#but he can't say that because it would interfere with his fawn response

[thefandomlesbian]

I wholeheartedly agree that Chase's whole schtick is a trauma response. I also think that it's relevant that he's operating in two opposing modes simultaneously--the choice between bowing to an authority figure's will to save himself or advocating for someone weaker than him even when it puts him in harm's way.

We know as a younger person, Chase never became that advocate, though he might've wanted to be. He didn't protect his sister. He wanted to. He learned from the church environment that he should, that as the older sibling and as the man in the home it was his job to guard her. He was too weak to act, crushed by the ongoing feeling of failure, and also resentful of the fact that his dad neglected to perform his own duties and left it all to Chase. Chase was a child, too, caught between the responsibilities of being the oldest patriarch available and still being a boy. Eventually, he blamed himself for his sister's decline, and he severed most ties with her to escape his own guilt. He didn't act to protect her.

These are all actions he takes before med school.

In healthcare, one of the first maxims we learn: Inaction is an action.

When you feel like something is not right about your patient and choose not to follow up, that is a directly harmful action for which you can be held criminally and civilly responsible, if the patient suffers consequences of your decision not to act. This is bashed through the heads of young nurses (and, I hope, young doctors, as well).

So Chase comes out of the religious environment that told him he was wrong for not protecting his sister and promptly enters a professional environment that tells him the same thing... but it also offers him opportunities to do better. As an intern, a resident, and a fellow, he gets to be the person who makes the choices to advocate. Furthermore, in this environment, making the choice to protect the vulnerable (an honorable decision he admires) doesn't typically result in him being punished. Perhaps he meets an attending physician who doesn't appreciate him making overriding calls, but if his order saves a life, nobody is going to lambast him for overstepping. This is important in him becoming more courageous and growing as a man. But it also keeps someone else (House) in the authority figure seat--he doesn't see himself as wielding the power, just that he's in a different environment where the person with authority allows him to make the right choice.

This boils over when, reeling from the death of his father, he disregards a vital assessment finding and his patient ultimately dies. Inaction is an action. He made a choice that caused grievous harm. His license to practice is threatened. These are all true things, but what matters most, what changes him, is House's behavior through this arc.

Chase: Maybe if she'd said something about taking ibuprofen, mentioned the rectal bleeding! House: Yeah, why didn't she go to med school like you did?! Diarrhea! Blood in the stool! These are routine questions-- Chase: Doctors skip all the time! It was a minor mistake; I couldn’t have known this was going to happen-- House: Mistakes are as serious as the results they cause! This woman could die because you were too lazy to ask one simple question!

(emphasis my own--again, inaction is an action is inherent to the practice of modern medicine)

This is important because it's the first time Chase has ever been attacked by an external figure for failing to act responsibly. He has always been told that acting responsibly is important, but with his family, he only managed to slither out alive, leaving the people he loved behind in the ruins. He failed at the priesthood, something that emphasizes the importance of brotherhood; this is also perhaps because of his belief that authority figures are inherently evil, which is oppositional to the core of the church.

He has lived with the internal voice of Why didn't you save her? for decades, about his sister. But he has never had someone else say it to him. Though Chase projected paternal roles onto House a lot, House and Rowan are very different people, where Rowan saved himself (no one else) from an unsafe situation and modeled that to his son, and House... sacrifices himself.

House, in all of his socially being a bastard, confronts Chase directly: "You caused an egregious harm in failure to act. You are responsible for this." It's the first time any external person, especially one Chase respects, has called him out like this--reminded him firmly that his responsibility is to his patient, not himself. It's important for House to illustrate that explicitly.

Then, House does something else that has never been done before: advocates for Chase.

Stacy: If Chase screwed up so badly, why didn't you fire him? House: He has great hair.

House refuses to flip on Chase, though he suspects Stacy would like him to, and vice versa. (And he maintains this attitude with Chase throughout the series, where House sets himself up multiple times to take falls for Chase's mistakes.) He doesn't tell Stacy why Chase messed up; that's Chase's story to tell. But he also refuses to throw him under the bus.

Followed by this:

Chase: Why didn't you tell me he was dying? House: He asked me not to. Chase: [Getting angry.] So you just hung me out there to be blindsided. House: [Softly.] Yeah Chase, it was all my fault.

House assumes responsibility for his role as the attending physician. He allows Chase to absolve himself of his guilt by passing the buck to himself.

Eventually, Chase needs clarification. He's never had an authority figure who would do this before. House doesn't make him the scapegoat (when objectively he could, and perhaps even should given the nature of what occurred). So Chase asks outright.

Chase: You're not going to say anything? House: I'm going to keep my mouth shut. Legally, it's better for me if you go down in flames.

This episode right here is what lays the foundation for Chase's behavior to change, permanently, with him regarding himself as the power-holder, instead of a pawn at the mercy of some bad man, seeing the world burning around him and powerless to help. This cements what more than a decade of medical education has taught him: Inaction is an action. He knows he failed his sister. He takes great care not to fail his patients. And when he does, he has an ally who will sink alongside him.

We can see, moving on into the Tritter arc in season three, that this lesson is truly permanent.

CHASE: [insistent] Stop the surgery! HOUSE: [threatening] Get the hell out of my way. CHASE: [pushes him back] No! I'm... [House punches Chase squarely in the jaw. Chase falls to the floor. House looks shocked at what he's done. Others stop to look at the scene. Chase lets out a cough and sighs. He continues, still on the floor.] CHASE: Light damages the blood cells. The damaged blood cells contain protoporphyrin. The protoporphyrin builds up in the liver. That's why the liver's shutting down!

This is what Chase lives in fear of. His whole youth, he couldn't protect others because he was so busy living in fear of what could happen to him, so he believed he was Bad and continued to slither by protecting only himself, all while being haunted by Catholic guilt as he fell short of the standards that the church held him to. Until this scene, House has been a fairly safe place for Chase--surly, rude, mean, degrading, but ultimately they share the same goals (Fix Patient) with the same vigor. For the very first time, due to House's detox, they're on opposite sides. But House has taught Chase so fervently that Fix Patient is the goal, it overrides his fear, even when House hits him--he repeats his diagnosis and his insistence that this can save their patient. He grew. He's a man who, now, would have been able to save his sister. It's too late for her, but not for the patient of the week.

It recurs throughout the middle and end of series where Chase's determination to Advocate doesn't fade. This culminates in Dibala and his subsequent divorce. He believes it is his duty to advocate for vulnerable people and does what he must to prevent a genocide, though it puts blood on his hands. Inaction is an action, so Chase acts. It costs him his marriage and places everyone at risk, but he does it.

All of which is finally solidified at the end of S7 in his exchange with Thirteen:

Chase: I'm gonna move you, and then I'm gonna pick your friend up, carry her down to my car, take her to the hospital, and try to save her life. Thirteen: She's staying here. Chase: Move. [Thirteen does not move] Chase: (loudly) Move! [He shoves Thirteen aside, but she recovers her balance and pulling Chase away from the bedroom door, starts punching him in the chest, grunting with the effort. She finally lands a punch to his jaw, which causes him to go down. He gets up just as she attempts to hit him again. He blocks the punch and grabbing her by the neck and upper arms, shoves her roughly to the floor] Chase: She's going to the hospital.

He is willing to fight physically against someone he loves to save a human life.

When he was young, he was too scared to help, too terrified to act. Bad things would happen regardless, and he didn't want to be scapegoated, so he avoided. He didn't act. It harmed him in his family, it harmed him in the church, and it harmed him in his career... until he learned, ostensibly primarily from his time with House, that bad things happen regardless, but he can minimize the bad things if he is willing to take action, and that is always worth the fight, to know you did everything you could.

He once was a scared little boy.

He's now a man. He's still scared. But he doesn't let it stop him from doing what's right.

Chase has a fawn response btw

He also resents this, which is why he gets that annoyed teenager thing going on

Additionally, like House, he doesn’t actually believe sticking up for himself does any good. Chase believes that doing what the person in power wants is the only thing that MIGHT protect him. This is an ingrained belief. By season 3, he has not yet truly realized that sometimes HE is the one in power in certain situations.

Chase also feels an overwhelming need and responsibility to protect vulnerable women and children. Particularly single women and children. I’m sure this has nothing to do with his past at all /sarcasm.

Which is why he frames himself as negligent when he causes the death of his patient, despite the extenuating circumstances. No one else was going to protect her. That was HIS job. And he failed. Shouldn’t he be punished?

He comes off as a person without a backbone or ethics because he’s made a life out of looking which way the wind was blowing, finding who was making the weather. Ethics, to him, are a luxury.

Or a self-sacrifice.

All of this leads to him preferring bad things just happen—not that they’re his fault. He feels very little agency in his life, and his own reactions are counter to his agency. He’d rather have done nothing than done something wrong.

But that’s not a great way to live. And really, Chase’s whole story is about learning to make his own choices. To embrace his own agency, whether that brings him successes or losses.

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Francis Drake Main Story

This is simply a fan translation and is not intended as a replacement for the game. Expect grammatical errors.

Minor spoilers ahead.

I returned to the mansion alone and quietly closed the door.

(It was here that I first met Drake.)

(To think that this would also be where we part ways.)

As I touched the door that stood between him and me一

Napoleon: “Mitsuki!”

Mitsuki: “Napoleon, everyone.”

Everyone in the mansion rushed to join me.

Comte: “We got worried after reading your letter. Are you okay?”

Mitsuki: “Yes. I’m really sorry for worrying you.”

Vlad: “Mitsuki, did you go through the door?”

Napoleon: “Did you go after Drake?”

Mitsuki: “Yes. I went to settle things.”

Let’s rewind time a bit.

------------Flashback-----------

Drake was leading me through the dark hallway while holding my hand. After confessing our feelings on that cliff, we returned to the hallway that transcends time and space.

Mitsuki: “The mansion’s doors were experiencing some spatial anomalies, yet this place seems fine.”

Drake: “Probably because I’m here now.”

Tilting his head, he tugged at the harness belt wrapped around his shoulder and waist with his thumb.

Drake: “This thing acts as a stabilizer to keep us from getting lost in here. It’s keeping this place stable.”

Drake: “My genius partner created this.”

Mitsuki: “There’s such a thing?”

Drake: "Yeah. Well, his genius led him to bear a responsibility that went beyond simply designing a door."

(Is the person accompanying him the designer of the door?)

I heard Comte and Vlad build the door using a blueprint Vlad happened to come across.

Could it be that Galileo drew the original blueprint?

Drake: "So, what will you do, fawn?"

Mitsuki: "Huh?"

Drake: "Right now, you can go wherever you want, whether it's the 19th century or the 21st century where you originally lived."

(----!)

Faced with an unexpected choice, I could only stand there, bewildered.

(The place I want to go...)

The place that came to mind was neither the 19th nor the 21st century.

Mitsuki: "I want to go to a certain place and confirm something."

Mitsuki: "It might be harsh for you, but..."

(I want to check it for his sake.)

The place I wanted to go was...

Drake: "This place..."

The location we visited was the garden of the old mansion一the place where Drake and his mother were captured.

Peering into that cruel hall from the garden, it seemed like the young Drake had already escaped, as there was no one there except for a woman crucified, her chest drenched in blood.

Drake: "You understand, right? We can't interfere with the past."

Mitsuki: "Yeah, I know."

He averted his gaze, seemingly avoiding facing whatever was in front of him.

This place probably still hurts him.

(I'm forcing him to confront painful and difficult memories.)

Even knowing that I was doing something terrible, I still held onto his hand and mustered my courage to step through the window into the room.

And then, amidst the choking smell of blood, we walked quietly toward his mother, her chest stained red.

(I really don't want to intrude at this moment.)

But if my guess was correct...

(I want him to know his mother's true feelings.)

She probably could no longer notice us as she was looking down, her tear-stained lips faintly moving.

Drake's mom: "That's right, run away, Francis."

Drake: "----!"

Drake's mom: "Sorry. I'm so sorry. Since giving birth to you, I've only brought you pain."

Drake's mom: "You can hate me, but please, survive."

Drake: "Mom..."

Drake's mom: "I love you, Francis."

With words of repentance and love, she breathed her last, uttering her son's name.

(Just as I thought.)

After shouting that she shouldn't have given birth to Drake, her lips seemed to move again, saying, "I'm sorry."

Mitsuki: "Maybe your mother tried to let you escape and intentionally pushed you away because she loves you."

This was the truth hidden behind the betrayal.

Drake: "Ha...hahaha..."

Drake: "Is this even possible?"

Drake dropped to his knees, covering his face with his hands.

(Believing in something is very difficult, especially when you're consumed by sorrow and anger.)

However, feeling his pain and learning about the hope he had held deep within his heart, I felt that I could confirm it once more.

(The difficulty of believing and the strength to overcome it.)

(My encounter with him taught me that.)

I leaned my cheek against his trembling back and gently hugged him, wanting to ease the despair he had been carrying since childhood.

Drake: "Hey, Mitsuki."

Drake: "Is it okay for me to believe those words?"

Mitsuki: "Of course."

Drake's hoarse voice was both heartbreaking and precious.

Drake: "Mitsuki."

Mitsuki: "Yeah?"

Drake: "Thank you. I'm glad I could hear those words."

Drake: "You've managed to overturn things again."

Drake: "Not that I mind, though."

(Drake...)

Gently narrowing his eyes, he held my hand and smiled.

It was a calm smile, different from his usual easygoing and fearless one.

This sight was probably the real him.

(His smile has always made my heart flutter, but right now I'm even more happy.)

Drake: "Hey, Mitsuki."

Suddenly, his voice and expression turned serious.

Drake: "Loving you made me realize there's something in this world worth believing in."

Drake: "But, you know, my hatred and despair towards humans and vampires haven't completely disappeared from within me."

Mitsuki: "Yeah."

(Human emotions are not that simple.)

Even if a ray of light shines through, I don't think it can melt his frozen heart instantly.

Mitsuki: "But it's precisely because I've witnessed your despair that I want to be by your side."

Mitsuki: "I want to live together with you."

(Since he's someone who can even throw himself away, I want to be there to lighten his despair a little.)

Drake laughed as I stared at him with such hope.

Drake: "Haha! You really are a kind soul, aren't you?"

Drake: "I'm glad to hear you say that, but I'm sure you'll struggle with our incompatibility."

Mitsuki: "That's not..."

Drake: "You can't say that with absolute certainty."

Drake: "You've probably cried and suffered, knowing my betrayal and desires."

He traced my cheek with his finger, as if there were still traces of tears.

(Could it be...?)

My chest tightened in unease as I anticipated what he was trying to say.

He smiled, covering the sadness in his eyes, and continued.

Drake: "Making the woman I love cry is enough for one night."

Drake: "Besides, it wouldn't be fair if I go back and there's someone I can't just leave behind."

Drake: "It might not be enough to make up for what I've done with the guys, but I'll make sure their precious little treasure gets home safely. Then I will disappear from your life."

(........)

His gentle smile and determination made my chest ache.

(I could finally touch his heart, and yet...)

I decided not to betray this love, but...

Mitsuki: "Is that what you really want?"

Drake: "Haha! That's a sneaky question."

After letting out a smile, he held me tightly.

Drake: "I thought about kidnapping you to the end of the sea where no one could chase after us, but..."

Mitsuki: "Drake..."

Drake: "But you have your own future that you believe in."

Drake: "A future full of hope and positivity, a future I never wanted."

Drake: "That's why I can't stay by your side."

His strong embrace seemed to express that he didn't want to let go, but at the same time, it clearly conveyed that this would be our last encounter.

Drake: "Hey, Fawn, would you like to make one final bet?"

Mitsuki: "What kind of bet?"

He let go of me slightly and lifted my hand.

Drake: "The fate of this world diverges into countless futures."

Drake: "Will everything meet its demise as I wish, or is there at least one future filled with hope, as you believe?"

Drake: "It's a bet on an endless future."

(But that's...)

It's an uncertain and endless gamble that spans across time and countless futures.

(Oh, I see.)

(So, this is his way of saying goodbye.)

Drake: "If I win, I'll come to take you."

Drake: "When the world falls apart, you'll be by my side. I promise."

He confidently laughed and made an impossible promise.

I mustered my courage and also made a bold statement.

Mitsuki: "So if I win, you're mine?"

Drake: "........."

Mitsuki: "Your heart, your trust, and you. I want it all."

Mitsuki: "You'll give up your wish for destruction, live with me, and be mine alone."

(Will I take him or will I be taken by him?)

A bet where we seek each other, a bet that will never lead to a conclusion, and a promise only to engrave each other in parting.

Drake: "Haha! You're even more greedy than me, little fawn."

Drake: "Yes, your majesty, as you wish."

Drake: "When you win, you can have me."

With a tender gesture, he kissed the back of my hand.

In the hallway that spans between the past and the future, we silently gazed at each other and gently exchanged our final kiss.

---------Flashback Ends--------

Mitsuki: "After that, I parted ways with Drake on the other side of the door."

I recounted all the events that had taken place to Comte, Leonardo, and Vlad.

I told Drake's life as a Dhampir, his despair towards humans, vampires, and the world, his desire for destruction, and the existence of his companion named Galileo.

Mitsuki: "I'm sorry for being selfish."

Comte, with his fingers interlocked and listening intently, slowly nodded as though digesting my words.

Comte: "Thank you for telling us. So, you came back to the 19th century to convey all that."

Leonardo: "For Drake, the historical figures who interfere with history are not only targets of his hatred towards vampires but also crucial sources of the destruction he desires."

Comte: "So it seems that the one distorting fate is an everlasting flower, after all."

Mitsuki: "Comte, I don't think that's true. We can't predict how anyone will influence history."

Comte: "You're right. Thank you, Mitsuki."

Vlad: "I'm also wondering what the architect of the door, Galileo, was thinking when he leaped through time."

Vlad, pausing slightly, continued with a somewhat melancholic tone.

Vlad: "I used to think that dhampirs were born from the coexistence of vampires and humans striving for harmony. But even there, persecution arises. Why does the sorrow continue?"

Leonardo: "The divide between races is an eternal dilemma for not just vampires but all beings in this world."

------------Flashback-----------

Drake: "The divisions among races are the root of fear and hatred. With that alone, anyone can become as cruel as they want."

Drake: "Whether human or vampire, their essence is the same. Hatred spreads through living beings as part of their nature."

---------Flashback Ends--------

I recalled the words Drake once uttered almost dismissively.

(There are humans who fear and hunt vampires, and there are purebloods who scorn humans.)

(And in between, there are dhampirs who lose their place.)

Through the incident with the hunters and Drake's past, I have witnessed the sad circumstances in which they persecuted each other.

(It's true that differences in race can give rise to fear and hatred, but...)

Mitsuki: "It's up to us to change the future. We can change it as much as we want."

Mitsuki: "I don't believe I have the power to change fate like Drake was talking about."

Mitsuki: "Even so, if the sad fate that originally existed somewhere has changed, I think it's because we, living in the same world, aimed for a better future together."

(Like the pureblood who loves humans, like Drake and I falling in love, we can coexist beyond our races and change towards a hopeful future.)

(We just need to believe.)

Believing made me feel connected to him, even though he was no longer here.

Leonardo: "That seems like something you would say."

Vlad: "True. Even if people call it idealistic, I want to believe that."

Smiling at each other, Comte looked at me with a slightly lonely expression.

Comte: "Should we leave Drake's room as it is?"

Comte: "A pirate needs a place to come home to, yeah?"

Comte's suggestion was probably out of concern for Drake and me.

(If Drake's place remains, even if just a little, I would feel a little comforted.)

Mitsuki: "Thank you, Comte."

(But...)

Despite expressing gratitude, my heart was tightly gripped with pain.

(Drake won't come back anymore.)

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