#but he is petty enough to stop and pick a fight abt it in the middle of the night IN A DANGEROUS FOREST
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sanjiaftersex · 4 months ago
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everyone else : omg this forest is dangerous and we have an important mission to carry out
zoro : *beefing with a random roach he found in the forest*
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7ndipity · 11 months ago
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Now that the requests are open again 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
I would die for a reaction of perilla leaf situation playing out in real.
🤍much love
The Perilla Leaf Debate
Ot7 x Reader
Warnings: swearing,
A/N: I knew this would come up sooner or later. Ok, *deep breath* here we go.(This is really just me throwing the maknae line under the bus for being over dramatic, lol.) Also, if you don’t know what this is about, just search ‘ bts perilla leaf debate’ on youtube and it’ll make sense soon enough.
Masterlist
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Jin: Just blocks your chopsticks with his own, matter-of-factly like “Don’t do that, they’ll think you’re flirting.” leaving you sitting there like “what!?”, but he’s already gone back to eating like nbd. He doesn’t care, but he knows other people read into it, and he doesn’t want to hear it.
Yoongi: Does not give a single fuck, just like he said during the debate. If anything, he might actually appreciate your attentiveness and willingness to help others with even the little things like this.
Hobi: I genuinely don’t think he’d care, unless you’re being like really weird/flirty about it. If anything, he’s gonna make jokes about it like “Ooh, does that mean you’re a thing now?” “Is the part where I’m supposed to get jealous?”
Namjoon: Doesn’t care at first, until maybe later on when he remembers the other’s arguments about it and starts overthinking a lil bit, but he’s so unsubtle, straight up asking you about it like “Do you find ‘friend name’ attractive?” “What?!” “Nevermind, wanna makeout?” (he’s v confusing, I pray for you)
Jimin: Doesn’t really care, unless it’s someone like Tae or Jungkook, who he knows will read into the action and likely make a sly remark later on. In that case, he will make sure to help them before you even have a chance, nearly lunging across the table in his haste to avoid any drama.
Taehyung: It really depends on his mood. For the most part, I don’t think he would really care, so long as you also do the same for him, but he can be a petty bitch sometimes, so he might try to pick a fight over it with you if you’re not careful.
Jungkook: Throws himself across the table to stop you jsdgvihshvbfjvs. No but seriously, I think he might not actually realize until it’s too late, and then he’s just sat there like 0-0”ohmygodno” the rest of the evening. Would be soo sulky abt it till you ask him what’s wrong. Just tell him it didn’t mean anything and give him kisses and he’ll be okay.
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
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yuukei-yikes · 2 years ago
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Tell us about Shinaya’s breakup :D
HEHDJEIDNEKFJEKDKEK ive had this ask since i posted i was thinking abt it MAN i cannot express to u i just. I WANNA WRITE A FIC SO BAD but AUGH im so bad at it it makes me cringe i cant do that but its basically like all my damn posts together u know. i keep thinking of shintaro's disastrous relationships post str going from ayano to kano to takane etcetc sorry im playing with him like a stress toy making him go thru hell but its so fun
srry i dont wanna have to rewrite a lot of stuff so erm im liking this answer 🫡🫡🫡 and i could link a bunch more just so u SEE MY VISION... but i think linking that is enough. ON AND OFF SHINAYA MY BELOVED
shintaro and ayano sort of having this ridiculous relationship because both are hurting and jumped in a relationship too quick but fighting/being sad about stupid shit is so much easier than dealing with their actual issues that they've got with themselves. like focusing on each other and what they don't like about each other and their relationship is so much easier than crying about how suicidal they are. lollllll SO LIKE this insanity sort of saves them at the same time??
i mean the most ideal would be that instead of getting together they got therapy and the normal kind not the relationship kind. you know. but also theyre traumatized and ugh. its so much easier to resent each other than themselves. its so much easier to be petty. its such a relief to cry over relationship problems than over timeline resets or dead parents and etc. YOU GET ME?????
they keep breaking up and getting back together ridiculously like it is 1000% so dramatic each and everytime. ayano crying her eyes out like its the end of the world and shintaro making 100 sad playlists. and it happens at least monthly. the first time everyone's like WHOA THEY BROKE UP!?!? SHIT!! the second time its like heyyy maybe they'll work it out like last time!! third time its like are you joking. fourth time they're already begging them to stop. by they i mean the dan but especially takane by the way. who do you think is picking up the pieces.
and by the way the one breaking up all the time and being dramatic as hell is shintaro. he gets angry and annoyed and weaponizes the LETS BREAK UP thing because he DOESNT MEAN IT. like he knows he and ayano will work it out later. he gets comfortable again. not to get on the ayano surviving thing, but i think ayano (and hiyori but especially ayano) making it out alive undoes a big part of the message abt moving on. like i love her so im not complaining thats i love having her alive :3 but i like to translate this into shintaro like. he's intensely trying to repress/process all the memories of the other timelines to cope and have a normal life and ends up being this way because he's sort of self sabotaging himself. like ayano's alive and she likes me??? lol. ok?? ill wake up any moment now!! and he feels guilty and undeserving and is sort of a dickhead to her in an unconscious attempt of keeping her away because that's what he deserves according to him. also why he's accepting of takane's intense obsession with him lol bc she's familiar and she is comfortable, unlike ayano who is so rare and one in its kind in all the timelines. he is sort of terrified of her in a way.
the lets break up isnt rly a breakup. its just a leave me alone see u later. LOL i think we talk too much abt kanoshin bringing the worst in each other but what about shinaya. they do that too. yeah we CAN have fluffy shinaya. but like i said it is so easy to focus all this bitterness and sadness into each other and it's so relieving to be sad and angry about this rather than everything else. because this is sort of in their control while everything else isn't, wasn't. and its so unfair. of course its unfair!! but they cant do anything abt it. so they just go crazy on each other. ayano is DESPERATE to be needed. i could link more replies but i will hold myself back. basically her siblings are used to being alone/know she has her own problems and ayano is dealing with this emptiness and feeling of failure bc no one needs her, from her perspective her sacrifice still failed to save everyone, her parents are gone so she needs to step up. like she puts herself under all this pressure and feels Not Good Enough for ANYTHING. and she is dating shintaro.
it's EASY to bother him and try to get him to open up and etc so she ridiculously focuses on that. but it gets on shintaro's nerves to say the least LOL plus all his other issues i mentioned 🫡plus she keeps being like we have to be normal. lets kiss and hold hands and cuddle. but she's too embarrassed to say it/do it and shintaro is even more pathetic about it. so theyre both frustrated about everything and can barely even sit next to each other without acting insane.
AND SORRY BUT I WILL TALK ABT TAKANE🫡💞💗💖💝💕💘ofc. codependent shintaka. of course. it drives ayano CRAZY because on top of all their problems takane is able to talk sense into shintaro each and every single time. and she is soooo jealous like she knows its stupid but she cant help ittt i ALSO TALKED ABT THIS SORRY I KEEP REPEATING MYSELF IM JUST SO CRzy abt it. hehe......the whole mess bringing drama to harutaka too bc shintaro and ayano are so messy theyre contagious is so fun to me. when it comes to shintaro and takane's horrible relationship both their romantic relationships suffer for it but deal with it completely differently. while both haruka and ayano deal with jealousy somewhat, ayano is so hurt and already at the verge of a mental breakdown so she's focusing so many negative emotions on it and AGAIN it just serves as another point of argument between shintaro and ayano while haruka is like. his mental state isnt as convoluted as ayanos, he's rather freaking out and terrified of being left alone. THIS IS ABT SHINAYA so i wont get into harutaka side but lol. heh. Looks at it. zooms in it. like what i mean is that haruka and takane talk and work through it and are like sighs yeah...this is messed up while shintaro and ayano are using it against each other instead of working on it LMAO
ANYWAYS. ayano breaks up with shintaro. vine boom. total breakdown moment like everyone out of the room i wanna talk to you alone. and this time its for REAL. like ayano isnt confrontational at all, all their arguments are always her being pushy abt idk mental health and shintaro's like godddd STOPPPPP and ayano crying and shintaro being like I CANNOT DEAL WITH THAT. IM SORRY I GUESS. CAN U GET OUT OF THE ROOM. WE'LL TALK LATER. but he also sucks so bad at letting the other person know they can count on him so he kind of assumes ayano will do it when she's ready because he KNOWS she's in pain. like. ofc it could go well. ofc shintaro and ayano could work through everything with kindness and comprehension for each other but they're both so sad and suddenly find themselves annoyed at each other one time and it felt so freeing to do that that they just keep doing it. especially shintaro. having ayano be mad at him is sort of relieving because he feels undeserving of her and its like yeah. Yeah!! i know its ooc but shinaya screaming match.god. sorry but all their bottled up emotions abt everything and they take it out on each other for no reason other than theyre giving each other the space and it plays out that way. theyre acting crazy about something so stupid like shintaro not wanting ayano to wear his clothes or whatever. like they scream about that but its not about that. it just feels so good to scream. it feels so good to scream and let it out even if they haven't given themselves the time to process that theyre not... actually screaming abt that at all. theyre screaming about everything else. not even about each other. its about themselves. its always been.its never been about each other. when it is, its stupid. thats why they do it. its just easier. God. they were just not ready for a relationship, especially not one with each other out of all people.
ayano breaks first, therefore dumps shintaro lol. he goes thru his own fucked up arc afterwards while ayano gets help. my man spirals DOWN. whether they get back together or not depends on my mood 🤨 but if they do, its by the time theyre in their mid twenties or something so a few years later LOL i picture them dating like for over a year maybe?? when theyre 18/19. hehe.
like. do you get it.
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vampiremourning · 2 years ago
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on nines' wiki for fic stuff, have some copy-paste of me going Feral about him and kat in discord
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crying thinking abt how genuinely kat will compliment her man & how inadvertantly Serious she gets bc she really does sincerely mean it & it would be easier to process if she was actually doing it to fluster him but no sometimes she just gets into a certain mood
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also the idea of her like hgjhkj absolutely backing him 100% when other barons push back on shit like this, knowing that her reputation is in a very strange place where too much will be seen as in poor form but not really caring bc she knows how to exude enough bad vibes to get people to shut up lmao. his coterie might feel the same as she does but they dont have the same effect on audiences, the ventrue aura of 'listen to me or Else' comes in handy and he gfhjk doesnt quite know how to feel abt it being used for him lmao
she does love how much he cares tho,,, its a very sexy quality its not smth shes used to. she might not completely Agree with him all the time but the way she completely trusts him overrides that so it doesnt actually Matter. & i think she also sort of uses that as a better moral compass than the one thats been trained into her, like inherently she sees herself as a semi-bad person bc of how shes able to detach from certain decisions and thats just not how he operates & she has a lot of respect for that (& probably also misses the fact that if we're comparing traumas hers are a lot more. uh. Direct lmfao.)
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also god love her but she is Not a Car Girl TM. she will sit there in the garage trying her hardest to follow along & ask questions but rly truly, she has no idea wtf he is saying to her. she recognizes that he is talking about parts and seems Excited & shes just glad it requires minimal thought on her end beyond very basic open ended questions. im pretty sure he thinks she understands a Lot more about mechanical stuff than she actually does bc shes very good at picking out important words and repeating them gfhjjfdgfhg shes not TRYING to bullshit interest she just doesnt have the heart to tell him she have 0 comprehension of anything he said just now. he is so stressed so much she wants him to be happy & relaxed whenever theres an opportunity for it :(
also he listens to her interests gfhgjh even if theyre significantly less technical lmao. she likes dissecting the manufactured drama & relationships of reality tv and stuff like that bc it reminds her of a Much lower stakes version of kindred politics & the pettiness is entertaining to her. he also gets to hold her while they watch on the couch or in bed while she goes & picks apart all of the 'fighting' and production tampering & he loves hearing her talk in general but its kind of fascinating to him how she can take something so shallow & dissect it, loves how Perceptive she is when it comes to people in particular. i think sometimes if she's maybe squirming a bit much or maybe if he just feels like it he'll offer to paint her nails. she's really on top of keeping up a manicure but doesnt always do acrylics & i think he would actually get fairly into the fact that 1. its essentially just Hand Holding for a reason and 2. it requires a decently steady hand & attention to detail so it doesnt get messed up and as someone who restores bikes with tiny intricate mechanical parts, hes surprisingly well suited to this. i bet he would do little designs too if he had the tools for it. it just feels good to do something for her :')
she knows jewellery even if she doesnt know fuck all about mechanics. firmly believe she just buys him stuff all the time & shes stupidly good at nailing what someone's preferred style is. like i dont think hes ever had someone who just casually gets so many things bc 'i saw this and thought of you' and again acts like its nbd??? because it is?? shes like yeah ofc why Wouldnt i? & tbh i dont even think that the gifts stop with him either once the rest of his coterie realizes shes cool and not a camarilla mole lmao they also start getting little things. jewellery keychains shirts Whatever, all usually just dropped into their hands mid-conversation with very little acknowledgment from her. if you mention youve had your eye on a bracelet or smth she'll just grab it without thinking. if Really pressed she'll probably brush it off as 'i wasnt spending my money anyway' (girl likes to take cash when she feeds from the wealthier Reverse Orphans TM especially if theyre also cheating gfhjhj) but rly. she just enjoys making people happy, which is also something her adores about her. its the casual way its just ingrained into her personality & how she doesnt make a huge deal about it, its just how she is.
ofc he always makes sure to take care of her back, she clearly expresses affection in gift giving and acts of service but she likes quality time & physical touch for herself. which is absolutely okay by his book, he was never even close to being as touch starved as she was at any point whereas she went literal Years without being touched in some way that wasnt negative or hurtful in some form. its overwhelming for her initially & she doesnt really know how to Ask for contact but by god she gets it through him. he's always loved holding her; she just seems to tuck in Perfectly into his arms. if she's maybe getting too overwhelmed with that then he's also good to switch gears to maybe just having a hand on her back or leg or holding her hand bc there's a period right when they first officially get together where she's still trying to level herself out after so much isolation. & he's such a constant reassuring presence, it almost doesn't feel real.
tbh if he wasn't as stable as he was im not sure she would have been able to heal properly after killing her sire, she had spent so long tethered to that man and shaping her life around running from him that she didnt quite know what to Do with herself when he was gone. nines didnt explicitly provide a 'purpose' for her life, he just gave her a place to rest and recuperate while she figured herself out and started to understand the fact that she was finally safe. & that's another thing, her sire might have been a genuine threat to the point she didnt want to risk his safety, but everything else? i doubt there would be any stopping his protection instincts. sometimes thats a concern to her, but again, she needed to be with someone who would be able to be that type of support & strength while she finally released literal decades of repressed trauma & a constant fight or flight state. he cant protect her from her own mind, but he can put a stop to any outside threats. she's never had that. he might have been abandoned by a ton of people in his life, but she would have taken that over the active harm/passive allowance of harm. understanding that, to him, she is someone worth protecting? its a wild learning curve.
im also sure theres some angst to be found in his history of being abandoned + her former commitment fear that evolved into the constant need to Be Around Him but also consider: the amount of comfort he would finally have knowing theres a 99% chance if theyre at home he just has to walk into the next room to see her (assuming she isnt already closer) & how she openly admits to wanting him on all levels, like shes not just gonna be someone else who walks out of his life. absolutely her favourite spot in the world is curls up beside him, like thats where she considers Home to be and ohh man. i think that just stirs smth up in him internally. ofc he cares about a lot of people and a lot of people care about him back but this is Different. in retrospect, knowing what she went through just to be able to sit here with him? even though there was a chance she would be rejected for not being transparent with her situation prior & never fully committing (even if she otherwise would have)? knowing he might be Too Hurt to let her back in and trying it anyway & letting him take the lead on the pacing and decide what it was He needed, that's insane. but she wanted to be with him so badly it was a risk she was willing to take on, which is telling bc her whole thing was caution to the point of being detrimental to herself.
it's like,,, he knows how it feels to have followers. but just like he did with her, she was able to peel back layers and layers of public-facing personality traits & see who he was in the privacy of his own home, and Still wanted him. imo even though he knows how to command a room, he's still not 100% positive what it is about Him Specifically that makes him so special to everyone else aside form being the guy who was in the right place at the right time to make a reputation for himself. but she's like. the one person where he actually feels like he maybe understand why she looks at him that way, & its still a nebulous feeling, but its more Concrete than what he gets from starry-eyed fledglings. kat is not and has never been someone who gives people more credit than they deserve or who blindly follows people. she's harsh and she has to have a Reason to do that.
if theres ever a situation where she has to drink blood outside of her restriction, you know he's gonna be the one to take care of her. she's not a fan of it, she's in pain and she feels gross and doesn't want him to Watch the whole episode, but why would he be put off by it? they both came from big families with plenty of kids, the threshold for being grossed out by that stuff is really goddamn high for them both lmao. also she looks completely Miserable curled up on the floor like that, if she needs someone to hold her hair and rub her back a bit then okay! she will have that its what she deserves! she's gonna resist a little at first bc she was always the one doing that for her sisters being the oldest with no mother/mother figure for most of their lives but like with a lot of stuff he does, she will relax and melt into the touch after a bit and start to physically decompress. if she's up for up she will also be carried to whichever soft surface she desires, no questions asked.
theyre so domestic it Hurts. fully believe the only actual regret she has about the relationship is missing the boat on them both being human & getting to live that normal suburban family life bc she know she would have completely abandoned her Rich Husband goals & it would have been fine in the end + her dad would have loved him. theres a very deep part of her psyche with a list of names that would have sounded fantastic for theoretical children like fdgfhgjh god. she is so far gone for him, 'vampires dont love' my ASS. not to be cheesy but he's It for her, even when theyre in a rough spot she literally cannot imagine being around anyone else or giving herself to someone so fully like that and trusting that they won't use that against her or shatter her heart in the process.
i just gfsfdhgfrwhgqsahxgfghgfejgwdshhjgrf theyre so in love. SO in love.
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falcqns · 4 years ago
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Hii i have this request in mind like Chris Evans x Actress! Singer! Reader like the reader and chris dated for 3y idk but they broke up but the reader always visit chris’ family bc she treated them like family aswell specialy when the reader’s parents died so she spend Christmas there or any occasions bc chris’ family invite her and when chris got a new gf the reader is kinda hurt bc she still love chris but she try to look like she doesn’t care but then she released her new song its called deja vu (by olivia rodrigo) and she release it to her bday so when the song is released the fans knew its abt chris bc of the new gf (chris’ fam doesn’t like the new gf and the fans kinda didn’t support them bc of the girl’s attitude) and chris’ family invites her over bc they want to show the reader something and when the reader got there they surprise her for her bday and congratulate her and turns out chris is there too with his new gf🤨and the reader knew chris’ new gf hated her bc of her look and scott called you all to the living room and watch the mv of the reader’s new song and when the mv ends scott and the fam congratuleted the reader and chris’ gf is giving the reader looks again and chris is noticing it and when the reader is in the kitchen alone getting something chris talk to her and congratulate her and chris’ new gf wrapped her arms around chris and chris tried to stop her to make a scene but she started a scene and scream at the reader but the reader cut her off and embarrassing her and the reader prove the new gf shes first not her (idk if that make sense lol) and the new gf leave(idk you can make her a random name so its not only “new gf”) and the reader and chris talk and they got back together, you can do wha you want at the end this is just so random bc i was listening to deja vu and advance thank you if you do my request! Stay safe! ❤️ and im so sorry if this is so long
Deja Vu
pairing: Chris Evans x singer!reader
warnings: parents death, major angst, fluff. 
a/n: thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy!
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You had known Chris since college, when you had met him in your communications class. You two had grown close quickly, and became best friends. 
He brought you home every Christmas Eve, before you would go home to your parents house on Christmas Day. You had always felt like a part of the family, so when your parents passed a way, you turned to him. 
You and your parents were driving home from a Christmas Day church service, when you were hit by a semi truck. It had completely totalled the car, and your parents had died on impact. You had been sitting in the back, and only had a broken leg from where your moms seat had been pushed back into it roughly. 
You had been pulled from the car and sat in a second ambulance, while your parents were transported in another. You knew you'd never forget watching that ambulance door close and drive away, knowing that was the last time you'd ever see them. 
When the police officers asked if there was anyone you could call, you didn't know what to do. Your parents were both only children, so you had no aunts, uncles or cousins. You were an only child too, so you had no siblings, and your grandparents had passed when you were little, your other ones passing before you were born. 
So when the officer asked you, you told him the Evans’ phone number. Lisa picked up on the second ring, and you tearfully explained what had happened as the shock wore off. She immediately said she’d meet you at the hospital, and not to worry, that she and Bob would take care of you. 
You were taken to the hospital and treated for your broken leg. Less than an hour after you arrived, Lisa arrived at the hospital with Chris in tow. They comforted you, and took you home with them. You stayed in Chris’s room for the first few days, and when you were given your own room, you still had a hard time sleeping alone, so Chris ended up in your bed with you most nights, not that he minded. 
You never went back to college, and instead turned to singing as a release from all the pain you were feeling. You started out posting covers on YouTube, and gradually progressed to getting a record deal with Interscope Records, which didn't surprise anyone who knew you. You had immense talent, and your parents used to tell you that they were counting down the days before you were a celebrity. 
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When Chris graduated college and told you he was moving to Los Angeles, he convinced you to come with him. Prices were high in LA, and he didn't want to be separated from you for too long, so you joined him. He got to be an actor, and you got to be a singer, which is what you both had wanted since you were younger. 
You went to every one of Chris’s movie premieres, and he attended as many of your live shows as he could. You supported him through all his relationships and his breakups, and played the middle man whenever he and Jenny would fight, up until the very end. You told yourself you did that because you just wanted what's best for him, but you both kind of knew that wasn't the reason at all. 
Throughout your time living together, you friendship grew, as did your feelings for each other. You'd be lying if you didn't have a small crush on him in college, and those feelings only grew as time went on, especially since the two of you decided to only get a one bedroom apartment. Mainly because it was cheap, but also because Chris made a decision a week after your parents death to never allow you to sleep alone because of the nightmares that would occur if he wasn't there.
So, when you won your first award for your first album, named ‘hand in hand’, he kissed you the second you came off the stage with your award in hand. It blew your mind that he felt the same, but you were happy nonetheless. You two began dating that night, and everything was perfect. 
Until, you were invited by 5 Seconds of Summer to be their opening act on their newest tour. You had agreed, and Chris let you go. You two had been dating for over 3 years, and you thought your relationship would be fine. 
You quickly realized however that that wasn't the case, when the two of you started fighting less than two weeks into the tour. The fights weren't anything major, more petty things like ‘did you change the Netflix password’ or ‘why did you take this piece of clothing, that was mine and it was my favourite.’ All around stupid fights. 
You had turned to Calum, who you were closest with, and he consoled you as much as you could. You realized however, that you couldn't be with Chris anymore when he drunk called you in the middle of the night while you were in the UK and got angry with you when you answered and told him to call you back in the morning when he was sober, to which he proceeded to brag that he slept with his co star at the time, Jessica Alba, you freaked out and ended things. 
You got a message from Jessica on instagram the next day letting you know that they did not sleep together, and that she was sorry he even said it. You assured her it was fine, and felt relief.
Relief because you got to the bottom of the situation, but also relief from your relationship. You didn't know what happened in those few weeks, but you knew the relationship was turning toxic, and you wanted to stop it before that happened. Neither you or Chris needed that. You told him you’d find a new place to live, and by the time tour ended, you bought yourself a house in Beverly Hills, and moved out of the apartment.
Chris moved out not long after, and bought his own house. He had tried to stay friends with you, but you didn't want that at that point in time. You were still hurting, and needed time to heal. 
Once you felt ready to date again, you were asked to be Calum’s date to the Peoples Choice Awards, you accepted. You knew Chris would be there, and you were hoping to talk to him, and maybe work it out. He had told you during the break up that he would always wait for you to come back, and that he still loved you, and always would. 
But you knew that wasn't the case when he showed up on the red carpet, with a new actress named Myra Woodfield. You had smiled at him, while trying not to break down inside, but he gave you a dirty look and rolled his eyes at you when Calum wrapped his arm around your waist for a picture. You furrowed your eye brows and took a good look at Myra. 
She looked almost exactly like you. Same build, same hair colour, same eye colour. The only difference is that she was slightly taller than you. You didn't know why he was replacing you, but it hurt. You pushed it out of your head however, and enjoyed the night with your best friend. 
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It was a few months later when you were awoken by the constant dinging of your phone. You unlocked it, and saw you had a lot of unread messages from Luke, Ashton, Michael, Calum, and your other best friend Ashe about Chris’s new movie trailer, you sighed. 
You watched the trailer, and sighed when it looked like a recreation of a bunch of moments in your relationship with him, only Myra was in your place. 
Your fans and some of Chris’s had commented on it, and Myra immediately became aggressive with them, and insulted them. She told them that you were a nobody who could make Chris happy, which she was glad about because she made him happy how. 
Within minutes of this happening the hashtag #cancelmyrawoodfield was trending on twitter. You shamelessly went through the tweets and like and retweeted a couple. Then an idea popped in your head.
With a quick google search, you had a plan. 
You had written a new song called Deja Vu after the peoples choice awards, and it was had been recorded a few weeks ago, and you just had to decide on a date to release it, and make a decision on the music video. Her birthday was in about 3 months, which gave you enough time to get everything in place to drop on her birthday. 
Was it evil? Yes. Did you care? Not really. Besides, you inherited your pettiness from your mother and you knew she’d be proud of you. You called your manager and label, and got it planned out. 
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When the new music video had been announced, Lisa called you and invited you home to watch it premiere with the family. You accepted, knowing Chris and Myra would be there, and that her birthday would get overshadowed by the release of your music video.
So, three weeks later, you were sitting with Lisa, Bob, Carly, Shanna, Scott, Chris and Myra in Lisa’s living room, waiting for the video to premiere.
Scott had picked you up at the airport earlier in the morning along with Carly and Shanna, and the four of you had a laugh about the face that no one acknowledged Myra’s birthday, not even Chris. It was mean, but no one liked her. 
Lisa absolutely hated her, but didn't want to upset Chris, so you got a call shortly after the PCA’s from her and the two of you ranted about her for a good two hours. 
You watched as the timer counted down from 10, and then the screen turned black. You took a deep breath and watched Chris out of the corner of your eye. 
You had searched for a while for a guy who looked similar to Chris, and you stumbled on Andrew Siwicki. He didn't look exactly like Chris, but it was close enough that everyone would know who the song was about if they didn't already. Andrew was a fan of Chris and hated Myra too, so he was more than glad to help you out. 
The music began to play, and you watched as the black screen faded in on two people walking along the beach, holding hands. 
“Car rides to Malibu Strawberry ice cream One spoon for two And trading jackets Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you,”
The next scene was a recreation of yours and Chris’s first date where you two had a picnic on the beach, and ended up splashing each other with the ocean water. Towards the end, everyone watched as Andrew picked you up and threw you into the water the same way Chris always did. 
You glanced at him, and could have burst into laughter at how uncomfortable Chris looked, but more importantly how angry Myra looked. 
“Watching reruns of Glee Being annoying Singing in harmony I bet she's bragging To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm,”
The next scene was you and Andrew (who was dressed as Ransom) on what appeared to be a recreation of the Knives Out set, running around with a dog that looked like Dodger chasing after you, the two of you laughing. The next shot was the two of you kissing behind a trailer, seemingly hiding from production. 
“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you,”
The next scene was the two of you driving through Southern California, in a car that was almost identical to Chris’s. You two were laughing and singing along to the song, your hair whipping around you.
You took a deep breath, knowing this next scene would piss him right off.
“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm Do you get déjà vu, huh?”
This scene was you, along with the rest of Chris’s family sitting around a living room that looked like the one you were in now, a Christmas tree full of presents in the corner. The camera panned across everyone as everyone was talking and settled on you and Andrew and the two of you recreated the scene where Chris whispered in your ear how much he loved you, and couldn't wait to start a family with you. 
“Do you call her Almost say my name? 'Cause let's be honest We kinda do sound the same,”
The screen showed you and Andrew saying goodbye at the airport, with 5 Seconds of Summer standing behind you. They weren't actually there when you left for tour, but Luke suggested it to piss Chris off, and you had agreed. 
Then there was a small montage of clips from tour, including a shot of Michael elbow dropping Ashton into a pool, which made everyone laugh, except Chris and Myra. The montage was followed up by you sitting on the floor of a dressing room and crying as you sent a text that said “I’m done.”
“Another actress I hate to think that I was just your type,”
Now you were on the red carpet, with Calum right beside you. You both were wearing the same clothes you wore on that night, you hair and makeup recreated perfectly. The camera unfocused on you as you turned and looked at Andrew and an actress named Alexa Morrison, who looked a lot like Myra, and they were recreating Chris and Myra’s actions perfectly. The camera swivelled around and came to rest pointing towards your face, as you looked in shock, and a single tear fell down your face. 
“I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel 'Cause you played her Uptown Girl You're singing it together,”
You were shown watching a movie trailer with Ashe sitting next to you, while you sobbed at what Alexa and Andrew were doing. You looked at the camera and began singing the song, while Ashe and everything else around you was frozen.
“Now I bet you even tell her How you love her In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you),”
You were sat on the bed in Chris’s red flannel that you had stolen before leaving for tour, and you were writing in the notebook aggressively with tears rolling down your face and singing.
“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was the show we talked about Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you,”
You were now being shown sitting on the couch, and watching Andrew run across the TV screen dressed as Captain America, an ice cream tub in your hand. You were wearing sweats and a t shirt, your hair in a messy bun.
“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? Oh Do you get déjà vu?”
The camera circled around you before transitioning to the next scene. 
“Strawberry ice cream in Malibu Don't act like we didn't do that shit too You're trading jackets like we used to do (Yeah, everything is all reused),”
You were shown laying down in bed, and your eyes closing before an image of you and Andrew danced, dressed as Steve and Peggy in endgame, a scene Chris always told you the two of you would recreate one day. You had called Hayley and asked if it was okay, and she immediately said yes, and even came and watched you do the scene.
“Play her piano, but she doesn't know (oh, oh) That I was the one who taught you Billy Joel (oh) A different girl now, but there's nothing new (I know you get déjà vu),”
When your eyes opened, you were sitting at your piano, and playing while singing along. 
“I know you get déjà vu I know you get déjà vu,”
Suddenly, the piano disappeared, and you were left standing in an empty living room as the screen faded to black. 
The entire room burst into cheers as the video ended, except for Myra, who looked like she was going to murder you, and Chris who just clapped with a tight lipped smile. 
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Later that night after all the kids had gone to bed and Lisa was driving Bob home,  Scott had pulled you into the kitchen under the pretences of ‘helping him fix a drink’, which ended up just being the two of you gossiping about Chris and Myra, and the music video.
Suddenly, Chris walked in, and nodded for Scott to leave. You cleared your throat and ignored him.
“That was a good song, and an amazing music video.” He said. “I can see you're just getting more and more talented as time-” He began, as you rolled your eyes, and looked at him. 
“What do you want?” You asked bluntly. 
“I just wanted to congratulate you.” He said, and you were about to open your mouth, when Myra came slinking in the room with an evil look on her face. 
“Nice job, Y/N. I’m glad I could inspire your music video.” She said sarcastically, and you could tell Chris was about to defend you, but you opened your mouth first. 
“Well, I’m glad I had such a snake like bitch to draw inspiration from,” You said, and heard Scott, his siblings burst into laughter in the living room. Myra’s jaw dropped and she turned to look at him. You looked up at Chris, who was leaning up against the counter, and biting back a smile.
“You’re just going to let her talk to me like that?” She asked, and Chris sighed.
“Myra, don't start. Not now.” He said, she scoffed. 
“I knew you still loved her. Only a pathetic loser could love someone as ugly and untalented as her.” She spat, and Chris growled. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and you ran out of the room, your drink abandoned on the counter. 
You ran into your bedroom, where you shut the door, and fell onto the bed in tears. 
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Back in the kitchen, Chris had gotten in Myra’s face, and was yelling.
“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN HER LIFE, AND I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO ADD TO THAT!” He screamed, as Scott, Carly, and Shanna ran to the door, unsure of what to do. “SHE IS SO TALENTED, WAY MORE TALENTED THAN YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON PRODUCTION TOOK SO DAMN LONG, IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET A PERFORMANCE OUT OF YOU! YOU OPENLY INSULTED HER AND HER FANS HOURS AFTER YOU WERE ANNOUNCED TO BE IN THIS MOVIE, AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO COME TO ME CRYING BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE FEELINGS GOT HURT!” He screamed, and Shanna ran and backed Chris away from her. 
“YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND! AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY, YET HERE YOU ARE, CONGRATULATING HER FOR A SHITTY MUSIC VIDEO!” Myra screamed, and it was Scott’s turn to get in her face. 
“You need to leave. If you don't we’re going to call the cops.” He stated, and Myra rolled her eyes before storming out of the house. 
Scott turned back to Chris, and was shocked when he saw him in tears. 
“You need to work shit out with Y/N. It’s clear the two of you are still in love, and you need to figure it out as adults,” Scott said, his sisters nodding. Chris took a deep breath, and looked at your closed bedroom door.
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Chris walked up to your bedroom door, and took a deep breath before entering the room where he used to sleep in every night.
He opened the door, and saw you curled up in a ball on the bed, your body still shaking. He smiled sadly, and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed behind you, and rubbed your back gently. 
“I’m sorry. Not just for what Myra said, but for everything. For breaking your heart, and for causing you so much pain. I didn't realize how much I was missing you too until we watched that music video and I saw how truly broken you were. I never noticed that before now. And I’m sorry I didn't. If I’d have, I could have fixed this sooner, and we could be together right now.” He said.
You furrowed your brows at his last sentence and sat up.
“W-What?” You asked, and Chris moved closer. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug. 
“I still love you. So so much.” He smiled, and a tear rolled down his face. “You're my entire world, and not having you here is slowly breaking me apart. I didn't know just how much until today, but I can't live another day without you.” He said. “I’m so sorry I hurt you baby.” He sobbed, and his head buried itself into your hair. Your body shook with sobs too, and you turned around to face him.
“I love you too.” You sobbed out. “I never should have ended things, but-” You said, but were cut off by Chris’s lips on yours, and you felt yourself melting into it.
He pulled away a few seconds later. “Don't. It was my fault, not yours. I am so sorry, and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for it, I promise.” He said, as he stood the two of you up and led you out of the room, and to his.
“Where are we going?” You asked, and Chris pressed a kiss to your cheek.
“I have to grab something.” He said. He opened his closet, and grabbed something out of the top corner before turning to you. 
“I said I planned on spending the rest of my life making it up to you, and I plan on keeping that promise.” He said, as he got down on one knee. You gasped, as he opened the box and your dream engagement ring was inside. “I want you for the rest of my life, and the next. Will you marry me?” he asked, tears pouring down his face, just like yours.
You nodded enthusiastically, and Chris stood up. He placed the ring on your ring finger and scooped you up. “I love you,” You choked out, and Chris sobbed harder into you. 
“I love you too, and I’m never letting you go.”
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rywritten · 3 years ago
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sapnoblade anon here! yeah, that makes sense! i asked mostly cause sapnap is a fav of mine and i enjoy exploring rarepairs (which honestly, is most ships with him). id still love to hear your headcanons! any sap content is good content :)
what a mood.
as an avid sapnap enjoyer myself, im all for writing metas about his character (also dream and techno's as well) so i hope you're ready for the ride bc this is gonna be a long one.
let's talk abt my hc for sapnap as an individual first:
as ive previously stated in my c!technodreamnap ppt presentation, ive characterized him as loyal to a fault. his loyalty is his downfall. once he's included someone on his list of people to protect, he'll do whatever it means in order to fulfill his role as their protector (even if it meant disregarding the needs and protection of others, including himself)
he's also what one would describe as a literal firecracker, in that he's bright, loud, and always buzzing with energy.
the extrovert™
can make friends with anyone. you know those people who can sit with a complete stranger and talk like they've known that person their whole life and its not awkward at all, it's like talking to them is natural bc they make you comfortable? that's sapnap
over protective of his friends, doesn't like it when someone is made the butt of the joke and would probably be the one to stop an entire conversation if he knows it's making one of them uncomfortable.
is pretty chill about most things, unless it's about dream
just the bestest friend anyone could ever hope to wish for
on to the sapnap and techno dynamic you never thought you needed:
they're both petty, like extremely petty when it comes to dream's affection. they are ready to loose face, to do any back handed means, if it means getting on dream's good graces
they are also really competitive, would always try to one up each other when it comes to impressing the object of their affection (in this case, dream)
sap and techno don't get along often bc they have very different personalities that clash and that tends to get messy when the two of them won't back down from an argument, but when they do, they're a deadly pair: they don't like to admit it, but there is mutual respect and when something happens that forces the two of them to work together (ie dream getting hurt) they're probably one of the strongest duo out there
id like add that sap and techno are the true rivals in that they are so equally matched for dream's love and attention and it pisses the both of them to no end
now let's talk dreamnap:
the one thing i will always think about whenever it comes to this ship is how much they know each other.
the very foundation of this ship revolves around their history and friendship. its in the way they are so well in tuned with each other to the point where every breath, every nonverbal queue, the other would make is enough to get their message across. they know each other so well that they could have entire conversations without having to say anything out loud, not to mention the fact that their fighting style and movements are so in sync with each other that it leaves all their enemies defeated, and it's with that knowledge and unparalleled teamwork that makes this ship so interesting
let's get into sap and dream's dynamics a bit more: so we have these two childhood friends, they are both insanely loyal and over protective with each other, and i wholeheartedly believe they would put the other's needs first before anything else. and this fact will lead us into two possible outcomes: where they could either end up having the best childhood friends to lovers ending, or something a lot more heartbreaking...
so a bit of a fact, i tend to avoid the childhood friends to lovers trope when it comes to picking my ships, bc i find it a tad bit boring, but the thing with dreamnap is that they did it right. they didn't go the cinematic route where the two find out they've been harboring feelings for each other and then they magically got together despite all the wrongs and pain they've put each other through, no. what dreamnap did is that they cannot hate each other despite all the awful things: they are mad, hurt, and feel betrayed, but they can never bring their self to hate the other. they still care about it other so deeply that despite the roles they've taken upon (villain and hero, respectively) they still care about each other. and that's amazing.
it's the whole "i know you. ive known you my entire life. ive seen you in your worst but i love you anyway. you've done so much wrong but i cant fault you for all of them. i love you just as much as i hate you. you're everything good in this world. you're all that i have left. i can never leave you. i want to hate you so much for all you've done. but i cant. i can never hate you like that. i want to never see you again, but i still crave for your face–your touch–every single day. you've ruined me just as much as ive ruined you. so let me stay with you forever. i can never let you go." that they have going on, the entire push and pull, the amount of contradiction where they try so hard to leave, only to come back in a heartbeat as soon as they find out the other is hurt or in trouble.
whoever says c!dreamnap is boring and uninteresting clearly needs to get their taste buds checked, bc dreamnap is a fucking five course meal.
im sorry if this got too long.. im not really sure if this was what you were even looking for as an answer, anon. but yeah as you can see, i have a lot to say when it comes to sapnap (and dreamnap lmao)
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iwadori · 4 years ago
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Hiiii can i request prompt 53 with tsukki? My annoying cousin u may know @chibiiichan(i cant tag her its a surprise) recommend ur account and well she never been right more than now I LIKE UR ACC TOO URM JUST TAG HER IN THE POST (bcs its actually her birthday next week monday so....the least i could do this bcs she likes tsukki and shes recently talk abt the iwazumi story of yours....lmao shes cringe but in the same time got mad n i was besides her hearing her whining like bruh 'its 1 am'...i know i should buy something for her but she got spoiled enough 💅...that mf-) thank you ✨
‘ALWAYS AND FOREVER’
TSUKISHIMA X READER
2K WORDS
GENRE: ANGST,FLUFF
TW: SLIGHT AMBIGIOUS MENTION OF SUICIDE/ASSISTED DEATH, AND DEATH, CURSING (IN MY A/N)
THIS IS FOR @chibiiichann Happy birthday, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS (BECAUSE I HATE IT :D ) SOOOOO YEAH I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY.
NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL. EXPECT SLIGHT MISTAKES
You were dying. You knew it. Your husband, Kei, knew it. Even friends you haven’t spoken too since high school knew it.
So why did you all pretend that everything was okay?
5 year old Y/N:
You were running around your neighbourhood park chasing after butterflies, without a care in the world. As you were frollicing in the grass, you manage to trip over a rock tumbling to the ground scraping your knee making it bleed. Looking down at your slightly injured knee, your lip begins to quiver which eventually leads to wails of tears streaming down your face.
“you don’t have to cry you know?” said a slightly quiet voice towering over you. Above you was a boy, quite tall with a fat pair of glasses, golden eyes and a head full of blonde locks.
“Well when I get hurt, I cry” you say matter oh factly (is that the phrase?) rubbing your nose as you sniffle. He held out a hand to you, which you immediately took shooting upwards and brushing yourself off.  
The boy, after looking at you wildly, turns around and walks back to the actual park. “Oi wait,” you call at the boy swiftly following him “aren’t you going to ask my name?”
“no.” he says simply, proceeding to walk ahead.
“well my names Y/N L/N pleasure to meet you,” you say jumping in front of him so he doesn’t move, waiting for him to tell you his name...which he doesn’t. “you don’t have to be so rude you know”  
“I’m not being rude” he says stiffly “ it’s just my brother says not to speak to strangers” a smirk appears on his face to say ‘you can leave me alone now.’  
As if on cue, his brother approaches the both of you given the boy a slap on the back making him cringe “Hey Kei, who’s the friend you’ve made here?”  
“My name is Y/N L/N and I'm here to be KEI’s best friend!” you said putting the emphasis on the word Kei after just learning that was the blondes name.  
Kei rolled his eyes and sighed saying “nii-chan can we go home now” he folded his arms in annoyance.
“No Kei, you’ve got to get to know your new found friend Y/N-Chan right?” his brother said teasingly, knowing it was the last thing Kei wanted to do.
“Yes ofcourse!” you say with a toothy grin, dragging Kei along with you to his demise.
Until the sun went down, you spent the rest of your time with Kei getting to know eachother (well him getting to know you more, since you did all the speaking.) Regardless of his previous annoyance in getting to know you in the first place, Kei would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know you now.
As the sun was setting, Kei’s older brother (who’s name you learned was Akiteru) called him to tell him he had to go home because dinner was ready. Before he left, you grabbed his hand and wrapped your pinky finger around his saying “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”
back to present -  
In some odd way, this was Kei’s way of looking out for you. He knew what you had was uncurable and would weaken you even more as the days go by, so pretending like nothing was wrong seemed to be best in his eyes.  
Everything you and Kei did was a game or some nostalgic act that you once did when you were children. It was sweet to say the least, seeing Kei all engrossed and determined to make you happy.  
Your alarm rings snapping you out of you daydream, ‘it was time for medicine’ you thought with your face scowling at the thought. Immediately on time, as always, Kei comes In the room with all your medicine thats needed.
“Aren’t you my perfect little nurse Kei” you say teasingly giving him a wink, laughing as you see his face turn red.
“Do you have to do this every time y/n?” he asks rolling his eyes at your childish behaviour.
“Oh I'm just showing love to my best and favourite nurse” you continue laughing at your own words
“Im your only ‘nurse’” he deadpans giving you your medicine as you talk.
“Well that is more reason to make you the best nurse.” you say smiling.
Silence falls between you, and you stare down at your arm watching as your husband gives you the medicine making you frown. “Do we have to keep doing this?” you ask which is probably the 1000th time you’ve asked.
“Of course we do Y/N as I’ve said yesterday and the day before that and the day before that it-”
“But do we really?” you interrupt “I can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep doing this.”
“Do you doubt me Y/N, I can do this forever” he says “ I can take care of you forever”
“But I don’t wan-”
“I’m finished, I’m going to start on dinner” he gets up and leaves the room yelling “I’ll call you when it’s done.”
Sometimes you and Kei have these conversations. And all the time it ends the same way. You complain, he ignores and then you go and have dinner.
You can understand why he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Who would want to hear about their partners complaints about practically being alive. Kei was torn, ever since he met you all he wanted to was to keep you happy. But could he compromise his own happiness for it.
15 year old Y/N - flashback
“Kei Kei, aren’t you excited!” you yell smiling widley
“Excited for what?” he asks, amused by your enthusiasm “it’s just highschool.”
“Well it’s a new highschool! Karasuno high school, to be exact.”
“And that is still just a school.” he says
“Not just any! That’s the school nii-chan went too, and even tho he lie-”
“Let’s not talk about it Y/N” he murmurs “we should go now, don’t want to be late on our first date.”
Going to Karasuno was fun, at the start everyone was pleasant and nice. But after a week or two when you and Kei were still stuck to eachother like glue, people weren’t so pleasant. Kei was like a pop idol, being gorgeous and over 6ft at just the age of 15, caused alot of attention, especially when he was always around you.
At the start, the hate you got was bearable, it was the petty bitchy notes in your locker or just people blatanly talking badly about you infront of you. People didn’t do it when you weren’t around Kei, so when he had volleyball practice (which you were so excited that he joined the team) you were a big target for the bullies to come around.
Kei didn’t really know of the bullying that happened towards you, especially since he was mainly in practice or not around when it happened. But one day in practice he heard some of his teammates, kageyama and hinata who seemed to talking about a student in one of their classes that was always getting picked on by the other girls in the year.
“Yeah and I heard that Nana-san was planning on getting her and her friends to attack Y/N-san soon.”  said Hinata
“Shrimpy, who are they planning on attacking?” Kei asks to make sure he just heard the ginger correctly.
“Oh this lovely person in our class their name is Y/N-san” he says, looking at Kei’s reaction he also asks “Why? Do you know them?”  
Kei doesn’t respond, and immediately leaves the gym, ignoring Hinata’s and the other members of the teams yells of ‘Where are you going tsukishima.’ He didn’t care, he just had to get to you.  
He searched all the classes, asking every student if he knew where you were. Someone directs him to the toilets, where he burst through the door to see the other girls in your year surrounding you and beating you up.  
“What the fuck are you doing to them?” he yells startling the girls.
“T-T-Tsukishima-san" one girl says “It’s not what it looks like.”
“Oh fuck off” he says, with them still frozen in shock “I said go!”  
“And don’t think I don’t know your names either” he calls after them.
He rushes towards your bruised body on the ground and cradles you gently, confused on what to really do. “Oi Kei,” you say weakly catching his attention “I would’ve won if you didn’t come to stop the fight.” you joke making him scoff.
“Whatever you say Y/N.”
After you heal up, Kei already told on the girls that beat you up getting them suspended, and you explain how they were treating you because of their infatuation of him. And how they only did it when he wasn’t around.
Once he learns this information, he decides to quite the volleyball team, to your surprise. But you demands on making him not quit were ignored, as he excused it by saying “I have to make sure you’re always alright remember, and if that means quitting some volleyball team then so be it.”
That was one out of the many times that Kei put his happiness before yours.
Flashback over.
When you first got diagnosed, Kei was immediately researching on it as it was a very rare condition. But sadly, he only found what the doctor already told you both. It was uncurable and your immune system and your body will weaken as the days go by.
Which it did, you were a shell of your past self. It was always shocking for Kei to see, especially with you only being 25. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be this way,’ but he never let you see his sadness.
Whenever you knew Kei was sad you always reminded him “Kei, I may be dying but please don’t cry over me” every time you said, there was a slight undertone of humour in your voice which always worked in boosting Kei’s spirit.
AN: IVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HATE THIS SOOO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHITTING RUSHED ENDING IM GOING TO PROVIDE FOR YOU LOL.
The days passed and the years went by, and you and Kei were still alive and kicking it. Doing your daily routine of you making some joke, Kei giving you your medicine and then you eating dinner. You eventually stopped complaining, realizing and remembering your promise you gave to Kei at 5 years old in that park. “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”
Of course you had your rough days, everybody did and it was even harder being sick with a terminal illness. But having Kei to guide you through the storm made It better for you.
However, Kei isnt a miracle worker. He couldn’t save you, noone could. And you both knew that. That didn’t mean it made it any easier when the medicine stopped working and your pain got too hard to bear. Kei couldn’t watch you do this anymore, “the choice is yours” he said with tears in his eyes.  
So you knew what you had to do, you got in your bed pulling Kei with you, and letting him envelope you in a big hug as you both cried.
“I love you,” you say “You know that right?”
“Of course I know that, idiot” he replies “And I love you.”
“Always and forever?”
“Always and forever.”
AN: how did I END UP CRYING WHILST WRITING THIS WHEN IT MADE NO FUCKING SENSE, I WAS TRYING TO DO THIS COOL NOTEBOOK (I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE NOTEBOOK) ENDING WHERE ITS AMBIGIOUS AND SHIT AND I JUST GIVE UP OKAY? I APOLOGISE LOOOOOOL. I HOPE YOU ENJOY ATLEAST A SENTENCE OF THIS AT LEAST.
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twinkleton · 4 years ago
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how abt a douxie x reader fic where douxie and the reader are enemies to lovers back in camelot, but merlin, being able to glimpse into the future, knows they’ll be together in the end, so he pushes douxie to be nicer to the reader! I love your writing btw! your douxie imagine was so precious 💗
hello! thanks for your ask! and thank you so much! it was hard to think of a reason as why douxie would hate the reader, but then I rewatched the first episode of wizards and got my inspo for this fic :) hope you enjoy!
tw: blood
“Don’t be afraid, I’m here to help you,” said Morgana, as she held out her hand to a girl with her back against the wall, tucked away in a back alley. The girl had just been caught performing magic by a guard, which was strictly forbidden in Camelot. To avoid being thrown in a dungeon, she sprinted off towards the nearest alleyway, however luckily for her she was spotted by the only person who could possibly help her.
“Please don’t turn me in, I swear I’ll never do magic again. Please just let me go-” Morgana cut her pleas.
“Not practicing magic is the last thing I want from you, dear,” she assured. Morgana handed the girl her cloak, prompting her to wear it. “What is your name?” she asked.
“Y/N. I’m afraid I have no family name.”
“Never be ashamed of that, Y/N. Be proud that you have no legacy to follow. Your destiny is entirely your own,” Morgana placed her hand on her shoulder. A sigh of relief came from Y/N. She felt safe enough to let her guard down and trust this woman. Trust being something she hadn’t given anyone in so long. 
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“To the King’s castle, you’ll be safe there,” 
“But the King hates anything and everything involved with magic!” Y/N exclaimed. 
“True,” Morgana led her out of the alley and towards the path to the castle. “However, his sister makes the exception,” Y/N gave a soft gasp. She’d never known the King had a sister. This calmed her worries as they headed to what would be her new home.
-----------------  
Adjusting to life at the castle was pretty simple for Y/N. She got along great with Merlin, King Arthur never threw her into the dungeon, and Morgana introduced her to magic beyond what she ever thought she’d be capable of. There was only one person who kept it from being perfect. Hisirdoux.
“For the last time, will you please stop touching my belongings?!” Y/N snapped, grabbing her spellbook Hisirdoux was trying to read from his hands. In her opinion, he had been doing absolutely anything to get on her nerves the past few weeks she’s been here. She went to take a seat at the desk in Merlin’s study that they were both in. 
“I don’t understand why Merlin and Morgana trust you with magic but not me! I’ve been here much longer than you have!” Hisirdoux complained. Here he was, tasked to sweep the floor for the thousandth time, while Y/N is practicing spells he hasn’t even heard of yet. He didn’t even recognize the spellbook Merlin gave her. He sat on top of a pile of books in a corner. 
Y/N scoffed. “Maybe it’s because I have some things called discipline and control. Things you clearly lack,” she spat, flipping a page in her book. 
“I do not lack control!” The broom he had tried bewitching earlier whacked him upside the head, as if in response. 
“Even your broom agrees with me,” Y/N teased. 
That was enough to set something off in Hisirdoux. Unbeknownst to her, he managed to read one spell from her book before she took it away. Now, he has the bright idea to test it. 
Y/N was too focused in her reading to notice Hisirdoux switching his bracelet to the rune needed for the spell. He planted his feet, took a deep breath in, and held his hands out towards him. 
“Ortum obumbratio, ortum obumbratio, ortum obumbratio,” he repeated over and over, and all of the light in the room darkened. There was suddenly a chill in the air.
It was his second repeat that Y/N recognized as one of the spells from her book. It was definitely the worst spell for Hisirdoux to be doing. She shot up from her seat.
“Hisirdoux! Are you insane?! This book is shadow magic, it is way too dangerous for you!” Her hands came to her side, glowing scarlet with her magic. 
He gave no response, still repeating the spell again and again. It seemed the shadows were taking over him, with streaks of black starting to form all over his skin, and his eyes turning back as well. Slowly, dark phantoms came creeping along the walls of the study. One came up behind Y/N, reaching to grab her. She felt the presence and quickly backed away from it. She wasn’t, however, fast enough to avoid another shadow, which slashed at her. It striked her all along her chest to her left shoulder. She let out a cry from the pain. Blood immediately started spilling from the wound.
“Hisirdoux, you have to snap out of it!” she yelled. Still nothing from him. She saw no other choice.
“I’m sorry,” she warned, as she shot her magic towards him, causing him to fly across the room, slamming against a bookcase, causing it to fall. Y/N pulled him away from the bookcase before it landed on him. The shadows suddenly vanished, with the light flooding back into the room. Hisirdoux awoke with a gasp. 
-----------------
Merlin had been at his wits end with the two apprentices. The constant bickering and fighting made absolutely no good environment for him to create the amulet needed for the upcoming war. Y/N was a talented and bright witch, but her attachment to Morgana could lead her on the wrong path. Merlin needed something to keep that from happening. 
An idea had come into his mind earlier to use the time map. Hisirdoux and Y/N were taking residence in his study so he decided to move to another room nearby before opening it. He sat down on the bed inside, and opened the map. He scrolled through time, what he was searching for he wasn’t entirely certain. However, he eventually found it in the twenty-first century. The map showed Hisirdoux and Y/N in a tight embrace, then letting each other go slightly only to pull into a loving kiss, over and over again in a loop. 
He let out a small chuckle, staring affectionately at the image. 
“Love will always conquer evil, won’t it Hisirdoux?”
A loud bang abruptly came from his study. He quickly hid the map away and ran towards the sound.
-------------------
“WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON IN HERE?!” Merlin bellowed. 
It was a justifiable response to the sight he held. His study was a mess, books and trinkets scattered all across the room. Pieces of glass were shattered and all over the floor. One of his bookcases was entirely knocked over, where a dazed and confused Hisirdoux laid beside it. Y/N had collapsed to the floor, leaning against the wall. She was covering her wound with her hand, albeit unsuccessfully as blood was seeping through her fingers. 
Morgana had burst into the room as well, wide-eyed and appalled at what she was currently witnessing. 
“Hisirdoux, Y/N, explain yourselves this instant!” she commanded. 
Hisirdoux was at a loss for words. The idea of having to explain what happened mortified him.
“I-I didn’t mean, I didn’t mean for this-Y/N I’m so sorry-”
“I’ll tell you what happened,” Y/N rose up from the ground, grimacing from the pain coming from her injury.
She made direct eye contact with Merlin. “Your apprentice thought it’d be a good idea to perform shadow magic, something he has never been able to accomplish. I’d congratulate him on achieving it this time, if I didn’t have to save him from it consuming him due to his lack of control,” she throws him a nasty glare. Hisirdoux retreats his eyes to the floor. 
“Hisirdoux, is what she’s accusing of you true?” Merlin questioned. He had no benefit of doubt in his tone however. 
It takes everything in him to look up at everyone. All of their faces are brimming with disappointment. 
“Yes. It’s true,” he confessed. 
“Y/N,” Morgana calls. Y/N walks over to her. “Let’s deal with that wound before it gets infected.”
She glances towards Merlin. “Deal with him, or I will.” With that threat hanging in the air, she and Y/N leave. 
Merlin says nothing to Hisirdoux, which fuels his anxiety more than him speaking ever would. 
“Master, please say something.” he pleaded.
“Do you realize the destruction you have caused?” Merlin spat.
“Yes I-”
“You’ve destroyed my study.”
“I know I-”
“You almost brought dark shadows that would wreak havoc on Camelot.”
“Yes! Please-”
“And worst of all!” Merlin shouted. “You almost got Y/N and yourself killed.”
Hisirdoux sank at that. He was ashamed of all of it, but what he regretted the most of all was putting Y/N in danger. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself had he gotten her killed. They had their differences and petty arguments, but the last thing he wanted was her death. She didn’t deserve that. 
“I-I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I just wanted to prove for once I was capable of something greater. That you could trust me with more than just sweeping.” He looked over to where the broom was, walked over and picked it up off the floor. “I was wrong, all I’ll ever be capable of is clean up duty.”
Merlin let out a big sigh. “Hisirdoux, I know you are capable of far more than sweeping. Your skill will undoubtedly match with Y/N.”
Hisirdoux looked up at Merlin, with eyes almost pleading for him to continue.
“I’m afraid it’s my own fear that is holding you back. The stronger you become, the greater the threats you will have to face. However, running errands for me and Morgana keeps you safe and away from harm. I owe you an apology, had it not been for my trepidation, none of this would’ve happened.”
Of all of the possible responses he could’ve gotten, Hisirdoux wasn’t expecting that one. He has never seen this caring side of Merlin before, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it. 
There’s a moment of silence again, only this time it’s ended by Merlin giving Hisirdoux two strong pats on the shoulder. Hisirdoux grins. 
Merlin continues, “Now, about dear Y/N.”
The grin on Hisirdoux’s face vanishes. “Please don’t tell me I have to apologize right now.”
“Go apologize to her right now. And don’t-”
“But Master!-”
“But Master me. And do something about this mess.”
And with that, Merlin leaves the study, leaving Hisirdoux alone with the mess and his thoughts.
-------------------
A few hours later, Y/N was resting in her room when she heard a knock at the door. 
“Who’s there?”
Hisirdoux opened the door, poking his head out sheepishly.
“It’s me, may I come in?” he asks.
“That depends, are you going to try to kill me again?”
“Not today, maybe next week?”
That earns a small laugh from Y/N.
“Come in, you fool.”
He walks in, immediately noticing her chest and shoulder wrapped up. Some blood has soaked through the gauze. The feeling of guilt invades his heart.
“Y/N I am so, so deeply sorry. I should have never tried that spell. You were right, I had no control. I let my ego get the best of me. Please, forgive me.”
She takes a deep breath in, then out, and finally smiles at him.
“Mind helping me switch the wrappings?” she asked kindly, apology clearly accepted.
He’s grinning from ear to ear, excited at the chance of helping her for what could be the first time since they met. He sits down beside her on her bed, taking out the gauze from the dresser next to the bed.
Y/N has already started unwrapping the gauze from her shoulder, wincing once it becomes too hard to do the rest on her own. Hisirdoux takes over from there, slowly and carefully undoing the rest for her. Once the wound is revealed, another twinge of regret hits Hisirdoux.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, his words laced with remorse.
“You’ve already apologized, really it’s my turn to apologize to you,” Y/N replies softly.
He begins wrapping her shoulder up again, “Whatever for? You were right about all of it. I’m a screw up.”
“Hey,” Y/N uses her good arm to raise a hand to his cheek, moving his face towards hers. He looks into her eyes, realizing for the first time just how vibrant they are. 
“You’re not a screw up, you just haven’t reached your full potential yet. Besides, I’m not perfect at all. You’re lucky you’re not there when I train with Morgana. It can be a real hot mess sometimes, literally I almost burned Morgana’s hair off one time,” she joked. Hisirdoux laughs, wishing he could’ve been there to see that.
“I’m sorry for not being fair to you these past few weeks.” Y/N says remorsefully. By now Hisirdoux has finished wrapping up her shoulder.
He replies, “How’s the idea of starting over sound?” She beams at him, clearly agreeing with the idea. “Sounds perfect, Douxie.”
He smiled, liking the new nickname she’s given him. Y/N realizes she still has her hand on his face, and lets it fall off. Douxie catches it instead, and they hold each other’s hand, gossiping and poking fun at their masters for a while.
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haikyooot · 3 years ago
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Waiiit, that aside I have a question. emii what did you like abt kourai? Sorry if u have explained it somewhere. Im just asking myself the same question and im curious abt you... no pressure to answer tho ✌
*manga spoilers*
cw: brief mention of depression, self-harm
I think it's so fascinating how Kourai might, at first, totally be a comical character that is there for laughs but suddenly grow onto you in a really really heartfelt way. But in short, he motivates me to be the best version of me I can be.
Keep reading at your discretion, it's half not-a-sob, personal rant, with mixed love letters to the seagull.
He's not just "another foil to Hinata" their journeys are really different. Their personalities and the way they deal with challenges are different too. It's funny, I'm usually never into a character who's "younger brother" because I'm the eldest daughter LMAO. But I do have an older cousin I was constantly compared to, and he would indirectly belittle me growing up. Maybe I felt Hoshiumi in that way.
I have very tiny hands and the first hobby I picked up as a kid was piano. My hands stopped growing since like second or third grade, and soon a lot of piano pieces I wanted to play were just difficult. Ironically, the pieces I loved playing the most "required" very large hands. Maybe it was a pride thing. I just wanted to play them.
I remember wishing every birthday that I would be taller, grow a bit more. That never happened either, and height has always been a source of insecurity and pain.
And other people would look at me, my hands, and tiny feet and sometimes really see me as someone to be taken care of. Some mean well, others actually maliciously, but regardless my own stubbornness ah. My pride and stubbornness. So, to prove myself to myself and to others, I carried over a quarter my body weight on my back and solo-traveled. I climbed mountains alone because I can. And I can do all sorts of stuff around the house fixing things, making things, I can do it, don't look down on me. It makes me proud of myself too. Ultimately, it became about me and myself. I think Hoshiumi and volleyball is also ultimately about him and himself.
I suppose what I mean to say with those anecdotes is that Hoshiumi's growth and success reminded me of my own growth journey. There's a few other hq characters too, but let's focus on the birb.
Relatability aside....
He's SUCH a good friend. So observant and caring. He recognized and stopped Sachirou from hurting himself, valuing the well-being of his friend first. He's just full of love and care, I know it. Because I bet when he's feeling down, he punished himself enough. Just how much bravery and will does it take to continue, to keep going, and fighting the way he does? I just want to hug him and be hugged by him.
The whole, "no one will die" speech? Much needed reality check really. I would be so so caught up with every test, every grade I got until I absolutely burned out. It was such a horrible and painful part of my uni life. But Hoshiumi's line reminded me really, also what my professor and therapist had told me too....you know in the long run, it's all gonna really be okay. And as long as I continue moving forward, other opportunities open up too. The way I'm fixated on and so obsessed with isn't the only way. And if it's causing me pain, maybe it's not the best way at all, because I should put my wellbeing first.
But Hoshiumi also isn't just "ah just quit it all". He's so well balanced between finding the balance of self-care and hard work...[not a birb, but I think i love Kita because of this too]
Hoshiumi's hard work. Have you seen in the lingering background, how Hoshiumi was described as being on the bench? He's also seen doing ballboy tasks too. So, the Hoshiumi we see on the court is relatively new. In those circumstances, he still got picked to be U-19 is so so incredible and proof of his hard work and talent.
I know he has these comical and even petty af competition with Hinata, but laughs aside, Hoshiumi didn't see Hinata as someone coming after his title as short king. When he told Hinata, "I'll be waiting for you". It was telling Hinata that he'll be waiting for him to return. Hoshiumi believes in Hinata to become pro, to be a part of a whole new beginning of 'shorter' players in volleyball. Either way, between the two of them, it's a win. And I really respect and admire him for that. (Actually) Humble birdie.
You see how friendly and happy he is with some of the kids in timeskip and you just know that after maturing a bit too, how easy-going he is actually. Esp after mellowing out just a tad. He loves what he does, does his best, he's thankful for where he's at. I imagine him as someone who gives the best advice and encouragements, but also won't shy away from giving a reality-check when needed, only as a push forward.
And finally I'm a visual person. Look how cute baby hoshiumi is. Look how eccentric teen Hoshiumi is. Look how how dilfy timeskip Hoshiumi is. He probably slightly cringes at his teen, badminton shuttlecock hair that he thought looked super cool hahaha. He has my heart.
But anyways, in short, he motivates me to be the best version of me I can be.
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sukumen · 4 years ago
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YEEEEES i'm glad u like it 👀like can u imagine how elated he is to have her FINALLY look at him after yearning for a thousand years and having to pick up the pieces of her twisted relationship with sukuna during their first life? because she was probably hurting all the time struggling between loving sukuna and being obligated to fight him. imagine they were best friends so she cries into his arms and bares her soul but he couldn't!! do anything!! except comfort her bc her heart wasn't his!! 🥴
ok back AGAIN bc i deadass have been thinking abt a reincarnated sorceress / gojo / sukuna for DAYS so when i saw u drop those drabbles i was like oh my god someone to talk to jakdslfjs 🤪but i always thought about how sukuna probs used to be a rlly powerful sorcerer who turned into a curse?? like maybe a group of humans hurt the reader and he just got so pissed he cursified himself which is y the reader's gotta exorcise her husband now 😔at one point i was like "lmao what if she's pregnant too"
like sami imagine hotshot sorcerer!sukuna and michizane (it's what i've taken to calling pre-reincarnation gojo 👀) competing over our sweetheart priestess in their og lives and how that translates to pettiness in their current lives lmaooo. plus the outfits from that time (~heian era) are so pretty, the three of them paint such a lovely picture!! anyways more angst: sukuna and the priestess never being able to fight 100% against each other bc "fuck that's my wife/husband" SORRY for the spam 💋
omg don’t worry at all about the spam, i’m living! i have so many thoughts about this highkey, so i’m just going to ramble haha. read more for slight spoilers!
ok i’ve always been so curious about sukuna’s origin story; all we know at this point obvi is that he was a human sorcerer originally, so i’m right there with you re: some major turning point between that and him being a curse. and i think it would provide some valid background for why reader, as a priestess at that time, would even be around him enough to fall in love. like god can you imagine them having the type of dynamic that gojou, getou, and ieiri had in school? a trio growing up and realizing their powers for good side by side until one strays?
michizane and sukuna don’t necessarily like each other, but there’s a clear respect for each other’s power and skill. the real glue keeping them together, though, is the reader who’s been in both of their lives as long as they can remember and is the only other sorcerer around that rivals their skill.
they’ve both loved you for as long as they can remember too, but there’s always been something about sukuna in particular. he’s rougher around the edges, and is more inclined to make you mad than michizane is (you have that regal upbringing to thank for that), but for every argument, there’s a tender touch. For every eye roll, there’s a longing glance.
you’re so caught up in his that you never notice the ones from michizane too.
your relationship isn’t really a surprise. nor is the engagement or pregnancy announcement that follows. it causes a lot of stir all the same though - two of the most powerful sorcerers coming together is bound to send ripples in friendly and enemy circles alike.
unfortunately for you, the returning tide is too fast for you to see coming.
can you imagine if it wasn’t even curses that attacked you? but cursed users of a different sorcerer faction trying to break your union because the two of you together would ruin any plans they had for taking over the jujutsu world?
you manage to survive the attack, but your unborn child does not and the loss sends you both in a spiral. with everything you know about how curses are created, you do a good job of accepting the loss without denying yourself a period of mourning. sukuna, on the other hand, just...spirals. He can’t see you sad, hurt without feeling rage --- add to that the loss of a baby and you get hatred, fury, bloodlust.
he becomes so obsessed with revenge and retribution that he slips further and further away until he’s gone altogether. 
he swears he’s doing everything he is for you though - this crusade against jujutsu sorcerers. he tells himself it’s the only way you can be happy together, the only way he can know for sure that no one else will hurt you: to kill them all.
and even when you plead with him otherwise, he has his mind set. he will not stand down.
shift gears and that’s where you get you and michizane growing closer in this rough time - you crying to him about how to draw sukuna back from the edge (though, really, he’s already long past it). He doesn’t say it out of care and love for you, but he can’t understand why you’re even trying anymore. it’s like an unspoken agreement that sukuna has to be stopped before he ruins the world as you all know it.
but you just don’t agree. you know the man you love and you know his motivations - you think he can still be helped. 
which just makes it so upsetting that in the end, the war Sukuna starts is what kills you --- and that he has to be the one to take that light out of your eyes. :(
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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years ago
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animorphssss.....2!
ok one L abt reading the series on my ereader is that the flipbook illustrations arent there ;_; those were my favvvvv
anyways I love animorphs still
I feel like I'll end up repeating myself a lot during these little liveblogs lmao but mannnn it’s so good. its so hardcore. like I know that that’s the whole Thing but I still get shocked by some of the stuff that happens 
like a big theme in the series centers around the morality of killing your enemies - and it’s so all over the place bc in book 6 you have jake boiling a bunch of yeerks alive, which is kinda gnarly if you think abt it, but the alternative would be to leave them there and let them infest people soo...? and that’s basically the point, that there are never any easy choices in war 
also I went on the animorphs wiki to look at trivia bc I love doing that and I cant BELIEVE (some of) the books were reissued in 2011 and they changed/removed some of the references to be more ‘modern’ omfg....talk about erasing 90s culture smh 
likeeee I was born in 97 so I didn't exactly grow up in the 90s and therefore some of the references go over my head but its so charming and fun to have them there! and it makes sense given that the books are SET in the 90s
I don't remember ever being confused by any of the references as a kid (tho for sure a lot of them went over my head), but then again I read the books in like 2008 sooo
also some of the stuff that they change - like changing ‘recorded w/a vcr’ to ‘recorded w/the TV’ or ‘floppy disc’ to ‘flash drive’ may make more sense to modern audiences, but doesn't make sense in the context of the story still being set in the 90s
tho it is funny that the books use the phrase ‘hook up’ to mean ‘meet up’ a lot bc that is a phrase that definitely has a different meaning nowadays
alsooooo as it turns out I'm p sure I only read a couple of the spinoffs - the hork-bajir chronicles and the ellimist chronicles (which was confusing lmao), bc my library didn’t have the others :( 2007/2008 woes....
but now I get to read the spinoffs woooooooo so I read the first megamorphs and the andalite chronicles 
I'm reading them in the chronological order (I think?) which is good bc part of the problem was that I read the ellimist book at a completely weird time and it confused me more lmao
megamorphs 1 basically felt like a regular animorphs book except longer, but the plot didn't feel like it needed all that extra page space tbh? even so it was an entertaining adventure
and rachel having amnesia was great, amnesia is one of my fav tropes lmao. and it was a lot of fun here, though a bit underutilized 
another favorite trope of mine is time travel, so I'm gonna have a really fun time here w/that
as for the andalite chronicles, I really enjoyed that one. I thought it was a well done story about the horrors of war (which is a theme animorphs does excellently), kind of similar to the overarching story of the whole series, but fit into one book without feeling rushed
the way the story starts out with elfangor wanting to be a hero, not understanding what that entails, to the end where he IS going to be a hero, and he knows now that this is a burden rather than a reward 
the horror elements are also really strong, with the taxxon morph being horrifying of course
and mannnn I loved that we got to see more of the taxxons as a species, and see that not all taxxons submitted to the yeerks - which breaks the previous theme of ‘all the taxxons are evil just because’ 
this book also establishes that the taxxons gave themselves over to the yeerks due to their constant hunger being unbearable, so it isn’t just that they’re evil for fun 
animorphs does such an excellent job showing that each ‘side’ of a war will have good and bad (or at least sympathetic and unsympathetic) people 
also loren was awesome, what a cool character. though I didn't realize she was literally like 13 until the very end of the book, holy shit. that's crazy. i thought she was 16 at the youngest....geez. her throwing a rock at visser 3 is even more iconic knowing she's a middle schooler at the time
and chapman was here! I'm assuming this must be the same chapman as the assistant principal controller... I thought it was a little strange to put chapman in that role, bc in this book he was a huge asshole basically the entire time, but in the previous (’future’) book it was revealed that he became a controller willingly only to spare his daughter, which is pretty far from this book where he’s actively trying to sell humanity out to the yeerks...people change I guess? (also he got his memory erased so I guess there's that)
alloran was a really interesting character. horrors of war again - we hear from his old buddy that he used to be a fun, witty guy, but war changed him into somebody who would do horrible things 
and him becoming a controller was horrifying, obviously, but I like that alloran wasn't portrayed as some perfect, holy guy in order to make it all the more tragic when he got infested. its already fucked up enough as it is, and making him flawed was a lot more meaningful 
and him wanting to flush all the yeerks out into space....oooooof the (later) parallels hurt 
plus the fact that elfangor refusing to commit genocide against the helpless yeerks (even though they’re the enemy) directly contributing to alloran becoming a controller.....oof. I love that it shows that even making the morally correct decisions during war can lead to awful things happening, but not in a way that endorses evil actions - the story isn’t saying that elfangor should have killed the yeerks, it’s saying that there are no good choices in war 
arbron being trapped as a taxxon was fucked up. but also really intriguing, especially how he found purpose and led a free taxxon uprising. I don't remember if we hear from him/the free taxxons again but I hope so
also the plot twist of tobias being elfangors SON...bruh. I do remember that despite not having read this book so it must come up in the main story later but my memory of that is vauge so I’m excited to see how that plays out. it’s always gonna be hilarious to me that ax is technically tobias’s uncle 
and then the ellimist drops in and wacks up the time stream even more. classic. I love the crazy time travel stuff in animorphs
omfg and the bits where elfangor is a human tech guy and talked about his friends bill and steve LMAOOOOO
also the scene where elfangor drives the yellow mustang while blasting '(I cant get no) satisfaction’ by the rolling stones was one of the most iconic things I've ever read
basically I loved all the angles of war fucking people up. from loren’s dad, to alloran, to elfangor himself learning about the true horrors of war...v well done imo
ok back to the main series - so my pick for the most fucked up scene SO FAR (in my own personal opinion) - the scene where they're in the jungle and rachel passes out in bear morph and a bunch of rainforest ants start EATING HER ALIVE and like crawling into her ears and mouth and HGGGGGG that was genuinely so fucking disturbing
its a good thing that the time travel made it so rachel couldn't remember that bc that was fuuuuucked
another contender is a scene we don't actually see - erek having his capacity for violence instated and then slaughtering a ton of human and hork-bajir controllers 
like damn, you know its fucked up when its too fucked up for ANIMORPHS to even ‘show.’ this is a series that doesn't pull punches but evidentially that would've been Too Much to actually portray (understandably). also i feel like seeing the aftermath/everyone’s reactions had more of an impact than describing erek killing a bunch of people would have
also I forgot that marco Literally Fucking Dies during that scene and that's why he doesn't get to see the slaughter. wow
and then in the very next book JAKE dies too. jesus
oh it was also so sad and fucked up when marco’s dad told him that he and his wife used to fight sometimes, but then all of a sudden they stopped fighting, and their relationship was basically entirely peaceful and perfect - and this is how marco knows exactly when his mom was made into a controller, bc of course a yeerk wouldn't care enough to get into petty arguments like that....ooooof
Okay and book 15 really got me...that was fucking heavy man. Geeeez. Everything w/Marco and his mom is so fucked uppppp
Like he literally has to deal with so much awful traumatizing shit. The scene where he pretends to be a controller and is face to face w/visser one and THAT HIS MOM but he can’t even do anything, and he just sees the evil in her eyes and thinks about how there’s no way she had been controlled by a yeerk that long before bc he’s never seen her look like that...that was so fucking sad.
Plus Marcos mom now thinking that Marco is a controller...aughh...and then later Marco knows he can’t even think-speak to her bc he’ll just talk about everything he’s wanted to talk about to his mom this whole time... ;_;
And the parts where Marcos humor slips and the utter rage he feels towards the situation comes through...man
Plus everything about him being understandably afraid of sharks after being nearly torn in half by one back during their first dolphin adventure
Augh oh and jake telling Marco that everyone can tell something is up bc Marco isn’t joking around and talking about how insane their plan is like usual, so Marco fakes it sand does all that even tho he’s terrified and conflicted...aughhhh
Ok and the last scene where Marco is thinking about a future where he and his parents can talk plainly about how awful and traumatizing everything is, and then eventually they’ll feel okay enough to joke about it, bc Marcos mom is the one who taught him to look at the funny side of life...Oh The Pain
There were a lot of great fucked up individual lines in this book too. I’m just so sad about these poor middle schoolers jfc
Also I do distinctly remember the scene where they collapse the shark tank at Ocean World or w/e, it was weird af reading it bc I remembered none of the rest of the book but got weird deja vu reading that scene and remembering having read it like 13+ years ago
if it’s not clear by now I have a pretty terrible memory for media which is honestly good bc then I can reread things and it’s like new
Also jake...man...I said it previously but I was kinda eh about jake when I first read these bc he’s kinda the ‘basic’ character, but now I find his story much more interesting
His conflict over being leader is really good. KAA does a fantastic job capturing the pressure he’s under bc he was chosen by his friends to be the leader, so he REALLY can’t back out, and he doesn’t necessarily feel up to it, but feels he has no choice in the matter...
And constantly having to make really difficult decisions that could get his friends killed...geez. It’s so much pressure. And he talks about wanting to go back to being a normal kid when this is all over, and it kinda strikes me as him being in denial - like, there’s no way things can ever be ‘normal’ again, but that’s his way of coping.
Especially with Tom and all that. That conflict is so compelling...jake having to play all these different roles - as leader, as a son/student, as a regular brother to Tom - he’s constantly having to act a certain way and rarely gets to be Himself
It’s actually kinda relatable in a way - that feeling of being In Charge, but in a somewhat abstract and informal way, so you feel like regular old you, but you have to carefully regulate how you act bc the people around you expect a certain standard of behavior from you...
And all the morally grey situations they’re put in are fucked up, but especially for jake who has the final say on what they do, even when knowing it could lead to his friends being killed or made into controllers
Like in the book with the cannibal yeerk guy - there’s basically no good choices there. Jake lets the cannibal live, and (at first) implies that it’s for the best that he’s cannibalizing other yeerks and therefore helping get rid of some yeerks - except that he kills their hosts too
but the alternative would be to directly kill another human being who isn't actively fighting/resisting you, which is a fucked up thing for a middle schooler to have to do 
And the conflict between jake and Cassie is really excellent bc jake has to make these awful decisions, and Cassie is the type of person who can’t stand that sort of thing, so it gets left up to jake a lot, but then she’s upset with jake for doing something awful, even while knowing that there were no better options
like, her asking jake to kill the cannibal guy for her was really fucked up, but also entirely understandable for cassie as a character to ask. it was an emotionally charged situation, and cassie is an emotional person. she’s also somebody who like to Act, to do concrete good, and getting rid of an Evil Bad Guy in front of her would be a definite action
But Cassie is a great source of morality to the group - most of them are pretty jaded, but Cassie is able to hope in a way none of the rest are. It creates a really compelling dynamic between jake and Cassie that I kinda dismissed when I was like 10 or w/e
Also the scene where jake as a fly gets crushed and starts dying? Seriously fucked. And then after when he’s nearly breaking down in the airport and Cassie comforts him...that was a really good scene. Cassie is so good  
And the continuity is so excellent - I love how in book 17, Cassie (and jake to an extent) doesn’t really weigh in on the moral debate abt the oatmeal bc she’s still shaken up by asking jake to murder a guy for her, and then (presumably) going ahead and lighting his house on fire when jake doesn’t kill him
And augh jake and Marco have such a good and interesting dynamic - the entire group kinda pushes each other into their respective ‘roles’ in the group, but for a few books that’s really true for jake and marco
I don't remember what book it was but at some point marco (I think) mentions that jake understands what marco is dealing with w/his mom being a controller bc of tom, but that they don’t talk about it bc they ‘don't talk about stuff like that’ or something and I'm just like noooo talk to each other :( 
but at this point jake feels like he can’t really express doubt and fear and stuff like that bc he’s the Leader and they look to him to be strong (which is ironically very similar to how rachel feels), and marco feels like he can’t be serious bc he’s the funny guy. 
Basically I love all the different dynamics in the group. How Cassie and Rachel are such opposites but are best friends and get along well, while Marco and Cassie are more directly opposed - as jake says, Marco is ruthless, and Cassie definitely isn’t. Rachel and Marco are also pretty different which is interesting, bc they have a lot in common, and actually agree on a lot (even if they disagree out loud) but their commonalities combined with their circumstances make them react very differently to the same situations
I also love seeing the differences between characters from each other’s POV - like, p much all the characters think that Rachel is completely fearless, but when the book is from her POV, we get to see that that isn’t true at all - she feels plenty of fear, but she recognizes that her role in the group is to be the fearless one, so she pushes aside her fear to fit into that role (which inadvertently pushes her more and more into that ‘fearless warrior’ box - something that happens to all the characters more and more as the story goes on, like jake as ‘the leader’ and Marco as ‘the jokester’).
Also I loooove the grey morality of literally everything. Like the book where ax discovers an andalite traitor - not a controller, just an andalite who betrayed them to the yeerks. This leads to the deaths of like a hundred other andalites, and that whole scene you really just feel for ax, bc he feels so awful about everyone else dying while he escapes, yet he’s also so grateful to be alive, which he in turn feels bad about...
And ax’s conflict about being torn between his home w/his fellow andalites and his new home on earth w/his friends is great
And oh man I fucking love book 19. Any of the books where it goes more into the yeerks and their side of things are so good, just like the book where jake was made into a controller.
And book 19, where we meet a sympathetic yeerk, comes right after 18, where we meet an andalite traitor - again, I love how we clearly see that no one side is completely good or completely bad
So yeah book 19 fucking slapped. That shit was so compelling. I love how Cassie made a bunch of foolish decisions based on naïve hope, but it worked out!! Things aren’t always bleak and awful!
Except there were plenty bleak and awful parts of this book. It had a great balance of moods tbh, even though a lot of the situations were extremely contrived lmao. I love the stuff that aftran says, which is basically what I was thinking when I started my reread - being a yeerk fucking sucks, you’re literally a blind slug but also completely and fully sentient, on the same level as humans and andalites - and as afran pointed out this book, the yeerks are born as parasites, just as humans are born as predators - why is it okay for the humans to kill countless animals to eat, but not for the yeerks to enslave races to act as hosts? Well, the situation isn’t totally comparable, which Cassie and Marco both point out when aftran makes that comparison - the yeerks are enslaving sentient species, and cows and chickens are not the same as the humans and hork-bajir (though the story understandably doesn’t fall too deeply into the ‘who deserves what right/animal sentience’ rabbit hole).
And I like that aftran points out that the yeerks basically have 2 options currently - stay helpless and blind in a yeerk pool, or enslave a host. It’s interesting to hear that a lot of yeerks don’t like doing this but see it as the only options, as opposed to complete sensory deprivation. It makes me wonder if there are yeerks who are so staunchly against it that they elect to stay as pool-bound slugs forever
Also maybe it’s the shounen anime fan in me but I don’t even care that much that Cassie’s entire plan was completely off the rails and hinged on only the slightest chance of success - with failure being much more likely and completely catastrophic, with the animorphs and their loved ones all being wiped out, vs success being unlikely and also achieving...a moral victory? Peace between two enemy combatants in a huge war? nothing all that concrete...anyways it was a bunch of good-faith horrible decisions on Cassie’s part, but I don’t even care? I love stories where hope and love save the day against all odds, especially when they’re wielded like weapons by a character and make everything end nicely
This is especially true here bc animorphs is generally a series that leans very far away from that type of thing, so when it does happen, it feels like a victory. Plus the David trilogy is next so we kinda need a happy ending while we can
also bc I compared animorphs to hxh last time, I now have to compare it to the other series I've (partially) liveblogged, transformers mtmte.
this is gonna be more abstract and brief but basically. mtmte is all about after the war, and everyone has so much trauma and everything just sucks, so they all go on a space cruise and work on themselves. basically.
but the series does a lot of exploration of how war fucks people up - same as animorphs, tho animorphs spans the beginning of the war (for the main characters at least) until the end, whereas mtmte starts when the war ends.
but the point is. both series do an excellent job showcasing the wide range of reactions people have to being put in unthinkable situations during wartime. all the major characters in mtmte go through arcs where they heal/change from the war, some more subtle than others
basically the animorphs needs to go on a wacky space cruise adventure with a bunch of other fucked up people and figure their shit out, mtmte style
ok this is wicked long already so I’m gonna end it here. also I feel like I should start the next liveblog w/the david triology bc I’m for sure gonna have a lot to say abt that
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yyxgin · 3 years ago
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My laptop is alive!!! Luckily enough oml, near heart attack. The worst part is that it started glitching as soon as my teacher started taking attendance lmfaoo
I would also totally recommend watching Hannah and wizards fully bc oh god they were so good. The little Latino representation I had was from that show #pain
YES DUDE IVE WANTED TO FIGHT HIM FOR SO LONGGG, sadly leaving a zoom room doesn’t have the same dramatic effect as storming out of a classroom, but oh well 🤷‍♀️
And he gives me such pick me boy energy, and he’s married and has a child apparently...like dude you already got picked gtfo. I’ll probably sleep pretty good tho, the whole day made me tired SO now I’m having a great sleep :D (neck still pain tho 😫👊)
Do spill the tea on your head teacher tho 👀
Ff, once I was talking shit abt this teacher bc he hurt my feelings and I’m a petty bitch. I was just saying how shitty he was to my friends, and suddenly one of them starts giggling nervously and RUNS OFF. So now I’m standing there like “wtf” and I turned around. He. Was. There. Standing behind me.
Yeah...my college sucks, I’m gonna try to bargain something ig?? Like explain my reasons bc it truly goes beyond just not wanting to study ig.
I LOVE THE ADVANCED QUIZ ITS GREAT. I really like the mix between Hufflepuff and Slytherin, kinda like opposites attract which is pretty neat ngl!!
ALSO, PEGGY AND STEVE ARE FROM MARVEL!!! My otp tbh and oh god that edit made me cry so hard holy fuck, it was really good. Big spoilers for some marvel movies tho (Hayley Atwell is also my favourite person)
AND FINALLY: KINGDOM!!! MY FRIEND CANT STOP FANGIRLING ABOUT IT AND FELIX AS DEADPOOL APPARENTLY??? IM FREAKING PUMPED AND I DONT EVEN WATCH KINGDOM
AAAA im glad your laptop is alive !! 🥰🥰 and its good you'll at least sleep well when you had to listen to your teacher's bullshit the whole day😩
my teacher just...,,,likes to talk about his money a lot. and show off. and open the door to his office shirtless. yea
PLEAAASE THIS HAPPENED TO ME TOO BUT I WAS SHITTING ON MY ENGLISH TEACHER AND HIS WIFE WAS STANDING BEHIND ME (they are both teachers at my school for some reason djsks)
I didnt expect that combo when i took that quiz tbh ?? bc as you said, they are polar opposites, but i guess everyone has a few more sides to their personality hihi
PLS DONT KILL ME IVE NEVER SEEN ANY MARVEL MOVIES AAAAH
AND ALSO DONT KILL ME NUMBER TWO I DO NOT WATCH KINGDOM DJSJ I JUST WATCH THE PERFORMANCES SOMETIMES BUT IVE BEEN REALLY SLACKING W SKZ CONTENT LATELY AND ITS HURTING ME TO ADMIT THAT😭😭 GOTTA WATCH IT TONIGHT
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borealopelta · 4 years ago
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It is time for the final episodes! Commentary by yours truly
Ep 8 starting off as wonderful as the last 20 times I watched it, Mr Crozier’s little “that’s not how I see you 😳” when Mr Gender insults himself, and them stopping to have a few words while looking at each other… alack! The emotions!! They’re so gentle with each other in the way they talk and LOOK at each other and them calling each other brokfhsd…brothrjhvc…I still can’t say it…they look like they’re about to k*ss and then... cut to them running towards the camp like two little cartoon figures doing a stupid little cartoon dance
Back in the camp tragedy awaits (of course, what else could happen) and we’re back with our regularly scheduled programme of hating Native people and casual gore
And how could I forget Mr Hickey (I hate his face <3) back on his bullshit, interrupted by the man himself (with that I mean Mr Jopson the ultimate madlad) being sent out to the great emptiness to be confronted with his lies
Good Lord, Mr Bridgens and Mr Peglar standing in the tent, l-o-o-k-i-n-g [at bruises and being ever so gentle even in times of extreme hardship while Mr Collins eyes some bottles very conspiratorially, I wonder what’ll happen (except I don’t)] I did Not pick up on these two the first time around and it makes the things to come so much worse
Oh this show and it’s cruelly casual depiction of death and dying and illness and injuries and overall suffering (I have a whole lot of thoughts about that that I won’t put here but dear Jesus) It happens so often and is such an integral part of their everyday life that it seems so normal to have several dead people lying around, to have people fighting for their lives (looking at you Mr Gender and your St Sebastian looking face) eugh it pains me
Mr Goodsir saying his last words to Lady Silence pain me once more, he seems so desperate for her to stay and you can see the exact moment his oh so fragile heart breaks once more as she walks off into the fog…
Then we have the absolutely fantastic speeches by Mr Crozier and Mr Hickey, I’m vibrating from excitement at how petty these two are with each other
Aand they’re getting interrupted by the Collins one-man-rave. Oh and a giant spirit monster
More Gender scenes from the man himself (the gender is arson) His eyes are like black holes full of trauma…
Collins getting mauled to death and his soul sucked out, what a wonderful way to end an episode right? This got very long and I apologise for that but there are thoughts being thunk so watch out for more
Dearest boaty mcboatface i FORGOT to reply to these but I'm procrastinating on studying for my exam (its on friday!!! wtf is wrong with me!!!) so it's time for Them!
The Big Fitzier Scene is just. Yeah exactly what you said the next logical step was to make out. What's better than dying of scurvy but still snatching a smooch from your captain slash role model slash Beloved™???
I have to ask HOW you missed the bridglar tho like....they are So Tender you look at them and go 👀 a-HA you two are homosexuals!! I see! But dgbdhdndkd yeah everything hurts about them as well <3
What's an absolute kick in the chest with Silna's departure is that,,,, I can't say it without crying ANYWAY Goodsir apologizes to her. That scene fucking unzips me like he apologizes. GOD.
The whole Hickey thing is such a mess and i love it so much...the fog makes the whole mood muted somehow and everything feels urgent and dangerous like the moment before the storm where you're just waiting for that first crash of thunder. des voeux and [idk who the other guy is] convincing tozer to open the armory, little being pressured into greenlighting it, tommy armitage looking cute af (it's not important to the plot but it's important to ME), and then Irving's autopsy, Hodgson (boyfriend) confirming Hickey's lie, the whole got damn thing is just So Fucking Much. And hhhhhh the basis of me making james and dezza friends in every single au aka fitzjender suggesting des voeux to be put in charge of the armoury....he trusts him!!! and that makes me so sad ok.
anyway the hanging scene my beloved. mr jared harris deserves a thousand kisses for that speech his VOICE CRACKS man his voice cracks,,,,i can hear the "thAT was MR HickEY" in my head. also i love watching Tozer's face in that scene as he finds out about this stuff and you can see the horror on his face that hickey lied to him and murdered farr and Irving and alienated the Netsilik. and he was stupid enough to go along with it and now he'll die for it. as we all know i'm the #1 Tozer stannie round here so of course I'll yell abt him anyway. Hickey's speech too....hate the man amazed by his Skills of Manipulation. He talks in this super weird way when he's gaslight gatekeep girlbossing and you can't not listen to it,,,
Collins one-man-rave made me crack up but it really is that,,,the ensuing carnage is one of the worst/best scenes for being so graphic and just dealing with a bunch of side characters efficiently. Love diggle being just wrestled into a harness and made to haul with the mutineers, little and tozer's Talk™ (probably the basis of that ship gdhdhfjd), tommy hartnell the absolute lad being the Best Boy in the show and of course the jender and his rockets!!! he really went all out there <3
Collins' death and Tozer witnessing it is so....once again a thousand kisses to Walmart for using Microexpressions and Body Language because his little twitches and whatever the fuck his face does lives in my head rent free.
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hqwritings · 4 years ago
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Kuroo, Bokuto, and Tsukkishima Hearing Their Roomate Dump Their Boyfriend
@venuslii requested: Kuroo, Bokuto and Tsukishima walking in on their roommate laughing on their phone and it turns out she broke up with her boyfriend and he posted about him being heartbroken and she says “that’s what you get you stupid b****” lmao headcanons or scenarios idrc
A/N: Eyy, thanks for requesting! I got a little stumped on some parts (*cough*Tsukki*cough*) but I hope you enjoy these! Requests are currently opened, no rules yet other than a maximum of only three characters please!
Kuroo Tetsurou:
-We all know this man loves his juicy gossip (re:when he immediately knew about Mikashou’s breakup) so when he heard you cackling in your room he knew he had to get you to spill the tea. It’s part of why you two get along so well and can stand living with each other: you two are nosey bitches that thrive off of spilling annoying/funny stories about the people in your life. He also gives killer advice that seems to always work for you, so that’s a bonus too.
-Since you two don’t really care about privacy near each other you left your door open and he takes the opportunity to dramatically poke his head in and pose at the doorway like the sexy bastard he is. “What’s so funny Y/N it’s not often that you keep secrets from me~”
-Needless to say he was a little baffled to see you cackling to the straight up breakdown your boyfriend was having over the phone. Kuroo feels an evil little grin coming onto his face. He never liked your boyfriend anyway. He was a bitch that was too easily angered and didn’t know how to keep his cool. Then again he never liked Kuroo either, always thinking he was gonna steal his girl (which Kuroo never bothered correcting him on because it was so fucking funny to him)
-He’s grinning at you and asks “Oh? What’d the bitch do now?” He’s leering over your shoulder as you show him your ex’s Snapchat, filled with sad Bart Simpson memes and edits with slowed rap music playing in the background. You even get him to read the terrible captions that say shit like “When the person who you thought was the one becomes a stranger again 😭😔” you’re laughing so hard at it you can’t even say anything
-Kuroo busts out the LOUDEST and most OBNOXIOUS hyena laugh ever and he’s grabbing your phone and going through all the other posts he’s missed so far and you’re just on your bed rolling in your sheets DYING and clutching your stomach because it’s hurting so bad
-“So you finally dumped him eh?? Good for you Y/N!” He shouts between laughs and then directs his attention to your crying ex, mocking him by saying “I have some sad Plankton memes if you need them! Unblock me first and I’ll send them to you! HAHAHA-“
Your ex hates him so fucking much and keeps trying to say something back but he keeps stumbling over his words and it just makes the two of you laugh even harder
-When you manage to get your laughter under control you lightly kick Kuroo (who’s now sitting on your bed) as a signal for him to give back your phone. When he hands it back to you, you go back to the call with your ex and shout “SEE THAT?! WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?! THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU STUPID BITCH!” With that final blow to his ego you’re satisfied, and hang up on him
-When Kuroo hears that click signaling the end of the call, he raises his hand for a high five and you give it to him. He’s sitting straight up now and immediately tackled you in a hug. You two kind of just lay there, and even though it’s mildly uncomfortable, he knows you need it. It’s warm, soft, and safe, showing you that he was always gonna be there for you no matter what
-“Good job Y/N, that guy was a major dickwad. He wasn’t nearly as hot as me anyway. Probably had a tiny dick too” “Trust me, he did” “Holy shit-“
-He rolls off of you from the hug but is still laying down next to you on your bed while holding your hand. You vent to him about how good and free you finally feel now that your ex is officially out of your life. During your conversation you two make a note to burn all the clothes your ex left in your room at your next house party/bonfire.
Bokuto Kotarou:
-He’s either A)chilling on the couch B)chilling on the couch talking to Akashi/Kuroo/Tsukki or C)chilling on the couch and playing video games. You two don’t have any particular system set up, because you two don’t care. What matters is that you’re bro’s and you both do your part to make (barely) make rent every month.
-You and Bokuto share plenty of funny stories to each other but he’s used to you just sitting in your room doing your own thing talking to whoever, but when he hears you literally CACKLING like a freaking maniac, he can’t stop himself from pausing whatever he’s doing and going to your room to make sure you’re still alive
-He gives a light knock on your door before realizing it’s unlocked and just coming in and he’s really surprised to see you doubled over on your floor laughing like there’s no tomorrow as he can hear your boyfriend on speaker phone, making the ugliest sobbing noises he’s ever heard
-“Whatcha doing Y/N? I can hear ya all the way from the living room, what’s up with you?” He asks, both curious and slightly concerned for you. You quickly get up, ignoring your (now ex-) boyfriend and pulling up his public Snapchat story that also has sad Bart Simpson memes and long ass sad emo paragraphs about how heart broken he is (it’s a little impressive how quickly he wrote it up though, given how you broke up w him like five minutes ago)
-“Bo, look at this shit- haHA I just dumped him!” Bokuto knows how much of a piece of shit your ex is, since you’ve spent so many nights crying to him about your fights and the hurtful things he’d say to you so he eagerly eats up the absolute bulls hit on his story and laugh with you while listening to his sobbing
-Your ex is fuming whilst crying over the phone “REALLY Y/N?! YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR ROOMMATE IN ON THIS?! I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME WITH HIM YOU SLU-“ but you were having none of it so you immediately shoot back “OH SHUT THE FUCK UP THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU STUPID BITCH” Bokuto is absolutely DYING by now, hyping you up as you shut your ex down
-He’s so happy to see that you know your worth now and aren’t going to let some dumbass boy make you think otherwise. So many times he’s wanted to just clock him in the jaw (he radiated really douchey vibes) but now he doesn’t have to (unless you want him to of course)
-Your ex angrily hangs up and you two are having a fit on the floor, Bokuto laying over your body as you read out the songs on the emo playlist he just posted. You even move to twitter to see him tweeting sad Pinterest quotes
-When the laughter dies down and he’s still laying over you and you’re just on the floor he turns over to look at you. “You know, I’m happy you broke up with that douche-face. He was ugly anyway, and a shit volleyball player. You deserve better” He lovingly pats your head “I’m proud of you Y/N, really” You almost want to cry at how sweet he’s being but you just smile and get up, walking to the doorway and turning to look at him
-“Thanks Bo, I appreciate that. All that laughing makes me tired though. Wanna order takeout and watch a movie? I’ll let you pick” He happily gets up from your floor and gives you a big high five and you two walk out of the room to go order your food. Your ex, completely pushed out of your mind.
Tsukkishima Kei:
-Doesn’t usually care about gossip (except for that one King of the Court thing w Kageyama) so your conversations don’t really go into “tea” abt people. You two are pretty close at this point and you both are hella nerds so your conversations will probably be about stuff like your sports/activities and maybe the occasional debate over which Jurassic Park Movie was the best (He will always go with the first one, he has a whole PowerPoint and everything). Otherwise you two don’t talk too too much, keeping to yourselves and being relatively peaceful.
-When he hears your loud laughter and straight howling, he’s… slightly annoyed. What could possibly so funny that you had to scream loud enough for him to be able to hear when he’s wearing headphones for fuck’s sakes. He begrudgingly takes off his headphones and makes his way to your room with the intention of telling you to stfu
-He doesn’t even bother knocking because he’s petty so when he sees you rolling over the floor AND hears your boyfriend’s loud hiccups and sobs turned on the highest volume on speaker phone he goes from annoyed to confused and annoyed.
-“Y/N you’re being so loud and it’s annoyi- what the hell are you doing” He’s not even trying to hide his mild disappointment in you and even makes a comment about your ex sobbing over the line “Why’s your annoying boyfriend crying too- he doesn’t sound like he’s laughing”
-You take a break from laughing to shout back at Tsukki “Make that Ex-Boyfriend Tsukkishima!! HAHA- come here, look at this- look-“ you’re getting up from your floor and grabbing him by the sleeve to sit him on your bed as you eagerly go through your ex’s Snapchat filled to the brim with emo poetry and paragraphs about heartbreak
-“I broke up with him 10 minutes ago and he’s still crying-“ Tsukki can’t help but laugh at this as he’s reading the absolute bullshit that your ex typed out. He can always tell when he’s going to be annoyed by someone and the moment your boyfriend stepped into your place, he knew that he would never get along with him. He avoided him like the plague and always denied the invite when you would go out together but would occasionally hear your fights through the walls or your crying when he came home late (in those moments he’s actually really nice and will sit and listen to you)
-“Wow… this is absolutely pathetic, how old are you, 12? This is bullshit!” Tsukki has no chill, verbally beating down your ex and only making him cry harder and now your stomach hurts as you clutch it with your free hand. At one point your ex decides he’s had enough and from the other end of the line he shouts “SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING- YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT WHO CAN'T MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS-“ and Tsukki’s not having ANY of this so immediately goes “And you’re a sad loser who just got dumped by his girlfriend over the phone! What does that say about you?”
-You’re grinning ear to ear during this whole exchange and after Tsukki says that you bring the phone to your mouth (hoping to scream as loud as possible into your ex’s ears) and say “THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU STUPID BITCH-“ and hang up.
-It doesn’t stop there though- no no no- you two crack yourselves up even further by doing dramatic readings of all the messages (with stupid impressions of your ex to boot): “Oh baby if only I could hold you in my arms one last time!” “Heart been broke so many times-“ “Nobody cares about me, even the person who I thought I could trust the most-“ “Holy shit Tsukki you sound just like him-“
-When you can’t view his story/tweets anymore because he’s blocked you, you and Tsukki finish laughing. His long legs are draped over your bed and yours are placed on his lap. At this point he doesn’t even care because it’s been a good while since he ever found something THAT funny. He isn’t really the type for softly comforting his friends but you know that he definitely has a little soft spot for you (at least a tiny one) and you just sit there and gently kick him.
-“What” he asks and you just give him a soft smile and say “Thanks”. He has his own small smile on his face (that you can totally see but don’t mention because then it’ll go away) and just looks away from you and says “You’re annoying” (which by now you know translates to “You’re welcome”)
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nux-morbid-art · 7 years ago
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OC meme: Fester Cunningham
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I was tagged by @probably-a-synth so I decided to do a second one since I have so many OCs. Fester is pretty new and needed some fleshing out anyway.  I tag @whatshappeningcowboy @eisenhexa bc i know yall got more than one oc to talk abt, as well as anyone who wants to do this, Please @ me!
GENERAL
Name: Fester Cunningham
Alias(es): Chester (given name), Glowstick, Nightlight, et al
Gender: Cis male
Age: Unknown, hes probably upwards of 80 but his body stopped aging in his mid 20′s, lucky bastard
Place of birth: Diamond City, Commonwealth. turned ghoul after a scrap run turned horribly wrong, and left to die by his friends. 
Spoken languages:  English, with a moderate southern drawl
Sexual orientation: GAY
Occupation: Raider, escort, entertainer, arm candy
APPEARANCE
Race: Glowing Ghoul, though I like to think ghoulification happens in slow stages and he’s only recently started glowing. Originally white. 
Eye colour: Originally pale watery blue, now bright green irises with black, glossy “whites” 
Hair colour:  Dirty blonde bleached platinum, occaisionally decorated w henna and other dyes
Height: 5′8 ish
Scars: none besides obvious ghoulification. his body heals even serious injuries in a few hours, leaving little evidence of damage. 
Burns: ^
Overweight: / Underweight: decently muscular, with extra on his hips, thighs and ass
FAVOURITE
Colour: rather fond of green lately 
Hair colour: Black, like’s em Tall Dark n Handsome (tm)
Eye colour: Sucker for pale or brightly colored eyes, blue, grey, green, etc
Music genre: in canon he likes classic rock n roll, modern au he’d be a really trashy metalhead. anything hard and loud
Movie genre: Has never seen a movie in his life, but he’d love horror and be one of those assholes that talks in theaters and laughs when people die horribly on screen
TV show: he’d like horror and crime dramas like csi, supernatural, punisher and daredevil
Food: loves junk food and processed pre-war crap
 Drink: Nuka quantum, quartz, and any of the others that glow
Book: he can read just enough to get by and occaisionally picks up a comic book. likes Grognak well enough. 
HAVE THEY
Passed university: Diamond city has a school ish? he got through that. 
Had sex: Lots. cant remember all his partners, lots of one night stands and back alley blow jobs. 
Had sex in public: Lots. Bit of an exhibitionist. 
Gotten pregnant (themself or a partner): Nope. 
Kissed a man: LOTS
Kissed a woman: Obligatory “I thought I might be straight” childhood and teenage crushes, always been a player
Kissed a nonbinary person: He’s been w so many people its bound to have happened, tho he doesn’t really discuss the finer points of gender identity beyond “what name do i scream when I cum” and “what do i call your junk when i’m talking dirty”
Gotten tattoos: Extensive blackwork covering most of his body except his hands, feet, and sensitive areas like his genitals and inner thighs.
Gotten piercings: A series of rings around each ear and a single lobe piercing in each, usually has mismatched jewlery, and at least one safety pin keeping piercings open (don’t do this at home kids)
Had a broken heart: no, hes never had a serious relationship either 
Been in love:  no 
Stayed up for more than 24 hours: frequently but prefers regular sleep 
ARE THEY
A virgin: No, and probably lost theirs at an uncomfortably early age
A cuddler: about average, enjoys touch and being close to someone
A kisser: yes, and very rough and sharp with it
Scared easily: an absolute coward, jumps at everything and hides during big fights
Jealous easily: very, for someone who never commits to a monogamous relationship. but if someone he likes is giving attention to someone else, he turns into an obnoxious, attention hungry cry baby. 
Trustworthy: Not in the slightest. sells out anyone the moment a better option becomes available
Dominant: / Submissive: Power Bottom
In love: Never
Single: Always
RANDOM QUESTIONS
Have they harmed themselves: no
Thought of suicide: no
Attempted suicide: no
Wanted to kill someone: has dozens of murders under him, all of them sneaky, backhanded, and petty. knows he cant win in a fair fight. He’s killed people for insulting him, rejecting him, for their possessions, and sometimes just to see if he could. 
Ridden a horse: what the fuck is a horse
Have/had a job: he did odd jobs as a kid, fetch and courier stuff. never done an honest day’s work as an adult. 
Have any fears: Turning feral, and that someday all the horrible things he’s done are going to catch up with him. 
FAMILY
Sibling(s): Middle child, probably had a brother and sister somewhere. doesn’t know or care if theyre alive
Parents: Diamond city scrappers, status unknown, probably deceased
Children: None that he knows of
Pets: Not  a huge fan of pets, with tolerate cats more than dogs. 
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identitycris1s · 4 years ago
Text
im back
hi just thought id pop in with a status update! maybe i’ll break this down into categories. feel like im doing an email update (ew!) but this rly is probs the best way to structure this post...
work / school (?)
work has been....aite. idk what to say. idk if i have unrealistic expectations of what work is supposed to be, but the idealist in me thinks its wrong to not even try and find something that seems meaningful / is deeply fulfilling. i think im mature enough to get that work isnt supposed to be fun / exciting every single day but bro this daily grind / sense of dread / utter disinterest / feeling of futility / frustration / disenchantment surely isnt the correct state of affairs.....at least let me try and find something that is a better fit, thats more stimulating, that feels more NATURAL to me? i just dont think im cut out to be a lawyer. sure i sometimes like arguing and making my point and i like that everyone i work with is smart and interesting and generally kind and reasonable and i like the prestige of the job and feeling like ppl respect me and i like the decent pay and the humane hours but.....i feel unmotivated to be a good lawyer. i think i find it difficult / disingenuous to always 100% get behind my client and advocate for their best interests. i tend to see things from a zoomed out perspective, like WHY are we fighting, WHY cant we just settle, WHY are the claimants pursuing this absolutely crap and unmeritorious claim and WHY do we have to defend it when its stupid and bound to fail (cos access2justice i guess but still, WHY), WHY cant we just hash things out in a meeting instead of sending emails here and there and wasting time, WHY do we have to answer stupid questions, WHY WHY WHY
and i think public policy is sort of an answer to that....i think theres more questioning of why we do things and why a policy will or will not work, in a macro sense - what is good for society at large. whereas in law (at least in litigation) its how can we just move this case forward and help the client, which is often not the most productive thing to do in a macro sense - very much a zero sum game. i get that shitty / unmeritorious claims still need to be defended against and someone has to do it and I GET IT but i just dont think i want to be that person defending these claims...or bringing them for that matter.....ultimately i cant fully / sincerely separate the overarching sense of futility from the duty to do a good job.
sigh. well at least ive kind of figured out this isnt for me. which is scary cos being a lawyer in this firm is pretty much a career for life - truly an iron rice bowl, i could probably make partner in maybe 4 or 5 years and live a comfortable upper middle class life...but i cant bring myself to do that. i cant bring myself to not give myself a shot at doing something i actually find interesting, stimulating and that i care about deeply. call me crazy! we’ll see where this brings me in 5 years’ time....:) 
anyway most ppl at work (at least in my team) know that im most likely gonna leave soon. i rly only told 2 ppl (my boss cos he had to sign off on my testimonial and G cos she was quitting anyway)...but somehow ppl found out one way or another. i dont rly mind and ppl have been taking it pretty well and have been kind and encouraging (i guess why would they not take it well, im hardly indispensable) but i get a bit antsy thinking - what if i dont get in...then what? do i just put my head down and continue here (BUT IM SO SAD) or do i just quit without any prospects and try to find a policy-ish job??
idk. will have faith that God will put me where I need to be. he is in control of it all and I BELIEVE THIS !!! I am just a bit scared that his plan is different from what i  think i want....but this is just my human instinct and i know in my head that there is no reason to be scared cos his plan is always the better one. head knowledge just needs to translate to heart understanding and real trust / faith.
ermmm relationships...???
i started using...cmb...idk why i find this so cringey. i guess about a year ago i couldnt imagine doing this and i kept thinking EW what if ppl i know see me and they think im a desperate saddo who cant find a bf irl and has to resort to an app EW shes so lame and ugly and gross. and i realised that is so stupid no one actually thinks that way and its very backward and dumb and insecure of me to be thinking that. and anyway as i get older i rly dont quite give a shit what ppl think of me (at least i tell myself that....)
i suppose i was also inspired by csm who has been quite actively using apps and meeting ppl and taking real..strides..(LOL) in her dating life. i used to tell myself hey God will provide u with a mans if he wants u to be with a mans. but also God can use an app to do that...and if i dont step out in faith that he will do something and i dont take any action at all, how is God gonna work?? should i sit at home and expect a man to fall into my lap??
for some ppl it has been way easier, e.g. my parents meeting in uni and falling i love. i always wanted that - the organic relationship, the meet-cute, the friends to lovers thing. (i guess i tried that last one before and it didnt work...) but i think theres no point in romanticising relationships anymore. thats a very modern thing to do and its not necessarily a good thing? like who’s to say a relationship that had organic beginnings is intrinsically better than one that started from an app?
anyway i havent had much luck haha i think its hard to find genuine GCBs (or maybe theyre just not attracted to me....) although recently ive been talking to this one guy B for a week or two and its been...ok i guess. hes rly nice and seemed cool at first - we talked about travelling and hamilton and the office, which was a good start. he is thoughtful and kind and doesnt seem to be put off by my very slow replies (he replies so fast......its stressful a bit) and he does the whole good morning text thing (which i frankly find a bit bizarre, we barely know each other..?? and ive never even met him irl.. but its sweet i guess :))
but DUDE his english seems to be not great - at least thats the impression i get from texting him. which is an issue for me. i dont want it to be BUT IT IS...first red flag was when he said some weird thing about not wanting to wear a mask at work (not a literal mask - like he didnt know if he could be his ‘true self’) and the wording was very strange. then he said “the weekends are almost here” ?? the weekend is not a plural though? then he used the wrong tense a few times and his apostrophe usage was wrong (”Gods’ love” - bro there is one God). he also uses way too many commas which irks me.
i mean i get that text is supposed to be an informal medium - come on look at this post, there r hardly any capital letters and plenty of short forms and hardly any apostrophes but u see its CONSISTENT and its obviously cos of laziness / convenience - but i think his problem is a bit different...u can sort of tell if someone doesnt have a 100% strong grasp of english. those r basic grammar mistakes man...i get that i sound petty and stupid and this isnt a huge deal but i feel like im settling by even talking to him cos this is not something i wld normally tolerate but hey maybe im getting desperate with age :(:(:( urgh 
on the other hand maybe i just need to be more generous with ppl and l have an irrationally high standard for english cos i am a lawyer and my friends all speak well / text well?? maybe im just being too nitpicky?? honestly hes very nice  and communicative and straightforward and seems mature and very God-fearing and idk why hes still talking to me cos ive been a bit cold and slow to respond. hes very patient which i dont rly deserve.....i myself have a million flaws that are probably way worse and egregious (ahem PRIDE...ahem ego....ie the source of this dilemma in the first place...) so maybe i should just close one eye abt the bad grammar.
i also realised how fked up i am - confirmed my suspicion that i am naturally attracted to emotionally unavailable ppl / ppl that just seem distant / out of reach (thats my avoidant attachment style right there). i think there was one day he didnt text me at all and omg...i couldnt stop thinking what i did wrong...like did i piss him off by being too cold for too long...did he get scared off cos i said i wanted to do a masters (idk this seemed like an irrational leap but i was being irrational)..then i started being nicer to him and replied more promptly hahaha turns out he was just rly bz at work that day. omg this pattern is real i think i did this with xj also - was eager to speak when he was in japan but after meeting irll i was just over it... (i am drawn to distance like a moth to a flame and i am repelled by availability like....a fire by a fire extinguisher (??)). yucks i rly hate myself sometimes but yknow what at least im self aware and im trying to fix this...kind of.. gonna hash this avoidant thing out with my therapist at the next sesh.
on the topic of xj i got a bit nostalgic and wondered why we stopped speaking (surprise surprise it was my fault, didnt reply then felt it had been left to long to pick it up again...) went back to look at our texts and aw we rly got along so well, i do miss him as a friend and im sorry about how poorly i treated him especially in dec 2018 / jan 2019 sigh.....i was a real bitch....
anyway im just gonna see how things go with B... if he asks me out i prob will go... just to give it a shot. update if / when that happens!
EDIT - he asked me out lol we shall see how it goes. 
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