#but hate speech? nah uh

[yelow-heart]

I've been seeing a growth on hatred towards Tubblings (Tubbo's community) in here. Aswell as some explicit hate towards Philza.

It's not a huge issue yet, but before it is: know that we don't tolerate plain hate in here and u will be reported. Tumblr HAS a report system that works.

You ARE responsible for the things you say online.

Doesn't matter if you're famous, or a public figure, or just a jane-doe. You're not just another number or comment and u will be held accountable.

Be gone trolls

[chaosandmarigolds]

Johnny's wedding speech

"An ya, okay, let's get this on." Johnny turns around on the chair he had placed in the middle of the dance floor, looking at the projector screen.

You were currently sitting beside your, now, husband, Ollie happily sitting in your lap and eyeing the man Simon considered his best friend.

"AH got it!! Okay, um, yea-yea, okay, as it says I hate you." Johnny nods as everyone falters, a few coughs and panicked looks going to you. "I really hated you when I firs heard of ya, cus me and my boy- Simon-" He paused, "Sorry I'm Johnny by th' way, Simon's bud- anyway, Simon 'n I were gettin drinks and this boy looks at me 'n he- he was all weepy bout it! Reduced my man t' tears! Goin: 'Johnny, mate, i thin' I foun' her.'"

By that point everyone had realized it was bit, and a few laughs rung out.

He runs his hand down his face, "Foun' her?? Well i gotta meet 'er myself, be the judge of it."

"For the record," he brought the mic to his mouth, his voice muffled by how close it was, "I am. I love ya, lassie. However, I do have a few bones ta pick wit ya."

"Oh, uh..." he looks back at the projector, "My bad, didn't fini' tha slide."

"YEAH! Yeah! when I firs met ya lassie you two might as well be joint at the hip already," Johnny frowns, "I call 'em like: 'Got tickets to th' game.' and he doesn't even let me finish! 'Sorry mate, me and my girl are sittin in and watching tha new Disney movie wi' Ollie.' or 'Nah, lad, my girl is wearin that dress I like." He gives an exasperated sigh to that as you bite back the urge to laugh to that. Meanwhile, Simon seemed to loosen up, leaning back in his chair with a bit of a smile.

"Anway- I have been rejected seventeen times for Bluey, yea. The cartoon wit the lil blue dog? Course I got tired of it so I jus come over...It makes sense now, Bluey's pretty cute."

Ollie seemed to get a good laugh from that.

There was a pause and Johnny nods again, "I don't hate you, lassie. You made my mate happy. Thank you."

"OH! Shoutout to my boy, Oliver."

Ollie might as well as jumped up from how fast he jolted to the sight of his 'picture' (if it could be classified as a photo from how blurry it was) and he screamed with utter glee, "I LOVE YOU UNCLE SOAP."

Johnny laughs as he gets down from the chair, "I love you too, laddie."

(I DID NOT TAKE THESE PHOTOS FYI. FOUND ON PINTREST)

(Am I just buttering y'all up fro the next installment of Eek? yes. Annyway, that's all!)

[nofingjustaninchident]

omg Leah tysm for doing this event ily. Hear me out, Jason proposing to gf!reader, when she's not really having a good day, and feels down (maybe the reason could be that her friends left her out on plans or something but it could be anything, really). But Jason just ironically makes it her best day ever with his secret sweetly planned proposal ahhh 🥹🩷

ᯓ★ id marry you with paper rings

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

pairing jason grace x daughter of poseidon!reader

summary worst. day. ever. or maybe not.

warnings nah, just fluff

authors note this one was so cute to write omggg

now listening to paper rings by taylor swift

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The day had been rough. Y/n was sitting on the couch, feeling the weight of the world pressing down on her. Her friends had, once again, gone out without her, leaving her feeling lonely and left out. Just to match, her whole week at work had been extremely bad, and now she felt like a good old piece of shit.  

The gloom settled over her like a heavy blanket, and no amount of distraction seemed to lift it. Her boyfriend, Jason, was also not home, as he had to spend most of his days at one of the camps – sometimes even both of them.  

To lift her mood a little bit, she heard the key turning on the front door, immediately bringing a smile to her lips. Jason walked into the room, smiling down at your slumped form on the couch. He was beaming with an enormous bouquet of her favorite flowers in hand.  

Unfortunately or not, he could read her like a book, and the sadness in her eyes was impossible to miss. His smile disappeared almost as fast as it came and he went straight to her, enveloping her in his embrace.  

Ever since the war ended, he’d been so afraid to lose another friend because he wasn’t strong or powerful enough to protect them, that he’d been training a whole lot harder, which made his hugs so so more comfortable. 

She shrugged, leaning into his embrace. “Just… feeling down. My friends went out without me again. I don’t know, it just sucks.” 

Jason’s heart ached seeing her like this. He hated knowing she was hurt, but he also knew he had the perfect way to turn her day around. He had been planning this for weeks, waiting for the right moment. Maybe today, despite its rough start, could end on the best note possible. 

“Hey, how about we go for a walk?” he suggested, his tone light. “Fresh air might help.” 

Y/n looked at him, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Okay, that sounds nice.” 

They both put on their jackets and headed out, Jason holding her hand firmly in his. Maybe she was a little paranoid, sure, but his hand was a little sweaty, and she could swear that he seemed a little nervous; he kept looking around as they walked, biting down on his bottom lip and often squeezing her hand. She decided to ignore 

They ended up on the beach. He put a blanket on the sand and they sat there, holding hands as they stared out at the beautiful sea. For a moment, they chatted about their days, a few jokes and stolen kisses were shared.  

Until Jason suddenly stiffened as he stared right into y/n’s eyes. “Hey, babe, I, uh... I gotta tell you something.” He said. 

Y/n raised one eyebrow at him, suddenly afraid. She hoped that it wasn’t anything bad, but she couldn't help but think about her current luck. Her friends leaving her, her favorite coworker getting fired... Jason wouldn’t leave her, too. Right? “What is it?”  

He got up, pulling her with him. She tilted her head to the side. She had absolutely no idea what to expect with that.  

Until he smiled and reached out to his pocked. She followed his hands’ movements, until he pulled a small, velvet box from his jeans. Her breath hitched, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes as she saw the scene she wanted to see for god knows how long: Jason Grace, the praetor of the Twelfth Legion, getting down on one knee.  

He looked up at her with all the love in the world as he spoke, a speech that was as engraved in his mind as the words of the Prophecy of The Seven.  

“Y/n, my love. You've been making me the happiest man on earth ever since I woke up in that bus holding your hand. Every moment we’ve spent together has been the best of my life. From the laughter we share to the challenges we’ve faced, you’ve been my rock, my joy, and my reason to smile every day. You’ve shown me what love truly means - how it’s not just about the good times but also about sticking together through the tough ones. Your strength, kindness, and endless patience never cease to amaze me. You’ve made me a better person, and I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”  

As his words started to sink in, her heart swelled with love and affection. The tears were already falling down her cheeks, and she couldn’t wait to say the words that’d change her life.  

“Y/n, you’re the light of my day and the breeze of my nights. I can’t wait to build a family with you. Would you give me the honor of accepting me as your husband?” He finally asked, smiling as never before.  

“Gods, yes!” She said, throwing herself on his arms. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! I love you so much, love you, love you so much.” She muttered into his neck, bawling her eyes out as he hugged her.  

She hadn’t seen the ring, with all the tears and the emotion that was making her mind spin. But she was sure that anything with him would be perfect.  

He pulled away to slip the ring on her ring finger. It was a tourmaline, her father’s gemstone. She looked at him with pure awe as she thought about all the times she told him how that was her favorite stone. Gods, she loved him more than she could imagine.  

And she couldn’t wait to spend her life with him.  

[shinakazami1]

Transcript of IGN Handsome Jack QnA

This thing doesn't have the whole text but - questions and some of my fav Meg-Jack interactions :^] I tried to write their speech patterns as close as possible

Transcript under the cut:

0:30: Question: Is Buttstallion the best horse ever Jack : Well it’s my horse. That I made her ( <- FACT CHECK: he bought her) out-out of diamonds, so…

0:45 Q: What it’s like wearing a face (mask - though in video it's funnily shown) J: It’s not a mask, it’s a freaking face! Do people think I’m wearing a freaking mask on my face? MEG!! I’m kidding. You’re cute tho. You know what it’s like—do you ever put a onesie on right out of the dryer? (whisper) it’s like that. (normal volume) It’s cosy. It just feels right. And a cool thing about wearing a face is – you can swap them out with however many people you kill in course of an afternoon or a week or whatever. You get off that face – you put on another one! (laughs mid-sentence) It’s fantastic. I can look at whoever. I could look like you Meg if I wanted to. I might later. Wear your face.

1:43 Q: Boxers or briefs? J: Commando!

1:50 Q: What dead celebrity would you bring back? J: Tom Cruise. (learning he is still alive) He’s not dead. Oh. Well-well let’s kill him and then I can bring him back to life or whatever.

2:10 -2:52 (Off top) J: Where did you get these pretzels Meg: From the Hyperion vending machine J: They’re delicious. (long silence) They’re good. (longer) I promise someone will clean it up – my God that’s what happens If you drink beer at lunch, people!

(….) J: Pandorian, people are dumb but loyal. M: I’m loyal sir. I’m very, very very- J: Nah, so much of this. M: Oh yes, sir.

2:15 (Answer 3:25) Q: Do people recognise your voice in public? J: I’m all over the fucking place. I’m in megaphones, I’m in-in like convenience store, vending machines so—yeah. Yeah uh, I have to say. Yeah.

3:48 Q: Favourite type of weapon? J: What do you think, Meg? M: Uhh-anything that kills, sir. J: Well, I would say Hyperion would be a good start, wouldn’t you. M: (louder, nervously) That would be a very good start. J: There you go. Smart… uh. (Awkward horrible silence he prob wanted to say ‘smart girl’ and im glad he didn’t say it cus Jesus Christ man how much cringe can you spout out of your mouth). Anything made by Hyperion and anything that and anything that inflicts, like you said. Fairness to you. The most damage possible.

4:09 Q: (person wanted a greeting for her cat Tunses) J: Hey Tunses.

4:30 Q: Which Vault Hunter do you hate the least and which the most? J: I try not to play favourites. I hate them all the same. M: They’re all pretty terribl- J: (growling) They’re all equally hateable. M: They’re all pretty terrible. (you go girl say your lines) J: Each and every one of them. M: They all want to kill you, sir. J: God I hate them so much.

(Off top) J: (soft laugh) I enjoy your company M: You would make a great voice actor, sir. J: You know I’ve heard that! Yeah yeah yeah – people tell me sh# t all the time. You know. Like : , uh- I (chuckles) get that you, babe- M: You can cook, sir?! J: I- uh, um, I, uh – yeah. I'm really quite handy in the kitchen. M: Yeah? J: Yeah. M: What do you like to make sir. J: I find it- I find it z-zens me out after coming home and washing all the blood out of my clothes.

5:25 Q: Why are you so perfect? J: I don’t know, ask my mom. (pause) You can’t – you can’t because she’s dead, I killed her – but if she was alive, you could ask my mom.

(offtop) J: (playing the game) Where is my oxygen level? M: So, your oxygen level isssss – where the hell is it? J; Come on Meg – I cannot with your (Meg breaks out laughing) you stupid little sh#t like this (they both laugh) and you’re letting me dooown. M: Oh my God I’m the worst!! J: No it’s right over (chin upfront sounding voice idk how else to call him becoming a goblin) it’s right over there, did your little brain fall out of your head, Meg? M: Sorry, should be on your map. J: (genuine soft sounding) Why am I so mean to you? M: I don’t know, sir. J: (still soft, but cool persona) AAA that’s cus of what- that’s what I do.

J: How does Handsome Jack butt slam? M: I think youuuu- J: Anyway he likes (laughs) M: (chuckles) Yes, yes, exactly- J: Joke right there. Welcome

(…) J: That’s what the hip kid say. Instead of , they say (he becomes sonic and laughs like him). Did you know that? M: No, sir J: Yeah. That’s what they do.

(…) M: (after Jack killed a few monsters) Good job! J: Thank you Meg! Thank you for being such a loyal supporter. M: Absolutely sir: J: Really appreciate you, Meg. M: You do sir??? J: Claptrap (HEEEELP THE TIMING??? WHY DOES HE SAY THIS) M: That’s great. Oh- J: I appreciate you Claptrap.

(…) J: Gotta get some things- M: Yes. J: Gotta get some uh- hopefully some grenades. I love- I love the grenades! I got to say, I’m a huge fan (starts chuckling) blowing sh#t up.

7:25 Q: Is Handsome Jack happy? J: (laughs) That’s a great question. It’s deep, isn’t it? Um, there’s a lot of smiling going on here (chuckle) but really, I’m dead inside. It seems like everything I say has just a weird connotation to it. Some kind of inappropriate connotation to it. (sincere) Did you- did you ever noticed that? M: No, sir. J: Good answer! (laughs)

(Offtop) J: Ah for f#ck sake (kills a skag) M: That’s where you’re supposed to go. J: That’s – so I got to go outside. M: Yeah, you have to go outside. J: So you were right. Before. First time for everything, Claptrap. M: Yes. Yes sir. J: Yes siiiir.

(…) M: You’re doing great, sir. J: Atta girl. (pause) I got- I got to stop saying that. (laughs) Okay (nervous chuckles continue) M: And you got another badass rank so you can use that as well. J: Oh, okay – that’s see- now that is some useful information. M: (joyful and surprised) Really?? J: Yeah!

(…) J: (Asks about a game feature. Ben, someone out of the mic, answers before Meg in a monotone voice) Why is Ben so much smarter than you. Ummm- (nervous chuckle turning into silent cry-laugh between Meg and him) M: I’m doing my best sir. J: Ay-ay.

(…) J: What the f that just happened here. That just- I just picked that and now I can-okay. M: You have- you have- you have multiple. So it-do-does it— J: Oh, you’re God, how do you make so much sense when you say things. (…) J: (talking about enemy name pronounciation) Had to do an r-roll with that criiiticic crrrretin (??? im sorry I cant hear it well 9:15 pls help ) M: That’s very – that’s very fancy, sir. J: Mmm. You know what I am? M: What are you? J: I’m so fancy. M: You’re- J: I’m schmancy. (Meg snickers) You cut that one out too, Ben. That was- that was some bullsh#t (laughs) M: You’re so fancy, we already know.

(…) J: (About game dialogue) I don’t know who that is but I find them (emphasis) extrrrRRREMELY annoying. M: Oh they are the Vault Hunters si- J: (immediately) God they’re f#cking annoying, aren’t they. M: They are really, really annoyin- J: I feel like they’re trying too hard, that’s the thing. That’s the thing that’s standing out for me here. M: Yes, I think you should kill them. J: It’s one thing to be naturally funny and then there’s another – it’s another thing to- to be like – you know what I mean like – put yourself out there too much, feel like you’re overcompensating is the world I’m looking for. M: Don’t think you have to worry about that at all. J: (smooth convo swap) You know what I’m liking the most about this game? M: What do you like- J: The lack of Claptrap. M: Oh-uh, well, he is, he’s in here, if you want to- J: Listen, that’s fine – I’m in a good mood run right now, you don’t have to ruin it byyy talking about how I’m going to run into Claptrap. M: (silence) Okay sir. I’ll be quiet, sir. (pause) Yes. (pause) OH!! There’s Claptrap (in-game) Claptrap: HELLOOO- J: Oh you little son of a b#tch. Welcome to the pit of pseudo-solid sorrows, that is some alliteration. That’s a literary term for (long sign) all you people that didn’t finish school. Meg. Arena – of, partially see-through Triumph, the Hippodrome of marginally tangible everything else. (quieter) Do that make any sense to you? M: (joyful) No sir.

(…) Axton (in-game): Is it going to be a LONG story? Gaige (in-game): Yeah, just give us the Bluff’s Notes. J: (Jack is mimicking Axton’s voice) Wait, is it going to be a loooooong story? M: Yeah, they just keep talking- J: Axton is a handsome guy. M: Kinda looks like you sir- J: A little TOO handsome, if you ask me. M: He’s not as handsome as you. J: Well- I mean (chuckles) good luck with that, right. M: I mean, he might sort of be but- J: Oi! (pause) Slow your roll, sister. All right – wait, I was too busy talking, cus I love the sound of my own voice, now the f#ck am I doing? Am I loaded for bear? (Meg is trying to talk) Oh wait- M: I feel you are. No, you’re full (on amo), oh- J: Oh yeah, okay. That’s what she said. (immediately quickly nervously) Joking there. Okay if you want to, TAKE IT MAG feel free take it. M: No, that’s- J: (forceful) TAKE the joke, MAAG. M: I-I- J: Take the joke or you’re fired, Mag – or wait actually – take the joke or I’ll set you on fire, Meg. M: (playful) That’s what she said, yeah? J: God it just-it just sounds so much better coming from you for some reason.

(…) J: I think living on the moon would kind of suck. M: Why? J: I mean uh- I mean if you had to run like this all the time, you’d think it would be more advantageous or better than uhh, running –uh, say with like, uh, gravity? M: (smacks lips) Yeah, but you can do- J: Yeah but gravity Meg, is something it’s-it’s a force of energy that keeps the- it’s the Earth and the moon create, and it keeps things on the… neverm- ff, M: That was a great explanation, sir. J: (defeated) That’s fine. M: I have no idea what the hell you just said. J: (chuckles) It’s really – it was really scientific, wasn’t it? - M: It’s a thing! J: It’s a thing with the… M: I think it’s a good place to wrap this up.

(….) J: You want to do another-another thing? M: Uhh, I don’t, I don’t think we have time to do another thing, sir. J: Is that because I’m so busy and important that I have to go do stuff that is, I have people to do, and places to see- M: You’re- J: Places to see and people- I mean, places to go, people to see, things to do. M: All that. J: Yeah. M: All that more. J: Correct (laugh) Well listen, kids, first of all – you’re welcome, because this has been a real treat. Sorry about- what was your name again? M: Meg. J: Yeah, she tries real hard but uhh- let’s face it. Uhhh I don’t know. We will see. M: Thanks. J: You still might get a retirement package out of this. M: Oh- that’s great. That’s uhh- J: But it’s been a lot of fun, will go to build homeless shelters, and, (pause and rapid speech) dig wells. M: In Africa. J: Yep. M: And by Africa, we mean Africa on Pandora. J: (giggle) Yes.

[virtualprincess10]

I hate that speech that fat people do, "Accept yourself! You're beautiful just the way u are" NAH UH YOU'RE NOT 💀💀

[spiderh0rse]

freeman's mind notes part 6, e26-30

e26

new intro scene! AMS.

wants a gnome. Does not know what he's talking about here.

would feed his gnome granola and house it in a cage

gnome agnostic

can't think of anything people other than him have done right today

still waiting for hidden treasure...

knows German

"eeeh"

a bit surprised shooting road signs is the correct action to take

you are indeed number one, buddy

i hesitate to tell gordon about the deeply ableist roots of freak shows

would attempt to headbutt a headcrab

thinks the OAR tram is just for fun

[makes banjo noises]

HATES spinning tram

should have been a pirate

e27

PIRATE EISODS PIRATE EPISODE

MECHANICAL LONGBOAT AND MUSKETS

still wants to surface

it's still his exact speech patterns hes just doing a voice and slang

repeating flintlock.......

milksops,,,,, I am just going to be repeating back his silliest words here

oh yes raid those empty boxes

MONKEYSHINES

Miniature grapeshot is pretty clever tbh

he must sound nuts to anyone who happens to survive his passing

fighting.... fighting roosters. I will not quote directly.

"there be all manner of queer beasties in this hole" very true

should that be slur count five actually???? uh.. nah. Nah.

awwww we're done already :(

e28

drops the voice. Coughs horribly

has a LONG way to go before his voice sounds like that normally

ambassador pineapple!!!!

the HECU KNOWS his NAME

SNRJJDMRKRK THEY KNLY KNOW WHO HE IS BECAUSE OF THE BEARD

immediately distrusts something convenient

looking for money in a side room

headcrab SNOT MONSTER couple in the vomitorium

"yore dead."

yeah this amount of explosives underground is unpleasant

not yet at the phase in his life where he has to double tap people

not being paranoid would kill him, he's pretty sure

frog people mentioned AGAIN

owls are very dumb beasts. They probably can't read minds

freeman please stop being ableist i beg you. i BEG

has a perfect shot on some marine that isn't in his way. Doesn't shoot at him.

has $10,000 of gold in Massachusetts.

once again I cannot recognize the language but I can only assume he's speaking Hindi here

Eddie mention AGAIN. this time about transit

curious if his suit can stop heavy caliber bullets

"ha HA" goofiest laugh I've ever heard.

humming AGAIN

Finally thinks this isn't a rescue operation

e29

lack of corpses indicates he is going to wrong way

grappling hook Longing

nitroglycerin would be insanely unstable. Not shelf stable

insists he should not be this impulsive

confused at the lack of destruction in the wake of high explosives

wants to see explosive hurdles at the olympics

today's episode brought to us by the number eight

he keeps devising more and more unsettling tram plans

would love to engage in psychological warfare

wants some PILLS.

being on a submarine wouldn't make him feel better

that is too many shotgun blasts

silly voices continue

this IS a world where not all glass is bulletproof

the military probably doesn't have object permanence yeah

wants to make ghost noises. Makes straining noises instead

worse Marco Polo yeah yeah

does sit down to listen to the marines. Kills em when they're done though

does a little jump for joy when outside

what are these noises sir

HOWLS. WOLF NOISE

e30

new intro! flashing monitor room

howl CONTINUES

thinks he can pry blast doors open

the code to the door is not "leet"

familiar with the three stooges. Thinks Mo would kill the others

climbs up to the launch bay's window instead of puzzling his way by the dynamite

does consider not killing a couple of guys that aren't in his direct path

shaken by bullets getting near his head

resolves to just kill any member of the military he comes across regardless of their intent

the microbiology department was not a controversial bunch

"if somebody's grandma is cold and she puts on a camo blanket? she's DEAD."

presses the launch button without knowing what it does

drama queen <3

"i did not leave any fingerprints. I was wearing my suit." My favourite line in the series

climbs on out of there! Climbs back down! He knows he won't survive a multiple day trek across the open desert

he's just so matter-of-fact about killing everyone. It's delightful in some way i can't put words to

he has RENOUNCED his status as KING OF THE UNDERWORLD

tram based pizza delivery system

[cuddl3s4shur1]

Infurnami~

Shuri x Scientist Fem Y/N

Note:This story was based off of the song by Steve lacy also I’m lazy af so there are so many fucking spelling or grammar errors but uh enjoy this story

Summary: Your ex shuri is your boss and all she does is pick at you today is the day to confront her about it until you realize how much you still have feelings for each other Enjoy !

Back Story

You work at the lap with queen shuri great right . WRONG. Especially when she has been your ex for a while to be exact 5 months. Why where you so mad about this because shuri is your boss .When you would get the tiniest itty bitty problem in your work Shuri would make you stay for an extra hour to fix it. This was so hard for you due to you not wanting ANY contact with her.You could tell she was picking on you a week after the break .Why because due to this one girl named Daniya who messed up big time she took and and stole vibranuim and GAVE IT TO THE USA FOR FREE.Shuri was all like “no biggie your just going to have to work more and your demoted “. BUT you know you had like a grammar error in your paper shuri had made you do .Shuri got so made she gave you a whole ass speech on why that is bad for her look . Like be so fucking for real you ain’t say that to daniya but nah you want to say it to me . You where fucking tired of her ass picking on you so you decided to talk to her .

Present Day.

You where pissed but happy today you where going to expose your boss .You where kinda iffy though due to it being your 3 year work anniversary. over all you where happy knowing your besties where going to do something hella special for it . You decided to listen to something chill for your shower . You decided to play Infurnami you loved that song but hated it .You loved the vibe but hated it do to it being the song you and shuri loved . You where overall petty like that and proud .

You started your shower off playing “Just hold on where going home “ by drake you got the scent you wanted for today . It was Midnight Amber Glow” it was so calm and suddle . You got in the shower checking the time on your phone.

You Shuffled your playlist and that’s when you concert really started .Drake got crowd hype but now it started With Infurnami by Steve lacy . You sang the song with your heart and than you vibed the whole time .You sang your heart Due to this song meaning a lot to you .Sometimes you wonder is she still felt the same way about the song like the way you do. After you “World tour” you put on lotion body butter and shea moisturizer .You checked the time 8:35 am .

All you had to do was get dressed and that was you decided to wear a tanish white top and skirt the shirt was a long sleeve sweater material and your skirt was the same material and color as your shirt and you where a long midi skirt . You whore a tan coat and tan boots with a white purse and glasses .your makeup look was so simple but cute and your hair black and 30 inches straight .after make up hair and your outfit it was 8:55. You had to go, you knew your boss was going to be hella petty when you got there . You FaceTime your two besties you work with while going to your all black jeep. “Heyyy girl you happy “my one friend Mira said. “I’m iffy I’m finna be late and you know how shuri finna be “ I say in a annoyed tone . My other friend mari talk “ she is bro “ he say in a annoyed way .”I’ll see y’all at work” they both say “k” and we hang up my music starts to play “Luv this shit” by august Alaina starts .”isn’t this the dude jayda had an entanglement with “ you question . A few songs later you make it to work .

You find your parking spot and begin to park it . You get out the car with your white purse and walk in the lab “happy 3 year y/n” you hear scattered around “thank you”. you make your way to the elevator and before it closes “Boss wanted to talk to you “ you hear muffled .Great just fucking great you wanted to talk to her not the other way around . You get off on the floor she was on .you stood right in front of her office door .Hearing muffled talking and possible music . You knock on the door hearing the possible music stop . “Come in “ Shuri said you open the door and proceed to walk in “ Oh y/n it’s you “ . “I mean yeah it’s me you called me to come hear you take off your coat and sit down “ you say sarcastically . “Yeah I did,First congrats on your 3 year “ you cut her off “thank you “ you force a smile . “Second ima going to have you stay till 9:00 pm” you cut her off again and you knew inside it triggered her “First im leaving at 1:00 and not coming back until tomorrow Second ima need you to stop picking on me” you finish your sentence. “Pick on you I do not “ shuri bluffs.“Lies,ever sense we have broke up you have been picking on me making me stay longer than others because of a small ass spelling error and not only that I could spill water and you get a whole fit it’s like you give me more attention than when we where together “ . shuri had nothing to stay she knew you where right . “Any work before I leave at 1:00 “ you say while standing up getting ready to leave .”Yeah I need some papers done by 10:30 “ shuri says while doing her favorite sitting position the man spread while leaning back . “Where are the papers “ you question her . Shuri gets some papers from her drawer and place them on the desk .You walk over to the other side of the desk to get the papers .You could tell she did this on purpose because she put them on the middle of her desk and even if you would stretch you would miss them by a inch . “Exscue me “ you say while scooching towards the middle of the desk .”you get the papers and scooch out from the desk and shuri . “Is this it ?” You ask while Turing to look at her . “Yes ,For now” you begin to turn and you got your coat from the chair and walked out if her office .You closed the door on your way out and waited before walking off .Thats when you heard You and shuris song . You started to remember the good moments.You than walk off the elevator to head to your office

Once you made it to your office you saw Decor you let up a little smile . You turned on the leds in your office and put on your do not disturb poster in your door . You Bluetooth your phone to your leds. You open Musi and click shuffle on you chill playlist . “Sorrows by Bryson Tiler” you got in the vibe.it was now 9:30 and this had to be done at 10:30.For shuri that means before 10:30 and not exact 10:30 . You listen to many songs and you finished at 10:25 .

You begin to get the papers in a stack and pick them up.You than get out of your office and walk to the elevator.You hear the ding and begin to walk to shuris office when getting close still hearing the song. Without knocking you open the door . “Why are you listening to are song on repeat “ you ask demanding an answer .You walk over to the desk and place the papers down.Shuri begins to pause the song .”I can explain y/n I promise “ shuri said hesitantly “Than what is it then why do you listen to are song on repeat and keep pick on me”Shuri gets up while You’re talking You begin to feel her hands on your waist. You want to pull her off but you miss this feeling .”I connect with the lyrics he’s right I was blind to see that my love is right here “ shuri says while hugging you “I miss you shuri but we can only fix are old issues if we communicate.

“Can we go out to eat and talk about this “ shuri asks

“My place 9:30 ,see you soon doll” you tell shuri seductively

[itwasthereaminuteago]

|| All My Hours ||

Frank Castle x Matt Murdock

Tags/warnings: NONE, JUST FLUFF!

WC ~ 600

A/n: this wee blurb is for the TFC February challenge with the prompt "Well, I did not picture spending my Valentines Day in jail". 💕☺️

Matt took another long draw from his almost-done beer and felt for his watch. 20:30… It wasn't like Frank to be late without letting him know in advance, still, he wasn't worried.

Yet.

Around a minute or so later his phone rings out announcing an unknown number, and it's Frank's sheepish voice that he hears over the speaker.

"Hey, s'me. Can you uh, do me a favour? I'm down at the station."

Matt easily picks up the noise in the background. "The… police station?"

"Uh… yeah. Can you meet me?" he answers.

"Christ, yeah, okay."

When Matt gets to the police station Frank is sitting on the bench in a holding cell. There's a light floral fragrance in the air floating over the top of the general must and stank of the busy precinct. And the unmistakeable scent of blood.

"Thanks for comin'."

"Hey," Matt says, tilting his head curiously, "are you hurt?"

"Nah, m'fine." Frank gruffly replies, getting to his feet. "Fuck, I'm sorry…"

Matt can feel the guilt rolling off him through the bars. "Alright. Well, just tell me what happened."

He clears his throat, pacing around like a flighty animal. "I was on my way over, and there was this other guy there at the flower stand, and he says to me, 'you buyin' those for your boyfriend?', and so I said yeah. Then the sonofabitch said something else that I ain't repeating but he'll be regretting for a good while cos I hit that fuckhead, and uh, someone must'a called the fuckin' cops over it… and well, shit, here we are."

"So you punched the guy?" Matt presses gently, ready and patient for Frank's familiar hotheaded brand of reasoning.

"Yeah, only twice though. You can ask the vendor. He deserved much more than that, and anyway, it was provoked."

"Yeah, he's at the desk holding what's left of his nose in a tissue."

Frank shrugs. "I told you, it coulda been worse."

Matt swipes a hand over his face and through his hair and licks his lips. This wasn't the time for a lecture, not that it would do any good anyway. "Okay. Just gimme a minute and I'll go talk to him."

Frank nods and sits back down hanging his head a little.

Matt returns after about fifteen minutes with a station officer to let Frank out, along with the news that the guy had dropped the charges against Frank.

"He realised he didn't have a leg to stand on, discriminatory hate speech and all." Matt explains.

Frank nods. "Thanks, I did not picture spending Valentine's day in jail…."

Matt chuckles, "Neither did I but, can we rewind just a bit… you bought me flowers and defended my honor on Valentine's day?"

Frank looks away, dipping his head and scratching at the short hairs on the back of his neck self-consciously. "Uh yeah, I guess I did… but then I was late for dinner and dragged your ass down here for me." His gaze flits back to Matt's face. "You mad I ruined it?"

Matt shakes his head softly as he reaches for Frank's wrist, guiding him closer to his body. "C'mere." he says, cuffing his other hand round the back of Frank's neck and pulling him in so he can kiss him on the lips, a slow but passionate kiss that takes the other man slightly by surprise.

"C'mon, let's go home you big sap, I can reheat dinner." Matt chirps.

Frank lets out a laugh, the tension leaving his body as he hands him the slightly wilted bouquet. "D'you like em?" He asks nervously as they exit the station and step out into the chill night air, their fingers intertwined.

Matt smiles. "Yeah I do, definitely worth punching a guy in the face for."

[senka-mesecine]

Not to be horny on main (again) but thoughts on the boys and what they think of eating out their partner?

---

― Chris probably learned about it in the army and hilariously enough through one of the boys in the Underworld teasing him about not knowing and never having done it by giving an apt demonstration on some sort of fruit, being simultaneously the most inherently homoerotic way someone can get introduced to, for lack of a better descriptor, eating pussy, and also the most painfully straight one. Slightly sheltered, suburban boy that he is, somehow, it always seemed so blatantly clear someone can do that to a woman all while being wholly a novelty to him because it only ever clicked inside of his head as a possibility once someone else pointed it out. It's not that Taylor loves it or hates it, but it shook and rocked his world, just about. He is something of a changed man after this.

― O'Neill undoubtedly oscillates between bragging about his love making prowess to great excess even though nobody asked and flaunting his supposed macho first of authority by proclaiming no self respecting guy would ever do that. Maybe those potheads --- but not O'Neill, baby! Nah-uh! Like, he can and does flaunt these highly conflicting stances interchangeably depending of who he's talking to and what image he wants to present right this very instant, the actual truth being Red probably loves eating out more than he loves blowjobs any given day of the week --- genuinely a controversial stance to have in a platoon of burly men as such, he occasionally needs to paint himself as a hater of oral sex to the degree it's almost slightly suspicious. Like he's overcompensating. And he is.

― Bunny talks about eating pussy constantly, I think. Seems like it would be this guy's whole staple of comedy, small talk, anecdotes and just about something he peppers into every more casual conversation even though ---- and here's the catch ---- he's never actually done it. Not out of a lack of trying, that's for sure, but it's almost a collectively accepted notion that whoever lets Bunny down there might as well brace themselves for being bitten --- somehow feels like a mocking, taunting jab Junior would come up with. The genuine crux of the matter is that Bunny is probably, for all his foul mouth and perversions, too young to having had accumulated that much experience so most of the lascivious things he fantasizes go on mainly in his mind. He's bracing himself for the day it happens, though, like he's bracing for a holiday.

― So, okay, Rhah thinks eating pussy is just good manners. Something any self respecting lover should do if they wanna call themselves a lover in the first place; he's probably the guy who sat Chris down in the first place and gave him a very descriptive guide on how to do it, a comprehensive detail on female anatomy, the pleasure zones, what women like and what they don't and he did this with so much gusto and oratory skill that listening to the speech would probably either make anyone listening blush or inherently turned on. Rhah's done it countless times and it's undoubtedly one of the things he most keenly misses from back in the world. He's probably the same guy who'd give any learning acolyte the warning not to let what those Jezebels have between their legs get to their heads because then they'll be truly lost.

― If Rhah is the one giving out lessons of the practical, verbal kind like he's some sort of wannabe Shakespeare guiding the young and the innocent towards undiscovered knowledge, King might downright be the dude holding the, say, peach, after a couple of blunts as he gives an actual demonstration intended for poor Chris because yeah, you guessed it, King is another man who adores eating pussy and he can't understand people who either haven't or don't like to. Something basically wrong with that. There's really individuals out here denying themselves happiness? Unbelievable. He straight up thinks the world would've been a better place if everyone did the same way he's convinced that this sheltered nature is a trait the rich have because they're too stuck up to get they faces down there.

― Wolfe almost comes off like precisely the type of man King was talking about when he said the well off are too stuck up to get down to action. Because yes, that's Lt. Mark Wolfe to a certain degree, even though I'd expand --- it's not that he's too stuck up for oral sex and being the giving party but he is actually too tight laced. The boys in the barracks might be talking about something slightly suggestive and even him attempting to relate to them by telling an awkward sex joke could very easily fall flat on its face with all the secondhand embarrassment in the world because nobody thinks of Wolfe as a lover however much the man might try. I think he enjoys the concept of offering pleasure and being in control of it but is actually inherently so square toed he often talks himself out of the prospect.

― Elias thinks of eating pussy in the most overromanticized, flowery terms imaginable and he has done so all of his life; he'll talk about it like it's the fruit straight out of Eden's garden before the fall. Man not only has a high, exalted opinion of the act itself and a very open one at that, he is also convinced showing love in that regard is necessary. It's good for the partner in question and it's good for him making her feel good and feeling good is good enough. That's like the cornerstone of his whole philosophy. A belief him, Rhah and King downright share. Throw boys like Crawford in there for good measure. In fact, if I had to single out a sex-act Elias undoubtedly prefers most in life it's certainly something in the vein of eating his partner out because nothing comes as close as that in his eyes.

― You'll never hear a peep about the subject from Barnes --- if specifically asked in a casual setting with smokes, cards and drinks involved, at best, one will get a long, hard stare out of him that immediately closes the topic without a single word uttered; what he does, what he likes to do, how he likes to do it --- it's an issue so personal people don't even dare to inquire on it too much, because in equal measure, even the men inside of his own camp that support him get a little iffy and fidgety just imagining him in any sexual situation. It's alien and weird. Like visualizing a praying mantis eating their mate alive. Does he like it, though? Yeah. Is he good at it? Yeah. Does he make a show out of it? No. He might be of the opinion that bragging about fucking is a trait people who ain't good at not much else (including said fucking) lean on to cover their asses.

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Karkat Vantas

Meat, page 32

DAVE: yo

DAVE: love to chat but im kinda in the middle of something

ROXY: yo yourself but this is important

DAVE: uhhh

DAVE: more important than salvaging the global economy from potential disaster??

DAVE: sounds hugely unlikely

ROXY: idk about that

ROXY: in terms of scale and relativity and stuff maybe not

ROXY: its actually kinda hard to tell

ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things

ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap

ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro

DAVE: a nap you say

DAVE: well this changes the fuck out of everything

ROXY: yea??

DAVE: nah

ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this

ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him

DAVE: uh no

ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight

ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....

ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??

DAVE: thats weird

DAVE: since when does he give a fuck about them

ROXY: idk

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

ROXY: he usually knows stuff about weird things

DAVE: so whats wrong with her again

DAVE: like

DAVE: some sort of demonic nap

ROXY: ok i wouldnt say shes NAPPING per se

ROXY: shes just like

ROXY: floatin here... upright

ROXY: eyes wide open

ROXY: and theyre both pitch black

DAVE: oh so she saw one of my latest sbahj campaign ads

ROXY: lol

ROXY: no dude

ROXY: like what im sayin is

ROXY: she looks a lil possessed

ROXY: by uh

ROXY: grim spirits n shit

DAVE: is she fucking grimbark again

ROXY: no!

ROXY: this isnt grimbark

ROXY: i KNOW what grimbark is dave this aint it

ROXY: it seems more serious tbh??

ROXY: like existing in some transformative state that isnt a literal fuckin joke

DAVE: ok yeah this does sound pretty bad

DAVE: but its not really my field

DAVE: did you try calling rose

ROXY: yea that was totes my original plan

ROXY: like no offense ur not #1 on my speed dial when it comes to this kinda thing

ROXY: but rose isnt picking up

ROXY: probly on account of ailments to be fair

ROXY: i called an unruly number of times

ROXY: and kan wasnt picking up either so...

DAVE: huh

DAVE: spooky

ROXY: hella spooky

ROXY: somethin about all this seems wrong

DAVE: yeah i guess

DAVE: what do you think is up

ROXY: idk

ROXY: i feel like theres something movin just out the corner of my vision but every time i turn to look at it

ROXY: its gone

ROXY: its givin me chills rn like im being watched

DAVE: well im no fucking ace detective

DAVE: or some gumshoe flatfoot dicking up the place suckin hard on my sherlock pipe like some sleuth of the fucking year

ROXY: dave

DAVE: but maybe we should consider the possibility that you are literally being watched

ROXY: ..............

DAVE: anyway can we hold that wise and rad thought i just had

DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support

DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us

DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives

DAVE: so we gotta like

DAVE: concentrate here?????

DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives

DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)

ROXY: oh

ROXY: jakes on ur side then?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: wasnt that hard to convince him after your girl j crock started slut shaming him on public access

ROXY: god dammit jane

DAVE: so i take it jade didnt convert you to our cause before going into her gothic trance fugue or whatever

ROXY: siiigh

ROXY: i just want this whole stupid political thing over n done with tbh

ROXY: i hate watchin u guys tear each other apart in the news

DAVE: yeah sorry about that

DAVE: sorry its making you feel bad i mean

DAVE: not sorry that were doin it

DAVE: itd be an unconscionably lame move to put something on a billboard that i didnt 100% stand by

DAVE: but that sounds suspiciously like something jane would do

DAVE: aka the bad guy in this situation

DAVE: like objectively speaking

ROXY: ugh pls dont start

DAVE: just sayin

ROXY: idgAF!!!

DAVE: also

DAVE: aside from how vehemently i disagree with every detail in janes shitty platform

DAVE: i also think

DAVE: karkats the right guy for the job

DAVE: full stop

ROXY: you rly believe in him dont u

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: of course i do

DAVE: because i...

ROXY: hey before you jet can i ask you another question

ROXY: theres somethin else ive been meanin to ask u about for a while

DAVE: uh alright shoot

ROXY: yea soooo

ROXY: dave how did you come out

DAVE: ...

DAVE: what?

ROXY: like as not being straight

ROXY: howd you couch that to ppl w/o them freakin out or being awkward around u

ROXY: do u think its ever too late to

ROXY: idk

ROXY: change ur mind?

ROXY: about the person you wanna be??

ROXY: like is there a some point of no return you can cross where everyone is waitin for u to have a big ass revelation about your internal character

ROXY: but its like “dude no u already used up all ur gay capital when u started datefriend cohabitating w a cute as hell skeleton alien”

ROXY: and anything after that ur just gettin greedy

ROXY: is greedy even the right word

ROXY: greedy for droppin bombshells

ROXY: bout gender identities and sexual preferences

ROXY: or ids n preffies as i like to call em ;)

DAVE: ids n preffies

DAVE: damn

DAVE: thats fucking good

DAVE: anyway uh

DAVE: thats a pretty deep question considering all the shit we have going on right now

ROXY: yeah ur right

ROXY: now is probs not the best time for a feels jam

ROXY: especially with the creepy jade situation happening on my couch here

DAVE: i dunno if id worry too much about that

DAVE: jade goes into trances literally all the time

DAVE: she fucking loves sleeping

DAVE: youd think someone who spent so much of her life locked in a state of dubiously consensual slumber would wanna get as few zees as possible in her adult life but not jade

DAVE: ive never known anyone who hits the snooze button more times in a row than her

DAVE: if youre that worried take her to a hospital

ROXY: im thinkin about it!!

ROXY: not even sure if i wanna like

ROXY: mess with her tho?

ROXY: how would i even take her there...

DAVE: ok well while you ponder whether you wanna dump jade in a wheelbarrow and trundle her groggy spooked-up ass to the hospital

DAVE: in the meantime ill rap at you about my epiphany concerning the desire to bone some dudes

DAVE: probably not a literal rap though

ROXY: wow im disappointed

DAVE: i mean i could TOTALLY rap about wanting to bone dudes if i wanted?

DAVE: im just on the fuckin clock here and theres lots of people lookin at me

ROXY: :(

DAVE: ok so

DAVE: what ive learned is

DAVE: coming to terms with all this bullshit is a thing you sort of do in stages

DAVE: like stage one is you making jokes about how sweaty dudes standing close together in tv shows seems really gay

DAVE: stage two is making jokes about that and not immediately adding no homo afterward

DAVE: stage three is flirting with all your male friends ironically and not even thinking about adding no homo afterward because youre so fuckin woke and secure in your ironclad straight masculinity that you dont have anything to prove to anybody anymore

DAVE: or thats just what you say out loud

DAVE: inside you start being like

DAVE: oh shit

DAVE: maybe yes homo

DAVE: stage four is freaking out about that and putting the no homo back on all your statements even objectively heterosexual ones which just stupidly makes everything you say sound extra gay

DAVE: stage five is

DAVE: actually wait the next few stages are various permutations of the same thing that i already described

DAVE: it starts being like a gay fractal

DAVE: anyway eventually you arrive at like stage nine

DAVE: which is reminding everyone who will listen that youre gay minimum six times a day

DAVE: in really lame ways like

DAVE: oh cool dude are you making hot pockets

DAVE: better make mine a gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause im a gay homosexual who only consumes homo ass snacks delivered right to my mouth by a big queer butler

DAVE: servin it right up on his huge gay dick

DAVE: but that all only applies to the extent which i am technically gay

DAVE: which in my case is only about maybe 30% to 70%

DAVE: so only cook 30% to 70% of my gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause you know straights are fucking animals who never defrost their pepperoni

DAVE: and i gotta rep for that like 50% straightness still lurking inside me like the idiot who fell asleep in the shopping mall when it was closing for the night

DAVE: so now theres just this straight dude locked in a dark fucking mall for some stupid reason haunting the place like a cryptid and rummaging through the trash in the food court

DAVE: also just in case janes opposition research is listening in on their illegal wiretap i know the word bisexual exists btw im just choosing not to use it in service of spitting some fuckin chuckle jokes here so lets all calm down and not let this one become a distressingly literal federal issue

DAVE: anyway when all is said and done

DAVE: you eat a half cooked hot pocket because all your roommates think the height of humor is taking what was obviously an improvisational riff at unironic face value to punk you

ROXY: dave...

DAVE: what

ROXY: nm

ROXY: i was gonna ask you why ur like this

ROXY: then i remembered about how ur half me and half dirk

DAVE: yeah it really is crazy how those dope late game familial reveals actually did explain everything

ROXY: so whats stage ten

DAVE: stage ten is uhhhhhhhh

DIRK: The Prince opens his fucking mouth, and just literally starts SAYING SHIT, out loud, because he doesn’t think he can take another fucking second listening to a pompous alien virgin monologuing about gender.

DIRK: No consequence, my ass. You may be able to suppress what I do with my mind, but you have no control over my mouth. I’m nobody’s fucking puppet.

DIRK: And you don’t even know my friends. They’re not yours to toy with.

DIRK: They’re mine.

DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?

DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to

DIRK: Yeah, well. Try and stop me then.

DIRK: I fucking dare you.

DIRK: Here I go. I’m walking up the tower stairs now.

DIRK: Walk, walk, walk. Ah, the exercise feels good.

DIRK: Argh. Wow, yeah.

DIRK: You’re right. My feet are definitely getting heavy.

DIRK: But the Dead Cherub tragically underestimates the Prince’s determination. He powers the fuck through it. See?

DIRK: Stomp, stomp, stomp. Up the stairs he goes. No fucking sweat.

DIRK: Oh also, did he mention? He can fucking fly, so there’s that.

DIRK: He decides to take flight and cut to the chase. He whips up the hollow vertical shaft at the center of the spiraling tower stairs. Life in the fast lane kicks ass, it turns out.

DIRK: He can practically taste the top of the tower.

DIRK: The Prince busts out his sword and makes short work of that big old bell.

DIRK: The slicing is accompanied by the ear-shattering melodic sounds of metal being cleaved apart by an anime sword, as the Prince nimbly avoids the sharp pieces and ricocheting stair debris.

DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?

DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”

DIRK: Sure you do.

DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion

DAVE: theres lots of layers

DAVE: they suck on pizza

DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them

DAVE: this goes for gender stuff too btw

DAVE: which i kinda get the feeling is what you were actually asking about

ROXY: wow am i rly that transparent?

DAVE: nah but as previously discussed youre a lot like me

DAVE: so it was pretty easy to figure out what you were getting at

ROXY: yea

ROXY: i dont got ur poker face tho

ROXY: but im workin on that!

ROXY: maybe ill get a sick pair of shades too

DAVE: oh DOPE

DAVE: yeah thats dope i support that idea

DIRK: I’m on top of the tower now. I’ve got my long sniper rifle ready and everything.

DIRK: I check to see if it’s loaded. It is. I get in the PERFECT spot for taking aim at this hunky imbecile who’s about to give a speech.

DAVE: anyway i dont think any of our friends are gonna hold your feet to the flames over dumb shit like this

DAVE: and its not like anyone else is gonna care since we definitely forgot to program hating gays and women into earth c

DAVE: humans are all jacked up on hating xenophiles now

DAVE: which sucks a lot too dont get me wrong

DAVE: btw did you know janes a xenophobe

ROXY: dave!!!

DAVE: ok ok

DAVE: so does all this mean i gotta call you dad now or what

ROXY: wat

DAVE: i mean thats what were talkin about right

ROXY: well first of all

ROXY: do u still even make a habit of callin me mom??

ROXY: i thought u kinda stopped that

ROXY: even if it was effin cute

DAVE: oh yeah i guess i did

DAVE: but i could start again

DAVE: but not if it means id have to go to fucking gender jail or something

DAVE: like what i mean is i could start that cute shit again but switch to dad

ROXY: ok but SECOND of all

ROXY: i would never want to deprive dirk of that noble honorific

DAVE: what

DAVE: ugh no way

ROXY: hahaha yeah way hes ya daddy dude!

DAVE: aw fuck noooo

DAVE: wow man

DAVE: i would never call him that

DAVE: i mean i know its true but i just wouldnt...

DAVE: wait

ROXY: what

DAVE: something feels

DAVE: wrong

ROXY: ???

DAVE: like some shits about to go down

DAVE: and i gotta...

DAVE: karkat! dude!!!

DAVE: GET DOWN!

KARKAT: WHAT?????

DIRK: You’re absolutely right.

DIRK: I would never do that.

DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.

DIRK: You do understand me pretty well, I’ll give you that. And you’re right about many things.

DIRK: But there are just a couple things you’re wrong about.

DIRK: Pretty important things, actually.

DIRK: First of all, this gun is loaded.

DIRK: But not with bullets.

DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.

DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.

DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.

ROXY: hellooooooo

ROXY: dave??

ROXY: whered ya go

DIRK: No, that’s not what he does.

DIRK: He swings the rifle around one hundred eighty degrees, and points the scope toward the large, now-curtainless window of a distant apartment.

DIRK: He zooms in quickly, cutting even shorter the little time that the Dead Cherub could use to impede him in some way.

DIRK: He takes aim, lets his finger hover over the trigger, and...

DIRK: Ow!

DIRK: Yeah, you got me. Can’t move it an inch.

DIRK: The only problem is, he doesn’t need to pull that trigger.

DIRK: Earlier, when he was messing around with all this shit in plain view, he rigged the rifle to be voice-operated.

DIRK: All he needs to do is say...

DIRK: FIRE.

DIRK: I see. So you’re not going to say what happens next?

DIRK: Is that really how it’s gonna be?

DIRK: So be it.

DIRK: The tranquilizer dart hits the glass of Roxy’s apartment window before the sound from the rifle’s shot even reaches them.

DIRK: She hears the glass break. Seconds later, she hears the bang. She drops her phone on the floor.

DIRK: She doesn’t have the slightest idea what just happened until she looks over at Jade and notices the dart stuck in her neck, right in the jugular vein.

DIRK: She watches as Jade’s huge, creepy black eyes start getting heavy. Her eyelids sag, and her head tilts to the side.

DIRK: She shuts her eyes completely. Her hair stops floating around her ominously. In fact, there’s nothing ominous about her at all anymore. She entirely resumes her status as the cute doggy girl we all know and love.

DIRK: She slumps over and collapses onto the couch. She begins snoring loudly while making a little canine whimper on each exhale.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

DIRK: Oh, what’s that? You’re getting a little quiet for some reason.

DIRK: You’re going to have to speak up.

DIRK: Aaand, nope.

DIRK: You’re getting quieter, not louder. You’re gonna need to work on that.

DIRK: Maybe try shouting it?

DIRK: Yeah, I didn’t catch that at all.

DIRK: Not even one syllable.

DIRK: Guess that’s it for you? Back to not mattering.

DIRK: Not that you ever did.

DIRK: Come to think of it, why am I still talking out loud?

[aggressivewhenstartled]

Ho lee shit, Twitter.

Side note: Get ready for a crazy mishmash of links for all of this, because this was wild enough I wanted a wide array of sources.

So apparently Elon Musk got in shit for being nice to Russian propaganda machines, and is trying to ‘Well actually’ his way out of it by calling the BBC, NPR, and other public media "State-affilliated". When folks complained, he amended it to "state-funded," which isn't exactly an improvement. In case you're not sure why these labels matter:

So then NPR basically decided "You know what asshole? Fuck you. We get more interaction with your competitors anyway," and broke up with Twitter.

What in depth research and planning went into Elon's decisions, you ask?

He just wanted to be fair! "The operating principle at new Twitter is simply fair and equal treatment, so if we label non-US accounts as govt, then we should do the same for US".

Even though Twitter’s policy already cited NPR and the BBC as specific examples BY NAME of media this label does not apply because they have independent control over what they publish.

If you're the type who checks citations, you might notice I actually, for real, cite Fox News, holy shit. Go to the article and read and marvel, because look. When Fox News is carefully, factually supportive of NPR in a dispute, the other side should maaaaaybe take a good hard look at themselves.

And to be fair, Fox does have a...less supportive article with a title about how NPR "quit twitter in anger" that says NPR isn't independent because they didn't cover a story about Hunter Biden's laptop in 2020 I guess?

Didn't get them special treatment from Twitter, though.

Maybe it's because even in the bitchy article, even Fox points out that NPR doesn't really get a lot of funding from the government.

Nah, I'm kidding, it's because Elon fired or lost everyone who had any knowledge about any of this a long time ago.

But hey! He chatted with the BBC about it and decided it was super useful to get feedback on what they could do better! You know. After the fact. On an interview? In which he also got whiny about people saying there was more hate speech on Twitter recently because nuh-uh, prove it. But he did change his mind about the propaganda thing!

In all of this, though, credit where credit's due. There's one thing Elon has gotten absolutely, completely right.

[cursedzucchini]

Like Bruce Wayne but stronger - chapter 1

So this is something really fucking dumb.

This is basically Bruce Wayne x oc, but the oc is basically Bruce Wayne but w more kids, more emotionally mature and with own set of problems. It's also pure crack, so..

Uh this is the first chapter i wrote and i made a poll if i should post this here, since i know I've been posting only dp x DC, but tbh it was dumb decision. Like the poll is right, this is my own account.

In this one, I'm going with duke being the last to be adopted, since I'm not familiar with Harper or other potential b's kids. Also the timeline is Jason is kinda ok w his fam rn, it's just sorta awkward, and everything is pretty ok.

Alright enjoy!!

Maybe Bruce would’ve enjoyed events like these more if he didn’t take his kids along.

Yes, he wouldn’t be thrilled to attend, but maybe it would still be more tolerable than a fight with Bane for example. Rich talentless assholes giving other rich talentless assholes awards for doing nothing, would never be on the top of his list of likes, but still better than getting the shit beaten out of him.

With his kids there though? He’d rather have emotionally open conversation than this hell.

“Hey, hey B, I think you might win this award!” Stephanie (and she wasn’t even his kid (legally. Emotionally though? That was a different story), and who even invited her?) whispered gleefully. Duke choked down his laughter, just as the rest of the gaggle unapologetically started laughing. Bruce could see the other guests glancing at them, disgust and curiosity mixing in their faces. He really wished he could take back his decision to extend the invitations to his whole family.

The moderator, with no knowledge of this torture going on, continued with his speech “…and even if none of the winners won’t be able to pick up their price, we will donate the money to charity. So please give a big round of applause for the Gotham's most unstable” he paused, to give the moment more suspense, and damn it, why did they have to change the categories this year? “Red Robin!”

Bruce really hated, that for a moment, he really thought it might be him. Jason (and wasn’t it surprise that even he turned up) was already teasing Tim, as the rest tried to quiet their laughter as to not catch even more attention than they already did. It didn’t help the host continued with several stories which only confirmed the audiences vote.

This year the Gotham’s Best decided to change some categories. That seemed like a great idea, especially when most of the categories were poking fun at the guests, right until his kids started pointing out how most of the categories about… unstable people would probably be won by Bruce if the truth about him was known.

It didn’t help the moderator was making it very easy to make fun of the guests. It was obvious he was there for the people watching from their homes and not to cater the rich how amazing they are.

At first Bruce wasn’t even complaining, his kids were happy, they were having good time… but after three hours of relentless bullying, he had enough.

“And now, for the last category of the evening!” the host’s words gave him the hope he almost lost. Maybe he could survive this with only few more insults and then finally go somewhere, where his children won’t reach him “And this one is going to be surprise even for me folks!” the moderator winked at the camera.

A woman in beautiful red dress walked across the podium to give the host an envelope. That unfortunately gave his children time to chat “You think it’s gonna be the biggest emo?”

“Nah I bet it’s gonna be the best rated goon in Gotham. I hope Bill’s gonna get that one”

“It’s gonna be who adopted the most children”

“Oh my god, what if it was—”

The host answered Bruce’s prayers and continued talking, his eyes glued to the envelope “Well, well, well, we are having a truly special category” he looked back at his audience, a special gleam in his eyes, reminding the billionaire way too much of his children’s “I know all of you are very tired, so without further ado; the last category of this year is-”

“Gotham’s Best Adopter with the highest count of adopted children!”

Bruce took it all back, he wanted to die.

The whole room turned towards him and his gaggle, and he couldn’t help but wish he didn’t take all of his children. There weren’t any of the usual categories he won, and Gotham’s Best wasn’t Gotham’s Best without at least one award being won by him. He should’ve expected this.

Fuck.

His children obviously took this better than him, given their laughter and choked out ‘Tim how did you know-’. Bruce wished he could share their joy.

“Now, I understand we all have one particular person in mind who could win this one, but let’s not be too hasty in our judgement” the host continued, ignoring how most of the attention stayed on the Waynes “But more about this category! There were several conditions that had to be fulfilled in order to qualify” The moderator unknowingly gave Bruce hope. Maybe he was disqualified somehow…?

“First none of the children had to die by fault of the parent” the giggles quieted a little, only Jason kept laughing, even if little forcefully. He quickly signed ‘B still qualifies, didn’t die because of him’ and oh. He didn’t blame him for his death (even if it was his fault. He should have never make Jay the Robin. He should had-)

“Second of all, their criminal record can’t have a murder nor any other heavy crime in the time of taking care of the children” the host continued “and lastly all the children still have to be in contact with the parent!” his smile had become a little manic at this point, and Bruce was starting to worry about a potential rogue. He definitely had the love for drama (but so did he and his family, so maybe he was going to end up vigilante).

The moderator started eagerly opening the envelope “And I am sure all of us cant wait for the big reveal, and I do not plan on making you wait any longer” he took out a folded paper “Gotham’s Best Serial Adopter is…” his eyes hungrily took in the contents of the paper…

“The fuck is this bullshit?” the moderator was frowning. Bruce quickly shook of the surprise of someone swearing on live television and tried finding out what was wrong. The producers were waving at the host to continue talking, but he ignored them, instead turning the paper in his hands. When he didn’t find anything he looked at them, haughty frown on his face.

“I mean yeah sure, Brucie Wayne adopted few kids, but I know someone who adopted so many more”

What.

The crushing despair at him actually being the one who supposedly won, was quickly replaced by elation (maybe he didn’t win after all), which in turn was replaced by umbrage. Which he promptly locked inside his Box of Emotions we Do Not Touch. He was not feeling offended by someone insinuating someone adopted more children than he had. That would be absurd, childish and weird.

The producers, in a moment of Bruce’s weakness, managed to get on the stage and were now arguing. The hall started filling with whispers, which unfortunetly gave his children a chance to start talking “Y’all think this is B’s soulmate?” Dick asked innocently, which made the rest of the group start giggling uncontrollably.

Bruce tried to ignore them, but when Damian turned to him with a serious expression and asked him to not ‘unite with the other’ because he ‘did not need any more idiotic siblings’, he gave up and put his head in his hands. If this was any other situation he would laugh along with them, because Damian making jokes was so rare, but. But.

His moment of despair was interrupted by the host finally addressing the disbelieving crowd “It seems that the management forgot not only rich folks exist and didn’t check if there wasn’t anyone with more children. That being said, sorry Brucie, no award for you this year! Instead I will reveal the true winner in about a half hour, when the program will continue” he bowed and walked out of the stage, already taking out his phone and making a call.

Bruce almost didn’t remember to make a dumb happy go lucky smile and shrugging as if saying ‘well what can you do’ for the cameras, so lost in his own thoughts. The producers surprisingly approved of this change, which means the other ‘serial adopter’ had to have at least two more children than himself. Given there are some rumors about him adopting Stephanie and Damian not being his blood son and actually just being adopted, you could add another two, which means… they have to have at least nine children. He had not heard about anyone of the other guests adopting any children, meaning it has to be someone probably from middle or low class. Taking into account they had adopted at least nine children and given the average Gothamite living in the middle class makes enough money to take care of two children maximum without any very shady business.

But considering the moderator said they will be here in half an hour, they can’t live or work that far from here. The problem is, the place is surrounded by low class establishment and surprisingly close to Crime Alley. And while it is possible they don’t work or live close to this hall, it is highly unlikely. Though one of the rules was no heavy crime committed while children were under the care of the parent, thus, if we go with the theory of the parent being low class, making the amount of children they take care of at once, without being in any major criminal operation, one. Considering this, it is possible the person, who won the award, is very old, and having more time than Bruce to adopt children, making their victory only logi-

“Yo B are you seriously making theories on how did someone adopted more kids than you?” Jason started laughing when he saw his expression “My god, you actually are- why did no one told me these events were this hilarious?” Bruce couldn’t help the smile making his way on his face. He really wanted to continue being disgruntled, but Jay talked to him. Maybe this event wasn’t such a pain in the ass.

“He probably came to the conclusion the winner is a grandpa” no, wait, it still was. The boisterous laugher of the children reminded him of that. He grunted, already turning towards the podium, before realizing something.

Slowly turning towards his middle child, Bruce could see his other children also noticed the inconsistency. Good. “’Grandpa’?” he asked, already categorizing Tim’s panicked expression quickly forming into something more neutral, yet still nervous.

Tim coughed into his hand “I might have an idea on who it is, that’s all” he was trying his best not to make eye contact with any of them, failing on appearing unaffected by his family’s unnerving staring “Listen it’s just a guess, I’m probably wrong anyway” he tried waving them off unsuccessfully.

And just as Bruce was about to ask another question, the host returned “Thank you all so much for waiting! Now that everything is in order, let’s finish this!” his eyes were positively glowing, and damn, Bruce was going to have to check if he wasn’t a meta later “Now the Gotham’s Best serial adopter is…” the billionaire couldn’t help but lean closer, as if that would speed up the moderator “Poppy Meadows!”

A man was pushed onto the stage. He slowly made his way towards the host, who was grinning and clapping. He was also the only one, before Bruce and his children joined. That jolted the other guests into actions as they too clapped, although not very loudly. To be honest he couldn’t blame them this time. He also, illogically, expected someone he knew and not… a normal middle aged man (and didn’t that disprove half of his theories. He could be around Bruce’s age, maybe even younger).

(Bruce ignored his children’s comments about how ‘he looks like Bruce’s tired dad look personified omg’ and ‘yo he’s around b’s age, should we really be worried they join forces and become the ultimate dad??’)

The camera’s showed every hole in the well-worn gray sweater, every misplaced hair obviously hurriedly put into a half ponytail. Bruce was suspecting Meadows was sleeping, and was awoken just for this, which made him wonder why did he even showed up. His expression and body language clearly showed he didn’t want to be here, so why…

The host meanwhile vigorously shook his hand, ignoring the scowl on the man’s face “Congrats Pops, you deserve this” Bruce wasn’t sure if he misheard, but he was starting have some idea how this whole thing actually happened “Anyway, before you can receive you generous award, I’m going to have to ask you to make a speech” the moderator stressed, before giving the still scowling Poppy Meadows the microphone.

The man turned towards the audience, took one look, looked back at the host, back at the audience and sighed. It was a long sigh, one that Bruce could relate to on astronomical level. He only heard such a sound from extremely tired parents done dealing with their kids, and that coupled with the state of Meadows’ person, made him glad he was the one to win.

Before Bruce could continue in that train of thoughts the man started his speech “First of all” his voice was still hoarse from presumably sleeping, and the bilionare couldn’t help but think it had a surprisingly nice quality to it “I’d like to thank my kids, without which I wouldn’t be here. Literally, I mean” Meadows shrugged, nerves clearly showing in his body language “this is the, uhhh” he coughed, obviously trying to find a way how to not make this more awkward than it already was.

Suddenly (and Bruce could almost see the last fuck the man could give flying away), the man straightened his back and looked right into the camera in front of him “Second of all, Lilly, darling I swear to God, if you are watching this, I will find out, and there will be no dessert for the next week. It is, like, midnight, way past your bedtime” he spoke flatly, and Bruce recognized his tone as his own, when the children get too rowdy and there is nothing else to discuss, just… somehow more powerful.

Bruce could feel his kids stiffen when he started speaking, hell even he himself froze for a moment. If he wasn’t interested in meeting this man before, he definitely was now, if only to exchange parenting tips. And didn't that make him feel like an overworked mother seeing kindergarten teacher in action for the first time.

“The guys in the back also asked me to ask all of you to stop spamming their official accounts about the mistake, they know and they’re sorry” Meadows sounded marginally more bored now, before once again turning serious “Though that reminds me, Camilla mentioned new date for the Winter celebration, so please check the chat” or not? Bruce understood the man didn’t want to be here, but making plans on live television was… well, it was hilarious and his kids seemed to agree, as they were once again stifling laughter.

Meadows turned towards the moderator “What else am I supposed to mention?” the host answered with a grin and he rolled his eyes “Ugh, I am so glad for this opportunity, couldn’t be more honored, Bruce Wayne fist fight me in Denny’s parking lot for the title of The Dad, and Nathan, you’re uninvited on the next after tomorrow’s visit”

Bruce could only blink at that, because what the fuck is going on, before he was forced back to reality by the children’s laughter and the host arguing back? “Now wait a min Pop! Why not just uninvited me to tomorrow’s visit?” did that mean the moderator was one of Meadows’ adopted kids??? Well, it made sense, how he knew about him actually holding the record, but what are the chances of that happening? How many children did the man even adopt?

Nathan meanwhile widened his eyes in very effective puppy dog eyes, but Meadows seemed to be immune “Cuz you’re on cooking duty. And I’m planning on sleeping till 11 AM, and if there is a god, I will” he raised an eyebrow at his probably son.

The younger man could only gape “I mean fair, but also Pops” he whined and then laughed when the older man lightly punched his shoulder “Alright, alright. I guess this was enough of a speech” Nathan transformed into more professional persona (which seemingly disappeared after he saw Bruce’s name in the envelope) “Thank you so much for coming here on such a short notice Pop” he took out an envelope and pressed it into Meadows hands, before grinning impishly “Buy yourself a new sweater old man��

The older man snorted, before opening his arms for Nathan to hug him and- oh. Wasn’t that something Bruce was definitely jealous of. And it looked so natural too, almost as if he himself tried to hug his kids too, they’d let him. As if they wouldn’t be weirded out, asked him if he was okay, hug him but feel uncomfortable. He couldn’t help but hate Meadows a little. How was it so easy for him to hug his son?

“And that was everything for this year’s Gotham’s Best everyone! Thank you so much for watching and well, I guess I won’t see ya next year but one can hope” Nathan bowed, before putting a hand around the shorter man’s shoulder and walking of the stage.

Bruce couldn’t help but stare at the moment where Meadows and Nathan were, lost in his thoughts. That was of course interrupted by Dick patting his shoulder “Don’t worry B, we will love you even after you lose the fight in Denny’s parking lot”

“Actually I’m still deciding, depends on if he cooks better than you” Duke added, slapping lightly Jason’s shoulder after he commented that in that case he should already pack his bags, because no one cooks worse than B, but he did correct his statement “if he cooks better than Alfred”

Steph threw her arm around his shoulder “In that case you’re not deciding at all! No one cooks better than Alfred” she exclaimed dramatically. The group started laughing again, and Bruce couldn’t help but feel warm. He… he really loved them all so much.

“Ah, I’m not so sure about that. I tasted his cooking, and it’s really good” and what was with Tim and these statements. Once again everyone turned to look at the CEO. Tim, realizing he once again fucked up, tried to explain himself “Wait, wait, it’s not what you think- just as far as I know, two of Po- Mr. Meadows’ kids work at Wayne Enterprise and one of them was causing some problems, and one day and I called them to my office and-” he stopped himself to take a deep breath “basically they noticed I don’t eat that much, and Mr. Meadows found out somehow, and started making me lunches too?”

There was a moment of silence, everyone taking in the bomb Tim just dropped on them. It, of course, didn’t last long “Well, fuck old man, I guess you already lost Timmy” Jason let out disbelieving laugh and once again the gaggle descended into chaos.

Bruce knew it was a joke, and Meadows probably didn’t meant any harm. He did noticed Tim was looking healthier these past few weeks. And he also knew the other man wasn’t trying to steal his son away, or anything stupid like that.

…didn’t mean the billionaire couldn’t add a warning when he inevitably went to meet Poppy Meadows.

Poppy my beloved lmao. Anyway in this chapter we met/was mentioned (in age order) Camilla, Nathan, Elijah (forgot his name my bad), Kim and Lilith. Kim and Elijah were only mentioned tho. I love all of them and i would also die for them.

Today was shitty. Like fuck. And it's gonna be even worse if I'm not gonna post this cringe bc of my anxiety. Thank u all for voting on my previous poll. I'm also gonna log off, to destress a little

[bklynmusicnerd]

Nah cause I know sociopathic mooch probably played Laura's garbage speech about "freeing herself of guilt" on a loop in her head while she convinced herself she could manipulate Trina into forgiving her.

I hate to be all "I blame Laura for whatever happens next" but uh, it's kinda hard not to.

[pjsk-playcorner]

This is, not a vent fic uh,,

...

Yeah no definitely not, aha-

////////////////////////////////

Regressor!An angst

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She knows what she's doing, definitely. So why does this seem so hard for her to do? An was working on some project she needs to finish for school as the deadline was tomorrow afternoon, sure to some people that might be enough time for them but for her it's like putting her on a timer where if you don't finish it on time something horrible may happen. And she doesn't want that at all no definitely not.

So she tries to figure it out herself, well she should; shouldn't she? She's like. What? 15?16 years old? So this shouldn't be so hard. And yet it is for some reason, she hates this. She really does. Maybe her can ask help from her parents? No, they're probably busy with their own thing. VBS? Nah.. She doesn't want to pile up their work load all cause of her. Mizuki? Haruka? No.. Same reason with VBS. UGH WHY IS THIS SO INFURIATING.

She holds her head with two of her hands both elbows on her desk, she seems stupid. And idiot maybe, that's funny isn't it? Fucking idioticy. She hates this, she should try and figure it out by now. She checks the time and it's already past half an hour? Wow. She's been sulking over some stupid project for half an hour? Really really pathetic of her if she was honest.

An covers her face with her hands dropping her pencil on the desk, her hands feel wet. Was she crying? Maybe she was, kinda dumb of her if she was honest. Then minutes turn into hours as An continues to stare at her paper after trying to wipe the tears off her eyes. She still, can't. Figure out what to do. She hits her head a bit trying to rack her brain for some sort of answer..

'cmon; think, think.. What are you supposed to do An?' is what she thought before stopping. She will never get this project done will she? She lays her head on her desk, still trying to figure out what she's supposed to do. She feels her headspace slowly creeping up to her as she sulks in this state. 'Not now, need to finish this.' she thinks, just grunting quietly hitting her head on her chair.

Sooner enough An was laying on her desk sound asleep before hearing a beep. She groans at the sound, trying to get out of the chair and stretch. She looks at her desk with still had the paper on it. Nothing on it but small spots of tears from her crying, really great isn't it? She rubs her eyes before getting ready for school. She feels more quiet and small than usual, it's fine. She can shrug it off, she'll be fine.. She continues her day and finishes herself up by fixing her accessories on her hair, huh. Her eyes are red, it's nothing really probably.. She shakes her head before going down from her room and checks what her father made for breakfast. It was simple she didn't mind, and yet it feels like she couldn't eat all of it. Usually she can but she doesn't feel that hungry.

Ken can notice how his daughter's behavior seems a bit different, he then spoke up.

"Hey, An? You alright you seems you can't finish all your food, do you feel ok?" Ken asked, An tries to register what her father said. Just nodding and giving a small 'mhm' for him, Ken didn't buy it as she asked again. It slightly irritated An as she spoke again. "ʼM fine dad, stop wo'rying..." An says, her speech seems a bit off and Ken can see that but he doesn't want to seem to pushy and irritate An more. He sighed before letting An go for school, as he watched his daughter leave weekend garage he pulled his phone out and dialed a number.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Might make a silly part two if yall want

Dunno lol

[fumblingmusings]

Do you have any music that you associate with characters when you write or in general?

My music taste is objectively bad I hope you know. I like Eurovision and K-Pop (BEFORE IT WAS 'COOL' I HAVE STANNED GIRLS GENERATION SINCE 2011 GET ON MY LEVEL BTS ARMIES OR WHOMSTEVER) so my choices are... bad. Basic. Melodramatic. Problematic? Another adjective ending in tic.

So uh. Music. You can guess if you like which songs refer to whom. I think many of them are generic enough to span many nations at one point or another. They're all far more dramatic than canon I can say that much. :|

Melanie Martinez - Void

Pipe down with the noise, I cannot bear my sorrow / I hate who I was before / I fear I won't live to see the day tomorrow / Someone tell me if this is Hell / I gotta escape that void / There is no other choice, yeah / Tryna turn down the voices / The void ate me / Look at the mess I've done / There is nowhere to run, yeah / Holding a loaded gun / The void / Like a priest behind confession walls, I judge myself / Kneeling on a metal grater / Bloody, like a body that has died and it's myself / Tangled in my own intestines

Konata x Generdyn - Fight Back

Nah, this ain't hate speech, this is faith preached / This is Shakespeare mixed with Banksy / This is screaming out until you can't breath / This is I don't care how long it takes me, yeah (I don’t care) / 'Cause I know freedom reigns here / Already overcame fear / So if I wanna see it then I gotta be / Imma be the change (Yeah) / I'm defiant, I rise in a crisis, I know what the price is, I'll show 'em what a fight is / I'm the leader of the pack / I'm here, where you at? / Set the flame light a match / I will fight back

Rina Sawayama - Holy Til You Let Me Go

Tried to pray the pain away / Just like you taught me (But something had changed) / Came to shelter from the blame / But I left taking all the shame / Oh, you saw a light starting to shine / Wanted it only for your eyes / Older and wise, God on your side / I was the martyr who paid for your life / I was innocent when you said I was evil / I took your stones and I built a cathedral / Found my peace when I lost my religion / All these years I wished I was different / But, oh, no, now I know / I’m holy till you let me go

Chelsea Wolfe - The Waves Have Come

Creation was the only word that made you feel you never were / An endless hope is all it was and holding sacred all were / And don't forsake the way we were and don't tell me you never would / And we don't need physical things to make us feel and make us dream / When earth cracks open and swallows then / We'll never be tired again / And we'll be given everything the moment we realize we're not in control / And all you know gets older when the sun goes down and everything / Begins to fade away the waves have come and taken you to sea / Never to return to me

Lana del Rey - National Anthem

It's a love story for the new age / For the six-page, we're on a quick, sick rampage / Winin' and dinin', drinkin' and drivin', excessive buyin' / Overdose and dyin' on our drugs and our love / And our dreams and our rage / Blurrin' the lines between real and the fake / Dark and lonely, I need somebody to hold me / He will do very well, I can tell, I can tell / Keep me safe in his Bell Tower Hotel / Money is the anthem of success / So put on mascara and your party dress / I'm your national anthem, boy put your hands up / Give me a standing ovation / Boy, you have landed, babe, in the land of / Sweetness and danger, queen of Saigon

Marina - Immortal

I wanna be immortal like a god in the sky / I wanna be a silk flower like I'm never gonna die /I wanna live forever, forever in your heart / And we'll always be together from the end to the start / That's what we do it for, to reserve a place / It's just another part of the human race / That's what we do if for, to reserve a space / In history it's just part of the human race, race / I'm forever chasing after time but everybody dies, dies / If I could buy forever at a price, I would buy it twice, twice / But if the Earth ends in fire and the seas are frozen in time / There'll be just one survivor, he memory that I was yours and you were mine

Loreen - Under Ytan

I often think about you / As if you were my own brother / I have changed too / Into a merciless monster / When I see all the evil / That we, as human beings, have unleashed / The senseless suffering / Then I find it harder to understand / That we all were children once / And we all were helpless once / We loved without limits / We loved unconditionally / Under the surface / We're all small / Under the surface / A good soul can be lost

[olivereactsaboutgarbage]

One Piece Chapters 238-246

ATE WHO??? Dewey

My condolences to DuckTales fans.

Chapter 238 - Heaven’s Gate

HEAVEN’S DOOR!!!

Nico Robin reveals that the reason the combatants lost wasn’t because they were weak, but because they were high. High in the sky, not high in the drugs. For clarity.

The knight guy asks for some bizarro currency in exchange for being the crew’s bodyguard. Hmm... more than one kind of currency... just like in Fallout: New Vegas... and if I know ANYTHING about Fallout: New Vegas, this knight is a SCAMMER! Okay, I’ve solved the plot. We can move on to the next mystery now.

The knight reveals that the Gravity Modifier is actually not the intended dev route, but a risky speedrun strat that can be used to bypass the mandatory party member death scenes. Neat!

Also the knight gives them one of the plushies from Hades. Except they’re not going to die, so they’re only going to be able to use it once. Because those plushies only refresh upon death. Get it? Get it? Get it?

and then usopp falls to his death because the properties of the devil fruit were the only thing keeping lufpy afloat

...Nah that’s not what happens but that’d be funny though

Wow, that is hilariously tacky in a way that’s impossible to convey through text summary. Very good.

An elderly fairy appears. Lufpy thinks that’s an angel. I suppose contextually that’s logical.

So anyway the fairy reveals her life philosophy: Breaking laws is completely allowed, it’s just that enforcing them is also allowed. So if people feel like breaking laws they can just do it.

Lufpy thinks this is a good idea and begins to break laws.

Chapter 239 - Angel Beach

This chapter title ALSO sounds like a Stand name.

Sanji says that happiness is lame and then does a cartwheel. Nami gets attacked by a bird and is now shirtless.

Uh Nico Robin you just described the blandest most generically accurate definition of the word “adventure” possible. What’s YOUR idea of adventure? Small self-contained puzzles? Anyone who defines “adventure” like that shouldn’t be allowed to be a college professor.

I guess Oda gave up on trying to make speech bubbles not near characters be subtly contextually assignable.

There’s all kinds of wacky and weird stuff in the sky, like a harp playing pet owner named Coins.

WHY IS EVERYONE CHANGING THE DEFINITION OF WORDS???

Coins’ dad is named Papaya.

Chapter 240 - Dial Power

As a Chainsaw Man fan, I would obviously love to do that. With my phone. Ha cha cha!

Lufpy sucks at using jetskis. Sanji shares saving-Lufpy-from-drowning duty with Zoro. Meanwhile, Tony Tony Chopper attempts suicide, I guess, but only Usopp cares.

Nami is good at using jetskis. I can’t wait for Nami to come in clutch during the jetski arc.

Lufpy hates Nami for her jetski behavior. Noooo... the best characters are fighting... I wonder if this is how people with bad taste felt during Luffy vs. Zoro. Which is still not the name that chapter should have had.

I thought better of you, Usopp.

So the crew meets an Echo Flower from Undertale. But button-operated. So I guess it’s more of a normal device. So never mind. There are also ones that can record things other than sound. I can’t wait for someone to inevitably record violence with one of these for combat purposes.

Sanji is eating rotten nasty food again.

Nami goes to the Forbidden Forest because no one told her that was bad. It turns out Coins and Papaya are morons!

Chapter 241 - Heaven’s Judgment

Lufpy has no respect for other people’s cultures.

The Forbidden Forest is full of people who love to hunt humans. That’s nice! Nami isn’t sure if helping the human prey is a good idea. It doesn’t end up mattering because there’s a huge laser beam.

Lufpy sees very far-away cops.

Chapter 242 - Class-2 Criminals

holy shit what a line of dialog

Anyway, cops are trying to make the crew pay almost as much money as there are chapters of One Piece, but they don’t really want to. Nami tells them not to resist authority, and starts assaulting cops.

Lufpy assaults cops too. Usopp says “it was all thanks to me”.

Chapter 243 - Trial

lmao

I can’t wait for Lufpy to recruit a carpenter and render Usopp useless

Anyway, Nami, Nico Robin, Tony Tony Chopper, and Zoro get kidnapped, presumably by cops. Stupid cops forgot to check for Lufpy, Usopp, and Sanji!

Well, all’s well that ends well. I should skip to the ending of this arc to make sure it ends well.

Oh wait, it turns out I don’t need to do that: The cops actually DO intend on causing Lufpy, Usopp and Sanji to suffer. Phew! Wait, that’s bad. Phew! It would have been bad if that were good.

Chapter 244 - SOS

Lufpy, Usopp, and Sanji are evil tourists now.

...What’s Wei Stuff? I truly don’t know...

Wow! Lufpy REALLY doesn’t respect other people’s cultures! COOL!!! <3

Coins turns out to be one of those white women whose special move is calling the police. Now it’s time for a laser beam to kill her! Except Lufpy uses the Hades plushie instead. Now she’s irrelevant instead of dead! Phew!

THE KNIGHT WAS A GOD???

Well, I guess that explains why he had access to Hades plushies.

Chapter 245 - Adventure on Kami's Island 

The Forbidden Forest is trying really hard to kill someone. Poor forest’s a failure! :(

Lufpy and his two friends reach a video game level select.

Meanwhile, Zoro is trying to kill a fish. Also, Zoro thinks starving to death is pretty great. No wonder Zoro and Sanji don’t get along.

Zoro makes a Tarzan reference. Hmm, this is technically a new joke from Zoro, but... if anything, I think his power level just got lower... strange...

Chapter 246 - Satori, Vassal of the Forest of no Return 

Lufpy, Usopp, and Sanji decide they like balls. Usopp’s face gets torn apart piece by piece. Everything turns out fine though, other than the fact that snakes are attacking and everyone is explosion.

An evil ball announces his presence. The evil ball is like a cool martial arts guy or something.

Oh hey, I finished Volume 26. Phew! Now I don’t have to worry about the volume number being 26 anymore! Check back in tomorrow, where I’ll be reading the entirety of Volume 27.