#but he couldve just asked! you inviting me to your house does this mean you have feelings for me? easy peasy

[tinyspacetovent]

Jeongwook is a better person than me.. I would've slap hyeongjin at the end

[variousqueerthings]

I feel like I've gotta do a quick Thing on "invitation to romance" because it really is a fascinating episode that does something to my read that I don't think it intended (probably?) that goes something like "what happens when you put an aromantic (and asexual, considering some of the scenes) into a wacky romance screwball comedy crime plot?"

(the answer is: he turns down the invitation to romance. but he may dance!)

see the thing is. ok this episode I assume is kinda trying to do a lil winkwink nudgenudge, fraser could do romance in the future potentially, you never knowwwww, but it's the funniest possible episode they couldve done it with because:

this woman and fraser are absolutely terribly matched. it feels more like fraser is her long-suffering uncle than sparks flying in the air (romantic or sexual), in a way that kind of reminisces of him literally taking care of a 16yr old in that earlier episode? like he is just running after her and giving her life lessons and feeling a bit exasperated, but they're not giving cary grant/katharine hepburn (+ i assume she's a single-episode character, so whatever connection they have is confined to whatever happens within the episode itself)

the episode nigh on constantly goes on about how fraser isn't into those kinds of things: the fact that she keeps mistaking the situation and he gets uncomfortable about it, especially the waterbed scene, the whole "whats the least romantic scenario you could imagine, that's where fraser is" bit with vecchio, literally fraser's whole speech about thinking he was in love (once)

to then pin the little tease at the end on her earlier in the episode going "try pulling on the string on your jacket and see what happens" (the button popped off, just like he said it would, but the next time he pulled it... stayed on! i guess? is it supposed to indicate that one bad love experience doesn't mean they all will be? idk that's reaching, the rest of the episode ain't about that, it's directly linked to her/their connection) bolsters points 1+2, because it's such a non-thing/utterly unromantic/misrepresents the fraser shown in every other episode. she doesn't know (why would she) that he routinely gets in the middle of fights and corruption and injustice, so it's such an odd thing to have her say he's not reckless when ray would probably say he's stupidly reckless to the point of giving him anxiety heartburn!

what it does feel like instead is fraser not being afraid of being misunderstood: he can go dance with this woman, it would be fun (he's clearly not a bad dancer) and it doesn't have to be taken the wrong way. he can relax a bit and be himself without judgement, where, as much as i find the "every woman and man thinks fraser is ridiculously attractive" (i mean he is) funny, it's also a bit that relies on the his being uncomfortable by the attention + immediately creates a wall between him and the other person. if that person is (openly) only interested in sex and/or a romantic relationship, then he can't get close to them Off The Bat. but here, he lets go of those stressors. he just dances for a bit and it's chill (the main funny thing for me about the "fraser is so hot to everyone around him" is the comedy of errors type level of aroace disconnect between how we see things vs how they see things, similar to that episode of "bojack horseman" that shows an asexual's perspective on allosexuality by placing the canonically ace character in a house full of incredibly sexual people)

there's an ongoing joke of fraser not "seeing" the signs that someone is trying to ask him out/is into him, but i also like the read that yes, a lot of the time he really doesn't, but quite often he does and he chooses to gracefully deflect in a way that won't cause her any embarrassment (like the time that woman wanted to go horseback riding with him). he likes riding horses, but she clearly means it as a segue to Something More and that builds a wall

so yeah, the above scene is cute, but im presuming not for the reasons it was probably intended to be (listen, i say this, but for all i know paul gross and haggis and whoever confirmed that he's not into sex and romance idk). it's cute because fraser let his hair down (so to speak) for once and she let him without strings attached. too many fucking strings attached to this man's life. just let him dance

Addendum: this in connection with "heaven and earth" (which I watched first under recommendation and makes sense watching first, because it lightly follows on from the end-scene of "the deal") makes fraser come out of it even more aro-sounding, because of the way ray describes him in that episode: "meaning guys like him don't marry girls like you. that's fairytale. and girls like you get hurt and guys like him don't even know it, and that's life!"

truly do wonder what he means by "guys like him." guys who flit through life like some kind of fairytale Being? guys who come from the wild and dream of returning there some day? guys who are larger than life because they're dedicated to something other than "love"?

(sidenote, why does ray do the below after he's confronted and comforted frannie and most importantly warned her away from fraser? after she's left and he drops the smile for her, why does he do this? why do we have a whole Beat dedicated to this?)

(so many questions)

[om-headcanon]

Hi!! For the ✨sad✨ headcanons, how would the demon brothers cope with/take care of an MC with BPD? It's a really difficult for some people to take care of due to the crises and intense mood swings we go through. Have a lovely day/evening 💕

hi hi hi! im excited to receive my first request!! ^^ to be quite honest im not //super familiar with bpd so i dont know the depths of it, but i made sure to do some more research before hand and i hope i did well!! (if not just lmk and ill fix anything!) i hope youre having a lovely day/evening as well :D

lucifer:

when he went through your file before you arrived, he saw that you had bpd

he went to barbatos to ask if he knew anything about the disorder, and he gave him a brief synopsis of what bpd was

he wants nothing more than to be a good host and tries his best to understand

lucys too prideful to ask questions to you directly, but that doesnt mean he doesnt care!

he finds as many books as he can about human mental disorders and reads up in his free time

every day he asks you if youre alright with little to no explanation why hes asking

if he happens to catch you during one of your mood swings, he doesnt say much but just stays by your side

if he has work to do he will bring it into the room youre in so he can work by your side

(if he doesnt have work he will literally just sit next to you or climb into your bed with you)

mammon:

hes never been too vocal about how he feels about you, but then once he hears about your fear of abandonment, he constantly reiterates hes never going anywhere

(maybe too much)

all eight of you can be eating dinner and he will just recite an entire monologue about how thankful he is to have you around

and everyone else would agree of course

if the others didnt know about your bpd, they may wonder why he does this

but regardless they all join in and share things they love about you

to say hes clingy is an understatement... but he also wants you to know if you ever feel like hes around too much he will leave you alone

he just really wants to help in any way he can and he never wants to hurt you nor have you think for a second he doesnt love and care about you

leviathan:

the moment he finds out, he takes some time to do research himself

immediately after he realises you prefer to not be alone, he never leaves your side

to be honest, he hates being alone too but he is also pretty anxious when it comes to asking people to hang out with him!

but its different with you!

hes always right beside you when your mood swings cause you to feel extremely low

he doesnt know exactly what to say and he may ask lucy what he would do when someone he cares about is feeling sad

lucifer tells him the best thing you can do is be by their side and levi does exactly that

sometimes he will even go as far as offering to leave the house and get you ice cream just to show he cares

satan:

of course he has read up on this before, but still continues to ask you questions as hes never met anyone with bpd and wants to be as understanding as possible

while he has periods of intense anger, he realises that you also experience mood swings, so he tries to be more aware of his anger

he really doesnt want to counter your anger with his own as he realises that might be counterproductive

he read something online once about how pets can help with bpd

when lucifer said no to getting a cat, he decided that he would take you to a cat cafe!

...every single time youre upset!

if youre allergic he will just pout about it but then make you watch cat videos on the couch while he cuddles with you

asmodeus:

as much as he would love to be around you all the time, he still wants to give you your space

but the moment he hears that a common symptom of bpd is fearing abandonment, he fears that him being away from you made you think he doesnt like being with you

similarly to mammon, he counters this by staying around you more

he does research on his own as well to make sure he understands you to the best he can

but mostly, asmo very much acknowledges the importance of communication

unlike most of his brothers who would be too prideful or embarassed to ask, asmo asks you directly how he can support you the best

if you want the others to know but dont feel like telling them personally, asmo will relay the information!

he acknowledges that up until this point, your life may have been extremely difficult because of your bpd and now all he wants to do is make your life easier

beelzebub:

he honestly doesnt understand at first!

when he sees you have your first mood swing he just assumes youre really hungry

he immediately heads to the kitchen and works to make your favorite food

asmo comes in and explains what bpd is, and explains youre not just acting out due to hunger

beel is kinda upset with himself that he didnt know about this and he wishes he knew so he couldve understood you better

he still brings you the food of course

but then he decides to sit with you as maybe what you need the most at that time is for someone to stay by your side

he offers you hugs but isnt offended if you say no

when youre feeling back to yourself again you try to apologize but he tells you that theres nothing to worry about and hes always here for you

belphegor:

firm believer of ~sleep is the best medicine~

when he notices your first mood swing he suggests that you should just take a nap

once you wake up and he notices youre not that different, he decides to ask some questions

after you say that you have bpd, hes very curious has a lot of questions

hes never met anyone with bpd so he inquires how does it affect your day to day life and what exactly is it?

you tell him a few of the common symptoms like the mood swings, the feelings of emptiness, and the fear of abandonment

he apologizes if anything he has done was insensitive or if he hurt you in any way

he often asks if theres anything he can do to make you feel better whenever you seem even a little different

hes not the best with comforting you with words so on nights youre at your lowest, he invites you to watch the stars with him so that you arent alone

(sorry this took so long i took all day writing this :0 do tell me how i did! if you believe anything was worded poorly or incorrect do let me know! ^^)

[ecotone99]

I'd die for you

I first met Urvashi during class 6th of our school. We were classmates. she was kind and bright, but above all she was willing to be friends with someone plain and boring as me. I loved her. But I was alright with never confessing my feelings to her, because i hated the fact that we may not be friends anymore. my parents lived far away from me so most of the times i would have dinner at Urvashi’s house . That day i went to Urvashi’s house to help her cook a feast for her moms birthday. But I was careless, i left the recipe book close to the stove and it caught fire. The fire soon spread through the whole house.

“My mom is still in there “, Urvashi kept shouting but the firefighters wouldn’t let her go past them. Soon the whole house fell to ashes.

“This is all my fault” i thought to myself.

All kinds of things were said at the funeral, that how Urvashi had only her mom after her father had left them , and now that she had also left her , she no longer had anyone left.

“ im really sorry” , i said in a sobbing voice.”its all my fault, if i had paid attention , nothing like that wouldve happened. I know ill never get your forgiveness with just an apology , but i-”

Before i could say anything more, Urvashi hugged me and said,” it’ll be fine , it wasnt your fault, as long as i have you everything will be fine”, she said with tears in her eyes. She didnt care that she had lost someone important because of me , she forgave me with an open heart . thats when i mad up my mind, i will protect Urvashi for as long as i live. She will never suffer like this again. Two years passed.

I could hear some of the girls gossiping in our class.

“He was the 2nd victim “, one of them said.

“Scary,its fishy how they went missing one after the another”. Said another

“I bet she did something to them”

“ who knows?”

“At any rate, its better if we stay away from Urvashi”

I couldnt bear this any longer. I walked up to Urvashi and asked her if she wanted to walk home together.

“Dont let them get to you “ , i said , trying to comfort her.”its not your fault Urvashi”

“But, two people i dated suddenly disappeared you know,” she said.” everything was normal just the other day, now they’re nowhere to be found. Why do those important to me suddenly disappear?” as she said this, Urvashi made the same distraught face she made when her mom died in that fire that day. Seeing her in such a state twisted my heart beyond belief.” i wasnt trying to blame you” she said seeing the look on my face,” youre an important friend . besides what happened two years ago was an accident.”but i could never forgive myself for it.

“Hey” she said while looking and smiling at me,” you know, everyone important to me keeps disappearing one by one. Im terrified, please you dont leave me too”. Heaing those words from her only strengthened my resolve.

“ ill be fine “, i said. We saw each other off and went our own separate ways.

Shes so cute and precious, ‘please dont leave me too’ , i just love her soo much. Ive made up my mind to protect Urvashi. Theres no way id disappear. Thats why everytime Urvashi gets a boyfriend, i test them. I would flirt with them , invite them over and every time they easily come with me. Boys are such pigs. Cheaters like that arent worthy of Urvashi. I wanted to make sure that these filthy men would never make Urvashi cry in the future, so i nipped the problem in the bud. The public thinks theyve gone missing , and Urvashi also hasnt noticed either. I do feel sorry for her since because of all this , there are rumors going about her in the class. But its good this way cause the worthless nobodies stay away from her. As i entered the class i saw that somebody had written ‘ Urvashi is a dirty slut who eats men’.i quickly picked up the duster and rubbed it off. I turned around to see that some girls had surrounded Urvashi and were talking to her. I walked closer to the group to listen what they were talking about. I saw that it was Hargun and her friends talking to Urvashi. I say that they had put dirty wet rags on Urvashis seat.

“Urvashi , could you do something about your seat, i dont want to sit near someone whos seat is so dirty”, she said with hate in her eyes and a sly smile on her face.Urvashi glared back at them.

One of the girls got scared and said” what, you think we did this? You are the one who makes your boyfriends disappear and then attend school as if nothing happened.”

“Stop it you all”, i said in a calm voice, looking towards those girls.” what youre doing is completely disgusting.

“You stay away from this “, Hargun said while facing me “ just because you are her best friend doesnt mean you will support everything she does”

“ i didnt say that because im her friend, i said this because i think you all are scum”

The look in my face caused Hargun to shudder a bit. She left with her friends sson after. Urvashi thanked me for saving her, but the only thing that was going through my mind was that Hargun needed to go for Urvashi to be happy. The next day was a weekend , and Hargun attended extra classes on those days till late evening. I put on my hoodie and grabbed my suitcase, duffle bag and a hammer. I waited for her to be alone and then i started following her. I guess she noticed me because after a few minutes she started running. But i always knew that she was a dumb girl. She ended up running into a dead end with no lights. She turned around to see me , but before she could say anything , i smashed her face in with the hammer. She died instantly . i used the bleach to remove any blood from the path and then stuffed her body into the suitcase. Im getting pretty used to killing poeple. But i hadnt done anything wrong, this was all to protect Urvashi. *click* what was that? I turned around to check where that sound came from but there was no one there. Maybe it was my imagination . maybe im getting too paranoid. What is the point of being scared, i dont care being called a murderer if i can keep a smile on Urvashis face. As i thought this , i saw a wretched rotten away face staring from a corner at me. “ are you sure about that ?” , it said “ you erase those who you deem unworthy of of Urvashi, but that isnt the truth. You just want her all yo yourself , dont you?” i got scared and jumped back in impulse.i looked back at the corner but the face was no longer there.” everything i do is for Urvashi and no one else” i said to myself as i walked back to my home.

The next day after classes ended , our teacher told us that Hargun hadnt reached home yesterday and asked us to be extra careful. While walking home i could see that Urvashi was tense . i asked her what was wrong. “ im really cursed arent i ?, anyone i have any kind of connection with disappears.” as she said this, she started weeping.

“ its not your fault Urvashi” , i said while thinking that it was true that it wasnt her fault, because it was mine.i killed them all.

“ theres no need for you to cry” i said “ because, its their fault they didnt come back, each of them might have a reason why they disappeared. So please dont vry for them” as i said this Urvashi stopped crying and without saying anything went back home.

Later that night i decided that it was finally time for me to dismember Urvashi and dispose off her because even after keeping the body in ice , it had started to rot. I put her body in the bathtub and started cutting her in small pieces. As i was doing this someone rang the bell. I thought they would leave after sometime but they kept ringing the bell continuously.i quickly washed my hands and opened the fron door. I was shocked to see the police standing there.

“ are you deeksha?” they asked.

“ yes , but why? “ i said trying to act cool.

“ we received a report so we came to confirm it” as he said this he produced three pictures in front of me. In two if them i could be seen disposing of bodies and in one of them i could be seen stuffing Harguns body in the suitcase. Seeing this i felt as if i lost my voice. I couldnt say anything.

“You are suspected of unlawful disposal of corpse” said the policeman. “ we will now be searching your house” as he said this, two policemen entered my house. “ we found the body sir” on of them shouted from the bathroom”

“ you are under arrest “ said the policeman in front of me.as the policeman apprehended me , i shouted” who was the bastard that clicke those photos? Ill kill them !!”

“I clicked those “

I turned around to see who said that . i was frozen stiff to see Urvashi standing there. “ thats right, i clicked those “

“ Urvashi, what are you doing here?”

“ the fire that broke out two years ago, no one could blame you no matter how much you were at fault, and also i knew you were in love with me. So i thought that id make you suffer through raging jealousy as revenge for the fire. Thats why i started dating those boys. And as i predicted, you killed them both , and as an added bonus you killed Hargun too” she said while giggling.” you mustve thought of some bullshit , like everything i do is for Urvashi, right? You killed them on your own , can you stop saying that it was for my sake? Those word sound quite funny from the mouth of my mothers murderer.” as she said that i felt destroyed. I just wanted to die. “Wait, then why did you forgive me?” i asked shivering.

“ i can tell many lies, i’ll never forgive you . even if you spend the rest of your life atoning for those sins.”

“ hold on , then why, why did you tell me you forgave me back then, if you didnt forgive me, i was ready to kill myself.if you hated my existence that much , i couldve killedmyself for your sake.”

“ it wouldve been over fr you if you died back then. i had to drag you to the deepest depths of despair or else there would have been no point. You killed three poeple , thats a much heavier sin than setting that fire. Thank you for going to hell on your own” as she said that she gave a carefree smile to me, as if she had finally attained the things for which she lived for.

“ i finally got my revenge”

-end-

submitted by /u/xarcaliber [link] [comments] source https://www.reddit.com/r/shortscarystories/comments/gpnwnm/id_die_for_you/ via Blogger https://ift.tt/3efg8It

[somedaypast-thesunset]

this morning i watched him simply turn to his mother, "oh yeah did i tell you about the bin" - a source of financial frustrations for him. and that brief moment, that opportunity and ability to turn to someone and say hey, heres this thing at a drop of a hat. i really yearn for that. most if not all of my current connecrions eith people are totally false. theres no substance or genuine care. theres just this surface level like you dont want to see a dog withiut water but youre not going to adopt the dog. lately ive felt extremely isolated - i dont know if its even worth talking about. i dot know if talking about it will solve it or make it easier. i guess i think abiut this one tidbit of advice his mother got, its about creating and living in a new normal. what was once normal for you is over and you have to create a new normal for you. so my new normal is spending a lot of time alone. even if i worked, perhaps itd bother me less because id be distracted and tired and that in itself is sad. no matter what there is an extreme looming sadness. why the fuck does any of this matter, why do i care - why should i go on? whats the purpose of going on? what do i have besides the belief thst "everything is out there for me" as if i magixally decided to hibernste and ignore what opportunities i had available. i am a god damn termite to people. im just like.. this thing that hovers around and sucks your resources but you feel bad for it so you let it go. lately ive noticed the air of desperstion i carry. i want to be around people. i want to care and be cared for. i want to be active in someones life and have someone message me and ask me whats up on a regular basis and just.. you kbow, care. but the more i want it the more people have turned away. i offer everything for it laid out in front of me - my house, my food, what little money i have, the opportunities i manage to come up with - i just keep offering it all out so i can have it in return. or maybe just a portion of it. i believe im worthy of love. i dont live in such a state of depression; i have a variety of interests, i hold good conversations about politics and life and philosophy, i am creatively ralented and my domestic skills are top notch as are my hosting skills. i am worthy of love. but i am not receiving it. i am inherently shielded from love. like its sketchy and gross. like im a diseased animal. maybe they want to love me but they cant because im a person who cant be loved. i want to go out and do things with people but i am not invited. i dont even think its a personal thing, i think they coukd even think i wont have the means or care to be involved. sometimes i dont. but im never asked out for a coffee or a drink. my friendships come by happenstance, as they always have, and thoee hwppenstance friendships have never lasted. why am i never asked oto do interesting or fun things? not even free things? im isolated and im constantly constantly constantly reaching out for something. just wow, thank you for talking to me. like i have to beg people to hang out, double, triple check they didnt forget and once im there they busy themselves with anything but a direct connection to me. i watched this right to die documentary. it was focused towards mental and unseen health issues and the argument was made that perhaos in sone of these cases, if they expended as much energy tryi to help them live as they did helping them die, the might actully not want to die. but i think society ca be like that. they would rather help you die, little by little, piece by piece, than expend the energy to help you live. i realized i am very different from others thiugh. people tend to accept a very small amount of "help" as sonething large and amazing that they did. they donated, had a coffee eith a friend whos been down for months, did a birthday psrty gig cheap etc. but i would literally accept them into my house right now and bathe them and feed them and give them my clothes and make them a bed and listen to them cry for hours endlessly. this is without question. all they have to do is ask. maybe not even ask - ill offer if i think theyy could use it. because it hurts me not to. i feel really anxiously guilty and it will be invasive to my life knowing i didnt give everything i couldve to a person i thiught needed help that i had grown a bond eith. THATS how ive been walked on for a long time. i alloeed it, maybe asked for it, because i believe in helping. i know how bad life is. i live in the trenches of it. i dont want to see another person suffer the same way. i think id gut myself and give a kidney to someone i loved. life is too hard and i feel too much. once you know what true loneliness is, it really changes you as a person. it changes and shifts your perspective and at times i feel like i want to be the most genrrous person, thst im moved by suffering but at other times i am bitter. absolutrly bitter towards the world around me. why is there suffering and why is it sonlarge you cant do anythint abiut it. why could i say every person i know is "crazy" - no one is crazy . everyone truly is exactly the way they needed o be to survive this long. they developed their own coping skills and theyre more than likelt a total inconvinience to everyone else. which makes it "crazy" i was called neurotic. im not crazy, im neurotic. why am i bothered. why. why do i care. i dont care. thats the problem. i "care" because my environment forced me not to care to a point that everything is utterly futile. i cannot find a purpose to care. i dont care about having things. i dont. i barely care about eating. i barely care about affording smokes. these are things i "want" at rhe very least and nothing pushes me for it. nothing gets me up and solving these problems. nothing makes me feel like any of this is important eniugh to have and experience and be. why? in the end , theres nothing. i cannot get over the pure nothingness ahead of me. thats reqllt driving my anxiety. to me, i see nothing. i dont see myself with this job or career i want to be apart of, actively socializing and existing, i dont see myself living in an apartment or basement or shack or trailer, i dont see a family, no children, no reliability, no stability. is it my environment. is it the people i know. is it my city. is it the country. how do i solve this. what can i do to create purpose? i went out, i joined clubs, i put on shows, i picked up hobbies, i met new people, worked new gigs, experienced new romances but to what purpose. what do i do now. how do i enjot life? i admired his ability to enjoy life as is. like he takes joy in small things and everything is meaningful and worth value. he created purpose in his work and drive. he still does. i want that. at the very least. start small, right? i want to find wonder and joy in my world. i want to feel what he feels; going hiking, bike riding, buileing things, playing games, friendships - theres just like accomplishment in it. i try to implement this, regularly. i really try. a d being poor makes it easy because you learn to appreciate things alot more. i am so grateful for the ability to have what i have. and i create these scenarios and try to appreciate its novelty, i guess. like painting in an artists studio in a gallery. it should be an experience, something creative and inspiring. but no matter how hard i try to shine the experience, its nothing more than a gsthering space for fuck ups. i hate it. i hate it but how do i change it and what do i want. what do i want so i know the path to take for it. i willingly try new things with ease becahse i hope itll be the thing. something will click and this will be it but im 27 yrs old and ive had many experiences thst led to nothing. always nothing. and i grasp. i like cats. maybe ill work in a pet store. but thats crazy, a pet store is mearly retail and retail is nothing more than stocking shelves and talking to people. othing to do with cats. do i go to school? do i dedicate my being for the welfare of cats? is it that important to my life? do i cook? professionally? what about baking? a greenhouse? floral designer? "just get -a- job". fine. fine. fine. get -a- job, but then what? i can eat but i have no desire to. i can buy nice things, go places - have no desire to. fantastic, im not a burden to anyone - the real goal. but i have nothing. and its so hard, so fucking hard to comprehend nothing when you know something. i never imagined the reality of nothing on such a level. ever. i knew it would come, but the heavy reality of it is something i never couldve known. so no one understands having a tangible "something" and feeling nothing. what is a nice house. what is a nice car. what is luxury and why does it matter and why dont i feel the same way about it? its nice, its easy, its beautiful- i see it. but why doesnt it make me feel the same way it does him and my exs and my friends. why dont i care? i think.. 5 hours ahead of me, really. i try to think a day or so ahead but i never go through with anything i think ill do a day from now. who knows what will happen. who knows if i get an opportunity for honest interacrion, who knows if i earn money - but i know in five hours ill still be here. ill probably want weed. ill probably want food. maybe ill be tired and sleep early or nap until someone bothers to acknowledge me. maybe they wont, but thatll be for me in five hours to deal with and itll start over again. working paycheck to paycheck is nothing like living hour to hour. i am in the absolute worst position of my life, bar none. i have never been so bad off, so depressed, so hopeless for such a long period of time. i am totally lost. always. j