#but fr thank u for asking all these questions I'm loving being able to think more about arthur

[queer-overwatch]

Hi!! Could I request maybe a Venture x Reader (Any pronouns will do) on like a museum date? I want Venture to yap.Please and Thank you. ( Also bless the both of you I needed more Venture content I was tweaking without them)

Venture at a Museum!

Aaa ty sm for the request!!! I love that idea so much- they are such a yapper I love them <3 also your welcome hehe, had to take thing into our own hands >:3 (also bc u didn't request a specific format (like hcs or oneshot) i just did a short lil oneshot, hope thats okay!) -Frisk

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"Look, look- they have a whole section on rocks! Kinda basic selection but it's still rocks!"

You never thought you'd be able to learn so much about rocks in one day, but it seemed like Venture had made it their personal mission to force as much information into your brain as possible. You didn't mind, really! It was always nice listening to them rant about all the cool stuff they found while walking around the museum you'd planned to bring them to, but it was a lot to take in at once.

"Augh, I love sedimentary rocks- they're my favorite! 'cuz sometimes they have like, little fossils in them and I'm like, "Woah! A cool thing in another cool thing!" and it's awesome! One time I found a trilobite fossil in a rock, it was so cool! I wonder if they have any here- that'd be so amazing! I wonder what they taste like-"

After spilling every single fact they could think of about the rocks on display, Venture drags you to a section of the museum dedicated to Egyptian history, though they mostly just seemed interested in the architecture of the pyramids. You really did try to listen, but you mostly just caught the gist of their long, long, long explanations- something about a Mastaba being like a sort of prototype to pyramids? You were just happy to see them so excited, even if you didn't quite understand what they were so hyped about.

"Oh, if only that British lady could go back to ancient Egypt and get the architects of their time to answer my questions! I'd give anything to be able to do that!" Sensing the slight disappointment creeping up on them, you decide to try and bring Venture elsewhere, not wanting them to spend any energy on being upset by what they can't do.

"Why don't we go look at the dinosaur fossils? I'm sure there's some mistakes in the descriptions that you can correct!" You take their hand, gently pulling them away from the long essay-like description of images of the pyramids that they were reading. Incising them with promises of being able to show off their intensive knowledge of dinosaur fossils, or fossils in general.

Venture perked up almost immediately, following behind you as they ready themselves to go on and on about their favorite dinosaur ever, the Deinocheirus! You tried to ask why it was their favorite ones, and all they said was something about it being "them fr fr" and having rocks in its stomach. You weren't too keen on questioning that one.

They take a large step so they're walking next to you, swinging your arms as you walk, "It's always been one of my biggest goals to find a dinosaur fossil! I really hope I do one day, if I did I could die happy!"

"Please don't die- I would be so sad if you died." You squeeze their hand, voice light as you joke with them.

"Aw but I wanna! I wanna be a fossil for future people like me to discover! When I do die I wanna be buried with a bunch of cool stuff! Maybe mess around with my bones a little, just to throw 'em off!" As you finally reach the fossil exhibits, they abandon you to run off and check over every. single. fossil. which while endearing, gave you a lot of running to do in an attempt to catch up.

"Finally! For once a museum that gets everything right! Well, everything as far as we know-" They stand next to one of the larger fossils, not anything you recognized as you take your place next to them, catching your breath.

"Wow, how impressive-" you wheeze, standing up straight and stretching out your legs as you link arms with Venture, trying to stop them from running off on you again.

They laugh, grabbing you by the shoulder and dragging you in the tightest hug you've ever received.

"Thank you, so, so, so much for planning this. And for listening to me talk about rocks so much, and for caring about me- and a million other things! I can't even remember everything you've done for me, but I know its a lot!" They let you go, still holding you by the shoulders, the biggest smile you've ever seen on a person splayed across their face.

"Of course-! I love spending time with you, you're well aware of that, silly." You laugh, grabbing their wrists and taking their hands off your shoulders, holding their hands as you admire the glow of excitement on their face.

"Welllll since you clearly don't mind, can we go to this other museum I found online next week?! I heard they have an area where you get to watch an hour long video on the story of Julius Caesar!"

[mamani-bento]

five more minutes (kento nanami)

(idk which ep this gif is from. it probably doesn't exist. collective hallucination.)

nanami x reader, 1.8k words, sequel to i'm glad you're back, gender not mentioned

'not accepting that it's time to start the day, and pinning them onto the mattress with either your whole body, a leg, or more risque touches.' from this prompt list, established relationship, fluff + comfort + one (1) innuendo

the first few days, you had needed his support just getting into the shower. then, you started being able to walk around on your own, but only indoors and not for too long. if it were up to you, if your body followed the same admittedly delusory rate of recovery that you desperately want it to, you'd be back at the school by now. the mismatch between your expectations and reality is making you caustic, biting, like a barbed wire. you don't realise that you're scowling until nanami gives your hand a mild squeeze and asks, "what hurts?"

i wasn't going to write a sequel to igyb but i saw the prompt and this happened anyway love u nanami who is safe and sound and very much so alive idk what you guys keep talking about stuff and nonsense fr

mamani-bento's masterlist!

"what are you doing?"

you instantly freeze, nanami's sleepy question behind your back stopping you in your tracks.

"oh, am i not allowed to use the washroom now?"

there's more bite in your voice than you intend, too much bitterness for this early in the morning, but you think you might very well lose it if you don't get out of bed. still, you gingerly shift until you can face him to offer a mumbled apology for the undeserved harshness.

he looks mostly unfazed, only sitting up to lean against the headboard with a barely-there frown. the blanket shifts until it's settled at his waist, broad shoulders filling out his black t-shirt and golden hair sleep-mussed. he silently raises an eyebrow at you and you sigh, knowing the game is up.

with a pained groan that you unsuccessfully try to mask, you lift your legs to place them back on the mattress, using as few motions as possible to imitate his position. the exertion leaves you tired, and it takes a few moments to catch your breath, your left side twinging in a now-familiar pain.

nanami doesn't say anything. just watches you in poorly-hidden concern as you grumble unintelligibly in annoyance. it's all very angrily-muttering-bitter-old-man of you, but your churlishness can’t be helped.

the sun is just coming up, and soft orange light pools in through the thin curtains, bathing the room in a glow that you desperately wish you could appreciate.

you warily attempt to adjust your posture, pillows placed weird and making your body twinge uncomfortably. in a smooth motion, nanami gently winds an arm around your shoulder, mindful of the still-healing cut, and slowly props you upright while making the necessary adjustments against the headboard.

you huff out a half-relieved half-annoyed 'thank you' as you settle, but you don't let his arm fully leave your person, interlacing your fingers before he can pull away. his palms are warm in your cold ones, and the interlocked unit is a comforting weight atop your thigh.

you should say something.

it's been two weeks since you came back, and you're so sick and tired of being in bandages and unable to take ten steps without needing a break, and you should tell him this.

the first few days, you had needed his support just getting into the shower. then, you started being able to walk around on your own, but only indoors and not for too long. if it were up to you, if your body followed the same admittedly delusory rate of recovery that you desperately want it to, you'd be back at the school by now. the mismatch between your expectations and reality is making you caustic, biting, like a barbed wire.

you don't realise that you're scowling until nanami gives your hand a mild squeeze and asks, "what hurts?"

"fucking everything. everything hurts! i'm so sick of everything hurting, all the damn time."

your angry outburst ends in a near-whine that leaves you cringing. you want to punch something, but you'll probably just break another bone if you try.

nanami only shuffles closer until his shoulder is lightly pressed against yours, a silent show of understanding and support as he lifts your intertwined hands to place a kiss on your knuckle. he hums as he wraps his other large palm over them, enclosing your hand in a consoling warmth.

you feel his lips against the side of your head, lingering as soft puffs from slow breaths make your hair stir. he's so solid, and he's been so lovely the entire time despite bearing witness to your recent crotchety behaviour.

the room settles into a silent stillness again. the sun's making good time, brightening it even more.

"i hate–" you start. you impatiently stop, interrupting yourself to breathe in deeply and sound less like you're complaining to the man who's been nothing but kind to you.

nanami hums in encouragement, making space for you to rant. you feel the rumble of the sound in your chest, calming you down and making you feel less like snapping at somebody.

"i hate being stuck like this. i hate being in pain every time i try to lift my arms or stand for too long. and i know i need to give it time, but i'm just...really fucking impatient, i guess," you end with a shrug, body deflating into his side at the admission.

nanami's silent for a second. then, voice soft, he says, "go on."

"what?"

"let it all out. god knows it's been building up for a while."

he's looking at you with such understanding, and again, you're hit by a wave of guilt for how you've been acting.

"are you sure? you don't want to go back to sleep?"

he takes his time to reply. he slowly unlatches your hands. then he gently nudges you to lie on your back, helping you slide down the mattress until your head is on the pillow. he mirrors you, his long body shuffling until he's facing your frame and pulling the duvet over you both.

at first, you think he's compromising by making you both go back to sleep, which you're fine with, honestly. you'll admit you could do with another few hours.

he curls a palm over your middle, guiding you to lie on your side in a practiced motion. methodically, he adjusts the pillow for your thigh, makes sure the blanket isn't caught in the bandage in your shoulder, fixes you up until you're comfortable. his palm settles solid against the skin of your hip under your t-shirt, just below where the bandage ends, and he fixes you with a firm look.

"go on," he simply repeats.

and you could die at his consideration, at his care, at the affection he's giving you, all hallmarks of his behaviour but particularly evident in the last two weeks. and then you could die some more at how disgruntled you've been in reaction to his consideration, care, affection.

sunlight is abundant in the room now, throwing the sharp planes of nanami's face into stark relief, lightening the colour of his eyes, making his hair look like messy straw. you reach a single hand out, finger extended to trace the path your eyes are taking. he continues to patiently watch you, wordlessly allows your touch to rove over him until it comes to settle on the tip of his nose, right above where a small smile is playing on his lips. you want to keep him in place, in this place where he’s calmly indulgent, and unable to help yourself, you curve your hand around the side of his neck so the tips of your fingers brush against his undercut. the extra stretch makes your shoulder twinge in protest, but you let the pain sit until you get used to it.

"i haven't been very good company lately, have i?"

it comes out more as a statement than a question, a rhetoric followed by a mirthless laugh that carries all your loathing.

"you have a broken rib."

"yes, but–"

"and a basically shredded shoulder."

"i know–"

"and a very firm order to not exert yourself for three weeks."

"kento, i get it–"

again, he interrupts you. "do you really? does any of what i just said sound easy to deal with?"

you don't reply, huffing in consternation at how much sense he's making. he must see your expression falling because his manner softens further, nudging your body closer to his as tenderly as he can. his palm is warm and solid on the small of your back.

"i'd be concerned if you were in a good mood, darling. i don't expect you to be positive about any of this."

the brightness of the room now shines like a hallowed light on the man in front of you, and you feel seconds away from being blinded, millimetres away from being burnt.

"will you at least let me know when i'm being terrible to you?"

"absolutely not. you have earned every right to be terrible."

"kento."

his smile grows into something tangible, and you wish he wouldn't tease like this. wish he wouldn’t give you rational and sensible reasons that justify your bad mood, would just let you beat yourself up and stew in self-loathing. already, despite your efforts, you feel better. 

"let's hold on for one more week, alright? then we can try walking till the end of the street."

you let out a strangled groan, already dreading the continued incapacitation. but nanami's pulling you closer now, until you're carefully tucked under his chin and your breath is fanning across his neck.

"one more week," you tiredly mumble, lips brushing against his skin. "how am i supposed to stay in bed and not be a complete terror to you for one more week?"

“we’ll figure it out. keep you active so you don’t get bored.”

you lightly nip at his jugular, so conveniently accessible this way. there’s no ulterior motive–your limbs won’t allow it–but you still feel a thrill of delight at nanami’s fingers briefly pressing into your back just a little bit, pads of his digits momentarily divoting your skin.

his amusement is evident as he replies, “not that kind of active.”

your feigned disappointed sigh yields a low chuckle, huffed breath puffing over your hair. “not allowed to touch grass, not allowed to touch you. what am i actually allowed to do?”

“you can help with the case files that gojo dropped off yesterday,” he replies, slowly making to pull away.

instantly, instinctively, you’re tightening your grip on the back of his neck, unwilling to surface. the sudden motion makes you flinch and let out a soft hiss of discomfort.

nanami immediately goes stock-still. the room is silent in a nervous pause. you breathe through the pain, letting it ebb. as your body relaxes again, two simultaneously relieved sighs emerge.

“good?”

you nod in reply, glad that he’s no longer trying to leave the bed and moving closer to you instead. a large palm soothingly rubs your back.

“five more minutes,” you softly say.

“five more minutes,” nanami easily agrees. out of the corner of your eye, you can see that it’s fully bright now. you need to eat and take your medicines, need to get your wounds cleaned and wrapped again, apparently need to do gojo’s paper work despite the fact that you desperately wish you were back in the field. but you’ve got five more minutes before all that, five more minutes to catch up to the newness of this emotional tranquility, least bitter you’ve felt in two weeks. five more minutes, and then one more week.

[bluebellhairpin]

OKAY I'M FINALLY BACK NOW LOL

Red's opinion on the gang's illegal activities is like a passive onlooker. She knows the kind of people she's with and she knew that before she joined. She knew they were thieves and murderers, and her plan wasn't ever to change that. She wanted to survive and they did too, it's just they're willing to go to greater lengths than she is, and she doesn't fault them for it.

She also knows everyone has roles in camp, and that different things are expected from different people. Some are known to be like her and not engage in illegal things unless really needed, while others are known to go so far as to seek them out. She knows Arthur is Dutch's most trusted and brutal enforcer, the muscle of the muscle. She does tend to not stray too close to the more reckless, finding solstice in ones who prefer the peace like Hosea, but she couldn't help herself with Arthur. It's like 'all or nothing' lol.

Red doesn't have much of a backstory. I do have one rdr oc backstory, but I can't see that fitting into her character (so it's a tragic story for another time). If I had to just pick one in this moment, she probably just fell on hard times. Lived an honest life, but then was pushed into leaving her home and toward the outlaw life, and the Van der Linde's happened to be who she came across first. Meeting Arthur? I can imagine he sat down at the campfire to eat dinner and she was just there. Very anti-climatic to anyone who saw it, but internally was a whole scene where hearts burst from behind their heads while 'Hello Hello' from 'Gnomeo and Juliet' played - it's just no one could see it.

MODERN AU ARTHUR; So he's a cowboy still but like. The modern definition. Rustles cattle, breaks in horses, works farms. He's a contractor, he works on one ranch for however long they can afford him to, then moves on. I can see him having one of those truck/trailer setups that doubles as a mobile home and horse float (bc Boadicea is still his little princess horsie <3). He does rodeo work too, likes the bronco events but won't go near bull riding even under the threat of death. AND HE DOESN'T GET TB BC MEDICINE IS A LOT BETTER NOW THAN IT WAS IN THE 1890'S!!! (jk he does get TB -he get's it all cured real fast ONCE HE PUTS ASIDE HIS PRIDE AND GOES TO THE DOCTOR. He has a bit of lung damage bc he left it too long, she he get's out of breath if he doesn't pace himself, but otherwise he's fine and TB free.)

I would talk about Modern AU Arthur more but if I do I'll turn into a puddle - save it for another day BUT I HOPE I'VE FED YOU ENOUGH <3333

Hi Nemo! If you're willing, can you tell me about your selfship with Arthur? 👉👈 My husband IRL has played RDR and RDR2, but I feel like I still know next to nothing about him/his world, and I want to know how you fit into it! It's evident that he makes you happy, and I'd love to talk to you more about him, I just don't know where to start!

Love you, hope you're having a good day 🩶

"It's evident that he makes you happy" OMG YOU NOTICED ����🥺🥺

Anyway, oc/selfship lore dump below bc I could bet money that this is gonna get long lol

So like all my selfships, I like to throw together a little self insert oc to match - makes things more immersive imo.

This one is only known as Red. She's quiet and keeps to herself a lot. She doesn't partake in a lot of gang activities as far as the outlaw side of things go.

Like's to keep herself as honest as possible. She does learn to hunt after a while, and that helps her bring in money bc she sells most of what she kills. She attempted to learn pickpocketing off Mary-beth, but she "has too honest of a heart to fool anyone, they'd see (her) coming a mile away". So she sticks to keeping clean and straight as far as crimes go. She could turn to bounty hunting, but again - she doesn't really enjoy the risk of killing her bounty if things turned bad, so she avoids that too.

She also had a buckskin stallion called Leroy who is her little baby boy who can do no wrong, and who she pampers SO BAD. He's actually quite cuddly, and very protective of her.

If Red was a character in-game, she'd probably join the gang's girls in venturing into Valentine during 'Polite Society, Valentine Style'. Actually I can imagine her being someone who latches on as someone who joins in on missions rather than having any specific to her like other characters. She definitely plays a role as one of the main cast in the epilogue with John - if she had a solo mission with the player it'd probably be during that time.

Her relationship with Arthur though, following in-game canon, is so tricky. Like Arthur has. Trauma. Both his past canon relationships left him a bit messed up. Eliza died, and Mary left him - and and like it's messed with his self esteem so bad lol. So I can see both him and Red skirting around 'will they wont they' for a very long time - maybe even only deciding to comfort it at the very end of the game when Arthur's trying to 'fix' everything while he's still alive. Like there's a definite fondness, maybe even favoritism, between the two and it would definitely show though when they interacted. A lot of untapped potential - painfully so - if they weren't both so emotionally constipated.

Honestly the best part of the canon-esque storyline is post game. (AND IS ALSO WHY I THINK THIS HAS SEVERLY UNTAPPED PLOY SHIP POTENTIAL!!!) Her and Charles Smith wander off to Canada and use their mutual fondness of Arthur as a gateway to a really good relationship. They settle down on some land, get married, and start a family. They're each other's 'no one else understands what I've been though or how I feel except you' person. They both lost Arthur, and he does kind of haunt them - they name their first child, a daughter, Morgan, for him. (I think the relationship progress with Charles lies a lot with how straightforward I see him coming across as - in my head he doesn't hide how he feels so much, and by then Red has a lot of regret about not acting soon enough with Arthur, so she's a lot more willing to act by that point too.)

AND FIREND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON MY MORDEN AU THOUGHTS. They're a lot less sad, BUT GOOD GRIEF. SO MUCH MORE HORNY.

[pineappleciders]

hey!! i saw that ur writing reqs were open and i was wondering if u could write (platonic) hcs of the main 4 finding out their friend, reader, is trans ftm?

++reader transitioned before meeting the main 4 and is afraid of revealing it to them, worried that their relationship as friends might change somehow or they might not even see him as a guy anymore

take your time!! i love ur writing btw !!!!!!

sp main 4 finding out reader is trans ftm

A/N: thank you so much!!! i can do a mtf or nb vers for anyone who wants it :) i'm sorry if anything is offensive or anything!!!

TRIGGER WARNING: some transphobia on cartmans part (i know this sounds bad but jsut read it😭) and probably some talk about dingalings and hoohas (very briefly)

stan marsh

he's curious about it!! like he'll ask a bunch of questions about how you found out and what it means and stuff

he honestly probably doesn't know a lot about it before u explain it to him. like he knows people are transgender but he never learned about gender dysphoria or why people transition

he might ask a few,, personal questions. he genuinely doesn't mean to be rude or weird he's just curious !! will stop and apologize if you are uncomfortable

"seriously, you don't look like you were born a girl. i never would've been able to tell."

it might make him question his own gender??? like he might talk to you about it sometimes and he explains it as 'not really feeling like either a boy or a girl'

other than that he doesn't really care, like he doesn't treat you any differently. honestly he probably forgets it if anything😭😭 like in the T.M.I. episode he asks why you aren't lining up to get ur wiener measured and then he's like oh yeah oops i forgot💀

kyle broflovski

"oh. really? like, actually? huh."

he's honestly just confused as you've never said anything about it before. he might ask why you didn't tell him but when you explain he understands and tells you he wouldn't view you differently no matter what

"i mean, i think it's stupid that some people deliberately go out of their way to misgender people. like, you've been a boy and i've always seen you as a boy, so why would i purposefully make you feel bad? that's just stupid!"

he appreciates if you teach him a bit more about it, 'cause he doesn't know a whole lot

i feel like he'd purposefully do more,, boyish things with you???? like he invites you to play football or play video games more or like idk. do boy things.

he doesn't do it to single you out, he just really wants to make sure you feel like you fit in with the rest of the guys, so he's always inviting you to meetings with the dudes and treating you like a brother

eric cartman

i feel like there are a lot of different ways this could go, but mainly i feel like he's never actually going to view you as a girl?? if that makes sense

like he'll make fun of you and probably tease you (similar the whole sand in kyles vagina thing and calling him ms. broflovski and shit yk??) but no matter how much he tries to crack transphobic jokes he still sees you as a guy

he honestly might be a little uncomfortable at first because he feels like you're 'a spy for the girls'. but he quickly gets a stern talking-to from kyle and at least doesn't voice that opinion anymore

either way as much as he hates it he still sees you as a dude, if anything it just makes him uncomfortable to think about ur (or anyones) sex so he just goes with the flow. literally dress up as anything and he'll treat you like it. he doesn't want to put that much effort into caring

so yeah he makes fun of you and misgenders you but not in a genuine way. he can try but he still views u as one of the guys so he just accepts it and moves on. again he doesn't care enough to dwell on it

kenny mccormick

he might ask a few questions like stan but he genuinely on god fr doesn't care. it literally does not affect his view on you at all

he doesn't necessarily fully understand what being trans means but he doesn't really need to to understand that u are what u are. like if ur happy being a dude then be a dude he doesn't get what's so hard to grasp for some people

kenny isn't really one for labels. he also hasn't really explored his gender and stuff and honestly?? he doesn't plan on it. it just doesn't matter to him, he's fine with just living his life (when he's actually alive and living it)

even if he does have a few erm personal questions he keeps them to himself. he knows it could be a touchy subject and he really just thinks that whatever you were born as isn't any of his business

he will defend u whenever you face harassment from certain people, like he honestly just tells them that it's not their business and to fuck off. he mostly jumps in because he knows it probably hurts to hear stuff like that and tries to tell you that it doesn't matter what other people think, all that matters is that ur happy in your skin :)

[soleilnomoon]

Hi again! Still absolutely adore your Kid fic from your last event 💜 Never got around to asking for a Sanji one, so here I am again😅 But seriously, congrats on over 550 followers!! Love seeing your blog grow, cause you’re really talented and deserve them all and legit can’t wait til you hit 1k+ 🥰

For the event order, may I please ask for a #1 with my boi Sanji, with anmitsu, konpeito, and keylime pie and with honey, please? 🥹 i hate this but need some sanji angst 😭

I also dunno if these three would work particularly well together for a prompt, so you can choose whatever! just really feeling angst and sanji rn and maybe comfort if you’d like 🥰

Thank you for all your works you’ve done so far 💜💜

hiiii omg haha i loved that fic fr (i'm obsessed w that man!!!) also ily for requesting sanji i don't write him nearly enough 🥰️ but thank you sm!! 😭 making me all soft and i am so so sorry this took forever, as u know i am so slow but!!! i had fun tormenting sanji w the angst ngl 💓💓💓💓 also those were great choices for the prompt, i wanted to write more but it would've been 8k words before i finished and who has time for that (i do, but listen... that's besides the point) ✨

2k words, fem reader (honestly gn too now that i think abt it), sfw (SHOCKING i know), 18+ mdni, a lil bit suggestive but nothing wild, angst angst angst city babey, fluff if you squint, also i gave u comfort bc u deserve it bb 💗(and sanji does too); feat. sanji being in denial forever and ever, mutual pining, fake unrequited love, reader is determined and sanji is a coward; also i made myself sad writing this but a good sad bc sanji deserves happiness and i'll fight oda if he doesn't get it i s2g... (if u see grammar mistakes/spelling errors... no u didn't 💗)

“loving each other began this way: threading / loneliness into loneliness / patiently, our hands trembling and precise.” — yehuda amichai

STEP 01:

what does it take to kill a soul? —

a question that’s posed unironically, without a hint of remorse or tact, the words precise and venomous, slicing through the thick veneer that he’s carefully crafted. he’s never been able to answer that question — not at six years old, not twelve or fifteen, and not at twenty-one. his siblings took pleasure in taunting him with seemingly philosophical questions, ones that clamped down onto his thoughts with heavy shackles.

even after he’s extracted himself from that life, he can’t scrub those memories from his mind — no matter how hard he tries. they sit, still raw and bloody, giving rise to unpleasant emotions that make his stomach churn from so many things left unsaid. he never set out to be a pirate, but piracy has given him the sort of freedom that he could only wish for as a child.

it’s with tender hands, with nimble yet graceful fingers, and with a fastidiousness that puts him in a category of his own, that he creates and creates and creates —

he’s told he’s an artist, which only pushes him to work harder, to be better. and when he asks himself why, he doesn’t have an answer. or, rather, the answer he does have only serves as a punishing reminder that he’ll never be good enough. no matter how many times his crew mates thank him — their emphatic, genuine praise a soft, warm breeze against his heart, gentle caresses that he commits to memory — despair still manages to infiltrate, a darkness choking out what little light he has left inside of him.

STEP 02:

how far are you willing to go to reach the truth? —

when you join the crew, he’s unnerved by your presence, which is wholly unlike him. usually, he’s able to put on his façade of the flirtatious cook, one that’s jovial and sociable, that lives to serve and please those around him. his first conversation with you ends in disaster; he spills the drink he tried to pour for you, despite your insistence that you are perfectly capable of pouring your own drink — and he knows it’s not out of malice, but it cuts into him all the same.

he tries again and again, bringing you little treats that you only agree to eating if he sits and eats with you; confusion eats away at his mind, and when he opens his mouth to decline, you pat the seat next to you and he acquiesces. he sits stiffly, at first, unsure of why he always feels on edge around you — an irritating need to impress you in a way he’s never wanted to for others grows stronger by the day.

you think it’s cute that he always seems flustered around you — that he stumbles over his words, refuses to hold eye contact with you for longer than thirty seconds — you also think it’s cute that the false bravado that he puts on for the world, diminishes immediately the second you come close to him. if he’s skittish, it’s because you always catch him staring at you; despite his quick reflexes, his reactions around you are slow but pure — childish, almost.

lately he’s clumsier and scatterbrained, nearly burning dinner when you decide to keep him company. you lean against the countertop, a teasing smile on your face — the same one that that caused him to bump his forehead against the cabinet door earlier — as you prattle on about a dream you had. he can barely keep up, his eyes drifting from the skillet to your face, gliding around the curve of your cheek, dipping lower in a slow descent along your neck.

he blinks repeatedly when he reaches your clavicle, stunned at his restraint; and it’s only when you call his name loudly that he realizes he’s left the heat on for too long.

“are you okay?” you ask when you see that he’s fussing over how best to save the dish, mouth moving as he quietly mutters to himself. he barely registers your voice, as an insidious one whispers harshly into his ears about his perpetual incompetence and lack of talent.

you can see that he’s retreated even further into his mind, a feat that also leaves you frustrated. you want to shake him but refrain and grab his hand instead. he snaps out of whatever stupor that held him captive just moments ago, lips parting as he sighs softly before glancing down at you.

“thank you.”

the words are quiet, but impactful, as he didn’t think he’d be able to get them out. you let go of his hand too soon, but he doesn’t say anything else, choosing to focus on cooking than embarrassing himself again in front of you.

you take his silence as a silent dismissal, but you don’t fight him on it — it’s bitter, that sort of rejection, and you swallow back your argument with great difficulty.

STEP 03:

what’s the difference between cowardice and self-preservation? —

frustration bubbles underneath his skin when he can’t find where he placed his lighter; he runs a hand through his hair and tugs on impulse, accidentally ripping a few strands from his scalp. they swirl and tumble onto the ground, pathetic in a way — just like me, but he never really says that out loud. he doesn’t hear your footsteps, although you did your best to remain as quiet as possible.

a cigarette sits in between his lips, and he has half a mind to toss it over the railing of the ship, but a warmth suddenly appears in front of him in the form of a flame. you found his lighter on the floor earlier and meant to give it to him, but every time you got closer, he found every excuse to leave. you don’t realize the impact you have on him — not really, anyway — because he’s genuinely surprised that you can’t hear the heavy beats of his heart that grow more intolerable the longer he hangs around you.

always afraid of being found out, he opts to keep his distance. it’s easier this way, he tells himself, better. but he doesn’t quite believe that; the evidence is plain as day when his tongue feels like its grown three sizes in the span of seconds, where his words get lost and forgotten. it’s all your fault, he reasons; you who insists on talking candidly with him, who insists on listening to him ramble about his dreams, who absolutely insists on stubbornly tearing down his walls, steadily chipping away without a care in the world. he looks at you as if you are the source of all his problems, but he also looks at you as if you’re the solution.

the intensity behind his stare makes your hands tremble slightly, it’s a miracle you’ve managed to keep yourself composed for this long. you light the end of his cigarette with ease, as if you’ve done this for him hundreds of times —and place the lighter into his pants pocket afterwards. if he wasn’t so used to you getting in his personal space all the time, he’d retreat immediately. the proximity is almost too much for him, but he doesn’t step back; you take that as a good sign and keep him company for a few minutes.

you don’t care for the smell of smoke, but on him it smells good. you almost tell him that, but instead bite down on your lip and keep your comment at bay, nerves getting the best of you as you nearly choke on the possibility that your feelings won’t be reciprocated.

another time, maybe. cheeks flushed, you turn your face to look elsewhere. although, you wonder if there ever will be another time. with him, you never know.

he’s still trying to figure you out and why he feels a different sort of calm around you; it’s alarming and new, drumming up an irrational fear within him. he doesn’t think he’s deserving of your attention or affection, and he’s convinced himself that you don’t harbor any romantic feelings for him. and why would you?

one by one, his thoughts pummel into him, acerbic and overwhelming. he exhales a sliver of smoke and puts the cigarette out. he gives you a quick, apologetic look before telling you goodnight, the smile on his face is melancholic and barely existent. you don’t dare say a word, keep your lips pressed together stubbornly; exasperated and dejected, you don’t know what’s worse — his inability to lower his guard around you for longer than ten minutes, or your inability to stop yourself from trying to carve pieces of yourself to give to him.

maybe if you helped him fill the gaping holes in his heart, he’d truly understand how you feel.

STEP 04:

if you had to do it all over again, would you do anything differently? —

sleep evades you after that night, and the night after that, and so forth; it gets so bad that you’re yawning in the middle of the day, falling asleep before you can have a cup of coffee or tea. this does not go unnoticed by the others, and after talking with nami, you feel less out of your element and finally can see the parts of sanji that he wants to keep hidden. her advice is simple: approach slowly and with intent; corner him and don’t let him escape.

you bide your time, full confident that you can find a moment to sit down with him and talk this all out. it doesn’t come easy, but franky mysteriously swaps sanji for the night’s watch — something that should strike you as odd, but it’s a small opening that you take without thinking as you hurriedly climb up to the crow’s nest with a renewed sort of energy.

even with his eyes closed, as he sits lazily on the bench with head tilted back against the wall, he knows it’s you.

“go back to bed,” he says firmly, refusing to look at you.

your stubbornness, unfortunately, wins out. “i’m staying.” at that he sits up, his attention completely on you as his eyes widen at your words. he wants to ask you why, but cowardice wins out — again. as his features soften, a flush crawls along his face, lightly painting his cheeks pink. he closes his eyes again, tries to steady his breathing as he counts backwards, only for his efforts to be obliterated with ease the moment you sit next to him.

as your thigh presses against his, you take his hand and on impulse you trace your fingertip along the lines on his palm. he watches you with a morbid fascination that scares him; but then you start to say things like, “you will live a very long life,” and “you are courageous, and you have a big heart.”

a small part of him wants to pull his hand away, so you won’t say anything else — but he remains put, so still that you almost think he’s stopped breathing. your voice is sweet and disarming, even when you carry on this charade of reading his palm. a belated realization hits him forcefully, making him blink several times; it dawns on him that you’ve always been so kind and gentle with him, even when you teased him. he’s spent all this time overthinking and hiding behind his past, that it never occurred to him that he could have simply let you in. you’ve never given him reason to believe that you’d betray or harm him intentionally.

he takes a deep breath, voice a little uneven, “i—”

you lean in close, adoration dripping onto your words as you interrupt him. “hey, have i told you?” the question glides along his skin, the words seeping into him as you continue, the lilt in your voice a honeyed, melodic spell. “you remind me of starlight and the mysteries of space.” your lips brush against his when you tell him that, and a warmth settles into the middle of his chest, makes it hard to focus. he doesn’t think when he curls his fingers around yours and doesn’t think when heleans down to kiss you — tender yet electrifying all the same.

the move disarms you in a way that doesn’t quite make sense to you, so you simply hum in approval and lean your head against his shoulder. a comfortable silence settles around you both, but you don’t mind that at all; it’s nice, not having to tip-toe around him anymore, and the demons that plagued him for so long don’t seem so intimidating with you by his side.

[seaweedbraens]

hi Vani

saw the update notif at 9 pm when i was out with a few friends, i then proceed to become supremely uninterested in whatever was going on because i was EXCITED AS FUCK to read the new update, reached home and read the whole thing in the next 2 hours like a lunatic even though i had to be up super early today fuck u i love u

the update was absolutely brilliant as always! i didn't see Nico coming!!! I'm so glad you wrote Nico meeting Jason because they both just need someone cos they're so lonely and I'm glad it's them ❤️ reading about this anguished and angry Leo feels so different because that's not how he acts at all- but it's 100% called for and i love seeing the angry reactions from him and Piper because they're right to be Angry and i would've been mad if you would've just written them to be sad

LOVING THE PERCABETH TENSION !!!!!!!!!!!!! have a bone to pick with you- WHY DIDNT YOU MAKE THEM KISS BEFORE THE EXPLOSION I WAS WAITING FOR IT !!!!!!

also this is not me criticising you, but a genuine question because I noticed you rushed through the whole Calypso part, and Annabeth even said that she didn't believe percy was dead- why did you write it that way

also Hahahahaha Frank's reaction to Hazel not saying it back was so funny ("so That you love") i actually cackled

I'm super super excited for Rachel and percabeth for the next part !!! and also about Jason and Nico

i can't wait to see how percy accepts the prophecy à la titans curse (i think?), and i have a feeling it'll be to protect Nico

thank u once again for an excellent update! can't wait for you to update Wreck my plans now! (i think you said earlier that you're updating them alternately) All the love xx

answering this publicly bwcause you bring up some good feedback and issues w the fic that i wanted to talk about

FR THO PLS YOU FLATTER ME

also YES. nico and jason as two lost souls - one leaving home and one wanting home so badly - GIMME THAT GOOD SHIT. i hope i did their dialogue right and nico coming out too because I WAS TERRIFIED FOR THAT SHIT

leo and piper deserve to be angry, especially since theyre all best friends and tell each other everything. i think they both see jason's departure as a sign that he didnt trust them, ehoch hurts just as much as him leaving does. also, leo's guilt is also very important here - the fact that he says that he was too scared to die for his friends is something to be noted. i guess thats a spoiler?

i wanted to make percabeth kiss SO FUCKIN BADLY but i figured that i their kiss in chapter 5 to be that much more full of emotion because itll be their first kiss PLS HOLD ON WE'LL GET THERE. EVENTUALLY

yIKES i was hoping the calypso part didnt come off as too rushed but i guess it cant be helped! essentially i did that bit for percy to choose life over death and more specifically choose life because of his concern for annabeth. i want to tie this into her being his mortal tether, which will be brought back up again in chapter 5 for reasons im sure youve guessed by now :)

on that same vein, annabeth innately knows percy is alive because of this connection, even though they dont know of it yet. but she needed to have that fear of him being gone and so much being unresolved between them still for her to be able to open up to piper and even entertain the idea of loving percy - in a different way from luke. but thats something she needs to figure out for herself.

im so glad you liked this update!!!! also feel FREE to criticise me or ask me things, i love hearing people talk about the fic and believe me im always so eager to share my thought process.

wreck my plan ch2 is in the works! i literally just started chapter 4 part 2 today, so maybe we'll get that soon, too!!

tysm for all the love i will NEVER deserve you <3

[sanchoyo]

ooo for the ask game 4 and 16 for tmm!

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

1.YES kish/ichigo! the thing is. I GET it, and I don't really care if other people ship it obv (esp since ppl are adults these days in the fandom at large and shipped it as kids, I get that its a nostalgia thing for a lot of ppl, or has an interesting post-canon dynamic?)

what I do hate is that kishigo shippers tend to throw my fav best boy masaya under the bus, or make him wildly ooc, or just generally hate on him. :( thankfully I see that a lot less these days as again a lot of ppl are adults and more mature abt it (and I am generous with the block button for ppl who arent, lmao) but back in the day it was painful and everywhere. like, even if im a masago fan, I LIKE kisshu as a character and find him interesting, and even if I DIDNT u wouldnt see me putting chara hate for him in the main tag! thats tacky! some ppl need to learn character analysis fr because how are they looking at the same characters I am!!!

kishigo just isnt For Me, its a lil icky even putting all of that aside but the way the fans of it acted years ago made it my association with the ship even worse. I dont think ill ever be able to look at it w/out cringing bc of that lol 🤷‍♂️

2....its not exactly a NoTP, but I dont really care for any pai ships I've seen either, but thats just bc I dont super love him as a character (I am so sorry to my sister if she ever sees this, he is her fav tmm boy x_x)

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

OHHH this is a hard one. the question specifies 'show' but I'm gonna actually answer for the series as a whole (manga, old show, new show)

I'd probably change the new series to keep the old series' lore about the mew aqua rod being an ancient alien artifact instead of being a masha form (...because this lines up with my fanfiction, no other reason, actually, lol)

2. For the old series, no panty/bust shots. those are awkward and bad, and the new show did better w that, at least imo.

3. make the new show longer. we know its at least getting a season 2, but cmon. give me like 7 seasons. stretch it out, add brand new filler eps with focus on each chara, no need to rush, give us lots of new mew content, don't be shy about merch, either... 👀 and add berry and ringo, too... (in a perfect world, season 3 will be made and feature berry, and ringo would get an OVA or movie situation.)

4. more alien lore!!!! anything. give us crumbs we deserve them (I also really wanted alien redesigns like the girls got tbh! even if I kinda like the old mew designs better, I still wouldve liked to see smth new for the aliens anyway)

5. MORE OUTFITS. always want more Fashione for the gals

Thank u for asking!! ^^

[franeridart]

Didn't they all take the practical exam at the same time in the manga?? I'm confused....

Yeah, they changed that part orz I’m really unhappy about that for a number of reasons, but I guess their reasoning was that they wanted the anime to end with the Baku Deku vs All Might fight and in the manga that’s, like, the second fight to be done with? And if they had kept the order the anime would have ended with Mineta and Sero, so… I guess I get why they went for this, but still. I can’t say I like it orz

Anon said:I’m sure you’re expecting this ask but kiribaku study date!! :3 I can’t believer Bakugou ACTUALLY tried to beat the learning into kirishima XD

Well, it’s beginning-of-the-story-Bakugou after all, what else could we even expect from him hahaha Kirishima passed the written part tho, so it must have worked!!

Anon said:Wait hold up you’ve got me interested now. So I’m like a little past halfway through soul eater and I haven’t started the manga YET (I totally will now that you’ve suggested it) but… When did tsubaki turn into a boy??

It doesn’t happen in the anime! It’s ch 72 to… 74? 75? They go somewhere where all the girls get turned into boys and vice versa for a while! (That’d be Soul, Maka, Blair, Black Star, Tsubaki, Liz, Patty, Kilik, Thunder and Fire) (Liz and Patty look especially amusing lmao)

Anon said:what do u think abt kats*deku???? If u dont ship them - why?

I’m pretty sure I gave an in depth answer to this question a couple of times already, but do you think I’ve been able to find it? (I haven’t) so to make a fast recap, I only like them as friends, nothing sexual and nothing romantic - I really, really, really want to see them become friends, but I can’t see the necessary chemistry for any other kind of relationship between them, right now

And that’s also why I don’t ship it? I just can’t see it working in a way such that both of them are as happy as they can be, and I only ship if I can see both characters being happy in the relationship - foundamentally Bakugou and Izuku are different on all the wrong things, a big part of the reason why they fight so much is that their ways of living are different, to make a space for each other in their lives big enough that they won’t step on each other’s toes every two steps they take they should change their core personalities a lot. 

And I’m not talking about Bakugou, specifically, I’m talking about both of them. I do know that the fandom likes to pick Bakugou and turn his personality inside-out to make him fit with Deku in such a way that Deku will be happy, but realistically that’s only gonna make Bakugou miserable. It’s true that most faults rest on Bakugou’s shoulders as far as their relationship goes, but Deku isn’t the sort of person fit to be with Bakugou either - and I can’t have Bakugou make a 180° on his personality, force himself to be someone he’s not, just to accomodate Deku. I like Bakugou as he is, and I want to see him grow up while growing into himself. And while I do prefer Bakugou as a character, I happen to like Deku as he is very much as well, I don’t want him to turn into another person just to accomodate Bakugou’s personality either

So this turns into “either I change these two characters to make them fit together, or I let them be just friends and actually find characters that do fit with them as they are already”, and personally, I’m always gonna go for the second option. I mean, why would I want to ship them when I can ship bakushima t b h

Of course you’re free to ship it if to you the chemistry is more obvious than it is to me! It’s just not my cup of tea at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anon said:Could I possibly see a comic with Kirishima being tied between Ashido and Bakugo??? I thought it’d be cute since some people *cough cough* me *cough* may or may not be tied between Kirimina and Bakushima. :3

I………….. can’t do that, sorry orz triangles aren’t my thing at all. It’s either the polyship or bakushima, triangles get on my nerves more than any other plot device does to be completely honest with you. Triangles are the bane of my existence

Anon said: Hi there! I just wanted to say I’ve been scrolling through all your Bakushima art for ages and it’s healed me :,) fr tho i lov how you portray them and their dynamic and you have a lovely art style! Thank you for blessing us ahah

AHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD!!!!! (●´□`)♡

Anon said:hey there! just wanted to drop by and let you know that I find your art super inspiring? like i am IN LOVE with your art style, and I absolutely adore it. i love how the characters you draw have perfect expressions, i love how natural their poses look and i love how you portray characters friendships + relationships in comics it feels completely natural. even if im not into the stuff you draw, i love looking at it because its so great?? keep being wonderful because you deserve good things ^u^

Holy shit thank you??? I honest to god don’t know how to answer this??? means a lot??? fuck thank you I might go and cry for a bit ( •̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥ )

Anon said:Hey your art of sero carry bakugou give me life honestly good posts all around

Thank you!!!! :O Sero carrying Bakugou is something I myself need more of in my life tbh hahaha what a good concept I should draw more

Anon said:your latest bakugou I’m crying… he’s gorgeous and Buff and strong and could highkey bench press me I’m swooning

GLAD YOU LIKED HIM!!!!! :O you guys actually liked that one WAY more than I thought anyone would holy smokes!!

Anon said:Umm… I hope you don’t mind, but I showed a friend so e of your work, and I think it got you a new follower lol they really liked what I showed, and when I told them you do Kaminari, too, that was that. Can’t talk fave artists, without you 💜✌

:O !!!!!!!!!!!! why would I mind omfg, thank you so much!!!!!

Anon said:Okay, now I’ve been through your account since 2 hours ago, i can say I’m officially Bakushimanari trash. Omg i had never seen something as good as what you did to these three. (Btw sorry if my english’s not very good, but i had to say this)

!!!! Happy you liked them!!!!! They’re a good group, those three (灬ºωº灬)♡

Anon said: Yesterday was a shitty day, but today I woke up and saw your art, and stalked your blog, so I feel today will be a much better day. Happy boys are good. Never stop making happy boys happy.

I hope your day was actually a great one, anon!! And I hope today was great for you as well!!! And thank you so much for liking my stuff, happy boys are indeed my greatest weakness and favorite subject to draw haha happy boys and girls and nb and anything else too, really, happy people are good for my soul~

Anon said:Someone doesn’t know Soul Eater?! Now I feel old (・・;)

Haha, well it’s not really about being old/young as much as it’s about how long one’s been into anime/how far back they go when they decide to watch something new~ Soul Eater hasn’t had an active fandom for ages now, after all!