#but given that I have 0 romantic experience I just. Never answered

[sodarlo]

thinking about that one time someone asked me to be in a queer platonic relationship with them and I didn’t know what it was but agreed

technically we never talked about it again so I guess it’s still ongoing. fuck, do I need to reach out to them to break up????

[physalian]

I think being an ace writer lets me write sex and romance with less of my own biases/wants/what-I-think-is-sexy getting in the way, to better incorporate these scenes into the story as a method of plot and character development instead of just gratuitous, among other things. In the same way being atheist lets me write real and fantasy religions without my own beliefs interfering, because I can respect religion academically and objectively, as a tool, not a given.

I write my characters in tons of situations that I myself would never enjoy, anything from bathing together or having kinks or even making out. I know why people enjoy these things and I’ve read enough romances to know how to write the proper buildup and the right tone to strike and all that jazz and I do enjoy reading romance.

There’s absolutely other factors at play here and I can’t speak from experience for a lot of the situations I put my characters into (nor do I write smut, I’ve tried, I’m bad at it because I’m ace) but I’ll beta read sex scenes for original authors, especially cis/het authors, and while “writing to satisfy yourself or your readers” is different than straight up just writing a story that includes romance, I seem to keep finding myself stuck with a constant stream of author wish fulfilment, a lot of newbie original authors seem… narrow-minded when it comes to sex.

Like they can only imagine what they find kinky or romantic or sexy, like the subtext is saying “this is sexy because I think it’s sexy and if you don’t think it’s sexy something’s wrong with you”. Which isn’t at all a problem in fanfic for whatever reason (probably because these authors also tend to think sex=romance thus smut=character development).

So I have a character with a medical kink, for example. I haven’t had readers gushing over him or that scene (haven’t had that many readers period, mind you), but I haven’t had any complaints, either. Heck, my protagonist in ENNS is a frustrated virgin in a vampire romance who at one point realizes “hm yeah I definitely don’t hate teeth anymore pls do it again” meanwhile I’m sitting back with my metaphorical coffee going “you have fun now, enjoy”. Maybe because it’s not just an 111k word fantasy smutfest but his self-discovery is part of his arc.

But I think the difference is, either in just skill at my craft or being on the outside looking in, is that I think “what would he think is sexy? And how would I go about writing that?” vs “what do I think is sexy? And how do I go about contorting my characters to fit that?” I spend the time making sure he’s in character, it makes sense for his character, and that he’s acting authentically.

Or at the very least, I think aceness (and possibly aro-ness we are undecided in that department) gives you a baseline of 0, clean slate, not that aces can’t enjoy the idea of sex, the idea is that sexuality is self-contained. But when your whole life is sex-favorable/allonormative I think it puts blinders up.

Or, I just keep reading heterosexual romances that leave something to be desired. Not just beta-reading, the romances in like, Maas books, for example—no kinkier or more wish-fulfilling than a fanfic with the same tags, but there’s something so cheap and artificial about those sex scenes. The first time I read… I think it was book 3 or 4 of the TOG series and I realized just how much sex there was, I legit got bored and scanned ahead until I could get back to the story—and I have sat through fanfics that surpass 100k words with as much smut and I am fine and entertained. Is it because she’s not a great author, or because she’s a cis/het author with blinders up, or some mix between the two? I have enjoyed poorly written but sincerely written smut in fanfic, so it can’t be that, either. If this was a science experiment and I’m controlling for all other variables except the sexuality of the authors and/or characters, I’d have my answer.

That’s not at all to say allonormative authors cannot write beautiful romances and hot sex scenes. There is only one (1) romantic scene in Maas's books that I used to go back specifically to reread, and it was just two characters finally tossing decorum aside to make out. She lost me completely after that.

Just in my experience, inexeperienced allonormative authors vs queer of any kind tend to be worse at making it compelling and sincere and my theory is that they can’t escape their own ideas of what sexiness is, because they've never had to, and can't get in the minds of characters and readers who don’t all think like they do.

—

Interested in a queer vampire fantasy novel? Eternal Night of the Northern Sky is out now!

[mysteriaqueen]

May I request Texas and/or New York hc’s?

*not forcing ofc!! <3*

ty for the ask!!!!

texas my emotionally constipated trauma repressing idiot.

"What do you mean I have trauma? I'm just fine" (he doesn't know what trauma is. show him the definition)

"So it's uh.... "

Trauma is when we experience very stressful, frightening or distressing events that are difficult to cope with or out of our control. It could be one incident, or an ongoing event that happens over a long period of time.

"Huh. I guess that applies to me. But I'm fine. Really."

doesn't want people to to worry. (he also just does think he's fine. ignorance is bliss as they say)

he tells himself it's because he doesn't want to be a burden (which isn't a lie)

it's also largely the toxic masculinity that he's got ingrained in him

I think he struggle a lot with that and not knowing how to recognize it. He wants to conform but not in a toxic masculinity way so he's trying to tell the difference. the issue is conforming should never really be a goal in the first place. so his strat isn't working well.

i feel like my previous point is illustrated well in that one video where ny calls him a coward. it's smth like

texas: [i literally don't remember what he says here]- ny: Coward. texas: well my daddy said if I just keep my nose to the grindstone- ny: Coward.

he doesn't know where the line is but in actuality there shouldn't be a line at all. poor silly idiot. someone get him into regular therapy sessions. he needs it.

new york my (also) emotionally constipated aroace idiot.

firstly i'm not sure if he's exactly aroace but he's defo on the spectrum.

i feel like one of them (romantically or sexually) it's all way ace/aro and the other is either grey or demi. dunno which one. maybe it switched around every now and then

i feel he doesn't often have opinions but when he does they are Very Strong opinions and he will kill you on the hill he dies on

he strikes me as the guy who's had a lot of things happen to him but either was never told it was explicitly wrong or there was never really time to address.

because of that he doesn't react to a whole lot. nothing phases him because he was never given a chance to be phased. never given a chance to express how he feels about things so it just became in his nature to move on quickly. oh god i'm project so hard wow

reminds of that once Jay-Z lyric: Y'all don't know that don't shit phase me / The mets go could go / 0 for 82 / and i'd look at you like this shit gravy

it takes him a while to sift through the facts of the situation and actually get to how he feels about it. you ask him how he's doing and he probably doesn't answer at first but if you're close enough for him to give you a real answer he'd just state the facts of his current condition. if you're lucky he might consider how that would make the average person feel afterwards and then say that. how does he actually feel about it? huh. um. it's whatever, he guesses

thanks for listening to me read the vibes of these too. and thanks for the ask. i sooooo apreciate it!!!!

[ivdiaries]

Thoughts about dating (or at least wanting to date) m3n again after 9 years

When I was a kid, I always thought that relationships are only about men and women. I thought that a woman is only meant for a man and vice versa. I used to have a crush on a lot of boys, especially when I was in high school. I always dream of marrying the "man" of my dreams, the father of my kids blah blah blah.

I used to only deal with boys before. Dating girls never really crossed my mind. See, I studied in a co-ed Catholic school so my world view at the time was a bit limited. Like I tell girls "you're so pretty" but it was never viewed in a romantic lens.

Back then, I was never really open with the idea of "women dating women". This might sound a little homophobic, but before, it made me think that kissing a woman is like kissing your sister which somehow made me think that I'll never EVER date girls.

OR SO I THOUGHT.

The last boyfriend I had, Harold, was when I was in high school. He was the first long term relationship I had which lasted for a year and 2 months. We broke up around 2012 - and although I flirted with guys after we broke up, I never really entered any serious relationship.

It was around 2014 when I met Cams. I was already in my second year of college then. I was slowly opening up to the idea that girls could like girls - I have no experience in liking girls that way, like I always think girl crushes are normal, but I never thought falling in love with a girl is possible. That's how ignorant I am.

It happened when my first ever college friend, Ciara, told me that she's a lesbian (Or did she say bisexual at that time? My memories are a bit fuzzy). She has a girlfriend (now ex) back then (and until now she's still into girls), and she was scared telling me about it because she thought I might judge. I told her I won't and that there's nothing wrong with being one, but I just can't imagine ME dating a girl.

And so I realized that maybe I am 100% straight, and like there's 0% possibility of me dating a girl.

AGAIN, OR SO I THOUGHT.

So I met Cams, right? At the time I was having a bit of an identity crisis. Like I know I'm into guys, but there's also this risky feeling saying, "What if I try dating girls for experience?", "What if I do like girls, but I'm just in denial?" - there were A LOT of thoughts back then. But, Cams made it easy.

She was very easy to talk to and she made me feel understood. She was also a very sweet friend at the time, it isn't that hard to like her. We used to talk everyday and whenever we see each other at school, we give each other hugs - which I know is very normal for girls.

I was starting to really like her and I wasn't afraid to try anymore, so we started dating.

But eventually I figured out she wasn't the one. Yes, we did plan what to name our kids if we'd ever have one (I forgot the names honestly) but really all I'm thinking about was how I'll tell my parents, most especially my mom, that she's not just a friend but my girlfriend? How will we get married if given the chance? Where will our relationship be, 5 years from now? Do I really see myself marrying her? Those are some questions that I kept on asking myself when we were together.

We didn't really tell our families about us dating, I know they might have the INTUITION but we never really told them well except for my half sisters and close friends, but it hasn't been easy.

After 2 years of dating my questions were answered because we broke up. And even though I was the one who initiated it, it still hurts like hell.

I promised myself not to date girls again. Cams would be the first and the last.

So one night, I was with my friends Micia and Joanna. We decided to go for a drink in a restobar named Coal in QC. At first there were only 3 of us, but Micia invited some of her friends, some seniors from our school. I met a guy named Jay. Just imagine what happened next. (Clue: no s-x involved, okay? Keep it clean.)

Honestly, I really don't remember much back then. 2017 was one of the worst years of my life. Everything was just blurry.

Jay was the last guy I flirted with - because Kath came into my life. And you know Kath, the girl from my previous Tumblr posts.

To those who doesn't know or doesn't have any clue who Kath was, she was my previous ex girlfriend who I dated for 4 years.

The difference between Cams and Kath was, I genuinely thought Kath was the one. And so imagine how much hell I went through when we didn't work out.

She could've been the one for me, but maybe I wasn't the one for her. As tough as it was to accept, I have no choice but to forgive, heal, and move on.

Anyway, back to the present times, I've been single for a year and almost 7 months now. I'm not planning to enter a relationship yet, but it doesn't mean I don't entertain people - but right now, the ones who show interest are mainly guys.

It's been a long time since I dated a guy - I don't know if the norms have changed but it's kinda hard to date nowadays.

People from the old times have it easy, but having genuine and healthy relationships right now, admittedly, is kinda hard. Why? I don't know.

The guys who show interest are either emotionally unavailable, just wants a lowkey situationship, too young, or too "jeje". I saw this TikTok where it says that guys compete for Princess Treatment which is so real? Why won't you let me be the girl here? Like if you didn't reply to the last message I sent even when we're genuinely talking about personal lives, do you want me to chase you? Or like beg you to reply? Like why do you want me to go somewhere far away from where I live just so we could "chill hangout"? Are you going to pay for my transpo fees?

Look, I'm not being petty or picky, and maybe the guy I've been praying for only exist in movies.

If I'm going to date a guy again, which I know would take a long time, I wish to find someone who'd make an effort to show me he likes me. Someone who's going to plan the dates, someone who's going to pick me up and bring me home, someone who won't leave me on seen, someone who'll just show up and be there. Someone that my family will welcome and adore. Someone that my friends would want for me.

I met a friend of a friend, his name is Allan. And he's SERIOUSLY the guy all girls dream of. He's honestly the greenest of all green flags. He's been in a relationship for a long time now and honestly, his girlfriend is so lucky. If only there are more guys like Allan.

I know that somebody out there is for me. I just haven't met that person yet. And also sadly, the ones who are my type doesn't know I exist. And yes it's Kim Mingyu.

Anyways, thoughts about dating men again? I don't know. I honestly really want to try, but with the people who shows interest in me, I guess this isn't the time yet to really focus on that.

That's it for today, will be back soon. Bye!

[jitterbugjive]

Something I wish more people would understand is how unhealthy and misguided I was in my early 20s. I came out of a life of mental and sexual abuse, for a bit I had a much older boyfriend than me that I didn’t realize until fairly recently was grooming me since I was 14. I was a hyper sexual teenager due to the exposure I had in childhood and I sought people out constantly to ERP with, even adults, without really thinking anything was wrong with that. I had an old friend who started running away from home to look for random adult men to sleep with so my understanding and feelings towards that kind of situation got all twisted and confused and I didn’t know how to help my friend. I had another friend who was pulled in to a 3 way by another minor and an adult, and the other minor was also the sort who actively looked for adult men who would be sick enough to sleep with her. And my best friend had a sister who was also exhibiting this behavior despite my friends’ many protests, because their mom didn’t give a single fuck about anything. I had an older babysitter, by older I mean in his 60s, who would bring up conversations about sex with me and show me porn on TV from when  I was 10-13. I was dealing with unchecked PTSD which made me overly reactive, prone to fits of anger and anxiety.

My point is, back then I didn’t have any kind of professional help or anywhere I could go for answers on things I didn’t understand or had a limited understanding of. When I ask the question ‘what do you do if a kid is seeking out adult sexual attention’ it’s not because I’m trying to blame kids for this, it’s because it scares me when kids are unknowingly, maybe even knowingly, exposing themselves to danger for whatever screwed up reason they may have. And no one wants to talk about that kind of situation, so I couldn’t find any answers. I couldn’t find an appropriate way to process my feelings on the matter, my understanding of it, the way I viewed it, I couldn’t find what the correct way to feel or deal with it was. Again, because no one wants to talk about it. With my naivety and personal experience, I at first held resentment towards kids like that, because I remember being put in danger because of them or they put my friends in danger, and those kids seemed very sure of their choices even when they were perfectly aware it was wrong. One of them I knew, even as an adult, didn’t ever think anything was wrong with what they did, they didn’t come with that regret you hear most people talking about. I regret the way I’ve reacted to these situations and I regret the way I phrased things when I was trying to come to terms with this issue that I’d been honestly traumatized by.

Another thing I didn’t understand in my early 20s was appropriate boundaries, because I wasn’t given appropriate boundaries as a kid I only knew one big basic thing: Don’t do anything sexually explicit with minors.

And when it came to RP, I thought that meant PG13 content was okay. I thought if there was a fade to black, or a time skip, or an implication, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Now, there are literally only 2 instances I can think of where there was any sort of implication of sexual acts between characters with a minor, I still made sure nothing explicit was shown or explored and I was of the impression that I was just letting the other person have fun because that’s what they were in to. And that was a mistake. Not as big of a mistake as it could have been, mind you, but I’d never cross that line. I thought I had a good line drawn in the sand but I didn’t really understand where it was supposed to be. Because if we’re gonna be honest here, looking back I know now even romantic fluff RP between an adult and a minor isn’t okay, even if it’s through characters and not as ourselves.

I know now how much of an emotional impact RP can have on a person, considering most of my romantic relationships started with RP. When you have a character you deeply connect to interacting with someone else’s character, it’s really easy to start mistaking your character’s feelings for your own. You could believe because your characters get along so well that maybe the two of you can get along romantically too. I’m not saying that RP shouldn’t lead to romance, but that it can easily blind a person from how their RP partner really is. So it’s dangerous to RP with kids like this. I should know, my abusive ex that groomed me until I turned 18 in order to date me certainly had me convinced we were meant for each other just because our characters clicked and my character happened to be a representation of myself.

Something I’m really ashamed to admit as well is a serious misjudgement on my part, where for some reason I assumed bodily fluids weren’t NSFW. Probably because I’ve seen people get away with censoring out naughty bits but leaving the spunk in an image, or just drawing the character with spunk on them or something. Point is, people were getting away with it not being flagged as porn, and my dumb brain was like ‘okay so it’s not that bad���. I need to make something clear here, I don’t entirely remember what happened or why it happened, but it’s true that Bedeviled Derpy had a post that showed spunk in 2 of the images and it was drawn from some sketches of mine by a teenager. I don’t believe I would have requested such a thing, I certainly didn’t script it to say ‘draw spunk here’, in fact the sketches don’t show any indication of a mess anywhere. I just remember being given the finished images with the spunk being added, and I was dumb enough to think “oh yeah this is totally okay for a SFW blog” and my brain didn’t even register like ‘hello yes a child drew this maybe ask them to remove the spunk also spunk isn’t sfw or child friendly in any way shape or form’

Some people, maybe only a handful, or more, I don’t know, but some people have this assumption that my mindset in all of this was like “Hahaha I’m taking advantage of a minor” and that’s just... not it?

I’m a colossal dumbass, I admit that, and I was really irresponsible, but it was NOT because I had any intentions on preying on a child. I just don’t do that.

The things I said and did, I did out of ignorance, and most of the bad stuff people talk about me saying was from 5+ years ago, before I got any help, before I had anyone to walk me through these incredibly complex emotions and opinions that were ingrained in my head since childhood.

I just wish that people could see I had no malice or ill intent, I wish people could realize they’re way overthinking my actions and taking things a lot more personally than they were ever meant to be. Maybe if they could see this for what it is rather than assuming I’m a villain who purposefully did everything wrong, they could learn to move on in a healthy way.

I understand I did a lot of harm and there’s no undoing that.

But I do NOT deserve to be accused of pedophilia. Pedophilia has literally ruined my life and my perception of the world. I’m a victim too, and just because I became an adult doesn’t mean I suddenly know right from wrong. That’s not how becoming an adult works. You’re allowed to make mistakes as an adult, being an adult doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes any more. Yes it’s easier to say to someone ‘you were just a kid, it was a mistake, you didn’t know any better’, but adults have a hard time knowing ‘any better’ too. We’re always growing and learning and I’d like to think people are smart enough to see that I have grown in to a better person.

I hope people can find it in their hearts to forgive me, but I fear some people are too far gone down the rabbit hole of being convinced that everything was on purpose and from malice, that I’m some evil mastermind who thrives on manipulation and taking advantage of kids. I’ve only ever associated with 2 minors since becoming an adult and I have no intention of associating with any more that aren’t directly connected to my family or my friends.

Anyone who actually knows me would know I have a 0 tolerance for IRL pedophilia, when I found out a member of one of my groups was showing nudes to minors he was immediately kicked out and I kept tabs on the situation to make sure he’d be caught by police. When a member in my server was exposed for ERP and orbiting with a minor, I kicked him out too.

I worry about kids to a point that it’s part of my PTSD, I have anxiety attacks just worrying about how a kid might be getting harmed, the last thing I want to do is bring harm to them.

And I did cause harm, I didn’t know that was what I was doing, but I did, because I wasn’t mature enough to understand how to interact with kids as an adult. And again, I’m just incredibly sorry things had to even come to this. I’m not lying when I say I think about this every single day, and sometimes spiral in to really bad anxiety because of it. It affects me heavily.

I want to move on.

And I want the people affected to move on too.

Because dwelling on this isn’t going to do anyone any good.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

bella/esme?

Oooh, interesting but very tough question. I mean, given my track record, it's obvious my answer's going to be "I don't see it" except... in this case I kind of do.

Just not in the way you expect, or in a way that the internet will say will count.

So, What's the Problem on Esme's End? I don't read Esme as attracted to women. Though, I'll admit, it's also very hard to get a firm grasp on Esme in general. She's a very strange person, who could very well be attracted to women, but like the number of licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world will never truly know.

Esme is content to be Esme, mother to Edward, wife to Carlisle, sort of mother of the rest of those Cullen kids. If she found herself attracted to a woman, I don't think she'd even realize it, it'd be such a non-concept to her.

Where does that fit into Esme's surreal haze of an existence?

So, even if Esme likes women, even if she likes Bella specifically, I doubt it will ever even occur to her what's happening. She just stares at Bella and thinks how wonderful it is that Edward found such a charming girl.

In other words, that's right, there would be absolutely no difference from what we see in canon.

Otherwise, as usual, canon gets in the way. Esme and Carlisle have extreme issues, but neither realizes they have extreme issues. Esme at the start of Twilight and throughout the series is happily married to Carlisle and will remain so until something very unpleasant and unforeseen happens.

That something may have to do with Bella, but it's not Bella existing in the first place nor is it her having a relationship with Edward. Point being, Bella's a non-option for Esme at any point in the canon series.

And if Esme was single... I don't think she ever would be. I think, given the state she was in when Carlisle turned her, Carlisle not having married her (especially after Edward made Esme's feelings clear) would have destroyed her. And pining after Carlisle was a defining part of her life and may have had a very large hand in her ending up in that Morgue in the first place (Esme keeps saying no to suitors until... Charles comes along).

An Esme who never wanted to marry Carlisle would be a very different person and may very well have not ended up a Cullen at all.

If Esme decided she wasn't that into Carlisle... Well, this is a place for heretical meta so I'll go ahead and say it, she'd probably end up with Edward. And it'd be weird. Really, really, weird. Weirder than what those two do already.

POINT BEING, given that Esme bases her entire persona, for decades, around this Stepford housewife ideal, Esme is not staying single. Certainly not still single by 2005. And if she is then she probably left to go live with the Denali and is having an absolutely miserable time.

And even if we get past all of this, somehow, then Edward likely still shows interest in Bella. If he does, even if Esme is single and realizes her own feelings, Bella's immediately off the table. It's a non-starter, Edward deserves all the happiness in the world and Esme will gladly give that up.

Esme would never go for Bella as a romantic partner.

What's the Problem on Bella's End?

Bella has 0 interest in Esme as a person.

Esme is Mama Vampire, she's very sweet, the sweetest person Bella has ever met and a woman she imprints on as "mom", but that's it. They never spend time together, Bella never shows any interest in spending time with her, and beyond Esme being "mom" Bella could not care less.

Bella has at least one very deep conversation with pretty much every other Cullen: Carlisle at her birthday party, Jasper when he confesses his sordid history, Rosalie when she explains why she treats Bella the way she does and her own history.

The only other person that doesn't hit that quota is Emmett. And he, to Bella, is also a non-concept. He's funny older brother.

Bella won't go out of her way to make friends with Esme, to do anything with Esme, or even listen to Esme's opinions. She just does not care.

Also damning, of the people Bella's attracted to, which includes both men and women, Esme is not on that list. Bella's noticeably attracted to Rosalie, Alice (after they form an emotional connection), Edward, and Carlisle.

Esme's pretty and a vampire, she has oddly soft features for a vampire, but Bella has no remarks beyond that. She doesn't spend much time looking at Esme.

If Esme was the only vampire around, the first one Bella met, and had some interest in Bella then Bella might go for it, because vampire, but it's unlikely even an Esme wandering alone would show that interest.

But Didn't You Say This Was Kind of Canon?! So, the thing is, per the end of Breaking Dawn, Bella's left the planet in a very similar way to Esme.

She has a small cabin where she lives with her nuclear family within a family. Her hybrid daughter sleeps in one room, she has tepid sex with Edward in the other. She reads her alien daughter her favorite books like Wuthering Heights, somehow believing Renesmee follows all of this even when she undoubtedly asks "What's an England?"

Bella prances through the trees in beautiful clothes when she hunts, screaming, "I AM BEAUTIFUL!"

Bella went through a horrifically traumatizing experience, untold amounts of stress, and suddenly gets everything she thinks she ever wanted.

Just as this didn't seem to be good for Esme, it doesn't look good for Bella.

So why do I bring this up? Because I can see Esme and Bella being weird Stepford Mom/Wives together.

They bake cookies for Renesmee that Renesmee can't eat. They take "first day of school pictures" of Renesmee every time she goes to school. Every. Single. Day. Bella gives Renesmee the world's worst rendition of the sex talk as well as vaguely feminist pep talks that are completely out of context. Esme and Bella discuss the joys of motherhood, Esme talking about raising Edward, Bella discussing how she's raising Renesmee and kids just grow up so fast.

They bond beautifully over this shared experience. It's a deep emotional bond between them that the other Cullens can't understand. Bella remarks how close they are and she never realized how difficult Esme's job was before Renesmee.

They get really weird.

But they don't have sex, have no romantic notions towards the other at all, and are simply Mother together.

[blanknamed]

trial and error [senku x reader]

I wrote this on AO3 a few months ago and just wanted to link it on to my Tumblr. Part 2 is already out right now, but I just did this quickly during one of my lectures lol. Hope you guys like this.

SHIPPING: SENKU X READER

PREMISE: [Name] had always known Senku was a little bit of an oddball but that's what made him so interesting to her as children. Now in the Stone World, he's only even more interesting what with his claims about shooting up to a million years worth of technology back, but some things never change with him; specifically on the concept of love. As a way to get him to think about it as something other than "disgusting feelings" she proposes for him to think of it differently, though it seems to be going in a direction she never expected.

PART ONE - PART TWO - PART THREE

{--*--}

CHAPTER ONE: A SUGGESTION

Senku was completely lost at the moment. It wasn’t stuck with his most latest creation, no. It was those three sisters. They haven’t stopped staring at him for the past three hours and it was starting to get on his last nerves. Usually he was able to just ignore them and go on with his day, but what can he right now? He had spent the previous night working his ass off on planning for the next project so the working effort on his end was a little slow (well, slow in his terms at least; [Name] had already told him a few times to slow down for the sake of their non-modernized companions). At the moment, he was having a lunchbreak, sitting hunched over his blueprints trying to figure out what was happening.

Keyword: trying.

“Your head looks like its going explode.” [Name] said softly as she sat next to him, bowl of ramen in her hand. Her eyes scanned over to his spiky hair. “Well, it already looks that way, actually.”

“Shaddup.” Senku replied gruffly, but [Name] didn’t take his rudness to heart. She had known Senku since they were children. She had used to follow him around like some sort of duck. At first Senku had found her a bit of a nuisance, constantly teasing her and calling her names in hopes of making her go away, but it seemed it hadn’t worked on her. Apparently having an older brother meant immunity to any other insults being thrown at you.

Soon, Senku had started realizing she was better off as an asset for him, running errands for him like Taiju so he’d end up having to leave his little lab less. Most of the time, though, [Name] was cleaning up the messes that were created when Senku and Taiju were too exhausted to do it themselves. [Name] had also cooked food for all three of them so they wouldn’t starve when they were working on Senku’s space projects.

Byakuya liked to joke around about it, saying a then ten year old [Name] would already be one of Japan’s top chef from all the cooking she had done and Senku probably wouldn’t have survived as far as he did if it hadn’t been for [Name]’s constant reminders for him to eat.

Though, like most childhood friendships, it had seemed then it had come to an end. [Name] was two years younger than Senku so once he had entered middle school, it was a little harder visiting him. The hobbies they both took a liking to were completely different, Senku’s leaning more toward an academic side with science, while [Name] had started to develop a liking to painting. So even if they had gone to the same middle and high school, their chances of being in the same clubs were 0.

Who knew being petrified for over 3,700 years and a threat to our lives would bring us closer together? [Name] thought to herself mindlessly as she slurped on her ramen, internally cringing at how nasty it tasted.

She had been the de-petrified right after Yuzuriha by Senku’s miracle formula since they weren’t that far from one another, though she wasn’t exactly sure why she had been chosen, given that they hadn’t exactly spoken in so long. [Name] never bothered asking Senku either due Tsukasa’s unwavering need for him to have Senku killed. When he had been supposedly “killed” and then revived, it had dawned on her that she still had a feeling there were times he was going to get himself actually killed if one of them wasn’t going to be around, causing her to make the decision to stay with him while Taiju and Yuzuriha went back to Tsukasa,

From then on, it seemed Senku and [Name]’s old dynamic had started to come back. He would create trouble with Chrome and Kohaku while [Name] would sit back with Suika and remind them to not overexert themselves. Sometimes, [Name] would even try to cook the old food she used to make if the resources allowed her to. Most times, however, it was just her picking up the catastrophes he left behind late at night.

“You better clean that up or else you’re going to have a mustache drawn on you tonight.” [Name] stated, giving her friend a pointed look as if the emphasize that she was being serious. Senku didn’t answer, only staring at the same spot of the blueprint. A telltale sign that he was thinking about something else. Slapping his arm gently, she pulled him out of his rapid thoughts. “What are you thinking about this time, huh? Big brain finally distracted from his genius moments? Could it be love? Must be the end of the world.”

Senku’s mouth quirked into a tiny smirk at the mention of the last statement, causing some odd fluttery feeling in [Name]’s stomach. It immediately went away when Senku flicked her forehead, a habit he developed when [Name] was annoying him. “Love is just a construct of emotions I’m incapable of.” He stated smartly.

[Name] rolled her eyes. “Your big words don’t work on me, big brain. Now tell me what’s really bothering you.”

[Eye color] met crimsons ones, telling him to tell her in the manner only they knew how to work well with: silence. His eyes darted to the side, making [Name] glance over at the three girls staring intently at him. [Name] could only snort out a laugh.

“So it is about love. Well I’ll see you in the next life then Senku--ouch!” [Name] pressed her palms to her forehead, glaring at her friend. “What was that for?”

“You’re being a nuisance.” He said dismissively as he slurped some of his own ramen. “And so are those three with their staring.”

“Could you blame them, oh great village chief?” [Name] asked redundantly. “Good-looking stranger shows up out of the blue, pretty much causes a village to turn itself upside down and inside out in less than a year. That’s pretty exciting for some village girls; some might even say romantic.”

Senku’s face pinched in itself in revulsion. “Disgusting.”

“You say that like you have any experience at love.” [Name] replied with a laugh.

“And you do? You’re only 14.” Senku stated.

“I’m 15.”

“Whatever.” Senku replied. “The point is, neither of us have experienced it and we shouldn’t talk about it.”

“Why not?” [Name] challenged. “Think of it like a science experiment; love is a construct of emotions right? You said it was something you couldn’t attain, but I beg to differ. Test it out on someone. Take one of those three out on a date; or you can do all three if you’re so bold.”

Senku, who had been squinting at her the entire time she was talking, suddenly changed had some type of look on his face. He never really thought of love like that; most likely because he never really thought of love at all. Maybe he should put it to the test, but the only problem was--

“I don’t really wanna use those three as my test subject.” Senku stated simply.

“What?” [Name] asked, followed by three other voices. Both of them looked up to see that the three sisters had ended up inching closer to listen in on their conversation.

In hindsight, we shouldn’t have kepy glancing their way or at least talked quieter. [Name] thought, embarrassment seeping through her.

“Why not, though?” Ruby asked, eyes bulging wide, clearly not caring that she was going to be a possible test subject. From the looks of it, her sisters didn’t care either. They really want to go on a date with him, no matter what situation it is. What a bunch of si--

“Because I want to go on a date with [Name].” Senku replied simply, pinky in his ear.

HUH?!

NEXT PART

[lime-gutz]

Sup! I was wondering if I could get some hcs of the mercs trying to take care of a high reader? I'm completely cooked now and just wanted to ask ( no need to do it if you don't want to) take care and stay hydrated

This is. Absolutely the best ask I have ever received ever.

No specification for anything romantic so these will be general hcs! I will also being adding the 1-10 scale based on how helpful I think they would really be lmao, also!! Hope you're doing alright!

Hcs under the cut:

Engineer:

He'll do his best to help you with whatever it is you're needing! He's not at your beck and call of course, he's usually running around the place for his own projects but he does his best to help you when he finds the time to! Such as if you're experiencing cotton mouth he's there to toss you a bottled water or just a drink in general to help with it.

That doesn't at all mean he won't find you and your mannerisms funny when you're high though. Your delayed responses to questions or actions, he thinks you're absolutely hilarious when you give a really funny answer back to someone in your high state. He just thinks you're a hoot! He teases you about the things you say and do sometimes when you're no longer high but not in a cruel way to mock you, just in a fun way.

8/10

Pyro:

Pyro I don't think helps much with anything actually. They don't totally understand the concept of what being high means??? They kinda just interpret that being high means you're more fun and funny in their eyes if I'm being honest.

Likes the silly things you do and tries to participate with you, but overall not at all very helpful in the taking care of you part.

0/10

Scout:

Also not super helpful but isn't like. Horrible I guess you could say at the very least.

Would most likely ask you for some too, he definitely hasn't ever smoked/has eaten edibles at all but..you know. To satisfy his curiosities he'd ask you for some too.

The most he'll do for you is toss you a bottled water and if he can stand to be patient enough, will take you to your room if asked but that's about it. Otherwise he'll just never let you live down the things you say and do while you're high.

4.5/10

Soldier:

"WEED IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL MAGGOT!!!" [Fucking kills you]

You ask him to help you and he ends up just ending you.

I would say I'm kidding but. This is also Soldier so like I'm. Half joking GRGSGHAHHAH

But uh half jokes aside, Not at all helpful to you in the least bit. He's kinda??? Like Pyro in a way where he doesn't completely grasp the concept of getting high other than the fact that. You get high, and he just views that as you getting high on the job I guess you could say.

-1/10

Spy:

Also!! Useless!!

He doesn't really help you much at all, he's not a weed smoker himself as he prefers lung cancer (cigarettes), but obviously it's not his personal business if someone smokes weed or not nor does he care if you don't, he ain't gonna stop you it's literally not gonna effect him in anyway ya know?

But in terms of being helpful? Nope, notta, zip. He'd probably say that you smell funny right to your face and then promptly just walk away. He also finds your antics while being high a bit amusing if he had stuck around long enough to witness you.

0/10

Medic:

Ah. He's been to college once. He knows what to do.

You'd think it would be surprising to know that Medic has indeed gotten high before but, as a personal hc, nah I wouldn't be. I mean, dude loves experimentation I literally wouldn't doubt if given the opportunity back in college a friend had offered him some he wouldn't have hesitated to try it.

So! Skipping past his own embarrassing experiences when high he most definitely knows how to take care of you. Doesn't mean he's happy about it though.

He'd probably would chastise you the whole time about how he could be doing something more important but noooo he has to the time away from other things to focus on his high as the heavens teammate. But, he's a doctor, a doctor with experience of being high himself back in the day and so he does know what he's doing.

10/10, only downside is his complaining and grumbling about it...slightly amused at the situation although he won't admit that.

Demoman:

OH HO NO HE IS. DEFINITELY NO HELP, IN FACT HE MADE IT WORSE.

So he had offered you beer as a solution to your cotton mouth maybe. Big mistake oh god oh no oh man. Without getting into the nitty gritty, you got cross faded as fuck as you weren't watching your alcohol consumption as you were focused on getting rid of your cotton mouth.

Yeah let's just you had to be taken to the Medbay to be treated by Medic.

-10/10

Sniper:

He is a weed user himself! He's a socially anxious man and getting a bit high just calms his nerves considerably. Doesn't do it when in battle of course, can't have him high when battling, that's not very professional but he does do it off field.

So from having daily personal experience, he knows what to do and while he isn't a people person he sticks around for a bit to help you out with things you need until your high passes.

10/10

Heavy:

"...You should come sit down."

Although he doesn't have personal experience with getting high, seeing your poor cognitive abilities at the moment had him just a wee bit worried you might fall over and insists you should lay yourself in your bed or have a seat, preferably with him or with someone else just so you can be supervised.

He finds your antics a bit amusing and does get up up get you some water or a snack considering he is admittedly worried about you getting up.

10/10, he does his best to take care of you without completely babying you as you're an adult who can make the decision of getting high and he won't stop you.

[quwarichi]

heard from your mother au - The Ripple Effect

this is my early birthday gift for @schmuzz1 Ever heard of the ripple effect? you probably did but let's go over it once more; the ripple effect is like if you took a rock and threw it into a lake. Where the rock would hit and sink a ripple would be created, and from there it would only grow bigger and bigger, taking over more space, until the water settles again.

HFYM is the ripple effect ficsonified. The premise is simple, for those who watched the episode Despair in the last season of Supernatural. Castiel confesses his love to Dean, gets taken by the Empty. He wakes up in 2003 in a motel room, without his memories and only a memory saying “Don’t do this, Cas” which helps him figure out his name is Cas, and that he’s a hunter. Simple.

Then he meets Dean.

Now, we’ve all read various pre-series fics, haven’t we? It’s a token when giving fans a time-gap that we don’t know much about, they’d try to fill it as best as their imagination limitations will help them. So what is so special about HFYM?

In a word; Cas.

Meet this angelic being, who without his memories fully believes his humanity, and drives around the US not looking for answers, exactly, but just trying to help out to the best of his ability. By putting Cas in a setting pre-series, and letting the readers know that this Cas is their Castiel, the story already kicks into gear with a race to see when and how Cas will affect the story.

We didn’t know about angels until season 4. We didn’t THINK there was a better way to kill demons other than the Colt until season 3. Characters and themes that we would’ve taken years to get to know in the show are being used and constantly appear throughout what HFYM would call season 0 (or is that just me? make some noise). But Cas changes all of that just by being. For this next part, I recommend you stop reading this post if you haven’t read this fic, go read it in its entirety, and come back here after you’re done and had time to adjust.

We good? Good.

Pamela Barnes, the love of my life and a five-episode cameo in the Supernatural show. In HFYM, she acts as Cas’ best friend most of the time, teaching him the highs (hehe) and lows of having what they all figure is a really developed psychic ability. Bringing Pamela in chapter 16 was not only a brilliant use of character but a ripple effect. But I get ahead of myself. To understand why Pamela is suddenly there, we need to identify the biggest ripple of them all; Dean fucking Winchester.

Dean and Cas, from the start, develop a sort of kinship. It’s reminiscent of their first meeting in Lazarus Rising, where Castiel rescues Dean but also has its own charm. Here, Cas has no idea he’s an angel, and that’s why humanity is so strange to him. Dean views Cas as a weirdo that is not to be trusted, and later as a weirdo that he can kinda trust but make sure to watch his back around him.

In a way, they’re mirrors. Cas’ effortless way of creating acquaintances highlights just how isolated Dean is from people because of John’s influence. Whenever they’re together, Dean finds himself surrounded by others too, but apart it’s clear that Cas (to much of my, and probably his, surprise) is the social one.

Quoting the fic tags: “like maybe if he [Pre-series Dean Winchester] got a boyfriend he would have calmed down” is the very abstract explanation of the ripple effect. By being isolated for so long, without even Sam to keep him company, Dean couldn’t develop properly, resulting in the Dean we get in season 1. But ripples (courtesy of Cas) reach him and that’s where it all comes together. By meeting Cas pre-series Dean is given two things; one, no more isolation, time to grow sunshine. Two, a romantic subplot.

Now I don’t know how much you know about media - but romantic subplots are usually very character forwarding if done right. The best thing about the romantic subplot in HFYM is that it’s not immediate. Fuck no. It’s built on months of friendship and a bond forged in hunting, in putting each other’s lives in the other’s hands like it’s nothing. When they finally get together (I did the math, they get together when the story is like, halfway over. 52% to be exact) it makes sense because you watched them forge the bond and thus pushing their character development further. Romantic subplots are one of the best ways to push a character to their limits (looking at you, chapter 49) and then break those limits. So the biggest ripple was basically Cas and Dean thinking “huh, lemme smooch” and then doing it instead of eye fucking for twelve years.

But that’s not what I’m talking about, exactly. The biggest ripple effect that Cas did with Dean is that when season 1 starts (did I mentioned this was a canon rewrite? We love multitasking), when Dean goes to get Sam for Jericho and everything is put into hyperdrive, Dean is different. It affects how people around him act, especially Sam. The first season is very Sam-driven, but the main character will be changed by changing the “supporting” cast. It doesn’t help that Cas ripple effect number 2932#: Save Jess has definitely quelled the grief-rage thing that Sam has going on in canon since she’s not gone, and is actually around them for a while before leaving to work with Bobby and Jo. Sam immediately notices that something’s different about Dean, but he can’t put a finger on it. Requoting tags: “he would have calmed down”. Gone is the aimless rage and loss that makes him reckless and drinking too much. Gone are the women chasing days because he’s in a committed relationship. Heck Dean has a bit of self-esteem now, having bagged that (points at frog-shirt wearing Cas) and it affects the story in the way he and Sam interact.

Sam can feel that Dean’s hiding something from him (Cas) and it makes a rift between them because he doesn’t get who’s this hunter Dean hangs out with that is definitely replacing Sam in Dean’s eyes - the same guy who used weird powers to save Jess from a demon. Dean is still hurt over Sam leaving for Stanford and anxious about him finding out about Cas and John and everything. Basically, take season 1 brother dynamics and throw a live grenade in the mix. That grenade is Cas, btw.

Ripples, man.

Cas affects the story - he gets Dean to get back in touch with Bobby because he’s looking for an explanation for why he heals from mortal wounds like it’s nothing, why he doesn’t need sleep, and why he’s never hungry. Bobby connects Cas to Pamela, thinking Cas is an odd psychic, and Pamela becomes inherently important in the way that she helps Cas control his powers and provides his first real… non-platonic experience (off-screen, dw they’re friends) that later helps him discern what Dean is to him. Through Bobby, he also meets Ellen and Jo, in the Roadhouse. He goes on hunts alone, and finds a knife that helps him save a possessed girl named Taylor who is later a part of an actual episode (Hookman) and there’s recognition, she’s not just a standby person and that connects with Jess’ storyline, that connects with Sam’s storyline that connects with Dean’s storyline. By being him, Cas creates ripples everywhere he touches because he’s not supposed to be there.

The otherwise undisturbed surface is broken because Cas is there to break it and create ripples that connect with each other, all unknowingly, and the way it’s constructed is incredible.

I could add more about Dean’s bisexuality journey or realization, or how lack of trauma makes Cas a lot more narrative-free but it could all come crashing down on him if he remembers the past, or how Sam and Jess are so interesting like yes girl flesh out the revenge reason we see in three episodes, but this is getting long and I could always make new posts about this fic that I love so much.

Happy birthday, Jenn, you’re an incredible friend and writer and I’m so lucky to have found you in this mayhem of a fandom.

Go read heard from your mother (she don’t recognize you) on ao3, you magnificent people.

[jay-and-dean]

Hey J! I would love to hear your opinion on something. You write Dean so well that I feel pretty confident to ask you. (I mean you must know something about his way of thinking,his way of behave..I can proudly say that you have a master in Dean's psychology ok?��) I wanted to ask you,apart from the Destiel situation(this is another conversation) in your opinion,why the authors never gave him a real love story? They tried with Lisa..it just didn't work, they had 0 chemistry in my opinion. Cassie otherwise, was really interesting and I would even liked Jo, but the writers just decided against it. Probably they never gave the brothers a true relationship because it wasn't the main focus of the show and the fandom maybe wouldn't have liked it. Anyway I was just thinking that in 15years we have never actually seen Dean's romantic side and given the complexity of his character, it still feels like a whole part of him is missing,a piece of him that we never really got to see. What do you think about it? How would you have handled his love life? Do you think that is better that he never had a real one?

Hey Anon !

First of all, thank you so much for trusting me and for your kind words.

It's actually fun that you say I have a Master in Dean's psychology (I'm actually a professional Irl).

Now regarding Dean, all I can do is give you my personal opinion. But since you asked for it, here it is (sorry it will be a little long) :

I. Supernatural

First of all, I will talk about the general theme of the TV show. Most say, including the writers themselves, that Supernatural is about family. This alone, I guess, could explain the focus on the family relationships than love, in the romantic sense of the word.

II. Quests

But, this is not all. For me, Supernatural is an initiation story. And in that way, the focus is put on the theme of redemption.

II. 1 Sam

The redemption of Sam, who is the "gifted", like a lot of other characters in literature, the one who is too gifted to fit in, the one for whom it is a curse (Being good at school, highly sensitive, that prevents him for fitting in his own family codes, then the gift of boyking Sam, the "mark" of Demon blood and the "link" to the big Bad, very like a Harry Potter figure). His own quest will be to overcome the idea that he is unclean and finally use his gifts to define who he is and not just to fit in (In that he is really close to the journey of high IQ kids in real life). Sam's quest is personal, and as long as he can't "fit" with himself, how could he with a partner ?

II. 2 Dean

Dean... Dean has the exact opposite quest. Dean is the kid that forgot himself to fit in (in psychology, we call them the sacrificed child). He is the one who wasn't given an individuality, and therefore, no true free will. Supernatural really explores this theme until the ultimate quest, against God himself. You can note that the only relationship showed in the Supernatural was, once again a "prescript" which he can't invest exactly because it is. Dean's quest is individuality and freedom. In that way, it seems pretty logical that can't link himself to yet somebody else, as long as he didn't "kill" the father figure that is keeping him a slave of their will.

III. Sacrifice

Now, something else, in my opinion is standing between Dean and a serious love interest : Dean Winchester is a sacrificial figure. He seems himself like an appendix to his brother's story, he is expendable. So in his mind, I think, he doesn't even occurs to be the architect of his own fulfillment.

IV. His girls

I agree that Lisa and Dean had not an extraordinary chemistry, and, for me, it serves the story just perfectly. Lisa is barely a person, she is an idea, an ideal. Lisa represents "apple pie" life itself. She represent what the show sells us as a goal, a perfection when it is obviously like trying to make a fish live in a tree. Dean needed this prerequisite to continue his initiation. Dean leaving her is him closing the door on a fantasy that was holding him back since childhood, because he is the one who lost it.

Jo happens in the beginning of the show and, for me again, she couldn't work. She lives in the steps of her own mother and is not the "free" alterity Dean needs to grow.

Now okay but which girl could help Dean in his quest ?

In my opinion, someone who is "free" from his own prison. Someone stranger to the issues Dean struggles with, that open his view and gives him individuality (Cassie was a good try, but way too early in his journey).

V. This side of Dean

I agree. Dean is complex, and I could talk about him for hours (if you read until this point, you know... and bravo) and getting to see this side of him would have been great. Just because we love him so much that we want to experience everything of him.

I explore this in my fics with the greatest pleasure, and I could write about Dean falling in love all my life.

Dean's personality includes radical contrasts : The highest sense of responsibility, alternated with moments when he shelters himself in childhood for example. So I'm pretty sure that for a true love to occur, the woman (or man, gender really doesn't matter) would have to be able to reach those both sides of him. I see them sitting with cross legs eating candies in front of Scooby Doo.

Cockiness and insecurity is another contrast. Leadership and habit of submission to authority (I'm talking of the sexual way this time). Sensible vs rational. Adventurous but home-loving warrior that loves comfort...

Dean romantic side would be so complex. And after a very long answer no one asked for, I'm going to have to answer the most annoying thing : If you want to know how I picture Dean in a romantic relationship, mix my fics. That is literally what I dedicated my blog to exploring.

The individuation from his father's plan in Love me once, shame on me.

His quest of the stranger in Captive.

His struggle with apple pie life in Knocked-up.

His fight for free will in Greater Good.

The deconstruction of his culture in Rescue you...

God that sounds vain, I swear I am not, just passionate.

I have to conclued by saying I have no problem with Destiel but this is indeed, another subject. And that all of this is just my opinion.

Thank you so so sooo much for this ask and please forgive the 1k words answer and the OCD presentation.

Keep being so awesome.

Love love,

Jay

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

I really like Tequila from Lee's world. What would that weird Tom/Ginny combination be like if Lee had never returned to the HP universe? Would they become more like October Tom? Or something else entirely? How would Tequila handle the mad creature their main soul has become?

Oh man, you give Tequila far more credit than I do.

For simplicity’s sake, I’ll refer to Tequila below as “he”, mostly because it’s really Wizard Trotsky at the wheel in “Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds”. He just happens to rock Ginny Weasley’s adolescent body.

Tequila’s a hot mess, a dumpster fire, and it doesn’t matter if he’s pining after Tom Riddle’s childhood friend Ellie Potter, if Tom is stuck in a diary only to be released to confront Ellie/Harry Potter, or if he’s stuck in a diary and released only to find out Ellie Potter isn’t even there. Tequila will always be a mess.

Let’s say Lee never showed back up. Tequila’s life would be one of hilarity and woe.

Wizard Trotsky likely would have continued masquerading as Ginny, i.e. being Tequila, out of a sheer lack of ability to answer the question “what the hell do I do now?” That’s why he stuck around as Ginny in the first place. 

So Tequila goes to Hogwarts, milks “I’m an invalid, woe is me, I can’t go to class cough cough I am traumatized by snakes on planes” excuse for as long as he can get away with it (which is forever) and ends up with decent marks (having gone through Hogwarts twice now) but not nearly as good as he once had or, say, Hermione has because he’s gotten profoundly lazy. Sadly, this still puts him ahead of 50% of Hogwarts’ population.

Similarly, Tequila’s effort at impersonating Ginny Weasley is half-assed at best. However, because Ginny went through an incredibly traumatic experience, no one gives him shit for it or wonders “Hey, is this really Ginny?” Due to this, Tequila’s soul is dying inside even more than usual. He doesn’t even have to try around these assholes. He could walk up to the wall, spray paint “I am Voldemort, bitch!” and they’d probably just try to console him.

Lee showing back up out of the ether is the most exciting that has ever happened to Tequila possibly ever. It’d be better if Lee wanted to do epic ninja battle, so Tequila could prove how cool and not useless he is and defeat his prophesied enemy, but even Lee just being in the castle, insulting everybody, and lighting all of Hagrid’s pets on fire is amazing.

But anyways, Lee never shows up.

Tequila gets a pretty good idea of who the original Death Eaters were thanks to gossip but there’s not much he can do about it as all the Death Eaters (aside from the ones in prison) have disavowed Voldemort out of self preservation. His showing up as an adolescent schoolgirl just doesn’t have the same effect  and it’d be a little hard to prove who he is given that he doesn’t even really know these people.

Not to mention that Voldemort was this distant thing in the future for him and he has no idea how to actually go about doing any of that. The actual Voldemort has many years experience on him in recruiting, guerilla warfare, logistics, etc. 

Tom Riddle was in dueling club one time, it was great, he learned things.

So Tequila likely wiffle waffles a lot, telling himself, “One day, I’m going to run out on all these assholes, return as Voldemort, and then Granger will cry” only to sigh and realize it’s far more realistic to start from fresh. Besides, why just try to redo what his other half did, he wants to be his own person (a better more competent version! He won’t get blown up by any toddlers!) and that means finding his own cause. And if he can make Dumbledore’s Order his Order, then great.

Not to mention there’s the disturbing possibility that Voldemort’s not quite dead. Now, Tequila can give this credence as being the horcrux, he knows that Voldemort’s not really dead. He’s amazed Voldemort managed to blow himself up with a baby, amazed, embarrassed, and offended, but Tequila isn’t willing to completely throw out the idea that Voldemort’s this evil wraith who occasionally possesses muggle studies professors. Not exactly on Tom Riddle’s bucket list, but clearly, the original screwed up everything and doesn’t even deserve Tequila’s respect.

(Tequila went through a brief, extremely brief, period of wondering if he should seek out the main soul and help him return it to power. Being the horcrux, technically, he should probably serve the original soul.

Then he remembered that asshole had one job, only one job, and he ruined it. Tequila was shoved into a diary for nothing and look what happened. Now there’s a national Harry Potter Day. Clearly, the wrong half of Tom Riddle was put out of commission and if you want it done right you’ve got to do it yourself.)

So, in 1994 without Lee’s involvement, Voldemort returns from the grave. Because I’m realistic, Neville probably dies. Sorry, Neville, you lived a good if short life and I’m sure you gave it the college try. Dumbledore falls into despair and “THE WORLD IS DOOMED!” mode now that all his even remotely prophesied children are MIA and immediately gets the Order of the Phoenix together.

Ginny, being thirteen at the time, isn’t allowed because that would be ridiculous. Despite it being ridiculous to include thirteen year olds, Tequila is pissed that he’ll have to wait another god knows how many years before Molly lets him do what he wants.

Offscreen Dumbledore probably goes through varying levels of extremely horrifying solutions to the Tom Riddle problem.

First, he probably goes horcrux hunting. Unfortunately for Dumbledore, in “Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus” and “Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds” there are only two horcruxes and only one was intentional. Tom had originally planned to make seven but the hangover from the first one was so mind breakingly awful he went “New plan, I will make one horcrux, and then I will think of something else”. He never really got around to thinking of anything else.

Dumbledore, however, doesn’t know this. So he dutifully collects memories, banks on Tom’s ridiculously romantic nature, and starts going to places of importance. Not to reveal too much, but Tom actually laid several traps around for those poking their nose around looking for his horcrux. Dumbledore steps into several of these with not so good results.

Given that one of the horcruxes is Ginny and the other is still stuck in Konoha without any access to magic, Dumbledore is 0 for 2.

More, given that only Neville Longbottom was prophesied to have the ability to defeat the dark lord either Dumbledore has to somehow resurrect Neville or else get himself a new Neville. Because I love terrible, but funny, things let’s say he does both and we get a round of Pet Semetary (sometimes, dead is better, Albus) and pulling in Harry Potters/Neville Longbottoms from other dimensions (but miraculously not Eru Lee somehow, which is great for her because she’s busy having a terrible time in the third shinobi war). 

Back to Lee for a bit and why Dumbledore’s first solution isn’t just to desperately try and find her.

First, she is completely off the map and has been for years. She isn’t even registering as “dead” or “in mortal peril” she’s just gone. Somehow finding her and hoping, miraculously, for her blowing up Voldemort a second time just isn’t on the table.

Second, Lee’s involvement in the prophecy is... a bit wonky. This has been noted a bit in “Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus” but the prophecy in “Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus” and “Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds” actually explicitly does not refer to her in that it specifies a male child born at the end of July. This is because the universe is falling apart and we’re all doomed, doomed, doomed, but that’s a different story. Point being, especially in this Lee-less version, Albus has no idea what’s up with Lee but he’s putting his money on Neville. Poor, dead, Neville.

Tequila meanwhile gets to read news of how everything’s going to hell in the dumbest way he can imagine. Voldemort clearly came back wrong and missing a lot of brain cells, even with a body he keeps not taking over the ministry even though they’re practically begging him to do it, and everything he does is not only a) very embarrassing but b) it prevents Tequila from rising into power and becoming amazing.

Clearly, he must be stopped, there can only be one Lord of the Rings.

Well, destroying him completely means destroying Tequila first, and we can’t have that. So Tequila comes up with the only reasonable solution: they have to seal Voldemort’s evil spirit away in some magical artifact.

Tequila drops out of Hogwarts, goes adventuring for a few years, finds some exorcism sword or something and learns how to use it. Comes back and anticlimactically defeats Voldemort while everyone else was busy panicking and Hogwarts was being invaded or some nonsense.

Nobody, not even Tequila, knows how to handle Voldemort’s sudden and very anticlimactic defeat.

Then Tequila recovers and shouts “Weasley is our king!”

Tequila, probably eighteen around this point, is voted the youngest Minister of Magic ever. With Dumbledore dead, Tequila strongarms his way into taking over the Order of the Phoenix, and everything’s coming up Tom Riddle. 

Only then Tom Riddle has that terrible sense of deja vu as the, “What now?” question hovers in his brain. Once again, he has absolutely no answer. Tom is the dog who has caught the car.

Congratulations, Tom.

TL;DR: Without Lee, Tequila would probably end up dealing with the original Voldemort himself/herself. He’s still a mess, he’s learned nothing, and at the end just finds out that actually, he didn’t want to be in power, being in power is stupid.

All he figures out is that he has no idea what he wants.

On the plus side, at least Dumbledore’s dead.

[ckret2]

How are you able to write such good romantic scenes when you’re on the aro spectrum?

Gonna start with the weird answer and then explain the logic behind it:

I’m fascinated by the concept of obsession.

Like, particularly, when one person is obsessed with another person.

Typically what fascinates me most is the darker end of the “obsession” spectrum—the “I’ll die for you and/or kill for you,” the “I can’t imagine existing without you and will reinvent myself into some sort of idealized person who can support you as perfectly as possible,” the “I literally worship you like a literal actual god because you are that perfect to me,” the “I hate your guts but I can’t stop thinking about you for more than three seconds and I haven’t slept right in months because of it.” So, yandere tropes, “I’m stalking you out of love” tropes, zealous cults, unrequited love, knight & lord, all that stuff. I’m very interested in the psychology of how what ought to be a positive emotion can get twisted the wrong way into something so negative—how something protective can be twisted into something destructive, how something supporting can twist into something harmful, etc. You know, good horror shit. And so that’s something I spend a lot of time thinking about, reading about, and ultimately writing about.

Here’s the thing though. If you understand how obsession works inside and out, you’re like, 90% of the way to being able to write romance. That is, I think, fundamentally why I’m interested in writing romance in the first place. Because on a scale of 0 to 100, with 0 being “total indifference to a person’s existence” and 100 being “can’t go five seconds without thinking about the person and dreams about them at night,” romance clocks in at, like, 40. You’ve just gotta take Full Obsession and dial it back to a reasonable, healthy, sane level, and then paint it pink and that’s the Romance Feeling.

And then you chuck in a bunch of other positives to go along with the “can’t stop thinking about them” factor to make it a convincing romance.

The characters have gotta be friends with each other—if you can write friends, hell, turn it into “friends who call each other ‘my love’ and are making plans to spend their lives together” and you’ve got a quick and easy romance right there without any extra effort. And I understand how friendship works, I’ve got friends! Friends are a thing I can do. Lovers are friends with benefits. (The benefit is love.)

The characters probably find each other attractive in some way—if it’s physical, then you just gotta think “okay, this character finds that look attractive somehow,” and then describe their physical features in poetic language—the more you wanna emphasize the physical attraction aspect and the more it’s infatuation instead of an old steady love, the more deliriously flowery you can get with the description. If it’s attraction to their personality or other mental traits, just, do that same thing, but with mental features instead of their body. I know how to use descriptions to make things sound pretty, I can do this one too.

If there’s sexual attraction, then apply that same flowery language to generally eroticized body parts and/or body motions, and/or describe the arousal these observations cause the viewpoint character. (I’m also ace—I have never looked at someone and felt sexual attraction—but I do know what a state of arousal in and of itself feels like, and I understand on an intellectual level that people can feel it spontaneously when looking at someone they find attractive, and from there it’s really easy to combine “he looked at someone he thought was very good looking” and “he is feeling arousal, this is what arousal feels like to him” into “he looked at someone good looking and because of it he felt arousal” like it’s a pretty simple cause-and-effect there.)

The characters have gotta respect each other as, like, people, instead of idealized statues and/or dolls (as would be the case if it was obsession instead of love), which means they’ve gotta understand each other really well—so just, you know, write them comprehending each other’s quirks, recognizing each other’s oddities without needing them explained and not finding them weird, being generally familiar with each other. If you know what both your characters are like, you can write each of your characters knowing what the other one is like, too. Bam. Done.

The characters, especially if they’re only newly attracted to each other, probably feel the physical symptoms of that—rapid heartbeat, butterflies in stomach, tongue-tied nervousness, etc. I’ve never felt those things in direct connection to having a crush but I’ve felt them in connection to other things, so I can write about them too, I can intellectually imagine a “this character likes that character so much that it causes this physical reaction” cause-and-effect scenario.

And I could go on but it’s just gonna be a longer list like that.

All of the above things—feeling lowkey obsessed, being extremely close friends, looking at each other and going “ooh you are aesthetically and/or intellectually pleasing,” respecting each other, understanding each other, physically reacting to being around each other—are all things that make perfect sense in my little aro brain without having ever felt romantic attraction in my life, and they’re all things that I know come with romance because like, I see romances in movies, read them in stories, see people talking about them daily, and have several psychology courses and books under my belt that talk about the mechanisms of love along with all the other things that come in human brains. The very first movie I was ever taken to was Aladdin and I’m not sure if I was even speaking in full sentences by then—I’ve been passively absorbing research on romance practically since I was born. I’ve just gotta remember what I’ve learned and put it together in a way that sounds sensible and that matches up with what I’ve learned about how romance works and what I know about, like, how humans work.

And if a given couple’s romance differs from the above list—like, they’re totally in love but they aren’t best friends and they don’t have that deep knowledge of each other because they fell in love in two days and eloped in under a week—then that’s fine, that just necessitates amping up other factors to strengthen the love—maybe increase the obsession factor if it’s a rapid infatuation rather than a slow burn, maybe have them idealize each other more than they should which keeps them feeling attraction for each other but covers up flaws they’ll probably notice later... and when you’re writing inside their perspective you can write their romance to be as beautiful and perfect as they feel like it is, but if you recognize those flaws in their relationship you can hold onto them to use later—either to shake up the relationship and force them to grow and stabilize it, or else to make it come crashing down.

The point is, you gotta keep it realistic even when from the characters’ perspectives it’s an idyllic perfect relationship. If they’ve known each other a week, then they don’t know everything about each other. You can’t claim they do without it sounding ridiculous. They might feel like they know “everything that matters,” but it’s disingenuous to try to demonstrate No They Really Are In Love by giving them knowledge they haven’t earned yet. Show they love each other in spite of their ignorance. That goes for any other trait that a “full” “developed” romantic couple has but that they lack.

What matters, ultimately, is that at the end of the scene, it’s got to read like the characters are attracted to or in love with each other—even if it’s for dumb or shallow reasons—and not like the author put the attraction on top of them like funny hats.

And on that note?

Although being aro gives me a very obvious disadvantage writing romance that alloromantic folks don’t have—no personal experience to draw upon, even as little as knowing what it feels like to have a crush—I think it does give me one specific advantage over allo writers: I’m going to side-eye a romance plot line unless I’m convinced it works, and that applies to my own plot lines as well. And I think that being aro sorta automatically gives me stricter standards for what it takes to convince me a romance works.

Particularly in movies, it’s easy for the writers/directors/whoever to default to shorthands to “demonstrate” that characters are in love: tropes like “they argued and insulted each other for half the movie, then in a heated moment they kissed, then they were clearly attracted to each other the whole time,” that sort of thing. I can’t stand that. I know not being able to stand poorly-written hollywood romances isn’t an exclusively aro/ace thing. Plenty of allo folks complain about piss poor romantic subplots. But I have noticed a higher willing suspension of disbelief among allo folks to accept it as a given that two characters belligerently sniping at each other are doing so because they’re suppressing attraction (perhaps because there are hidden Signs Of Attraction that are invisible to me? I don’t know) while I see a much lower willing suspension of disbelief for that sort of thing among a lot of my ace- & aro-spectrum friends. I recognize I’m working off a limited data set, here, but I theorize it’s just harder to accept that two characters being assholes toward each other are better off boning than ignoring each other for the rest of their lives if the person being asked to accept this doesn’t have personal memories of Attraction™ to fall back on to fill in the gaps between the shorthand the director is using to symbolize (but not demonstrate) attraction.

So I can’t use those kinds of shorthands in my own work, because they don’t work for me. If I want the audience to feel like two characters are in love, I’ve got to bust my ass to demonstrate to myself, first and foremost, that they’re in love. That means I can’t just say they like each other, I’ve got to SHOW why they like each other. I can’t just say they’re attracted to each other, I’ve got to SHOW the audience what it is find attractive about each other—I’ve got to describe it clearly and compellingly enough that the audience can see their attractiveness too, no matter if I’m describing a robot disguised as a spider or a pile of volcanic rock in the shape of pteranodon. If they’re arguing and hate each other but are suddenly going to kiss in a moment of passion, I’m not going to trust that the audience will just Get that they were secretly attracted the whole time, I’ve got to go into their heads to demonstrate why they feel attraction in spite of their arguing and why, to them, that attraction overweighs their differences.

At no point am I able to create the skeleton of a romance and expect the audience to add the flesh and blood simply because I myself can imagine the flesh and blood based on my past experiences—because I don’t have those past experiences.

Anyway that’s what goes into how I write romance.

[dxmedstudent]

Sorry for the question, but you're like the older sister I don't have... My main problem is this: I'm 23, in my last year of med school and I have 0 experience in love. Never had crushes, or kisses, or anything sexual. I'm not gorgeous but neither ugly, just plain and with a terrible case of resting bitch face. It's not that I'm a recluse at home: I go to uni, study at the library, go swimming twice a week, go out with my friends... [1/3]

Yet nobody is interested in me, and at the same time I'm not interested in anybody... And yet I still crave affection. I was watching a movie earlier and the parents of the protagonist die. I felt a sudden, deep sadness mixed with loneliness because I realized that if my parents were to die, I would be completely alone because yes I have friends, but I really have a strong connection with my parents, I don't have anyone else I trust like I trust them...I really don't know what to do or think, because I consciously know that everybody has their own time and their priorities (mine is to graduate med school) but I really, really feel abnormal because in social situations, when my friends talk about their relationship troubles or their exes, I simply stay silent because I have nothing to contribute... I don't even know what I want with this ask, but I just needed to let this off my chest... Thank you for reading.

Hey, friend. There is no need to apologise! I’m always here to listen if it will make you feel better. You aren’t abnormal, just because you’re experiencing life differently to your friends. Everyone experiences life differently, including romance and sexual attraction. It sounds like you feel left out of discussion, particularly as you don’t feel you can add something due to your lack of experience. You don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to, and it’s perfectly legitimate for you to just not be interested in them at all. There’s a huge pressure on young people to be in relationships or out there having sex, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. You don’t have to have experiences to talk about these things; I was giving relationship advice long before I had one of my own. You don’t have to earn the right to talk about these things, if they do interest you, either. You sound like a perfectly normal person; most of us look average; I certainly would never describe myself as stunning. Of the happiest married people I know, I wouldn’t say they are the most conventionally attractive, but that doesn’t matter to your partners. So I want you to know that your looks are not a problem. You say people aren’t interested in you, but I do wonder if it’s because it’s not something you’re interested in, and therefore the vibes you give reflect that. I’m pretty sure I’ve given ‘do not disturb vibes’ like that during busy, stressful parts of my life when romance was the last thing on my mind. Likewise, even when I’ve tried to make friends, I could spot the people a mile off who just... aren’t interesed in getting to know anyone, thank you very much. When you’re open to meeting new people, and actively engaging with people with forming relationships (whether friendship or romance/sexual relationships) as an option, it feels different. But, friend, what I’m hearing from you  - correct me if I’m reading it wrong - is that you perhaps don’t feel a desire to form romantic relationships, or a sexual attraction to people, that you know of. Have you ever considered that you might be part of the aromantic/asexual spectrum?  Sometimes it helps for us to consider where on the spectrum of sexuality we stand; there’s no right answer, only what feels right to you. Not only are some people asexual or aromantic, some people are demi or gray - they experience attraction under more specific circumstances; say, after a bond has been formed, or maybe just more rarely. I don’t know if this is something you’ve ever considered? Have you ever chatted to someone about it? What you’re prioritising at that point also matters; even the people I know who are definitely not aro/ace or demi/grey can go years without pursuing relationships if they are preoccupied or demoralised. I certainly have; a combination of rarely meeting people that ‘clicked’, but also just focusing on other things. But although that may be a part of it for you, it sounds like sexual attraction or relationships may not be something you feel a craving for, or being drawn to. Only you will know, so if that doesn’t feel like it describes you, then it doesn’t.

I’m gonna share something very personal with you, that few people know about me IRL: I’ve never had many crushes; it always seemed to me that other girls were always fiercely crushing. It didn’t help that I had a knack for the unrequited more often than not.  I considered the possibility of being somewhere on the demi/grey spectrum, but really it doesn’ matter; I’m me, and it doesn’t matter if I fall in love once or 100 times, what matters is the connections I make when I make them. I think it has a lot to do with my faceblindness; when your brain finds it hard to remember faces, I wonder if crushes just work differently. Mainly, it becomes more of a problem if you just don’t meet many people, so you can counter it by trying to cast the net a bit wider.  Lots of activities are fulfilling but not social; libraries and hanging out with friends are wonderful, but neither necessarily involve meeting new people who you might click with. If you want to meet people, I’d recommend either clubs and social activities you like, or something like online dating. I realised that I just wasn’t meeting many new people through friends or at work, and most of those people were taken, and I liked very few people. When you open it up to something like online dating, there’s the potential to talk to (and eventually meet) lots of people, so it increases your chance of getting to know or be attracted to someone you like, if you find that’s a rare event for you. If you need to get to know people to feel attracted, then mixing with your friends’ friends, or getting to know colleagues at work, or making friends through a club can be a good way of getting to know lots of people, until you find someone ‘special’.   I want you to know that it’s OK, whether you crush on people all the time, rarely crush on people, or never crush on people. Even if you’re completely asexual and aromantic, it’s completely valid, and it doesn’t mean you can’t form deep, meaningful relationships with people. Asexual people often still form romantic partnerships (with or without sex) if they choose to, and aromantic people often find fulfilment in deep platonic relationships even though there is no romance involved. You talk about desiring affection, and wanting someone to be very close to; those are possible even if you’re not sexually or romantically attracted to someone. Because support and intimacy come in all sorts of forms; I’m proud to say that some of my friendships are very intimate in terms of what we trust each other with (though completely different to my romantic relationships, that doesn’t make them lesser); so you can definitely find people who you can form close, trusting, long-lasting and share your life with them. One of my most wonderful friends is going through a hard time; they were disowned by their abusive family a long time ago, and now they are going through a divorce; they are scared of being left all alone. Having a romantic relationship is no guarantee of lifelong support, because circumstances change. Which is why nurturing meaningful friendships is also important. It’s tough, but we are here for them; out of a close knit group, everyone immediately offered to put them up at the first hint of trouble, and the group shares things we’d share with almost nobody else. The relationships that are close, and last, can look different for everyone; you will find something that works for you.  I think it might help you to read up about aro/ace spectrum, and talk to people who are going through something similar. I also think it might help for you to take some time to think about why you want someone. Connection and intimacy, yes. Having someone you trust. But is that something you desire from a relationship? Is that something you feel you get from your current friends? Is that something you feel you could get from a very close friend or platonic life partner? You don’t have to find the answer to any questions any time soon. But there’s definitely plenty of hope for you to find intimacy and companionship in your life.

[rosesnink]

Interview to Hayley Parker and Ernest Sinclaire (Modern!AU) [D&DAW]

Hello my fellow friends!

Today is the last day of D&DAU and it's sad but don't be blue,babies! Because I have one final plate prepared for y'all!

I had the chance to collaborate with the fellow host @mrsbriarmarlcaster aka Ana, who made an interview to my characters from my D&DAU fanfic The Detective and The Buissnessman,Hayley Parker and Ernest Sinclaire! I know the saga is barely begining because of my slow updates,but to make it less stressing for every 7 years I update a chapter,we brought you an interview with these married lovebirds!

Let this interview commence with out interviewer... Ana!

[Ana enters the room greeting with a grin the guests as the couple awaits her and they greet her as they take a seat]

Ana: What are some annoying habits of other couples that irritate you the most?

Ernest: Of other couples? More like what habits. I'd say when they treat their partners poorly,like mere dogs. ‘Control your girlfriend’ or ‘don't wear that skirt /suit’ ‘you're looking like a slut like that’ that's not a way to treat your partner. A relationship should be based in support,trust and respect. Telling them how to behave,dress or talk is not good,you're treating your partner like an animal or a trophy to presume and we're talking about people,humans. If you treat your partner like that,are you really in love with that person? Or you just want to own him or her?

Hayley: *mumbles* you're so sexy when you talk like that,jesus. Ahem. It annoys me when they are controlling over the other. I mean,what the fuck? Giving your partner all your passwords? Telling them constantly where are you and with who? Are you dating a person or your dad? It's disgusting. I would never do that with Ernest. He's an adult and deserving of privacy as I am.

Ernest: Of course,my dear. I know that you can most certainly defend yourself from the other people *peck her in the lips*

Ana: If you could ask each other anything and they HAVE to answer truthfully, what would it be?

Hayley: *looks at Ernest thoughtfully* Good question indeed.

Ana: Oh God, now I'm scared *laughs nervously*

Ernest: I'd ask her if she ever regretted do something with me before we started dating

Ana: oof... *looks at Hayley expectantly*

Hayley: *bites her lip* well... I did and then I did not. It's complicated. I felt so alive when I kissed you for the first time, but I also knew I was betraying my vow to never get too attached and always leave. When I realized I loved you, I decided to go for it,to let you break my heart if necessary. As for what I'd ask Ernest is if he misses his old life truly

Ernest: I mean... I had an stable girlfriend,a state to take care and a court where I was kind of wanted, but that life felt to simple and empty... But then I met you and even if things fell apart,I never felt so alive or whole. I love the perfect mess we have,how I can also learn from the bad things. Now I am a brave, new and more confident man who haves the life that I always desired with true goals. Even if it hurts to live this new life, I still want it. I'd leave the simple behind to live this life all over again, because at the end of the day you're by my side.

Ana: You two are literally the cutest! *grins softly*

Ana: Do you remember the first thing you said to one another?

Ernest: Humm,as a sentence,I told her that I was hoping to meet her personally because I heard a lot about her and her lifestyle in Madrid and I was eager to hear about the endeavours of the famous Spanish city.

Hayley: I told him he was pretty hot.

Ana: *laughs* Oh God,why I'm not surprised?

Ernest: *chuckles* that's subjective but I guess you're also quite––

Hayley: Ernest,just say that you also find me hot *rolls eyes with a smirk*

Ana: You two are real dorks

Ernest: Ahem,moving to the next question,please

4. Ernest, how do you feel about the dangers and risks involved in Hayley’s job? Hayley, is there something you dislike about Ernest’s job?

Ernest: I know Hayley is perfectly capable and trained for this and I trust her gut,but I do feel anxious and frightened that she will never come back home one day,that's why every time she haves a day free I make the most of the day with her *squeezes Hayley's hand*

Ana: You're such a brave and devoted husband *sobs*

Hayley: *smiles fondly at him and kisses his cheek* You're so corny. And about the job,I have 0 complains. I mean,he works by helping the ones who cannot help themselves and fights against human trafficking and poverty as he can,alas our jobs sometimes cross paths. He knows when a woman or a teenager is in trouble and I like it because we understand each other's job better

Ana: I stan two powerful people

Ernest: I wouldn't call myself powerful... More like influential. I'm doing what other people would've

Ana: What is the best “relationship advice” someone has ever given you? Would you ever pass that advice on to your friends / children?

Ernest: My mother told me once that when you deal with an illness of your partner,you shall never focus on cure them,but give them love,support and respect their times.

Hayley: A good advice indeed. His support helped me to get through the losses at my job and when my mother died. As for an advice my father told me,it was that before loving someone else,you should at least respect yourself. And that self love have helped me to build this relationship and marriage with Ernest, so yeah,i'd pass it through everyone I can *they both take the other's hands and gaze on each other*

Ana: *mutters* I'm so lonely...

Ana: You’re both each other’s lover but are you also each other’s best friend?

Hayley: Absolutely! We talk about everything! And if we have a secret,we don't pressure on each other. Our trust is 100%

Ernest: I did told you on our wedding that you're my best friend besides Bart. I can tell her that I killed the Queen and she'll help me to hide the body.

Ana: You're so goals and powerful...

Ernest: You're too kind

Hayley: *pushes him lightly* and you are too humble! Let her flatter you as you deserve!

Ana: What are your biggest fears about your relationship?

Ernest: *gazes down the floor and bites his lip* Not being a match for her and she'll find another better than me

Ana: Oh no! Don't say that!

Hayley: Ernest... *hugs him tight* no one will ever match you. You're the man of my dreams. I will never leave you. I rather die first. And as for my fear,I *swallows hard* i'm scared for not being the wife you need. I'm always hunting down criminals and following them everywhere and–– i'm scared that you'll get tired of me *rests her head on the crook of his neck*

Ernest: Hayley,you're the best wife I ever seen. You're perfectly imperfect. I like everything of you. I love you as you are. Even if that means hiding behind the sofa when your chocolate dissapears and you have a knife in hand *he teases*

Ana: someone bring me tissues,I think I'm going to cry...

Hayley: *chuckles and punches him teasingly on the shoulder* idiot

Ana: The words that best summarise the goals of your relationship are...

Ernest: Trust,passion and unconditional support

Hayley: Partnership,complicity and trust

Ana: Do you have any nicknames for each other?

Hayley: Ernest sometimes in bed calls me Hayls *grins mischievously*

Ana: Uuh,I like it

Ernest: *blushes* Well,she calls me mon amour or honey

Ana: Aww,so cute! I knew you were a softie!

Hayley: *chuckles* only my best side for my best man *pecks his cheek with her index and middle finger*

Ana: Think of one other person that you love, could be a friend or another family member, how is your significant other different from them?

Ernest: The other person I love is Bart. He's like a brother and ally to me. He's been there since childhood and gave me the love and support when I felt like drowning. I cannot live without that walking mess. Alas,he's my right-hand on my job.

Hayley: Briar is my sister,my best friend,my fiercest ally and my biggest support after Ernest. She saved me and I saved her. We're bound by love,support and we're on the other's debt. Without her,I'd be dead. Or worse. I cannot live either without her. I couldn't face a life without her.

Ana: It is true that she did saved your ass and Bart helped you through your feelings for Hayley. Aaah,what a gem of people

Ernest: They're indeed. Even if both had threatened me to kill me if I didn't made at least one move

Hayley: Now you're talking about my Briar *grins proudly*

Ana: When did you realise you had romantic feelings for one another?

Ernest: *puts a hand on his chin thoughtfully* hmm,that's a good one. I think it was when I attended a concert of Katy Perry,dancing with her. I had her in my arms and I looked at her and I just knew it.

Hayley: *smiles happily* It was when I kissed him on the cheek for the first time. It was a year after meeting and I was feeling angry and sad because my boyfriend in those times cheated on me and I was still hurt. He told me an experience of his own and told me that he wished that he were half the strong I am in my weakest times. I smiled and next thing I remember,I was kissing his cheek. He asked me ‘for what was that for?’ an I answered ‘for being you’ I started falling for him like you fall for a book. At first it attracts you and then,you look at it and you know your souls cannot be parted.

Ana: You two are the cutest,stop!

Ernest: *blushes and kisses her cheek,embracing her* I love it when your soft side comes out.

Ana: What would you consider a perfect life together?

Hayley: Our life is already perfect! Catching the bad people,being badass,having the best husband and not depending on anyone's judgement and being my own woman with a man who loves me like that and he's his own man. I love it just as it is. With the good and bad things.

Ernest: I agree with you,my dear. I have my own job,a job I like,a wife that I love and she loves me,great friends and enough sources to live happily. What more I could ask for?

Ana: Literally the best life! Moving on...

Ana:Do you get jealous?

Ernest: Jealousy represents a toxic behaviour. It represents insecurity and controlling behaviour and a disrespect towards your partner's life and you violence their privacy. So,no,I trust 100% my Hayley despite my fears because I know her.

Hayley: 100% agree. Yeah,i get it,ny husband is influential and hot,alas he's very sweet and rich, but I trust him and I know he's loyal to me and I would never forbid him to live. We both have the right to have male and female friends, dance with another and have our own life outside our marriage. Afterall, he's my husband,not my owner. I am ny owner, I own myself and no one else.

Ernest: That's my wife *says with pride, kissing her lips softly*

Ana: Who said ‘I love you’ first?

Hayley: *laughs nervously* that was me. It was seconds before our first time together. It was in his house. It was raining and I was so nervous and angry because I got attached. I spitted him the words and then,next thing was that we were kissing urgently and––

Ernest: *blushes nervously and covers gently her mouth* ahem,that's not relevant. I said it the morning after,when I woke up next to her. I felt and I still feeling like the luckiest man alive.

Ana: My god,Hayley,you're such a scandal *laughs*

Hayley: *giggles* or maybe I am the luckiest woman alive.

Ana: Shit now I'm soft. *looks at her paper* oh no! This is the last question! *pouts*

Ernest: There's always another time

Ana: What was your first impression of one another?

Ernest: When I finally met her,I was really curious about her. Some said she was ruthless, sassy and cold,others said she was a whore. When I met her,she was stunning,cunning and wise,but also hurt and with lack of love and care. I thought then that she was out of my league.

Hayley: When I met him I thought he was smart,sexy and resolutive,and an incredible man.

Ernest: truly?

Hayley: yup *winks at him*

Ernest: *blushes* wow... That's a lot coming from you...

Ana: And now we have to say goodbye! It's so sad but I'm glad we had this chance to get to know you two better as person and couple! And you *points at the reader* if you're not reading The Detective and The Buissnessman,did you really lived? Check out on noeschoices's profile now! Here's the link! And for more Desire and Decorum Appreciation Week check out my profile and my lovely partners's profiles: @choicesregencygeek and @hellospunkiebrewster and see you on another post or in my profile @mrsbriarmarlcaster !

Links to the fanfic

[elle-christine]

Lovey Dovey Questions:

Reverting to my happy little Tumblr days; blogging away with my 16 year-old wistful intentions but now I’m married and all kinds of in lurrrrv.  How did you meet? 
My roommate and I got invited to a Young Adults Potluck/game night at our Church. We only knew one person there, but before we got there my roommate kept telling me “you’re about to meet your husband. I can’t believe we’re going to go to this tonight and you’re going to meet your husband.” But the majority of the night we sat in the corner with our one friend a bunch of girls and were planning on leaving to go to get food. I thought “I’m not meeting my husband here...”. But then we played a group game and I noticed him from across the room, and he noticed me. And the rest is history. How did he ask you to be his?

 We met up at the union on campus to talk, we had just told each other the night before that we had feelings for one another. We walked to the parking garage together and he kept making comments about “us”. So I asked him in the garage--what exactly is “us”. And then we made a logical and rational decision to date. Your first memory with them: Going to a restaurant after the game night, thinking he was cute but so serious and probably too cool for me. And thinking that he would make a good husband to someone someday. Why is your relationship different from others you have had? I was ready, he was ready. We had both taken a few years off from dating to determine what we should be looking for in a partner and to grow as humans on our own. We have a strong dedication to communication and intentionality. Ten things you like about them.
 1. His passionate pursuit of Jesus. 2. His intentional pursuit of our marriage. 3. His ability to be goofy, relaxed, and silly with me but be mature, serious, and polished in public. 4. He’s a great listener and a strong conversationalist. 5. His depth and intelligence. 6. His love of black coffee, the sun and water, minimalism, sustainability. 7. His gentleness and emotional availability. 8. His tender heart and natural kindness. 9. His respect for me. 10. His ability to lead well. How often do you see each other?
 In the morning when we wake up and at night before we go to bed. No matter how crazy and busy our lives get, getting to do that is such a blessing. 

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? on someone who can’t ghost me; 10/10 recommend.  2: Have you ever been deeply in love? currently a deeply in love lady. 3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in? 23 months tomorrow.  4: Have you ever changed for someone? Ironically, I changed more for the ones I didn’t actually date; tried to change to get them and clearly it didn’t work. 0/10 not recommended.  5: How is your relationship with your ex? One is friendly and two are non-existent.  6: Have you ever been cheated on? I don’t have proof but I believe there was a little somethin somethin going down behind my back. 7: Have you ever cheated? No. 8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating? no longer an option, but I think I would really struggle with that.  9: What’s the most important parts of a relationship? An ability to communicate, to be partners and to balance one another out, to complement each others strengths and weaknesses.   10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? I like being married. 11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”? Nahhhhhhhh 13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? Being in relationships before I was confident/comfortable with who I was, and having relationships that were not Christ-centered and wondering why they weren’t working. 14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? I think the fact that this says “kids” is clear that the answer is never.  15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”? In some sense, yes. But cultural/generational things will play an impact.  16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”? No; I think love is a choice and something to work at.  17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet? In some situations, sure; however again I think it takes communication and work.  18: What do you consider a deal breaker? Not knowing and following the Lord. Unequally yoked is a thing.  19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? If there are clear signs that a future is not going to happen, it’s likely that it will be more painful later on.  20: Are you currently in a relationship? Indeed.  21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? Honestly, no. I think you can remain cordial and friendly, but I don’t think it’s healthy or fair to continue a close friendship.  22: Do you think people should date their friends? Yes; I think friendship can have a solid foundation for a strong relationship.  23: How many relationships have you had? truthfully one that matters.  24: Do you think love can last forever? yes 25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? love and the Lord.  26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? It would depend on the basis for disapproval. If there were genuine concern for safety, red flags I wasn’t seeing, if I was in danger, than yes. Thankfully, my mom more than approves of Alex.  27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? Wait wait wait; be patient and focus more on yourself, guard your heart more.  28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? They can, but they take a LOT of intentionality and work; and need to have a resolution in sight.  29: What do you notice first about another person? Probably height, and overall demeanor (calm, loud, etc.) 30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? straight. 31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? no, but I am thankful that he doesn’t because I do, and I appreciate the balance.  32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? in some sense.  33: Do you want to get married one day? I am! 34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed? That’s a no from me dawg. 35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? I’m thankful that I’m not, but till death do us part and if sex was no longer an option for us--we would be just fine.  36: Are you still a virgin? I am a married lady.  37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? looks will not last forever. Personality and a desire to be a good steward of your body.  38: Do you enjoy love films? I’m not a big movie person tbh  39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? Alex occasionally surprises me with them which is rad.  40: Have you ever had a valentine? Only one that counts! 41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”? Going to the beach, eating sushi, watching the sunset (or rise; but switch the sushi for coffee), worship music and reading together.  43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends? Husband is first.  44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”? I like ironic romance; cute gestures that purposely meant to be cheesy.  45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? I am married to my favorite friend. 46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”? honestly...no.  48: What’s your favorite love song? oh gosh, want me to make a whole damn list About Him.

Name? Alex Age? 31 When did you two begin dating? March 2018

What do you think of him? He’s okay...I guess. What does he think of you? Probably that I’m weird and kind of smell. Who asked who out first? I believe he did after some strong hinting from me. Did you like him before he asked you? I was intrigued but also guarded.  How old were you two? 25 and 29 What did you think of it at first? After about 5 minutes I was concerned he was “like, actually weird”. But by the end of the night I felt like I had just met a future best friend. Has it been a good relationship so far? Indeed.  Cutest thing he’s ever done? Goodness; surprising me with the cheesiest gift set-up when I woke up on Valentines Day morning. Bringing me a rose with the medicine he picked up for me when I was sick. Making me a handmade birthday card. Setting up a table with our pictures and couples Christmas gifts for when I came back from the holidays.  Do you have a “song”? “God Be” By Chris Renzema What was your most memorable experience? Getting married. And all that went into that decision, proces, etc.  When is your actual anniversary? Well...3/24/18, but also 7/14/19, and 11/12/19, and maybe 8/8/2020.  Do you guys tell each other everything? every.thing. Probably too much. Marriage.  What’s your favorite thing to do together? read and pray. drink coffee. go for hikes/walks. Find tiny cabins in the middle of nowhere and hole up for a weekend doing married people things.  Most fun date you two have been on? This past valentines we ate too much sushi and had a movie night with wine and donuts. Last summer we went to a leadership conference, the zoo, walked around Royal Oak, and got dinner with my family. Or our mini-honeymoon; the beach, staying at a B&B, sushi for dinner, wine and exchanging vows alone. How did ya’ll first kiss? We had planned on not kissing for a month but we were eating hummus and watching Miracle and decided to make it happen.  What does he call you? We’re pretty exclusively on “babe” Has anyone ever seriously proposed to you? And it worked. 

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

Why does everything has to be explicit today? A character cannot be gay if he doesn't say so. A relationship is only considered romantic if they kiss. In a fantasy story the non-human characters must be defined by human terms. If the author explains that they don't have sexes but that they might be ace or aromantic it is not good enough & he is homophobic because it is not gay. As an aroace agender person that logic is scary & would lead to very boring stories with no room for interpretation.

this ask feels like bad faith...............................

anyway, i think we BOTH deserve better than it’s kinda there if you squint and we can head canon it bc the text doesn’t directly contradict it. name me one fucking het romance where we can infer the leads are a couple even though they don’t kiss or exchange declarations and they’re not already married or living together/sharing a bed or something. nobody writes that way!!! nobody thinks it’s necessary to write that way!!!! 

i KNOW you know i’m not saying it’s homophobic to write a story where the protagonists are not gay. i’ll elaborate on what i AM saying. it’s homophobic to write a story where your protagonists are ‘mistaken’ for a couple, act like a couple, are subjected to homophobia, and then when asked about it in interviews/on social media, the writer claims that the characters can’t be gay because their bodies are not human bodies. that’s homophobic and frankly it’s fucking stupid, too. 

i’m a fucking writer, dude. and i’m gay. and i’m trans. i know the difference between subtlety/leaving some things to be read between the lines and appropriating experiences from groups that i’m too cowardly to openly affiliate with in any meaningful way! i wrote a love story where the lead characters almost never actually used the words ‘i love you’ BUT they openly showed in lots of other ways that they were in a romantic relationship and that they weren’t ashamed to be together. it’s possible to have nuance about the relationships/experiences within the story but still make it obvious that you respect and love and care for real live queer folks and aren’t going to treat us like some dirty little secret while still cherrypicking our experiences to give your story texture n flavor. 

anyhoo maybe you, anon, aren’t all that into love stories. maybe you want stories about devoted friendship and found family and that’s peachy keen, jelly bean and you SHOULD have that. i don’t think that’s at all at odds with my desire to see same gender romances portrayed respectfully in mainstream media. not at all!!!! we’re not enemies!!! we are not in opposition to each other!!! like here’s a thought! a single piece of media that depicts multiple types of queer experiences! m/m couples, f/f couples, happily single queer folks, straight trans folks, SPECIFICALLY ace/aro folks who get to actually use the words not just ppl who never seem to wind up in a relationship, bi ppl in m/f relationships. AND/OR lots of mainstream media about various queer experiences!!! we don’t need to fight for scraps!!!! let’s get together and bully the straights who think that there can only be 0-1 queer ppl in any given piece of media!!!! why would we treat each other like enemies when obvs the answer is we BOTH deserve good things? 

go in peace, anon. i hope you get lots of good stories to watch and read.