#but he sure is a power-hungry man who looks out for no one but himself
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virtueofsanityx · 2 days ago
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reggie's so hard in his sweatpants that he's pretty sure he could shatter glass with his cock. it's instinct, the way his body rolls against dmitri's lap, seeking friction and moaning like a whore into his best friend's mouth as snatches of relief from that pressure shoot stars behind his eyelids, over and over like a meteor shower dancing in his head. he's pretty sure, if he were one to make idle guesses, that he could come basically untouched in these sweats if he keeps this up. if dmitri keeps this up.
the kiss is incredible. it's hungry and primal. the romantic in reggie is all but silenced as some kind of animal takes over in his mind, teeth and tongue and lips working together and against one another all at the same time. he isn't afraid to fight for dominance with the other man, not in this kiss, simply because he knows, somewhere deep down, that he'll relent control eventually and give himself over to dmitri's wiles and whims. he's never been an exceedingly dominant man in bed. he's fucked and he's been fucked, and he didn't mind either, but some sick primal part of him loves the feeling of being taken over, and he's been friends with the other man long enough to know that he's in for just that if he lets himself submit to it.
there's a soft hiss that slips through his teeth when he feels the sting of the bite the other man delivers, and while he had expected, at least on some level, that he wouldn't be walking away from this unmarked, he hadn't quite expected it, and jerks back from the sensation only for a moment, just in time for dmitri to shudder out an apology that he's already accepted. some part of him has gone completely soft in the center, warm lava pooling in his veins, his chest, his stomach, and leaking from his aching cock, but he's trying to tamper down some of the more powerful feelings that are trying to bubble to the surface.
it isn't the time. it may never be the time. this is a mistake he's letting himself make for one night. giving in to the pleasure that dmitri is promising him so that he can hold the memory forever, even if they never speak of it again.
he's letting himself be heartbroken so that he can have the experience.
warm golden brown eyes take a moment too long to open when the kiss is broken again, and just in time to see long stretches of taut muscle and gleaming skin, and his eyes drink it in with a newfound appreciation. oggling his best friend had never been on the table before, but in the dim glow of firelight, he feels like he has permission to drink in every curve, every muscle, every inch that he can. his mind conjures fantasies of making a trail down that built chest with his tongue, finding every divot and peak, enjoying the salt of sweat as he cleans it off for the other man.
but he doesn't have time to dwell on it as his hand is taken and pressed against that chest, feeling the pounding under his fingers. a pounding that matches time so perfectly with his own heart beating against his ribs. in sync almost perfectly, a hum in an otherwise silent moment, and his eyes close for a moment more to enjoy that syncronicity before dmitri's warm, melting voice is rolling over him and sending a shiver up his spine and another jolt straight down, making his cock twitch against his pants.
his eyes open again when his hand starts moving under the guidance of the other man, and he follows the trail with his eyes for a moment before he's looking up again. "you're the one who pointed out how hot you are earlier. you don't think i've been dreaming about letting you fuck me since we've met?" his voice is breathy, a rasp of need and desire, no longer living in his chest but somewhere in his head. eyelashes flutter like little wings, closing for only a second as his hand hits home and he feels dmitri's desire, for him.
some part of him wants to ask if it's truly for him. if it's because he wants reggie as badly as reggie wants him, but another part, a louder part, is too scared to ask, and instead his teeth close around his lip as he begins to slowly move his hand up the length under those boxers. the words falling from his best friends lips cause him to flush, cheeks pink and warm and he knows that he started this, but he wonders if he can truly finish it without imploding.
leaning forward, he lets his nose brush against dmitri's for a moment, soaking in a moment before blowing out a slow breath, hand still moving gently, teasingly against his length, and steels himself before he speaks again. "please let me have it, dee." his voice is a whisper, husky and dripping with desire, pleading at the edges. "let me choke on it, let me show you how well i can take it, let me make you feel good."
Dmitri couldn’t really remember the last time he’d ever been truly overwhelmed by anything. His childhood came to him in brutal flashes amidst a haze of blacked-out memories, as his mind had long ago shifted into survival mode, erasing much of the detail in favor of resilience. He remembers being smaller, skinnier, and scared. Back then, fear was a reasonable thing for a small vulnerable boy to have. But over time, the edges of those emotions dulled. Fighting for money and survival hardened him, numbed his natural responses to things that might leave others badly shaken. Even during his climb to champion status, facing opponents who pushed him to the edge, he’d never felt overwhelmed. Challenged, maybe. Tested, sure. But overwhelmed? No. Dmitri wasn’t easy to faze. Surprise, amazement, awe---- these emotions just didn’t take root in him. Life, and most people in it, struck him as… ordinary. Average.
And yet, here he was, barely able to breathe, his composure unraveling because Reggie was kissing him. Kissing the hell out of him. What the actual fuck?
The very moment Reggie's lips crashed against his, Dmitri let out a startled grunt at the electrifying contact. The kiss wasn’t soft or tender----- it was a clash, an almost violent exchange, and Dmitri found himself instinctively chasing its rhythm. Reggie set the initial pace, but Dmitri matched it with ease, his body responding as if it had been waiting for this moment all along. Their lips wrestled for dominance, tongues tangling in a heated duel, and when Dmitri felt the faintest scrape of Reggie’s teeth against his lower lip, a spark of wild excitement shot through him. Without thinking, he retaliated, biting down hard on Reggie’s bottom lip. Too hard. He didn’t comprehend his actions right away; his heartbeat thundered in his ears, drowning out all reason, while the dizzying swirl of stars behind his closed eyes left him in a stupor.
But then, a metallic tang spread across his tongue, grounding him just enough to realize he’d gone too far. "I’m sor---- I’m sorry," Dmitri panted, the words tumbling out in a rush. But the ache of separation was unbearable. The apology barely left his lips before he surged forward, capturing Reggie’s mouth again. This time, his tongue moved with purpose, tracing the wounded curve of Reggie’s reddened lip before sucking on it gently, as though trying to draw out the sting. Reggie’s muffled moan vibrated against his mouth, a needy sound that shot straight through Dmitri, pooling heat low in his abdomen.
"Ah, fuck," Dmitri hissed as Reggie’s hands slid beneath his shirt, palms exploring the taut planes of his torso. Fingers traced the grooves of hardened muscle, skimming over washboard abs that tensed reflexively under the touch. Those hands didn’t stop, venturing lower, to the edge of his boxers, teasingly brushing against the sensitive skin just above them. Pleasure coiled tighter in Dmitri’s core, the teasing almost making him thoroughly fucking insane.
Whatever Reggie murmured next, Dmitri couldn’t catch----- not right away. His mind was a haze of heat and want. With a swift motion, he leaned back and yanked his shirt over his head, flinging it aside. Now stripped to just his boxers, stretched taut over the growing bulge beneath, and the golden chain resting around his neck, Dmitri was raw, exposed, and ready for more. Reggie seemed to be thinking much of the same, refusing to let Dmitri's breathing steady as those irresistible lips were back on him, hungry and demanding. Dmitri responded instinctively, his large hands weaving into Reggie’s soft curls, the contrast of textures, coarse fingers against silk, sending a shiver up his spine. His skin gleamed in the firelight, sweat tracing the lines of his forearms as he dragged his touch down Reggie’s nape, savoring the warmth radiating beneath his fingertips.
One hand moved to cradle the curve of Reggie’s neck, thumb pressing firmly against the hammering pulse there, anchoring him in place as their mouths collided again and again in a rhythm as primal as the flames that flickered around them. The kiss was heavy, almost feral, each motion drawing Dmitri deeper into a haze of heat and sensation. Then, through the thick fog of heat and yearning, the soft words Reggie had moaned earlier finally broke through Dmitri’s dazed consciousness. The memory lingered, teasing at the edges of his mind, until it pulled him just enough from their savage rhythm. With a final, lingering kiss, Dmitri eased back, his lips curling into a slow, knowing smirk that radiated satisfaction. A deep, throaty chuckle rumbled from within him, the kind of sound that could make the air itself shiver. His dark eyes smoldered as they fixed on Reggie, promising this was only the beginning.
"Never knew you could kiss like that," Dmitri murmured, that sexy ass rasp of his thick with genuine praise. He dragged his tongue slowly across his lips, savoring the lingering taste of Reggie, because damn---- that had been something else. Something visceral and crackling, the kind of intensity that left a man reeling. Dmitri wasn’t even close to done with him, not by a long shot. But as much as he wanted to scoop Reggie up, carry him to the upstairs master bedroom, and take them both on a roller coaster of reckless, unbridled pleasure, there was something he needed to clear up first.
Reggie’s words from earlier echoed in Dmitri’s mind, needy and almost submissive, as if offering himself up entirely. It wasn’t that Dmitri didn’t like the sound of it----- hell, he loved the idea of having free rein with that sexy little body. He’d fantasized about it for longer than he’d ever admit, longer than he probably should have about someone he called a friend. But something about the way Reggie phrased it bothered him. Was that all there was? Just an offer to be used? Sure, it made sense that Reggie might get off on that dynamic, and Dmitri was more than willing to indulge him----- but this moment, this night, wasn’t about just that. Dmitri had waited too damn long for this. He wasn’t about to settle for scratching the surface. No, Dmitri needed to know more. He wanted to learn what made Reggie tick; the hidden pleasures, the unspoken desires, the fantasies he kept locked away. The idea of not knowing, of letting this night pass without truly understanding Reggie, was unthinkable. Dmitri was greedy, and he owned it. They had one night, and if that was all they had, he was going to make it count. Reggie was going to give him everything----- mind, body, and soul.
Dmitri’s large hand wrapped firmly around Reggie’s wrist, his grip warm and commanding as he guided it to press flat against his chest. He placed Reggie’s palm right over his heart, letting him feel the wild, erratic pounding beneath his sweat-slicked skin. His pecs flexed under the touch, the firm muscle taut and alive beneath Reggie’s fingers. Dmitri’s breaths came hard and heavy, chest rising and falling as though he’d just run miles. For a moment, his gaze flickered, distant, like he was struggling to reign himself back in, the heat between them threatening to pull him under.
It hit him then----- just how intimate this was. Letting Reggie feel his heart, as if inviting him to reach inside, rip it out, and keep it for himself. Hell, Dmitri would give it to him willingly. He didn’t need the damn thing anymore, never did. But the thought was fleeting because soon, Dmitri’s hand began to move, dragging Reggie’s touch down his body in a slow, deliberate glide. The path traced every ridge of his chiseled torso, his sculpted abs hard and smooth under Reggie’s fingertips, like they’d been carved by a master’s hand. His deep brown skin glowed faintly in the dim light, veins rising along his arms as he tensed with anticipation.
His voice came low, deep, and dripping with restrained hunger, vibrating through the space between them like a physical force. "Don’t think it’s fair you haven’t told me what you want," he murmured, his words a sultry challenge. "How you like to get fucked. How long you’ve been dreaming about this good cock inside you."
His intense gaze locked onto Reggie’s face, holding him captive under its weight. There was no escape, no chance to falter or shy away, not as Dmitri’s strong hand guided Reggie’s palm lower. Lower, until it rested against the thick, throbbing length straining against his boxers. His cock was impossibly hard, the swollen head leaking and smearing sticky warmth into the fabric. Dmitri hissed softly at the contact, the sensation almost unbearable, but he didn’t rush. No, he was going to savor this moment. He wanted to watch every flicker of Reggie’s desperation, wanted to see him unravel piece by piece.
With a firm squeeze, Dmitri pressed Reggie’s hand harder against his aching cock, the friction sending a jolt of pleasure through his entire body. His voice dropped even deeper, charged with the force of his desire. "This what you want, baby? It’s okay. You can say it. Beg for it.” He paused, his lips curling into a darkly enticing smirk. "No one else has to know. It’s just between us."
Dmitri wanted more than just sex----- he wanted to consume Reggie. To see the kind of perfect pretty slut his best friend could turn into, to fuck like how only best friends could.
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the-blazing-light · 1 year ago
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🖊 ALSO SOME RAZORSONG RAMBLING and i'll remember to go anon this time (@commanderhorncleaver)
SO RAZORSONG, my beloved shady bastard
Razorsong is a Preceptor in Order of Whispers, the highest ranking members besides the enigmatic Master of Whispers, and as such he holds a large amount of power and control within the Order, and most younger members of the Order don't even know the time Razorsong wasn't a Preceptor, the old charr has been holding the position for a very long time. No one even within the Order knows his real name either, like he just appeared out of nowhere one day, any records of who he was before the Order erased and gone.
Razorsong used his position to entertain his interest in occult and dangerous magic, gathering rare ancient artifacts into his personal collection, some for genuine research, some for his own amusement, eventually gaining a particular interests in the Mists and all the magic, anomalies and creatures tied to them.
That lead Razorsong to eventually, with the help of an ancient spell found in one of his treasured grimoires, find and bind a Mists Demon to his will and harness its power, essentially leashing the creature to Razorsong, a dangerous affair, but one he succeeded in, allowing him to pass through the Mists and unleash the demonic powers on his own whim.
Additionally he has a tendency to pick up promising Whispers agents under his wing for mentorship and work, he was actually the one to take Arren into Whispers after his fiasco in the Ash Legion and save his life that way as he saw potential in him, and right now his protege, and chained attack dog as some might say, is Axel Mindcrusher, an incredibly powerful chronomancer whose abilities Razorsong got interested in, helping him train and get better and give him special priviledges within the Order for exchange of him working in Razorsong's interests.
Now, to lift up some mystery around him, before Whispers Razorsong was an Ash Legion soldier named Decimus Lightstrike. Born sickly and weak, it was doubted he'd even be able to go through the Fahrar, something Decimus managed to do with sheer stubbornness, and with the decision to lean into magical training to compensate for his lack of physical strength, something he turned out to have a talent in, gaining quite an ambition that eventually led him to work with some Flame Legion shamans, feeding them Ash intel in exchange for their magical knowledge and an opportunity to eventually join in Flame, where they said he'd be able to become a high-ranking Shaman with his abilities. That didn't come to pass though, as he was uncovered and was going to face the tribunal. That wouldn't come either, as panicing Decimus would end up killing his warband and running, all except one survivor, his former partner and legionnaire, Asriel Lightwill.
He ended up going back to the Flame Shaman that he was working with, who never actually planned to let him join, just using the charr's ambitions for his own gain. That obviously enraged Lightstrike, showing the Shaman just how much he has learned from him, a show of force the Shaman wouldn't survive.
After that, he ended up on the run for a while, skulking around Kryta in hiding before eventually running into some Whispers Agents and doing a couple of odd jobs for them, impressing them with his magical power and knowledge, resulting in him joining in with the Order, taking on a new name and eventually, through favors, manipulations and covert operations wiping all records of who he was beforehand, rising to power as the enigmatic preceptor, Razorsong. The only person who remembers him from before is his surviving bandmate, Asriel, who remained an Ash free agent after becoming a gladium and getting injured in that incident, but he's far away from Razorsong now.
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tibby-art · 8 months ago
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hitman au save me .. its been seven years ..
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haven’t been able to draw/write much of this au lately but i want to write a few little scene snippets i have stored my brain :’D ill include them under cut
=+=
“This better be something good,” Scar muttered to Cub as they stepped out of the elevator. The hitman, while bound to his contract, considered ‘boring’ missions to be a waste of his time.
“I hope so,” Cub hummed. “Hope so.”
The ConVex swung open the doors to the NHO conference room, not bothering to check if their bosses were actually ready for their meeting.
“Holy mother of—! Knock next time, will you?” A man setting files down on the conference table jumped visibly as the doors slammed open.
“The Vex require a dramatic entrance, Beef,” Scar said casually. Cub snickered.
“Sure, whatever.” Beef furrowed his brow, used to this behavior. He didn’t have time for this. “Okay. Doc was supposed to do this briefing, but he’s busy with his machines I guess, because of course he is, so.” He huffed, composing himself. “Your new top-secret project. This one’s a doozy. Have a look.”
Beef slid the folder across the table. The hitmen flipped it open, absorbing its contents with hungry eyes.
What caught their eyes immediately were the photos. The person of interest looked nothing like a powerful crime boss or a dangerous anomaly. A young adult with glasses, dark eyes and short, sandy brown hair stared back at them.
“Who’s this?” Scar raised an eyebrow. Is the NHO asking them to assassinate some normal-looking university student?
“That is Grian,” Beef explained, both hands planted firmly on the table. “Grian has been with us at the NHO for months.”
“I’ve never seen him before,” Scar remarked.
“Grian’s case is top-secret. He’s been staying in high-security, private quarters… as well as our research laboratories.”
“I thought you guys seemed super suspicious lately! I knew they were hiding something from us, Cub,” Scar nudged his partner with a grin. Cub did not budge as his sharp eyes combed through the documents. He hadn’t heard a single word spoken to him.
“Cub? What’s the deal?” Scar asked. He preferred to let Cub read their mission files and summarize it for him, anyways. Dyslexia and top-secret government files were not a great mix. Oh, what would he do without Cub?
“Watchers?” Cub finally spoke, looking up at Beef with a quizzical frown. The other man nodded slowly. “You’re kidding.”
“After months of testing and analysis, we can confirm that this individual is the only currently documented case of a mortal possessing Watcher abilities,” Beef nodded slowly.
Scar had heard whispers of the Watchers only a handful of times. As a vex, he knew plenty about the realm of magic, the divine, the fae, you name it! But Watchers were said to be ancient entities, perhaps as old as time itself. So old that they were widely considered to be a myth.
“So this is not a hit,” Scar said after a moment.
“This is not a hit, Scar, good lord, do not kill this person,” Beef put both hands on his forehead and let them slowly drag down his face.
“Mortal, you say?” Cub raised an eyebrow.
“Yep,” Beef said. “She was a completely normal citizen until he got these abilities in some freak accident. Lucky for everyone involved, the NHO was able to take control of the situation before anything… dangerous happened.”
“So,” Scar narrowed his eyes slightly, “If this isn’t a hit, then what do you want from us?”
Beef sighed. “After months of testing to determine Grian’s situation, the NHO has decided that he is too important to return to life as a normal citizen at this time. Instead, we’d like to utilize his abilities in our goals to maintain order in Hermit City, and we need someone to train her how to be a special agent in the field.”
“You want the ConVex to train a Watcher how to be a hitman,” Cub said with a slight smirk at just how insane that sounded.
“Yep.”
“Huh.” Scar put both hands on his hips. “Well, that’s not what I was expecting.”
“I suppose we could give it a shot,” Cub said. Although the ConVex were bound by a fae contract to work for the NHO, the vex took every opportunity to feign control over their situation. There was no choice here. Beef had given them an order.
“Sure, sure! We are very good at our jobs, after all,” Scar grinned. Whatever happened, good or bad, would at least be entertaining, surely.
“You’ll come back here to meet her tomorrow morning,” Beef instructed. “Hand me that file back and be here by 9, will you?”
“Sure thing,” Cub replied coolly, sliding the file back to the man. Scar couldn’t help but grin wider when he noticed Cub’s hand casually in his pants pocket, some folded white paper barely visible in his grip.
“Don’t be late. I’m serious this time,” Beef called out as the hitmen turned and exited the conference room.
=+=
The conference room was tense that morning. Towards the end of the table sat the NHO - Beef, Doc, Etho, and Bdubs. On one side sat Cub and Scar. Across from them, Grian sat alone.
“So, how about introductions?” Doc clapped his hands together. “Er… Cub and Scar, this is Grian. Grian, this is Cub and Scar. You guys already know the deal. Grian is going to come with you on missions from now on.”
The ConVex hadn’t taken their eyes off of Grian since they entered the room, unable to resist their curiosity. They had both read the files, but still found it hard to believe the person before them was a Watcher. Grian sat rigid in his chair, fiddling with his hands, looking tense and exhausted. She eyed the vex curiously as well.
“Well hello there,” Scar greeted. “I’m Scar, and this is Cub.”
“Hey, hey,” Cub said quietly.
“Hello,” The corner of Grian’s mouth twitched in a possible attempt at a smile.
The three continued to stare at each other until Bdubs cleared his throat.
“Wonderful introduction. Now that we’ve broken the ice, let’s talk about your next mission.” The man picked up a small remote, and the large screen on the wall behind them illuminated.
“Before we send our agents out into the field, we meet like this to discuss the details and ensure that the mission is clearly understood,” Doc explained to Grian, throwing a disapproving glare in the ConVex’s direction.
A lengthy file on some high-profile criminal appeared on the screen, as Bdubs proceeded to read off the information. Scar slumped back in his chair. These mission briefings were the worst. It was time to zone out and have Cub tell him the details later with all the fluff cut out.
At about ten minutes in, Scar yawned absentmindedly.
“Oh, are we boring you, sir?” Doc interrupted Bdubs to shoot a piercing stare at Scar.
“Oh, not at all!” Scar said cheerfully, but slumping in his chair slightly lower.
“As I was saying,” Bdubs continued loudly.
Scar glanced over at Grian. Her eyes quickly darted back to the presentation when they made eye contact. Scar looked over at Cub and found he had still not taken his eyes off of Grian. Hopefully Cub was at least somewhat paying attention, because he sure wasn’t.
Grian continued to fidget with his hands. Scar felt a pang of pity for him. The vex were used to this sort of environment, but according to the NHO, Grian had a completely normal life up until a few months ago. Now suddenly, he gains these terrifying powers and spends months in a top-secret lab having tests run on her all day. Who wouldn’t be overwhelmed?
Scar yawned again, this time more intentionally. He earned another death glare from Doc, but Bdubs droned on. He glanced over and saw Grian rubbing a hand on his cheek to help hide a grin.
The art of annoying your boss was a delicate one. Timing is everything. Let enough time pass until they’ve forgotten, or they think you’ve stopped, to continue the game. Scar lets about ten minutes pass before his next yawn, bigger this time.
“Quit it,” Beef hissed. Even Etho glanced over. Doc kept his eyes on the screen, but his jaw was clenched. Grian let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.
Five minutes later, Cub clears his throat rather loudly. Bdubs stutters over his words for a second, but because Cub is Cub, none of the NHO seems to be able to tell if that was a deliberate cough or not, and they decide to ignore it. Cub shows no emotion.
After an hour that felt like an eternity of Bdubs explaining every possible detail about the case, it seemed to be almost concluded. That was, until a rather loud yawn was heard throughout the conference room.
“WILL YOU LET ME FINISH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE?!” Bdubs finally erupted, whipping around in his chair to face Cub and Scar.
The hitmen stared back blankly. They glanced over across the table, and Bdubs followed their gaze, where Grian sat with both arms over her head in a large stretch.
“Sorry,” Grian said simply when all eyes were on him, lowering his arms. “Just had to stretch a bit.” He stared back at Bdubs innocently.
The NHO stood there, confused. Bdubs was at a loss for words, unable to get a read on the new recruit. He sighed and turned back to the screen. “Well, regardless, I think we’ve about summed things up,” he grumbled.
Scar made eye contact with Grian once again. The two cracked a smile at one another for a second, too quick for the NHO to notice.
Scar had a feeling that him, Cub and Grian were going to get along just fine.
=+=
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foolisheval · 1 month ago
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DRABBLE - men who overstimulate
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MDNI! sexual content ahead!
✻ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. men who like to overstimulate— whether that be by accident or intentional (Scaramouche, Xiao, Tartaglia)
✻ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. overstimulation, bratty! afab! Reader, creampie, praising, implied unbalanced power dynamics (Scaramouche), choking (Scaramouche), degradation (Scaramouche) Switch! Xiao and Fatui! Scaramouche (he drives me crazy)
didnt proofread and slightly slacked off with Ajax’s part. Mb gang
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BALLADEER
The Balladeer? He's reckless when he's fucking you. He's all raw energy and unbridled passion, like a storm of thunder you can't control but can only surrender to. When the Balladeer's hands are on you, it's electric. Every touch sends shockwaves through you (quite literally) and every kiss feels hungry. As if he's trying to devour you whole.
Scaramouche will fuck you for hours if you ever dare to mouth off so don’t even think he’ll look past disorderly behavior. You’re his cute little subordinate after all. If his hands aren't firmly gripping your waist, then one of them is surely between your legs, his fingers working their magic with the kind of precision that only he seems to possess. Two fingers press into you, curling upward with perfect intent when they find that sensitive, gummy spot inside of you— the one that makes your knees tremble and threatens to steal the strength from your legs. Scaramouche’s other hand is no less active, the broad expanse of his palm pressing teasingly against your lower stomach. It's not just to make you feel more; it's to ensure you're at his mercy, unable to shift or chase after the rhythm he sets. He gives you only what he decides you’re allowed to have. And today, despite his day being ruined by your relentless teasing, he’s feeling unusually generous… perhaps even a bit too generous with the way he’s been overstimulating you.
You've always loved Scaramouche’s hands. You love the way they feel, the way they claim every part of you they touch, and especially the way his palm grinds against your clit when he slips a third finger inside. It's a delicious stretch, one that pulls wanton moans from your lips before you can even think to stifle them. It’s all too much. All too fast and too rough! But, god, you can’t get enough.
When frustration has been building up in him for far too long— he lets it show in the roughness of his words and touch.
That's when you feel his hand slide up to your neck, wrapping around your throat with a firm yet deliberate grip. “Fucking slut, huh? Yeah? You asked for this.”
XIAO
Xiao, who finally has enough of your teasing, your denial of the orgasm he was chasing and your constant mouthing off. He is so frustrated and annoyed that he flips the both of you over just so he can fuck you at the pace he's been aching for this entire night.
It takes you by surprise because the change is so sharp, as if a flip has switched. One second you're lazily riding the man, holding him down and bathing in his moans and whines for more. Denying him as often as your heart desires because you thought he'd let you.
And now you're beneath him, desperately gripping the sheets to try and find purchase as he fucks so hard and so fast that you're about to pass out. You've never been so full of him and still so hungry for more at the same time now that he's hitting spots inside of you that you didn't know existed in the first place.
Xiao holds you by your lifted hips, fucking himself into you like it would make up for the amounts of ruined orgasms you've brought him. And he does it so easily, handling you around like a doll made for his desires. "You’re impossible to handle,” He groans, the drag and pull of his fat cock rendering you speechless.
He knows you deserve the meanest of treatments. It would be just fair to almost drive you over the edge just to ruin every ounce of release once you're actually about to finish. Maybe he should've fucked your throat instead so he wouldn't have to deal with your attitude. Even now, all you do is complain and whine between broken moans and gasps for more. But, god, you feel too good, too warm and way too tight. The face you're making is motivation enough to keep on fucking you even after you've come.
Xiao rubs your clit, gifts you another orgasm, but he never slows his pace. And although Xiao fucks like he owns you, even he is moaning like a bitch when he empties his balls into you.
TARTAGLIA
There's nothing Ajax likes better than seeing your stupid colorful socks dangling over his shoulders as he fucks his fat cock into your gushing pussy. Your nails dig into his biceps, whining for him, telling him that it's too much but not pushing him away as he pounds you harder.
"A-Ajax!" Your eyes roll back whenever he hits that special spot inside of you, but Ajax isn't stopping until he's sure your pussy is filled to the brim. You're so close to drooling all over your chin, moaning his name over and over just to spur him on a little.
Ajax isn't exactly known to be a patient man, but he'll make an exception for you. Fucking you senseless is an art he's more than willing to practice over and over again until he's mastered it. It doesn't matter whether his balls are coated in your slick, or you babble incoherent sentences about how big he is, about how full you feel.
He knows he did a great job fucking you when he finally empties his balls into you and you gush around him like you've never before.
"you look-- s-shit! look so pretty like this. Pussy feels so fuckin' good, so fuckin' wet. Am I making you feel good, baby? C’mon, talk to me."
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tiredfox64 · 6 months ago
Note
hallo Hallo! I would like to make an request of female reader and Syzoth c:
So,I’ve seen and read many fanfic where the reader is clueless thus doesn’t understand the nature of the Zatteran. Which pisses me off. Let’s change that,Shall we? :3
An female who has bearded dragon pet thus *completely* understands the Zatteran’s nature. In what he eats,how he behaves,the shedding,mating season and such. Syzoth’s greatful for finding someone who gets him and they’re one perfect power couple >:D 💪🏻 I would like mostly be fluff. But if you wanna slip in some smut of mating season,Go ahead. ;3
Small reminder; you’re amazing and don’t forget to drink water to stay hydrated! <3
How to Care for a Zatteran
Yip notes: No YOU’RE AMAZING. You are speaking my language. I’d be happy to give my man what he needs.
Pairing: Syzoth x Afab reader
Warnings‼️: NSFW, biting, you get two for the price of one ayyyyyyy (what do you think I mean?)
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Syzoth believed being in Earthrealm would be difficult for him. It is not a realm that has large lizards walking around. According to Johnny and Kenshi, if people did see a large lizard walking around there would be an uproar of conspiracy theories. The government might hunt him down thinking he was an alien that escaped Area 51.
No wonder Syzoth wasn’t too keen on getting to know other humans…except for you. You are like the sun to him. You are needed in his life. If you are not with him then what is left in his life? You get him on so many levels.
You have a great understanding of reptile behavior. You grew up with a love for all kinds of reptiles from colorful geckos to strong snakes and even tortoises that had to wear balloons to allow you to keep an eye on them. You sure know your stuff. You knew what was best for them when it came to environment and diet. That means you knew what was best for Syzoth.
If Johnny didn’t ask you to bring him crickets for Syzoth when he invited him to his mansion you wouldn’t have met your reptilian boyfriend. Because Syzoth couldn’t stand human food the only other option that Johnny could think of was bugs. He knew you had an abundance of bugs to feed your pet bearded dragon, Blondi. And boy was Syzoth happy to see you come towards him with a handful of dead crickets. His tail came out and curled up as his split tongue scooped up the crickets. You were amazed by his tail, not a hint of fear in your voice as you squealed about how cool it was. He was so excited by your enthusiasm that he presented his true form. The rest was history.
You adored him in both forms. He was a handsome human and a cute-faced giant lizard. He was glad to find someone who didn’t see him as a monster or even a freak for who he truly was. Though your bearded dragon was not a big fan of him. The first time Syzoth walked into your home, Blondi was tapping on the glass trying to pick a fight with him. He was bobbing his head like a rockstar, trying to tell your boyfriend that this was his territory. He didn’t back down when Syzoth went into his natural form. Your little guy was ready to put up a fight for you. Or he was ready to fight for his food. He can sense Syzoth is just as hungry as he is.
You did have delicious bugs in your home at all times. Crickets, mealworms, grasshoppers, hornworms, and more. You made him feel better about eating bugs in front of you once you told him that humans also eat bugs. He didn’t believe you at first since everyone he has come across has given him weird looks but you reassured him that it was true. Many cultures eat bugs and there are even some candies that have bugs inside of them. You brought out a bag of chapulines that were coated in lemon juice, chili, and garlic. He watched as you took some from the bag and popped them into your mouth. He got curious and wanted to try some for himself. It was fine for him to try since he isn’t a regular bearded dragon and he has a stomach full of corrosive acid. The chili would not end his existence.
He loved the chapulines so much that you started putting them in the salads you would make him. Syzoth wasn’t used to eating greens that often but seeing how Blondi ate it up he thought it would be good for him. After taking his first bite of that fresh mixture of cabbage, kale, zucchini, and bell peppers he was eating it up quickly. He startled Blondi who was trying to eat his mixture of bugs and vegetables on the same table. Geez and you thought Blondi was a messy eater. Syzoth was messier but at least he licked up his mess.
“Are you sure you don’t want to use a fork?” You asked as you scooted a fork closer to him.
His head popped up from the bowl with his tongue still wrapped around a bunch of cabbage and kale. His eyes looked between the fork and the bowl. His hand slowly crept towards the fork and swiped it off the table before diving his head back into the bowl. The loud sound of crunching continued until he was finished.
The love went beyond a good diet. You made shedding season easier on him.
Shedding in his natural form is never pleasant. It’s unpleasant for every reptile. So you did your best to ease his discomfort and complete the process faster. You went out and bought a kiddie pool that was just big enough to fit his giant lizard self. You bought a bunch of bottles of shedding aid to hydrate his skin and get the old skin off. A nice spray of mist from your garden hose and he was in heaven. The old skin didn’t feel so tight on him anymore. Syzoth was grateful for everything you did for him. You must have spent a lot on the shedding aid to ensure it would work on him.
It was all worth it once you saw how he relaxed. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly opened, showing off his sharp teeth. He was able to rid himself of old skin before deciding to eat it. What? He doesn’t want to leave a mess for you to clean up.
The only issue Syzoth has is with Blondi. He tried being nice and showing that he meant no harm. He waved so many times yet Blondi kept bobbing his head and tapping against his glass enclosure. He did not like sharing you with Syzoth. It would result in Blondi running towards Syzoth to give him a good fight. You would have to swoop him up and go into another room so you could peacefully handle your little guy.
Once you were done with one lizard you had to go to the other. Syzoth needed handling too even though he was larger than you. He liked resting his body against yours, using your chest as a pillow for him. Sometimes he would be in his human form and others he would be in his natural form. You preferred the human form just because it didn’t feel like he was crushing you. You took it like a champ in the end. You would run your hand from his neck and down his back. He wouldn’t let you go even when you begged him to.
Now that’s all fun and stuff, having basically another pet lizard who is also a person who you could talk to. Syzoth is loyal to you and adores you. The fact that you understood what he needed as a Zatteran brought him closer to you. You’re the only one who understands him. You understood him better than his own people did.
Tell me, lizard girl, what do you think happens when a man gets really invested in a woman? That’s right! He wants to mate!
You saw this coming from a mile away you can’t lie. It didn’t matter if his habits were more human or lizard he was still getting riled up by you. What man wouldn’t want a kind and caring woman who feeds him well and shows him unconditional love? It was only natural that Syzoth wanted to show you his love. He wanted to give you his children and protect you till his very last breath. But he understands that humans don’t work the same way. Your “mating rituals” are more complex while his could be seen as too animalistic even for you.
Is that gonna stop his natural instincts from kicking in? Fuck no. Nature is an unstoppable force and when it’s go time, it’s freaking go time.
You noticed the change in Syzoth. He was putting in a lot of effort to let you know he was attracted to you even though you knew that beforehand. The pheromones he produced in his natural form would not work on you so you had to go off of visual clues. While in his human form, he bobbed his head a lot and stomped the ground, causing things to shake. It caught your attention and you would stare at him while wondering if that was necessary. His green eyes would stare at you, waiting to see if you would run away or move into a certain position.
“It’s mating season already? Gosh, I should check on Blondi.” You teased Syzoth, acting like you wouldn’t help him before you got up from the couch.
Because you walked away, he took that as you playing hard to get. He gave chase. You were barely down the hallway before you felt his arm wrap around your waist. He put all his weight against your body, causing you to go down. He wasn’t forcing you down on the ground but he was aware that he was using his size to his advantage. You didn’t think he could hold this primal aggression inside of him.
Your chest was pressed against the floor as you felt him grind against you. He whined before saying,
“Now…now…I want you now.”
Syzoth sounded so desperate you wondered if it’s been a long time since he last mated with a woman. That might be why he was more aggressive than you imagined.
“Alright…we can do it now. Do you want to go-“
You were going to ask if he wanted to move this to your bedroom but he was already tearing off your clothes. He didn’t need all of them off he just needed yours and his pants off. He was back to pressing his body against you and you could feel his cock…cocks? Well, guess that answers that question you’ve had in the back of your mind.
One of his cocks pressed against your wet folds while the other rubbed against your clit. Your anatomies aren’t correct but he will make this work. He began pushing his cock inside of you, stretching you out with its thick size. You let out a gasp as your nails clawed at the hardwood floors. Syzoth saw your reaction and thought you might pull away. He decided to pull your shirt to the side and bite down on your shoulder to prevent you from running away. You let out a pained moan as you felt his teeth sink into your flesh. It wasn’t enough to break your skin but it would keep you in place.
His rhythm was constant yet primal. He never took a moment to cool down or take a breather. He kept going in and out as his other cock rubbed your clit. Precum dripped from the tip which landed on the floor. His saliva dripped down your shoulder as his hot breath heated your skin. He let out grunts and groans as he continued fucking you. You were so glad you didn’t have neighbors nearby because you could not handle the noise you were producing.
You knew Syzoth was no regular man but he still managed to blow your mind…and your back out. You didn���t realize that you were drooling and continuously scratching the floor. Your brain was mush from how good Syzoth was making you feel. You could never receive this love from any ordinary man. The only one who could make you a drooling mess and get your full permission to breed you is Syzoth.
His breath grew hotter and quicker. His thrusts grew sloppier. You knew he was close and so were you. You decided to give him a helping hand, literally, and used one of your hands to stroke his other cock. You felt him twitch and groan more before he started going rougher. He was fucking into you while also fucking your hand. He made you cum with him when his last thrust hit your g-spot and you both came. This hot wave ripped through you as your shoulder burned with pain. Syzoth tightened his hold on your waist to keep you in place as he came inside of you. It sure was a lot of cum based on the fact that your hand was covered in it. It still managed to make a mess of the floor.
You both were panting and sweating like you just finished a fight. Syzoth finally let go of your shoulder and licked the teeth marks to soothe your pain.
“You just couldn’t wait, could you?” You teased him.
“You knew what would happen once you walked away. You know me so well, I would think you would be smart enough to not play hard to get.” He teased back.
“I was messing with you, but it seems like that charade didn't last long.”
You both laughed before you tried to get up. Syzoth didn’t allow that. He kept all his weight on you while his arms were still wrapped around your waist. He didn’t pull out.
“Uh…I thought you were supposed to let me go right after we finished.”
“My love, I am more than just an animal. I still need attention. We will stay in this position for a long time.” He snuggled up to you with a satisfied smile on his face.
“Could we at least move this cuddle session to my bedroom?”
“No! Blondi shouldn’t know about this.”
Syzoth, what the fuck is the little lizard gonna do? The lizard doesn’t even understand the concept of dating.
Yap notes: I'm losing motivation again. I'm puffin.
457 notes · View notes
sorryimananti-romantic · 7 months ago
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New World
crownprince!hongjoong x royalphysician!reader
psychopath power hungry prince hj x psychopath delulu spy doctor reader who kill (literally) for each other
dni if you're not comfortable with this trope.
word count: 27k
genres and warnings: unhinged fluff only, angst, smut (mdni!) they're both pyschopaths, morally black atp, skewed thinking, violence and murder warnings, manipulation at its finest, reader is a bit delulu but so is joong, kinda tragic
synopsis: you've always known the crown prince was just a little power hungry, however, when you offer to kill the king for him as part of your big scheme to end the monarchy, you didn't realise he'd be ecstatic about it. while you etch out an elaborate plan to get more obstacles out of the way, you start enjoying his company just a little too much. it ultimately clouds your judgement and becomes the cause of your downfall, though... if you go down, he goes down with you :D
manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (just two simps for dom hongjoong what's new)
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Red might just be your favourite colour.
Red was the colour of blood. Red was the colour of anger, desire and power. Red was the colour of the loveliest roses that decorated this castle, and red was the colour of Wonderland’s flag. Red was the colour of the badge that the soldiers wore at all times, as well as the colour of rubies that were your favourite stone and a staple of royal jewellery.
Red was also the colour of royal regalia. And oh, Prince Hongjoong absolutely owned that colour. It looked like red was made for him. Everything he did was red. His actions, his aura, his charms, they exuded red. The way he walked, the way he laughed or smirked, the way his expressions would change in a matter of milliseconds… everything was red. He breathed in that colour and made it his own. 
Red just so happened to be the colour that clear drug now turned into when you added a few drops of the new opium compound you had gotten your hands on when you went shopping in the black market. As the royal physician, you had the privilege of accessing the black market without repercussions, so you got a little of everything that would be considered ‘dangerous’ or ‘illegal’. Your sole duty as the royal physician was to make advances in medicine and make sure the royalty remained healthy.
Though… there wasn’t much left to worry about. The Queen had passed away when you were still an assistant a few years ago. The King, well, he was unfortunate enough to be suffering from a heart condition. You did everything in your power (though that could be argued) to keep his pain and suffering at bay but with each passing day, his health deteriorated even more.
And that left Prince Hongjoong- the young crown prince, loved by some but feared by all. With his striking platinum hair and a permanent glare, he was as cold as he appeared to be. The man only cared about swiftness and rationality in each decision he made, disregarding the suffering of his people and their woes. He claimed that a ruler had to be strict and authoritative for his kingdom to prosper, and his ideology had always conflicted with his father's, which was why the people of Wonderland dreaded the day when the King would pass away and the Crown Prince would take over.
You smiled to yourself as the solution became red, confirming that it worked. You had just mixed a few ingredients to make a new pain reliever. You only needed to test it out now-
And who better to test it on than the dying King? Sure, maybe it was too strong, in which case he would probably succumb to numbness and his breathing might stop. He had one foot in the grave anyway. But if it worked, he would probably grace you with more privileges. It was a win-win situation. 
You didn’t hate the King, no. In fact, he trusted you a lot- maybe a bit more than he should. He had recognised how brilliant a physician and researcher you were early in your career and had appointed you as the royal physician himself. He depended on you a lot, as you did on him, and his fatherly affection sometimes almost made you crack and forget what you really wanted.
What you really wanted was to see the crown prince become the king, even if it was just for a day. You wanted to be the person to make it happen for him. You wanted to be trusted by him and you wanted him to depend on you. You wanted to be the person that would lead him to the crown that was rightfully his. You wanted to fulfil his deepest desire- you wanted him to rule, even if only for a day.
Because then, you would take the final step and free the Kingdom of Wonderland from its last-standing tyrannical ruler.
But the King- the old man. He just wouldn’t die. And that was making the both of you frustrated.
As you poured the new drug in a vial, signing the register to record today’s progress, you put the vial in the first-aid box and took off your apron, hanging it on the knob next to the shelves that lined the walls of your workshop. You straightened your deep green velvet gown and made sure the pearls adorning your neck looked perfect. Tucking some stray hair behind your ears and smirking at your reflection, pleased with the way you looked tonight, you picked up the box and left the medical chamber, walking towards the residential section of the castle where the royalty resided. 
The King hated staying in the infirmary so you had fulfilled his wishes and created a setup in his bedroom. Your assistants looked after him throughout the day and you would drop by multiple times to check on him, hoping to get a sight of the painfully handsome prince. 
Sometimes, you caught the Prince lounging with a book or a smoke, or swirling the wine in his glass. It sparked red in you- red for desire. You weren’t sure if that desire inside you was for him or his position or power- or the desire to simply end him as planned by the Master and move to the next phase of your life- but oh, how you wished he would look at you with something other than contempt in his eyes. You knew he disliked you because you were prolonging his father’s life and preventing him from taking the crown.
You were. You were doing exactly that. You wouldn’t kill the King until he would really look at you. You couldn’t simply tell him that, so you would have to take a risk that could end up with your head in the lunette, ready for execution.
You greeted the royal guards before you knocked on the door of the main chamber and the Prince’s aide, Mingi, opened the door and let you in.
“Good evening, Doctor,” the tall man let you in with a smile and you bowed in greeting before you entered, glancing around the living room for any signs of the prince but finding none. Mingi shut the door behind you and with a nod, you went towards the king’s bedroom, knocking before entering. 
The old man was reading some reports, round glasses perched on the tip of his nose. Even though he looked pale and his eyes looked lifeless, he looked as posh as ever with his greying hair neatly combed back and face freshly shaven. Upon noticing you, he set the reports aside and greeted you with a smile.
“How do you do, Doctor?” He asked and you pulled the stool near him, settling down.
“Just the usual, but I have some good news for you,” you said and when his face lit up, you shook your head. “You must tell me how you’ve been feeling first.”
“Well… I think the pain wasn’t as bad today, but I still can’t seem to walk around too much. I lose my breath too quickly.”
“I might have something for that,” you said. Routinely, he extended his wrist and you checked his pulse, listened to his heart with a stethoscope and checked his eyes. After making sure his vitals were normal, you told him about the new drug.
“It is an opium compound, so I’m not sure how different it will be, but I hope it will get better rather than worse.”
“Can’t get any worse than this,” the King sighed and you almost tsk-ed.
“It can get worse, but I’m here to prevent that,” you assured and the King nodded. “There is a risk factor, though.”
“And like always, I’ll take it,” he agreed, sitting straighter. After administering his routine medicines and skipping the ones that could hinder this new drug’s effect, you made him drink a spoonful of the red liquid. His mouth contorted as the bitterness of the drug spread across his tongue and then he took a deep breath.
“I’ll have the nurses monitoring the effects of this drug tonight, but if anything feels strange, you can have the guards send a message to me.”
“Thank you,” the King said and you bowed, exiting his room and making a turn-
And almost bumping into none other than the Crown Prince.
The Crown Prince Hongjoong, looking regal even in his plain black silk nightwear. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and you bowed in greeting, stepping aside and about to leave when he cleared his throat, making you stop.
“How is the King’s condition?”
You smirked internally before turning to face him. “Not better… not worse either.”
Prince Hongjoong narrowed his eyes and you sighed. “It’s because the drugs won’t work. I’ve administered a new one tonight, and I have hopes.”
What kind of hopes, he didn’t need to know.
“You always say that, yet my father is still bedridden.”
You noted his use of the term ‘father’. He always employed that term carefully, and you weren’t sure if anyone else had noticed that. 
“Well, it’s a bit… risky this time,” you began, testing the waters and when he raised his brow in curiosity, you knew you had him. “He might get worse before he gets better. Or… he may never recover if it doesn’t suit him.”
“Yet you still administered that drug to the King?”
There. He was now ‘the King’.
“The King,” you began, emphasising the word, “took a leap of faith in me and the drug if that means he could get better one day.”
The Prince nodded in understanding, about to go to his room.
“However,” you said in a low voice, looking around to make sure no one was in sight. Hongjoong turned to hear the rest of it, his eyes scanning your face for any signs of concealment. 
You took a few steps forward- tonight, the wheels of your big plan would start to turn. You purposely stepped a little closer than he would have liked and whispered, “I’ll tell you- the King shouldn’t be taking such risks at his age, and with his condition.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Hongjoong asked in a whisper as if what you had shared was a secret.
You only shrugged, feigning innocence. “Who knows? If you really want answers though… maybe you could let me access the private library first.”
With that, you bowed and left, leaving the prince baffled. He opened the door of his father’s bedroom just a fraction and saw his brows furrowed in pain as he rested, the nurse paying no attention and instead more focused on knitting.
Hongjoong went to his room and found himself going over the conversation he had with you over and over again. He couldn’t help but recall previous instances of when you told him- and only him, he had noted- how his father could get worse or better depending on the situation.
Were you actually intending to tell him that you had his health, even his life, in your control? Had he been too oblivious of his royal physician’s actions and words? Had he underestimated you? He knew you were a good doctor- you were a renowned physician throughout the Capital. But were you offering him the controls?
The private library- he wondered what you intended to find there. Maybe he would give you a chance to prove yourself to him. Hongjoong smirked into the night sky, peering down at his kingdom from the height- perhaps, you were the weapon he needed to wield in order to get to the throne.
And if you were… 
Finally, the crown prince started to feel a new surge of hope and desire. Hope for the new world he wanted to create as soon as he could sit on the throne, and desire for that power.
Hongjoong saw red before his eyes as he shut them, letting the light breeze blow through his hair and caress his skin. He wasn’t sure if his grim laughter was echoing inside his head or being carried by the wind for the world to hear.
—------------------------------------
You were starting to wonder if your plan had not worked. 
The past week, you simply checked on the King and kept administering the same new drug that you now called ‘ruby’. It was a bit ironic to call it ruby, you thought. Ruby was Wonderland’s staple stone and what better name for a drug that would end the life of Wonderland's king? It was a shame no one could share the sentiment- when your assistants asked why you called the drug ruby, you simply answered that it was because of the colour.
Prince Hongjoong seemed like he was avoiding you on purpose. Maybe he was not interested in what you had to offer. You were pretty sure he got the message- the King was at your mercy and could be at the Crown Prince’s mercy if he wished so. However, he didn’t acknowledge your presence the few times you crossed paths with him within the week. A small part in your brain said that maybe you had made a mistake and he was being cautious. Maybe you should have never revealed all of that- maybe you had doomed yourself. If he suspected you of foul play, he could have you executed for treason. Maybe the Hongjoong did possess a functioning heart under all those layers of thorns. Yours had long been numb.
But maybe, just maybe, he was weighing his options. Could he trust you, the royal physician, a respectable doctor and medical researcher? Were you planning a trap for him- was it the King’s doing? Did the King suspect that his son really wanted him dead? Did one of his uncles, the Dukes, plant you here as a spy? They were interested in the throne- at least the older one of them, the Duke of Neverland Prince Woobin, was.
And why did you need to access the private library anyway? That was what kept nagging at Hongjoong’s mind. The private library was not attached to the main library but was located in the part of the castle that accommodated the royal residents. The only people allowed to access that library were those of royal blood. It mostly held archives related to court orders and the royal family history. Whatever could a doctor need in there?
With all these thoughts plaguing the prince’s mind, he found himself making way to the medical chamber after dinner accompanied by his aide, Mingi. Mingi asked if he was feeling alright but Hongjoong only said he wanted to ask you a few things regarding his father’s medication and that he was hoping to get something for his own insomnia. That relaxed his aide a bit- Mingi had been by Hongjoong’s side for a solid decade now and while they shared the same opinions on many things, Hongjoong still wasn’t sure if Mingi really agreed with his political views.
Hongjoong dreamt of big things. He was a dreamer and a doer, which he supposed was not an odd combination but a rare one- people usually had to give up one or the other. He, however, was not going to bow to this world- the world was going to bow to him. That was the world he aimed to create where he would be the ruler, where he would allow people to dream within his constraints. To him, there was no such thing as freedom. Freedom was simply a word to fool people into believing that they possessed the right and control over their life. Sure, Hongjoong was a slave to this word too. He dreamed to be free-
Free of the title of crown prince. Free of the title prince. He abhorred that word now- he wanted to be the king. He wanted the freedom to rule. And you- you had just offered him a shortcut, if he was right about this. 
Hongjoong was greeted by a few doctors at the workshop, the three of them moving around nervously and almost tripping on each other as they straightened and asked what brought the Prince all the way to the medical chambers- he could have sent a message. Hongjoong said he simply wanted to observe and check the progress of his doctors. One of them offered to take him to you, to his relief, and he followed the physician to the other end of the workshop which led to the room right next to the storage.
“That’s where the Head Physician usually works- she prefers a corner so she can experiment in peace- and it’s also to avoid involving others in any possible accidents,” the physician said, fiddling with his fingers as Hongjoong nodded. “I- I’ll alert her.”
Hongjoong watched with intrigue as the young physician carefully turned the knob so as to not make a single sound and slipped inside with light footsteps. Hongjoong peeked through the gap and realised you had your back against them. The physician waited for you to set all the equipment in your hands on the table before he cleared his throat and you turned to him.
“The Prince is here to uh, see you- your progress.”
“The Prince,” you breathed, your gaze going towards the door and you thought you spotted the familiar blonde hair. “Where is he?”
“Right outside.”
“Goodness, Jeongin, let him in then, don’t keep him waiting!” your eyes widened as you shooed the physician away and with the few seconds you had, you rubbed the stains on your hands and cleared the table in front of you. 
“Doctor,” his voice sounded, the door clicking behind him as Jeongin gave you both some space. 
“Your Highness,” you curtsied, your heart beating erratically and a bit too loudly- this was the first time you were in private with the Prince, after all. “What brings you here?”
“Just thought I’d check up on you,” the Prince narrowed his eyes as he walked past the counter with various vials of drugs and medicine arranged on them. He stopped near the ruby red liquid that he now recognised as his father’s recent prescription. “Any progress regarding the King’s health?”
“Surprisingly, he’s getting adjusted to the low doses quite well,” you said, noting the tiniest twitch of his facial muscles. “I will start increasing the dose in two days and see how he responds.”
“You mentioned a risk last time,” he raised his brow slightly as he locked eyes with you, seating himself on the very stool you had been sitting on just earlier. The proximity made you restrain a shiver, the cold countertop digging at your back providing a sense of relief in the form of familiarity. “I’d like you to elaborate.”
Got him.
Suppressing a smile, you obeyed. “Usually, I gradually increase the dosage and see how the King’s body reacts. The heart… it is a complicated organ and there are a lot of factors that can influence the working of the drug. Sometimes, the body ‘rejects’ a medicine which means we can’t have the patient take that anymore. The rejection can be due to age or some other factors.”
“And this new drug- ruby, you’re calling it?” Hongjoong asked, gaze darting over where the red vial was. “What’s so special about this?”
“Well,” you took a moment to find the right words to answer. “It’s more of a drug than a medicine, for starters. Addiction might be a side-effect but before that, there’s more to worry about. His body may look like it’s adapting and then all of a sudden, it could reject the drug and his condition could get worse.”
“Will there be any signs to indicate such a thing?” 
“I will answer that…” you leaned forward. “But first, I would like to access the private library.”
“And whatever would a royal physician find useful in the library?” The Prince asked, fiddling with the gold button on his black jacket. “It’s full of cobwebs and dust.”
“And a treasure of useful information,” you quipped.
The Prince gave you a threatening look and you sighed. “Alright, there are two reasons I want to access the library. I can only tell you one- that I want to check the family registers and private journals for any signs that this may be hereditary disease. That information is going to benefit you, and that’s my only purpose.”
“And the other reason?” He frowned, not really caring that you wanted to check for his sake. You supposed as a royal physician, it was your duty and he had nothing to be grateful for.
But your reason was still the same.
“I can’t tell you the other reason, because I’m not sure I’ll find anything about it and I don’t want to give you false hope,” you said and that got his attention. “But… if I do find something… you’re going to have to speed up the preparations for your coronation.”
Realisation dawned on Hongjoong’s face and he instinctively looked around before he stepped off the stool and walked towards you with heavy steps. “Do you hear yourself right now?”
“Loud and clear,” you smirked, taking off the mask because there was no need to show him anything but the truth now. “You want this. You want the throne, and I am your loyal subject. My only reason is to have you sit on the throne instead of one of the King’s brothers.”
Confidential information. How did the royal physician know that the King wanted to delay his son’s coronation and instead pass the hierarchy to one of his two brothers? The conflict between the King and Hongjoong was not news- they didn’t see eye to eye on many things and that was public knowledge. But how did you know all of that? 
Or was it so obvious, Hongjoong wondered, that the King did not want his son to take over the throne so soon? If the whole world was against his coronation, why were you presenting yourself as a loyal subject?
“We’ll talk about this later,” the Prince said in a low voice, pointing his finger at you. It unsettled him to see you stand so sure before him. He opened his mouth to say more but couldn’t find the words.
“I’m just a tool for you to use as you please,” you gently lowered his finger, watching his eyes flicker with surprise. “And I’m only doing this for you. Keep that in mind. Have a good night, Your Highness.”
—-----------------------------------
A tool for him to use as he pleased.
And if you wanted to prove your loyalty so bad, he would use you. He would exhaust your services until you had nothing more to offer. But first, Hongjoong needed to find out just what was so interesting about the family tree that you were tracing your finger along the lines that marked his ancestry. 
While you said nothing about him watching you from a distance like a hawk, when you opened one of the registers and your features twisted from concentration to satisfaction, he craned his neck to read the title. 
“Why are you looking at the death registers?”
“So I can learn how the King can die,” you said, watching the confusion on his face change to intrigue. “And how to avoid it.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game here, sweetheart,” the Prince said. “Are you really doing all of this to save the King?”
“I told you, but since we’re in private, we can talk more freely here,” you set the register on your lap, taking a deep breath. “So ask me whatever you want.”
“How did you know about the King considering one of my uncles to take over?”
“I have a few drugs that I sometimes slip in to make him talk,” you folded your arms. “And he’s quite a talker, your father.”
“How can you, a royal physician,” Hongjoong began, almost fuming at the thought, “abuse your power to make the King talk?”
“And why are you, the Crown Prince, not doing anything despite the knowledge of my medical malpractice? Clearly, you’re interested in what I have to offer.”
“I don’t need your loyalty,” Hongjoong shook his head, his platinum hair catching the moonlight through the patterned window behind him when he moved. “The throne belongs to me. Sooner or later, I will take over.”
“Unless your father announces that he likes the Duke of Neverland too much,” you countered. “Or the Duke of Mist Island. He may be a bit slow but he’s got better manners than you. Clearly you’re the least favourite.”
That was what made the Prince laugh mockingly. Though it was just him recovering from the blow that you delivered, you finally made him laugh and that was enough. 
“So, Miss Doctor,” the Prince said almost tauntingly. “What are your recent findings?”
“You won’t be sending me for execution after, will you?” You asked jokingly, though a small part in your heart was scared that you were absolutely wrong about the Prince. 
“That depends on the information I learn tonight,” he made himself clear. “I cannot have the royal physician murdering the King claiming that it was for the Crown Prince. Not a good look for me.”
You agreed, passing him the family tree and pointing at the death register. “These are the official medical records which are in the main library as well. But these parts-” you pointed at the red ink. “That’s information that was never made public. Abnormalities noticed during the treatment of your grandfather who suffered from the same disease as your father. Notice how opium was used for treatment for a few weeks?”
Hongjoong skimmed through the notes, finding an unnamed opium compound mentioned in the treatment section. “And what’s odd about opium being used as a medicine?”
“That they stopped within a few weeks but administered it again- look at how it’s scratched, but the symptoms I’m observing in your father now are similar to your grandfather’s even after they apparently stopped using this opium compound. I asked around and found out which ingredients were used and attempted to replicate this drug for your father. Ruby.”
“Ah,” Hongjoong nodded in realisation. “But why would they stop mentioning the drug- oh, they wouldn’t.”
The air suddenly felt grim as Hongjoong realised that there was a chance that medical malpractice or perhaps, bad intentions were what took his grandfather’s life. “Who was the royal physician at that time?”
“No longer alive,” you told him. “Otherwise I would have confronted him. I do suspect that he never recorded this because he was afraid he would be blamed for His Majesty’s death. There’s also the possibility that one of his sons had a hand in this, though your father was unfazed when I told him that I was treating him with opium.”
Hongjoong cracked his neck, an amused look on his face. “One of my uncles then, huh?”
“Just pure speculation, but my bet is on the doctor making a mistake and realising too late,” you told him.
“So, Doctor,” Hongjoong got up and walked ever so slowly around the table, coming to stand right in front of you. “What do you intend to do about this?”
“Well, now I know that the symptoms of this drug wreaking havoc on the body mimic natural symptoms of the disease, so even if the King keeps using this and, well, dies… I can blame it on his poor health.”
“What do you get out of crowning me?” The Prince whispered, bringing his hand up to hold you by the jaw and even though his grip was gentle as he tilted your face up, you could feel the power exuding from him anyway. It didn’t help that he looked absolutely ravishing like this and you could feel the flimsy shreds of self control falling apart by each second-
You needed to remember that you were here, that you were the Master’s spy, that you were doing this for the ultimate goal. To save Wonderland. You could not be distracted by something as mere as feelings.
“Would you believe me if I told you that I only want you to be the King?” You asked. “Is it so hard to believe that someone actually wants you to rule Wonderland with all their heart?”
“That makes no sense-”
“I want you,” you tested, a shiver running down your spine when his gaze darkened. “I want you to let me keep my post and let me make advances in medicine. I want you to fund my research and allow me to expand my network- even in the black market. I want you to cover me if I make a mistake and in return… I’ll be at your service, however you want. I will get rid of anyone you want.”
He could hear the sound of his heart thumping wildly between his ears. He could hear your breath and feel a whisper of it on his wrist. He could see the dangerous gleam in your eyes and he knew that you were a force to be reckoned with. How had he missed it? How did you appear so normal throughout all those years? He only ever suspected you of maybe fancying him because quite a few times, he had caught you watching him with something that resembled fascination, but now he was finding that it might be obsession. 
A tool for him to use as he pleased. Someone who would do whatever he wants.
Though you weren’t sure if what you said was just a lie or you actually meant some part of it, it clearly had an effect on the Prince. 
Hongjoong brought his thumb to caress the skin near your lips, watching you react under his touch. It was clear as day to him that you wanted him in more ways than you were letting on, perhaps more than even you yourself were aware of. He swiped his thumb across your lower lip, watching your mouth part and your gaze expectant.
Hongjoong kept his thumb pressed on your lip as he bent down to meet your eyes, his face inches away from yours. You held your breath, your heart doing little flips that made you want to crawl away from him. He stared at you for a few moments.
“You will do as I say, whenever I say, whatever I want. Is that clear?” He ordered and you nodded. “For now, you will keep administering ruby to keep the King alive. We don’t want his health to deteriorate all of a sudden. I want you to learn the King’s intentions- who he really wants to crown and for what reasons. I’ll only hear what comes out of his mouth, not your silly little speculations. Make him talk.”
“Understood… Your Highness.”
Hongjoong nodded slowly, trailing his finger down your chin and tracing the outline of your jaw, trailing it down the angle of your neck and leaving goosebumps along your skin. He locked eyes with you as if to dare you to stop him but you only sat still, though he could swear you bent back just a fraction to allow him better access. He played with the pearls on your neck for a moment, trailing his finger down the middle of your chest until they met your collar, dangerously close to the hollow between your breasts.
With a teasing look and a smirk on his lips, he pressed at that spot before backing away. You took a moment to calm down before you shut the registers and put them back on the shelves, agreeing to meet here the night after tomorrow again. As soon as you were in the darkness and comfort of your room, you slumped down on the bed, exhaling.
You could still feel the ghost of his touch on your skin. You could still feel his eyes boring into you. You could still feel the warmth of his breath caress your face.
And while you were overwhelmed with desire, there were more important matters at hand-
Finding out what the King wanted. You would make him talk and deliver the information to the Prince to prove your loyalty and service to him.
You could only hope he would really look at you and believe what you told him. That was necessary for your plan to actually work. You hoped he would think that all you wanted was to excel as a royal physician and medical researcher. You hoped he would understand that only he possessed the power to make that happen. And when he would let his guard down, that would be when you would strike. 
You picked the mattress to move one of the bed planks, revealing a box that contained paper and ink. Using the clear ink on the sandy paper with a bluebird on the corner, you began to write the first message after months of silence.
“The arrow has escaped the bow and is flying towards the target, slowly but surely. The wielder should start preparing for the aftermath.”
—------------------------------------
“How are you feeling, Your Majesty?” You asked, hand around his wrist to check his pulse, noting down the readings as he shuffled.
“Fine for the most part, but I feel lightheaded at times.”
“No changes in his diet?” You asked the nurse assigned to the King and she shook her head no. “Must be the drug then. Is it bearable?”
“For now,” the King confirmed, his eyes darting towards where his son stood at the corner of the room with his arms folded and a deadpan stare. The King shifted uncomfortably yet again and you shot a glare at the Prince which he caught, huffing and looking elsewhere. “Does he have to be present here?”
“Does he make you uncomfortable?” You asked nonchalantly, comparing your readings with the last few days and noticing a pattern. “He’s worried about your health.”
The King grunted. “As if.”
“More worried than your brothers you adore so much,” the Prince mocked. “I don’t see them inquiring about your health. At all.”
“Aren’t you just waiting to hear bad news?” The King asked and when Hongjoong was about to retort, you raised your hand in the air.
“I would appreciate it if you don’t rile him up, Prince Hongjoong,” you said politely. “Your Majesty, you should avoid stressing about your health so much. Have you been taking your morning walks?”
The nurse cleared her throat and you looked at her. “He’s missed two days in a row.”
You turned to look at the King who appeared guilty. “I’m feeling sluggish lately. It’s harder to get up in the morning.”
You noted that- could this be ruby’s doing? Shutting your register, you got up and talked to the nurse while the father and son argued a bit more about the Prince’s unusual presence and the King’s unusual love for his brothers. When you took your leave, the Prince accompanied you all the way to the main door and just when you were about to leave, he looked around to make sure no one was within earshot.
“I thought I asked you to keep the King healthy-”
You clicked your tongue and grabbed his wrist to pull him to your right so the nurse who just exited the King’s room wouldn’t notice the look on the Prince’s face. “Can you be more obvious? We shouldn’t be talking about this here- and it’s not my doing, by the way.”
The Prince looked at you with scepticism and before he could snatch his wrist from your grip, you let go of it yourself. You could see the muscles in his jaw clenching as he formed a response. 
“We’ll talk about this later,” the Prince promised almost threateningly and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. “Tonight. Library. Mingi will accompany you.”
You huffed in response, glancing at his aide who came to inspect what the noise was about. Bowing mockingly, you exited the chamber and made way towards your room near the medical chamber. 
You were about to make a turn to the left when you bumped into a guard who was carrying some documents and you apologised, squatting down to pick up the pages that he dropped. While collecting them and exchanging more apologies, you thought you spotted a familiar stamp but the guard was immediately on his way after thanking you. You took only two steps before you realised-
It was the bluebird stamp.
You kept walking, the Master’s bitter tone ringing in your ears reminding you to keep moving forwards and remain unfazed. It took a lot of effort to keep a straight face because after months of radio silence, you finally saw a sign that the bluebirds were here. They were in the castle and they had not abandoned you.
However, when you picked your mattress to take out the box and saw a letter inside, the contents of the letter made sweat ooze out of your pores even when you felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on you. You were once again reminded that the bluebirds were a very extensive network with eyes and ears everywhere.
But how did they know what happened inside the private library? You and Hongjoong were the only ones present. The short message in the letter seemed to suggest as if they had taken a peek inside your heart at your most vulnerable moment.
“Do not lose sight of the real target. Do not get distracted. Pleasure is temporary. Freedom can be eternal.”
The two hours that you waited for the Prince’s aide to knock on the door had to be the longest of your life. You simply sat on the chair biting your nails unceremoniously as you tried to figure out just who in the castle or the Prince’s closest companions could be the part of the rebel group that was the core of your identity.
The bluebirds, trained by one Master whose face had always been hidden behind a mask, whose voice was a command itself. Your parents were a part of that group, but you could hardly call them parents because as soon as you were able to walk on your own and think without guidance, your training started. You learned the art of disguise, trickery and manipulation. You learned science and medicine until you started achieving things on your own. You were no one special, though. You were just another spy who was in the castle, disguised as someone of importance. Any doubts about you being alone in the castle were gone now. 
You were wondering if the Prince was aware of the existence of your group- it was a secret underground rebel group but it had been active for decades now. The bluebirds were slowly but surely infiltrating the government bodies and were directly or indirectly responsible for some of the major policies that influenced the kingdom. 
When the knock sounded on the door, you sighed in relief and got up to open the door to Mingi and you greeted him with a nod, grabbing your keys and locking the room behind you. He accompanied you to the royal chamber in silence until you were almost there and he cleared his throat. 
“Is there a reason you have to access the private library so often?”
You narrowed your eyes purposely as he glanced at you. “Ask your prince? He doesn’t have to be present- I’m just looking for something that can help me with the King’s treatment.”
“Are you sure you’ll find that there?” He asked, taking a turn towards the corridor that led to the library. “I mean… have you looked in the main library?”
“Yes, and yes,” you said. “I’ve gone through everything before asking the Prince for permission to access the private library.”
“If you’re looking for medical related stuff, you should look for the archives in the public library here in the Capital too,” Mingi suggested and you perked up at that. “Anything of importance that is no longer in the castle can be found there.”
“If it is of importance, why would it be no longer in the castle?” You wondered.
“Rebels used to raid libraries about twenty years ago, if you remember your history,” Mingi answered. “Whatever was recovered went to the public library instead of back here.”
Now that was something you had not been aware of. If important archives and documents had been stolen, why were they at the public library instead of at the castle? And more importantly, was it the bluebirds that carried out these attacks? If it was the bluebirds, why had no one told you? You could have visited the public library with ease any time.
“Thank you for letting me know. I’ll make sure to visit the public library the next time I step out of the castle.”
Mingi smiled in response and extracted a key out of his pocket, unlocking the wooden carved door that opened to the library. “The Prince is inside. I’ll be on my way then.”
You nodded and stepped inside the dark room, letting the aide shut the door behind him as he left. You walked towards the window which was the only source of light- did the Prince not bother lighting any candles while he was inside-
There was a sole candle on the table where you had sat a few nights ago with Hongjoong when you checked the family tree. Hongjoong was nowhere to be found though, so you started walking past the shelves, looking to spot the man-
And trying your hardest to swallow a scream when he appeared out of nowhere, though he was quick to grab your arms to avoid a collision.
“Easy there,” he said, sounding amused. Probably because you were positive all the colour left your face. 
Well, if it had, it sure returned with a flush when you noticed how close you were to the Prince and how human he looked in the moonlight now that he wasn’t wearing his permanent scowl and his hair wasn’t styled to perfection. The tendrils falling on his forehead over his eyes created a soft look. It wasn’t always that the Prince looked anything less than menacing so you got a good look at him before wriggling away.
“Sorry, but you could have lit a few more candles. It’s pretty dark here.”
“We avoid candles. Don’t want to risk a fire, which is why it’s usually optimal to access this room when the sun is out.”
“Can’t go around scheming during the day though, can we?” You said casually though the comment made the Prince chuckle darkly. It looked like he was finally coming to terms with you- and himself. 
“Doesn’t seem like the daytime would be a hindrance for you,” the Prince put his hands in the pockets of the black slacks he was wearing. “Did you switch the drug? Why is the King feeling off?”
“I need to research a bit more to answer that,” you folded your arms. “I don’t control the way his body reacts to the drug. If it seems like ruby will deteriorate his health at a rapid pace, I might have to stop administering that drug to him.”
“Lower the dose then,” he ordered. “Or do you have a better alternative?”
“A better alternative to what?” You dared to ask, earning an annoyed look. “Do you want the King alive and healthy for as long as possible?”
Hongjoong cocked his head- did you really want to hear it from his mouth?
“Or… do you want his health to decline such that it would seem natural?” You scoffed at the way he glared at you. “Surely, you must have made up your mind by now.”
“I asked you to keep the King healthy,” he practically spat. “And I asked you to make him talk.”
“I think he dislikes your presence a little too much, Prince,” you snickered. “I actually slipped a few drops of verita tonight. A harmless little thing, only makes you a bit hazy so that you start saying things you wouldn’t otherwise. And oh, the only thing he had to say was that you’re just waiting for him to die.”
“Yeah, well, that is the sad truth,” he said mockingly, glancing towards the window. “He won’t talk in front of me. I suspected that.”
“Looks like you’re stuck with me then,” you said, moving past him to go to the last shelf which contained the rest of the medical records of the royal family that you hadn’t had the chance to access yet. “I do think he’s aware that he doesn’t have much time. Isn’t the Duke of Neverland visiting soon?”
“Next week, yes. Bet he’ll be over the clouds to see my father dying especially when he learns that he’s in his good graces.”
“Well… that’s how I’m here to help,” you glanced at him. “I was thinking… your father was the crown prince, which means he probably didn’t visit your grandfather much when he was ill. He must have been too busy trying to keep the kingdom stable and running.”
“That’s right,” Hongjoong agreed. “I recall my grandfather complaining how he never made time for him.”
“And it’s a known fact that the Duke of Neverland tried to snatch the title of crown prince. Tried to coerce his father. Didn’t work, did it?”
“He was let off with a warning, and now he’s after me.”
“He must have visited your grandfather a lot then,” you brought the medical register that you had checked a few nights ago back to the table. “The royal physician who treated your grandfather is no longer alive, but the Duke of Neverland must know something about the treatment. You have to keep an eye on him and watch his reaction carefully when it is revealed that ruby is being used to treat the King.”
Hongjoong frowned. “Do you suspect that he had something to do with it?”
“I do,” you admitted. “Especially because he’s been coveting your title. He might have meddled with the late King’s treatment- it’s just an assumption for now, but it is strange how the late King suddenly passed away.”
The Prince nodded slowly and you could see that he was trying to connect the dots. You cleared your throat, catching his attention.
“I also plan to visit the public library in the city soon. Your aide Mingi told me that I may find something of importance there.”
Hongjoong wasn’t surprised to hear that so you figured they must have discussed something. “He’ll accompany you on that visit.”
“Alright,” you said, getting up to find more books and records on the royal bloodline’s medical history. 
Time passed by quickly even though you found little to nothing of interest, but it looked like the seed of doubt had been planted because the Prince seemed to be deep in thought as he kept glancing at the page you had pointed to- the word ‘opium’ scratched over and over as if someone had tried to erase the evidence of it. You smiled to yourself- the plan seemed to be working.
Though you kept one eye on the Prince, you became distracted by a book on alchemy that seemed to be annotated by the royal physician during the time of the King’s grandfather. You flipped through the pages, mouth parted in surprise and awe at the dedication and effort of the royal physician- he seemed to have created the blueprint for most of the drugs that were now commonly supplied throughout Wonderland, and that was a remarkable feat.
You almost didn’t hear the Prince until he was right behind you and you jumped a little when he rested a hand on your shoulder to let him take a peek at what you were reading. When he noticed the surprise on your face, he smirked.
“What’s got you so busy and immersed that you didn’t notice my presence?”
“Sorry, uh,” you collected yourself, sliding away just a fraction but he seemed to have caught that- he caught everything. “Notes from the royal physician during your great grandfather’s time. He’s a figure we doctors look up to a lot.”
Hongjoong flipped through the pages, book still in your hand. “Have you always wanted to become a doctor?”
A question so simple yet you had never been asked before. Your brows rose momentarily as you processed the question, trying not to lose yourself in the spiral of what the real answer was- that no. You never wanted to become a doctor. It was just something you taught yourself to love- or something you pretend to love so you don’t forget why you’re here-
“Is it such a difficult question to answer?” He shrugged, taking the book from you so you would have no choice but to focus on him.
“I guess I just learned to love it when I found myself in this field,” you said. Probably the first honest thing you had shared with the Prince. “Have you always wanted to be the crown prince?”
Hongjoong laughed at that, caught by surprise at your sudden question and you found yourself joining- you had never heard the Crown Prince laugh like that- like a kid, unguarded. The Prince seemed to realise that too, though that didn’t stop him. You supposed that since it was only the two of you within the privacy of these four walls, he felt more at ease. And though the rational part in you told you that it was good that he was letting his guard down, your heart ached for some reason.
“I guess I learned to love it too?” He shrugged. “At some point, it becomes something you have to do rather than something you want to do.”
You nodded- you knew that all too well. “You’re doing this for the kingdom.”
“For the people,” he said. “The King hasn’t been making the best decisions regarding the kingdom ever since he got sick. The people- I know they aren’t fond of me, but they do not know how to run this kingdom. They think resuming trade with the bordering nations like the King plans to will help stabilise our economy.”
“I mean… a common man would think that you would save a lot from land routes instead of the sea routes.”
“But the common man is not aware that the King plans to impose more taxes and tariffs on his people,” Hongjoong told you as if letting you in on a secret- it was, except you were already aware. “And I think even if they find out, they will overlook that. In the long run, it will only create more problems and smuggling will become rampant. We barely managed to control that when we were recovering from the late King’s death.”
“But do you really care about the people?” You dared to question, relaxing when Hongjoong only passed you an amused look. “Or is it just because you want to prove something to your father and uncles?”
“Can’t it be a little bit of both?” He leaned against the shelf. “The people…” Hongjoong shook his head. “They say it’s only the people who suffer from the decisions we make. Is that really true though? Because I think they’re living a pretty pleasant life without worrying about making decisions of such magnitudes.”
“I guess the royal class suffers in their own way,” you scoffed. “Insomnia.”
“Insomnia can’t be classified as suffering anymore. It’s more of a bonus.”
You smiled at that- that was true. There wasn’t a royal who didn’t suffer from lack of sleep- or lack of good sleep. “Is there something that helps you sleep better at night? Apart from the prescriptions?”
“Overworking,” Hongjoong spread his arms to prove what he was doing right now instead of resting. “And… well. Other activities.”
“Such as?”
“Oh, wouldn’t you love to hear about that,” Hongjoong smiled suggestively and you were lost for a second before you almost choked, looking away to keep the flush creeping on your cheeks at bay. “Want to help me with that? Be my personal nurse?”
“Shut up,” you muttered, snatching the book from him and putting it back on the shelf, his dark chuckle echoing inside you. He leaned forward right at the moment that you were turning in his direction, the both of you surprised when you found your faces inches away from each other- you could almost see the flecks of brown in his dark orbs even in the faint moonlight.
Almost hastily, you took one step back at the same moment that he leaned forward, his eyes locked with yours. You raised a brow, the atmosphere heavy with unspoken words. The air was thick with tension, taking the form of something almost electric and tangible- you were sure if you mimicked his movements and leaned forward, you would combust.
The Prince slipped his tongue between his teeth in contemplation and your gaze fell there- a mistake, because you were so, so tempted to get a taste of those plush lips. If it wasn’t obvious to Hongjoong, you were curling in on yourself with each passing second as your heart and mind clashed with one another violently inside of you-
“Didn’t peg you as the shy type,” the Prince commented, barely a whisper.
“I’m not shy,” you retorted. “I’m just trying to find an answer as to why you keep crowding my personal space.”
“Ah, is that how it is now?” Hongjoong tsk-ed in disappointment, standing straight now. “Thought you liked it when I did that.”
You did. You couldn’t tell him that not because he couldn’t know, but because you were sure he would do something about it and that couldn’t end well for you.
“Looks like you’ll be up all night tonight then,” you scoffed, making the Prince laugh again. “I’ll be taking my leave now. Unlike you, I’m not a royal so I cannot sleep in or ditch my duties. Goodnight, Prince.”
Hongjoong only shook his head in amusement as he watched your figure disappear. The smile fell when you left and he went back to sit on the sofa, watching the moon from the window.
He was pretty sure you had an ulterior motive under the pretence that you were unquestionably loyal to him. There was no such thing as loyalty- a person was faithful as long as they were satisfied. Hongjoong knew that very well, so he wondered just what you were going to get out of killing the King and crowning him. It didn’t look like you wanted to sit on the throne with him, but he didn’t dismiss the possibility- you could simply just be very good at hiding your feelings.
But then… a smirk started creeping on Hongjoong’s lips as he recalled the way he got you flustered. It wasn’t his presence that got you all tense- it was when he flirted, that was clear to him now. However, you were putting up quite a fight-
And Hongjoong wasn’t one to back away from a fight. Plus… he really wanted to shut you up once. 
And if getting in your good graces- if it could be called that- would get him some answers then he was going to make this enjoyable. 
He just had to keep his guard up. And that wasn’t so hard, was it?
—--------------------------
It was becoming harder with each passing day to keep your guard up when you were with the Prince.
He was just as stubborn and hot-headed as ever, which was already something you had to deal with. He was especially jumpy since the Duke of Neverland seemed to have been attacked by a ‘rebel group’ on his way to the castle and had delayed his trip by a few days. The King was worrying too much about his brother and that annoyed the Crown Prince to bits. His frustration was obvious and everyone around him was having to deal with the aftermath. 
And because he was so frustrated, he couldn’t sleep which meant that whenever you met up in the private library- not to read anymore but to talk and plan- he acted… different. You wondered if it was the lack of sleep that was making him lightheaded and outright flirtatious but it seemed to be just… Hongjoong being Hongjoong. And you weren’t sure how long you could keep joking around like this- turning him down by joking was what you had been doing actually.
It was the little things- he would sit in front of you only to overwhelm you with his stare, his eyes scanning you in a different manner than usual. He would purposely play with the edge of your skirt or if he was feeling a little daring, with your fingers while you chatted about medical history or politics. You tried your best to ignore it, especially since there was an obvious reason that you could not involve yourself with the Prince. 
But with each passing day and each passing moment spent by the Prince’s side, you were wondering if it would be too bad to have just a little fun while you carried out your plan. And if you looked at the bigger picture, it could help you carry out your plan and perhaps benefit you in ways you hadn’t ever considered before.
It would also be a slap on the Master’s face. The Master who had overseen your training and told you that all you were was just a piece in the puzzle he was playing. In your whole life, even at the castle, whenever you were about to make a decision of your own, he would send a sign and hold your invisible reins back- just like when you saw one of the guards with the bluebird stamp. It was always a warning that came out of the Master’s mouth and never a word of encouragement or affirmation that you were on the right path and that your efforts were commendable.
You had dedicated your whole life to the cause of the bluebirds- to end the monarchy, once and for all. It had been attempted in the past but never successfully, and you supposed it was because the previous rulers had been wise enough to dismiss internal conflict so they could focus on the external threats from the bluebirds. However, after decades, there was finally enough internal conflict to narrow the royals’ visions. They would not see it coming. There were many key players in this plan, in the light and in the shadows- but you were aware that you were the wild card of this game.
And if you succeeded, which you were bound to from the looks of it so far, the monarchy would end- there would be no one of royal blood left to rule, and before someone else could take over, the other players would make sure that the system of monarchy would collapse and democracy would be established. Once that was done, the people would finally have a taste of true freedom. It was going to be a very tragic end for the royal bloodline, and if you were going to play a part in it…
Would it be too wrong to have some fun and have him think that you actually liked him? Though if you started pondering on the matter, you didn’t have an answer- you were confused. But it was becoming harder to reject his subtle advances and you weren’t sure how long you could hold your fort, so why not let him think he had the upper hand?
“You’re staring, sweetheart.”
It didn’t help when he called you sweetheart or kitten or something equally stupid (and something that strangely tugged at your heartstrings). You quite liked hearing such terms from his mouth and you wanted to hear him say a lot more-
“Drooling, now.”
“There’s just a strange insect near your ear-”
The terrified face the Prince made as he swatted wildly near both his ears made you choke down your laugh but when he finally realised you were joking, you laughed wholeheartedly, clapping your hands in disbelief while Hongjoong recovered from the surprise and embarrassment.
“Do you have a death wish?” He growled, shaking his head and you wiped the tears in your eyes, noticing that he was almost smiling now.
“Do you have a death wish?” You countered. “I wasn’t staring, neither was I drooling. I just… zoned out.”
“You were staring,” he insisted. “But I don’t blame you. I’m quite a sight for sore eyes, am I not?”
“Totally,” you muttered, not daring to fuel him further lest he figure you out. You set the vials in your hands aside, getting up to grab the washcloth and clean the counter. “If you’re going to make my lab your lounge, I must let you know that I’m not responsible if I ‘accidentally’ spill a chemical on you.”
“Yeah, this might not be the best place to get comfortable,” he sent you a suggestive look. “There are tons of abandoned rooms in the castle.”
“And you want me to give you company?” you wiped at a stubborn blue mark on the counter near the Prince’s hand. “Because we haven’t been doing anything, just coexisting in the same space. Sounds like someone has been lonely.”
When he didn’t respond, you glanced at him to find his expressions guarded. It strangely reminded you of yourself and you continued. “It’s alright. I’m not one to say, though I must admit I thought you had more people who you met eye to eye with.”
“Well, you’re the only one who knows my wicked intentions,” he scoffed. “I might have to get rid of you for that.”
“No wonder you have no friends,” you made a face, taking off your apron and going to wash your hands in the sink. “I thought you appreciated that I was willing to kill for you.”
“You know, I really don’t get it,” Hongjoong got up, walking towards the other counter where you were drying your hands. “You sound like you’ve killed people. Or you think too highly of yourself.”
“Well… we both have blood on our hands, whether we’ve killed or not,” you said and he realised that was true. “A lot of people have died by my hands, just like they have by yours.”
Hongjoong didn’t need to know that you had actually poisoned and killed whoever came close to discovering the identity of the bluebirds. He would only assume you meant that about your sick patients, and that was fine.
“Does it keep you up at night?” He asked teasingly.
“Not really,” you grinned. “It’s not what keeps you up either.”
Hongjoong shook his head in disbelief and wonder, his hand going to your face almost naturally to tuck the stray hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to sound so happy about it, princess, just because you don’t have to pretend to be sad about it in front of me.”
Princess. 
How could he so casually call you princess and invoke such a powerful desire in you to be the owner of that title? To have the Prince repeatedly call you that? 
“Do you go around calling anyone princess?” You asked, sounding out of breath and Hongjoong raised his brow- he didn’t realise that it would have such an effect on you, but then again-
He had never called anyone princess, not even jokingly.
“Do you like that?” He asked, his thumb caressing your cheek as his hand cupped your face. “Do you like being called princess?”
“It’s you who said it, Prince.” you answered.
Hongjoong cocked his head in thought- were you after the title then, or had you simply never been called something affectionate? Because he did notice how you reacted every time he called you something as simple as sweetheart, or love- even when it was derogatory. He wished he could peek inside your mind and see what you were thinking-
He saw how your gaze darkened when you gently grabbed his wrist to draw his hand away from his face just a fraction, only to peck his palm- your lips felt like the brush of a feather against his skin but that only fueled his selfish desire to get a taste of them for himself.
“Do not ever call me a princess again,” you warned in a low voice, surprising him. “Do not call me anything that you don’t mean. I’ll take my leave first. Goodnight, Your Highness.”
Before you could fully turn away from him, he caught your wrist and tugged you towards him, making your body collide with his lightly. The two of you were now flush against each other, your joined hands in the air as he scanned your face, the desire in your eyes so obvious that it was palpable. 
And he was pretty sure he was very obvious too- he just couldn’t help it. He was beyond confused and it irked him to no end and he needed to find the answer. He was sure you were his answer-
You shook your head as if that could help your situation but you gave up and rested your forehead against his shoulder, feeling his body stiffen for just a second before he relaxed. He let go of your wrist only to place his hands on the curve of your hips while you fisted the material of his shirt in your hands-
Oh, you wanted to have a little fun? This was it, and it scared you to no end. You only took a few moments to inhale and memorise the musky notes of his scent before you drew back and made way to the exit without meeting eyes with him.
You couldn’t face him when you weren’t sure if you just wanted to play with him, use him or be with him.
—----------------------------
“If that black fake dye wasn’t obvious, your jumpiness is giving you away,” you commented when you spotted Hongjoong casting a wary glance at the poor teen who happened to cross your path. “You can take off the cloak. It’s just a library.”
“If anyone recognises me here, it could get dangerous,” he muttered.
“It’s literally the library, relax,” you said, looking at Mingi for help but he seemed to be enjoying your bickering and raised his hands in surrender. “You’re making it harder for me to concentrate. Mingi, can you accompany the Prince to the kids’ section please?”
“Don’t call me the Prince here- hey!” Hongjoong scowled, making Mingi stifle another snicker. “I’m not bothering you, okay? Read what you have to, I’m just standing here.”
“I mean… you are making it a bit obvious,” Mingi started but shut up when the Prince shot him a dirty look. “Alright, let’s give the doctor some space so we can save some time. We don’t have to go to the kids’ section.”
You groaned in relief, silently thanking Mingi who was originally going to be your only companion on this trip to the library. It looked like the Prince’s aide had gotten used to whatever was going on with you two, or simply didn’t care enough to question it. Perhaps he didn’t dare to, which wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. But you still had no idea why the Prince was here- did he have so much free time or was he shirking his duties? Why did the Prince’s aide not tell him this was a bad idea?
Whatever it was, you took your sweet time exploring everything on the royals- not just the medical related knowledge you were here for, but political history and uprisings, specifically. You were aware that things could take a very wrong turn and you wanted to be prepared for everything. You didn’t want to be limited only by the knowledge the Master had allowed you to gain. 
So when about two hours later you went to find Hongjoong and Mingi, you almost panicked when you couldn’t spot them anywhere- but while frantically searching for them you heard low, oddly familiar giggles. You narrowed your eyes as you took two turns to find the Prince and his aide sitting on the floor side by side, pointing at crude images in the comic books-
In the kids’ section.
You cleared your throat, but they only spared you a glance, snickering at something funny they read but remaining unmoving. 
“Your Royal Highness,” you sighed. “It’s getting dark. We should go back to the castle.”
“Let me just finish this chapter,” Hongjoong wiped a fake tear from his eye while Mingi doubled over with laughter over something he read. You folded your arms, looking at them in utter disbelief.
This was the Prince you were supposed to put on the throne? This was the man the Master wanted you to kill?
You smiled to yourself at the sight of the two- you weren’t sure the Prince would get to have such carefree moments in the future, so you let them take their time, making a mental note of whatever they were reading. When they finished the chapter, they got up and got back to being the stuck-up Prince and guarded aide duo, steering you towards the exit and into the carriage to go back to the castle.
The ride was mostly silent, all of you sorting your thoughts out. You agreed to meet up later tonight at one of the abandoned rooms that had become your rendezvous point now. For now, the Prince sneaked back to his room through one of the secret routes so no one would question why he was out looking like that with the royal physician, of all the people.
You were glad that you were busy for the rest of the evening with lab work and assisting the other doctors in the infirmary. You went to the royal chamber later at night for the routine checkup on the King, administering the lower ruby dose mixed with a little verita this time. There were some answers you needed, so you dismissed the nurse, saying she could take a breather while you talked to the King.
“Hongjoong has been diligent lately. It’s strange,” the King found himself pondering out loud.
“Has he not always been diligent?” You asked- the Prince was known to be too hardworking.
“It’s like he almost means it now,” the King admitted. “It makes me rethink if I’ve been too harsh on him.”
“Or maybe he’s just preparing to take over more of your duties,” you carefully threw in the suggestion. “You haven’t been attending some of the meetings.”
“Could be,” he laughed, though it didn’t sound happy. “Woobin is arriving next week- he could be preparing himself. They’re always clashing with each other whenever they’re in the same room.”
“Hmm… about that,” you began, knowing that the verita was working now. “What do you think about the attack on His Highness Woobin?”
“What is there to think?” The old man frowned. “The Duke of Neverland has enemies just like all of us.”
“I was just wondering if you should look into which rebel group specifically planned the attack. It could be that insiders shared information and his travel route.”
The King thought for a moment, scratching the grey stubble on his face in thought. “You’re right. It’s either his men or one of ours.”
“You know, I went to the city today,” you told him while rubbing the pressure points on his hand. “And I heard rumours- people are speculating the Prince might have had a hand in the Duke’s attack. It’s not a secret that you favour the Duke and might pass the hierarchy to him- the public does prefer your brother over your son.”
“Ah…” the old man frowned in thought. “Could this be the case?”
“They’re only rumours,” you shrugged. “Nothing to worry about, really.”
But you had planted the seeds of worry and doubt in the King, strengthening his likening for the Duke. Once he would confront Hongjoong and demand answers or a confession to something he didn’t do, the Prince’s hatred for his father and uncles would amplify.
And when that would happen, you would be there for the Prince. You would act as his sword when he would demand it, and shield him when he would need it. You would do all of that before turning at him.
But for now… 
“He really thinks I’m not performing my duties properly?”
“You don’t have to sound so hurt- it’s not like he knows how hard you work,” you consoled the Prince. “He would think you’re neglecting your duties but he’s coped up in his room all day. He’s just being bitter.”
Hongjoong folded his arms and you shook your head at the way he was sulking, his frown deepening with each passing second. “He’s never going to acknowledge me.”
“You don’t have to get acknowledged by him. You’re the rightful owner of the crown. Neither the King nor his brothers should try to take that away from you.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes I’m tempted to give up too,” he confessed and your eyes widened in surprise. He looked away from you, the faint hues of the candlelight casting shadows at the cuts and creases of his face. “I’m driving myself to do something for this kingdom only to be remembered as a tyrant in the history books you love reading so much.”
Even though he had pretended not to care about having such a reputation for the rest of his life, you were a bit thrown off to learn that it was a genuine concern he harboured in his heart. Once again, you found yourself blurring the lines of what was supposed to be the boundary between your facade and the feelings in the deepest recesses of your heart. 
“You don’t have to look at me like that,” he chuckled darkly. “I don’t know why I’m even saying this in the first place.”
“It’s okay to share,” you urged. “No judgement here.”
“Yeah, I might be a bit too honest in your presence,” he laughed, shaking his head. “You know, while we were at the library and Mingi and I were reading those stupid books-”
“You loved those stupid books-”
“Not the point, but I realised something,” Hongjoong sent you a warning glare to not interrupt him again and you sat straighter, crossing your legs that were dangling from the edge of the bed. “I realised that I rarely ever had moments where I was just… Hongjoong. Not the prince, not the crown prince.”
“Just Hongjoong looked a bit silly, I’ll admit.”
Hongjoong only smiled at that. You decided to do something about this- you did not like him seeing so quiet and sentimental. 
“Even the greatest of warriors are called privileged by people who will never know what sacrifices they made so their kids live a better life than they did,” you said. “You may think that you’re alone, but you’re not. You’ve got one loyal supporter right here,” you raised your hand and he let out a short laugh. “You don’t need to convince the world- or even your father- to see your true intentions. Not that they would appreciate it, now that I think about it…”
Hongjoong laughed at that, resting his hand on his chest. “That was a jab.”
“Yeah, well, the world doesn’t need to know you plan to get rid of the King so they can live a better life in the future,” you teased. “They would be appalled to learn that.”
“You should shut your mouth sometimes, darling. You’re too loud,” he warned though he couldn’t keep himself from smiling shamelessly. 
Your eyes twinkled with curiosity and wonder- he really was just like you. You weren’t the most moral person, you knew all too well- the Master had drained the morality out of you, but he- 
He was here, in all his royal glory yet still just as ugly as you inside. He didn’t attempt to hide it, rather wore it like a badge, though only those who really looked at him found who he truly was.
And that was what was so beautiful about him.
“Aren’t you glad to have me?” You teased. “I bet you can’t talk to Mingi about this stuff. Does he know that you’re hiding something monstrous behind that pretty face?”
“His only job is to help me with the royal duties,” he said. “He doesn’t need to know, but… I’m sure he’s caught on. He doesn’t seem to care, though.”
“You should still be cautious.”
“Yeah, I should be, shouldn’t I?” The Prince leaned back on the chair he was sitting on, folding his arms as he cast a suspicious glance at you. “Maybe I should ask Mingi to get rid of you. You know too much.”
“Oh, you want to shut me up so bad,” you rolled your eyes. “But I’m the only one who’ll dirty my hands for you.”
“Why-”
“Talking about dirtying my hands,” you got up and bent down a bit to reach his height, running your fingers through the hair next to his temple and catching the remnants of the black dye on your palm. You showed him. “It’s so noticeable- you should have washed it out properly.”
The Prince didn’t answer, his eyes guarded as he looked up at you though his mouth was parted almost expectantly. You frowned for a moment at the lack of his reaction before you realised-
He liked it. 
You hesitated before curling your hand in his soft platinum hair again, caressing his scalp and then stifling a smirk when you tugged at his hair a bit harshly, making him crane his neck up to look at you, a soft chuckle escaping his mouth as he shut his eyes.
“You’re playing a very dangerous game here, love.”
“Stop me, then,” you challenged, not caring that you were going to risk everything. You positioned one leg on his thigh to lean your weight on him, your other hand going to grip the back of his neck. “I don’t see you complaining, Prince.”
Hongjoong hooked one finger in the pearl necklace that you were always wearing, bringing you closer and you almost lost your balance, a little gasp leaving your mouth when you pressed against his chest for support. Hands still on his neck and in his hair, you tried leaning away but this time, he stilled you with his hands on your waist. He buried his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply.
“You smell like chemicals, darling,” he breathed, pecking the skin where his lips met your neck. “And roses.”
“You smell like cheap hair dye,” you said, resting your cheek against his head, his body shaking under you as he chuckled. “Don’t ever wear that again.”
“Your wish is my command, princess,” he said and you froze again. He leaned back to scan your face. “Why? You told me to not call you what I didn’t mean.”
“You don’t mean that, though,” you told him, something incredibly sad starting to brew inside you.
“But I’m only ever honest with you,” he pleaded. “Don’t you know that? If I wasn’t, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
You sighed at that, wishing you were anywhere else other than his fucking lap so your brain wouldn’t have so much problem functioning, but it looked like for now, you were a lost cause. You caught the wetness from the outer corner of his left eye, wiping it down and smearing the black dye on his face in the process. He let you mark him and, mimicking what you had done the night you had warned him not to call him ‘princess’, he grabbed your palm and kissed it.
That was your last straw. You told yourself that you didn’t care if the Prince was honest or deceiving you- you only cared about one thing- you needed him. You rested your cheek against his, trailing kisses down his temple to his jaw and rubbing the tip of your nose there, making him groan. He squeezed your hips encouragingly and that only prompted you to trail more kisses down his neck. You found one spot and alternated between kissing and sucking, drawing away after a few moments when he shifted under you, grinning at the forming bruise.
You marked the Prince like you owned him. And the thought of that alone was making you lightheaded.
You locked eyes with Hongjoong, seeing red- red for lust. Before you knew it, you both were leaning in, your lips meeting in a flurry as you snaked your hands back in his hair, gripping his head to keep him close as you kissed. He brought your body closer while he kissed you, switching from pecks to open-mouthed kisses when you fully rested on his lap, desire coursing through every cell in your body.
This was it. This was the man the Master had warned you to be wary of- the man who held you possessively yet carefully. The man who tugged at your bottom lip, prompting you to open your mouth so he could explore it with his tongue. The man who kissed you as if he had been starving for it- you didn’t know about him but you sure had. 
You couldn’t bring yourself closer, bodies flush against each other as you made out for what seemed like an eternity before he got up, making you wrap your legs around his waist and then he dumped you on the old, somewhat dusty bed. You didn’t care though. You brought him in too, keeping his core locked to yours with your legs, his hands fumbling to open the buttons of your gown- he might as well have torn them. He ripped the bodice of your gown apart, trailing his lips down your neck to your chest and resting his lips on the skin between your breasts.
“Tired already?” You teased, making him chuckle against your chest. He ran his hands up your waist, tracing the curves of your chest before his palms met the bare skin on your shoulders and then he ran his hands down your arms almost lovingly, your smile changing to a gasp when he gripped your wrists tightly and pinned your arms above your head, almost glaring at you.
“You talk too much, sweetheart.”
“Do I now?” you scoffed, letting him pin your wrists with one hand while the other drew your dress away from your chest to reveal your perked up nipples, the cold making you shiver a bit. He cupped one of your breasts in one hand while kissing and sucking around the other, making your back arch against his body. The way he kissed you was too much- it looked like he intended to devour you. You could feel how turned on he was when he started rocking his body against yours, his hard bulge pressing against your core and making you stifle moans until he purposely pressed harder, finally earning a loud one from you.
“That’s what you’ve been wanting all this time, haven’t you?” Hongjoong whispered in your ear, nibbling at your earlobe and making you squirm. “Only wanting to get in my good graces to get fucked by me.”
“Yeah, well, if I had known this was going to happen,” you said, out of breath. “I would have done something sooner.”
He chuckled at that, pressing a sweet kiss to your mouth and drawing back, looking you in the eyes before kissing you deeper. He let you take off his shirt, discarding it on the floor. He let you run your hands on his bare upper body repeatedly, let you help him take off your dress and his pants until you were both left in just your undergarments. He let you take control for just a while when you got on top of him, settling on his lap and admiring his physique. 
His hands rested on your hips, playing with the waistband of your panties, tempted to do something about that too, but for now, he watched you watch him with desire in your eyes. He was surprised to find you so needy yet each touch felt controlled, almost calculated. He didn’t care though- it was already pleasurable enough to drive him insane. He had never let anyone take control of the pace like you did, so he was looking forward to what you were going to do with him.
And he was glad that he let you- you wrapped your hand around his neck experimentally before you bent down to kiss him, loving the way his kisses now became restrained as you controlled his air intake. You swallowed his moans in your kisses, not noticing how tightly he was squeezing your hips until he spanked you once, making you laugh as you drew back.
“Do you have a death wish?” He asked, voice raspy.
“Maybe?” You pecked his cheek.
That was enough- he flipped your bodies to get on top of you, shaking his head before trailing kisses down your chest and then looking at you, watching your expressions when he brought his hand between your legs and brushed one finger against the wet patch on your panties.
“Soaked already, and we’ve just begun.”
“Just begun?” You asked, mouth suddenly dry though the thought of what was next sent a new wave of arousal through your body. Hongjoong snickered at your reaction, wasting no time to pull your panties down, licking his lips at the sight of your drenched core. You kicked him away lightly before taking off your panties and he ran his hands up your thighs-
Pausing when he felt marred skin on his palm and cold washed over you when you realised that he hadn’t noticed the small marks and scars that littered through your body earlier in the faint light- but now, his eyes stopped at each one that he detected.
“Are you going to explain this?”
“Rough childhood,” you muttered- not the entire truth, but close. “Most of these are from how reckless I was, though. Nothing to worry about.”
Hongjoong passed you a look that said that he didn’t buy it, but he didn’t probe. Instead, he kissed every mark and every scar that he found on your thighs before spreading your legs and circling your clit with his thumb, now sporting a devilish smile. You bit your lips- if the emotions from him treating you so tenderly were too much just now, this was a lot. It felt more intimate and personal than anything you had ever experienced. 
“Look at you, y/n,” he called your name- a rare occurrence. “Look at you.”
Before you could respond, he sank one finger inside you quite easily, groaning at how tightly your walls hugged him. You shut your eyes, back arching in pleasure when he curled it inside and slipped another finger- he really did intend to fuck you, and you were going to take it.
“Good girl,” he muttered, meeting your mouth in a wet kiss. You tried to clench your thighs, overwhelmed by the pleasure you got from his fingers curling and opening inside you but he locked your thighs to the bed with his knees, making out with you while his fingers fucked you. Your breathing got unsteady and he knew you were approaching your orgasm which was when he let your legs free, your hips moving of their own accord, rocking against his palm.
“God, you’re insane,” he growled in your ear, slipping his fingers out of you and you almost sobbed at the lack of them inside you, though when he watched his soaked fingers in amusement and licked them to get a taste, you felt shivers in your entire body. He hummed in approval.
“Do something,” you begged but he laughed mockingly. When you shot him a glare, he nodded slowly.
���Whatever you say…” he brought his mouth so close to your core that his lips brushed your aching clit. “Princess.”
Before you could react, he grabbed your thighs to keep them apart, licking a stripe up your wet folds and circling his tongue around your clit. You saw stars, your orgasm fastly approaching once again and all he had to do was dive his tongue inside you and press his thumb on your clit before your orgasm came like a crash, making you want to curl in on yourself but you couldn’t even do that because he restrained you, so you only writhed in his hold in pleasure while he made out with your sopping wet cunt.
“Too much,” you tried to stop him. “Let me breathe, Prince.”
“Oh, I’m not done with you,” he told you almost casually. “You have yet to have me inside you.”
“Oh, god,” you breathed. “Please.”
He snickered at that. “Such a slut for me, aren’t you?”
“Only for you,” you looked at him. “Only for you… my King.”
“Oh, no, no,” he shook his head repeatedly. “You did not just say that.”
“King,” you got up to snake your arms around his neck. “My King. You like being called that?”
He did- it was obvious because he crashed his lips against yours, passionately kissing you and drawing back only to take off his undergarment, not even giving you a moment to appreciate the sight before pushing you down and sinking his throbbing cock inside you, though he was gracious enough to be slow with it so you could adjust. Once he was fully inside you, he remained there unmoving, pulling you up by your shoulders to resume your original position when you kissed him. 
You sat on top of him, whispering the title he craved so badly again and again as you exchanged deep, passionate kisses. He called you princess, called you his queen and you returned the favour. His cock twitched inside you and when he couldn’t take it anymore, he pushed you back on the bed and started thrusting into you, your breaths mingling as your bodies rocked against each other. You told him that you were on contraceptives and he was free to mark your walls if he wanted to, and he bit your shoulder in answer, squeezing your nipples as his motions became unsteady and he jerked wildly against you, his warm cum spreading inside you. 
You kept him close, keeping him going and he thrust through his orgasm until you came as well, burying your face in his chest as both your moans mingled and filled the air in the room. When he finally stilled, he collapsed next to you.
“You plan to kill me, don’t you?” 
For a moment, your heart sank and you wondered if a confession had slipped through your mouth in the heat of the moment, or if he had really managed to peek inside your mind. But when he chuckled, you realised he meant it differently.
“Says you,” you smacked his arm and he brought you closer, kissing your forehead, the both of you unable to meet eyes for a moment as you attempted to conceal the truth and the guilt that accompanied it.
—--------------------------------
The Duke of Neverland- Prince Woobin- arrived two days earlier than schedule, setting off a mild frenzy in the castle as preparations to welcome him fell short, guards’ and soldiers’ rotations shifted, more medical staff got stationed in the infirmary and the kitchen-
Well, the kitchen probably got the worst of it. Though dinner went by smoothly, the staff was overworked and while you were passing by, you overheard a funny conversation about how Prince Woobin’s handsomeness and gentle nature made their efforts worth it.
You supposed you could relate to the sentiment- the Prince wasn’t very old but sure was ageing like fine wine. He was the tallest of them and had strong features just like Hongjoong, though Hongjoong was on the prettier side. The Duke was just as clever as he could be, and he was clearly ambitious especially when it came to the throne and its duties.
And… he intended to let the King know.
“Wonderland is unstable right now, brother,” Prince Woobin insisted. “What the other kingdoms need to see is that our royalty won’t collapse and we’ll stay united and put a strong front.”
There. He was definitely on to something.
“You’re right,” the King nodded, sighing deeply. “I will hold the coronation soon- I’d like it if I can see it happen while I’m alive. I know I’m no longer fit to run this kingdom.” 
He wasn’t, and you had made sure of that. You were just waiting for the right timing. You felt sorry that the King wouldn’t see his last wish come true but you were sure he would watch from above. That was something you were going to believe for his sake.
“I don’t mean that you’re not fit,” Prince Woobin squeezed the King’s arm gently. “But your health is not the best, and it’s better to announce the next in line in your life. I know Hongjoong is your son and very capable of running the kingdom, but I still stand by the fact that he’s…”
The King sent his brother an amused look. “You thought the same about me when I was about to ascend the throne. I didn’t do a bad job, and I’m sure Hongjoong won’t either. He will feel very wronged if I pass the throne to you, and you know that. The crown is rightfully his.”
“Think about the people,” the Prince whispered and then cast a wary glance at you but you pretended you really could hear nothing except the scratching of the pen as you noted tonight’s readings. It was too bad that you were done and couldn’t continue to listen to their conversation anymore. With a bow to the two and a reminder to the King to take his morning walk, you left the room. You didn’t notice the Crown Prince around though you shared a wave with his aide. 
To your surprise- or you supposed you should have gotten used to the sight now- the Prince was lying on his stomach on your bed, reading the same comic book that he had been reading in the public library that day with Mingi. You, for some reason you were still wondering about, had one of your acquaintances in the castle purchase those books and anything related to it when they went to town. You kept these books in your room- it wouldn’t be appropriate if the Crown Prince was caught slacking because he stayed up all night laughing over some silly dialogue in those books.
“While you’re here reading about some fourteen year olds fighting over a girl, your uncle is trying to coax the King into passing the throne to him.”
“Nothing new,” Hongjoong muttered, not looking away from the book. “I’ll be having a meeting with him before the ball. What we’ll do next depends on his answer.”
You settled your bag on the chair and went to the vanity to take off your necklace and rings. “Are you going to ask him?”
“No point beating around the bush, but it will be in the presence of my father and others,” Hongjoong looked up momentarily, meeting your eyes through the reflection in the mirror. “If he admits he wants to get crowned, I’ll have to prove that he’s not fit for it.”
“How?” You turned to look at him.
“How do you think?” He asked, “I’m curious to learn how you would handle this.”
“You’re thinking of bringing up the Neverland Accords, aren’t you?” You asked and he nodded, not surprised that you figured it out. “That’s the one thing the Duke regrets doing. The one blemish on his career.”
“It destabilised the western region. By giving in to the demands of the refugees, he gave birth to a group of people with such hatred towards the monarchy that they became rebels. They left their families for the cause. I believe notorious rebel groups like the black pirates or bluebirds who were cooperating with my ancestors became restless because of this agreement.”
So he knew about the bluebirds- everyone who worked in the castle knew for security reasons, but he knew the history and the reasons. A few of them. And he believed that the Neverland Accords, which were about fifteen years old, might be why your rebel group was restless now. You wished you could tell him that it was much older and sinister than that. You wished you could tell him that the Master wasn’t just one person but a network of leaders over time.
And when you caught yourself thinking about this, you almost dropped the comb in your hand. Thankfully, the Prince was too busy reading his book while you tried to form an answer.
“Well… I suppose that might be true,” you managed to say. “I have something we can add to that.”
“And what might that be?”
You let your hair flow freely now, ruffling it a little before you walked towards the bed, the Prince’s hand inviting and prompting you to sit near him. You leaned in and told him your part of the plan in hushed whispers and he looked at you a few times to make sure this wasn’t a joke.
“I told you,” you held his chin in your hand, gaze stuck on his parted lips. “I told you I would kill for you. I came up with something even better instead. No one will suspect the royal physician, Prince.”
“Because you serve the King?”
“Because I serve humanity,” you said, the chuckle that suddenly left your mouth turning into a low laugh and Hongjoong frowned at that- while your plan was nothing short of a genius plan, a quiet voice in his head beckoned him to question how a royal physician- a doctor- was able to scheme like this. 
But for now, your hand casually resting against his thigh as you laughed was distracting. Your red, plump lips were distracting. The books you got him and the key to your room that you gave him were distracting him. The way you accepted who he was- the dark parts and even the sillier ones- that was distracting. 
Hongjoong started sharing that laugh, shaking his head at you. “Now I’m really hoping the Prince begs for the throne.”
“I won’t let anyone look at what’s yours,” you promised him, gladly letting him sit you on his lap, his book long forgotten by his side. “You can count on me.”
“Why are you doing this, y/n?” He wondered, his hands going under your dress to rest on your bare thighs. “What do you get out of this?”
“I told you-”
“Why are you really doing this?” He asked, an almost dangerous glint in his eyes. “Do you want me to crown you too?”
“No,” you sighed. “I couldn’t be less interested in the crown. I’m interested in what you’ll do for my career,” you lied, deciding to add a sprinkle of something honest in there when you said, “And if I can be with you like this without the crown or the heavy title, I’m content. But you must know that I’ve only had this change of heart recently.” 
“You could ask me to crown you and I might do just that,” Hongjoong offered, looking up at you with adoration but you could see that he was calculating behind that facade. 
“Ah, now you’re tempting me,” you smiled slyly. “Does the crown guarantee that you’ll look at me like this every night? That you’ll always fuck me like you actually mean it?”
“I do, though,” he admitted and your smile fell. 
You were aware that Hongjoong only cooperated with you because he obeyed what you told him- to use you as a tool. However… had he caught feelings along the way? Or was this just another of his grand schemes- to have you lower your guard? You were still half sure that he was going to get rid of you once he was crowned, but now he was offering you something that you thought about only in your wildest dreams.
If you grabbed on to this opportunity… if you could be the queen of Wonderland, you would have more power than the Master. You could make better decisions for the bluebirds. You wouldn’t even have to end the monarchy- you could have the Prince agree to your terms. You knew that the Prince wasn’t an unreasonable man and he would understand if you participated in politics actively if you became the queen and he, the king. He would listen to you and probably even give you better advice- he cared for the kingdom to prosper, as did the bluebirds, so…
Did you really have to kill him? You could just rule with him and use him to achieve the bluebirds’ agendas. You could accomplish so, so much-
“Cat got your tongue?” He teased and you shook your head, pushing down the train of thought for now.
“You’re offering a royal physician the burden of the crown. Of course I’m speechless,” you said. “But… heavy is the head that wears the crown.”
“The rubies would suit you, though,” he grinned and you laughed at that. 
“We’ll talk about this when you’re actually the King,” you told him. “For now, I’m content being where I am. I desire power, not the crown. The crown doesn’t necessarily guarantee power.”
“I think you’d make a nice queen, though,” Hongjoong rested his back against the bedpost, getting your hair away from your shoulders to plant sweet kisses along your collarbone. “Though I’d always be worried if you would poison me or use some drug to make me bend to your will.”
“You’re venomous enough as you are,” you scoffed. “All that bitterness inside you will kill you one day. Besides, I don’t need to use a drug to make you get on your knees. You’ve been doing that pretty often anyway.”
Hongjoong gave you a challenging look and you knew what was going to come next. Especially when his hand came to rest around your throat and he used that to get you off his lap and on the floor.
On your knees.
“Let’s change that now, shall we?”
You only smirked in answer, obeying, and while it was pleasurable enough to be on your knees for the future king, the thing he offered you only heightened your drive and made you sure-
That now, even if it was for one day, you wanted the Prince to rule.
And you wanted to be by his side this time.
—-----------------------------
There sure was something in the air tonight. 
Tonight, the Royal Ball took place in the honour of the Duke’s arrival to the castle in the form of a masquerade party. There were many honourable guests from Wonderland and a few from the neighbouring nations as well. The theme was ruby, which you thought was very ironic. You could see red everywhere- in the costumes, in the flowers that decorated the Hall, and in the wine that filled everyone’s glasses. 
The sound of violins and pianos was adorning the air with notes of excitement and vibrancy. The beat of the footsteps of the dancers in the middle of the hall melded along with the music, prompting the audience to synchronise with their claps or their heartbeats. Laughter and chatter flowed freely in the air along with the bubbles from the drinks the waiters and waitresses poured endlessly. The smell of something floral and musky overwhelmed your senses. It was a clash of perfumes, but if you stationed yourself near one of the windows or the tables with refreshment, the earthy smell of the air and the ever-familiar smell of food would wash over a wave of calm over you.
And you kind of needed that right now, because there sure was all of that in the air tonight, but there was also a wave of palpable calculation. Every look and every touch meant something tonight. Every word was said with caution. Every step someone took towards someone else meant something. And sure, this was just how royal events were, but tonight was special.
Tonight, there was an invisible web of deception and lies hovering above the Hall, waiting to trap its prey at the right moment. Though your prey was one- or two, if you were lucky- there could be more who would get caught by the spider. All you had to do was wait.
You watched the spider- the Crown Prince- looking absolutely ravishing in a deep red embellished coat over a black shirt and pants that matched the embroidery on the jacket. Most of his face was concealed by the extravagant black mask that he wore, the red feathers of it creating quite a contrast with his platinum hair that was styled away from his face. He might be unrecognisable at first glance but you could spot him anywhere. He always stood out to you.
Your eyes scanned the crowd again to find the tall Duke who had been attempting to mingle with anyone of importance throughout the whole night. That man was full of energy and the dark part in your heart wished to bathe him in eternal darkness as soon as possible. However, patience was the key. 
You had to keep reminding yourself that- that you had to be patient and that you couldn’t stray from your path no matter how tempting the road might seem. But you couldn’t deny the fact that being physical with Hongjoong and all his offers were making you incredibly selfish and greedy and clouding your judgement. You were confused, and you wished you could meet the Master or even one of the bluebirds to have yourself reminded of why you were doing this, but with each passing day, the final destination started appearing murkier.
For now, though, you just wanted this night to go smoothly. You got busy when some of the royal physicians from the Duke’s court found you, and your chat with them was quite interesting. However, you kept stealing glances at the Prince. He was now on the floor dancing with someone in an overly fluffy bright red dress and it left the sour taste of jealousy in your mouth. You decided to take a chance and joined hands with the first available partner on the dance floor who introduced himself as one of the Duke’s men. 
You rotated around the dance floor and switched partners twice before you found yourself in Hongjoong’s arms. The smirk he had on his lips made your knees feel weak.
“Couldn’t stay away from me, could you?” He asked, twirling you around once. “I could feel your eyes on me all night long, darling.”
“Can’t resist you,” you teased, bringing your hand closer to his neck than was necessary considering you were dancing. “You’ve been enjoying mingling too much without me.”
“Well, it’s a risky move but since everyone’s so busy dancing, you can get away with it,” Hongjoong told you, glancing at the upper section of the Hall where the King sat with a few of his friends. “However… I can’t wait to take this pretty dress off. You have no idea how irresistible you look tonight, love.”
You smiled at that- you had made a little more effort dressing up tonight than usual. The black silk dress might be plain but it hugged your curves in just the right way. There was a slit in the leg and you were wearing maroon heels, one of them with a matching ribbon that was tied up and around your leg in an intricate pattern, the bow situated right below the slit of the dress. You wore a red mask that covered half your face and extended towards your other eye as well. 
“You look quite charming too,” you said. “Red really is your colour.”
“Red looks like your colour,” the Prince said, pointing his eyes in the direction of the red ruby earrings you were wearing- a gift from the Prince himself for tonight. “I told you- the rubies suit you.”
Before you could respond to that, he squeezed your waist before rotating to switch partners once again, and you were left with those words playing in your head for the rest of the night- but you didn’t have to wait long. As soon as the dances ended and everyone started drinking or leaving for the night, you caught the Prince nodding at you before exiting the Hall and you started following him through the very empty corridors, making sure no one would catch you together.
You saw him go inside one of the abandoned rooms you had used in your early days to meet up and when you went inside and shut the door, Hongjoong was on you in a moment, cupping your masked face and kissing the exposed part of your lips which had to be a struggle because when he drew back, he had your red lipstick smeared across his own lips.
And the sight of that made you physically weak but Hongjoong was quick to hold you with a laugh.
“Already on your knees for me?” He commented and you smacked his chest, taking off your mask and his so you could finally kiss him properly. You broke apart for air and rested your head on his shoulder.
“It’s been a while.”
It had been about five days. The first three days got you anxious enough to want to contact his aide to see if the Prince really was busy or just avoiding you, but then he had the rubies delivered to your room. You wore them that night and looked at your reflection for the longest time, wondering how you would look in a matching crown.
“Yeah, it has been,” Hongjoong said, sweetly kissing your temple and then lifting your face by your chin to kiss you again, his tongue sliding in at the first opportunity. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he pushed you against the door, his hand going to grab your thigh and bringing it up so he could press himself to you, lazily playing with the ribbon wound around it.
You broke apart for air, brushing your noses teasingly. “Missed me?”
“Oh, yes,” he said, “I have quite a few updates.”
“And so have I,” you grinned. “You first?”
“Well,” Hongjoong began, his hand on your thigh travelling to the inner side, drawing your panties away to slide his fingers along your wet folds. “The meeting was a success for me. Prince Woobin admitted he would like my crown, and my court was not happy with it. I brought up the Neverland Accords and that made him lose his temper. Good thing the King witnessed that.”
“Ah, that’s good,” you said, which came out more as a moan when he slipped a digit inside you, rubbing your clit in slow strokes with his thumb. “Is that why he’s been trying so hard to get in everyone’s good graces tonight?”
Hongjoong took a moment to respond, too busy trailing kisses down your neck and along your shoulders, drawing the straps of the half-sleeve dress away. “Surely. He has no idea what’s coming for him.”
“About that,” you rocked your hips against his hand when he inserted another finger inside, resting your head back against the door. “The King mentioned something about his father’s illness being similar to his own. I took the opportunity to tell him about ruby.”
“What do you mean?” Hongjoong paused and you gave him a warning look, prompting him to continue thrusting his fingers inside you.
“I mean,” you breathed, curling into his body when you could feel the familiar buildup of an orgasm. “I tricked him. I told him that I was instructed to use an opium compound by the Duke’s royal physicians- which is true, by the way, I discussed the medical side of it with him in the earlier days- ah.”
Hongjoong smirked when you squeezed your eyes shut as he slowed his pace. He was playing with you and it always drove you mad and he loved seeing you in that state.
“So I told him that I was suspicious about ruby and requested the Prince- you- to let me access the private library so I could check if this was the right drug to use. And then I- Hongjoong!”
You moaned loudly when he pressed your clit, the orgasm crashing over you suddenly and with a force that had you gripping at him for dear life. Hongjoong helped you recover from it, rubbing your clit in slow circles and caressing your cheek as you shuddered before he picked you up in his arms and brought you to the couch, looking up at you.
“Say that again.”
“What?”
“Say my name,” he commanded and you brought your face next to his to whisper his name in his ear. He groaned at that, making quick work of unfastening his belt and you barely had time- and the strength- to take off your panties before he had you sit on his hard cock, easily sliding in.
“Now talk.”
You gave him a look, your walls clenching around him at the way he ordered you and he scoffed. “Uh… where was I?”
“Library.”
“Right,” you tried moving but he gripped your hips, making you sit still and you gave up. “So I told him that I found something suspicious in the library which is making me suspect that Prince Woobin had a hand in the late King’s death. Because it was Prince Woobin’s royal physician who was aware of this opium compound, who also happens to be the mentee of the Late King’s dead doctor.”
“Ah…” Hongjoong nodded. “So my father knows that I’m aware of this?”
“I told him that I’ve addressed my suspicions to you and you’re investigating the matter.”
“So when I finally tell him that I’m suspecting the Duke-”
“He will believe you because he’s already heard from me, and I’m his doctor,” you grinned. “I can’t be lying to him about this- and I’ve been lowering his dose slowly anyway so he thinks that I’m trying to get him off this medication without adverse effects.”
“And why are you lowering it? I thought you were going to kill him with ruby?”
“I found a better alternative,” you smirked. “One that would make it look more natural than ruby. And do you know what I call it?”
“What?”
“Silver Light,” you kissed the top of his head. “Like the colour of your hair.”
Hongjoong laughed at that, shaking his head and gladly meeting your lips in a kiss that quickly got heated and prompted him to thrust his cock inside you deeply and you quickly returned the sentiment, bouncing on top of him and matching his energy.
“You’re insane,” he told you, sucking at your bottom lip. “With this, the Duke will finally be out of my way.”
“What about the Duke of Mist- Prince Woojin?” You asked, tugging at his hair which always turned him on.
“An accomplice, maybe,” Hongjoong breathed and you knew he was close. “He’ll be exiled but only after he watches his brother get executed.”
“How fun,” you licked a spot on his neck before kissing there. “Calls for a feast.”
“Oh, I’ll have one right here,” Hongjoong looked down at your joined cores, rolling his hips along yours. “Say my name, princess.”
You were so close. You joined your foreheads as he took control of the pace and you called his name in soft whispers again and again until he was spilling inside you, until his warmth covered you and made you become undone in his arms once again.
And when the two of you laughed maniacally, you decided it.
You were not going to give him up. Not like this- not like the Master wanted you to.
You would take your sweet time. You would have him satisfy your desire like this for as long as he was under your control. You would have him fill you up, have him mark your skin just like he was doing now, have him call you princess, or queen, or whatever the fuck he wanted to. You would wear the ruby crown he loved so much. You would sit on his lap while he sat on the throne.
You only hoped the tugging at your heart was for the desire for all of that instead of the desire to be looked at with love.
—--------------------------------
The past week had been nothing short of eventful and chaotic, to put it simply.
With the King suspecting his brother which bled in his interactions, making the Duke wonder if the King had made up his mind to crown his son, he started trying to reason with the King. His method was the same as Hongjoong’s- to dig up dirt on the Prince and tell the King of his shortcomings. However, the Duke was not aware that he was being suspected of treason, and there was no bigger sin than treason for the King. How could a son kill his own father? 
The King found himself thinking about the reason a lot. He mentioned it when you slipped verita into his drug. He asked you if it was common for a child to kill his parents.
“Unheard of,” you told him. “Depends on the circumstances, I guess. When you have power, you’ll be targeted by anyone and everyone- it wouldn’t matter if they’re blood relations.”
“Sometimes I wish I was a farmer,” the King laughed in disappointment. “I could have lived a good life.”
“They have their own set of troubles,” you told him. “They worry about how to feed their wife and kids. They worry about having too many mouths to feed but then find themselves with even more. And then they do worse things than kill their children and live with the guilt.”
“What’s worse than death?”
“I guess you’ll know soon,” you shrugged and he passed you a side-eye. “If your brother really had a hand in your father’s death… whatever you do next would make you think back to this moment.”
The grief the King felt was clear, and it became even worse when Hongjoong, as per his father’s request, finally concluded the investigation and found the Duke of Neverland, Prince Woobin, guilty of the late King’s murder with the Duke of Mist, Prince Woojin, a suspected accomplice. 
Tonight, Prince Woobin was going to get hanged in the square within the castle walls. The kingdom was in an uproar with his supporters crowding the streets and making home outside the castle walls. Many believed he was being wronged because apart from the Neverland Accords, his career had been pretty remarkable. If you were objective, he was probably fit to run this kingdom too. Prince Hongjoong might be a skilled leader but he still lacked a few important qualities that the people wanted in their future king, such as empathy. You weren’t one to say though, when you had orchestrated this whole plan.
The Duke of Mist Island, Prince Woojin, was choosing to remain silent. It was probably because if he spoke in the favour of Prince Woobin, the suspicions of him being an accomplice would sound true. While the kingdom was outraged, the current king and prince weren’t void of supporters. By choosing to remain silent, he would only get exiled until proven guilty or innocent. He had to think of himself.
One thing was clear to everyone, though. The monarchy was falling apart and it was causing a palpable sense of restlessness. The King’s health was declining at a rapid rate now and his heart was weaker- it was grief that was doing your job for you. Prince Hongjoong was trying his best to keep things calm and so far, he had it under control. It looked like he would soon earn the favour of the majority with his uncles out of the picture. The people had no other choice.
You were stationed at the King’s side, next to his retired aide- an old man who came to be with the King at this difficult moment. You needed to be here in case the King suddenly felt unwell- after all, he was going to witness his little brother get executed.
Hongjoong was seated on the other side and every time that he glanced at the King to make sure if he was alright, he would meet your eyes. You exchanged no signals, though. Tonight, you had hundreds of eyes trained on you. If anyone caught you sharing eye contact, they would simply think the Prince was worried about his father and was making sure that the doctor was alert. If he was doing this consciously, you had to commend his acting.
Prince Woobin’s face was covered with a black cloth as he entered the square, being walked by the guards who held his chained arms. You looked across the square to find his royal physician whose licence was revoked for medical negligence on the basis that he was aware of ruby’s effects- and possibly, how it was used for the murder of the late King. The fact that he had done nothing about it and encouraged you to use it instead made his position worse. You talked to the King and told him that revoking his licence was enough since nobody could have guessed that ruby was dangerous without referring to the royal archives in the private library. 
The guards made Prince Woobin kneel in front of the King, though a level and quite a distance separated the brothers. His mask was taken off, revealing the Duke in a ghastly state. His eyes were sunken though they harboured pure hatred for the people who were wrongly blaming him. The fire burning from the torch illuminated one side of his face, casting deep shadows on the other.
“Your Majesty!” Prince Woobin’s voice boomed through the area, earning startled gasps from the crowd. “Brother dear! I urge you to reconsider and reinvestigate.”
The King sighed deeply. “All the evidence points to you. You plotted to kill me the same way you killed my father.”
“He was my father too, and I would never do that. I may have been after the crown since long ago, but it was never my intention to get my hands bloody along the way. I’m not like this, and you know that.”
“Do I?” The King asked himself, ignoring his brother’s plea of innocence. 
Hongjoong got up this time and his uncle looked at him with such distaste in his eyes that you almost got worried. “Your services to the Kingdom of Wonderland are appreciated. However, you are guilty of treason and murder of the late King, an unforgivable act. We must set an example, however much it pains us.”
Prince Woobin only scoffed in response and spat on the ground, causing the crowd to shift uncomfortably. Prince Hongjoong, however, remained unfazed. 
“Any last words?”
“Yes,” the Duke stood up, standing tall in front of everyone. “You will regret this. Tonight marks the beginning of the end.”
The King rested his head in his hands, overcome with emotions and you asked him if he was feeling alright, even though it was obvious that he was not. You looked at Hongjoong and he stood in front of his father, blocking his view.
“I- I can’t watch this,” the King wiped his eyes.
“It has to happen in your presence- you know the rules,” Prince Hongjoong rubbed his father’s back. “I’ll cover you.”
Prince Hongjoong signalled the executioners to begin and the crowd fell eerily silent as the Duke was led to the gallows. The air felt grim and the Duke’s footsteps were heavy. Though he looked pale when his gaze settled on the blade that was to decapitate his head, he settled on the lunette with a sense of resignation and finality. 
The executioner’s words went over your head. All you could see and hear was red. Red for lies, red for deception and red for death. The blade’s drop was swift and silent but whatever sound it made was masked by the fear and warning delivered as a message through this execution.
The King left immediately after and you followed after him, sharing one last look with Hongjoong whose head was held higher than ever. Perhaps, the burden of the crown was starting to feel lighter on his head. You wished you could kiss his head at that moment and tell him that it was going to get easier from here.
However, it looked like you did not need to. That night, when you went to find the Prince in one of the abandoned rooms, you found them empty. Wondering if he was in your room- or his own room- you started going back towards the residential area but the faint sound of music caught your attention. If it had been any other day, you would have ignored it but something prompted you to investigate.
In one of the storage rooms that held old musical instruments, the room that was once an active class, was the Crown Prince shaking his arms in the air like a maestro, playing an invisible instrument to the music blasting off the gramophone. You remained frozen in the doorway, watching him dance like a maniac to whatever was going on in his head. His movements quickened as the music reached the crescendo and they both crashed down in harmony with the Prince twirling and laughing loudly to himself.
Was he that happy? Was he this pleased now that he was sure that he would be ascending the throne? Strangely enough, the words of your Master started feeling substantial. He wasn’t wrong when he told you why the Crown Prince wasn’t fit for the crown, and you were only realising it now in its full weightage.
The Crown Prince was a madman, blinded by the desire for power and nothing else. He would do anything to have his way. He was celebrating being one step closer to the throne even though the path was marred by blood now. Did he really think you were his equal? Of course not, he was a royal. But did he think you were someone significant in his life now that things were shifting between you two, or had he taken your words too seriously? Were you still just a tool to him? And would he use you even if it meant he had to crown you?
You decided to leave him be for the night, going back to your room to send a message to the Master and make preparations for the final hurdle-
The King.
—--------------------------
If you were honest, you had imagined the Prince choking you far too many times. 
You imagined it would be a result of a spontaneous sequence of events- perhaps, while he kissed you and his hand went around your neck instead of cupping the side like he usually did, he would realise you might have a thing for getting choked. Maybe he would even hear you moan in response and look in your eyes to confirm if you liked it.
Or perhaps, it could be a consequence of a heated moment, such as him on top of you and thrusting relentlessly into you, recognising that you were inches away from an orgasm, and right when your body would arch and jerk as it crashed over you, he would squeeze the sides of your neck to heighten it further. You thought he would make you see stars or something even better.
However, being pinned to the wall by both his hands around your neck, his thumbs pressing your larynx threateningly and making you physically choke in pain was not it. His eyes bore into yours, dripping with venom and you tried smacking his hands away but it didn’t work.
“Did you do it?”
You stopped struggling for a moment, confused, before your features softened. Hongjoong watched with a frown but when he heard your raspy chuckle, he gave you a warning look but your laugh only got louder, making you cough because of his hold on your neck.
“You’re welcome… Your Majesty.”
It had been only a few days since the Duke’s execution. The King was having a hard time coming to terms with his brother’s blood on his hands. He may have bought your lies when you insisted that the Duke had a hand in the late King’s death, but he must have been suspecting tampering of evidence or something worse since he actually got out of his room and went to the private library to conduct his own investigation.
You had luckily lowered the ruby dosage to the minimum and the King was aware that you couldn’t have replaced it with something right away- it might have caused some side-effects. While the King did not suspect you, only commending you for caring about his health, his son received the scepticism in your stead. The King was beginning to feel more wary of Hongjoong and it was becoming obvious to everyone around them. It didn’t help that Hongjoong was doing absolutely nothing to help his case. 
You had successfully completed the first part of your mission, but there was no word from the Master. Had bluebirds abandoned you? All you needed was a signal to proceed with the rest of the plan. Could it be that they somehow peeked inside your heart and discovered the true motives behind why you were cooperating with them? 
You were anxious, and that was not good. It didn’t help that the Prince was incredibly busy now that Prince Woobin’s post as the Duke of Neverland was empty. The Duke of Mist had just negotiated for his life and the King had stopped Hongjoong from taking any further steps related to that matter for the time being. It was getting messier and you were realising that the Prince’s besetting sin might be his emotions and unquenchable thirst for more. While he was fully capable of making rational decisions and was doing his best to appear innocent, he could not hide how much fun he was having handling the matters that were once handled by the late Duke.
And the King may be old and ill, but he was not blind. He suspected Hongjoong, and while he was not stupid, he was too trusting of those around him and that led him to ask you what you thought about the situation. You were thrown off by the question.
“I feel like I’ve made a mistake. It’s weighing on my heart and it will take my life sooner than expected.”
“But why do you feel so?” You asked. “I know that the registers were not substantial evidence but the circumstances…”
“I know,” he nodded. “It seems odd that the royal physician was aware of ruby’s role in my father’s death yet remained shut. I wonder why. Could he have a hand in wrongly accusing Woobin?”
It was then that you realised- Prince Woobin’s physician might have been a member of the bluebirds too. That made more sense than the doctor knowing ruby’s effects and letting them slide when you consulted him for the King- no doctor’s moral code would allow that. 
“But if you think Prince Woobin was innocent and the doctor acted on his own, that would mean he’s serving someone else.”
“Yeah, well,” the King shrugged. “Wouldn’t put past my son to have a hand in it. He’s been far too giddy ever since he got that thorn out of his side.”
You stifled a smile at that. “Isn’t he simply carrying out his duties?”
“Yes, that’s true. But he doesn’t have to look happy about it, does he? Even if I’m wrong and he’s simply doing his job…” the King faltered, coughing violently and you passed him a handkerchief. He wiped his mouth, smearing the piece of cloth with blood. “I can only imagine how happy he will be when I finally die.”
“He’s still your son,” you chided gently. “You’re his father. You can confront him about this if it’s bothering you so much, Your Majesty. This is clearly taking a toll on your health- I should look for other drugs-”
“No,” the King shook his head. “No more drugs. That’s enough. My time is near and I should not run away.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” you pleaded. “But you don’t have to be in pain as you walk towards your inevitable death. Painkillers?”
The King chuckled at that. “You’re a brilliant doctor, y/n. I hope Hongjoong takes good care of you after I’m gone.”
Somehow, that sentence stuck with you for all the reasons and more. The King was the one person who had treated you like an actual human despite his position of power and authority. You had always found yourself comparing him to the Master- another person with power and authority yet no regard for his subjects. While the King had always patted your shoulder with affection, the Master had only ever touched you with a stick- the marks of which you still bore on your skin. While the King always encouraged you to make leaps in the medicinal field and use him as your ‘test subject’ which was an inside joke amongst all the doctors in the castle now, the Master had only ever criticised you.
Would it be so bad if you let the King live? Or were you doing him a favour by killing him? He would die a painless death and wouldn’t witness the doom of his empire. One death had already cost him a great deal- he surely couldn’t take more. Hongjoong wanted him to live a little longer and hand him the crown with his own hands before he passed on, but no matter how much you tried to convince Hongjoong that the King couldn’t live long, his pride wouldn’t let him admit that the King would never willingly crown him. It was why he urged you to look after him as best as you could and why he was so enthusiastic with his work lately. He had something to prove now.
And it was why, ultimately, you decided to let the King rest. He did not need to dig any deeper and find out that his own son and his royal physician had orchestrated this plan. He did not need to be in agony anymore. You slipped the silver light in his medicine and he took it unsuspectingly. You squeezed his wrist in silent gratitude for all he had done for you- from his heart. And then you went to your room and waited to hear the news.
It was too bad that the Prince himself had to be the one who delivered the news to you- 
“Did you do it?”
“You’re welcome… Your Majesty,” you said, finally getting him to let go of your neck. You glared at him as you rubbed your neck in an attempt to soothe the burning sensation. “Didn’t think you’d be so ecstatic to hear that.”
Hongjoong stared at you, for the first time feeling something resembling fear in his heart- the future looked uncertain and for once, the look in your eyes made him shiver. Hongjoong was realising how perhaps he, too, was at your mercy. You wanted him to take over the throne so you sped up the process for him, getting rid of his uncles and now his father. All for what? For the throne that was his anyway? And you didn’t even want to be queen until he suggested it- just why-
“The King died of ‘grief’, but really, it’s the silver light’s doing,” you told him, taking a few steps to close the distance between you two, placing a hand on his shoulder, your eyes scanning his face. “It’s too bad he couldn’t crown you with his own hands, but that’s okay. All that matters is that he’s gone and he didn’t discover the truth about your role in Prince Woobin’s death. We did it, Hongjoong. You did it.”
He did it. He trusted the wrong person and messed everything up. Sure, the fact that he was now the King made him ecstatic, but there was still something that bothered him-
And that was you.
You were unpredictable and dangerous. And he couldn’t have someone like that by his side in the long run. He could not continue dallying with you anymore.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” you urged him, planting soft kisses around his mouth and on the tip of his nose. “You don’t think I did something wrong, do you?”
“Of course not,” Hongjoong kissed your lips. “I just wanted to make sure if it really was you. Did I scare you?”
You shook your head despite the air being heavy with lies. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Hongjoong scoffed at that, looking down as he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief and pretending that your words did not feel like a stab in his back. “I’m just a little bummed that you didn’t tell me.”
“It was a… spur-of-the-moment decision,” you ran your hands across the silky material of his cream shirt. “But all’s well that ends well, isn’t that so?”
Hongjoong nodded. “They’ve taken him away- the funeral will be the day after tomorrow so Prince Woojin can attend.”
“Ah, he’s still here, huh?” You clicked your tongue. “Anything I can help with?”
“Oh, I’ve got that handled,” he assured you, caressing your cheek. “Now… can we stop talking and stop acting? Didn’t you say something about how you couldn’t wait until I got the title so you could say you fucked the King?”
You laughed at that, the two of you leaning in for a kiss that soon turned heated, resulting in discarded clothes on the floor. Hongjoong was rough with you tonight, feeling lightheaded with the weight of the new title on his head. It didn’t help that you kept teasing him, calling him the King or Your Majesty Hongjoong. Despite the gravity of the situation, it turned him on so damn much and he realised that he really was mad. But he couldn’t stop. 
He couldn’t stop until he fucked you hard, taking you from behind and making you become undone on his cock over and over again. He snaked his hand back on your neck as you reached your high, this time to crane your face towards him so he could see you. You locked eyes with him, his silver hair matted on his forehead and a sheen of sweat making his skin glisten. This time, he choked you the proper way right when you came.
You actually saw stars this time. You didn’t mind that he treated you like a ragdoll tonight, probably pouring all his frustrations, grief and anxiety into you. You didn’t mind that he used you like a tool, spanking you whenever you so much as looked at him the wrong way and making you rock on his hips or fingers even though you were an oversensitive bundle of nerves. 
For tonight, you were his and he was yours. You had him wrapped around your fingers and even though he was the one who wielded power and dominance over you, it was ultimately you who moved his strings and controlled his actions. You could only wish that he would remain ignorant for as long as possible. After all, it would be too much of a shame if you couldn’t be like this for just a while.
Hongjoong stopped thrusting his cum inside you, resting his forehead against your bare shoulder and catching his breath, sliding out moments later and watching the leaking cum out of you with an amused look. You smacked his arm and he scooted away so you could bundle the sheets around yourself as you lay next to him, tangling your limbs.
“This is it,” you whispered, kissing his chest. “This is where you’re meant to be.”
Hongjoong kissed the top of your head in answer and you thought his touch felt distant and cold but your mind was too hazy to make sense of it.
For now, you were in the King’s arms. And you were already planning how to make it an everyday ritual.
—------------------------------
Today, the Master’s big plan for the Kingdom of Wonderland was finally going to come to an epic conclusion- Prince Hongjoong was going to get crowned king and he was finally going to ascend the throne. Granted, the path had been rocky and bloody but he finally made it. 
You would be his royal physician now, and no one else’s. And oh, the sight of the empty seat next to his that was once the queen’s was bubbling desire in you for something that was not- or should not be- yours. You were just a piece in the Master’s plan and you becoming the queen was not a part of his scheme.
But you were tired of obeying the faceless Master when there was no guarantee that you would live to see the next day- or even the next moment. The bluebirds were everywhere. They could end you just as easily as you had ended the King. They were cooks, soldiers, doctors, guards and assassins. They sat at every post in the castle and you wouldn’t be surprised if the Master was prowling somewhere around here- especially today. He had to be present to see the scheme of his forefathers about to conclude. 
And you were wondering if it would be too bad if you made some alterations to the Master’s plan. If he had one of the bluebirds sit on the throne, he wouldn’t need to end the monarchy to have the kingdom flourish, would he? He could just have them manipulate the royals and make a puppet out of Hongjoong. And it wouldn’t be too bad if you were the one who sat on the throne, right?
“We should do something about the queen’s empty throne, huh?” 
You almost jumped at the sudden intrusion, looking behind to see Hongjoong’s aide, Mingi, walking towards you to stand beside you. The Hall wasn’t empty but the workers had been silently making arrangements and you had just stopped on your way to your room to get a look at how the preparations were going. 
Mingi was dressed in his official uniform, a number of badges and emblems on the ruby red coat. He smiled at you, continuing. “You’re thinking the King would need someone by his side, aren’t you?”
“I was just reminiscing,” you lied smoothly. “It seems like just yesterday that the late King and Queen sat here proudly and the Hall was full of life.”
“Ah,” Mingi nodded in understanding. “It’s been… a bit sad afterwards, hasn’t it? The King… the grief really clung to him.”
“I sometimes wonder if there’s no cure for grief,” you sighed. “If the loss of his wife wasn’t enough-”
“His brothers,” Mingi nodded. “It’s truly a shame. Prince Woojin has arrived for the coronation but he isn’t too pleased to be here.”
“He’s going to get exiled from his homeland, so I can understand why,” you said and he agreed. The two of you looked at the empty seats for a while before you said you had to get ready for the event and you parted ways. You went to your room to change into a ruby red gown, wearing the earrings Hongjoong had gifted you and tying your hair back. And right after, you went to sit by the window to take a breather.
The sky was clear today, and you wished Hongjoong’s intentions would be too. You couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was amiss from the night that he pounced on you, suspecting that you killed the King. Yes, you had without letting him know beforehand, but he knew this was inevitable. And you had done him a favour because the King was almost on to him, but Hongjoong just had to be an ungrateful fool. It truly was a shame.
A knock sounded on the door and you opened it to reveal one of Hongjoong’s guards, asking you to accompany him to the royal chambers. You got worried for a moment, wondering if there was a medical emergency but the guard assured you that the Crown Prince just needed to talk to you about something so you followed without the medical kit. Mingi let you in and left, saying he had some matters to attend to. You looked around, finding the chambers awfully empty now that the King was gone and none of his staff was present. You knocked on Hongjoong’s room and he hummed in answer so you let yourself in.
“I see you’re already struggling with the burden of being the King,” you commented, watching him struggle with the robe unceremoniously. “Where’re your maids?”
“I don’t like being dressed by them,” he muttered. “Help me?”
You softly chuckled, standing in front of him between the mirror to fasten the clips to his jacket and then you straightened his clothes. “You only like my hands on you, don’t you?”
“Maybe,” Hongjoong smirked, watching you with a fondness that made you question if you had been wrong to suspect him. “I just wanted to see you before the coronation.”
“Someone’s finally feeling emotional, huh?” You teased and he laughed at that, resting his hands on your hips. “How does it feel to finally be the King of Wonderland, Your Majesty?”
“It hasn’t happened yet,” he raised a brow but you tsk-ed.
“That’s just formality, the event. You are the King. And I’m glad to be here with you right now,” you told him- you really were happy for him, from the bottom of your heart. “All those library sessions finally earned us the crown.”
Hongjoong nodded, not commenting on how you used the term ‘us’. As if the crown belonged to you too. He supposed you had the right to feel like that after being his sword and his shield. 
“Can you come see me after the coronation, in the music room?” Hongjoong asked, gently cupping your face with one hand. “I’d like to give you something.”
“Really?” You asked, searching his eyes for an answer but finding nothing. You felt your heart thump with excitement at the prospect of what this could entail. The silly voice in your head told you that maybe he really was going to crown you or at least make a promise.
“Okay,” you nodded, kissing his palm. “I’ll be there.”
Hongjoong smiled at that and leaned in to kiss you, deep and passionate like none of the kisses you had ever received from him before. Your back arched as you wrapped your arms around his neck and melted into the kiss, his arm around your back bringing you closer. You kissed for a long time before he broke apart and you laughed a little, telling him that you should be going to mark your attendance at the Hall. Hongjoong let you go with a final kiss to the top of your head, promising to see you later.
You had to admit that you were confused by the sudden change in his behaviour, but maybe he had been a bit cold towards you for the past couple of days because of the stress. The Prince had always been a moody man but that didn’t mean that you weren’t hyper-aware of everything he said to you or the way he acted towards you ever since you got rid of the King. If there was one thing you had realised the past few months, it was that you were on your own. The Master wasn’t going to take care of you or protect you if you messed up. The Prince would always protect his crown first before and he would gladly frame you if he ever felt threatened. You were aware of that, and as much as you desired the Crown Prince, his power, and perhaps, the seat next to his, you weren’t going to be unprepared.
When you went to the Hall, you were greeted by many. You had been the King’s royal physician and his confidante of sorts, especially after his aide retired. Tonight, you were going to honour him by lighting the torch that marked the King’s absence before the coronation would begin. The late Queen’s torch would be lit by Prince Woojin, the Duke of Mist Island.
There was a murmur spreading throughout the Hall as Prince Woojin entered, clad not in the official red but black- for mourning. He hadn’t been staying at the castle ever since he arrived for the Duke’s execution and just when he was about to leave the Capital, he heard the news of the King and came to attend the funeral, extending his stay a few more days as per Hongjoong’s request. He joined you at the front row, a few empty seats away from you but you got up and greeted him, just like you would have greeted the late King.
“Have you been well?” Prince Woojin asked. “I heard that you were quite close to my brother.”
You sighed deeply. “I’m alright, thank you for asking. I hope you’ve been well too.”
Prince Woojin shrugged in answer. As the youngest of the three, he was quite the oddball of the family, lacking any desire for the throne since the beginning and keeping to governing the northern region of Wonderland where the islands were located, collectively referred to as the Mist Islands. Unlike the other Duke, he never argued about the policies either, only following the late King’s orders. You supposed there were people in this world who weren’t born with the innate desire for power after all. Prince Woojin was a living example of that.
“Do you think I should start packing up after the coronation?” Prince Woojin asked, surprising you. “I’ve heard rumours that I’m going to be exiled. As if living on Mist Islands isn’t an exile itself.” 
You frowned- you weren’t surprised that he had heard that, but why did he ask you? Was this just small talk or was he on to something? “Did you never want to rule the islands, Your Highness?”
“It’s not that,” he chuckled. “But it’s quite a trip from here, isn’t it? I just wish I had seen my brother more often when he was alive.”
“Well… Prince Woobin did,” you shrugged, and Prince Woojin heard the rest of the sentence even though you didn’t say it out loud. Look where that got him.
“For a long time, I’ve thought that whoever sets their eyes on the throne is doomed,” Prince Woojin said and you listened to his words carefully. “For a while now, the position has birthed tragic endings. Woobin’s death has only strengthened my belief. Even if I was offered the position, I wouldn’t take it.”
You made an impressed face, nodding at the man who looked older than his brothers despite being in his late forties. “You’re very wise, Prince Woojin-”
“Do you covet the throne, my dear?” Prince Woojin looked at you and your mouth parted in surprise at his observation- or guess. Whatever it was. 
“I… don’t, really,” you admitted, looking towards the empty seats. “I guess I covet power and control. For at least once in my life, I would like to be free to make my own decisions and have no one influence my path.”
“Let me tell you something,” he leaned towards you, just as the doors opened revealing the Crown Prince. “You don’t need to sit there to have power or control over your life. That is a cage that looks like salvation, and once you take the crown, there’s no going back. You’re trapped until death. You’ll be controlled by forces you can’t even see. At least right now, you’ll have what? One? Two people influencing your life?”
You glanced at Hongjoong who narrowed his eyes when he saw the two of you conversing. Turning your attention to the Duke, you nodded. “You’re right. It really is a cage, isn’t it?”
Prince Woojin smiled, slumping back and nodding. He looked at where his nephew was, who was being marched towards the throne with Mingi by his side. You and Prince Woojin stood up and the rest followed. You went towards the torches in the middle of the room, standing in front of each other. One of the servants brought a candle to you and you lit the King’s torch first, locking eyes with Prince Woojin. He smiled at you, taking the candle from your hand before lighting the Queen’s torch. After the fire from them rose to a certain height, you both turned towards Hongjoong who was waiting for the signal at the end of the room. He bowed back and turned to receive the crown.
“The lone survivor,” Prince Woojin commented. “For how long, I wonder.”
Your heart sank at his words and you slowly turned to face him. It couldn’t be, could it? Prince Woojin only smiled knowingly at you and then applause sounded across the room, with a chorus of ‘Long Live His Majesty King Hongjoong!’ sounding across the room. While he looked magnificent in the crown, you were left pondering over the Duke’s question.
For how long?
When things got a bit busy, you made one last attempt to tie your fate to Hongjoong’s. You went to your room and wrote a letter, tucking it under the bed like you always did. And then you went to the music room to wait for the new king. You were starting to feel a sense of finality washing over you and to cope with what was surely coming, you started to press your fingers to the piano, the movements feeling foreign but strangely intimate- as if the notes meant to comfort you and pass you silent assurances.
You supposed that was the reason why, when the King finally entered the room with a guarded look on his face and two soldiers by his side, you weren’t surprised. You only scoffed in mock amusement, shaking your head.
“Doctor y/n, royal physician to the late King,” King Hongjoong announced. “You are under arrest for the murder of the late King.”
You let out a short laugh which soon turned maniacal and Hongjoong signalled the guards to give you both some privacy. They went to stand outside the room though the door was kept open.
“You’ll regret this, oh, you will,” you said when you finally got up, taking off the ruby earrings. “This will be the moment you will look back to soon.”
Hongjoong only smiled in answer. “You’re a threat to me as you were to the King. I can’t have you prowling around, you must understand.”
“Of course,” you walked to him and took his hand, slamming the earrings on his palm and curling his fingers over it. “The crown suits you, Hongjoong. Make the most of it while you can.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” He raised a brow. 
You smiled, leaning in to whisper something in his ear, making him freeze. You kissed his cheek before drawing away, getting one good look at all that glory, memorising the face of the person you had crowned, the eyes that had betrayed you long ago, the lips that had always served as a distraction to make you blind to what had been brewing in his mind all along, and then at his hands that had led you to your doom. Before he could stop you, you walked past him and surrendered yourselves to the soldier, mockingly bowing at him.
Even though you could taste your tears, your lips were curved in a smile. You may have doomed yourself but-
You would not be alone. 
You had tied your fate to Hongjoong’s long ago. Your paths had been intertwined since the beginning and would remain so.
You had heard from the Master once- that it takes a monster to destroy another monster. Perhaps, you took his words literally- you became a monster just so you could take another down. You did not regret one bit of it.
—--------------------------
You had watched many executions take place in the square. You had watched the recent execution of the Duke beside Hongjoong.
However, you did not imagine you would be watching the very empty throne from the square, on your knees with your hands tied in front of you- still with Hongjoong beside you, in a similar state.
“Quite a view from up here, isn’t it?” You commented. “Bet the Duke was too infuriated to admire it when it was his time.”
Hongjoong didn’t reply, looking at the rope that was wound around his hands and then back at the throne that he had sat on for barely a day. He clicked his tongue in anger when he spotted Prince Woojin. He didn’t sit on the throne but went to stand at the edge to watch.
This time, the square was empty save for the two of you. No one needed to witness this ugly conclusion, you supposed. It was just a few officials from the castle and-
Mingi. Watching you from the shadows and motioning with his finger towards the opposite direction-
At Prince Woojin. You frowned in confusion but then he crossed his heart and then his wrist, and understanding washed over you. 
Mingi was a bluebird, and so was Prince Woojin. You realised then that your doom had been inevitable. You were meant to die with Hongjoong from the very beginning. Mingi had made sure that happened, and Prince Woojin, who had to be one of the masterminds, had tricked you into planting the letter under your bed. The letter confirmed that Hongjoong had ordered you to kill the King and had fabricated the evidence to get the Duke executed for a crime he did not commit. That way, they had an official confession to get you both arrested and ready for trial. 
But… Prince Woojin had to be someone who worked closely with the Master who had trained you. The Master had to be present today- you looked around, finding some familiar faces but failing to recognise him.
“No one’s coming to save you, Princess,” Hongjoong scoffed and you raised a brow as you looked at him.
“Fuck you too, Hongjoong.” 
Hongjoong shook his head in amusement, looking at you with a strange expression- was that affection in his eyes? You frowned. “You don’t have to fake your feelings anymore. At least be true to me- to yourself- in your last moments.”
“No point wishing I could kill you with my own hands anymore when we’re both going to the same place,” Hongjoong said, his body shaking as he stifled a fit of laughter. You shook your head at that.
“Isn’t it funny?” You attempted to change the subject, wanting a distraction from the way your knees felt numb from kneeling for so long now. “We were doomed from the beginning, you and I. We were both pieces in a game that was being played by these people- the masterminds, from so long ago. Did they ever foresee this moment?”
“Pieces, you say?” Hongjoong asked, wondering who these masterminds were- had he lost the real game while he got high on what looked like a victory to him? “Were you a spy?”
“A bluebird,” you confessed with a short laugh as tears pricked the corner of your eyes. “They’re everywhere, Hongjoong. They’re watching us right now.”
Hongjoong’s eyes widened as he took a look around, finding all the eyes present trained on him. All his life, he had felt like he did not truly belong in the castle but never once had he felt it with this magnitude. He felt like an imposter in his own home.
“So this was all a part of your plan?” Hongjoong asked. His words carried no bitterness or disdain. He simply wanted answers.
“It wasn’t,” you shook your head. “At least, not this,” you raised your tied hands in the air and looked at him. “I really wanted you to rule, Hongjoong. Even if it was just for a day.”
“Well, you got what you wanted-”
“That was what they wanted,” you continued. “I tried to find a way out of this, but you have to understand that I was trapped. By them. By you. I told you that I would make sure to undo everything and sit next to you when you got me arrested, but… the bluebirds got us. I didn’t think I’d sit next to you in the square.”
The rays of the sun were starting to peek from behind the arched roof of the elevation where Prince Woojin stood watching you both. You shut your eyes, letting the warmth of the sun seep into your skin. You were going to be cold for an eternity now.
“Feel that, Hongjoong?” You asked, unmoving. “Another thing we took for granted.”
“The sun?” 
“This warmth,” you looked at him, spotting the grim face of the executioners making their way from the other end of the square, the soldiers and court members taking their respective positions. “Did you ever take your time to feel it? Did you ever feel something similar?”
“I wasn’t always a cold, calculating bastard,” Hongjoong chuckled, glad you were talking to him right now. He somehow felt lighter. “I felt warmth in my mother’s arms.”
“I didn’t,” you told him and he looked at you but there was no pity in his eyes, only understanding. “I felt warmth when the King talked to me like I was his daughter.”
Hongjoong smiled at that, looking at his tied hands. The executioners paused when they saw that emotion on his King’s face, allowing just another moment. You looked back at Hongjoong, strands of silver hair covering his glazed eyes.
“Did you ever love me?” 
Hongjoong’s smile only deepened at that. “Did you?”
“Maybe I did,” you cocked your head, waiting for an answer.
“Maybe I did too,” he raised a brow. “We must have been lovers in our past life.”
“Or maybe we were enemies, and this was my twisted attempt at redemption,” you said and he chuckled. “Maybe we’ll actually do ourselves justice in the next life. If there is one.”
“Death won’t do us part,” he said and you finally let the tears fall even though your heart warmed at his words.
The executioners appeared in front of you, their swords gleaming and ready by their side. Hongjoong had personally requested execution by the sword instead of the guillotine though he never mentioned his reasons for this choice. He raised his tied hands in the air and the executioner looked towards Prince Woojin for confirmation. You narrowed your eyes at the Prince, wondering if he would take the throne or demolish the monarchical system but your thoughts got interrupted when you found your executioner untying the ropes around your hands as well. 
Confused, you looked at Hongjoong who extended his hand, prompting you to take it. You intertwined your fingers with his, squeezing them. He held your hand with considerable strength as if he meant to convey his fear for what was ahead but assure you that he was here, with you. 
“Death won’t do us part,” he promised and shut his eyes. 
You shut your eyes with a smile, thankful for his promise. Maybe in the next life, you would meet again under better circumstances, unburdened by lies and guilt, greed and lust. For the first time, you saw something other than red.
You saw silver- muted but warm, like Hongjoong’s hair. Bright and glaring like the colour of the drug, silver light, that doomed you. Distant and beautiful like the stars you saw at night while you rested in Hongjoong’s arms. Twinkling and intoxicating like the stars Hongjoong made you see when he made love to you.
You saw silver- glorious and absolute like the sword that painted you both red.
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captainmalewriter · 27 days ago
Text
Punishment
Peter’s cousin Miles was a well-known hypnotist. While many dismissed him as another scam artist looking to make a quick buck, he was the real deal. With just 10 minutes and the sound of his gentle voice, Miles could even convince a fish it was actually a bird if he wanted to! 
Peter knew how powerful his cousin’s hypnosis skills were. He saw what he could do and wanted to try it for himself. Luckily for Peter, his cousin readily agreed to teach him a thing or two about hypnosis. Miles warned him to never misuse his skills, but of course, Peter merely shrugged off his warnings. 
The basics of hypnosis were fairly straightforward. First, the subject needed to be in a relaxed state of mind. Second, the hypnotist must guide the subject into the inner depths of their mind until they enter into a true hypnotic state. Sort of like giving directions to someone with a blindfold on. Third, the hypnotist offers suggestions to the entranced subject. If the subject accepts the suggestion, then the hypnotist must create a code word that will allow the subject to switch in and out of their altered state of being. Easy to learn, but difficult to master.
Once Peter got the hang of it, he wasted no time in showing his best friend Luis his new skills. Naturally, once Luis saw just how powerful hypnosis was, he wanted in on the fun too. He asked how to hypnotize someone and Peter happily taught him the ropes. Together, Peter and Luis decided to use hypnosis to get whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. They quickly became a selfish, power-hungry duo with their newfound abilities. Money, women, and alcohol. All it took was one conversation with a naive target and suddenly everything they could ever want was right at their fingertips. Peter and Luis believed they had become unstoppable! 
But surely enough, Peter’s cousin soon caught wind of their reckless antics. He was disgusted by their misuse of such a sacred art and, more importantly, he felt betrayed by someone who shared his bloodline. He was outraged! And so, Miles decided to deal out a punishment to the two misbehaving hypnotists. He invited them both over to his house for a night of video games and beer. They accepted the invitation and quickly made themselves at home without any hesitation. While Peter and Luis were busy enjoying themselves with free alcohol, Miles got straight to work performing his mental magic. 
“How are you guys doing? Are you comfortable? I wanna make sure I’m being a good host.”
“You’re doing great, primo! I feel right at home here,” Peter answered.
“Yeah man! Thanks for having us over,” Luis chimed in. He stretched and let out a yawn. “I feel like I could just fall asleep right here on this couch.” 
“That’s good! I’m glad to hear it. Please gentlemen, my house is your house. Feel free to kick your feet up. Take a deep breath too, let the stress roll off your shoulders.”
They did exactly as Miles suggested without question. They put their feet up on the nearby table and took a deep breath. In… Out… Relax. It was such an ordinary command, and Miles delivered it so subtly, that both Peter and Luis failed to realize they had already fallen into his trap. 
With every word Peter’s cousin spoke, they became entranced in a deep state of relaxation. Any and all thoughts they had were silenced, leaving behind only a fuzzy, gray feeling. Their eyes had a glazed over look to them. The lights were on, but clearly nobody was home anymore. All they could focus on was the sound of Miles’ voice. Their minds were wiped clean. A blank canvas, and with Miles holding the only paintbrush. 
“You are such good friends,” Miles started. “I think it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that you two are best friends for life! Am I wrong?”
“No, sir…” Peter and Luis answered in a low, sluggish voice. 
“Wow! That’s amazing, but you know, I can’t help but wonder if maybe there’s something even deeper between you two than just being good friends. Perhaps… something sexual?” 
“Nrghh…” 
“Ughhh…”
Peter and Luis moaned as they began moving restlessly in their seats. Miles grinned at the sight of them squirming from his words.
“That’s right… You both very clearly like each other. Personally, I think it’s time you both give in to your true feelings for one another. Does that sound like a good idea?” Miles asked with a smirk.
“Yes, sir…”  they answered in unison. Their hands moved to the other man’s crotch and grabbed it. They massaged each other until they both had tall tents forming in their pants. 
“I think you two are going to be very good boyfriends from now on. In fact, you two should leave the hypnosis world behind. You won’t need hypnosis when you have each other!”
“Ohhh fuckk… That feels sooo good…!” Luis groaned. 
“I fucking love you man… I wanna feel you deep inside of me…!!” Peter moaned. He was panting and salivating like a hungry dog.
“Okay, my friends, whenever you hear the word ‘hypnosis,’ I want you two to remember just how much you love each other. You’re both insanely attracted to each other’s bodies, so don’t be afraid to express it!” 
Miles clapped his hands as loud as he could until both Peter and Luis woke up from their shared trance. They woke up groggy and unsure of what just happened. Yet, despite their severe confusion, all they could focus on was how handsome the man sitting next to them was. They leaned in and shared a deep kiss. Miles let them make out for a few seconds before throwing a couple of game controllers at them. 
“Hey man!! Are we gonna play or are y’all just gonna fuck on my couch!?”
Peter grinned, then grabbed the controller to join the game. Luis followed suit. As they played, Miles dropped a quick test question. 
“Hey Peter, how’s it going with your hypnosis skills? You getting any better yet?”
“Argh!”
“Unnnhh!!”
Both Peter and Luis let out an obscenely loud moan as they felt a sudden warmth growing in their bodies. 
“Uhh… To be honest, I gave up practicing hypnosis. I don’t really need it.” Peter answered. Miles merely nodded.
They tried to ignore their mutual lust for each other and just continue playing the game, but the growing members in their pants gave them away. All Peter could think about was Luis’ thick, hairy cock dripping with precum. It drove him mad and Luis knew it! He smirked as he watched his boyfriend gyrate his hips into the couch cushions. He was itching for his dick as much as he was hungry for his sweet, tight hole!
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Peter eventually threw the game just to end it quickly. 
“Damn, I lost!! Oh well. Hey, Miles, could I ask you to grab us a pizza? I’ll pay of course.”
Miles turned to his cousin. He saw the hungry lust burning in his eyes and internally smiled. 
“Sure Pete, I’ll be right back.”
As soon Miles stepped out of his house, he heard loud kissing and groaning coming from his house. No doubt it was Peter and Luis ripping their clothes off of each other’s bodies. Miles grinned. His little plan had worked. There were two less selfish hypnotists in the world. And now he had a free pizza to celebrate his success.
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meanbossart · 1 month ago
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So, I was thinking after the newest Bhaalist DU Drow art (and his hand dangerously close to Astarions throat): what would happen if Astarion runs away? Did he ever try?
And, what's also pretty sad, how does affection look like for them in this AU? Does Astarion just push through and dissociate? Can he ever say no? Or does he hope the love of his life (or unlife) changes at some point?
Thankies 💕
CW: Non-explicit description of a coercive sexual relationship.
You know, I'm not sure he would try to run away. I haven't thought about this AU in quite as much depth as I have their canonical story, but I do know that DU drow has turned Baldur's Gate and the area around it into quite the scary place. The "immediate and absolute control over the brain" outcome that we get in the game is a bit too easy for me, but he DOES retain the stones and therefore ownership over it, not to mention a huge bargaining chip in political control of the vicinity.
The church of Bhaal is reinstated, and while it will never be in the interest of Bhaalists to be blatant about their activities, it would become common knowledge that they have eyes everywhere. Killing is still ritualistic rather than mindless massacre, and indoctrination is prioritized - they can't expand and fulfill Bhaal's will if all potential followers are dead. People who don't yet follow the gospel have reason to cooperate with them since that lessens their chances of being killed.
So, if the darling of the cult's head were to suddenly disappear, everyone infected would be immediately zapped with the knowledge of exactly what he looks like and where he was last seen, and what the repercussions are for anyone who fails to report his whereabouts. Astarion knows this, DU drow would make sure that he does.
Also, it would probably be far too easy for Astarion to justify his own compliance and try to make peace with the situation. This IS the man he fell in love with, he DID encourage his pursuit for power at every step, he may not be the grand vampire ascendant, but he is the Murder Prince's beloved. He doesn't beat him, he doesn't torture him, he spoils Astarion with riches, comfort, and all the fresh blood he could dream of; all he asks for in return is his eternal devotion, constant affection, adoration, control over where he is, wears, does, and total surveillance.
When the alternative is braving the cold, ruthless world as a meager little vampire spawn while being hunted down by your ex's minions (hm, sounds familiar) being the equivalent to your partner's boutique pet starts to look pretty desirable. Astarion falling to old habits and resigning to his circumstance seems pretty likely to me. If he did run away successfully, life would be a whole lot harder for him. If he runs away unsuccessfully, he loses the trust of his murderous, power-hungry partner and the few liberties he is afforded at all.
Speaking of liberties, saying no to intimacy is one he still has, however the consequences for being frigid and nonreciprocating would come in other forms, over time, and Astarion would probably rather spare himself the trouble and just play along as the highly affectionate and fiery lover that this DU Drow wants him to be. The happier he is, the easier things are.
Not to mention that, occasionally, he can pretend that everything is back to how it used to be when they are being intimate.
I think there are vulnerable moments where he hopes he will snap out of it, but most of the time Astarion is convincing himself that he hit the jackpot, that he has DU drow wrapped around his finger and he will be able to turn this more in his favor eventually.
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lichenes · 1 month ago
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I heard you were begging for Silco asks and I will take literally anything.
Jealous Silco or Jealous Reader (bonus points if Silco doesn't notice that someone is hitting on him)
I also feel like Silco would be an amazing dance partner/classical waltz style or some intimate partner dance but would only ever do it in private.
Silco with a reader who is maternal with Jinx ❤️
Smut or fluff, whatever you feel like writing I just want to treat that man right 👍
To all the anons that requested Silco i will be getting on that soon!! Now I present to you: Silco looking for a mum for Jinx, any takers?
This gif has such a fucking GRIP on me it's driving me insane. How can pixels be SO F I N E. Anyway per your request anon this is Silco x reader x (kinda) platonic!Jinx :D!! SILCO DESERVES SO MUCH LOVEEEE. I don't care if he commited like... actual war crimes, what does AIR mean to my LUNGS. CW: brief cursing!! not much besides that, pretty tame, kinda ooc.... sorri... wc: 1261 .  *    ✦ .  ⁺   .⁺    ˚ .  *    ✦ .  ⁺   .⁺    ˚.  *    ✦ .  ⁺   .⁺    ˚.  *    ✦ .  ⁺   .⁺    ˚.  *    ✦ .  ⁺   .⁺    ˚
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The Zaunite air was filled with an unrelenting heaviness. Each day, despite Silcos best efforts, the food was getting scarcer and people were more and more scared. It wasn’t ever too much. He could handle it no doubt. Right?
Jinx was sitting on his desk and talking his ear off.
She was enjoying her time with him while Silco was quietly taking care of some documents. Spending time together with Jinx was one of the few things he enjoyed in life. Sure, his unique appearance made many women drawn to him and most people in Zaun felt nothing but respect for the man but he never developed anything meaningful, anything… tangible. Aside from Jinx he had no one. 
The stream of words being let out of Jinx at, at least, 200 words per minute stopped when there was a knock at the door. “Come in.” Said Silco with his usual sombre tone. He always filled the room with a certain coldness few were able to tolerate or enjoy, for that matter. Sevika entered the room. “Someone wants to talk to you.” 
He nodded, giving her permission to let them in. 
During the conversation with whoever was sitting on the other side of the desk Jinx kept returning to the thought that brushed by her mind that morning. Shouldn’t someone as undoing as a daughter have a mother by her side? Jinx was good. Good at what she did, good at killing and even better at creation. She lacked the maternal hand that was supposed to lead her through life even if she wasn’t exactly aware of what she was looking for she needed someone to guide her through her life. 
On the other hand, Silco, the effective ruler of Zaun, didn’t have anyone to share the parental burdens of life with. The swooning crowd of power-hungry women in the city weren’t a good choice for a mother. Not for someone as unpredictable as Jinx. 
Jinx was convinced you fell from heaven for her, how could he not see it? A godsend perfect for what she needed.
The Last Drop was busy. People talking, the air stuffy with Zaunite tensions, dilemmas and the smoke being extruded out of the lungs of many. He noticed you before, an everyday woman, providing her parents with whatever they needed in their old age. He didn’t do many of the job interviews himself, his lesser henchmen took care of that, but the barkeep of The Last Drop was the person he came to care for. 
“You’re hired.” He said at the end of your chat.
You were used to people chatting you up while you were behind the bar, an additional drink, boredom or true infatuation were all at play here. Never… this. “What can I get you?” You said when someone took the only free stool at the bar. When they didn’t answer you so you turned around to check them out. If they were a danger to the well being of the people inside or the bar itself you’d rather they threatened the guards than you. 
What transpired was truly bizarre. You expected to see anyone here, Sevika in a foul mood, Jinx with a gun to your head or even one of the lesser lackeys of the many people running this city. Silco? Silco was last on your list.
You froze in place almost dropping the pint you were holding. Quickly you put it on the counter in front of the person who ordered it and turned your attention to him. He looked at you with an unusual intent, normally when you’d look over to his usual spot he’d be smoking and surveying the room with his ice-cold vision, today there was… need. 
You were stuck in place not being able to even utter a word in such presence. After a moment more of scaring you into an early grave he spoke. “Come to the back, someone will take your place for tonight.” Suddenly terror turned into anxiety. “Am I being replaced?” He only stood up and went around the bar to presumably accompany you there. 
Your heart was pounding and your hands were sweaty, this could be your execution you realised. Your mind was going a million miles a minute, combing through all your wrongdoings and if you were eligible for any pardon. 
He didn’t enjoy that scared expression on your face, he enjoyed them on most people with exception to Jinx and well… you. “Nothing to be afraid of, lady.” Said Jinx toying with her gun. That definitely didn’t mitigate your concerns. “She’s right.” Said Silco somehow appearing behind you. You jumped at his sudden intrusion into your personal space. 
Explaining what they wanted was certainly difficult. You had a lot of questions regarding your new position as a… babysitter for Jinx? You’d never say that out loud for fear of swift death. The payment was lucrative as well so you decided on accepting the offer. At the end of the talk you were more or less familiarised with what this job entailed, along with being a co-parent to Silco, you were to be on their beck and call, still you retained the position of the barkeep. 
As all people you were a bit afraid of Jinx. Looking at her she was inconspicuous, the braids giving her a child-like wonder look to her. Underneath you could feel a profound sadness sitting inside of her and you were determined to make this weird little fucked up family a happy one at least. 
You were happy to tend to wounds, look after The Last Drop when needed and listen to Jinx talk for hours. With time, Silco grew fond of you. Your mannerisms of a caring and doting parental figure, despite all which burdened you, would soon make him swoon. 
One night after closing when you were wiping down tables Silco walked in, in an unusually good mood. He leaned on one of the clean tables. “Hello. How was your day?” You asked mindlessly, not noticing him inching closer and closer to your figure. Nobody else was in the room when it all happened. 
You weren’t the best at concealing your growing affection towards Silco. The longing stares weren’t doing you any good and the fact that somehow he kept catching you was even worse. You were sure your position was soon to be terminated. 
He spun you around and caged your body between his own. His breath was warm and falling just over your chest. “Silco?” You dared. 
“You make me sick with worry sometimes.” He was… smiling? Silco was smiling? You couldn’t make anything out, your head was spinning from the proximity and his cologne. “Look at me.” He demanded grabbing your chin and tilting it upwards. “I’ve got a question.” You nodded. “Do you want to dance?” You were stunned.
The tables were moved to the sides as Silco put a few coins into the jukebox and began striding towards you with the delicacy and grace of a cat. You put your arm on his shoulder and grasped his other one. He led you around the room to the song being played and amidst the growing tension, brought his lips to yours, hesitantly. The kiss was magical, you could feel yourself rising above the roof when he finally closed the gap. You reciprocated the kiss and as the song faded away he put his hands on your cheeks trying to get as close to you as possible.
He thought he’d lost the spark and now, here you were. 
.  *    ✦ .  ⁺   .⁺    ˚ .  *    ✦ .  ⁺   .⁺    ˚.  *    ✦ .  ⁺   .⁺    ˚.  *    ✦ .  ⁺   .⁺    ˚.  *    ✦ .  ⁺   .⁺    ˚ masterlist
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lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom · 9 months ago
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'Fake' Feelings
Zuko x Reader
Summary- In a pinch, you have to pretend to be in a relationship with Zuko. Little do you know it was never pretend for Zuko.
A/N- HAPPY BIRTHDAY @thethreeeyed-raven!!!!! This isn't my typical fandom as y'all know. I wrote this as a birthday gift to my best best best online friend. SHE'S AWESOME. Go check her fics out <3<3! CONTAINS A SINGLE BAD WORD >:)
Word Count- 2,468
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"Mai, I already told you. I can't be with you!" Zuko was getting frustrated. While he did love Mai at one point, that was a long time ago. Zuko was now the Fire Lord, their relationship seemed like ages ago.
"And why not Zuko? We've been through this a hundred times. You always come running back, you're so pathetic. May as well cut the middle part and we can act like nothing happened." She stepped closer, pressing herself on his arm. "Like we always do..."
Zuko had finally realized how Mai controlled him. When he was weaker he was naive, now he knew what he wanted. Someone who never put him down, someone who never called him 'Pathetic.'
You.
He immediately thought of you. How you were so strong, but never put others down to feel powerful. How you always spoke your mind, but only out of the kindness you hid deep down.
Your walls were built up so high, but he knew who you were. He knew how beautiful you were.
"I can't be with you because I'm dating someone else." The words left his mouth faster than he could think.
This stopped Mai in her tracks. "Excuse me?"
"Yeah, you're not the only one I am allowed to go out with. We've been broken up for awhile now." Zuko was no longer on the defense, but the attack.
"You do know that I am the only one who could love you. Who could love a traitor, a banished prince. Who else, huh?" Her arms were crossed, a smirk on her face. She knew she outwitted him.
Releasing his bit lip, Zuko exclaims your name.
Her face dropped. She knew exactly who you were. She was furious.
"We'll see about that..." With that, she left the room.
You were on your way to visit Zuko, one of your closest friends, for a 'friend reunion' Sokka had planned. You were of course excited to see him after so long. Though, the ride on Appa was miserable. About a hundred "are we there yet"s and "I'm hungry"s from Sokka.
The five of you- Sokka, Toph, Katara, and Aang made it safely to The Fire Nation shortly.
Upon landing, a man in red robes greeted everyone.
"The Fire Lord sends his deepest regards, as he could not see to you himself. You are instructed to follow me to your rooms." He had a stoic expression, but you guessed he greeted people all the time.
Oh well, Zuko must be very busy as a Fire Lord. You were sad, but couldn't blame him.
What you didn't know was that Zuko was pacing his room, definitely not busy. In reality, he cleared his schedule as much as possible for the week you were all visiting.
How was he going to tell you? He was deeply embarrassed, not to mention Mai might try and pull something with you. He knew not to underestimate her.
The thought of her trying to hurt you was enough to rack up the nerve to confess. He just needed a moment alone with you.
A grand dinner was prepared for the Avatars arrival, the rest of you reaped the rewards of being his friends.
"This is SOO good!" Sokka exclaimed, "Zuko sure has a way with food....." He slammed a fist on the table, before quickly lifting more food to his mouth,
"Sokka, you know he has chefs who make the food, right? Please tell me you know that..." You deadpanned, looking at him.
"Uh... Yeah! Yeah, definitely...." He looked down, that was until a new voice appeared.
"Sokka, did you really think I cooked all this?" Zuko walked to the seat at the head of the table. You noticed you were sat to his right.
It was a Fire Nation tradition that the Lady of the house would sit to the right of the Lord... You brushed the thought off quickly, writing it all off as a coincidence.
"W-well I don't know! You've been working ALL DAY!" Sokka squawked.
The dinner went on smoothly, well as smoothly a dinner can go with this group. You could feel the servants and servers rolling their eyes at all the unprofessional comments, jokes, and laughter.
You didn't care, you were just happy Zuko was able to be himself.
Hours later, when everyone was worn out and had their stomachs filled, they started to head to bed.
You were one of the last to leave, having been helping tidy up as much as you could.
You thanked and farewelled the servers, trying your best to remember where your room was.
The Palace was much bigger than you remembered. The halls upon halls blurred together. You were soon lost.
Every direction you turned looked the same, you started to breathe heavy.
You could already see it, 'cause of death, starvation in the Fire Nation Palace.' Or maybe dehydration would take you quicker?
A man passed by, you were saved! Though, the closer you got the bigger his scowl grew.
"Excuse me, I think I'm lost. Can you help me?" You were nervous asking, it was so 'common' for someone to get lost in a palace. You were sure your cheeks were red.
His face was dark, his eyes covered by his demeanor. For some reason he seemed annoyed at you.
"Sir?"
A hand rested on your shoulder from behind. It started you, putting you into a 'fight mode.'
Turning around swiftly calmed your nerves as quickly as they came. It was Zuko.
"Can I help you?" Zuko was talking to the strange man, who was no longer so 'big and bad.'
"No Fire Lord Zuko, my apologies." He barred his head in a bow and left.
You had a small smile on your lips, "Thanks, he was starting to scare me." While you were positive you could have taken the man, you were tired and didn't really feel like fighting.
"Of course, I can show you to your room." He held his arm out, you took it.
The gesture was friendly, you told yourself. Nothing more.
You must have been lost for awhile, as it took a few minutes to get to your room. The small talk exchanged was nice, but something told you Zuko was hiding something.
At your door, he stopped. "Zuko, do you want to come in? You seem restless."
"Actually, I do have something to tell you..." The tone of his voice scared you.
"Oh, then please sit." He joined you on the edge of your end. The door shut behind you two.
You pushed a strand of hair back, nervously sitting. "What's wrong?"
"I'm not really sure how to tell you this... I really am ashamed to have to ask you for a really big favor..." You had seen him on edge a lot, he was quite the stressor. Nothing like this, though.
"Zuko, anything. What do you need me to do?" You questioned.
He looked down at his hands, "You can tell me. I'm in no position to judge you, you know that."
"I uh," He rubbed the back of his neck, "I told Mai that we were dating so she would stop trying to get with me." He spit out so fast you almost missed what he said.
"Oh."
Well that's not what you thought he would say...
"That's not the worst part." He lowered his face to his hands, "The ball in four days, well I told her you were going with me... She's got Ty Lee lining up suitors for her. Trying to make me mad. Also she uh, she's probably told everyone now..."
"Oh." You were at a loss for words.
"I... I don't know... I'm sorry. This is stupid, at the ball I'll tell everyone what happened. I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen! It just slipped out an-"
"Zuko."
"Yes?"
"What if you don't have to tell everyone?"
You hadn't looked at him since he started talking. Honestly, a night with Zuko at a ball? It sounded like a dream. Zuko was handsome, kind, generous, and you'd had a crush on him for months. You knew he wouldn't ever really date you... So you might as well seize the opportunity, right? What could go wrong!
The two of you decided it would be wise to not tell anyone else it was fake, as Sokka, Toph, and Aang had big mouths. They'd slip up sooner or later. As for Katara, she wouldn't have kept that big of a secret from Aang.
So, for the next few days you and Zuko spent every second together. At first, it was coming up with plans for the ball. It turned into getting more physically comfortable with each other. That eventually escalated to spilling each other's deepest secrets, ya know... just in case...
Even in four days, you found yourself going from a crush to madly in love. You found out his quirks, what made him tick, his hidden likes and dislikes. Not a second was spent apart.
The afternoon before the ball you were stressed. It had been easy up until the ball. You just had to be yourself around Zuko, now you had to pretend in front of hundreds...
Katara helped you pick out a beautiful red and black dress. To match Zuko's of course.
A big scene was planned out between the two of you, Zuko would introduce you to everyone in an announcement and you'd walk don't the grand starts arm in arm with him.
It was fun to imagine and talk about, but now the 'what ifs' were running wild.
You somehow made your way to Zuko's room, knocking hesitantly. He begrudgingly opened, but became excited when he saw you.
"Zuko, I'm terrified." He quickly guided you into his room.
"What happened?"
"What if I fall? What if no one likes me? It's a lot of steps it-" He cut you off.
"Hey, it's okay... We can throw everything out the window. Just saw the words."
You swallowed thick. "No, no just... Just promise you'll be there? For me?"
Your name was a whisper on his lips, "Ill always be here for you... Just imagines its only us up there... Just normal day."
You nodded, more relaxed knowing he'd be by your side through I tall. It also gave you a wicked feeling of comfort to know he was still willing to do whatever you preferred. He would have ended the lie immediately if you asked, but you wanted to be there for him as well. To make sure Mai would leave him alone.
The Palace was bustling with people, waiters, food, activities, and entertainment. It all came to an abrupt stop when Lord Zuko appeared.
It was comical, trumpets blared and all head turned.
"Fire Lord Zuko, accompanied by-" Your name seemed unreal on his lips. To be announced with a Fire Lord? You felt you didn't deserve it.
You slowly walked into view of everyone, whispers erupting. To be 'accompanied by' was essentially dating for Lords and Ladys.
All eyes were on you as you took Zuko's arm, walking down the steps. You felt light, your grip tightening on Zukos.
"Almost there, I'm right here." His words were all the comfort you needed.
Music resumed and the party goers continued their fun.
That was expect for one person. Mai. She marched up to you, her questioning eyes on guard. Watching her march over sparked a fury in you, the fire started and didn't stop until you spoke.
"Hello Mai. How can I help you? Is your father well, since he lost his job as Governor and all..." You passively aggressively asked, a mock frown on your face.
"What would you know about Governor dad's and all? You grew up poor." Damn, she got you there.
"I guess the difference in poor and rich is personality. Cause you don't have one..." You shrugged your shoulders at her, biting back a laugh.
"At least Zuko loved me for who I am, not who I was pretending to be." She remarked, not really knowing why Zuko loved her or you.
"Damn Mai, you must know a lot about pretending. Seeing as you're a two faced bitch. Should I go and tell Ty Lee you called her an 'easy bed'." A gasp left her lips in shock, how did you know she said that? Well, you wouldn't tell her, but a gossiping Fire Sage spilled the beans.
Zuko, who had been temporarily called away to exchange pleasantries with a Navy Captain, had returned.
"Mai, I see you've met my girlfriend." He said, snaking a hand around your waist. Chills were sent up your spine.
She gave a scoff, "It'll never last. You're only in it because he's the Fire Lord." She pointed to you, then him, "And you, you just seemed to pick up the next girl you saw laying around. Talk about a downgrade. When you get tired of her, i'll be waiting." She walked away.
"What is her problem!" You exclaimed, face hot with anger.
"Jealousy, I think." He said.
You turned to face him completely. "What for, she doesn't even seem to like you anymore?"
"Maybe cause you're prettier than her?" He said, not realizing his own words.
Your cheeks were now flushed for a different reason. You swiped your lips with your tongue before speaking, "Thank you..."
Hours of dancing, partying, and eating went by. Everyone bought the act easily, you and Zuko were naturals at dating. The fun died down, and many were starting to go back home.
Zuko walked you back to your room, hand in hand.
"Thank you. I really cannot thank you enough, just ask. Whatever you want is yours." Zuko said, still grasping your hands at your bedroom door.
"I don't need anything. This was really fun actually, I know you were just pretending... but i've had the best time the past five days."
"Pretend?" His face screwed up, like he was in denial.
You blinked a few times, own lip curling. "Well, I mean... You made it pretty clear this was all just an act. I-I am not hurt." You were, but wouldn't let him know.
"Words cannot express how genuine these days have been... Oh gosh, I haven't felt this free since I was a child." He pressed on, serious.
"Y-you mean, none of this has been fake to you?"
"Well, I know you signed up for 'fake'." He looked over you, face uncertain.
With a step forward you spoke, "This hasn't been fake for me either..."
"Really?" He pressed his chest to your slightly, hand wavering around your waist. "Because I don't think I could live if you're lying right now."
"Will this answer your questions?" You leaned up, closing the gap and kissing him.
A/N-Thank you for reading, I haven't fully watched ATLA In a little bit sorry if Zuko is OOC!! When it's not midnight and I'm not super tired, I will edit any mistakes!
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cinnamorollcrybaby · 2 months ago
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Prison changes a man
tags: mean!Satoru x fem!Reader, spitting, hair pulling, nsfw, toxic behavior, guys he’s a walking red flag in this, angst, hurt/no comfort.
An: This was just suppose to be smutty filth of Satoru being an asshole, but it actually got sad and meaningful towards the end. Oops…
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I love soft!Satoru as much as the next person, but we need to talk about cold!Satoru. I’m talking about the Satoru who came back after being trapped in the prison realm. The one who came back a little different than how he left.
The one who spent the agonizing time in the lonely confides of the prison realm doing nothing but push ups and sit ups all day. The one who practices the output of cursed energy until his eyes couldn’t stay open anymore.
The one who went days without food, water, sleep, and socialization. The one who was alone with his thoughts for far too long. The one who saw his best friend’s dead corpse talking right before he was captured. The one who knew people were going to die in Shibuya, but he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
He wasn’t going to let people die again. No, this was his burden to bear as the strongest. He had to make sure everyone got stronger before December 24th. Everyone needed to be at their best, or they needed to give up being a sorcerer completely (Kusakabe tried, but Gojo forbade him from resigning). It was either get with it, or get out of the fucking way.
He was only hungry for one thing: strength and power. His body had learned how to go without food and water for an extended amount of time. Nothing physical held him back besides himself.
No one got away with slacking off. Satoru was even treating his coworkers like a drill sergeant. He was constantly out on the field with them either doing cursed energy training or stamina training.
Today, you were his victim of choice. You had been running laps around the field for god knows how long now. Satoru was unrelenting as he kept a steady pace behind you. He didn’t even looked phased, even though you had been running without break for too fucking long.
Your legs were completely numb, and your thighs felt that weird burning itchy sensation from the constant movement. Your chest heaved as you tried to get whatever oxygen you could into your lungs, but your chest was so tight. Everything hurt, and the world was spinning before your eyes.
“For fucks sake, yn. Sukuna would’ve already tore you to shreds by now. Hell, even Uraume would’ve caught up to you.” Satoru hurled insults when he noticed his peers or students start to falter.
Your feet come to a halt, and you double over from the pain in your chest. Your body tries to gasp for air, but you’re just fucking choking on it like a fish out of water.
“Sa.. toru.. water-“ You tried to gasp out, lusting for the water bottle that he held in his hand.
“Oh? Are you thirsty?” Satoru asks as he eyes you down. His footsteps are slow and methodical as he approaches your pitiful form. His large hand grabs underneath your chin, and he tugs your face upward to look up at him.
His fingers squeeze the sides of your cheeks tightly, forcing your mouth open for him, and he gathers the saliva in his mouth before spitting directly into your mouth. “Drink up, slut. Maybe you’ll run faster with some of my DNA in you.”
Satoru hadn’t felt hungry for anything other than power in a long time, but when he heard that small breathy whimper escape you when you so graciously accepted his spit in your mouth, he felt a hunger for something else entirely.
He almost overpowered it until he looked at your eyes: so fucking needy and helpless. A twitch in his boxers immediately solidified his decision.
“C’mon. You’re doing a different form of training.” His voice was low as he wrapped his hand up in your hair and proceeded to walk you down to what use to be his office.
He was so fucking mean when he trained your cute cunt on taking his cock. His tip bullied its way past the ring of muscle relentlessly pounding into you like there was no tomorrow… because there might not be a tomorrow for him.
“Don’t tell me you’re fuckin’ cryin’ already, slut. ‘m not even all the way in yet.” He taunts as his hips pull all the way back until just his tip was in, giving you a false sense of security before he pummeled every inch right back inside of you down to the hilt. “I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Your body was at its complete limit, but Satoru wasn’t done yet. He was going to fuck you until he couldn’t anymore, until your walls remembered the shape of his cock, until the hurt of being sealed was masked by pure unadulterated pleasure. He was going to fuck you until things felt okay again.
“Don’t you start passing out on me, sweets.” He threatens before pinching your clit with his pointer finger and thumb, sending shockwaves of pleasure up your body. “Eyes on me.”
The way you clenched around him — so fucking wet and tight had him spiraling. How could you be getting off to this? Maybe you were as sick as he was. How were you already on your 3rd orgasm? Now, he has to play catch up with you too.
Satoru made good on his promise. When his balls were completely empty, and he was shooting blanks… when he couldn’t hardly think anymore but his hips kept trying to move from muscle memory, when you were covered in spit, sweat, drool, and cum… he finally felt okay again.
“You think I’ll win tomorrow..?” His voice was just an insecure whisper. A moment of fleeting weakness from the strongest of today provoked by skin to skin contact with you. Your hearts beating as one.
“I think that me and everyone else at the school will love you regardless. Win or lose.” You murmur lowly, somehow still conscious after everything.
“You really mean that?”
“Yes, I really do.” Your hand leisurely strokes his hair — still so soft despite everything that’s happened to him.
“I want to win… I want to come home and know what it feels like to be loved so unconditionally. I want to save everyone just one last time… I have so much I want to make up for…”
“Come home tomorrow, Satoru. Come home, and I’ll show you unconditional love…”
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cheenapri · 24 days ago
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Transactional [Yandere Illumi Zoldyck x Reader]
Day ???
Summary: Illumi wants to get reacquainted with you after you escaped from him
Word Count: 3.9k
AN: Can we pretend it didn't take me half a year to finish this pls. This is also the last installment for Transactional, anything I write for Illumi in the future will be unrelated
Notes: yandere, kidnapping, gender neutral reader, unhealthy relationships, unbalanced power dynamics, mentions of past abuse, Illumi is not very nice, reader gets strangled
Day One Day Two + Three Day Four + Five
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The cool night air felt nice against your skin. You take a deep breath, looking down at your feet as you continue walking. The song of the crickets was barely audible against the sound of honking cars and other city noises. You pull your jacket tighter against yourself to ease the faint anxiety that always ate away at you. 
You were returning to the motel you currently stayed at after finishing your last shift at your part-time job. Your job was nondescript, just like your disguise; an under-the-table job at a diner. It was perfect for a runaway such as you as it didn’t require IDs and paid in cash. You were offered the job by a sweet older woman you’d become friends with, her kindness extended as she had also given you a phone free of charge. It was an old model, but you were ecstatic nonetheless.
You felt stable as a pattern in your daily life began to form without unbearable dread scaring you into hopping onto the next bus and fleeing to another city. You hadn’t thought about his name quite as much but it never truly left your mind. The anxiety coupled with expectations of his long, sharp claws snatching you away at any moment slowly dissipated each time it failed to happen. 
You have learned to live again.
You were no longer going hungry for days at a time, stealing food and water just to evade starvation. You were no longer forced to sleep outside if you even could sleep, worried you were too exposed and he’d come to scoop you up in any minute. You no longer had to wear the same clothes for days on end, the rainwater being the only thing rinsing them and making them somewhat clean again.
Finding a serious buyer for the wedding ring he had given you was awfully difficult, from scammers who lied and told you it was a fake ring to almost getting robbed a few times. It was a good thing he told you how much it was worth that one time, casually spilling that he had spent one-hundred fifty-five million yen on it. As much as you wanted all of that cash, you had to settle with one million as you were becoming desperate and needed the funds to take care of yourself. 
After you were able to secure the money, you immediately got yourself a cheap motel room, some food, and some new clothes, using the rest of it to fund your travels. You never stayed at motels for long, making sure to stay on the road and get as far away from that evil man as you could. You honestly thought your escape would be fruitless, that he’d find and kill you almost immediately, but as days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, you wondered if he was even looking for you. Sure, you had drastically changed your appearance, but you were certain he wouldn’t need to look so hard to know it was you. 
To this day, you still wonder if you actually escaped or if he had willingly let you go. 
After weeks of begging and feigning passionate favors, you found yourself on yet another date with him — your last date with him. He had taken it upon himself to take you out whenever he felt you’d earned it, the requirements for earning it always seeming to change based on his mood. 
You felt like some kind of stress reliever, maybe that’s why he kept you around.
At least he hadn’t hurt you in a long while, or rather “disciplined” as he liked to call it. It was probably because you weren’t challenging his delusions anymore, allowing him to convince himself and others that you two were a normal, happy couple. He even began to trust you a bit, initially allowing you time out in the garden under Shiori’s supervision before allowing you to explore freely.
His family had warmed up to you as he’d said. Not in the sense that you all hung out and drank tea together, but rather in the sense that they either ignored you or treated you like you were a pet. They rarely ever refer to you by name if at all. Kikyo especially as she took it upon herself to “teach” you how to better serve her son. Her teachings were always mentally draining.
Kalluto was the most bearable Zoldyck. He wasn’t intimidating, overwhelmingly at least, he never said a word, and he never made any effort to hurt you. He only seemed curious at your existence, like you were some brand new undiscovered species. As long as he kept his distance when watching you, you had no issues with him.
Silva seemed to view you as a spectacle but never looked at you for more than a few seconds, Zeno even less. That was a guess, however, as you were too afraid to look either of them in the eye. They were aware of that and seemed to respect you since they avoided you as much as you avoided them, even if it was more so to preserve their eminence.
You hadn’t seen Milluki since the dinner, only hearing news of him from eavesdropping, and you thankfully hadn’t been forced to go back to the Zoldyck mansion for another agonizing family meal either. Shiori wasn’t as active in her role as your assigned butler, but your captor had been in his role as your “husband”. You got that skylight you wanted though it was at the price of your dignity. 
You shake your head before rubbing your temples, not wanting to let your mind wander to something that was long in the past. Picking your head back up, your speed quickens, carrying you inside the near-empty motel lobby and into the elevator. 
Your phone buzzes.
You fumble around in your pocket for it, pulling it out and tapping the message notification from your boss. It read: 
“I appreciate your hard work today. Your paycheck should come in tomorrow.”
The elevator shudders as it ascends, but your eyes remain fixed on your phone’s screen, the three little dots implying she had something more to say. 
“I know we haven’t known each other long, but I want you to know that I’m here if you ever need anything or need to talk to someone.”
You had never told anyone you’d stumbled across the truth about your situation, afraid they’d be endangered if that man found out about it. You didn’t need to, however, as your anxieties were written on your face clear as day despite your best efforts. 
You clutch the phone in your hands. This was all so unfair. You hold the very object that would allow you to communicate with your family, to call for help, but you’re unable to do so, his past threats towards your family a constant reminder every time you thought about calling them. 
You refuse to put anyone else in danger. 
The elevator dings as its doors open, revealing a dimly lit corridor before you. You slowly begin walking, your phone still open on your boss’ text message as you’re unsure of what to say. You desperately want someone to confide in, someone to tell your traumatizing story to, but you won’t do it at the cost of their life. Your thumb squeezes the power button, shutting the phone off and leaving you alone with your thoughts. 
As you reach the corner you must turn down to get to your room, you stop. It’s eerily silent. Your head hurts. You feel sick. 
Your phone buzzes again, echoing within the empty halls. 
“Maybe we can sit down and chat before you leave tomorrow if you’re comfortable?”
You continue and turn the corner, looking down at the text before turning the phone off once again and slipping it into your pocket, chalking up your sudden nausea to your recent thoughts about him.
You stop. Your room is at the end of the hall, you stand mere feet away from completing your recent daily routine and yet you’re unable to get yourself to move like you had many times before. 
It was simple: wake up, go to work, go “home”, go to sleep, rinse, repeat. However, your daily pattern never featured a strange man standing still as a statue right by your motel room door.
Your expression is almost as blank as his, you’re unable to react. You stare at him as he does at you, neither of you saying a word. His jaw ever so slightly clenched, his pointer finger twitching, his eyes unblinking. 
This headache will kill you before he does.
“Hey,” he greets, his voice an unfortunate familiarity. His tone is calm as always. Slowly, he inspects you from his spot, not commenting on your failure to greet him as he had “taught” you while he takes in your disguise. He hums to himself, quiet yet audible enough for you to hear. “I’m not a fan of the new look.”
His words were blunt, his eyes meeting your gaze once more. “You disappeared for a while.” He pauses momentarily and allows the tension to build as his stare remains fixated on you. “I thought someone else had gotten to you first.”
He wasn’t supposed to be here. Your mouth feels dry yet you swallow hard, the reality of the situation fully sinking in as you’re face-to-face with the one person you never wanted to see again: Illumi Zoldyck.
He’s angry, he has to be.
He was interfering with your plans. You were supposed to pack up and leave the motel tomorrow in search of another hiding spot to avoid this very event. How did he even find you after all this time? Your mind races as you think of all the possibilities. You know you didn’t leave any traces because you couldn’t leave any, all products were purchased in cash or discretely stolen, your face covered and head low at all times, and you never stayed in one spot for too long until recently. Maybe you’d gotten too comfortable? Unable to think logically, you slowly put your hands up in a defensive position, your body shifting as you take a step back.
“Don’t move.” He reaches out toward you — the space suddenly feels colder. Your body freezes as instructed despite the possibility of your freedom or even your life coming to an end. “You’ve run enough. Come here.”
You stay still, afraid to move let alone bridge the gap between the two of you. Illumi is static, still standing in his position with his arm outstretched to you. You’re like a deer in headlights, your face expressing nothing but pure terror to the man before you. Maybe you’ll turn invisible if you remain still enough…
“I won’t be so forgiving if I have to come to you,” Illumi threatens, a slight frown on his face.
What’s the difference if he’s going to torture and kill you either way? Wouldn’t it be better for him to be rough so you could die faster?
“Come here,” Illumi repeats once more, a much more commanding tone in his voice. You were in no position to test his patience. 
Tears begin stinging your eyes as reality sinks in even further, your heart burying itself into your stomach. With shaky legs, you take a slow step toward him. Your eyes dart from door to door hoping that if you stalled long enough, someone would come out and discover the two of you. Normally you wouldn’t wish anyone the misfortune of stumbling across Illumi, but your morals seem to dissipate now that you are being confronted. 
Illumi remains silent as you cautiously approach him, your eyes wide and your steps hesitant. Your fear grows stronger the closer you get to him. You flinch when he lowers his arm, your mind convinced that every movement he made was malicious. 
“You’ve been very busy, haven’t you?” Illumi asks sarcastically, the sarcasm in his voice is barely noticeable and the question almost seems legit. “You’ve caused me a lot of trouble, though that was your plan from the beginning.” 
He holds his hand out to you, the unspoken command for you to take it obvious. You hesitate, however, as past incidents of him crushing your hand as punishment resurface in your mind.  He’ll start by breaking your hands before breaking your legs and then finally breaking your neck, leaving you crumpled and gasping for air in the motel’s hallway. 
For a long moment, you didn’t move. “Give me your hand.” Illumi verbalized his command as his patience was running out. 
You’re visibly shaking, the tears in your eyes now overflowing. Slowly, you bring your trembling hand forth, cringing a few times as you envision yourself putting it in the mouth of a metal shredder. With your fate unavoidable, you place your hand in his, eyes shut tightly and head lowered as you mentally prepare for what’s to come. 
Silently, he takes hold of it with his other hand, pulling you closer to him. Illumi took note of your every reaction. The recoiling at his sudden movements, the shivering when his hand rubbed against yours, and, of course, your blatant anticipation of what he’ll do next.
His eyes move from your face to your fingers — narrowing slightly as the object he was looking for seems to be missing. He underestimated just how reckless you were, though the thought of you doing what he secretly dreaded was always possible.
He’s quiet, attention focused on your ring finger as if trying to manifest the symbol of your bond with him out of thin air. His anger was palpable. 
“Hm… you sold it,” he states, tone flat and expression unreadable. “How much?”
Your hand trembles, his itching to squeeze with intent to crush. You grumble your answer, voice timid as your eyes look off to the side. Before you could even react, his hand springs forth and grabs your jaw in a vice-like grip — his hold is dangerously close to your neck. Illumi forces your head up, his gaze meeting yours. 
He doesn’t say anything, only holding you in this unfortunate position. You let out a deep breath through your nose, your eyes shutting as you repeat yourself in a louder tone, “O-One million yen.”
Illumi abruptly releases his hold as if disgusted with you, his actions a stark contrast to your prediction of him immediately ripping your head off. He mentally repeats the number, his internal resentment battling over which to be more furious over: you being stupid enough to sell your binding to him, especially for such a low amount, and then using the cash to run away from him, or you being stupid enough to even think about selling your binding to him at all?
Ultimately, he chose both. 
Quietly, Illumi reaches into his pocket, eyes still trained on you as he retrieves the motel’s master key. He then turns to swiftly unlock your room’s door, stepping back and gesturing for you to head inside.
You don’t move, and the itch to run becomes more tempting. Seeing your hesitation, Illumi takes it upon himself to guide you inside, placing a hand on your lower back and practically shoving you into the room. Once the both of you are inside, he shuts and locks the door behind him with clear finality, watching as you back away and clumsily stumble onto the bed.
He doesn’t turn the lights on, the only light being from the moon’s glow through the window. He steadily moves toward you before stopping just shy of the window, the moonlight partially illuminating his features. He seemed less controlled, almost giving you a death stare in his own way. 
“Go on,” he says, a noticeable edge to his voice. His request was open-ended, its implication meaning anything. He wanted to see just how stupid you were. 
You scratch your head and think of thousands of ways to die at that very moment. If you’d gotten a gun from a shady seller, you could’ve made your unplanned interaction with Illumi short and messy — if you were even able to grab it. Maybe if you piss him off enough he’d deem you unworthy and side with his inner instincts, wasting no more time and snuffing the life out of you efficiently.
“You’re…” you start, ”You’re suffocating me. I just want to live.” Your arms wrap around you as you seek comfort in this unfortunate predicament. 
Illumi takes his time processing your weak excuse, the weight of his scrutiny becoming more and more unbearable with each passing second. He tilts his head, “You think you can live without me?”
“I can and I did for several months!” Your voice no longer felt weak. You shut your eyes as your deep-seated disdain for him builds even further within you — your mind no longer concerned about the possible repercussions. What more did you have to lose anyway?
“You weren’t living, you were surviving.” Illumi straightens his head. He allows time for his words to sink in as he takes in the sight of you again, his eyes flicking over your cheap hoodie, worn-out shoes, and tired, yet angry eyes. “The streets hadn’t been very good to you, I see.” His eyes move to make contact with yours. “You look a mess.”
“You’ve made me look worse!” You grit your teeth. Without thinking, all your pent-up anger was released at that very moment — the worst moment. “You’ve taken everything from me and you treat me like shit! You don’t know what love is! You’re horrible and I hate you!”
At that, he moved. The air around you shifted — a menacing, yet familiar energy you realized you hadn’t felt until now. You’ve provoked him, that much evident from the visible frown on his face and a slight furrowing of his brow.
“You talk too much.” He closes the distance between you and shoves you down onto the bed. Your breath hitches, your hands up defensively as you prepare to fight a battle you know you won’t win. 
His movements are deliberately slow as if the anticipation was intended to be its own form of punishment. You go to move backward, to relieve yourself — even momentarily — of his overwhelming presence, but he pushes you down again. The bed dips under his weight, his hands moving ever so slowly towards your neck. Knowing this wasn’t a bluff, you grab his wrists and try in vain to push them away.
You’re too weak. 
“You’re in no position to speak to me in such a manner. Here, I’ll show you.” His hands grip your neck with immense pressure, causing you to gasp and claw at his wrists. 
Illumi remains reasonably calm, externally at least, as he watches you struggle beneath him. “(Name),” he says. His grip loosened completely which allowed you to breathe. You continued coughing as you took in deep breaths but your sense of relief was quickly snatched away as his hands squeezed again. “(Name),” he calls again.
An overwhelming sense of dread embodies you as you realize that he is actually going to kill you. You’re unable to deny your survival instincts forcing you to fight back despite a smaller part of you reasoning that this was the happy ending you so desperately wanted. 
Illumi’s grip loosens once more, his gaze softens watching you spring back to life and greedily suck in oxygen. He relished in the control he lacked over you for so long. He wants something from you and you know that.
“I’m… sorry!” you manage to force out between breaths. You’re crying hysterically now, apologizing again and again as you don’t wish for your final moments to be as humiliating as this. 
“For what? What did you do this time, (Name)?” Illumi asks calmly, his fingers digging into your neck the more you try to pry them off. 
You hesitate despite the situation. You’re not sorry. You’re not sorry for a damn thing. Your lungs are burning though so you have no choice. “I’m… sorry for… run-running away…”
Illumi hums, his black eyes boring into you. “Running away wasn’t your only offense. What else have you done?”
Your head is spinning though you’re still able to breathe somewhat. You tap his wrist, a pathetic admittance of defeat. He doesn’t let go though.
“Please… get off me,” you beg. He ignores your pleas and keeps you pinned beneath him, his thumbs ready to press down on your windpipe at any given moment.
“You haven’t admitted all your wrongdoings. You haven’t fully apologized,” he states flatly. 
“I don’t-“ 
You’re cut off as he crushes your throat, his eyes narrowing. “You do.”
You’re beginning to panic again. You’re unable to rack your brain for whatever thing you’d done to warrant such an assault. 
Illumi could feel your pulse quickening. The temptation to squeeze just a bit more until it slows to a halt is overwhelming. He’s had you at his mercy before, but he had never thought of actually going through with it. His eyes are glued to you, taking in the drooping of your eyelids, the paleness of your skin, and how your body is relaxing. Even now as you’re being rightfully punished for daring to betray him, you still manage to humanize him – forcing him to feel something he was taught to suppress. 
He hated it. 
But he hated the way he hesitated even more.
Illumi releases your throat, and you spring back to life. You have no tears left to cry, only coughs and hoarse sobs as you replenish your oxygen. It was clear to Illumi that you were simply too stupid and stubborn to be sorry, and that it would be a waste of time to continue forcing disingenuous apologies out of you. 
That’s okay. You’ll come around. 
He slides off of you and fixes his clothes as if nothing had even happened. His calm, blank expression slipped back into place as he took in your small motel room. “This is what you’ve run to.” His voice carries a hint of mockery.
There was a lack of concern for your struggling figure on the bed, only disapproval as if you were acting. Your throat ached, and your head spun. Why were you still here?
“You’ve proven you are incapable of handling any ounce of freedom given to you. You cannot be trusted to make decisions on your own. You don’t know what’s good for you… that’s why you need me.”
He returns to the bed, standing over you once more. “Get up,” he says, “it’s time to go.”
Though you knew it was coming since death failed to, your heart sank at the thought of stepping foot in that wretched place once again. You let out a strangled sob, your limbs quaking as you force yourself up. 
“We have a lot of catching up to do, (Name).” Illumi places a not-so-comforting hand on your shoulder. “We have to ensure this incident won’t happen again.”
His subtle threat confirmed the plans he had in store for you. Your body refused to move as the realization that you were back at square one sunk in, but you forced yourself onto your wobbly legs as you were only delaying what was clearly inevitable. 
He wouldn’t forgive you – you knew that – and the treatment you’d receive would be much, much worse. 
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lucilleslore · 1 year ago
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lovesick snow really really really scratches a part of my brain that i cannot have the words that explain it and have to go the library of babel to find it. he'd be more easy to manipulate in that state, especially how vulnerable he is to you and how willing he'd do anything for you. like you said in one of your first posts, i'm in love with the idea of it of how powerful the reader is if you want to add more backstory to them.
ok so i went with your idea and gave manipulative!reader and snow the backstory they deserve for the little au we have going here!! i hope you love it <3
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➸ so as a kid i see manipulative!reader as a bit of a daydreamer and what do lots of little girls dream about?? their wedding. for you though it wasn’t necessarily about the day, not even the fancy dress or the colour scheme but the person. let’s just say you’re already from quite an influential family but it’s not enough - you want more.
➸ you wanted a husband that’s powerful, motivated. he had to be important and charismatic - someone who could really get you what you wanted from life. you weren’t completely unbothered by the idea of romance though and hoped that’d you’d manage to get them utterly devoted to you, willing to do anything to protect you and make you happy. it’s not a hard thing to ask for, right?
➸ you’d always been aware of coriolanus snow but there always seemed to be better candidates for your attention. then he comes back to the capitol and you can sense the change in him - the unhinged, power hungry aura that seemed to surround him and as he quickly started making a new name for himself, you thought he could be the one.
➸ coryo would never be an easy person to get close to however. so you had to subtly start placing yourself in his life. it was a slow process but you were diligent. ‘bumping’ into him just outside his apartment, having the same social calendar as him, even showing an interest in the games so someone would set up an appointment between the two of you to discuss.
➸ then there was one moment. one that not even you - seemingly the mastermind of your own life - had planned out. it was raining that day, pouring and you were alone rushing back to your apartment. you weren’t paying attention to where you were going and when you stepped out onto the road you weren’t prepared for the onslaught of screeching tires or horns. or for the strong grip that wrapped around your wrist and pulled you back.
➸ coryo was there just as drenched as you were but with a kind of frenzied, panicked look in his eyes. ‘you should watch where you’re going,’ he’d urged. it was the way he said it, the way his hand squeezed at your wrist that had you thinking maybe he’d been noticing your efforts after all. he’d tugged you closer to him as if you’d be safer there and it was probably the most genuine moment you’d had in years, as you blinked up at the blonde man who’d just saved your life.
➸ honestly after that you decide to back off, feeling a little guilty about your scheming but seemingly the universe wanted the two of you on the same path. or maybe coriolanus did. suddenly he was there at family functions, taking meetings with your father, charming your mother at all costs. he’d come to dinners hosted at your families estate and his eyes would never leave you from across the table even when he was in a conversation.
➸ so when your family told you about the marriage proposal you weren’t that surprised, just giddy. everything was finally falling into place. you knew you’d have to be careful. to you snow was charming, doting in a sense but you’d heard the rumours. he could be dangerous and you’d have to make sure you were never in his firing line.
➸ in the beginning of your marriage you try and play coy, let coryo take the lead in things. you like to let him know how you rely on him, always holding onto his arm in public and letting him speak first. basically just playing up to his male ego but something about seeing you feeling so safe with him and letting your guard down has him letting some walls down too. which is exactly what you want.
➸ he’d start to confide in you after a while because you’re just such a good little wife! bringing him drinks in the evening in your pretty dresses, loosening his shirts and playing with his hair. it isn’t his fault he ends up telling you things about his past, things he plans to do in the future - a lot of things that he probably shouldn’t tell you especially since you’ll remember each and every one.
➸ kinda dark but i love the idea of you being able to read people really well and always hyper aware of who coryo surrounds himself with, always sussing out their intentions before he does. you give it a little while but if he’s still not catching onto them you’ll simply make something up. maybe they’re giving you dirty looks or maybe their gazes are just lingering a little too long for your liking, in places they certainly shouldn’t be looking. maybe they’ve flirted with you, maybe they’re making nasty digs but you have coryo eating out the palm of your hand by this point and he’s possessive, protective in a mad, feral way. you’re flat out lying but he eats it up and whoever you want gone doesn’t last much longer after that.
➸ maybe that’s how you get your power. by simply having his ear. people know that they can get what they want through you and by the time coryo is president you have people visiting you nearly everyday. hoping you’ll let them into your inner circle, offering you things in exchange for a word whispered in his ear.
➸ and maybe coryo comes to rely on you this way. you’re a capitol darling, their perfect first lady but behind closed doors you’re separating the good from the bad. the people who can help your husband and the people who’re out to damage what he’s built. people begin to see you as a powerhouse in your own right, someone with a good side they need to be on. or else.
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storiesfromafan · 14 days ago
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I Want All Of You (18+) - Benny x Plus!Size Reader
A/N: I bring you all part two of my plus size reader one-shot 😊
Feedback always welcome 😅
Warning/s: 18+, smut, unprotected p in v, a bit of praise kink (?), grammer/spelling mistakes
Tag list: @psychocitylights @lilithlunastark
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Kathy was right, a man will always want to be seen with his woman. No truer statement fitted Benny. After the first night he did everything to chase you. Showing up at the house, or your work, to make sure you were right to get home, or needed a ride. Even watching you as you grocery shopped with Kathy. It became so much that one night you just asked him; what do you want Benny?
His response; you.
You were shocked, surprised, excited and scared all wrapped up in one chaotic ball. You asked him why you? What made you so special. He looked you in the eyes, point blank and asked why not? That stumped you. There were so many reasons why it shouldn’t be you. But in that moment, you couldn’t think of them. The holding gaze Benny had on you, all the negative thoughts, or doubts disappeared. How did he have such power over that part of you?
Maybe it was the way he pursued you. Not taking no for an answer. Not caring who saw him with you, talking to you, wanting you. The determination in this man was commendable. That was why you gave in. No man has ever pulled you in for a kiss so fast. A hungry, possessive kiss. His large hands holding onto your waist securely, like you’d run from him. The way his tongue dominated your own, had your knees buckling. When Benny pulled back, he enjoyed the kiss drunk look on your face. Telling himself to do that to you often.
Though you were happy and excited for what you had with Benny. You found it hard at times to fully let yourself loose itself. Such as when Benny would kiss you stupid. Hands running over your body. Usually started with your chest, down your sides to grasp your hips. Or grope your behind. His movements were desperate and dominating. But you would shift, or move away. Worried that sooner or later Benny would find a part of your body that he doesn’t like. So, you kept as much distance as you could. But it was hard with his need to touch you.
Monday was an extra day off, making up for a double you’d done Friday. Kathy was at work, leaving you to do your share of the house work. Before you were done you heard that familiar rumble of an engine coming down the street, before it stopping out the front of your house and the engine cutting out. You smiled softly knowing Benny was here to see you. Like he did every day you’re off, along with nights. Yet he hadn’t stayed the night, or been in your bed.
You made it to the front door just as Benny leant in to knock, of course surprising him. But then he shot you an amused smirk.
“I could hear you two streets away with that thing" you mused leaving the door open, and returning to the kitchen to finish scrubbing some pots.
“That thing is my bike" he retorted closing the door after entering the house. “And you like my bike”.
You laughed from the sink, a sight that greeted Benny as he leant in the kitchen doorway. The soft sound of the radio on in the background, which you were absent-mindedly moved too. Oh how Benny enjoyed watching your body move, swaying side to side. Those curves he enjoyed feeling, before you’d shift or move away. Cutting him off from the simplest joys. He had thought about it for the last week, and the only thing he could put it down to was you being self-conscious. Afraid there will be a part of you he won’t like. Which is wrong.
To Benny, your body was a supple, curvy feast for his eyes and hands. If you’d give him the chance, he would run his hands over every part of your body. His lips, tongue and teeth not fair behind them. He would worship you till you couldn’t take it anymore.
Moving from his spot, Benny crossed the room to stand behind you. His arms wrapping around your waist, and burying his face in the crook of your neck. You giggled when his stubble brushed your skin, while you fidgeted in his hold. Yet Benny made sure you weren’t getting away from him this time. You protested and whined, making it about needing to finish the pots. But really you were worried today would be the day he’d find something about your body to dislike.
“Stop fidgitin' baby" Benny sighed against your neck. “I just want to feel ya”.
You quieted down, movements halting. You racked your brain for an excuse, a reason, to get out of his hold. But you couldn’t think of one. Shakily you continued to scrub the pot before you. While Benny remained wrapped around you. Happy to finally get to feel you against him. But he could tell you were still holding back, and he knew he had to nip it in the butt once and for all. So Benny started to think of a plan, one that would show you just how much he loved your body.
Starting by soft, sloppy kisses to your neck. His hands then moved over your stomach, which had a little chub to it, but not enough for a tummy. You stiffened when his hands roamed that area. Which was a worry of yours. But Benny didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he was being nice. Slowly his hands headed up, over your ribcage to cup your breasts. His large hands encased each mound, slowly caressing them over the sweater you were wearing. With the first gentle squeeze, a small sigh slipped from your lips, a little surprised mixed with a touch of pleasure. Yet, you were still fighting those self-doubts.
Benny planted a firm kiss to your neck, before moving and nipping your earlobe. “You’re so beautiful” Benny growled lowly in your ear. “Every inch of you...”
He moved his hands back down your stomach, and to your hips. Holding them firmly he drew his head back, before he turned you around to face him. Benny's lips met yours in a hard kiss, hands slipping to your rear. Firmly he squeezed before drawing you close to him. Your chests pressed together. Benny pushed his tongue into your mouth, dominating it. The way his tongue took charge, stroking your tongue in a guiding manner. He wanted you to know you were everything.
You pulled back from the kiss with a small squeak when Benny picked you up, his large hands cradling your behind. Those delicious arms of his flexing with strength as he held you up. You protested, saying to put you down. That you were too heavy to lift, you’d hurt him. Those words soon died on your tongue when he shot you a dark, angry look. Resting you against the sink, Benny held your gaze firmly before speaking.
“Sweetheart, these arms were made to pick you up. What kind of man would I be if I couldn’t carry my girl?” his tone was low, gravelly but deathly serious. Sending a delightful chill down your spine.
You moved your hands to his shoulders, gripping his denim vest and t-shirt. You felt embarrassed by his hold on you, but his strong words lightened you a bit. That flutter in your stomach back because Benny wanted to show you, you were just like everyone else. Feeling pride in him, you leant in and gave him a quick kiss. Which made him smile. It was a small step forward to you getting over your self-consciousness, and Benny would take it.
“I want you" he said softly, looking you deep in the eyes. “I want all of you".
God, he knew what to say to make you a mess. If he keeps going, you’d go limp in his arms. You know if he keeps talking like this, you might finally believe it all. You crushed your lips to his, hand moving to hold the back of his head. Your lips moved together in a fever, tongues colliding and caressing in a rush. You might be a worry wart, but you wanted this man to help you get over it or learn to love yourself through his eyes.
Pulling back, Benny hoisted you up in his arms, a loud squeak leaving your lips this time. Which made you both laugh. Before he carried you from the kitchen, and up the stairs to your room. Entering the room, Benny made sure to close the door with his foot. He placed you upon the bed, a tad ungraceful, resulting in him leaning over you. Again you both laughed, before sharing a quick tender kiss. What should be a heated moment, seemed to have touches of clumsy and laughter. Which seemed to ease you.
Pulling back, Benny removed his denim vest and then his t-shirt. Giving you the opportunity to gaze at his chest. And what a sight to behold. Starting at his pecks and then down his abs. Noticing where you were looking, Benny ran a hand over his chest, down and then up, a knowing smirk on his full lips.
“Like what ya see?” He asked with a chuckle, and a wink.
You blushed, but nodded your head.
“Good" he stated, leaning back over you again, eyes boring into yours. “Because I know I’m gonna like what I’ll see".
Benny's hands moved to the hem of your sweater, his fingers sliding under as it rode up. You stiffened, holding your breath. He kissed your lips, softly telling you all the right words before moving his hand higher, fingers skimming over the flesh of your stomach. The pads of his fingers were rough against your soft skin. His hand warm, almost scorching you. Yet the briefest touch of his ring was cool. You relaxed but shuddered at the feelings he was bringing forth in you.
With a bit of shuffling, Benny removed your top, tossing it behind him to rest with his vest and t-shirt. You were a sight, slight laboured breathing and laying before him in your bra and slacks. His eyes feasted on the revealed skin. You squirmed a little, wishing you could cover yourself.  But you stopped the moment he leant down and placed a kiss between your concealed breasts. The eye contact he was giving you – intense and determined – took your breath away.
“So beautiful" he muttered against your skin. “And I haven’t fully unwrapped my treat yet...”
You felt the heat pooling in your lower half. His words, actions and eye contact the trinity to your arousal. God, if this was what it would be like to fool around with Benny, you’d have done it sooner. Next Benny moved his hands to undo your bra, and rid you of it. Right away one of his large hands cupped a breast, the warmth of his hand hotter than your skin. His lips kissed the other breast, then his teeth grazed it. You groaned, arching your back wanting more.
And Benny happily gave it to you. His lips touching the erect nipple, a chaste kiss. Next, he sucked it into his mouth, full lips plush to your skin. The more he sucked your groans turned to a glorious moan. Music to Benny’s ears. He then switched breasts, sucking one while fondling the other. All the while Benny watched you, enjoying how he was making you feel. The moment his name left your mouth, he groaned as he sucked harder. Which in turn turned the volume of your moan up.
Satisfied with lavishing your breasts with attention, while driving Benny crazy, he released them. Of course he wasn’t going to leave it there. He moved on to your slacks, unbuttoning and zipping them before removing them without a trouble. Now you lay before him in just your panties. Instinctively you drew your legs together, arms moving to cover your chest.
But Benny was quick, hands on your legs, moving them apart for him to crawl between. No way to hide that part from him. Not after being such a torture to him. His manhood was hard, uncomfortable in his jeans. He could so easily free himself, push your panties to the side and fuck you into the mattress. But he wouldn’t – couldn’t – do that to you. Your body had to be worshipped, tended to with care and devotion.
“I love your outfits" Benny racked his eyes from your panties, up and over your stomach and chest, to look deeply into your eyes. “But I love you like this so much more".
It’s funny, but you believed every word he said. He was genuine and honest. Slowly you removed your arms, placing them at your sides and holding onto the bedding. He smiled, pleased you trusted him.
“Good girl" he praised, hands skimming up your sides. “I want to worship this body with my hands, my tongue and my teeth. But I desperately want to be inside you. Do you want that, baby?”
Slowly you nodded, your face hot from embarrassment.
He pinched your side gently. “I want to hear it. Say you want it".
Biting your lip you took in a shaky breath. “I-I want it" you muttered.
Benny shook his head. “Gotta be louder...”
“I-I want it!” your voice was loud and clear for Benny to hear.
He smiled before moving in to kiss you deeply once more. Nipping your bottom lip before pushing his tongue in. It was all hunger and want. He then moved down your neck and chest, sloppy kisses and bites. He licked from under your breasts and down over your stomach. You sighed with content, watching him with hooded eyes. This would be when Benny would move his hand lower, fingers exploring the jewel between those enchanting thighs. But he really couldn’t wait. He had to be in you, fucking you till you couldn’t take it.
Managing with one hand, Benny freed himself from his jeans and boxers. And – with a little time – was able to get them over his hips and far enough that he could kick them completely off his legs. Pulling back from you, Benny moved to your panties. He should have pulled them down your legs, like anyone would. But by now, he was a little impatient. Swiftly he tore them from you, extracting a small surprised scream from you. That made Benny laugh.
“Sorry, I really can’t wait anymore, baby" was his amused words to you.
With some moving around, mostly opening your legs wider, and getting himself into place, things were back on track. In this position Benny could see you all, how perfect your pussy looked. Holding his cock, Benny leant in, running the tip through your folds. You softly gasped, he looked to you as he did it again. The moment he nudged your clit, you groaned. Over and over again he did it again, sometimes even slow, just to get noises from you.
This was all good and fine, a feast for his eyes of you on display and your reactions. But he needed more. Slowly Benny pushed the tip into you. Inch by inch he watched himself sink into you, before bottoming out. You’d taken him so damn well. And he voiced that. Making you blush, which he found beautiful. You needed to know how good you were for him, and how good you were doing.
Leaning in Benny once more kissed you. This time it was slower, tender even. Showing you that he was still there, and would go easy on you. Even if his words said otherwise. He was doing this for you, showing you how much he wanted and needed you. In and out of the bed. How you were his. This was the final way to claim you as his girl.
“You feel so fuckin' good" Benny sighed against your lips. “You ready, baby?”
You nodded, and he let that slip this time. But he will teach you to answer him, how much your words mean. Benny slowly pulled back, until the tip was just inside, before thrusting back in. He kept his pace slow at first, letting you get use to his size and the intrusion. You felt so damn good, and it was getting hard for Benny to not just lose himself. Your back arched, noises of approval leaving your lips, spurring him on more.
You’d slept with a few men before but they were nothing like Benny. For them it was all about them. What they liked. How they felt. That they got off. None had ever taken the time and care like the man above you. Benny was taking care of both of you, but had put you first of course. You felt that coil in your stomach tightening. His word and actions playing a big part in your arousal. Plus Benny was exceptionally good to look at. He was the total package.
When he hiked up your leg, and snapping his hips, Benny somehow managed to thrust deeper. Hitting that spot that was sinfully pleasurable. The moan it ripped from you should have made you blush and want to die, but it felt just so good. Again Benny thrusted, hitting that spot. Getting the same reaction, only the moan seemed a little more desperate, needing more.
Leaning over he moved faster – harder – needing more of those reactions. Your hands moved from gripping the bedding, to grasping onto Benny's shoulders and back. His name falling from your lips when he hit that spot over and over again a few times. God how he loved hearing his name coming from your mouth like that.
With every thrust you got closer to reaching your climax. That coil in the pit of your stomach getting tighter and tighter. The groans and noises Benny was making just added fuel to the fire. The gruff, deep voice of his lost in this moment between you both. The way he would look at you with those stormy blue eyes, the fire and passion there shining back at you. This man was perfect with attention and affection.
“I-I’m c-close...” you stuttered, voice raspy.
Benny groaned in approval. “Cum for me baby".
With a few more harsh, deep thrusts – hitting that spot over and over – finally pushed you over the edge. Clutching at Benny, nails digging into his skin, back arched you moaned as you came. Feeling you tighten around his cock, Benny thrusted a few more times, movements getting more sloppy. Before finally hitting his peak. Buried deep within you Benny came, his seed filling you up.
You both stayed how you were for a few moments. Sweaty and heavy breathing messes. You looked up at Benny, face warm not only from your activities but shyness washing over you. Benny, on the other hand, looked down at you with admiration. He was absolutely transfixed with you. How beautiful and perfect you were. And those words tumbled out of his mouth, shocking you.
“W-what?” You asked softly.
Now Benny was the one going shy. “Shit...I said that out loud?”
You nodded, remaining quiet.
He put his head down, feeling embarrassed. “I-it’s true though, you’re beautiful and perfect...”
Your chest fluttered from his admission. You might not see it or believe it when you look at yourself in the mirror, but the man above you did. A small, warm smile graced your lips as you moved a hand to the back of Benny’s head. Running your fingers through the tuff of hair on the back of his neck, you coaxed him to look back to you. Seeing how happy you were, it made him smile in return.
“Thank you" you said with joy.
Wanting to not ruin the mood, but Benny wanted to hold you close, he reluctantly removed himself from you. And fell beside you on the bed, bringing you to his chest as he wrapped you up in his arms. Placing a kiss to the side of your head, Benny repeated his words, wanting you to remember them. You moved your head back and pulled him in for another kiss, showing him just how much he meant to you.
“I think I could get use to bein' your girl, if that was what I get every time we’re in bed" you boldly stated.
He chuckled before moving his lips to your ear. “Baby, not just in bed will I do that to you".
Numerous places crossed your mind, all the possibilities that lay ahead for you in Benny's presence. You were thrilled but also a little embarrassed, but a good kind of embarrassed. This man might be the death of you. Or the man of your dreams.
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lushrue · 4 days ago
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ghost and soap who gets honorably discharged after sustaining service-related deafness
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he’d stood just a little too close to a charge blast. on the outside, he was fine; not a scrape or bruise on him, just some dust and debris from the explosion. but the ringing in his ears was sharper than it’d ever been, and it didn’t go away the way it normally did. he saw ghost reaching down to help him up, shouting something at him. it was like someone had put the world on mute. there was the muffled sound of gunfire, but even that was drowned out by the shrill tones in his head.
he was subjected to a whole battery of tests after that mission. things shoved in his ears, sitting in soundproof booths and watching the look in the doctor’s eyes when he didn’t hear the sound stimulus they presented. he’d had temporary hearing loss before. it was inevitable when one worked as close to explosives as he did. this just felt different. final, permanent.
he’d dug his heels in when it came to hearing aids. although the doctors and simon tried to assure him that they could make them discreet, even the high-powered ones he’d now need, johnny couldn’t shake the image of his grandda out of his head. the man had practically gone deaf in his old age, and hearing aids were the first of many devices he’d had to use to function daily. it meant fragility, decline, worthlessness. soap was still in his prime, goddammit. and he’d sooner die than wear a hearing aid.
their first morning together in johnny’s flat was the first time he realized just how different everything would be now. golden sun pressed at the seam of his eyelids, waking him gently instead of the shrill beep of an alarm clock. he smelled bacon frying, but couldn’t hear it sizzling. he knew it was simon in the kitchen, that he’d moved in and taken leave to help johnny adjust. but without being able to hear his soft humming or the weight of his steps on the linoleum, could he really be sure? he stepped cautiously out of the bedroom, only feeling the slightest relief when he saw simon’s face.
simon waved hello, and johnny thought he saw him say “good morning,” but he stopped halfway through the words. the sadness in his eyes when he realized johnny couldn’t hear him was a look soap never wanted to see again. “not hungry,” he muttered, scowling as he retreated back to the safety of his bed.
it was isolating, johnny realized a month in. simon could only communicate with him through writing, sometimes shouting on a good day. they’d tried to go out to the shops a few times, but johnny found he now loathed it. he could see people talking around him, could hear the sounds of a supermarket as clear as a bell in his head, but it never reached his ears. the whole world was moving around him and he felt left behind, left out.
simon tried his best, he really did. he tried turning captions on for the TV, urging johnny to read his lips, taking him to meetings for other veterans who’d been discharged with injuries. none of it seemed to bring the light back into his eyes. the sunshine he knew and loved was fading, wilting under the weight of everything he couldn’t say. it wasn’t until he was prowling internet forums, trying to find any other ways to help the man he loved, when the obvious solution came to him. sign language.
simon immediately threw himself into it, picking up the alphabet and everyday signs with relative ease. while johnny slept or stared absentmindedly at the telly, simon was watching videos of BSL, absorbing everything like a sponge. it was all for johnny, every bit of it. the thought of the twinkle in johnny’s eye returning was enough to keep simon’s determination burning bright.
a few months later, simon sat down beside johnny on the sofa, a pad of paper and pen in his hand. he tapped johnny’s arm to get his attention, pointing down at the paper before starting to scribble on it. “want to try something new?” it read in simon’s scrawl. johnny huffed, jaw clenching. they’d tried countless things and all of them had left him feeling worse than before. still, there was a hopefulness in simon’s eyes, an eagerness that johnny didn’t have the heart to shoot down. he grumbled, nodding his assent.
simon sat aside the pen and paper, motioning for johnny to keep his eyes on him. then he began to gesture. his lips moved as he signed, mouthing the words so that johnny could see their meaning. “i,” simon said, pointing to himself. johnny mimicked him, finger pressing against his chest. “love.” simon folded his hands over his chest, pressing them against his heart. johnny did the same, swallowing thickly. simon had done all this for him, learned another language just to tell him he loved him. johnny didn’t need prompting for the last sign. he pointed to simon, taking his lover’s hands and kissing his knuckles. “teach me,” he said, and simon nodded.
signing became their everyday routine. they looked up words they didn’t know, creating their own signs for things that were too hard to spell. suddenly, the world didn’t feel so isolating anymore. johnny could interact, comment, express himself again. the roadblocks weren’t gone, but they were easier to climb over now. simon had helped him find his voice, even if it was quieter than it used to be.
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takamimami · 4 months ago
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How Much I Care For You
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Pairing: Eustass Kidd + f!Reader (no use of y/n)
I haven't written anything in three years and my obsession with this tulip-headed bitch has brought me out of my hiatus. This fic is inspired by the song Bad Girlfriend - Theory of a Deadman (I'm in my divorced dad rock era)
CW: SMUT, light dom/sub, kidnapping, dub-con if you squint, power play, Kidd calls you 'pretty girl' --- word count: 3.1k
NSFW; MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS KEEP IT MOVING
Summary: You're out with your crew for one last night before setting sail - and you find yourself drunk and alone, looking for entertainment. Who you leave the tavern with is not whose bed you end up in, however... OR You're a bit of a flirt and like to piss off your captain/lover/boyfriend(?), and like usual it ends up with him power-hungry and trying to show you who you belong to.
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You weren’t sure how long it had been since the rest of your crew left the tavern, but as you hazily scanned the crowd below you all you could see were unfamiliar faces; their eyes looking you up and down as you swayed your hips meticulously to the sound of the guitar playing in the background. The alcohol coursing through your veins had distracted you from your fatigue up until this point, but as your movements slowed you became harshly aware of the aching in your legs.
Deciding you either needed to call it a night or find another sucker to buy you a drink to further dull the pain, you hopped down from the bar you stood on to search for any familiar faces. You grimace as a few hands make their way towards you, swatting away the overzealous men trying their best to grab your attention. After a few moments of searching for your crew, a rough hand on your shoulder has you lunging in the direction of the poor fool who dared get between you and your pursuit.
The punch intended for the man’s face instead meets his calloused hand, and your eyes follow his muscular arm up to his face, the look of amusement on it catching you by surprise.
“Woah there, little lady,” he chuckles deeply, the vibrations of his voice ringing through the room even with the loud music still playing. “Careful who you’re throwing these pretty little fists at, wouldn’t want you to piss off the wrong person.”
You scoff and roll your eyes at his condescension, all of the interest he had piqued in you leaving once he opened his mouth. You pull your hand from him, dropping your shoulder slightly to make your way past him, but he instead shifts to remain in front of you, his large frame making it impossible to continue.
“Easy, little lady,” he grins, lowering his head down closer to yours. You curl your lip at him and give him a warning snarl, and this only seems to amuse him even more. “I just wanna buy you a drink, alright? If you still can’t stand to be around me after that then you’re free to go.”
You hesitate before looking away from his grey eyes, looking down to see his hand extended to you as he opens a way for you, motioning in the direction of the bar. The scowl doesn’t leave your face as you brush past him, begrudgingly taking him up on his offer as you saunter over to the bar.
You take another look around the tavern as you order a glass of whiskey, hissing as you feel your admirer approach from behind you and attempt to snake his hand around your waist. The look in your eye deters him enough, and he raises his hands in defeat as he leans against the bar and orders a glass for himself. The two of you stand in awkward silence as you wait for the drinks, your eyes casually glancing around the tavern every so often to see if there is anyone left from your crew you had come into town with.
When the bartender finally slides the drinks over, your instinct tells you to down the drink and be on your way, but much to your dismay the man speaks up before you can bolt for it.
“You looking for someone, little lady?”
You finish your swig of whiskey, letting the liquor glide down your throat slowly to savor the burn. You pull the glass down from your face before looking at the man again, your vision already starting to grow hazy again. You watch silently as his eyes look you over, stopping on your chest as he awaits your answer, his eyes glossing over slightly. You can feel your nipples poking through your shirt, and you giggle lightly as your admirer notices as well.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” you tease, unable to hide the flirtation in your voice. You lean closer to him, “I would tell you who I was here with earlier, but I don’t want you to piss yourself.”
The challenging tone in your voice has the man’s eyebrow quirking, and a thunderous laugh bellows out of him as he leans down to meet your face. As he approaches you can see a few superficial scars marking his cheek, adding to his edge. Though most people would be intimidated by a man of his stature, you were used to far worse and couldn’t imagine the man being any bit of a threat to you and your crew.
“Little lady,” he chuckles, earning a sneer from you, “You’re talking a big game, but where are these big bad friends of yours now, hm?” He looks you up and down again cockily, and you can sense him puffing out his chest defiantly, “Seems they don’t care too much for you if they left you alone with me and my kin around.”
Your vision blurs and coats the room a deep red color, your anger almost getting the best of you in your inebriated state. You let out a deep chuckle of your own before pulling away, deciding the only thing you’d like more than plunging your dagger in his throat for insulting your crew is to see him at your captain’s mercy. So instead of lashing out at him, you simply finish your drink and slide the glass back to the bartender before walking in the direction of the entrance, wagging your finger back at the man and beckoning him to follow you.
The man waves over to a group on the other end of the tavern before stalking after you, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you closer to him as he walks next to you. This time you let him, feeling him run his finger over the exposed red thong on your hip a few times before snapping it against your hip, causing you to look up at him mischievously.
“So, little lady,” the man slurs, “Mind telling me where we’re going?”
The grin on his face drops as the sounds of footsteps approach from the distance, and both of you turn to see a group of men approaching, your admirer bristling at their presence. But before the men can reach the two of you, you feel a boot connect with the back of your knee, your legs buckling and a hard arm pushing you onto the ground, causing you to tumble forward. Before you know it your admirer is turning around to swing an arm at the assailant, who easily dodges the blow. Then the man draws a gun, only for it to come scattering towards you on the floor as you try to wrap your head around the sudden chaos.
The group of men that had originally drawn your attention finally approached, one of them throwing a sack over your admirer’s head and the other turning towards you, a familiar head of shaggy light blue hair approaching and bending down to you.
“You’re such a pain,” he grimaces as he holds a cloth to your face, the pleasant scent of the cloth a stark contrast to the face looking down at you as you slip from consciousness.
~~~
You open your eyes to darkness, the room feeling as if it's spinning as you try your hardest to adjust your eyes. A dim light on the other end of the room flicks on, sending a skull-splitting pulse through your head as you squeeze your eyes shut, teetering on the verge of vomiting.
A familiar low growl comes from the other end of the room where the light is radiating from, and you immediately feel chills run down your spine as the sounds of boots on hardwood approach. You open your eyes to a pair of golden orbs staring down at you, and in that moment you feel a damp heat begin to pool between your legs.
You swallow harshly as he continues looking over you, letting out a deep sigh and sending his warm breath dancing over your skin. It's at that moment you realize your captor had removed most of your clothes, leaving you in only your red bra and thong. You lift your arms to cover yourself only to have your captor trap your wrists in his large metal hand, leaning his face dangerously close to yours.
“I thought maybe you weren’t gonna come home,” he chuckles sinisterly, earning a smirk from you as he runs his flesh hand up your torso, stopping to cup your breast and squeeze it roughly through the fabric of your bra. “I got a little impatient, so we came lookin’ for ya, only to find you prancing out of the tavern with that scrawny little prick.”
You hiss as he reaches behind you, unclasping your bra and tossing it across the room before pinching your sensitive nipple between his thick fingers.
“You’re fucking insane, Kidd,” you breathe, earning a smirk from him as he drops his head to take the other nipple in his mouth. Your body was alight with desire as he flicked the bud with his tongue, alternating between licking and teasing it with his teeth. You try to pry your hands free from his grip but instead, he tightens his grip, making you yelp as the metal from his prosthetic arm digs into your wrists.
“You know I don’t like being teased,” he growls, raising his head to look up into your eyes, his own glossy and heavy with desire as he stares you down. “And yet you let him wrap his arm ‘round you like you were fucking his. You must want me to kill ‘im, hm?”
Your reply is cut off by Kidd crashing his lips to yours, his kiss hard and almost desperate. You could taste the rum on his tongue still as he claimed your mouth for himself, leaving no corner of your mouth untouched before moving his lips to your jaw, smearing his lipstick over you messily. A slight moan escapes your lips as he kisses his way down your neck, stopping at your favorite spot on your jugular and sinking his teeth into it, sucking and marking you before licking over the abused area.
Again he raises his head to look at you, a pleased grin adorning his face as he looks over the mess he’s made of you so quickly. “Where were you going to take him?” His question comes out as a command, and your legs tremble at the sound.
“I-I…. I was b-bringing him back to the ship,” you answer truthfully, your voice trembling with need as you attempt to grind your hips up against him. Kidd notices your attempt and sinks his hips down to you, grinding his groin against yours teasingly.
“Don’t fucking lie to me,” he hisses, making space between the two of you suddenly.
“I wasn’t!” You cut him off, trying to hide the whine in your voice as you reach your legs up and wrap them around Kidd’s waist, pulling him back down to you. “He pissed me off and said my crew didn’t care about me, so I wanted him to find out for himself.” You do your best to steady your voice, but you know deep down the desperation is bleeding out of you.
Kidd only chuckles as he drops his hand down to your thong, pressing down on the cloth and rubbing your clit through it.
“Is that so, pretty girl?” Kidd practically purrs into your ear, growing hungrier for you after feeling how wet you were for him. Your back arches as he adds pressure to his ministrations, your hips bucking into his hand. “Well, I was gonna kill him before coming to deal with you, but now I want him to hear just how much I care about you.”
You smile wickedly as Kidd tugs your thong down your legs, pulling away from you momentarily to free himself from his trousers before hovering above you again, his thick erection pressing into your thigh as he brings his face back down to yours.
“Want you to scream real loud for him, m’kay, pretty girl?”
You have not a second to react before Kidd’s hands are grabbing your hips, positioning his cock at your entrance before pressing inside you hastily. The sound that leaves him vibrates through the room, both his and your eyes screwing shut as you gasp loudly at the sudden stretch of him. He pulls himself out of your wetness fully before snapping his hips back into you, and the cry that leaves your mouth has his eyes flying open and searching yours, a glimmer of concern flashing over his face before the lust takes over again, and you feel yourself clench around him as he begins rocking his hips into you rhythmically.
“Fucking hell,” he growls huskily, leaning forward and adjusting the angle of his thrusts, earning another cry of pleasure from you as you feel his grip on your hips tighten. As he pistons in and out of you, you remember his request and let your moans fill the room unapologetically, your voice only spurring Kidd on as he fucks you mercilessly. Now that your wrists were free, you reach around and claw at his back, trying desperately to pull him impossibly closer to you.
Just as you feel the familiar flutter in your abdomen Kidd pulls out of you, and before you have time to protest he's flipping you onto your stomach, forcing your hips into the air before bringing his flesh hand down to your ass harshly. You yelp and he runs his metal hand over it soothingly before repeating the action with the other cheek.
“That’s for being a tease,” he growls, giving your ass another swat, this time a little more playfully that the ones before.
“I’m s-sorry, Captain,” you mewl pitifully, playing into the power play you know drives Kidd wild. Your words earn a growl from the man behind you as he presses himself back into you, his growl growing louder as he feels your walls embrace him.
“So fucking tight,” he grunts, the snap of his hips pushing you forward hard enough to nearly fall on your face. Kidd notices your instability and grabs at your forearms, pulling your chest up off the bed and bracing you as he fucks you, the sound of skin and your moans echoing through the room and surely down the halls of the ship. Your legs begin to tremble as the knot in your stomach tightens, the new and deeper angle you were taking him at allowing him to brush against your g-spot effortlessly.
Sensing you teetering on the edge, Kidd tugs your arms back farther and wraps his metal arm around your chest, the pleasure he was bringing you enough to distract you from the conflicting roughness of the cold metal. You whine as his flesh hand reaches down to tease your clit, his fingers fluttering over it lightly, but not enough to give you your release.
“You know,” he snickers, panting in your ear as he holds you to his chest, “I’m not too sure you deserve to cum on my cock.” His statement leaves you whining, knowing he would make you work for that sweet moment of bliss you craved.
“Kidd, please,” you pant softly, leaning back into him as he slows his thrusts slightly, keeping you on the edge.
“Uh-uh,” he says, kissing his teeth before continuing, “I don’t think your friend has gotten the picture yet.”
Your pussy clamps around him at the possessiveness in his tone, your legs going numb as you throw your head back against his shoulder.
“Kidd! P-please!”
The desperation in your shout nearly made Kidd cum on the spot, but he ducked his head into your neck to focus and keep himself afloat for a few more moments. He increased his pressure on your clit as your mouth fell open, your orgasm rearing its head as he thrust into you harsher.
“That’s it, pretty girl, let him hear how much I care for you. How good I make you feel.”
With his words you tumbled over the edge, his teeth sinking into your neck as you cried out his name like a prayer. Your walls fluttering around his cock pull his own orgasm from him, and he contemplates finishing inside you before he decides against it and pulls out of you, ropes of his cum falling on your ass as he pumps himself in his hand.
For a while Kidd holds you close to his chest again, leaning back to take some of the strain off of your knees. When your breathing begins to level out he lets you collapse onto your stomach, climbing off of the bed to pull his pants back up and grab a towel to clean the two of you off.
Your eyes, which hadn’t opened since your orgasm, fluttered open at the feeling of a rough cloth along your ass, the tender flesh still sensitive from Kidd’s punishment. He then dips back into the washroom for a moment, returning with two glasses of water, which he extends to you before taking a seat at the foot of the bed.
The room is filled with a comfortable silence as you sip the water, your mind racing back over the events of the night as your headache slowly creeps back up to your temples.
“Was the chloroform really necessary?” You giggle.
Kidd looks over at you, the look in his eye paired with the evil smirk on his face making the butterflies in your stomach stir.
“Well, it was intended for your little friend,” he chuckles, turning his head towards the door. As if on queue, a wail echoes down the hall and Kidd grins mischievously. “But he didn’t put up much of a fight, and I didn’t want to have it go to waste.”
He winks as he stands up from the bed, crossing the room to grab his vest and coat, giving you a view of the marks you’d left on his back. You knew he’d curse you for marking him, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. Instead, you just smile at him, drunk off his smell as he leans down to kiss you lightly before heading towards the door.
“Try to keep him quiet,” you call out as you settle into the bed, snuggling under the blanket as Kidd pulls the door open. “I wanna get some sleep before we set sail tomorrow.”
Kidd just laughs, though the sound is more ominous than humorous as he heads down the hall to pay your friend a visit.
If you made it this far, hai :3 I am trying to get back into writing so feel free to message me if you have something you want written, or just to let me know what you thought 💗
Do not repost or translate.
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