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If You Were My Little Girl II
Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader
Summary: Things are looking up
Alexia watches from the stands.
They're mostly empty, like almost all Barcelona B matches.
Women's football has only really started picking up steam recently but only at the top flight. The lower level leagues are still having a bit of a popularity issue.
But Alexia, for once, finds that she doesn't mind.
Because it means she can sit practically alone in the stands as she watches the home match.
A notepad sits on her lap, a pen tapping against the pages thoughtfully as she watches.
Barcelona B are good and Alexia has never expected anything different. She's seen the system at work many times as La Masia churns out players like Aitana and Pina and Jana, and more recently Vicky and Martina.
There's a reason so many clubs wants La Masia products.
They're all good players but even now, Alexia can tell a great player when she sees one.
You rise up among the crowd in the box and slam the ball into the goal, the net rippling with the force of the shot.
The best part, Alexia thinks, is that you didn't even need a moment to control the ball, hitting it in on the volley and grinning as your teammates practically dogpile you.
A hattrick in ten minutes is impressive in any league and Alexia makes another note in her notebook, humming softly to herself.
She rises out of her seat at the end of the match, disappearing into the building and out the doors.
It takes another half an hour for you to appear again, hair damp and an old crew neck sweater that Alexia's pretty sure is Alba's being tugged over your head.
You slip into the passenger seat, throwing your bag into the backseat and Alexia pulls your head down to press a kiss against the side of it.
You smile shyly at her as she offers up the fries she'd bought for a job well done.
"You did good, kid," She says," Very impressive."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. But I think we're going to work on evading slide tackles next," Alexia says as she drives off," We're trying to keep those ankles of yours intact, alright? I'm going to need them this season."
You roll your eyes and Alexia clicks her tongue.
"Don't roll your eyes at me," She says," I've got a good feeling about that meeting later in the week. A great feeling, actually. You should have one too."
"I'm managing expectations."
Alexia looks at you fondly. "Well, we'll see which one of us is right in a few days."
She lets you choose the music in the car, like she always does when you've scored a goal and you pull up to the apartment a lot quicker than you want to seeing as you're in the middle of singing along to your favourite song but, still, you drag yourself out of the car and up the stairs.
"How was the match?" Olga asks as she greets Alexia with a kiss on the lips.
"She did very well," Alexia brags," A hattrick within the first ten minutes and another goal in injury time."
"Exciting," Olga says indulgently as Alexia grins, already giving her running commentary of everything that happened during the match.
You escape though, hurrying to raid the cupboards before Alexia finally comes to her senses and tries to stop you 'spoiling' your dinner.
You don't know if there's any way to thank Alexia for what she's done for you.
Just three months ago, you were convinced that you were going to quit. You had no passion for the game, no hope of what your future was going to be but now all of that had changed.
You had direction. You had a manager. You had new boots and a place to live that wasn't a group home and support and love and everything seemed to be coming together for you.
A toe pokes you in the leg.
"Move."
"Alexia says that if you're trying to nap on her sofa again then I don't have to move," You tell Alba, who huffs and pokes you with her toe again," She also says that you have your own apartment and should stop mooching of us."
"But Olga's a better cook than me," Alba complains and you roll your eyes.
"Aren't you an adult? Even I can cook."
"Yeah but it's not like you could mooch off your sist-"
Alba falls silent quickly and you pretend to not notice what she was going to say for both hers and your own sakes.
The topic of your sister is kind of off limits when you're in the room. It's not completely banned because Alexia's still Jenni's national teammate but she's not really spoken about if you're in the room.
Alba's face flashes with terror for a moment so you pretend you don't notice her slip up ever though it sends a bolt of lightning into your stomach, a deep pit forming there.
It works for the most part, everyone in the house pretending Jenni isn't who she is to you, pretending that she's just Alexia's teammate and not her friend and ex, pretending that Alexia fostering you isn't her walking on a tight rope because Jenni doesn't know.
All Jenni knows is that you didn't quit when she told you to.
Jenni doesn't know that you live with Alexia. Jenni doesn't know anything. You doubt she even thinks about you when she's got a life far away in Mexico.
She lives there, far away from you and your life here in Barcelona.
She lives there and her presence is hardly ever mentioned around you.
Life is good at Alexia and Olga's house. Life is even good at training, though you could do without the smug little smirk Alexia has on her face when she picks you up.
"You already knew!" You accuse her, waving a finger in her face.
"Knew?" She asks, lips curl up in what can only be described as pure smugness," Knew what?"
"Right, who told you? Go on. Who was it?"
Alexia grins. "You do realise I am the captain? Any time they're looking to bring someone in, they ask me my opinion."
You roll your eyes. "Yeah and I'm sure you gave it."
"You're a good player. A great player," Alexia says," All I did was tell them what they already know."
You look down at your lap, fidgeting with your fingers. You want to be mad at her, to yell at her for keeping this from you. Maybe even yell at her for promising to the staff something you're not but you know she hasn't done that.
If she thought you weren't ready, she would have told them that.
But Alexia didn't. She didn't tell them to let you have a bit more time with the B team. She didn't tell them that you don't quite have what it takes.
"Thanks."
Alexia smiles at you as she drives home, a comfortable silence enveloping you both until your hand is on the door handle.
You stop.
"When I open this door, there's going to be a party, isn't there?"
"I may have told Olga...who told Mami...who told Alba...who told the rest of the family..."
"Is that a yes?"
"Possibly..."
"And there's no getting out of this?"
Alexia ruffles your hair, a soft kiss being pressed to the side of your head. "They're here to celebrate you."
You suck in a breath, just ready to turn the handle when the sound of the lift doors opening chimes down the corridor.
Both you and Alexia turn your heads towards.
It's just a fleeting second.
Just a moment.
But your good mood plummets as the door opens.
Alexia's hand tightens on your shoulder, pushing you slightly behind her and putting herself between you and the elevator.
Between you and Jenni.
#woso x reader#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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KNUCKLE VELVET, TORN ON MY TEETH
â VI!ONE SHOT â
pairing. pitfighter!vi x bartender!reader
warnings. eighteen+, nsfw content: arcane season two spoilers, soft angst, smut, bartender!reader, crashout!vi mends her cold heart, inexperienced!vi, switch!reader + vi, fem coded reader, coded alcohol addiction, slight spit kink, strap use.
KNUCKLE VELVET TORN ON MY TEETH, there's something charming about the pitfighter who doesn't stop drinking until she reaches the bottom of the barrel and the bartender who keeps walking her home.
wc. 7k+
rayray yaps. popping my vi!oneshot cherry, hehe, and i'm happy to do so. the vi brainrot has been real as fuck lately. i fear it's not going away anytime soon. but i wanted to give a special shoutout to @hypnagogics for proofreading this fic, means sm to me ily + my sweet bubba, @absfawn for the title name, i could kiss you until my lips fall off. the best people ever, i love them so much. okay, now i have yapped enough! happy reading, hope you enjoy.
Trapped in the abyss, just when everything had been taken from her life seems to sacrifice another offering on a silver platter. Something else that she thought could be hers, but wasnât. In the end, all of it was the same. Life is the same. She takes three steps forward, circumstances out of her control take her apart like enforcers imposing their will on Zaun, and sheâs forced to move five steps back. Itâs all she feels, powerless.Â
Wanting nothing more than to drown her sorrows, forget all that she's lost. For everything thatâs been taken, Vi feels an overpowering loss, threatening to take over everything sheâs trying to build. But Vi thinks of none of it now, she canât afford to think of one more thing. So, she doesnât. All of her mind forgets. She forces herself to.Â
Zaun, Piltover, Jinx, Vander, Silco, and Cait.Â
She drowns in blood, sweat, and liquor for nights to come. She forgets everything and you are just the cherry top on this one shitty sundae. Anytime sheâs here, Vi manages to get herself into a fight. Each time. Every time she tries to apologize or hold an ounce of guilt in her eyes, you see right through her crystal blues. From the very first night, you called her bullshit. Even if Vi didnât give in, it was hard to hide her small smirk.Â
She lets herself think itâs because youâre a bartender. You practically get paid to read people, listen to them vent about shit you probably donât give two shits about and break up the fights that erupt every thirty minutes. Overinflated egos and drunken assholes werenât a great mix. The jury was still out if you though Vi was one. She could have both, she didnât really talk much. Vi fought, drank until she couldnât see straight, and you helped her up to her small apartment right across the street and up the steps into her said apartment.Â
No matter how hard she tries, it always ends the same. Vi looking like an imbecile and you, the pretty bartender who shuts down every advance she throws your way. Vi wonders who had a stronger shell, what youâre hiding in order to protect yourself.Â
Maybe she is just an asshole.Â
âYou donât have to walk me up here. I-I can make it just fine on my own.âÂ
As soon as your fingertips let go of her fragile frame, Viâs inebriated body collapses on the concrete steps, grabbing onto the metal framing as if her life depends on it.Â
âReally? Now you wanna prove a point?âÂ
âFor your information, Iâm always in it to prove a point.âÂ
Even if your words are harsh, with a soft smile and a hand open, Vi takes it as you let her lean on your weight as you assist her up the steps. Thereâs little shame to be had once the two of you make it in. It isnât like the first time and when she noticed the scrunch of your nose in taking the smell, tequila and grease. Vi thought it was cute but she halts any further thought.Â
Quickly, Vi disposed of her leather jacket and pants sheâs left in boxers and the wrap protecting her chest. The part of her life that seems to be kept together. She doesnât really mind it though, you. Seeing her like this. Even more so, she enjoys it. Youâre always so dismissive at the bar, hardly holding eye contact, turning down any flirting she hurls your way. Just like the vomit Vi had nearly thrown up on your shoes but made a quick diversion for the bush to the right of her instead.Â
This is truly the only time she knows you want her. Not so subtly, your eyes trace her like each pinpoint of your gaze is painting her on a clean canvas, one Vi wonders if sheâll like or not. When sheâs been around you, sheâs been wondering about a lot of things â thoughts she quite literally canât afford.Â
Itâs her, nothing ever ends well when her feelings can get crushed on the other side.Â
Everything she touches burns to ash before she can even hold it for a moment, a second of symphony retaliates with years of misery. How could you be any different? She wishes you would burn her underneath your gaze, put her out of the misery she feels growing every day, but you donât. Youâre always pulling her out of trouble when you truly donât have to. Itâs not your job to take care of her or hell, even look after her.Â
But you do and she canât seem to figure out why.Â
âWhy are you doing this?âÂ
âJust shut the fuck up and let me help you. Not everyone has a motive. Some people just like to help when someone is so clearly struggling.âÂ
âIâm notââÂ
You give her a glare that seems to shut her up. You draw a bath for her. Itâs easy to find her towels in the only cabinet. Itâs an acute studio apartment. More so of a small room with a stove stop, minimal counter space, and one bathroom enough to bathe and brush her teeth in. There isnât much left of it but itâs hers. Grabbing the first aid kit, you kneel between her legs, the mattress sits on the floor, her legs spread and stretching out in front of you.Â
âLet me help you. Alright?â Vi grumbles, a incoherent complaint, but she lets you tend to her wounds.Â
Itâs mainly just cleaning off her dry blood as she still complains in the process, but thereâs a few cuts on her face and her cheeks are already beginning to bruise. Itâs not a secret, she bruises like a peach but she always makes sure her opponent is leaving a lot more with just a few cuts and a bruise the size of a plum.Â
Itâs then, when youâre concentrating on the cuts on her face, the busted lip sheâs sporting; she looks at you. Maybe itâs the first time she has, but without even realizing it, she gets lost. Not in the way Vi doesnât know who she is, that sheâs completely lost on, but Vi sees you.Â
Bright-eyed, optimistic, helpful, kind â all attributes she couldnât claim but wears like a badge of honor. As if helping others instills you with a sense of purpose, something thatâs always been a lost cause to her. Fight until the next fight, and the next, and the next. Thatâs what sheâs done, she's always been a fighter. Sheâs fallen back on it when needed. Itâs clear to her. Like a vision she could see, crystal clear through some stupid ball, itâs always been about survival.Â
But how much longer does she want to fight and how much more does she have in her?Â
âThanks.â Vi speaks softly.Â
Not knowing where to place her palms, she settles for her thigh. Silent as she watches, nearly analyzing every moment, every glance, every little thing youâre doing. Itâs sobering to say the least. You donât need to be delicate but you are. Itâs more kindness than she deserves, nearly leaving a bitter taste on her tongue but when you offer a small smile and a soft whisper, youâre welcome.Â
Itâs the sweetest thing Vi has ever seen.Â
Thereâs something different in the way you look at her. The soft omission exposes how sweet on Vi you may be. Definitely more than youâd let on, which was wellâŚnone. Up until tonight, she thought you hated her. With each word uttered in your direction, Vi assumed youâd rather swallow bile than stomach her slurred, flirty speech.Â
âWhy do you want to help? Itâs not like Iâve exactly beenââÂ
âKind?âÂ
âYeah, something like that.âÂ
This time Vi lets the smile reach her eyes and your smile gets even sweeter. She can practically feel the sweetness rotting her teeth as she speaks. Itâs the first time she feels something new, something as bright as the light radiating through your eyes.Â
âYou just seem different. Even if you do try to hide it.âÂ
With a flush of crimson coating the apple of her cheeks, sheâs never been quite as exposed as this. The next few weeks are spent with less drinking, but Vi frequents the bar just as much as she did before. She orders a few pints just to talk to you. Sheâs learning more about you, slowly but surely, youâre opening up more. Divulging information you wouldnât have before, trust is earned. Itâs something you told her the first night you met and to this day, Vi still remembers it.Â
Regardless of how drunk sheâd been when you said it.Â
Itâs a typical night. Vi flirted with you but you arenât being dismissive tonight but youâre careful enough to not let her know exactly how you feel. Everything you say is guarded enough you keep her on her toes, for a moment she thinks she might have to become a ballerina. Itâs a slow night, Wednesday. Go figure Vi thinks. There was a woman whoâd also been flirting with you all night. Vi thought she was beautiful, sweet, funnyâŚcertainly was making you laugh all night.Â
Part of Vi wanted to feel jealous but it feels too good hearing you laugh, she says nothing. Maybe you just donât like women. Vi was known for reading into things too much, thinking everyone thought with their heart first just like she did, and assuming every hot and attractive woman was into other women â just like she is.Â
But the brunette left before closing, leaving Vi and a few other regulars paying their tab as they stumbled home with a belly full of liquor of their choosing.Â
âAlright Vi, donât you have somewhere to be? Maybe getting some sleep for the night?âÂ
âI donât sleep much, itâs better if I donât.âÂ
âKeeps the nightmares away.âÂ
All Vi does is nod.Â
âStory of the century.â You take Viâs empty pint before washing it dispersing in the sink before cleaning up the remainder of the bar top. âEveryoneâs got one around here and the new one is usually even more depressing than the last.âÂ
âWhat about yours?âÂ
âIf you wanna hear that, Iâll have to be the one doing the drinking.â You smile but itâs the first one Vi recognizes as insincere.Â
âYeah, seems to be the stone cold requirement for a heart to heart.âÂ
Viâs silent as you vent to her about the customer who refused to pay up tonight until you threatened to kick his ass and that wasn't enough, you threatened Letty on him. Vi found herself only slightly entranced as you spoke with such color, your animated voice doing impressions of the stubborn patreon, moving your hands as you speak, eyebrows furrowed as you finished the story.Â
Youâre done cleaning and are ready to close by the time you finish, locking the door as Vi stuffs her hands in her pockets, âCan I ask you something?âÂ
You cling to your bag like a lifeline. Vi notices how tight your grip is on the strap, almost as if youâre afraid. Of what? She has a craving to find out. âWhyâd you turn her away? She seemed plenty interested. Not your type?âÂ
You take a step forward, just as close as the last time you were in her apartment, tending to wounds she wouldnât have really cared about but still she let you clean them.Â
You didnât have to know that. Not yet, anyway.Â
âNo, not really. I like my women a little rough around the edges, stumbling out of bars so wasted they canât even walk home by themselves.â You smirk, grabbing the lapel of her leather jacket as you tug her closer to you. âOr is that what you want me to say?âÂ
âIs it true?âÂ
You both know the hope in her eyes is dangerous.Â
Hope.Â
A foreign concept in Zaun. If you get too close to the flame, youâll get burned, dusting into ash as if you never existed. Itâs what shimmer did to people, wipe them off the map until they reformed into a shell of what they used to be. You didnât just get out of a place like this, not without some help. Vi could barely even help herself.Â
The both of you know itâs a bad idea. A terrible, god awful idea, but you still move in closer to her. Vi notices and she wipes the smirk off her face, your warm hands finding purchase on her exposed hips, drawing soft circles on her hip bones. She likes it, even when her heart feels torn from being blown to bits by a certain blue-eyed beauty.Â
Vi likes you.Â
âYour skin is softer than I thought it would be, smooth like pure silk. Not that Iâve ever touched it before but Iâve got to believe it would feel a lot like this.âÂ
Vi feels a tingle up her spin, your touch is overwhelming, more than she bargained for really. A stumbling, messy kiss is all she really expected if anything. Not this. Clearly, you knew what to do. Leaving Vi a little clueless in that department, sheâs knocked off her feet once again but this time in a way she wants to be. But actually bringing something this special to anything more than a few flirty quips? It never seems to be her strong suit.Â
So, she puts her best foot forward. Her big stupid mouth, one she can never quite fully silence. âI can guarantee my lips feel a lot softer.âÂ
âViââ You speak her name like a warning, an unspoken law youâre breaking by entertaining your feelings and the bubbling sentiments you hold for her close to your heart. You know better than to keep it so close, but the halo in her eyes blinds you to reason and you let it.Â
âItâs Violet but you can call me whatever you want, sweets.âÂ
You chuckle at the pet name.Â
âJust one night. Thatâs it. Just to get it out of our system.âÂ
âOne night, sweets. Itâs all I need.âÂ
âÂ
Itâs how you ended up here, the third night in a row since the first, trapped under the web of Vi and her eager mouth. Slender, perfectly sculpted fingers feel like a hex to your cunt, every moment causing you to fall further into her spell. To say she has a certain talent would be considered an understatement. Itâs clear Viâs enjoying herself, fuck, damn near suffocates herself in your weeping cunt. Last night wasnât nearly enough, she needs to have you, again. Not that you were complaining.Â
As much as you hate to admit it, there has been no one as generous as her. As good as her, as sweet, as kind, and she did whatever the hell you asked for. Nothing has beaten the first night, her thumping clit nudging against your as she hiked one of your legs over her toned shoulders.Â
Itâs not a secret how built she is, far from it, but itâs another thing entirely to watch her flexed bicep ripple with every grind of her hips. Each movement seems to be calculated with precision, focused on doing more than just making herself feel good. With pure determination, glazed over crystal blue eyes, and a pouty scarred lip, she makes sure youâre enjoying this as much as her. With each moan you let slip, her confidence only grows until sheâs commanded full control over you. She takes what she wants from you and in return youâre seeing stars behind your eyes, constellations created in the shape of her name as you come.Â
âThatâs it pretty girl, just for me, yeah?â Vi talks you through as she works you through your orgasm with her strong hips, not stopping even after youâve cum. She wants more and Vi pulls three more orgasms out of you before sheâs done for the night. You expected her to be good. There was no shocker there but you didnât expect her to be so sweet afterwards. Vi is a drunk, an addict, whether she wants to accept it or not. You could be just another object sheâs addicted to. Somehow, you convince yourself itâs just a one time thing. It doesnât mean anything, it wonât.Â
Truthfully it feels much more than just a one night stand, more than an itch being scratched â the blossoming ache in your soul feels tethered to your heart every time Vi makes you feel an ounce of love â even when she tries to hide it behind a wall. Whether youâre aware, the wall canât seem to stop crumbling. Brick by brick, itâs coming undone just as you have. Weak-willed and with purpose, you fall into her.Â
There isnât an inch of your body Vi didnât kiss. Her lips tattooing every inch of your skin with marked affection, almost as if sheâs mending your skin with the burn of her lips. When she claims your soft lips, haunting you with the salvation of perfection as her velvet tongue invades your mouth, the taste of you melting from her tongue to yours. The silent declaration you didnât ask for but craved, the carnal moan leaving her mouth as she chuckles when your hips pathetically grind into hers.Â
Vi enjoys your company, that much is clear, but this time you bring her to your place. Itâs more or less the same. Both of you coming down from the highest of highs, you feel sticky, dirty, and damn right heavenly. Vi disappears into your bathroom, grabbing a wash rag before dampening the material underneath a warm faucet. Carefully, she kneels by your hips, legs twitching softly as her skilled fingers find your slit before Viâs sucking the digit in your mouth.Â
âI just wanted one last taste before I clean you up.âÂ
As she has before, Vi makes good on her promise and cleans you up. She enjoys when the pad of her thumb grazes against your clit, terribly overstimulated, your stomach twitches. All Vi can do is chuckle.Â
âIâm just a littleââÂ
âSensitive?â Vi smirks as you hide your face in the palm of her hands, the pad of her thumb gently caressing your skin. Â
Itâs the lightest sheâs felt in weeks. Almost as if sheâs floating on a cloud, she wants to stay up there in the cloudiest of nines. Just you and her and an aging mattress as she offers you everything she can give. Albeit, it isnât much but sheâll still freely give.Â
Like a dog with a bone, Vi corners you on the third night when itâs just you and her in the bar. Closing time has long since arrived and vanished into the crisp air of the night but Vi has you bent over the bar, desperation clawing at the weathered countertop of the bar as Viâs fingers fucks your pretty little hole while her tongue laps at the slick thatâs dripping out of you. Your pretty little skirt pushed up, your panties pushed to the side as she laps and sucks at your juices. She can feel you dripping onto her chin and it only makes her that much more eager to swallow every bit you have to offer.Â
âWe shouldnât be doing thisââ Fuck. Vi starts doing tricks with her tongue, sliding in another finger, pushing against the soft spot buried deep as she toys with you in the way knows best. âWe, um, Vi we said just one night.âÂ
âShut the fuck up and take it like a good girl. Or did you forget?â Vi moans into your cunt, the vibrations causing your thighs to shake under her mouth. âItâs not like you were complaining last night.âÂ
Vi silences you as her pace picks up, her fingers fucking you at such a pretty pace, feeling the build grow in the pit of your stomach edging to come to a full bloom.Â
All of you begging for it to be released. Vi uses her free hand to slap your ass, sending you moaning and lurching forward. You push yourself back grinding against her tongue, before she removes her divine mouth as she kisses up your spine, her fingers stuffed inside you not faltering for a moment.Â
Vi continues to kiss up your spine until she reaches the nape of your neck, her breath kissing your skin, your body shivers into her touch. Full lips ghost over your ear before whispering quietly, âAre you sure you want me to stop? I will if you want me to. I just thought you might wanna, you know, take my cock tonight. Give it a good ride.âÂ
The moan you let out would put Aphroditeâs to shame, needy and choked sobs escape you as her fingers thrust inside you faster than they have before.Â
âOh? Do you like the sound of that, babygirl? Want to show me how good you can be for me?â Vi doubled down on her efforts, enjoying how much you arched into her body, your hips pushing back as you grind into quick fingers. Sheâs fucking you better than wellâŚanyone.Â
âVi, please.â Your voice catches in your throat, hoarse and full of need. An insatiable craving; one you fear only she can provide. A few mindless days and careless flirting to land in her sheets, her in yours, the details didnât truly matter. A vampire out for blood, almost more venomous than precious canines breaking the skin, you yearned to suck on every last drop. But she didnât seem to be in a mind frame to relinquish control.Â
âPlease what? Iâm not sure if I understand you.âÂ
All of it, so tantalizing, so fucking infuriating. Three fingers inside you, effectively making you silent, shutting you up as she brings you closer to the edge. Thatâs the thing, truthfully, Vi has you right where she wants. Only a few thrusts away until you come undone around her. The black haired succubus increases the pace, thumb playing with your clit, her calloused fingers increasing your high as she applies more pressure on the thousands of nerve endings on your precious pearl.Â
âShit. Youâre gonna pay for this.âÂ
âWhat? For making you come? I hardly constitute that as a crime.âÂ
Your hands reach for the counter top, youâre not sure what exactly you want, but Vi makes you come for the first time that night. Itâs a game, the push and pull. Dangerous. Intoxicating. Some disposition falling far from your fingertips, a game to her and a downward hill spiral for you. Addiction festering next to an open wound and the only antidote can be found on her tongue. Tasting the devilâs mouth is one thing but swallowing the sensation of the woman youâre beginning to love is something else entirely.Â
Vi, despite her best efforts not to, makes you fall over the edge. Itâs more than her eager tongue and expectant mouth slurping at the vindication of your taste. The craving builds like an exposed vein. Her confidence irrevocably soars like a raven through the midnight sky. Even if Vi acts like sheâs done this before, you could pull the curiosity intertwined with naivety a mile away. Violet has never done this before, not with a woman at least, youâre sure of it. Sheâs a fast learner and such a great accomplishment should replenish such a reward.Â
With the energy you have left, you push your skirt down first, as Vi puts your underwear back in place. She doesnât stop touching you. She canât. There isnât much she feels she has control over, this arrangement being one of them. Sheâs good at this and Vi enjoys it. Every other part of her life, failure surrounds her, her ability not to please anyone in her life.Â
In a constant loop, she finds herself caught in the crossfire. Tugged between sister and lover, family and righteousness. Her enemy becomes her lover and lover becomes enemy â all of it poisons her blood and cures her core â and all of it makes her hear a voice she doesnât recognize but itâs just as true as the four walls surrounding her.Â
Oil and water.Â
Collecting like scars on her porcelain skin, Vi feels herself sink like an obliterating star. Thereâs a wonder settled in her chest, it feels heavy and weak, two incapable fists unable to surround her heart with anything but loss, betrayal even. She canât punch her way out of this one.
All of it wakes a fire in her chest, a dagger being punctured in her heart by the one Vi thought she could trust the most. She doesnât want to admit it so she doesnât.Â
But this? It feels easy.Â
She needs easy, light, even good. Maybe she doesnât deserve it.Â
Vi definitely doesnât, the sentence flows like a never-ending stream of waterfall continuously drowning her. The blood on her hands stains her perception of all things pure, she wonders how she even sees you at all. How you see her more vividly than anyone, possibly even Cait. Thereâs no judgment, no snarky remark of where she comes from. Even if she thought there had once been love, Vi questions it now.Â
When you come, it feels like a breath of fresh air, a golden wave washing over her sinful hands. Each stroke of gold, your grit and blind hopefulness soaks Viâs entity. This is what she wants. Thereâs nothing more than this, someone she could love, who loves her. Itâs uncomplicated but the feeling flees as you come to it. Vi canât help but feel regretful as you cover your ass, itâs such a pretty sight. She canât stop that sheâs greedy, youâve fed her for the first time in her life and now Vi feels full but sheâs only human.Â
A sinner always craves more.Â
She lets her touch linger on the gold between your thighs, pushing the white substance back into you before Vi lets you feel how wet you are, the dripping slick feels uncomfortable caged into cotton underwear and she wants you to feel it. The breath Vi hears are still heavy, impossibly heavy, and thereâs pride in hearing you center yourself, back pressed against her chest as Vi keeps you in place.Â
The pleasure within your body begins to slither away as you come back into the angel you are and not the sexual deviant bent over the woman who never pulls her punches.Â
âFelt good, yeah?â Vi says. Her angelic, sweeter than the cotton candy stick in your teeth, voice penetrates through. You like it too much. It shouldnât make you feel as good as it does. Desperately, you want to keep this casual but youâre even losing your footing.Â
You pride yourself on the lack of attachment; you donât need it. Never really had. But then with her it seems to change even faster than the seasons, your wall breaks somehow in between from spring to summer. With intent, you move around, her bright eyes have darken a bit but the fading light looks brighter than youâve ever seen it.Â
Fuck, Vi is making this difficult.Â
âYou could say that.â You speak softly, a tremble in your voice occurs but Vi says nothing but she does smirk. âCan I ask you something?âÂ
You turn around and suddenly Vi is staring at your exposed cleavage, the one you use to draw in patreons and to fill your pockets with as many tips as one can muster. Vi had been one, a faithful one trying to drink her away to the bottom of every bottle until she found something else for her. Something that didnât leave a burn in her throat.Â
âWhat is it?âÂ
âWas it your first time? The first night?âÂ
Sheepishly, Vi blushes. For a second, she contemplates lying but youâd see right through it. Right through her. It would only take one look in her blues and you would know.Â
âThat obvious?â Vi struggles with her words next but she manages to murmur a lame excuse. âStillwater didnât leave much time for this.âÂ
âAnd after?â You tease but the sincerity in your eyes soothes her.Â
âThere could have been but there wasnât. Some things just donât fit.â Oil and water is what she wants to say but she bites her tongue.Â
âYou should have told me. I wouldnât have been so, I donât know, selfish?âÂ
âThereâs nothing selfish about it. I wanted to make you feel good. Did you enjoy yourself?â This time she makes your skin feel hot. Fuck.Â
âYeah, I did enjoy myself,â you pressed against her as your arms loop around Viâs necks to bring her closer âbut I think itâs officially my turn to offer my services. Donât you think so?âÂ
Itâs how Vi ends up here, in your place, in your bed â soaked.Â
If there was one thing you knew, it was how to please someone. You managed to pull whimpers out of her she didnât even know existed. The desperate plea coming from her shivering body as she spilled in your mouth the first time sent a shiver down her spine, the band in her stomach snapping as you sloppily spit on her cunt, constant circles of pressure on her clit seeing nothing but your eyes look up at her.Â
Not letting a single drop go to waste, you fucked Vi through it, swallowing her completely. Vi shed the wrap covering her chest next. Her body bruised from the pit fights but you couldnât think of anyone more beautiful than her. You paid attention to her collarbones, neck, and her tits. Sucking on her nipples as Vi tries to come down from the high you placed her on, she doesnât think she ever will.Â
She tries not to think that she wanted these things with Caitlyn. Cait. Cupcake.Â
Vi only allows herself to think of her when sheâs dreaming, visions of what that could have been, what she used to be. All of it so trivial, so senseless when she thinks of you. How you make her feel is different and she tries not to think of what it all means.Â
One night.Â
Then two.Â
Now three.Â
In another life, maybe she was stronger, and didn't need to be wanted. Hell, even needed. She could wait for someone who she thought loves her but the other part of her doesnât want to think, she wants to feel. Vi likes feeling the softness of your skin, the light in your laughter, the swell of your exposed chest, the way your greedy eyes take in her abs, your soft lips kissing every part of her skin. The smooth, the scarred, the unworthy â you take it all in such stride.Â
âDo you want to stop? I think I lost you for a second.â You inquire to the pretty girl beneath you, her hands find your waist, creating makeshift circles on your hip bones.Â
âNo, thatâs the last thing I want.â Vi brings you to her lips, capturing your bottom lip, tongue invading your mouth. She tastes herself as your tongue melts with hers and the rest of her worries melt away. Itâs just you and her. âI want to keep going.âÂ
âThen tell me what you want, baby. Iâll do whatever you want. Itâs yours if you want it.âÂ
Itâs spoken as a reminder. All of this is her decision. Vi decides when she wants this, how she wants it, and youâre letting her take all of it in the way she needs. Vi tried not to think the first couple times, she never wanted her first time to be a big deal. Maybe with Caitlyn it could have been, but then she changed.Â
Vi thought maybe she could too. So, she did.Â
âCan youââ Vi stutters. Yet again her attention gets pulled to your tits, the softness of your stomach, she canât stop looking at you. As if sheâs trying to remember everything about you. Sheâs committed to it. Vi wants to remember the soft curves of your hips, the way you moan when she comes on your tongue.Â
The sight of you looking down at her makes she lose every rational thought, she wants to commit to memory forever. It wonât be something she easily forgets.Â
âGotta speak up, babygirl. Especially if you want me to keep my attention focused on this pretty cunt of yours.âÂ
You sit between her legs, tilting your head, you look at her glistening pussy, the way it shines with her cum and your sloppy spit. It would look even more exquisite with a little more. Taking a beat as you take your time, you gather enough in your mouth before spitting slowly, Vi whimpering as your spit makes contact with her lower pair of lips. She couldnât stop it, it slips and youâre grinning, hips desperately bucking to feel more of it.Â
âF-Fuck, need your cock. Please? I need it more than anything.â Vi confesses. Thereâs no need for dignity, especially if she keeps it and you wonât give her what sheâs itching for.Â
âYeah? Are you sure about it? Donât want you backing out just in case you canât be a good girl and take it.âÂ
She can take it but she canât take the countless teasing, trapped underneath the images drowning in her mind. This is what she wants, someone to dissolve into her, make her forget everything that has happened, just a pretty girl with some pretty tits who knows how to fuck. Right? Thatâs all this is. Itâs all it can be tonight. Her lip is busted from the fight tonight, knuckles bloodied and bruised, but you donât seem to mind all that much. Itâs all the same to you. Vi is all the same, thatâs been clear from the start.Â
Then, she decides to let her mind get shut off, let herself fall into you. You did know how to take care of her and tonight she would let you.Â
âLet me know if itâs too much, okay?âÂ
âI promise.âÂ
Once the harness is on, you wedge yourself in between her thighs, tattooed and toned, brave and brawny but she transforms into someone else entirely once youâre sinking inside her warm walls. You think about what it would feel like to feel her. Is she clenching around your cock? Would you feel the throbbing heartbreak of her clit? What you can hear is the whimper, uncontrollable and breathtaking, you slip further into her as you make home in her beautiful cunt.Â
Sheâs made it yours to take. Youâd do anything and everything for her, the thought alone scares so you do what you do best, you grind your hips slowly. Not wanting to overwhelm her too quickly, itâs the first time sheâs taking penetration and you want it to be good for her.Â
âYouâre so perfect. Doing so good for me, taking my cock like a fucking champ.â You whisper out, taking too much enjoyment in her getting lost in your soft thrusts. Viâs chest starts to heave as her hips roll into yours. Vi never even imagined wanting this, or that she could really have it with someone else. Itâs not like sheâs experienced, she has nothing to compare it to, but it feels incredibly intimate.Â
She likes how youâre being with her. Soft, gentle, delicate. Vi thought sheâd never want to feel that way, but maybe itâs just under the right circumstance in the right light.Â
âShit, shit, shitâ Vi chants as your hand grabs the headboard, giving her one particular powerful thrust. Perky tits spring to life, jolting against the sudden movement, her moan so fucking load, as you continue your movements. This time not as hard, but you pick up your pace, wanting to see if she would have any arguments against it but Vi doesnât. Profanities and whimpers leave her mouth as you split her on your cock. Face half-smashed into the pillow, trying to muffle her moans and you offer this one mercy.Â
Sheâs still shy.Â
Now is a good time as any to fuck it out of her.Â
âDo you want more Vi? Want me to goâŚfaster?â Placing a hand on her abdomen, the abs defined and clenching as you halt your thrust for a moment. âDo you wanna feel me in your stomach, baby?âÂ
âCan you even do that? Iâm not so sure youâre even capable. Looks like the rookie knows more moves than the veteran.â Vi bites back. But it doesnât last for long. Vi thinks she must have said the wrong thing, pushed you too far, you slipped off her but only to move her body to the edge of the bed, placing her on all fours right in front of a very convenient mirror.Â
âFine. Thought Iâd be sweet but that isnât what you really want. If you want to get treated like a whore, Iâll fuck you like one.â You take a beat to appreciate her wonderfully sculpted back, the artwork is truly exquisite. It feels so much like her but the foolish girl is smirking at you through the mirror.Â
You know youâve been caught ogling at her body, checking out every inch of her exposed body, you slap her ass in retaliation but she just grinds her ass back onto you.Â
âIâm waiting.â Teasingly, Vi arches her spine more. âWhereâs the whore fucking youâre muling about?âÂ
In one move, youâre inside her, fucking her beautiful face into the mattress. Never in her life has she felt so full, so good, so sweet. You grab her by the meat of her hips, bringing you back on her repeatedly. Vi wonders what she would give to have this, have you, and the thought scares her just as badly. She instead focused on you.Â
Tits bouncing as you thrust into her at a punishing pace. Divinely and so perfectly you, making her see stars, she feels trapped. Not in a punishing way, but in a way that has her never wanting to leave the entrapments of your coaxing cock. At this moment, this is where sheâs meant to be, just a toy for you to use.Â
But itâs more than what meets the eye. If Vi was just a toy, youâd be done after the first night. Tonight, you werenât using her for your own pleasure. You seemed perfectly content to give. The shine in her eyes gave you something only she could, edging you even further, a constant wave hitting Vi like a tidal wave making home on the shore.Â
âGod, youâre just too perfect. Fuck, just like that, take whatâs yours.â Bouncing back on the strap, the words fall from her lips before she canât stop them. Overflowing like a water fountain, itâs before she really even realizes what sheâs saying, it just feels right.Â
âMommy, please.âÂ
Vi has had those words on the tip of her tongue but not that youâre fucking her into a different dimension, she lets the aching plea slip from sinful lips. Itâs only once but itâs enough to set you off. You pull Vi up, her gorgeous back pressed against your chest, sitting on your thighs as you fuck up into her. Brutally, she takes everything you have to give.Â
Sweat glistening across her body, accentuating her chest as she tries to compose herself but you donât give her the option. No. It would be too easy, wouldnât it?
âI want you to watch, Violet. Watch yourself when you cum, be a good girl and show me how pretty you look, hm? Wouldnât wanna disappoint, Mommy, now would you?âÂ
Vi sucks on your middle digit, tongues swirling as she feels the tight band in her stomach, threatening to snap. Sheâs close. When the sensationally soft pad of your thumb applies pressure on her clit, Viâs done for.Â
âShit, oh my fucking god, baby baby babbyyyyy.â Incoherent murmurs and moans come in abundance as Vi bounces herself your cock, falling right apart as you toy with her clit, fucking her through the impending high. Your other arm tweaks around and up, fingers squeezing her tits, over stimulating her as she slumps against you.Â
Itâs the easiest task ever done. Submit to you, your skilled fingers, the power of your sinfully sensational thrusts, she comes all over you. The powerful demeanor weakens before your very eyes. When you gently move her back on the bed, slipping out of her, Viâs eyes begin to water from the loss.Â
The first time getting strapped down is always a lot to handle, youâd still taken it easier on her, too afraid you would push her too far but by the blissed out eyes, sheâd enjoyed herself. She had enjoyed herself and you couldnât really ask for much more.Â
When the both of you are cleaned up, Vi cuddles into your frame and you let her. Even if your first instinct is to push her away, saying something you know thatâll hurt her, none of it finds any merit on your tongue. For the first time, you find it difficult to turn away a pretty girl, her lips kissing your collarbones, up your neck until she finds home on your own lips, sloppily invading your mouth with your tongue.Â
Hitting you where it hurts, she moans your name in her mouth, unable to contain the neediness she feels around you. Itâs worse than Cait. This is pure addiction entangled with something carnal. Vi knows if she doesnât get to fuck you again, you fucking her cunt again, she might as well give up on life now.Â
âI could go again.âÂ
You chuckle. Of course she could.Â
âDonât know rookie, that might be all you can handle for the night.âÂ
Itâs a challenge and you know sheâll bite the bait.Â
With ease she gets on top of you, and just as if sheâs done it a hundred times, Vi sinks on your cock, âI think I can handle another ride, donât you?âÂ
#m'actually kinda proud of this one#i hope y'all like it :')#lmk what you think <3#vi#vi arcane#arcane league of legends#league of legends#vi smut#vi x reader#vi x you#vi arcane x reader#wlw post#wlw fanfiction#lesbian#violet arcane x reader#vi x fem reader#arcane x you#violet arcane
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gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]
in holy matriphony ch5. child's play
á° pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)
á° summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, and have been taking care of your sick mother ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket to more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance plan in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.
á° genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity, mentions of cigarettes, depression/anxiety; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s
á° warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!
á° chapter. 5/x
á° words. 4.8k
a/n. helloo my ihm friends! long time no see. hope you're all doing well and thank you so much to everyone who sent me kind messages about the whole ihm gojo ex wife thing haha. i really appreciate it :) i feel more confident about my writing decisions now, and that's all thanks to you guys! anyways, i will be posting shorter chapters for ihm going forward, so sorry if some chapters have slightly abrupt endings or stuff like that. i guess my goal is to post shorter chapters but more frequently! we'll see how it works out. anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter and see you at the bottom!!
nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 :: ch6 (pending)
Ever since admitting your mother into hospice, things have been calmer inside your mind. After passing the initial wave of agony that came with no longer hearing her voice down the hall or seeing her silhouette in her bedroom as you walked past it, you realized thatâŚa weight has been lifted off your shoulders. No longer setting alarms at the height of every other hour to remind your mother to take her medication, no longer viewing every interaction you had with her as some form of study you needed to jot down in a binder for her neurologistâs records, and no longer driving her to all of her chemotherapy appointments, only to leave them feeling like you purposefully just took your mother to a place where they sucked all the life out of her in exchange for the slim promise of giving it all back to her someday.
Maybe it was evident in the way your shoulders felt less tense as you rolled them back, tilting your neck to the side and no longer feeling the painful strain that tugs a wince onto your face. The other day, you caught yourself humming a song as you drove to work. Your skin, usually feeling cracked and dry from stress and exhaustion, now has a slight plumpness to it like before. A more youthful glow, like the version of yourself you were before your mother became sick. The version of you that so quickly deteriorated, and one you didnât even know still existed somewhere within you.Â
There has also been time for hobbies. Rarest of occasions, you find yourself sauteing some yellow and white peaches in a saucepan over medium heat in Gojoâs kitchen, humming that song once again thatâs been stuck in your head. The sundress youâre wearing matches the pink of the syrup that pools at the bottom of the pan, and you feel like youâre living your cottage core dreams in this brief moment of reprieve youâve allowed yourself to fall into.
The sound of slippers tapping down onto the hardwood floor startles you out of your gleeful trance, and you turn your neck to the right to see a pajama-clad messy-haired Gojo shuffling his feet across the open area into the kitchen with a dark black mug in his hand.
âWhy arenât you dressed??â you ask him in a panic.
âIâll get dressed later,â he tells you dismissively as he grabs the glass pitcher of coffee from where the coffee machine was nestled up against one of the counter corners.
âYouâre stressing me out. Your mom told us to be there in two hours,â you say, putting your hands on your hips in disapproval as you hear the sizzle of the peaches in the saucepan.Â
He entirely ignores you, choosing to instead drag his gaze down the form of your body. âWoooow, twice this month I get to see you in a cute dress,â he comments, pouring coffee into his mug but his eyes are still on you, âlucky me.â
âOh Shut. Up,â you sneer at him with a harsh roll of your eyes, âyour fake flattery might work on the lonely middle-aged women you seduce to make a living, but it wonât work on me.â
His shoulders push back before he slumps them slightly, his brow lifting with confusion. âItâs not fake though? I mean it. You look really nice right now.â
You point an accusatory sugar-syrup coated wooden spatula at him. âYouâve just been conditioned by the patriarchy to get a boner at the sight of a woman in a kitchen.â
âWhat��...noâ...why do you always have to say stuff like that whenever I compliment you? Canât you just accept it?â
You cross your arms over your chest. âI refuse to be flattered by an insolent man like you.â
He sighs, setting his coffee mug down on the counter, and you watch the way the fringe of his hair hangs over his forehead as he gazes into the contents, swirling it around with a loose grip on the handle. âIs this how itâs going to be everyday? I try to be nice, and youâ...well, you know, are you.â
âWell who else should I be?â
His eyes lift up to meet yours, the slightest of a cheeky grin on his face as his eyes wander down the form of you again. âI donât know. Someone a littleâŚsofter? Like, youâve got this really pretty dress on, and then youâre telling me off about patriarchy-induced boners. Itâs a little, uh, contradictory?â
You gasp. âYouâre trying to control me. I knew it. You are poisoned by the patriarchy.â
âWhat?â
Your eyes narrow at him. âYou have this image of a perfect and cute little wife, whoâs gonna wear pretty dresses all the time, and bake stuff in the kitchen, and get all blushy when you tell her she looks beautiful, and you expect her to have this soft little personality that never argues with you or disagrees with youâŚALL BECAUSE OF THE PATRIARCHY!!!â
â...Iâ...Okay, youâve lost me.â
You let out a hmph! noise. âCanât even discern his own brainwashing. Sad.â
âAll of this just because I tried to tell you that you look nice?â
âI know what your ulterior motives are, you creep.â
His eyes spark a little at that, the corner of his mouth tugging up into a cheeky grin as he sets the coffee mug down onto the marble counter and he straightens his spine. You blink, watching with confusion as he crosses the distance between the two of you, to where youâre taking a small few steps backwards until your lower back presses against the edge of the island countertop. He cages you into the surface with his frame, followed by the palms of his hands sliding over the marble on both sides of you, and you feel his forearms press against the curve of your waist as he traps you in with no way out.
âS-Satoru,â you stutter, looking up at him with wide eyes, âwhat are you doing?â
âWhat do you think Iâm doing?â he says, his voice deeper with a nonchalance that has you shiver, his gaze dropping to your lips when you part them slightly.
âT-The patriarââ you squeak out, but he suddenly dips his head down to kiss you.
Your breath hitches in your throat, eyes immediately closing when he moves his lips against yours, one of his strong arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer to him and your hesitation is something that only lasts a brief second before you find yourself kissing him back. Some noise leaves his throat, deep and raw and sounding pleasantly surprised as he captures your lips more fervidly now, his hands smoothing down to hold your hips and his teeth slightly nip at your bottom lip.Â
You grab a fistful of his shirt, unsure of whether you want to pull him closer to you or push him away, but the moan that you mumble against his lips only makes his grip on your hips even stronger, fingers digging into the softness through the thin fabric of your dress.Â
The oven suddenly starts beeping, startling you and you pull away from the kiss with a gasp, eyes rounded as you look up at him, but his are lidded and dilated as his gaze remains glued to your lips.Â
With a heaving chest, you try to push him away by a weak fist to his sternum but heâs unrelenting.
âYou taste sweet,â he says, like some comment he noted in his head but accidentally voiced out loud.
âIâ...â you inhale sharply, âI just ate three macerated peaches.â
âUh-huh,â he barely acknowledges before leaning in to get another taste, but you push him away harsher this time.
His hands let go of your hips entirely, finally breaking out of that kiss-induced trance he was in, but he still remains close to you in proximity, so much so to where you can feel the heat from his body. Itâs comforting almost, radiating through the soft cotton of his long sleeve shirt, and you find yourself subconsciously leaning towards him before you snap out of it too, and rock your weight back against the island countertop.
You cross your arms over your chest, hoping the flush to your cheeks isnât showing. âOh okay so we just casually kiss now?â
He shoves his hands into his plaid pajama pant pockets, leaning away from you slightly. âFor as long as I can get away with it, yeah.â
âYou are breaking the rules.â
âYou never said no kissing.â
âI said no touching.â
âEhhh kissing isnât really touching, though, is it?â
âYou sound stupid.â
âI always sound stupid to you.â
The oven starts beeping again, and you realize itâs long been preheated to the setting you had placed earlier. You slip away from him with haste, feeling his gaze on you as you press a button on the oven to turn the alarm off, and you stare at the handle for a moment or two to calm the beating of your heart down.Â
Your eyes catch sight of something on the side of the fridge. A little magnet made of rubber that has the word London on it as well as the design of the Westminster Cathedral with golden accents. You recall that Gojo went on a trip to London recently, and that he didnât bring you back any souvenirs from there like he did for your other neighbors. And you want to pretend, you want to shove it down, that incessantly childish feeling that wonders why he didnât bring you anything back. You want to continue to pretend like it doesnât hurt your feelings. Something so miniscule and small. But youâ...well, you canât.
You spin around to face him. âDo you hate me?â you bluntly ask.
He blinks at you. âHuh?â
âDo you, what, I donât know, think Iâm annoying or something?â
He shrugs with his hands still in his pockets. âI mean, yeah, I do think youâre annoying sometimes. But in a silly way. Like weâre just pals horsinâ around, yâknow?â
You snarl at him, putting your hands on your hips and narrowing your gaze until heâs hardly even visible anymore. âNo. I actually find you annoying. Like, wanna-run-you-over-with-a-bus annoying. You just have horrendous social awareness and think that everyone loves you.â
âYou actually donât like me?â he asks, like he canât even believe that someone wouldnât.
âYes,â you say, ânow get out of my way.â You make an attempt to push past him, purposefully knocking your shoulder into him to assert dominance but he is unfortunately much bigger than you and so all it does is make you stumble ungracefully from the recoil.
He quickly grabs your arm to steady you, and you glare up at him before yanking yourself away and then step backwards until your back hits the fridge.
He studies your demeanor for a second before taking a deep inhale, and then lets it all go in a heaving sigh. âWhat do I have to do to get you to lighten up a bit?â he asks.
âYou really want to know?â you sneer at him.
âYes,â he says with a slight hint of frustration in his tone.
You cross your arms. âPay for the fucking fence.â
He blinks at you, confusion replacing whatever frustration was previously decorating his tone. âWhat?â
âThe fence,â you reiterate with a step forwards towards him, âthe one I built six months ago. The one where you laughed in my face when I told you to help pay for it.â
He leans forward. âYeah. Because I never wanted that fence built. Like I said, it fucked up the roots on my avocado tree. You shouldâve asked me before building it. In fact, itâs illegal to build a fence without joint consent of both neighboring property owneââ
âOh my god, okay, see? This is why I canât stand you,â you snarl at him and make another move to get past him but he easily steps in front of you to keep you from going anywhere.
With a sigh, he relents. âFine, Iâll pay for the fence.â
You try to keep the twitching muscles of your face still as you resolutely stare up at him, pressing your lips into a thin line. Through a strained tone, you say, âNo. I donât want you to pay for it anymore.â
He lifts a brow, utterly bewildered at this point. âHuh?â
âNow it just feels like pity. And I donât want your pity money.â
âTwo seconds ago, you did.â
âYeah, well, whatever. That was two seconds ago.â
âSoâŚlet me get this straight, you donât want me to pitch in?â
âNo. I want you to have wanted to pitch in SIX MONTHS AGO.â
âOkay but what the fuck am I supposed to do about that now?â
âNOTHING!!!â you finally snap at him, the shrill to your voice startling him slightly to where you see his shoulders jump, and his eyes are now rounded blue as he looks at you. âThereâs nothing you can do about it, thereâs nothing you can do to get me to âlighten upâ or âact softerâ or whatever the fuck kind of damage control you aim to achieve with me due to your pestering incessant need to be liked by every fucking person you come across. So just deal with the fact that I hate you and let me do it in peace.â
Heâs silent for what feels like a long time as he blinks at you, his bottom lip pushing up slightly in a way that suggests heâs almost impressed by your little outburst, then he takes a step forward, and in that one large stride, heâs closed any distance between the two of you. Your back is up against the frigid steel of the fridge, your heels tucked under the warm rubber at the foot of it, and youâre looking up at Gojo as he towers over you, his hands still annoyingly and relaxedly shoved into his pockets.
âDo you think itâs gonna be a problem that I think youâre kinda hot when youâre mad?â he asks you.
A small puff of air leaves your lips, like you just canât believe the audacity, but also having him this close to you suddenly made it a little harder to breathe. âCâ...Can you just be fucking serious for one second?â
His head dips down, the fringe of his hair tickling your forehead, tip of his nose slightly brushing against yours, but his gaze never falls to your lips. âYou think Iâm not being stupid fuckinâ serious when I say that youâre hot?â
âSââ your breath hitches in your throat, and his gaze finally falls to the lick you pass over your lips, âSatoruââ
Like God himself answered to your (cognitively dissonant) prayers, the bell rings, and Gojo leans himself away from you, straightening his spine so he can glance over his shoulder towards the door, a slight look of irritation on his face through the furrow of his brow.
You blink up at him. âAâ...Are you expecting someone?â
He rubs the back of his neck. âNo. Donât think so.â He sighs before shuffling around the kitchen island and across the dining hall towards the entryway of the house, and you peer at the sight from across the hall.
When he opens the door, you see Sana standing outside, dressed in mom jeans and a t-shirt with her black Coach purse slung around her shoulder, arms crossed, and you barely register the fact that she looks pissed.
âSana?â Gojo says, âwhatâs up.â
She entirely ignores him when she catches sight of you, pushing right past him and into the family room that you were currently finding solace in.
âYou,â she points at you, storming right up to your personal space, âwhat the hell did you say to Juno when you were babysitting her?!â
âH-Huh??â you squeak out, taking a step backwards. âWhat are you talking about?â
âYou told her to fight kids at school?!â she snarls at you, and your eyes widen.
âWhat?â you say, your face twisting with confusion, âIâ...I never said that. I just said that she should stand up for herself if she needs to.â
Sana inhales deeply with rage, leaning back and jutting her hip out as she crosses her arms again. âYeah, well, I had to pick her up early from school today because the principal called and told me she shoved a little girl on the playground during recess, and now sheâs facing suspension.â
Gojo approaches suddenly from your periphery, standing in front of you as he faces Sana. You stand on your tiptoes to peer at her over his shoulder. âWhat? Why would Juno do something like that?
You hear Sana start to tap her foot impatiently against the hardwood floor, and then she turns her head away from Gojo as a slight hmph! noise leaves her throat. âThe why is irrelevant.â
You poke your head out from behind Gojo and glare at her, but then Gojo turns around suddenly to look at you.
ây/n,â he says, âwhatâs going on?â
âIââ you start, glancing at Sana again who now has a solemn look on her face with pursed lips. You glance back at Gojo, whoâs looking at you with confusion and anticipation. A heat spreads down your neck from the attention of the both of them on you, and youâre not sure what the smart thing to say is, so you figure youâll just tell the truth as it is. â...I just didnât want her getting bullied and thinking she canât stick up for herself.â
At that, you see Gojoâs shoulders stiffen. âBullied?â he repeats after you, then quickly turns towards Sana, âwhat does she mean, bullied? Junoâs getting bullied at school?â
Sana faces him full-on, raising a stern pointed finger between the two of them âNo. Satoru. Stop. You always do this. This has nothing to do with you, so donât even start. Itâs not a big deal, letâs not make it one.â
âThe fuck do you mean itâs not a big deal? Sheâs getting bullied at school, and you want her to just suck it up?â he asks, venom dripping from his tone.Â
âItâs for her benefit!â Sana exclaims. âJun and I have spent months trying to get her into this school! We donât want her getting kicked out.â
âYâknow, Iâmââ you stutter, âIâm gonnaâ...Iâm just gonna go upstairs,â you say, âthis seems like a family matter. I think you guys should probably just settle this on your owââ
âNo,â Gojo says, pointing to the couch that you were standing in front of, âsit down.â
You sit.
Gojo turns to face Sana again, and although you canât see his face, you imagine heâs pissed off from the way Sanaâs shoulders drop slightly and her sharp expression is cut into a more sheepish one.
âWho cares if Juno is suspended for sticking up for herself? Itâs the teachersâ fault for not making sure sheâs safe,â he says.
âShoving other kids is not the solution.â
âWell if you fuck around, then you find out. Kids are too soft these days.â
âThis is not the 90s, Satoru.â
You watch the back and forth between the two of them for the better part of an entire minute, feeling uneasy in the hostile environment of the room, but thereâs a sense of underlying familiarity between the two, one that is recognizable amongst family. And you feel rather foreign, but then remember that, technically speaking, now that youâre married to Gojo, this is your family too.
Amongst the arguing of the adults, none of you noticed that Juno had gotten out of the car in the driveway and was now standing in the doorframe of the front entrance. She looks scared and guilty, fidgeting with her fingers in front of her, and you notice her scrapes and bruises that you tended to last week were now mostly healed.Â
Gojo catches sight of her, and you see his shoulders relax. âJuno, câmere.â
With the permission, she instantly runs towards him and into his arms from where he was crouched down to the floor in order to welcome her, and then she starts sobbing.
âIâmâhic,â she cries, âIâm soâhicâIâm so sowwyyy Uncle ToruâŚIâmâhicâIâm sorry mommyyyy.âÂ
You see Sana sigh and she makes a move to brush Junoâs tear-dampened hair out of her face when Gojo pulls her away from his shoulder by a delicate hold of her bony little shoulders.
âJuno. Listen. If people are being mean to you, then you do exactly as your auntie y/n said. You stand up for yourself. And if that doesnât work, then you cuss at them and threaten to shove their faces into the dirt until they run away with their tails between their legs. Do you understand me?â Gojo tells her.
Sana gives you a pointed look.
âOh, Iââ you put your hands up in front of you, âI didnât say any of that last part.â
âDo you understand me?â Gojo repeats again, and Juno nods her head slowly before she falls back into him and soaks his shirt with tears. âIâm soowwwwwyyyyyy.â
Gojo pats her back a few times to comfort her, and your heart breaks for the little girl. Itâs bad enough to be bullied at school, but then to be reprimanded by your mother the one time you stand up for yourselfâŚyou can imagine how emotionally exhausting that would be for a five-year-old.Â
Juno sniffles, rubbing her snot all over the cotton of Gojoâs shirt, and then pulls her face away to rub at her eye with a weakly closed fist. âIâhicâI justâŚI just wanted him to feelâhicâthe same hurt.â
âHuh? Who?â Gojo asks.
âThe boy,â Juno says, âthe one that shoved me today.â
âIt was a boy?!?!?!â Gojo yells. âAlright. Thatâs it. Iâm grabbing my bat.â
âSatoru.â Sana deadpans.
Sana and Gojo continue to bicker about the ethics of threatening five-year-old boys with baseball bats, going back and forth about how Gojo wasnât actually going to do anything but just wanted to instill fear (heâs lying), while Sana isnât exactly sold on a single pacifist thing that he says, and you sigh, because you realize youâve become invested in one of, what you feel like will become many, of their family quarrels.
Juno sneaks around Gojoâs legs and comes up to you while the arguing is taking place in the background, and she gently taps your knee as youâre seated on the couch. âAuntie y/n,â she whispers.
You rub an eye crustie from her face and then hold her hand in yours. âYes?â
âThank you.â
âMm? For what?â
She smiles at you, her cheeks pink and flush from crying but rounded now in glee. âMy mommy and daddy spoke a lot today at home for first time in long time because of me. Because I listenâded to you. Thank you.â
Your eyes narrow. âWhat do you mean by that, sweetheart?â
Why wouldnât Sana and Jun be on normal talking terms? What does Juno mean that itâs been a long time? What exactly was going on at home?
âJuno,â Sanaâs voice interrupts your thoughts, her arms crossed across her chest, âcâmon. Letâs go.â She points a stern finger at Gojo. âSeriously. I mean it. No baseball bats or rodent traps involved. Iâll talk to the teachers and sort something out.â She glances at you, that strict look on her face now dissolving into one of pure exhaustion. One you can imagine only a mother can face. âSee you later at dinner, you two.â
Juno runs up to her mom and grabs onto her outreached hand, and you see Gojo ruffle her hair as she walks past him, her giggles ringing in the air, and then he sees them out the door.Â
The air is awkward, at least to you, the second he closes the door, and when he turns around to face you, your body stiffens up.
He leans back onto the front door, crossing his arms over his chest. âThanks,â he says, âfor telling Juno to stick up for herself.â
You blink at him. âWell. I donât feel too great about it at the moment, to be honest.â
He sighs. âI just think that Jun and Sana are raising her to beâŚkinda meek. I wish theyâd teach her to be more confident and take up space.â
âMhm,â you nod. Because you agree. Little girls need to learn how to be that way at a young age, because the world is seldom very kind to them.
âWell, what you said to her is what I wouldâve said to her anyways,â he says.
You roll your eyes, standing up from the couch and heading back into the kitchen to presume your work on your peach cobbler. âI never told her to shove kidsâ faces into the dirt. But, uh, sure, I guess so.â
You see Gojo enter the kitchen too in your periphery, but you donât give him any glance or look or attention. From what you can see as you stir around your macerated peaches in a Pyrex bowl, heâs leaning against the island counter about three feet away from you, his hands shoved in his pockets, and heâs watching you. A slight warmth radiates in your cheeks, but you attempt to ignore the nerves by being hypnotized by the pink syrup that pools at the bottom of the bowl.
My mommy and daddy spoke a lot today at home for first time in long time because of me. Because I listenâded to you. Thank you.
An unsettling feeling takes over your senses. It could be the past few years youâve spent walking on eggshells around your mother, or the way youâve become so keen to her energy as a way of staying on top of any shift in her symptoms, any single sign of disease progression, any clue that she wasnât getting better. Any clue that she wasnât doing okay. And you feel a sense of dread, because that skill, you realize, has now made you aware of similar circumstances in the people around you.
Not to mention, you are a child of divorce. You know what that fear feels like.
You just want to know if Juno feels safe at home.
âHey, umâŚâ you start, turning slightly to finally face Gojo, your eyes hesitantly flickering up to meet his gaze, âwhen was the last time you saw your brother-in-law? And with Sana?â
He raises a brow at you. âI just saw them last weekend for one of Junoâs dance recitals.â
âAhâŚI see,â you say. You purse your lips together.Â
Right. Kids say things all the time. They believe in Santa Claus and think that blueberry pancakes are called blubbery pancakes. And they sometimes read too into things, and they sometimes read too little. Surely, things must be okay. Maybe Sana and Jun had had a little argument with some stubbornly thawing cold shoulders, a demeanor that was noticed by their child, and now things have resumed to normal. That was normal. Part of every family. âThatâs good to knowâŚâÂ
You turn away from Gojo to stare back down into the bowl of macerated peaches again. With a furrowed brow, you close your eyes tightly to try to shake the chilly feeling in your bones, and you feel better when you open them again. The slightly numb sensation in your hand dissipates and you have enough dexterity to mix the peaches around in the bowl.
âI wonder what news they want to share with us over dinner,â you say, to quell the awkward silence.
âHm?â Gojo hums, and you see him turn around face the counter now, hovering over the bowl of raw crumble topping you had mixed together, prodding at it with the wooden spoon. âOh, theyâre moving.â
Your head snaps to look at him. âW-What?â
âYeah,â he nonchalantly affirms, scooping up a spoonful of the crumble. âThey wanted to up-size, and move a little closer to the school that Junoâs at. I found them a nice place about an hour from here on the outskirts of the city. They just signed the papers a couple weeks ago.â And then he shoves the spoon into his mouth.
âOhâŚwow,â you say. âOkayâŚâ
âDamn,â Gojo says with surprise laced in his tone, "this is really good.â Heâs staring into the bowl in awe and then scoops up some more crumble with a spoon.
You blink at him, irritated that heâs eating all your ingredients without even asking, and before youâve even finished your dessert. Itâs like he was born to piss you off.
You walk up to him and yank the bowl away, âGimme that.â Then you pull it into the divot of your waist possessively and glare at him.Â
He sighs, and then says something out loud that youâre sure he meant to keep in his head:
âIâll get used to it.â
.
.
.
[end of chapter 5]
a/n. it feels so strange to post such a short chapter bahaha hopefully the ending isn't too abrupt. but hope you enjoyed! i'm so sorry ab the slow burn in this series aaa but i can try to assure you that it'll all be worth it hopefully lol i'm really excited for what i have planned for this series!! alsooo sorry if there are errors or anything, i'm trying to spend less time editing since it really stalls me n leads to writer's block lol. hope to see you in the next one :) much love! - ellie
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â pairing. oscar piastri x verstappen!reader
â summary. falling in love has never been on your radar, but when the cute, quiet guy finds his place in your heart, you try to cherish the rare, yet beautifully domestic moments. that is, until you hit the four years together mark and realise that your family probably doesnât know.
GROWING UP YOU WERE CONVINCED BY THE circumstances that being loved must be earned. you had never put any thought into that â it was just the things were, at least thatâs how you were brought up. if you did something your parents didnât like, you were given a cold shoulder and â from time to time â a silent treatment. as a teenager, you came up with a⌠pretty saddening conclusion that love wasnât worth it in the end, so you simply avoided any kind of romantic relationships.
to be completely honest, it wasnât a hard task. all you ever wanted since you entered the awkward phase of your life, when you could make your own decisions, one of which was leaving your household as soon as it was only possible.
you had departed from your home around the age of fourteen, after lots of begging to let you study abroad had taken place. you were the youngest out of the three. your brother was already in formula one, when you were wearing a plaid skirt, a merlot blazer with the schoolâs logo, a matching necktie and a few more things that made max and victoria call you a posh, british girl. you didnât mind it, you were glad to be out of the house, slightly distancing yourself from your family overtime.
the day you met oscar took place on the day of your eighteenth birthday. you and some friends had gone out to celebrate not only your birthday, but also your acceptance to the kingâs college in london, giving you an opportunity to pursue your dreams of becoming a doctor. you were yet to tell your family about it, having lied to them about the date, wanting to have this moment to yourself.
you went out to a few bars before ending up in a club as the girls secretly wanted you to find a guy to go home with, since the last year and a half you had been constantly overworking yourself to get into your dream university, (âyou got the school in the bag, now get some lad to relieve the pressureâ).
oscar had been racing in formula renault at the time, but ever since you left the netherlands, racing hadnât been on your mind for a long time â it probably should, considering your big brother was two points behind kimi räikkĂśnen last season, however you had a feeling as if racing was the reason you were so disconnected from your family. your dad was racing in formula one, your mom was karting, your brother has been racing in formula one as well, and your sister shared the interest, while the love for partaking in the sport never appeared in your heart.
your chest was slightly pressed against the countertop, smiling at the bartender with a drunken look in your eyes, while he was preparing your umpteenth jägerbomb. jesus christ, you really needed that break. the alcohol running through your veins was really hitting you already as your body couldnât stay still even for a second â your hips swaying to the beat. that was until you looked around the place and your eyes landed on a boy your age. he was wearing a white, printless t-shirt that clung to his body, turning your quick look-around into a staring situation.
if sober, your thoughts would stay where they should â in your mind, however⌠you were far from being sober. the proper social etiquette you were taught over the years at your boarding school were long forgotten as you shamelessly ogled the boy. he was simply gorgeous, breathtaking some would say.
âgals, i think i just saw an angel sent from heaven just for me.â you announced, your tone causing your friends to chuckle in amusement. you sound like a person who thought they just invented a cure for cancer. âi need to throw myself at him.â
âoh my god.â aliyah, your roommate from school, laughed, throwing her head back. it was hilariously unexpected to hear you say a thing like that â the girls have heard you talk about the boys you had hooked up with before, even intoxicated, but never this. you had never been so⌠so not-you. âthis-this is the funniest thing, like, ever.â
âwhich one?â inaya scrunched her brows as she looked around, searching for a guy who could fit her imagination of a guy you would call an angel. she groaned in disappointment, once you discreetly pointed in oscarâs direction. âa white guy? seriously, yn?â
âi canât help it.â you muttered, your shoulders slumping as the alcohol intensified every single emotion you have felt during the night. âi wish he would have my baby. or like a thousand of them.â your sighed, dropping your hand to your stomach, while one of the girls bursted out laughing at the absurdity of your words.
inaya could easily recall the day before your acceptance letter came in and your speech to the group chat about romantic attraction, relationships, kids, and commitment, concluded with confidence (âiâm gonna be that one, successful aunt that hates kids, but not that one niece.â).
âthey would look cute together, though.â priya giggled, stealing glances at your boy, as if she wanted to hit on him, too. then, the thought of priya with your boy disappeared from your mind at the image of your best friend and her long-time boyfriend. right, she and james had been together for the longest time. âyou should shoot yourââ the universe was not having the girl speak, because a guy, seemingly confident, approached your table.
âhey, i hope youâre having a good evening.â he started in a nice tone, the girl beside you â the last of the four, ciara, seemed to melt against your shoulder, looking at the boy with heart eyes. âsorry to bother you, girls. my friend, that one over there, thinks youâre really gorgeous and would love to get your number, but heâs a bit shy.â he joked, having pointed to oscar, turning the second part of his monologue to you.
before any of you couldâve responded to him, a guy â the same one you called an angel â walked up to the six of you, groaning when he realised that his friend already had done what he threatened to do. âjesus, arthur.â the blonde ran a hand over his face, groaning in exasperation.
âiâm so sorry for him.â he let out a small sigh. âi told him not to bother you, but heâs like a toddler.â he tried to explain, earning a few quiet chuckles from all of you.
âah, thereâs nothing to be sorry for.â priya grinned. âyou two look like you havenât had a drop of alcohol yet, maybe wanna join us?â
oscar wanted to refuse, out of courtesy â he didnât really care about the embarrassment brought upon him by the monegasque, although the look on your face was making his heartbeat quicken. heâd never felt like this before, it was crazy. he just saw you for the first time and his mind was filled to the brim with small ideas to impress you that were supposed to be shoved away as he opened his mouth to politely refuse the invitation. arthur, however, had different plans and sat next to the ginger haired girl, who quickly engulfed him in a conversation.
looking at him so up close was almost a life-altering experience. for the first fifteen minutes you had to remind yourself to breathe, so enamoured with the boy sitting next to you. after that period, you got even more entranced with oscar. once he started his small conversation with you, you couldnât help but hang onto every single word that left his lips.
youâve never felt like this before, so interested in what a boy had to say to you. you forgot about the detail that, if it wasnât a joke, oscar thought you were gorgeous and loved to have your number. the conversation with him was easy, you didnât have to do anything special to prolong it, neither did he. by the time the watch on your phone was showing three in the morning, james had already picked priya, inaya and aliyah up, leaving you and ciara with the two boys. you went out to a club to have fun, drink, and dance a bit, but it all was thrown into oblivion once piastri started a conversation with you.
YOU COULD EASILY RECALL THE MOMENT YOU realised that life without oscar wasnât what youâd ever want. it happened after a few weeks of constant texting, late-night calls and a bit less meetings at his/your place. at the tiniest thought of falling in love with him, your stomach started to hurt, because love wasnât something you believed to have a happy ring to. your parents were divorced and they took it out on you and your siblings, sophie, your mom, wasnât as bad as your dad, though.
oscar knew about your stance towards love, but took it upon himself to change it â and he suprisingly did. there wasnât a thing oscar could do wrong to make you disappointed. despite the hectic schedule he had, you always spent at least ten minutes on the phone to just check in, which was the best part of your day most of the time.
medicine at kingâs was killing you every day to the point, where once oscar was able to visit you, he had always made you something to eat, drew a bath for the two of you and took a nap with you. he never complained. for as long as he remembered, most of his days were fast paced â there were little to no slower moments in his life, so despite your insecurities that he mustâve hated you for being too exhausted to spend time with him, he liked just feeling your presence next to him.
your friends, despite the constant teasing, couldnât be happier for you. you often denied yourself stuff that you probably should experience in life, as a result of growing up in a household where love was conditional. they knew that, it wasnât a rare sight to see you crumble under pressure, before inevitably breaking down in front of them, so seeing you blossoming like that was not only refreshing, but also relieving.
you were starting your fourth year at the university, while oscar was in the middle of his first season of formula one. before the australian, you werenât a fan, yet you couldnât help but bawl your eyes out in pride and happiness, when oscar called you to tell you that he had signed with mclaren.
you had already known about the signing, when oscar came to your shared apartment later, so despite an upcoming test, you spent most of your free afternoon baking him a small cake to show him that his dreams are as important to you as they are to him. you definitely werenât a great baker, but you tried your best and made a small, lemon flavoured cake with a light, orange-ish congratulations, formula one driver on top.
âbaby, iâm home.â your boyfriend called out, entering the apartment as he was taking off his shoes, placing them on a shoe stand. you smiled to yourself at the sound of his voice, head turning to look at him. his hair disheveled, a stubble on his chin, and a slight hint of tiredness in his eyes that seemed to disappear once his gaze fell onto you.
âhey.â you replied as oscar approached you, sneaking his arm around your waist and placing a soft kiss on your lips. âi made you something.â you whispered, tilting your chin to have a better view of his face.
âyeah?â he asked, intrigued. âwhat did you make?â
âi baked a cake.â you nodded, almost as if it was something you did every other day. âbecause my boyfriend is officially a formula one driver. iâm super proud of you, you know? and itâs mclaren, too!â you added, a beam creeping up on your lips, your hands cupping his cheeks as you pressed lots and lots of light kisses against his entire face.
a chuckle rumbled in his throat at your silly display of affection, pulling you closer with ease. âi still canât believe it.â he smiled in between the smooches. âi couldnât have done it without you.â his voice dropped to a whisper laced with sincerity.
âah, this is simply bullshit.â you responded, scrunching your nose. âyouâre a great driver, baby. you wouldâve done it anyway.â you matched the quietness of his tone, bringing your hand to run your fingers through his messy blond hair. âeveryone knows that, especially zak and andreas.â
âyou did help, though.â he muttered, relishing the feeling of your fingers in his hair. âyou keep me sane.â his words earned him a quiet giggle from you. you tilted your head to the side, shaking it lightly, pulling him into a kiss.
it started off slowly and gently, now both of oscarâs arms wrapped around your waist, caging you into his loving embrace. before you knew it, his hands were squeezing your sides, sitting you on the kitchen counter, his body pressing against yours as your lips moved in sync. the pent up stress, pressure and exhaustion slowly dissolving, oscarâs stiff shoulders loosening as your fingers tugged on a strand of his hair.
his tongue has moved past your lips, when you heard a sound, making the two of you pull away from each other in reluctance. oscarâs mom often texted him, when you were either making out on the couch or having sex, almost as if she had a hunch about what the two of you were doing. as a result, you came up with a system that whose phone would go off and interrupt you, the person would have to do something in return for the other one. despite the annoyance of being interrupted, you beamed, knowing that it couldnât be your phone. that was, until you noticed the smirk creeping up on your boyfriendâs face.
ânot mine.â
a loud groan rumbled in your throat, unhappy with the result as oscar passed you your phone from the table. you let out a dutch curse word under your breath, noticing the contactâs name on the notification.
max.
you havenât spoken to your brother since the end of that yearâs season, when you called to congratulate him on his second title. making so much distance between you and your family ever since you were fourteen and in a boarding school was hunting you now. no one from your family knew about your relationship with oscar, despite being together since mid-july 2019. you didnât want to change it, not because you were ashamed of oscar â that, you could never be â but because you were afraid it would ruin everything between the two of you, and deep down inside you, you knew that your heart would shatter into pieces if that ever happened.
oscar understood where you were coming from, he knew how much of an outcast you considered yourself to be as a kid, and how much work you put into getting away from the town you grew up in. he didnât mind that he didnât officially met your blood family, he knew that the friends you went to school with were closer to you and at that time of your life mattered more, so he couldnât complain, knowing that this family accepted and liked him. your mood significantly dropped, oscarâs hand gently squeezing your thigh for some reassurance, nodding silently, a way of saying that you should call your brother back.
some people would say that your boyfriend was the reason behind the poor connection between you and your siblings, but he was actually the one, who often â subconsciously â made you reply to their texts and calls more, or even calling them yourselves to just check in as you often sent gifts to your two nephews and penelope. although you thought that it was too late to repair the relationship with max and victoria, oscar always told you that itâs nonsense (and he was, indeed, right).
âhey, sorry, i was studying. a cardiology exam coming up soon.â you explained as your brother picked up the call, your voice slightly sheepish as you avoided your boyfriendâs look.
âin december?â max asked. âi was calling to ask if youâre coming back for christmas?â
you sighed softly at the question, knowing that your reaction would probably upset your brother, which you didnât want to happen.
âuh.â you started. âiâiâm not sure, yet.â an incoherent mumble came from the other side of the line, as you started to pick on the skin of your bottom lip. âi think i am, but not for too long. i have an early flight on the twenty seventh.â
you could see the smile rising on oscarâs lips upon your answer, you were conflicted whether or not you should go back. you missed your brother, sister and mom, but coming home always resulted in your sour mood and not-too-great memories from each year as you always ended up fighting with your dad over something insignificant that made you come back to london sooner than planned. this time, you were supposed to lay down the boundaries and try to have a good time, before flying to melbourne to spend some time with the piastris.
âit would mean a lot to all of us to see you.â max replied in a gentle tone, not wanting to accidentally guilt trip you into coming. âwe miss spending time with you, yn.â
âi know, iâm sorry.â your voice broke, sadness washing over your body as you ran a hand down your face to stop yourself from getting too upset. itâs your boyfriendâs big day, you shouldnât be crying over your familial situation, when it was such a happy day for him.
âi miss you all too.â you whispered, piastriâs hand gently moved up and down your thigh in a soothing mood, helping you calm down a bit. despite not understanding a thing you said since the conversation was held in dutch, he could tell that you were getting upset and it worried him. âiâm gonna be there, okay?â
DESPITE YOUR MOMâS QUESTION UPON YOUR relationship status during last yearâs christmas, you didnât drop a clue whether or not you were dating someone. you felt secure in your relationship with oscar, you didnât want to jinx it. you started therapy just a few months earlier, but the anxiety to get past this awful feeling of revealing your boyfriend to your family was too much to do yet. you definitely wouldnât do it without him by his side, and not when your father was around.
throughout the months of 2023, your relations with your mom, max, and victoria had improved significantly, which you were grateful for. by may, victoriaâs oldest son, luka, considered you to be his favorite auntie and you really, really liked that feeling.
oscar noticed that you started to come out of your protective shell and he couldnât be prouder of you. it was around summer break, when you decided that this year, youâd break it down to your family, no more avoiding the conversation you dreaded, but before â you would spend the summer break with your boyfriend in melbourne.
oscar, as usually on his days off, was still fast asleep, when you tried to get out of his grip in the morning. his arm had almost caged you to his side, but somehow â after fifteen minutes of trying to come up with an idea to get away without waking him up, you succeeded.
nicole was already seated at the couch with two steaming cups of coffee in front of her, almost as if she was waiting for you, which you knew she was. it was slowly becoming a little tradition you had with your boyfriendâs mom, you two would sit on the couch in their living room, casually chatting about something, while a movie played on the television in the background to your chatter.
âoscarâs still asleep, love?â she asked in a soft, yet chirpy tone as she noticed you walking down the stairs. your hair was still a bit messy, but nevertheless you looked gorgeous.
âyeah.â a chuckle escaped your lips as you took a seat next to her, taking the mug into your hands. âwe stayed up watching a movie last night, apparently i had missed out on the magnificence of david fincherâs filmography.â nicole giggled, shaking her head.
âah, yes. weâve been through that, too.â she smiled, taking a sip of her coffee. âso, iâve heard from hattie that youâre planning on going to suzuka with oscar. thatâs, hm⌠how did she call it? a hard launch, right?â you smiled softly, nodding your head at her question.
throughout your entire relationship with the oldest piastriâs kid, you have been to few races, most of them being his formula renault and three ones, when the schedule didnât overlap with any of your exams. during his first season in formula one, you were only at silverstone, but as a guest of max, making your first appearance in paddock since you were a baby. this time, youâd be there not as max verstappenâs younger sister, dressed in a red-bull jacket with your brotherâs number on the back, but as oscar piastriâs girlfriend.
âthatâs true, iâm really excited.â nicoleâs warm smile upon hearing your response made you feel even more sure that you were making a good decision. âitâs gonna be my last year at kingâs, and i really hope iâll be able to come to more races to support him. i donât want oscar to feel like i donât care about his dreams or achievements.â
âiâm sure he doesnât feel like that, love.â she reassured, reaching out to squeeze your hand with a slight nod. âyou still havenât told your family, have you?â nicole asked, her head tilted to the side in curiosity and empathy.
she was aware of your bumpy relationship with your family, so it wasnât a surprise sheâd asked that. you feared that oscarâs relatives would think you didnât take him seriously, and even if they did, they never showed it.
âi want to.â you spoke quietly, having taken a sip of the drink in your hands. âitâs been going on for too long and iâm fully aware of that. i canât see myself without your son, heâs⌠heâs probably the, uh, the best thing that ever happened to me.â the genuineness of your words was painfully evident. âi just want them to see that, i wouldnât be the person i am without him. iâm also just⌠a bit scared of their reaction. i donât want to hurt them.â
âiâm gonna be frank with you, love. i think they will be slightly hurt that you havenât told them about oscar earlier.â nicole started, giving you a look full of compassion. âbut you did say that they werenât insisting on staying in touch with you as much as they do now, your relationship hasnât been as good as it is right now, so after the initial shock, i think theyâre gonna understand why you havenât told them earlier.â
âthank you for saying that, nicole.â you replied softly, smiling at her with gratitude. âit gives me a bit of hope that things wonât go so bad.â
oscar got down an hour or so later, looking like he had just woken up, what was probably the truth. youâve had a hunch that he wouldâve woken soon, so you started preparing something for him to eat before he had to head out for his usual jog (which he skipped yesterday). his arms sneaked around your waist, pulling your back flush against his chest, while nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.
you giggled at the sensation of his light stubble against your skin, when he pressed a few lazy kisses along your neck. âgâmorning, baby.â he muttered, his voice still having that rought, just-woken-up ring to it. his slightly cold hands moved beneath your shirt, gently caressing your stomach, causing you to shiver at the contact. âwhat dâyou gossip about with mom today?â he asked, continuing with his antics.
âah, just stuff, love.â you replied, nicoleâs petnames rubbing off on you. âedie with a friend will stay at ours before the summer break ends.â you mentioned his younger sisterâs plan to come see london and all you got in a response was a soft hum.
âcool, cool.â oscar mumbled a few seconds later, teeth grazing the sensitive spot on your neck, making you bit back a moan. the corners of his mouth turned into a smirk at your reaction.
âah, fuck off, lad.â a giggle escaped your lips as you turned to face him, having finished preparing some scrambled eggs for the two of you. âgo eat, i promised max iâd call him.â after oscar stole a sweet and slow kiss from you, he sat down at the table, shamelessly watching you as you called your brother.
he knew that the situation was better, but he wanted to notice the tiny changes in your expression to comfort you within seconds. he probably wouldnât understand too much of what youâd say, but before the season started, heâs began thinking about putting a ring on your finger one day, and proposing in dutch sounded like a good idea, so⌠he started learning on his own, just to be able to surprise you, but also show your family that he cared about the possible language barrier.
âhey, penelope.â you smiled as the four years old girl greeted you after picking up maxâs phone. âcould you please give me max?â from what youâve known, max and kelly went to see her family in brazil, so hearing that p wasnât asleep, wasnât a surprise.
you couldâve heared ruffling on the other side of the call, before your brotherâs voice rang in your ears. âsorry, i was outside.â he apologised. âp said you wanted to talk, everything alright?â
âyeah, everythingâs alright.â you smiled at the hint of concern in his voice. âjust wanted to ask when youâre flying back to monaco.â you asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.
âah, around next week, i think. not sure though, why?â
âjust⌠uh,â you looked over at oscar and smiled to yourself. âi just wanted you to meet someone. think you could make a quick stop in london before monaco?â
you couldâve heard max stiffle a small gasp and it made you want to laugh. they thought youâd never find someone, didnât they? after looking at your nails, you turned your gaze to oscar, whose eyes were still watching you carefully. it was so endearing to see your boyfriend like that, so protective over you. you knew you made a good choice of not pushing him away, oscar must be your soulmate, thereâs no other way. you sent him a small wink as you awaited maxâs reply.
âsomeone?â he repeated the word. âas in friend? a boyfriend? god, i never thought iâd live to that day. heâs not fifty or something, right?â this time, you couldnât hold back the laugh. piastri smiled at the reaction, actually relieved that you werenât getting upset. heâs never seen you talk to jos, but he knew if that happened on his watch, the entire evening, day or week would be spend on comforting the shit out of you.
âwhat? no, jesus, youâre quite ridiculous.â you shook your head, a smile still present on your lips. âheâs my age, you idiot.â you rolled your eyes playfully, despite max couldnât see you.
âbut heâs good for you?â max asked for reassurance that you werenât getting into a relationship, which would end up hurting you more than anything else. âhe doesnât hurt you, or anything? and youâre sure heâs your age? that doesnât go well with your daddy issues.â
âiâm gonna pretend like i didnât hear that last bit.â you joked, sitting down at the table next to oscar, taking his hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. âheâs super good for me. wouldnât trade it for anything.â
the reasoning behind telling max before the summer break would end was simple, you didnât want the information to mess with his performance, but also so he wouldnât try and run your boyfriend off the track, or crash into him in a rush of emotions.
âalright, tell him to better treat my sister right or iâll run him over with my car.â
OSCAR WAS TRYING TO CALM YOU DOWN AS YOU paced around your shared apartment, a few days after the conversation you had with your brother. your brother, who was on his way from the heathrow airport to your home.
âbaby, itâs gonâ be alright.â he whispered, leaning close to your ear as he cupped your face in his hands, having brushing his nose against yours a few times affectionately. âmax wonât sacrifice his relationship with you, solely because you havenât told him about us. heâs gonna have to understand, alright? donât stress out.â his thumb moved against the skin of your cheeks, planting a kiss on your forehead.
âyou think so?â you asked, meeting his gaze as a small pout appeared on your lips.
âi know so, baby.â he soothed, trying to put your mind at ease, remembering how much hassle the situation had put on your shoulders, having heard you empty your stomach in the morning, when your phone went off once max had texted you that they have just arrived in london.
fourty minutes later, oscar was calling the security guard to let max, kelly, and penelope inside the building. the australian went back to the living room as you had planned beforehand, when you agreed on inviting them to your apartment.
âauntie yn!â penelope smiled, throwing herself at you. you swiftly picked her up, masking the shakiness of your hands. âmaxie said you have a boyfrieeeend.â she singsonged with a beam on her face. you could swear to god that in that moment youâd heard the faint sound of oscarâs laughter.
âmax.â you gave your brother a look, while he just shrugged unbashedly. âwhat? itâs true isnât it? where is that brit of yours?â
âheâs not british.â this time, max gave you a look that said he was confused, while you just shrugged, waving your hand at the three of them, before leading them to the living room. penelope noticed oscar first and murmured to you that he looked really pretty, a warm sensation spreading in your stomach, when the pretty boy smiled at you. the oldest verstappen might get angry or feel hurt, but at the end of the day, no one could do anything to break the two of you apart. youâd chain yourself to the aussie if it was necessary.
âwhaâ oscar?â maxâs mouth fell agape as he took in the sight of your boyfriend, who gave him a tiny, sheepish smile. âhold on a second, what?â he repeated, puting a strong emphasis on the last word.
you werenât sure if it was inappropriate for you to scoot a bit closer to your boyfriend, leaning against his side as your older brother tried to stomach the fact that the reason behind your often trips to australia was his on-track rival.
âbut you were with kelly at the silverstone, not leaving her side at all?â his confusion was messing with your anxiety and you had to do your best to stiffle the laugh bubbling up in your throat.
âyeah, um⌠we didnât met at silverstone.â it was oscarâs time to speak up as the bits of contact between you made him more relaxed. âwe⌠have been already dating back then.â piastri explained calmly, his arm going around your shoulders to bring you even closer.
âso thatâs why you cried!â kelly smiled at you as your cheeks flushed bright red.
silverstone was oscarâs best finish in formula one so far and seeing him end up almost on podium had melted your heart as you broke down in the red-bull garage. when kelly asked you what made you so emotional, you slipped a small lie, saying that it was because max earned another grand slam.
âyou cried?â oscar asked quietly, his heart swelled with love.
âshe had a full on mental breakdown.â piquet joked, your cheeks had turned its color from bright red to crimson. it was nothing to be embarrassed about, you loved your boyfriend with all your heart, you couldnât help but be proud of him for almost every day since you got together. although, he wasnât supposed to know about your little breakdown.
âi didnât know about that.â oscar teased you a little, gently pinching your side.
âwait, because i still donât understand. you were already dating at silverstone, when did you-did you start, then?â the red bull, who â rightfully â couldnât wrap his head around the possibility that what you were doing right now, wasnât a silly prank or tiktok of some sort, and you and oscar were actually together.
you opened your mouth to tell him the range of your anniversary, when oscar, like he was aked about it every other day, responded with; âeleventh of july, 2019.â
âfucking four years?â max asked, his eyes widening at the revelation. âfour years and you didnât tell?â
âi was scared that telling one of you would lead to telling dad, and i didnât want him to say something that would ruin what we have.â your voice dropped insignificantly, oscarâs arm around your body tightening in compassion. âheâs been my rock, i didnât want to risk losing oscar.â
your brotherâs face softened upon hearing the explanation and just smiled. âiâm not taking what i said back. you better treat her right, or iâll run you over with my car â on or off track.â
á°.áęŠ yourname . . . at melbourne! dec 28th, 2026
liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, inaya66 and 67 218 others.
yourname met this muppet in a bar after years of not believing in love (definitely not at the first sight), overworking myself and worrying all my friends that if i get into my dream university, iâll have no energy to push forward. took me one glimpse of him (and a jägerbomb) to realise that i need to walk up and talk to him. big thanks to arthur_leclerc for walking up to us and trying to embarrass him.
no one could ever make me as happy as you. not enough words, papers and ink to describe even the quarter of love i have for you, two times world champion. seven years and more to come. thank you for showing me that love can be unconditional and that with you next to me, everything is possible.
(ps. a small sneak peak of one significant bean with us to come through life together xx)
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oscarpiastri happiest seven years of my life. nothing compares to the feeling when iâm with you xx
yourname stop cutting the onions (ááŁá)Ő
inaya66 couldnât be happier for the two of you âšď¸
ciarrrra thats a lot coming from u considering u didnt like oscar
aliyahbilal i wanna be you when i grow up
arthur_leclerc safe to say iâm gonna be the best man?? đ
oscarpiastri donât push it
arthur_leclerc i made you two possible
ciarrrra baby⌠she was on her way to him when u walked up to usâŚ
oscarpiastri so WE kind of made u 2 possible :p
maxverstappen1 stop posting sappy stuff, and get here already bean misses her favorite uncle xx
landonorris yeah n youâre not the one
charles_leclerc boys⌠i have a dog u really think u stand a chance
yourname thatâs really sweet that u think u ever stood a chance with alex, jack, and jamesâŚ
maxverstappen1 over her own blood??
yourname stop shaming my daughter for her choices old guy
sebastianvettel lots of love and happiness to your little family
ciarrrra sign me up for babysitter duty pleaseeee i miss my beanie âšď¸
aliyahbilal nooo me me me need to catch up on those nursery gossips with my bestie!!!
victoriaverstappen canât wait to see you guys đŤśđŤś hailey misses her bestie
mclaren we are always told things last âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸
yourname you know itâs not true admin why do you lie đđ
hattiepiastri best soon to be sil đĽłđĽłđĽł
yourname whats with you piastris and making me cry today!!!
nicolepiastri love you both lots xx
jackdoohan iâm the favorite?? need to come over with gifts asapđââď¸đââď¸
fin.
authorâs notes! super hyped to post this fic 𼚠itâs honestly my baby that iâve been working on and thinking about it 24/7 (even when i was supposed to be studying LMAO) huge shoutout to my whatsapp girlies esp catalina and sonny!!!! this is kinda not proofread so if u saw any mistakes (which definitely were there) pretend like u didnt đđ part two with domestic dad!oscar and uncle!grid?? lemme know whatchu think <3 requests r open btw!!
#oscar piastri#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri drabble#oscar piastri au#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar <3#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri fluff#max verstappen x reader#verstappen!reader#oscar piastri one shot#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 fluff#social media au#formula 1 x reader#op81 smau#op81 fluff#op81 imagine#op81 fic#op81#op81 x reader
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jinx relationship headcanons
warnings: there's some nfsw but it's almost clinical, the usual dark-ish jinx stuff that always comes with her
a/n: guys don't worry she's alive and well here in my house she's actually taking a nap, we're gonna have dinner later
masterlist | đ | ko-fi
She often forgets to take care of herself: makeup stays on her face for days, her hair becomes matted and dirty at the ends, and her hands are dusty with chipped nail polish.
So you like to take care of herâhelping her wash her hair (it really is a two-person job these days), gently washing her face, and making sure she's thoroughly clean before letting her go to bed or even hug you.
And in these moments, when she smells cleaner than she has in years and her hair feels so light she could fly, there are no voices, no buzzing, no sound. Thereâs just peace and this sense that she could actually have things like theseânormal moments and casual actions with you. Most importantly, that she deserves them.
She's sitting in a loose white shirt, eyes closed, humming a song that's been stuck in her head for days. You're behind her, humming along as you brush her long locks. When you're done, you inch closer, placing your hands on her shoulders and start kissing her: first the top of her head, then her forehead when she leans to look at you, followed by her nose. Finally, you pepper kisses across her whole face before pulling back to grab something else for her hair.
She turns to look at you, her eyes dreamy and shiny, her heart beating fast. Thereâs a small smile on her face.
After that, you both cling to each other on her enormous bed. She switches positions every few momentsâfrom laying her head on your chest, to being the small spoon, to the big spoon, to just fully lying on top of you and burying her face in your neck. She's unusually quiet in those moments, as if she's recharging.
Sometimes, she might talk about her feelingsâthe ones she doesnât understand yet and the ones she knows are badâand sheâs thankful you donât judge her.
Other times, she might just want to jump your bones, thinking itâs an equivalent âthank youâ for taking care of her. It takes her a while to understand that she doesnât have to pay you back for your affection.
There are also moments when you help build her back up: putting makeup on her face again or braiding her hair, carefully working through knots to avoid pulling too hard.
The biggest problem is her staring. You've tried talking her out of it so many times, but while you paint her face or fix her hair, she just stares at you, unblinking.
Sometimes, she starts frowning, taking all of you in. Occasionally, she'll pull back unintentionally, her chest too full of feelings she doesnât yet understand.
You ask if she's okay, and she responds with a snarky comment, building up her walls again. But eventually, she relaxes into your touch, letting you continue.
Itâs actually really hard for her to relax most of the time.
For example, she never fully lets go when the two of you are intimate. Sometimes, while you're eating her out, you catch her staring at you, laser-focused, as if waiting for you to hurt her. âSorry, toots. Got lost again. But that feels good, so keep going,â sheâll say, laying back against the pillows as if nothing happened.
You used to get really worried and stop altogether, but those dissociative episodes have become fewer and fewer as she gets healthier.
Dancing is something you do almost daily, though itâs not really dancing at this pointâitâs just rocking heads, jumping around, and holding each other while spinning.
On rare occasions, youâll slow dance. Sheâll put her feet on top of yours, and the two of you will barely move in circles in the middle of the bedroom. In those moments, sheâs as happy as she can be, just existing with you.
You also love annoying her by whispering bad jokes in her ear until she stops whatever tinkering sheâs doing because sheâs too busy laughing.
Then, sheâll tickle you until youâre crying, cussing you out for saying all that nonsense to her.
#imagine#arcane#arcane imagine#arcane x reader#jinx#jinx arcane#jinx imagine#jinx x reader#jinx arcane imagine#jinx arcane x reader#jinx smut#jinx arcane smut#headcanons
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I feel like each of the 141 has a difference preference when dicking down their mate.
Kyle prefers to stay human, it lets him really get a good show while fucking into the pretty thing he managed to take home. Seeing how your skin contrasts to his softly colored sheets is more reassuring to him that you're his than any scenting could be. Also, he's a lighter sleeper as a human, letting him keep you in his bed if you try to slip out while he's asleep.
Price likes the little hint of other, as a sign of his age and experience. He's the only one of the 141 who can shift only a few senses instead of having to start properly shifting. Let's him memorize your scent while fucking you, all so he can let you have the illusion of choice by letting you go and "finding" you again later. Eventually, he'll make it seem like a bit of fate and offer you out on a date.
Ghost partially shifts, and that's the most he can hold himself back when it comes to you. Claws and teeth come out, drool dripping from his maw to your skin. He needs to taste you, to make sure you taste the same. Taste like his.
Soap is a dog and he will fuck you in full transformation because of it. This man needs you on the most primal level, so why not just fuck you at his most primal. It also gives him a better nose to smell your sweat soaked skin, a longer tongue to shove into you, better hearing to catch each and every whimper you make. He needs to consume you and the best way to do that is with his wolf.
At least, that's my thought.
As usual how does it feel to be so fucking right?
Gaz absolutely prefers fucking you as a human, it feels too much like taking advantage of you when he has his semi-transformed strength and the idea of fucking you fully wolf makes him itch a little. He's so worried about damaging you with his claws and fangs :( his poor human mate, he doesn't want to ruin you. We'll, not like that at least. That won't stop him from knotting you, that's a luxury he can't afford not to indulge in. He loves the way you squirm and complain about the stretch, shushing you with soft coos, promising it'll be over soon, even when he knows it'll be a good 20 minutes at least.
Price is old hat at transformations and after years of growing and shrinking it's worn on his joints, if he doesn't have to transform he won't. He'll indulge in the sensed his wolf-form lends him, pressing his nose to your pulse and getting himself drunk on your scent. His eyes are always dark, animalistic, when he drags his flat tongue against your sex, and you worry that the teeth he's hiding might bite too hard, but he hasn't hurt you yet. And the only scare he gives you is when he presses his hand against your come filled stomach talking about pups.
Ghost simply lacks self control around you. The man has the control of a saint, but once he gets drunk on the scent of your arousal it's over for him. He grips you with heavy clawed hands, his skin splitting with fur and his nose starting to lengthen, and it scares you a little. His breathing is uneven, but his hips don't stop moving even when his bones start to break and his joints begin to pop. His drool dripping onto you is the only indication you get before he's sinking his teeth into your shoulder. You'll have to take wolfsbane in the morning if you don't want to end up going through the same pain.
Soap though... Soap fucks you like a dog, literally. He'll hunt you down on a full moon and hold you down with big paws, murmuring canned tones from his open maw about how he can't stop himself. He's all instinct, all panting and howling as he mounts you and ruts his cock against your sex, uncaring what hole he fucks himself into as long as it's yours. He'll lay directly on top of you once he's knotted you too, licking your face in apology but you know he doesn't mean it because he keeps asking for another round.
#cod x reader#x reader#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#ghost x reader#soap x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#captain john price#captain price x reader#werewolf au#tf 141 x reader#oh wait i forgot i actually have fucked up body horror werewolf headcanons
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this is my first time hearing of this so i dont know if theres like some other context related to this im missing (or if this message just happened out of the blue) but i dont really wanna know either way.
^^^ but all points in this are valid (the reblogged post i mean)
i would like to at least hold out hope that nothing bad happened until it is confirmed (do not ask them what happened, im sure its stressful as it is) but that is not to say that i invalidate the people who spoke up because im sure they have their reasons too but we do not know what happened and we cannot know what (again do not ask what, we are not entitled to that information)
i want to believe in both sides. i don't want to end up being the kind of person who doesn't believe in a victim or is against a person who didn't actually do anything wrong, so im going to be patient and if nothing ever gets said about it thats fine too
do not speculate. what comes out of it could be aiming pitchforks at someone who didn't do what you think they did, or bringing out someone's trauma over something all over again because you want to know or you think oh maybe this could be why so and so happened
this is my own opinion, but id say to withhold any judgment and thought you might have on this until we get a confirmation. this is not to say that you can do whatever you want with this information after, because that is not true at all.
feeling uncomfortable regarding it is valid, im not saying you cant have your own opinions over it, id just prefer it if people could treat this sensitively, and with respect for the other members to not try to find out more then what has been shared, nor overly target people over something you do not have confirmation over
im sorry as ive been repeating points a lot, but ive seen people acting really disrespectfully to all the people involved in something similar to this because they want to know, but they do it with zero regard for the person on the other side of the screen
(this is more referring to people asking those who were friends to that person about it but it was a really bad situation overall, and they were attacking them when they didn't get a response out fast enough without considering that they'd just learned that someone they cared about was a terrible person and needed time to process that. now in this case its not fully confirmed but i really dont want to see that happen again.)
^ updating my response above, as there is a doc with information about what happened which i noticed in one of the comments on the original post. i just wasnt sure if something really bad happened considering the vague statement in the twitter post but considering its been spoken out now of what happened i can safely conclude that hes probably not innocent (understatement). (again, please do not hound the victims nor the hermits on information about this)
i just didnt wanna assume anything. this isnt to say that i didnt trust in what evidence they saw that made them conclude that the accusations were credible, it was just worded in a way that sounded very vague, and as a person who would like to see the goodness in everyone i tend to stay in denial about these kinds of things because i want to believe that they are not that kind of person, at the very least until its either admitted by the guilty party, or theres a credible statement from the victim
also it might feel like im understating things with how i describe them, thats my bad. i usually describe things in swear words but considering hermitcraft has a mainly young audience im trying not to and it also feels a little inappropriate over a serious topic. but it means i default to referring to something as 'bad' or 'not so good' which can come off as like im trying to make it seem not as bad as it actually is which isn't true at all. im just trying to be really careful about how i word things or what i say considering this is a serious topic but it means im not sure how to describe it so i end up going with what i default to outside of swears.
um. also please dont go asking for proof from the people affected nor the hermits cause i really dont think its appropriate and could lead to triggering them further. its also very personal.
i emphasize my point as a person who has also gone through bad things, and trying to look back through those old messages were really triggering and it was just not a good time. i imagine it was rough enough to get screenshots of what they did get so please leave it alone. they went through the trouble of sharing it in public, you are not entitled to more
and i get it might be rough to trust CCs after having your trust broken with one being revealed to be a bad person but PLEASE do not accuse other CCs of the same behavior. they are just as shaken as you that someone they thought they knew could be like that. please leave them alone, thank you.
PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND:
we, as fans, do not have a right to private information. anything shared with us on this is a privilege. please do not abuse it. the cc's could shut down and never talk about it if we overwhelm them.
also, please keep in mind that ONE HERMIT and THE ENTIRETY OF HERMITCRAFT are NOT THE SAME THING. the entire fandom is not 'ruined' or 'completely unsafe' because of the actions of one person.
PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME THAT THE OTHER HERMITS KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT WHATEVER'S GOING ON WITH ISKALL. this is not some big conspiracy, it's the consequences of one person's actions. they weren't hiding this from us, that's not how hermitcraft works, they truly didn't know. they probably knew as much as us about this, so making it an 'us against them' situation is immature and shortsighted.
ALSO, I AM BEGGING EVERYONE TO PLEASE NOT SENSATIONALIZE THIS. PLEASE DO NOT TURN HATING ISKALL INTO A MEME OR A JOKE.
mcyt'ers being revealed to be less-than-great people is not a rare thing, sadly, but i've seen it turned into a joke/meme/trend in other fandoms. this both minimalizes the actual people's/victims' struggles, makes the entire situation feel less serious than it is, especially to outsiders looking in, and makes everyone in the fandom look immature, petty, unable to take anything seriously, and genuinely harmful.
this server, fandom, and community are not dying, it is not ruined forever, this is one (major, i'm not trying to minimalize it) issue that we're currently dealing with. it will be okay. we will move on. this is not the beginning of the end. please calm down. i love this fandom, god bless all of you. <3
edit: doc has said on stream that we will likely get more information as time passes. like i said, this is a PRIVILEGE. we are not OWED information. please be grateful for what we're given, and POLITELY ask questions if you must. if a cc doesn't give you the answer you want, or doesn't answer at all, LEAVE THEM ALONE. THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO HARASS PEOPLE. the hermits are likely just as stressed out as us, if not probably more so, so please keep that in mind when contacting them.
don't freak out, we'll be okay, this is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of Hermitcraft. we will be okay.
second edit: please remember that (at least as far as we know) ISKALL AND STRESS WERE NOT KICKED OR BANNED. THEY LEFT OF THEIR OWN VOLITION.
ALSO!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!!
WE. DO. NOT. KNOW. EXACTLY. WHAT. HAPPENED.
PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME ANYTHING SIMPLY BASED OFF OF OTHER MCYT'ERS PAST ACTIONS/SCANDALS. WE DO NOT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. WE MIGHT NOT EVER KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. WE NEED TO BE OKAY WITH THAT AND NOT DRAW OUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.
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Teenage Dirtbag III
Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Teen!Reader
Summary: You get a job
The mural appears on the building in the middle of the night but it's on the morning news show that moment the sun comes up.
You stubbornly ignore the screen as you stare down at your bowl of cereal, the smallest of smiles on your face as you offer a dry cornflake to little Vince, who takes it and scampers off to eat it at the other end of the table.
"I wish you wouldn't let him up there," Mapi says and you roll your eyes.
"You let Bagheera up here."
"That's different."
"Is it because he's a boy? Is that it?"
Mapi lets out a little bark of laughter for a moment before flicking you in the ear. "I'm worried he's going to fall and hurt himself."
Your kitten peers over the edge of the table after eating his cereal, little legs wiggling in preparation to leap as his half ear flicks happily.
"I think he's survived worse."
Mapi rolls her eyes, plucking Vince off the table and placing him on the floor before she makes her morning coffee.
Ingrid's the one watching the news, her brow furrowed as she listens to the report.
"Well," You say, pushing out and up from the table," I'm going to head to school. I'll see you later."
Ingrid's eyes narrow at your abrupt exit and you don't slow down enough for her to open her mouth.
The path to your school is a familiar one, a fancy private school that Ingrid probably pays an extortionate fee to send you to but is still leagues above the boarding school you used to attend in Norway.
But you've still got a blazer to wear and a shirt and tie - not even one of those clip on ones. It's a proper tie that you've got to tie everyday.
Your skateboard wheels roll over the pavement, earphones thumping with music, as you approach the building. There's a teacher at the gate and they give you a look of disapproval as you come rolling past.
"Hoodie off, Engen," They say," You know the rules."
You roll your eyes as you continue on your way, making a show of stripping off the hoodie you've got on under your blazer just as you make it through the double doors - where it goes straight back on again.
School in Spain isn't really that different to school in Norway apart from the fact that everyone's speaking Spanish.
That's not really difficult either - Spanish that is. You've already got Norwegian and English, and Spanish wasn't really too complex of a language to learn either.
Sure, you've got a bit of an accent and sometimes have to take a moment to think through your grammar but it's nothing that makes it impossible to communicate.
"Off the skateboard, Engen," Another teacher says as you ride down the corridor on your board.
"Will do," You lie through your teeth.
The speed of your skateboard is the only thing keeping you away from the gaggle of girls that follow your every move.
Back at home, Mapi thinks it's hilarious. Ingrid says it's sweet.
You think it's annoying. It's bad enough to appear in the middle of the school year and have everyone automatically know who you are. It's worse when a group of giggling girls try to follow you around all the time. You kind of just want to fade into the background.
"I thought the teacher just asked you to get off that skateboard?"
You roll to a stop in front of one of the prefects.
"I mean...they didn't exactly say when I was meant to get off the skateboard? Just that I should get off it?"
She rolls her eyes, arms crossed over her chest. "You know what they meant."
"Do you ever get tired of being so stuck up?" You ask with a cheeky grin.
"Do you ever get tired of pushing boundaries?"
You shrug. "It's part of my charm."
"Yeah, charm," She scoffs," Let's call it that. You know, I should write you up for dress code. You know you're not meant to wear hoodies to school."
"So I've been told."
"Or trainers."
"They're comfortable."
"Or leave your tie undone."
"I don't like the feeling on my neck."
"And that hairband? Black only."
"What? So I can't wear a red hair tie but you can wear pink ribbons? How's that fair?!"
"So now you're trying to fight with me about it?" She asks, the corner of her mouth twitching upwards," I really should write you up."
Your eyes narrow, nose scrunching up. "You're teasing me."
"What gave it away?"
"I hate you."
"No you don't, Engen. But I do have a note that I was meant to give you during registration. Here, you're excused after lunch. Your sisters are picking you up."
You stare down at the note from the office in your hand as she walks off with her stupid pastel pink hair ribbons.
"Hey! Mapi's not my sister!" You yell after her but she doesn't stop to argue with you about it.
You kind of wish she did.
You shake that thought away though, tucking your skateboard safely under your arm as you make your way over to registration.
School is boring like it always is, even though Ingrid's insisted on them giving you challenging work in the hope of keeping you engaged. She doesn't need to know that you're still skipping classes to hang out in the art rooms with that one eccentric art teacher that can't remember your name but does know the exact brand of spray paint that you love.
You're more than happy to sign yourself out for the day with your hood flipped up as you make your way over to Ingrid's car.
You take a glance back at the building, up to the second floor where that girl is sitting with her stupid pink ribbons, staring bored outside of the History class window.
You know she sees you and you know she sees you put your middle fingers up at her.
"Do you have to do that?" Ingrid asks as you slide into the back seat, slamming the door closed behind you. "You're going to ruin my doors."
"The club will just give you a new car," You say dismissively, plugging your phone into one of Mapi's many chargers. "So...Why am I being let out early?"
"We can't want to do something nice for you?" Ingrid hums, pulling out of the school gates and onto the road.
"Not at lunchtime on a Tuesday," You reply and Mapi snickers in the passenger seat," Don't you guys have training or something?"
"It's almost like you want to be in school," Mapi teases," We can always turn around and drive you back."
"I'm good," You say," But, you know, I haven't eaten yet. Can we grab something first?"
It's hours (and one burger) later that has Ingrid watching you from her passing exercise with Esmee.
Your white school shirt is stained with spray paint and she's ninety percent sure that it's never going to be white again. Your blazer is a heap on the floor and your hoodie sleeves are pushed up to reveal a pastel pink ribbon tied around one of your wrists.
You're totally in the zone though as you adjust your hastily made stencils and step back to review your work.
Ingrid's pretty sure someone could scream your name and you wouldn't even notice, too preoccupied with setting up base layers and a few shapes.
"How it's going?" Mapi asks," It looks..."
Well Mapi can't quite tell how it looks because it's just a bunch of colours and vague shape blobs to her.
"I think I'm going to make the focal point the Champion's League trophy," You say," And then everyone spread out around it."
Mapi tries to picture it but the vague blobs and splashes of colour look just like that to her, no hint of what you can clearly see within it. "Cool," Is all she can say in response.
"It'll look good," You reply," I promise."
"I trust you," Mapi says," I'm just a little sad that I'm clearly not seeing what you're seeing."
"Give it a few days," You promise," And it'll come together."
"I look forward to seeing it," Ingrid says as she approaches.
She's with Mapi, unable to see what you can in the splash of colour and swirls but she's seen enough of your work to know that it all starts off like this.
"Besides," Ingrid says, slipping her hand into yours," Maybe with this to work on, you won't go around tagging random buildings that make it on the news."
"You can't prove that was me," You reply, not taking your eyes off the wall in front of you," They were saying it could be Banksy or someone else trying to make a statement."
"Don't be stupid," You sister says," I can recognise your work anywhere."
#woso x reader#ingrid engen x reader#ingrid engen#mapi leon x reader#mapi leon#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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v.s. angel | l.n.
synopsis: in which Lando is there to support you for your first Victoria's Secret runway show
a/n: based on this request!
my masterlist
To say that you were nervous was the understatement of the year.
The ride towards the venue seemed like it was taking forever, the buildings breezing past you at a rapid pace.
Lando was sat beside you in the limo, analyzing you from head to toe.
He knew how much this night meant to you, how hard you had been working ever since he met you to be able to finally walk the runway as an Angel. And now finally, all that hard work was being paid off.
His eyes gravitated towards your bouncing knee and your fidgety fingers, his heart clenching.
âHeyâ he said, his hand coming to rest on your knee, which momentarily made you stop your movements.
You turned your head to look at him and let out a big sigh, relaxing a little into the backseat at the feeling of his touch.
âHeyâ you replied, smiling slightly.
You werenât used to being in this position. Being the nervous one, being the one in the center of attention. It was usually the other way around whenever you would join Lando at events. But now that it was your turn to shine, you were close to freaking out on him.
âYou donât have to be nervous. Youâre gonna kill it out thereâ he said, his fingers rubbing soothing circles on your knee and lower thigh.
You sighed again, your eyes boring into Landoâs.
âWhat if I mess it up? I know Iâve been saying Iâm ready to do this, but what if Iâm really not? My career could be over in a heartbeat if even the slightest thing goes wrongâ you explained, staring into Landoâs eyes.
They always brought you comfort, no matter the situation that you would find yourself in. Just one look into Landoâs eyes and the whole world around you would calm down and all of your problems suddenly seemed a lot smaller than you had made them out to be.
Thatâs just the effect that your boyfriend has on you.
âThatâs a lot of âifsâ for one sentence, donât you think?â he asked, his voice teasing you a little bit. âBaby, you know as well as I do how hard youâve been working to finally make it here. These people chose you for a reason, out of so many other models they chose you. They saw something special in you, donât put yourself down now. Youâre going to step on that runway and knock everyone on their assesâ he said, his face as serious as youâd ever seen it.
He was right, at the end of the day. But he knew it was the nerves talking, so he had no problems in making sure that you knew just how special you were.
âThank you. I love you so fucking muchâ you tearfully said, leaning in and pressing your lips against his, hard, in a passionate kiss.
Lando reciprocated it, sneaking one of his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him, his other hand still resting on your thigh.
âI love you more. Show them what youâre made of. Iâll be proud of you no matter whatâ
You smiled, for the first time that night, and nodded frantically.
You were gonna rock the shit out of that show.
âĄâĄâĄâĄâĄ
Safe to say that your brave facade had only lasted an hour, right up until the moment you were supposed to step on the runway.
You were back to freaking the fuck out, your palms were sweating, your legs were shaking, your heart was threatening to beat out of your chest, and Lando was nowhere to be seen.
He had left you in the changing room before he made his way into the audience, which right now seemed like the worst idea he had ever had to you.
âY/N, get ready. Youâre up in 2 minutesâ the stage managed announced, making your breathing even more ragged than it already way.
You slowly made your way to the entrance of the runway, careful not to slip and fall on your wobbly legs. You sneakily got a look of the audience and the other models. the amount of people adding to your already growing stress.
But you couldnât even focus on them anymore. Your eyes were frantically searching for his, the only thing that you could find solace in at that moment.
You were slowly starting to give up hope of seeing him from that angle before you got on stage, but then your eyes landed straight on him.
He was already looking at you, his eyes worried but excited at the same time. He subtly gave you a thumbs up and mouthed âYouâve got this, I love youâ before giving you one of his signature smiles.
You smiled, blew him a kiss and stepped back, closing your eyes as you gathered your thoughts.
You had been waiting for this moment ever since you were a little girl, you had worked your ass off for this opportunity, and you were about to show everyone exactly what you were made of.
Letting out a big breath, you shrugged off the thin robe you had tied around your waist, walked up the steps to the runway and stepped into the spotlight, a bright smile gracing your face as you confidently made your way down the runway.
The audience was in awe as they followed you with their eyes, but the only eyes that you cared about were Lando's.
He was clapping the loudest out of anyone, beyond proud of you and what this meant for your career.
"Go baby!" you heard him yell, and it took everything in you not to stop and blow him a kiss or just jump off from the stage straight into his arms.
Instead, you smiled even wider, stopping at the end of the runway to pose with your wings before turning around and walking back, catching Lando's eye for a second and winking at him.
The audience was clapping the loudest they had all night as you slowly retreated off the stage, almost doubling over your feet as you were finally out of the spotlight and into the safe comfort of the dressing room.
"Are you okay?" another Angel asked you, one of the girls you had got to know pretty well over the last few weeks.
"I can't believe I just did that" you said, both of you silent for a moment before you burst into laughter, clutching your bare stomach.
"You were great out there, especially considering the support system you had" she teased before pointing behind you.
You chuckled and turned around, seeing Lando making his way into the dressing room and towards the two of you.
No words were needed as you completely melted into his arms, the familiar warmth of his hold enveloping you like a safety blanket. His arms had slowly become your favorite place to be, the place where nothing and nobody could get to you, where you could let yourself feel and where you could be safe from everything out there.
"You were incredible out there. I couldn't take my eyes off of you" he whispered, his breath hot against your ear as he held you close to his body.
You chuckled, squeezing him a little tighter.
"Thank you for being here for me. I can't even explain how much having you here meant to me" you said, your eyes welling up with tears as you buried your face into his chest, hiding away from the world to a place where it was just the two of you.
"I wouldn't miss this for the world, I'm so proud of you" he whispered, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
The love that you felt in those moments was overwhelming, but at the same time was everything you could ever wish for.
"I love you so much" you pulled away just enough so you could see his face, your gaze instantly falling to his lips.
"I love you too" he said before leaning down and pressing his lips against yours.
The whole world seemed to fade away, the runway and show long forgotten and pushed at the back of your mind.
You had everything that mattered right there with you.
Your love and biggest support.
Your Lando.
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LYLAAAAAAAAA OMG ILYSM EAT ABD SKEEP AND DRINK WELL!!!
if you don't mind a req, Jihoon (or svt reaction) when he finds how good it feels to use a shower spray against the hoohaa
clit stimulation using shower spray w woozi <33
WARNINGS: situationship!woozi, bath sex, using shower head to masturbate, dirty talk, mentions of body fluids (cum)
it always started like this with jihoonâblurred lines that somehow felt crystal clear when you were with him. like, you knew what it was, but did you really? dude would pass by your place at 10 p.m. like, âyou eat yet? i got chicken katsu.â then, five hours later, heâs snoring on your couch, legs tangled with yours, an arm slung over your stomach like he lived there. and yeah, maybe he didnât outright say things, but actions...oh, he was fluent.
tonight wasnât any different. except it was.
you were mid-rant to your group chat about some guy hitting on you at the cafĂŠ when jihoonâs name popped up. jihoon: "should i bring dumplings or ramen? heading over." like. no question if you wanted him over; just straight vibes of "you good? iâm on my way."
fast-forward, and somehow, you ended up hereâin the shower, your body pressed up against the tiles while jihoon held your leg like he was tuning a guitar. the steam made everything feel hazy, as he rinsed the soapy bubbles from your body.
the shower spray hit your inner thigh, the pressure tracing lazy lines up to places he wasnât even aiming for. âlift a little,â he mumbled, voice low like the water could hear him. his hand slid behind your knee, steadying you like it wasnât a big deal, but when that stream hit right at your clit. your breath stuttered, sharp enough to make his brows knit together.
âwhat?â he asked, head tilting like a curious cat. the fucker.
you shook your head, mortified.
his lips twitched, like he didnât fully buy it, but he adjusted the angle anyway, aiming higher. too high. a broken moan fell out of your mouth, and your hand flew to his shoulder, digging in like it could stop time. it didnât.
jihoon froze, the stream still very much pressing where it shouldnât. âwait.â his tone was careful, but the corners of his mouth betrayed him. âdoes thatâdoes it feel good?â
you groaned, smacking your forehead against his collarbone. âdonât.â
âiâm not judging!â he insisted, but the joy in his voice was hella obvious. âjustâwait. do you do this by yourself? like, on purpose?â
âoh my god, stop talking.â you could feel your face burning, like the steam was actively conspiring against you.
jihoon chuckled under his breath, this low, knowing sound that made your embarrassment worse. âokay, okay. no answer needed.â he adjusted the spray, the water softening into a gentler stream, but he didnât let go of your leg. didnât pull away either.
the shower went silent for a beat, save for the soft patter of water hitting tiles. you thought that was itâmortification over, donezo. until jihoon, of course, had to ruin it.
âso... you want me to keep going?â
your gaze flickered to him, catching the way his eyes softened regardless the sneer tugging at his lips. you bit your lip, heart pounding louder than the water. and then, quietly, like you were confessing to a crime, you mumbled, âmhmm.â
his grip on your leg tightened just a fraction, his smirk deepening. âokay,â he whispered, so gentle it made your chest ache. âjust relax, yeah?â
his hand tightened around your thigh like he was steadying himself, except you knew it was for you. the spray hadnât moved yet, still teasing the edge of your inner thigh, the warm water trailing in lazy streaks down your skin. jihoon adjusted his grip slightly, his thumb grazing the back of your knee.
âyou good?â his voice was soft, almost too soft, and when you peeked up at him, his eyes werenât mocking anymore. he looked focused. calm. it made your chest twist in ways you werenât ready to deal with.
you nodded, swallowing hard. âyeah.â
âokay.â he glanced down, adjusting the showerhead with his free hand, the click of the spray setting sounding far too loud in the intimate quiet of the bathroom. then, like heâd done it a thousand times before, he tilted the stream closer, the water landing in a direct line that made your toes curl.
âjihoonââ your voice cracked, half his name, half a choke, and your body jolted on reflex. the spray circled over your clit, not quite a flick but not soft either, the pressure just shy of overwhelming.
he paused instantly, pulling the water back. âtoo much?â
âno, no,â you rushed, your hand gripping his shoulder like it was your lifeline. âjustâfuck, i wasnât ready.â
his lips curved into the faintest smirk, a tiny dimple ghosting one cheek. âshouldâve said something. i couldâve warned you.â
you grumbled, heat blooming up your neck, he was already moving again, guiding the water in slow circles. it was gentle at first, the warmth rolling over you, but as he shifted his wrist, tilting the angle just slightly, the stream narrowed, honing in on that one spot.
your hips bucked forward, a strangled whine slipping from your throat, and jihoon chuckled low under his breath. âthere it is,â he murmured, almost like he was talking to himself. âfeels good, hmm?â
you wanted to snap at him, to tell him to stop talking like he wasnât wrecking you in the middle of your own bathroom, but the words dissolved into a needy moan as he flicked the stream upward, the water hitting just right. your fingers dug into his arm, and you swore your knees might give out.
âcareful,â he said, his tone shifting to something softer, his hand sliding to cup your hip as his forearm holds the back of your knee now, grounding you. âdonât go falling on me now.â
âeasy for you to say,â you bit out, your voice trembling, but he only hummed in response.
he switched the spray again, this time narrowing it even more, and when he angled it just below your clit, letting the water ripple against you in a teasing rhythm, your head tipped back against the tile. âholy fuck,â you choked, legs trembling.
jihoonâs smirk widened, but his grip didnât falter. âyeah?â he asked. âyou like that, hmm?â
your only response was a broken whimper, and his hand flexed against your hip like he was fighting the urge to pull you closer. ârelax,â he murmured, his voice steady even as his own breath hitched slightly. âjust let it happen. i got you.â
you did relax, maybe too much, because the next moment, your leg wobbled, your body sliding just enough to make you panic. but jihoon moved instantly, catching you before you could even process it, his arm locking around your waist while he adjusted the spray back to that perfect rhythm.
âgotcha,â he said, and there was something in his voiceâpride, maybe, or just satisfaction at the way you melted into him. âthought you were gonna make me work for it.â
you glared weakly at him, your cheeks burning, but it only made him laugh, the sound soft and familiar, grounding you even as your body threatened to unravel.
âdonât worry,â he added, his voice dipping as the spray circled again, the pressure building making your vision blur. âiâm not stopping âtil youâre begging me to.â
jihoon adjusted the spray again, sharper now, the stream jolting directly onto your clit. it wasnât gentle, wasnât soft. the sound that ripped from your throat wasnât human, and your body arched against the tile, your back curving like a bowstring pulled too tight. your neck stretched, your breasts lifting as your lungs fought for air, and he didnât move.
he just watched. studied, really. his eyes darted between yours, flicking from one to the other, then down to your parted lips, swollen and trembling. but then, as if he couldnât resist, his gaze fell lower, trailing the path of your shivering belly, your chest rising and falling in frantic bursts.
his grip on your waist tightened, keeping you steady as your legs buckled again. the way you shook wasnât subtleâyour entire body was trembling, your muscles pulled taut under his hands. but jihoon didnât stop. he tilted the stream slightly, letting the water flick at just the right angle again, and the sound that escaped you was downright obscene, echoing off the walls of the bathroom.
âfuck, jihoonââ your voice cracked on his name, and the way his lips twitched into a barely-there smirk made you want to scream for an entirely different reason.
âyes?â he asked, his tone smooth, but his breath wasnât. it was uneven, shaky, like he was feeling this just as much as you were. âi can feel itâyouâre so close.â
he was right. too right. the pressure built and built, your thighs clenching around nothing as your core tightened, heat pooling low in your belly and spilling over. the water, the angle, his goddamn voiceâit was all too much.
âhoon, iâfuck, iâmââ the words dissolved into a scream as your orgasm tore through you. your hips jerked forward, your body trembling uncontrollably as the spray kept hitting that same devastating spot. your moans were loud, messy, your breath hitching in sobs as your climax rolled on.
jihoon didnât move, his hand firm on your waist, keeping you upright as your legs gave out completely. he looked mesmerized, his jaw tight, his eyes flickering between your face and your trembling pussy. âfuck,â he whispered like he didnât mean for you to hear it.
but the spray didnât let up. even as you sagged against him, your hands clutching his arms for dear life, the water kept its merciless rhythm, and your overstimulated nerves lit up like fireworks. âjihoon,â you whimpered. âs-stopâtoo much, itâsââ
he blinked out of his trance, his fingers brushing your hip in silent reassurance before he turned the showerhead aside, finally giving you mercy. the sudden absence of stimulation left you gasping.
jihoonâs gaze dropped, and when he saw itâsaw the string of your cum clinging to your folds before dripping down to the tileâhis breath hitched. it was wet, but wasnât water; it couldnât have been. it was too viscous, too familiar. the memory of your taste, sweet and unique flickered in his mind, and he swallowed hard.
#seventeen imagines#seventeen reactions#seventeen x reader#seventeen scenarios#svt imagines#seventeen headcanons#seventeen#seventeen smut#svt smut#woozi smut#woozi fanfic#woozi imagines#seventeen woozi#woozi seventeen#woozi x reader#svt woozi#woozi headcanons#woozi x y/n#woozi x you#jihoon smut#jihoon x reader#jihoon x you#jihoon imagines#lee jihoon#woozi#jihoon
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Theo drew in a breath as they spoke of what it had been like after Sloane's betrayal. He missed working with Samantha in the field but he was so relieved she had an office position that kept her safe instead. He thought about Violet and her potential disorders. He had noticed she stayed away from the big window in the past, but he also understood why. "They manifest and you work them out as you go. I didn't really understand my OCD for a long time and then the paranoia made it much harder to reach out for an explanation." His counterpart had done a number on her thought and he had to think for a moment on what to say. "I suspect that a fear of heights is only natural after what you have been through. But you see now how these things come about?"
He nodded about there being enough agents to merit a HR department, though even he didn't know exact numbers. However he should have expected her to fire off with relentless questions. Theo did feel overwhelmed for a moment and he wondered if he should shut the conversation down or risk destabilising how far he had come in the last few days. There was plenty there he wouldn't answer and he regretted opening up the option for her to ask. "They send another agent still, I have recruited a couple of people myself. I sit with them and talk about the work and ask them to join, giving them instructions on what to expect." Whether or not that was the right way he wasn't sure but he felt it was the best he could offer.
He purposefully skipped over how he was assigned missions and coded messages, she had a letter from Delta Green and that was enough. He didn't want her digging through his mail looking for triangles to see if or where he was going next. "I no longer have a team," he said plainly, "My team was Samantha and Sloane and he went and put an end to that. Since then I am either sent to other groups of agents on missions to discipline or lecture them or partnered up with agents when I am needed. They're strangers." Most of them anyway. Despite his trust issues he still had favourites. He dodged over the questions on monsters and she gave him the perfect excuse to do so with her final question. She should not have known about the Apocalypse Club and he raised a very fatherly eyebrow at her.
"It's a cultist ring, I am the lead agent in bringing it down one by one. Middle-Sized Tony is one of their leaders." He did not specify it was in the city, nor that it was a physical place, not wanting Violet to go looking. "They're very dangerous people. A lot more put together and in control than Sloane. They mainly work in crime and amass ridiculous funds through it." Of course he had his own instructions on handling them from the Horned One but he had to bring cultists in enough that he was still able to stay the lead, in a way he felt it balanced out. "I wouldn't normally leave my files out like that, I am sorry I did and you saw. It won't happen again." There was still elements of fear in his tone despite himself, as if he was preparing to be punished in the back of his mind and trying to mitigate against it.
However, he saw her embarrassment about the letter incident and shook his head. "I should have been more respectful in how I handled that too. I never meant to upset you but I panicked," Theo explained honestly and watched her carefully in case he upset her further. "I'm sorry I shredded your letter," this apology much more genuine than the last. "I should have explained this to you sooner. But it's easier now that you know why I didn't want you to read it. I was so scared."
đđđđ & đđđđđđ @multipleoccupancy
"It must have been difficult," she mused a little bit sadly, "when Samantha stopped working as an agent. If she was the only one you trusted..." Her dad must have felt really alone, especially after Sloane's betrayal. "I understand that you're distrustful, after what Sloane did." But then again, it seemed that was a disorder, gained from his time as an agent. "How will I know if... if I have a disorder? I've seen so many things already. And... I still can't get anywhere close to the window." Violet didn't usually talk about that. She supposed it was obvious, and yet she pretended it wasn't an issue.
Violet was very curious about Samantha's job, now. Luckily for her, Samantha was around. Maybe she could ask her about it? "There are a lot of agents, then?" Enough for Delta Green to need an HR representative.
Her dad had just allowed her to ask him whatever she wanted to know, and yet Violet fell silent for a few seconds. The questions were jostling each other in her mind, leaving her speechless. She felt like it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and didn't want to waste it on stupid questions! "How do they recruit agents now, then? And how do they tell you your missions? Do they send coded messages? Do you know the other agents on your team?" Surely her dad wouldn't be surprised to hear her firing questions at an impressive rate. Fastest draw in New York! "What's the scariest monster you've ever seen? How many monsters have you killed?" And finally, a question she asked with a blush on her cheeks: "What's the Apocalypse Club? I just- your file was opened on the table, and I saw the name."
After that, she had to take a moment to catch her breath.
"I understand now, why you were worried. Why you shred the letter. You were just protecting me. They shouldn't have sent that letter in the first place, not after what they did to you." Violet looked down, embarrassed by the huge tantrum she had thrown about that letter.
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Pros of Pursuing Photography as Your Career
Red Velvetâs Son Seungwan/Wendy x Male Reader
0.6k words
Prequel to Reticence
âWhoâs your mommy, huh?â Seungwan asks, one hand shuffling your hair gently, the other pumping your throbbing length up and down.
âYou are my mommy,â you reply with your mouth on one of her pert breasts, a hand kneading the other under that midriff-revealing top. Satisfied hums come out of her closed lips.
Sheâs sharp in her seductionâso tender, yet so effective. That Grooverhyme campaign sparked the fuse within youâfor her, but thereâs probably zero chance. You thought she was just being nice from all of those interactions, but one confessional kiss in the bathroom at the companyâs party was all it took for you to fall under her spell. She fell for you tooâa part-time photographer for SMâafter all.
âDo you like being jerked off by mommy like this?â Seungwan asks another question, hands unbuttoning your shirt. âDoes it feel good?â
âYes, mommy. I love being jerked off by you like this.â Itâs a rhetorical question, really. You donât expect yourself to answer anything else when youâre lying down on the couch with one of her nipples in your mouth like this.
âHmm, what a lovely mouth you have, baby boy.â She draws shapes and patterns on your scalp atop of the handjob, making you groan in pleasure.
Her chest feels so soft in your mouth and your handâbrown nipples, small size. Youâre ecstatic that she lets you do this. You fucking love her tits. Fuck, you just love everything thatâs hers.
With a few swift movements, your shirt comes undone, revealing your abdomen. Seungwan canât stop herself, of course. She draws her hand from playing with your hair to your chest. Your moans grow louder under her lively touches.
âYour hands feel so good, mommy,â you say, so lost in the throes of delight sheâs giving you. You wish you can just stay like this forever, being jerked off and sucking her tits like this.
Seungwan giggles. âThanks, baby boy.â
Her hand plays with your cock so adeptly, taking swipes off your leaking slit when sheâs at the top and tightly grip you when sheâs at the bottom. Your orgasm cannot come sooner.
Every good thing must come to an end, though, as Seungwan looks at the clock on the wall.
âBaby boy, Iâm so sorry. Iâll have to finish this quicker than I thought.â
You whimper in disappointment, but you understand the busy nature of her job. âOkay, mommy.â You prepare to get up, but Seungwan presses you down, not wanting you to leave yet.
âIâm gonna make you cum first, baby boy. On three, alright?â
âYâYes, mommy.â
She quickens the pumps, determined to make you reach the precipice. You can feel it in your loinsâthat feeling.
âOne.â
Itâs there, the wave is coming. Seungwan goes even quicker with her hand. Your breath comes out in shallow pants onto the firmness of her chest.
âTwo.â
She grips you like a vice. Sheâs so eager, yet so gentle in making you cum. You pant even more quickly as she smiles brightly. Itâs sincere. She wants to make you cum. She wants her baby boy.
âThree, cum for me, baby boy, cum for me.â
Your dam breaks. White spurts land everywhereâon your firm chest, on Seungwanâs face, on her hand, even some can be found on her tits. You moan in satisfaction, over and over. Your eyes flutter in ecstasy.
Your orgasm then subsides. You finally look up again to see Seungwan beaming at you, cum-smeared on her angelic face. She laughs softly.
âYou did so well, baby boy, you did great for mommy,â she says.
âThanks, mommy. Are we doing this again?â
âDefinitely, baby boy, definitely, well, maybe.â
â
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The Other Woman
Pt 1
The doctors and psychologists said itâd be great for your husbandâs well-being to be with friends and family. And for the most part, thatâs proven true.Â
Insisting on welcoming Satoru back properly, his students organised a party and invited anyone who had a remote connection with their teacher. Even Nanami had taken time off from work to be here and had given a polite pat on his shoulder and a genuine greeting.Â
That brought a huge smile to the white-haired man who pounced on the poor guy without remorse, giggling about how he knew he âalways liked him reallyâ. It felt great to watch him be surrounded by and showered with so much love and support, the kind he deserves; you could tell it was bringing life back to him. After all, it must have been painful for him to have been cooped up in the house trying to reconcile his new reality with the one he remembers.Â
You keep reminding yourself of that.Â
Satoru needs this.Â
He needs normalcy. The normal he remembers, the normal he went to sleep thinking about and not the one he had suddenly woken up to, years passing him by.Â
Everyone knows this. He knows this. Just as you do.Â
So why is every person in the party sneaking you pitying and concerned glances?
Sure, no one could possibly think this is easy for you, to be the stranger that Satoru still gets surprised to see in the morning. The one he hesitates to say goodnight to, unsure of the boundaries, the etiquette, the right thing to do. He sometimes forgets to text you if heâs going out, shocked and annoyed, youâre sure, to see the many missed calls and messages from you. And you know he studies the picture frames all over your house like a textbook that would give him all the answer he needs.
All he gets, youâre willing to bet, is the realisation that youâre both the tether he needs to keep grounded, that guides him through the sea of memories he cannot touch, and the leash that binds him to a role he doesnât remember signing up for.Â
Are they looking at you with worry because of the inevitable toll this sudden shift has taken on your mental health or because your husband is talking to his ex-girlfriend the way he used to talk to you?
It canât be the latter, right?
Because thereâs nothing to be worried about.Â
Satoru is simply catching up, trying to stitch up the crater-sized hole in his memory with a familiar face. Thereâs no reason for your hand to shake as you sip your drink or for your eyes to keep darting back over to them, sat alone at a table like theyâre the only people in here.Â
Heâs laughing, throwing his head back and making that obnoxious cackle you love to hear. Loved. Because this one isnât for you. Itâs for her. The woman he shouldnât be near, the woman he shouldnât even think about, shouldnât let touch his arm.Â
Youâre the wife.Â
Youâve got the ring to prove it.Â
Heâs wearing it. Just not on the hand attached to the arm strung over the back of her chair like heâs protecting her from the rest of the world. Hell, maybe he is. Maybe his infinity is on and covering her. But you donât have it in you to throw something at them to find out. Either result would be just as humiliating as the other.Â
Thereâs nothing to be done.Â
You canât interrupt.Â
Because Satoru needs to know what he said goodbye to all those years ago to know what he says âhey, pretty ladyâ and âgood morning, gorgeousâ to now. Or used to say. Now, youâre lucky if he even looks at you without shuffling his feet.Â
Eventually, the night draws to its natural end.Â
People bid their farewells twice, once to him and her, and then to you. Each time breaks your heart even more until you feel it crumble inside, little shards falling to pieces he wonât pick up. She stands before you, a small, shy smile, like she knows what sheâs done. And says itâs âlovely to meet youâ, and of course you canât say it back.Â
Not when you had been introduced by your name, âmy beautiful wifeâ going nowhere near the tip of his tongue as if those words had never been uttered by your husband. And not when she had been introduced in a hastily withdrawn, stuttered freudian slip of hell.Â
âThis is my girlfrâ Sorry, I mean, my friend. From high school. Yeah, high school.â
Satoru blushes, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he waves goodbye to her. And you can tell he finds the act lacklustre, an uninspired, unnatural way to say goodbye to the woman you woke up to and slept beside.Â
âDid you have a good time?â
He nods, a soft smile playing on his lip as he casts his gaze across the room, sweeping by the empty hall like he can still see every single person that came. âIt was nice to see everyone and catch up.â
Youâre thankful he doesnât ask if you enjoyed the evening because you canât lie to him but you also canât tell the truth, canât burden him anymore with the reminder that he doesnât fill the shoes of your husband, that he continues to stumble with every step, dragging you down with him.Â
So, instead, you fill the silence with a question that is so harmless, so normal it slips out before you can even think to anticipate the devastating crack that goes through your very soul.Â
âReady to go home?â
Satoru nods.
But heâs looking at a seat in the back.Â
A seat thatâs probably still warm. A seat you could never fill because you arenât the woman he thought, hoped, he would marry.Â
Youâre just the woman he did.Â
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felicitas and her general
summary: general acacius has caught your attention after being the first mortal to worship you in decades. you only face one challenge: don't get too attached.
warnings: rated g, contains spoilers for gladiator ii, follows the timeline of the movie somewhat, reader is the goddess felicitas (who is the goddess of good luck,) this fic is basically just an add on to the movie.
tags: goddess!reader x general acacius, emotional infidelity, lots of roman mythology stuff, writer is basing all her knowledge out of what she remembers from PJO and HoO, worship, complicated feelings, marcus does not cheat on lucilla physically, yearning, pining, grieving, guilt, major character death(s), stalking (kind of), a lot of obsession/dedication, angst, hurt no comfort but also hurt with comfort.
a/n: i watched gladiator ii and then was too emotionally devastated to finish this fic the way i planned. i really hope you all like this!! also, this fic is also dedicated to my dear friend @pascalssbabyy because she is my biggest cheerleader and i love her <33
wc: 7.2k (not beta read)
It was he who woke you.
A quiet sacrifice in the evening that felt like the freshest breath of air you could have, more intense than what you could have atop any mountain, near any spring. The scent of burning meat and smokey vegetables grasped at your lungs, and you almost choked on it. How long had it been since someone had offered you something so kind? Real food, not just scraps of something they didnât wish for.Â
Youâd never complain about how difficult it is to be a minor Goddess, you know that you could be a mortal, but most donât think of how Gods can fade. Itâs a physical process, one where youâd notice how your fingertips passed through things like chalices and bowls, how a spoon slid through your hand once. The clatter of gold on the table was embarrassing, even though you were alone. Nothing about being forgotten, or fading, physically hurt. It was only mentally taxing, knowing that you werenât as important as you once were, that mortals found you insignificant.
Generals used to come and offer things frequently sometime ago, but you couldnât even begin to understand how long ago that was. When youâre immortal, or supposed to be, mortal lives seem fleeting. You had taken them for granted, and regret it now, for all you have now are the empty clouds above your temple.Â
The last offering you can gather was from a young boy, who wanted to win a board game against his sister the next day. He had given you half a bun with strips of meat. Sure, it was thoughtful, but this was something rich.Â
You finish inhaling the offering, and then hear the offerer's voice. But itâs muffled, and you want to see who it is anyways, so you swipe through the clouds and create a window to see. Then you can hear him clearly.
Someone who is clearly a general kneels at your altar, which is chipped and dirty. The ashes of the food are in front of him, smoking still, and you can taste the wealth in his meal. It canât distract you from him though, he is striking.
Broad shoulders support a heavy, curly, grey, head of hair, which is bowed in honor of you. His body is widely built, sturdy for battle, and his voice is just as powerful. Youâre so focused on hearing his voice you only catch the tail end of his request.
â... Allow me to come home safely, if not for Rome, then for my wife.â
Your heart squeezes, and you swear you can feel the ichor gushing through your veins. Scarcely when a General came to give you an offering all those years ago would he mention a wife, only ever wishing for luck in the upcoming battle or war. But here, now, youâve been given a respectful request and offering. It isnât a thought in your mind to not favor him now, your eyes closing and your mouth murmuring a blessing to him. It feels intoxicating to use some of your power again, especially on someone who asked for it. It also feels intoxicating to watch this General leave.
He looks around before he goes, seeming to note how degraded your small temple has become. The statue of you that lies ahead of your altar is yellowing, and ironically, multiple fingers have broken off. The General seems displeased by this, sighing as he exits the temple.
His gait is heavy, sandaled steps weighted as he walks down them and into the torch-lit night. You find yourself looking for him even after heâs disappeared from your sight, the warmth of gratefulness hugging around you. Part of you knows better than to play around with the thought, but still you wish to know more about him.
â
It worsens when he comes back. A few times a week he returns, offering rich foods. Itâs been a month now, and you are coming back to life.
Fading didnât feel like anything, but coming back feels like so much more. The first few offerings had your body feeling alight again, like the ichor in you was flowing again, but within the last two weeks youâve gotten your fingertips back. They were tingling for a day and then the next you were able to properly grasp things again, nothing was slipping through you.
In that time you had also learned his name. A guard had come looking for him one night, and stood behind him whilst he prayed. You had found yourself smiling when he didnât interrupt himself, instead acting aggravated once he had finished. The guard had apologized for interrupting and let him know that âYour wife wishes to speak to you, General Acacius.â
Acacius.Â
You still donât know his first name, but it is enough. You can think of it when you feel lonely, when you are bored. Something to associate with the offerings, with the blessings. The fact he has been so consistent hints at a desperation, which would usually repel you from blessing him, but he is the only one who seems to recognize you. His efforts are not going to go unseen by you, not when you have so little to do.
You can feel yourself conceding to your need to know him more, but just as you begin to fight yourself again, he shows up.
Tonight heâs dressed a little nicer. Usually he arrives in a plain tunic but this one has golden trim on it, and his hair is a little more tousled. He stumbles into your altar holding something in a cloth, but heâs walking like heâs⌠drunk?Â
Acacius meanders to your altar, grabbing a torch along the way, and then empties the contents of the cloth. It produces a small dessert bun, a Libum, or honey cheesecake, and your mouth waters. So much of the food that is given to you is savory meats, masculine foods that are heavy on the senses, but this is sweet and delicate. You can, of course, eat whatever youâd like. Youâre a Goddess, and though you arenât major, you are still very fortunate.
But this feels thoughtful.
The General drops to his knees after lighting the bun ablaze, swaying slightly, and now you know he must be drunk.
âGoddess Felicitas,â he begins as normal, âI am sorry I am later than usual. Though I donât know if Goddesses sleep. I was⌠caught up in other affairs, but I made it in time.â
He is less eloquent than usual and seems particularly focused on how it is nearly past midnight.
âI brought you this though,â he gestures to the half burnt bun. âI wanted to bring you something different than meat and⌠things. I thought a dessert would be fitting for that task.â
Acacius pauses now. His thoughts are probably muddled from whatever he drank, and you find yourself smiling. Foolery has never been so endearing to you.
âYou have been listening to me, I suppose. My requests for luck in battle have been answered, as well as my safety being ensured. Your blessings have brought my wife peace of mind, something I could not previously afford to her.â
He looks so small in your temple tonight. Normally he is not so vulnerable, but his shoulders sag as he mentions his wife. Some sort of shame runs over him at the idea that he could not ease his wifeâs worries, but it makes you feel better that you could help.Â
âGoddess Felicitas, I come here tonight bearing no requests, just gratitude. Your blessings have soothed wounds I could not see, and I feel like a young soldier again. You invigor me.âÂ
Then, he leaves.Â
You watch helplessly as he stumbles back down the steps and away from your temple, and more than ever you wish to chase him. The love he has for his wife is clear, and you hold no jealousy of that, but you wish it were you. Something in you is deeply attached to this General now. He has awoken you so much more than rekindling your power as a goddess, more than releasing you from the grief that comes with fading. Yes, Acacius has made your heart beat again, your mind curious again, and you feel seen. Being worshipped is not the same as being loved, if that were true youâd have had many children by now,Â
But after so long being forgotten, this feels like what you remember being loved as.
â
You try not to interact with the other Gods for the most part. They tend to meddle in things they donât need to, and are sensitive. You are not exempt from this stereotype, but thatâs only more reason for the distance.Â
But today, you venture to meet another deity.
Morpheus is not hard to find. He is pretty stationery where he is, usually lounging on a rock or bench near his temple, or above it in the clouds. He is a bitâŚdramatic, from what you remember, but wise.Â
Today he is stretched out on a cloud above his temple, eyes shut. His pale skin stretches taut on his bones as his lean frame breathes deeply. But, he is not asleep.Â
âMorpheus,â you speak.Â
His body rolls toward your direction, eyes still shut, but a small smile on his face.
âO young goddess Felicitas, what brings you to me?â He questions.
Itâs hard not to feel embarrassed. Youâve spoken to Morpheus on very rare occasions, but heâs always been somewhat helpful, though nosy. Dreams tell a lot about people, and when heâs the one giving them to people, itâs hard to hide anything at all.
You donât want him to know of your true affection for General Acacius, just that he is⌠worthy of a visit.Â
And so you begin to describe it to Morpheus, your need to visit Acacius. He doesnât open his eyes at all, but he raises his eyebrows a lot and seems bemused at your situation. Youâre only halfway through your rambling before he raises a gangly limb and waves at your words.
âFelicitas, you think you are the only Goddess wishing to visit her admirer? You need no explanation,â he says jovially.Â
Morpheus reaches into the air and pulls 6 black berries into existence, then drops them into your open palm.
âWhen you know he is asleep, bite down on one of these and think of him,â he describes to you.
The berries smell like nothing, but a powdery residue is left on your skin as you roll them in your palm. It doesnât repel you at all.
Tonight, you will visit him and express the same gratitude he did to you.Â
â
Marcus lays next to his wife, Lucilla, with her hand in his. She fell asleep sometime ago, leaving him to lie awake by himself.
He didnât make it to her temple tonight and the guilt is festering in his body. Marcus knows that she is a Goddess, that he probably isnât a thought in her mind. He knows that he is just another whiney mortal, giving her food that isnât nearly as good as whatever Gods eat. His insignificance grows as he feeds into his guilt.Â
Stress has permeated his life for much of it, from his time as a young soldier up until now, as a General. Battles, politics, and his family, have created a breeding ground for him to be wracked with anxieties, but he stays strong. Thanks to his time in Felicitas temple, itâs been better.
Which is why failing to make it to her temple tonight is making him feel so bad.
He grabs at the linen sheets of his bed, stressing and trying to reassure himself until he falls asleep finally.
â
Being in a dream is weird. It feels much the same as it does when you disguise yourself as a mortal, the out of body experience is semi-familiar, but itâs weird because someone else is there.
Youâve been watching the General enjoy the lake in front of him for a few minutes now. He hasnât slipped into it, but just walks along the waterline. It seems like he is looking for something. Surely his dreams usually contain more action, or perhaps are memories, so you assume it may be strangely understimulating for him.
The appearance youâve chosen is one of modesty, but elegance. A seafoam green peplos hangs off your frame delicately, with golden clasps at the wrists and waist. You did your hair so it would be tucked out of your face. There is no guarantee that Acacius will recognize you like this, but you look much like your statue thatâs within your temple.
Swallowing your nerves, you shimmer yourself into visibility. The grassy field is odd beneath your feet, and you walk toward him with uncertainty in each step. Youâve never met with a mortal before, and you havenât stepped on anything earthy in a long while. His broad stature only becomes more daunting as you get closer, especially since he seems so focused.
You will have to speak first. Youâre much too quiet in this environment, and you must act fast lest he wake before you get his attention.
âGeneral Acacius,â you speak firmly, though your hands shake.Â
This is so unfamiliar to you. Youâve barely even seen his face, as heâs usually bowed at your altar. It is the first time youâll see him at an equal level, the first time youâll have brought yourself to him rather than him to you.Â
He turns quickly, an instinctual aggressiveness toward the unknown. You stand about 10 feet from him, eyes widening.
Acacius is striking. His nose is what you focus on first, strong in shape and line, but behind it are his eyes which look to you with wide acknowledgement. His hair curls around his head in greying ringlets, like a permanent laurel crowning him. The wide expanse of his back was once impressive, but now you can see the solid wall which he becomes when facing you. Nothing could push him over it seems, a man built to stand.
Your heart squeezes the way it did the first time he gave you a request, a tender rush tingling your whole body. No words come out of either of your mouths, and the General drops to one knee instantly.Â
He recognizes you.
âGoddess Felicitas,â he rushes out in a breath. His chest is heaving as he bows his head and no, no this isnât how you want this.
Your feet are moving before you can focus on your anxiety, bringing you so close to him that you can kneel too. Maybe a goddess should not kneel before a mortal general, but you are just on your knees rather than putting yourself below him. Your peplos billows a little as air rushes through it when you hit the grass.
He is above you like this, and you tilt your head to see his face again. His strong brow is furrowed, eyes squeezed shut like he is afraid of you.Â
âAcacius,â you say softly, âI am not here for⌠for ill reason. Please relax yourself.â
You lean back as he relaxes, head tipping upwards as he kneels in front of you as well. Now you can meet his eyes, see the crinkles that are beside them, and really take him in.
An energy of anxiety is shared wordlessly, with him stiff from the sight of a literal goddess, and you with the fear of⌠something.Â
The identity of your anxieties isnât something that you can figure out. Maybe itâs too much to see such a handsome mortal, or maybe itâs that youâre going to thank him for his offerings so personally. Maybe itâs humiliation from this act. What would other Gods think of this? Is it not degrading to become so attached to a mortal? Are you no better than Zeus or Hermes, the gods who interact too intimately with mortals?Â
The sound of his labored breathing alerts you, calls your attention back to the present moment.Â
âI wanted to thank you,â you admit meekly, âfor your offerings. You have been very generous and⌠devoted.â
His eyes are shifty, and you can see the terror in him still. You donât want him to fear you, but you can understand why. Visits from Gods or other deities can mean trouble, but you arenât significant like that.
âGeneral Acacius you are the first mortal who has acknowledged me in a long time,â you offer a vulnerability, perhaps trying to soothe him.
It feels so backwards for you to be kneeling in front of him, speaking. He has done so in front of your altar for many weeks now, but now the spots are switched, yet you are still in power. You avert your gaze as you speak up, wanting to request something of him.
âYouâve been so generous to me, General, I was hoping to know more about you.â
And now, rather than scared, he seems suspicious.Â
âTo know me?â He clarifies.Â
You nod.
âI only know your last name. I think I could offer more luck and splendor if we were more⌠personal.âÂ
Gods that felt awful to say. Youâre no better than the whorish brutes on their thrones, offering petty glories for intimacy. Everything feels flirtatious but thatâs not what youâre looking for. Acacius has a wife he clearly loves, you would never want to interrupt that.Â
He seems to hesitate, but he knows he cannot refuse you. So far your blessings have brought ease to his life, he wouldnât want to lose that.
âThen⌠yes, I suppose I can offer myself if it would please you.â He responds stoically.Â
And it does please you, to know his name. Marcus Acacius, the one who woke you, the one who has saved you from being a fragmented memory within the temples.Â
Marcus Acacius, who you are too fond of.
â
You visit him 3 more times. In an attempt to space out the usage of the berries Morpheus gave you, you only visit him once a week. The bleak tasting berries are sour on your tongue, a rotten sour which lingers once you wake up, but itâs worth it.
The two of you have grown closer, with Marcus opening up more. He tells you about the stresses in his life, how much anxiety is buried in him. But, heâs confident for the sake of his wife. Youâve learned that her name is Lucilla, and much more about her. Marcus talks about her a lot, in passing or retelling something she told him. In the small amount of time youâve gotten to know him, youâve gotten to know her as well.
It burns you with a strange warmth, a desire and envy which makes your stomach growl. You are hungry for him to admire you in the same way, to speak of you, but doesnât he already? Shame grips your throat when you think of it. You are a Goddess who he sacrifices to, who he wishes to have blessings from. What more do you need? A mortal couldn't offer you what another deity could.Â
After the fourth meeting, you found yourself lonely. Lazing back in the clouds above your temple, you woke with a deep hunger. Marcus is beautiful, an admirable man, and he loves passionately. You are already being such a glutton for even speaking with him, meeting with him repeatedly, so why must you yearn for him too?Â
Worship isnât enough, you want what you will never let yourself to have.
Nothing hints that he might feel similarly. His starry gaze which lands on you is not due to your beauty, your personality, or anything more. You have blessed him, and that is why his eyes glitter. Goddess status has never made you feel so low and isolated. Still, you are happy to help him achieve what he wishes, even as it cripples your heart.
Tonight you plan on visiting him. That fourth visit was a week and a half ago, he may be wondering where you are. He still comes to your altar each night, but the prayers are less personal. Marcus saves his stories and ramblings for when the two of you are in the field, or near the lake, when the two of you are really alone.
â
You bite into the berry at around midnight. Its tangy yet death-tasting juice floods your mouth, clinging to the crevices between your teeth and staining your gums. Closing your eyes, you think of Marcus, and his curls, and his eyes, and his nose, and his strong hands.
And then you are there, and he is waiting.Â
It seems like his subconsciousness has picked to be at the lake today, and heâs sat in the sand at the edge of the water. You walk over to him, but notice how⌠down he appears to be.
âShe is not happy with me,â Marcus confesses before you even sit down.
You stand a few feet back from him, looking at how his curls fall around his bowed head.
âLucilla?â You ask softly.
He nods.
A wicked feeling begins to steep in your heart. She is upset with him, he is in need of you for something more than a blessing.Â
And so you listen.Â
Itâs one of the longer meetings the two of you have had. Marcus doesnât cry, but he seems truly upset. Heâs been called to go off somewhere far again, to fight and kill. Reassurances that you will protect him as best you can only soothe him so much.Â
He doesn't care if he dies, he cares that his beloved is distraught over this.Â
The more the two of you talk, the closer you get. There are marks on the sand from where you originally sat, but now you kneel in front of him, with creased brows and worried eyes. This isnât something you can fix, you arenât familiar with love and its intricacies.Â
His knees were tucked closer to his chest before, but theyâve loosened now and his fists rest atop them, clenching. Frustration sits on his face like a mask, one you wish to take off him.
Touching is not⌠something either of you partake in. Sometimes your shoulders will brush when you sit together, but nothing more has ever been initiated.Â
That is why it doesnât surprise you when he flinches as your hand reaches out to rest on top of his right clenched fist.Â
âMarcus,â you say softly, wanting to offer comfort, but he cuts you off.
âDonât,â he replies swiftly.
At first it hurts, watching as he waves off your hand from his own, but then you look at his face rather than where your hands were joined. The frustrated look on his face is gone, replaced with something worse, something guilty. His eyes arenât glittering at you like usual, nor are they hardened with anger.
Theyâre soft pools of conflict that mirror your own.
It doesnât soothe your burn, satiate your envy. You can see in his eyes that maybe you arenât alone in these feelings of admiration, of want, but maybe this is not what you want.
Maybe you want a different universe, one where he doesnât have to be a mortal and you, a Goddess. So you wouldnât have to worry about him dying, and have this friendship survive off death flavored berries. Maybe you want a universe where he isnât married, where he could be yours and you wouldnât feel like a spectator to his heart.
Maybe you want that, but you wonât get it.
Instead the flames of jealousy die in your chest and are replaced with tumors of guilt. Your whole body feels bloated, embarrassed, and ugly.Â
The pair of you stare at each other, a stupid realization between the both of you as you realize that your secrets have been spilled, even though itâs the same one.
His eyes donât move from yours, so you move from his.
The sandy edge of the lake does not look so bright now, even though there are no clouds in Marcusâs dream.Â
âWhen do you leave?â You ask softly.Â
You will not follow him into whatever battle heâll win. Donât embarrass yourself, Goddess.
He tells you two weeks. You say youâll see him before then.
Then you wake on a cloud again, with a cavity of guilt in your chest.
â
Marcus wakes alone.Â
Lucilla had not wanted to sleep with him that night, choosing to stay elsewhere. She didnât tell him where, she left in a quiet flurry of tears and anguish.
Itâs easier for him to feel guilt over his Goddess than it is to hurt his beloved, even if it is the same.
In a moment of frustration he grasps at the sheets, turning over and biting at his pillow. The bed is so cold, and the room smells like stale air even though the window is open, the night breezy.Â
He knows she is beautiful because she is a Goddess. All Goddesses are beautiful, ethereal beings that mortals cannot even comprehend at times. Marcus knows he is lucky to even perceive her, for her to have chosen to visit him.
Yet through all her blessings, he feels cursed.
A plague of emotional infidelity is crawling through his body, sticking to his bones and making him stiff. Everything he does has felt flat for so long, from pretending he is grateful to the Emperors, to now pretending nothing is wrong in his marriage. Heâs scared, and exhausted.
Marcus rubs a hand over his face after rolling over and sitting up in bed, groaning into his palm.Â
At first he tried to blame her for it. What would a Goddess want from a successful General other than a demigod hero son? What could truly be so special about him? He assumed she was manipulating him, using some sort of power to morph his heart, but now he knows it is not true.
If she had wanted to, she would have had him by now, and he knows this. If she had wanted to, her hand would have stayed where it was tonight, and pushed him further. It isnât unlike the Gods to force themselves on a mortal, but she didnât.
Instead, his hand feels hot where hers rested, and his mind is spinning.Â
Marcus doesnât fall asleep again, afraid that heâll see her.Â
â
You wait for a full two weeks before you visit him again. He had been coming to your temple less, and you had assumed he was busy with preparations for the coming battle.Â
The stubbornness you felt that night has not left you. At first you did not leave your temple in fear that you would grow attached, now you remain there because you have grown attached.Â
âEnough is enough,â you had thought to yourself.Â
But it is hard not to miss him, and his soothing prayers. The way his offerings tasted of smoke and sweet, and how heâd always burn such a large portion. Marcus never gave you scraps, he seemed to refuse to.Â
However, you can only distance yourself so far.Â
It is quiet when you approach him. He is sitting in the field this time, the lake a distant glitter in your eyes. He does not face you, but his head isnât bowed like before.
âMarcus,â you greet, your voice muted.
He raises his head, turning over his shoulder and nodding, as if to direct you to come closer, and so you do.
Tonightâs visit isnât vulnerable, or even pleasant. Marcus seems so distant as he dryly tells you about how heâs preparing, and his wishes to return safely. His eyes barely meet your own as he talks, and he continuously twists the ring on his finger.
It grows tiring, watching him ramble about politics you could care less about, listening to him say things that have nothing to do with him. Heâs so far from the friend you thought you had made. When the air between you goes quiet, you donât fill it for a while. You listen to the sound of the wind in the grass as his eyes still will not meet yours. Itâs breaking you apart.
This is the last night youâre able to visit him, unless you visit Morpheus again. You will not waste it like this.
âWhat is ailing you, General?â You ask, deciding to prod more than you usually do.
To your surprise, he scoffs in light laughter.
âYou,â he responds quietly.
His words donât hurt, at least not yet. You have the option to walk away now, wake yourself and leave him with his final blessings, but of course you donât.
âMe?â You ask, âwhat have I done?â
Marcus rolls his shoulders back, lifting his head to look into the everblue sky above the both of you.
âYou have made my life difficult, Goddess.â
Difficult? You have made his life difficult?
You have half a mind to tear him to pieces, curse him with something awful like snakes for toes, or spoons for teeth. After all that youâve done for him, all the safety youâve provided, he is telling you that you make things difficult? How dare he? Be outraged, Goddess, for he disrespects the holy luck which you bestowed to him.
Thatâs what you should think, thatâs how most of you should feel.
But instead you feel small, and hurt. Yes, he is disrespecting all that youâve given, but also you feel like a failure. Your physical existence is because of him, because he did not let you fade. All you wanted to do was make his life easier, help him to have an eased mind and a safer life.
But instead, heâs telling you youâre difficult.
It feels like your body is shrinking in the white peplos youâve worn, the sheer fabrics swallowing you. Shame is flooding in the form of tears behind your eyes, wetting your orbs with an unexpected outburst of emotion.
âI am sorry,â you manage weakly.
Marcus does not look at you while you cry, and you want to believe it is because he cares too much to watch, but you cannot verify that.
The wind picks up again, but it does nothing to hide the soft cries you canât hold back. Once you were a fading Goddess, now you are just a failing one.
There is no luck involved with love.
Eventually he speaks again, with his head turned away from you.
âI am sorry too,â he says. Thereâs a finality in his tone that makes you ache.
So much is said in such little words. He is sorry to you, for you, and with you. A sorrow is shared between the two of you, knowing that your hearts ache for one another as they are worlds apart yet on earth together.Â
This last berry was only supposed to mark the end of your visits, not the end of everything. It feels like this is all there is for the two of you, since itâs too complicated to continue on like this.
Thatâs why he doesnât move away when you move closer and rest your head on his shoulder as tears leak down your cheeks, or at least thatâs what youâll believe.Â
â
Time moves weirdly when youâre immortal, but it all happens so quickly.
Marcus stopped coming to offer things for you, and so you were blessing him less. Admittedly you had kept an eye on him, but not a keen one. It didnât feel right, not when you and him werenât⌠friends anymore.
But this feels too soon, too fast, too unfamiliar. Has your sadness caused you to be blind?
You watch as a man kneels in front of Marcus, panting and bloody with a sword beside him on the ground.
The only reason you are here was because you had felt the roar of a crowd all the way at your own temple, a wide distance away. It had drawn you in, and instead you had found this.
That roaring which you had heard crescendos to a new height around you as you shimmer into existence, cloaking yourself to the mortal eyes in the stands of the coliseum, but existing enough to touch him.
Arrows stick out of his front, more crushed beneath his back, as he is slumped on the white, gravel, ground. His hair is curled with tacky blood streaking through it, and he is so, so, still.
You drag your hand across his forehead, feeling the remaining heat, and in the echo of the crowd you begin to sob.Â
Everything around you is moving, changing, fighting, and screaming, but you sit invisible in the center of the coliseum, running your hands over the now dead General Acacius. There is nothing you can do to bring him back, to ease Lucilla, to save him and apologize. He is dead beneath your fingers, with arrows lodged deep in his irreparable, mortal, flesh.Â
You were supposed to keep him safe.
Hot tears run down your cheeks as you keep grasping at his armor, unable to move him or yourself. The last visit felt official, but this feels final. There is nothing more for you here, no friendship in a corpse.
Thoughts are running through your mind at the rate that your breath is puffing from your chest. The question of where he will end up in the afterlife is overwhelming you, and the chance for him to go to Elysium feels reasonable. Itâs where he should be, where he deserves to go, especially after all he had done for Rome. You donât even care why heâs here, or why he seems to have been brutally killed, but after the time you spent with him, Elysium seems right for him.
â
Itâs where he should be. Elysium is where he should be.
And itâs where you find him.
His place there is somewhat similar to his and Lucillaâs home back in the mortal world, with lush greenery and airy drapes that flutter in various colours. It seems like he has left space for Lucilla here too, with space left in the chests for her things, and a permanently made half of the bed.
Elysium offers a true celebration of life for heroes, demigodly or not, and youâre sure Marcus has been enjoying that. Anything that he had been shackled to in his mortal life was gone now, and it seems that all he would have to miss is his wife.Â
Most of your time is spent there, in his afterlife home. You peer from behind curtains when he comes back, hidden in drapes and keeping yourself small.Â
He is already dead, but after the last time you abandoned him, you cannot bear to leave him alone again.
The vision of him, bloodied and murdered on the coliseum floor, flickers into your mind every time you see him lying in his bed. Itâs an obsession to be near him, to be looking after him. Pluto might not even know youâre down here anymore, but what does it matter?
Marcus Acacius was the last living mortal to worship you. In the underworld, you are beginning to fade. Your fingers are slipping from you again, which is making it easier to lurk near him, but it is a painful process.
You want to speak to him. No longer do you yearn for his love, not after being in his home and seeing how dedicated his heart truly is to Lucilla, but you yearn to speak to him again. A panicked emotion runs through you at the thought of fading alone, of being entirely forgotten.Â
It didnât matter before he died, fading was just something bound to happen, but now itâs more. Is he forgetting you?
â
Youâve lost most of your arms by the time you work up the courage to speak up. Lucilla arrived sometime ago, joining Marcus in the afterlife. Watching them together brought some warmth to you, some kind of happiness that you couldnât have for yourself, but seeing it for him was enough.
You sit on the terrace of their home, invisible to their eyes, and somewhat to your own. From the tips of your fingers to just below your elbows, you are a specter. Grey shadow fills where your limbs used to be, and they pass through all objects. You couldnât tap his shoulder if you tried.
Oftentimes you sit, hidden, and ponder by yourself about more than Marcus. There were so many things you were adamant about when he was alive, and you regret it all now. Your determination to avoid your feelings, or at least not show them, and your need to not become attached⌠it bites at you now, a stinging, grieving, venom, that wonât leave. Your status as a Goddess blinded you to how tender that friendship could have been, and now you sit as a ghost spectator to his afterlife, obsessed with a mortal as a fading immortal.Â
The tips of your fingers pass through the glass you try to grab as you think of this on the terrace. Youâre glad that youâre such a minor deity, so at least you do not have to feel so humiliated about fading. A smile has just graced your face as you feel blessed for being so unimportant you can essentially stalk this mortal, when suddenly his voice cuts through the humid air of the space.
âFelicitas?â Marcusâ voice asks.
Itâs so hesitant that you think youâre imagining it. You thought you had their home to yourself right now, thinking they had gone to do⌠whatever souls do in Elysium, but when you turn your face, he is there.
Marcus has not worn fancy clothing in a long while now, and right now is no different. He stands before you in a plain looking tunic, which just graces his knees. To see him at ease has been so nice, but he looks distressed at your sudden appearance.
You cannot find your voice as you awkwardly stand up, trying to think quickly. There is no good way to explain what youâre doing here, hidden away in him and his wifeâs home. You could just vanish into thin air, but that feels wrong. He has seen you already, any attempts at pretending you arenât here would be ridiculous.
His eyes scroll from your face down to your arms, and the smoking shadows that used to be there. Concern pinches onto his face with knitted brows and pressed together lips.
Something in you wants him to turn away, so you donât have to think about why he is worried for you, even after all the trouble you caused, but he doesnât.
His sandaled steps are heavy as he comes to you, reaching for your hands but finding the gesture fruitless as his own slip right through yours.
âDulcissima,â he speaks weakly, shock woven in his words.
You had told him about fading a little while ago, when the two of you were in that field. Now it seems the severity of it has hit him.
What is hitting you is the name. Dulcissima, or sweetest. How long had it been since you had been referred to so fondly? All at once you are being remembered, recognized, and shown some affection. It feels like too much and tears are falling out of your control.
âIâm sorry,â you manage, âI was supposed toâ to keep you safe.â
Marcus is shaking his head already, refusing your apology.
âNo, no. You did keep me safe, you did. I pushed you away, I couldnât control myself and I caused this,â he argues.Â
It does not comfort you that you both blame yourselves. You wish to reach out to him and touch his face like you should have when he was warm and alive. You want to know if he is cold now, and itâs as if he hears you.
Marcus places a hand on your cheek, a softness in his eyes and hold that says that he missed you.
âI saw you,â he claims, âwhen I was on the ground. You were the last thing I saw.â
Somewhere between life and death for mortals, there are moments of godly clarity. Some see the light, others see their families and memories, but in that tiny glimpse of time, some see Gods.Â
He was able to see you as you knelt over him, sobbing as you were cloaked to any mortal's naked eye. You were the last thing he saw, and the last thing he truly regretted.Â
All you can do is stiltedly nod at him, feeling like you were in trouble even though it seems heâs not upset.
For a moment, his eyes flick away, contemplative, but then he meets your gaze again.
âI told Lucilla of you, before I died. Notâ not of my feelings which I struggled with, but that you were a close friend, a blessing in many ways.â
A blessing in many ways.
Another choked sob is wracked from your chest, your bottom lip curling out embarrassingly as your face contorts. He almost coos at you, the thumb on your cheek rubbing away your tears.
âGoddess, I have missed you,â he admits.Â
Stupid nods are all you can offer, your voice imprisoned in your ever tightening throat which cries. When he was alive he was never this tender, too confused and insecure to ever touch you, but it seems he has been regretting things too.
âFelicitas,â he says quietly, âdo you come here for ill reason?â
You shake your head this time, rather than nodding. You have no reason to be here, other than the fact that guilt has taken over your mind and heart since he died.
âThen relax, dulcissima. I have an offering for you.â
Marcus relaxes his stature, eyes still gazing over you. He looks at your fading palms and you watch him swallow nervously.
âI will worship you again, lending you offerings here, and all I ask in return is for our friendship again.â
Itâs the opposite of how you met, almost completely, but itâs everything you need. You will not fade, he will not struggle in marriage, and you will have one another again.Â
Again, you are nodding stupidly, but soon youâre embraced by him and nodding into his chest. His hands grasp at your back as he tells you how much he missed you in his final weeks, how he regrets losing you entirely, how he requires you as a friend.Â
You are satiated in his arms as he comforts you, awakening you again there on the terrace. Unbeknownst to you, Marcus has let tears slip down too as he holds you close.Â
âYou will keep me safe here?â he asks jokingly.
It makes you smile, the idea of offering luck to a man who already died.
âYes, General. I will keep you safe here, from all the horrifying glory and splendor,â you assure.
The two of you laugh, breaking the embrace but staying close. A passionate connection is still between the two of you, but in a different way now. Maybe when he was alive it was romantic because it is all you could think of, but through his death the two of you have come to understand it more.Â
You require one another in a unique way, and leaning on one another does not have to be intimate the way he is with his wife. Marcus does need you, just as you need him, and now that you are both immortal in a way, you will never be separated again.
please leave a comment, like, reblog, askbox, or ANYTHING. i'd love to hear thoughts on this <33
tags (people who seemed excited for this) (sorry if these dont work)
@pascalssbabyy , @moonshapedflan , @gossipgirl-03 , @kyloispunk , @frannyzooey , @coocoolahh , @bug-boy32 , @honeymarvel , @magicalmorg , @1deakybass , @tuquoquebrute , @harryshousewhore , @teeagain, @chewie-bars , @vampyyweek , @queenslandlover-93 , @amijenn , @aquanatalie
#pedro pascal#gladiator ii#gladiator 2#gladiator ii spoilers#gladiator 2 spoilers#marcus acacius x reader#marcus acacius x you#marcus acacius#general acacius#general acacius x reader#lucilla x marcus#i just realized idk lucillas last name oops#pedroverse#ellie writes
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holy shit waitâŚyour 32???
IâŚim gonna cry
I didnât know we can live this longâŚ
not just trans mass butâŚ
alterhumanâŚand plurals..andâŚ
I canâtâŚ
so happy
gonna cryâŚâŚ..
yes i am! i was born in 1992 :)
that's exactly why i have my age in my bio- i've wanted to show people that you don't "outgrow" fundamental parts of your identity. it's natural to adopt and shed identities as we age, but i've been out as genderqueer since 19! nothing has changed, i'm still the same genderqueer person i was all those years ago!
and if anything- life has gotten better in my 30s. as a word of advice to most people out there: your teen years and your twenties FUCKING SUCK!!!!!!!! they tell you those are the "best years of your life" but they're NOT- you're growing into a world that is terrifying and doesn't understand you. you're scared. your brain and body are still developing and you're constantly facing new challenges. those are honestly i think the HARDEST years of your life, hands down
when i was a teenager, i would think to myself "phht there's literally no way i'm making it past 25 lmao" and figure that life ends after 25. well, that day came where i turned 25... and nothing changed.
and then i turned 30. still, nothing changed
now i'm 32 and... nothing has changed. maturation happens with age, yes, but it doesn't mean that you're suddenly a completely different person. people have such a shitty view on 30 year olds, like it's somehow "embarrassing" to be above the age of 25 years old. people in their 30s are constantly picked on, we're constantly told to "act our age" when... we are. i'm happier than ever realizing that I made it to my 30s, still trans, still nonhuman, still plural
i've been in treatment for DID since 2017, and while i've healed a lot, i have not integrated with my alters, and i never will. i don't want to. this is how my brain functions. the dissociation can be a nightmare for me, but my brain needs different people inside of it in order to be able to function properly. we tried to force ourselves to live as a singlet for 3 years and what ended up happening was that host at that time cracked from being under the constant pressure and still has never returned. the amount of stress it placed on us to try to live as a singlet was not worth it. at all
there hasn't been a singular moment in my adult life where i stopped being nonhuman, either. that was something that i never even tried to force myself out of. i never viewed it as weird or something that i should "outgrow"- i told my own mother that i did not identify as human as a child and that never left me. even now, i still wear dog collars, ears, tails, and take nature walks and do things to make myself feel more like my nonhuman selves. i'm still a furry, too!
i might not be a queer "elder" yet, but i'm happy as can be to be able to be an older queer person who can use their experience to help younger folks. thanks for sending this message! trust me, there really is a life after your 20s. your teens and 20s suck massively. but after i passed 30 i became more down to earth about my age. it's not a bad thing to live past 20- in fact, it's a badge of honor. i made it. i'm still breathing, i'm still here, still queer, despite all attempts to prevent me from still being here.
i'm going to continue be here for a long, long time, and you can be here with me, too.
take care of yourself! thanks for stopping by!
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So let's talk!!!đ§ď¸âď¸
I wonder how you feel right now in this cold weather, lying on your warm beds, drinking hot cocoaâ, watching your favorite movie, and your family, children and all your relatives surrounding you, and love filling the place!! The most beautiful moments of your life, right?
I'm like you, I pay my life for just these moments, I told you your beautiful warm story, can I tell you my story now? Is it my turn?
I'm Joy, my mother's eldest daughter and her very close friend. She has no friends other than me. She is our friend since I was a little girl so that I could be of help to her when I grow up (after my father abandoned us and disappeared from me and my siblings).
The place I have decplaced to now makes our bodies shiver with cold every day. I have an allergy to the winter cold that makes my extremities crimson in color and a cold that never warms me, so how can I really be in a cold place that is not even a shelter !!!
This is the eighth night that I, my mother and my siblings have been sleeping hungry. There is no food, no medicine for me or even...
What can I do now that we are at the end of the road? I demand my right to life and my right to leave here.
Every day we hear bombing close to us. If we donât sleep hungry, we die in pieces from the heat of the bombing. Our paths have become narrow.
The cost of getting out of this famine, bombing and genocide for one person is $5,000 per person. Where can we get the money to get out, me, my mother and the rest of my siblings?
If there's anyone can dm me and send me msg to help me spread my link please do it , am waiting for u
And anyone can donate and save me and my family please help donate and share, i may lose my life my & family while u r drinking ur hot coffee
â
ď¸Vetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #283 )â
ď¸
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