no one else can have you,” she can’t look at him and the tears come back. It fucking sucks. It hurts and she’s embarrassed.

“It’s killed me thinking about you all these years, wondering if you ever replaced me. I spent my whole childhood dreaming about being your wife and then I had to just imagine you with someone else for the last 15 years and it sucked.”

He doesn’t reply.

She shakes the tears away, clearing her throat slightly, “we’re either together or we’re not. Pick one. I can’t be stuck in limbo anymore.”

“No, I can’t just agree to go back to how it was before,” he shakes his head, “I’m not going to live up to your expectations. We are two completely different people now, we can’t just pick up where we left off without us fighting about it. I’m never going to be the same to you as I was when we were kids because I don’t know who that Spencer is anymore. I haven’t been him for a long time and this Spencer is really bad at pretending.”

He’s more assertive now, he was never this confident to fight with her when they were kids and then again he didn’t have a reason to.

They were happy back then.

“Would you like to date again and get to know each other as we are now?” She compromises.

“What if you don’t like who I am now? What if I let you down?”

“You can’t,” she can’t help but smile. “Because even after everything that’s happened, just looking at you fills me with the same feeling it did when we were kids. You’re always going to be my best friend, no matter what, even if we don’t have the same interests anymore or if you’re a bit more annoying…”

It makes him giggle and that’s what she wanted, “see? Look at us? We can do this, we just have to talk about it. I’m open to the fact that you’re a different man now from your trauma and you’re accepting of the fact I’m incredibly damaged from mine, and that we might always be, but one day we’ll laugh about it.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be laughing,” he teases and it feels like it did back then.

“No? I’m going to bring it up to tease you then,” she warns him, “because you’re cute when you’re frustrated.”

“You’re also more annoying than I remember,” he teases her right back and moves in to tickle her the way he used to.

She’s still ticklish. And he still remembers where. He tackles her back against the bed and she tries to push him off but she’s already giggling too hard, eyes closed as she tries to squirm out of his reach. But his arms are somehow longer than before? He wraps around her and digs into her sides with a hearty laugh and then it becomes a hug.

She settles again and he’s still on top of her and her arms wrap around him. His face is in the crook of her neck and she rests her cheek on his head, brushing her jaw along his hair and breathing deeply. She’s missed this so much in the last 15 years.

“I still love you,” he’s the one to say it first and all the tension in her body drops.

“Thank god,” she sighs and holds him a bit tighter. “I still love you.”

There’s a weird feeling in the air, one she hasn’t felt in a very long time. Not since they were sitting in that field, in Spencer’s mom's car, trying to figure out how they were going to have sex in the back seat.

She kisses the top of his head gently and he kisses the side of her neck in return and her breathing hitches. So he kisses her again, this time on the pulse point and up towards her Jaw and her eyes close as she leans into the contact.

It’s been a very long time since he’s seen most of her body, and yet as he strips her clothes off and covers her with his lips, it’s like nothings changed. He did this the first time too, carefully kissing everywhere but with a lot more nerves.

“It’s been a very long time since I’ve done this,” she reminds him, “so please don’t stop.”

He laughs, kissing her cheek and looking down at her. “We’re doing this?”

She nods, “there’s no one here to stop us.”

“And no reason to stay quiet,” he teases back, looking around her room quickly, “it’s strange being back here.”

“We never actually had sex in here,” she whispers, pecking his lips softly and then realizing that’s the first real kiss they’ve shared in 15 years.

He lunges in and kisses her again, hand on her cheek as she rests back against the pillow, he slides a leg in-between her own, grinding against her softly as he kisses her, swiping a tongue along her bottom lip, he used to love making out with her.

They could make out for hours on end, hot and heavy, grinding together but never taking it anywhere. It was just as fun to them as anything else, up until they had sex for the first time. Then it was all they wanted to do, only back then they were both more scared of being caught than actually doing it, and it’s not like they hadn’t been experimenting with each other their whole lives.

They had baths together as kids, they spent a lot of time alone as children and they hit puberty at the same time… she’ll never forget the day they learned what masturbating was, they went home and tried it alone and reported right back to each other the next day.

It was always meant to happen, he was the only person she wanted to take her virginity back then. And she wasn’t mad at him for taking it and then leaving, she was mad at him for having sex with her a million more times before he left.

But he was always so delicate with her and she was just as soft with him, they loved each other and respected each other like it was second nature to them, and it was so easy to slip back into that. She knew everything he liked, he remembered what spots elicited the best responses from her. It was like they never missed a beat.

His clothes come off just as quickly as hers, she’s missed him so much over the years. Remembering their first time for far too long, thinking about him at the worst moments, typically right as pleasure overtook her. She’s been saying his name when she cums for so long it’s the only thing she knows how to do.

“Spencer please?” She whines as they grind together, her lips just as swollen as his.

She sits up and takes him with her, he kneels in front of her and she uses the free space to get off the bed and search through her suitcase. “I brought condoms for a reason,” she laughs as she hands them to him. “I figured this would happen at some point.”

“I did too,” he smirks, “but I also saw tonight that you’re on the pill?”

She nods and laughs, “you’re kidding?” She climbs back into her bed and suddenly she’s nervous, “I mean, yeah, we could? But how do I know you’re clean? You’ve slept with a lot of people since we were together.”

“6 isn’t a lot,” he retorts, “but I just thought I’d ask, I still want you to be the first person I do that with.”

“You’re asking and you can’t even say it?” She teases him, shoving him lightly and taking the condoms from him.

His whole demeanour changes then, “you’d let me fuck you raw?”

She forgets how to breathe then, simply nodding with her jaw dropped, mouth breathing, deeply, she’s shocked. She finally swallows, returning the moisture to her mouth, “yeah…”

“What else would you let me do?” He whispers, drawing her in closer until she’s sitting in his lap and running her hands down his bare chest.

“Anything,” she whispers back, “I’ve missed your touch.”

He hums, brushing his nose against hers before kissing her softly. “Do you think about me still?”

Of course he remembered when she told him that.

There was one day where he never came over, she was waiting and waiting and he wasn’t showing up so she eventually went over to get him. Finding him having an anxiety attack in his room, admitting to her and apologizing profusely for thinking about her when he masturbated the night before. He was afraid she would think he was gross and then hate him. When in reality she was thinking about him too.

She nods, “it’s hard not to when you’re the best I’ve ever had.”

“I’m all you’ve ever had,” he reminds her. Or at least so he thinks.

“No,” she shakes her head, “there was another guy in high school.”

“What?” He furrows his brows, “I thought you said you didn’t?”

“I didn’t really want to, but, I had sex with Kyle VanNuss? Do you remember him?” She asks carefully, scared that this is ruining absolutely everything when she was just so close to having him again.

“I hated him,” Spencer replies. “I’m sorry it wasn’t good.”

“it’s fine it was 12 years ago,” she laughs, “I really wanted to sleep with people, I would have loved to have been able to, but I need this first. I need to feel totally and completely safe and loved and appreciated, the way you make me feel.”

“Demisexuality is defined by—

“Don’t quote textbook definitions at me, I love you and only you and no one compares. Now if there’s a spencer-sexual term, that’s me, and that’s how I’d like to keep it,” she tries to keep a straight face but she ends up laughing and dragging him down with her.

He rests his forehead on her shoulder, arms around her waist, they’re so close and completely naked and it feels right, “this is all I want.”

She sits up a bit, reaching between them and gripping his cock at the base and he moans. He’s bigger than she remembers, he still makes such beautiful sounds as she strokes him and then she runs the head of his cock along her folds and he tosses his head back with another delicious moan.

“Put it in,” he requests.

She sinks down onto him with more ease than she thought she would, always so turned on by him, it’s easy. She bottoms out and rests back against his legs, sitting in his lap, holding him incredibly close. It feels like every single part of him is touching her and she still wants more. Reconnecting their lips, his hands move down to her hips to help her move, grinding and bouncing they make a rhythm that is completely theirs, it works and she’s so lost in him.

Moaning into his mouth, feeling his hands on her body, his chest against hers and his tongue in her mouth. It’s all she’s wanted for a very long time, and it’s overwhelming. She tries to hold herself together but it feels so good, she’s on the edge of every single emotion in the book as she rides him there.

She breaks the kiss to hold him tighter, kissing his shoulder before he picks her up and lays her back against the bed, crawling between her legs and sliding back in. It’s easier at this angle, he slides in and out so easy, his thumb is on her clit and his mouth on her breasts as she lays there, blissed out and moaning, a tear slips down her face and she quickly wipes it away.

It’s all a lot and according to him, he’s staying forever. This isn’t the last time it’ll happen, it’s actually the first of many, the first of forever, and only time will tell how long that forever lasts.

Permanent tag list

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#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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bokuroo-squeals · 4 years ago

Text

"I love you, and you love me. Isn't that enough?"+ Best Friend's Brother with Osamu

If this does well, I might do a part 2 but I seriously don't think this is good. It's written a little to awkward for my liking.

Event masterlist here.

Stolen glances were your favorites, getting to be unapologetically in love with someone and your secret unknown to the world. In silence,you could appreciate him, the color of his eyes, the tip of his nose, how his eyes crinkled in delight when he laughed. Delicious moments where you could enjoy him.

By stolen glances was the only way in which you could reach Osamu like the idiot in love you were, because you knew that if his brother ever found out how hard your heart beats for him, not only would he be scandalized, you also believed that he would also feel betrayed. After all, Atsumu had vocalized plenty of times his disdain at the thought of you and his brother together.

You were a good friend, you really were, and while you couldn't stop from falling har for his brother- yet you admit that you loved every second of your feelings- at least you did stop yourself from acting on them, as much as it was possible. Of course you tried, though it was hard when his own brother looked at you with a glint so fond on his eyes, when his warm hands seemed to find yours with no problem when you were close, but never reaching for them, just enough to brush yours and give you a taste of what they feel like.

You continue to watch Osamu form the distance, in your seat next to his brother while the younger twin laughs at something Suna said, and his laugh could be at his friend's words, but his eyes are on you. He turns his head to the game they're playing, the sofa small with two big bodies like theirs seating in them.

"Say, Y/n" Atsumu calls for your attention, looking at the sealing deep in thoughts. "Would you be interested in me setting you up with someone"

The spit in your mouth makes you choke with his words.

How were you supposed to react to the sudden proposition, and what were you supposed to say? Should you tell him that the only guy you're interested in at the moment was his twin? The brother that he prohibited you from dating since day one?

You're eyes travel again to Osamu, who isn't looking at you, but with the way his eyebrows furrow, you are aware of him listening, and your poor heart can't handle the pressure. By the sight of it, he doesn't seem to happy about the conversation Atsumu is intending to have, and neither are you but it's not like you can't tell him that, so with a sigh, one you hope sounds tired and annoyed enough to convince him, you kindly reject the direction he wants to take.

"No, thanks" cool, calm, you remember, stay cool and calm. Yet, Atsumu can't read the room, or chooses not to do it, as always, and continues despites it.

"C'mon, you can't be single forever. I know this guy, he saw a photo of you and he's interested in meeting you" he moves to face you, a self-satisfied smile on it, as if he is about to make something incredible by setting you up– he's not, in fact, you think he's really stupid in this moment– and his brows nudged towards you like an invitation to say yes.

By now, you're too afraid to turn to steal a glance at his brother, being it for a fear of how pissed you think he might be, or because of the fear of the blond catching you, either way, your eyes stayed focused on your idiotic best friend.

"I don't care, you're lame and so must be your friend" with a hand pushing him away, you're about to end the conversation "Anyways, instead of focusing on my love life, you should start one yourself" you huffed, ending the talk.

Atsumu pouts, and while he's not pleased with your crude answer, he listens, leaving you alone. Although that doesn't mean he's dropping his irritating antics, finding another prey, his brother.

"How about you, 'Samu? There's this girl I already rejected, but I guess she'll be interested on a date with you. Obviously, I am the handsome twin, but you're not that bad yourself"

It's not your place, it really isn't, to say no, to tell your friend to fuck off and leave Osamu alone because you want to be the only one for him. But you seriously want to do it, shout that he can't set up his brother with a random girl because you feel like he already belongs to you. And you know it's selfish, that's why you stay silent, with an invisible scowl and gritted teeth and fists clenching a little too hard.

For the nth time that night, Osamu's eyes land on your figure, meeting your's in the process. The difference is, that this time, he's look is both cold and hot. Cold as if they're telling you how tired they are, and hot as if to tell you he's ready to make you step up your game, almost challenging you.

"Yeah, of course, just know that once she's met me, she'll have clear who's the better twin. Won't even remember a thing 'bout you" Osamu's smirk is teasing, and everyone could say it was towards his brothers, but you knew better. It was dedicated to you.

A pang of something hurts in your chest, maybe of jealousy, and maybe it's the pain of hearing him giving up on whatever you're supposed to have. It's wrong, you're feeling the guilt of those sensations, because you're the one that has pushed him off, denying every single advice that could have been done, and still, you want him just for you.

It isn't until hours later, when Suna has left and Atsumu has fallen asleep when you talk for the first time this day, aside from the greetings.

You stand in the kitchen, a glass of water in your hand, trying to calm how agitated your insides are. At this point, the twins have left a disaster of your mind and heart, coming like a hurricane of emotions that hits you hard enough to hurt. A part of you wants to scream, declare your undying love for him, for his deep voice and calming irises, declare that he's yours and yours only– you remind yourself that he isn't– but the other side of you is too afraid, afraid of hurting the one person that has been next to you through everything and anything, the one who has picked up the broken pieces and helped you come back as one stronger version. You don't want to hurt or hurt anyone, which it's so damn hard in your position, but you know that you'd never forgive your heart if you let down Atsumu, if you even dare to disappoint him.

Osamu's entrance pulls you out of your trance, successfully taking your attention towards him, although he appears to ignore your presence, walking past you without a word. Painful, that's too painful for you.

"Osamu…" you trailed off, trying to make you as small as you can.

"Save it. I'm not in the mood to talk to you" he's cold, and you hate it, he's never been like this to you, but you can't blame him either. While he's cold, there's just the tiniest hint of anger on his voice, making you more unsettled.

"I'm sorry! I don't want to hurt you, you know that, is just that–" he interrupts you. He's pissed, his eyes show it, his chest puffs and shoulders tense, a sight you never want to see again.

"It doesn't matter, it's not like we're anything, anyway" his words cut deep inside you, damn they do.

You wished you could unhear the pain behind what he says, but it's right there, and it shows his vulnerability.

"That's not true… you know how I feel about you"

"Then let's do something about it! I love you and you love me, isn't that enough?!" The raw emotion touches your insides in the most painful but delicious way. You want to hold him close and comfort him, yet you don't think you have the right to do it. "So what if my brother doesn't approve it?! Are we supposed to forget about how we feel? Am I supposed to ignore how much I love when our hands meet? How much do I adore the way you look at me?! Or pretend that I'm burning to kiss you?! I'm sorry, Y/n but I don't care anymore about anything Atsumu has to say at this point."

He comes your way with big steps, and you coward a little at the sudden movement, and then he kisses you. A kiss is full of irritation, annoyance, love, care, all the bottled up feelings showing in a kiss that says more than words.

"I'm not hiding up how I feel anymore, so this is me officially asking you to be mine. You can reject me and we'll forget this happened, or you can accept and we'll face Atsumu, together".

Your answer is obvious, coming in the form of another kiss, one that's more tender, sweet and short.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu #haikyuu osamu #osamu x reader #osamu imagine #osamu angst #osamu fluff #miya osamu #miya osamu x reader

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ecclais-fouoras · 4 years ago

Text

"Why do we always make love in the dark?"

WARNINGS: SMUT, MENTION OF PAST SEXUAL ASSAULT, INSECURITIES, (BRIEF MENTION OF SCOLIOSIS)

Enjoy !

Again, it was 8 pm we were both in bed, our hands around each other, in the dark.

And again I asked her to turn on the lights, and she refused.

And again I respected that.

We had made love so many times, sometimes even just sex,

and yet she was still insecure showing me her body.

Wilhelmina had her issues yes, but I still found her beautiful despite all the things she thought of herself.

So tonight I asked why, why did she not want me to make love to her with the lights on.

"Mina ?"

I asked softly as my hand kept circling her clit while i was on top of her.

"Yes baby....mmmm....what is it..?"

-"why can't you let me see you like this ? I think you're beautiful, and yet I can't even see your pretty face when you cum.."

She was stunned by my words, she moaned softly and her eyes got watery. I felt her tremble underneath me, but it wasn't from coming, so i stopped my hand licking her wetness from my finger

"Babe, I've seen you, naked and with clothes on, laughing and sobbing while tears stream down those rosie cheeks and I'm still here. Because I wanna be. I want you to be mine, and me to be yours. Yet when we have sex, i can't see anything ?"

She registered my words and picked up all her courage to answer

"I know that, but when we are intimate it is different. I'm scared, I'm scared you'll see something i hate and run away..."

"I swear if this is about your back...."

"YES OKAY OBVIOUS IT IS"

she got mad and pushed me off of her and started to leave the bed.

"Mina.. stop... Where are you going, we need to sort this out now"

I breathed as I rushed to her side of the bed and circle my arms around her body to stop her from standing up.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING LET ME GO"

"NO ! NO ! FOR GOD SAKE I WILL NOT LET YOU LEAVE WHEN THINGS GET ROUGH, OR UNCOMFORTABLE TO TALK ABOUT...You need to work for this..."

I pointed back and forth between us.

"Honey, mina tell me what do you think will happen ? I've seen your back already, it didn't change anything, you are beautiful to me, with your scoliosis or without" I ran my finger down her spine and she shivered when I kissed the bruises on top of her spine.

"I know...but...you...have...never seen all of me at once, and especially when...i give up...control"

there it was, why did i not see that, it ,as obvious that during sex she was vulnerable, and she hated that as much as she loved to be topped.

I saw her summon all her courage to say,

TW: MENTION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

"When I was younger..the boy that I was sort of "dating"....he...he wasn't very.. patient with me...and..."

She was sobbing, sniffling between words.

"Well.. i wasn't ready to have sex...and...after a few months...he got tired of waiting...and when he got to my house on day...he started to make out with me...ln my room on the bed....he undressed me and started to play...with himself...but as he got me naked... and flipped me over roughly to penetrate me he saw my back..and he...just stopped yelled that was disgusting...that he wasn't going to touch that...and he just jacked off...because he said i was giving him blue balls...and came on my back...then he just left."

She was now crying, curled in a ball on the bed we so often shared, and i was devastated.

Angry and mad at this asshole, for trying to break my Mina, and for having done that to her.

"Mina, I'm so sorry, i didn't know...it's ok we don't have to ever turn the lights on...I don't want you to be uncomfortable"

i said while spooning her and brushing her tears away.

After what felt like ages and her crying stopped in broke the silence.

"You know, i never told you that, but I was...too"

she turned around to face me, and looked at me confused

"Well, you know what he did to you..."

"...What ?"

"Well...god i hate those words, sexualy assaulted baby"

"No..no..no you don't understand.. he didn't do that...he was my boyfriend..and we'll just was tierd of waiti..."

-" Mina what you just described to me is sexual assault, it doesn't matter if he was your boyfriend, or your teacher, your family or friends. That has nothing to do with what he did to you. Mina you've been living like this, convincing yourself that it was normal, but it is not."

She was shocked by the words that came out of my mouth

"I..."

"I know babe"

she didn't need to speak, i understood everything perfectly, she curled up and nuzzled my neck, while I stroked her dark red hair.

"It's okay baby, your okay "

i tried soothing her with my words

"Your so pretty Mina, so Lovely, and precious."

"Thank you baby"

An hour later, we had both calmed down, she was now sprawled all over me, and I was stroking her leg softly.

"You know, I do know you'd never hurt me, and it's just my fear talking but why do you want the lights to be on ?"

She asked quietly.

Silence, silence piercing your hears, you had to think of something.

You couldn't tell her the truth but a simple 'because I like it' would never be enough.

So you didn't reply, at some point she even though you were asleep, but when she looked at you your eyes were wide open.

But she waited

"You know... you can tell me anything right ?

Of course you knew, but it was something you didn't like to talk about.

But you should, Mina and you had been together for a little over 5 month now, even though none of you said it, you knew you loved each other, she should know.

"I...when i was a kid... I always slept with the lights off, in the full darkness, I thought "if I can't see, the monsters can't see rather and it's easier to hide right ?" So every night I would sleep with no lights on... And one day my parents took in..one of my mom's friend who was getting divorced and was kicked out of his house...after a few days he would come into my room every night... I couldn't see him... and well..after a few weeks my mom found out and kicked him out...After that i couldn't sleep in the dark anymore, i was too scared he'd come back..."

She looked at me lovingly and kissed the skin below her mouth.

"Don't worry I'm okay now, i went to therapy for years afterwards, and well he is in jail because I apparently wasn't the only one he visited, and now I'm all healed"

She took my words, and a few moments passed by.

We both had your hands around each other.

You told Mina she needed therapy, for everything she felt about herself and her trauma.

She nodded and she said she'd make the appointment tomorrow.

We started kissing each other, it was slow and sweet. After we parted i said

"I just prefer to have sex with the lights on, and that is not the only reason, i just like it more, you can see what you do, your partners face, and body, and the way they move and moan. It's just priceless."

"I..."

"I know, we don't have to, I wont push that on you ok ? I'm just telling you what I fe.."

She cut you off by kissing you and replied

"No..i just want...to try tonight, if that's okay with you of course."

"Now? Like.. right now right now... or now like later now ?"

You rambled as you got a little excited at the idea.

"Now.." she rolled on top of you and kissed you again.

"Oh..baby if we do this...we do this my way"

you whispered in her ear as you flipped her over so she was beneath you.

She moaned at the sudden mouvements and whined when she felt your weight leave her body.

"Are you sure you're good ?"

You asked while holding the chord switch of your bedside lamp, she nodded rapidly and you pulled the chord.

There was now a low light in the room, and her skin lit up.

You went back to work, and unbutton her nightshirt, while kissing the middle of her torso, you went down further, admiring her from below. She was so pretty like this, panting and her hair all messy.

You took off her panties and kissed your way up her thighs, she shivered in expectation.

"Mmm... I can't wait to taste you mina"

She groaned loudly at your words,

"Your being such a good girl baby"

"...mmm...oh only for you darling...OH"

You cut her off by puting her clit into your mouth, and circling it with the tip of your tongue. You moved faster, never slowing your pace as you found her gaze with your hungry eyes. Her mouth in an O shape as you played with her bundle of nerves, her hips lifting up for even more contact.

"...please...baby"

"You need to tell me what you need, sweetie"

".mm..more...ah" she plead with her shaky voice.

"Come on baby you can say it...use your words pretty girl" you cooed as she was trying to express her needs.

"God..oh...I..want...your fingers..in me

.. please !"

You couldn't deny her request any longer so you easily pushed two fingers inside her hole as she screamed.

"OH GOD..YES..JUST LIKE THAT..."

You knew exactly what she liked so after a few seconds you curled your fingers inside her while sucking hard on her clit and she came eyes shut crying out your name. You went up her body and stared into her eyes

"Hey"

"...Hi" she breathed out.

"You were perfect baby, and oh your face when you come...i swear I almost came from just looking at it."

"Oh..did you now ?"

She replied biting my neck softly, and when she lifted my hips so I could sit on her face I knew this was gonna be a long night, and that i was so lucky to have her, and we both knew that we'll never make love in the dark again.

#wilhemina venable x reader #sarah paulson fanfiction #soft!mina #ms venable #sarah paulson characters

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roccinan · 3 years ago

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I was struck by an idea last night after reading one of your posts and it just wouldn't leave me alone! So during the Mint Heist, the Professor is supposed to be in his early 40s and Tokio in her late 20s approaching 30. So I'd assume there is a 13-15 year age difference between them. We also know from the first episode that Tokio started doing robberies as a teenager, with her older boyfriend.

Now, suppose in an AU where the robberies don't work out quite so well and the boyfriend leaves Tokio to go his own way. Tokio is a teenager, she's left all alone, wanted by the police, she can't go home to her mom. She's lost and scared but she decides to try to manage it on her own. Unfortunately at that age she doesn't have the experience to plan her robberies well.

Cue to 30ish year old Sergio minding his own business and scouting out a location for a smaller heist for him and Andrés (the Mint heist didn't pay itself after all) and he stumbles in the middle of a bad robbery run by a teenager. Tokio gets hurt and Sergio wants to help so he manages to buy her enough time to get away. He tracks her down and more or less takes care of her wound. Tokio is mutinous about it but on the other hand it's nice that somebody takes care of her.

Sergio kind of interrogates her to find out the whole story and is in a big dilemma because he doesn't want to leave her alone to continue to live like that. As always when Sergio doesn't know what to do, he thinks of his brother and he remembers a very familiar scene : a younger kid, hurt and alone, looking mistrustfully at a young man who appeared out of thin air to take care of him, wanting to believe the stranger but at the same time knowing good things don't happen to him. So Sergio decides to adopt a 16-year-old Silene, like his brother before him.

So they just start to live together, and Sergio teaches her everything she wants to know, including how to plan/run a heist. He doesn't know what he's doing, but neither did Andrés and it all turned out all right in the end didn't it? Besides, she seems happier than before. Tokio is safe, loved and has found someone to trust who will never leave her. The heists are merely a bonus. Andrés hates Tokio the minute he sets his eyes on her. The feeling is mutual. For the first time in his life he's jealous because Sergio found someone to love...like he loves HIM. He even wants to get rid of her until one evening Sergio looks at him with his big eyes and says "Andrés she was just like me, and I could help her, like you helped me", and Andrés still hasn't figured out a way to say no to his Hermanito after 20 years. So now the 2 have an understanding where they don't stab each other because Sergio would be sad. They don't acknowledge that they might begin to like each other.

Just, all the father - daughter feels that Sergio-Tokio have in canon dialed up to 11.

Hi hi! Before I get into your idea (that I love btw!), just wanted to say hello!! You were the first person who ever commented on "Hermanito" and I remember being so stunned by your lovely review, especially because it was the very first lcdp fic I wrote and I was worried that it wasn't getting feedback because readers hated it. So you're a big part of why I kept writing for the fandom afterwards and I was so happy to meet someone who cared so much about the hermanos :)

re: the idea: OMG That is big brained, I love it. I think the professor was mentioned as late 30s early 40s during the Mint Heist so those numbers are definitely correct! The age difference between Sergio and Tokyo is what I always headcanoned as the difference between him and Andres, which just makes it fascinating.

I kept reading this ask, wondering where it was going, and it absolutely did not disappoint. YES, AU where Sergio adopts Tokyo early is not something I knew I needed so much until now. I just love his relationship with Tokyo so much (easily the second best platonic relationship in the show!). And I can see it- Tokyo too stubborn and afraid to go home, but also lost, scared, and afraid to show vulnerability :') This feels so much like her and it's such an interesting concept about what would happen if she and her boyfriend broke up early. Because I think she'd try to continue her life of crime, but like you said, without him around, she wouldn't know where to start.

And I love your idea for how Sergio would cross paths with her. It sounds like something he would definitely do for Tokyo, and yes LOL, Tokyo would be so resistant at first, but also secretly enjoy it so much because she's desperate for a safety net (not that she'll let Sergio know). And I love how this cements Sergio as even more of a father figure/guardian angel in Tokyo's mind than in canon, just by virtue of the situation and how much younger she is.

Of course Sergio would overthink it XD But you're really killing me here, this is the exact kind of content my heart craves asdfasf. This part especially:

As always when Sergio doesn't know what to do, he thinks of his brother and he remembers a very familiar scene : a younger kid, hurt and alone, looking mistrustfully at a young man who appeared out of thin air to take care of him, wanting to believe the stranger but at the same time knowing good things don't happen to him. So Sergio decides to adopt a 16-year-old Silene, like his brother before him.

PLEASE, that parallel just *gets me*. Because in very many ways, it's the same situation and I love that Sergio sympathizes with her from the start and it's fascinating how in that instant, he goes, "What would Andres do? What did Andres do? Imagine what my life would be like if Andres chose to walk away..." then he makes up his mind and takes Tokyo in :'D

I just love fatherly/big brother Sergio so much. And this is the perfect scenario where we get hermanito AND hermano Sergio at the same time, with bonus "daughter" Tokyo and I'm this close to screaming. LOL to Tokyo, Sergio looks like he has his so put together and he knows exactly what he's doing when in reality, Sergio is just winging it and hoping it turns out for the best like it did with him and Andres.

Andrés hates Tokio the minute he sets his eyes on her. The feeling is mutual. For the first time in his life he's jealous because Sergio found someone to love...like he loves HIM.

This is so in-character, I NEED it now. Andres is now a grandfather. In all universes, Andres and Tokyo will hate each other the moment they meet. But also in a hilarious way, this works so well now that we know he was the one who wanted her in the banda in canon. Like, all this time, the spiritual connection between Andres, Silene, and Sergio was bound by fate XD He hates her because she's literally the genbend version of him and she hates him because he hates her (+ he's just like, an annoying person). And I can so see it- Andres would be burning with envy over Sergio's attachment to Tokyo, but he wouldn't know why until Sergio spells it out for him.

Then he does the surprise pikachu face. Turns out it's just a jarring experience to see his hermanito, the one person he loves above all else, pick up his own hermanita and love her above all else. Once the brothers have that talk and Andres has this big epiphany, he Knows he can never get rid of Silene. Plus like you said, Andres can never deny Sergio anything, especially knowing how much he loves his "daughter" :')

Andres *through grit teeth*: Welcome to the familia, Silene. I will lie down my life for you because Sergio loves you.

Silene *also through grit teeth*: Thank you, Andres. I too will lie down my life for you because Sergio loves you.

asdfasdf They think they're just putting up with each other for Sergio's sake, and actively refuse to acknowledge the fact that they're growing on each other. But Sergio knows. Their "bonding" was all part of his plan and he just innocently sits between them with his milk and cookies while they all watch a movie that he picked because Andres and Silene couldn't agree on one.

Thank you so much for this ask omg. This is an AU I need with all my heart now. The funny thing is I actually really wanted to write a Tokyo & Sergio story, but could never settle on an idea. Now this idea with the father-daughter feels between Sergio & Tokyo dialed up to 11 set against the backdrop of extreme hermanos, is like a gift from heaven :'D

#yourcococris #thank you so much for stopping by!#I love this AU so much omg #if you don't write this #I might do it some day because WOW I think the world needs it #and by world I'm referring to you me and maybe 2 other people asdfasdf #PLEASE I just want Sergio with his brother and his daughter

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sunsiac · 6 years ago

Text

king and queen / jaehyun [2]

genre: murder mystery, romance, angst

member: jaehyun

word count: 2k

warnings: none

summary: a young prince and a knight's daughter are an unlikely pair, but nonetheless, these two were attached at the hip as children. Without any royal duty or stress, it proved to be an unexpected yet beautiful friendship. even as they grew up together, they only developed to be more inseparable. they proved this when she, hakyeong, turned 16, and he, jaehyun, gave her one of the most precious gifts he could; both of their first kisses. but it was bad timing. their respective responsibilities dawned on them quicker than they would've imagined, forcing them to grow apart. 5 years later, the both of them 21, meet again after jaehyun's older brother who is about to be crowned king is found dead. A string of murders throughout the castle force them to come together and find the one behind it before one of them is next.

—

JAEHYUN :

There was a certain point, I don't know how long ago, that I couldn't bring myself to face Hakyeong anymore. Though I can't remember my exact reasoning, I remember thinking heavily about the fear of change.

'change isn't always a bad thing,'

I was told this the first time I was denied going out to visit her. And I didn't believe them, because, well, why would I? Back then, change was the only thing standing in the way of me seeing my best friend; my secret lover.

So, for a good time, I resented change.

But, as time went on, I began to fear it. I began to fear the possibility that she had changed. I was afraid to see the girl I fell for a completely different person.

And though I knew change was inevitable in both of us, I couldn't help but be afraid. I didn't want everything we'd been through together to be swept away by all the things we'd gone through separately.

But, soon enough, she stopped trying to reach me too. We cut off all contact, and though I did regret it for a few years, I had no time to myself to act on it.

We never officially separated after that, but with the way we both acted, it obvious that it probably wasn't salvageable.

And eventually, my sadness faded. Change was another normal part of life again, and I condoned it with no extra thought. And after that, it seemed like she had done the same. We went through years of exchanging glances across the room, or small conversations when needed.

Though I could tell there were still a few things hanging in the air every time we spoke, we said nothing about it every time.

But, seeing her now, her hands to her mouth as she stared, I realised that maybe she hadn't changed as much as I thought. Her eyes were glossy as they filled quickly with fat tears. She looked completely wrecked, the sounds of her sobs reaching even where I stood.

That's when her tears began to spill, and, god, I would be lying if I said that didn't make me cry a little more too.

HAKYEONG :

I hated going through the whole next day with the feeling of tears in the back of my eyes, the risk of them spilling over growing every time I spoke. I felt too vulnerable in the unusually empty halls while I was on guard, Hyeonsik missing from the spot he usually occupied next to me.

Because of that, I felt depressingly lonely the entire day, seeing almost no one as I stood on guard constantly. All day, there was only one person that came up to me, or, more fittingly, tried to. Jaehyun was, understandably, surrounded by other guards at all hours of the day. So, when he tried to come up to me, it came as no surprise when someone held him back, telling him he shouldn't talk to someone like me. Someone that he didn't know if he could trust.

I wanted to think that he did trust me, that he knew I would never hurt Hyeonsik, much less him. But, the look in his eyes said nothing. So, I just watched as he nodded.

Though I did wish they wouldn't have stopped him. Because, at this point, I was almost aching for someone familiar, for anything to help lift my mood. But somehow, at least seeing him looking fine after everything, had undeniably lifted my spirits a little bit.

The rest of my day was bland. I had nothing else to do but wait for the sun to set, so that way someone else would come around and take my place for the night. After that, even though I wanted to, at that point I was too burnt out to do much else. So, I decided to just let the entirety of my thoughts encase me and keep me still, ending up in hours spent sitting in the courtyard outside.

It was a strange time to feel homesick, but at that moment, the red roses growing nearby reminded me strangely of the white ones in my mother's garden. God, how much I wanted to go home. Back to my own bed and even Yuta's tricks. I think I would do anything to hear his laugh right now, even if it took a few bruises or bad jokes.

But, I swallowed those thoughts and went back inside, careful to walk quickly through the dimly lit halls before falling asleep in my room in the dorms.

I was on guard for only half the time the next day, but it was still almost dark when I went back to my dorm. And thankfully, besides all the expected things, today was mostly a normal day. Except, there was something I was left to wonder about. Throughout the day, people were being pulled from their posts, returning silently around half an hour later.

It was most likely just questioning about Hyeonsik, so I didn't worry about it much. At least, not until I got a knock on my door.

I was greeted by someone I didn't recognise, a higher-up knight, I guessed. Their uniform was different than a standard knight's; being made a little stronger and a deep red rather than a dark green.

"Lee Hakyeong?"

After my parents had passed away, my adoptive mother had made the choice to let me keep my given surname instead of becoming a Nakamoto. Which, I had probably thanked her for at least one thousand times since then.

I nodded. "Is something wrong?"

His expression was a strange mix of exhaustion and alertness as he spoke, no doubt less than thrilled to say, "Please follow me,"

I should have known he wouldn't have told me.

But, I had no choice but to just follow him. It was an awkward walk, stiff as uncertainty radiated from both of us. But the thing was, I knew why I was nervous, but I didn't know why he was.

We stopped a few minutes later, in front of a door I'd no doubt passed at least a million times before. I'd never thought much about it, but walking in, I realised that maybe I should have.

Though it had the same overall structure of the rest of the castle, it also had a little-personalised flair that really made the room look beautiful. Shelves lined the walls where windows were absent, giving the room an old-fashioned charisma. There were stacks of papers strewn neatly across the desk that veered the left side of the room, and there was even a little glass sculpture of a crown laying near the edge of it.

The rest of the space on the walls was filled with paintings and maps, adding colour to the otherwise brown and gold accented room.

"Miss?"

I looked up, expecting to see the person who had brought me here, but it seemed that in the time I had been distracted they'd left. Now, I was left alone with someone that I did recognise

The royal supervisor was a relatively young man, not too young, but definitely younger than you would expect someone of his position to be. Besides a uniform that was unique to him, he wasn't really visually stimulating in any way, only otherwise adorning smooth black hair and eyes of a similar colour.

Despite his simplicity, he was a powerful man. He was in charge of almost everything the king wasn't; events, training schedules, you name it.

He walked over from his previous spot by the window, dropping what looked like a checklist on the desk before he turned to me expectantly.

"Ah," I let out a soft apology as I sat down in the chair in front of his desk.

He gave me a polite smile as he stuck out his hand. "Hello, I don't believe we've met. My name is Hyunjin,"

I took his hand, shaking it. "Hi. I'm Hakyeong, it's nice to meet you,"

He nodded, not bothering to make any other small conversation as he reached for his paper and a pen.

"I'll assume you know what happened to Sir Hyeonsik?" He asked, his eyes flitting up to meet mine.

I just nodded, looking away.

He let out a soft apology. "I'm sorry. I'm told you were close,"

I didn't know what to say to that.

He cleared his throat, seeming to handle the silence badly as he moved on almost immediately. “I only have some questions for you. So, if you would, please answer them as truthfully as possible,"

This just made me more nervous, as he was obviously just trying to ease me into whatever he was going to ask. But, I agreed as I subconsciously shifted around in my seat.

I knew there was no reason to be nervous, seeing as I really had nothing to do with what happened. But, his impending gaze as he looked at me from over the paper made me feel as I did something wrong.

"Hyeonsik has a fiancée, but you two were also close. Did you two have," he paused, giving me enough time to take in what he was saying. "Anything besides that?"

"No, god, no." I sighed out, almost repulsed as I admitted, "He was like a brother to me,"

He just nodded again, marking something down as he moved on.

"Alright. Now I'll move on to simple questions. Where were you the night when it happened?"

"I was sleeping." I answered, being completely truthful as I added, "My roommate is a chamberlain, and she had gotten back a little before then. So, she woke me up when there was noise,”

A few more pen strokes.

"You were also at the scene quickly, someone said. How?" He asked.

"I asked someone what was going on when I went into the hall," I explained. "I was there so quickly because I ran as fast as I could,"

He squinted slightly at my explanation, seeming a little skeptical, but still kept writing.

"Do you know anyone that would want to hurt him?" He asked, looking up at me expectantly.

I shook my head. "Never. He was everyone’s favourite instructor, and got along with just about everybody he came across. Everyone loved him,"

For whatever reason, he seemed to be slightly disappointed at my answer.

"Okay," he leaned back in his seat and let out a breath. "Last question. The younger prince, Jaehyun, are you close with him?"

I hesitated.

"No. We haven't spoken in months."

He rose a brow. "In months? Are you implying that you had talked more before that?"

"We used to, yes, but what does this have to do with Hyeonsik?" I asked, my brows knitting.

He didn't answer me, making what seemed like last adjustments to his paper as he said, "Thank you for your cooperation. Hopefully, with more information, we'll discover who's behind all of this,"

I didn't know what to say to that, but it seemed like at that point, he just wanted me to leave.

After that, my eyes wandered to his windows where the skies had since melted down from a faint blue to a pitch black. I wasn't exactly looking forward to walking to the dining hall alone when it was it was dark, but I was too afraid to ask for anything, just saying,

"I'm happy to help,”

—

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