#but he doesnt realize just how huge he is n when he drapes himself over u…. game over

[b1mbodoll]

bear hybrid! park jisung hmmm

[worminstuff]

Seethe pt.2

c!techno x reader

tw!!!! manipulation!

warnings: fluffy angsty, degrading (not in a sexual way)

word count: 1.4k

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Apricity, the word to describe the warmth of the sun in the winter. The new home y/n and Techno shared was much colder than their past homes. Techno didn't mind, not that he'd let her know if he did. y/n on the other hand, wasn't exactly fond of it. She found herself often stealing his big heavy capes so she could sit by the fire just when the sun was perfectly casting a warm glow into their little home.

y/n was on house arrest. She wasn't even allowed outside. Worst of all, Techno had been gone on a trip for two days now, he was supposed to be back soon but that doesnt mean y/n was any less irritated.

y/n glowered at the little bits of dust floating through the sunlight in front of her, a huge red velvet cape draped across her shoulders, and another one under her as she sat criss cross.

She was angry, so he would be washing that one himself.

Before she could dive deeper into the angry thoughts, the sound of clunky boots on the steps outside the door caught her attention.

The front door flew open with no heist, y/n held in a flinch.

Techno locked eyes with the small gremlin on the floor in front of him. First, he noticed that every single set of curtains had been opened, then he noticed how she was sitting a bit too close to the fire, then he finally noticed,

“Are those my-”

y/n cut him off, “no.” she pulled the soft fabric around her more.

Techno sighed. He closed the door then pulled his own jacket and cape from his shoulders to hang.

Once he'd also removed his boots and his gloves, and the rest of his fancy stuff, he was only in his brown pants and white button up. As he made his way towards the fireplace, he shook his hair out of the hair tie that had been holding it for the past day.

Techno lifted the cape from y/ns shoulders and sunk down to the floor next to her, he laid his legs out in front of him and pulled her to his side. After he decided she was in a good spot, he draped the cape over the both of them.

“You kind of smell like dirt and fire.” techno mumbled into her hair.

“Well you're old.” she huffed back.

Techno leaned away from her, his brows furrowed.

“Snappy are we?” He was testing the waters. He hated it when people sassed him or talked back. He was essentially a karen with the wrath of a demon. According to y/n anyways...

y/n did not respond, she only huffed into his chest. She was too angry to speak to him, she'd only get herself in trouble.

Techno was losing a bit of patience now, with his pointer finger and thumb he gently pinched her chin, tilting her face up to look at him.

“What's wrong with you?” his mouth barely moved, he wasn't being sincere or concerned, he was still mad.

y/n only stared at him. Her teeth were clenched almost painfully hard.

Techno leaned his face closer to hers. His eyes scanned her face before honing in on her lips. A normal person would think he was about to kiss her. These two were not normal people.

“I hope you realize now..” his voice was deathly low, an octave so low she wouldn't have heard him if it weren't for him speaking the words directly into her mouth, “you are..nothing without me.” his breath was hot and unnerving. “You can't even protect yourself.. Let alone Ranboo. You need me. You need me so much that you're lost even in your own home when i'm not here with you.”

Tears were willing their way into y/n's eyes already. Techno adored how she looked so broken. So weak. He loved when she was at his will.

“You are powerless. You are stupid. You are a baby bird with its wings cut off.” he held up his free hand, making his hand look like scissors with his middle and pointer fingers.

“You..” he placed a soft kiss to y/ns nose, “are..” he kissed her left cheek, “nothing.” then her right cheek.

He then brushed a tear from below her eye, holding back the grin that was attempting to punch its way through.

He smiled now. Hoping to comfort her, but her eyes only welled up more. He wanted to lull his head to the side and stare at her gorgeous eyes as they got more and more glassy as tears just overfilled her bottom lash line.

Techno hated when y/n was hurt, and if it had been anyone else that made her cry they would have one single breath before they themselves had the inability to cry. But when it was him?..he could only stare.

“You want to be strong don't you, y/n?” he asked her, his voice below a whisper.

“I am strong.” y/n's voice was hoarse against her steal words.

“Then why on earth are you crying? A bit pathetic don't you think?” he wiped another cluster of tears from her eyes as he looked to the fire behind her.

y/n hated to let him get to her this way. She doesn't often..but she couldn't help it right now. y/n pushed his hands away and slid her own around his waist, digging herself deeper into his scent and warmth.

Techno sighed and drew shapes in her back under the cape with his nails, the whispers whirling through his mind.

Nothing. Worthless. She's weak. She's weighing you down. She's nothing. Broken. Tears. Pretty tears. Look like glass. Break the bird.

He stopped listening for a moment as he looked down.

If Phil was here he would've never let Techno talk to her that way. He would have scolded him or told him off in some way. This thought angered Techno. He was fond of Phil but Phil has tried to take y/n under his wing. He acted almost as a father to her.

Techno really did like Phil, but y/n didn't need phil. She needed him. Only him. He wanted her to remember that. She had to remember that.

Even as much as it hurt him a tad to hurt her so much. It'll be worth it. He just had to keep reminding himself that.

“Are you hungry, bird?” he mumbled, his hand now softly running up and down her back.

y/n shuttered. She was hungry, but she didn't feel like eating.

“No..but thank you.” she mumbled back.

Techno hummed in response. Hed make her something soon anyways, but he'd sit with her just a bit longer.

He would never admit how much he loved to have y/n in his arms. Techno is large, Not so much in body mass as he is in height, but he's not lacking in body mass either. He was lanky but strong. It was perfect for him to be able to practically wrap himself around her entirely.

Technos mind was wondering as he stared at the fireplace.

The fire in front of him was causing beads of sweat on his forehead, he didn't understand how y/n loved sitting this closely.

It began about back when him and y/n were staying in the underground ravine of Pogtopia. y/n loved how warm it would get even though they were so below the surface, she would sit by the many fireplaces in Pogtopia often.

He thought back to all the effort they both put into Pogtopia, grinding away for the others. y/n was an incredibly hard worker, she was loyal, and kind, and she listened to directions very well. He admired these things greatly. y/n is insanely sweet though, which was something he's never understood. She was kind to everyone in every situation she could be, she was a magnet for friends. She was charismatic and held so much sympathy for others. She was his opposite.

He adored her kind spirit, he adored her so much he wanted her all to himself.

Once he grew older with her, his feelings that were similar to a possessive friend became so much more.

She was his little bird, and he'd break her wings just to keep her on the ground with him.

[mydekuacademia]

nsfw alphabet for tenya iida?

Sure!

C, D, K, and T found here

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Hes very by-the-book with aftercare. He'll get you a glass of water, wipe you down with a washcloth, make sure you're comfortable, but he's not the best with the more intimate aspect of aftercare. He definitely gets better with it over time

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner)

He loves your face and hands. Face because he adores your expressions, and hands because he loves loves LOVES holding them

on him, maybe this is overplayed, but he likes his legs. Not necessarily his calves, but overall. He knows theyre strong and hes proud of it

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

No experience whatsoever lol. He used to be such a straight edge student that he didnt even consider having sex until marriage, but after the Stain incident, he loosens up a lot. Its slow going, but he gradually accepts his desires and gains some experience with you

F: Favorite Position

Doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, 69, honestly p much anything. The straight edged ones are always the kinky ones

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

99.9% of the time, hes completely serious. The only time he wont be is if he had a very stressful day and wants to let loose with you. Even then, he isnt cracking jokes or anything

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Extremely well-trimmed and shaped. To Iida, it's just another part of good hygiene, so he really really prefers to keep himself well-groomed. Even if you prefer more hair, he probably wont budge

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

So intimate like holy shit. Hes constantly caressing your cheek and brushing your hair aside and peppering small kisses along your exposed skin. His first priority is to make you feel loved, so it's rarely just mindless fucking

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He only masturbates maybe once a month, and only to take care of the biological need. He doesnt have the highest sex drive, so its not a huge thing for him

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Bed, mostly. He has a reputation to uphold as the class rep, so he wont risk having sex in a place you could get caught. Absolutely no common room or empty classroom. The most adventurous place hed be willing to try is a locked closet, but even thats a big maybe

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you really embody what a hero should be, healthy communication, when you show passion for anything, and if you help him wrangle the class. That last one especially 😎

N: NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Watersports or scat, gunplay, knifeplay

Theres not too much hes 100% against tbh

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He prefers receiving over giving. At first, it was because he was insecure over his lack of knowledge of how to give oral, but when he learns how to do it, he realizes he generally just prefers receiving. That doesnt mean he wont eat you out/suck you off like his life depends on it tho

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Hes Sonic, hes gotta go fast. He is at least gentle about it tho

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Hes fine with them. He knows hero life is busy and there isnt always a chance to take your time, so hes totally chill with quickies

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)  

Totally down to experiment with kinks and fetishes. As stated before though, he wont be risky with locations or try any of his 100% nos

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He'll last as long as you can go. You last for 2 rounds? Okay. 5 rounds? Hes still good. Only 1? Thats fine.

U: Unfair (how much they like to tease)

My god, Iida can tease the hell out of you when hes in the mood. His favorite way of doing so is restraining your hands and making you watch as he strokes himself. If hes feeling nice, he might put a vibe on you while doing so

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He likes to whisper in your ear during sex. He doesnt moan or grunt a lot, but mans will talk to you p often

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

He lowkey wants to have an orgy with the dekusquad, but he'd absolutely never say so

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Hes b i g and thicque. Definitely over average and girthy enough that its a complete necessity to really prep you every time

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not really that high tbh. He enjoys sex, but he doesnt often actively seek it out. He'll have sex with you if hes bored or wants physical affection or if you want it

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he really went for it, he falls asleep pretty fast. Otherwise, he can stay awake for a long time

[kny-imagines]

okidoki, giyuu and tanjirou relationship hcs coming right up! thank you for the request :D!

tomioka giyuu

looks super mysterious and intimidating

really is just a dumb confused emo eddgy-edge man

LISTEN MY DUDE you better be very direct and straightforward with this man or else he just  w o n t  g e t  i t

he just sucks at social interactions, alright? his social skills are = 0. and please don’t ever try to hint something to him. he’s denser than osmium (which is like the densest material on earth so far i know). hence why i hope for the sake of your and his relationship that you’re a straightforward person (or at least can be when needed)

emotionally distances himself a lot, which is like,, a big problem. has a lot of self-worth issues too :((. being a demon slayer isn’t an easy task and takes a huge toll on your mental health and his past (ughh don’t wanna get into spoiler territory, so i’ll keep it vague)) really doesn’t make it any easier for him. it may take a while for him to fully open up to you, but once he does, you just know he’s in it forever. and he’s forever grateful for it too.

such a devoted lover!! he truly truly loves you, and although he may lack in the communicative area, he really makes it up with his actions. here, have some of his share of this food too bc you looked so happy n cute eating it!! oh, this cherry blossom hairpin? he got it on one of his missions out of town bc he remembered how sad you were that the cherry blossom season was over! he is basically the definition of “actions speak louder than words”

i can see him being super into subtle affections like accidental hand touching/arm touching, blowing on hot food before offering it, draping a jacket or a blanket over the other person when it gets cold, etc. it’s nothing special. but his most favorite person in the world makes it special.

i’m not here to idolize him, but to tell you how a relationship with him could be. and like every realistic relationship, it’s not gonna be perfect, but if you both actively work on it, it can still bloom into something wonderful.

tl;dr: he’s just a super dense and awkward bean that needs some time warming up to a relationship, but once he does it’s gonna last forever (if you’re in for it)

kamado tanjirou

i think by now we know what a kind-hearted and wholesome person my boyo tannedjirou is

ALSO PART OF THE “i’m too dense to get subtle hints”-SQUAD PLS SAVE THESE BOYS

he’s just such a sweet person and generally doesn’t assume that any person could have any other intentions of being nice other than being nice!

and you have one intention.. that is making it known that you like him romantically!!!2111!!!!!2!!!

it’s okay br0, zenitsu has your back (both emotionally and physically). he may not be of biggest help when it comes to confessing, but at least you can gush together about your respective crushes :”)

will mom u. and dad u. but more mom u than dad u. doesn’t matter if you’re already in a relationship or still painful crush phase. he. will. mom. u.

you: i want to be more than friends

tanjirou: best friends :D?

you: n-no, something even bigger than best friends, something more than “like”, something like love

tanjirou:

tanjirou: so like super best friends :D??

you:

(i’m so sorry dude, but we tanjirou lovers have to go through this painful stage)

it’s so obvious that you like him, everyone knows. EVERYONE.

how is his smell super extraordinarily good when he cant even smell ALL THE LOVE FOR HIM COMING FROM U

he doesnt realize he likes u in a romantic way probably until he sees you just getting along with nezuko so well. after all, she means more than the world to him, but seeing you just taking care of her without a second thought or u offering to carry the wooden box for him bc u want him to rest,,,,, he suddenly realizes he wouldn’t mind to expand his family to u.............

MONEY IS FLYING AROUND IN THE BUTTERFLY ESTATE, EVERYONE WAS BETTING HOW LONG ITD TAKE HIM TO REALIZE AND PROPERLY CONFESS

as we already know, family is such an important aspect to him, but respects it if u dont get along well with your own family,, after all...................... youre now part of his family :)

[appreciative nezuko ‘mmgghk’ noises in the back. she likes u a lot!!]

very very affectionate!! he’s a bit too embarrassed to kiss u in front of ppl <:0 (u should still give him a peck on his cheek tho just to see his face and ears redden. so adorable!!), but very big on hand holding and linking arms!!

pls grab one of his hands and kiss it while staring deeply into his eyes. he. will. melt.

doesn’t really use pet names himself, but loves it when you use them for him!! pls be as silly as it gets (like sir floofington, my little cuddle bunny, etc), he will giggle and nuzzle your cheek as his reply!!

although he can be very dense, he’s very very blunt and honest!! (see: scene when he complimented inosuke’s face LOL)

doesn’t know how to flirt, but his honesty could be taken as flirting,,,,

you, teasingly: oh, you’ve been staring in that person’s direction for a while now. should i be jealous?

him: THEY MAY BE VERY BEAUTIFUL, BUT NO MATTER WHERE I LOOK, THE GREATEST BEAUTY I SEE IS YOU

damage: 1000

i kinda wandered off and they aren’t very specific to relationship hcs anymore, sorry D: !! if you want me to redo them, just resend the request and i’ll happily write them anew!!

[huphilpuffs]

flares

chapter: 25/? summary: Dan’s body has been broken for as long as he can remember, and he’s long since learned to deal with it. Sort of. But when his symptoms force him to leave uni and move into a new flat with a stranger named Phil, he finds that ignoring the pain isn’t the way to make himself happy. word count: 3065 rating: mature warnings: chronic illness, chronic pain, medicine a/n: a huge thanks goes to @obsessivelymoody for beta reading this for me!

Ao3 link || read from beginning

Dan wakes up on Thursday to a heaviness in his chest.

He groans before he even opens his eyes. His face is squished against a pillow, his ribs pressed too harshly against the mattress. Stabs of pain burst between them, make his muscles spasm and send his breath escaping in a stutter. He has to count, one, two, three, four to keep it from happening a second time.

It eases some when he rolls onto his back.

And he tries to comfort himself further by counting out how long it’s been since he’s been able to sleep on his stomach. Too long, probably.

He’s been getting better, though. Even staring at the bedroom ceiling through his tears, Dan knows that. Knows the he’s helped Phil with dinner the last few nights, and managed to handle the curtains being open for a few hours yesterday.

His hand smoothes across his sternum, and he pokes at the painful spots in his sides until the sharpness dulls.

It’s enough to let Dan sit up, then stand on shaky knees. He tosses Phil’s pillow back to where it belongs and tucks the duvet into place to prove the voice in his head, wondering why he’s suddenly worse again, that he’s fine.

And to ignore the second voice, telling him it’s anxiety that causes your pain, over and over again.

His appointment is in a day.

Dan’s hardly slept for three.

He tries to swallow back a sigh. Whatever rush of adrenaline had dragged him out of bed has faded, left fatigue settling heavy in his bones again. He could drag himself to the lounge, curl up in his blankets and continue his new daily routine of watching people on YouTube for hours.

But his body aches and his eyes burn, and he crawls back into bed instead.

The voice in his head grows louder.

Dan grabs Phil’s pillow, clutches it ot his chest and presses his face against the fabric, breathing deeply.

It smells like Phil.

He holds it until he falls back asleep.

---

The afternoon drags.

It’s past two when Dan wakes up again. The flat is still empty, the bed unmade again. He crawls out without bothering to fix it, makes himself a sandwich, and settles back on the sofa, where he can rest his head against the cushions and ignore the tightness around his heart.

Every time he turns on his phone, it’s too a notification reminding him he has an appointment tomorrow that has his muscles seizing, making it ache to breathe.

And to a reminder he half regrets setting, since he’s ignored it for days.

Call mum.

There’s only a few hours to follow through with it now.

He glances back at the clock that tells him it’s just ticking past three. Twenty-five hours left, says the voice in his head. It sounds like the last GP he saw, who looked him in the eyes and told him to try acting like he had more energy, who told him it would help.

You should try it, his mum had said afterwards. You never know unless you do.

Dan’s thumb swipes across the screen. He finds her contact, sucks in a breath, and hits the call button.

He doesn’t breathe again until she picks up on the third ring.

“Hi, Dan,” she says.

He hasn’t heard her voice since he decided to stay here. It feels like a lifetime ago, suddenly.

“Hi, mum.”

There’s silence for a long moment. He can hear her breathing over the line, low and steady, and wonders if she can hear the shakiness in his.

“How are you?” she asks

“I’m okay,” he says. “I, uh, have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow.”

“Oh?”

He swallows, nodding even though she can’t see him. “Just with my new GP, but I’m hoping he might be able to help me,” he says. “With, well, you know.”

“I hope he can.”

She sounds sad. It’s been a long time since Dan’s heard that.

“Me too,” he says. And then, because he can’t handle the silence: “But, uh, I was hoping you could maybe help me figure out my medical history, to prepare? I don’t remember all of it from when I first got sick.”

Back when she was responsible for it, he doesn’t say. Back when anyone could keep track of all of it.

“I’ll text it to you, okay?” she says. “I know your memory isn’t always the best, and your wrists tend to ache from writing.”

“Really?” He slams his mouth shut, the click of his teeth probably audible over the phone. “I mean, thanks.”

She chuckles, quiet, distant, like he can hear the miles between them. “I’m not always heartless, you know,” she says.

Dan’s breath comes out in a rush. Guilt bursts in its place, painful, bringing tears to his eyes. And he wants to tell her he never thought she was, but he can’t. She knows he can’t. He doesn’t even know what he thinks about her now, crying, hands shaking as he clutches his phone too tightly.

“Can I ask you something?” she says. “Without you getting mad?”

“Yeah.”

“How are you doing?” she says. “I know you don’t think your problems are with your mental health, and I’m not implying they are–” the not this time goes unspoken “–but I know you’ve had bad experiences with doctors and you’re my son.”

His breath catches. A tear rolls down his cheek, and he wipes it away with his hand.

This is his first appointment without her, he realizes. The first one in six years that she’s not driving him to, waiting outside or sitting next to him for the length of it. The first time she won’t smooth his hand over his knee in the waiting room, telling him it’ll be okay, that doctors can be trusted, even though they’d been proving otherwise for so long.

“I’m okay,” he says. “Phil’s coming with me.”

“That’s good,” she says, like she means it. “I am glad you have him, you know.”

He almost reminds her what she thought of him living with Phil last time they spoke, but his heart aches and his eyes are stinging and he doesn’t want to fight, not this time.

“Me too,” he says. “He’s the best, mum.”

She sounds like she’s smiling when she says: “I’d love to meet him, one day.”

Dan swallows. He can hardly picture it, bringing Phil back to a house filled with terrible memories and people he still doesn’t trust entirely. And yet there’s a tug in his chest, a bittersweet image forming in the back of his mind.

He doesn’t say anything.

Neither does she, for a while.

“I should get going,” is what she ends up saying. “As long as you’re okay? I’ll text you your medical information in a little bit.”

“Okay,” he says. “I’m okay. Thank you.”

She hums. “And Dan?”

“Yeah?”

“You should call your grandma. She misses her sofa buddy.”

He chuckles. It aches. Suddenly, he’s exhausted again. “Okay. I will,” he promises. “And mum?”

“Yeah?”

“No news is good news, okay? If I don’t call you after the appointment, I mean.”

“Okay,” she says. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

The line goes dead.

His head falls back against the cushion and his phone drops onto the sofa. Tears are rolling down his cheeks, and he’s not entirely sure he knows why.

Or maybe he just can’t untangle all the many, many reasons.

---

Phil’s quiet when he gets home.

He takes the smoothie Dan didn’t touch and sets it on the coffee table before dropping onto the empty cushion. His arm is draped across the back of the cushion, his hip just inches from Dan’s, as he turns his gaze to the open laptop, lit up with another Smosh video.

Dan’s been watching them mindlessly since his tears dried on his cheeks.

“This is a good one,” says Phil.

It’s an older one, the production value a little cheaper and humour a tad outdated. Probably more similar to what Phil had watched back at uni, Dan thinks. He tries to imagine it, a younger version of Phil, one with longer hair and a slightly narrower frame, sitting in a uni room like the one Dan moved out of before coming here.

He hardly can. Maybe because his mind is still muddled, hanging onto words he said during the phone call, onto all the things he should have said but didn’t.

“It is,” he says, just as the video ends.

He doesn’t start a new one.

Phil’s fingers sweep across his shoulder. In Dan’s peripheral, he can see Phil turn to look at him, but he doesn’t look back.

“Are you okay?” asks Phil.

Dan swallows. There’s a lump in his throat, a pressure behind his eyes so harsh it aches.

“Didn’t sleep very well,” he says.

Phil squeezes his shoulder. “I know.”

That makes the corner of his mouth quirk up. Of course Phil knows. He was there, arms wrapped around Dan as he fidgeted, tossed, and turned. His hands had combed through Dan’s hair, and his quiet questions about if Dan was okay were mumbled against his shoulder, his reassurance felt in his touch.

Phil usually falls asleep pretty quickly, Dan’s learned. Last night, he didn’t.

The hand at his shoulder tightens. Dan finally turns to face Phil.

“Is that all that’s bothering you?”

His eyes are soft, almost sad, as his hand rubs gentle circles against Dan’s skin. He knows. He must know something’s up. Dan has to remind himself that Phil’s seen him after countless sleepless nights, curled up in soft blankets on the sofa and dozing when his mind gets too tired to keep racing.

Today isn’t like that.

Dan reaches out to rest a hand on Phil’s knee, needing to feel grounded, as the first tear rolls down his cheek. Phil draws him closer, so Dan’s head is by his shoulder, his tears dripping down onto the fabric of Phil’s shirt.

There’s no pressure, none but the weight of Phil’s hand on his shoulder, when Dan says:

“I called my mum.”

Phil goes tense. “Oh,” he say. “How did that go?”

Dan swallows. “I don’t know.”

He really doesn’t. His chest feels too full with contradictions, the weight of past accusations crashing up against her understanding tone and he doesn’t know what to think anymore. He’s never been sure how to exist around her, not since pain first settled in his bones and she told him it was growing pains, it would pass, it would get better.

And it never did.

“I haven’t talked to her since I told her I was staying in Manchester,” he says, maybe as an afterthought, maybe because it’s felt heavy on his shoulders since he answered the phone.

“Was she nicer this time?”

He nods. Another tear falls. “She’s texting me my medical history,” says Dan. “She offered, because she– she knew I had trouble writing and remembering.”

Phil hums. His breath has gone even again. His mouth is close to the top of Dan’s head. He sounds hesitant when he speaks. “It sounds like she cares.”

Dan feels that, sharp and painful in his gut. Another tear rolls down his cheek, and his breath catches, and Phil holds him tighter like he’s scared Dan will fall apart.

Maybe he will.

It’s been so long,

He’s been so that sure she doesn’t actually care.

Now, he doesn’t know what to think.

---

His mum texts him.

Dan almost cries. His teeth dig into his lip and his ribs ache and he stares, wide-eyed, at the list of diagnoses and unexplained symptoms he’s had over the years. There’s the migraines they never treated at the beginning, the lightheadedness it took them four years to explain, the instructions to do more exercise that dot the whole six years that he’s been ill.

The first time he went to therapy, and the antidepressants they put him on, and the second time he went to therapy.

And every time he told his doctor he was still sick after that.

Phil’s hand lands on his wrist, gently pushing the phone from Dan’s line of sight. His voice is barely a whisper when he says: “Are you okay?”

Dan swallows. His throat aches.

Laid out like this, it doesn’t look that bad, a distant voice in his head that’s haunted him for too long tries to remind him that maybe he’s just making it all up. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. But Dan can remember the A&E doctor who turned him away because it was growing pains. Can remember the so many times his blood pressure was low before anyone bothered to point it out.

The time his doctor looked at him and said–

“Can we do something?” says Dan. “I want to– I need a distraction.”

Phil nods. In Dan’s peripheral, his phone screen goes black. The knot in his chest loosens, just a bit.

“Wanna play video games?” says Phil.

He shakes his head. “Wanna go out. It’s been too long.”

Phil’s brows furrow, like he’s about to point out that there’s a reason it’s been so long, about to warn Dan that he doesn’t want to make himself sick before such an important day.

Except part of Dan does. He’s done it before, forced himself to be in pain because maybe that way the doctors would actually see that he wasn’t lying. Not that it’s ever worked.

“Please?” he says.

Phil squeezes his wrist. “Okay.” His thumb drifts across Dan’s, careful and comforting. “Where do you want to go?”

---

Dan squeezes into his skinny jeans, even though the fabric burns his legs. He pulls a shirt over his head for what feels like the first time in forever. Though his knees are shaky, he bends down to tie his own laces, as Phil watches from where he’s leaning against the door.

“Are you sure about this?”

He reaches out, without a word, to help Dan stand again.

“I’m sure,” says Dan. “And don’t worry, you won’t need to take me to A&E this time.”

The corner of Phil’s mouth quirks up, and Dan knows he’s forcing it. He can feel his worry in the too-tight clench of Phil’s hand around his, the way his gaze trips over Dan legs when he wobbles as he stands.

He squeezes Phil’s fingers, forcing a smile of his own, as he opens the door.

It’s warm outside. The sky’s going purple as the sun sinks below the city. Dan realizes, staring up at it, that he hasn’t left the flat since he trip to A&E, hasn’t enjoyed being outside in far too long.

If his joints would let him, he’d suggest they walk around a bit. Instead, he stares up at the clouds and reminds himself to spend more evenings, when the sun won’t burn his eyes, on their little balcony, just to feel the wind against his cheeks again.

Phil tugs on his hand when the cab pulls up in front of them. They pile in, side by side in the back seat. Dan doesn’t put on his seatbelt. He can’t be bothered to deal with the harsh rub of fabric against his ribs.

His chest is still tight, the quiet buzz of anxiety at the back of his mind growing louder. He can still feel his phone, heavy in his pocket, can still imagine the text he hasn’t yet responded to. He can remember their last movie night, laughing and gasping and falling asleep with Phil’s hands trying to massage the pain away.

They hadn’t even gone out last time.

Dan stares out the window and hopes he can keep his promise that it’ll be okay this time.

They slip out of the car at the cinema. Phil pays the driver. Dan leans against the wall as he waits, wondering if the lines inside are long. It’s been so long since he’s been to the cinema, he can hardly imagine it anymore. The screens usually hurt his eyes and the audio gives him a headache and he doesn’t care today.

“You okay?”

Phil’s smiling at him, standing by the door. He holds it open for Dan, and buys their tickets for a random comedy neither of them particularly wanted to see. He lets Dan go find a seat as he buys them popcorn, soda, and a chocolate bar to share. He hands it over, in the darkness of the theatre, with a smile.

Between them, their knees bump together as the film starts.

---

They’re holding hands when it ends.

Dan’s eyes are starting to burn and his chest aches from laughing, but the voices in his head have dulled just enough that he can breathe a little easier. He doesn’t think about the appointment he needs to show up to tomorrow, or the doctor he hasn’t met yet who might dash his hopes all over again.

He stares at their joined hands as the cinema empties, smiling.

“You ready to go home?” says Phil.

Dan shrugs. He probably should give his spine a break by sinking into the sofa again, close his eyes against the bright lights of the city before a headache wells in his temples. But he doesn’t want to sit in the dark and wait until tomorrow, letting his fears return.

“Can we get pizza?”

“You up to walk?”

He nods. Phil helps him to his feet and leads him out of the cinema. He knows Manchester better than Dan does, and tells a story about coming to watch movies with Ian when he was younger as they find the nearest pizza place. Dan listens, maybe more attentively than he needs to, to keep his mind from going hazy as the city moves around him.

There’s still a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Dan wonders if him of a few years ago would have believed that he’d end up here.

The restaurant they end up in is small and quiet, and they slide into a booth in the corner of the room. Dan sinks back against the cushion, realizing that Phil’s smiling, too.

His chest feels warm. His fingers twist in the tablecloth, because part of him misses holding Phil’s hand.

“Thanks for tonight,” says Dan. “I had fun.”

Under the table, Phil knocks their feet together.

“I did too,” he says.