#but he owns his songs in a way i've never seen with other artists

[gracefullou]

Everytime i see a cover of a Louis song i'm reminded of how beautiful his voice is, how unique it is and how difficult it is to sing his songs

[sherewrytes]

T. A. R (Time, Appreciation, Respect)

(I'll always want you part 2)

Synopsis: Ony was calling Y/N constantly these days, trying to always reach out to talk and say his piece. Y/N wasn't sure if she was ready for it.

C.W. Angst, Black coded reader, Drug use (weed). Song links used as reference.

Fanfic inspired by the following song.

Solange: Cranes in the sky

Link for part one here

Time had passed since your confrontation with Ony on that fateful night. The sting of betrayal still lingered, casting a shadow over your every thought and action. You still find herself unable to shake the memories of everything that took place between you and Ony and the raw emotions it had unleashed.

It's 2:30 AM. You lie awake, replaying the conversation with Ony in your mind. A part of you acknowledges he may be right, yet you find it impossible to converse without being overwhelmed by emotions.

You heard Annie out on her part to play in all this but not Ony. You didn't have class until 2pm today so you had enough time to sleep some more if needed. You got out of bed, stretched, went to your desk to journal to clear your mind.

You lit the candle on your desk, opened your journal and poured your feelings into it. The pen felt heavy in your hand, similar to how your heart felt in your chest. You wrote about the confusion swirling within you, torn between the logic of Ony's words and the ache of betrayal that still lingered deep within your soul. Memories flashed through your mind of happier times, of sad times and every moment in between. You knew you should hear him out but, you couldn't decide if you were ready or not.

You closed the journal and texted Sasha to see if she was awake. You needed someone to talk to. Sasha responded almost immediately saying she's in the area, so she'd be over in a few and she has Connie and Eren with her.

You sighed and responded. You went to your kitchen to make a quick midnight snack for you and your quests. 15 mins later, at your apartment is Sasha, Connie and Eren.

Connie: "Is it okay if I smoke in here. Between Uni, my music shit and other shit. I'm stressed out."

You: "It's cool. I do smoke sometimes, well used to with Ony. Speaking of Ony. He's been calling my phone nonstop.

*Turns to Eren* He said you've been on his ass about me. Eren the fuck you on boy.

Eren sighed "Look I'm just looking out for him. Ony is taking this harder that I've seen him take anything. Him and I go way back. Ony only shows up to class, messages me for some weed well hella weed. He aint even in the studio much either."

You knew Eren, Connie, Mikasa and Ony were music majors at Paradis University which you all attended. Eren was the lowkey producer type that makes beats to rival the greats. Connie is a rising hip hop artist and Ony is a cross between Trap Soul and Rap. Mikasa was the soulful girl with a beautiful voice. You knew Ony never missed studio time for nothing, so you knew he was struggling.

"When last did he show up." Y/N asked Eren with some concern in her tone.

"Probably 2 months ago before that it was 3 months before that. Look you don't have to force yourself to talk to him or bear his wounds or help him heal from the mess he made on his own. It ain't your job to, What I'm asking is if you can hear him out even if its 5 minutes if you can't then Imma tell him to drop it."

You sat in silence for a bit truly wondering what to do, so you turned to Sasha. "Honestly I want to hear him out, I do but I need more time. I know everyone thinks I forgave Annie so easy, but Ony and I had something deeper than Annie and I had even with our years of friendship. Ya we were fighting and at odds that time but..I know I'm being dumb cause Annie is just as responsible as he was. I just need to clear my head some more."

Connie took a toke of his joint and passed it to Eren then Eren to Sasha. Sasha pulled out her phone and connected it to the speakers in your apartment and started playing L.E.S by Childish Gambino. They all passed the joint around the room you took a few hits here and there. Eren was mindlessly scrolling through his IG to see Ony posted a 15 sec video on IG with a link in the caption to his YouTube to his latest track Amphetamine.

Eren blurted out with a bit of shock, "What the fuck, Ony just dropped a new song. It looks like he changed his artist's name from Ony to Soro. I mean he mentioned the change last time he came in the studio. Yo Sasha disconnect real quick lemme listen to this real quick."

Sasha disconnected her phone to allow Eren to pull up the track. " The song is almost 8 mins WTF is Ony on" Eren says.

The beat kicks in with this smooth, laid-back vibe that immediately hooks you in. Everyone's silent giving the track a listen.

" It's like an amphetamine, how it marinate on my mind (stuck on me, yah) Got no doubt I'll be alright, if I just make it through the night."

You can hear, almost feel the range of emotions in the song. You can hear Ony's voice pouring out his feelings. The beat changes around 2:48 seconds in giving a whole different vibe to the song.

"Shawty cold as December, I still fold her, no Manila B-b-b-brr wit me baby, I hibernate, smoke the lettuce."

Everyone was vibing with the song until they heard Mikasa's voice drop on the track around 4:28 Everyone a bit surprised since Mikasa doesn't easily do features even if it's with her friends. Connie laughed a bit "He got Mikasa on this with him. Damn he really went all out. Aye Eren aint this the same beat he said he didn't want around 5 maybe 6 months ago?" Eren laughed thinking back to when he played this beat for Ony, and he said he hated it. Ony owed him big time for this, but he'll circle back to it. As the song finished. You sat with your eyes full of tears. You thought to yourself that you could feel every emotion Ony sang about in the song. The loss of their relationship, his struggles with his mental health and so much more.

Connie was the first the chime in when the song ended "Damn that was.... deep." "Yah it was Ony really flipped the script on this one." Eren chimed in.

Eren got a notification that Ony was live on IG. He clicked on it. He saw he was talking about his just dropped song and other usual shit that's going on in his life.

Ony's eyes were the newfound usual shade of slight bloodshot red from smoking and hardly any sleep. He was reading off a comment asking him who inspired him to write the song. he responded with "Someone but also no one."

Ony's voice flowed through the speakers in your apartment causing Eren to disconnect his phone to watch the live a bit easier.

He commented saying "Fire track man, wish you'd let me know you were droppin a song man."

Ony read the comment out loud and smirked and said "Sorry man. I wanted it to be a personal project, but I owe you one big time for the beat."

Ony and Eren were engaging in their usual banter in the comments of Ony's Instagram live. You were deep in thought when Ony read aloud a comment from someone claiming his song was inspired by his ex-girlfriend. Ony and you had a semi-public relationship, which is due to his rising fame as a Trap Soul/rap artist.

Ony sighed, his mind drifting back to the last time he saw you in person, when you came to return his belongings from your place. He had seen you around campus since then, but it simply wasn't the same. His response was "It was inspired by pain. Pain of loss, loss of love, loss of hopes, loss of dreams. Loss of self. She's part of something I lost in my life."

Ony paused, his gaze drifting off as he recalled the bittersweet memories. He took a deep breath, trying to push away the ache in his chest as he continued, his voice laden with emotion. "So yeah, she's part of what I lost, but 'Amphetamine' is also about finding myself again. It's about reclaiming my voice, my truth, and pouring it all out into my music."

A faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips, though sadness lingered in his eyes. "Maybe one day she'll hear this song and understand. Understand that she's not just a memory, but a muse who ignited something within me, something I'll carry with me forever."

With that, Ony concluded, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air. The live disconnected indicating he ended it abruptly.

As the live session ends abruptly, the room falls into a heavy silence. You, sits with a mix of emotions swirling within yourself. Ony's words echo in your mind, resonating deeply with your own conflicted feelings. You can't shake the sense of nostalgia and longing that his music and words evoke. Sasha breaks the silence, her voice soft yet determined. "Y/N, are you okay?" she asks, her concern evident.

You took a moment to collect your thoughts before responding. "I don't know, Sasha," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

Sasha nods understandingly, her eyes reflecting empathy. "I get it. It's hard to hear someone express their pain so openly, especially when it's intertwined with your own." Eren chimes in, his tone reflective. "Yeah, but maybe that's what he needs right now. It's better than him bottling it up and tryna smoke it all away."

Connie exhales a puff of smoke, his expression contemplative. "True, but it's also a lot to unpack. Y/N, you don't have to rush into anything. Take your time to process everything, to figure out what you need and want. What Ony did was messed up"

You nod, grateful for your friends' support. "Thanks, guys. I think…I think I need some time alone to sort through my thoughts."

With that que, Eren, Sasha and Connie left your apartment. you walk through your apartment heading to your room, the melody of Ony's song still echoing in your mind. Your emotions even more confusing than when you talked to Ony earlier. You looked at the time. It was almost 5 am. You decided to shower and head back to bed, hoping to get some rest before class.

Your mind was restless, torn between Ony's latest track and his words during the IG live, you were conflicted. On one hand, you acknowledged missing him, but on the other, infidelity was something you could never condone in a relationship. You recognized a desire to listen to his explanation, yet you feared your heart might not endure his version of the events.

The weight of Ony's words hangs heavy in the air, suffocating your mind with intense thoughts. Alone amidst the dim glow of your bedside lamp, the words "Maybe one day she'll hear this song and understand." taunt you with the possibility of reconciliation and closure. You thought to yourself "How could I ever hope to understand the depths of his pain when my own wounds still bleed with the memory of his betrayal?"

Finally entering your room, you sink onto the edge of the bed, burying your face in trembling hands, desperate to silence the cacophony of thoughts threatening to consume you.

"Take your time to process everything, to figure out what you need and want." Connie's words echo faintly in her mind. With a trembling sigh, you rise from the bed, your steps faltering as you make your way to the bathroom. The steady stream of water cascades over your trembling form, washing away the tears that stain your cheeks.

"It's 5 am. I should try to get some rest before class," you think to yourself. Climbing out of the shower, your limbs feel heavy. Wrapping yourself in a towel, the fabric offers a feeble shield against the lingering chill. You dress slowly, abandoning your usual routine for the simple comfort of bed, seeking to calm your mind. Eventually, you drift into sleep, the confusion in your heart, perhaps even greater than before.

*Slight Time Skip*

You finished up her class for the evening, your Textile Science class drained your mind. you run into Eren, Connie, Armin and Pieck in the courtyard chattin it up.

"Yo, Y/N!" Armin hollered, his grin wide as he motioned for her to come over. You gave a small nod, casually strolling over as they kept chattin'. It helped take your mind off things for a sec.

"So, y'all ready for tonight?" Armin asked, his eyes sparklin' with excitement. "Tonight?" you echoed, feeling a bit lost.

Armin leaned in closer, speakin' low like it was a secret. "The party, It's goin' down at my place. everybody's rolling through." You thought about if Ony was gonna be there since going Armin's parties was one of their go to things as a couple.

You shifted uncomfortably, tryna come up with an excuse to bail but before you could say anythin', Sasha and Mikasa slid through, bringin' a burst of energy to the scene. "Hey, y'all!" Sasha greeted; her smile infectious as she pulled you into a hug.

Mikasa gave a nod, her expression serious as she peeped Y/N with concern.

"Y/N, you gotta come through tonight," Pieck chimed in, her voice smooth and persuasive. "You never show up to the parties, and it's gonna be lit." Y/N hesitated, caught between the comfort of being alone and the fear of missing out on the squad's vibe.

Just then, Ony strolled past, casting a shadow over Y/N's mood. She felt a surge of anger bubbling up inside, memories of their messy situation flooding back.

Armin, clueless as ever, turned to Ony with a hopeful grin. "Yo, you coming tonight, Ony?"

Ony glanced at you for a sec before turning back to Armin, his face unreadable. But before he could answer, you spoke up with fire in your voice. "I ain't showing if he's gonna be there," you stated, pointing your finger at Ony with a fierce look.

The air got heavy; the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. Y/N's heart raced as she waited for Ony's response. But instead of coming back at you, Ony just nodded quietly, his eyes holding a hint of regret before he dipped out.

You caught the concerned glances of your friends. You knew your emotions were a bit confusing being torn between wanting to hear him out, missing him then not wanting to be around him. Even though almost much time had passed, her emotions still felt raw.

You looked around to your friend group who was gauging your reaction to seeing Ony. Each stare, felt like a trap a push to make a decision you weren't ready for.

"I can't do this," you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper as you took a step back, your eyes darting between your friends and a mental escape route. Sasha's hand on your arm stopped you in your tracks, her grip firm yet gentle. "You can't run from this forever, Y/N, you're gonna have to address this or find the will to move on" she said softly, her eyes reflecting a depth of understanding. You stared at Sasha's face trying to gauge her facial expression and reaction "I know, Sash I know." you whispered hoarsely, your voice cracking with emotion. "But I'm not ready to face him, not yet. I don't know if I ever will be."

With that said you turned and left them there, briskly walking back to catch an uber back to your apartment.

----------------------------While you left-----------------------------------

Eren stared at Armin, scoffing with annoyance "Bro, how you gonna forget they ain't together no more? Ony straight up did her dirty with Annie."

Armin sighed and took a step back. "I know but they're both my friends and I want them both to be happy and come out more. guess I messed up by asking them out around each other. It's just that we hardly get to chill with both of them around, you know...it's tough."

Eren shook his head, his frustration evident in his furrowed brow. "I get that, Armin, but you gotta realize it's not just about them being happy. Ony really hurt Y/N, man. And seeing him around just brings back all that pain."

Armin's shoulders slumped in defeat, his expression reflecting the weight of his guilt. "I know, Eren, I know," he muttered, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I just... I don't know how to fix this mess."

Sasha, who had been listening quietly, spoke up with a sympathetic tone. "Maybe there's no quick fix, Armin. Sometimes all we can do is give them space and time to heal, you know?"

Connie nodded in agreement, his expression serious. "Yeah, sometimes the best thing we can do is just be there for them when they're ready to talk or when they need us."

Armin sighed; his gaze heavy with regret. "You're right," he admitted, a sense of resignation settling over him. "I just hope they both find their way through this, somehow."

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[omegalomania]

the full apple music interview with zane lowe is out! we got snippets of it when love from the other side dropped, but they finally rolled out the full thing. here are some highlights that stood out to me :)

patrick describes pete's lyrics as what gets him out of bed in the morning. if pete doesn't send him lyrics, he doesn't write a song.

andy and pete used to draw fake snake tattoos on each other using magic markers as kids omg?

so evidently patrick was the one who got covid during hella mega tour. and he hated it and he was miserable and that's when he called neal avron about the new record lmao

patrick says that joe was hesitant at first and he was the one who said that for this record he wanted to make something that they could all savor and spend time on and patrick was immediately on board with that

pete says patrick's job is to interpret him because pete calls his mentality a "little bit off" but patrick is capable of understanding him and translating it

patrick describes his and pete's creative relationship as "twin speak." it's not linear and it's like living in his brain a little bit. he calls it the "weirdest thing i've ever seen" when pete can just Tell that some words that patrick adjusted weren't ones he wrote despite not remembering writing them. patrick says he's gotten better at connective tissue and knowing how pete would say things

pete: back in the day patrick was like, "what's the difference between cry and weep i will KILL YOU. THEY'RE THE SAME THING. I'M GONNA KILL YOU RIGHT NOW."

zane says patrick's vocals are next level for this album. pete agrees that he kills it on this album and said he never would've expected that voice coming from him when they first met. zane says patrick could sing a recipe and it would be good. he then passes patrick a recipe and patrick. sings it???

patrick: i'm not gonna belt it. (starts belting) NINE INCH PIE PLATE ROLLING PIN

patrick says that pete doesn't mean to have rhythm to his words but there's a rhythm to them all the same and patrick can find this syncopation in his words and thinks it's amazing

more talking about patrick and pete's Magical Mystical Transcendent Soul Bond. patrick says "if we were one guy, we'd be an INCREDIBLE DUDE"

patrick and pete say that interviews with all four of them are hard because it's chaos and everyone's talking at once but it all makes perfect sense to them and no one else. zane says that sounds like fun flkjdfd [i agree please do this more it's a joy]

pete says joe really stepped up and wrote a lot for this record!

patrick: "joe is kind of a conundrum because he's this really talented...he's a brilliant writer, a brilliant player, but pete and i became the "team" and it wasn't really a plan, but that's just kind of how it happened. [brief tangent about the hiatus] we come back from the thing and joe is this fully-formed writer with a very distinct - he has one of the most distinctive writing voices. when i hear his parts, when i hear his ideas, i could pick them out of a crowd. like i know the way joe writes, and it's VERY joe." part of the process with post-hiatus was integrating him into the writing process more.

discussing the hiatus and fame and pete says his life kind of "blew up" and took it pretty hard. apparently during production for folie paparazzi actually broke down the gate to neal avron's house

patrick goes on a big tangent about how bad things got during the height of pete's fame. "part of my role is to tell his story. i'm a composer. that's what i like to do. i work on movies, i work on shows, and i work on pete. pete has a story that needs music, and if he's removed from himself, if he's not even able to access himself because he's behind all of this stuff, i don't have a story! so not only did i not have my buddy, which was heartbreaking in its own way, but then i also don't have a purpose as an artist."

patrick says that andy is always ready to play but when you get him happy to play, it's another level

"and trohman, there were these moments where he...he got so excited."

patrick describes writing what a time to be alive as wanting to write the saddest, most desperate song you could hear at a wedding. pete bursts into laughter and calls it "so twisted"

talking about other endeavors outside the band - patrick talks about composing and said joe's been super busy with his book and writing for tv and because there are so many deadlines for stuff like that, it's what hammered home to him that fall out boy needs to not be that. "there's something special about this that can't be...this has to be passionate and art."

discussing how scared patrick was of his own voice while the band took off. patrick was really scared of the song saturday at first because there are some really exposed vocal moments. he describes saturday as a song where everyone in the band lets each other go for it.

zane calls fall out boy the "emo blueprint" and says they were unapologetic in being emotional. patrick immediately says, "that was pete. i don't think we could've done that without him." he and joe were basically kids and patrick was too anxious to talk on stage.

zane says, "i remember interviewing you in the early days and i felt like every time i asked you a question i was bullying you." pete IMMEDIATELY loses his shit.

"in another life where i didn't have a pete...cause saturday, i did write most of that by myself...so there's a world where that song exists without the band. there's no world where i sing it in front of people without pete."

pete says every night before they put out a new song he calls patrick up and gets really scared and wants to back out and patrick talks him down every time

they talk about how scary it was when arm's race released and performing it at the amas. patrick starts laughing rly hard as they get into how there were giant crickets on stage and the crowd was just stone-faced and utterly nonresponsive and their stage manager was utterly panicked

towards the end patrick really loosens up and starts swearing more dlkfjdfd

[bisnes-socks]

the video you guys... maybe it's bc it's the middle of the night but i'm losing it

i've said this before and i'll say it again, i think käärijä is pretty much the most interesting thing that has happened in finnish music in a long long time. but that is of course a matter of opinion

what is not a matter of opinion is that in the last almost two years now, he has been the most famous person this country has ever seen. like idk how clear it is to international fans, but it's not normal in finland for a musical artist to have their own personal bodyguard go with them everywhere. he's talked about it yes, but like.. there is like a bend in reality around him in this country that you can only really comprehend when you stop to look at it.

and i've wondered two things. i've wondered if he knows how much he has done for people in this country. i've talked to people in their fucken 50s who have found the confidence to speak english in public because of him. i've seen the absolutely all encompassing effect he has had on the city of vantaa. ccc in esc truly united this country right after an election that tore us apart.

like.. we laugh about how finnish people care so much about what other people think about us. and all these stereotypes us finnish people believe as being the way we are seen. quiet, stoic, a bit unemotional, hard to read, depressed, weird with a quirky language no-one understands. imagine the impact of him showing the world a completely different side to us, that we all still recognise as OUR culture and something inherently finnish. him becoming so loved all around the world and in this country, not despite but because of things we have been culturally taught to be ashamed of. things he refused to be ashamed of, and he showed us. he has done SO MUCH for all of us, and i wonder if he knows.

and i've wondered how he has managed to keep it together through everything. like i said, there is no-one, absolutely no-one, who has had that level of attention in this country. and i wonder how has he stayed sane.

and the song and the video kinda answer these questions and it's as beautiful as it is heartbreaking. absolutely fucking killed me. so many things in that song i can relate to on a very personal level as well, but his story lives on a scale i could never even dream of. and so now i know. i know he knows but how he still can't feel it. and i know if he has stayed sane and he hasn't and i know how he's felt and. it. is. heartbreaking.

but at the same time i have to say how much i admire his decision to put it all in this song and make this song the lead single of the album. he continues to show us and i have so much not only love but fucking respect for him for that. fuck.

[ateez-himari]

Hi bb!!! I missed you so much :(((( I've been busy with exams so I haven't been active alot, I just hop in every once in a while to check if you posted anything💓

How have you been? I hope work and uni aren't too tiring

I had some questionssss as usualll

First question is kinda emotional cause i did cry over this, what was hima's reaction of yeontan's passing I honestly love yeontan so much and the bond he had with tae was literally so cute, I hope tae's coping well it's not easy to lose a beloved pet

How does mingi's relationship smell like, I really hope this makes sense or else I'd sound stupid

Now after mingri went public are there any couple choreography that was originally with san that became with mingi?

You know when hongjoong is spitting bars and jongho be hitting his amazing highnotes? I was wondering if it's the same thing for mimi

Are there any companies that hima regularly produces for? Not signed under jusr regualr clients

Can we get some mimi and mr and mrs song interactions I love their bond they're so cute🤭😭

That's it bb have a great day/night keep yourself warm, ily💓💓💓

Also saw these and Immediately thought of hima in the ephemeral collection

Hi sweet!! I missed you too, I was wondering where you went 🥺 (I figured you had your own stuff going on). I've been extremely busy with work and exams (I had 2 so far and 3 more to go!) but I'm also working on a side project for Hima (you won't expect a certain part of this trust me hehe). I'll give you a hint because I'm so excited; It involves someone she's never been seen interacting with, all they have in common is knowing a specific someone

• Hima often brings the group's pets over to her dorm when she has some rest days and basically helped raise Yeontan & Bam so when Taehyung first delivered her the news (in person) it didn't register in her mind. Yeontan had severe health issues so she figured it was going to happen, but it didn't make it easier on her. Since the grief from the accident quite literally destroyed her (as she didn't know how to deal with it) she's trying to see the bright side of it; even though he had health problems he still stayed alive for 7 years and brought light into their lives. She did put all the pictures with him in a separate locked folder for now to help with the grieving process

We literally watched Yeontan and Taehyung grow alongside each other, he was even the first dog idol ever! Hopefully he's getting the time and space he needs to grieve on his own terms

• Their relationship smells like an early spring morning after light rain fell during the night, no humidity, low heat, with the slightest warm breeze. There's hints of freshly bloomed flowers and small notes of cotton perfume

• They didn't make any changes to the pre-existing choreographies or units since some things are rooted in lore (i.e. nyang-teez partner work), but they've been creating more interactions between the couple! (So the next comebacks will have a lot more MinAri choreography hehe)

• It is! At times she's harmonizing with Jongho but there's also many instances where she hits high notes while Mingi is rapping (due to the contrast in their voices). There was only one song where she did the background vocals completely by herself (Halazia) while performing

• Most artists who she produces for come to her on their own (since they're mainly soloists) but the few companies who can be considered regular clients are H1GHR MUSIC, KOZ Entertainment and HYBE Corporation. Her current contracts are with KQ ENTERTAINMENT, RCA Records and Taemin (not BPM Ent.)

• I'll try to write some when I get the time! I'll give you a little now though hehe; When they visited his parents on their time off, the two were bickering in the kitchen about the best way to cook fish - which the mom heard once she came back with groceries - and she immediately defended her future daughter in law. She scolded her son about listening to the woman of the house and when he complained to his dad, he simply shrugged and praised the young woman's cooking, saying (jokingly) that he would adopt her to be his own daughter if Mingi wasn't dating her

• These designs are so pretty! They would fit right into the collection too. I kind of imagined the clothes to be really flowy to replicate the way a butterfly flaps its wings but the jewelry to be really fragile looking (kind of like glass) to represent the Ephemeral nature of them. That top is so beautiful though wow-

I hope you're taking good care of yourself and get some rest between your exams 😘 Don't overwork yourself and remember to take breaks! As usual thank you so much for your questions Mina, love you!!! 🩷🩷

[karlachismylife]

Five times Karlach and Soap didn’t celebrate Christmas together and one time they did

Through alternative universes and unfortunate fates. Brought to you by Modern Warfare OST I've been listening to instead of Christmas songs and this bloody perfect comission by @veeegaaas. I am deeply in love with their art style, the soft, often powdery or pastel colours and lines making it feel so touchable and comforting. My Christmas miracle this year is me being able to comission this piece, I gave them full artistic freedom and I am so happy I did. This is my heart here.

The way they're looking at each other makes me want to die a bit less.

CW: MCD (a lot), but happy ending, mentions and brief desciptions of self-sacrificing, coma, torture.

Frozen ground

Even the lower city of Baldur’s Gate feels like a shiny jewel when it’s covered in silver frost of approaching winter. Days closing in for the Solstice, early morning still feels like night, killed off and buried under the starless skies, thick smudge of fog and clouds painted over all celestial bodies. Karlach sniffles, cold air cutting into her nose like an icicle spell, and pats herself on her shoulders that are just starting to widen in a promise for her future massive build, once she’s all grown big and adult. Gortash noticed too, recently, told her he’s proud of her and is sure he made the right call picking her up from the dirt.

She sure as hell isn’t planning on proving him wrong, even if he sounds like a right prick when he gets all patronizing over her, as if they’re not friends.

SAS training is exhausting. There’s a part of Johnny that feels like turning into a mad rabid dog and falling on all fours to the ground to chew into the frozen soil, dirt mixed with ice crunching on bleeding teeth, last bits of sense escaping him due to sleep deprivation and bone-stinging cold. There are mere days before Christmas left, yet instead of warm lights and angels singing he’s only seen training ground’s cool floodlights and heard orders barked into the night, degrading words coming at the recruits in mist clouds from their CO’s mouth.

It's worth it, though. All worth it when he feels eyes blue as fine aged ice following his every move on the obstacle course – all worth being finally acknowledged as outstanding.

Her boots are cheap. Gortash promised her a new pair for the Winterday, probably already bought them and wrapped with a pretty bow on top – Karlach knows she’s already got a present for him, carefully chosen and clumsily packaged with a heartfelt postcard. The message inside is written by someone actually literate, but she dictated every word and put her signature underneath.

Who’s gonna tell him, thinks Karlach in the two seconds as she falls on the ice-covered cobbled floor, too slippery under her old worn boots with soles ground into nothingness by miles and miles of walking.

Who’s gonna tell Gortash there’s a present for him hidden under her pillow once she slips and doesn’t reach him in time to push them both out of the attacker’s way.

Who’s gonna tell him she tied a bow on it as red as the blood pouring from her cracked open skull.

Johnny doesn’t blame the poor lad who had probably frozen his fingers off long before they even reached this part of the drill. It’s cold, it’s so painfully cold that his own eyelashes crumble like hoarfrost on a wild pine tree that’s still waiting for someone to decorate it and put a blessed star on top, shining bright and pointing to the baby Jesus’s crib. It’s so cold that Johnny would’ve probably dropped the grenade himself if he wasn’t just so damn good with them.

Instead, Johnny drops himself, broad chest pushing against the threat and shielding others from a ticking death.

It’s so cold that his frozen, stale mind only has time to start regretting never finding a way to buy a Christmas gift for his Mam. As long as he remembers himself, he had always gotten her at least something.

His ID discs survive the explosion to hang at he very top of his Mam’s tree, right under the angel’s wings.

In the making

Soap has proved himself. Months of grueling training, years of hard focus on the task, unmatched persistence and constant pushing of his limits have lead up to this moment. Johnny passes the selection, having already earned his reputation, and even several seconds behind that Garrick prodigy can’t taint his triumph.

He’s the youngest candidate to pass it in British Army history, and this is his first mission under Captain Price’s command, a bright start of even brightest future. Johnny’s sun shines octilions of lumens, more than any light that came before him.

Like a hot-blooded dog freed from its leash, Soap pounces and returns with the cargo manifest countless lives depend on. Steel birds of prey tail him, deadly song of guns rattling behind his back, but he won’t let his grip on the prize slip.

A good hound doesn’t part its jaws clutched on the prey’s throat even in death.

Karlach’s heart is bleeding. Hell’s whips cut deep into flesh, drawing blood that boils immediately in the heat of war-soaked air of Avernus, flakes of sulfur ash clinging to the wounds to prolong her agony, but the pain Zariel’s minions can inflict cannot measure up to the one that’s tearing her up from inside.

Nothing hurts as bad as the shards of broken trust stuck in her chest, despair and betrayal spreading through her system like inflammation. Deep inside the young tiefling something precious is dead and rotting, poison and puss oozing out with blood and tears, throat too sore to cry out more. She’s akin to a wild animal butchered alive, dislocated shoulders screaming each time Karlach struggles against the restraints, mind set solely on freeing from this nightmare.

Zariel studies her acquisition and deems it ready. A red hot iron rod reflects in Karlach’s painfully wide open eyes.

It’s always several seconds. Precious moments dragging before the time strikes and he hears a beautiful melody of holy bells calling for the midnight mass. Old clocks ticking a few times while he waits for his turn to open the rustling packaging paper on a present. Four seconds setting him behind Gaz on the record list.

He’s only one second late to secure a grip on his Captain’s hand and avoid the destiny of a falling Christmas star.

Bering Strait is perfectly clear blue. Johnny’s eyes amalgamate with its cold, indifferent waves. Northern lights are his Christmas bells and Christmas lights now.

If John Price could, he would bring his body back home, but he can’t.

Pain has a way to make you confuse hot with cold, Karlach knows it well by now, countless burns in her throbbing skin feeling like there’s ice permanently etched into it. There should be a point when everything turns numb, that’s what they always said, but she’s been through so much and still feels a lot. Feels more than she would want to at this point.

Horrifyingly huge shears cutting into her sternum with a crunch of a festive caramel apple come as a relief.

Karlach’s heart aches even when it’s removed. She sees it, drugged on Devil’s spells and black opium of anguish, going still in a clawed hand, and then everything turns white.

Somewhere up there, on another plane of existence, it might be already winter. Fluffy blizzards throwing soft snowflakes into laughing children’s eyes, blinding them on a small hill they roll down from, clothes covered in snow and soaked, skin growing progressively numb from the cold – but not their hearts. Somewhere up there burning wheels roll down that same hill, celebrating Winter Solstice, and the druids keep children warm around huge campfires, pine and clove mingling with breathy smoke in the air.

There’s a fire burning in her chest, so tall than no one would be able to jump over it and cleanse for the new turn of the Year Wheel, and it still feels cold. Karlach’s fingers grow numb with no snowballs to throw.

She is nothing but a pile of ash, same as the Winterday campfire after a long night, after her body rejects Zariel’s engine.

We did it, soldier

If it wasn’t for the obvious matte colour showing under the timid sunrise of their victory, Karlach would believe that the ash carried by the breeze is a gently first snowfall, harbringer of upcoming winter and the festive joy it brings despite dark, unfit for survival nights. It’s been a long time since she’s seen snow, thin coats of crystal white on the rooftops and pavements seeming like a distant dream more than reality.

She does remember snow is supposed to feel cold, though. Nothing like the fever that makes the air around her quiver and ripple, mocking the uncalm sea waves bothered by fallen enemies and crashing into the dock that’s slowly starting to sizzle under her feet.

Engine’s finally cooked.

Karlach feels guilty for wanting just a little more time to pretend ash is, in fact, snow.

London is a big city, packed with money and even more – with a constant desire to earn more. Still, there’s something calming about seeing Christmas shopwindows in November. A very human hope to live long enough to see the day itself.

Task force 141 is there to ensure it happens for these people. Soap is there to protect Christmas from going out in a blazing hot fire of a terrorist attack.

The wire he’s supposed to cut is accordingly red; collect all red wires Johnny’s cut on duty – and you can weave a little Christmas garland, naked glint of copper insides mingling with the gold of ornaments and sparkly star topper. There is no cinematographic timer with a countdown, otherwise Soap could pretend the bomb is just about to douse them in confetti as the numbers hit all zeroes.

There are gunshots approaching from behind his back.

Friends are there to see Karlach’s radiant smile as she falls to her knees, succumbing to the flames. Shining brighter than the sun over this newly saved world, feeling warmer than a home’s hearth when the family lights a new fire for the new year and lets the old one burn out into a black spot, smouldering long into the new dawn.

Friends are there to watch Johnny spread Christmas red too early into the calendar, eyes full of wonder, devoid of anger and threat, staring up like a kid in a church. Trickle of blood frames his face like an expensive silk ribbon, only the best for the greatest gift people of London could receive so far in advance of the holiday season.

The city’s going to be alright.

Mind flaying

Karlach feels like her engine is still somewhere there, in her chest, now uncharacteristically narrow and devoid of all the muscle gain she worked for. Gone are the scars, testaments to her will to live; old steel grommets flayed off with the hot red skin; both horns fell off like that of a young deer before the upcoming winter.

But the fire that kept her blood hot and spicy like mulled wine is still dying its slow, drawn out, dishonourable death. Instead of a passionate flame, Karlach is just a fiery orange rim of a slightly warm coal now, breathing last breaths under the ashy skin of her new body.

That is, if she’s even still Karlach somewhere deep inside.

Johnny still looks like himself. His cheeks are undeniably chiseled now, jawline starvingly sharp instead of the adorable roundness everyone who knows him is used to; his mohawk is long gone, too hard to keep up in these circumstances; baby blue eyes stay closed and have lost memory of the happy crow’s feet that used to be permanently etched into their corners. But it’s still Johnny.

It's still his Mam’s wee lad lying there in the hospital bed, brain scans scarce with good news after a miracle – God himself standing between Johnny and the bullet as an early Christmas gift – allowed him to keep breathing even after getting shot straight to the temple.

Everyone in the family can see him silently withering away on that bed, but there aren’t many things as stubborn as Scottish hope.

Many things have already stopped worrying Karlach. Past passion, anger, fear, joy – seem less than distant memories now. She knows what they are, but her knowledge is as dry and flat as a library page, odorless ink burning up with no smoke, ashes so thin they barely leave a residue on fingers that smear them around.

When the campfire is already that weak, you just fall asleep, waiting for the brimming red somewhere in the centre to die down, and wake up in the morning to a completely cold pile of coal covered with untouched, senseless snow.

Karlach never notices when she slips away.

Johnny’s body responds less and less to things happening outside. At first his fingers twitched, stoking the fire of hope, at the sound of familiar voices. His heartrate responded to a loving touch, electricity in his system seeking a way to communicate through the barrier of his coma. The longer he stayed, the rarer became these answers.

They know he’s locking himself inside, disappointed in his inability to push through, like a stubborn kid throwing the towel after a particularly hard task doesn’t bend no matter the effort – Johnny’s never been one to give up.

His Mam knows he’s still fighting when they finally pull the plug.

Skullface

Karlach thinks of him, pulling the skull bandana further up her face in the cold November streets of London. She’s doing this for Johnny too – even if Soap would never approve, she’s doing it for the lad that’s been like a brother to her all the way, up until the day they split, deep ravine of incompatible views lodged between them by corrupt hands of those they both believed in. Molotov lights up nice and easy in her hand, liquid flame hitting a policeman kitted out into anti-demonstration gear.

It's for Johnny and all the other lads they send out to die not for regular people, but for the rich, powerful and utterly uninterested in what their profitable game of politics and war does to everyone else.

Johnny thinks of her, listening to the skull-faced voice in his ear in the cold November streets of Las Almas. He’s doing this for Karlach too – even though she went her own way, betraying what they both dreamed of and deemed righteous for the sake of her new worldview, the one that put them on the opposite sides without ever actually becoming enemies. C4 trap falls under the Shadows’ feet nice and easy, expensive PMC gear shattering into black shards with a splatter of a soldier’s blood.

It's for Karlach and all the other people whose lives will be ruined if Soap doesn’t get to the church and stop the goddamn missiles from starting something dangerously close to another world war.

Karlach knows they’re going to torture her, like they did to her other comrades, now rotting in prison, some with lesser time than others, health irreversibly damaged by the hands of so-called protectors. When they punch her till she barfs, she feels sorry for the brothers that were broken like this, ratting out her and her allies, signing empty protocols that would be filled with whatever the police needs. When they bag her horned head, she expects to be waterboarded like they did to others.

It's too late to cry out once she hears a dry chatter of a teaser. Karlach’s body only jolts twice before the pacemaker she earned in the military malfunctions and stops.

Johnny knows Ghost isn’t joking about what Narcos will do to them if they catch up faster than Shadows – videos or not, he’s seen the bodies first day he arrived here, and he doesn’t fancy looking like one of them when he leaves this rain-soaked place. Wouldn’t be the worst place to die, though, he thinks – at least he’ll come back on the Day of the Dead, sugar skull to match LT’s and all, right?

His one little selfish regret is that he doesn’t get a chance to see what’s under that skull before a lucky Shadow snipes Ghost from the top of the fence around the church. There is another bullet to guarantee they’ll stay in limbo that is the city of souls.

Together

Snow is falling in picture perfect, windless, snow globe manner, landing on their hair and immediately turning into little water droplets from the shared heat. Wherever eyes fall, there’s brilliant white, blue undertones of the tinies snowflakes neither of them is able to catch and hold.

Only makes more sense to hold each other instead.

Karlach’s tiger eyes burn brighter, reflecting warm yellow glow of the generously strung up lights on the giant Christmas tree they’re standing next to. At home, they unanimously agreed on a multi-coloured one, but the outside world is, as usually, much tamer than the artistic chaos that follows their shared life.

Was a hard enough task for Johnny to find a teddy bear extraordinary enough to suit Karlach – Clive has been getting lonely on the nightstand he’s permanently banished to in order to avoid getting kicked off the bed.

Karlach got him oil paint expensive enough to exchange for a wedding ring – her priorities as straight as their hair, both their outgrown hawks curling and shrinking the more they stand under the wet, warm weather snowfall.

They’re drinking each other as if it’s the only day of magical winter holidays they will ever get to spend together.

An invisible hand pushes them both at the same time, warm, slightly damp from the wet breath, lips locking in a sweet kiss, cinnamon and wine-soaked pear finding way to their tastebuds and forcing them to deepen the touch. Johnny breaks a second faster, strong arms wrapping tighter around her broad shoulders and waist and pulling Karlach in for a taste of festive desperation. An angelic chorus rings in his ears with the holy bells as he feels her toothy grin blooming into the kiss, giddy and unapologetically in love.

“We did it, soldier,” she whispers, opening her feline eyes just a little to admire the never-freezing waves of his gaze, shining against the sturdy dock of her flaming heart.

“Didnae even need tae steel mistletoe for that, aye,” Soap agrees, brushing his nose against Karlach’s. She’s trying to keep her cool so hard – her pulse is thrumming like crazy under his rough fingers splayed against her feverishly exposed back. “Let’s go home, lass. Ah’m fucking freezing mah arse even with ye in mah arms.”

“Wasn’t my idea to walk around in kilt when it’s bloody snowing, mate!”

“Aye, maybe ye’re gonnae say ye dinnae enjoy the view, too?”

People try to walk around them, rightfully scared to get pushed over on the slippery pavement as their fake argument gets heated and turns into hip nudging war. Loud laughter hangs in the air long after they pass, woven with mist into the twilight of upcoming wonder.

No matter the universe, no matter their fate, there is at least one world they’re together on Christmas.

[chososbabymama]

shybassist!choso x blk reader; MDNI!!

[CW// referenced child abuse, swearing, implied NSFW]

gege been deprivin us of choso content so i made my own !

this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks and i want it gONE

ShyBassistChoso who first sees you at a gig his band played at. it was at a local festival and your best friend was a huge fan of them and their lead singer, satoru. as soon as you had seen choso, something about him... intrigued you. the domineering energy that stemmed from his appearance was a complete opposite of his actions. as he fiddled with his base, it was almost as if he was trying to make himself smaller. you started to look a little harder at him. the way the cutoff t-shirt hugged his frame in a way that left you wondering what it looked like off. the way the dark material of the cargo pants made his legs seem miles long. but what mad you coo internally were the cute little twin pigtails that sat neatly atop his head. everything about the bass player made you want to know more. shoulders hunched in concentration, you couldn't help but peer even closer at him from your spot as he tuned and plucked the stings with an arousing expertise. as if he could feel your lustfully curious gaze, the man lifted his head and scanned the crowd before meeting your gaze. his dark orbs widened in surprise at your intensity. you've never been subtle about the things you want... and you thought it best to make that known. so you wriggle manicured fingers in his direction and flash a wide grin in hopes he'd respond. as soon as the man realized your attention was TRULY on him, his whole face flushed into the prettiest shade of pink you had ever seen before he looked back down as his bass and started to fiddle with it.. it was then you knew, you HAD to have him.

ShyBassistChoso who felt the heat of your gaze on him throughout the WHOLE set. at first he thought it was the heat from the stage lights, but as he continuously locked eyes with you between songs, the burning sensation in his ears hadnt gone away. you made choso nervous, and that fuckin terrified him. the last person he'd chosen to get romantically involved with had done great harm to him and his family (something choso didn't take lightly at all). so when you and your friend had gotten backstage passes to meet the band, his anxiety was through the roof. now that you were in their dressing room he had a better view of you and god you were just so fuckin pretty. the long floral skirt your wore had slipped down your waist a bit from all the movement in the crowd, revealing a sliver of your tummy. your two-toned black and red lips were coated in a generous amount of gloss. i wonder if she tastes sweet... choso swallowed hard, hands twitching with a fierce desire to touch. by the time you had introduced yourself to the other 4 choso had calmed down enough to stop his hands from sweating, but fuck his ears were still so red... you had stood in front of him with a warm smile on your face before sticking a hand out for him to shake.

'hi, im y/n. i really liked your set earlier! best show i've been to in a while.'

choso had quickly wiped his hand on his pants again for quick measure before grabbing yours. the soft pads of your fingers were a comforting contrast to his calloused palms, run down from years of practice.

'h-hi. im choso, i play bass... i really a-appreciate you coming, it means a lot to me- us! i mean us...'

choso once again felt his body grow warm as you threw back your head and let out a surprised laugh. your smile had gotten even wider as you stared at him with interested eyes.

'im glad i could make it then, i love supporting local artists. my best friend has a thing for gojo... as you can see'

you had pointed to the side where your friend was sitting next to gojo, LITERALLY twirling her braids as he spoke lowly in her ear. you roll your eyes fondly before turning back to choso, seeing him flicker his gaze up and down at you made your head tilt in confusion. what's he doing... his pigtails shook as he coughed nervously and reached to scratch the back of his neck.

's-so who are you... into... in the band?' he managed to make eye contact with you for all of 2 seconds before he shyly avoided your shocked gaze.

as you processed his words you took a mental assessment of the man in front of you. you could see this embarrassment had spread all the way to the back of his neck. from what you could tell during his time on stage, choso is a man filled with passion. seeing the way his eyes lit up during solos and accompaniments from his fellow bandmates was exhilarating. the way he expertly strummed his bass, it was almost as easy as breathing for him. he may not have been the lead singer, but choso dominated the stage in a way that made you wanna serve the pussy on a platter al dente.

ShyBassistChoso who as soon as the set was over, became... so fuckin soft? not in a toxic-masculinity kinda way! but in a overwhelming way that made you wanna scream and punch a wall. when the group began unpackin on stage, the crowd saw a small blur of pink hair zip through and fling itself on the platform.

'BIG BROTHER THAT WAS SO COOL!!!' you and everyone else in the building watched as choso easily slung his bass behind his back before opening his arms; catching a little boy with pink hair, wild eyes, and the cutest smile on his face.

everyone audibly coo'd at the sweet display, watching the little guy wrap his arms around his brothers neck and nuzzle into him. the look that choso gave his little brother was a sight to see. eyes once filled with adrenaline held nothing but fondness for the pinkette in his arms. cocky smirk falling into a small gentle smile, booming vocals being replaced with a deep gentle tone filled with love. choso was responding to his brother with matched enthusiasm, ruffling his hair before putting him on his shoulders and continuing to unpack while entertaining the little guy. it was something that filled your chest with warmth, watching the way choso handled the boy was enough to want to know more.

he's a family man... i could provide....

even now as you maintained conversation with choso, you could tell he was still keeping a watchful eye of his little brother bouncing around the room. is wasn't long before he made his way back to his brother, climbing and getting comfortable on choso's lap. he looked toward you with wide eyes, looking at you with a sense of wonder you only see in children. he quickly fixed a bright smile on his face and stuck out a hand.

"hi! im yuuji, choso's my big brother! you're really pretty, are you a gift from god?" the way he was completely serious...

you had covered your mouth to conceal your amusement, but choso could see your wide smile no matter how much you tried to hide it.

"no sweetheart i'm sorry, im not. why would you think that?" you giggled, yuuji really was adorable. you bent down to meet his gaze and tilt your head in fond confusion.

he raised his finger up and spoke with childlike authority,

"well uncle 'toru said that pretty people like him 'could only be a gift from god' so i thought you must be like uncle!" your head jerks back in surprise and you laugh as choso whips his head to glare at his bandmate (satoru was pointedly ignoring choso and he continued to speak casually with your friend... is he starting to sweat..?).

"i-i'm so sorry... sometimes i'm not there to monitor what they say around him. they love him no doubt... but gojo is the most unserious person i've ever met, so i can't say im surprised honestly."

choso had begun to laugh with you and yuuji had decided to entertain himself by playing with some drumsticks he picked up. as you watched choso reposition his brother to make sure he was secure you decided to answer his question.

"well... to answer your question-" choso's head snapped up quickly and he gazed at you eagerly... how cute.

"-im into this one guy in your band. tall... dark hair... really good with music..." choso slumped slightly, thinking you were referring to suguru, the drummer. untill he heard you continue,

"he also has the coolest tattoo across his nose and the sweetest little brother who called me a 'gift from god', i was actually thinkin about askin for his number, you think i have a shot?"

ShyBassistChoso who had once again flushed, but this time he was not nearly as nervous. he'd always been someone who valued his family more than anything, found included. his ex-partners had never completely understood that about him. and poor yuuji would try his best to get along with those people, but children aren't stupid. they know when they're not wanted. choso's last boyfriend had been particularly nasty, saying terrible things to yuuji and even going so far as to threaten him with physical violence in order to damage their relationship. after that, yuuji had changed. he was withdrawn and would hold himself back, not wanting get in the way of his brothers happiness. it came to a head when choso came home early to see his ex push yuuji to the ground, he'd raised his hand the smack the boy too but by then choso had flown forward and beat the shit out of the man. his ex tried to excuse his shitty behavior, citing several times that yuuji was a bother but choso wasn't having it. told the bastard to get out of his house and never come back (choso had taken all his ex's stuff out the apartment and burned it in a fire before sending him a picture of it an blocking his number, but not before taking the bastard to court and pressing charges).

ShyBassistChoso who watched you ruffle yuuji's hair (with his permission of course) with the softest smile on your face. you were usually awkward with kids, but yuuji was easy to talk to. seeing you with him made him feel...warm.

after all, he IS a family man....

maybe it was too early to say, but something about the way that you handled yuuji made him soft in ways he couldn't really explain. maybe things with you could be good. better, even. ever since that last bastard choso has done everything he could to make sure yuuji knew that nothing was more important than him... but maybe there was room for one more? choso closed that part of himself off a while ago, but meeting you has given him a small sense of...hope? yuuji had begun to play an interesting game of patty-cake (that he totally didn't just make up) with you, and you were gladly entertaining him.

ShyBassistChoso looked towards you and decided that he was done shying away from new possibilities. he smiled in your direction,

"yeah.. i think you have a real good shot."

THE END

[not-goldy]

God I can't really stand JK anymore.

Everything regarding him went a downhill since 2023. The way he behaved changed a lot.. LIKE A LOT now he's way cockier as if no one in the whole world can top him and he doesn't need to listen to anyone giving even good advises, how he used to present himself and looked changed drastically now he looks like a junkie, how he used to perform changed so much now he doesn't half half the energy or stage presence and doesn't give af about making mistake a ton times while before he used to perform with extreme perfection. He's listening to their PR teams too much like where did I go live when I miss fans went ? Now he's listening to their cheap promo tricks. His work ethics is completely opposite from what BTS was.. he's working with payola king of the whole industry and buying success. Releasing a 100 version and a western collab with some B grade pop artist. The songs he releasing are basically shit now when he used to release magic shop, film out, your eyes tell and still with you kind of gems.

The ONLY thing connecting me to him now is Jimin. There's no way to avoid JK when you are a Jimin stan. But i'm WAITING for the day Jimin finally open his eyes and get out of this toxic relationship so I don't want to put up with him anymore.

You see, your problem is that Jungkook is not Jimin. That's your problem. Half way through your comment, I smiled to myself and I thought well this Anon would certainly love Jimin then if these are the qualities they looking for in an idol. only to get to the end of the Ask to find out you actually do like Jimin💀

That complicates things for me.

Where should I even begin

There's nothing wrong with having a preference. There's nothing wrong with having a bias.

I'm not gonna come for your throat on this.

You prefer Jimin's work ethics and prefer how seriously he takes his public relations, how he puts on effort and that's alright.

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO HATE JUNGKOOK just because he's not YOUR PREFERENCE.

If you keep that up you and I gon have a problem.

Do I think Jungkook can take a page or two out of the Jimin idol manual? Sure.

As much as I looove seeing Jungkook live his life on his own terms not giving a fuck what anyone cares- some times, in certain areas I do think he could use that self regulation.

Yet on the other hand, I don't find Jimin's over regulation appealing either. I've ever said his kumbaya persona, caring too much what others think, trying to be perfect, self regulated, evolved, controlling his words, his attention, being overly polite, smiling when he should be cussing people out all in the name of his consciousness of the fact he is an idol really REALLY FRUSTRATES ME.

Jimin struggles with this. The never mind tattoos, the song lyrics yearning for freedom, set me free- where do you think that comes from?

I don't know how we can call ourselves stans and not sense some of these things: the members constantly telling him not to care what people would think, to do whatever he wants,- even Jungkook openly reminding him HE IS AN ADULT and shouldn't care about certain things.

Jungkook is good for Jimin and Jimin is good for Jungkook.

Jimin is the leash and restrain Jungkook needs and Jungkook is the freedom Jimin craves.

Please don't come for jikook I'll paint you and it ain't going to be pretty.

Also remember, this is a human being you are talking about. He is not an alien. He is human just like you. That vitriol and animosity towards him is so not necessary.

I can't help you unhate him.

But please, be a good human.

He is a relatively young man navigating overwhelming situations. I personally think going solo has taught him so much and there is much more he'd learn along the way.

And please, it's slander to say he half ass his performance- have you seen his tiktok? THE THIBGS HE CAN DO WITH HIS WAIST- MY GOD!

Oh and did you see Tae's smoke challenge? I may or may not be addicted to the part he wines his waist- lolay lolay lolay

Sorry I had to go and watch that clip again.

Liste, the point I'm making here is, It's his journey and his choice to decide the type of idol he wants to be. You may like it or you may not. That's a you problem. However he's responsible for his own reputation and his own success in the industry and I think he is still learning to hone his values and filter his choices through those values.

Give that man a break .

AND FREE JUNGKOOK.

Peace out

[hoffmanxfurthermore]

Deadly Fun

Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman x reader.

Content: stranger sex, hookup, present day, knife play, afab reader, p in v penetration, oral (f receiving), KNIFE PLAY(like seriously don't read if you're sensitive to stuff like this)

Word count: 1.8k

Author's Note: holy crap I write something other than Mark Hoffman what? So this takes place present day, in the age of cell phones and dating apps. This is slightly inspired by a tiktok i saw a while back of what Patrick would be saying if American Psycho took place present day. Also a while back I read a fanfic, can't remember who wrote it, of Patrick getting mad at something and using a knife on his partner. So also slightly inspired by that too. Enjoy! Also peep the Ice Nine Kills reference.

It's a hot Thursday afternoon in June, and you find yourself alone in your apartment, craving something different. Something that would push your boundaries and satisfy your deepest desires. As you scroll through a certain dating app in your phone, you come across the profile of a man named Patrick, a 27-year-old with dark brown hair and a slender build, dressed in a nice business suit. Swiping right on his profile, you're immediately met with "it's a match!"

Never being one to send the first message, you place your phone on your bedside table and crack open a book. Within seconds, your phone buzzes with a new message.

The more you two message each other, the more your interest is piqued. After agreeing to meet at his place, you change your clothes. The lazy sweats and big t shirt come off, replaced with a black cocktail dress, black stockings, and a pair of black pumps. You spend an hour on your hair and makeup, hoping to make the best impression on Patrick.

Texting him that you're on your way, you climb into your Uber that takes you across town to his apartment. Upon arrival, you remove your shoes at his request.

His apartment is spotless, not a spec of dust on any surface, his furniture arranged perfectly, like a model home for selling. If you'd stepped into this place with no one else here, you wouldn't think someone actually lived here.

Patrick leads you to the nice leather couch, pouring you a glass of red wine, which he delicately places on a coaster upon the coffee table. In person, he is even more handsome, making you nervous. His warm brown eyes have your knees weak as you converse with him, just getting to know one another.

Standing up, he makes his way towards the huge stereo system on the other side of his living room. It's old fashioned, you hadn't seen one like that since the one your father had when you were just a kid.

"Do you like Ice Nine Kills?" He asks, holding up a disc as he switches the stereo on.

"Not really," you admit. You never really got onto the whole metal scene. All the screaming just made no sense to you. You're more of a softer, easy listening type of girl.

"Their early work was a little bit too scene for me, but when The Silver Scream came out, I think they really came into their own. Commercially and artistically. The whole album has a refined, melodic sensibility that really makes it a cut above the rest."

Clicking a few buttons on a remote control as he sits back next to you, he smiles at you as a song begins playing. Not your thing, but you listen attentively, giving it another chance. It's a track you haven't heard before.

"Is this about that movie, Saw?" You ask as the song is about half over.

"The Jig Is Up," he smiles at you, "my favourite song on the album."

His charming smile and intense gaze send shivers down your spine. You two sit on the couch, chatting and flirting, and the tension between you builds with every passing minute. As the wine flowed, so too did your inhibitions. Your heart races as you lean in closer, your breath warm on Patrick's neck.

"I've been wanting this all night," you whisper, your lips brushing against his ear. "Take me, now."

Patrick seems taken aback by your sudden advance, but nonetheless, he smiles.

With a growl, Patrick pulls you onto his lap, crushing your mouths together in a passionate kiss. Within seconds, your dress is unzipped and pulled off of your body, leaving you in only a pair of black lace panties and matching thigh-high stockings. His hands roam over your body, squeezing your breasts and pulling at your nipples roughly. You moan and arch your back to offer yourself to him. Your hands fumble with his belt, desperate to free his throbbing cock from the confines of his trousers.

In one swift motion, Patrick stands up, lifting you as if you weighed nothing. He carries you to the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him. The wine is left forgotten as you fall onto the bed, a tangle of limbs and hungry mouths. Patrick's hands wander, exploring every inch of your body. He cups your ass, squeezes your thighs, and traces the outlines of your pussy through your soaked panties. You undo his tie, throwing it to the ground as you frantically start undoing the buttons of his shirt.

"Watch it," he snaps, jumping off the bed, "it's a Dunhill. Very expensive." Scooping the tie off the floor, he folds it neatly before placing it onto the dark wooden dresser that rests along the wall. You watch as he slowly undresses, till he's wearing nothing but his skin. Your eyes scan his body, slim and toned, as you lick your lips and stare at him with your "fuck me" eyes.

Climbing on top of you, his lips make contact with your neck, causing a small whimper to escape your lips. Taking that as encouragement, his teeth nibble at the sensitive skin of your collarbone.

"Fuck..." You gasp.

Writhing beneath him, you feel desperate for release. With a wicked glint in his eye, Patrick reaches into the drawer of the bedside table, pulling out a knife. Your eyes widen at the sight, your breath quickening as a mix of fear and excitement courses through your veins.

"Trust me..." he whispers.

Patrick runs the sharp edge gently down your bare chest, following the curve of your breasts before sliding it lower, teasing your taut stomach.

"You have no idea how much I've thought about this," he whispers hoarsely, his breath hot on your skin. "Seeing that look in your eyes as I play with my knife, it drives me wild."

Whimpering, your body trembles as Patrick lightly drags the flat of the blade over your sensitive nipples, teasing them to hard peaks. The cold steel contrasts with the warmth of your flesh, sending shivers of anticipation down your spine. You squirm, desperate for more. Patrick obliges, dragging the knife slowly down your body, over your belly, the tip dipping beneath the waistband of your panties.

With slow, deliberate movements, Patrick slides the knife under the elastic, slicing through the fabric with ease. The sharp tip of the knife grazes just above your clit, causing you to gasp. You lift your hips, helping him remove the shredded remnants of your underwear. The stockings stay on your legs, and Patrick takes a moment to admire the view.

Leaning down, he places a soft kiss on your inner thigh, his warm breath caressing your sensitive skin. Moaning, your hips buck involuntarily as you crave his touch. Patrick smiles against your skin, the knife still in his hand, as he drags the tip lightly down your slit, spreading your wetness.

"Such a delicious sight," he murmurs, his voice thick with desire. "Your pussy is so wet and ready for me, baby."

With that, he plunges his tongue into you, licking and sucking at your swollen clit while a single finger enters your dripping cunt. Crying out, your hands tangle in his hair as you pull him closer. The combination of his skilled tongue and the danger of the knife heighten your senses, taking your pleasure to new heights.

As your impending orgasm builds, Patrick adds a second finger, stretching you, filling you.

"You're so tight.. fuck..." he grunts between licks.

He pumps his fingers in and out, scissoring them to touch every sensitive spot. You arch your back off the bed as you moan, pleading for more.

"Please, don't stop," you beg, your voice hoarse with need, "I'm so close, Patrick, you're gonna make me cum... please make me cum..."

Obeying your demand, Patrick increases the pace, adding a third finger to stretch your pussy further. He curls his fingers, searching for that magic spot, and when he finds it, you scream. Your body shakes uncontrollably as wave after wave of pleasure washes over you, your orgasm more intense than anything you have ever felt before.

But Patrick isn't done yet. As you ride out the waves of your orgasm, he positions himself between your legs, ready to claim you with his cock. With one smooth thrust, he penetrates you, filling you completely. You gasp as your eyes roll back in your head, feeling his length buried deep within you.

Patrick begins to move, slowly at first, pulling out until just the tip remains inside before slamming back into you. Raising your hips, you meet his thrusts with your own, your nails digging into his back as you whine for more. The sound of your flesh slapping together fills the room, along with the grunts and moans of pleasure.

Reaching down, Patrick picks up the knife, pressing it gently against your throat as he fucks you hard. The cold steel contrasts with the heat of your joined bodies, providing a deliciously dangerous sensation. Staring at his face with wide eyes, your breath hitches in your throat.

"That's it, baby," Patrick growls, "Take it all. My cock... and my knife.... they're yours."

The passion escalates as Patrick quickens his pace, thrusting harder and faster. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper still. You can't get enough, you want more.

"Cum for me," you cry out desperately, "Fill me with your hot load."

Your words send Patrick over the edge. With a roar, he releases, jetting his warm cum deep inside you. Feeling his cock pulse as he cums triggers another orgasm deep within your core. Your bodies shudder together as you ride out the intense release. The knife, resting beside you, now forgotten as your passion consumes both of you entirely.

Collapsing onto your heaving chest, Patrick gasps for breath, his spent cock still buried inside you. Running your fingers through his hair, matted with sweat, your body glows with satisfaction.

"That was..." you begin, struggling to find the words.

"Incredible," Patrick finishes your sentence, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder.

"I knew you'd be intense," you giggle, "but this..." You gesture towards the knife on the bed. "I didn't think I'd be into that."

A smile plays on your lips as you trace the contours of Patrick's strong back.

"There's more where that came from," Patrick promises, his tone laced with lust, "Much more."

And as you lie there, sated and spent, the night was still young, full of endless possibilities and untamed pleasures yet to be explored.

Patrick quickly rises and begins dressing.

"You need to go, I gotta go do something." He looks determined. Like he's about to be late for something.

"What is it?" You ask, confused at his sudden change of tone.

"I have to return some videotapes."

[heavy-metal-lover-girl]

🦇 the matthew patel playlist: a song-by-song breakdown

youtube music version (i usually use youtube instead of spotify)

hello matthew patel nation. how we feelin. since i'm incapable of liking this man normally, i made an in-depth playlist for him!

i've had a great time making playlists using the character playlist challenge by elijah menchaca. my choices follow the list and three rules included in the challenge: 1) one song per artist only, 2) one song per aspect/trait/relationship, and 3) eight songs minimum. i highly recommend it if you want to make in-depth and polished playlists for your favorite characters and ocs while also avoiding anything cliche.

my infodump/breakdown on this playlist (plus a Bonus playlist) can be found below the cut!

this playlist has a mix of songs that could be considered period accurate (pre-early/mid 2000s) and songs that aren't. but also we're talking about the scott pilgrim franchise so it's really not that serious.

my goal was to make a playlist that both fit his character/backstory and what i think he'd listen to, and i think i succeeded. all of my choices are based on a combo of each main depiction of matthew - in the comics, movie, and anime. this tracklist can apply to each one. this tracklist is also a combination of songs i've seen in other matthew playlists + songs i've picked out myself.

here are my choices for matthew's playlist + my reasoning:

1. their theme song: matthew patel by anamanaguchi and joseph trapanese

it's his theme song from spto! pretty self-explanatory. i love his silly lil leitmotif <3

2. how they view themselves: the ripper by the used

time takes us all so why am i not just living for today? time takes us time takes us all will i die right now? i'm only seconds away time takes us

this is one of the first songs in this playlist that has abstract lyrics. sure, matthew is not an actual mass murderer, but it's clear that he views himself in a similar edgy light. that's the kind of image he wants to portray. plus, i think the decisions he makes in canon have a reckless attitude of "fuck this, i have nothing to lose." that's what this track sounds like.

3. how they view the rest of the world: toxicity by system of a down

you, what do you own the world? how do you own disorder, disorder? now, somewhere between the sacred silence, sacred silence and sleep somewhere between the sacred silence and sleep disorder, disorder, disorder

here's another track with abstract lyrics. the lyrics of toxicity are cryptic to the point where there are probably a ton of different interpretations of what they could mean. in matthew's case, he would agree with the song's general critique of modern society, even if he might not 100% understand what's going on (both with the song and the world in general). with everything he's gone through, he's definitely wondered how he could own disorder.

4. a song about their relationship with another character: black bubblegum by the dillinger escape plan

i had gotten frozen by the way you walk by the love that you gave, by that look on your face it's a cover-up i know everything, i know everything you're made for four-letter fame regret is part of your name it's something you couldn't tell it's what you wanted to feel it's what you're dying to feel

the sound of this track fits matthew to a t, especially with greg puciato's vocal delivery. dillinger esc plan's lyrics have a similar cryptic quality to them, but the lyrics to black bubblegum are clearer compared to their other tracks. they fit matthew's relationship with and disillusion/disdain towards ramona. plus, there's the underlying yearning and obsession if you squint. it's really fun imagining matthew loving this track and getting jumpscared when he looks into the rest of dillinger's catalogue. <3

5. a song about what they want: give 'em hell, kid by my chemical romance

if you were here, i'd never have a fear so go on, live your life but i miss you more than i did yesterday (you're beautiful!)

come on. i HAD to put an mcr track in this playlist. i think matthew would connect with the three cheers era the most. the edgy hopeless romantic in him definitely self-projects onto the story of the demolition lovers. i'm saying this bc i've done that too as a big mcr fan. in general, give 'em hell, kid describes how he yearns for a life larger than what he has with someone that he loves, whether that's ramona or someone else. (matthew self-shippers unite!!)

6. a song about what’s important to them: funky galileo by sure sure

and i've been feeling so pent up like an ocean in a bathtub nobody seems to understand they're calling me an evil man when all i wanna do is dance

compared to the other songs in this playlist, this feels a little more unorthodox. but i have my reasons for it. this track has an awkward funk to it, and i mean that in a good way. yes, the song is literally about galileo and is written in his perspective, but matthew definitely has the same attitude as the lyrics. sure sure describes the first verse in this way: "everybody is giving him shit for his ideas, but he figures he’ll simply keep grooving in isolation til he dies." behind all the goofy shit that matthew does, there's a desire to prove everyone wrong and keep going.

7. a song about what they hate: glass: half-empty by hail the sun

fuck this anyway do i have to learn to live craving more than i'm given? fuck it all anyway i will never be appeased i don't know what's wrong with me i will never be appeased

if hail the sun existed in 2004, matthew would love them. i think he would view their combination of math rock and emo as mindblowing. in canon, we don't get an in-depth view of his insecurities, but i think they sound exactly like this track.

8. their Ass-Kicking Song™: bollywood by anamanaguchi

another one of his canon theme songs, this time from the sp video game.

9. a song about an event in their life: von dutch by charli xcx

it's so obvious i'm your number one i'm your number one, i'm your number one i'm your number one, yeah, it's so obvious i'm your number one, i'm your number one i'm your number one, yeah, it's so obvious

look!! it's right there!! he's literally number one! von dutch gives me the same vibes as his boost in confidence after taking gideon's place in the anime, but it could also apply to his confidence in general. matthew switches between dwelling on his shortcomings and feeling like the hottest shit in the world like whiplash.

also, the people have spoken. he would listen to it. idk i just think he would love charli. real recognizes real.

10. their “origins” song: down, set, go by underoath

i'm a half-wit boy cracking a smile and wearing it all on my sleeve so cool and so poised it's true, i'm just around to see where this thing goes, i'll never know but all i know is packing bags is a remedy, is a remedy

system of a down and underoath are probably the heaviest bands that matthew has ever listened to. he hasn't gone into the deep end yet, so this is the most that he could take. the lyrics align with the naivete and angst he experienced when he dated ramona and got dumped, especially with the callout at the end repeating, "you're not here with me! you're not here with me!"

he took it pretty badly.

11. their end credits song: out in the twilight by tally hall

stone & glass, everything balancing every saint has a sin won't it last? resident present i don't even want to ask all the light is low where the time will go all i know is that i can see anything out in the twilight

according to bryan lee o'malley, none of the evil exes died. after getting defeated by scott, they each respawn back at their homes and "(learn) their lesson." we never see what this looks like. the closest thing we get to that is seeing what becomes of them in spto, and even then, that's a completely different timeline of events. either way, whether we're talking about comic/movie matthew or series matthew, he puts his past behind in some way or another. scott pilgrim has different portrayals of the gray area between what is good and evil, since no character is a saint. out in the twilight speaks to this theme while also talking about the importance of acknowledging the past and letting it go. in comparison to the other characters, matthew did not commit the worst sins at all. he has the ability to redeem himself from the immature decisions he made and learn from them. i think that no matter what iteration of the story we're talking about, matthew can get over ramona and move on with his life. we saw him do exactly that in spto.

also i just know that matthew loves tally hall. it's peak theater kid music to me.

p.s. there are a lot of tracks that were contenders for his character playlist that didn't make the cut. i've also just found a lot of songs that i think he would listen to in general. the playlist below is where i've dumped them. suggestions are welcome! send them to me

youtube music version

to anyone who got this far: thank u so much for listening to my rambling about this goober!! i appreciate it and i hope u did too 🎉

[pardonmydelays]

what do you love the most about twenty one pilots?

i fucking love this question, but there's no easy answer to it. i guess i'm gonna have to try tho, because sometimes i feel like maybe some of you don't really understand WHY i totally changed my entire blog when clancy came out (it's kinda like me loving this band was my biggest secret for such a long time, idk. i still remember how a few months before it i've mentioned something and anix literally yelled at me like "WHY THE FUCK YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU LIKE TWENTY ONE PILOTS" lmao. anyway).

first of all, no one has ever made me feel so seen and understood. there's real magic in tyler joseph's lyrics, you might hate me for what i'm about to say right now, but speaking of tortured poets - for me it's not taylor, it's tyler. and the scariest part of it all is that i very often relate to his lyrics. but that's also beautiful - it's therapeutic in a way. so when clancy came out and i realized i relate to pretty much EVERY song on this record, i just thought to myself, oh lord, how did i survive this long without their music. it's always been them for me. i will never abandon them again, i swear.

second thing, the lore. you all know i'm a slut for stories told through music (*cough* musical theatre *cough*). also, if the plot of the story is complex and weird as fuck, there's a pretty big chance it will become my favourite thing in the world. the entire lore is an insane metaphor for mental health struggles so, obviously, i can find a part of myself in it. i would die for their lore, honestly. it's all i can think about. and clancy will always be my fucking blorbo.

another thing i love a lot about them, and it's something you don't really see if you don't watch their interviews or live performances, they are literally just two dudes. both josh and tyler have always been very anxious and awkward and weird and that's what makes them more human in my opinion - just two fucking idiots who are best friends, lmao. they are so relatable in every possible way. they are also the funniest dudes in the entire world. and their friendship is so fucking beautiful. the only difference between us and them, truly, is that they are extremely talented and they have their own band.

also, they care about the clique so fucking much, this was probably mentioned on my blog before (maybe even today in a previous ask). they don't care about the charts, about awards, about anything really, all they care about is their music and fans. they don't do it to be the best band in the world. they do it to save lives - our lives as much as their own (if it wasn't for this music i don't know how i would have fought this). and that's what makes them different and honestly, better than the other artists.

they are also pretty much unproblematic. i wasn't really sure if i should mention that, but i feel like i need to. tyler joseph made one stupid mistake a few years ago - the way people reacted to this still breaks my fucking heart. he realized he was wrong tho, he apologized. the other day i saw a post here on tumblr about how he's fucking problematic and racist and the worst man on the planet etc etc. can we... fucking stop, please. it was just a stupid joke and he knows it was dumb and unnecessary. most people wouldn't even apologize, but he did. end of story. i will defend him with my life (not saying he is perfect, but shit, if you want to cancel him for one mistake maybe you should look at yourself first).

i feel like there are thousand different reasons but i'm just gonna stop here, because it's too fucking long already and no one will read it anyway.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

He put crack in this song.

Does anyone else sit with the fact that, besides the choir, every voice heard on Set Me Free Pt 2 belongs to Jimin?

(Jimin, the man you are...)

You know, I used to wonder why Yoongi chose Tony Montana as the song to have Jimin rap on. This was way back, when I didn't really pay attention to Jimin, and I felt Jimin should be the last person to feature on a track like that. Tony Montana is one of the most disgusting songs in Yoongi's discography. It's so nasty. I'm talking gutter trap, filthy distortion... not even Yankie (the original featuring artist) could do that beat justice, and that's the song Yoongi gave Jimin.

Yoongi knew...

(He's an animal)

Yoongi knew that Jimin would work magic on a track like Tony Montana, and be fully in his element. Jimin is very similar to Yoongi in that way, and this is even more clear after SMF Pt 2. Yoonmin both use autotune to represent the voices in their heads, to colour whole personalities, to exhibit their alter-egos, both benevolent and malicious. Yoongi's mastery of that tool has only enhanced his credibility as an MC, and if there's any member who can one day match Yoongi's proficiency in using that stylistic tool, it's Jimin. Because already, with his first ever song as a solo artist, Jimin has painted such an arresting picture using that tool.

When SMF Pt 2 first dropped, I thought there were only two voices in the song: the autotuned voice saying Jimin's inner thoughts, and the normal voice singing the topline of the song. Now, I hear four distinct voices:

The voice representing reckless ambition - “I never stop, I never stop / Ah yeah, ah yeah”

The voice representing impatience and anger - "Hey fool, just get out of my way / Shut up, fuck off / I’m on my way"

The voice representing the exponent - "Enemy / Better be"

The voice representing clarity, acceptance, and triumph - "날 비웃어도 멈추지 않아"

Even with the autotune, Jimin uses it in three very different ways to express three different voices in his head - all of which are wholly Jimin, but he closes off the whole affair in his own voice, the one that's least processed on the song, the voice that represents his triumph and determination to forge his own path.

(Called it)

It's been weeks and I'm still obsessed with Jimin's delivery of those voices. His voice is addicting. No member in BTS can sing "Fuck all your opps" the way Jimin does.

Speaking of opps...

I've seen your asks about our old friend, William, and I haven't responded because a big part of me doesn't care. I don't want to be dismissive of the people who are angry that William excluded ~100k units in sales for Jimin (and Jimin only, going by the placements of other k-artists on the chart) in the second week of tracking. I agree with you that it's annoying because as it always is with BTS, the rules have been selectively applied, Jimin's work and achievement has been made to look less legitimate, and this is happening while the same organization highlights and celebrates other k-artists who haven't just fallen off the chart, but also performed poorly in critics reviews, so a.k.a. mediaplay.

I feel the frustration too but at the same time, when has the playing field ever been equal for BTS? It feels like a rite of passage for new fans to experience at least one 'what the fuck just happened?' moment when it comes to how blatant the subversion is for BTS.

But I don't care to harp on about it because (1) It's unproductive, (2) I'm neck-deep in FACE, (3) I just kinda believe Jimin.

He's not stopping. He plans to continue making music even if it hurts and even if people mock him. And I plan to keep listening to him for as long as he feels he has something to say. Jimin has already made his mark, and like everything else he does, he's done it in record time in spite of all the handicaps. He knows his fans love his work, he knows he's gotten critical acclaim for his efforts, and he knows the industry has never been a friend - he's not new to William's antics. Jimin is fine.

(...more than fine. Just look at that man. God. He was born to own the stage)

The fandom is another matter lol. ARMYs will need to figure out how to adapt, the way the fandom has always found ways to adapt, but I don't know if this will happen before the implosion or afterwards.

Either way it's only a matter of time before Jimin comes back with another project that ends k-pop and wins hearts, saves souls, and makes babies. The world can decide whether or not to make room for him to settle at the top and it wouldn't matter, because Jimin means it when he says he makes his own way. And I intend to support him as an artist his entire career. It's me and him. The rest of you can choose to join in or not.

(A performer)

Everything about Set Me Free Pt 2 feels extreme. Every single thing about it. The brass. The haunting, wailing, choral chants. The autotune... There are so many choices Jimin could have made on that song: he could've tempered the aggression with an intermission of his feather-light vocals the way he does on Face Off, he could have emphasized his points by having the instrumentals bottom out the way it does on Alone, he could have gone about SMF Pt 2 in a million other ways, but he chose the most audacious sound to declare that from here on out, he's playing by his own rules, making art on his own terms, and everyone else is just going to have to get used to the idea.

(*The performer)

*

For the Anon surprised that Jimin knows about Rilke, but went on to diss Joon in the same ask... what did you think Jimin was doing with Namjoon all those times they'd hang out and talk about life? Namjoon is the bonafide Rilke fanboy in BTS, has been sharing Rilke's works and poems with fans and the members for at least six years now, but it's suddenly surprising Jimin looked up poems to fit the theme of his song and went with Rilke? Y'all need to start paying attention to how your biases interact with every other member in BTS, not just the members you like.

[elektrischemaidchen]

Lisztober #10: Virtuoso!

Warning! Before you all get the shakes, @franzliszt-official: This song is largely based on original quotes (!!!) So it didn't just spring from our sick brains.

So, come on, let's fire up the beats again to crash yesterday's grave mood. And then we'll get back to doing what we do best: Naughty- wayward Victorian Lady - songs. How many did we do already? Can’t remember. If there's one thing I've learned from my other band, it's that going over and over the same sexy theme ALWAYS leads to success ;) (Haha. Ha.)

„Lisztomania” is probably the most discussed topic from Franz's virtuoso years. There's even a movie about it, by Ken Russell. I haven't watched it yet, by the way, because I'm extremely scared of it... For those who don't know: Lisztomania began around 1841 in Berlin (where else…freaks ;)) and soon spread throughout Europe. And it was a kind of collective St. Vitus' dance in which people (i.e. women) went as crazy as possible, fought over Liszt's cigar butts, licked out his empty glasses and also offered themselves to him in other ways. Remember, this is the middle of the 19th century. And, of course, there was also the medical view: too many people and candles in one room, “Cantharidin of a musical nature” (really cool!) and female hysteria per se, which was later cured with “vibration therapy” - this is also not our imagination. Ah, good old days. <3 Dear doctors, perhaps it was simply because Liszt was a hot as hell, a gifted musician and a really good showman. Cantharidin, Cantharidin.

It has often been suggested that this may have been the first ingenious music marketing coup in history. That may only be true to a small percentage. The small percentage: Have any of you ever seen a picture of all the merch items that were supposedly there? I collect a lot of Liszt stuff, but I've never found a lock of his hair (or his dog) in a museum, nor brooches, nor any other item anywhere, not even a picture. I'm really interested. If you know anything, please let me know. Shut up and take my money.

As someone who has been bobbing around in today's music world for far too long, I have actually experienced this kind of mania myself on a tour with an internationally successful band (not on stage, thank God, but behind the scenes). That's really really bad. Not for the band, who usually take full advantage of it, but for those who witness it. I've never had so many strange conversations in my life as with groupies. Incidentally, these letters written in blood, which are mentioned in the song, come from my own experience and, for once, are not from a Liszt biography. Dear ladies: Please bear in mind that when you do something like this, it's usually not your adored artist who opens the mail, but some poor bastard who scrubs his hands over the sink for six hours afterwards. I'm just saying.

My doctor explained it to me Miss, you have a problem And I look at him And sob quietly I don't want him to know Of my secret He says it's unfortunate „Histrionic epilepsis“ I don't even know Whether it's contagious Doctor, I think it's not hysteria Doctor, I'm afraid It is Lisztomania What commands me I only suspect Cantharides Of a musical nature Two weeks ago At a concert it began So I can think of nothing Else since then He is a master of the keys The Don Juan of the boudoirs I wish he'd take me Me here, for fun Everything about him is Pure physiognomy I smoked his cold cigars Till I spat I write him Letters in blood Break into his hotel suite Anything to be close to him Doctor, I also have Diphtheria Doctor, it's Nothing compared to Lisztomania And I'm sure I'll go mad soon Because a lock of his hair So enraptured It hangs in a locket On my bosom Then I will cuddle with His handkerchief For which I fought With other girls Even before it Slipped from his fingers When I, with wet hands On his tails, licked out his empty cognac glass Mr. Doctor, I believe it's not hysteria Doctor, I'm afraid It is Lisztomania My doctor nods With a knowing look Miss, please leave The smelling salts be We're going to introduce something something new Against your Lisztomania Unfortunately, the only thing that helps is... Vibration therapy Vibration therapy

[bisnes-socks]

hello! I think you are very cool 👁👁 is it ok to send an ask? would love to know more about you 🫶 it could be anything: how you got into Käärijä? who's your favorite side character? do you think Bojan asks Jere questions about Finland or does he research on his own and then pretends like he always knew hoping to impress Jere?

i'm cool? 🥹 thank you, you are so sweet. but be careful anon, my ego inflates fast 😌

i will answer any and all questions anon, i would love nothing more, i love to yap 💚😌

i got into käärijä because well, i don't know if you are finnish or not dear anon, but the year 2023 was quite something here. i've always loved eurovision and listened to the new umk artists as soon as the songs came out. i immediately knew ccc was the song that we needed to send. i will say, i remember saying stuff like "oh idk if i'd listen to this on my own time, but it's perfect for esc" lmao. sooo that turned out to be not true. but the thing is, as much as i've always loved esc, käärijä and joker out are the only ones who have stayed with me beyond the contest!

i've always loved everything that falls under performing arts, as a passion, as a hobby, and also academically and professionally. and i just think he is simply one of the most fascinating performing artists this country has seen in a long time, possibly ever. the way his music comes with a whole concept, a visual world, a whole käärijä universe with characters etc. it's just incredible to me. he's super captivating both as an artist and a public person.

there are other reasons as well, more on like a personal level, things like where i was in my personal life in spring/summer 2023 and some other stuff, but the number one reason is that i'm just in awe of him as an artist. i also think he is much needed in finland, as a personality and as a character, in many ways.

hmmm i don't know if i have a favourite side character, but i'll say jukka bc he is a metal man and i know he's into some of my fave metal bands too.

and listen. LISTEN.

bojan gives me the BIGGEST besserwisser energy when it comes to finland it's so fucking funny but also so damn CUTE!!!! i will never ever ever in my life forget that joker out subs interview they did during the nordic tour and bojan was confidently correcting everyone's pronunciation wrong. how the others asked how to pronounce the letter Ä and bojan confidently and loudly went "it's E, E, right?" like my sweet puppy no 😭😭

AND I WILL NEVER forget him, at the backstage with jere getting ready to do ccc together, going basically like "but how do i pronounce this word jere i think you need to come here and look at this paper with me jerč 🥺🥺" oldest trick in the (girlfriend) book!!!!!!

so to answer your question anon, it's both. he will try to impress jere with his finnish knowledge in any group setting, so that jere's attention will be on him. but when it's just them? oh suddenly he needs help, and jere needs to explain everything to him. and be super close while he does so, actually. like holding hands. so that the next time they are in a group setting, bojan can casually drop some stuff jere taught him one night giggling under the blankets, so that they can once more annoy everyone with an inside joke.

anon i think you accidentally opened some sort of floodgates here, because i could go on. about every question. but you also said i'm cool so i'm trying to keep it that way.

[wespirallin]

feather in your cap (a sweet tooth fanfic)

Okay so some of you've probably seen the first chapter/prologue I've posted in the st community and I want to continue posting the new chapters in both ao2 and wattpad, and also here, in my blog. (there's a slight problem with ao3 for now but I'll update you when I have access to my account lol).

here you go people, the second chapter.

Chapter 2 // conform

Before Benji even unlocked the front door, he could hear the dampened voice of Adele filling up their house. A rare smile graced his lips as he hummed along to "Rolling in the Deep". 

Conversations of Adele had made up the first date between the two very drunk young adults. Benji could still remember it like yesterday, how a 20-year-old Pemma had forced him to dance rock-and-roll (they were very drunk okay??) to the very same song in a crowded bar. From that moment on, he knew he wanted a future with that woman. She had made Benji feel free, for what might’ve been the first time ever. Of course, drunk thoughts and decisions never ended well, but this one seemed to be an exception for Benjamin Crane. 

Benji found his wife seated where she spent most of her time nowadays. The wooden table they had built together, whose sole purpose was to serve as a puzzle table. She stuck her tongue out in concentration as she frantically checked almost every remaining piece.

Putting jigsaw puzzles together had always been a stable and favored pastime activity for the pair. They spent most of their free time seated in front of a thousand-piece puzzle for days in comfortable silence, accompanied by a cup of tea. Sometimes they even each got a puzzle with fewer pieces just to race each other. Pemma almost always won. 

This puzzle was an artistically drawn piece of the "Gaang" as Pemma liked to call the team of four teenagers from their comfort TV show. It was a fan-made piece from Emma (Sam's wife) that she'd made for them before she passed away. Benji already knew that his kids would grow up watching the records of the show.

The piece had survived most of Pemma's mood swings (Benji had stayed up all night once to renew the two weeks of progress after a particularly bad one), and it was more than halfway done. They really wanted to be over with it and hang it up on the wall before the twins arrived. Benji was sure that the piece could not handle  a pregnant lady and two newborns.

“Hey love”, greeted Benji, walking over and pressing a kiss on Pemma’s forehead. “How have you been? Any pain or discomfort?”

Pemma smiled up at him with those bright blue eyes he had fallen for over a decade ago.

“You know how it goes by now. Mood swings and some nausea. Went for a walk in the park at one point. It was a calmer day than usual. One of the little rascals did keep kicking me all day though, and it tickled for some reason this time. I’m telling you, Benji, we’re going to have twins with two very different personalities.”

Benji beamed at her. 

“Looks like one of them shares their mom’s hyperactivity”, he joked.

Pemma swatted at his arm. “You’ll realize it’s more of a curse than a gift if it turns out you’re right.”

“That’s okay, we’ll love them either way”, Benji said warmly.

Pemma’s smile fell ever so slightly and she faced her husband with a hesitant look.

“But what if…what if they turn out to be hybrids Ben?”, her voice getting weaker towards the end. “I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Benji's expression hardened. He couldn’t stand how scared his wife looked. He wanted to promise her that everything would be fine, but how could he when even he didn’t believe that? 

Yeah, what if the kids turned out to be hybrids? Benji didn’t know how he could love and raise something so…non-human and unnatural as his own. He just couldn’t imagine himself holding something half-animal, half-human, and thinking, “Yes, this is my kid. Mine to protect, to parent, and to love forever.”

Plus, he was well aware of the new organization that called themselves ‘The Last Men’ (what a stupid ass name that was). He knew how they snatched up the hybrid kids to do god knows what to them. He also knew what happened to the parents who tried to resist. He couldn’t have Pemma going through that. He wouldn't risk losing what he had because of a freaky hybrid kid.

Pemma looked her husband up and down as she tried to gauge his thought proccest. She knew he never looked warmly to hybrids, let alone them having to parent one. Shamefully, she couldn’t say that she disagreed with him. The idea itself scared her so much sometimes that she forgot how to breathe. At the same time, she couldn’t imagine herself not loving any of her babies. How could she look at any of their faces and deny them of the motherly love she was so ready to share?

When Benji finally pulled a chair and sat down across her, she saw the telltale sign of him coming to a decision. One he knew she wouldn't like. 

She took his clammy hands in hers and tried to catch his warm brown eyes.

When he finally did look up, Pemma saw a slightly unnerving shine in his eyes. A shine that make her gut churn uncomfortably.

“Penny for your thoughts, Ben?”

Ben caught the scared edge on Pemma’s voice and it made him want to rip his hair out in frustration. He ignored it for both of their sakes.

“I won’t let anyone, anything destroy what we have…what we’ve built for us okay? If…” he took a deep breath, “If it comes to that, then I’ll do anything in my power to make them normal, what they’re meant to be”, he promised with a set jaw. It was more of a promise to himself than to his wife.

Pemma’s worry lines deepened as her face scrunched up in disbelief. Before she could say anything though, a wave of excruciating pain ripped through her and she couldn’t help the scream she let out. All the previous tension was forgotten as Benji shot up from his chair, steadying Pemma as she doubled over in pain.

“Pems!? What- what is it? Is it the kids? Contractions? Are they-”

“No, I’m just constipated- YES Benji it’s the kids. Now get me to the kiddie pool before I pass out.”

“B-But what? They’re early -you -we, I-I thought we had at least-”

Pemma shot him a murderous look.

“Benji I swear to god-”

“Okay okay, sorry! I got this! I got this.”

Benji took a few deep breaths to steady himself as he hauled Pemma to her feet and gently dragged her to the kiddie pool. He thanked his past self a hundred times for already setting the pool up -just in case. 

. . . 

It’s crazy how quickly life can change up on you sometimes. 

One moment you’re stacking puzzle pieces next to each other, the next you’ve given birth to two beautiful newborns.

One moment you’re shedding tears of joy, the next you realize the baby in your arms has feathers. Brown and white feathers that make up two very mesmerizing wings. Two beautiful wings that are bunched up behind a small body that’s wriggling and crying obnoxiously. He’s beautiful, you think. You have to tear your eyes away from the unique pattern of discoloration on his face as you realize his father falling apart next to you, holding your other baby in his arms. In contrast to his sibling, this one isn’t crying.

One moment you’re ready to celebrate the birth of your two baby boys, the next, you’re sure you’re going to die from the pain of losing one.

A wail rips out from you, a wail that matches the baby's cries in your arms. 

“Benji! Benji what? What’s wrong? What’s wrong with him?? Why is my baby not crying? Benji let me see him!”

Benjamin pleads his tears and sobs away. He pleads the ugly, ugly disappointment and the heartwrenching pain in his gut away as he forces himself not to look at that…thing. That thing that killed his son. He faces his wife instead and pleads the tears away because he has to be strong. He has to be strong, for his wife needs him now. His wife needs him by her side, just as much as Benji needs her.

So he gently wraps up the dead newborn in his arms with a blanket. A blanket that was identical to the that was wrapped around the hybrid kid. A blanket that was chosen by the couple exactly nine months ago. A blanket that was supposed to have had the chance to be washed and used over and over again.

With whatever strength he had left, Benj dragged himself towards his wife in the kiddie pool and wrapped his arms around the sobbing woman. He gently cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears away with shaky hands. The man's own cheeks were drenched with the tears that kept on spilling, almost in stubborn defiance against his pleas. 

It’s crazy how merciless life can be sometimes.

Because one moment you’re mourning the loss of a child, the next you’re trying to keep your wife alive.

One moment you’re the husband, the next you're need to be the doctor.

Thousands of thoughts raced through Doctor Crane’s mind as he tried to identify what may have caused the postpartum hemorrhage. 

Blood clotting condition? Thrombin maybe? Not likely, Pemma’s scratches always healed fast. 

Uterine atony? No, no he would’ve realized if there had been a steady loss of blood after the delivery…right? He would’ve realized. He would've.

Uterine trauma? Yeah,  yeah that was most likely it…but from what? Benji’s eyes hardened as he looked at the hybrid baby with accusing eyes. The kid had wings, but no way were feathers sharp enough to cause any damage to the uterine. The baby was half a bird, right? So talons maybe? 

Benji’s eyes frantically darted from side to side and his breathing picked up as he tried to pinpoint what had caused the excessive bleeding. He was no expert in childborth. He remembered taking a general education about it in med school but he had little knowledge of complications. He racked his brain for anything that could help Pemma.

All his thoughts came to a halt when he felt a weak hand squeeze his shanking one. Pemma.

“Ben…just be with me for a moment.”

And it’s crazy how life could be so merciless because here she was, bleeding out, but still having to be the strong one for Benji.

She looked into his eyes with a sense of serenity, because she knew. She knew that she wouldn’t make it. And Benji saw no sign of anger nor fear in her bright blue eyes. He saw no trace of blame in them and he just knew she didn’t blame him for what was happening. She didn’t blame him for being the doctor and not being able to save her, because of course she didn’t. 

Pemma could barely think straight because of the shock her brain was going through. The shock that left her airless and unable to collect her breath. 

Call her delusional but it reminded her of the way she forgot how to breathe when she saw the same pair of warm brown eyes for the first time. That was a decade ago. Those brown eyes that had her offered so much comfort throughout the years, but now held so much pain inside. The same brown eyes that looked at her with so much love whenever she met them. The same love she was sure that he would show their kid after she was gone.

And life was so merciless to Benjamin Crane that day, for not only had he buried a child and a soulmate, but he was also left alone with the hybrid baby that had caused it all.

[somethin-stupid-67]

BCS HC's because I've been up all night and the brain rot is unreal

JIMMY/SAUL:

(More Saul?) Loves himself a cocktail, the sweeter the better. Fruity cocktails for a fruity little man. Only thing he can’t stand about them is how overpriced they are, no matter where he orders them.

Very strongly considered buying rings when he married Kim. Something about the symbolism stuck with him and really wanted their marriage, business arrangement or not, to present as more “socially official.” Would’ve definitely had them engraved with Wexler-McGill on the inside of the bands, too.

Eventually became pretty good at the guitar. Still struggles with tuning it and has, on more than one occasion, had a meltdown while attempting to replace broken strings.

Loves his white Cadillac, but definitely misses his Esteem.

KIM:

Smokes whatever cigarettes are on hand but is a ride-or-die menthol enjoyer.

The only person allowed to call her “Kimmy” is her mother. Jimmy tried once and wound up in a long,  long conversation about her distaste of the nickname.

Similarly, she doesn’t go by her full first name (at least professionally) because she feels it’s too preppy/thinks Kimberly Wexler sounds too much like the name of a ditzy blonde side character in a John Hughes movie.

Talkative drunk. Will have a conversation with anyone about nearly anything. Out for drinks and there’s a game on TV? She’s chatting up the nearest patron about every. single. play. Song she recognizes comes on the radio? She’s breaking down the lyrics, symbolism, and the artist’s motivation for writing it. Will apologize profusely the next morning for “talking too much.” Jimmy, naturally, finds it absolutely adorable and insists she shouldn’t feel bad.

NACHO:

Extremely shy as a child!

Grew up listening to/singing along with classic Mexican love songs and sings them softly to himself when completing any sort of task that doesn’t require a lot of focus. Very few people have actually heard him sing, but those who have all tell him he has a lovely voice.

He’d be lying if he said he disliked Lalo calling him “Nachito.”

Huge fan of an ice-cold Coke Zero.

Easily cries at tv shows and movies, most notably if there’s a trope pertaining to a father and son. Less than five seconds into a commercial for the ASPCA/Humane Society and he has tears in his eyes.

LALO:

In the rare instances he’s able to sleep more than an hour or two at a time, he snores. LOUD. Like, keeping the house up half the night loud.

If it wasn’t for his responsibilities to the “family business,” he would have pursued work as either a professional chef or professional hitman. Yes, the two couldn’t be farther from each other. Yes, they somehow both make total sense.

Would’ve 1000% slept with Nacho or Jimmy if the situation presented itself.

Opposite to Nacho, he was an extremely outgoing child. He was the type of kid to wander off with other children or walk up to total strangers and introduce himself.

Initially bothered by how quickly his hair went grey, but once he found out women (and men) thought it made him more attractive he never gave it a second thought.

HOWARD:

Strong aversion to water. He’ll get into a swimming pool and that’s about it, but even then he won’t go out farther than he can stand. His fear of drowning is the only thing preventing him from becoming a triathlete.

Keeps a photo of his parents in his wallet.

Definitely has anxiety. His tells used to be much more obvious when he first became an attorney (leg bouncing, shakiness in voice) but he has since been able to control it, most of the time. It’s a part of what keeps him up at night, why he’ll always opt for tea, and why he picked up boxing and cycling. It almost never interferes with his work the way it once did, but every now and again he can be seen swiftly pacing around his office or picking the skin around his fingers.

Despite his agility/flexibility, he’s an absolutely terrible dancer. Even in a bout of romance, an after-dinner slow dance in his own home proves he has two left feet.

Mailroom Era Jimmy definitely called him “Pretty Boy” to piss him off. It made him blush and/or stutter every time without fail and it took both Chuck and his father to convince him that Jimmy was insulting him and didn’t mean it as a compliment.