#but he was never properly taught to regulate his emotions and cope with loss

[spock-smokes-weed]

At what point does Anakin ‘Darth Vader’ Skywalker give off the vibes that people think he can make healthy decisions for himself?

And if he did leave the Jedi, who do you think would swoop in and offer him support, probably a job, and what ever else he could need? Palpatine. Who do you think he would run to when he starts having visions of Padme dying? Definitely not the people who dismissed his visions of his mother being tortured before. No. He would go to Palpatine. The Sith Lord. Who orchestrated Anakin’s fall from day one.

Him leaving the Jedi wouldn’t have changed the final outcome.

Honestly you kinda hit the nail on the head. Anakin leaving does not fix the core issue of the Jedi order itself. The whole kinda point of Star Wars is that the Jedi order of the republic created the perfect breeding ground to create a figure like Darth Vader. And denying the roll the Jedi played in leading him to the edge is just kinda frustrating to me.

Like Palpatine was only able to sink his claws into him because he offered a judgment free space for Anakin to express his emotions. 

And saying Anakin should have left because he wasn’t cut out for it really ignores the fact how he had no real choice in being a Jedi; Qui-Gon made that decision for him. The Jedi was his family for over a decade. And he’s been told since getting there “you are going to save the universe.” If you think Anakin wasn’t cut out for it because he was to emotional, that’s literally not his fault lmao. It was the adults in his life. I think it’s so unfair to think Anakin should have upended a life that he loves because he’s not good at something he didn’t choose to be. 

[lansangprincess]

Something that I've been thinking about but haven't really talked about—

the only reason why I still talk kindly about Conrad is because he's actually a good representation of how the patriarchy victimizes men

if i knew that mf in real life id be cursing and calling him out to his face for treating someone I know that badly

The only reason why Con has as many stans as he does is because they're empathetic to his struggles and what he's going through. Everybody on the show has experienced loss but his inability to cope with it is emphasized bc everybody deals with grief differently and his is the arguably most self-destructive. He doesn't know how to deal with his emotions and surprise surprise, he represses it like almost every other Man out there. He's never been taught how to regulate his emotions properly and that's not his fault. His father hasn't been a great role model and that's not his fault.

But it's not fair on everyone else that his emotions are so volatile that a slight shift in his mood affects everyone around him to the point they're always having to adjust to that

He believes that the only way he can be happy is if he's with Belly (or otherwise it's just very tied to how she feels about him) and that's not fair to Belly nor him. Women have always been delegated the task to manage the emotions of the men in their lives whether that's their partner, their father, their son, etc. If the series ends with his happy ending being with Belly, it sends the message that he couldn't ever find peace and contentment and growth on his own. And for Belly, it sends the message that if a woman exercises enough patience, their male partner will magically become the ideal and that they should just wait around long enough for that to happen.

It's good for Con to grow and learn how to be a proper partner. It's okay for Belly to be the catalyst for his growth.

That doesn't mean they should end up together.

[hisband]

   MURDOC & SYMPTOMS OF ADHD.

   ADHD is defined as a chronic condition marked by persistent inattention, hyperactivity, and sometimes impulsivity. ADHD begins in childhood and often goes unrecognized into adulthood. this is especially true in the past, and murdoc, being a child raised in the late 60s and early 70s, definitely got filed into the Unrecognized Neurodivergence category. already looked down upon by his teachers for belonging to a notorious, deeply disliked family, murdoc’s behaviour also earned him labels such as “slacker” and “troublemaker.” 

   in ri/se of the ogre, it’s mentioned he did things like cutting classes, distracting his classmates with “endless quacking noises” and making “pointless malicious jokes.” while i do think some of that behaviour may have A) been blown out of proportion by his teachers because they didn’t like him and B) was likely the result of his negligent household, i think he also acted out because... well, he couldn’t help himself, didn’t understand he was being disruptive and was never taught how to control those impulses. impulses that he still has, though they manifest in different ways, such as... 

becoming easily distracted by low-priority activities or external events that others tend to ignore. anyone who knows murdoc at all knows how difficult it is for him to keep his thoughts in a straight line unless he’s in a professional setting ( and even then, he has a tendency to go off on tangents from time to time ). though he’s excellent at setting goals for himself and taking the necessary steps to achieve them, other things tend to catch his eye along with the way. murdoc is very observant, which is both a blessing & a curse depending on the circumstances.

having so many simultaneous thoughts that it’s difficult to follow just one. see above. murdoc has a lot going on in his head at once, and because of that, he struggles to articulate himself when he’s speaking unless he’s had time to plan out his responses ( being a celebrity, he was likely coached how to do this properly ). this may give off the impression that he’s a bit of a ditz, which couldn’t be the furthest thing from the truth. talking out loud can just... be hard for him.

difficulty paying attention or focusing, such as when reading or listening to others. yes, he can be incredibly watchful... if the situation is of the utmost importance or if he feels like he has something to gain. but when he’s trying to focus on something he really doesn’t care about or that won’t benefit him in some way, you’ve lost him.

frequently daydreaming or “zoning out” without realizing it, even in the middle of a conversation. linked to the point above. also ties into point #2 in regards to murdoc thinking about too much at once.

struggling to complete tasks, even ones that seem simple. like i said before, murdoc often has a hard time motivating himself to do things he has minimal interest in. believe it or not, he isn’t trying to be a lazy asshole; his brain chemicals just don’t work the way they’re supposed to. the brain uses electrical impulses to carry messages from one neuron to the next - messages that help us notice things, pay attention and take action. in the brain of someone with adhd, the brain doesn’t always release Enough of those chemicals. when something interesting or exciting comes along for someone with ADHD, however, then our brains releases a larger amount, which helps us get started and stay glued to the task ( which is why murdoc is such an efficient musician / songwriter a decent chunk of the time ). people with ADHD don’t have voluntarily control of the release - we can’t tell ourselves to get started on a task and make it happen unless we’re really into it, or if we fear something bad will happen if we don’t deal with things right on the spot.

a tendency to overlook details, leading to errors or incomplete work. murdoc doesn’t Always exhibit this symptom because he’s such a perfectionist - at least when it comes to subjects he feels genuine passion for, like music and live performances - but when it comes to things he’s less sure about or can’t really bring himself to get invested in, he gets... sloppy.

poor listening skills; for example, having a hard time remembering conversations and following directions. pretty self-explanatory. his drug & alcohol abuse ( both past and present ) really don’t help with his lapses in memory. he’s a lot better at navigating around new locations than he is remembering something someone said to him earlier that day, however. all the travelling he does has helped him get better at figuring out where he needs to go and not panicking when he gets lost.

quickly getting bored and seeking out new, stimulating experiences. another self-explanatory one. this symptom occasionally overlaps with the risk-taking of murdoc’s BPD ( which i plan to discuss in more depth in future posts ). because of the overlap of his BPD & his ADHD, murdoc experiences a special form of inattention as part of dissociative states when he feels emotionally stressed, particularly in response to feelings of rejection, failure, and loneliness. his inattentive ADHD symptoms are particularly prominent in situations that lack external stimulation ( i.e. during boring, routine, or familiar tasks ). it should be noted that those with BPD have a tendency to resort to self-harm in order to alleviate tension; those with ADHD are more likely to regulate emotional symptoms through things like extreme sports, novelty seeking, sexual activity, and aggression. as someone who suffers from both disorders, murdoc’s got a lot on his plate.

poor organizational skills (home, office, desk, or car is extremely messy and cluttered). it depends on the situation and circumstances. when it comes to matters that are important to gor*llaz, murdoc watches over them like a hawk and ensures that everything is in the correct place & order... most of the time, so long as he’s somewhat sober. when it comes to his personal belongings, though? absolute disaster in the earlier phases. his organizational skills don’t start getting better until around phase 4, in which he copes with the loss of control over his life by becoming extremely anal about how everything around him is presented.

tendency to procrastinate. unless the goal in question is extremely time-sensitive & important, yeah - and even Then murdoc will still sometimes leave shit to the last minute. he frequently forgets the thing he means to do before he starts doing something else. when he’s so distracted by outside stimuli, as well as internal thoughts, it can be hard for him to even make it to the starting line. and once he finally does get started, he may become sidetracked by something else more interesting... and so his original task gets delayed even further. do you see where i’m going with this?

trouble starting and finishing projects. thanks to his ADHD-fuelled boredom, murdoc tends to have a lot going on for himself at once. the problem is, he sometimes has trouble finishing his side projects because new ones pop up and replace them. this is why it’s important for murdoc to have a a Primary Project or Goal to worry about - because without one, he’d be aimless.

time blindness. ties in with issues such as chronic lateness & forgetting appointments / deadlines. murdoc, like most people with ADHD, has a distorted sense of time. waiting in line can feel like hours and what feels like fifteen minutes of fun activity can really be forty-five.  if murdoc forgets the purpose of his task, he’ll be uninspired to finish it. those with ADHD have two times: “now and not now.” for example, if a work project is due next week, we figure we’ll have plenty of time to do it - and the next thing we know it’s monday. that sort of thing. this distortion of time leads us to believing we have more time to complete tasks than what we actually do.

constantly losing or misplacing things (keys, wallet, phone, documents, bills). this is why murdoc needs to watch closely where he sets things down. if he’s not paying enough attention, his brain won’t lay down a memory of the event - it’ll feel like it never happened. this can make him a real pain in the ass to live with at times, because more often than not the object he lost will be in plain sight and he’ll be tearing the place apart trying to find it.

   but murdoc’s most prominent ADHD symptom of all would be his impulsivity. said impulsivity makes it difficult for him to inhibit his behaviours, comments, and responses. he tends to act without thinking, or react without considering the consequences. he has a habit of interrupting others, blurting out the first thing that pops into his head ( no matter how tasteless or inappropriate ), and rushing through tasks without reading the figurative or literal instruction manual. murdoc’s lack of impulse control makes staying patient extremely difficult for him. for better or for worse - usually the latter - he tends to jump into risky situations that cause him more harm than good in the end. this poor self-control has led to addictive tendencies, as well as difficulty behaving in socially appropriate ways. said difficulties include:

being easily flustered and stressed out.

irritability or short, often explosive, temper.

low self-esteem and sense of insecurity or underachievement.

trouble staying motivated.

hypersensitivity to criticism.

talking excessively, usually about a million things at once.

trouble sitting still. constant fidgeting.

   there’s a million other things i Could say about murdoc as a character with ADHD and would Like to say but. i think this covered all of the bases. more later, yes.